#n now you want me to try and communicate without looking at peoples hand gestures and body language?? or hearing the tone of their voice?

[blackypanther9]

If you had a girlfriend and came out to Alastor – Father!Alastor x Teen!Daughter!Reader

To Anon: Hi there, Nonny ! You see I did some research and apparently in the roaring 1920s there was a “Pansy Craze” (a period of increased LGBT visibility In American culture and New Orleans belonged to the USA since 1803, so it could have also affected them in my researches). From the 1920s to 1933 people from the LGBTQ community performed on stages in Cities around the world. So I thought, maybe they knew and I decided to make a TWO in ONE Oneshot, just to make it a bit fair. One where Y/n found out she was lesbian when she was alive and one when she was in Hell. Just in case someone wants a Human Version too. I hope that is not an issue for ya ! ^^’  Without further ado and my nerdy, scraping over the surface knowledge....I hope you enjoy this Oneshot and I hit your expectations with this ! QwQ

TAGLIST: @meg-giry1 @wen01203

(Drawing belongs to rightful owner)

Words: 6 864

Human Version:

You were nervous beyond belief. Why ? Your Father, Alastor Hazbin, the infamous Radio Host, wanted to meet your Lover. Many would be excited, of course, but your case was different. VERY different. Your Father assumed that your Lover was a man, that you somehow got without him knowing, but it was a woman...just like you. You were so very scared of your Father’s reaction.

For weeks you could hide it from him, your dirty little secret. At least you hoped you could, but he knew you were sneaking out a lot, lying into his face with where you went, you were bad in lying. He could read you like an open book.

For three years you knew that you were a lesbian. Men never interested you in any way that would have screamed love. But females ? You saw one once and she was so pretty that your heart started to do flips, when you talked to a pretty girl, you would stutter which you usually never did. These signs were enough for you, to test something and the results showed, that you were indeed...attracted to woman. Your own gender. Fuck.

Your beloved partner, took your left hand into her own, gently. You looked at her and she gave you a smile, to try and encourage you. After you finished your test, by asking her out, just to test a theory, the two of you became actual Lovers and you were happy, just sneaking around and stealing kisses. Now this could all end abruptly. You took a deep breath. You tightened your hold on your Lover’s hand, to ground yourself.

“Here goes nothing...”, you muttered.

You lifted your hand and knocked at the door of your home. Alastor practically locked you out and said he will only let you back inside again, if you let him meet your Lover. No talking yourself out of it.

So you went to her place a scared mess and explained the whole situation. She calmed you down and agreed to go instantly. The faster this is over and done with, the less you can work yourself up about it.

The door swung open and the face of your Father greeted you both, big smile on his face, which dimmed as he saw you and your partner, assuming she was just your friend.

“Cher...who is this ?”, your Father asked, never having met your Girlfriend before.

You took another deep inhale, while your Lover continued to hold your hand and squeezed it affectionately, supporting you the best she could.

“D-Dad...C-can we c-come in ?”, you asked in a nervous stutter.

Alastor looked at you both in concern, knowing this was something heavy and serious to you, so he stepped aside and let you both enter the house. You both just stood in the living room after you took off your shoes. Alastor gestured to the couch, while he went to the kitchen to make some tea and a coffee for himself.

The both of you sat down and you started to shake and sweat. Your partner gave you an affectionate hug.

“Calm down, Love. I’m sure he won’t hate you.”, your Girlfriend said softly.

You looked at her, shaking like a leaf.

“W-what if he...disowns me...? I-I just want his support. W-what if he won’t...accept me ? Accept you ? Accept us ? I love you, but I also love him. I don’t want to lose my Papa. He raised me for years, Darling.”, you whispered shakily.

She hugged you tighter and ran her fingers through your hair, kissing your cheek.

“Don’t draw crosses on the walls just yet, Love. You told me so many stories about your Dad, that I am almost certain, that he will at least try and adjust to this. You said he always made sure that no man will hurt you, never let any of them take you out on a date...maybe he will be glad you are not into men anyways.”, she tried to comfort you.

You looked at her and kissed her lovingly. She really was your rock right now. You were so scared and nervous, that you didn’t even think of that possibility. Your Pa was always gentle with women, but rarely with men. Maybe he will accept this... Hopefully...

Soon enough Alastor returned with two cups.

“I made Peppermint tea. I hope it will calm you down, Cher. You look ready to bolt away and cry.”, your Father said gently and set the two cups down in front of you and your Lover.

“Th-thanks...Papa...”, you got out.

He saw how much you shook. You looked like you were about to cry for hours and it worried him deeply. Did something happen ? Was your friend with you, because your Lover decided to dump you ? Was he abusive ? Did Alastor have to go on another killing spree ?

He returned with his cup of Coffee and sat down in his armchair. He looked at his daughter with worried eyes, still filled with adoration and love for his little girl.

“Mon ange (My Angel), what happened ? Why are you so nervous ?”, your Father asked gently.

Your Lover squeezed your shoulder gently, encouraging you to come out to him.

“Y-you wanted to m-meet my L-Lover...right, Papa ?”, you stuttered out, wringing your hands in an aggressive manner.

Your partner took your hands into hers and squeezed them, trying to avoid it that you hurt yourself. Alastor nodded.

“Did he hurt you ? Do I have to get police involved ?”, he asked you.

You shook your head and then clammed your mouth shut. Your anxiety was skyrocketing.

“Drink a sip of your tea, Cher.”, your Father suggested gently.

You shakily reached out for it and as you took it, Alastor saw how violently you shook. You almost spilled your drink while you sipped on it. After you sipped enough, you felt a bit calmer, but still very scared. You looked at your partner, who nodded and gave you and encouraging smile.

You looked at your Father again, took a deep breath and then tried to not look so scared. He admired your urge to try and act fearless, but he knew how spooked you are, so he didn’t understand, why you steeled yourself so.

“Pa...I never courted a man.”

Relief and confusion rushed through him at that. No one hurt his little girl, then why were you so scared and here with your friend ?

“Then why are you so spooked, mon petit (My little one) ?”

“I...I said I never courted a man...I didn’t s-say that I was-wasn’t courting someone though, Papa...”

Your hands were clammy and sweaty, the urge to run, cry and vomit was so strong. But SHE grounded you. Your Lover grounded you. This was your Dad. He was always there for you. He might understand... You hoped.

“Then who are you courting, Cher ?”, Alastor asked a bit confused.

You took another deep breath, griped your partner’s hands tighter in your own, sat up straighter pushing your chest out a bit to try and show your confidence and gave your Father a determined look. He was surprised by how strong you try to be now, as if he will yell at you any second.

“Papa...You wanted me to introduce you to my beloved. I introduce you to my Lover. Her name is GF/n and she makes me happy.”, you blurted out, looking from her to your Father again.

His eyes were wide, his smile closed. His eyes swapped from you over to your Lover, then back to you. He looked at his Coffee.

“Am I really drinking Coffee right now ?”, he asked himself.

“You are, Papa. I’m serious.”, you told him, voice a bit weaker, lacking some confidence.

He looked at you again and your Lover.

“How long has this been going on ?”, he asked you, his voice a bit...off sounding.

You started to freak out on the inside, your confidence falling apart. He didn’t take it well, did he ? He is angry... He will kick you out. He will yell. He will shout. He will disown you. He will-

Your Lover squeezed your hand gently and you looked at her. She gave you her charming smile again, nodded gently and flicked her eyes from you to your Father, motioning you to answer him.

“We...we have b-been together fo-for...6 w-weeks.”, you stuttered out.

Alastor looked at you and set his Coffee down, not drinking it at all. He leaned forward.

“How did it start ?”, he asked.

“I-it started as an ex-experiment, r-really. We-we didn’t ex-expect the re-results...”

“Cher, stop stuttering so much. Now, tell me what experiment that was.”, he pressed.

He was actually curious, but his little girl was such a mess. Maybe he sounded a bit...cross ? He really didn’t mean to come off like that, but he was still processing all of it and he wanted to know everything, to see if you were forced into this or not.

You suddenly clammed your mouth shut, looking away, scared. You couldn’t say it, you weren’t brave enough. You tapped your Lover’s thigh gently, telling her to tell him. You were unable to.

She looked at your Father and lifted her hand softly, catching his attention.

“If I may...Y/n’s nerves are all over the place, which made her shut down on us. If you wish, I can tell you how it happened, what the experiment was about, Sir. Only if you wish to. Y/n...she is very nervous and scared.”, your Lover said.

He crooked his head to a side.

“Why would she be nervous and scared ?”, he asked.

“Well Sir, as you may know...not many approve of people like us. I tried to encourage her that you won’t be angry with her. I mean...she told me many stories about you and they were all good, you two barely argued about serious matters, you protect her from many things, you help her out with many things, which she returns as a favor and more. I tried to tell her that you most possibly won’t disown her, for being attracted to the same gender. Now that the cat is out of the bag, she is afraid what your reaction will be.”

He leaned back into his armchair and looked at you. So you were scared that he will yell at you...or worse. He sighed gently and looked at your partner, gesturing for her to tell him what the experiment was about. She nodded.

“Your daughter noticed small signs of her...sexual attractions. She was never interested in men, which she found odd, because no matter what type of man walked up to her, she found no interest or appeal in them, but with women...it seemed different. Quicker heartbeat, stuttering, finding interest in some women, finding them pretty in a different, less appropriate way...you name it. One day she met me and she wanted to experiment around with me. I work in a small bar and some knew that I was just like your daughter, not interested in men, but women. She heard about it and she found interest in me, so she asked me if I would be willing to help her in her own experiment. I agreed and we started to go out together a few times, each time it was beautiful. The more we continued her experiment, the more we fell in love with each other, until she asked me, formally, if I would do her the honors to court her. She was so shy and adorable about it too, some flowers, a package of chocolates and a small handmade scarf. I said yes and we have been courting formally for 6 weeks now.”

Alastor looked at her very interested as he heard her side of the story. You smiled gently at the memory, blushing slightly. Your Father noticed, but decided not to point it out. His smile didn’t drop, but it was a bit more genuine. He looked at you again.

“Cher, how long have you known, that you were interested in women ?”, he asked gently.

You wiggled around on the couch, uncomfortable.

“W-well, with all the signs I had...I suspected it already. If we would go only after the time I assumed this case, then it would be three years by now. When it was fully confirmed...since three months now. I experimented around with GF/n for two months, before I asked for her courtship.”, you answered, still awaiting his shouts and anger.

You were surprised as you heard your Father chuckle in amusement. You looked at your Father and saw his genuine smile, warmth and love in his eyes.

“Now, Cher, why would you ever assume that I would yell at you, for finding Love ? It may be frowned upon in the open, but for Heaven’s sake, if you love her, then you love her. What’s the big fuss about anyways ?”, he said with warmth in his voice.

“Wait...so you...you support me ?”, you asked with shyness.

“Indeed I do ! If she makes you happy, then who am I to stand in your way of your Love life, Cher ? You may be my child, but I am not controlling your life and what you fall in love with. Look at me, Cher ! I am not even married, never found the right one for me ! Hahaha !”

A big smile grew on your face. Your Lover smiled happily as she saw you light up, which also made your Father smile wider. He stood up and opened his arms for you.

“Come here, mon petit.”, he said.

You got up and ran into his arms, hugging your Papa tightly. He wrapped his arms around you too and swayed a bit back and forth, something that comforted you all the time. Happy tears escaped your eyes.

“I love you so much, Papa. You are the best.”, you said into his chest.

He smiled warmly at that and looked at your partner. He opened one of his arms and smiled gently.

“Come on, join in !”, he encouraged her.

She got up and joined into the hug. You felt so full with love and affection from the two people that meant the world to you.

“But just so you know, GF/n...you hurt my little Angel and you will have to answer to me.”, Alastor threatened.

Just because your Lover is a woman, doesn’t that mean he will be nice, if she breaks your heart. He will kill her and you knew that. You knew that you had to make sure you can trust her with that information, so she won’t spill. Because if anything happened to either of you, your Father would make sure they will be dead.

She would find out eventually, so you needed to make sure that she can be trusted with this.

Alastor would look after you and your Lover.

He fully supports you two.

If you would ever want to marry, he would give his blessing.

If the two of you ever argue and you tell your Dad, he will try to help you both sort everything out. He would calm you down and then talk with your beloved, to try and get you two back together and whoever was in the wrong, would get a scolding from him.

Your Father would never force you to marry a man for reputation, status or anything else, not even to cover up your relationship with your beloved.

If someone ever forces themselves on either of you, he will kill them, you just need to tell him.

If anyone finds out about it and wants to use it to their advantage to break you two apart, soil your names or even force one of you to marry them and have children, he will murder them in the most brutal way possible.

He will never arrange marriages with anyone for your hand, no matter what. He rather dies.

If anyone that was close to him knows about your sexual attractions and tells Alastor, he would kill them, after proudly admitting that he knew and supported it. He only left those alive, that didn’t mind it and were happy for you, just as he was.

He would fully support you and your significant other to adopt a child, if you two felt ready for it. He would even gladly help you two out.

At some point the three of you would sit down and Alastor would confess with you that he was the Bayou Killer.

Your Lover would swear secrecy and help if they needed it, after hearing that Alastor only killed those that deserved it. She also might have admitted that she already knew with the few kills that happened to certain men that harmed the both of you.

After Alastor would die, the two of you would continue his work and keep your children safe, if you have any. Otherwise it is to protect each other and other people that were innocent and would get tainted otherwise.

When the two of you die and land in Hell, you would actively hunt down your Father, while he did the same. His Father senses would immediately pick up on your arrival in Hell and he would start a search party.

You would all happily live together and catch up on what you missed from one another’s lives. You three would never split again and Alastor would help the both of you to become Overlords.

Hell Version:

You had no idea that you were lesbian, when you were alive. You just always believed what your Father told you. That you hadn’t found “The right one” yet, like him. But it was so much more complicated.

If you thought back to the past, you should have realized it way sooner. How you felt drawn to other females, how you were suddenly such a mess when you talked to a beautiful woman. You never felt attracted, nor interested, in men when you were alive. Yu thought you were straight, but actually...you were homosexual.

Just to make sure, you started to date a Demoness, behind your Father’s back. After all....what would he think of you, if you got together with a Demoness ? A darn woman ? You didn’t really wanted to find out.

The Demoness you dated was beautiful. She was caring, loving and sweet to you too. She didn’t give a fuck who you were to the public, nor who your Father was in public. Sure, she was hesitant when you approached her and told her about who you were and who your Father was, but she still accepted to help you with figuring your sexual attractions out.

The more you two bonded, the more you two fell in love with one another. You shared stories with her about your Father, which made him sound like an absolute Sweetheart in private, so she was more intrigued to meet him one day, than scared. You said you want to keep it a secret from him, which she softly agreed to, seeing your worries. But...all things must come to an end... Which lead you to a few months later.

You never told your Father, you were sneaking around. The two of you worked in the Hazbin Hotel and you would usually just sneak out at night, when the Hotel was closed, without your Father interrogating you.

You were scared beyond belief, by just thinking of telling him that you are a lesbian. He accepted Charlie and Vaggie as a pair, sure, but none of the two were HIS kids. You were his Daughter and he probably expected better of you, than to fall in love with the same gender as you.

Who was your Father ? Alastor, the Radio Demon.

You knew that your Father was an Ace, or better an AroAce, you found that out a while ago with Rosie by your side. He was never straight. He was Aromantic and Asexual, which, honestly, didn’t help you to be brave enough to tell him that you were Homosexual. It actually made it even harder.

Your Dad doesn’t even know he was an AroAce and he still had no idea what that term even meant. Rosie told him only once that he sounded like and AroAce and he asked her what that was supposed to mean. She never elaborated and you felt awkward telling him, so you didn’t.

The day had been stressful and you were already looking forward to sneaking out that night, just to see your Lover, GF/n. You just wanted to cuddle with her and tell her all about your stressful day, then fall asleep in her arms.

It was 1 in the morning ad you decided to leave. You left your room and tiptoed through the halls, to the stairs, tiptoed downstairs and then to the front door. You left quickly and quietly. You didn’t use your powers, because your Dad would have picked up on it and then could have tracked you down.

What you didn’t know, was that you weren’t as sneaky as you hoped. Alastor knew you were sneaking around at night and that night he sent his shadow after you, to spy, while he read a book in his room. He was concerned what you did at this unholy hour and why you didn’t tell him.

You walked for a while, until you were in Zestial’s turf. Then you stopped at a house and climbed through an open window, landing in the living room. You looked around and then closed the window gently, sneaking into the hall and then up the stairs, stopping at a door, opened it and entered. Inside the room, was your Beloved, reading a book. She stopped reading and looked up, smiling happily as she spotted you, which made you smile brightly too.

She closed her book, put it on her nightstand and got up. She rushed over and hugged you tightly, which you returned.

“Love ! How are you ?! You are late, I was worried you won’t come over today !”, she chirped, happily.

You chuckled and squeezed her gently.

“My Father was a bit longer than usual in the main Lobby and I can’t use my Magic to sneak off, he would track me down, Love. I’m so sorry.”, you answered her.

“It’s okay ! So ? How was your day ?”, she asked and lead you to her bed to sit down, next to her.

You groaned.

“Stressful. I don’t know how Father managed today, honestly ! Charlie had us all running around like headless chicken and the new exercises she wanted to do, were so many at once and so chaotic ! To top it all off, Pentious’ egg boiz blew holes into the ceiling and almost destroyed the roof ! Angel decided to get so wasted that he kept bothering my Father, who was close to blow a fuse and Vaggie is still staring daggers at me, because I am brutally honest with Charlie ! To end my charming day, I was left with a lot of paperwork, from Vaggie, for talking her Girlfriend down, even though I just tried to help and be honest ! It was the double amount my Father had gotten !”, you complained.

Your Lover frowned at that and started to sit behind you, massaging your shoulders, who were stiff and tense. You sighed and hummed, as she tried to loosen up your muscles.

“That really didn’t sound good. Nor is that Vaggie fair. She needs to understand that her partner also needs harsh reminders about reality. She is the Princess of Hell, but she is way too kind to get anywhere. She isn’t using her authority, nor her Power to make people stop seeing her as a joke. Coddling her won’t help her.”, your Beloved said gently.

“That is what I told her TWICE this week ! She doesn’t give a fuck ! Everyone is making fun of Charlie and she still coddles her, instead of telling her to be a bit more aggressive ! If this continues then they can shut down the Hotel entirely !”, you groaned.

She continued to massage your sore muscles and hummed gently.

“How is your Dad fairing, Love ?”

“He is managing better than me, I can tell you that. I was about to blow a fuse as Vagatha threatened me with her spear and cussed at me in Spanish. He was just so close to blow one today, that he decided to hide in his room and get to work on the papers, he is assigned to. Sometimes I am at a loss that he can still keep his smile up ! In his eyes stood pure annoyance today, while in mine was rage to see that I barely kept at bay ! Honestly, at this point I am unsure if I want to keep helping ! I just get backlash anyways !”, you scoffed.

Your Lover hugged you tightly from behind, calming down your boiling anger.

“I feel so bad for you two, Love.”, she said softly.

You sighed.

“There is not one day where we have some peace and quiet. How am I supposed to come up, with a speech, like that ?”, you said in defeat.

“You actually plan to tell him ?”, your Beloved asked you gently.

“I can’t hide this from Papa forever. I am surprised that I got away until now. But I have zero time to ready myself for the possible heartbreak I will go through.”, you muttered out.

She let go of you and kissed your neck.

“I think he will accept you still, even if you are...different.”, she tried to cheer you up, “After all, he accepts Vaggie and Charlie too, right ?”

“Hun, that is different.”

“How so ?”

“Vaggie and Charlie are not his children. I am his Daughter and I feel like I will disappoint him, when I tell him that I know now....why I was never interested in men. Yes, my Papa can be very laid back about a lot of things, mostly when it is me. But that doesn’t mean that he is alright with everything that I do and say. You have to remember that we lived in the 1920s, he lived through the late 1890s until the early 1930s, while I lived in the late 1910s to the late 1940s. Anything besides being straight was heavily frowned upon back then. Either you were straight, or you were a dysfunctional human being to the society.”, you reminded her.

“And you think your Dad will hate you for being...you ? He is an AroAce, that is what you said, with the Overlord of Cannibal Town, Rosie.”

“Cher, he has no idea what an AroAce even is.”

“Wait...none of you told him ?”, she asked in shock.

“Rosie didn’t elaborate, hoping he would research the terms himself, now that he has a label on him that he doesn’t know the meaning of and it was too awkward to me, to tell him. He always thought that he just didn’t find the right person. Imagine his world falling apart when he finds out that he was AroAce the whole time. I didn’t want him to have a breakdown about it. I can only imagine how sad he would be.”

“Now, now. Just because he is AroAce, doesn’t that mean he is incapable to be happy.”

“I know, but...at some points he HATES being different from others. I know so. I was there and at nights he thought I was asleep, he was crying. GF/n...he was hurting often and hid it behind a smile. Earth wasn’t kind to him...nor is Hell. He tries to hide it, but I know his big heart. I know that he is hurting even more and I am worried about him. He is my Papa, I love him very much. I hate to see him hurting so much.”

She gave you a sympathetic look and then a kiss on your cheek. You looked away and took a deep breath.

“As much as he would HATE to hear it...I wish he would have gone to Heaven after death. Heaven would have been kinder to him, he could have reunited with Grandma and...he would be carefree now. Here in Hell...he has to be the opposite. Hide behind smiles, show no weaknesses, be coldhearted...All this...isn’t my Papa. He is a very kind soul, but he can’t show it. And I hate that so much. He is always full of worries and fears, but he never lets anyone know. Not even me. It frustrates me, because I can see the pressure he is trying to carry on his own shoulders, all alone. He refuses help and he tries to do everything alone. He is going under in all the stress he tries to hide, he is suffering so much from it that it makes him a little crazy. I have no idea how to help him out.”, you vented.

“Have you ever asked him ? Spoken about these matters ?”

“I tried. Every time he avoids the subject ! He shuts down as soon as I try to get him to talk to me, so I can help and don’t have to watch, helplessly, how he slowly falls apart !”

Alastor’s smile was small and strained. You knew that he was very troubled. He thought he hid it well from you. He should have known that you could read him easily. After all, you grew up around him, as his Daughter.

But now a lowlife Demoness knows this too, the one you vented to. That won’t do...

He still didn’t pick up on you being Lovers. He couldn’t look through his shadow’s eyes, only listen in. He had to go and kill her when he has time.

“I tell you what. Tomorrow, I will come over to the Hazbin Hotel for a visit. You and I will tell him together about you....issue and then we try to make him open up about his own problems. It is not healthy to carry all your troubles on your own. You always need others to be stronger. Your Pa is making himself an easy target. The mind is a fragile thing, even down here.”

“Are you sure that he won’t...hate me ?”

“You told me so many stories about him and what a Sweetheart he can be in private, that I am determined to say that he won’t hate you. I am 100% sure he will still love you.”

Alastor tuned out after that, already planning her death, while the two of you made out and then decided to go to sleep.

-The next day-

You teleported back to the Hazbin Hotel, appearing in your room, after you gave your Lover a kiss. Venting to her yesterday helped you immensely. You took deep breaths, to calm down and then got ready for the day.

Charlie had you running some errands to get food stocked up, which took you a few hours. As you returned you were just informed that Charlie needed you to fill out important formulas for the Hotel, as the door opened. Everyone turned to the door in the Lobby and saw your Beloved.

“Oh my gosh ! A new guest ! Hello, I’m Charlie ! Do you want to get rehabilitated ?!”, she swarmed your Beloved and not letting her come to word.

“Actually, she is here to visit me.”, you said, coldly, to Charlie, not liking her hands on your Lover’s shoulders at all.

Charlie’s smile dropped and she sulked a bit.

“Oh...”

You approached them and pulled her into your embrace, giving Charlie a possessive glare, as you held your Beloved.

“Mine.”, you said.

Your Lover blushed and smiled brightly.

“Hun, please....”

“As if she would be willingly with you ! You are an Overlord and the Daughter of the Radio Demon ! You don’t have a heart that shows love ! What did you do to her ?!”, Vaggie accused and you glared at her, tightening your grip on your Beloved.

Your Partner glared at Vaggie.

“How about you shut your mouth, before I shut it for you, Vagatha ? Don’t you DARE to speak to me Beloved in that way !”, she snarled in anger.

Everyone stared in utter shock at the two of you. You smiled happily and kissed her cheek. As soon as you two parted from one another, your Father appeared in the Lobby. You looked at him in nerves, while your Lover kept a cool head.

“What is all this commotion about ?”, Alastor asked with a laughing track.

“Vagatha was a bitch towards your Daughter, is all, Sir.”, your Lover answered him politely, still glaring at Vaggie.

He looked at Vaggie.

“Is that so ?”, he asked dangerously calm.

Then he turned to your Lover again.

“And who might you be ?”

“My name is GF/n, a pleasure to meet you, Sir.”

“The pleasure is all mine ! The name’s Alastor, the Radio Demon !”, he greeted back happily.

Until now it seemed to go just swell. You cleared your throat.

“Papa...can we talk in private ? You, GF/n and I ? It is...urgent.”

“Why, of course, mon petit !”, he said happily and then teleported the three of you to his Radio Tower.

“So, what do you want to talk about, that is urgent ?”, he asked you.

You wrung your hands in nerves.

“W-well....you remember when we talked about my disinterest in men, when we were alive ?”, you asked nervously.

“I do, indeed ! I said you just didn’t find the right one yet ! Why ? Have you found him ?”

“W-well...it’s more...complicated, Papa...”

He cocked his head to the side in confusion.

“Oh ?”

“You see...I am...not straight...?”

Now he got nervous. What do you mean you are not straight ? He knows you meant that you aren’t Heterosexual, but what are you then, why are you so scared to tell him ?

“Continue...”, he said, his voice softer.

“I never noticed the signs when I was alive, Papa. I found it all out here in Hell and GF/n helped me to figure it all out. Along the process...we fell in Love and it had been going on for months now, we trust each other deeply, so please don’t be mad when I tell you that she knows about you a bit. I always snuck off at night, because I was scared you will be angry with my sexual orientation, so I wanted to keep it a secret until I knew how to approach you. The Hotel didn’t make it that easy and GF/n offered to support me today to tell you, because I vented to her all my worries yesterday and all my stress and Iamalesbian !”, you quickly ranted out, too nervous to speak calmly.

There was a deadly silence in the room, after you finished. Your Father was trying to catch up with everything you just ranted out so quickly. As his brain caught up with what you just confessed to him, there was a loud record screeching sound and he stared at you in shock.

“You are a WHAT ?!”, he asked in shock.

He wasn’t angry, just shocked that you found it out earlier than he did. He didn’t even know until now. You flinched.

“I...I am a Lesbian...Homosexual...”, you got out shakily now.

Your Father sprung up and rushed to you, before you could react and hide somewhere, he pulled you to his chest into a almost bone crushing hug, which shocked and surprised you.

“Oh, Cher, those are such WONDERFUL news ! You finally figured yourself out ! I’m so proud of you !”, he said happily.

“Wait...you...aren’t mad ?”, you asked in awe.

“Why would I be, mon diable (My Devil) ?! These are the best news I have ever heard ! You found love, my Dear ! And you found out your taste ! Who cares if you like the same gender ?! Why were you so afraid to tell me that ?”, he asked, his real voice coming out.

“W-well...we both lived in times where it was heavily frowned upon... I thought you wouldn’t be happy with me and so...I was too scared to tell you. I feared you would disown me...”, you said softly.

“Mon petit diable (My little Devil), I would never disown you, for being yourself. You don’t have to hide anything from me, Cher.”

He then looked at your Lover.

“Can I be assured that you won’t use anything you know against us ?”, he asked her.

“I would never want to hurt my Beloved. I love her with all my soul.”, she told your Father.

He hummed.

“Alrighty then. I am glad that I don’t have to kill you then, for knowing too much.”

“Daaaaaaaaaaaad !”, you moaned out annoyed.

“I had to make sure that she knows that she isn’t safe just because you two are courting.”, he defended himself.

“Don’t chase my Lover away, Papa !”, you scolded and smacked his right arm, playfully.

He chuckled.

“I would never, mon petit. Now ! Would anyone explain to me what in everything unholy and AroAce is ? And why I am supposed to be one ?”, he asked.

You shifted around uncomfortably.

“I will gladly do so.”, your Beloved answered and you all sat down.

Alastor would be shocked from the news.

He would be delighted to see you finally had a Lover.

Would be happy that you finally figured yourself out.

Would support you.

Alastor would be very protective of you and threaten your Lover that she isn’t safe from him, if she fucks up.

He would keep an eye out on you two.

He would never hate you for coming out to him.

Anyone tries to hurt you two, they will answer to him personally.

If the two of you argue, he will try to find the root of the issue and try very subtly to get you back together.

He would support the both of you through everything and anything.

Alastor would help your Beloved to become and Overlord after she proved herself to be worthy of you, to him.

If you two want a biological child, he will help you two out with his Magic. All he would need is a small doll, crafted to look how you want the child to look like and from each of you a vial of blood, then his Magic would do the rest and you would have a Hellborn child.

He would help you raise your kids and be a great Grandpa.

Alastor would rope Rosie in to be their Auntie. Best friends and all that, plus, Rosie loves kids.

If you want to ever marry, he would give you both the green light, as long as he can lead YOU to the altar !

If anyone has a problem with you two being together, let him know. He will gladly have a snack~

You would warm up to your Girlfriend/Wife and show his softer side to her, just give him time. After all he knows you want her to be treated like Family, he just wants to make sure that she is the right one for you.

He would fool around with your Beloved after he warmed up to her and get very protective of her, just like he was with you.

Alastor would help her out in surprising you with small to huge things.

He definitely would gossip with her about anything and everything, even talk about his past with her.

Your Father would put a lot of effort into getting to know her, her getting to know him and to bond with her.

Best Dad in the world, even if he planned to kill your Lover in the beginning.

A/N: I hope this is good and you won't be mad that I also made a Human Version ! At least then no one can demand for it, because it already exists. *Lol* Two flies with one smack !

Masterlist HERE !

[codfanficedits]

Tapping out.

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x fem!Reader

Summary: Being tapped out after duty

Wordcount: 7988| Rating: M (18+ only!)

Warnings: Soft Simon, friends to lovers, communication, reader is hesitant about feelings, Simon falls first and Simon falls harder. Mentioning of childhood abuse, fluff, romance.

A/N: Had to take a little break because of uni and my mental health, but I am back at it again.

Tapping out.

You had been dreading the day. Your teammates around you being tapped out by their family members, by their friends, loved ones. And there you were, standing alongside Simon. Both standing in formation, waiting for the moment that will never arrive.

Your eyes shift to Simon, and you can see the longing in his eyes, the desire to be loved. A feeling comes over you. What if you could tap him out? You were looking at him, you knew it wasn't really appreciated when soldiers tapped each other out, but you were the only one left, the rest of the soldiers were too occupied with their family to even care about the two of them. Price with his wife and child, Gaz with his girlfriend and mom, even Soap with his three sisters. Just you and Simon left. Two broken people waiting to be whole again.

But you didn't know if he even wanted you to tap him out. You swallowed the lump in your throat. You wanted to tap him out. But didn't dare to yet. You and Simon had been good friends. But what if he didn't want you to be the one to tap him out? You wouldn't risk that. Simon looks at you, and in your eyes he sees that lump you’re trying to swallow. That same lump that rests within him and he has an idea. Without saying a word, he takes your hand in his, and guides it onto his shoulder, indicating you should tap him out.

His gaze never leaves yours. You looks up when you see him taking your hand. The leather of his gloves feels rough against your skin. He lets your hand linger above his shoulder. He dared to do what you couldn't. But leaves the final decision with you.

You make eye contact and you know it is now or never. You taps his shoulder, and his hand automatically goes to your shoulder. A smile on both faces before he pulls you in for a hug. The tension in Simon’s shoulders lessens when you tap him out, and he wraps his arms around you to return the gesture. No words are needed, as the message is sent. For the moment, there are no orders. No mission. No rank distinction. Just friends, enjoying a long awaited embrace. This is what he needed. Your warm body pressed against his, your head resting against his chest. He wraps his arms tighter around you. He can feel the beat of your heart through the material of your uniforms.

He leans his head back, staring at the sky. Your relationship had been platonic thus far. The occasional ribbing. Jokes. Banter. He wonders if you feel the same way. If you want more. You want to pull back, after all, you’re still out in the open, surrounded by your teammates and their families. But no one is paying attention to you, no one sees what happens between the two of you. "If you need me during our break. You know where to find me." You murmur. The words you spoke brought him back to reality. He’d forgotten that your embrace was in full view of the entire taskforce He lets go of you and smiles, a hint of embarrassment in his eyes. He takes a step back to give you space, his hands resting on his hips.

His heart beats against his chest, his breathing becoming more sporadic. He couldn’t help but wonder why he felt those things for you. You’re just a friend. Just a friend, right?

You pull back, you’re crossing the line of a friendly embrace.

"Enjoy your summer break, Simon." You say. "See you after summer."

You turn around, but his large hand grabs your arm.

"Wait."

You turn to look at Simon. "I rented a small cabin, away from the city. It has two bedrooms and you're welcome to join me." He is rambling his words, almost as if he is afraid of you declining.

Did he just invite you?

 You are nervous but you smile.

"Sure."

Your words fall on Simon’s ears like music coming from an angel. He couldn’t believe it, an entire summer with you? Just the two of you?

His head spins as you accept his offer. A hundred thoughts go through his mind; is he being too forward? what if you change your mind? Are you just saying that to placate him?

But the excitement on his face is genuine. He feels like a kid on Christmas.

“Really? I…” he begins, but the word “thank you” gets caught in his throat.

"I'm looking forward to it." You answer. "Let me pack my bag, and I'll join you."

You were happy with this little get away. It was better than going back to your own empty apartment or staying at base for that matter. With a light spring in your step you hurry yourself back to your quarters, packing a bag. Truth be told you weren’t planning on leaving this base anyway, everything you needed was right here, expect for someone who cares, that is. But you don’t have to think about things like that anymore, not for the days you’re with Simon, of course. While the two of you had been friends, maybe a little more, maybe not, you liked the idea of getting out, of not being at the same spot all the damn time. You pack your bag, worried that if you take too long, he’ll leave without you, even though you know he would never do such thing to you. You hurry to his car, and he isn’t even there yet, You’d worried about nothing.

Simon carries his duffle bag to the car, smiling as he sees you already waiting for him. “You’re all packed?” he asks, placing his bag in the trunk beside yours. The excitement in his voice is unmistakable, he sounds like a puppy who just got a new toy.

“Let’s go, then!” he exclaims, hopping into the driver’s seat. “You’re driving?” You ask as you get in the passenger seat.

“Yeah!”

 “Are you sure that is a good idea?” You ask again and Simon gives you a glare. “I’ll have you know I do have a legally obtained driver’s license.”

“How many tries?”

He ignores the question and turns up the volume of the radio. “How many tries, Simon?” You ask once more.

“Seven.” He mutters under his breath.

“Seven!”

He look at you, a frown on his face. “You make it sound like a bad thing.”

“It is a bad thing!”

“Nuh uh.” Simon chuckles. “I had some extra practice. By all means, my driving is safer than yours.”

And the Gods punish him for such lies, as he hits a curb while he goes nearly 30 miles per hour. “Simon!”

“Oops.”

“Oops? Oh my god, we’re pulling over and I am driving!” You hate to raise your voice, but you’re pretty sure you’ll meet your maker if he keeps on driving.

Simon pulls over to the side of the road, glancing at you with a slight frown. He sighs, handing over the keys. “Fine.” He shrugs, crossing his arms in disapproval. The two of you get out of the car and you switch seats.

He leans back and looks out the window, his gaze lingering on you. In the dim light of the car, his eyes catch a glimpse of your lips. He feels a wave of heat wash over him, and he quickly looks away, not daring to meet your gaze. You start the car, and while you’re not the best driver either, you do drive a lot safer than he does. "By God, Simon." You snicker. "You're an amazing soldier, but a horrible driver."

Simon looks over at you, and a cheeky grin spreads across his face. “I know.” he admits. “It’s a good thing the army pays for our repairs, eh?” You laugh at his remark. "So you're the reason the army doesn't have a budget for anything else."

His laughs with you. “Guilty as charged, but that was a low blow.” Simon leans into his seat again, his gaze falling on you one more time. “So,” he says. “What do you want to do when we get to the cabin?”

You look at him, just for a brief moment before you turn your attention on the road again. “I don’t know.” You say, as you look at the navigation on his phone. “I’ll let you surprise me.”

His eyes linger briefly on your lips once again. What would it feel like to kiss you? Would you let him?

“I was thinking…” He answers you after a few moments of silence. “I thought we could just relax for once. Get some sun. Relax at the forest. Go for a swim. That sort of thing.”

You smile at the idea. “I would like that.”

“Yeah me too.”

It stays quiet after that, but it’s not awkward, neither of you feel the need to say something, to fill the air with meaningless words.

After what feels like only a moment you reach the cabin, it is shielded from the rest of the world, hidden away from the chaos of society.

The two of you get out of the car, and Simon hands you the keys and the bags. “Make yourself at home, I’ll do some grocery shopping.” He orders. And out of habit you do as you’re told, not even thinking about defying his order.

With two bags in your hand you open the cabin door and you step inside, your first instinct is to kick your shoes off.

You drop the bags on the floor as you begin to wander around the cabin. It is nice, it is cozy, a little outdated, but who are you to complain? It feels more like home than anything else you’ve ever encountered in your life.

Memories of the broken dishes and your screaming parents begin to pop up, they begin to find their way out of the chambers where you had locked they. But once again you push them away, a skill you had mastered over the years. Your fingertips glide over the smooth surface of the countertops while a whirlpool of emotions tug on your heartstrings. Anger from the childhood that had been taken from you, sadness over what could’ve been if things had been different, and a sudden longing for a domestic life, one you threw away the moment you joined the army.

