#narcissist 101

[contentment-of-cats]

Understanding the narcissist's war dance

Humans are social animals, and we socialize happily for the most part. Narcissists are predatory humans who view other humans either as prey or competition, sometimes both, For instance, in 2009 my then-employer went under and I needed some gigs to keep things afloat until I could find another job. I picked up a writing gig, which leg to other gigs, and I am still writing to this day.

In the shock of becoming unemployed after 12 years, I made a horrible mistake. I told my mother who saw this not as a chance to support and encourage her daughter, but a chance to get things her way.

Now, mind, I had worked for my mother - I created her website from scratch in 2006 (for free) and maintained it (for free) until she lost interest in something that wasn't giving her the adulation she wanted. It was a popular site, just not popular enough. Her vitriol against those in the same silo was considerable. She didn't want to be part of a community, she wanted to show up with a pedestal, stand on it, and be given her due. She was a shitty boss, and ultimately I told her to find someone else to handle it, as I was working full-time and wanted my time off to be just that.

She started one of many campaigns to get me to move in with her. It was waged in typical narc fashion. I'd be talking to her normally, and the next thing she'd be screaming, accusing, fake-crying. The next tactic was a barrage of emails and mailed letters. She'd have people call and email me for her, people I didn't even freaking KNOW.

All of this was what I came to call my mother's war dance. In nature, a stoat or other weasel will do a war dance to frighten and confuse it's prey. Say, a rabbit. It will do this:

Small, short, frequent attacks to wear down the prey.

And strange, crazy dances.

We social animals freeze in confusion and fear. This is not normal behavior. The narcissist is counting on this. Frozen animals are easy prey, and the ones that run or freeze will do nothing to help. It's a survival mechanism - as long as it's not you. Overcoming those deep ancient brain emotions is like an arm-wrestling match with yourself.

It's hard to get away from a narc, harder still to stay away. I resisted, found a new job, and kept up with the writing. Extra income was good, and I could crank it out. Well, she found out in 2012. I was doing something she had always prided herself on, been well-paid to do and facilitate. And she could not stand it. She demanded to know who I wrote for, she wanted to talk to them. I refused to say. When I came to visit, I caught her trying to crack my password on my laptop, and she unloaded on me - I walked out.

Narcissists want the prey to freeze. When you don't, when you push back, won't give them what they want, refuse to be a rabbit, refuse to run, then they will go to full attack. The people around you will run, hunker down, become flying monkeys, and fighting back is hard. They use people against you, and we social animals can give in. It's easier to become prey or run.

My technique:

So, think about the level of Cluster B that you can live with. Think about whether you need to run (no shame in that, Narcs can be terrifying). Think about how much of yourself you are willing to give up in order not to be torn to pieces, and then get ready to give up one piece at a time until all that's left is bones. Or hope that the narc will be satisfied after a few mouthfuls and let you limp away - bleeding, wounded, and living with the scars for the rest of your life.

Coming soon, more Narc 101.

[contentment-of-cats]

This is literally this post below.

The amount of projection is amazing. Everything she is accusing others of doing is shit she did to Drac, to Bee, and who knows how many other people. She might as well have stick her name on it, it's just like the ones she's posted on her blog. IMHO, the mysterious anons are@cordelliaperry talking to herself.

A small sample below including doxxing, outing, lying

When accused of outing Drac, resorted to 'oh, somebody else sent me the pic.' Drac and Bee are her scapegoats, she tried to make Jade a scapegoat.

If I post about all the bullshit @cordeliaperry has pulled, I will be here until Labor Day, and I have enough to keep me going until then.

Hello, my name is Draculard. I create whisper campaigns against authors I don’t like, cry wolf about harassment and stalking, and watch with glee as fellow fanfic authors get dogpiled due to my lies. I cry and whine about getting mean anons, even though my lies have caused other people to drop out of fandoms, stop writing altogether, get stalked and doxxed by my flying monkeys, and caused more mental pain and anguish than I’ll ever be worth. I am a toxic person, have zero friends irl, and have failed at every single thing I’ve ever tried to accomplish, hence the morbid insecurity and jealousy.

