#natural ways to increase fertility

[pregnancycounselors]

Improve female fertility with acupuncture. Balance hormones, boost reproductive health, &  increase the conception chances with holistic therapy.

[makethemmilky]

Being bred had given Shauna something she'd never expected: clarity. She knew, on the day she threw away her birth control pills and decided she was ready to have a baby, that her body would change irrevocably and that she'd deal with morning sick and mood swings. But she never expected to feel so serene, so utterly fulfilled by her pregnancy. Although she would never know exactly for sure, Shauna was fairly certain she knew exactly when she'd been impregnated, because within moments of her husband's cum hitting her unprotected womb she suddenly became aware of this overwhelming sensation of fulfillment crashing over. It was as if this great emptiness that had gnawed at her, for so long that she'd grown used to it, had suddenly and gloriously been satisfied.

With each week that passed, with each new inch of growth and pound she gained in her breasts, belly, and hips, Shauna became that much more confident that become round and full of life was the greatest achievement she would ever be capable of reaching. Of course she was proud of her diplomas she'd earned and marathons she'd run, but even those now felt like pale imitations of the pride she felt every time she cradled her increasingly perfect bump. Maybe it was just the pregnancy hormones making her feel that, or the countless generations of natural selection, but Shauna didn't care. All of that was just further argument that she was designed to be pregnant, that growing and carrying babies was her natural state. Of course, there were plenty of times when she didn't feel like a radiant fertility goddess.

The rest of the time, her vastly increased libido made her feel like a ravenous, cock-addled slut desperate to have her new curves manhandled by the man who made her this way. And if Shauna was being honest with herself, she was enjoying that other side of her new existence just as much.

[beguines]

Today, strawberries have replaced much of the citrus and olive trees in the strip, and despite the relatively small area of farmland used for this sector, it enjoys high economic and social value. In all of the ways that citrus cultivation has been targeted, strawberries seem designed to survive Israel's eco-colonial practices. Strawberries are able to survive on partially saline water, they have faster production cycles, are easier to cultivate and replant after destruction and uprooting, are more mobile after moments of displacement, require less space and distance between each planted crop, and enable farmers in Gaza's northern peripheries and along the buffer zones to remain visible to the observing Israeli occupation forces. As a crop with limited historical roots in the country, it adapts well and is highly versatile. The use of compost for the cultivation of strawberries enables significant increase in fruit productivity, saving Gazan farmers the use of precious water supplies and decreasing its need for the use of fertilizers.

Despite this, the conditions of Gaza's ongoing colonial isolation and erasure make it increasingly impossible for farmers to sustain their livelihoods off of the land, even with strawberry production. In today's Gaza, as the agricultural export industry is fully reliant on the Israeli permit system, strawberries are slowly being replaced with other low-growing, fast-yielding, cost-effective and high-demand fruits and vegetables. Indeed, as a colleague at the Union of Agricultural Work Committees, the largest agricultural development institution in Palestine, told me during my time in Gaza, the most recent crop to slowly begin its replacement of strawberries in this line of forced colonial transition is pineapple—with the first pineapple farm planted in Khan Younes in 2017.

Examining the conditions that make strawberry production more practical and fuel the transition from citrus production requires examining the ongoing Israeli colonization of natural resources that supplant and suppress traditional modes of relating to nature. Witnesses of Israeli neo-colonial violence, the disappearing orchards in Gaza mark its new disconnected reality. The transition from the orange to the strawberry—and perhaps later to pineapple—is more than a shift in markets and produce. They affect the history and identity of Palestinians in Gaza. The links between cultivation and national or communal identity are well-known and documented in other contexts, including their intersection with colonial nation-branding. But in the context of aggressive climate change the instabilities, tensions, and erasures that come with transitions in vegetation are growing increasingly stark. For example, in the case of the Swiss canton of Valais, global heating has resulted in the growth of cacti, Opuntia, that are proliferating on the mountainsides of the canton, encroaching on natural reserves and causing a biodiversity threat. Used to "seeing their mountainsides covered with snow in winter and edelweiss flowers in summer" warmer and drier temperatures have given way to what is named in media coverage as an "invasive species colonizing the slopes." Launching an uprooting campaign in 2022, the press release stressed that "this invasive and non-native plant is not welcome in the perimeter of prairies and dry pastures of national importance." Evidently the discourse mobilized is dominated by aggressive language of aliens and invasion, which contributes to the use of violent and war-like metaphors to push for pre-emptive and combative control. In the Gazan case, the transition, as well as local responses to it, are less pronounced and weeded through long-term colonial policies imposed by the occupation. That said, the transition to strawberry cultivation nevertheless carries a similar ecological, cultural, and socio-political impact. In place of the orange, the strawberry is surfacing as the symbol of Gaza, redrawing the boundaries of the identity of its besieged inhabitants. Whereas in the past the orange was a continuous link between Gaza and the rest of historic Palestine, with deep generational roots and a symbol of steadfast and continuous presence, the abrupt transition from oranges to strawberries distances Gaza from the constructed identity and vegetal knowledge production of Palestinian farmers elsewhere. Put differently, this symbolic and political transition at the level of fruit production can be seen as another mechanism through which Israeli neo-colonial violence reifies Gaza as an enclave: divided and partitioned from the rest of Palestine.

Shourideh C. Molavi, Environmental Warfare in Gaza: Colonial Violence and New Landscapes of Resistance

[punksocks]

Signs Your on the Right or Wrong Path:

(Check your Moon sign, Mars sign, Ascendant, and/or North Node)

(Also wrong path behaviors tend to fit underdeveloped energy, so you may recognize these behaviors in low vibrational people with these placements)

Right path:

-Aries: You feel energetic, you may start working out more/doing more physical activities, you’re going on new adventures, pure enthusiasm, you’ve got a lot of new prospects, you still charge into situations and sometimes arguments but you avoid constant fighting and long term grudges

-Taurus: You’re making money/feeling abundant, you’re feeling creative, feeling satisfied with physical comforts (perfect meals, great self care, etc), feeling stubborn still but in a reasonable grounded way with a bit of flexibility

-Gemini: You’re quick on your feet, constantly coming up with new ideas, you’re winning a lot of verbal sparring matches/debates, suddenly absorbing a lot of new information, feeling like you’re in an intellectually stimulating environment

-Cancer: Emotionally at ease, feeling protective without being defensive, feeling at home with whatever loved ones you’re around, peaceful nostalgia, comfort in your environment/home life, being nurturing without forcing it, feeling more fertile (as straightforward as pregnancy but as all encompassing as getting a lot of new ideas or being great at cooking or growing a garden that blossoms, etc)

-Leo: Gaining attention effortlessly, increased self confidence/charisma, more creativity, getting more compliments than usual, feeling empowered and like your gettting the right amount of attention and feedback on a regular basis

-Virgo: Great productivity, being seen as reliable and supportive and being appreciated for it, getting to cross items off your todo lists, -less- anxiety and overthinking/finding ways to soothe this, improved mental health, your hygnine and routine improve and flow better, being supported and given space to rest and relax when you need to

-Libra: increased charm/beauty (a glow up essentially), peace in your social life, increased romance, getting more compliments than usual, ease in making choices, generally feeling more balanced, feeling more creative

-Scorpio: Being around people/a person you can actually really trust, being allowed to open up in your own time, great intimacy with passion and payoff and all that, transformations come easy-like shedding a second skin, feeling rewarded with safety in exchange for the vulnerability you do show, depth and understanding even if it’s only with one or two people

-Sagittarius: constant stimulation and exciting adventures (big or small), growing understanding and philosophies, more opportunities to travel and good things coming from travel, more opportunities to learn about cultures outside of your own, increased optimism and luck

-Capricorn: making money/long term investments & projects starting to pay off, clear and healthy skin, getting money from random places, your new ideas work out better than expected, gaining recognition for your hard work, elevating to new heights/gaining promotions at work, being able to carve out your own path of progress

-Aquarius: embracing your uniqueness and being celebrated for it, one of a kind ideas, feeling innovative, feeling good will and participating in humanitarian efforts, getting involved with the local community, embracing chaos and being rewarded for it, losing the desire to fit in.

-Pisces: good dreams, fluidity in daydreams and reality, new sparks for your creativity coming from your subconscious/good spiritual efforts, heightened clarity, peace of mind and tranquility coming more naturally, understanding what you process subconsciously and trusting your intuition more

Wrong path:

-Aries: Feeling lethargic/losing energy after short bursts, headaches, restlessness, constantly being stalled when you try new things, constant fighting with everyone and anyone that never seems to end

-Taurus: You’re losing money/abundance, you’re feeling rushed, you’re overindulging/binging on comforts- none of your luxuries fill the void, every hill is a hill you’re willing to die on (feeling especially stubborn)

-Gemini: You’re bored, feeling stuck, you’re having issues communicating (suddenly stuttering or drawing blanks, for example, you could even lose your voice), trouble learning and thinking, feeling like no one around you can match your intelligence

-Cancer: constantly manipulating emotions around you/your emotions being constantly manipulated, toxic codependency on family/loved ones, chest pains, yearning for the past and dissatisfaction with the present, lack of care, lack of fertility

-Leo: attention starved and you have to beg for others to pay attention to you, back pains, feeling like you only get attention at the wrong times/for the wrong things, a lot of envy/jealousy, acting out in bratty/diva ways, partying too much

-Virgo: overthinking (like you’re always going to overthink, but when it’s bad you cannot stop overthinking), uncontrollable anxiety, stomach aches, a lot of busy work with very little progress, endless to-do lists, sudden forced changes to your consistency/routine, being used for support and this being thankless, insane levels of restlessness

-Libra: Loss of appeal (not being ugly but finding your charm and general appeal towards others works less than it usually does), being depressed/uninspired about your looks, feeling like all your connections are shallow/loss of romance, being surrounded by conflict, finding it impossible to make decisions, loss of creativity

-Scorpio: feeling like -something- is off and not being able to shake that feeling (something probably is off, trust your gut), feeling like you need to guard your secrets/yourself with your life, gossip and rumors about you coming from your inner circle, intimacy that doesn’t feel worth it, you or others trying to bar you from changing & transforming, shallow connections, repeating cycles of toxic behavior

-Sagittarius: Boredom/stagnancy, shutting down discussions/learning by being too blunt, close mindedness in general, feeling stuck or cagey, environments that lack cultural stimulation, sudden bouts of bad luck/things falling apart

-Capricorn: losing money/going over budget, business ventures failing, skin problems/breakouts, drowning in work but not being able to finish any of it, being stuck in toxic systems/patterns of behavior, being controlled/dominated, having your ambition capped/hitting a glass ceiling of some sort in your goals

-Aquarius: conformity/changing your identity or ideals to conform to others, feeling cold/too disconnected towards others (like seeing people as a problem to solve instead of individuals to help), calculating behavior in general, lack of ingenuity/out of the box ideas, being too rooted in the past/how things once were

-Pisces: nightmares, not being able to tell the difference between reality and daydreams, increased problems with mental illness, being triggered uncontrollably by your subconscious, dealing with more illusions and lies, creativity stalling, romanticizing your connections and the people around you (seeing depth where there is none or vice versa)

[contentloadingandstuff]

(NSFW) Perfect Match - Tighnari x Fem!Tighnarian!Reader

A/N: Here's the third fem reader post for the few that happen to be on this blog. It's been some time since I last wrote a fic like this, but it's always nice to have a switch of perspective. As usual, and especially with this one as fem reader is not my forte, I'd really appreciate any thoughts and feedback you might have. Enjoy! CW: Tighnari is a little feral, reader and Tighnari go into heat, the usual smut.