You look up when the front door swings open, and neither of you need the words to understand what is happening, Simon knows that look all to well, he too carries it in the chambers of his heart. “Fuck.” You mutter. “Got lost in thought, let me put the bags away.” It is a futile attempt to hide, to not let him in to the burden of your childhood. Simon watches you pull away with a subtle nod of his head. If he’s disappointed that you’ve hidden the hurt and sad child once more under the mask of the soldier, it doesn’t show on his face. He’s seen that transformation before, seen it countless times in fact, and still know that it's the only way you know to cope. So he won’t push you, but he is glad that this cabin could offer you a brief respite from your hardships, a temporary shelter from the storm that rages within you.

He knows you’ll give him the largest bedroom, an unspoken rule coming from your childhood, others will always deserve more than you, it has become a second nature to you, and he can see it, feel it within you, and right now, in this little cabin, he wants nothing more than to free you from those shackles.

He neatly puts away the groceries, while he waits for you to come back, he hopes you’ll enjoy the little surprise he had bought for the both of you.

 “Come on.” Simon doesn’t even give you time to talk while he grabs your arms and drags you outside with him. “The weather is way too nice to sulk inside.”

And while you hate to admit that he is right, the weather is way too nice to sulk inside, the scenery is amazing, green grass, large trees, a ocean of wild flowers surrounding you. It seems like he knows the way, in the way his legs carry him with such confidence in his strides. “You’ve been here before?” You ask him.

Simon nods, his eyes shifting to you for a brief moment before you reach an open field. “I come here every time we’re allowed leave.”

“Sit.” He orders you, and you let yourself drop on the ground, feeling the little strands of grass beneath your fingertips, and automatically you rip a few strand out of the ground, peeling them in two while you wait for him to sit down with you.

“Here.” Simon holds up two small bottles, and you frown. “A bubble blower?” and he nods.

For a moment you don’t know if you have to laugh about it, treating it all like some sort of joke. But it is the soft look in his eyes that make you realise he is serious, and the hurt child inside of you is screaming in the enclosure you’ve locked her in. Your hand reaches out to one of the small bottles. “For me?” You ask, with a voice so soft it is barely audible.

“For you.” He confirms.

Your thumb caresses the bottle, a floodgate of trauma threatens to break through the dam you’ve built to keep it in. You look up, wanting to thank him, but your voice seems lost when you see him, the hurt boy that he had locked in too, finally being allowed out to play, not a care in the world as you see him pout his lips to blow a bubble.

And for the first time in forever you want to be that free too.

  “Bet I can make bigger bubbles than you,” Simon challenges you with a playful sparkle in his eyes.

You loved him for it. You both knew the burden you both carried, and because of that the two of you could help the other when the load became too heavy. You had been so grateful that he had invited you. All of their teammates had families to go home to. But not Simon, not you.

"Nuh uh." You laughed as you twisted open the bottle. "I'll beat you to it." His gaze rests on you with a mixture of tenderness and protectiveness. Your days together felt like a bubble of happiness and safety, in and out of the base. For all the trauma you have both endured, your time together here felt like the true haven you both deserved.

"Yeah? Well I'm a trained soldier." He chuckles in response to you competition. Your eyes were like the sun reflecting on a tranquil pond, something he could look at for hours.

"So am I smartass." You snicker. "Or did you happen to forget that we're both soldiers." You take a deep breath, trying to blow the biggest bubble, but yours is way smaller than his.

Simon laughs as you blow your tiny bubble, his own being so much bigger than yours. A warm gaze falls on you as you concentrates on the task. He chuckles as he watches your lips curl into a smile, and his eyes linger on them for a moment longer before returning to your eyes. The SAS soldier in you wants to compete with him, wants to be the very best at everything, including this. But there is just something about his childlike gaze, how enthusiastic he gets about blowing a bigger bubble that you let it slide. Let him have this.

"Guess you win this one." You chuckle, as you lay down in the grass, letting yourself be surrounded by the green cloud of innocence.

The corner of his lips tugs upwards as he sees you laying down in the grass next to him. He gazes upon you. How could anyone be so perfect? He always denied those feelings for you, but he had fallen for you, face first.

He lets out a content sigh, a feeling rising within him that he has never experienced before. He's found his place here. Beside you in the midst of the green paradise. You’re his sanctuary.

In response you pat the grass next to you. “C’me here.” You mutter. “It is comfier than the beds on base.” You say with a chuckle.

Simon lays down beside you, your bodies touching as he gazes up at the sun's warmth and the billowing clouds. His eyes linger on your fingers caressing the grass until they meet with your gaze, your eyes locking for a long moment before he tilts back his head toward the sky. "Mm," he hums in agreement, the two of you soaking in the tranquil atmosphere of the moment together.

You nudge him, before you point at the blue sky. "Could be me. But that cloud looks like an elephant." A soft smile crosses his lips as he feels your fingers touch his skin. He turns his head to gaze back at the sky, looking for the animal-shaped cloud. Your comment draws a soft chuckle from him.

"I see it too...and that one looks a bit like a mouse...do you see it?" You tilt your head, narrowing your eyes, but then you see it.

"Yes!" You exclaimed. "A teeny tiny mouse." It is peaceful, the sun on your faces, the smell of grass, and no worries.

His gaze remains on the sky while he feels you nudging against him once again. He glances at you with the corner of his eyes and sees how excited you are.

Just as he opens his mouth to speak, his eyes flick back to the sky as his lips curve into a bemused smile.

"You'll never guess what that one looks like..." he whispers to you, gesturing to a particular cloud.

A penis. It looks like a penis.

And you two don't even have to say a thing, you can see the teenage boy within him, the one that finds poop jokes and farts funny. The one that he never got to be. The moment you make eye contact a bravo of laughter is heard. The belly laugh kind. As if a penis shaped cloud is the funniest thing the both of you had ever seen.

And in that moment it was..

His face breaks out into a wide grin as he turns to face you and your eyes meet.

A moment of mutual understanding is created as you immediately catches his meaning. You’re both grown adults, but in that second you’re just like your teenage selves making jokes about the human anatomy. It's one of those moments that are only shared between the two of them; no one else will ever understand.

Your laughter echoes throughout the tranquil paradise. In that singular moment, nothing matters but the joy between the two of you.

It had been a long, long time since you laughed so hard you couldn't breathe, the muscles in your abdomen protesting against the fun you have.

"Oh my god” You snicker. "Jezus Christ Simon, I'll never be able to look at a cloud again." Another laugh erupts from Simon as he turns to lay face up, his arms extended above his head. He gazes up at the sky, his expression light and carefree. "That's not the only one," he remarks with a cheeky grin as he motions to another cloud further away. It resembled a pair of balls.

"It doesn't seem like we're the only immature adults here," he chuckles as the childish laughs fill the air once more.

Did they resemble balls? Barely.

Was it enough to set the two soldier off again? Absolutely.

As if the Gods wanted you to catch up on all the innocent fun the both of you had missed in life. Laughter fills the air again, mixing with the soft summer breeze, the sound of birds chirping, it is almost perfect. Laughter turns into childish giggles as the both of you point at every pair of phallic-shaped clouds in the sky, the humour growing more and more infantile. It feels as if either of you have regressed all the way back to being school children having a giggle over nothing.

Even if the laughter is a bit too loud, neither seem to care. The innocence and joy drowns out the noises of the world around you, allowing you to be the immature brats both of you always wanted to be. It has been a while since the both of you had been this relaxed and it is clear that you both needed it. You can't hold it when he starts to laugh so hard he starts to snort. It causes you to wheeze, making the both of you laugh even harder, to the point that you’re both laughing like a seal.

"Oww," he groans as he clutches at his sides, tears welling up in his eyes from the laughing.

Eventually, the laughter fades and is reduced to nothing but snickers, the two of you catching your breath. Everything around you was still in motion, but the two of you. Only your giggles and wheezes interrupted the serene atmosphere.

The laughter eventually dies out, the clouds long gone, and after a few deep breaths you’re both back to adults again.

You look at Simon, a smile on your face. "Thank you for inviting me here.” You say, as you get up on your elbows. “So, who is going to cook tonight?” Simon's gaze follows you as you sits up on your elbows. You’re beautiful to look at in your natural state.

"I'm cooking," he replies with a mischievous smirk as he rolls onto his side to face you.

"Are you ready for a fine meal of beans and toast?" he chides with a slight grin. You can’t help but laugh at his choice of food. “Beans and toast? Can’t wait to have some British delicacy.”

“Says the person whose national dish is stempot.” He scoffed and for a second you’re lost in what he means.

And then it clicks.

“Oh my god. It’s called stamppot, and for your information, boiled potatoes, with boiled kale, gravy and a sausage tastes amazing.” You correct him.

But the look on his face is horrified. “You eat that?”

“I eat MRE’s.” You shrug.

"Well you're going to love my cooking then," Simon says with a confident smirk. "Come on, let’s get going." Simon gets himself up off the ground as he offers his hand to you. This paradise was a place he could share with just you. Nothing and no one else was allowed.

As you start to walk back, he notices how warm and comfortable your hand is, and it feels right to be holding your hand as you journey back to the cabin together.

You are in no hurry to let go off his hand. Your gaze falling on the nature behind him, and then the small, yet cozy cabin in front of you. A nice little get away from the army.

You have to let go off his hand when you reach the cabin, and you kicks off your shoes when you get inside. "Do you need any help in the kitchen?" You ask.

Simon is the first to kick off his boots and he sets them next to yours. The cabin was simple and quaint, as if to be a home away from home. It felt like a perfect respite for the two of you. The silence between you two was never awkward as each knew how the other was feeling.

"Nah, I'm alright." He looks over at you, his eyes searching yours for a moment before he smiles. He feels an inner peace being with you; no matter what was happening in the army, it meant nothing with you by his side.

"Can't wait for that top notch British cuisine." You teased him as you sat down on the couch. It had been a while since somebody cared for you, and you could get used to it, especially if it was someone you trusted so dearly as Simon. "I'll cook tomorrow."

He places a bowl of toast and beans on a small wooden table in front of him, signalling you to come sit with him. The scent of toasted bread fills the air. If there was one comfort of home he could give you, it would be this.

"You'll love it," he assures you as he spoons some of the beans into his mouth. "I'm a professional chef." He chuckles again. "You're as good as a chef as you are a driver." You tease him, and you get yourself some toast and beans, after a bite you had to admit it wasn't that bad. After all, you both had eaten worse in the field. "I have to give it to you, this isn't so bad."

"Harsh," he chuckles as he listens to your comment about his driving skills.

Simon's eyes light up as you make the comment about his cooking. To hear his cooking wasn't so bad was a huge boost for his confidence; for someone like him, he never knew if anyone would enjoy the things he created. "You see?" He says while nodding in agreement. "I am a top-tier cook."

You could see his eyes light up and it made you smile. "Since you cooked, I'll do the dishes, okay?" You said. "We can split the chores."

“You're offering to do the dishes?" He replies with a faint grin, his eyes still glued on yours. "Are you feeling alright?" Simon chuckles and shakes his head as he finishes up his food and plate. "Well alright, I'll take you up on that offer."

He watches you finish up your food before he leaves the dishes to you, sitting down on the couch, placing his feet on the ottoman. A contented sigh escapes his mouth as he leans sideways and supports his head on his hand.

There is a light spring in your step as you gets to the kitchen. Jokes on him, as beans and toast doesn't require much use of the kitchen at all.

With a soft hum you wash and dry the plates and the pot that he had used, before you returns to the living room.

Simon watches you with his dark eyes, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink. He didn't want to admit it, but he always had a soft spot for you and seeing you taking care of everything with a smile on your face only amplified those feelings. It made him crave a family of his own, love to come home to every day.

He sits up on the couch as you walk back into the living room and he gestures to the sofa. "Come here.. come sit."

You comply to his request, it is soft and cozy inside, as the darkness of the beginning night cloaks the cabin in darkness.

"I was thinking." You began. "There is a small lake near the cabin. If the weather is nice, maybe we can go for a swim tomorrow?"

Simon's gaze was locked on yours, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink as you mention a swim. A small smile appears on his lips as he thinks about it.

"That actually sounds like a great idea," he responds warmly. The fresh air alongside the warmth of the sun would feel divine tomorrow. The sun on your bare skin, the feeling of the water, it brought a smile on your face. It had been such a long time since you’ve actually enjoyed swimming, those exercises in the army didn’t count in your book.

"That is settled then." You said, as you got up from the couch.

"I'm heading to bed. Goodnight.” You make your way to the guestroom. Simon had been right, you had given yourself the smaller room, and in your mind it did make sense, after all, he had invited you to this little cabin, it would seem rude to hog the bigger bedroom.

He watches you get up from the couch, his eyes lingering on you for a split second longer before he gets up as well. He takes a moment to stretch his shoulders and neck as he hears your footsteps towards the guestroom.

"Goodnight." Simon smiles as he too makes his way to the bedroom.

It had been a long, busy month in the army but being isolated in this wilderness with you had been a relief. It was a feeling of being home. This vacation had been exactly what he needed to recharge his batteries. It took a while for Simon to fall asleep, but he did eventually succumb to the lure of the night's peace.

Hours later, the first light of the morning sun began to trickle through the curtains, slowly filling the room with a warm glow. Simon slowly woke up, and he was greeted by the sight of the sunshine that filled his senses. That's when he had remembered that you did indeed have a plan for this morning and the thought of swimming with you exited him.

The subtle, gentle rays of sun woke you up too, and you took your time, as you stretched your limbs after sleeping.

You went to take a shower. Letting the water run over your body before you dried yourself and got dressed, wearing your bikini under your shirt and shorts.

You smiled while you walked in to the kitchen, while you had been starting your day, Simon had taken it on to himself to prepare breakfast.

Toast, butter, jam, breakfast of the champions and you keep your smile as you sit down. “Good morning.”

Simon turns around to see you enter the kitchen and his face brightens. He can't help but admire how beautiful you look with the sun shining on your face.

"Morning, darling," he says with a smile as he places the plate of toast in front of you. He takes the place opposite you at the table.

Darling.

"So," he says with a small grin as he places a jar of jam right next to the toast. "Did you sleep well?" "I slept amazing." You answer. "I was knocked out cold within minutes."

You place a piece of toast on your plate, before you butter it. "How did you sleep?" You ask, before you take the little jar of jam.

"Pretty good, it was nice to wake up to this sunshine," he replies simply, looking through the window at the outside world. He takes a slice of toast and covers it with a butter and a small amount of jam. The sweetness on his tongue compliments the butter on the bread as he takes a bite of the toast.

He nods as he chews his food, taking in the warm feeling of the morning sun on his skin. "So tell me, are you still up for that swim we spoke of?"

"I agree. It is better than being woken up by screaming soldiers across the hall." You chuckled, you take a bite of your toast, before you nod. You pull away a bit of your shirt, revealing your collarbone and the string of your bikini. “One step ahead of ya.”

He looks at you and sees that you are all prepared, and his eyes glance at the area where your shirt had previously covered.

"Wow, you wasted no time." He chuckles to himself before he finishes up what's left of his toast. "I guess we better get going."

You take the final bite of your toast too before you bring the plates to the kitchen.

"It's a short walk. So let's go yeah." You nod before you pop on your shoes and you pack a small bag with some beach towels and sunscreen.

"Are you ready?" You ask, as he gets out of his room, dressed in his swimming trunks and a casual shirt.

"Yes, I'm ready," he says while putting on his shoes. "I'll carry the bag for you." He offers you his hand. "Shall we?"

Such a gentleman.

You hand him the bag, and you take his hand, not thinking much about it as the both of you walk to the lake. It is a beautiful sunny day, perfect for a swim.

He takes the bag with one hand as the both of you start to make your way towards the lake, his free hand now holding hands with you. He notices the different heights once more, and it only makes him feel even more protective of you. The sunlight dances in and out of the trees, creating a nice natural filter for the sunlight as they walk along their narrow path. He looks down at you, studying your figure as you walk.

"Tell me, what's your favourite spot in the whole world?"

You let the question linger in the air. It is a good one. You both share a horrid childhood, no family to look forward too. Just an empty apartment whenever you’re on leave.

"I.. I don't know." You stuttered. "I think this little cabin would be it." You swallow the lump in your throat. "And for you?" The walk had given him time to think deeply about your question. Simon could relate to that feeling of not having a place to call home other than a small cabin. He too had never had the chance to build up memories in his youth in one singular location.

"For me, I think I would agree with you," he responds as you reach the lake. The calm waters of the lake sparkled as the early morning sun bounced off of it.

"This is my favourite place in the world right now." A sense of peace fills his words.

His comment gets rewarded with a smile from you. "It is really nice here." You said, as you start to undress, so the both of you can go into the water.

"Makes me forget about it all." You sigh.

You dip your toe into the water. It was colder than you expected. But before you can say anything, two strong, warm arms get wrapped around your waist and you get pulled into the water.

He takes in the surroundings of the lake and the trees that surround you and he looks at you as you starts to undress yourself and he doesn't say a word. Just as you starts to dip your toe into the water, Simon's arms wrap around you and he pulls you into the lake with him. His strong arms embrace you tightly and the water splashes around them both as you are pulled down with him.

"Having a nice little dip?" He chuckles, his eyes locked onto you.

There it was again, that boyish grin on his face, not a worry in his eyes. A side of Simon you cherished so much.

"You absolute dickhead!" You laugh, your hair soaked by the water.Although the water wasn't half as bad. You could feel his warm hands on your waist, and you smiled.

"Oh, I should strangle you for this."

Your laugh sends a spark of glee down his spine and his dark eyes show his feelings of contentment. Your comment only makes that feeling grow stronger. Simon laughs as his head tips backward, his eyes closed as the sun warms his face. "There are worse things you could strangle me over."

He looks at you and his eyes linger on your hair. "Your hair would make for a good grip."

With a sly smile, he closes his eyes once more and takes in a deep breath of the fresh air. He enjoys spending time with you.

"My hair would make a good grip."  You repeat. "Are you flirting with me Simon, or are you threatening me?"

You had been dancing around the fine line of being friends or more for a while now. But it felt right. His hands on your waist. The cold water surrounding them, but you were worried. Worried that if that line was crossed, everything would be too different.

"Just a little bit of both," he replies with a smirk.

Simon's eyes linger on the water before he raises his gaze back to your eyes.

The way the both of you danced around your feelings was not unusual, you had both been through a lot in your childhood and both were reluctant to let someone completely in your heart. But this felt right, the comfort that you provided felt like something missing in his life. He wanted more of that, he wanted to take this dancing around these feelings, to the next level. You playfully roll your eyes at him. "You're horrible."

You don't dare to, not yet. It feels too dangerous, so instead you take his hands off your waist. "C'mon, we didn't get here to just float." You said, trying to change the subject.

"I'm not that bad, darling," he says quietly with a sly grin.

Darling.

He doesn't bother fighting back as you removes his hands, his eyes are still on you as he nods and agrees.

He starts to swim over to the shore on the other side of the lake. His body moves slowly and gracefully through the water, his arms making smooth movements and his legs following.

A soft splash from the water can be heard as he breaks the surface and takes in a deep breath of air, his eyes still on you.

And you just look at him while he swims. A goddamn work of art. And you curse yourself for not being able to let him in. Not just yet.

You make eye contact when he comes up for air again, and you go underwater too. The cold water feels refreshing against your skin, it makes you forget all your feelings for a moment.

Your swim is graceful, matching his in its elegance. You glide through the water like a dancer, your frame moving with ease and precision. His eyes track your movements carefully, admiring you with each movement. The water feels refreshing, the cold temperatures soothing some of his worries away. His eyes trail your body as you swim, his mind picturing you lying next to him in bed. He feels his heart beating faster as he feels himself drawn to you like gravity, each passing second growing the intensity of the feeling within him.

There the two of you go again, dancing around this invisible boundary again. You looks at him as if he is the most divine being you have ever seen. And in his eyes.. in his eyes you saw a future. So what was withholding you? What was holding you back?

His eyes linger on you as a light smile spreads on his lips. Your beauty is a work of art, your frame moving with such grace in the water. The two of you are so in-sync, in tune with one another.

You are what his life misses; you are what he needs. Your soft touches, your words of comfort, and your calming presence. His feelings for you have grown stronger in these few short days, and it is only getting stronger with every passing minute. Everything about this feels right with you, everything except a single word. Playing with fire. That is how it feels. A forbidden joy. Thrilling and exciting to do, yet it felt dangerous. You could feel your heart starting to beat faster, your knees getting weak whenever you looked at him. You made eye contact with him. "Maybe we should go back and make some lunch." You mutter meekly

His body reacts instantly when you make eye-contact with him. A thrill runs through his veins, his heart rate increases rapidly and he feels an almost overwhelming rush of emotion go through his entire body.

"Yes, I'm starving, and I'm sure you are too." His voice is slightly raspy due to the emotion he's feeling at the moment. The moment feels right, but Simon refrains from making a move. He still feels the barrier between the two of you, and he can sense that you do too.

The swim back to shore is quiet. A little too quiet. A perfect moment ruined because neither dared to cross the line. "I'll cook." You eventually break the silence. "Anything you fancy for lunch?" You take the large towel you had packed, wrapping it around yourself. The sun would dry you just fine. You swing the bag over your shoulder. Waiting for him.

"Hmmm..." He takes a moment to think about your question.

"Well..." Simon lets his voice trail off as he thinks, "Perhaps a nice, juicy steak with some mashed potatoes?" His mind wanders elsewhere for a split second as he imagines him and you sitting at a table and eating the meal you’ve prepared together.

He sighs as the moment together is interrupted yet again. You were so close, but so far away.

"That's quite the lunch." You laugh. "But sure."

"We need to do some grocery shopping later today. That fridge is getting more empty by the second." You add "And I can't have you starving." It’s a desperate attempt to fill in the awkward silence.

"Ah right, we'll need to make sure to do some shopping, the cupboards are looking bare." Simon answers, noticing your attempt at conversation but not calling you out on it.

He too finds that the silence between the two of you is getting more and more awkward. Together you had been so close to sharing a moment and it just fizzled out. This is driving Simon insane, it's like the universe is preventing him from having you for himself.

He lets out a small sigh, taking in the warm sun that now shines on his skin.

You get the hint, and you stay quiet for the rest of the walk back, not wanting to make it worse. You open the door to the cabin, before you set the bag back on the ground and you takes off your flipflops.

"Would you mind putting the towels in the laundry?" You asked, as you took off your towel and handed it to him, you put your shirt and shorts back on, it felt wrong to be in a bikini in front of him.

He takes the towel as offered and nods. Simon doesn't comment on the fact that you both feel awkward, that would only make the situation even more uncomfortable.

He heads over to the laundry and puts the towels inside of the washing machine. The sound of the water in the machine is comforting, and it drowns out the silence a little bit.

Simon returns to the cabin once he is done, trying to think of something, anything to say to you. But the silence is deafening.

You don’t dare to say something, worried you’ll say the wrong thing, at the wrong time.

It is awkward when you take the ingredients out of the fridge and you start to peel the potatoes.

You turn around when you hears Simon snicker. "Remember those clouds from yesterday?" Simon says. And it’s enough to make you laugh too. Of course. The clouds that looked like a penis and the ones that looked like balls.

His snicker, and the memories that it brings back, breaks the awkward silence that pervaded the cabin. Your laugh catches him off guard, as he laughs as well.

A small smile comes over his face, and just like that, all the awkwardness that hung in the air dissipates. You both share a look of gratitude to one another, the awkward silence replaced with a comfortable calm.

You have your ingredients displayed on the countertops, as you wait for the water for the potatoes to boil. The least you could do was give him some freshly cooked food.

Your hands rest on the countertop. "How would you like your steak?"

"Medium-rare if that's alright" Simon answers as he stands behind you, his presence causing your muscles to tighten.

He reaches over your shoulder, adjusting the stove's flame to his liking. The warmth of the fire and your closeness causes his heart to pound against his chest.

He's unsure what to do, he wants to kiss the back of your neck, to wrap his arms around your waist and hold you close. But he's fearful of what might happen if he makes the first move.

"Sure." You answer. "It’s your meal after all."

You freeze when he reaches over your shoulder to adjust the flame. You are met with his eyes when you turn around, essentially to send him away from the kitchen, but there is just something about those eyes that keep you still.

He looks down at you, his eyes looking straight into your soul, taking everything in.

The moment comes to a halt when you speaks once again, trying to put up a wall between you two once more. Simon feels his heart pounding hard with every beat, every minute the two spend together makes him fall for you even more.

His body is at its wit's end, he can't take it anymore. He has to know. He has to know if you feel the same way.

He has to know now.

You can feel yourself getting more and more nervous, you mind running overtime.

What if this would fuck up the friendship? What if he would realize how broken you really were? What if he would leave? What if Simon would go back to the stoic soldier you knew to be?

It was too risky.

A wave of courage runs through his body like lightning. He has to take the chance. His body can't take much more of this.

Simon moves his hands up toward your arms, his fingers finding their way behind your elbows and pulling you towards him. He wraps his arms around your waist, making sure to get you close enough to feel the pounding in his chest.

He bends down as much as he can, his face close to your neck. His lips inch closer and closer to your skin as he whispers his next words, "Do you feel it?"

Those words send a shiver down your spine.

Yes, yes you felt it, and it terrified you. You knew that once you crossed the line, there would be no going back. You couldn't go back to being just friends.

"I feel it."

Simon can hear your breathing speed up as you get closer and closer. Your heart is pounding the same as his, the feeling is mutual.

This was it.

He moves his head closer, slowly inching towards you. Your lips are a centimetre apart. Both of your eyes closed, waiting to seal your fate.

Your lips finally make contact. He pulls you closer and his arms tighten around your waist, pulling you into a long and deep kiss.

He tasted amazing, and your worries melt away. A feeling in your stomach that tells you everything will be okay.

Your hand moves to the back of his neck, before you pull away from the kiss.

"You're my favourite place."

Simon pulls you closer to him for a second kiss, before parting ways for air once again.

His smile is bigger than ever, he can't wipe the grin off his face. He feels every emotion at the same time. Joy, passion, love, confusion, and the need to hold you close.

"You're mine too."

The feeling of your kiss on his lips, your arms wrapped around his neck, and your warmth so close to him sends him into heaven. He feels content, everything wrong with the world is suddenly right again.

[jaketsparrow]

Tending (Part Two!)

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f! reader

Word Count: 9.2K

Preview: Communication is hard, trying to convince Jake to be yours? Even harder. He’s bringing you further into his mysterious world, leaving you on the edge for more. Sneaky encounters, waiting games, and surprises come your way. 

A/N: I’m so happy that all of you lovely people enjoyed the first part. I wasn’t sure originally if it was worth writing part 2, but I hope you like where I take the story!

MINORS DNI

MENTIONS OF/ TW: Oral (m/f!) receiving, dirty talk, name-calling, p in v sex, teasing/edging, explicit sexual content, *some* impact play, dom/sub, mature themes, unprotected sex, fingering (f! receiving), language, choking, safe words, public-ish activities… Yet again, it's filthy (IMO). Sorry if I missed anything! 

Tending Part 1

Jake’s hands feel too good over your body. They feel even better when you’re in a place where you know he shouldn’t be touching you like this. He smells so good this close; he has a fresh scent of cinnamon trying to cover the musk of his work clothes. You can’t tell how long your face has been attached to his, probably only a little longer than a minute, but it felt like forever. 

His hands are pulling on your hair, not in a hurtful way, but just enough to send tingles through your body. Your hands are in his shirt, embracing him, trying to get as close to him as humanly possible. You can feel the excitement growing in his pants, pressing up against you.

He pulls away slowly, pulling your lip with his teeth as he does, slowly releasing you from his grasp. You let out a soft whimper of enjoyment. He’s taking you further into his world and you’re ready to chase him through it. 

“Hold on a sec,” he says, pulling you backward with him until his back is pressed against the office door. He reaches behind himself to turn the lock. “Can’t have anyone see the filthy shit my little slut is about to do.” 

Ugh. Who would have thought being called filthy slut would make you buckle. Clearly, he knew and was waiting for you to take claim to your new name. You laugh softly, running your hands around his body, looking down at his cock bulging out of his pants. You know what he wants you to do, but you also know he enjoys this bratty little persona you’re taking to. 

“Hmmm, and what am I going to do?” 

He pulls the hand that was sitting on the knob towards your hip, gripping you tightly, adding to the already forming collection of love marks he’s left on you. 

“You seriously didn’t think you were gonna get away with all of this behavior without making me feel better, did you?” He asks, staring down at you. The dominance was in full effect now. 

“Oh sir, of course not,” you reply, “I just wanted to hear you ask for it…”

He laughs. His free hand moves up to your neck and holds it firmly. You try to take in a deep breath of air before he’s fully wrapped around you. He shakes you softly, “I don’t beg baby,” He releases his grip from your neck and you take in as much air as you can, gasping at the air. “On your knees for me… Now.”

You follow his command and lower yourself onto the floor. Planting your eyeline directly in front of his cock. You reach your hand up to it, running your hands over his jeans, feeling the mass that sits just behind his zipper. You take your other hand to relieve him of his pants, but he grabs your wrist. 

“Beg for it.” He states, looking down at you with demanding eyes. 

“What?”

“Beg for my cock… You want it don’t you?” You look at him perplexed for a moment, confused thinking that he was the one that wanted this. But then you remember the games you have to play. “Color?” He asks, concerned after reading your face.

“Just like a stoplight, okay baby?” You think you know what he means, but he still explains it to you, “Red means stop, yellow means you want to slow down or you want time, and green…”

You collect yourself and pull back into your role, “Green.” He smiles back at you and gestures his hand out for you to continue. “Please sir, please let me suck your cock. I promise I’m going to make you so happy... Please, please I need it. I need to make you feel good… I’m so sorry for being a bad girl,”

“That's right, you were a bad girl,” He’s running his fingers through your hair, showing you brief comfort before the chaos comes, “So you’re gonna suck my cock real good and think about what you’ve done, okay?”

You nod your head and proceed with your mission. He takes the hand he was holding and guides it to the buckle of his belt. You unbuckle it and pull it off the loops, tossing it to the side, jingling on its way to the floor.

Your moves are slow, calculated, and bordering on teasing. He’s watching you closely, making sure you do exactly everything he needs. You unbutton his jeans, and slowly slide down the zipper, causing him to almost completely jump out of his jeans. 

You slowly move your hands over his bulge, teasing him, edging him, probably driving him fucking mad. You take both of your hands and rest your fingers underneath the waistband of his boxer briefs. You look up to him for approval, and he nods back at you. You have to use some force to pull them down, slowly revealing him further. He has this amazing happy trail that is obviously well groomed, teasing you down to the start of his shaft. Finally, you unveil his cock and it looks just as fucking beautiful as it did the previous night. 

You wrap your hand around him firmly, feeling his soft skin and the pounding erection he carries. He’s already starting to drip pre-cum, and you know your teasing is already speeding up the timeline. You open your mouth and let him enter you, trying not to take him all in at once; not that you could ever do that on your own anyways. You glide his cock in and out of your wet smooth mouth, and he lets soft quiet moans escape his lips. 

You can get a better look at him as you’re playing this slow angle. His eyes are closed in pleasurable agony. He slides his hands up to move his hair out of his face and looks back down on you with that sexy fucking smirk. He’s caught you now. 

“Oh,” He moans, reaching a free hand to grab a patch of your hair, “You think you’re in control, huh?

Fuck. 

He pulls you closer to his body, sending the full mass into the back of your throat, fully gagging on him. He holds you there for a moment, letting you feel all of him in you. He pulls you back out, leaving a pool of spit around your mouth. He is objectifying you, letting you know that you are his toy for pleasure. 

“I’m still in control,” He states, “Don’t think you can outsmart me, baby.”

You’re only able to muster out a soft ‘please’ before he places himself back in your mouth. He’s rougher with you than last night, because now he knows you really want this, this version of him. He does have all the control and you want him to have it. He’s using his force to push you as far as you can take him. You brace yourself, holding onto the backs of his thighs. 

At first, you try to hold back the gagging noises that are coming out, but he keeps pushing your head further, signaling he wants to hear them.

Just like last night, he wants to hear your struggle. Although, you’re not entirely struggling, because feeling him is so fucking invigorating. Hearing him moan through your hard work is a praise of its own. 

“Fuck baby,” He whines, “My little whores taking good care of me, huh? She must feel really sorry for how rude she was acting, huh? 

He pulls you away for a moment to look at you, expecting a response, “Yes sir,” 

“Good girl.”

He places you back onto him, this time, less forcefully, letting you take back some of your breath. You take your hand around him to help your aching throat and try to prevent him from shoving you further. Sliding and swirling your fingers around his wet cock. He exhales loudly, trying to prevent himself from the pornographic sounds he wishes he could make. You steady your speed and prepare yourself for his finish. 

“Oh fuck,” He moans between hushed breaths, “Fuck baby I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum…”

Seconds later, he's filling your mouth with his sweet warm cum. You try your best to brace yourself from any sort of gagging and swallow immediately. You do a slow few soft pumps to ease him out of orgasm, sending him into an overstimulating shock. You pull yourself away from him and look up at him. His eyes are closed, his mouth barely hanging open, trying to compose himself. 

“Where the fuck are they?” You hear Chris yell from the dining room. 

“Fuck,” You say, knowing you’re already on thin ice with Chris from this morning. You reach over to Jake’s belt and pass it to him as he's quickly trying to shove his already sensitive member back into his pants. 

“Why the fuck! Is this door? Locked?!” Chris shrieks, banging on the door. 

Jake finishes the latch on his belt and unlocks the door. You wipe your mouth with your arm and hide it behind your back. Jake opens the door. 

“Hey man, chill out,” Jake coos to your already heated manager. 

“Fucking chill out?” He seethes, and points to you “This one was already late this morning, and on fucking the verge of being fired, what the fuck is going on?”

“Listen,” Jake turns to stand in front of you, protecting you from the line of fire Chris is throwing, “I told her at the bar she wouldn’t have to tip me out any extra for coming in, and she was fighting me on that, so I tried to come back here to talk to her about it. I didn’t want our finances to be talked about in the bar,”

“There’s one fucking table out there? Are you really concerned that they’re listening so closely to your fucking wages?!” Chris barks back. 

“Look, just trying to be a nice guy, okay? She didn’t want to come chat, so I pulled her back here. Check the tapes. It’s not her fault.”

“Fine, fucking whatever! You better not be doing fucking coke in my office!”

“It’s three in the afternoon,” You chime in, “Why would we be doing coke in your office?”

“Jesus, I don’t know, you’re acting like you did something. Just fucking get back out there!” He says. 

Jake leads the way past Chris and you follow behind him, waiting to be out of earshot before you giggle. Jake slows his stride to walk beside you in the hallway, “Talk about a close finish huh?” He jokes. 

You blush looking back at him. You can tell the rush of the situation probably turned him on all over again. He’s smiling that same devious smile he did yesterday. He loves the trouble we make together. 

➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-

Friday comes along slowly. Waiting for your next chance to see him or talk to him proved to be the worst way to pass the time. You realized you had to relax with any sort of obsession forming over him; clearly, it was something he wasn’t ready for. Plus, he’s right, this chase is extremely intoxicating. You don’t want to assume you’re his only pursuit, but your heart skips thinking about him wanting you. 

It feels like middle school all over again. He’s your classroom crush who you hope you get paired up with, or who will sit next to you on the school bus on your field trip. Catching goofy glances across biology class. Waiting for him to ask you to be project partners, too scared to ask out of fear of rejection. Texting back and forth, but always waiting long enough that you wouldn’t seem desperate. That fear of crushing still sitting inside you from over a decade ago prevented you from texting him first. 

The shift went completely normal after that. Jake would shoot you quick smirks when you picked up your drinks, and he even made a special one just for you that sat in front of your usual seat. He made sure not to touch that nearly empty whiskey you had drank with him, instead it was something light & fruity, but you couldn’t quite tell what it was. After a few quick sips between picking up orders, you finally asked him. 

“Oh, it's called a…” He leaned in close to tell you this, “I’m sorry for disappointing you,”

You lean back to take another sip, “Oh yeah, I can definitely sense some notes of apology in here,”

He laughs and shoos you from the bar. “C’mon, you can drink your ‘apologies’ later,”

You made out pretty good that night. The regulars said you had a different energy than usual. Hmmm, wonder why they would say that… 

Six o’clock came around much faster than you would have liked. Jake was finishing up his orders and cleaning glasses. Your hangover was finally out of your brain, and you could get home to decompress after the wild past 24 hours. You walk into the back hallway and knock on Chris’ door. 

You approach his desk, “Hey Chris,” You say sheepishly. 

“What?” He says, not even returning a look. 

“I’m sorry for today, I promise it won't happen again. You know I’m usually not like this,” 

“Yeah I know, Jake told me you had car troubles last night and you were trying to get help this morning.”

“Huh?”

Chris looks up at you, “Don’t worry about it, it happens, just make sure to call next time.”

You nod your head and walk out the back door. It’s already dark out and a cool breeze swishes past the door. You brace yourself for the chill. You look up from your huddle to see Jake leaning over your car door, arms crossed waiting for you. How fucking cliché. He smiles when he notices you. 

“Yeah, so your car should be all good by now, right?” He asks, patting the hood with certainty. 

“Jake,” You walk up to him, arms crossed, slightly on defense, “I can handle my own, okay?”

“I know,” He grabs your arms and rubs them, a smile procuring on his face, “But wasn’t it so much better when I handled it?”

You scoff. His confidence is a special kind. “Maybe,” You admit. 

He steps back to open your car door and waves you in, “Your chariot awaits sunshine,”

You drop your arms and walk around him to get into the driver's seat. “Thank you… Sir,” He hangs his arm over the frame of the door, not saying anything, but just surveying you. 

“You’re gonna regret teasing me some day,” Jake closes the door and smirks at you. He turns away and walks towards the convertible, pulling his hair back into a low-hanging bun. You watch him for a moment, intrigued by his swagger.

He opens the car door and slides himself into the driver’s seat. He pulls a polarized pair of sunglasses from the dash and gently slides them onto his face. He doesn’t even look at you as he peels out of the employee lot. Riding away like some fucking modern-day mysterious prince charming. 

The afternoon hits and the absolute boredom is starting to kick in. When you’re not working, you usually love to be alone in your cute cave of an apartment. It’s littered with plants and colorful knick-knacks that you’ve collected from thrift shops over the years. You used to spend hours counting all the swirls on the kitchen tile, or sitting looking out the window watching the cars go by. Now you’re plagued with desire. Your brain is filled to the brim with the filth of Jake and his filthy little games, and how you're his filthy little… Fuck.