-

[a-v-j]

A-V-J. What does this mean.

What do you mean anymore? Why are you insinuating he had one in the first place-

Averse can't answer right now lol so anyways!

Well before Averse is, well, Averse he was Cor.

And we all know Cor is a horny sexy bastard that had parts of sexual function

But

So that means Averse deleted all his character development including all those..*ahem*..parts out of his system, rendering him physically unable to have sex anymore because fuck that

[grits-galraisedinthesouth]

Before the jam scam was revealed, last week Ibble Dibble shared a helpful "Branding 101" vlog for the Duchess: "Meghan's Flop-tastic Flaws" that will prevent her from becoming a successful all American sociopathic CEO:

High visibility

Ugly clothes

Unsavory behavior

Part 2: lack of connections & misguided snobbery

[oftenvlogs]

How do you know if you love someone?

How do you know if you love someone?

Love is a complex emotion that can be difficult to define. It often involves a deep connection between two people and can be experienced in many different ways. It can be a feeling of warmth, joy, and comfort, but it can also be a source of pain and sadness. Love is often considered a powerful emotion, and it can have a profound impact on our lives. It can make us feel alive, bring us joy and…

[gonzo-rella]

Headcanons: Starting Your Freshman Year at Greendale and Joining the Study Group

MASTERLIST | AO3 | KO-FI

Requested by: Anon

Headcanons for being a new freshman at Greendale and becoming a member of the study group?

Ohh sorry i didn’t clarify! it doesn’t matter to me, i just liked the idea of the reader kinda being the baby of the group, so maybe everyone is in their later years at greendale?

Relationship(s): The Study Group (Jeff, Britta, Annie, Troy, Abed, Shirley and Pierce) x gn!reader (platonic)

Warnings: References to underage drinking. (Let me know if I need to add any)

(A/N: I started writing this literal years ago, but I rewatched the Community Christmas episodes today and it’s made me want to rewatch all of Community and start writing for it again. Not enough people write for it, and not enough people write gender-neutral-reader fics. This was like 90% done so it was a good place to start again. I went with making it so the reader joins the Study Group during season 3, since I had the idea of using the reader to replace Todd in the episode where none of them want to work with him. I haven’t followed the canon of season 3 verbatim, since it’d have made writing this kinda difficult (plus I haven’t seen season 3 in years). So, this is more general. I’m hoping to work through my list of Community requests from years ago throughout 2024, since I’m hoping to get more into the habit of putting aside time for writing.)

When you decided on taking Biology 101 during your first semester at Greendale, you were bound to learn of (and witness first hand) the notorious Study Group.

Your hope that you wouldn’t be roped into their borderline-narcissistic antics was killed when you were given Pierce Hawthorne as your lab partner.

To say he was annoyed would be an understatement.

Oh boy, did he make it known that he abhorred having to be your lab partner.

In fact, most of them seemed to hate the idea of being stuck as your partner, which was at least a little hurtful.

When Abed rearranged the lab partner pairings based on some mental computer wizardry, you got put with Jeff, who was a bit more subtle with his annoyance.

You spent most of that night standing there awkwardly while Shirley cried about being the least popular member of the Study Group, or trying to be some kind of mediator between these friends who you knew only from rumours and observing them.

You also had to rescue a turtle from being burned alive by Britta, which sent you over the edge into a fit of fury.

Annie was the one who apologised to you for everything, and, much to the chagrin of everyone else, invited you to join the study group.

Perhaps she didn’t expect you to take her up on the offer, but you did anyway.

Your first study session with them made them realise that you fit in well with the group.

Even Abed liked your presence, because he believed it ‘changed the status quo without being like when sitcoms add a kid character in a desperate attempt to boost the ratings’.

(He compared you to Frasier from Cheers)

For a while, though, you did feel a little isolated from the group, considering you were often the only one to comment negatively on the group’s questionable behaviour, which they saw as perfectly normal.

