#my writing has the same problem as my art
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
So, apparently, weāre doing this again. The moral hysteria over incest in fanfiction, brought to you by anons who believe writing about taboo topics is equivalent to endorsing them. I get so many asks with this same topic, and I delete most of them, but the sheer bad-faith logic around fictional incest is so intellectually dishonest...
I write Celegorm/Curufin fic. Not because I secretly want to bang my sisters, not because I think incest is good, not because I fetishize all sibling pairings... but because this one dynamic, within this fictional framework, for me, is compelling. Sometimes Celegorm wants to shield Curufin. Sometimes he wants to kill Curufin. Sometimes Curufin is sweet, sometimes he is cruel. And they do face consequences for their choices. If someone wants to write incest erotica as a fetish, thatās not my business either. Nobody is being forced to read it.
If your argument is that writing or reading these dynamics in fanfic is dangerous because it ānormalizesā real-world incest, then you might want to unplug your TV and turn off your PC. Because if fiction had that much power to shape human behavior, we'd all be gun-wielding sociopaths right now.
Adults (supposedly) understand the difference between fantasy and reality. If you donāt, thatās not a fandom problem; thatās a media literacy problem.
At this point, I think these asks arenāt really about caring or protecting anyone. Itās about control, about policing taste and āacceptableā imagination. Itās the same logic that leads to book bans and art censorship.
I donāt need to justify my fic with trauma backstory, social critique, or some moral angle to make it okay. Sometimes they suffer. Sometimes they get away with it. Sometimes itās hot and terrible and complex and none of it has anything to do with what I believe is right or wrong in real life.
This is the first and will be the last time I will justify myself here about Tyelcurvo. Spare me the concern trolling over what two fictional men from a fictional family in a mythic past do in a fan-created narrative space.
They're not your brothers. You're not reading it.
46 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
It's way too hot and I am way too tired to do any more efforts, so excuse the critical lack of quality here.

If you didn't know, Cole is my favourite Power Ranger :D
And while I was binge watching Ninjago I had the pleasant surprise to see him physically and mentally traumatized in season 5 š
And since I'm a huge sucker for angst, my brain immediately thought of developing that idea in order to hurt my beautiful baby boy some more. That and also the fact that my brain immediately looks for logic in the laws of cartoon physics (I really shouldn't do that...)
So I bring you the "Cole is a Ghost Kind-of-Saga". I still have a few more ideas to exploit, notably adressing the ways the other ninjas will help him cope with his new condition :3
And maaaaybeeeee a small comic too š
Anyways, I will let my brain rest a bit for now and sleep.
#I really want to rant about the things I wrote but my brain is melting#but basically ghosts are part of another plane of existence or smt#which explains for me why they can't really interact with anything from the living world#and also why Cole has visions#and why he has a different perception of time and can randomly space out#and I thought Cole was a bit different from other ghosts because he left the temple at the same second the sun arrived#and it is the reason why he isn't forced to stay in the temple#but also why he can interact with objects more easily#again these are just conjectures and headcanons from me#don't take this seriously#and also YES I'm gonna LOVE to write about his friends reactions#and how they can help him go through this#Because I still think that it is a lot#And Cole must suffer about it#But I also think that he is not the kind to express his feelings so he would suffer in silence#so his friends will have to be supportive without being too invasive#I think that there will also be a phase where they will prevent him from fighting/going out at all to protect him#because he would risk his life when they fight against other ghosts and he can't touch water and still has problem controlling his abilities#so even more angst because he would feel useless and the others would fear for him nonstop#my art#ninjago fanart#ninjago season 5#ninjago cole#ninjago#cole is a ghost
167 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Sure hope this isn't some kind of foreshadowing

#I do think it is though#considering the way the use of the angel statue was foreshadowed#and lillium's legs#I should reread the comic at some point#see what I catch#only reason I found this is because I vaguely remembered them talking about homes#and I do think there are other bits of foreshadowing lying around too#the smoke(?) from the iris ability was always red for the madam (from what we have seen) but (I think) it's only been red when Iris popped-#-that one girls eye (gonna be honest though. I didn't realize he popped it at first? I kinda thought it was a flower)#and the white people begging iris (thinking he's irid) to ācompleteā them#aaaaaalmost makes it sounds like irid made the world they fell into?#but that's crazy#but iris' power is bringing art to life sooooooo it kinda makes sense?#getting entirely off topic!#THAT is only a thought I've had in my head for the past few days#and it has been bugging me since I thought of it#because what if irid faced the same problem iris does?#people wanting to use him or kill him?#ugh#maybe one of these days I'll get the courage to put my thoughts somewhere that isn't the tags#I'm surprised I'm writing them down at all#I should post this before I lose my nerve#countdown to countdown#ctccomic