You’re tempted to treat yourself to some afternoon fun but are apprehensive after knowing what his face feels like up against your pussy. 

He's exploring you with his tongue, eager to lick every inch of you. You let out a wild gasping moan. He’s better than you’d imagined. 

You don’t want to forget all of these little moments, but they really are starting to interfere with your functioning. You pull yourself from the couch and decide that a shower really is in order at this point. You’ve been far too exhausted from all the excitement, and truly out of it to take care of yourself the way you should be.

You tiptoe your way into the bathroom and start the shower. Undressing yourself piece by piece until you're standing nude, waiting for the steam to fill up the room. When the water finally reaches the preferred scalding temperature, you step in.  

It always felt so good to be clean. Showers are a weird new start, washing away the gross and allowing new touches, new scents, and new fabrics to hold you. Except this shower wouldn’t be washing away some of the touches left behind. You look down to your hip to find light finger-shaped bruises imprinted on you. Memories of Jake. 

He releases his hold from your neck so he can use both of his hands to force you closer to him. His hands forming bruising holds on your hips. 

You run your hands over the bruises and silently praise that they were given to you. You soak your body entirely in the heat of the water, lathering yourself with lavender soap. You won’t be able to wash away the torment of waiting, but you will definitely try. You move on to your hair, running your fingers through it, pushing the lather deep into your scalp. 

He’s comforting you with his control. His hair becomes entwined further in your fingers, being pulled by your tight fist. 

The memory washes over you, loosening the suds from your own hair. When you finally clear your head, you pull yourself out from the stream of water and shut off the faucet. Stepping onto the cold tile is once again sobering. You wrap your steaming skin in your robe to try and hold the heat in. This is always the worst part about showering.

You open the bathroom door and walk out into the crisp apartment air. You opt out of immediately changing into pajamas and walk to the couch. 

He uses his free hand to press down on the back of your head, and your face into the cloth couch; bracing himself for a deeper pounding.

These impure thoughts are going to be the death of you. 

You relax onto the couch where he once sat and sprawl out, trying to get comfortable. You pull out the remote from the crevice between the arm and cushion and put on shitty trash TV. This ought to be the remedy. Mind-numbing reality entertainment. Watching other people seduce their crushes, making stupid mistakes, creating their own drama. It's really invigorating shit. But it all ends up being the same after you’ve seen so many. This person sleeps with that person and this person feels left out, this person is kicked off; it all repeats. It's all manufactured. 

After a few episodes, the mind-numbing really starts to kick in, you’re invested in that repeating plot, feeling like you’re living in a similar time as these stars. But no matter how hard you try to fight it, it becomes so mind-numbing that you find yourself sitting deeper and deeper on the couch. Soon the blanket that sits on the top of the couch is falling over your body, beckoning the nap you so desperately need. Your eyelids get heavier and heavier, and you no longer can even hear what's happening on the TV, until you're finally… Out.

When you wake up, it's already dark out. The TV is paused, begging you to answer if you’re still watching. You sit up, easing out of your groggy sleepy state. You look around in a state of confusion and disturbance, unsure what time it is and how long you were out.

Your eyes survey the room and land on the bar cart, the bottle of whiskey sitting open still. Shit. You stand up slowly, gaining your balance, and stiffening your muscles. You walk over to the cart and forcefully twist the lid back in the bottle, letting your hand hold on. 

He releases the amber liquid into your mouth, warm from its hold. He’s so fucking…

You have to stop lingering on these moments and actually do something about it. Maybe it's the euphoric half-asleep half-awake state you’re in, but suddenly you come into a state of brave clarity. It was the long waiting game that prevented anything from happening sooner in the first place between Jake and you. You idiot! 

You go to your bedroom to pull your phone from the charger. You’d hid it in there earlier to try and prevent yourself from doing this very thing, but you were an idiot then and now you see so clearly that… 

Messages (1) 

Oh?

Jake: I hope you haven't forgotten about me yet sunshine

Fuck no you haven’t forgotten! Wait. Shit, here comes that middle school trauma again. What do you say back? 

How could I? You told me to never forget

You have no idea where this will steer the conversation, but you hope for hot filthy Jake sexts. 

Five minutes go by with no response yet, so you walk out of your room again, hoping that ungluing your eyes from the text log will elicit some sort of response. You sit at the kitchen table, nursing the puzzle you took out last night- in another failed attempt to distract yourself. Each piece is waiting for its perfect spot, to feel connected to the rest of itself, fitting perfectly inside each other…

The noises that your bodies make when they smack together is fucking filthy. Your cunt is tightening around his mass, unable to bear his pounding. 

Ding! 

It's like he can fucking sense you. You jump out of the chair so fast you nearly knock it over, running back into the bedroom; jumping over the bed to reach your phone. 

Jake: Oh righttt

Oh my god. Please say something else. How do you even answer that? 

Jake: I've been thinking a lot about you today. Can’t get the image out of my head of your pretty little face taking my cock 

Oh fuck. Your heart is pounding, hands sweating, and everything in you just dropped. That sensation he gives you… Utter magic. Butterflies are growing deep inside you; not in your heart though… 

I can still feel the bruises in my throat from taking your cock Jake: Poor little slut. Can’t take me like you want to?  Oh I can take you sir, but I prefer when you make me

Jake: You better not be asking for things you can’t handle I know I can handle it Jake: Yeah?  Jake: You like it when I fuck you like the dirty slut you are? 

Oh yes, you do. You don’t know where this side of you is coming from, this bratty, needing side of you. You had never picked Jake to have this side to him either, but I guess you bring it out in each other. 

I want you here, right now, fucking me. 

Jeez, that was desperate. Your fingers typed it out and sent it before you could realize what you were even saying. You drop your head into the comforter and let out an annoyed grumble. Now you were really being an idiot. You have to remember the chase, the fun of it all, the teasing and waiting was what he clearly wanted. 

You lift your head to look back at your phone, but no response yet. His speediness has subsided. You start to type again, trying to formulate a sentence to undo the previous, but it’s already out there, into the fucking ether of the conversation. You pull back, delete the half-written sentence, and return your head to the despairing position on the comforter. Sighing, you lift yourself back up moments later and crawl slowly to hide under the sheets.

The blank homepage of your phone illuminates your cocoon. You flash one last look at the screen before finally putting it down. You sit like this for a few minutes, reflecting under the covers. How much do you really like Jake? Do you only want this chase, or is there more of him that you also want to experience? It's time to either pull yourself back in or decide to be brave and keep the pursuit. 

Messages (0) 

No one tells you how hard it is to control yourself when you feel like absolutely falling in love. This new age of mystery and hookups has always left you feeling strange. Not that falling in love is completely out of the question with Jake, but that's something he’s clearly not ready to jump into… Yet. 

You resolve yourself yet again to distraction. Pulling your phone out to scour social media while you wait. Twenty minutes of scrolling goes by painfully slow

Ding!

Jake: Sorry to tease you, but something came up. 

Guess you were too quick to give up hope on the situation. 

Jake: Look outside 

You cautiously unfurl yourself from your cocoon and step over to the window. You move the curtains aside and peer through the glass. Your phone starts buzzing in your hand, and you lift it to see Jake’s name flashing across the screen. You slide to answer the call and bring the phone to your ear. 

“Hello Sunshine,” The velvety voice sounds just as nice through the phone as it does in person. “Look down.”

You crane your neck to look down in the parking lot. There he fucking was. Jake was standing on the sidewalk in front of his car, smiling and looking up at you. He was wearing light-wash denim jeans and another flowy shirt, this time buttoned further than the night he played. 

“Oh, hi stalker,” 

“Hey, weren’t you the one asking me to come fuck you? I believe your exact words were I need you here right now, fucking me.”

“I didn’t think you would actually come!” You say, embarrassed and ashamed for being so upset about the situation earlier. 

“Well, I can’t stay for long, but will you come let me in?”

“Oh shit, yes. Uhh,” You look down at your barely tied robe, realizing there's no way you can sneak out into the hallway like this, “Just give me a minute.”

You hang up and immediately rush over to your dresser. Quickly pulling out the first shirt and cute pajama pants you can find, not even worried about putting anything on underneath them. It was best to not keep him waiting. You turn to look at the state of your room, It’s really not that bad, but you try your best to grab items and hide them in your closet on your way out.

You run out to the apartment hallway, past the kitchen, backtracking to throw away the food wrappers you lazily left out earlier. Finally tidy enough to go let him in. 

You step into your slippers and run out as fast as you can, trying to make up for lost time by galavanting through the halls. You slow yourself as you reach the glass door separating you two. Jake already made it up the stairs to the front landing.

He’s standing looking into the parking lot, back faced against the windows adjacent to the door. You creep up to the door, slowly pushing on the latch, creaking it open just enough that he notices you’ve arrived. 

“Oh no,” You play at him,, “I’m sorry I’m already waiting on another gentleman caller, you’ll have to come back tomorrow!”

He turns and laughs at you, pulling the door fully open, nearly knocking your grip.

“Oh, I bet I can make you forget about this other gentleman,” He leans in close to you, his soft hair falling on the edges of your face, tickling your skin, “You won’t even remember who he is after I’m done with you,”

Your attempts to play with him always end up with him back in control. He’s left you stunned again, and you can’t say anything, instead settling on a bashful giggle. He puts his hand on your hip and ushers you into the building.

“Well, I can’t just have us standing here all night sunshine,” 

You come out of your frozen state and begin the walk to your apartment. He follows you, walking behind at a cool slow pace. You feel awkward being watched and turn to see if he’s looking at you. He is, but more so at your ass than you. He reaches his hand outward and thwaps your right cheek. 

“Oh!” You exclaim, putting a jump in your step. 

“Sorry sweetheart, I like what I see.” 

“Yes, I’m sure my ratty old PJs are very sexy,” You reply. 

He laughs, “I see you already want to be bratty with me, huh?”

You reach the door to your apartment, no need to fumble with the lock this time. You push the slightly ajar door and let him back into your space. “Hard not to be so bratty when you left me alone for so long.” You make your way through the apartment, heading in the direction of the bedroom.

“Oh don’t worry. If you’re a good girl for me, I’ll make it up to you,” 

You walk through the door frame of your bedroom, turning and stopping him at the entrance. His body language exudes sex. There's no other way to describe it. He has this magical god-like sex appeal that you crave. 

“Yeah? How so?” You cross your arms and pout. 

He steps forward closer to you, putting his hand around your waist, and grabbing you into an embrace. He clicks his tongue and shakes his head. 

“Do you really doubt how well I can take care of you?” He asks. 

You seriously don’t, but egging him on in this situation is more fun than submitting immediately to him. His body is so warm against yours, so inviting. You reach your hand across his waist, mirroring his touches. He reaches his hand up your back, creeping to that exact spot you want him to be. He slides into your scalp, grabbing a fistful of your hair; tightly pulling the locks behind you. 

“I said do you really…” Jake pulls harder, “Doubt how well I can take care of you?”

Words, give him the words. “No!” He pulls hard at your head causing your statement to come out in a yelp rather than an answer. 

“That's right. My little slut loves it when I take care of her, huh?”

“Yes,” You reply, finally remembering a lack of response elicits punishment. 

“Good girl,” He releases his grip from your scalp and soothes it with a light rub. He looks down at you with this almost menacing look, or maybe it's just pure lust. He takes the hand from your head, moves it back down to your hip, and uses it to guide you; turning you around to face the bed. He rests his head down on your shoulder, his hair tickling your neck.

The wanting and needing of him manifesting inside of you is finally boiling over. Your heartbeat is racing, jumping into your throat, your body exuding excited tingles, and your pussy… is already prepared for him. 

You close your eyes amidst this euphoric feeling. Letting your other senses take complete control. Jake runs his hands over the front of you, pulling at your shirt, sneaking upwards to clutch your unhidden breast. The other hand reaches down the front of your pants, feeling no barrier between his calloused hands and your cunt. You let out a soft giggle with excitement.

Feeling him touch you like this really is better than your imagination. You slowly open your eyes to peer at him, seeing his enthusiastic smirk growing.

He turns to look back at you, his smirk turning into a full smile, “Whore,” He whispers. 

You try to seem offended by it, but really there's no hope in being unexcited about his degradation. He can feel how wet you get when he calls you that. Before anything starts, he pulls his hands away from where you want them, and places them back on your hips, “Get on the bed.” He commands. 

You obey Jake's wishes and try your best to sexily climb on top of the bed, expecting him to be right behind you. You flip over onto your back and find that he’s still standing in the same place in the doorframe; arms crossed, looking at you.

“Aren’t you coming?” You ask, confused. 

“No,” he states, “I’m going to watch.”

“Watch… Me?”

“I told you there would be a punishment for all that teasing,” He grunts. 

You blush, embarrassed. 

“I want you to play with that pretty little cunt for me. And, if your good,” He takes a step forward, “and beg for me,” Another step forward, “I’ll show you how much better I feel than playing with yourself,”

Everything in your body is frozen. Play with yourself in front of him? You’ve never been self-conscious of how you touch yourself, but then again, no one but you has witnessed it. You gulp down your fear and begin to undress yourself, maintaining eye contact with Jake as you reveal yourself to him. Slowly, you lift the clothes off your body, taking your time; trying to tease him and slow your heart rate. You kick off the last part of your pants and slide yourself back onto the bed, resting the back of your head on the frame. 

Jake takes a seat at the end of the bed, propping himself up by placing his hand inches from your ankle. You wish he was closer, actually touching you, but you have to play the game. You know the rules. 

You lift your legs into a bent shape, spreading yourself so he can have the perfect view. The room is silent and you feel exposed to him entirely. The thrill of him having you is the only thing keeping you from entirely combusting fear. 

You place two fingers in your mouth, swirling your tongue around them, being sure to saturate them entirely. You suckle on them for a moment, then lead them down to your heat and lightly begin to touch yourself. You specifically did not want to take the lead on pleasuring yourself. You spent all day avoiding this, trying to hold out for Jake, wishing he could be the one to break the celibacy. Instead here he was inches away, tormenting you with your own touch, making it hard to enjoy the feeling. All you wanted was his hands on you, not your own.

You run your fingers through the bundle of nerves, trying not to move too quickly. Jake maintains eye contact with you, unbreaking until he hears your breathing start to hitch. His eyes move down your body, tracing you with his gaze. You look down at his cock, watching it stiffen in his pants. 

“Do you like touching yourself?” He asks, trying to remain composed. 

You do. It feels good to please yourself after waiting all day. Running your fingers around the sensitive spots, mixing techniques of his and yours. Saying yes wouldn’t be the right response to Jake though, “I like it better when it's you down there.” 

You can feel your body slowly giving in to the pleasure, relaxing itself, allowing the personal touches to feel euphoric. 

He looks back up to meet your eyes, “Oh, it looks like you’re doing just fine without me,” He scoffs at you. 

“No!” You exclaim, “Jake- Sir, please, please. I need you. You know I need you.” 

You continue swirling your hands around your dripping cunt. Trying to hold back too much excitement and prevent any sort of overstimulation this early. 

“You’re not convincing me yet baby,” 

“Please!” You feel yourself building, heat directing itself to your pussy, growing feverish and wanting him to take over, “Please sir. I’ve been needing you all day… Thinking about you…” Talking is starting to get harder. You close your eyes to try and focus yourself, “Thinking about you take my-”

Before you can even finish your sentence your legs are being pulled forward to the edge of the bed. Your ass just barely resting on the mattress, and your legs bent. You try to sit yourself up to look at Jake. He lifts his face into your cunt and dives into the slick mess you’ve made.

You place your hand on his head to stabilize yourself from the fucking devious moves he’s making on you. His tongue flicks up your already shaking pussy, devouring you, hungering for your release. He sounds absolutely desperate, moaning just as much as you, enjoying your taste and the noises his work procures. 

Before you can even adjust to the sensations, he slips a finger into you, teasing you to go further. He didn’t want to wait much longer to do this; he didn’t want to resist the pleasure he could give you. He lifts his free arm to hold your thigh, squeezing it against his face.

Your body is in blissful distress, unable to focus on just one of the sensations; taking it all in at once, feeling the build of your orgasm. Your head falls back, and your eyes close, feeling every motion of him breaching you. A loud, exasperated moan escapes your lips. No inhibitions are holding you when he’s between your legs. 

Before he can even ask for you to beg, you give him exactly what he wants.

“Jake, please! Please, please! Sir, please, let me come! I wanna-,” 

He pumps an increasing pressure to your g-spot and laps over your aching clit, pulling you headfirst into an orgasm. You move your hands backward, clutching the sheets in an attempt to hold yourself together.  A wave of relief washes over you as you spill out in front of him, feeling yourself soaking the sheets below you. Your legs shake, releasing the tension that you hung onto for so long. Jake’s sure to take in all of you, tasting you, exploring you. 

He lifts his head, “I could taste this all fucking night,” 

You smile, blossoming in his praise. He slows his pace to gently ease you out of your state of overstimulation. Without skipping a beat, Jake lifts himself to look down at your restless body. You muster a smile and he smirks in return. That fucking stupid cocky smirk. This fucking guy has you exactly where he wants you. He is the predator and you are his prey. He’s made you comfortable and free in his presence, but soon all of that would change. 

Jake reaches for the button on his jeans and releases himself from the tightness. His cock bulges out from the zipper, begging to feel the ecstasy you feel. The thought of making his cock happy again fills you with excitement. He runs his hands over the bulge, caressing the bundle, watching you. Stalking his prey.

He uses his free hand to free himself fully from the boxer briefs. His cock jumps, extending itself towards your pleading cunt. He spits into his hand and begins to lubricate himself. 

You go to sit up, but he pushes you back down; holding down your neck with more pressure than you're used to. You look directly into his eyes. The soft brown eyes melt you, but the look of utter desire within them clouds any sweet thoughts. 

“You need me, huh?” He taunts. 

“Yes.” You whimper back trying to breathe through the grip he has on you. 

“Say it.” He directs. 

“I need you to fuck me, right here… right now.”

He doesn’t hesitate any longer. He loosens his grip from your neck, and moves it to your hip, pulling you close to him. He shoves himself into you, stretching yourself around his shaft. You both gasp, shocked to remember how good you two feel together. 

“Fuck…” He exhales. 

Feeling him inside you is other-worldly. It’s the world’s best fucking drug. He gives you all of him, thrusting until he can’t reach any further. Gliding in and out of your pussy, creating the impurest sounds.

He picks up his speed without any haste, choosing to ignore the state he’s putting you into. Your bodies smack together, connecting, becoming a cloud of passion. Your moans are deep, enraptured in the erotic act. 

“Yes…” You groan. 

You try to sit up again, to be closer to him, but he rejects your movements. He takes your forearms and pins them down to your sides, using you for leverage, and most importantly keeping himself in control. He’s cunning and calculated with his choices. 

“Stay,” He warns. 

He drives into you further, becoming rougher with each slam. There is no gentle touch with him at this point, he’s heated, quivering, close to his own release. The grip on your arms becomes tighter, and you can tell the speed is killing him. His thrusts are splitting you, tempting another climax. Although you can’t lift yourself fully, you still feel the arching in your back, trying to prevent writhing around. Everything feels so sensitive, so electric. 

“Uh-uh,” He growls, slowing his pumps. He’s edging himself; or should I say us. 

He pulls out entirely and sits you up. In one fluid motion, he sits himself on the bed and turns you over into his lap. 

But all you can think about is pressing your face up against his, violating his mouth with yours, sitting on his lap, and feeling his cock pressed up against your pussy…

Dreams are coming true. He guides the tip into you, filling you again with his presence. In this position, you have no other option than to feel the entirety of him. He places his hands on your hips, trying to help guide your pace; bouncing you over his length. He’s breaching your cervix, sending your body mixed signals of pain and pleasure. It doesn’t take long before he’s using his force to rock you harder against him. You match his energy, grinding and bouncing on his cock. 

“Your pussy is fucking magical,” He sighs. 

You dare not tempt any bratty behavior at this moment, holding back any retorts would be hard, but you censor yourself, and lean into his ear, “Your cock makes me feel fucking magical.” 

He shivers hearing the words. Even though you know he has control over the situation, you still have the ability to make him melt. There are no plans for sensuality at this tipping point. You’ve set him into a feverish state; too close to toppling over.

He holds your body close to his, bringing your breast into his mouth, fondling it between his lips. He sinks you down as far as you can let him and frantically picks up the pace. 

Jake rolls his hips, squirming himself inside of you. 

“Oh!” You cry, “Yes! Please, sir!... Give it to me!”

Soft grunts escaping between you, sending both of you reeling. Neither of you can deny what was destined. Your bodies hit the breaking point, melding together in a hot fervor. 

He detaches from your breast, to allow you even closer to him. He shifts his grip onto your ass, practically breaking you from his strength. You turn your head downward, kissing him through the bumpy movements.  

His vigorous touch pushes you into your second orgasm, trembling over his cock. When he feels the presence of your climax, he allows himself to spill into you, throbbing with relief. Both of you slowly grind on each other, trying not to extinguish the feeling of ecstasy.

Unfortunately, you both know all good things must come to an end. Jake falls backward, closing his eyes, exhausted. His hair stuck together in sweaty clumps. You gently lift yourself, removing him from your over-sensitive heat. 

“Fuck…” He exhales. 

You giggle seeing him in such a vulnerable state. He’s experiencing the same shock you felt the first night together. Maybe he already has, but this time he was less afraid to show you how you could make him feel.

You climb off the bed and grab the towel hanging off the back of the door; offering it to him. You both had made an absolute mess, but most of it had spilled onto Jake. 

He peeks an eye open and lazily takes the towel from you. You clamber back in the bed to lay beside him. Resting on your side, staring at his heavenly profile. You reach out to his hair, moving the sticking strands from his face. 

Some of the loose strands of hair are still stuck to his glossy forehead. You give in to impulse and swipe the clung pieces from the sweat. Your hand grazing the edges of his face, tucking the hair with the rest. 

You pet him softly, pawing the hair away from his damp forehead. His breathing has finally slowed. He picks himself up, starting to use the gifted towel. 

He turns to look at you, “Hey, what time is it?”

You roll over to grab your phone, “Uh, it’s almost midnight.” 

“Shit. Really?” He sounds concerned. He stands and begins to dress himself. 

“Yeah, it's 11:56,” You reply. 

The mood has gone from warm and erotic to awkward and uncertain. He’s closing himself off again, and that one moment of intimacy and aftercare has quickly passed. 

“Shit, I’m so sorry, I really have to go do something.” 

“Oh.” You sigh. 

Fuck. 

You pull the comforter corner up, trying to shield your body; shield the vulnerability. 

“No, no.” He runs over to your side, and pulls your face into his hands, “It’s nothing bad. Remember I told you I can’t stay long?” You nod your head, remembering his warning. “I just wanted to come make you feel good, I hope I didn’t disappoint you,”

He really didn’t, the only disappointing part is him not committing to staying with you for longer than a few hours. 

“I’ll be okay,” You respond, “I’ll see you tomorrow right?”

“Yes,” He answers. He beams at you, letting you soak in his happiness, “Be good for me until then, okay?” He pulls you in for one last kiss. When he breaks away, he looks at you another moment before rubbing your cheek and turning away. 

Watching him leave is always depressing. This night confirms your feelings for Jake are far past just sexual. The promise of seeing him tomorrow is the only thing keeping you together. Well, that and he almost couldn’t fucking take you.

➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-

Still, in a state of morning fog and confusion, you turn to your left and reach out to touch him; expecting him to be there- but he’s not there. Where did he go? He was so close to you last night, facing you, noses practically touching, breathing lightly, but still enough to feel the breeze of him on you. The sheets had been completely evacuated of him; the only thing remaining was a few long strands of his chestnut hair.

History repeats itself. 

The next day goes by a little faster than the previous, it's been a few days now since your first encounter with Jake. Instead of fear permeating through you, it’s a whole new skin of confidence. He’s into you, he wants your touch. You feel better knowing in some way you have him, even if he’s not really yours. 

You maintain a few chatty words with him through text as the afternoon flies by. Nothing serious or sexy, but rather quite wholesome; sending music back and forth, critiquing each other's taste. He prefers his rock music to be classic, and yours brings his into a new age. 

You both know that you’re scheduled to be at the bar tonight. Fleet’s on Saturday night is full of the local college crowd and you two are the only ones that can keep up with the rowdy patrons. Jake acts like a man of steel, fighting off the begging drunks, getting the girls off the counter, and most importantly completing the orders. You on the other hand take a more relaxed approach, keeping the customers happy, cleaning up the bar, and assembling the beer buckets. 

On your drive to the bar, you think of how Jake might be different this time around. He seems to also be radiating this new energy that you feel. You’ve never seen him smile this much around you, and you're savoring every moment. You start playing one of the songs he sent you and instantly feel like you're being wrapped up by his presence again. Tapping your fingers to the beat, humming along to melodies. It doesn’t take long before you’re pulling back into the horrendous parking lot, bouncing through potholes until you reach the back. 

You are thankful for Jake's protection of you on Thursday. Avoiding Chris’ bad side makes work a lot easier. It wasn’t your first time being on Chris’ naughty list and you knew you had to start being extra careful. 

You walk into the back of the building, quick to park your bag in your cubby, and hustle out to the bar to take over from Mariella. You try to show up fifteen minutes early to help start the takeover. Mariella has a few people still being served, but they’re more interested in their dates than ordering more drinks. You slide under the counter and pop over next to her. 

“Hey!” You say in a cheery tone. 

She doesn't even look at you, instead focusing on putting away glasses. “Hi,” She snaps at you. 

“Everything all set? Did you close these guys out or should we transfer them-”

“They’ll be closed. Don’t worry about it.” She picks up the crate of dirty dishes and walks them over to the compact dishwasher and begins to load them; still not making eye contact.

Alright. This is weird. You try to ignore it as you clock into the electronic system. You sneak glances back at her as you type in your employee number, checking to see if she’ll look back. 

You try to break the tension further, “I’ll wipe down the counters,”

“Okay.” She responds. 

Okay, what the fuck? Is she mad at you? Maybe she also got in trouble the night you were drinking. You tried to save her, but Jake kept ordering more. You start wiping down the counters with the already wet rag she had handy. She finishes stacking the last glass into the dishwasher and closes it aggressively; so hard you can hear the clinking cries of the wine glasses inside.

You work your way down the countertop to the corner away from her and the customers; even though this side looks barely touched. She walks over towards you, pulling out her phone, again trying to avoid eye contact. You step out in front of her, directly blocking her from the exit. 

“Hey,” You wave to her, “What's up?”

“Can you just move?” She torts back. 

“Are you mad at me? What the fuck is going on here?” You gesture at her. 

“I don't know,” She says, “Why don’t you ask Jake?”

What? Is she really that mad about Wednesday night? Did he say something to her? 

“What are you talking about? Did we get you in trouble?”

“The only person who got in trouble was you, and it's well deserved,” She tries to push past you to slide beyond the counter. 

You reach out to her, grabbing her wrist, “Hey!”

“Bitch!” She snaps her hand back from you, “Don’t touch me!”

“Mariella, what the fuck is going on? Why are you acting like this?”

Your heart is beating, stress putting your body in a clammy state of shock. You’ve always hated confrontation, especially amongst friends, and especially when you felt like you were the one responsible. 

“Ask Jake why he was at my house last night,” She slides out from the counter and walks to the back hallway, turning away from you. You swing back to look at the other end of the bar, where the customers are obviously trying to pretend they aren’t eavesdropping. 

Seriously what the fuck is she talking about. Is that why Jake had to leave so soon? Was she the something that came up? 

“Shit, I’m so sorry, I really have to go do something.” 

Mariella never had much of a relationship with Jake, other than being coworkers, they hardly ever worked the same shift but would cover for each other from time to time. What the fuck could have happened?

That confidence you were wearing earlier is slowly starting to peel back, ripping at the seams of your growing confusion… and anger. You thought that you might be his only conquest, but really you never confirmed that. Was she a loose end? Or something he also tied over frequently. 

The anxiety is already spinning in your head, you’re spiraling trying to make sense of what has been revealed to you. It could be nothing, but judging by her reaction, it was more. Nothing doesn’t mean nothing. Here you were now between the two of them, scared after her exit, and scared for when he came into the bar. This whole situation feels like a fucking movie, too dramatic to be your life. This whole week has been like some weird fantasy coming to life. 

You try to choke down the feelings of jealousy and immaturity; you have to be better than Mariella. It will be hard for you to avoid bringing it up in Jake, but it’s not the right place to ask. You don’t know how you’ll react to his responses, how he’ll react to your questioning, and most importantly what will come of that conversation. If you were to stay on top of your game tonight, you had to try and focus on the job, not the drama; which could be saved for later. Breathe. Compartmentalize. Let go… For now. 

You walk over to the corner where the few patrons are sitting and introduce yourself to them, “Sorry about that... But anyway, I’m going to be taking care of you the rest of the night. If you need anything just wave me over!” The group mutters a few thanks and you turn over to finish your tasks. 

Jake strolls out from the back hallway with no look of concern on his face. He must not have run into Mariella on his way in, or he’s hiding it really well. He slides under the bar to join you, an expressive look on his face. 

“Hey sunshine,” He reaches his hand over to your head and tussles the top of your hair, “Hope I didn’t disappoint you again, I don't have any new drinks to make you,” 

Breathe. Compartmentalize. Let go… For now. 

➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-➹-

Thank you if you came back for part two 🥹 Let me know if you want to be on the tag list for this, I obviously have to continue this story… For now! 

[sugar-omi]

do you have any hc for mc's who are blind or deaf? I'd send a request but I don't wanna pile up your already full inbox.

don't worry about stuffing my inbox!! i love seeing how many of you like to share your thoughts or have smth you wanna talk abt, or want me to expand on something you're thinking about, all that stuff, i love it its great

Fluff ofc, headcanons, blind or deaf mc/reader

i'm assuming you wanna ask on how the boys are with a blind or deaf mc

n they're all so sweet, n so helpful so i know it goes without saying if you need help bc of your blindness he'll help you walk through say a crowded place

and if needed, they'd help communicate for you

like I've seen deaf/HOH people say they struggle to communicate their wants at the nail salon (this one girl says she mostly gestures or shows pictures of what she wants, n in one video she said the nail tech misunderstood what she wanted)

so if you're worried about messing up, or being a bother, or anything like that, he'll come join you n help you communicate what you want

(yes he's right next to you getting his nails/toes done, ends up looking forward to the trip every time)

but omg i started thinking abt step 1 and... yk cove was going through it, and he can be stand offish or selfish (for lack of better word)

but i imagine if you, despite your blindness/deafness and whatever struggles that brings you- (especially if its a hurdle in trying to befriend cove)

- you try to accommodate and include your new neighbor in your summer activities

ofc he warms up to you, and he starts accommodating you too

i can see him writing or signing for you if needed (if you use sign to communicate, i'm sure he'd try to learn sign, even if its just the basics)

now this applies to any of the boys, but assuming you are totally blind, or have any form of impairment that blocks part of your vision or shrinks it

(i'm thinking abt this youtube couple where 1 of the husbands can only see through a very small hole in his vision, can't think of their name rn, and when i figure out their name or the name of his blindness i will come back!!!)

*found the channell!! "matthew and paul official"

*FIGURED OUT THE NAME OF HIS BLINDNESS!!! its retinitis pigmentosa

whatever type of blindness you have, won't stop them from showing you stuff or doing stuff with you

i can see him putting something in your hand or bringing your hand up to touch something so you can get the feel of it.

or if it's something he has he wants to show you, of course he patiently waits for you to analyze it n get the full visage like Paul does in this video here, where his husband asks if he's seen his face

or he'll describe it to you..

baxter would use such fancy, big, and/or poetic words that it's easy to imagine it, and you can't help but imagine it being better than it is but you have to laugh bc of his grandeur, its quite funny

(no matter what he saw, he'd definitely floof something up, you being blind or not. he's funny like that)

cove would feel pretty awkward bc he's shy, yknow how he is. but he always does his best to tell you how something looks and tries to share the sight, especially if it's something beautiful

derek is very animated, moving his hands and even moving your hands to help you envision it if it's something really grand. he's so excited to share what he saw (would also do this even if you aren't blind, i think he's very excited to share his sights n memories)

omg i didn't think about this until i found that channel i was talking about, but i can see the boys pulling breaks on you like how matthew does to paul (paul is the blind husband, just for those who haven't seen their videos)

very harmless pranks of course, like this one: where matthew switches his chips n dip, or this one where matthew puts pengroom plushies in the fridge

i love them they are so cute

now if you think your blindness is stopping baxter from asking you to dance, you are very wrong

he won't do elaborate spins n dips if you don't want to, won't do anything you don't want of course.

but he'd be very willing to slow dance or do the salsa or whatever you want depending on your comfort

could totally see him, when you're reconnected n dating (or friends ofc), putting on music n a song comes on he rlly likes n he pulls you into a little dance

takes your hand n ask if you wanna dance, or he'll be badly singing and he'll shake his hips n wave your intertwined hands in the air... jfc just imagine his big smile. pls he's so cute

ohhh cove showing you his shell collection, letting you touch every shell and carefully puts them in your hands, tells you the lovely colors they're in if you can't see em

or pulling you into the ocean, doesn't have to be far, just enough to get your feet wet. and he'll walk w you down the shore and he enjoys it as always

now I just looked it up. n there's several sports blind ppl can play in, and football n soccer is one of em (not sure the details)

so if you wanna play ball with derek, he's very happy to find out you can play together

again, depending on your type of blindness/impairment, he's happy to go to the amusement park with you n get face painting

no matter what, it thrills him I just know it

especially since you're probably holding hands/locking arms, the place is crowded and even more so at certain times and days

step 2 derek is very flustered to be so close, bc he's still holding his crushes hand/locked arms, even if he's helping you go through the park safely, he can't help being a bit happy about the proximity

jfc this spiraled so bad LOL i didn't think i had much to say but this stuff is actually so cute, just imagine it <333

[albatris]

one day......... I'm going to try and Chat Casually Online

[theteasetwrites]

The Beginning Is the End Is the Beginning

Chapter 66: In the Flesh

❧ Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Female Reader ❧ Era: Season 9 ❧ Pronouns: she/her ❧ Warnings: violence, scary situations, mild swearing ❧ Word Count: 7.6k

❧ In This Chapter: Daryl is forced to give Lydia back to her group, but Henry doesn't except this, and you and Daryl embark on a harrowing mission to bring him home.

❧ A/N: So I switched up the canon a bit again, making it so that Reader goes with Daryl to find Henry, instead of Connie (don't get me wrong I like Connie but I mean we had to have Reader do this). We also get some cute moments, as always. The chapter ends on a happy note. What could possibly go wrong?

You climbed up to the guard post, where you could better see the skin-wearers at the gate.

Daryl noticed your presence immediately, and side-eyed you questioningly. He should’ve known you wouldn’t listen to him—you were too curious for your own good.

“Our community is more than capable of defending itself!” Tara yelled down to the strangers.

“I show you my face,” the leader, Alpha, and Lydia’s mother, said, “because we mean you no harm. I just want my daughter. I know you have her.”

You panicked a little internally, knowing Daryl wasn’t going to send Lydia back to an abusive mother. Even if she didn’t beat her, you could never understand why anyone would want to go back to living like they did. Just looking at them made your skin crawl, and yearn for a bath.

“You should turn around,” said Daryl. “Leave now and no one gets hurt.”

A thick silence filled the air, and for a moment you could see the words coming out of Alpha’s mouth before she even spoke them.

“Wrong answer,” she said, and raised her hand in the air to signal the rest of her group, which was much bigger than you’d been led to believe.

Still, the Hilltop was armed enough to handle their numbers, and from the looks of it, they weren’t equipped with the most threatening of weapons.

“That girl told me what her mom does to her,” said Daryl to the others. “We ain’t sendin’ her back to that.”

“Then we have to fight,” you said. “We could take them.”

“Yeah, but what if she has Alden and Luke?” replied Tara. “Pissing her off can get them killed.”

A reasonably logical point. Surely this group wouldn’t come so close to such a developed settlement without leverage of some kind.

“Did you kill our friends?” Magna asked Alpha. “We found their horses.”

“No,” she replied. “Which one of you leads these people?”

You exchanged a look with Tara, who had become the de facto leader of Hilltop since Jesus’ death. Still, you weren’t sure what difference it would make.

“What the hell does it matter?” asked Daryl, in his usual surly fashion.

“Then I’ll just address all of you. Your people crossed into our land, there will be no conflict. Your people killed our people, there will be no conflict. I’m done talkin’. Bring me my daughter, or there will be conflict.”

Daryl huffed. “No one touches the girl,” he said, then rushed down to the ground where Henry began bombarding him with questions. You followed behind, calling his name to try to keep him from doing something stupid.

“What does she want?” he asked Daryl, then looked at you in questioning when he didn’t answer, just kept walking towards the gate.

“Lydia,” you panted.

He looked back at Daryl. “No, Daryl, we—we can’t do that—”

“She ain’t gettin’ ‘er,” he replied brusquely.

“Then what are you doing?” he asked.

You crossed your arms and narrowed your eyes at Daryl as he stood before the gate. “I’m wondering that myself.”

He looked between you and Henry. “She’s done talkin’, I’m not.” He turned to look at the guards, and gestured for them to open the gate for him. “Come on.”

Of course, they did, not wanting to rile Daryl up more than he already was.

You threw down your arms in frustration, and turned to look at Henry. “What’s he going to do?” he asked you.

“It’s best not to try to predict what Daryl’s going to do.”

Henry nodded, and walked away swiftly. You had no time to inquire about his next move, and you climbed back up to the lookout to see what kind of “talking” Daryl had in mind.

He sauntered confidently towards the outermost gate, coming face-to-face with the woman who called herself Alpha. From your distance, none of you could hear what he was saying, but you knew from the way he moved his head that he was speaking to her, probably practically talking in a low growl.

“You can’t have her,” he said, looking the monster of a mother straight in the eyes and trying not to imagine every cruel thing she’d done. “Now, if it’s a fight you’re lookin’ for, we got enough firepower to light you up. Right here and now.”

Daryl’s focus was distracted by the out of place sound of a baby fussing in the distance. He followed the sound with his gaze to lie eyes on one of the skins, holding a baby in a makeshift sling.