However, you adjusted to being in the group alarmingly fast, to the point of getting carried away in the Study Group mentality like the rest of them.

As the baby of the group, you were treated as such, despite being at least a bit more mature than Troy and Abed.

For example, if Jeff and Britta were in the middle of a heated discussion, you’d be told to ‘stay out of it’.

Abed, early on, would analyse you to figure out how exactly you fit into the group, such as deciding what archetype best describes you.

There’s also a chance that he would create and manipulate situations in order to test your personality.

Jeff would shut this down as soon as he figured out what Abed was doing.

In an effort to try and include you more, Annie would force each member of the Study Group to do an activity with you. 

Annie invited you to a one-on-one study session.

(Also, if you’re taking any classes that she took in her first or second year, she’ll lend you her old materials, like notes, textbooks, study cards etc.)

Shirley took you to the mall with her and her kids, treating you like one of her own kids.

Troy and Abed introduced you to Inspector Spacetime, which you quickly became a big fan of.

(Watching it became a Saturday night ritual for the three of you)

Britta brought you along to a protest which ended in the both of you in jail.

(An irritated Jeff would have to come bail you both out, and Britta would beg him not to say anything about it to Shirley or Annie)

Pierce gave you $1000 to tell Annie that he’d taken you to the zoo.

Jeff invited you over to his apartment for beers, which resulted in you both getting wasted and having a tearful heart-to-heart with one another.

Despite adopting the Study Group mentality to a certain degree, you would be the least susceptible to the group’s dumbassery due to joining so late, which meant you’d often be the one to pull the group out of the stupid shit they were doing.

At the very least, you’d pull Jeff out of it, and he’d take the lead and sort out everyone else.

If you weren’t that close to your family, you’d probably spend holidays over at Shirley’s upon her insistence.

(I love love love the idea that she makes a custom Christmas stocking for you the first year you come over)

In a weird way, the Study Group became your family, albeit a dysfunctional one.

After your friends all graduated, you stayed in touch with most of them, even before you were reunited because of the Save Greendale Committee.

It’s safe to say that, even if you do join late, you’re still accepted as one of them, for better or for worse.

[theyvegotsomuchtowhisperabout]

This makes me want a fic where Mammon trains Chrome in the most narcissistic way possible (à la Yamamoto and Squalo's 101 DVDs) while grumbling half heartedly about not getting paid.

[prince-liest]

Omg, I just wanted to say I ADORE your characterization of Al and Vox! I don't even have the words to express how much I love reading your stuff, especially the Anon responses you post on here. The behind the scenes thoughts are literally my food, lifesource, its so good when people not only write characters IN CHARACTER, but also include stuff about their analysis/understanding of the character too.. I'm literally obsessed with breaking down characters and yk, cracking their chrome domes open to see how they work (which admittedly, I am not the best at <_< but I love reading them). Just wanted to say how much I love your writing. I had maybe 2 questions, please don't feel pressured to answer them :>

What in your mind (in reference to the 66.6 fics) would motivate Alastor to let Val get close to him in the first place? Or was that more you picking these two characters up by the scruff of their necks and plopping them into a hypothetical scenario to explore their character and write some fun intimate thingsTM?

What do you think of the dynamic of Vox and Al vs something like Lucifer and Al? Personally I've noticed that something Alastor craves, behind the mask of his static smiling persona, is attention. He's (at least how I saw it) usually peeved when people don't care about his absence, and seems especially bothered by the King of Hell refusing to really acknowledge him, so he goes out of his way to push Lucifers buttons (like calling himself a father figure to Charlie, IN FRONT OF HER ACTUAL FATHER LOL) whereas with Vox, Vox is literally CONSTANTLY thinking about Alastor. Man literally interrupted his regular TV program to do a segment about how much he totally didn't at ALL care about Alastors dissapearance or the fact that he returned (suree buddy). So Alastor can have more fun with him and annoy him by ignoring and messing with him on purpose.

ty if you do respond to this, sorry if it was hard to understand, sometimes I forget how to put the thoughts in my brain into coherent words!