Tighnari is such a contrast. Daily, he's quiet, patient and gentle (unless the circumstances demand something more than words), but when the heat grows, he turns just a little bit feral with you. 

The reason? Simple - he loves you. Oh, yeah, and the hormones also play a part in melting his needy brain. 

You've been together for some time now and Tighnari's instincts gave you the tag of his mate and he acted accordingly long before really acknowledging this. And, speaking honestly, he doesn't mind acting a little instinctual as long as you're fine with it. 

Keeping you close and protecting you is what he is meant to do with you as his female. Tighnari frequently takes the initiative in simple, everyday matters. Need to get out of a crowd? He's already holding your hand and guiding you safely through the people to a quieter place. When cuddling in bed, he always shifts to be the big spoon, security your smaller, warm body in his hold, close - just as you should be. If there is any imminent danger, you'll quickly find yourself gently pushed back behind him by his arm.  

He'll get possessive at times too. When he notices any other male forest rangers eyeing you with the curiosity you've got accustomed too - ears and a tail as beautiful as yours draw attention, obviously - his hand will make its way to your hip and stay there. When it's the heat season, Tighnari will also get quite defensive with you. If anybody is as little as unkind to you, he will step in to get them off your back. With all this comes a little bit of obvious suspicion, but simple communication is always enough to ease his worries about any of the other men you’re colleagues or friends with. 

Does it all bother you? Oh, not at all! How could it when every inch of him just radiates this unexplainable male allure you can't get enough of? 

There's something fascinating about the way he carries himself that you can't quite explain. It's how decisive he is, it's in the unique tone of his voice, it's in his subtly dominant nature. Your eyes pick up seemingly trivial things that you can't help but marvel at. You love how strong he is, be that due to his Vision or just how he is - nothing makes you more excited than being picked up (and pinned down too!). He does this with such ease too…

Being a young hybrid, Tighnari has his needs that, if not satiated, make him grumpy and quite irritated. If you're not feeling like it, he'll understand - as any good partner should. Which doesn't mean he won't be disappointed, mind you. A horny Tighnari significantly increases your chances of stumbling upon him furiously stroking himself or hearing his needy moans in the night as he blows another unsatisfying load. 

Even though his hand was enough to keep his lust at bay, it was hardly satisfying. Luckily, the days of jerking the edge off are gone now. Why cum into a tissue when he can empty his balls inside you? Compared to his hand your fertile, warm and wet pussy feels like absolute heaven…

… And his fat, pulsating cock is the ideal extinguisher for the fire in your womb. Your hybrid nature leaves you just as prone to bursts of irresistible arousal as him. Your heat might be a single month at the start of the year, but living alongside a fellow tighnarian makes your brain buzz with hormones. 

Between the two of you, there's a simple rule - when you're horny, you fuck. He knows well that when his thoughts wander, there's no way of fighting them off. That's when he'll signal his needs to you. Looking at you with those smug bedroom eyes, for example, is a clear sign that Tighnari would like to see you on the bed head-down-ass-up in the immediate future. 

Usually, it's your smell that catches his attention. His sensitive nose can pick it up flawlessly each time. Your scent is gentle, with only the slightest hint of musk included in the mix. You'll find Tighnari cuddling especially tightly in the mornings or after physical activity when your pheromones are at their strongest. It won't take much time for his hands to wander and his cock to harden. 

His scent is the perfect moisturizer for your pussy, yes, but it's also a little bothersome. Because. It. Is. Everywhere. On the pillows, on the couch, on the chairs, inside every room from the bedroom down to even the closet. In the first two months of the year it's just straight up impossible to ignore it or distract yourself from your husband's pheromones. Sometimes you're wondering if your ancestors were idiotic enough to not breed by themselves,  forcing evolution into giving them this neuron activation upon catching a whiff of dick or pussy. 

For example, doing laundry is tricky to do without getting flustered or horny. Tighnari’s musk is, obviously, the strongest on his clothes. So whenever you pick up one of his shirts or boxers and your sensitive nose finds just how strong his smell is, you suddenly become flustered and very interested in what's under the pair he is wearing right now. 

Luckily for you, Tighnari is a good husband and will fuck his cute little wife senseless when she needs it, and you’re more than glad to return the favour when he is in need. It's a simple instinct. You're his mate, and he is yours. Your scents are impossible to ignore, sending the more primal parts of your brains a simple message - you're both young, beautiful, healthy and ready to breed. Around him, your pussy clenches at nothing, your womb longing to be filled with baby-making cum, and around you his balls ache from all the creamy, virile seed he is making for you. 

This awareness, awareness of you being ripe for the picking, makes you irresistible for him. 

Although Tighnari's cock might be average in size, what he lacks in length he makes up for in sex drive and pure ferocity. He can fuck fast and he can fuck hard. He won't be stopping himself from manhandling you - you'll surely be surprised by just how strong a male like him can be. Whatever playful resistance efforts you may make and regardless of how much force you put into them, Tighnari will just growl and pin you down every single time. 

Primal play always gets him hot and bothered. In bed, he's the natural lead. He's the hungry predator, and you're his cute little prey. Struggle all you can, but at the end there's no escape from a thorough breeding. His hybrid stamina lets him cum again and again with barely any downtime between powerful orgasms that fill your insides with warm cum. 

His go to position is prone bone. Having your smaller, feminine body pinned under his weight, your hands locked under his and your pretty mouth desperately biting the sheets as he forces his swollen knot in and out of you drives him positively feral. Doggy style is also quite fun. Grabbing your tail and pulling it away to reveal your tight little asshole and drenched pussy lips is extremely satisfying. Sometimes he grabs your head and pulls it back, thoroughly enjoying the sight of your long ears folding in submission. 

While he isn't too much into receiving oral, he won't ever pass up the opportunity to feast on your pussy. If you give him the chance to, you'll find Tighnari greedily lapping at your folds, drinking up your scent and arousal like a parched man. When you sit on his face, you'll have a nice view of his cock, swollen, twitchy and overflowing with precum, just waiting to nestle in between your warm lower lips. How can this sight make you anything but absolutely crazy for his dick? You'll often find yourself locked in a sixty-nine with both of you furiously licking each other with your rough tongues. If he couples it with a passionate fuck afterwards, you'll be lucky to have your pretty legs work in the morning. 

But it is in January and February when your lust really makes an appearance. These two months are usually taken out of the calendar for you two - being apart from each other during your heat after having tasted what having a mate feels like is torture. Not even the best toys can replace him - they won't ever mimic his warmth, his desperate and frustrated groans, his arms locking your body in place or his ears, trembling and folding from the pleasure as he breeds you. 

His instincts tell him to pump a litter or two into your womb, and he'll announce his needs to you, whether you decide to go through with it or not. A condom or a pill is an absolute must if you want to be safe - it's usually very difficult to keep yourself from letting the lust take full control. It's absolutely not because your pussy milks him and throbs so much, desperate to suck him in just that millimeter deeper and get absolutely pumped with his baby making milk and end up leg locking him. 

Mornings with Tighnari are always fun, regardless of the season. You'll sometimes wake up to the sensation of him rubbing his length along your ass, moaning your name softly into your ear and asking, begging to be let in. You usually let him - it's not like you're not guilty of blowing him awake either. Whoever is the “waker-up”, they can certainly expect a wonderful, lazy morning breeding.

Thanks for reading!

[fozmeadows]

TERFism really is just white beauty politics in a pseudo-feminist hat, because there's simply no escaping the fact that every concern-trolling argument TERFs make against transition, and particularly towards trans men, boils down to the worst thing you can be is an ugly woman, where "ugly" is code for "insufficiently young, white and/or traditionally feminine."

The ridiculing of trans women, for instance, centers disgust at the idea of anyone with traditionally "masculine" features attempting to pass as female, which - as has been well-documented by this point - frequently sees butch women, women of colour, older women, tall women, strong women, and any other woman who doesn't fit this dogwhistle standard of prettiness caught in the crossfire. Masculinity is incompatible with beauty, this logic goes, and all women must be beautiful. Ergo, the more masculine you appear, the less female you are. TERFs, of course, will try to deny their active participation in anything so ragingly unfeminist as policing women's bodies in pursuit of a narrow physical ideal, and yet, as the recent furor over Imane Khalif has roundly shown, this is exactly what they end up doing: an endless reinvention of new and shittier forms of phrenology to explain why this woman or that is not, in fact, really a woman.

Accepting trans women who don't, by conventional standards, pass, means accepting the femininity of women - both cis and trans - who diverge from these beauty standards: who have facial hair or receding hairlines, deep voices or big hands and feet, who are muscular or tall or strong-jawed, who are either incapable or undesirous of pregnancy, or one of a thousand other things we're told (despite the fact that humans are not a strongly dimorphic species) are exclusively masculine traits. But trans women who do pass engender a different terror: the fear that beauty is not an exclusively "feminine" inheritance, such that someone deemed a man might natively posses it and thereby render "real" feminine beauty somehow less special.

And then we have the scaremongering around trans men, which frequently presents as "concern" over, specifically, impressionable girls and young women being tricked into harming their healthy bodies by the nefarious Trans Cabal. That this same concern is never extended to adult women is the giveaway, because adult women are, by this reckoning, inherently less valuable, being neither as pretty nor as fertile as their younger counterparts. It's already too late to prevent their inevitable descent into the ugliness of ageing, and either they're parents already (in which case, their biological purpose has been served, thus rendering their identities past that point moot) or else have been written off as too old for childbearing anyway (which adds to their irrelevance).

Which makes it all the more ironic how many of the stated negatives of transition for trans men dovetails with things the cis female body normally does as it ages and/or postpartum. Long-term binding is decried for the way it causes the breasts to sag or deform and the nipples to enlarge, for instance, when this is exactly what happens as a consequence of pregnancy and breastfeeding. An increase in facial and body hair is common for post-menopausal women, let alone those with PCOS. Plenty of women naturally have deep voices, with many growing raspier regardless with age, while both ageing and childbirth inevitably alter the appearance of genitalia, sometimes radically. Even top surgery, the procedure most maligned as "butchery," has its cis analogues: not only for survivors of breast cancer or those who, due to genetic predisposition towards aggressive forms of it, opt for preventative mastectomies, but those who undergo breast reduction surgery, whether for cosmetic or health reasons - while some women, on yet a third hand, are natively flat-chested.