The sight disgusted him. How could a baby be raised like this, by people who wore rotting flesh on their faces, and walked among the dead, constantly exposing the child to danger? He couldn’t even imagine letting his child anywhere near even a dead walker.

He looked back at Alpha, a look of loathing and repugnance upon his face. “You brought a baby out here?”

Alpha’s dirtied face broke into a sinister smile, as if she was about to laugh at his distaste. “We’re animals,” she said. “Animals live out here. Animals have babies. So we have babies out here. Now, what were you sayin’? Lightin’ us all up?”

As you watched from the guard post, you saw some of the other skins pushing forward two people, also with skin masks on their faces.

Taking the binoculars in your hands, you recognized the body of Alden, and the other man must’ve been Luke, one of the newcomers in Magna’s group.

Of course she has them, you thought. They’ll kill them if we don’t give her Lydia.

Though you didn’t want to send a child to be abused by her mother, and to live with such abhorrent people, you also didn’t want two of your own people to die.

“So I’m proposing a trade,” she continued. She turned towards the hostages and signaled the others to pull off their masks, and sure enough, it was Alden and Luke, their mouths gagged and knives to their throats. “I wanted to kill them, but I want my daughter more. One of mine, two of yours. It’s a good trade, which is why you’re gonna take it. Now, bring me my daughter.”

Daryl retreated back through the gates, deciding now that it might be the best decision to give Lydia to her mother, until he could figure out another plan.

Of course, he knew Henry wouldn’t like it, and he didn’t like it either, but it was the only option to keep Alden and Luke alive. The only problem was that Lydia wasn’t in her cell, and you couldn’t find Henry anywhere.

Context clues told you and Daryl that he was hiding somewhere with Lydia, trying to avoid her being taken away. You hadn’t initially realized the extent to which Henry liked the girl, but now it seemed clear he had more than just a friendly interest in her.

Everyone began the search around the Hilltop, but you had a feeling that Henry might’ve snuck out, the same way he had snuck out with the other teenagers just days earlier.

Enid and one of the teenagers, Addy, followed his trail and tracked him down. Sure enough, he was with Lydia, and somehow he’d been convinced to let Daryl hand Lydia to her mother.

The gates opened with a creak, and Daryl led the teenage girl out slowly, as Alpha nodded to let Alden and Luke return at the same time.

It had all gone smoothly, despite how awful it felt to return her to such abuse, the coldness you had seen firsthand when Alpha greeted her daughter not with a hug or a kiss, but a sharp, impassioned slap to the face.

You gasped a little in surprise, watching the scene unfold as you stood beside Henry, who clenched his fist tightly by his side.

Then, in a twisted move, Alpha did hug her, as if she hadn’t just done something so vile to her own child.

You weren’t sure what was more evil, hitting her, or following the hit with a gesture of love. To you, it indicated how she manipulated her daughter into thinking the beatings made her stronger, and were ultimately out of love.

It was sickening.

The Hilltop was quiet that night, reeling from the close call at the gates, and the sight of the strange people donning rotting flesh masks.

Henry ran away that night, sneaking out as you, Daryl, and Robin visited the graves and left Jesus his flowers. Upon his bed was a note:

Couldn’t live with it. Left to find Lydia.

After some bickering, Daryl agreed to let you go with him to find Henry. You made the argument that Henry was your responsibility, too, and that you felt like you needed to get Lydia away from that monster.

Aaron agreed to take Robin home to Alexandria at first light, and to watch over her there until you and Daryl returned. You had decided that the Hilltop was no longer safe for the little girl, since a hostile group now knew of its location.

Now, trudging through the Virginia woods with Daryl and Dog, tracking Henry’s steps in the late morning light, you wondered how long Alexandria would be safe from these… people. From yours and Daryl’s tracking, you surmised Henry did catch up with the skins, and then their tracks merged, and it became clear that he was with them. It terrified you, the possibility that they could hurt the boy. Only the sudden realization that you were out of breath, trying to keep up with Daryl’s long strides as he followed Dog, distracted you from the thought.

“Daryl,” you panted, stumbling a little as you made one last burst of speed to walk by his side. “Slow down.”

He looked at you worriedly, and slowed his pace. “Come on,” he said, also out of breath. “We got ourselves a trail. We go fast, we'll catch up to ‘em real soon.”

You shook your head and stopped abruptly, leaning over to catch your breath. Dog doubled back to join the two of you. “Daryl,” you said, this time more sternly, “you’ve been firing on all cylinders since last night. We’ve been out here for eight hours, going as fast as we can. A five minute break won’t make a difference.”

Daryl huffed, then grabbed you by the shoulders to sit you down on the ground, to which you snorted. “I meant both of us.”

He gave you a slightly irritated look at your prodding, but obliged and sat himself down next to you as you pulled out your canteen. You took a long sip, then poured some out for Dog, who lapped it up rather quickly.

“Jus’ wanna get to ‘em ‘fore they do somethin’ to Henry,” he said, twirling a twig between his fingers absentmindedly. “Carol wanted us to make sure he’s all right. S’what we gotta do.”

“They wouldn’t kill him,” you said. “They didn’t kill Alden and Luke. More than likely, they’re getting information from him, or they’re going to use him for something. We’ll get to them before they do anything, I know it.”

He nodded, with his hair now acting as a curtain around his face. You leaned forward a little to see him better past the ocean of brown, wavy locks. “Hey,” you said, moving his hair behind his ear so you could see his face, “we’ll get him back, honey. We will… and Lydia, too.”

He shook his head. “Nah, not her.”

Your eyes widened. “But her mother—”

“Yeah, s’why we can’t. Havin’ ‘er with us… It puts us all in danger. Might not like it, but I ain’t riskin’ anyone’s life for her. Not yours, not Robin’s.”

“She can’t live like that,” you said. “It’s not right. Something has to be done. If someone was doing that to Robin—”

He stopped you immediately, looking at you seriously. “That ain’t remotely the same, and you know it.”

“Why?”

“‘Cause Robin’s ours,” he replied. “That girl ain’t ours. Henry, he’s our responsibility, she ain’t.”

You were silent for a while, chewing your lip as you thought. “You’re right, Henry is our responsibility, and he’s not going anywhere with us without Lydia, you know that. He went out looking for her in the first place. There’s something more going on there.”

He furrowed his brow at you. “What?”

“I think he’s in love with her,” you said.

Daryl scoffed. “Nah, that’s just you bein’ romantic, as usual. Boy’s just tryin’ to be a hero.”

You laughed a little to yourself as you petted Dog. “Sounds like someone else I know,” you said, and you could feel Daryl’s eyes rolling in his head. You looked at him and smiled, and he couldn’t help but break out into a reluctant smile, too, as he nudged your shoulder teasingly.

“Maybe it’s not love per se,” you continued, “but he’s fond of her, and he’s not going to let her stay with them. I know you don’t want her there, either… And I know why… What your father did to you, how he gave you those scars on your back, that’s why you could never let a child get hurt. He lashed you, and made you feel like you deserved it. That’s what her mother’s doing to her, and when I think about what happened to you, it breaks my heart. I never want that to happen to anybody, ever.”

Of course, Daryl had told you all of what his father did to him by now, after nearly ten years of being together, but he didn’t expect you to remember, to be so hurt by all of it. You hardly ever brought it up unless he was already talking about it, on the rare occasions that he did.

“I don’t either,” he said, looking at you softly. “But this ain’t a debate. She’s not comin’ with us, ‘cause my family’s more important. That ain’t gonna change.”

We’ll see, you thought, knowing Daryl was easily swayed when you put your mind to it, and maybe flashed those big doe eyes, if you had to.

Hours passed, and you knew you were close to Alpha’s group when you stumbled upon three of them carrying a few bodies out into an open field, leaving them for the incoming herd of walkers to eat.

You and Daryl watched from a distance, hiding behind the bushes and waiting for the skins to separate from the herd.

“We ambush them from behind,” you whispered.

Daryl nodded as he watched their every move. “Take their skins, become one of ‘em.”

Your eyes widened. “Well, I was thinking we get some information out of them, then kill them, let the walkers get rid of the bodies.”

He shook his head. “Nah. It’ll be easier to blend in with ‘em with the masks. We don’t need information, just follow their tracks.”

You rolled your eyes. “Always your plans…”

Daryl ambushed first, pulling back the hair of one of their masks and slitting their throat before they could scream.

You followed a few seconds later, axing one of the skins in the head, and the other through the chest to preserve the mask.

You dropped your axe with a huff and looked at Daryl skeptically. “This is the grossest thing we’ve ever done,” you said. “Worse than that time you made me eat worms.”

You both dodged a few gag reflexes as you donned the flesh masks, cold and surprisingly dry for how slimy they looked. Still, the smell was horrendous, worse than any roadkill you’d ever come across.

As you laced up your mask, you felt Daryl drape your shoulders with a grimy coat.

“Put that on,” he said, and you peeked through your mask to see he’d already put on one of the skins’ tattered poncho. He looked back at you, with that disgusting skin on his face. “Gotta blend in.”

You shook your head as you put on the coat. “Okay, handsome,” you joked. “Just let me know when you want me to take all my clothes off.”

He tilted his head, but you could see his small smile just barely through the mouth of his skin mask. “Stop.”

The darkness of night settled in quickly from that point, as the two of you trudged slowly through the dense woods, knowing from the multitude of tracks that you were getting close.

When you came close to the apparent border of their camp, Daryl instructed Dog to stay in place to wait for the two of you. You had no idea how the man managed to train that dog to the point where he listened to every word he said, but it was incredibly convenient, especially since you could never get that animal to listen to you.

When you joined the other skins, of which there were even more than at the gates of the Hilltop, you could see Henry, restrained by a large figure in a skin mask, with Lydia nearby, a knife in her hand as Alpha stood beside her.

You couldn’t make out much of what they said, but you knew from the sight that Alpha was going to force Lydia to kill Henry.

Neither of you could speak, for fear of the others not recognizing your voices, but you nodded to each other, knowing that you had to make a move, and soon.

You moved to reach for your knife, but there was a sudden shout from behind you. “Guardians!”

You turned to see several of the skins without their masks being tackled and devoured by hungry walkers, and several others quickly conforming with the herd to blend in.

It was a gruesome sight, and the sounds of screams in agony were something you hadn’t heard in years, but ultimately, it was the perfect opportunity.

Daryl moved slowly to grab Henry’s arm, and you moved to stand behind Lydia.

“Keep your head down,” he said quietly, but still in his recognizably gruff voice. “We’re leavin’.”

You moved closer, pushing Lydia gently, to which she turned around and looked at you curiously.

“Not without Lydia,” said Henry, not at all to your surprise.

Daryl exchanged a look with you, though you could barely see the shine of his blue eyes through the mask.

“No,” he said. “The girl stays.”

“Then so do I,” replied Henry.

You turned swiftly when you felt the presence of a walker behind you, and quickly stabbed it before it could get too close to the maskless Lydia.

“We need to go,” you hissed sternly. “Now!”

“Henry,” Lydia spoke as she shook her head.

“No,” he said to her. “I’m not leaving you. I won’t.”

Lydia began to cry softly, and you huffed before Daryl tugged harshly on Henry’s arm. “Now, come on!”

Of course, Henry was holding onto Lydia’s hand, and before you knew it, all four of you were running, with Dog at the outskirts of the camp joining you, and running ahead.

You and Daryl quickly disposed of your masks as you ran, and you were more than happy to finally breathe fresh air, rather than the death and decay of the rotting flesh above your own.

Running towards a shallow ditch, Henry tripped and stumbled, with you trying to steady him.

“You all right?” asked Daryl.

“This isn’t the way back to Hilltop,” replied Henry.

“Tara made a deal with those assholes, we broke it. We ain’t goin’ back to Hilltop,” he said.

“He’s right,” panted Lydia. “There’s too many of them. Alpha would destroy Hilltop to get me back now.”

“And why didn’t you tell us there was that many of them?” Daryl asked pointedly.

You gave him a stern look, recognizing in his voice that he was pissed.

“You kept me locked in a cage,” she replied. “What did you expect? I wasn’t gonna betray my own people.”

Daryl leaned forward and glared at the girl. “Well, maybe you should go back to ‘em.”

“Hey,” you spoke. “Stop this.”

He either ignored you, or didn’t hear you because of all the blood in his ears. “Henry didn’t know what he was getting his ass into, but you sure as hell did.”

“I thought I could go back,” she panted. “But I can’t.”

He looked at you, sensing your disappointed, frustrated face on his. “Well, you ain’t comin’ with us.”

Henry grabbed Lydia’s arm. “Hey,” he said. “We could run. Me and her. You guys go back and—and we keep running.” He looked over to you, as if asking for your approval.

You scoffed. “No way. That’s too dangerous.”

“They can’t blame Hilltop if we just disappear,” he replied.

“Henry, we can’t,” Lydia said.

Henry spoke seriously to Daryl: “Let me fix this.”

“Nah,” he said. “There’s no way in hell I’m letting you run away with this one, no way. Think of your mom!”

You shook your head and stood to your feet. “Will you be quiet!” you whisper-yelled at him. “We’ve gotta get out of here! Now!”

The four of you began to run again, until it was light out, and you stumbled upon a tall, grey administrative building, decrepit and abandoned, but appearing to be free of walkers.

Daryl was a little skeptical at first when you suggested staying there, until you reasoned with him.

“We can’t take Lydia back to Hilltop,” you said, standing with the four of them at the base of the building. “Henry won’t go anywhere without Lydia, so until we figure out what we’re doing, those… people are going to be looking for her, for us. Best thing we can do for now is wait for them, and fight them when they come. Higher ground, that’s where we’re gonna want to be. They can’t bring a herd up there, not if we barricade the stairwells, and then only a few of them can get in at a time.”

Daryl nodded. “Good idea,” he said, then looked back at the two teenagers. “Come on.”

You all began walking forward, towards the building, until Lydia spoke up. “If we go up there,” she said, “we’re trapped. Alpha’s not gonna send an army ‘cause she doesn’t have to. She’ll send Beta.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Beta?”

She nodded. “Her right hand.”

Daryl exchanged a look with you, then looked back towards Lydia. “I’m sick of runnin’. This Beta, he their best?”

Lydia nodded in affirmation. “Good,” he said. “We’ll kill him first.”

Once the building was determined to be clear, you headed up to the highest floor, and after finally catching your breath, you noticed a loose plank of wood lying on the floor. It seemed innocuous at first, since the whole place appeared to have been under construction before it was abandoned, but upon stepping on it, you could feel the wood caving in. Moving it in curiosity, you beamed at the sight of food, water, medicine, and a first aid kit in the large depression beneath it.

“Jackpot!” you said to yourself, hopping in the shallow hole and scooping out a few bottles of water.

The sound of the door opening alerted you to Daryl and Dog’s presence.

“That stairwell’s already barricaded,” he huffed, and widened his eyes at the sight of the stash.

You smiled at him. “Someone must’ve stayed here before, had the same idea. Look at this! Granola bars…” You reached down to grab one, and eagerly unwrapped it to throw at Dog, who caught it triumphantly in his mouth, and scurried away to the corner where he chewed on his prize.

“Yeah,” said Daryl, holding his hand out to help you up. You gladly took it, and handed him a bottle of water. “Like they knew we were comin’. Thanks.”

You shifted your shoulders a bit, smiling but trying not to act too smug. Still, you couldn’t help it.

“I guess Mrs. (Y/N) Dixon’s got a few good ideas after all,” you said. “Maybe Mr. Dixon should listen to her more often.”

He pursed his lips as he swished around the water in his mouth. “Don’t push it,” he said teasingly. “Plan hasn’t worked yet.”

You rolled your eyes. “It’ll work,” you said, moving closer to him, and placing your hands on his chest, where the cool leather of his vest slightly chilled your palms. “We’ll get rid of whoever they send after her, and then I was thinking, maybe we could take Henry and Lydia back to the Kingdom? Surely Carol would take them in.”

Daryl huffed, and took your hands in his. “Ain’t gonna work like that,” he said. “Sooner or later, they’ll find ‘em, and more people will die. Our friends will die.”

“You don’t know that for sure,” you said sadly.

“Know enough not to risk it,” he replied, then lifted your chin when you lowered your head. “You’re a dreamer, one thing I’ve always loved about ya, but this ain’t a dream, (Y/N). This is real, and the more we learn about these people, the more dangerous they are. Whatever we can do to keep each other safe, before we try to keep everyone else safe, we gotta do it. Lydia ain’t one of our own. Henry is, you are. That’s what I know for sure… and that I love you.”

You sighed, and closed your eyes in frustration and comfort at Daryl’s touch. “I can’t live with myself if we don’t take her in. She’s just a kid… and—and I just can’t live with it, Daryl. I can’t. I won’t.”

He tried to touch your arm as you pulled away, but you didn’t stop walking away from him, wanting only to be alone as you turned your back to him and hopped back down into the stash.

Shit, he thought, recognizing that you were pissed at him (he was pretty good at noticing it now). Thought I was bein’ romantic.

He was conflicted, wanting to make you happy, and to do what he believed was right. Perhaps there was some way he could do that, but first this plan needed to work.

After accidentally walking in on Lydia and Henry kissing (a rather embarrassing moment for all parties), Daryl made the decision to begin watching from the balconies for any of Alpha’s group.

Lydia saw them first, a small herd trudging through the streets below. She alerted you to their presence, and Daryl confirmed that they were, in fact, Alpha’s group.

“All right,” he said to you all as you helped Lydia and Henry board up the windows. “They’re here. Let’s go.”

Daryl split your group into two, you with Henry, him with Lydia (which you suspected was a way to keep the star-crossed lovers away from each other). Still, you saw Lydia kiss Henry’s lips before she parted with Daryl, and you couldn’t help but smile a little, though quickly you returned to focusing on the task at hand.

As you had planned, Alpha’s group were able to get through the barricade, but their herd wasn’t.

Thus, their group was much smaller, and now it would be easier to take them. Daryl had Lydia hide in a closet, knowing she wouldn’t want to fight her own people, with Dog as protection. Meanwhile, you and Henry hid on another level, with each of you waiting behind filing cabinets to attack the three skins looking for you.

Henry took on one, though he only knocked her out, trying his hardest not to kill anyone for Lydia’s sake. Another skin, one with a bow, positioned himself to shoot at Henry, but you were quick enough to pierce his skull with your axe.

Still, you felt the presence of another one, and sure enough, behind you was the skin Henry had failed to kill. You turned swiftly, and dodged the knife she threw in your direction. It wisped over your head, and you quickly got back up to your feet to tackle your attacker before she could get another knife.

You raised your axe, but she hit you clean in the face, and knocked you off of her. Before she could raise to her feet, you swiped your axe at her shins, and struck her right in the calf muscle.

“Ah!” she cried in pain, and fell to the floor beside you, where you propped yourself up on your knees and finally struck her in the head, with a hideous squelch as your axe pierced through both her own face and the flesh of her mask.

Somewhere in the darkness of the boarded up room, you heard Henry grunting, and remembered that there was still one more skin lurking. You rose to your feet and desperately tried to find the source of the sounds, but Dog was quicker. He’d gotten out of the closet with Lydia and tackled the skin who was attacking Henry.

Though he’d gotten a good blow to Henry’s leg with Henry’s own fighting stick, he was still able to kill him as Dog held him down.

“Henry!” you heard Lydia cry, and shined your flashlight in the direction of the voice until you saw the two of them.

Immediately, your eyes trailed to the large bloody gash in Henry’s leg, and you knew he needed stitches, and soon.

Meanwhile, Daryl was alone, on some other floor, fighting against three skins himself. He’d already taken out two of them, but the third, a huge man, standing at about six foot seven, was still alive, and Daryl could only assume this was the notorious Beta, because he was a hard son of a bitch to kill.

Daryl looked around with sharpened senses, trying to find out where the man would come from next. He heard rushed, heavy footsteps coming from the next room, and the next thing he knew, the giant of a man was bursting through the drywall and tackling him until he hit the wall behind him, bouncing off it like a ragdoll.

“The girl,” Beta growled, pulling a large knife from his pocket and glaring down at Daryl as he breathed heavily on the floor, the wind still knocked out of him from the hit. “Where is she?”

Daryl turned around and rose to his feet quickly, picking up a nearby two-by-four and swinging it at Beta, but he dodged the hit, and swung back at him with his knife. Daryl crouched under the man’s arm, and pulled out his own knives—two of them, as he’d become quite good at wielding two over the years.

To Daryl’s immense disappointment, Beta also had two knives, which were much bigger than his. Damnit, he thought. Everything about this asshole’s bigger.

The two sparred with their knives, back and forth, dodging each other’s swings, until Beta kicked Daryl in the stomach, sending him several feet backwards and hitting his back on the floor. He stood up quickly, but Beta picked him up like he weighed nothing and threw him back down, then picked him up again to hold him against a table saw, where he pressed Daryl down until his neck came dangerously close to the blade.

He grunted, straining all of his muscles to keep from being cut on the blade. This ain’t ideal.

“Where is she?”

Daryl used all of his strength to remove his arm from Beta’s grasp and elbow him in the stomach, then in the neck, until he was disoriented enough for him to shoulder him against a pane of glass.

The man seemed to be invincible, and soon barrelled forward to punch Daryl across the face, then picking him up and holding him against the wall before throwing him down again. Daryl got up quickly, pulling out his last pocket knife and stabbing Beta in the chest.

It didn’t faze him, not one bit. He hit Daryl again, this time sending him right through the drywall and into the next room.

Beta punched a bigger hole in the wall, coming through to find an empty room. The whole thing was almost reminiscent of a Charlie Chaplin-style slapstick comedy, except with the very real possibility that Daryl could die.

Unbeknownst to Beta, Daryl had swiftly settled himself into the stash under the floor you had found earlier, and covered it with the plank of wood. Beta walked right over it, instead focusing on the sheets hanging in front of the empty elevator shaft, thinking Daryl had gone in there.

“You and your people,” the man spoke into the void, “are nothing to me. Your world is already dead.”

Daryl slowly pulled back the sheet of wood, crawling quietly out from the hole and approaching Beta from behind.

“All I want is the girl.”

Beta turned his head, seeing the elevator buttons in the corner of his eye. That’s when he knew—Daryl wasn’t in the elevator, he was behind him, barrelling towards the large man and using all his might to shove him into the abyss.

He went down with a low grunt, and the only sound Daryl heard after that was the loud thud of his body hitting the bottom of the shaft.

When Daryl came back to meet the rest of you, he looked… like shit. As he always did, though, he brushed it off, though he felt like shit, too.

His priority now was getting you all out of there, and yours was getting Henry to a doctor. Though you knew how to give stitches, you didn’t have the proper equipment, not even in the first aid kit. The nearest settlement was your home—Alexandria.

Daryl was hesitant, but with some convincing, and a healthy dose of doe eyes, he figured it would be for the best. Of course, he didn’t want Lydia staying there, drawing her people to Alexandria, but Henry needed medical attention for his wound.

He finally gave into your idea: once Henry was patched up, you’d take him and Lydia to the Kingdom, where Carol could decide what was to be done with the boy and the girl he refused to go anywhere without.

En route to Alexandria, you were just excited to see your little girl again.

She was in the street, wearing her flower crown and the beaded necklace given to her by Carol, playing with RJ (Little Rick, as you called him), Judith, and Gracie, when she saw you and Daryl helping Henry into the infirmary.

“Mommy! Daddy!” she cried happily, running over to you and hugging you tightly. You swayed her back and forth in your arms, and felt Daryl lean down to hug both of you. Now in a kind of trap between both of your bodies, which smelled quite a bit like death, she turned to face Daryl. “You stink.”

He smiled and held her soft cheeks in his hands, bringing her forehead to his lips. “Ain’t me,” he said, and looked over Robin’s shoulder at you. “It’s your momma who stinks.”

When Henry was fixed up and you were able to return to your house and take a shower, you flopped onto your bed, with Dog following close behind, as Daryl played Barbies with Robin in her room.

You couldn’t even comprehend how he could stand up any longer, with how long the both of you had gone without sleep. Just minutes after hitting your pillow, you dozed off, and when you awoke hours later, it was dark out, and Dog was curled up by your side.

You had that horrible sense of not knowing what plane of existence you were on, that feeling you’d often get whenever you fell asleep during the day and woke up in the dark.

It wasn’t completely pitch black, though, as a dimly lit lantern had been placed on your bedside table, along with a glass of water and a small mason jar of bluebells.

“Daryl…” you mumbled into your pillow, smiling a little at the gesture.

Just then, you felt a familiar hand on your shoulder, gently rubbing you there. The weight was always so comforting, so warm and with a sense of love and devotion. There was no way that hand could belong to anyone other than Daryl.

“You awake?” he asked quietly.

“Barely,” you mumbled, then sighed as you turned yourself around to see Daryl weakly through your sleepy eyes. “Hi.”

“Hey,” he said, quirking his lip ever so slightly. You could see his tired, bruised face in the dim lighting. You wiggled your arm out from under the blanket he must’ve put over you as you slept and used your hand to caress his cheek.

“What time is it?” you asked.

“‘Bout nine,” he said. “Just put Robin to bed. Henry and Lydia are on the porch.”

You nodded. “Mmm, that’s good… Are those bluebells for me?”

He shook his head. “Nah, they’re for the dog.”

You flicked his nose. “Shut up. Thank you.”

He leaned down to kiss you, and rubbed his nose side to side against yours. “I’m sorry.”

“What for?” you asked, genuinely unsure of why he was apologizing to you.

“For makin’ you upset. Earlier, in that building.” He lowered his head. “You were right, about everything. You’re always right.”

You smiled. “Well, not always. I know you just want to keep everyone safe, but I think we’re doing the right thing, taking Lydia and Henry to the Kingdom. Aaron told me that Michonne’s allowing a revote for Alexandria’s participation in the fair. If it passes, it’ll finally feel like… like normal again.”

The fair at the Kingdom was something you had looked forward to when Alexandria participated, and sent their goods to be traded there. Now that the Kingdom’s infrastructure was beginning to fall apart, it was more important than ever for the survival of the settlement. All the groups participated—Alexandria, the Kingdom, the Hilltop, and Oceanside. The incident with Jocelyn made Michonne reconsider it, and as the years passed, she became more interested in isolating Alexandria. It seemed like now she was finally trying to reunite everyone, and it made you very happy.

“Got good news,” he said. “Council voted yes while you were catchin’ up on your beauty sleep. Alexandria’s goin’ to the fair.”

Your eyes widened. “Really?”

“Mhm,” he said. “And ya know what, I know a little girl who’d really love to go to that fair for the first time.”

You laughed, thinking of how much Robin would love to see the fair, and to play at all the booths with the other children. “Well,” you said, lifting yourself up and swinging your legs over the side of the bed, “first we’ve got to get those two kids to the Kingdom. We’re leaving tonight, right?”

Daryl shook his head, and took your hand in his. “Nah, jus’ me.” You gave him that familiar look, the one you always gave him when he insisted upon you staying home. “Robin said she doesn’t wanna be alone no more. Told ‘er Aaron would take care of ‘er, but she wants one of us here. S’gotta be you. I ain’t sendin’ you out there, not when those freaks are lookin’ for us.”

You squeezed his hand and sighed. “Daryl, even if they weren’t out there, you’d still find some excuse for me not to go.”

He nodded. “Yeah, I would, ‘cause there ain’t no reason for you to go out there, not this time. You should stay right here, least for tonight. You need the rest.”

You returned your legs to the bed and moved yourself closer to Daryl, pushing back his hair and looking at the bruises on his face. “I’m not the one who got tossed around by a big, not-so-friendly giant.”

He scoffed. He should’ve never told you about that, because not only were you very worried about him, but you kept reminding him that he got “tossed around.”

“Told ya, I won that fight,” he said, an air of confidence in his voice. “‘Sides, he wasn’t that big.”

You tilted your head in slight disbelief, but you played along. “He was no match for the great, heroic, noble Daryl Dixon.” You rubbed his shoulders as you kissed his cheek, but he swiftly pulled your lips to his, and pulled your body closer until your chests were pressed together. You giggled into his mouth at the sudden movements, and the feeling of his tongue tickling yours.

The man always was a sucker for flattery.

You tangled your fingers in his hair, and felt his hand travel to your lower back, igniting a fire in you.

“Can’t you stay home tonight?” you asked against his lips, though you knew the answer. He wasn’t going to risk having Lydia in Alexandria longer than she needed to be there. “Get a good night’s sleep…”

He raised an eyebrow. “‘Good night’s sleep?’ Woman, we both know why you want me in this bed, and it ain’t ‘cause you want me to sleep.”

You bit your lip. “Well, I do want you to sleep, eventually.”

“Nah,” he said before kissing your forehead. “We promised Michonne we’d get them outta here by tonight. Was just waitin’ for you to wake up ‘fore I left, sleepin’ beauty.”

He kissed you on the lips this time, and you wrapped your arms around him tightly before saying goodbye.

“Ain’t ya gonna say goodbye to them crazy kids?” he asked.

You shook your head. “No, because I’ll see them at the fair tomorrow. I’ll hitch a ride with Michonne.”

“Whatever you say, crazy woman.”

Daryl left that night, with Lydia and Henry, and in the morning, you, Robin, Judith, and Michonne took a wagon (a disassembled car that was now being powered by horses) to the Kingdom.

You sat up front with Michonne, the two girls in the rear seats playing hand games with each other.

“I think this is a good idea,” you said to Michonne. “Letting people go to the Kingdom again, having the fair. It’ll make us stronger.”

She nodded, but was quiet for a while. “It will,” she agreed, and there was an unspoken moment between the two of you, in which you understood Michonne’s fears of opening up the community again. After all, you both had that scar on your backs, and you both had so much to lose, but there was always going to be danger, it was just a matter of time before it found its way into Alexandria’s walls. Life had to go on regardless.

Out of the corner of your eye, you swore you saw Daryl coming out of the woods, and then you wondered if you were hallucinating him again, after all these years, but it really was him, with Lydia, Henry, and Dog following behind.

You raised an eyebrow. “You folks need a ride?” you asked.

Michonne stopped the horses, and Daryl shook his head as he looked at you. “Depends,” he said. “You headed to Kingdom?”

You laughed, and heard Robin call out to her father. “Hi, Daddy!”

“I don’t know,” you said, and looked back at Robin and Judith. “You girls think we’ve got enough room for them back there?”

The three piled up in what was once the trunk of the car, and Robin opted to sit on Daryl’s lap, and introduced herself rather shyly to Lydia, but she soon warmed up to her, showing her her flower crown and her stuffed rabbit.

It seemed like everything was going well, and that despite the encounters with Alpha’s people, perhaps things really would return to normal again. You knew you shouldn’t get your hopes up, that it was likely Alpha would try to find Lydia again, and maybe even seek vengeance, but it was hard to shake this feeling of optimism, this hope that nothing could ruin this day.

~

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[marvelmaniac2000]

The Winter Night 🌙 Druig x Reader (Smut)

Storyline: Druig runs his community day in and day out as normal, but one appearance turned into something deeper.

Word count: +1,500

Characters: Druig x Reader, Sprite

****Warning: plain vanilla unprotected sex, +18 content***

Side notes: Listen this isn’t my best work but hey I tried lol. There’s so many good Druig scenarios already taken, you tumblr writers making it harder for me to come up with some different material. -__-

***Definitely did not have the energy to edit this, I promise one day I will do better by yall*** lmao MISSPELLING/GRAMMAR

“I think Druig said the opening gates to his community was this way” Sprite sarcastically gestured.

“I think Druig said the opening gates to his community was this way” Sprite sarcastically gestured.

“We both know he only means well” you spoke sharply.

“But he was never genuine about it.” Sprite replied at you before cutting across you going the opposite direction toward a wooden gate. You shrugged off Sprite’s childlike behavior and followed close behind.

Centuries have passed since you and Druig shared a close friendship, but sometimes you wondered if there was more that appeared in his mind. Sprite’s jacket mirrored the grey undertones in the clouds.

“What time did he tell us to come?” Sprite shivered in her jacket.

“On Druig’s time” you blew a puff of cold air. Within seconds later Druig reappeared from between the tall brown wooden gates. His tall broad shoulders reappeared from behind each corridor. His stature stood prominent while approaching with only his eyes pierced between his friends.

“We have so much to talk about” Druig motioned his hand to be followed. You and Sprite shivered behind him inside the community. Within opposite sides were shelters and homes built by people alike. Druig lead you guys to a bigger set building that was placed in the center part of the woods. Inside the entrance felt warmth with multiple spacious rooms and interior decor. Without failure Sprite spoke with unease. “Where’s everyone else?”

“They said they would make it as soon as they can” Druig walked up to you. “However, I wanted to see (Y/N) first,” he gazed into your eyes.

You cleared your throat trying to change the subject. “I think me and Sprite are going to get some rest while we wait for the others” you darted your eyes down the hall.

“I think there’s at least centuries old topics we need to discuss first” Druig hinted toward you.

You gave a deep breath and reluctantly obliged. Druig asked his assistant to escort Sprite to her own room for rest.

“I need you to follow me for a sec” Druig lead you upstairs to a room that showcased a night sky glass ceiling. The winter day vanished into complete darkness that now sparkled multiple stars.

The view of the night sky was so close that you could almost kiss each star with your eyes.

Druig smirked at you while watching you gaze upon his room.

“This is the only place that I can feel free of people's thoughts and my own,” he stated. Druig leaned over you from behind and directly pointed toward a constellation.

“You see that star right there? That is Orion, and you remember how that story came about?” he whispered.

You remember hearing the folk tales like yesterday. “One of the celestial hunters that can beat any beast” you stated.

“And the cause of his death was his pride” Druig ran his finger down the crook of your neck. A cold shiver ran down your neck from the sensation. You gently turned around to trace his face for more meaning.

“I try my hardest to never interfere with human problems but I find it necessary to protect you and the other eternals. But when I do read your thoughts I sense pride stops you from me.” He replied.

You were already tired from the long trip getting here and didn’t have much fight to argue with him about this again. His face looked more calm and vibrant than you remembered before.

“I’m just happy you are doing better. Now I don’t want you to cause any more rift but just for the heck of it, I will put my pride to the side for this century in particular" you grinned.

Druig smirked at your comment and slowly grazed his lips with yours. His hand snaked around your waist while you continued to close the space between you two. Your hands grasped the nape of his neck to deepen the kiss. His became to be more aroused and impatient just from your kiss. His hands wrapped around your legs to hoist you up around immediately felt him harden between your thighs. He carried you over to his bed that overlooked the night sky. He gently laid you on your back and buttoned your blouse. Your breath began to quicken feeling his icy cold hands between each button. He helped you remove your blouse while planting kisses down your neck. You moan into his ear while tracing your fingers down his muscular back. You bit your bottom lip feeling nothing but wetness between your legs. Druig pressed his weight off of you to remove his shirt and pants. After removing your own shirt and pants, Druig unclipped the back of your bra to reveal your breasts. His mouth wrapped around your left nipple sucking the hardened numb while caressing the other.

You squirm under his touch as he watches your face twist in moan. Soon after he gave the other breast the same treatment before moving on to the next one. His tongue swirled around in circular motions around the numb. Sucking it until each one hardens. Druig gently moved on to your panties pulling them gently with his teeth. Your wetness throbbed harder feeling his breath near your lips.

“I’ve been wanting to get back to what’s mine” he growled while gently teasing the tip of his tongue between the folds of your lips. You squirm in anticipation wanting him to lick deeper. He parted your lips and slowly stroked your clit in an up and down motion. You whimper pushing your hips toward his mouth more. The corners of Druig’s lips curled up hearing you become a moaning mess.

“Please Druig” you wanted him to deepen his hot tongue further around your pink flesh. He moaned at your request and licked his entire tongue from the bottom of your opening to the top of your clit again. Druig began to harden more seeing how turned you were becoming. But right before he could continue anymore, he abruptly stopped to climb back on top of you. His boxers caused more sexual friction between your wet folds and you frantically nudged him to take them off.

Druig didn’t want to waste time any longer and wanted to be inside you even more from years of built up love inside his mind. He parted ways with his pants and climbed back on top of you to soak in the beauty that you are under the moonlight and stars. The bedroom for a split moment was silent as you both looked at each other. His hips positioned himself between your legs before aiming his tip at the wet crease of your folds. He lowered himself down to wrap his arms around you gently pushing his member deeper into you.

Druig feverishly whispered sweet nothings into your ear more and more while you hold on tightly to his bare back. You breath hitched as he slowly began to stroke in and out of you feeling his member easily glide from your juices.

He wanted to fuck you senseless but he wanted to soak in every moment before the other eternals arrived. His soft lips dragged across your earlobe, until he reached the soft spot of your neck. You moaned out for him to go faster to the point you could relish more of his dick stroking your g spot. He did what he was told and quicken his pace to match your eagerness. You leaned your head back and gazed upon the stars in pleasure. Druig growled as he quicken his pace.

You feel heat build between your feet and your stomach tighten. You ushered Druig to keep going until there was nothing but screams pouring out your lips. “just a few more strokes” Druig lowered himself to kiss you deeply on the lips to the point where you almost taste your own juices. Next thing you know you, you instantly feel your walls pulsate more from each stroke deeping from the next. Sweat begin to build up his back.

“I can’t hold on any longer Druig” you whispered. He ignored your plead and stroked harder. Before you could catch your breath, A steep orgasm swept throughout your whole body. Your insides felt even warmer since being in the crisp cold. His strokes slowly decreased before finally matching his high with yours. He stroked your cheek, studying your every thought. You stared back into his eyes in the dark shadows relishing in each other’s presence, before there was a startled knock at the door...

[anonymousewrites]

Logos and Pathos (Book 1) Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten: In the Asylum

            “Hello, Captain Kirk,” greeted Adams. “And, uh…?”

            “Lieutenant (Y/N) (L/N).” They introduced themselves politely while looking around the room. Soft, warm lighting illuminated a gentle white room with golden wood and plants all around.

            “A pleasure to finally meet you, Doctor,” said Kirk, shaking Adams’s hand. “Thank you, thank you, Captain. And welcome to Devil’s Island, Lieutenant.”

            “I look forward to seeing your work, Doctor,” said (Y/N), nodding to him.

            “I believe regulations call for me to check my weapon,” said Kirk, going to unclip his phaser.

            Adams chuckled and waved a hand. “Oh, no, no. That won’t be necessary in your case, Captain. Just, uh, keep it out of sight, hmm? I know you people feel as naked without a weapon as I do without a medkit.”