Ahhhh, thank you very much, anon! I'm especially happy that you're enjoying my commentary on Tumblr, haha - I spent a while on Twitter because that's where all the fandom zines I was in were being hosted, but nothing beats Tumblr for giving me a nigh-unlimited word count and a captive audience for my rambling! >:D <3 I'm back to cocooning myself on the OG hell site.

Thank you for this ask, it really brightened my day! :D

As for your questions:

1. I'm assuming that was a typo and that you mean Vox (but in case you did mean Val: that was just a funny accident of him walking by the room! Alastor wasn't paying enough attention until it was too late), and to that I say:

I think Alastor allows Vox to take a go at him in canon because he finds Vox's obsession with him to be entertaining, but also because Alastor is kind of a narcissist and that same obsession massively feeds his ego, especially in a political climate that otherwise forgot about Alastor. Vox's whole "Who gives a shit about Alastor coming back?! Haha, now let me have a public meltdown and short out power to the whole city about it! Oh, fuck, why is he back, though?? Can we send a spy in to find out??" is exactly the reaction that Alastor wants every time he mentions his mysterious absence and gets brushed off.

At the same time, Alastor doesn't seem to register Vox as a sincere and genuine threat. He's a big enough fish in the Pride Ring pond that his obsession with Alastor is gratifying, but Alastor's self-absorption also doesn't really allow him to treat Vox as a threat tier above "annoying in a funny way, and also television is stupid." (Perhaps this will change in season 2... :eyes: (or perhaps Alastor will get Even Worse) (please god let him get even worse))

So those two things in combination make Vox the perfect candidate for Alastor to experiment with while maintaining his ego and not feeling particularly threatened. Despite Vox's Safeword 101 talk, Alastor would never put stock into that system with Vox unless he was certain that he himself would be able to back up a 'no' with overwhelming force. Him even considering safewords in the Live On Air! series is less for his own sake and more a politesse he offers on Vox's request to warn Vox to slow the fuck down before Alastor tries to put his insides on the outside.

2. And in direct contrast, we have Lucifer...

... Who Alastor obviously actually cares quite a bit about, because he's a whole nother power tier from both Vox and Alastor, and furthermore and possibly even more importantly, a credible threat to Alastor's relationships and standing in the hotel. I think a lot of discussion I see about Alastor prodding Lucifer seems to talk about how quickly he got annoyed about Lucifer's comments, but that misses the fact that he was pissed off before Lucifer even showed up. He got pissy the moment he saw the welcome sign, actually! And I wager that he was narratively absent for the scene where Charlie actually calls Lucifer because he would have done his best to manipulate her out of doing so had be been there.

And given that the two clearly haven't met before (though obviously Alastor knows of Lucifer - and hates that the inverse isn't true, hah), it's not 100% clear exactly why he's immediately so annoyed, but in my personal view of things and barring something like "he's projecting onto Lucifer because his contract is with Lilith," I think that what we know of Alastor's personality points most strongly to "he liked being the hotel's benefactor and sees it as His Project, and doesn't like the idea that Charlie called daddy for something that she thought mysterious, powerful Alastor couldn't handle." He distracts a lot with obviously-goading comments about practically being Charlie's dad in his duet with Lucifer, but underneath that he puts a lot of emphasis on the work he's done for the hotel and the fact that he's been supporting Charlie and the hotel from the start, so why the fuck is this deadbeat asshole suddenly turning up?!

Tl;dr: Charlie missed her insight roll on Alastor's personal investments and he's sooooo offended - and taking it out on Lucifer!

I think one of my favorite things about both Lucifer and Alastor is that they both sooo obviously belong in the Pride Ring, hahaha.

[klissblog]

Is Teruhashi based off of the author's wife? Part 1

Saiki K published in 2010 in one short chapter, and was serialized from May 2012 to February 2018 (chapter 1-279).

Kokomi appeared in 2012. Her attitude at the beginning of chapter 5 was narcissistic. She flirted with the new transferred boys in chapters 18 and 66

And now I want to focus on the year 2014 since the author started to be a big fan of dempagumi.INC. He tweeted that he went to the first idol concert in November 2014.