Taken together, then, what unifies the demonizing fear of trans women and the infantilizing dismissal of trans men by TERFs is an obsession with a specific, youth-and-Eurocentric-based notion of female beauty, where being deemed too masculine in either direction is the disqualifying factor. In TERFlandia, masculinity therefore becomes a synonym for ugliness: trans women can't shed it sufficiently to be counted at any age (unless they pass, which is a prospect too terrifying to countenance), while trans men must be stopped at all costs from embracing it (unless they're already old, in which case they no longer matter). Which is not to say that transphobia more broadly lacks for other avenues of attack; it's just that concern around trans bodies and the necessity of controlling them inevitably circles back to beauty, youth and fertility as the abiding hallmarks of womanhood, and as soon as you point this out, all the other arguments start to unravel.

[the-mortuary-witch]

WAYS TO CELEBRATE THE SABBATS

IMBOLC (CANDLEMAS)

Clean your home and space to welcome the coming of spring.

Bake a traditional Imbolc loaf of bread or other seasonal foods.

Use the colours white and yellow in your decorations and outfits.

Light a bonfire or light candles to represent the returning light.

Plant seeds or bulbs to symbolize the rebirth of nature.

Perform a ritual to honour the coming of spring and ask for protection and blessings.

Make a Brigid's cross or other handcrafted decorations with herbs and other natural materials.

Perform a blessing of your home and surroundings with holy water or smoke cleansing.

Set up an altar or sacred space to honour the Celtic goddess Brigid, associated with Imbolc.

Make Brigid's bed, a traditional ritual of placing straw under your bed to bring fertility and growth into your life.

Connect with nature and spend time outside to honour the changing season.

OSTARA (SPRING EQUINOX)

Participate in fertility rites and rituals to celebrate the coming of spring and the planting season.

Decorate your altar or sacred space with symbols of Ostara, such as eggs, bunnies, daffodils, and pastel colours.

Perform a spring cleaning of your home and life, releasing old habits and welcoming new beginnings.

Light a fire or light candles to honour the return of lighter, longer days.

Bake a traditional honey cake or other seasonal sweets to celebrate the sweetness of spring. 

Plant seeds or herbs for new growth and prosperity.

Go for a nature walk or hike to connect with the natural world.

Participate in an egg hunt or egg rolling, traditional Ostara games 

Perform a protection spell or ritual to honour the increasing light and longer days.

Practice self-care rituals to nourish and rejuvenate your mind and body.

BELTANE (MAY EVE)

Celebrate the fertility of the earth with bonfires and rituals honouring the fire god, Belenos.

Make a maypole and decorate it with colourful ribbons.

Participate in a maypole dance, a traditional celebration of fertility and joy.

Make a wish list and tie it to a tree on Beltane eve.

Collect flowers, especially May blossom or hawthorne flowers, and make a garland or crown to wear.

Create a flower crown or wear one made of wildflowers to honour the faery folk and fertility spirits.

Perform a ritual to bless your home and land for prosperity and protection.

Jump over the Beltane bonfires, symbolizing jumping over obstacles and embracing new beginnings.

Have a picnic or gathering with friends and family to celebrate the abundance and growth of the season.

Create a sacred space or altar for Beltane, decorat with flowers, herbs, and other nature-related objects.

Perform a cleansing ritual to rid yourself of negative energy and welcome the energy of new beginnings.

Make a bouquet of wildflowers or herbs, and hang it on your front door to welcome the spirits of Beltane.

Go for a walk in the woods or a natural setting and connect with the beauty and energy of the season.

LITHA (SUMMER SOLSTICE/MIDSUMMER)

Participate in a bonfires or lighting a sacred fire, celebrating the arrival of the longest day of the year.

Collect herbs and flowers, especially ones associated with the sun, such as calendula, yarrow, and St. John's wort, and make a solstice garland.

Perform a ritual to honour the sun and ask for protection and blessings.

Dance around the bonfire or engage in other traditions associated with the Summer Solstice, such as singing and drumming.

Have a solstice feast, filled with summer bounty, seasonal foods, and family.

Celebrate in the natural world, go for a walk, or have a picnic during the longest day.

Honour the Celtic goddess Litha, associated with the Summer Solstice. 

Start summer resolutions. 

Get your hands dirty and embrace the earth. Consider planting a vegetable garden for fall harvest or add to your flower garden to mark the occasion. 

LAMMAS (LUGHNASADH)

Baking bread. 

Crafting corn dolls. 

Pick wild flowers. 

Honour the earth and the cycles of nature. 

Perform Sun magick. 

Give thanks to the spirits and/or deities for the beginning of the harvest season. 

Collect and honour the first fruits of the harvest, such as grains, corn, and apples.

Perform a ritual to honour Lugh and thank the gods and goddesses for the harvest.

Hold a harvest festival or feast, sharing the bounty of the land with family and friends.

Make a Lughnasadh altar or shrine with symbols of the harvest, such as corn, grains, and apples.

Participate in a traditional Lughnasadh celebration, such as a harvest dance or ritual.

Collect herbs and plants for healing and protection, as Lughnasadh is traditionally a time for preparing for the winter months.

MABON (AUTUMN EQUINOX/FALL HARVEST)

Celebrate the balance between light and dark, and the onset of the harvest season.

Honour the Celtic god Mabon, associated with the Autumn Equinox.

Participate in a harvest celebration, collecting and honouring the fruits of the land.

Make a corn dolly or a straw figure as a reminder of the abundance of the harvest.

Perform a ritual to honour the balance of the seasons and thank the gods and goddesses for their blessings.

Spend time writing in your journal. You could reminisce about your summer experiences, reflect on the shifts you feel with the changing season, contemplate what you're ready to release, or express gratitude for the blessings in your life.

Participate in a nature walk or ceremony, taking time to connect with the natural world and the turning of the seasons.

Enjoy your favourite fall beverages. 

Make a gratitude list or write a gratitude letter, expressing your appreciation for the abundance and beauty of the harvest season.

Connect with nature. 

Bring the beauty of fall indoors by decorating your home with seasonal touches. 

Performing a gratitude or release ritual. 

SAMHAIN (ALL HALLOWS/FINAL HARVEST)

Carving pumpkins with friends. 

Relax and watch some horror movies. 

Treat yourself to sweets. 

Participate in a haunted house, hayride, or corn maze event.

Declutter/organize your home. 

Focus on letting go to make space for the new year. 

Collecting leaves. 

Bake treats that contain pumpkin. 

Creating a spooky, atmospheric decor for your home or workspace, such as cobwebs, faux spiders, and other creepy décor items.

Gathering friends and loved ones for a Samhain feast, feasting on symbolic foods like apples, pumpkin, or corn.

Visit a local pumpkin patch. 

Making personalized altar items and decorative pieces for your sacred space, such as witch jars, mandalas, sigils, symbols of the harvest, items associated with death, etc. 

Participating in a divination practice like tarot reading, scrying, or rune casting to gain insight and connect with the energy of the night.

Go to a harvest festival or carnival.

Hold a Samhain seance or mediumship session to contact the spirits of loved ones who have passed on.

Participate in a potluck dinner with witches and pagans, dressing in traditional Samhain garb.

RESPECTFULLY visit a graveyard. 

YULE (WINTER SOLSTICE/MIDWINTER)

Burn a Yule log. 

Make an evergreen Yule wreath.

Decorate a Yule tree. 

Make a Yule wish list or a Yule resolution, as Yule is a time of reflection and intention setting.

Practice Yule carol singing, participating in a community sing-along or carolling event.

Celebrate in candle light. 

Give back to nature. 

Exchange nature-based gifts. 

Host a feast for those you love with foods associated with Yule, such as: roast goose, Yule ham, nuts, berries, spices, squash, and potatoes. 

Eat or make/bake Yule ham, gingerbread, mulled wine, roast goose, spiced cakes, shortbread, snowball, caraway, ginger snaps, honey cakes or pastries, and biscuits. 

Eat or give sweets flavoured with nutmeg, cinnamon, ginger, or peppermint. 

Participate in the longest night of the year and prepare for the return of the light.

Honour deities associated with Yule, such as Odin, Baldur, Hel, Loki, Sol, Freyr, Njörðr with lights, candles, and bonfires.

Participate in a Yule spell or ritual, asking for blessings and protection for the coming year.

Decorate your home with evergreen boughs and wreaths, representing the evergreen nature of the sun and eternal life.

Host a Yule log ceremony. 

Participate in an outdoor activity, like sledding or ice skating, to honour the winter season.

[f4c4r]

Men are superior, why?

I don’t pretend to have all the answers, a Man could explain this so much better than I can, but this is how I understand it.

For thousands of years before agriculture humans had to go out and hunt for food. Even gathering is a type of hunting but it seems humans existed mostly on hunted meat. Because females would be pregnant or looking after little ones from an early age, it was not safe for us to go hunting. Young children could be left to be looked after by much older community members but there was no way to tell if a female was pregnant and a hunting accident could end her life or cause an abortion. It was just safer for females not to hunt and also meant she could be protecting what few possessions they had, that could not be taken on a hunt.

Men’s strength, ability to overpower, strategise, co-operate to bring down a large animal and defend from attack, His larger more powerful muscles are all given to Him to better do the tasks of protecting and feeding a family. These abilities are needed by females but nowhere near as much or as powerful as Men require them. For females, strategising, co-operation, strength, etc are required to help run a home, but in much smaller amounts. While strength might be needed to life heavy items it was only in short bursts. If she carried a heavy item it was only a few feet and not potentially for days.

Yes, we have power lifting females today who workout and train in order to have massive muscles – but there was no equivalent in pre-agricultural days. If the opportunity to build muscle beyond a certain size was not present in the home environment, it simply wasn’t going to happen. Just because it can be done today with artificial means that she has to go out of her way to acquire,(steroids, weight training, etc), does not mean it is natural or beneficial.

Once agriculture started females did more work in the fields or helping with crops than she did helping with hunting, but this still did not lead to greater strength or power that equalled Men. Such changes required need to happen to our DNA and that does not change readily or quickly. It takes multiple millennia to create tiny changes to DNA that would have any observable effect on the human body. It will take a period of time as long as humans have existed or more to see such changes – and there is no guarantee it will result in females gaining improvements to make us equal to Men.

Besides, such a change has zero effect on improving species survival and reproduction. We’ve done just fine up til now. There is an argument that could be made that females demanding to be treated as equals and doing the same jobs as Men has led to less human births, both from choice and increased infertility. Evolution only ‘cares’ about continuing the species – if there is more fertility and live births happening in communities who follow traditional ways where it is understood and practices that Men lead and females who are naturally inferior obey, doesn’t that point to an evolutionary advantage to Men being superior?

Men are superior to females because evolution made us that way. Nothing that has happened to humans in the entire history of human existence has changed that fact.