61 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
little roleswap AU ive thought about once or twice
#kamen rider kuuga#ichijo kaoru#tsubaki shuichi#godai yusuke#art#my post#ichijo taking after his mother kind of thing....#tsubaki is not the type for violence so how he ends up a cop is uhhh just how it is but i think he and sakurai would be funny together#he would drive sugita up the wall but is undeniably good at his job#tsubaki has a bad running joke about how he'll have to put down kuuga that becomes not funny extremely fast#originally mental ichijos tag was supposed to read āprofessionalismā but the resolution was too small to write it so its super ego instead#same reason why i wrote tsubaki in kanji lol also i learned his surname is the kanji for camellia flower which means *googleā#romantic love and devotion-huh. cute#ichijo normally has no problems setting his brain to work mode so hes not awkward about biology but theres something about this bug guy...#using a new brush today it felt pretty nice to use :)#anyways you KNOW its a kuuga post the way the tags take up the length of my phone screen...
19 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
sorry hi last reblog has me thinking about how i havent played in awhile. i haven't been a fan of the recent updates they're far too 'content production'-y for me. but i just want to express i think many of the best moments in gw2 story have been when the writing is utter camp slop that the writers were clearly extremely emotionally invested in, completely regardless of their production timeframes or budget. my opinion basically is guild wars 2 is better when it's worse
#my stuff#technically id say pof had really high production value but it was also such an anomaly right#hot off the heels of HoT with both nothing and everything to lose#i admire their tactic of being like what can we do to redeem our objectively sort of mid mmo after our first xpac just bombed?#we know. kill the player character. [american psycho william dafoe forehead slap gif]#no but really i do think its a problem its trying to be more 'professional' now#its choking itself trying to do the same things that major riot and blizz releases do#where theyre really high budget polished formulaic. like a marvel movie#except gw2 doesnt even have that budget now still so what theyre effectively accomplishing is choking the soul out of it#while also making it less unique compared to every other comparable product out there#i dont think people really like mmos because theyre 'good' they like them because theyre fun and generally let you do whatever you want#i think ones that do a better job financially seem to be ones that focus foremost on how fun combat is#and secondly how much they can indulge the player in various silly whimsies. which involve money#this is often why the stories are great. and camp. because they are often shafted and therefore bad#and therefore some random gay writer can shoehorn in whatever weird eccentric horseslop they want#random stealth trans writer whos cubicle has dune figurines in it: yeah this chapter will mostly focus on the main characters emotional --#conflicts and bodily autonomy juxtaposed with the lore of our magic universe's growing entropy#execs: ok. well can that be gamified? is it toyetic?#writer: yeah sure#execs: right sounds fine we'll just ship whatever it is then#but then they start firing everyone and bringing in third parties who write based off 'market research' and not vibes or art#and thats when it gets actual bad bad
12 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Promotional for Tate's company in my interp of A Better World AU.
FULL TEXT BENEATH THE CUTā¼ļøā¼ļø
God, I love exploring what he can do if he hadn't suffered through his father abandoning them and then YEARS of caretaker burnout as he tried in vain to heal his dad. What if he hadn't learned to fear his intellect and skill. What if Appalachia hadn't been cut out of him by being raised in the Bay Area. What if his abilities and cultural identity were both nurtured and encouraged by loving parents and a strong educational support system. What then. šļø
I think he definitely still has his issues, because public figures often do lol. Fame causes so many problems. But fuck if I don't wanna let this lil scruffy genius out of his mental cage of repression, burnout, and depression. I think he's wild, enthusiastic, and has so much heart and spirit underneath all those layers of bullshit. 30 years of suffering and he is in his 30s, the divergence of the AU puts him on a radically different path from childhood and that makes him a TOTALLY new person.
