#I never finished because I got bored so
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My biggest most secret confession go:
I knew nothing about Supernatural. I was eleven-ish when I was looking through Netflix and I found it, wow!!
I was pretty sheltered so I had no idea it was insanely popular, I just went “wowoahh monster killing fun”
However, my mom was iffy on horror/monster-y things (see above about being sheltered) so I felt as if this was the eighth deadly sin, and hid the fact I was watching it like I would be sent to the stocks or something
Here’s where it actually kicks in.
A while later, I’m still enjoying Supernatural (still unaware of its popularity) and my mom has gotten way more chill
My mother, brother, and I tended to watch an episode or two of a show together as a family each Friday night or something
You might know where this is going
SO IMAGINE MY 11/12 YEAR OLD SURPRISE WHEN
I hear the DREADED, the FEARED, the MOST AWFUL THING POSSIBLE
“Oh this looks fun” and I LOOK UP TO SEE SUPERNATURAL (my mom was ALSO like “woah!!!! killing monsters! Fun!!)
So I’m freaking out but I stay calm
I was built for this
I had years of drama camp under my belt and I was ready to put on the act of my life
And like any logical person, instead of saying ANYTHING about the fact I know it, or even know it exists, I go “yeah sure seems cool” when they ask if we should watch it
THEN
For the next like… FOUR OR FIVE SEASONS??? I watch with them SLOWLY and the ENTIRE TIME I am pretending I have NEVER seen ANY of it and went “oh wow I hope he makes it (😰)” and stuff for the WHOLE TIME
then after a point, I got tired of hiding the fact my Netflix account (which was very much able to be seen by them) was like three seasons ahead, so I told them I just watched ahead on my own account because I wanted to find out what happened next
And THAT is how I explained that away
But wait
It gets BETTER (maybe)
To this day, they still have NO clue that this happened. I have never told them that we did not discover Supernatural as a family, I will never tell them just found it and watched it in secret.
It’s too late to go back and this will be kept to my grave.
#I felt like a spy in enemy territory when they suspect there’s a spy and start saying things to see who reacts to sus the spy out#confession#silly#silly goofy#supernatural#cw supernatural#supernatural crack#I hope the supernatural girlies like it#wherever they are#the lengths a person goes to to hide their Supernatural interests#and I will take it to my grave#I never finished because I got bored so#but it kept my attention for longer than most shows so slay ig#it’s the forbidden topic of my life because I immediately am sent back to watching things and pretending to be surprised#this is so stupid#but it happened#I’m just talking to myself in the tags by now#it’s fun though#shoutout to my mom if you see this#if you do I have to ask why you have a tumblr#anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk#supernatural tv show#supernatural fandom
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saw this dress and purse and i KNEW i had to draw this, it's so her!!
#ml#marinette dupain-cheng#miraculous ladybug#omg i post art not clickbait??#Hmm dont think i added enough sparkles.....#i initially wanted it to look like a page from her sketchbook but i got render-happy#I was gonna add tikki but she didnt fit the color palette -_-#indigarts#marinette#forcing myself to draw/write because if i dont i will literally never finish anything#not exaggerating i have over 40 art & fic wips combined#and like... 4 aus in the works?#my hands cant keep up with my brain!!!#Yall bored during hiatus... not me. stay safe tho!#and not to mention that ive been so sick i cant hold a pen most of the time#ok i'll shut up now#edit was no one gonna tell me i put the hyphen in her name wrong.
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I've been rewatching daredevil and oh my my, it's even better than i remembered, this show is so criminally underrated
#daredevil#daredevil netflix#matt murdock#marvel#marvel mcu#i blame loki for bringing me back to watching mcu related content#I'm rewatching it now because of echo#i mean wilson fisk is there and they're gonna bring back matt in the mcu so i need to see them#like i don't care about the mcu anymore I'm so fed up with marvel and disney but this is these are the good shows from the past#and i never got to finish daredevil (or the punisher)#because i was watching all these shows in order and i found jessica jones and luke cage more boring#so i could never go past luke cage 2x01#don't get me wrong i LOVE luke as a character and i also enjoyed the first season#but it has that style where the episodes are super slow and boring until the big extreme violence plot twist in the end#and the season takes a lot of time to grow on you to the point where as soon as you're caught it's over#anyway#daredevil is the best of these#then the punisher#and the defenders#this is very unpopular but i actually enjoyed iron fist very much too#it was lacking in quality compared to all the others but randy was just such a panda bear I MEAN COME ON#🐼#anyway rewatching it now#it's been SO LONG
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i lost the post but i saw someone talking about how some of y’all act like being weird is a choice and like. YEAHHHHHHH.