[asumofwords]

Treat - Ettore x Reader

Warnings: DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT, Somnophillia, rape, non-con, slight dub-con, masturbation, creepiness, sedation, assault, drugs, induced vomiting, blood, spitting, cum play, violence, degradation.

Pairings: Dark!Ettore x Reader  (It’s Ettore… come on)

Synopsis: The cold of space had nothing on the cool glare of Ettore, another inmate on the spacecraft you were sentenced to life on. At the mercy of the Doctor onboard, Dibs, all are a part of fertility experiments and used as test subjects. Said Doctor has increased your sedation dosage as part of the trials, what will happen when suspicions arise for the unusual things happening to your body?

Word Count: 6.1k

Notes: @targaryenrealnessdarling and @ewanmitchellcrumbs inspired this hedonistic fucking abomination by creating an obsession with a man I shouldn’t even like. This is DD:DNE territory, so you have been warned. I blame you both for making me so fucking feral for this man. Enjoy ;) <3

It was cold.

It’s not supposed to be cold, but it was. 

There was no way to keep out the chill of outer space. No way to keep the sub zero chill outside from seeping into metal ship you drifted in. No way to keep the unnatural of being in space away from your bones.

Your senses. 

There was heating, and it was warm enough inside for you to wear shorts and a shirt, some mandated clothing given to you, but even then, the artificial warmth couldn’t keep the chill from seeping into the walls or floors.

Or perhaps it was the chill of being watched. 

But you were always being watched, prisoner and a body for human experimental trials, or ‘guinea pigs’ as Boyse says, another inmate who hates being there just as much as you. She was sweet enough, but you kept her, like everyone else, at an arms length. 

Being put on the floating jail in space was a combination of a shit routine and being stuck with other not so great people. When you first arrived, you had kept to yourself, quiet, head down, methodical. You didn’t want trouble, you just wanted peace. And anything was better than the Super Max they had you in before back on Earth. 

So you were good.

Took your meds when told, took showers when commanded, ate and slept on the clock like a well trained pet. And sometimes, if you were feeling particularly inclined, which was more often than not, you found yourself in The Box. A crude space for you to go in and get out your ‘urges’.

'Fraternising' with the others was a big no no, but really, what were they going to do? Shoot you out the hull? You doubted it, and if you were honest, you didn’t care much either way.

You were going to die on this ship, lost in the same fucking routine for the rest of your days if you didn’t all go absolutely bat shit insane and cannibalise each other, which was a real fear Monte had whispered to you once.

Not much of a talker that one. 

But Ettore was worse. 

He barely even spoke a word. He just watched. 

Listened. 

Like he was sizing everyone up, writing invisible notes in his mind of who was who, and what was what. As though he was collecting intel from everyone like a secret government plant, or as though he was waiting to sell secrets, not that there really were any, all of you were there for crimes that warranted a life sentence. 

Death sentence in your case. 

And the way Ettore watched you, watched Boyse, or any of the other women on board, gave you an inkling as to what he may have done to deserve being locked up with the rest of you. 

But it didn’t stop you from being intrigued, nor casting an extra glance here or there to watch him. Pine over him even, bent over, shirtless scrubbing the floor, but what else were you to do? You hadn't been touched in months, maybe years, you couldn't tell how long it had been with no natural rise or set of the sun, and he wasn't bad on the eyes. Leaning against the wall of the hull, waiting for whoever it was in The Box to finish.

Because thats where he always was. 

The Box. 

You would say it bordered on slightly neurotic. Obsessive. Insatiable.

And it was the moments before he went in that really rivalled the chill of space.

His pale blue eyes would always find you.

Always.

And although it sent shivers down your spine in fear and disgust, it also settled a warmth within you too. 

It was hard. 

Not being able to touch anyone. 

Being surrounded by people, all day, all night, and not once having a chance to feel them. Hold them. Be with them. You had thought that perhaps Dibs would have at least let same sex interactions slide because there was no possible way for conception, but it was as if the bitch was edging herself. Or had some sick fetish of having everyone in a fucking cube strung out to shit in space. 

Not the smartest of moves to whoever gave this experiment the go ahead, but you had to give them props for their misplaced faith.

You padded down the hall, making your way to the Doctors office, ready to collect your meds; sleeping pills which knocked you flat on your ass about half an hour after ingesting them, and then go to bed.

You saw the door up ahead and sighed, it was not that you didn’t want to sleep, you just hated the idea of constantly being pumped with this shit.

Surely it wasn’t good for your body?

But then again, being in space and stuck where you were with no choice to go outside in fresh air, noting that there wasn’t any air outside the craft, wasn’t good for you either. 

Unnatural.

But it was all unnatural.

And in some ways, better than death row.

Sometimes.

Just as you moved to round the door, Ettore’s large body ducked beneath the frame, strolling right past you. His eyes flicked over your body quickly, predatorily, lashes blinking softly as he brushed past you and went on his way back to his cell. 

There was that cold again. 

It surrounded him like a wraith.

You slid into the room, Dibs barely sparing you a glance as you stood behind her, her long fingers fucking about on the table as she took her time to give you the meds you got from her at the same time, every fucking day. You thought that perhaps she may be a little more organised since all she did was sit around on her ass and be a prat.

But she wasn’t, and you waited, standing beside her as she swivelled in her stupid little chair to face you.

You had always had a pretty good read on people. Ever since you were young, you could spot the bad ones from the good, but it never really kept you away from the bad. Your ex's more bad than they were good.

It excited you, if you were going to be honest.

The rush of adrenaline, feeling of fear as your fight or flight would kick in when you looked at someone and just knew they had a more sinister part of them simmering beneath the surface.

And the moment you had spotted Ettore on the ship, being strapped in beside him, the alarm bells had rung in your head, blaring red DANGER behind your eyes. And you had felt the same fluttering in your chest as you felt his eyes on you the whole time.

But Dibs?

She was different.

There was something more malevolent than what meets the eye. Something that hid behind her dark gaze. And as you stood inside the make shift infirmary, doctors notes spread out on her table, shut curtains behind you, you felt as though perhaps you would have been safer stuck inside The Box with Ettore.

Dibs held out a small plastic cup to you, two pills inside.

Usually, it held one.

Your brows furrowed as you looked up at her.

"Changed dosage.” Was the only thing she offered you.

“Why?”

The Doctor blinked up at you with no answer, silence falling over you. You asked again, and were met with the same blank stare. And so you took the cup begrudgingly, snatching it from her hand and throwing the two little pills into the back of your mouth to dry swallow them. You could feel them catch on the back of your throat, sitting heavily like a lump, and so you swallowed once more to get them down. 

Dibs gave you a sterile smile, and turned away back to her notes, scribbling. 

You stomped away, walking back down the corridor to go to your cell, feeling the acidic, briny feeling on the back of your tongue.

No matter how many nights you had swallowed those things, it always made a bad taste settle in the back of your mouth, and a hollowness in your stomach.

When you had first arrived on the ship, you struggled to fall to sleep knowing that you were drifting in space, and couldn't get off even if you wanted, with the low hum of the ship in a constant drone keeping you alert, and so Dibs had given you sedatives to help you drift off.

There was already sedatives in the water Dibs gave you all, but the other girls in your cell followed suit soon enough, asking for the little pill so that they could sleep undisturbed in the night.

The closer you go to your room, the more your mind felt clouded, as though a thick layer of fog had crossed it, obscuring your thoughts and making each one feel as though they had been dipped inside a vat of molasses.

Even your limbs felt heavy, and so you hurried your uneven pace to your cell block, stumbling against a wall where you flopped down onto the bed, too exhausted to pull yourself beneath the sheets as the room around you spun. 

You could feel and hear the others making their way to their bunks after you, but your eyelids grew heavy, and soon enough, you were out like a light. As though a switch had been flicked by the manicured nails of Dibs.

There were no dreams to be had, not even an awareness of sleep, just a deep, black abyss that swallowed you whole and completely, with neither complaint nor fight from your limbs. 

When you woke the next morning, the first thing you noticed was how tired you still were, as though the medication still lingered in your periphery like dark little tendrils that rubbed smooth and soothing hands upon your mind, trying to lure you back.

But the day had to move on, and you were unstrapped from your bed, limbs feeling entirely too heavy to lift as you hauled yourself out. You didn't understand the need for the restraints, especially since you would be sedated and unable to move anyway, but you supposed they were there to keep you put in case you did.

Behavioural issues and that.

Who knows what the others had done to warrant a death row sentence. Yours certainly wasn't a light one.

The moment your feet hit the ground, your stomach lurched. Pain rippling up through your stomach. 

What the hell?

You rubbed your face blearily and sighed, chalking it up to your period making an appearance early this month, or perhaps Dibs' experiments had finally stuck, or were melting your insides by the feel of it.

Dibs was going to have a field day with you, you knew it. You would have your legs pried open by stirrups and have her shove a million and one swabs inside of you like she did every month.

Like clockwork.

Well, cycle really.

You hated it.

Another thing to add to the misery of it all; being prodded by a stone faced bitch who only showed kindness to the men on board. Couldn't even get off to the way she shoved those cotton swabs or fingers inside you, fishing around as if she was going through a pocket for spare change.

Except this pain was sharp, and stung, but was dulled by whatever lingering sleeping pill was dragging your body down. You would have to tell the eager Doctor to be more gentle about turkey basting you with whoever's cum she picked from her cups.

Boyse had told you once she could have sworn she saw Dibs dipping her fingers into the 'donation' cups to taste test each one. You had laughed so hard you cried, and Monte had eyed you from across the canteen.

You yawned and stretched, ignoring the ache and hit the showers with the others, beginning your day of chores.

Today you were cleaning, something you actually didn’t mind. It was methodical, time consuming, and there was a clear outcome at the end that you enjoyed. 

Cloth and cleaner in hand, you polished handles and doors and any surface that you could reach, wiping down the metal and other surfaces to sterilise them.

Boyse was on floor duty that day, and so she cleaned alongside you quietly, the occasional whisper or conversation had as you moved. But you truly struggled to hold one, your mind still muddled from the lurch of the changed dose.

You would need to speak about lowering said dosage back to normal with Dibs. This was like trying to think and exist when shitfaced at the pub.

God you missed the pub.

It was the little things you missed most. Things that you had taken for granted, like wind, or rain, or bugs. You missed the itch of being bitten. How fucked was that? Missing mosquitoes? Dibs needed to check your head rather than your fertility.

And so the day ended, and every surface in one wing of the ship was spotless thanks to yours and Boyse’s work. You ate alongside the others quietly and couldn’t help but feel that chill again, covering you in an icy blanket.

Lifting your head, you spotted Ettore watching you. 

Still.

Like those nature documentaries you used to watch, when the lions would be hidden in the tall grass, still as a rock, watching and waiting to pounce on the galloping gazelle.

Your mouth felt dry, and the hunger you had felt left, pain winding its way inside of you as you stood slowly, careful to not set anyone off, especially him, and moved to clear your plate to go to Dr. Dibs.