On the highest peaks in the world, the strongest tethers aren't your rope, but the emotional ties which unite your climbing team and keep you connected to those waiting for you back home. Whether it's by blood or by choice, Tater Higgs McGucket understands the importance of family. Son of revolutionary inventor and co-founder of the Institute of Oddology Fiddleford Hadron McGucket, Tate describes his father as his closest friend, collaborator, and mentor. In collaboration with family friend and other co-founder of the Institute Stanford ("Ford") Pines, the three first designed their renowned supplemental oxygen delivery system after an expedition studying anomalies in the Himalayas.
"Our investigation took us to Camp 1 of Manaslu," Tate described in an exclusive interview with Mountaineering Monthly last week, "And I was shocked by the amount of traffic. This was some of the roughest terrain on the planet, but we saw more people out there than on some of my hiking trips back home in Oregon. . . Ford was our interpreter, and after talking with the locals, we realized that there were all these companies selling tickets to the top ā with sherpas puttin' themselves on the line just to ferry tourists to the summit."
The influx of inexperienced climbers has had disastrous consequences, as Tate witnessed firsthand. "A lot of these people, they're physically and mentally capable of makin' that kinda climb, but maybe they don't follow best practice. You can summit without any oxygen, if ya stop and acclimatize along the way. But that takes a while, so it can be really temptin' to ignore your body and throw an oxygen bandaid at the problem. But then you're puttin' yourself in an emergency situation if it fails. While we were there, one of those climbers ran out, and a sherpa had to run more oxygen up there. I told him there was a storm a-comin', but he went up anyway. And we ended up losin' 'em both."
Tate's growing twang was underscored by a nervous bouncing of his leg, and he took a moment to collect himself before resuming the interview.
"Dad and I had a look at these open circuit breathing apparatuses. While they were reliable, we saw they were plum wasteful. Knew we could make somethin' better. There's a growin' culture of risk-takin' 'round them mountains. And maybe we cain't stop the industry that's causin' these problems, but we can at least make it safer for them climbers. 'Cuz at the end of the day, regardless of what ya think about these people? With an accident like that, thereās people left behind that're a-hurtin' somethin' fierce. Partners, friends, kids without parents. I mean, just the thought of losin' my dad like that is enough to break my heart ā but that's reality, for both the families of that climber and the sherpa who died tryin' to save him. . . Naw, I reckon we can do better."
That was how the youngest McGucket, who had become a household name in the 1990s for his work in designing personal computers with his father's company, first ventured into the world of alpinism. But what he hadn't expected was to fall in love during the process.
"I always needed nature," he explained, "I get overstimulated awfully easy, and so I go out there to clear my head. Been hikin' and fishin' since I was a kid. . . And so, after workin' with climbers to test this equipment ā I saw a lot of them eight-thousanders up close, right? And one day, I just knew I had to see it from the top."
But having become familiar with the dangers involved, Tate knew that preparing himself for such a climb would be no easy task.
Luckily, he found a trainer in Ford's twin brother, Stanley Pines.
āStanley is a stand-up guy. Real old school. Throws a hell of a punch, catches a hell of a catfish.ā Tate said of his mentor, āHeās a fighter. So I knew I needed him, because all it takes is one slip up or act of god for these expeditions to turn life-or-death. And heās been great. Neither of us knew much about rock climbinā or mountaineering before all this. But weāve learned together. And having summited a few eight-thousanders now, I can tell ya, I wouldnāt be here without his help.ā
Also aiding in his expeditions were his prototype real-time weather and vital monitoring systems, which have since become standard issue in all McGucket brand protective wear. But Tate is most proud of his high-frequency beacon system, which allows climbers to communicate with their partners and first responders ā even from inside perilous crevasses.