that’s fine, it might be for you. but i just live like this and don’t know any other way. like yeah i’ve worked customer service, i can do innocuous small talk, but anything beyond that, i don’t understand what i’m missing. and it’s frustrating to see the tonal disconnect especially from people who are like “uwu embrace weirdness!!” where they’re like. dressing quirky and talking about bugs and listening to obscure music and eschewing small talk to ask Deep Questions on the first date and unlearning their tendency to not infodump. and generally have an idea of what Weirdness is supposed to look like. idk man some of us wake up and get out of bed and can’t figure out why the rest of their coworkers chitchat with each other but when they join the conversation it dies.
weirdness is value neutral. let’s stop trying to turn it into a badge because quite frankly, it’s not a choice for everyone. it’s fucking exhausting to never be on the same wavelength as other people and they’re going to react the way they do and label you the way they will without any conscious actions on your end. it’s difficult to talk about this without feeling like you’ll be dismissed as immature, a teenager whining “no one understands me” but the thing is. sometimes you don’t grow out of feeling alone and different, and there’s no good way to talk about it without feeling like people will think you’re just fishing for pity.
#most of it is stuff i can’t help like!!!#coworkers and i don’t share a lot of interests so i’m always like. yes i’ve heard of that show but haven’t seen it. no idk that band sorry#and they’ll like. talk shit abt other people who share my interests without realizing that i also like those things#so i just have to sit there and take it#i feel like i don’t have a lot in common with my friends even. a few shared interests but very different lives#in my experience the conscious choice has been to try to keep up with what’s popular but it’s just. not interesting to me#i got bored and forgot to finish s2 of stranger things and never picked it back up#even alt subcultures have gone kinda mainstream and i never quite slot in#let’s not even touch the gay culture ‘flags’ that are extremely online and unrelatablr#and the most frustrating thing. every time i try to talk about myself and my interests i feel people shutting down#one person i know. open mouth sighs in exasperation when i open my mouth#i don’t know why you’re making it my problem that we’re different#i know there is supposed to be a niche out there for everyone but some of that feels like#those niches are falling prey to marketability. if you’re too far out of the mainstream. too out of touch. it can’t be helped#a lot of messaging online is like. embrace weirdness but only if it’s subversive in a very specific way#too normal to hang out with self-proclaimed proud weirdos. too weird to hang out with normies#like i thought the thing was to disavow performativity. i’m sorry i don’t find the same things interesting#i don’t care about the office and you don’t care about the hundred years’ war. that’s fine. why is that seen as a personal fault of mine#i feel like some of the reaction i get might be bc it comes across as hipster shit. idk#i’m literally just oblivious and looking for any kind of indicator for social interaction#but so often it feels like the onus of finding common ground is on me. i have to listen abt things idk but no one cares what i have to say#i think what makes it more frustrating is this reaction from people who claim to not care. do their own thing#and then get annoyed when i do mine and it’s. different#instead of being like ‘fuck the mainstream! conformity is bullshit! be yourself!’ it’s like#‘fuck the mainstream because it doesn’t appeal to me personally and i’ve made my own club!’#and this is not going to come out right because i’m just at my limit and venting and don’t know how to say things the right way#so people don’t misunderstand me#i just happen to never like the Right Things and know the Right Things and act the Right Way and idk how else to say it other than#can we be more normal about weird people#idk it’s hard to talk abt this without sounding like i’m just complaining but i’m more bewildered and trying to state things as i see them
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id: a photo of a miniature figurine repainted to look like Q from star trek in his judge outfit. he is standing up, holding a golden scepter in his left hand. there is nothing in his right hand but he's raising it up as well. he's smiling and looking to the right. the background is grey and black. end id
#i've been holding onto this figurine since forever and today i had an epiphany. so he got turned into an earring#art#Q star trek#apologies for the photo quality i still don't know how to take one that's decent um#still i'm pretty proud from how this turned out ^__^ get silly#AND i finally have an earring that goes with my starfleet one!#i never finished the tng pilot because i got bored after 40 minutes but i LOVE this outfit of his
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he really is just a knock off afo isn't he 😂
he isn't a freak or kind of pathetic like him sadly and those are my favorite aspects of afo so nine falls flat for me despite having the white hair and similar quirk. he's the most interesting of the movie villains and has the best design though imo.