            “If you have violent patients like Van Gelder, are you sure it’s wise to keep a weapon out? It seems like an unnecessary temptation to recovering patients,” remarked (Y/N).

            Laughing dismissively, Adams shook his head. “Nonsense. Van Gelder is the only problem we’ve had in a long time, and even that is because of his unfortunate accident. As long as you don’t seem threatening, there is no reason for any patients to worry.” He walked over to a liquor cabinet and pulled out some glasses. “A toast? It’s such a great day for us here on Tantalus when we have visitors, no matter what the excuse.” He poured alcohol into each glass.

            “Doctor—”

            “Please, Captain, you made your apologies upstairs. Now forget it,” reiterated Adams.

            Even if he wasn’t suspicious, his constant interrupting would be irritating. (Y/N) watched him and focused intently on the wisps of emotions floating from him. He seemed perfectly at ease, all smiles and joy, no nerves at all. Still, (Y/N) had learned to never rely on the emotions they sensed alone. Some people hid their feelings easily, and a psychologist like Adams was likelier than the average person to be able to do so

            As they considered their observations, Kirk tried to turn on the communicator. “I don’t think you’ll be able to get through the security screen, Captain,” said Adams. “Just a second.” He pressed a button. “Here, now try it.” (Y/N) noted where the device was so that they could use it themselves if anything happened.

            “Kirk to Enterprise. Come in,” said Kirk.

            “Enterprise, Spock here,” came the answer.

            “Your landing coordinates were right on the nose, Mr. Spock,” said Kirk. He bit back a smile and gestured to (Y/N). “Lieutenant, we arrived in one piece, didn’t we?”

            Confused as to why Kirk wanted them to respond as well but not one to avoid talking to a friend, (Y/N) smiled and said, “Yes! Exactly the right coordinates, and we’re here with Dr. Adams.”

            “Affirmative,” replied Spock. “Enterprise standing by.”

            Kirk clicked the communicator off, a door slid open beside them, and a woman stepped out.

            “Ah, Lethe,” greeted Adams. “Come in.”

            “Lethe,” the river of forgetfulness from the Underworld in human’s Greek mythology, recalled (Y/N). I wonder what her parents were thinking when they named her that.

            “Lethe, this is Captain Kirk and Lieutenant (L/N),” introduced Adams. Lethe looked at them blankly, and (Y/N)’s skin prickled as Lethe’s unnaturally bland contentment rolled over them. “Lethe came to us for rehabilitation and stayed on as a therapist. And a very good one, too, I might add. Go right ahead, ask her anything you’d like.”

            “Before you came here?” asked Kirk.

            “I was another person,” answered Lethe. “Malignant, hateful.”

            “May I ask why you were sent here?” (Y/N) stepped forward and focused, trying to catch a hint of another emotion in Lethe.

            She just blinked, the bland complacency still permeating her. “Does it matter? That person no longer exists.”

            “Uh, part of our cure, if you will, Captain, is to bury the past,” said Adams.

            “Suppression has been found to be harmful for one’s psyche. Acceptance and learning to cope are more beneficial,” said (Y/N), crossing their arms.

            “Maybe in ordinary cases, but to find peace here on Tantalus, and my other colonies, moving on and forgetting the past is more important,” said Adams.

            (Y/N) hummed in acknowledgment and raised an eyebrow. They weren’t quite convinced, but they wouldn’t condemn him yet (but it wouldn’t take much more to do so).

            “Why should a person go on living with unbearable memories if there’s no neces…?” He trailed off and smiled. “They hold our patients back. We simply alleviate the problems keeping them from rehabilitation.” Adams picked up glasses and held them out. “Now, for a toast.” He smiled. “To all mankind,” he said as he lifted the glass. “May we never find space so vast, planets so cold, heart and mind so empty that we cannot fill with love and warmth.” They all took a drink and placed their glasses back down. “Now, may I offer our guests a tour of our facility?”

            “We’d love one,” said (Y/N), quite truthfully. With Lethe’s blankness and Adams’s unshaking jovialness, it was impossible for them to get a read of anything with emotions.

            “I’ve always wanted to see a facility where you’re on staff, Doctor,” said Kirk.

            “Then I will not deprive you,” chuckled Adams.

l

            “Quite a tour, Doctor. Very impressive,” said Kirk.

            (Y/N) nodded, though their own opinion was quite different. The unsettling contentment, never changing, always constant, present in every patient was unnerving. It also contributed to the number of suspicious happenings (Y/N) had picked up on. Still, if there was a danger, they would be a fool to speak in front of Adams.

            “Thank you,” said Adams graciously.

            “What is that room?” asked (Y/N) nodding to one off to the side. “It looks like an operation room.”

            Adams chuckled. “I was afraid you’d ask about that. One doesn’t like to talk about their personal failures, you know. Just an experiment that went wrong, I’m afraid.” He tried to turn away, but (Y/N), after getting the first slight dip in comfort from him, was determined to prod more.

            “May we see it?” asked Kirk, also catching on to how it may be where Van Gelder had his accident.

            “If my guest insists, who am I to deny them?” said Adams, stepping into the room, but (Y/N) sensed a flicker of nerves for a moment. Maybe it was embarrassment, maybe more… So, without further thought, they followed Adams in.

l

            Hundreds of miles above, the Enterprise orbited Tantalus, and inside, Spock and Bones stood next to Van Gelder in the infirmary. He had awoken and grown panicked once more, but neither officer interrupted him since they hoped his rambling would lead to valuable information.

            “I’m not a criminal!” he cried. “I do not require…” He groaned as pain shot through him from no discernable source other than his mind. “…neural neutralizer!”

            “Neural neutralizer?” Spock raised an eyebrow and leaned down towards Van Gelder. “Can you explain that, Dr. Van Gelder?” His voice was serious as usual, but tinged with a hint of urgency. He needed the information as soon as possible.

            “A room!” gasped Van Gelder. “A device. Door! Control panel!” The words stuttered out of him as he trembled and shivered as pain grasped his body. “Ceiling! Device. A light! Light!” He lurched up, but the restraints held him down.

            Spock grabbed his attention once again and sharply questioned him. “This room, what happens there?” Van Gelder gasped as he tried to push the words out, but the only sound that left his mouth was tormented yells. Spock sighed in exasperation and held Van Gelder still while Bones administered a hypo to let Van Gelder sleep (and escape the agony).

            “What do you think a neural neutralizer is?” asked Bones.

            “If Dr. Adams is to be trusted, then it would be a tool he used to try to treat Van Gelder,” said Spock.

            “And if he can’t be trusted? If he is why Van Gelder, his former associate, is strapped down like an animal?”

            “Then we would need to warn the Lieutenant (L/N),” said Spock. “And the Captain.”

            “Why haven’t we warned them already?” grumbled Bones.

            “Because we have no proof of Dr. Adams being anything other than what he says. It would be illogical to notify them if we do not have the facts,” said Spock.

            “And if something happens while they’re unaware of the danger they’re in?” said Bones. Before Spock could interject, he held up a hand. “If there’s a danger, of course.”

            Spock was quiet for a moment. “The Captain and (L/N) are adept at getting into and out of trouble. And if we decide they are in need of assistance, then we will step in.”

            “I hope it doesn’t come to that,” muttered Bones.

            “Hope is illogical. We can only help them by uncovering the facts.” Spock looked at Bones even more seriously than he usually did. “We need to know what the neural neutralizer is.”

l

            “And this is the neural neutralizer,” said Adams. “Actually, we don’t get much use out of it at all.” He gestured to the man reclined in a chair, staring up at a light embedded in the ceiling. “That beam from above neutralizes brain waves. Relaxes him. Does him no harm, of course, and the effects are only temporary.”

            “Why do you keep it if it doesn’t do any good?” asked (Y/N).

            “Hope. Yes, yes, there’s always that slight chance that it might do some good in the more violent cases,” said Adams. “Chemicals and drugs can be damaging after a time, while this does no harm to patients.”

            Kirk smiled and looked at (Y/N). “You see? You had no need to worry about drug-abuse.”

            (Y/N) smiled. Though it was good that drugs weren’t constantly affecting the patients, it still left the question of why they were so blank. Drugs would have accounted for it, but if Adams was telling the truth about no chemicals, then…there was a problem. Adams turned and began to lead them out, but (Y/N) paused next to the worker and asked, “How does it work?”

            “Quite simple.” He gestured to the control panel. “Off, on switches. Then the large control here changes the strength of the brain neutralizing beam.”

            “Lieutenant,” said Adams, a seriousness in his voice that somehow unnerved (Y/N) more than the complacency surrounding them did. “You remind me of the ancient skeptic who demanded the wise old sage to teach them all the world’s wisdom while standing on one foot. Beam neutralizing, as you know, has been experimented with throughout the centuries. While you may not recognize this particular equipment, I can assure you that it isn’t a chamber of horrors.”

            “I suspect my Lieutenant asked merely because you haven’t mentioned where Dr. Van Gelder’s injury occurred,” interjected Kirk.

            “Right here,” said Adams. Questioning why Adams hadn’t mentioned it, Kirk frowned and looked at him for an explanation. “Yes, Simon was a very stubborn man. He could have sat in that room for years with the beam at its current volume, or even higher. Or if he simply had someone standing by to snap it off in case he got into trouble…But no. He tried it alone and on full volume. It’s a pity.”

            “So it can do damage?” confirmed Kirk.

            “Only at full power and after prolonged exposure. Besides that, it is just relaxing,” said Adams, and before anyone could ask him any more ((Y/N) sensed a slight annoyance at the questions), he walked out of the room. (Y/N) and Kirk glanced at each other before following him out.

l

            Back in Adams’s office, Kirk checked in with Spock and Bones once more.

            “Can you give us your current location, Captain, Lieutenant?” asked Spock.

            “In Dr. Adams’s study, why?” asked Kirk.

            “Then you’re with Dr. Adams now?”

            “Yes,” said (Y/N).

            Aboard the Enterprise, Spock sighed and sat down. “Captain…Van Gelder has made reference to a particular treatment room. The term was ‘neural neutralizer.’ ”

            “Yes, he was injured there,” said Kirk. “We’ve seen the room. Dr. Adams explained the mistake Van Gelder made.” Spock and Bones exchanged glances. “Go ahead, Mr. Spock. Anything further?” He received no answer.

            “Your Mr. Spock sounds like a very excellent second-in-commander, Captain Kirk,” said Adams.

            “He’s said to be the best First Officer in Starfleet,” said (Y/N), smiling slightly.

            “Then he is welcome to speak freely here,” said Adams. “I have to check in with a member of my staff, anyway.” With a final polite smile, he exited the study.

            “Dr. Adams has left with some things to attend to,” said Kirk. “What is it, Mr. Spock?”

            “Van Gelder is extremely agitated and warns that you’re in danger,” reported Spock.

            “According to Adams, Van Gelder created his own problem,” said Kirk, relaying his own knowledge. “He’s suffering from neural sinus…” He glanced at (Y/N) since they were more knowledgeable on the brain.

            “ ‘Neural synapse damage,’ like a brain short-circuiting or a conductor you try to send too much power through,” said (Y/N). “It’s supposedly why he’s delusional.”

            “McCoy here, received and understood,” said Bones. “But we still have some doubts up here. Can you tell us any more?”

            “Not really,” said Kirk.

            “When do you plan to beam back up?” asked Spock.

            “I think we’ll spend the night here, Mr. Spock.”

            Van Gelder jerked up in his restraints. “No! No, no, no, no, no…!” The sound echoed through the communicator and sent shivers down (Y/N) and Kirk’s backs.

            “And you will continue to check in every four hours? Both of you?” asked Spock.

            “Affirmative,” said Kirk.

            “Of course,” responded (Y/N).

            “Kirk and (L/N) out.” The Captain closed the communicator.

            “No, no, no, don’t let them! You must warn your Captain! You must warn your Lieutenant! No, No!” While (Y/N) and Kirk stood in Adams’s study far below, aboard the Enterprise, Van Gelder grew more and more panicked. “Don’t let them stay! Don’t let them stay!” Bones grabbed a hypo. “No, please, don’t hypo me! Don’t hypo me…” Bones paused as clarity entered Van Gelder’s voice. “I’ll try not to fight. I’ll try. But you must listen. Warn your Captain, warn your Lieutenant. Dr. Adams…” He strained against the bonds of pain. “…will destroy…”

            Spock tightened his grip on Van Gelder’s shoulder. “Destroy how? What?” His voice was sharp and to the point.

            “Like…death!” gasped Van Gelder.

            Spock drew back and took a deep breath. Bones watched in curiosity as Spock seemed to be deep in thought. “There is one option. It has never been done on a human, but…”

            “What is it?” asked Bones.

            “I could attempt to probe Van Gelder’s mind with a Vulcan Mind Meld,” said Spock.

            “Well, if there’s the slightest possibility it might help—”

            “A human has never experienced it, Doctor,” repeated Spock.

            Bones huffed exasperatedly. “But if we can look into this man’s mind to see if what he’s saying is true or delusion—”

            “It’s a hidden, personal thing to the Vulcan people,” said Spock. “Part of our private lives.”

            “No, look, Spock, Jim Kirk and (Y/N) (L/N) could be in real trouble,” snapped Bones, trying to remind Spock of who he was protecting. “Will it work or not?!”

            Spock was quiet as he walked back to Van Gelder’s side. “It could be dangerous.” He addressed Van Gelder. “Do you understand? It requires I make pressure changes in your nerves, your blood vessels.”

            “You must open my mind,” pleaded Van Gelder. “Let me warn you, explain to you.”

            As Spock placed his hands carefully on Van Gelder’s face, he said, “This will not affect you, Dr. McCoy. Only the person I touch. It is not hypnosis.”

            “I understand,” said Bones gravely.

            Spock closed his eyes and focused. As his mind connected with Van Gelder’s, the patient’s vitals leveled out. Bones blinked in surprise but remained quiet, not wanting to interrupt the mind probe.

            “You begin to feel a strange euphoria,” he murmured. Spock relaxed Van Gelder through words since his current state interrupted the connection. Normally, it would only take his own mind’s presence to form a meld. “Your body floats.”

            “Yes…” breathed Van Gelder. “I begin to feel it.”

            “We move together. Our minds sharing the same thoughts…What is our name? Who are we?”

            “We are Simon Van Gelder,” drawled the patient in a trance-like voice.

            “Dr. Adams…the neural neutralizer,” prompted Spock. “What did he do to us?”

            “He can reshape any mind he chooses. He used it to erase our memories, put his own thoughts there. He was surprised it took so much power. We fought him, remember? But we grew so tired, our mind so blank, so open, that any thought he placed became our thoughts,” murmured Van Gelder. Bones frowned as he realized how much power Dr. Adams held. “Our mind so empty, like a sponge needing thoughts…begging…empty…Loneliness. So lonely to be sitting there empty. Wanting any word from him. Love…”

            “Yes,” said Spock.

            “Hate…”

            “Yes.”

            “Live…”

            “Yes.”

            “Die…”

            “Yes.”

            “Such agony, to be empty,” muttered Van Gelder.

            “Empty,” repeated Spock. “So lonely, so empty.” Van Gelder’s eyes fluttered close and fell asleep, releasing the connection. Spock blinked and straightened, the relaxed, close-to-emotional state he had dissipating in an instance.

            “Spock, we need to warn (Y/N) and Jim,” said Bones.

            Spock’s even more serious than usual eyes gazed at Bones. “Yes, we do. They have no idea what the neural neutralizer is capable of.”

            “Let’s hope we can get through to them before they do anything stupid,” muttered Bones. “I regret sending the two of them down together.”

[uraveragelonelysapphic]

Another Love

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!reader

Summary: You meet Wanda at a grief group, as she’s struggling to heal after Vision’s death. Will you help her heal? Will your friendship grow into something more?

Word count: 2.8k

Warnings: grief

Theme: Angst, Fluff

A/N: I have been working on this one all day, and I think it’s alright! It’s my first oneshot on this account, so please go easy on me! I hope you enjoy!

(Shoutout to @theloveclub-18 for the idea! I super appreciate it!)

“Thank you all for being so open this evening. I hope to see you all next week. Let the healing continue.”

As various people mumbled back “let the healing continue,” Wanda fought the urge to roll her eyes.

It had been six months since Vision’s death, and four months since she had started attending a grief group recommended by Bucky. She had tried to insist to him that it was useless but he begged her to try it out. Now, here she was, four months later, still feeling as broken as she had the day she watched the love of her life be killed. Twice. One might ask why she continued to attend the sessions weekly when she felt she hadn’t made any progress. Why had she spent 16 of her Wednesday nights at a grief group when she felt it was pointless? The answer is simple: the food.

The session always had a table full of freshly baked goods from Sugar, Butter, Flour, a bakery just down the road from the community center holding the sessions. Every week, Wanda would sit through listening to people talk about their heartbreak, and, when pushed to confront her own trauma, reluctantly share just enough to satisfy the facilitator. And she did it all just to have a few moments of sheer joy, letting whatever delicious creation the bakery had provided that week wash over her taste buds and temporarily take her away from this cruel world that had ripped her love from her.

Wanda grabbed her purse and made a beeline for the table full of goodies. She had been running late today, so she didn’t get a chance to grab anything before the session, leaving her options limited. There was only one cookie left, but as she reached for it, her hand brushed against someone else’s, causing her to pull her hand back quickly.

“I’m sorry-”

“No it’s fine, I shouldn’t have-”

“Please it’s all yours-”

You cleared your throat and shot her a sheepish smile before extending your hand to her.

“I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you.”

Wanda looks at your hand skeptically and you awkwardly retract it when you realize she won’t be shaking it.

“I’m Wanda,” she says hesitantly, her eyes flashing to the cookie, and then the exit.

You tried again. “So you like the cookies here too?”

She meets your Y/E/C eyes impatiently before sighing.

“Yeah, I’ll just grab one next week, though, I really gotta go,” she says, starting towards the exit.

You watch her leave, intrigued by the girl, before you snap back to reality.

*****************************************************************************************************

Wanda is almost to her car when she hears footsteps behind her and quickly turns around, her eyes glowing red.

You stare at her, wide-eyed, the remaining cookie in your hand.

“Shit, Wanda, I’m sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, I just wanted to give you this.”

Wanda sighs, her eyes returning to their normal color. She pinches the bridge of her nose. Remorse fills her face. Her grief had caused her to be angrier than usual, leading to her powers flaring up accidentally. And now she had frightened this woman who was just trying to give her a damn cookie.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have reacted like that. Thank you for the cookie. I promise I’m not always scary I just, I-”

You stopped her. “Hey, it’s fine. If I heard someone running at me in a parking lot in the middle of the night, I would be on edge too. I shouldn’t have snuck up on you like that. Plus, you’re...well...here,” you paused, gesturing to the community center the two of you had just come from, before continuing, “so I think it’s safe to assume you aren’t having the best time. I get it. If there’s any way I can help, please let me know.”

Wanda was at a loss for words. She had nearly struck you with her powers and here you were, looking at her with a gentle smile and no fear on your face whatsoever.

After a few minutes of silence, you awkwardly placed the napkin-wrapped cookie on the hood of her car, before stepping back and smiling at her yet again.

“I’ll see you next week, Wanda. Have a good night,” you say, waving at her before you walk out of the parking lot and down the block.

*****************************************************************************************************

Only, you didn’t see her in Group the following week.

After leaving the community center, you were about to head down the block when you noticed her car in the parking lot, with her in it. You gently approached her car, tapping on the window quietly in an attempt to not startle her.

She looked up at you with puffy, red-rimmed eyes, before rolling down her window.

“May I help you?”

Her tone was much harsher than she intended, and she winced at it, but you merely smiled at her, unaffected, before digging through your bag and pulling out a tupperware container of chocolate chip cookies.

“They had leftovers tonight, you want some?”

And you had shocked Wanda yet again.

“Sure.”

You reached forward to hand the cookies to her through the window when Wanda decided to take a leap of faith.

“You can come sit in here and share them with me, I wouldn’t mind some company,” She says quietly before adding, “I’ll warn you, though, I’m a bit of a trainwreck right now.”

You laughed softly before opening the door to the passenger side of her car and sliding in. You looked at her with soft eyes.

“Trainwrecks unite.”

*****************************************************************************************************

Wanda told you everything that night. She told you about Vision, about her love for him, and his for her. About how he was the first since her brother died to look at her like a person, and not a monster. She told you all about the sleepless nights, the nightmares, the desperate need for it to end.

And you listened. You watched her intently the whole time. You held her hand comfortingly as her body wracked with sobs. You were there. And that night, you didn’t know why, but you made a promise to always be there for the beautiful redhead with the lost hope.

That night was the first time since Vision’s death that Wanda slept soundly through the night. No nightmares. No suffering.

It had been three months since that night. Since then, it became a habit for the two of you to spend Wednesday nights following group sessions in her car, chatting about anything and everything. And Wanda had to admit, she was okay. For the first time since Vision’s death, she didn’t wish she could join him. She didn’t want to stay isolated in her room. She wanted to live. She wanted to show people the kindness you’d shown her. She woke every Wednesday with a smile, and you on her mind.

*****************************************************************************************************

This Wednesday, you appeared nervous as you got into the passenger side of Wanda’s car.

Wanda noticed this right off the bat.

“Y/N, are you okay?”

You start fidgeting with your fingers and look down at your lap as you respond. 

“Yeah, I just...I have to tell you something. Promise you won’t get mad.”

Wanda looks at you with a gentle smile.

“Y/N, you’re my best friend, I could never get mad at you. What is it?”

You took a deep breath and looked up at Wanda, before asking the question.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

Wanda’s eyes widened and she froze.

You tried to dig yourself out of the hole.

“Nevermind, forget I said anything, I never should’ve-”

“No.” Wanda said quietly.

“What?”

“No. I can’t. God, I could never love you.”

You felt your heart shatter in your chest.

Wanda quickly realized the weight of her words, and tried to fix them, “Y/N, no, sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, I-”

“It’s fine, Wanda. I have to go.”

With that, you scrambled out of the car and walked out of the parking lot and down the block, with tears streaming down your face, and your heart broken.

*****************************************************************************************************

Wanda couldn’t believe she had said that. The truth is, she didn’t know if she had room in her heart for more than one love. She had loved Vision. He was everything to her. Could she also love you?

For the rest of the week, Wanda was beyond conflicted. She knew she had to apologize to you, but she didn’t want to do so until she had sorted out her own feelings. You deserved a solid answer.

It was Tuesday night. She would see you again tomorrow. And she still didn’t know. She tossed and turned that night for hours before she finally fell asleep, you and Vision occupying her mind, per usual.

She was in a field of flowers. It was beautiful. She thought about how she might like to show it to you. And then she heard someone. Someone she thought she would never hear from or see again.

“Wanda, darling.”

“Vision?” She spun around, and there he was, smiling at her.

“It’s okay, you know,” He said. Wanda was confused. He continued, “The feelings that you’re feeling. For her. It’s okay.”

She laughed, “You always did know me better than I knew myself.”

Vision smiled softly at her.

“Vision, I love you. I love you so much. I can’t let you go.”

“Wanda, no one is asking you to. You can move on without letting my memory slip away from you.”

Wanda nods softly, thinking intently about what he said.

“Tell me about her,” he encourages.

Wanda smiles.

“She’s so gentle. And so stubborn. I almost hurt her when we first met but she didn’t cower. She wasn’t afraid. She didn’t look at me like a monster. She made me laugh for the first time since you...you know. She fidgets with her fingers when she’s nervous. She does this adorable head tilt when she’s listening intently. She’s patient. She’s kind. She’s...she’s everything,” Wanda realizes, awestruck.

Vision approaches her.

“You love her.”

She looks at him, concerned. “Is that okay?”

He merely smiles. “Darling, of course it’s okay. She sounds wonderful. You deserve her. You deserve love, even if it isn’t with me. You deserve happiness.”

Wanda grabs his hands. “Thank you, Vision. For your love. I think it will always be a part of me. But I’m ready to move on. I love her. I’m ready.”

Vision squeezes her hands gently. “That you are, Wanda. I’ll always love you. Now go. Go to her.”

*****************************************************************************************************

Wanda shot up, breathing deeply. This time, she only had one person on her mind: you. “I love her,” she whispers softly to herself. She smiles, but it quickly fades when she remembers the words she said to you last week. She had to make this right.

*****************************************************************************************************

She arrived at Group early, noticing with a frown that the snack table was empty. She knew she would need some baked goods to give her the courage to approach you, so she approached the facilitator, Mindy, and cleared her throat to get Mindy’s attention.

“Um, hello, ma’am, I was just wondering where the goodies are? They’re usually here by now,” she said.

Mindy smiled at the girl. “I’m sorry, dear, but there won’t be any baked goods today. Y/N called me earlier, and told me she wouldn’t be able to make it.”

“Y/N? What does she have to do with-” Wanda pauses. Holy shit. You were the owner of Sugar, Butter, Flour. You had been the one making the goodies that fueled her to keep attending the group. You had been the provider of her temporary escape from the world. You did that. It truly was always you. She had to find you.

“Are you alright, dear?” Mindy asked.

Wanda shook her head. “No, there’s something I need to do. Thank you for your help, ma’am.” And with that, she sprinted out the door, got into her car, and pulled out of the parking lot.

*****************************************************************************************************

Wanda didn’t know where she was going. She just knew she had to find you. And then it started raining. No, not just raining. Pouring. This made it incredibly hard for Wanda to see where she was going, but she was determined.

As she drove, she realized something. She had told you everything about herself. You had listened, asked questions. But she never once asked about you. Hell, she didn’t even know you baked for a living until 15 minutes ago. She didn’t even know why you attended the grief group.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t realize she had driven all the way to the park at the edge of town, until she saw you. You were sitting on a bench, in the pouring rain, sobbing and shaking. Her heart broke at the sight. She quietly got out of her car.

“Y/N?” She called your name softly, approaching you with caution.

Your head snapped up.

“Wanda?”

She smiled weakly at you, and suddenly your eyes filled with more tears as you began to shake again.

“I tried to go to Group and act like everything was normal, I really tried, Wanda, but I just couldn’t, I’m sorry, I’m so-”

Wanda rushed over to you, engulfing you in a hug, holding you tightly as you sobbed.

“It’s okay, malyshka, it’s alright. You didn’t do anything wrong. Breathe, sweet girl. I’m here. I’m right here, I promise.”

She continued to hold you and speak comforting words to you for what felt like hours, until your sobs eventually died down, and you pulled away, sniffling. You looked up at the sky as if just remembering it was pouring, before standing up from the bench.

“Sorry about that. We should probably go inside, it’s pouring, and I don’t want you to-”

“I love you,” Wanda blurted out, leaving you speechless. She stood up and took your hands, mentally breathing a sigh of relief when you don't pull away. “I’m in love with you. I’m so sorry for not admitting it to myself, or you, sooner. Me saying that I could never love you? That was the grief speaking. I shouldn’t have let it control me like that. And I’m done. I’m done letting it control me. The truth is, anyone would be lucky to love you. And I do. I love you. I love your smile, I love your kind heart. I love your baked treats, which, by the way, I just learned were yours about an hour ago,” She says, and you let out a wet laugh. “I shouldn’t have said those things,” She continued, “It was wrong. I’m in love with you. And I understand if you don’t want to give me a second chance, because-”

You cut her off by smashing your lips against hers, and without hesitation, she kissed back, her arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you impossibly closer. The two of you only pulled away when you let out a violent shiver because of the rain. She looked at you concerned, but you merely laughed, pulling her in for another kiss.

*****************************************************************************************************

“Detka, I’m home!” Wanda called out, wondering where you were. Her questions were answered when a delicious smell hit her. She walked into the kitchen and smiled adoringly at you. You were moving around the kitchen, flour in your hair, and batter all over your clothes, completely in your own little world.

“Detka,” Wanda tries again, and you spin around, holding a spatula out in front of you as a form of defense.

“Shit, Wanda, sorry, you scared me!” You said, breathing a sigh of relief.

“My how the tables have turned,” she says teasingly, before removing the spatula from your hand and licking it.

“Wanda,” you pouted, “I was using that! Now I have to wash it!”

Wanda kissed the pout off of your face, before smiling at you triumphantly at doing so.

“Or, you could stop baking for the night and come cuddle with me and watch Bewitched,” she suggested, giving you those adorable puppy dog eyes.

You rolled your eyes playfully. “You know I can’t resist that face. Okay. Give me 10 minutes to get showered and then I’ll join you on the couch.”

“I’ll be counting!” She called as you made your way to the bathroom.

It had been 5 years since that night in the rain, and as she sat down on the couch, gazing down at the wedding band that adorned her left hand, she still couldn’t believe how she had gotten so lucky to find another love. You were beautiful, kind, and patient, and she loved you with every ounce of her heart.

“What are you thinking about, pretty girl?” You asked with a smile, before settling down next to her on the couch and curling into her side.

“You. It’s always you,” she replied, kissing your temple.

You smile lovingly at her. “I love you, Wanda.”

“And I love you, beautiful girl.”

And as the two of you sat there, snuggled up, and watched Bewitched, both of you were so grateful that Wanda had made room for another love.

[huenjin]

the study of relationships.

summary — college team's volleyball captain and your roommate-cum-best friend, hwang hyunjin argues with you over guys being better than girls in relationships to help you out of one. or in which hyunjin is in love with you for years now and he finally decides that maybe he doesn't want that best friend tag anymore.

pairing — hwang hyunjin x reader, ft. minho

genre — fluff, angst | volleyball!au, f2l!au, roommates!au

rating — nc-17

word count — 15k words

note — kinda excited to post this very long plotted fic on here because first long fic for skz !!! this fic is brought to you by hq, hyunjin's long blond hair and b me mv that we never got. please please do send me constructive criticism so that i can improve on my writing for this community. happy reading!

"Whoa, whoa, whoa."

Your best friend, Hwang Hyunjin yells at the top of his voice, pitch lower in precision as you open the door and slam it shut forcefully, the sound loud enough to bounce to him clearly. Your feet storm hard against the wooden flooring of your apartment, sound bouncing off from that again and Hyunjin pauses his video game to look at you.

It's a familiar sight. Hyunjin sighs.

"Hey," he tries catching your attention but he fails. You storm into your room, hair flailing behind you in your anger, eyes blurry with the angst you feel that wraps slowly around your heart. You walk into the room and slam the door shut, so loud that a chip of wood breaks from the top of the door and falls down.

"Jesus Christ! Y/N—" Hyunjin yells to no one in particular. However, he drops his controller to the side of the couch and jumps to his feet only after pausing his game. He takes big strides to your room and in high contrast to his rash movements, his knocking on your door is very gentle.

"Can I come in?" He asks, scratching the door absentmindedly. He presses his ear and head against the door to hear a response but all he hears are your soft cries and it makes him sad.

"Y/N—"

"Go away, Hyunjin!"

"Y/N, let me in," he stresses, his leg kicking the air slightly, dangling before that. "I—"

"You're going to make fun of me."

"Will not." Hyunjin knows where this stems from and he won't deny. However, at this minute, he just wants to be there for you. Teasing could wait for an hour or so after you've calmed down. "So please?"

You hum and Hyunjin waits for a sign of protest. When he hears none, he takes it as an approval to open the door and the sight before him hurts him ever so slightly.

You are wrapped in a cocoon of your white blanket and your head is buried in the sheets outside, not ready to look up at your best friend. He frowns as he walks towards you, letting himself to sit by your side. He stretches his arm out and stops when you declare,

"I'm a world class dumpee."

"You are," he shrugs, voice tainted with a slight tease and you look up at him, glaring with your red, puffy eyes. You try shoving him but the cocoon you are wrapped in slightly falls forward too in impact. Hyunjin laughs and stretches both his arms forward to prevent you from falling forwards.

You pout, mumbling with a voice that is strained and is your proof of the urge to cry, "You promised you wouldn't."

"I'm your best friend," he shrugs and pushes your body wrapped in the thick blankets backwards, your head hitting against the pillow. A soft whine leaves your lips, followed by an oomph. "You knew I was going to tease you at the very first opportunity."

And then Hyunjin pounces on you, tickling your sides over the covers and your tickle sensitive being rushes in sensation as you laugh your heart out, chest heavy and mind focussing only on your best friend that you forget about the boy who broke up with you an hour back.

"Stop," you laugh. "Hyunjin," you whine. "Stop, you idiot," you laugh again. "I'm going to kill you—"

Hyunjin's laughter fills the air along with yours. In your perspective through your watery eyes, you see a boy with no worries and all smiles and you want to be like that. You desperately want to be like that. You push your wrapped body upwards to shove Hyunjin to the side and it works. He laughs, slowly receding with yours and he lets out a loud relieved sigh as he looks at your face with less creases and tears that now fall due to laughter.

"Hey," Hyunjin says and you turn your head to face him. His face is rigid, the childish gleam that he had just a while back long gone.

"Yeah?"

He sits up, running a hand through his hair and folding his arms soon after. "The guy was a jerk," he tells, helping you up. His hand finds the end of the blanket and unwraps it slowly from your being. "He was a mighty jerk, okay?"

"He is your teammate, Lee Minho," you stare, dead into his eyes and he shrugs.

"I know," he sighs before shrugging, giving you a nonchalant look. "What was it this time? Let me guess, he broke up with you for no reason again."

You hit the blankets that cover your thigh hard and send imaginary daggers in Hyunjin's way, "Yeah! I just don't understand why he'd break up with me."

"Uh, possibly because—"

"Is it because I'm on like close friend terms with everyone in the college volleyball team? I mean, Lee Minho always said dating—"

"Dating you would be hard, Y/N," Hyunjin continues, mocking your ex-boyfriend's voice. "You hang out with so many guys and all your best friends are dudes that it makes me jealous," Hyunjin pauses, placing his hands flat on the bed from behind as he leans back. "Ah, Lee Minho, that bastard. He always did say that to you."

You look down, fidgeting with your fingers and you roar out in anger. Hyunjin looks at you amused until you say, "Why can't guys be more like girls?"

"Excuse me?"

Hyunjin's eyebrow is raised and he laughs mockingly. He lifts his arms from behind, stretches his back before sitting up straight. He kicks his legs and raises it upwards to sit cross legged, looking straight at you and laughs again. "You are totally kidding me, right?"

"No, I'm not, Hyunjin," your eyebrows furrow. "The reason behind most, if not all, break-ups is the guy."

Hyunjin agrees with you deep down. Okay, maybe not completely but at least a ninety percent and that's a good one. However, he knows how competitive you are and if there's something that can get your head out of this post break up blues, it's this.

A competition. And so just to entice you a little, he sneers, "If anything, girls should be more like guys."

"Bitch, no," you laugh, head falling back at the sheer stupidity that rolls out from your best friend's mouth. "Men are so conceited that they had to make a whole word for treating women equal."

"Not all men simp. Plus, it's an AAVE and that people should not use it. In my defense, I've treated you like a guy my whole life," he shrugs. Lies. Lies. Lies he spews out endlessly because at one point, without him even knowing, things did change and he's seen you as a woman; as a woman he now has feelings for.

Hyunjin, to prove his point, hits you on his back like you've seen him do with all his teammates and your torso bends forward from your hips on impact. "See!" He stretches his arms, tattoos on display in the loose half sleeved black top he wears and you wince, stretching your hand back to rub only for Hyunjin to stop laughing quickly and rub your back, mumbling, "Sorry."

"Hyunjin," you shrug, mumbling, trying to guide your best friend. "Don't ever use the not all men tag, please."

He slaps a hand over his mouth, realising his error, again apologising and you stretch your hand forward quickly to protest, "No, no," you tell, "You don't have to apologise. I just hope you know how it sounds."

"I do," he falls back, lying down against your mattress. "I do and I hate that I accidentally said it."

You follow suit, and fall on the bed, hair splaying around, some falling on Hyunjin's face. He groans, moving the hair away and whining, "It got into my mouth, ew." You laugh.

Hyunjin speaks out, staring at the ceiling, "Whose fault is it that a relationship goes astray?"

"Still going to say the men," you look at the same spot he stares at. "They're—"

"It's a war."

"See!" You exclaim. "This is the issue with men. They cut us off all the time."

Hyunjin laughs, hand stretching out to hold your wrist to soothe you down and mumbling another apology, he continues, "This is a battle, Y/N; a battle that's aged long and has never come to a conclusion. The battle—"

"Get to the point."

"Look who cut me off now."

"Touché."

"Anyhow," he continues. "The battle between men and women."

"You definitely sounded like a prepubescent boy there," you look at Hyunjin. His skin is so clear, you notice, making a mental note to steal his skin care products later. He turns a second later to face you and he nods, "Don't care. Definitely going to win this."

"You wish," you let out a condescending laugh. "I'm going to beat your ass, Hyunjin."

"Kinky," he smiles that stupid, toothy grin of his, "I likey."

"You gross pubescent boy," you shove at his arms only for him to quickly hold your hand, interlocking his fingers with yours in the midst of the squabble. You let him, still laughing lightly, lungs light and mind free from all the sad thoughts.

"I see that I've got an upgrade."

"You did."

You're about to thank Hyunjin for this small gesture that probably seems to be nothing when his phone rings from the other room. The scary unexpected track to Tokyo Ghoul's opening – Unravel – that you can't help but accept that you've grown to like, plays.

He lets go of your hand and jolts upwards, jumping off the bed. A small whine leaves your lips unexpectedly and Hyunjin smiles at that. He pulls up the blankets over your body that he shifted, mumbling, "You should sleep early. You had a tough day."

"No," you whine yet again, "Let's talk more—" His phone rings louder, the scream part of the ringtone jolting you up and your hand falls on your chest in shock. "Hate when your phone does."

"And yet you sing along to it," he sings, humming the tune.

"Pfft," you scoff, holding onto the blanket, scrunching it in your grip. "Go. It's probably about the practise match against Yonsei University."

He hums in agreement, folding the blanket again carefully, right below your neck, his cold hands brushing against your clavicle and the temperature difference runs a shiver down your spine.

Hyunjin switches off the light as he walks out, gently closing the door shut and you watch your best friend throwing a small smile at you before leaving. Did you really deserve all this care? Perhaps not.

Hyunjin, on the other hand, dashes out to get the phone before the caller cuts the call in frustration. He's definitely not spending the money to call back whoever it is. That shit is expensive. He jumps a couple of steps and grabs his phone, accepting the call before looking at the name of the caller.