His coworker/assistant who helped drawing Saiki k. manga (三原すばる/Mihara Subaru) drew this manga panel, and he was the one who made the author a big fan of Dempagumi (his wife is an idol in this group) in 2014.

I 2014, his wife's hairstyle appeared in chapter 87. Kokomi could sing in chapter 90. Kusuo admited that he was a tsundere in chapter 92.

Chapter 101. Kokominzu. Um... Being Otaku can affect to manga. His wife also has a fan club.

Chapter 114 Saiko appeared. He was the man of Kokomi's dream, but the author made Kokomi more loyal to Kusuo and stopped flirting with a new boy.

In 2016, there was a turning point. Kusuo was more open to Kokomi and respects her feelings. He got rid of the guys in the mixer (Chapter 182). He bought her a present (Chapter 204). Kusuo said offu with his own mouth to Kokomi (Chapter 214). He praised Kokomi we are invisible (Chapter 218)

In the same year, the author did draw his wife as Aiura Mikoto, and Aizawa Risa as Kokomi (chapter 219) and he tweeted it on 7 nov 2016. Does this prove that Risa is kokomi to the author?

Yumemi posted this picture and got the comment that she was Nendou (because of her height). If it is because of the height, I can arrange their heights in order.

Boy cosplay: Yumemi is 170cm (Nendou 191cm) > Mogami 162cm (Saiki 167cm) > Fujisaki 157cm (Kaidou 159cm)

Girl Cosplay: Furukawa 165cm (Mikoto 166cm) > Aizawa 159 (Kokomi 164cm) > Naruse 160cm (Chiyo 156cm)

There was a comment that said "As I thought, Aso sensei is a big fan of Risa-chan, aren't you? " (because he drew her as Kokomi and we all know that Kokomi is his favorite female character). The author didn't reply/answer the comment.

However, the queen came and claimed her crown! The author's wife (Furukawa-san) wrote on her twitter that "it is ok to offu" the same day the author tweeted that drawing. We all know there is one character who wants to hear offu. So who is the real kokomi?

I guess 2016 was the year they were bf/gf. That's why it's a turning point for Kusuo. I mean I wouldn't care if a big fan of mine likes or married another woman, but I do care if someone thinks my boyfriend likes another woman. Both of them couldn't say it out loud because his wife is an idol (must be secret).

In December 2018, the author proposed to his wife on Saiki animation S3 ep 1

Chapter 265 and S3ep1

In manga

1st choice「はしもと かんな と けっこん」→ married to Hashimoto Kanna (she starred as Kokomi in live action).

2nd choice 「よしおかりほ と けっこん」→ married to Yoshioka Riho (the actress).

3rd choice 「ガッキーとけっこん」 → married to Gakki (Aragaki Yui: not relate to Saiki k).

But in anime s.3 ep.1 (Netflix doesn’t translate the texts in anime.), Asō sensei changed 

no. 2 to「かやの あい と けっこん」married to Kayano Ai (Kokomi’s voice in anime)

no.3 to でんぱぐみのだれか(とけっこん) → Married someone in Dempagumi(.inc). 

He grouped his wife with Kokomi in animation. I guess his wife likes Kokomi or he sees his wife beautiful as kokomi. Anyways, he is so sweet to do a marriage proposal on anime and this'll alway be on Saiki k anime forever .

18 september 2019 The author announed that he and Furukawan-san would get married (one day before his wife birthday, 19 sep), and they had got married in november 2019 (the same month they met each other.

His coworker (三原すばる/Mihara Subaru) wrote on the manga panel, the result of being an otaku for 5 years (from 2014 to 2019). Congratulations on marriage!

So, it is Furukawa-san that the author likes from the beginning, and Furukawa-san was Mikoto in that drawing because of the height. One thing we should know about the author that he likes to trick the readers. The same as he tricked us about Aiura´s soulmate which is Toritsuka.