#I never finished the heroes rising movie because I got bored but I know tomura kills him in the end#didn't like all the stuff that happened with ofa being exchanged so easily so that made me not want to finish it either but thats a whole-#different rant#the movies have always let me down in some way even my favorite one (two heroes) but the preview of the next villain has me a little excite#because it's just another man who is completely insane about toshinori so I'm interested in seeing how that unfolds 👀
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sweet sweet re:kinder community... I would like to ask y'all how you came upon the game and your experiences with it because i wanna know. im genuinely so curious to hear about other people's experiences and little opinions about this game because of how wild the game is (/pos) I'd love to hear it. do ramble to me about it
#re:kinder#not art#so in my case i once saw someone talk about it in a video and some scenes with the very vague context really struck with me#i was like wow...that is so sad... i wonder what goes on#but the thing is i watch videos talking about games like that ALLL THE TIME while im multi-tasking so i FORGOT FOR A YEAR?!?!?#until one day i was sick in pain on my bed could not move. and then it came to me. yes. “RE:KINDER. I SHOULD PLAY IT.” LIKE OUT OF NOWHERE#i will never understand how i dying of pain remembered a game i saw once BY NAME AT LEAST A YEAR LATER when jve heard of so many games#and you wanna know why it stuck with me. i saw in the video an image of the “as if id be reborn as a princess” line#i did not know the context but it was devastating#AND WHEN I PLAYED THE GAME when that scene game i was shocked to silence😭😭 BECAUSE I BASICALLY WENT COMPLETELY BLIND??#I DID NOT KNOW THE LITTLE KID WOULD BE THE ANTAGONIST???? AND THAT HE WOULD HAVE SUCH A SAD STORY??#like. i saw the sad coming i knew it was bound to happen yet i could have never been prepared for how hard it would hit me#I HAD TONS OF FUN but at first when i finished it i was so confused and so lost i was like welll.....what a game... TOO STUNNED FOR WORDS#then i thoughr of it for 20 minutes and bawled my eyes out and realized it was art#so when i got to my second playthrough i CRIED LIKE CRAZYYY😭😭 I WAS BLOWN AWAY IT REALLY HITS YOU#personally it admittedly hit close to home and while it made me bawl my eyes out it was also very comforting i felt very understood#AND IT WAS CRAZY FUN TOO i was not bored once the first time i played through it i was sleepy but i was so excited to keep playing😭😭#its funnt becayse i was initially apprehensive about playing cuz im sensitive to stories where sad things happen to kids#but i played it regardless because i was like “but what if its one of those scary media that hit close to home and i enjoy”#AND I WAS RIGHT. BUT NOT ENTIRELY BECAUSE I DID NOT THINK IT WOULD HIT AS INTENSELY AS IT DID😭😭 IT WAS MYCH MORE THAN EXPEVTED#many ways in which it impacted me but if i started listing them i would not shut up . so for now it is enough#IN SUMMARY WOW.. WHAY A GOOD GAME!! PLAY RE:KINDER!!!#i rambled more than i intended to i do apologize
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i WAS gonna complain about horror being a skeleton and therefore never able to do the akanbe face but then i remembered. i'm an artist!! i can just DRAW him doing it 😇😇😇 ok but he doesn't have eyelids iKNOW ill figure it out ok
#im going on a short vacation that means prime time to slack off and mtthink#and i have some drawing ideas froM LIKE TWO WEEKS AGO that i never drew because i had no motivation or even time#so now i can do it :3333 lets (me) see if i still even like the ideas#and i have Saturday and sunday and mondayOFFschool and then i leave on wednesday morning ヽ(≧∀≦)ノ#and that gives me prime time to draw draw DRAW#and theres like 20 days left of October i really should get to work on that animation meme#i WILL trust i swear#if not i kill myself#jk! (fashion au?)#ive been using kaomojis now. jk killer would too#ヽ(≧∀≦)ノ#me taking like a whole week on a shitty hrkl little writing thing when it was leagues easier to just describe my idea#i REALLY had a vision and then i was reminded that writing is boring and that a vision expressed through words cant keep my attention#anyways i finished another little dust doodle of a song that reminded me of him#now it is time to actually get my life together and shower and brush teeth#the only homework ive got is reading a few pages#i have been ON TOP OF MY HOMEWORK since school started bro😭😭😭😭 ive been SUCH a good student 😭😭😭😭#so much free time at home and yet none of it is spent on doing anything but laying down and lazing about#come on! come on! you need to get up! use your brain! PLEASE TRIGLYVERUVLE