"Hyunjin…" It's Lee Minho. "Can you come over?"

"I really want to throw a punch at you, you bastard."

And Hyunjin does. Virtually, of course. Over the game they are playing. He couldn't afford to injure a fellow teammate when the preliminaries are right around the corner.

"Bro," Minho sighs. "Can you go easy on me?"

His game character hits Minho's again, the energy bar of the other drastically going down on the screen. Hyunjin can't stop. The frustration that he has pent up over the last hour after seeing you cry and crumble over being dumped by his other friend drives him to the edge and he delivers another punch. Minho's character dramatically collapses as soon as the energy bar is empty and he drops the console by his side, pressing his back against the sofa, arms wrapped against his chest, pouting.

"I—"

"Go on," Hyunjin glares at him. "You better have a good explanation."

Minho runs a hand through his hair and sitting up straight, turning his torso to face Hyunjin, he tells, "I don't."

"You're lucky that we have a match soon, else you'd be six feet underground," Hyunjin sighs, throwing his hands over his head and folding it behind. "I can't believe you did that to Y/N."

"I fell out of love with her," Minho says. He doesn't dare to look at Hyunjin because he fears if the glares would actually result in him six feet underground. "Can't that be the only reason?"

Hyunjin chuckles, moreso at himself than at his friend, mumbling under his breath so low that Minho thinks it's just him humming, "Is it possible to fall out of love with her?"

He wishes Lee Minho could tell him how.

Hyunjin stands up, patting his denim jeans and looking at Minho, he warns, eyebrows furrowing, "I'll help her out with this. Just don't be a jerk and start dating in like two days."

"I—" Hyunjin glares at him. "Fine."

"Practice at seven," he adds and grabs the key of his motorcycle from the table before him. "Don't be late and act normal around Y/N."

"Fine, sir," Minho rolls his eyes. He won't admit it ever but the man warning him could be the reason for his breakup. That and his insecurity and fear of you cheating on him. But it's mostly Hwang Hyunjin. He knows how he feels even if you didn't.

Hyunjin walks out of Minho's house, closing the door on his way out and getting on his motorcycle, he rides back home to you. Just as he had promised you.

He opens the door to your room as soon as he enters his house, removing his shoes and placing it to the side, only to find his ears listening to the soft snores that let free from your lips. Carefully he walks towards you, his thumb and forefinger holding your chin lightly and tilting your head upwards to help you breathe properly.

He pauses for a minute just to watch you. Your eyebrows that you dislike so much just because according to you, it's not thick enough. He loves it however, even though you would never listen to him. Your eyelashes cast a gentle shadow on your high cheekbones and he gasps because you're so beautiful. You're so near to him and yet so far.

He bends forward, pushes your fringes to the side and places a soft kiss against your forehead, mumbling the words he wishes he could tell you straight up. Even if he did, you'd probably laugh and scoff at him.

"Beautiful girl," his lips graze the skin by your forehead, "You are a fighter. You have always been a fighter. You are stronger than you think. You are braver than you believe. Every challenge that life has thrown at you, you've conquered every obstacle that has been placed in front of you. You've overcome every single one of them. You are unstoppable and unbreakable and right now, you are filled with more faith than you have ever been."

Hyunjin pulls away, softly caressing the hair by the side of your face, "So please believe in yourself. You're worth so much love. So much of it, Y/N."

"The jerseys came!"

Bang Chan screams, a huge grin on his face as he opens the door for you. He runs to Felix and holds onto his shoulders before jumping up and down in joy. He is so delighted. "It looks so good, dude."

Hyunjin smiles, running towards you and helping you with the cardboard box. "It's alright," you mumble. "I'm the manager. It's my job."

"Pfft," he scoffs. "And I'm your best friend. It's my job." He picks the huge box that covers your entire upper half, easily and places it down before the coach and the team.

Jisung rushes to your side, nudging you with his elbow, "We've got a pretty good manager." He bends down and rips open the box, taking his jersey in his hand, "Number 13, bitches. Nothing shows what an amazing libero I am like the number most feared." You laugh.

"Number 10 isn't that bad, I guess." You hear Minho's voice break through the cluster of voices and your movements still. You turn your head to look at the brown haired boy who towers over you, wearing a smile so pretty that your heart still skips a beat.

"Hey, Y/N," he smiles. "Thanks for bringing this over."

"Uh," you fidget with your fingers, averting your gaze everywhere else besides at Minho. "I guess. It's my job, yeah."

Hyunjin notices. He always does. The boy runs towards you with his jersey. Number 1 printed in big behind. The setter brings the jersey so close to your face that it's buried in the fresh opened shirt. "Number 1, of course," he laughs, scrunching the shirt in his hand as he raises both his arms above.

"Oh, shut up, Jinnie," you laugh.

"Yeah, shut up, Jinnie," Jisung echoes. The middle blocker, though not the tallest in stature, is excellent at his position and has the biggest love-hate relationship with your best friend. He folds his arms and mocks Hyunjin.

Hyunjin places his right hand down on Jisung's head, ruffling his hair after pressing down on it. He scolds the older boy, "Don't call me Jinnie. Y/N's the only one who gets to call me that."

"Stop gathering around people," The captain claps his hands together to gather all of your attention. You quickly rush to his side and he smiles at you warmly, before looking at his team and glaring at each of them as they gather around him. "Yonsei University was kind enough to arrange a practice match with us thanks to—"

"Y/N," Jisung shouts, pivoting his arms by their sockets before lifting them both high above his head, cheering for you.

"Don't cut me off, Han," the coach shoots daggers at him, frowning visibly at the disobedience. "One more time and you're running around the gymnasium twenty times."

Jisung groans, only after winking at you. You chuckle under your breath, covering your face with the notepad in your hand. Hyunjin rolls his eyes, nudging Jisung to 'keep it in his pants' in the scariest voice ever. You could feel the dark clouds around Hyunjin, the aura darkening for a split minute before he breaks out into a huge smile as he looks at you.

The coach instructs out commands; strategies to help the team win against Yonsei. Moves that he's studied after watching their matches. You know this because you watched Hyunjin do the same at home. He does it at odd timings though.

You would wake up at three in the morning to grab a glass of water and you'd find your best friend squatting in front of the television as he watches every single one of Yonsei's matches. He wouldn't listen to you telling him to go to sleep because, "Being the captain is hard, Y/N. The whole team's banking on me to set the ball perfectly at the right time. I can't..."

And you understand. You understand the worries that go around in his head, the anxiety of being the best because he's no genius. He got to the top, made a name for him all thanks to his hard work and if he needs to keep it — he won't have it any other way — he swears to god that he would practise and study till he drops dead. Hwang Hyunjin loves volleyball that much.

So, you do what any friend would do.

You would make two cups of coffee, one for him and one for yourself. You sit next to him and watch the match with him. Your head lays back against the soft material of the sofa, just watching Hyunjin's eyes fixed on the screen, studying each movement of every player, gasping occasionally at how the setter of Yonsei's team leans his head back to decoy the opposite team only to dump the ball.

You don't remember much from that night because you fall asleep way too quick in the silence and in the presence of a focussed Hyunjin, your cup of coffee half empty. You don't remember anything from that night besides the fact that you woke up in your bed the next morning, or more like, Hyunjin waking you up the next morning because you overslept. Either ways, you were back in your bed and for that, you were grateful.

And as soon as the coach is done with the instructions, the team members scramble before splitting themselves into two groups, first to do serves and then perfect shots and finally, have a practice match.

You sit next to the coach, watching each and every member. That's what the previous manager told you to do. To observe. That's what the manager must do. To observe so well that you know each member well enough to know how their mind works, how their personalities are and who they truly want to be.

This is exactly why you can't seem to ever hate Lee Minho. Because you've seen him on the court, at his very best.

He's the best darn middle blocker you've ever seen. He doesn't tower that much over people with his height but when he jumps, lifting off his feet, he is as good as a wall cemented and strong before the opponent. He has only got better with every practice match and you realise that he wants to be better. And that's how he truly is. The constant urge to do better than the person he was before and perhaps, to Minho, you are someone he wants to leave behind in the past.

There's no one to blame here and you realise that it's a lot better if you accept the truth before it hurts you more than it should.

But then, in a second, Hyunjin takes your attention away whole heartedly. The boy arches his body so beautifully as he sets the ball for Jisung who slams the ball over the net with such force that leaves you gaping, notebook slamming your thigh. The coach stands up, his heels slamming the ground first before his toes do and he is as stunned as you are, eyes wide.

Funnily, Jisung's surprised too.

"We did it!" He says slowly, his words gradually making sense to him and when it does, he rushes to him, holding his shoulders and jumping ecstatically, "Hwang Hyunjin, we fucking did it!"

"When did you guys practice that?" The coach cuts the commotion short with his question. Hyunjin turns to face him along with Jisung, scratching the back of his head. Jisung is so overjoyed that he rushes to the coach, "Today morning! It sounded delusional but we pulled it off, coach."

You look at Hyunjin, who turns his attention back to you as soon as the coach is scrambling off to tell more instructions to Jisung on how he should time it a little bit earlier to hit it with even more impact. You smile, giving him a thumbs up and Hyunjin laughs, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Are you guys finally dating now that Minho's out of the picture?" Chan nudges Hyunjin. The man stumbles a step forward on impact only to quickly look at the older with eyes so wide that he wonders if it were possible.

"What?" He splutters the words out, voice haphazard after the cough.

"Everyone in the team thinks you guys should," Chan shrugs and Hyunjin's face morphs into that of seriousness almost instantly and shoots the other male with, "Did Minho hear of this?"

"Perhaps," Chan catches the ball Felix throws at him. The coach claps his hands to bring the attention back to him, barking out orders to resume the game. Chan pats Hyunjin's shoulders, "You know what we always tell, Hyunjin, in this sport—"

"Take the shot when you see the opportunity."

"Exactly."

"Or someone's going to block again," Chan sniggers and looks at Minho, who was trying his very best to avoid your gaze, "This time round, it could be someone better than our middle blocker."

You're picking up the volleyballs lying around when the guys go to shower and change, dribbling them slightly and smiling to yourself. A figure towers over you as they drop a ball into the huge bucket. You turn around to look up at Minho.

"Can we speak?"

"Do we have more to say?"

"I guess," he shrugs.

"We can still be friends, Minho," you sigh, eyes closed. "I also won't be those annoying types to tell Hyunjin to stay away from you because you broke up with me. You should know better."

"I didn't mean that," Minho looks offended. "I wanted to apologise. I should have tried harder perhaps."

"You should have."

"I know," Minho sucks in his lower lip. "I really should have but you know—"

"Lee Minho," your voice is firm. "I've told you a gazillion times that Hyunjin and I are just friends, Minho. Somehow you made up this sort of weird thing in your head so don't drag me into this mess. This is yours."

Minho scoffs, "You're going to eat your words soon," and picks up another ball. You remember the task you had forgotten in the heat of the moment, rushing to pick up a ball to put it back. The rest of the team is slowly making their way outside.

"I doubt," you sigh, throwing the last ball into the bucket and dusting your hands together. Jisung's darting towards you, hands in the air. Minho moves to the side, gliding against the floor, making way for the shorter man to reach you, bubbling with such enthusiasm you wonder what the cause of it is.

"Felix is treating us!"

Ah, so that's the reason. You smile at Jisung, nodding your approval. You push the bucket to the side of the gymnasium with Minho's help and switch the lights off as the team exits the gymnasium.

"Lee Minho!" You hear a feminine voice through the air, your eyebrows quirking upwards automatically. Hyunjin walks to your side, sighing as he shoves his hands into the pockets of his sports jacket, mumbling so softly that you barely catch it, "I warned that asshole, God damn him."

Minho's face lights up in a way you haven't seen in a while and your heart is heavy. The woman, Irene — you hear Chan shout her name and wave at her — locks her arm with Minho's and walks with him, the man doing nothing to push her away. It shouldn't affect you. Not anymore now that the two of you have broken up and yet it hurts.

Hyunjin quickly pulls you away, preventing your eyes from lingering further even a minute more. His hand holds yours and he drags you to his motorcycle. You look down, biting the insides of your cheeks, alternating between the right and left every time you taste the copper of the blood.

"Your hand is so small," Hyunjin says. "Like look at how it fits into mine," he laughs, lifting your hand upwards as he clasps it tightly. He mumbles, "So small."

You break into a smile, watching Hyunjin tease you, momentarily drifting from the thought that upsets you and it leaves you wondering how Hyunjin does it all the time. He lets go of your hand, ruffling your hair as he bends lightly, "You've got this."

He quickly turns on the heels of his feet, pulling out the keys to his bike and igniting it. You hear Jisung scream from behind, "I thought you were taking me with you!"

Hyunjin screams back, "Carpool with the rest. I'm taking Y/N."

He lifts his leg, straddling the bike as he holds onto the handles, kicking the support free. He turns towards you and tells you to hop on and you do as he says. Your fingers hold his jacket, making sure you're not hugging him from behind. Minho's words run in your head and Hyunjin notices this small gesture of yours but he pays no heed. After all, it's been a while since he realised that what he has with you is better when it's platonic. He is too afraid to lose you.

"Jinnie," you tell him as he starts the motorbike, accelerating behind Jin who leads the way. You hear your best friend scream, "Yeah," through the loud winds that hit you.

You lean forward and speak closer into his ears, your jaw hitting his helmet, "Remember how I said the guys are to be blamed in a relationship."

"Yeah," he hints at you to proceed.

"Here's my first point. Minho back there," you point out. "It was that easy for a guy to move on. That easy," you stress your word. "While I'm here repenting if there was any way to get things back to where it was. However, there's no use in me trying because there's Minho with Irene like our relationship was a thing in the past."

"That doesn't mean he didn't care about you during the relationship. That's how guys are. They give it their everything when they're in the relationship," Hyunjin reasons and you laugh sardonically.

"You're kidding me, right? The girl definitely cares more. It almost seems so easy for the guys to break up and move on. Remember the time when you broke up with Lisa," you speak, raising your tone a little more so that Hyunjin can hear you. The motorcycle moving against the wind causes your hair to touch your mouth and you're spitting hair out facing the side. Hyunjin laughs, his grip on the accelerator tightening as he speeds up just a little bit, causing you to hold onto his jacket pockets a little tighter.

"Bro," Hyunjin mutters when you bring up Lisa. "I cried enough when she broke up with me, okay?"

"You did, for a day or two," you state. "The girl cried her heart out for a whole week. You went partying that Friday with Jisung!"

"Are we now using quantitative measurements to determine how deep our care and love is?" Hyunjin gasps, sounding very offended. "This reminds me why most relationships don't work. Because girls are shallow as fuck."

Hyunjin accelerates, missing sight of the speed breaker in front of him. It hurls you onto his chest, your arms wrapping around his waist to keep you safe. A soft scream leaves your lips as the side of your face buries into his broad back.

"Sorry," Hyunjin apologises quickly. "Didn't see that!" Hyunjin prays that you don't move your arms away but you do and he sighs, face falling. He is glad that you can't see him. Your hand is back to gripping his jacket and head back in this battle of words you're currently having with your best friend.

"It's okay," you tell him. "What's not okay is how you think women are shallow."

"They are!" He takes a turn to the left. Your thigh muscles tighten as it straddles the seat, fingers digging into his side for support. "I mean, let's be real, sweetheart. You take an hour or more to get ready for college."

"Because I want to look presentable!" You hit his broad back and he chuckles.

"Lies! You're shallow!"

"Says the person who walks around shirtless at home and stares at the mirror, lightly touching your abs and saying perfect," you tease and Hyunjin turns to look at you for a minute with his eyes wide before he turns his attention back on the road.

"You saw that?"

"Of course. I see that every day."

"But you're watching the television, how?"

"Reflections," you state.

He's gasping. The motorcycle slows down as it reaches Pizza Alvolo. The pizzeria is adjacent to a pretty park and you can hear the birds chirp lowly right before the sun is ready to set. You jump off the motorcycle, dusting the denims covering your thighs and Hyunjin removes his helmet, hooking it to the handle securely.

The rest of the team are seated in the pizzeria already waiting for the two of you, waving at you as soon as you enter the place. You rush and sit next to Jisung who has been aggravatingly patting the seat next to him. Hyunjin sits opposite to you, next to Chan. He snatches the menu from him and the elder male whines at the behaviour.

You look around and notice that Minho hasn't reached the place yet. Not that it mattered to you. You will slowly learn to stop caring so much for a man and you will soon be able to look at him and think of only the fond memories and nothing more.

Or so you thought.

The minute you see Minho walk into the pizzeria, although not with Irene, you feel the ground slip underneath you. Jisung is nice enough — albeit not knowing of the whole pickle you are in — to hold your wrist and turn your attention towards the stack of pizza boxes that come your way as he gleams, "Pizza! Pizza! Pizza!"

You look away from Minho and toward the direction Jisung points before turning to look at Hyunjin who lets out a loud sigh. You know that he's clutching at his thick thighs, nails digging into it at the sight of your uncomfortability. Hyunjin knows it will take you days to get over this break up, maybe weeks and that as a good best friend, he should wait. He should understand.

But it frustrates him so much. The sight of you being in pain, in hurt because of another man — his other best friend at that — pisses him off way more than he thought it should at first.

Hyunjin quickly takes his phone out and you narrow your eyes at him, mouthing, "Rude. Put it back into your pocket." In a second, your phone dings and you take yours out. Minho sits by Jisung's side in that second, a seat away from you and your heartbeat accelerates. You unlock your phone to see a message from Hyunjin and you lift up your head, raising an eyebrow at him and he eyes at you to open the message.

Jinnie: do you want to leave?

Your eyes widen and your lips part slightly. You don't respond immediately, locking the phone and shoving it back into your pocket. You smile at Hyunjin, trying to signal that you were alright so far. Jisung opens the cardboard boxes of the pizza and squeals. Chan looks at the situation, analysing if it'd be bad for the team on a bigger approach. Hyunjin might be the captain but had it not been for Chan's guidance, the volleyball team would not have lasted a day more with the differences.

Felix announces, "Eat to your heart's merry! I might never treat again." He takes the first bite for courtesy's sake before telling everyone to join in.

The team laughs and Minho smiles, the skin by his eyes wrinkling and your heart stops to remember all the reasons you were so madly in love with this man. It is at this minute you realise it'll take you maybe a little longer than you thought, a little longer than a casual fling and a little lesser than a long term relationship. You should have known this is bound to happen the minute you allowed yourself to let your petty emotions take over.

And maybe, just maybe, it is the fact that you have to pretend to be alright with having Minho around you that makes this heartbreak pain ten times worse.

Surprisingly, Hyunjin already seems to know because he doesn't stop glancing at you after every bite of the slice he has in his hand.

You stretch your arm out to take a slice of the pepperoni pizza on the table at the same time Minho stretches his arms out to take one. Your fingers brush against his and you jolt your hand backwards, mumbling, "Sorry."

Jisung laughs without knowing and teases, "Why would you apologise for brushing your boyfriend's hand?" He takes a bite of his pizza and as soon as he finishes chewing, he continues, "I mean, you guys do nastier stuff and suddenly, you all are prim and proper, Y/N. Love the contrast you exhibit. It's beautiful. You guys could be at it every time I catch you in the gymnasium alone. Also, you're his longest relationship. You should pride yourself—"

Jisung is speaking and you won't look up. Hyunjin has dropped the knife slightly just to try and get him to stop, though in vain and Minho's looking at you. His eyes won't leave your frame and you just want to leave. It is too early for you to be alright with this. Way too early.

"Stop, Jisung," Chan tells him, reading the situation in the room.

"Why?" Jisung's laughing. Felix understands by now, seeing your face hung down and so does the rest of the team besides the man himself. You can't even come to be angry at Jisung because he seems so innocent, unaware of it all.

You spill the beans for your own heart's safety, "Minho broke up with me."

Minho doesn't shift his eyes at anyone else and Hyunjin holds the knife again, a little too tight this time. Jisung's smile turns instantly into a frown and he turns his head to glare at your now ex-boyfriend.

He doesn't bother to filter his words. "Why the fuck did you do that, you arsehole?" Minho turns to look at Jisung for a split second before his eyes are back at yours. You lift your head to lock gaze with him and you feel your chest tighten, eyes water and it hurts.

Everything seems so much more painful.

Chan says once again, his voice firm, ready to not listen to one more word of the conversation, "Stop it, Jisung. Read the room."

You stretch your arm out to have another bite of the pizza and everyone eats in silence. The room is pregnant with the most awkward silence you had been in your whole life. You take your phone out, unlocking it and finally replying to the message.

Jisung puts another slice of pizza onto your plate and you smile at him. Felix tries breaking the uneasy tension by talking about this dude he met in his neighborhood that was kind of cute. After sitting for another two minutes, you push your chair back to Jisung's surprise and stand up. Hyunjin stands up instinctively, his calves pushing his chair back and everyone at the table looks at the two of you.

Jinnie: do you want to leave?

"I just realised I have to do some grocery shopping," you laugh nervously. "There's absolutely nothing back at home. Not that Hyunjin would buy anything and keep, right?"

Hyunjin chuckles and everyone in the room knows quite obviously that you are trying to escape the scene. They are kind enough to let you. Felix asks, spilling the oregano seasonings on top of his pizza slice, "Is Hyunjin going with you?"

"Ye—"

"No," you cut your best friend before he can give his approval. "I'll go alone." You stretch your arm out, palm facing upwards, "Keys, please?"

"Don't hurt my baby," Hyunjin's sincerity is voiced and you laugh genuinely. Little did you know he meant both you and his motorbike. He drops the key to his motorbike onto your hand and you do a little cheer. Jisung mumbles, "Cute," before stuffing his face with pizzas.

"Have a good time, guys," you wish them and grab your bag, hanging on the chair. Jisung waves enthusiastically. Felix, Chan and the rest of the team waves too. You smile fondly at your team and walk towards the door only to find Hyunjin following you.

"What do you think you are doing right now, mister?"

"Can't I walk you out at the very least, woman?" Hyunjin gapes in dismay. He pulls open the glass door and you laugh.

"Sure thing," you say and walk towards his motorbike. Hyunjin leaves the door after stepping out, the glass door swinging back to shut itself. You swing your legs over his bike, straddling the automobile and dropping your chest slightly to balance the heavy vehicle.

"You sure you'll be alright?"

"Don't you trust your teaching? You taught me how to ride this thing. Don't worry."

You look over Hyunjin's shoulder to see Minho still looking at you, worry smeared all over his face and you feel your throat constricting again as you do your best to tear your eyes away from him.

Hyunjin takes a step closer, making sure everything's alright with the vehicle so that it doesn't endanger you. He places his hand over your wrist and you look at him in confusion, "Promise me you'll take care of yourself."

"I will," you laugh. "What are you? My daddy?"

Hyunjin stiffens for a minute before he lets go of all the inappropriate thoughts that fill him for a minute there before teasing you, "Do you want me to be your daddy?"

"Nah," you throw your head back. "You aren't that rich enough." You place the helmet over your head and look at him. Hyunjin taps your helmet and hugs you slightly.

"I'll see you at home."

You start the bike on ignition and look over Hyunjin's shoulder one last time to look at Minho, locking gazes with him before you pull yours away from him towards Hyunjin.

You look ahead, the clear road in front of you and turn the accelerator only after telling Hyunjin, giggling slightly,

"Sure thing, Daddy."

Hyunjin, on the other hand, is too caught up in his worry, eyes lingering behind the trailing presence of yours that finally disappears from his sight into a speck that fades away. In any other circumstances, he would have found your petite figure driving the huge motorcycle and you even calling him daddy, although in a teasing tone, insanely hot.

Right now, however, he just hopes you are safe. He wishes he could be by your side at every second.

Gaho's Stay Here blasts on the bluetooth speaker. Hyunjin pulls open the door only to find you lying on the couch, staring at the ceiling with the most emotionless face he has ever seen you with. His eyes dart towards the empty bottles of soju on the small table in the hall.

"Y/N?"

You sit up, looking at your best friend and your lip pucker out quickly pouting at the sight of him and you stretch your arms out wide, squealing, "Hyunjinnie. You are home."

Hyunjin walks towards you, plopping on the couch and sitting next to you. He quickly lifts his arm up, hand darting back and forth at the air to steer the smell away as he frowns at you, "You reek of liquor, dude."

You quickly hug him, wrapping your arms around his frame from the side and snuggling your face into his shoulder. Hyunjin stiffens under your grip and he looks down at your being with eyes closed and he realises that you might after all just be a small being in need of some loving. He wishes to be the person to do that. Hwang Hyunjin utterly and truly wants to be your person.

Hyunjin takes your phone to stop playing the music — Stay Here that's been currently playing on repeat for the twentieth time straight — and you whine against his skin, tickles running down Hyunjin's spine.

"Don't stop the music," you mumble and Hyunjin looks at you and your figure that hugs him securely, head snuggled by his neck, chin digging into the skin by his collarbone and all Hyunjin can focus on is his heart that is beating furiously against his chest.

"Y/N," Hyunjin's voice seems like an anchor to your woozy mind and you hug him tighter, gripping stronger on to his white shirt. You hum in response and Hyunjin continues, "Gaho's music doesn't seem very fitting for the minute."

You pull apart, your face morphing and changing into that of offense as you glare at him, mumbling, "Gaho is the only one that understands me." You play the music again, the bluetooth speakers blasting with the sad slow tune in the air and you feel the want to cry all over again.

You stretch your arm out to take a soju bottle from the table to down it all out when Hyunjin stretches out to stop you, his fingers wrapping around your wrists. He locks his eyes with yours and in the softest, most caring voice you've ever heard from him, he says, "Don't, Y/N. It hurts me too."

"Can I hold you?"

In a split moment, the room is filled with just the soft beats of Gaho's Start Over playing, your raspy breaths and Hyunjin's lost stare. His grip on your wrist tightens and your mind is far too intoxicated to think if this friendship could be ruined. Your heart is heavy, chest tight and you want someone to free you. Anyone. You are clawing at the imaginary wall all by yourself and anyone could be a help. Anyone that is not Lee Minho.

"Yes," and you fall on Hyunjin at the exact same moment he pulls your hand closer towards him. The timing seems to have lapsed on to each other. Your chest on Hyunjin's, eyes looking up at him as your arms snake slowly over his torso. You snuggle forward, rubbing against his body slightly and Hyunjin sighs.

To Hyunjin, the scene is a lot dramatic just because of the soft music playing and because you are drunk off your head according to him, barely able to make decisions. He just doesn't want to do anything that will make either of your friendships but right now, in this minute with you almost on top of him, locking your eyes in his, your arms around his torso, close enough to feel every part of your being, he wants to be drunk too.

Hyunjin wants to be drunk so that he can make a mistake. Hyunjin wants to be so drunk that he can't think just because he is a coward.

"Do you feel better?" He asks and you snuggle into his chest, burying your face into it as you hold him. Your lonely heart being comforted by just his presence and in the back of your drunk head, you know you feel a little bit more that causes your heart to flutter when Hyunjin cares.

You and Hyunjin are both cowards — two small people in this big world with big emotions unwilling to risk one status for another, over the fear of losing each other.

But Hyunjin wants to risk it tonight. After years of pining, he wants to risk this golden friendship he has shared with you for years now. You are the trigger, however. You lift your face away from his chest and crawl slightly towards him, pushing yourself against him. You look at him, lips pressed together and you stretch your right arm upwards to hold his face in your hand.

"Jinnie," your voice lets out his name in such an airy tone that it seems to disappear away even before it reaches his ear. His eyes are glassy and his heart is in his throat, eager in nothing but anticipation that is risen from all his hoping.

It happens as he has imagined. You lean forward so slowly that he pictures every second vividly and in an instant, your lips are on his. Hyunjin knows it should have felt wrong but God, save him — nothing felt more right than this.

You kiss him and his whole world falls away. It lingers, like a memory that stays behind. Your lips are slow and soft against him, comforting yourself and him in ways that words would never be. Hyunjin's hand slowly lifts up to rest below your ear, his thumb caressing your cheek as your breath mingles only for a split second — one filled with hesitance and uncertainty — before you pull away, looking at your best friend.

It is just a second of a kiss. Something so small and insignificant to seemingly anyone else yet it means the whole world to Hyunjin. It is the whole world to Hyunjin because this is all that is needed to let him astray, hinge released of the stupid restrictions he has made up in his head over you.

Your small kiss is all Hyunjin needs to hold on to because in the next minute, he is pulling you towards him, hands cupping your face tightly and angling it to kiss you, encasing your lower lips in his as he moves against your coral ones. You let out a small gasp and run your fingers down his spine, holding him as close as possible until there is no space left between the two of you and you can feel the beating of his heart against your chest. Loud, clear and unknown to you that it beats for you in this minute.

Hyunjin's lips are slammed against yours, nearly knocking all wind from your lungs and you don't know if it is your feelings or Hyunjin himself. He presses his tongue to the seam of your lips and, the minute you let him in, he delves inside your mouth. Hyunjin kisses you like he thinks it is the last time he will ever be able to have his lips against yours.

Your arms move up his back and tangle around his thick, strong neck. In an instant, you pull away and arch up into his broad chest, moaning in the contact of body heat against your own, before you draw back into his lips. Hyunjin can feel the burn of hard soju in his mouth, thanks to you, and it rolls off your tongue into his, seeping down  his throat and he can't hate it. There is a thrill in its own that Hyunjin knows stems from you.

If it was possible, Hyunjin would slow down time.

You pull back eventually only to hug him, humming against his neck, lips pressed against the soft expanse of his skin. Hyunjin's hand is pressed against your back as he pats you in a steady rhythm, instinctively humming to a tune that could calm you.

"Jinnie?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you," and he feels your weight fall on to his shoulder as you snuggle closer into his neck, your warm breath fanning against him, sending shivers down his spine. "For everything."

Hyunjin holds you for a while, silence and nothing but your breathing that is soft music to his ears, till he hears your soft snores buzzing against his eardrums and he knows you have fallen asleep in his arms, against his chest.

The next morning, you find yourself magically in your bed, comforter on top of you covering every inch of you, head aching thanks to your reckless drinking last night with no memory of whatsoever that happened. Lightheaded you should have known better.

Hyunjin chooses to be a coward, the morning after.

The greens that cover the campus is the only other thing that keeps you sane in this university. The first being, the volleyball team. However, you don't know anymore if it is still, in the present.

You sit on the same bench before a beautiful fountain with a tiger head right in the centre, watching the vast basketball court. A place that holds way more memories to you now than it did a year before.

You shake your legs, feet pointing forward as you listen to music with about half an hour in your hand to waste before you head down towards the gymnasium to meet with the volleyball team. Besides few people that walk down towards their classes, the campus looks pretty stranded as you watch every single person stay happy in their sphere.

"Y/N," you hear your name being called out through yet another one of Gaho's songs and you lift your head up, to look at the person by your side, standing and providing you the shade they probably didn't intend to.

It's the man himself, the one who broke your heart for an explanation that made no sense to you. Lee Minho.

He stands tall, towering over you and your neck aches from looking up at him that you decide to stand up, removing the earbuds and placing it on the wooden bench, next to your phone.

"You're here." You gulp. "Aren't you supposed to be headed to the gym for practice?"

The fountain is everything you associate Minho with — moreover, it is perhaps the relationship with him that you associated the beautiful water fountain with. To see the very same man before you right now is needless to say surprising.

"I could ask you the same thing," Minho chuckles. He takes out a small cone of butterscotch ice cream and extends his arm, offering it to you. You smile softly, thanking him, sitting down back on the bench. "Can I sit here?" He asks and you nod, unwrapping the wrapping paper around the ice cream.

"Yeah," you tap on the seat by your side. You take a bite of your ice cream and Minho visibly flinches, mumbling, "Still the same."

"You broke up with me like two days back. What did you expect? A nirvana attained me?" You scoff. You take another bite of the ice cream, the sensitivity hitting your teeth and you hiss.

"Brutal," Minho chuckles darkly. You scoff, turning your head away and taking another bite of your ice cream. Minho opens his ice cream and you raise an eyebrow at him, mumbling, "You don't eat ice cream though."

"Thought you might want another one," he smiles and the thought of a second ice cream lights you up. "There you go smiling like a dork as always at the thought of it." Minho laughs and you bend forward to take it, your left arm stretching forward. Minho tugs it backwards and your body moves a little more to grab at it until it's too far for you, bringing you to your present position.

Your hand is on Minho's chest, his eyes locked in yours and you are surprised. This is not in your to do list and yet with Minho's grip on your wrist, you drop your ice cream as soon as he edges closer. His face is so close that you can see the perfect plump lips pout slightly, his face glistening in the bright sun and you gasp softly. It has been a while since he has been this close and he still makes your heart go livid within you, beating crazy.

He drops his ice cream in a second, his hands pressing forward to cup your face and pull you into him to kiss the living hell out of you. Your eyes widen, arms falling limp on either side as you stiffen.

"Can I try something?" He hesitates, iron grip on you.

"Try?" You look worried and the next minute, Minho is kissing you, his plump lips on yours for a while before he moves them against yours, taking hold of your lower lip.

It is an instinct. You choose to blame it rather on instincts. Your hand moves to grab the linen draping his arm as you hold it and kiss Minho back. It is as bitter as coffee thanks to all the memories that go along with it and yet — you find yourself drowning. You find yourself wanting more. You find yourself hoping if Minho could stay, if Minho could just pretend to love you, if not.

And it breaks your heart.

All over again.

A lone tear leaves your eyes and then another, till you are crying as you kiss him. A wet messy affair at its finest. Minho pulls back in surprise feeling the wetness against his skin. He cups your face and holds you, looking at you to check for damage — little does he know of the emotional one. Or maybe he does and he chooses to ignore. Typical Lee Minho.

"Did I hurt you?"

Your emotions take over, sanity pushed to the back. You are pulling yourself from Minho as he tries to hold you to calm you down. Your fist plummets down onto his hard chest once and then, for the second time till you are hitting him over and over again till you completely break down in front of him. Minho quickly pulls you into a hug, holding you close till you completely soak his white shirt with your tears.

"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you—" It's a repeated chant. Over and over again till you don't remember how many times you told Minho the same thing. Your mind goes insane with the overdrive of emotions. Did you like Minho still? You don't know. You don't know whether it's the familiarity of his hugs or his kisses or his whole presence that you crave or if it's his love.

"I'm sorry," he whispers and you accept because it's the first time an apology from Lee Minho sounded this sincere. "I'm sorry for breaking your heart." He snuggles into the crook of your neck, swallowed by guilt. Perhaps this is why one should never date their friends; because you lose something much greater.

"I hate you more now for kissing me here," you manage to say, throat rasp from the crying. "How could you stain this memory too? How dare you stain the memory of the location of our first kiss? It was supposed to be a bittersweet memory when I sit here and think." Minho is still hugging you.

"I'm sorry."

It is still bittersweet in a new way, you realise — the fact that Lee Minho kisses you for the last time, you swear to God, in the very same place he kissed you for the first time. The weather changed, the people around changed and the emotions changed. Even after all that, the fountain stays proud and mighty and bears witness to more new relationships and new heartbreaks. Nothing changes besides you. Nothing changes besides what we want.

You pull away from him. Sitting straight, facing the vast basketball court and the juniors playing the game, you make a decision, firm and determined. The soft pink petals fall down from the cherry blossom trees over the two of you and Minho looks at you, and then at the spilled ice cream. To see the boughs that were so bereft in the snow become so beautifully adorned should lift your spirits infinitely and it does slightly. Their scents diffuse in the warming breeze and you hold your head high to savour it.

"Let's stay away from each other for a while."

Minho's eyes shoot up, head lifting up to face you. He does not refute. After all, he knows he has to take a step behind after breaking your heart. What he does not understand is how the two of you could stay away from each other when your friend circles overlap to a large extent.

"How?" He finally asks. "How do I help you with that?"

"By doing just that. Give me space and time to get over you. I'll come back asking for your hand in friendship again," you smile. Your tear stained visage and the difficult smile you put forth is a funny combination but you manage to pull it off well, you'd say. "You don't have to take the first step this time. Let me do this on my own, Minho."

You stand up on your own, grabbing your earphones and your phone. Minho stands up, following suit and asks, "Are you leaving?"

"Yes," you turn only to look at him as you walk backwards. "And you have to head for practice. So get going. I won't have you mess up your performance by all means." You turn back and move ahead. From everything.

"You know I wouldn't," Minho screams back and the last syllable ends with a laugh. You lift your hand to wave and you leave, far, far away from him.

You now have an open wound to stitch back and you know you have to do it on your own.

Hyunjin's phone rings right when he decides to serve the ball. He drops the ball in surprise, the sphere rolling all the way to where his phone is placed. Chan groans, stopping his pace at the sound of the phone ringing, and yells, "Yah! Hyunjin, how many times should I tell you to switch off your phone?"

Felix walks in exactly at that minute, laughing, "Anyone from outside would totally think Chan's the captain!"

Hyunjin runs to his phone, his blond hair strands falling forward, ponytail swinging left and right. Felix laughs at the sight, walking towards the ball and picking it up before throwing it at Chan who catches it swiftly. Hyunjin sees your name on the phone, eyes lighting up instantly and a smile prominent only for Chan to announce, "It's Y/N."

"Of course, it is," Felix scoffs. "Where's the rest of the guys? I thought you said we were to come early—" Felix pauses, eyes widening and gasping, "Hold up! Y/N is late. Whoa!"

"They are probably running towards the gym right now," Hyunjin says before picking up the call. He mouths to the rest, "It'll be short, I promise," and pouts. Chan sighs, only to smile and wave his hand at him to take the call.

"Y/N," Hyunjin cheers up instantly. "Where are—" He hears a choked sob from the other hand and Hyunjin stiffens, face losing the smiling in a second. "Are you alright?"

"I am," you strain it out. You barely manage through with the chokes and that pain that ripples through in waves but you eventually find the words to tell him, "I won't make it to practice today. Yeah?"

"Where are you?"

Hyunjin is angry and he doesn't even know who it is aimed at. He is just beyond mad at the fact that you are crying and someone made you cry. The thought of the skin by your eyes aching and eyes red and burning over anyone made him so angry that he could punch a wall through.

"I'm not telling you," he hears you say and he clenches his fist.