"The danger of avalanche or serac collapse is real. There are times when your life just aināt in your own hands. Our systems allow climbers to communicate when theyāre entering or exiting a perilous area, and can send out an SOS. Theyāre also constantly pinging, so in the event somethinā does happen, theyāll help your climbing partners or first responders find you.ā
But high altitudes arenāt the only place youāll find the twin peaks of McGucket Mountaineering. Tateās inventions have seen heavy use by first responders of all stripes, from firefighters to wilderness search and rescue ā and he has recently signed a contract to manufacture respirators for medical use.
"At the end of the day, itās all about making it home safely.ā Tate concluded, āYou gotta prioritize what matters most. You can do incredible things in this world, but none of it matters if you canāt share them with the people who love you.ā
#gravity falls#tate mcgucket#yes i write tate with an accent even though he was raised in oregon in this AU#bc i hc that he probably had a LOT of problems after starting public school (during his dad's initial absence)#autistic overstimulation & shutting down#plus classmates harrassing him asking if hes from beverly hillbillies#and teachers correcting his dialect out of him as improper#in Fiddleford's absence emma may has to be the sole provider and it's just difficult to fully address and prevent that#but in this AU fidds comes home to find his son terribly insecure#believing hes stupid (when he was bright and chrious and already brushing with ALGEBRA when Fidds left) bc āhillbillies are dumbā and he#āforgets how to talkā in school when his classmates get loud#and he sees Tate self correcting his accent and#and fiddleford has been thru this himself personally in college#we know he was holding back bc his accent got thicker as he devolved with the memory gun so#yeah fidds would have homeschooled him š¤ not allowing his son to experience the same fuckin trauma#and so tate recovers his accent in this au whereas my normal verse tate has it forcibly removed#though he knows how to code switch and is trying for this interview#it usually gets thicker with anxiety lol#fuck me forgot the art tag#my art#ramblings
19 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
also i am gravitysoda on instagram, bluesky, and twitter as well š so if we die, you can meet me again thereā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦
#i am going to have to start using bluesky more i guess#honestly the most upsetting thing abt tumblr going under for me is like#nowhere else really DISCUSSES or analyzes media in the same way#thereās nowhere else to go where people can and do write long rambling word based posts#breaking down their favorite showās themes or their blorboās unique and special problems#also the tagging culture here š#tumblr has been my favorite platform to post art on bc of the tags i getā¦#nobody will scream in agony or joy in my comments sections like they do in tumblr tags#and like those tags are part of what keeps me posting online at all!!! bc theyre so enjoyable to read!#actual feedback on my art is so much more rare on other platforms#uggghhh i hope it doesnāt go under somehow
7 notes
Ā·
View notes
Photo
What is it that draws me to you (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#DAX#ZEX#In case you missed my DAXfic post lol - accompanying art! Have some images!#There is actually a set of speculation around VUX medals but I forgot to go look at it and now I forget where it is ahhhh#I'll find it again! I'm gonna look the heck out of it!!#The important shorthand being communicated here is that DAX only had one medal while ZEX has a few - little militia hehe#Which medals of theirs match and which are exclusive to ZEX's brilliance..... To DAX's specialties..............#Writing the fic is a bit of a blur now since I wrote it all in one night and was Very tired by the end of it lol#It's so ZEX-centric for being DAX's POV hehe <3 He loves ZEX! Can't take his eye off him āŖ#But there was a lot of ZEX-study in there as well - specifically around his impulsivity and how that affects his work vs. social lives#Genius-level creative at problem-solving but socially inept <3 We love a problem/solution nail/hammer dichotomy hehe <3#Not every problem can be solved in the same way! How frustrating hehe#It did feel very indulgent to write a ''How did we get here'' to DAX calling ZEX ''sir'' rather than his name ahh#Not that I mind!!! It was fun <3 It's sweet <3 It really might as well be a pet name by this point hehe#The kind of intimacy that grows into itself - and yet context also matters so much!#Calling him Admiral (or whatever rank he's at - like when ZEX comes to congratulate him ah <3) /can/ be a distancing move#But also a show of respect and admiration - and ''sir'' can be the same! Signal of fealty over personal closeness hhahhahahhhhhghrhrhg#<Insane about them noises#Glad to have written it āŖ Even if it wasn't my intended fic for the month I'm glad it's here <3