You were more eager to get away from Ettore’s piercing gaze than anything, feeling like a game of cat and mouse, waiting to turn your head and see him chasing after you down the halls. It set your skin alight.

But he didn't.

Your journey to speak to the doctor about your dosage was a waste. Dibs didn’t budge, and in your hand ,the small pill tub was dropped with two inside.

You watched her intently, mouth parted to argue.

“You done yet?” Ettore’s voice swallowed the artificial air in the room. 

Your head snapped to the door, watching as he slowly walked in, like a predator, looking at you intently. You blinked up at him, his lean form towering over you in the sterile cream room. You could smell the soft scent of generic soap you all used and the musky undertones of him beneath.

“I want my treat.” He spoke again, hand held out to Dibs, who placed a pill in his palm, no cup holding it. Simply placed into his palm with her fingers, as though there was an element of familiarity between the two. 

The cold of his gaze contrasted the warmth of his body as it loomed over you.

Dibs spun on her chair to look at you through her lashes, eyes dropping pointedly to the pills still un-swallowed in your cup, “Take them.”

You threw the pills into the back of your throat, locking eyes with Ettore as you dry swallowed them, holding back the grimace as they slid down the back of your throat roughly. Ettore followed, smacking his palm over his mouth as he swallowed his own, then turning his head to open his mouth in show to Dibs, who gave him a soft smile. 

“Smashing. Thank you.” He spoke down to her, accent thick on his tongue. His eyes flicked over you once more before he sauntered out the room.

Your feet felt stuck on the linoleum flooring until Dibs cleared her throat at you, “Go back to your cell.”

Taking her command, you left, winding down the corridor, falling onto your bed again and succumbing to the heavy sleep. 

This went on for days, the same dosage, the same medicated sedation, and the same groggy rising with a continued ache that never seemed to leave your core. You waited for the blood to come, but there was only the occasional bit of spotting. 

Perhaps a lighter cycle this month.

It wasn’t until that morning, when you went to the showers did you notice something was not right. Something that justified the inkling in the back of your mind that something was afoot with the pain that wracked your body.

That the pain wasn’t due to your monthly cycle, and something far more sinister instead.

Washing down with soap, the others in their cubicles beside you, your eyes were drawn to colour that should not be on the skin. Dark blotches of purples and blue, streaked with pinks across your hips and inner thighs. Your fingers pressed into them, hissing as pain shot up through you. But the pain wasn’t what made you blanch. It was the shape of them. And how your fingers fit perfectly within the large blooms of colour. 

Fingerprints. 

More specifically, finger marks, littered across your body. 

Your heart raced in your chest as you looked at them, horror and sickness skyrocketing inside of you. Bile rose in your throat, and the urge to scrub your skin raw became an immediate compulsion, your nails scratching at the bruises roughly. 

Dressing rapidly, you raced to the Doctors office, shoes not even on as your feet slapped on the floor loudly as you made your way down. But of course, whatever high power above controlled the fate that surrounded you had other plans for you, and your body collided with a body of steel. 

You neck craned up, meeting the icy glare of Ettore.

“Watch it.” He sneered down at you, hands at his sides in fists.

You didn’t know what to do but blink at him, and it was all you did, looking up at the man who set your skin alight, a blush creeping along your cheeks and fear shimmering down your spine.

“You gonna move?” He asked again, lips pulled into a sharp frown.

You took a step back, then another, and another, Ettore’s eyes grazing over your body, settling on your chest as it heaved, wet patches of your shirt sticking to your skin.

You swallowed thickly.

“Quiet one, huh.” Ettore mused, eyes becoming half hooded as he watched you, “They always scream the loudest.”

You sneered, watching as Ettore walked towards you, leaning his head down just a bit as he whispered to you, “I’ll be in The Box.” Before he was on his way, body swaying with his walk. 

Your heart leaped through your chest as you watched him.

-

“Somethings wrong.” You sat on the doctors bed, legs in stirrups as Dibs looked at you in annoyance, clinical eyes roving your body as you pulled your shorts high on your hips to display the bruises on your thighs. 

Dibs didn’t even blink at them, just glanced at them shortly before writing in her notes.

“Something is-“

“-Vitamin D deficiency, Iron deficiency.”

“Fuck you. It looks li-“

“Take these.” 

Her hand was held out to you, a small circular brown pill and an oblong pink one sat inside a medical cup. You blinked at her hand as she held them out to you.

“I don’t fucking-“

“-Take them. Or you will be marked as refusing treatment.”

Snatching the cup from her palm, your own nails scratching her hand, you threw them back into your mouth, staring at her angrily as you swallowed them.

“Good girl.” Dr. Dibs spun in her chair away from you and back to her desk, already looking through her notes in dismissal. 

You swung your legs out of the stirrups and sat on the edge of the bed looking at her, staring daggers into the back of her head. 

It could be so easy. 

Who would know it was you?

You could just-

“Are you refusing to leave now too? Very naughty of you. Monte will have to come deal with this behaviour, little birdy.” Came her slimy voice.

"Fuck you."

Grunting, you hopped off the bed and stormed out the room, muttering beneath your breath in agitation and anger as it poured out of you. 

"Fucking bitch."

Something was wrong, and you knew it. 

Fucking useless cunt.

You went back to your chores, but found that you could scarcely concentrate with the anger that seemed to mount within.

You needed a release, and fast. 

The Box was made for just such thing, and so you dropped the clippers in your palm in the garden and made your way to your destination. The anticipation of going into The Box made way for excitement over the anger, but all in all, it still rippled through you in waves.

All you needed was a good and rough fuck.

Get the anger out.

Your ex was always a good source of inspiration when inside The Box. The way his hips would snap into yours brutally, his teeth in your flesh, hands slapping, pinching.

Choking.

The Box would calm you down.

Your legs carried you down the ladder before you jumped down the last few impatiently, the light in this part of the ship far darker than the rest. You walked forward, looking at the closed door before feeling ice wash over you.

Who else would be waiting outside of it but Ettore.

His cool eyes flicked to yours as your steps slowed, looking to him and then the closed door. His lips pursed together into a pout and one corner pulled down into a smirk. 

Shit eating bastard.

He leant back against the steel wall of the hull, head turned to look down at you as you leant beside him. Too frustrated to turn back, and not willing to let him scare you out of a reprieve that you needed. 

“Gonna be waiting a while.” Ettore hummed, suggestive grin on his lips before he swiped a tongue against the front of his teeth noisily.

You looked him up and down, no mood for his attitude or creeping glares, “You look like it’d be quick.” You purred.

Ettore’s nostrils flared and his lips pulled down into a sneer, he pushed off of the wall, looking down at you as he adjusted his jaw, the muscles clenching tightly, blue eyes narrowed. 

Your head connected with the metal behind you as he jerked you back into it roughly, forearm pressed against the top of your chest. Pain bloomed in the back of your skull, but that didn’t stop the small mewl that escaped from your lips.

Ettore’s eyes widened before they narrowed, face looming in closer to you as he watched your chest rise and fall rapidly, heat blooming in your stomach. 

The door to The Box opened and Boyse stepped out, eyeing the two of you suspiciously. 

Ettore stepped back dropping his arm to his side as he spun around and entered, facing you as the doors began to close, his eyes roaming down your body slowly as he sucked his tongue. 

A shiver rolled through you.

Boyse watched you carefully, “You right?”

You cleared your throat, feeling your heart beat like a drum in your chest, “Yea, I’m alright. Asshole.”

Boyse nodded and left, and you waited for your turn, waiting for the door to open again, but it didn’t. 

The moments flew by and it almost felt as if he was taking his time because of your comment. Punishing you.

Proving a point.

Fucking cunt. 

You huffed and pushed away from the wall, making your way back to work again, knowing that dinner would be soon, and then the deep and dreamless sleep once more. 

Dinner was quick, and in no time you were walking down to collect your sedatives from the Doctor who made your skin crawl almost as badly as Ettore. Your mood had not improved, and you would say that the want that simmered inside of you made it even worse now that it had gone unattended.

When you entered the infirmary, Ettore was already there, talking quietly with Dibs who was seated, craning her neck up to look at him with a soft smile on her lips.

Fucking pick-me.

Upon hearing your arrival, both turned to face you, and Ettore instinctually held out his hand, a pill placed in its palm, before it put it in his mouth, his eyes on you, narrowed and almost angry. But when he looked down at the doctor, a soft smirk wound its way on his lips and he whispered a small ‘thank you’ to her, brushing past you with a sniff on his way out.

You held out your palm in the same manner he had, eyes still on the door Ettore had walked out of, feeling the plastic of the small cup being placed in the centre. You looked down at it.

Two sedatives.

"You're a fucking bitch, you know that?" You grumbled, and tilted your head back, letting the two pills roll onto your tongue, Dibs eyes watching. 

But there was something about it. 

Something about her watching you like that, that made you shiver. 

“Show me.” She commanded and you swallowed both dryly, opening your mouth and sticking out your tongue obscenely at her so that she could get a closer look.

The Doctor nodded and turned away, back to her notes. 

But fear scrambled in your throat.

You all but raced out of the office, making your way straight to the toilet, dropping to your knees in front of it as your instincts took over, shoving two fingers down your throat. You gagged quietly in the space, daring to not draw attention to what you were doing. 

You did it again, and the bile and bitter taste of stomach acid flooded your tongue. You bent over the rim gasping, looking down into the water to see if the pills were in the bowl with your dinner. 

You spotted one and collapsed down onto the floor feeling some sort of relief, though your stomach still turned, and bile coated your tongue. You sat there for a moment, feeling the cool of the bathroom floor on your thighs and hands before standing.

You couldn’t get caught. 

You flushed the toilet and brushed your teeth carefully, cupping water into your mouth to rinse the acidic taste that settled behind your teeth. And yet still, you were still wrought with nerves.

As you lay in your bed, bottom bunk opposite to Boyse, you stared up at the top one, the restraints strapping you down by your arms as the beginnings of sedated fatigue gnawed at your vision. 

So you had only gotten one pill out. 

No matter.

Better than both.

At least it calmed your heart, and you turned your head to look at Boyse who was already out like a light, the soft curve of her nose shadowed in the dim of the room.

You wondered what she was here for often, but never had the courage or want to learn. 

Some things are better left unsaid.

You tried to resist it, tried to fight the way your eyelashes sagged and your limbs fell heavier by the second, but in no time at all, you were sucked into the usual dreamless state that you had been in for god knows how long you had been on that goddamn ship.

-

It’s dark. 

So dark.

And warm. 

Soft pressing in the back of your mind, drawing you just below the surface of consciousness. 

Why was it so warm?

There was pressure. 

Pressure on top of you. 

Pressure inside of you.

A thing.

Or two.

Maybe three.

What?

The pressure turned to a dull ache. 

A pain.

Pleasure?

Why was it so warm?