"Stop being a brat, Y/N," he stresses and Chan gestures at him, asking if there was something wrong. Hyunjin nods. "Where are you?"

"Leave me alone, Jinnie," you tell him through the phone, "Please,"  and his eyes widen before he calms himself down, realising that you are trying to cope all alone, a pathetic self-destructive quirk of yours that he had learned to live with after all these years. He gulps and realises you truly needed time alone and he hums in approval.

"Please reach out to me when you need me," he begs. "Please, Y/N."

Felix and Chan are staring at Hyunjin in worry when the door to the gymnasium opens and Jisung rushes into the room. He is panting and he looks around, searching for someone. Hyunjin turns away, his attention back on the call in his hands and he ends the call quickly, making a note in his mind to check up on you after practise. Not that you would let him miss practise. (Not that Hyunjin would do it to himself in the first place. He'd kill for volleyball.)

He walks towards the rest when Minho walks in, black duffel bag on his shoulder. Jisung is quick on his feet as he runs towards the other man, hands on his shoulders and he shakes the living hell out of him.

"He's gone crazy, dude," Felix mumbles and Chan laughs.

Hyunjin stays at a comfortable distance still, looking at his phone in worry every now and then. The man lifts his head and brings his attention back to the present only when he hears your name leave Jisung's mouth.

"Whoa, dude. You got back together with Y/N?"

"What?" Chan is the first to respond. "You did what?"

"I didn't get back together with her," Minho says, his voice is monotone and lacks anything more than nonchalance and it pisses the hell out of Hyunjin who has his fists still clenched tightly.

"I saw you kissing her but. . ." Jisung drops the bomb all at once in such a lost way that he doesn't realise the impact it was to have in this large gymnasium.

Hyunjin is charging forwards all at once, yelling, "You bastard," as he throws a punch at Minho. The blond dyed man is quick to put two and two together and realise that you are after all, crying because of the black haired man before him.

He pushes him back, Minho hitting the floor and Hyunjin's on top of him, punching him with his clenched fist, mind void and painted in hot red anger. Minho has his arms, blocking his punches and chooses to play on the defensive side.

In fear, we are all monsters. Hyunjin believes that he would be afraid of himself had he astral projected and looked at himself in this minute, all unhinged because of one girl — one girl he would set the world on fire for.

All that rage comes out faster than magma for Hyunjin and is just as destructive. More so because he's the captain. It consumes all that he is, so delicate under that carefully ordered world and carefully put up feign that he is alright with Minho breaking the heart of the girl he loves. Minho shrivels before him but Hyunjin does not stop. He relentlessly keeps going, stopping short of physical violence but doing far more damage with the words that he throws.

Chan tries to pull Hyunjin away as Jisung drags Minho from underneath him. The black haired man is left with bruises and a busted lip. On the other hand, Hyunjin is still fuming, along with Chan, sporting a few cuts from Minho who decided to throw a few punches in the last moment.

"Can you all stop?" Felix sighs.

"Why would you bastard make her cry again?" Hyunjin raises his voice. He's yelling at this point, loud enough for everyone passing by the gymnasium to hear. "Why the fuck would you make Y/N cry again? I told you to leave her alone!"

"This wouldn't have happened if things went different—" Hyunjin tries to rush forward to hit him again upon hearing his words, but Chan and Changbin, another teammate, have a strong grip on him. His blond ponytail lashes in anger and he fights against the two, trying to let go of himself. Minho yells back, "I would have never broken up with her if you never liked her, Hyunjin."

"What?" He stops still in his tracks, limbs falling and Chan lets go.

"How am I supposed to think it's alright for you to randomly stare at my girlfriend with heart eyes? For fuck's sake, you guys hug way more than I hug her," Minho glares, chest rising up as he vents everything he has bottled up so far. "If you had always liked her, you should have told me! I shouldn't have overheard it from Chan telling you to ask her out." Chan's face pales visibly. "I would have tried making her stay. I would have made her stay. I would have," Minho's voice lowers. "I still did, but I was too late."

Hyunjin has no words to refute. His eyes widen and his heart is in his throat, barely being able to say, "You could have taken it out on me. Why would you drag her into this? She loved you. She still wavers because of you. Your faithless love was the only hoax she was forced to believe."

Jisung pouts in awe at the words Hyunjin spills and Minho mumbles, "I don't know. I couldn't think straight."

Felix drops the ball with force, suddenly. The ball squelches before raising high and hitting the wall with impact. He folds his arms and speaks up, "Stop acting like kids." He points at Minho. "You, stop putting the blame of your failed relationship on Hyunjin. Him liking Y/N did not ruin your relationship. You killed it yourself."

"But he—"

"I liked her even before you made a move on her. Nothing has changed, Minho," Hyunjin inhales sharply.

"It's because you're a coward, you arsehole."

Hyunjin closes his eyes, looking away, mumbling, "Not going to even bother denying that. I'd be dating her if I wasn't this scared of losing her."

Felix proceeds to point at Hyunjin, glaring sharply at him, "You call yourself a captain? We have a match in a few days and you decide to lose control and beat up your teammate? One of the best middle blockers out there! What in the world are you thinking, Hyunjin? Jesus Christ, when Y/N hears of this, she's going to beat you up so bad for doing this to him in the name of the team."

Hyunjin doesn't dare to look up at Felix, shuffling the balance of his body from one feet to another. He is embarrassed. He should have never let his emotions take control of his body and yet he did.

Chan walks towards Felix before announcing, "We'll start practice in five. I want the two of you to sort this out by the end of this day. If you haven't, I don't want either of you coming to practice tomorrow."

"I'm the setter!" Hyunjin protests.

"Jeongin can do a darn good job too, so shut up and listen to me well."

"Now," Felix claps his hand, smiling once again brightly before running to pick up the ball. "Let's practice like the perfect team we are!"

"And like I couldn't stop myself. It's like something dragged me to move forward and the next thing I knew, I was on top of Minho—"

"Fuck, that'd be hot."

"Y/N, focus. And like I was beating the crap out of him."

You dab an alcoholic swab over the small wounds on his face as he seethes in pain and you sneer, "Deserved it."

"Ouch," Hyunjin fakes offense. "Side with me at least now. You aren't dating him anymore." You stop, your hand midair and you dab constantly over his wounds till Hyunjins screaming, "Ow, ow, ow. I'm sorry," and holds your wrist and pulls it away.

"But you messed up your team dynamics just because of your anger," you frown. "You and Minho better sort it out quickly, Jinnie. Else, I swear to God." You glare at him.

"What will you do?" Hyunjin laughs, scrunching his nose and teasing you. You place the bandaids over the wounds and raise an eyebrow. Hyunjin prompts, "Bite me?"

"I will," you warn and Hyunjin scoffs, "As if."

You bite him. His shoulder, to be exact. Your teeth hold onto his socket for a good one minute tightly till he is yelping, hitting your back to let go of him as he hisses in pain. You let go of him and narrow your eyes at him. Hyunjin is shocked. So shocked that he blankly stares at you with his mouth wide open.

"Are you a dog?"

"I could be one if you taunt me too much."

"Wow," he blinks and you poke the insides of your cheek with your tongue. "Wow, you're truly one of a kind." And Hyunjin breaks down laughing, holding his shoulder with his hand and bending forward overcome by intense laughter.

"Buy me mint choco," he prompts. "Because now you injured me and I want compensation."

"Excuse me?"

Hyunjin pushes himself forward, edging closer to you, looking you in your eyes before saying, "You know you have to," in a low guttural tone that your heart does a whole somersault, triple axle and then lands with an ovation. "You hurt me."

You push him away and you leap onto your feet, your eyes wide and your hand over your chest. Hyunjin looks at you with a raised eyebrow. To change the mood of the situation, you quickly announce, "Fine. You'll get mint chocolate only if you get ready and come out in five minutes. Else you pay for it on your own."

Hyunjin stands up and holding your wrist, he pulls you with him to the door. You look at him in utter confusion and ask, "What are you doing?"

Hyunjin stops in his tracks and turns to look at you, blond strands leaving his ponytail to cover his eyes slightly and pink lips so plump that you wonder how they feel. The realisation that you have started viewing your best friend as someone more than just that hits you and you look down instantly. When did this happen?

"I'll just wear a coat and so should you," Hyunjin laughs. "Ice cream can't wait."

People think of laughing as a noise that comes from the mouth more often than not, but when Hyunjin laughed it was nothing like that. The laugh is in his eyes, in the way his face changes into that vision of relaxed joy and unrestrained mirth. And yet, in all honesty, it is not in his face either. His laugh comes from within, it is just the way he is wired with the instant ability to comfort someone. Just the sound of his gales, his snickers, his giggles, was enough to transport you far away from all your worries and the tension your life has in the minute.

Enough to make you forget that you have to tell him today about the decision you have taken.

Hyunjin and you walk down the stairs and off onto the road in five minutes as planned. The cool air of the night hits you and you hold yourself closer, the long coat held tightly to your body surface. Hyunjin laughs before wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you close by just a little bit and yet enough to share his body warmth.

"Mint choco, here we come!" And he runs with you.

The thing with your stupid heart is that you don't understand why it is beating so rapidly in this moment, your heart beat easily jumping to more than 95bpm and all because Hyunjin holds you. You look at the man by your side, his blond hair moving with the air, exposing his face and you wonder — had Hwang Hyunjin always been this beautiful?

You have known Hyunjin for a long time now. Too long for you to realise that your heart had a change in its plans for emotions recently. You have known Hyunjin way too long to know that you want him for a lifetime by your side, as a best friend at the very least and the thought that if you did act upon your new emotions that you have just discovered in this cold, breezy night, you are screwed.

Hyunjin turns to look back at you after hearing absolutely no sound from you. His face pales when he realises you are looking far ahead and he wonders if you do remember now. If you remember the drunk night.

So he asks to put himself at ease, "Y/N?"

"Huh?" You jolt up to consciousness, looking properly at Hyunjin. "Yeah?"

"Do you remember the night a few days back?"

"Night? Few days back?" You ponder. "When I was drunk?"

"Yeah," Hyunjin mumbles and you raise your body in anticipation, finally wanting to ask about the magical teleportation.

"Now that we are on this topic," you fold your arms and raise your eyebrows at your best friend. Hyunjin shuffles his balance from his left to his right. "Did you carry me to bed that night?"

Hyunjin chokes on air, sputtering out incoherent words before finally forming one proper sentence, "You knew?"

"You're the only other person I live with and I don't have any recollection of going to bed so like I presumed," you look down, heat rising to your cheek and you fidget with your fingers. "That you carried me to bed."

"That's all that you remember?"

You lift your head up, lips pursed and eyebrows furrowed, "Is there more?"

"Uh," Hyunjin turns back to face forward, his broad back in your vision again as he walks forward to the ice cream parlour by the junction.

"Hyunjin?" He walks quicker. "Yah! Hwang Hyunjin!" You follow him with quick, short strides, almost jogging up to him. "What did I do, Jinnie?" He opens the glass door to the ice cream parlour. "Yah, Hwang Hyunjin, tell me no matter how embarrassing it is." You follow him into the white aesthetically pretty place.

You finally catch hold of his coat and tug at it. Hyunjin turns, his cheeks flushed and you wonder what in the world happened that night. Yes, you have vague memories of hugging Hyunjin and passing out, but for him to act like this — wait, you didn't empty your stomach out on him, did you?

"Did I—" Hyunjin's eyes widens. He turns back, his attention on the man behind the counter and he points towards you.

"She's paying."

"Okay," the man nods and turns to look at you, waiting for your order. You sigh, glaring at your best friend before ordering one quantity of mint chocolate ice cream. Your eyes waver to the green ice cream and you frown in displeasure, something Hyunjin catches sight of your expression.

"How dare you?" He folds his arms, dramatically. "The only people that matter in this world are the one that like mint chocolate." The man at the counter smiles at the two of you.

You open your mouth, clicking your tongue, "I'm not paying money to eat toothpaste."

The man behind the counter laughs out loud and Hyunjin glares at him, scoffing. He takes the ice cream from his hand and waits for you to pay. The tall man looks at the two of you, again, before finally telling, "Good luck on your relationship. It's always fun to see couples have an argument over mint chocolate and still be so in love with each other." He turns to look at Hyunjin only, "For your information, I like mint chocolate."

Both Hyunjin and you look at each other, either of you waiting for the other person to disagree with the man but there is just silence. You can feel Hyunjin looking at you through the corners, waiting for you to refute like you always do. You don't and you do not even know why. The heat builds up beneath the apples of your cheek and the thought of being in a relationship with your best friend strangely brings about a wave of calmness within you, doing its best to shove the uncertainty of so many things away.

"Thank you for the ice cream," you say and walk to an empty table. Hyunjin thanks the man too, and follows you, sitting on the seat opposite to you and places the mint chocolate in between.

He watches you, unsure of the situation and you bite your lower lip nervously before shoving the cup closer to him and mumbling, "Eat. We came all the way here for you."

"You should have gotten another ice cream," Hyunjin frowns.

"It's past nine," you laugh, your hair falling over the chair as you lean back. "I can't let fat into my body after nine. You know that."

"Why do I know you?" Hyunjin puts his hand on his forehead looking at you and then he pushes the cup of ice cream towards your side. "Disappointment." You look at your best friend, disgusted and he won't take the disrespect though.

"It's a refreshing taste," he digs in and takes a big bite. "Plus, it's the right balance." He lifts the spoon with a small amount of the mint ice cream and shoves it right in front of your face. "The perfect amount of mint, chocolate and milk to make the world's most perfect ice cream."

You push his hand away and glare, "Why would you ruin two beautiful sweets," you raise an eyebrow, "Chocolate and ice cream by including," you fake a gag, "Mint?"

"Because mint balances the sweetness of the chocolate," he scoffs. "All you mediocre people won't understand. Mint chocolate was created for the elite class."

"Did you just call me mediocre?" your jaw drops and Hyunjin laughs. It's soft, airy and so carefree that you don't mind the fact that he is laughing at you and not with you. You don't mind one bit when you break down and laugh with him, unable to keep your face straight as you lean forward on the table, your head resting on your hands and you watch Hyunjin.

You decide to tell him of your decision in this minute.

"I'm going to make Seungmin manage the team," you tell Hyunjin and he stares at you, the spoon dropping from his hand and clattering against the glass rim of the ice cream cup. You continue, "He's always wanted to manage the volleyball team and I thought I should let him—"

"Why?" He sounds hurt. Disappointed, in fact and your heart plummets down.

"I thought it's time to move on."

"From the team or Minho?"

"Minho," you say, nibbling on your lower teeth. "I want to go back to him—"

"What?" Hyunjin feels his heart sink.

"Don't cut me off, hoe," you click your tongue. "I want to go back to him and be his friend. I'm not ready to ruin a friendship over this. I just won't."

Hyunjin looks down at his cup of ice cream. His spoon digs into the cold dessert over and over again till he realises that he'll do what he has always done for you — be right by your side as your pillar.

"Feed me," Hyunjin prompts and you stare at him with a void expression, mouth still open, wondering if he suggested this only and only to change the topic. Hyunjin stretches his arm out to shut your mouth. "People are going to think I'm starving you here."

"Whoa." You lift your head up. "And if I do that, people are going to think we're possibly the cutest couple out there still in our glorious honeymoon phase of it."

"Okay," Hyunjin shrugs and leans back against the chair, folding his arms against each other.

"Okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine with that."

You sit up straight and look down before finally saying, "Don't say that."

"Say what?"

"Those words that make my heart flutter. I don't know what to feel, Hyunjin." Hyunjin is too stunned to react and whine over the fact that you called him properly by his name in your conversation. The fact that he too can cause your heart to race a little bit just like you have with his all these years. "Don't say them to me if you won't ever be ready to take responsibility over them."

You place your thumb and forefinger on your forehead, squeezing the skin slightly to calm the slight ache you can feel, the vein throbbing slightly and you know it is your anxiety that kicks in because you almost spilled everything out. You quickly stand up and holding your coat tightly, you look at Hyunjin who is still seated and looking at you intently.

"I need to go to the pharmacy next door. I'll wait for you there. Finish your ice cream and come."

You don't turn to look at Hyunjin as you walk out, slightly embarrassed by your own behaviour. Between you and Hyunjin, you are the one who had to keep your cool, making sure you didn't slip up or make a mess so that you could at least have time to clean his spilt milk.

You push the door of the ice cream parlour and walk out, the doorbell ringing at your push and you hold yourself in the cold breeze. If Hyunjin did not respond to it, it is only safe to presume that he feels nothing more towards you. You could at least put two and two together. Or so you thought till Hyunjin is chasing after you, big strides and dark blond hair in the wind as his rubber band comes loose and slides off a bit.

"Y/N!" He shouts and quickly holds your wrist, pulling you so quickly that you stumble forward into him. Hyunjin grips your arms to steady you and he looks at you, his brown eyes trying to peep into your soul. He smiles, hand running through his hair only to bring more strands forward, covering his vision.

Falling in love with Hwang Hyunjin, you realise, is the easy part. He makes it so easy to fall for him — when he smiles at the sun, covering his eyes or when he is covered by the dogs in dog parks all eager to hug him because that's how he just is. You don't even realise when you fall for Hyunjin but when you do, you know you are already sinking and you are far too gone for saving.

It is, however, admitting to yourself that you fell for your best friend that is hard. The Hwang Hyunjin that you have seen since the five year old boy moved next door to you. The Hwang Hyunjin that would cross dress in your clothes. The Hwang Hyunjin that would steal your dumplings. It is the same Hwang Hyunjin that you fall for. You had all these doors with specifications that opened to only men like Lee Minho and yet like the rude asshole that you oh so adorably love he seemed to tear them down. Or perhaps those doors were meant for others and Hyunjin always had a door of his own for your heart.

You should have asked yourself why but would it have really mattered? You're here with Hyunjin by your side, whether he knows your feelings or not and you couldn't be any less glad, even if you are sometimes hiding, imagining a distance instead of seeing Hyunjin right there.

"I'll come back, Jinnie," you tell him, looking up at him and coughing slightly, trying to move back slightly to put some space between the two of you. "I'm not running away. I just need to buy some strips of paraceta—"

"I want to be responsible for them," His gaze doesn't leave yours. "I want to be responsible for you, your emotions and everything you are, if you let me."

You wouldn't dare to shift your eyes away, or focus on anything else. Just Hyunjin. Just your Hyunjin. Your heart beats so fast against your chest that you wonder if it ever had this much for any man or woman. And when Hyunjin pulls you into him, his arms wrapping around your frame, hand flat against your head that buries your face into his chest, you learn that Hwang Hyunjin's heartbeat is always your metronome — the beat your entire life seemed to have moved smoothly to.

You giggle against his chest, breaking into a smile, "Are you asking me out, Jinnie?"

"I guess," he chuckles into your hair, snuggling himself into you. He pulls you back to explain. "My original plan was to ask you out after the practice match that I'll make sure we win, but you could possibly not be there as our manager and what if I miss the chance?"

"You lovesick boy," you laugh, smiling stupidly at him. Hyunjin cups your face and presses his forehead against yours.

"I've liked you for so long, Y/N," and you blush, lips pursed and you smile back, heart fluttering.

"Thank you," you press a kiss against his cheek.

"For what?"

"For being you and for always loving me."

Hwang Hyunjin holds your face and kisses like he is capable of getting rid of all your worries, slowly bleeding into your marrows and cells and soaking you of the very essence he is. He holds you like you are a precious being — and to him, you are because he finally has you after all these years; he finally gets to call you his.

His lips are warm and tasted of mint; obviously from the mint chocolate ice cream earlier. His hands are wrapped around your waist and yours are locked around his neck pulling him down slightly. His strands of blond locks brush against your face, ticking you slightly and you giggle into the kiss. He laughs against your lips before kissing you slowly, drawing the kiss for as long as he could. When you break apart for air, you lean forward and rest your forehead against his, gathering some much needed oxygen. His smile tells you everything you need confirmation over and you smile back, sinking into his hold.

Hyunjin hugs with gentle arms that still gives the space to breathe; yet it is the hug of a strong pair of arms that tells everything that you are - every fibre of your being - that he is with you, and you wonder how he is capable of that. How he is capable of holding like you are his whole world — like he rather hold you than anything else.

Hyunjin does exactly that. He holds you tight and close to him in this cold night, ignorant of everything else around the two of you, like you and him only mattered in the place, like you and him are fireworks in this velvet dark, the blaze that dares to light up the night.

[misskatebishop]

kate x yelena, fluff, yelena steps in when an uncomfortable kate is being hit on at a frat party

pretty please :)

Word count: 684

Pairing: Kate Bishop x Yelena Belova

Warnings: Fluff. Awkward flirting.

Summary: Kate didn't expect Yelena's apology.

A/N: I just have a lot going on rn. Sorry for taking so long. I'd love to write a proper sequel in the future.

By the way, I didn't forget Yelena is ace, I'm well aware. You guys stop being aphobic in your own community and remember that ace people (and aro people) sometimes still want to be in a (queer-platonic)relationship.

Yelena was known for being subtle. She’s petite and fast, which means that she doesn’t call much attention to herself, so Yelena could easily blend into crowds. She was really useful in spying when she was still controlled by the Red Room, but now, Yelena uses her skills to sneak into fancy parties, like the one promoted by Bishop Security at the end of another year.

In her defense, she was here to see a pretty girl whose circumstances where they met were not the best. It wasn’t hard to find Kate Bishop when her last name is stamped on a building in the middle of New York City. Yelena just needed to google it to find that the place belonged to Kate’s mother.

Yelena looks around, admiring the Christmas decoration but at the same time attentive to the people talking and walking around her. It takes her a while, but she finally spots Kate being cornered by a guy next to the bar. He gestures too much and is leaning too close to her and by Kate’s face, she can imagine the subject of the conversation - or better say monologue.

The widow needed to talk to her anyway, so she supposed that she could intervene in the situation, a nice way to start apologizing after having pushed her from the building. Yelena strides quickly through the hall. Kate doesn’t seem to notice her approaching and the guy was just too focused on flattering her to notice the short blonde. The man raises his hand to tuck a lock of hair behind Kate’s ear, and Yelena steps in, wrapping an arm around Kate’s waist which makes the young one startled at the unexpected touch.

“Hey, there you are,” Yelena smiles. Kate seems to raise a brow. “I’ve been looking for you all night.” Then, Yelena does the most unexpected thing, she tiptoes and kisses Kate on the lips.

The man backs off, looking uncomfortable with the whole situation before Yelena pulls apart. That’s just when she pretends to see the man.

“Who’s it?” Yelena frowns, looking back at Kate.

“Uh, I–I don’t–k-know,” Kate stutters, still in shock because of the kiss.

Yelena huffs, wrapping Kate’s arm around hers, and pulls away.

“No one important then,” Yelena assumes, walking away as if she knew every place in Bishop Security, which she probably should right now.

Thankfully, Kate goes with her without putting up a fight. Yelena takes her outside, to an open area where they are less likely to be heard by someone else.

“What was that?” Kate says, loosing the tie around her neck.

Yelena puts a hand on her own waist, lifting a brow.

“Oh, you’re welcome,” Yelena shrugs.

“I was handling that,” Kate argues.

“Sure you were.”

“What are you doing here, by the way? How did you even find me? Didn’t you try to kill the last time we met?” Kate spits question after question.

“Your name is on the building,” Yelena points to where a poster was hanging with the name of the enterprise. “First, I wasn’t trying to kill you, specifically. You were just in the way. Second, I already talked to Hawkeye. Third, I came here to apologize and to thank you for not shooting that stupid arrow,” Yelena’s accent sounding stronger than ever.

“Oh,” Kate lets out. “Okay. Uh, apologies accepted. I–” Kate’s gaze drops to the blonde’s lips.

“What?”

“I–uh–”

Kate doesn’t know what possesses her, she only knows that in a minute she’s looking at the cutie blonde in front of her while Clint’s words run through her mind. The best shot was the one I didn’t take. Yep, it seems right. Then, in the next minute, she’s leaning, cupping Yelena’s cheeks, thankful that she doesn’t back off as Kate brings their lips together once more, warming those cold lips.

Yelena wraps her arms around Kate’s neck as she pulls apart.

“This party looks boring as fuck,” Yelena states. “Do you wanna go eat somewhere else so we can talk properly?” Yelena blinks.

“Sure thing!” Kate agrees excitedly.

That’s just the beginning of something else.

[thesunicarusfellfor]

Hey!! I love your writing. Can you do a Yandere! Ranboo, Tommy , and tubbo. where they are all in love with the reader and they kidnapped her to ‘keep her safe’ and the reader doesn’t know at first, then she slow realized they are obsessed with her. she like them back but she also want to live her life, so she tries to make agreement? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.

The Ranboo gif is just beautiful and I love it. Lemme see what I can do for ya! I wrote a bullet point Platonic fic if that's fine? I'm still worried about writing the minors in romantic relationships, even if it's the characters.

Sorry, it took so long... My burnout got really bad and I refused to even write basic stuff. But I'm back now! Well. Mostly.

Safe Behind Glass (Yandere!Plat!C!Bench Trio x GN!Reader)

You were a little groggier than normal when you awoke, but it was nothing to alarm you immediately.

Just simply brushing it off as you weren't feeling the best that day, you rolled over to fall back to sleep, but quickly noticed something wrong.

It didn't feel... Right?

The blankets... The mattress... The pillow... They weren't yours...

You peeled your eyes open and your expression went blank with fear.

The room was beautiful mind you.

But it wasn't yours either.

You were laying on a fluffy (f/c) canopy bed, surrounded by quartz walls that were dimly lit soul lanterns that prevented you from being completely swallowed by darkness.

Slowly dragging yourself off the bed, you heard a metal 'clunk' that hit the cold quartz flooring below you.

Turning your head to face downwards, you saw that a decently thick metal chain was cuffed to your ankle.

Somehow, your panic became worse as you immediately grabbed onto it and started to yank on the solid metal, but it refused to budge.

You had no idea how many minutes or hours you spent in that room. Reaching at the iron door desperately, yanking at the chain around your ankle that kept you from reaching the exit, searching the blue lanterns for anything...

But then, the white metallic door slowly swung open, revealing Ranboo, Tubbo and Tommy.

You weren't that close to them, save for a couple interactions here and there, but hey, they came to save you! That didn't matter in the slightest!

You almost cried upon seeing them and moved to walk over, but the chain stopped you from reaching them, and you noticed that they weren't moving to help you.

"You're awake!" Tubbo chirped softly, his tan goat ears wiggling with joy, "I'm glad the potion didn't stick for too long... You could've wound up starving if you stayed asleep."

Horror slowly began to set into your heart as Ranboo nodded and walked over to the dark oak table in the corner of the room and set down a basket of food.

"Ran...Boo...?" You whispered, watching as the monochrome male turned and curiously tilted his head in your direction, "Why... Am I here?"

Instead, Tommy stepped in front of you with a bright cheesy smile, the same one that resembled when he would find a new disc or start a new adventure, "For your safety, (N/n)!"

"Safety?" You choked out softly, Ranboo quickly guiding you to sit in the oak chair, "But... I'm one of the richest people on the server... I have god armour... Nothing could kill m-"

"Techno and Dream can." Tubbo interrupted sharply, halting you mid-sentence.

Right... That masked man... Or whatever he was... He was extremely dangerous, as well as Techno. They could likely pierce your netherite chest plate without even flinching at the number of thorns you had enchanted.

"We don't want anyone to bring you any harm... There's no problem with that, right, (Y/n)?" Ranboo smiled, flashing his sharpened teeth unthreateningly.

No... You wanted to say, but you wanted freedom! You wanted to expand your house to the size of a mansion! You wanted to bicker with Quackity about the stupidest of things! You wanted to get building advice from Phil!

Not be locked away because your safety was a tiny bit compromised!

"Tommy... Tubbo... Ranboo... Please, I'm not going to just stay locked away because I-"

"You'll see things our way soon... Eat up, get your rest." Tubbo smiled and gave you a hug, ignoring how you froze suddenly, before turning and skipping out of the room with the taller two following behind him.

Despite... How screwed up the three were with their methods of making you be their friend, it was working...

They were actually incredibly friendly and funny. It made life in capture bearable! Even though you were incredibly snappy and cruel to them in the beginning, they never held it against you.

Although... Despite their kindness and your quickly blooming friendship, you still had a craving to go outside. Even if what the three told you about everyone forgetting you existed was true.

"You look sad, (N/n)..." Tubbo murmured softly, watching you stare off into the blank quartz wall, "Are you okay?"

Tommy straightened up from his handmade scribble of a map, turning his head towards you in confusion. Ranboo stopped writing mid-word likely and looked in your direction as well.

They never liked it when you were upset.

You pursed your lips silently for a moment, clearly unsettling the males around you, "I just... Haven't been feeling too great... Both mentally and physically I mean... I need sunlight..."

"Yeah... I was reading about that earlier..." Ranboo hummed softly, adjusting his crown as he looked up at the ceiling, "But the issue is..."

"My safety... Yes, I know. What if, I wear my full netherite armour and keep a totem AND a Rapple on me? And also not leave your sides?" You bargained nervously.

That hadn't worked before. But then again, You weren't as close to them before...

The silence that fell upon the room was unsettling and caused your heart to race quickly. If they didn't like what you said, you would be alone for a few straight days... You didn't like it...

"Okay."

What.

That worked?

You just had to ask?!

You watched as Tubbo stood up and pulled the small ender chest from his pocket and set it on the ground, causing it to grow to normal size.

Standing aside, he made a gesture for you to open it and get your stuff.

Hesitantly, You walked over and kneeled down in front of the ender chest. Looking to Tubbo and the others for confirmation, you slowly opened it once they nodded.

Carefully, you began pulling out your armour but paused seeing the lack of golden apples and totems.

Right... Before you had gotten kidnapped by the group, you had used a totem when you fell into the L'Manhole where L'Manberg once was.

That what caused them to kidnap you...

"I-I used... My totem... And Fundy stole my Rapple..." You murmured hesitantly, feeling ready to cry.

Your only chance to escape and you couldn't grab it...

"Hey! Hey! Don't cry! Here!" Ranboo eagerly held the two golden items out towards you at the first sight of tears gathering under your eyes.

"What...?"

"(Y/n)! We want you to be happy! If being outside, even with god armour, rapples and totems, makes you happy, then damn well we're bringing you outside!" Tommy grinned.

After a few tears and lots of hugs, Tubbo helped you hop into your armour while Ranboo unlocked the chain cuff from around your ankle. Tommy had left, leaving the door open for once, going to scout the area for any dangerous mobs.

"Ready?" Ranboo smiled, linking one of his arms with yours, the one that you held the totem in to be more specific. Tubbo happily linked his arm with the other one.

You could only nod, your voice caught in your throat as they began to walk you out the door, Ranboo had to duck down a lot, before leading you to the quartz stairway.

Once up the stairs, Tubbo pressed in a code to the iron door and it slid open quickly, causing you to flinch and pinch your eyes shut at the bright painful light of the sun.

It took about twenty minutes of trying to adjust to the sunlight with the two males encouraging you before you were able to look around.

It was everything you had missed...

The sunlight...

The trees...

God, it was perfect...

Tommy eventually came out of the tree line and sat down beside you as you took it all in...

Months, you were down there. And sure, they gave you plenty of decorations to prevent you from experiencing sensory deprivation, nothing could ever compare to the beauty of the outside world.

A voice cut through the air -calling for someone or something named Fran?- and you almost didn't recognize it. But then the owner came out of the trees, almost a similar direction that Tommy came from earlier.

Sam? He looked so... Different now...

The creeper hybrid slowly lowered his gas mask to show his mouth dropped in shock, "(Y/n)...? You're alive...?"

Tommy, Tubbo and Ranboo were freaking out, trying to bring you back into the bunker, as they called it, but you weren't budging. You hadn't seen another being in ages... And while you did platonically love the three boys, you enjoyed hearing a new voice.

"You... Remember me? But... Tubbo you said-" You frowned at the goat hybrid as they stopped suddenly, realizing that you weren't moving.

"You three... Kept them locked away... For almost an entire year?" Sam's voice was getting a little bit scary now, but it wasn't directed at you, instead, at your best friends...

"Sam! It was to protect them! Please!" Ranboo tried, but he wasn't making it better.

"You made Quackity believe they ran away... Made Philza wake up every morning and walk through the SMP for any signs of them... Gave Puffy false information on where you have last seen them... lied to everyone... Only to be the reason that they were gone." Sam growled out, gripping his trident, "Then you proceeded to make them think we all forgot about them..."

"S-Sam... You've got this all wrong big man..." Tubbo tried next...

The warden wasn't listening as he pointed his trident at them, his communicator in his other hand next to his mouth, then he started speaking, causing his voice to come out of Ranboo's, Tubbo's and Tommy's pockets. He was speaking on the public channel.

"Tommy Innit, Tubbo Underscore, Ranboo Beloved... You are being placed in the prison, Pandora's Vault, for keeping (Y/n) (L/n) imprisoned in a bunker and lying about their whereabouts."

It felt like someone splashed you with cold water...

[whoopsieintheuniverse]

Hellooo! This is my first time asking for a request here! And I've only recently found this acc and I've enjoyed reading your fics ever since. As for the request, can I ask an angst scenario about vegeta x reader where vegeta treats the reader like trash because he doesn't know how to express his affections properly and they're both lovers (bulma's with yamcha btw if thats okay). Until one day, the reader just couldn't handle his actions and is tired of being treated like shit so she snaps at him and ignores him all day. Its up to you how it ends but it'll be great to have it fluffy.

So this turned out really long! I hope this is what you were looking for! My inbox is open for requests everyone :-)

Y/N sat, grinning, as Bulma, Yamcha, and Krillin tittered about Bulma’s most recent science venture.

“Look, all I’m saying is that I need a new test subject! You’ve been through worse, right? It’s also a paid position,” Bulma said.

“No way!” Krillin said. “Why don’t you use Yamcha? Your boyfriend, your guinea pig!”

“Krillin, it’s a hair growth serum,” Yamcha said. “You’re kinda the only one who fits the bill, pal.”

“Oh haha. You know I can grow hair, I just shave it all off.”

Y/N laughed along with Bulma as Yamcha and Krillin started to squabble. Bulma nudged Y/N’s hand, and she looked over at the bluenette.

“You know, you’ve been over here a lot, lately,” Bulma said.

“It’s nothing,” Y/N assured. “Just want to spend some time with some old friends.”

“You sure? You know, last time you were always visiting because of-”

Y/N raised her hand and shook her head.

“Yeah, I know. He’s still an ass, and I’m not gonna lie, it is nice to get away from him somet-”

A sudden impact shook the ground and the group. Krillin and Yamcha were the first to stand, with Y/N gripping the table and Bulma falling to the ground. Y/N scoffed, looking out into the flying dust. She spotted the hazy outline of a blue aura, and Y/N groaned as she helped Bulma up.

“Speak of the devil,” Y/N muttered.

“Earth woman!”

Y/N sighed as Vegeta’s figure quickly crossed the field. She crossed her arms and glared at him.

“Well, well. Done knocking yourself around for the day? Come to say hello, Vegeta?”

Vegeta scowled.

“Shut up! And who do you think you are, wandering off and not telling me?”

“Knock it off man, she’s just hanging with us,” Yamcha said. “Nothing’s gonna happen to her while we’re around.”

Vegeta ignored Yamcha and marched to Y/N.

“You should know better than to leave the house without telling me first, Y/N. I can’t train and make sure you don’t get yourself killed,” Vegeta barked. Y/N rolled her eyes and sat down. She grabbed her drink and looked Vegeta in the eye as she took a sip.

“Look. I’m fine. You don’t have to start an argument every time you see me, you know. How about you sit down with us? That way you know where I am and you can relax,” Y/N said. Vegeta scoffed before turning his back.

“As if I’d waste my time here. You want to stay with your pathetic little friends, fine. Go ahead. See if I give a damn,” Vegeta called over his shoulder. Y/N watched as Vegeta marched to the mound of dust and dirt he landed on, and she rolled her eyes again as he took off.

“He seems to be in a good mood,” Bulma said, dusting herself off. Y/N nodded before sighing and leaning back in her seat.

“He’s been a real ass lately. I don’t know what’s gotten into him,” Y/N said. Bulma patted Y/N on the back. Yamcha shook his head, and Yamcha scoffed.

“He’s not exactly Mr. Congeniality, Y/N,” Yamcha said. Bulma pulled Yamcha by the ear.

“And you’re the boyfriend of the year, huh?” Bulma asked. Krillin and Y/N laughed. Y/N then cleared her throat and rose to her feet.

“Well, it’s been fun, but I should probably get going. Vegeta doesn’t need any more reason to start yelling,” Y/N said.

Krillin stood to hug Y/N.

“Don’t let him push you around,” he whispered in her ear.

Y/N nodded and waved at Bulma and Yamcha before excusing herself to fly off to her house.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

The sun started to set by the time Vegeta arrived home. He walked in, expecting dinner. What he found instead was Y/N washing dishes and setting them out to dry.

“Woman.”

“I have a name,” Y/N said.

Vegeta ground his teeth and continued.

“I take it you haven’t cooked today.”

Y/N didn’t look up; she moved to the cabinet and grabbed a glass to pour herself a drink.

“I did cook. And then I cleaned the pots for you. Here you go,” Y/N said. She gestured to the pots and utensils on the counter, then passed Vegeta to go sit in the living room. Vegeta followed her, stomping as he went.

“And do you really think I’m going to do my own cooking?” Vegeta said.

Y/N raised an eyebrow at him.

“You will if you want to eat. You know, maybe if you weren’t such an ass today, I would have made enough for you to eat, too.”

Vegeta crossed his arms and glared at Y/N.

“I’m an ass? How about you, gallivanting around without a care in the world?” Vegeta said.

“I was just with my friends, Vegeta,” Y/N said, rolling her eyes. “You know, I don’t want to argue with you. I’m going to bed,” Y/N said. Vegeta followed her to their bedroom, and he leaned against the door frame and watched as she tucked herself into bed.

“So that's it then? You're just going to ignore me for the rest of the night? Vegeta asked. Y/N said nothing, running her hands over her face.

“What happened, Vegeta? Why are you acting like this? You know, first I thought the whole “loose cannon, lone wolf” thing was kinda cute, but now, you’re just plain mean. What is it? Do you not like me anymore? Am I just another “worthless human” to you now?”