6 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
~
#delete later#another journal entry š for the void#i have not been sleeping well for the past 2 wks šµāš« i always wake up like clockwork after 5-6 hrs which feels like not nearly enough#i feel like i've done everything there is to do (consistent exercise + consistent sleep times + earplugs + weighted blanket + no caffeine)#last night i took melatonin too but no... same problem staying asleep š#ahh whatever. i'm just frustrated that it has to be this way :(#anyways in an act of spite i reread like the 4 wips that have been sitting in my drafts from the past few weeks#i think something that will never cease to surprise me about writing is that more effort/time doesn't necessarily translate to better#results; i suppose that's the case with all kinds of art but#it does feel somewhat unintuitive. one of my fav professors in uni said to not dismiss those 'lightning in a bottle' moments (in art) as#blind luck... but to instead analyze the circumstances and iterate on recreating them. and i think one of my artist friends who i deeply#respect said something similar (wrt artistic rituals/setup). i have too many thoughts on writing and on my own creative processes and#weaknesses to fit into any number of tags here. :') that said...#*shakes ch2 draft* after everything i did and all the hours i spent WHY are you still so bad?!!! D: i am baffled and frustrated.#and why do i prefer this other [redacted] draft which i hammered out with utterly no regard towards the quality??#anyways. back to the drawing board i guess T.T
25 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
25 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Give your characters big, prominent noses. Make them bumpy. Make them hooked. Make them wide. Make them tall. Make them long. Make them crooked. Make them pointy. Make them bulbous.
Defy beauty trends! Defy gender standards! Fuck it! Big noses!
#writing#design#character design#art#artists#artists on tumblr#drawing#i love my bumpy nose and i fucking love giving my characters fun noses#and modern disney style animation makes me seethe because every character i see has a nose defined by their gender#every time i see the copy pasted women with their button noses tiny mouths and gigantic eyes i get SO mad it's unreal#one can argue that anime has the same problem but i generally don't consume much anymore so i don't see the character design flaws
5 notes
Ā·
View notes
Note
š Would you ever accept requests or commissions?
fanfic writer asks <3
I will break this into two parts.
I do accept requests. I am not a super fast writer and I often have a bunch of WIPS already. I am picky about what I write so it really depends on if your request really grabs me. I will write it eventually but don't hold your breath because it could be a while XD I do very much appreciate people sending in ideas, love hearing people's hcs and the like.
On commissions, no I won't write fic for money. Not the reason I do it, and I couldn't post it on AO3 if I did anyway. My main goal is to share my work and write stuff I think is fun.
I would be open to commission work for original fiction/ocs, but again I am super picky.
#I have the same issue with commissions as an artist#I am an artist and I do some commission work#but I hate hate hate being told what to do to the point I will say no to anything I dont feel strongly about#and a request doesnt mean I will 100% write it#I might#sometimes I need to let it marinate for a few months#Like I know I will write it eventually but I dont have that final piece of the puzzle in my head to start#and if I start too soon the project would be DOA#the writers who can take and actually write requests fast I am in awe#how are you doing that?#but yeah my problem with authority extends to anyone telling me what to do ever#I usually take commissions I can have some input on#if there is no creative leeway for me then I lose interest fast#now I did do art commissions for a few things I didnt care for when I needed money for meds#but fortunately I am not in a place where I need to do that anymore#I make art and people buy prints or originals if they like it and thats it#I have not done writing commissions before but it would be the same I think#like if you have monster smut you want involving ocs I can make I would be down#I have turned down multiple offers for fic in the past#I appreciate it but I cannot accept money for fic#also one person severely lowballed#like I dont do it for money but even if I did that is way too low#ask games#anons#now everyone has a price#but I dont think most ppl would be willing to pay it
2 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
I donāt get why people feel like the Duolingo owl is threatening, if I ever feel like he is I just get mad at him. I could fight an owl. I donāt know if Iād win, but I donāt think Iād lose (two things that can apparently coexist). I think Iād survive at least and thatās not really winning but also not losing.