In my opinion, Kokomi wasn't based off the author's wife in the beginning (because they didn’t met each other from start of Saiki k. (2012), but they met each other before half of saiki k. manga 2014). Kokomi is his type and she looks similar to his wife. So, he likes his wife from the first day. The author changed Kokomi to be more nicer: not narcissistic and loyal: stop fooling around. She is beautiful, has fanclub and talented like his wife (a little based off his wife), but not a 100% like his wife because some personalities of his wife are taken to the other characters. His wife had a lack of communication at school and dislikes insects (that's kusuo character from 2012). She is a gamer. She likes ramen (Umm, it's nendou character from 2012).

The question: Doesn´t Kusuo end up with Kokomi if the author and his wife haven't met? 

Answer: I would think that Kokomi’s still narcissistic and would chase after him until the end without Kusuo showing that he liked her or not. Being aroace, I guess. 

But the author planned from the beginning that they have same birthday month and he sent them together (Kokomi asked for a decent boy and saw kusuo on her birthday, his father asked God for a nice girlfriend for his son and Kokomi appeared). The ending would be the same that kusuo chooses kokomi in chapter 279 (He doesn´t make a 100% clear and the readers have to interpret the ending). 

The picture from animation released in 2019, the year that they had got married or manga chapter 281 released in 2018, the year that the author proposed his wife. He made kusuo and Kokomi canon (Saiki likes Teruhashi in the last scene). The picture shows Kusuo startled when he heard someone called Kokomi. He didn't react anything to other friends, only reacted to Kokomi. He smiles after her words and quickly grabs glasses (save the world and grant Kokomi´s wish). Kusuo said he liked trouble which refered to Kokomi (chapter 181). Both of them like each other. The end ଘ(੭◌ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡❤️🎉‧₊˚

Chapter 181 and Reawakened ep. 6

Chapter 181 kokomi admited she liked kusuo and Reawakened ep. 6 (Chapter 281) kusuo said he liked trouble, kokomi. Ironically, he referenced/linked this romantic couple (SaiTeru) 100 chapters apart. The same as 100 chapters apart for this couple: Mikoto met Reita for the first time in chapter 173 and Reita has pink hair in chapter 73. With the pun of the characters’ names and this reference, this author is literally brilliant!

I'm not sure if the author changed Kokomi’s personality to be nicer after knowing his wife and made Kusuo´s heart swayed for kokomi the same timeline of their relationship on purpose or he did plan about this, even he didn´t meet his wife. Edit The author made terusai happened the same timeline of theirs relationship after I saw he referred himself as saiki and Kokomi as his wife in chapter 115. See extra: is Teruhashi is based off of the author’s wife? I am so sure that the author is so sweet. He even changed the storyline that Kokomi is (a little) based off his wife and saiki is a tsundere. The author saw his wife beautiful like kokomi (miss perfect in his eyes) and that’s why he grouped Kokomi and his wife in a marriage proposal. Kokomi and his wife has effort (this is definitely his type). The most important is his wife wanted to be Kokomi. “It’s ok to offu”. The author will do everything for his wife and it seems to me that his wife likes kokomi and is SaiTeru. Kokomi is favoured by the author God. Both of them are SaiTeru.

I like to think that the author say this to his wife 

«I couldn´t have done it without her. With your powers and mine, we can´t fail. We´re invicible.»

[sweaterkittensahoy]

My mom knocked me speechless today by saying, "You know, you're kind of my rock."

...bitch what.

You won't even drive 90 minutes to see me after I've flown halfway across the fucking country. You always have an excuse for why you can't possibly fly to see me. Most of which that you're "too busy" with work to take time off, and then turn around and list all the plans you DO have that take up several weeks and do not include coming to see me.

By the way, I am not the only child in this area. But I am the only one who is the child of this mother. And Mom is the one who plans all the trips, so no, recommending a trip to Dad won't change the fact she won't step foot anywhere that isn't her homebase unless I refuse to go there.

This is narcissist parent 101, really. My entire life, I've been the scapegoat, but my mother has spent the same amount of time trying to entwine me into her emotional support network. So that when she says, 'You're kind of my rock', I'm supposed to collapse in relief that I'm found worthy of service and use.