“Shut up! You don’t know what you’re talking about!” Vegeta thundered. Y/N nodded, eyes drooping wearily.

“Yeah,” she said. “I guess I don’t know what I’m talking about. You know, I thought people were wrong about you. You were sweet for a while, at least to me. Guess that’s all down the drain, huh?”

Vegeta opened his mouth, then closed it. He grabbed Y/N’s doorknob and turned on his heel, slamming it shut behind him. Y/N sat in the silence for a while, before sighing and laying down.

The sun shone in Y/N’s eyes, rousing her from her sleep. She yawned and stretched, and then listened. The house was eerily quiet.

“Weird. Vegeta doesn’t go off and train this early,” Y/N said to herself. She walked into her living room, and found Vegeta sitting there, flicking through channels.

“Good morning,” Vegeta said.

Y/N stayed quiet. Vegeta continued flicking through channels, only stopping when Y/N came to sit next to him. His eyes slid to the side, examining her, before going back to the television.

“I’m not training this morning. I think I need to take the day off,” Vegeta said.

Silence fell over the room, with Y/N kicking her feet against the couch.

Vegeta shook his head.

“Look, about last ni-” Vegeta began. When Y/N said nothing, Vegeta scowled to himself and huffed.

“Forget it,” Vegeta said. He started flicking through channels again, and Y/N crossed her arms. Finally, she spoke.

“Vegeta. Please?”

Vegeta exhaled sharply through his nose, set the remote on the couch next to him, and turned to Y/N.

“Well? Done ignoring me now?” he asked.

“I want to talk to you. I’m tired of yelling at each other. I just…don’t know what to say. What’s going on with you?” Y/N asked.

“There’s not a damn thing wrong with me. You’re the one creating all the problems. All I want is to keep you safe, and you call me silly. I want to know where you are, is that so bad?” Vegeta questioned.

Y/N fell silent, squinting her eyes. She placed a finger over her lips and sat before she spoke.

“Vegeta, you want to keep me safe. I can get that. But you don’t have to be…you don’t have to…” She sighed, rubbing her eyes before continuing. “Vegeta, I understand that you want to keep me safe, but I do have friends. I’m safe with them.”

“And what if you aren’t? If you’re out and I don’t know or I can’t reach you in time, and something happens to you, what am I supposed to do? Have you even thought of that?” Vegeta said, crossing his arms.

Y/N tilted her head and leaned on Vegeta’s shoulder.

“Vegeta. All I’m asking is that you loosen up a little. You can come with me. I’ll try to communicate with you more, but I also can’t be cooped up here forever,” Y/N said.

Vegeta grumbled but said nothing. A light pink dusted his cheeks, and Y/N smiled and leaned in to kiss them.

“I love you, you know,” Y/N said. A dark rose took over Vegeta’s face and neck, and he sighed as he faced Y/N.

“Yeah. I know.”

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[baekhansol]

N.D.A | f.l

ℕ𝕠𝕟 𝔻𝕚𝕤𝕔𝕝𝕠𝕤𝕦𝕣𝕖 𝔸𝕘𝕣𝕖𝕖𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥 (ℕ.𝔻.𝔸.) noun

a contract by which one or more parties agree not to disclose confidential information that they have shared with each other as a necessary part of doing business together.

Happy Birthday, Felix Lee!

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 : fluff!

𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 : mature

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : best friend Felix x gn + nonverbal reader

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 3.7k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : reader is nonverbal, JYP is an asshole, wanting to lie about having been eating well, food/eating, mentions of wearing masks, I think that's it ?

𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐭 : Felix has always been your best friend, and takes care of you when you can't

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 : this was beta read by the lovely Dee Dee over at @sugasbabiie . Her notes and edits were wonderful as always 💜

this is also a friendly reminder that my blog contains nsfw elements, so do not follow me if you are a minor.

At one simple glance into your eyes, once allowing yourself a moment of vulnerability with your best friend, Felix knew what a terrible day you must have had. He immediately pulls you into a warm hug, pausing in case he meets resistance before squeezing you and holding you tightly.

"Have you eaten well?" He softly asks you, playing with your hair as he sways you back and forth.

You wanted to lie and say yes. You really did. But you couldn't get yourself to respond that way, so instead, you shake your head no.

"I'll make something then," he says simply, pulling back to look you in the eyes.

Felix finds tears welling up in your eyes, so he cups your cheek with one hand. "Have you taken your meds?" He checks.

When you nod, his expression gives away a brief flash of relief before turning back to genuine concern.

"Good. Why don't you go put your pajamas on and start getting ready for bed then, hmm?" He suggests, smiling sweetly.

You hesitate, considering saying no. You rack your brain, but the fog from your mental state makes the task difficult. You were fairly certain you'd never been braless around Felix before, but at the same time, you really didn't want to wear one.

"It's okay, y/n," he softly assures you.

Looking into his eyes, you remind yourself he has sisters. So you nod as a soft whimper accidentally escapes you.

You retreat to the bathroom, scrubbing your face harshly as you wash it. You try to get rid of the self-hatred and body insecurities that consumed your entire body, but particularly your face. Of course, it didn't help.

A whine of irritation escapes you before you apply the rest of your skincare. Afterwards, you slowly shuffle to your bedroom. You stare at what pajamas you have clean (which isn't much) and end up in a long sleeved shirt to hide your arms and pajama shorts. You made sure the pair wasn't too free flowing, as you didn't want to flash Felix by some weird accident since you didn't wear underwear to bed.

You slowly shuffle out to the kitchen, finding Felix at the stove throwing something together. Padding closer, you notice him making ramen. You ask him what he is doing with a soft “Hm?”

He gestures for you to come closer before speaking, “You had some ramen, so I’m making it with eggs. And now I’m adding in vegetables, see?”

When you nod, he smiles. “Do you want to grab a bowl for yourself? I already ate,” Felix assures you.

You nod and timidly get yourself a bowl and chopsticks, your hands unsteady. You manage to set down the bowl without dropping it, and Felix notices your lack of stability.

He moves from the stove, getting a plastic cup with a lid and straw, pouring you a cup of water before getting himself a glass. Felix sets it at the table before returning to the stove, getting your ramen together in your bowl. “Will you sit down, Y/N?” he asks gently.

You nod and sit, sipping your water and swinging your legs. Felix soon places the bowl in front of you, and you begin to eat slowly. He sits next to you after getting a napkin, watching you to ensure you don't eat too quickly.

Following “Dr. Lee’s” orders, you finish the entire bowl of ramen. Once done, he inquires, “Go brush your teeth, okay? Do you need to take your night meds?”

You pout but nod, getting up and taking the cup of water with you. You take your medicine before slowly brushing your teeth, trying not to let the sensation overwhelm you. When you finally finish, you pad back out to find Felix, who was currently cleaning the dishes.

You huff at him, upset that he was doing them for you. He wasn’t just doing the ones he cooked with, but even the ones you had left in the sink.

He says nothing but smiles when you hug him from behind and bury your face into his shirt. When he finishes and dries his hands, you drag him to the bathroom and get out a spare toothbrush, silently offering him to stay overnight.

“Go lay in bed; I’ll come and join you soon,” he says. When you nod, he takes the toothbrush and gets himself ready for bed.

You lay in bed playing games on your phone, curling up under your sheets. Felix soon comes back, grabbing a book off your bookshelf. He sets his phone on your bedside table, placing his there as well. Felix sits on your bed, leaning against the wall and spreading his legs.

“Come here,” he suggests, patting the spot between his legs.

You hesitate before sitting up, moving to sit in his lap, resting against his chest. He opens the book in front of you, making you giggle when you realize what it is.

“Didn’t your mom buy you this?” he asks, kissing your cheek before resting his chin on your shoulder. You nod as he opens the book. “I still can’t believe she knew it was a Star Wars storybook and didn’t think it was a children’s book,” he laughs.

A little giggle escapes you, and Felix beams. He begins to read, his gentle voice helping to lull you to sleep. When he finishes the book, he helps you lay down and tuck you in. He puts the book back and turns off the light, smiling at the soft whine escaping you.

You wiggle a little, subconsciously craving his hold. "Lixie?" You manage to murmur, not even realizing it was your first words since he came over. But he knew.

"I’m here," he assures you, climbing into bed with you and spooning you. Felix wraps his arm loosely around your waist, handing you one of your stuffies to cuddle. "This okay?" He checks with you.

You nod, relaxing into him and falling back asleep.

"I love you," Felix says lowly, and you can't quite tell if you were dreaming or not. You two had said that you love each other plenty of times before, but this time seemed different.

You wake up in the morning alone and immediately begin to panic.

"Felix?" You cry out, stumbling out of bed.

You're quick to find him in the kitchen and nearly cry out of relief.

"I didn't leave; I'm just making breakfast," he assures you, setting down the spatula and hugging you close.

When you pull away, he looks at you intently, a smile creeping onto his face. "Good morning, sweetheart," Felix says, causing you to blush.

"Morning," you manage, glancing down.

"Go take your medicine. And don't worry about being nonverbal or not, okay?" Felix says.

You tried not to go nonverbal around others, but you had mentioned your frustration to Felix before. People, especially your parents, always ended up forcing you into talking. It made you uncomfortable and took up extra energy, exhausting you quicker. Felix was rather understanding at the time, but you were always afraid to be around him while nonverbal due to the struggle of communicating. But at the moment, it was going surprisingly well. You figure it's his patience and caring nature.

You go and do as he says, briefly wondering why he was telling you what to do and why you found it so easy to listen. You shrug and come back out, sitting at the table as Felix places a plate of eggs and toast in front of you.

"Eat up, please," he says, joining you with a plate of his own.

You begin to eat, letting out a happy hum as you do.

Felix’s smile grows before he clears his throat. "I have to go into the studio today, but I'm not comfortable leaving you alone, even if I take all of your sharp objects," he admits, his expression turning serious.

You look intently at your plate, finding the yellow of the eggs to be a lovely color suddenly.

"Will you come to the studio with me? You can stay somewhere quiet and read for homework, if you'd like," Felix offers, watching closely for your reaction.

You'd never gone to the studio before. There had been times where Felix had said it would be okay, but you never had the chance. You wanted to, but you were worried about saesangs, getting Felix in trouble, starting a scandal… you had, and have, a lot of anxiety around it.

You hesitate before nodding slightly, causing Felix to grin in absolute delight.

"Okay! Great! And the second thing is… can I borrow clothes? I know you sometimes wear boxers to bed, and I just need a clean shirt and sweats…" Felix asks, and this time it was his turn to blush.

You laugh a little and nod, hoping your clothes would fit him.

"Great! Then after we get ready, I'll drive us there," he decides, smiling to make sure it was okay with you.

You nod in agreement, giving him a sense of relief.

You go use the bathroom, relieved that he didn't get up and leave without saying goodbye, or that the whole thing was a dream or strange hallucination. You take your medicine before going back to the kitchen, sitting at the table where Felix had already begun to eat.

You hum softly as you eat, letting him know to the best of your ability that you appreciate his actions.

Once you finish your plate, you bring them to the kitchen sink and wash them. You go to pick up the pan, but you can tell it’s too hot to wash. You leave it aside to cool down, drying your dishes as Felix washes his own.

After drying your hands as well, you head to your room with Felix to get ready for the day.

Felix helps you make your bed, but you manage to do most of it yourself so it was made the way you like it. You sit down and hug one of your pillows, watching as Felix goes through your clothes and picks something out to wear. He ends up picking out your clothes as well, getting you a soft shirt, your favorite pants, and a hoodie that he could have sworn belonged to him at one time.

He opens your underwear drawer before you can stop him, a noise of distraught escaping you. Felix ignores it just as he ignores your sex toys and lubricant, finding a pair of boxers for himself and a soft, simple pair of cotton panties for you along with a wireless bra.

Felix shuts the drawer and sets what he chose for you on the bed, the soft blush adorning his cheeks visible.

"I'll change in the bathroom, ok?" He states, gathering his borrowed clothes and shutting the door behind him.

In shock, you stare at the door for a moment before managing to get yourself dressed and tossing your dirty clothes in the hamper. You get up and head to the bathroom, greeted with an open door. Felix had already changed and was borrowing your hairbrush.

"Sorry," he apologizes, somewhat sheepishly.

You shake your head and dismiss it with a wave of your hand, silently letting him know you didn't mind.

"Turn around," he says.

You give him a confused look but turn around regardless, watching his reflection in the mirror. Felix runs the brush through your hair, careful about your ears. He sets the brush down and runs his fingers through your hair, braiding it. Felix then ties it off with a hair tie, beaming in pride at his creation.

You give him an appreciative smile before he asks, "are you ready?"

You shake your head, pulling out your makeup.

"You know you don't have to," he begins.

You shake your head more stubbornly, crossing your arms with a huff before you point to your concealer. Felix chuckles, and much to your surprise, he begins to do your makeup. You turn to lean against the sink, watching as he concentrates on doing your makeup. His soft breath fans over your cheeks, and you were secretly glad you gave him a toothbrush.

Felix doesn't take long, giving you only base makeup. He does your eye makeup very simply, looking through your lip products before choosing the one he wants for you. Felix applies the glossy tint, his concentration on your lips causing you to blush.

"There," he softly murmurs, stepping back for you to look in the mirror as he pockets the lip tint.

You beam at him, turning and hugging him. He gently rubs your back before leading you to the door.

"Ugh, socks!" He remembers, turning back and heading to your bedroom.

You laugh and go to the kitchen, somehow managing to start cleaning the dishes. Felix comes back and looks confused, only to realize what you were doing. He helps by drying the dishes, watching as you tie up the trash.

"Eggs," you say pointedly.

"Good idea," he hums, going and putting on his shoes.

You notice he grabbed your backpack and keys, so you put your own shoes on.

As you throw out the trash, Felix goes and starts your car. You soon join him, using the hand sanitizer you carry for situations like this.

Felix turns on soft music, driving to the company after ensuring you were both wearing your seatbelts.

Once he parks, he grabs masks from his bag for you both. Felix puts his on before going to the passenger side door and helping you with yours. He slings your backpack over his shoulder, locking your car before leading you inside. You don’t notice Felix’s fingers twitching, but you did wish you were holding hands. Even in your sensitive state, you knew holding hands here and to the JYP building was not a good idea, as the possibility of saesangs taking a photo and starting drama was too high for either of your likings.

Once inside, security tries to stop you. “It’s okay, they’re with me,” he assures the guard, taking your hand as he shows them his ID.

The security guard stares you down before nodding and taking both of your temperatures. The guard stands to the side, letting Felix take you to the elevator and towards their practice room. He doesn’t let go of your hand, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles.

Once off the elevator, another security member is about to stop you before they notice Felix holding your hand. “Excuse us,” he says, leading you around them. Their puzzled expression doesn’t go unnoticed by you, but you were glad they didn’t try to stop you.

He stops outside a room, pointing to it. “This is Channie hyung’s room, okay? If you need to go there for somewhere quieter, he won’t mind,” Felix explains, quickly pulling out his phone to check something. “Then we are practicing in this room today,” he says, leading you to a different door and opening it.

It was loud, as some of the others were stretching, talking, and dancing. Hyunjin smiles and waves as soon as he notices you, while most of the others shout their greetings. Changbin runs over and is about to hug you, but Felix stands in front of you, since Changbin was prone to hugging without asking.

“Do you want a hug?” Felix asks you, wanting you to be comfortable.

You hesitate before nodding, stepping around Felix and hugging Changbin. Changbin picks you up and spins you around, giggles escaping you.

“How are you? I can’t believe you came!” Changbin cheers as he sets you down, a grin on his face.

You step back into Felix, who gently holds your shoulders as you lose your balance. You look up at him, worry clouding your features.

“Y/N is… having some trouble talking right now. So, simple yes or no questions work best for them,” Felix explains, squeezing your shoulders reassuringly before letting you go.

“Oh, okay,” Changbin says, nodding despite not clearly understanding. “Sorry, Y/N, I didn’t know,” he adds, smiling.

You shrug a little, feeling your cheeks heat up.

“They don’t normally leave home when it happens. They generally are stressed and overwhelmed, so it helps them cope and is easier just to let them… communicate in other ways,” Felix further explains, moving to stand next to you and resting his hand on your back.

When you tense up, he withdraws his hand, but you stop him by grabbing his arm and shaking your head. Felix gently rubs soothing circles on your back as you accommodate yourself with the new space.

Chan comes over at the same time, smiling brightly. “It happens normally to neurodivergent people, right? Especially autistic ones?” Chan asks, looking at you for confirmation. You nod, and he continues. “Is it okay if I put my hand on your shoulder?” he asks. When you nod a second time, Chan places his hand on your shoulder and squeezes lightly. “I’m happy you came! If you need a break, you can go to my studio room, okay? Did Felix show you where it is?”

You nod, glancing at Felix.

“Okay, good! Today might not be the best day though,” he admits, looking to Felix.

“What do you mean by that?” Felix asks, rubbing your back.

Chan removes his hand from your shoulder and says in a hushed voice, “JYP is supposed to come to practice today.”

“I’m sure everything will be fine,” Felix responds with a tight lipped smile.

Once Felix makes sure you are comfortable sitting down, he produces earplugs from his pocket (you have no idea where or how he got them), and sets them in the palm of your hand. “In case it gets too loud,” he murmurs, smiling.

He straightens up as the choreographer enters the room, who they greet and thank. They soon start practicing, and you find yourself carefully stuffing the earplugs in your ears. You watch them in awe, looking at each of them practicing the new moves. Your eyes always come back to Felix, and you soon find yourself grinning like a fool. The song was amazing, and you wrote a note down in your phone to tell Chan, Changbin, and Jisung later on.

Right as they start a break, JYP himself comes into the room. You look up from your phone, the blood draining from your face as you try to meet Felix’s eyes. They immediately turn around and greet him, bowing and thanking him for his time.

“Show me what you have so far,” JYP says, heading towards you, standing in front of the mirror. That’s when he notices you. His eyes narrow and he walks over to you, and you immediately bow in greeting.

You feel the anxiety bubbling in your chest, threatening to overwhelm you as your breathing becomes irregular.

“You’re not an intern. Who are you?” he inquires, resting his hands on his hips.

You gape up at him, but thankfully Felix is quick to come to your aid.

“Sorry, JYP! This is my partner, Y/N. They can’t talk right now, since their doctor has their voice on rest-” Felix begins, only to be interrupted. Your eyes widen in shock as he introduces you as his partner, quickly trying to hide your surprise as he lies for you.

“So they’re sick? They shouldn’t be here then!” JYP demands, his face reddening in anger.

“No! They just aren’t supposed to talk because they had vocal chord surgery, that’s all!” he explains, doing his best to pull the lie.

Felix’s words seem to console and calm JYP, who huffs.

“Someone’s going to have to give them a non-disclosure agreement then,” he huffs, looking at the staff as if to tell them they needed to. “I will have a conversation with you later, Yongbok,” JYP sneers.

You knew Felix was in for it, but he gives you a charming smile before starting to practice.

You notice JYP’s glare every now and then, so when they take a break you make a beeline for the door, heading to Chan’s studio room and sending Felix a text with an explanation. You’re so caught up in remaining calm and composed that you almost bump into who turns out to be Mina from Twice.

Your eyes widen and you apologize, bowing and managing to say a soft, “I’m sorry.”

Once in Chan’s studio room, you move his chair and curl up under his desk. You put the hood of your hoodie over your head, doing some deep breathing. You take out the earplugs and put them in your pocket before turning on some soft, soothing music.

You close your eyes and don’t realize you had fallen asleep until Felix comes in the room, calling your name. Before he panics, he notices you under the desk. He bends down and offers you his hand, saying, “C’mon, you must be uncomfortable.”

You take it and he helps you stand up, your back popping as you do so.

“Are you hungry? It’s been a while since breakfast, and we all stopped and had lunch,” he explains, gently letting go of your hand.

You shove the hood off of your head, grabbing his forearms. “Did you mean what you said?” you ask, your eyes wide as your cheeks flush.

“What I said?” he asks, perplexed.

You stare at him for a moment before blurting, “You called me your partner…”

“Oh,” Felix says, his voice small. “About that…” he begins, subtly checking his pulse before rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable…”

“Do you want me to be your partner?” you bluntly rephrase.

Felix’s cheeks turn pinker and pinker as he nods ever so slightly. “I’ve thought about asking you before, but never did. I wasn’t sure if you felt the same way, and you’re my best friend…” he murmurs.

“Well…” you shyly begin. “You’re patient, caring, and help me when I go nonverbal. You’re understanding of my space and sometimes I swear you know me better than myself. You’re… Well, pretty much everything I want in a boyfriend…”

“Really?” Felix asks, surprised at your admission.

“Yeah…” you murmur with a nod, glancing downwards as you loosen your grip on his arms. You look back up and bite your lip before shyly asking, “Will you kiss me?”

Felix blinks, but smiles before pulling down both of your masks and giving you a soft kiss on your lips. You whine softly, so he cups your cheek and kisses you again.

After he pulls away, he smiles and giggles, “So about that non disclosure agreement…”

[allywritesforfun]

Uhhh, a part 2 of the AweSamDude story. I don't know, maybe the court case would be cool! If requests arent open, then ignore them

um yes! I have wanted to make a part 2 for so long but had no clue where to start and this just makes perfect sense!

{Locked Up Heart pt 2} irl!warden!awesamdude x Reader

pronouns: were originally not mentioned, but now are she/they

word count: 2987

trigger warnings: mention/talk of rape and murder, court cases, somewhat angsty 

a/n: the law I mentioned is a real law but I can't remember what the law is actually called so roll with it

part one

masterlist

You stared at yourself in the body mirror. You haven't seen yourself look like this in years. All dressed up and ready to impress. You wore a gorgeous black suit with a purple inside along with sleek black pants. You looked into the body mirror, admiring yourself.

Sam let you live with him “until you could find your own place” but neither of you had intentions of leaving. You looked at apartments once online, but you knew with this on your record that you were going nowhere but some run down ghetto, and Sam knew that too. 

He knew that you would be able to take care of yourself there, he wasn't scared for your safety or any of that. He was scared that you wouldn't be able to support yourself. Finding a job was hard, all that there was these days for someone like you was online surveys that were not reliable.

Staying with Sam was the best of the both of you. He has been without a roommate for years now. He felt less alone with you being there. The first couple nights were awkward. You slept on the pull out couch and didn't have much clothes. You felt terrible about the amount of washes you did, but eventually you started to get more comfortable with Sam. 

The first sign of progression was when he offered you his sweatshirt instead of a blanket. It was a sweet gesture, you gladly took it. Later that night instead of returning it, you cuddled it to sleep. Now, its your version of a teddy bear. Nice and warm and flourished with Sam’s scent.

You only started sleeping in his bed with him a week ago. It was a purposeful accident. He offered to watch tv in his room since you two deep cleaned the couch. You've planned on falling asleep on him, but you didn't plan for it to be that day. 

It was the best feeling in the world: waking up to being wrapped around and held tight and safe. You must've laid there when you woke up for an hour before Sam got up. You pretended to be asleep so that you could play the innocent girl card. It worked.

You felt a pair of large hands caress your waist. You jumped and had a little fear-induced hiccup.

“Sorry!” Sam took his hands off and backed away. “I’m still getting used to sensitive areas.”

You two have been working on okay areas to touch. You taught yourself to be extra alert while in the prison and certain touches trigger your reflexes and others cause panic, like hips.

Because of your high murder count, you were sent to the normal prison, the non-all woman prison. It wasn't the worst in the world. You only saw males during eating times, but it was common to get grabbed like that. It happened to every single female, every eating hour. The guards did nothing about it, not that they really could. 

Sam has seen it before, not you, but to other women. He had an idea of areas to stay away from, but he is such an affectionate guy and sometimes he forgets.

“You’re okay, Sam. The more you do it, the more comfortable I’ll get with it,” You explained.

Sam was so good to you. He’s helped you through it all. Everything that you needed to heal, he gave to you. 

“Well then maybe after the trial we can get some practice in...” He swooned. 

You chuckled, “If we win. There’s a chance I won't come back here tonight. I’m lucky enough that they gave me stay at home orders in the meantime.”

He nodded, “We’re gonna win.” He kissed your cheek, “How could anyone that looks as scrumptious as you right now lose? There is no way. We have the evidence, and we have your perfect prison record. Not a single misdemeanor! They might not drop all chargers but you’re coming home tonight.”

“Home?” You questioned.

You've avoided that word for the longest time. You always said ‘the house’ or ‘your place’. Not because you didn’t want this to be your home, not the exact opposite. You wanted this to be forever home, but you never wanted to overstay your welcome. 

“Yes home,” Sam laughed. “Why wouldn’t this be home... you feel safe here don’t you?”

“I do!” You exclaimed, waving your hands back and forth in denial. “I just didn't realize you wanted this to be my home.”

Sam offered his hand out to you; you gladly took it. His soft hand gently squeezed yours as he pulled you slowly into him, embracing you, “Of course I want this to be your home. I couldn't imagine anywhere else I would want you to be. This never felt like home to me, until you came home with me.”

You breathed in his scent, instantly relaxing into him, “I like it here. A lot.”

He pressed his lips to your forehead, “Now have that same attitude in court, we got to go.”

The court room was filled, more than you expected. You looked around, not recognizing a single face except for a few prison guards who were testifying on both sides. You noticed the media set it up in the back. Your story hit the news faster than expected. You did have a great story: warden falls in love with murder. 

“Hands out,” The officer directed.

You obliged. You opposed no threat to anyone and no intentions too, but if putting you in handcuffs made them feel better, then handcuffs it was. You looked back at Sam as the cold metal locked around your wrists. He replied with a frown, which quickly turned into an encouraging smile.

His bipolarness was the vibe right now. You noticed people having a hard time deciding where to sit. There were a lot of people on both sides, but no family members of yours. You gave up on them a long time ago when you noticed they weren’t writing letters and ignoring your calls.

You didn't need them, all you needed was Sam. You have everything you want right now, except for freedom.

“All rise!” 

You stood up from the wooden bench. The judge walked in wearing the classic black gown and had a book in his hands. He nodded at a few of his guards before taking a seat. He opened up his book and looked around the room, landing on you.

“Good afternoon everyone, and there are a lot of you,” His voice was so deep that it bounced against the walls, making an eerie echo. “Calling the case of State Prison vs y/n. Are both sides ready?”

The representative of the prison and your lawyer both replied with a yes. The jury then stood and raised their right hand and made their oath, returning to the bench. 

The representative stood up and gave their opening statement: “Ladies and gentleman of the court, Your Honor, the Jury. You will find that the defendant has been charged with four accounts of murder and convicted by confession. The defendant has taken accountability for all the murders committed and has given detail about how she killed those four men. It is ridiculous that we are here in court today deciding if we can release a serial killer back into the public. With a strong motive to kill, there is no reason why the defendant should be let back into the public eye.”

Serial killer. That is what you are. No one has ever said it that way, but he was absolutely right. You fit the definition perfectly, you had a type and more than three victims. It already wasn't looking good for you.

Your lawyer took center stage, “A martyr is the perfect word to describe the defendant. They have given their life to the state to save the lives of many to come. The strength that my client displays and ownership prove that although they are guilty of the crimes, they are still human and deserve a second chance.”

The judge called you to take the stand. You sat down after taking your oath and folded your hands neatly in your lap.

“Miss l/n,” He started. “Today you are trying to get your case dismissed after confessing to your crimes. That is very interesting. Let’s go back to before the crimes were committed, what were you thinking, what were you doing in your life at the time?”

You shook your head, “Many years ago I was an activist. I enjoyed speaking to the public about issues facing the community and the world at the time. If I wasn't outside with a sign, I was inside posting on social media. I was in college, I was studying Political Science.”

“And what were you planning on doing with the major?”

You paused. It’s been so long that you had a hard time remembering why you wanted to study and what career you wanted, “I was planning on becoming a political journalist, Your Honor.”

He shuffled around his papers, “I’ve looked at your latest credit that you were working on. It was a Sociology class. Do you remember what topic you were discussing in class?”

You nodded, “Rape. The number of rapes in a year and the number of rapists convicted was the last assignment I was working on.”

You remember that assignment like it was yesterday. That one assignment got you so worked up and so mad at the world, that you just had to do something. There was no way that you couldn't. Women’s voices were being ignored and cases rose every day; repeat offenders increased everyday.

“Now to my understanding all the men that you murdered were accused of rape.”

You nodded, “Yes, Your Honor.”

“The attorney may ask questions to Miss l/n.”

The attorney stood up and adjusted your jacket, “Miss l/n, did any of those men physically harm you?”

You shook your head, “No.”

“So you took advantage of the fact that you were young to persuade the men into being alone with you just to kill them?”

You shook your head, “No, I didn’t persuade them at all. All of them suggested going back to their place.”

“But you did stalk them to find out where they were going?”

“No,” You answered. “They had their location public on their phone. All I did was look up their name and I knew where they were.”

“So these men did nothing to you at all except invite you over to their house. And you accepted the offer under no influence or threat. You killed four innocent men and you want to be let back out on the streets? This woman is a danger to society. She seeks out innocent men to end their life for no reason.” He nodded his head and went back to his desk, looking at his notes. He looked back at you and nodded, “That will conclude my questioning.”

You looked back at your lawyer, they gave you back a look of relief. Then you searched the crowd for Sam. Once you found him he gave you a thumbs up. It seemed like you were already on top of the case.

“Miss y/n,” Your lawyer started. “We all know that you killed those men, but why?”

“They raped multiple women. When brought to court, they were given a light sentence and did not do proper justice to the woman. These woman went day to day fearing for their life that they ever spoke out about the terrible things that happened to them. I couldn't let myself live knowing that there was a reason for women to be scared because their government had failed them.”

“Those women were scared? Why were they scared?” “Because they feared that they would get raped again. All of those men were repeat offenders. They would only take more victims and never be punished.”

“So you killed those men to prevent others from being hurt with evidence that it would happen again.”

You nodded, “I would never hurt anyone that had no intentions of causing harm.”

“Miss l/n just described public defense. Under the public defense law, anyone can defend the public with reasonable cause. It’s like self-defense, but for others. She shouldn’t have been committed in the first place. If those men were still alive, they would have kept raping until they were killed. Miss y/n saved lives. That concludes my questioning.”

You were dismissed from the stand and went back by your lawyer. They smiled at you, knowing that with that alone, they had won the case.

The attorney called Sam to the stand; he took his oath and sat down.

“So, Sam. You were the warden in charge of the wing that Miss y/n was being held in?”

“Yes.”

“That prison is a tough place to be, she must’ve fussed around a lot.”

Sam shook his head, “Not one bit. She does not have a single complaint against her. Everything that was asked of her, she did with speed and efficiency. She didn't have one lash out in her time.”

“Nothing at all?”

“Like I said, not one complaint.”

“To my understanding you have a relationship with Miss l/n, is that correct?”

“Objection!” Your lawyer yelled. “Irrelevant to the case. Sam was called because of his position and his professional opinion, not his personal life.”

“Sustained.”

“That concludes my questioning.”

Your lawyer stood up and nodded. You could feel that they were about to lay down the last blow.

“Sam, did this prison have any rapists?”

He nodded, “All kinds of rapists, of all ages and target groups.”

“Did Miss l/n ever have contact with these rapists?”

“Yes. Most of the time during eating hours and the occasional passing in the hall.”

“And how did that interaction go?”

“Miss l/n was given a hard time by these rapists. While waiting in line she was often sexually grabbed. During passing she was cat called and teased at.”

“And what was here response to the sexual assault?”

“Stone faced, emotionless. Every time it happened it amazed me how she would just stand there and wait to be given a direction. The most reaction she’s ever had was lightly shuffling her body to get them off, but she never lunged or reached at them.”

“And what did the other guards do when they noticed this behavior?”

“Nothing. Sometimes they yelled if it was getting close to rape, but overall nothing. We were under instructions not to react because in the past it only caused encouragement of the assault. Prisoners love any excuse to fight a guard,” Sam looked over at you. “I am so sorry that there was nothing I could’ve done. Everyday I watched as you were touched and I wanted to give it to them, I wanted to make sure that I would see them every day of their life, but I couldn't. I couldn't risk hurting you more.”

You smiled, almost tearing up at his words, but you kept yourself composed with a small sniffle.

“The main concern of Miss y/n going back into the public is that she will kill again. As said by her and concluded by a court, she only killed rapists,” Your lawyer pointed out. “As stated by the warden in charge of looking over her, she had the opportunity to kill. She had the opportunity to hurt them, but she never took it. Even after being sexually assaulted, she still kept to herself. This is undeniable evidence that Miss y/n is a changed woman. In her file it is stated that she did more than required community service and went above and beyond with helping other cellmates. Her actions within the prison prove that she is a well-rounded and caring individual. She has changed her ways and is ready to go back into the world. She did justice to the world and it is time for the world to her justice.”

You waited anxiously for over an hour to find out what the jury had decided. You and your lawyer talked about possible outcomes. They told you the sooner they made the decision, the better chances that you had. You had no error in your case and said everything that you wanted to say. The opposing side’s evidence was all proven false.

You got called back into the court, the jury had made their final decision. You rose for the judge and took a seat when prompted. You could feel your leg bouncing.

“In the case of the State Prison vs l/n...” the judge started. You looked over your shoulder at Sam. He had his hands placed in a praying position with his head resting against them. “Miss y/n is found not guilty of all charges and her remaining sentence will be dismissed. She will compensated for her time falsely spent in prison plus be rewarded another trial for her sexual assault. This case is adjourned.”

You could feel emotion flood through you. Pure happiness and joy leaked from your eyes. You tilted your head back in relief and squeezed at your heart. All of these years of the bullshit you put up with was all worth it. You hugged your lawyer and thanked them up and down, the emotion so strong in you that you almost dropped to your knees. You were caught by familiar hands: Sam. Sam pulled you up and into him. He was practically jumping up and down in excitement. He calmed down for a second to lock eyes with you. He couldn't help but smile and cry with you. He placed his hands on your cheeks and pulled you into a deep kiss. It was nothing extravagant, just a simple deep and meaningful kiss that said all the words that he wanted to say.

“I’m coming home!”

[shoezuki]

ASKS U HERE SO IT MAY BE PUBLIC. MORE ARCTIC ANARCHIST COMMUNE HEADCANONS PWEASE?

FINE YOU’VE LEFT ME NO CHOICE thankyou i keep forgetting to make more hc things lsahfkjsgk

initially philza is Constantly trying to not so subtly get ranboo n techno to Bond. theyre both anxious and Tentative to establish Anything close to friendship and philza isnt having it

it doesnt really. work. because philza’s idea of ‘bonding’ is either intense brawls or going to cause chaos together

“ey techno. ranboo. i saw a village way over the mountains in the biome over. why dont you guys like... go and destroy them and scavenge what you can :)’

technically it EVENTUALLY works. mostly because they get distracted by a fox and get lost one day

one day ranboo accidentally calls phil ‘dad’ and he’s mortified. technoblade has to excuse himself because he doesnt want ranboo to see him cry from laughing so hard

phil is honored. and feeling a little guilty :)

ranboo goes looking for some tools at phil’s request as they build his house together. he ends up opening technoblade’s Valuables Chest

phil comes running after hearing crashing. finds that techno had instinctively charged at him like a boar and ranboo screeched and launched himself up on the ceiling beams. he’s hissing like a cat stuck in a tube TV

technoblade is mortified after and vanishes. phil has to explain that it was the piglin instinct because ranboo is still ‘new’ so he instinctively saw it as an intruder going through his belongings

ranboo feels kinda dejected (theyd been getting along, he thought) despite philza ensuring time and time again that it was Only Instinct.

technoblade comes back late that night but doesnt say where he’s been

phil already knows he was venting to carl 

he’s Extremely tempted to just pretend it didnt happen but like. the voices are angry at techno even at the Idea of that so he actually. goes to ranboo to apologize

“hey..... ranboo.” “a-ah. hi.” “so.... you remember today right?” Ranboo, very awkwardly closing his memory book. “...... whats today?” “youre a horrible liar”

it ends more like... technoblade ends up opening up for the first time. more about being inhuman. with rambling and stiff hand gestures and constantly darting from topic to topic without much connection. but ranboo gets it

they end up staying up Really late either just in silence or talking about Not Being Human. 

techno’s never had the chance to talk about this with anyone beyond phil, but as much as phil cares he cant relate so much

late nights just hanging out and talking become somewhat Regular.

sometimes brewing potions together, sometimes when phil insists they need to try and organize their belongings better.

about a week later, ranboo goes looking for... something. he lost something but cant remember really

he opens that same chest and freezes. techno is standing right there, staring at him

technoblade just laughs

whenever ranboo forgets something, phil and techno usually are able to remind him. he feels less scrambled with the support

technoblade’s reputation as something to be feared his a Crutch to him. 

he overthinks every conversation and panics in groups or when on the spot. even when with one other person. he falls into the comfort of being unapproachable and Looming over people so they cant see his anxiety

for some fucking reason ranboo could Never clue on on the Looming, Intimidating vibes techno would try and put out. 

technoblade doesnt get it. phil says maybe its because ranboo Trusts Him and sees beyond him being something Terrifying

technoblade panics like ‘oh god phil what if i say something dumb’ and phil just holds his head in his hands

ranboo has a tendency to echo what people say. he tries to quell it because people get annoyed. but one time, techno makes a Really Bad attempt at replicating a noise edward made and ranboo instantly echoed it back

phil comes in hours later and theyre both just. echoing this Weird Meaningless noise back and forth to each other. edward looks pained

ranboo plans to go get his pets. he’s been planning it all day. constantly saying ‘well i need to go get my pets now...’ and then just. not leaving

at first phil just thinks he keeps forgetting and lets him be. but then he sees him fidgeting, the crackled noises under his breath, the way he keeps clenching and unclenching his fits

phil offers to help him out. he wasnt doing much anyways. ranboo sighs in relief

when they get to ranboo’s old panic room, phil watches how he keeps trying to look away from it. cant even seem to go near it. he’s talking to himself something phil can’t make out

phil frowns, but just says ‘we shouldnt waste obsidian right mate?”

ranboo almost cries in relief when phil takes it all down. philza doesnt mention it or the signs (yet) but offers a Fatherly pat on the shoulder

he’s nearly knocked off balance when ranboo lunges out and hugs him