It curled in your gut and you groaned, mind foggy, limbs of stone as you felt the weight of your body come back to you. Come back to the room. 

The bed.

Soft sheets.

Grunts.

Weight.

Warm. 

Pain in your thighs. Pain between them. Weight on top of you. 

Breaths in your ear that are not your own. 

Grunts.

Moans.

Hisses.

Eyelids feeling like lead as they fluttered, the sound around you louder, rustling, wet, clapping, breathing. 

The room spun on its axis, mind reeling as you were pulled from the depths of your sedated sleep, your body reacting to whatever was being done to it. 

It was hard.

Hard to stay awake.

You drifted again, bobbing beneath the surface only to rise back up again, eyelashes fluttering against your cheeks. Blurred vision making it hard to focus.

Heavy mind making it hard to comprehend.

Hard to see.

“Whas-“ You slurred, head being rocked backwards by movements, making the nausea that rose within stronger, barreling through you with a spearing sensation.

A loud grunt in your ear as the jolting of your body picked up. Something moving inside of you.

Atop you.

You could see movement above you, hair, a body.

A face.

Ettore.

You blinked, his sharp jawline coming into focus, comprehension wading through the thick fog of your mind as you continued to look up at him, mind reeling to figure out what was going on.

Eyes half lidded, lips pulled down into a sneer, Ettore rutted into you from above. 

“Wha-“

“Shut the fuck up.” He growled, hand slapping over your lips as he fucked into you. 

Your eyes widened, pain blooming through you, strength dulled, senses foggy, but knowing. 

Knowing. 

You knew now.

Ettore’s length fucked into you roughly, the tip beating against your cervix painfully. The stretch stung as he drilled into you, splitting you apart on his cock. Each thrust was just as brutal as the other, the sound of his hips clapping against yours loud in the cell of the others sedated, still in their dreams.

Was this a dream?

It felt too real. 

You writhed beneath him sluggishly, trying to get out of his grip, breathing heavily through your nose as his hand stayed pressed against your mouth, small whimpers and grunts spilling into his palm as his cock bullied your walls repeatedly.

Ettore watched your face, lips pulling up into a smile as he gave a particularly harsh thrust, your eyes scrunching shut in pain as you yelped, sensing you had come fully to the surface of consciousness to feel the truth of his assault.

Pain pinged up you, your walls clamping down on him as your hips tried to angle away from him, restraints cutting into the skin of your wrists, legs too heavy to lift. Tugging at them for dear life as he watched you struggle from below. He laughed, deep in his chest before a groan fell from his swollen lips, eyes closing in pleasure with his mouth hung open.

You tried to scream beneath him palm, to try and wake the others, to call for help, for anything. But the hand at your mouth did not budge, and so the muffled sound of your cries fell on sedated ears. Tears prickled in your eyes from the pain as you tried to shake your head away from him, mouth opening. 

You bit down on his palm.

Hard.

Ettore cursed, flinching as he pulled his hand away from your face, fist reeling back before it connected painfully into the side of your mouth.

You could taste blood. Coppery on your tongue, and you didn’t know if it was his or yours. Probably a mixture of the two. But your bite did not deter him, and his thrusts only became crueler, your body jolting beneath him as you felt wet beneath your hips. 

How long had he been doing this?

How many times had he done this?

But the wet was not just from the man above you. 

It also came from you.

Small sparks of pleasure wound its way up through your gut as he rutted into you in fervent, animalistic thrusts. Each one a sharp grunt or hiss falling from his lips. Each one, his tip bullying the soft and sponge spot within you. Each thrust winding the coil within tighter and tighter.

Ettore slapped your cheek, a small cry falling from your lips as you looked up at him, tears running down your cheeks as you sobbed quietly. 

From the pain. 

From the shock.

From the pleasure.

“Fuck you’re tight.” He growled, “Fucking dirty bitch.”

Another sob, mouth opened to cry out. 

His lips pursed, and warmth sprayed across your face, the wet of his spit landing across cheeks and lips, hand coming to grab your jaw painfully as he squeezed, the joints protesting with pops as he continued, no doubt bruises to be seen in the morning. 

Your walls fluttered around him, each snap of his hips grazing your swollen clit sending euphoria racing up your spine.

It was all too much. 

“Look at you.” He sneered at you meanly, “Gonna cum on my cock aren’t you? Feel you tightening up. Fuck. So fucking disgusting. Asking for it. Always looking at me with those fucking eyes. Take it.”

It was a peel of words that continued to fall from his lips, his hips stuttering as his pace faltered. 

He was near his end, and you were too. 

With two hands, he wrapped them around your neck, leaning his weight down on it as he fucked into you, black spots blooming in your vision as he cut off both air and blood supply. You wheezed beneath him, thrashing against the restraints, hands in fists as they rubbed the skin raw.

You felt light, airy as you looked up at him, the lead of your limbs lifting with the lack of oxygen, the angle he fucked you in having changed, and each rut of his hips jabbed against your G-spot violently.

“Take it, you fucking cunt.” He growled, your eyes fluttering shut as you began to feel weightless, beginning to drift back to your sleep. A nice sleep. Comfortable one. Soft and warm and-

You came violently, a silent cry ripped from your throat, eyes shooting open as you looked up at the man who bit his bottom lip roughly, eyebrows knotted together as he fucked you through it. 

The hands left your throat, gasp sucked into your lungs as you writhed beneath him, his thrusts pulling painful pleasure from you as his hips stuttered, one hand clawing at your hip, the other tugging your head back by your hair, exposing your neck to him. 

Ettore came with a grunt, head dipping down to bite into the sensitive skin in the crux of your shoulder, teeth piercing the skin as you whimpered below him.

Hot ropes of his cum filled your walls, his thrusts stilling as you felt him throb within you, teeth still in your neck that he lapped at with his tongue, breathing hotly through his nose against the skin.

Another tear fell down your cheek as you lay beneath him, staring up at the cool, darkened grey of the ceiling. Pain and pleasure swirling around each other hotly in your core and gut, walls still fluttering around him from your own release. 

You swallowed dryly, throat hoarse from where he choked you and wriggled beneath him, stirring his rest as he grunted into your neck, finally releasing the skin from his teeth. Small incisions and blooming bruise beginning to take its spot there, a dribble of blood leaking from where a crooked tooth pinched flesh between another.

He huffed above you as the world spun, slowly pulling out of you. You whimpered and half whined, feeling sensitive. Stinging pain and pleasure winding its way around your entrance.

Too much.

Ettore sat back on his haunches, cock softening in front of him as he looked down at you, fully naked. Your eyes roamed his body, muscular and lean all in one, watching you with lust filled eyes and hatred. 

Another tear dripped down your cheek as his eyes roamed down your body, to the torn shorts he had ripped to the side, watching as his spend leaked out of you. His hand shot out, scooping fingers through your folds as you hissed, playing with his cum and smearing it into your folds and along your thighs. 

Your heart pounded in your chest, nausea turning painfully in your stomach as he moved to loom over you, looking down at your tear streaked cheeks and the blood on your split lip, bits of his saliva dried on your face from where he had spat on you.

His lips pulled into a smirk, sticky fingers coming to smear themselves on your cheek as he pulled your shorts back into place, adjusting you roughly beneath him.

“Wasn’t too quick for you I hope.” He mocked, giving your face a rough tap before he stood, pulling on his pants and shirt as he looked down at you, chest heaving as you cried quietly, adrenaline pumping through you.

His eyebrows lifted on his face, grinning once he was dressed, grabbing your face in his hand and shaking it as he cooed at you.

“Good girl.” Another tap.

He left without another word, leaving you strapped to your bed, body aching and bruised as his cum leaked out of you, pooling wetly into the crotch of your shorts. You could still feel him inside you, thrusting atop you, his breath fanned in your ears. 

You sucked in a steeling breath, shaking in the restraints, skin raw and bleeding in some places where you tugged too hard, pulled too violently as you shook beneath him, pleasure exploding within. 

You didn't drift back to sleep, no matter how hard you tried, the sedative had worn off and adrenaline kept you alert. 

You simply laid in your bunk, in your cell, surrounded by people who were none the wiser to your attack, sleeping soundly in their own restrained cots as your eyes stayed to the doorway, waiting for him to return. 

Knowing that he would.

And not minding it either.

Thanks so much for reading along with me, if you wish to be added to any tag list please let me know :) Likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated ! <3

Taglist: @hiraethrhapsody @hogwarts1207 @notnormalthings-blog @iamavailablesstuff @youraverageaemondsimp @mochi-rose @bel-bottoms @sassypain @triscy @watercolorskyy @moonliightbabes @toodlesxcuddles @avataranne @tosiaf @bunnychuu @malfoytargaryen @tssf-imagines @qyburnsghost

[pregnancycounselors]

Find out the natural ways to increase fertility in women through yoga. Learn its emotional & physical benefits, when and how to do it safely. 

[neum6ns]

you guys wanted more, so you shall receive!! some of these r a little bit x reader bc how can i watch that perfect woman on my screen and not headcanon how she acts with her partner (especially after seeing the way she acts with sameer 🙃)

mkay one of my favourite headcanons is that this woman does NOT have a blood type (or her blood is EVERY type… idk how blood types work). my girl can give anyone a quick little at home blood transfusion!

i have to disappoint yall and say that none of the fan theory’s that vicky is still alive have convinced me. she was killed off from bad writing and i think we all need to slowly begin to accept that (unfortunately 😣). should she have been able to sense something was wrong the second butcher grabbed huggies shoulder? yes! should she have gone into defense mode since zoe was there and been on high alert anyway (especially because she didn’t 100% trust anyone other than hughie)? yes! we can even see in the background that victoria tells zoe to stand behind her, but alas she was still killed off 😒.

^ genuinely i think they had no idea what to do with victorias powers. she’s genuinely so overpowered and they dug themselves an even deeper hole by making her durability basically on-par with (or stronger than) translucents diamond skin.

on the episode where they are all on the farm (4x05) my girl should’ve been able to pop all of those stupid v-ed up animals and carried on with her day. but no, eric kripke again had no idea what to do with someone so powerful - the only thing she killed that episode was a chicken. a fucking chicken.

in this episode we really see just how well vicky is able to sense heartbeats and use her powers (contrary to tiktok fanboy beliefs) WITHOUT HER EYES!! ugh i love when the boys all slowly begin to realise their noses are bleeding and that vicky is there. this scene also shows that she knows who’s heartbeats are who’s, since she didn’t make stans nose bleed like she did everyone else’s!

okay back to the headcanons i got a little carried away there.

my favourite head canon is that when victoria got pregnant with zoe, she knew at the earliest point she could. she didn’t even need to take a pregnancy test. she could feel her body changing. i love that victorias powers are so connected to the human body - it’s such a huge contrast that she’s felt alone her whole life but to use her powers she needs someone else to use them!