You wanna be so threatening? Da bĆør du drepe meg!
#emma posts#I used google translate for help because they havenāt taught me the phrase ākill meā yet#taught me the word for beer Ćøle but not the more important words like ākillā#as far as I can tell everything else in that sentence checks out so I figured the translation was good enough#not sure if itās in the right order or if you use better that way in Norwegian. but good enough for a tumblr flop post#Emmaās adventures in using Duolingo#I should honestly use that as a tag for it#I post enough venting about that app#until I find out if Iām dyslexic for sure and thereās a way to help that with other languages. Iām not going to pay for Babbel yet#Babbel has Icelandic lessons too I think and that is my final boss tbh#Iāve been going from easiest for English speakers to hardest as my plan#and it turns out that I forgot how much some of my issues affect learning new languages#last time I learned another language it was Spanish and Iām not fluent but Iāve had classes and been around it for so long#that i kinda forgot what itās like to start from scratch#I didnāt start trying to learn Norwegian until I was 26#or was it my 27th birthday? I could check my streak#I was like āpsh. it will be harder with my disabilities. but I should be able to read. my top priority with this languageā#and then I realized I had been somehow adapting to the other two languages since childhood and forgot how much I had to work around#I mean. I knew I was worse at language arts in school than I was in literature and writing. but still#I also already knew I was worse at making new sentences in other languages than I was figuring out ones that someone else made#but I thought that was just because I hadnāt used Spanish much for several years now#every time I try to re-learn Spanish it just ends up with me being able to figure out what someone said to me but not how to answer#if i brushed up on it again i could probably have a conversation with someone who understood English but better spoke Spanish#someone with the same problem as me but reversed language wise#please donāt take this as me saying I could currently have an entire conversation with someone speaking Spanish#Iām better than someone who never learned it and didnāt encounter itās use a lot. but I really donāt think I could have a real conversation#not at the moment at least#I have been meaning to brush up on Spanish again too. there are at least real classes in my area for it and not just an app#the last time there were Norwegian classes around here my dad was in college and old people still spoke it#no one around here speaks it anymore
4 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
ignore this.
learning to shut up when i dont have anything new to say to the discussions my mutuals are having about the treatment of the female characters in this show and fandom
even though ive just gone ahead and rambled in the tags a bunch of bullshit
#lohst.txt#they're all so right#because this fandom has had problems since the beginning#its always about the boys#the fics and the art and everything#and the fact that a large portion of this fandom is obsessed with the squip. the ACTUAL villain. yet would wish a 16 year old girl death#yeah. chloe did some fucked up things. yeah. dywh is an awful situation that was not handled well#(because this show has awful writing. you guys have been saying that already and youre right)#but come on. y'all act like the other characters did nothing wrong#if the writers would have cared to put actual depth into these characters#i havent listened to the source material in. a while. and i never got around to watching any other boot other than two rivers#i dont know what im saying#it was so easy to join bmc rp servers because no one ever picked the girls#did that mean i was left out of the rps? mostly. yeah#i mean. those servers always had the same rich and jake so we'd team up#but the jeremy and michael would barely give room for anyone else to interact with them#i used to have some discussions with someone about the flaws of this show and how the girls are constantly ignored#(back when i had sort of dipped out of the fandom)#anyway im never one to get involved in discourse directly#i support my mutuals and reblog art and post my silly little fics#mostly because im always too tired to put a lot of thought into any in depth analysis#(even though i have alot of thoughts on chloe and fairytales. which has nothing to do with this whatsoever)#everyone else has said it so much better than what i can currently come up with rn#but the way that the girls get watered down to one personality trait (this includes madeline). and are always used as background characters#the way there was so much christine hate at one point because she got inn the way of boyf riends#i looked chloe up on pinterest the other day out of curiosity#and there was so much hate#everyone likes christine and brooke#theyre the nice girls#the ones that get watered down to innocent and naĆÆve and the mum friend of the group
7 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
honestly.