But, yet again, my mother has forgotten what a defiant fuck with a steel trap memory I am. 'You're kind of my rock,' she says to me long after I've realized I'm not actually anything to her but a shadow who should move as she does. 'You're kind of my rock,' she says to me long after I realized the paternalization she put me through because she's a drunk with no close friends and decided the better answer was to try and force the caretaker child to listen to her complain about her husband (to cheer my younger self, I refused to engage with that shit from my early twenties). 'You're kind of my rock,' she says after--as mentioned above--having reason after reason of never coming to visit that truly boils down to she doesn't want to have the loss of control of being in MY space and MY schedule. She was a total bitch my entire graduation weekend, which was the last time they were here. And my refusal to let her show up at my house earlier than I would be awake for absolutely fuels her refusal to visit now.

'You're kind of my rock,' she says, clearly trying to pull my heartstrings and re-attach me to her because I cut down contact last year, and she won't ever directly acknowledge it, but something in her knows she has lost power, and all I can think as I sit there literally struck silent because since fucking when, is "I literally never have been, and every day, I loosen your weight around my neck."

She is a rock, and every day, the weight is a little lighter.

[contentment-of-cats]

It's been a while since I posted anything Narc 101.

I guess @cordeliaperry isn't getting the attention she feels she deserves, so she posted this about Beebee. Her anons to Drac were so obvious that it was embarrassing. My guess is that she's treading the line so her account doesn't get kicked again. She's running out of targets - which is what happens when your main claim to fandom activity is running people out of fandom for not kissing your ass.

So, she did this.

@cordeliaperry is someone who weaponizes other people's difficulties like Bee's cardiac issues, like she did with my having cancer. I suspect she was the anon who wished for my cancer to come back - it does fit in with her pattern of behavior as does accusing me of bullying her. Narcs often accuse the people fighting back, not lying down and taking their bullshit or bullying. The projection is amazing. She's an IMAX, honestly.

I don't bully.

I hit back.

I don't stand by and let a cluster b clusterfuck pull a seagull where they come in, make a lot of noise, and shit all over everything.

SO, time for some more Darren F. McGee and his wisdom about narcs, sociopaths, and cluster b clusterfucks.

And, as always, what is the sound of one clown beclowning?

[contentment-of-cats]

The cluster b disorders have a lot of overlap in their characteristics. Some helpful videos below.

Hello, my name is Draculard, and I have NPD, which stands for Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Particularly, I’m a covert narcissist, and all you have to do is look that term up to see exactly how it correlates to my every behavior and action within all the fandoms I’ve ever been involved in. For your own sake, do not interact with me. ps: I have HIV AND a vagina.

-

[courtneymylove88]

𝐅𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐊𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐂𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐬*𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞

To Boddah Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee.

This note should be pretty easy to understand. All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true.

I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guity beyond words about these things. For example when we're back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins., it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy.

The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage.

I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do,God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.

On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad.

The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know! I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function.

I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become. I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away. Peace, love, empathy.

Kurt Cobain Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your alter. Please keep going Courtney, for Frances. For her life, which will be so much happier without me. I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!

[dailydemonspotlight]

Nyarlethotep

Do it

Nyarlathotep - Day 101 (Request)

Race: Vile

Arcana: Tower

Alignment: Dark-Law

September 2nd, 2024

...Shit, something slipped through the cracks... uh, Frosty, make a note to get some new janitorial staff. I mean, I guess this makes for more content...? Whatever. Demons, demons, it's all so demoning...

Need you some help? I promise I can... just give me the reigns. I don't want you misrepresenting me, after all. Humans are too foolish to understand their ends and beginnings, and that some may be more than one.

... Y'know what, sure. Whatever. Welcome aboard, Nyarly- now let me talk about you, for fucks sake.

Fie, you're impatient.

For fucks sake- okay, Frosty, get the hose, and I'll do the entry. Ahem.

