#nat vibes

[letsgethaunted]

Be honest, you already knew i was gonna do this.

[enthyrea]

dagger version of this post!! olympic au!!🥇

tried to match their characters/body types to appropriate sports <33

rooster as a fencer, hangman as an equestrian, coyote and hondo as track&field (sprinter and shot put), phoenix and bob as shooters, fanboy as a skateboarder, and payback as a judoka!

[moonlightmagical]

i too would like to only be known as the guy who yelled “POLICE STATE!” in the face of school wide surveillance

[burninblood]

hey hey hey have you heard this powercouple is back together in the comics?

[night-the-starfish]

Heron in flight, pencil and newspaper cutout

[beguilingcorpse]

made my own blorbo bingo so RB TO BE SENT SOME CHARACTERS!!!

[letsgethaunted]

POSSUMS STAND UP

[mamaspidershit]

Peter: Why can’t you just say phrases correctly?! Natasha: Well, aren’t you just a ray of sunscreen.

[g3othermal3scapism]

hc after they start dating syd mentions she wants a dog and carmy tells her its a waste of money but after she gets one he comes over to play with it so much that it basically becomes their shared dog

[inthissilence-ibeliev3]

Life lately

[nateezfics]

if i could ever get myself to really lock in and actually write all the fic ideas/requests i have, i’d be unstoppable.

[pzyii]

Maybe .. don’t climb the windows when they’re still unfixed

[babybison]

two worlds - official teaser

[night-the-starfish]

The Summer Sky a paper craft

[beguilingcorpse]

“i had one rule,” said god, who in this scene is playing the role of the First Ever Disappointed Parent. “one.”

and the no-longer-naked man said, “okay. well. maybe it was a dumb rule to start with.”

and his wife said, “didn’t you know we were going to do this? isn’t that, like, your whole thing?”

god sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose (he was very good at his part). “yeah, but not without outside influence. who told you? was it monkey? goose?”

“snake.”

“snake??”

“yeah, like.” the man put his arms to his sides and wiggled. “sssssss. that guy.”

“no, i - i know who snake is, thank you. he gave you the fruit?”

“no, she gave me the fruit.” the man was talking about his wife, who shot him the First Ever Dirty Look before turning back to god.

“and the snake didn’t give it to me.” she raised her chin and crossed her arms over her newly-clothed chest. “i took it.”

“but why???”

she shrugged. “hungry.”

“but. but i gave you food. i gave you literally all of the food.”

“not all,” said the man, raising one finger at god. “not this food.”

“yeah. hey, yeah! you said that if we ate it, we would die!” 

“okay. yes. i did say that. what’s your point?”

the man looked at god. and then at the woman. and then down at himself. and then back at god.

“okay,” god said. “i do see your point.”

“and the snake said we wouldn’t die. i said, but won’t we die though? and he said, nuh uh.”

“and you believed him?????”

“you lied!!!”

“no! no, i did not lie! i am god! why would i lie!” “i don’t know! god reasons, probably!”

“same reason you made us naked, i guess,” chimed in the man, who was wearing more clothes than the woman, mostly because he was cold. “you know, god shit.”

“don’t say shit to god,” his wife chided quietly, and then louder: “but yeah. you did lie.”

“i did not lie.” god dragged a hand down his face. “but i guess, maybe - MAYBE - i could have been clearer.”

“what do you mean, CLEARER.”

“it was a metaphor. i was talking about eternal life.”

“um, actually,” said the man, and god saw the next tens of thousands of years of that statement’s use, and groaned. “our lives are eternal. we can’t die, silly.”

god hissed in a bad news breath.

“ah, fuck,” said the man.

“dude. that’s still god.”

“no, it’s cool. i mean, that’s definitely still bad, but it’s, like, not the worst thing you’ve done today.” god waved his hand. “it’s a rough sitch. i can make an exception for fuck.”

“cool. fuck.”

“more bad news. that was not snake. that was satan. he’s bad.”

“ah. fuck.”

“and i have to evict you.” god rubbed the back of his neck. “like, both of you. forever.”

“fuck!” said the woman. “where are we supposed to go?”

“i don’t know. around? i made some other stuff out there. you can go live with that i guess, but most of it’s still pretty work in progress.” god shrugged. “you can beta test it for me. i have this guy called scorpion and i want to see what you guys think of him. he sucks. i think you’ll probably like him.”

“but...” the man sniffled. “but can we come back???”

“uh, no.” god thought about it. “i mean, yes. but not you.”

“is this a metaphor again?” asked the woman, with a wrinkled nose. 

“it’s all a metaphor.” god had just invented metaphor. he was really into it back then. “like, this is all a metaphor. and maybe it always will be. i don’t know. i’m improvising.”

“fuck.”

“okay, that was the last one.” god checked his watch. “you should probably go. some of these guys are going to want to kill you now, so like. that might be bad for you. we’ll see. no one’s ever got killed before.”

“i want to get killed,” said the man, like the toddler he never was.

“no. you don’t.” 

“but what did we gain?” asked the woman finally, as she was packing up her things to leave. “from the fruit? what was it for?”

god got a faraway, wise look in his eyes. “knowledge of good and evil,” he said wistfully.

“aw, fuck,” said the woman. “was that just to make us feel bad about breaking your one rule?”

“no,” said god, but he was speaking in metaphor again. “and i said you couldn’t say that anymore.”

“i know. and i knew it was bad.” the woman winked. “and i did it anyways.”

“oh, dip.” the man looked at his wife, and then at god. “is she going to kill me?”

“nah,” said god. “neither of you get murdered.”

“but someone does?”

god thought of the First Ever Murder Victim, and he didn’t even have to say anything for the man and the woman to know it was going to suck. 

“well,” said the man. “okay. bye, i guess. will you be okay out here all by yourself?”

and god, who knew everything, said “i mean, probably?” 

because he knew that this was just the opening scene, and he knew better than anyone that you just cannot account for human stubbornness.