^ (kinda to do with f!reader) also to do with pregnancy but she can change fertility and periods! she can definitely tell when someone’s period is coming, in my mind she can also help soothe cramps. she can increase (or decrease) fertility. using her powers like this are something that she strongly advises against and wouldn’t even do to herself. she thinks it’s wrong to interfere with the natural body (maybe she’ll give in at somepoint and ease your period cramps but she swears she’ll never do it again!)

i think i got a little carried away… these aren’t proofread so literally ignore if nothing makes sense HAHA. feel free to drop any vicky requests in my inbox!

[wraithlafitte]

heating pad - sam winchester

Summary: Sam takes care of you when you get your period for the first time in a long time.

CONTENT: talk of periods, feminine products, infertility. fluff! romantic tension!sam. sam is a sweet guy who does what you need without being embarrassed or you needing to ask.

Word count: 1k (est. reading time 7 mins.)

A/N: my first posted fic!

You get up from the rickety motel bed stiffly, cracking your back. You had been hunched over doing research on your laptop for hours, and it was time to take a break.

Sam looks up at you from the chair in the corner of the room, mouth quirked up in a smile. "You ok?"

"Yeah," you groan, massaging your lower back. "Still stiff from sleeping on the ground last week, I guess."

You feel a ghost pang of pain in your stomach and your hands move to the front to hold it. The pain feels oddly familiar....

"Fuck." You quickly walk into the bathroom and shut the door, plopping down on the toilet to check.

The red on the toilet paper confirms it. Your period has started. But how? You haven't gotten your period in years, and your doctor told you that you were sterile. He couldn't explain why, but you recalled a certain monster-fighting incident that had involved several deep blows to your abdomen.

"Hey, Y/N?" Sam calls through the door. "You ok in there?"

You redress yourself and yank open the door, looking royally pissed. Sam draws back a little but still looks concerned.

"My period started," you tell him grumpily. "And I don't have anything."

"Anything like wh- oh." Without hesitating, he says "Sit tight, okay? I'll go see if the motel's store has anything."

"Thanks," you groan, making your way back to the bed.

Within minutes, Sam returns with a small box of pads. "This is all they had," he says, tossing it to you.

You take them and go back to the bathroom to take care of it, emerging slightly less stressed-looking than before.

Sam rummages through one of his bags.

"What are you looking for?" you ask.

"This," he replies, triumphantly holding up a heating pad. "I keep it to help my back when it's sore from a fight. Thought you might need it."

You make your way to your own bag, pulling out your bottle of ibuprofen and tossing a couple in your mouth. "Yeah, thanks. I forgot how much period cramps hurt." You grimace, illustrating your point.

Sam beckons you to your bed, fluffing the pillows and plugging in the heating pad. You flop into the nest gratefully, allowing him to place the heating pad on your stomach.

"What do you mean, you forgot?" He looks at you quizzically. "Don't you get reminded every month?" He has a twinkle in his eye and you know he's teasing, but you frown, reminded of your own questions.

"That's the weird part, Sam." You cringe with another pang and sigh, leaning against the crappy headboard. "I haven't had my period for maybe five years minimum. I'm supposedly sterile."

"Huh," he says, joining you in your frown. "Hold on." A thought seems to occur to him and he gets up, returning to the chair where he had been reading. He picks up the book he had been reading and flips a few pages back, furrowing his brow as he scans the page.

"Aha! Knew it." Sam rushes back to your side, eager to share his findings. He sits beside you on the bed and holds out the book, which is open to a page about a familiar-looking flower.

"Remember that flower we found in the cave?" he asks, referencing your last hunt, which had taken you up a mountain in search of a creature that had been spotted by campers. You remember how it destroyed your tents and forced you to take shelter in a small cave.

"Yeah," you say slowly. "The one you said not to touch because it makes you aroused. The one witches use in love spells."

"Right," he says excitedly. "Well, I was reading about it because I was trying to see if that was its natural habitat, and I found something else. Apparently this flower doesn't just make you horny, its spores also increase fertility like, dramatically."

You squint at the place he's pointing at in the book. "So, theoretically, if it was mating season for these plants, and their spores were in the air, and I came into contact with them—"

"Inhaled them," Sam corrects. You crinkle your nose at the thought.

"Whatever. It can revive my ovaries?" you ask incredulously.

"Well, there's no actual evidence of this happening, at least not in the books I read. But I do know that witches use it in fertility spells as well." He snaps the book closed. "Mystery solved if you ask me."

You sigh dramatically, closing your eyes. "Just my luck." You stretch forward, groaning. "God, I'm stiff," you complain. "And my back aches from these stupid cramps."

"Here." Sam taps your back, prompting you to scoot forward a little. He moves to sit behind you, legs on either side of your hips, and begins gently massaging your lower back. "Feel okay?" he checks.

"Yes," you reply, groaning from the ache. "Thanks." You lean into him a little, relishing the feeling of his strong hands gently working out the knots in your back. He makes his way up and down, giving care and attention to all your sore muscles. When he reaches your neck, you wince and scrunch up.

"That tickles," you say, giggling involuntarily.

Sam laughs a little. "Sorry." His hands drop down to your waist, encircling you in a hug. He rests his chin on your shoulder. "Feel a little better?"

"Yeah, thanks." You smile contentedly.

Sam leans back against the pillows, taking you with him. His hand lands on your stomach, weighing down the heating pad so the heat permeates your skin more. The feeling of his warmth at your back also eases your pain a little bit. You settle into him comfortably and lay your hand over his, lacing your fingers between his.

You feel him smile into your hair.

"I'm sorry you're not feeling well, Y/N," he says, real sympathy in his voice. "Not fun to be sick on a hunt."

You turn your head to look up at him. His warm hazel eyes gaze down at you, and you swear you see a dash of affection in them.

"I think I'll be okay."

divider by @saradika

[seafoamreadings]

week of may 19th, 2024

these are written predominantly for the *rising* signs but they are also intuitively "channeled" enough that they should work for any dominant energy you have! (try your sun if you don't know rising, or more advanced readers can try moon, anywhere you have a stellium, etc and see what works best for you!)

aries: the increasing gemini vibes are a little more flirtatious and flippant than the preceding taurean vibes and this probably suits you well. just be careful that, with mars also in your sign, you're not getting too impulsive or wild.

taurus: that's about it for taurus season. the planets start to shuffle into neighboring gemini. but don't despair; the party is over but the material blessings continue to rain upon you, or they start if you haven't had them yet. it's like extra birthday gifts. jupiter there for the next long while blesses your finances too - assuming you're spending only responsibly. try not to overindulge.

gemini: the sun and the benefics light up your sign starting this week, in a parade of good vibes and good fortune. many wonderful things will come to you in the coming days and weeks, especially with jolly jupiter in the mix. just be advised that anything you've outgrown will leave forcefully if you don't part ways willingly.

cancerians: before a mass ingress into your 12th house there is a highly psychic, very dreamy jupiter-venus-neptune interaction at critical degrees. this can bless any travel you are planning, any long distance relationships, and your friendships overall. although neptune can be deceitful or at least illusive at times, the presence of the benefics make this a sort of magic that you can access easily and with mostly just good results. then prepare yourself to do some good shadow work once the 12th-house party starts!

leo: for everyone, the influx of gemini-ness is increased sociability and informational flow. for you especially, this is great for your networking and friendships. if you've been feeling a bit drab or lonely lately, this week brightens things up and puts you in places to be fawned over, if that's your thing, or at least appreciated if it's not so much.

virgo: a huge boost to your reputation can be intentionally kicked off from this week and then can coast on the momentum of jupiter in gemini for the next year or so. update your public image, get some nice photos done, shake the right people's hands... even if that makes your inner germophobe a bit squeamish. you can bring hand sanitizer.

libra: gemini season should be a blast for you and the social butterfly that you (at least sometimes) are. and jupiter in gemini for the next year-ish blesses any academic pursuits you wish to embark on, any long distance travel you've been dreaming of, and your spiritual life, if that's your cup of tea.

scorpio: a benevolent pileup in gemini is certainly one thing, possibly enhancing your intimate life or enriching any magical practice. but the overall tone of the week is underwritten by a pulsating, watery, psychic power. and you don't even have to really try to benefit from that. your natural charisma is just off the charts.

sagittarius: gemini season is always nice for you if you are the sort who can stand to be partnered up long-ish term. but starting from this week you have a good long jupiter transit of your 7th house as well. and this will bless such partnerships in really big ways. more temporary, venus there helps out too!

capricorn: if you're the type to do new year's resolutions it's a good time to take stock of how you've been doing regarding your routines, habits, and day-to-day life. honestly, even if you ignore the new year, this is a good time for it. and at any rate it's also a great time to rescue a pet !

aquarius: gemini season plus venus and jupiter in gemini is fun season for aquarians. jupiter in particular gives big fun, creative vibes to you for months to come. however, jupiter (and venus) in your 5th house can be *highly* fertile - you will be reaping what you sow, so it's a time to be a little bit careful what you wish for and also to have fun with some caution - otherwise it might go overboard in some way.

pisces: gemini season has most people feeling social and talky. for you it may be more of a homebody vibe. this is all well and good as long as you have made your home a sanctuary to rest and recharge in, and a place that you truly love.

[luvrrszn]

hello! i would like to request a miguel x f!reader that’s a little…out there.

basically, miguel and reader have been trying for a baby for whileeee. natural, in vitro, all that, but nothing has been working. it puts a strain on their relationship and they are about to give up until reader begs him that they try one more time, and that’s when they get their little one

a/n: i'm soooo sorry for taking so long with this request, i've just been in a horrible slump lately :' i hope the anon who requested sees this :) xx

infertility.

the atmosphere in your house is perpetually tense.

for the past two and a half years, miguel and you had been trying for a baby. the both of you had tried several different methods, and in excruciating detail.

when the simple process of unprotected sex failed to get you pregnant, the two of you began tracking your ovulation. the process of making love to have a child together became a somewhat tedious process. this was the first sign of strain on your marriage.

after trying for almost eight months, the two of you started looking into in vitro fertilisation, or IVF. you threw yourself into researching good doctors and clinics, spending all your free time looking at reviews on said clinics. miguel did the same. at some point, the only topic of conversation between the two of you was IVF: doctors, clinics, success rates. another sign of strain on your marriage. too determined to find a way to have a child, the two of you didn't realise how much of a toll it was taking on your marriage.

when several rounds of IVF did not work, and the bills were piling up, you made the decision to stop trying through IVF. you were heartbroken, knowing how much miguel wanted a child of his own. you were thrown into a spiral, feeling that you had disappointed miguel, that you had let him down in some way.

for the past two and a half years, you suffered multiple miscarriages, never successfully delivering a healthy baby.

you were heartbroken that despite your efforts to get pregnant, you seemed to fail every time. you were by no means old, you were still at the age where you were able to have children. but for some reason, you still weren't able to get pregnant.

as you stared at yet another set of negative pregnancy tests on the sink counter, you turned to look at miguel sitting on the toilet bowl cover, resting his head in his hands.