Something that sometimes SMT, but mostly Persona, does, is intertwine the mythological with the fantastical. While a lot of Personas are based primarily off of mythological characters or major historical figures (I.E Captain Kidd, Sakuya, Anat, or Izanagi,) quite a lot are actually based on contemporary modern fiction, with characters such as Arsene or Zorro. One of my favorite examples of this, though, has to be from Persona 2, with its main antagonist being a major character in none other than HP Lovecraft’s very own mythos, tying together the two major sources for demons and personas- Nyarlathotep, the crawling chaos.

The annals of cosmic horror that make up Lovecraft’s sprawling series have quite a lot of outer gods- beings that exist outside of our own reality- but next to Cthulhu, Nyarlathotep is easily the most iconic and recognizable of this pantheon. It is shown as an actively malicious force in the universe, and while serving under the blind idiot god Azathoth that dreams of the world, it’s not afraid to scare and mess with the inhabitants of said world. 

Portrayed as a cunning manipulator in its primary source work, the self-titled Nyarlathotep, Nyarlathotep is shown gathering followers who slowly lose control over themselves and their minds, and as the story literally begins to fall apart as it goes on, the world begins to fall apart as well. Its presence degrades those who follow him, though it wins over hundreds of people through demonstrations of control with strange, glass instruments- even before that, though, it’d force those who approached it to bow, taking the form of a pharaoh. 

Since then, it appears sporadically throughout several stories, almost always as a manipulative and explicitly antagonistic force, as opposed to the generally uncaring forms of most other figures in the mythos. Shown as narcissistic and cruel- 

Come now, I only wish to help. 

Shut up. Anyways, its villainous streak continues throughout many tales, being variously described as a cunning man who typically appears as a pharaoh, though one with oddly caucasian features, though it also tends to appear elsewhere in other forms, evidently being a shapeshifter. The manner in which Nyarlathotep interacts with humanity is somewhat unusual for an elder god, though many still prescribe it as an elder god. 

Regardless, Nyarlathotep seems to represent the decline and loss of humanity, one possibly brought about by the commercial world, as it may even represent said commercialization if some interpretations are to be followed (see ‘Literary Copernicus’ linked above.) It’s rather hard to describe much more about Nyarlathotep, given how much of the horror of Lovecraft is built on the unknown, but it’s clearly far more than meets the eye- its role is unknown past that of a servant of Azathoth, and the way its only role is typically just to manipulate those it comes across brings up more questions than it does answers. 

In terms of design, though, I’d say that the SMT II and Persona 2 designs are about the same, at least in my eyes- the SMT II design is far more recognizable, but the mixes of designs and focus on cosmic horror and tentacles in Persona 2’s designs are incredibly fitting, so it’s hard to pick a favorite. Still, I do find it interesting that its role in Persona 2’s story is incredibly similar to that of it in most Lovecraft stories, being, yet again, a manipulator.

[expectiations]

I'd recently gone into a Cruella (2021) rabbit hole after seeing a clip of it on Tiktok yesterday. It reminded me of how there was this ... something between the Baroness and John that sparked my interest. I hurriedly ran to AO3 to hopefully find a fic that explores their dynamic and found only 6 fics in the Baroness von Hellman/John (101 Dalmatians) tag. Of those 6 fics, 2 have captured my attention and I have been stuck in that headspace ever since!

The headcanon that John is actually Estella/Cruella's biological father has me in a chokehold and prompted me to rewatch the movie to view it through the lens of "What if the Baroness and John were lovers of a sort?" What if the reason why John, who was for so many years loyal to the Baroness, betrayed her for Estella/Cruella was because he knew she was his child?

It also interests me how the Baroness threw a fit upon finding out she was pregnant. Also at this point, I'd like to interrupt myself to interject that this was all narrated from Cruella's perspective so there are missing pieces in the picture puzzle to consider. From that angle, her actions would make sense - aside from how she's labeled a narcissist and all.

Fear, anger, disappointment.

because what if it's John's child?

Fear, anger, disappointment.

white and black - it is John's child.

rubs hands gleefully I am so going to enjoy digging into this.