PLEASE FOR YOUR OWN ENTERTSINMENT#forcing myself to do something i find fun when i have no motivation to get up is so annoying#iWANT to draw iWANT to think i WANT to write (eh) but i just nonono feel like it (༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ)#tricule rant#actually today i found another song that could fit horror but i just glanced at the lyrics#if i aint mtt pondering at the very least ill be connecting them to songs#new art project is gonna have HINTS of mtt in it. not really but if im aware of them then they exist#i love art class i love learning about art principles i just wish i could apply that shit to my work#well DIGITAL work. doing stuff traditionally always feels so much easier
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He Who Can't Catch A Fucking Break is more like it
#eugene sims#delsin rowe#infamous second son#I know Eugene has sunglasses but I didn't feel like drawing them#as you can tell it's not finished and likely never will be so cut me some slack here LMFAO#its just a sketch because I got bored and I may or may not be having another second son phase for the first time in like 7 years
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good grie what is happening in hatchetfield
#NEW STARKID MUSICAL DROPPED IM 10 DAYS LATE 💀#i just finished it its so chaotic and probably my new favorite LOLL i know its an over the top parody but it reminded me of highschool#we never had any killer ghost jocks or anything. ours were so overtly friendly#one of them started up a long conversation with me by the microwave because i asked him if he ever got a concussion#he explained the rules of football to me and i still dont get it. but he was cool i like that memory. i wonder where he is now#anyway this musical was great and yknow how some live shows have a boring audience like they never clap or anything#this audience was so enthusiastic i loved them and im holding back on how fun the characters are just go watch itt#i havent watched blackfriday yet but maybe some day. and maybe thats why i had no idea why they cheered when the lords showed up
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alright, after spending the better part of a week in fire emblem limbo, i gotta get back to like. paying attention to anything else in my life.
deal with a mod situation
exercise
take out the trash
50 WK reviews
script 3 wrong answers for J/A
catch up on Escher's Gap and do session tonight
#sc accountability#i wrote a big long review of Engage at ass o'clock last night#brazen i'm unqualified to fight you about 3H because i never finished golden deer#all i saw was the two routes where Two Sides Do A War and nothing else happens so i don't even actually know the plot#replaying the same randomly generated filler missions and grinding garreg mach shit got too boring for me to keep playing the game
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istg i don’t cry when couples finally have their first kiss/gets together in a series but by GOD did they change the chemistry in my brain this was insANE-
(more thoughts on reblog)
#shipping things#hacy#macy vaughn#harry greenwood#charmed 2018#charmed reboot#madeleine mantock#rupert evans#maybe cause it's 12:20 am and i spoiled myself about them so i'm in my feels about them cause ik what'll go down BUT#mads and rupert were AMAZING#i felt it through the screen of my laptop in the dark of my room on a midnight mood of a thursday#i need you guys to know that i only have two main reasons why i watched this series (1) to hear out my friend cause she made a#hunter x maggie fic and (2) madeleine mantock played my fav character in the tomorrow people - astrid - so i got a major hit of nostalgia#i was gonna watch the tomorrow people instead but ik what's gonna happen and watched it so#i thought to myself: why not? it's new and my friend has a rarepair i wanna support her#i was almost finished with s1 and decided to let my friend know i'm watching it and guess fucking WHAT?? SHE NEVER WATCHED A SINGLE EPISODE#AND NOW I'M ATTACHED BUT I CAN'T TALK TO HER ABOUT MACY AND HARRY TO A FULL EXTENT CAUSE SHE ONLY CHECKED THE WIKI AND WAS BORED AND#WAS THERE FOR MAGGIE'S CHARACTER BECAUSE OF DESCENDANTS#this is worse than when i introduced VLD to my other friend and we both shipped klance but i didn't finish the show but SHE DID#this is my karma#after like 3 years this is my karma ahjdfhadfa#oh god it hurts#summer.txt
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horse confession i thought horses were indigenous to the americas up until embarrassingly recently like maybe a year or two ago. personally im choosing to blame spirit stallion of the cimarron for this because it failed to explain to me that mustangs are just feral horses not wild ones.