"i'm so sorry miguel." you whispered.

without a word, miguel stood up and stormed out of the bathroom, and out of the house.

you were sad, hurt, and angry. all for a multitude of reasons. you were sad that you had let miguel down. you were sad that despite trying to hard, all your efforts were to no avail. you were hurt that instead of comforting you and acknowledging that both of you shared the pain, miguel left you all alone. you were angry that miguel did not seem to care much about you anymore. all he cared about was making a baby. not making love, not fucking, just the monotonous process of making a baby. neither love and tenderness, nor passion and lust.

that night, you made up your mind to stand up for yourself.

when miguel returned, you were sitting at the dining table, nursing a hot cup of tea. tea which apparently increased fertility. what bullshit.

"nice of you to return." you said, taking a sip of your tea.

"what do you want from me?" miguel sighed, taking off his shoes.

"i want you to treat me like your wife again, miguel. i want you to treat me like a person. i'm not just here for you to try and make a baby. and how dare you walk out on me today? you're not the only one who's disappointed, you know?" when you finished your sentence, you felt your heart drop, something you thought wasn't physically possible.

as you blinked, tears ran down your face. you didn't move to wipe them off.

the silence spoke volumes.

miguel closed the space between the two of you. gently wiping the tears off your face, he said, "mi corazón, i'm so sorry. there is no excuse for the way i have been acting. i should have talked to you about it, and i should have been there for you. i hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me."

the emotions you had been suppressing for so long came crashing down on you all at once. you said nothing in response to miguel, sobbing in his arms. he rubbed gentle circles on your back, pressing light kisses to the side of your head.

that night, you fell asleep wrapped in miguel's arms for the first time in what felt like a decade.

—

a week after your "fight", you were still in a terrible space, physically and mentally. you were exhausted to say the least. the countless miscarriages and the numerous failed attempts at conceiving a child were all piling up and slamming into you like a truck.

you were lifeless, tired, and you had just about given up. you and miguel had tried everything, and nothing worked. you had come to accept the fact that maybe, just maybe there was no more point on trying. you just had to accept the cards you'd been dealt.

you were tired of trying and trying, only to be disappointed every single time. you were tired of feeling guilty, like you had let down miguel, like you had robbed him the opportunity of the happy family he'd always wanted.

you knew how much it meant to him, but you were simply too exhausted to bear the weight of the constant disappointment and guilt.

so, you made up your mind to talk to miguel. to ask him to just consider that maybe it was time to give up. and that was exactly what you did.

that night, when miguel returned home, you sat him down at the dining table, and told him that the two of you needed to have a talk.

"miguel, i'm tired. i know all you want is a family, but i don't think i can do this anymore. i'm grumpy all the time, i feel like shit, nothing we've tried is working."

"but—" miguel cut himself off, swallowing. you knew he was against it. but you decided to keep quiet and wait for him to express his opinions. after a pause, miguel continued, "okay. querida, i want you to know that you could never, ever disappoint me. i am so, so proud of you for soldiering on til this point. i love you so, so much. but would you consider trying one last time? tonight? please."

miguel looked so hopeful that even you had a spark of hope. seeing no harm in agreeing, you said yes.

that night, before miguel lead you into the bedroom, you prayed to every God, that the two of you would be blessed with a little bundle of joy.

—

in the weeks following your last attempt at conceiving a child, you decided to focus on yourself, and take better care of yourself.

you began eating healthier, going on walks, sleeping earlier. you did everything you could to start feeling like yourself again.

you did things like make smoothies in the morning, cook more meals, and even took up painting.

life was starting to return to normal, and you felt the best you'd felt in months, years even.

you did everything right.

which is why you and miguel were so concerned when you started feeling fatigued, when your body started aching. when your favourite foods started tasting unpleasant, when there was always a persisting metallic taste in your mouth.

so you went to the doctor, who brought you news you'd never thought you'd hear.

—

"well, mr and mrs o'hara, congratulations. mrs o'hara, all these symptoms you've been experiencing are all common symptoms of early stages of pregnancy." the doctor beamed as she shared the news.

you were shocked, to say the least. you turned to miguel, and saw a sparkle in his eye, right before he swiftly picked you up and spun you around as you let out a laugh.

you carried on with the rest of your day with a bounce in your step.

—

the nine months blew by quicker than you'd expected. you had maintained your healthy eating and lifestyle, making sure to keep fit. you took prenatal supplements and vitamins, and did everything you could to make sure that you would safely carry your little bean to term.

miguel had converted the guest room into a nursery, built a crib, painted the walls, he did everything.

before you knew it, your little bundle of joy, your baby girl, was in your arms, sleeping. (not without an excruciatingly long labour, nothing less you'd expect of an o'hara baby).

miguel spent all his time buying new thingsfor your baby, and hovering over you, making sure that the both of you were safe at any given moment.

the struggle with infertility had been long and challenging, but the arrival of your daughter made every tear, every heartache, and every moment of uncertainty and disappointment worth it.

[sagstelliums]

(Top to bottom) May prediction

Pile 1

I see that this month patience will be important, you could be having a hard time making a decision because you don’t want to settle. I see that you feel like you want to take your time with something you see potential in, you’re trusting that things will work out naturally. Signs- Sagittarius/taurus. Initials- T, E, D, X, R

Pile 2

I see that this month you may feel impatient or feel like you’re tired of repeating the same cycles, I see that a cycle is ending for you. You could be getting an increase in finances or something you want, I see that you’re getting a blessing or blessings and your mood will improve. Signs- Aquarius, Aries, Scorpio, Taurus. Initials- P, E, J, Y, I, Z

Pile 3

I see that this month you could feel a creative spark, you may have a few new ideas or an idea to start a new project. This month you may be extra fertile in more than one way so be careful, I see that there’s someone who will try to reach out to you through dreams or intuitive communication. I see that someone wants to have kids with you, something you’ve been in denial about will come to a conclusion. I see you learning more about yourself or understanding yourself more. Signs- Taurus/aries. Initials- C, D, G

Personal readings always available!

[thewitcheslibrary]

Beltane

The date of the holiday: 1st may

History: Beltane is derived from the Celtic term Baal or Bel, which meaning "Bright One." As farmers prepared to shift their livestock from winter pastures to summer grazing in the hills, they sought protection and abundance from the gods by starting fires and herding cattle through the flames to the summer grazing fields. This was thought to protect the herd from attack while also increasing fertility.

In more practical terms, these bonfires were most likely used to burn brush heaps and clear space for planting and pastureland. In the home, hearth fires were extinguished and replaced with flames from Beltane bonfires. People often walked the perimeters of their properties or towns to evoke additional protection for the next year. Yellow flowers were used to decorate doorways, windows, and even cattle during Beltane.

Like all of the Wheel of Year sabbat celebrations, Beltane was a time for merry making and feasting.  People would write a wish upon a ribbon and tie it a to a tree, in the hopes that the gods would grant them.  Hawthorn, ash, thorn and sycamore trees were believed to be the best trees for making wishes.   

Dew gathered on Beltane was thought to have special properties for increased beauty and youthfulness. 

Beltane and sexuality- SLIGHT NSFW WARNING!

Part of Celtic Beltane beliefs revolved around the holy union of the God and Goddess, which people celebrated by having sex on Beltane. Usually outside, to further connect with nature. Children conceived at Beltane (and hence born at Imbolc) were regarded to belong to the Goddess, and were commonly referred to as'merry-be-gots', with a particular tie to the faerie world. Beltane, like Samhain, was a period when the curtain between the worlds became thinner, allowing ghosts to pass through. Unlike Samhain, the visiting ghosts were not looking for a feast or a quick chat with relatives. The spirits of Beltane were considered to be seeking reincarnation or sexual intercourse.

The topic of sexuality runs throughout Beltane. The Maypole, which maidens usually adorn and celebrate, is a phallic emblem signifying masculine strength, whereas the cauldron represents female power. Women who desired to produce a child would start a small fire, place the cauldron on it, and then leap over it.

To go Maying, or picking flowers and other flora in adjacent woodlands, was associated with casual sex in the woods. There was no stigma connected with out-of-wedlock marriage, and hand-fasting was prevalent, in which two individuals bonded together for a year and a day. Beltane activities such as the Maypole were forbidden by the Puritans in parts of Great Britain in the 17th century, owing in part to their overt sexuality.

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Symbols of beltane-

Colors:  White, dark green, red 

Foods:  Dairy foods, honey, oats, mead, lamb  

Stones:  Sapphire, blood stone, emerald, orange carnelian, rose quartz  

Symbols:  Goat, honeybee, cown, fairies, pegasus, rabbits, flower crown, maypole, basket  

Flowers & Plants: Primrose, lilac, hawthorn, birch, Rosemary, Ivy, woodruff, rowan, violet, alfalfa, cedar, peppermint lavendar 

Deities: Aphrodite, Artemis, Freya, Rhiannon, Apollo, Bel/Belnos, The Great Horned God, BÓand/Boann 

Setting intentions during this time-

Beltane has traditionally been a fertility celebration. However, if you don't have infants in mind, that's OK! Beltane is an excellent opportunity to reflect on creativity and success. Beltane is the moment to follow through on your objectives from Imbolc and Ostara. Perhaps you've been thinking about launching a company; Beltane is the time to set an appointment with the bank and inquire about finance. Perhaps you've been writing a book and now it's time to contact publishers or locate an agent. Beltane, with its promise of harvest and fruitfulness, is a time to take inspired action and be confident.

Ways to celebrate-

Chose one of the deities listed above and honour them in some way, yes even if you dont work with them. You can still celebrate them and wear or do things associated with them, just do so respectfully! Eat some of the foods associated with beltane! Even if you just eat a bowl of oats with honey for breakfast, its a good and simple way to celebrate. And its perfect if you can't openly celebrate, it just looks like your enjoying some food. You could also drink peppermint tea!

Wear some of the colours and carry the stones and gems around with you during this day. You can incorporate both colour magic and crystal magic by doing this and is also just easy to hide and do subtly! - everyone wears clothes (hopefully) and you can just say you are collecting rocks and crystals because you find them cool! - Flower crowns can be incorporated into outfits too.

Buy flowers or make a bouquet with the flowers associated with the holiday! They will make your space or altar look colourful, and flowers are pretty. This isnt as easy to hide, but if people do ask you can tell them you just liked them and treated yourself!

Set aside time for some self care - treat yourself to a special meal, music, aromas - whatever make you feel special!- with this you could use the plants, herbs, crystals, candles in the colours associated with them and some drawn symbols and put together a ritual bath! - bit of a clean up after but again its somewhat easy to hide

some less subtle way to celebrate.

Hold a bonfire for family and friends 

Take action on a project you’ve been working on 

Decorate a tree with colorful ribbons that represent your wishes for the coming year 

Make flower crowns 

Walk your property and give thanks and ask for protection in the coming year 

Decorate your home yellow flower wreaths, bouquets or garlands