#i also never finished watching spirit because 8 year old me got bored. there wasnt enough moses i dont think#(i was debilitatingly fixated on dreamworks prince of egypt)#i also thought it was called spirit the wonder horse until i looked it up about 3 minutes ago to make this post. so.
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what is your favorite paring?
I try not to talk about what pairings I like I obviously got some it's just something I try not to do unless I have a moment of weakness. But since you asked it's Anyone X Nyo!America. I mean that. Put her with absolutely anyone and I am down. I just really like the personality I have made for Amelia in my head cannons
#ask#started writing a Nyo!AmericaxRomano fic like a week ago to so that might be my current favorite.#no it's not posted anywhere so don't ask lol. I just write for fun and for me#I don't think I would enjoy it if people were giving me pointers on it because I legit do it because I want to#I got like 20 Amelia fics on my computer I have started and will never finish. because finishing is boring to me
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At the crossroads between wondering if it's worth it to basically completely rewrite all my WIPs or just take a break from writing for the rest of the summer
#i noticed every summer i get progressively worse lol#like not in terms of writing but in terms of everything else goin on in my head#i mean if anyone is craving some dark and depressing shit i've got bits and pieces here#it's like i'm writing for an audience even in my own mind. can't finish anything because it's __ __ __ etc and my niche is too niche.#did my last fic really burn me out that much?? i mean it was basically 30 thousand words and there was a LOT packed into it#maybe i should finally respond to comments and i'll feel better.#something's been going on with me for the past couple months (maybe longer) and i'm just annoyed ALL the time#feel like i want to give up everything and stop talking to everyone. ((it could be my out of whack hormones mind))#so if i haven't been as active and haven't drawn or written much that's why. i'm pulling away and curling in like an atrophied limb.#my brain is just permanently in school mode. i can feel it gearing up for the oncoming year that's going to be super intense.#like would it even matter if i post any more work before september? idk why i can never seem to chill or take a break for even a minute.#i still have drawing projects i want to finish at least! taking me literally all summer because of surprise health problems.#partner was consoling me about how i feel for writing '''weird''' stuff with almost no focus on romance#saying that SOMEbody has to write what i write so that should keep me going. i just tell myself that it could be worse -#- i could be primarily a femslash writer. they are the real heroes and they get no respect.#idk why i'm getting so angsty#i think i might be romance/sex repulsed atm. not in real life at all but in fandom. i'm bored of it. and i'm bored of conversations about i#i'm sure i'll change my mind in what two weeks or so.#maybe i'll try to write something original#i have things in my ask box i should respond to. like asks about my writing. i just haven't been feeling well#so i haven't had the right brain to respond :( but i see the asks and i'm grateful <3#anyway peace and love
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I could never finish tng because for some reason it made me feel existential dread which is never good. but... maybe I should try to finish
#never finished ds9 either but thats because i got bored ... which is a shame because i know theres good eps coming up#my things#i never expected quark to be like. my fave ds9 character but here we are. hes just so funny#also theyre SEVEN SEASONS LONG. my attention span for it cuts out at like 3
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