#just me hi#okay so i have this very insistent problem where i can't finish things#can you tell yet? i start a project and then i just get bored or Something#which Sucks!!! i want to finish them!! i Want to be done and to know i can finish things!!!#but i just CAN'T#it happens with projects and with shows and with books and with cleaning too sometimes#it happens when i write and when i'm sitting and when i'm sleeping and when i'm singing and when i'm walking to nowhere#it's just There!! i can't finish it doesn't matter how short or how easy or how wonderful and happy it could make me feel i can't Finish#if it's Hard the sheer number of steps required to even get from here to there overwhelms me. the predicted length of time is just the#finishing blow#i Want to finish i Need to stop the story. but i just caaaaaaaaaan'tttttt#it's a whole joke in the home actuallyā 'oh you've started another story? ha! same as always huh?'#which yes is funny but also i'm so tiiiiiiiired of always starting over#i love it i love building new things but once i have the finished product in my mind there is no allureā no appeal to actually finishing th#Real Thing !!#maybe that's why i like art and i can finish piecesā because the image is always shifting. it's like liquid#i dunno i'm just kinda frustrated!! years and years and i still can't finish anything :/#maybe one day one day one day#urghhh#//okey uhm. ... :3#i'm going to do a small thing nowā and i'm Going to finish it#:>
3 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Canāt live without your love inside me now
Tags: sextherapist!Nanami x fem!reader, nocurse!au, taboo romance, heavy topics such as sexual assault, dead dove due to the power imbalance and heavy conversation, is this considered angst? idk
Synopsis: In which Kento Nanami is a sex therapist, and his client is a young neglected wife with an emotionally absent husband. He teaches you what love is really all about.
An: Just another warning that this fic deals with heavy themes. Itās honestly been so therapeutic for me to write due to my own history. If itās not for you, I have plenty of other Nanami fics that are more lighthearted. For the anons in my requests asking for more Nanami, this is for you.
Part one. | Part two. | Part three. |

āWith those things in mind, Iām interested in what has brought you into my office today.ā
āIām not sure⦠Sex just doesnāt appeal to me much anymore.ā
Being a sex therapist, Kento Nanami has heard it all. Heās seen this same presenting problem again and again. Heās counseled young and older men with erectile dysfunction. Heās counseled persons of the LGBTQ+ community come to terms with their sexuality and how that relates to sex. Heās counseled so many people who come from purity culture and struggle with sex. Heās counseled couples who canāt seem to get it right in the bedroom. Heās counseled sexual assault survivors.
Kento Nanami prides himself on upholding the ethics of counseling. He keeps the code of ethics proudly sat upon his shelf. His goal as a therapist was to give everyone a safe space to divulge their most vulnerable inner thoughts to him.
Sex was too often treated as a taboo, offensive subject, which is why Nanami got into sex therapy in the first place. He wanted to change the stigma around it. Sex was a basic need for the majority of individuals, and many times, people have poor experiences with sex since itās not normalized and hardly talked about.
āOkay, so is it fair to say you donāt often feel like youāre in the mood for sex?ā he asked as he looked towards his client. A pretty young lady sat across from him on his couch. His āofficeā was in his home, finding that people often didnāt want to talk about sex in what they considered to be a āpublicā space like a therapistās office.
āYeah, I mean⦠I just...ā your voice trailed off. You already felt like this might be a mistake. Your arms crossed over your chest as it felt like you were naked in front of your incredibly handsome counselor.
His office was nice, serene almost. He had different seating options and all kinds of fidget items around his office. He also had a plethora of books on a shelf behind his desk.
It seems he enjoys spending his time reading up about the art of sex. You canāt help but feel your face warm from thinking about him reading those sorts of things in his free time.
The walls were painted a nice soft blue grey color, and the office smelled like fresh linen from the aroma diffuser in the corner of the room. Several different houseplants were also scattered about. They all looked healthy, assuring you that Nanami paid attention to detail. He was responsible and consistent.
āTake your time,ā Nanami assured you as he sat back in his chair. āThe first visit is always the hardest. Donāt feel pressured to get down to the bottom of why youāre lacking a sexual drive. These things take time and trial and error.ā
That was⦠almost reassuring. You took a deep breath as your fingers absentmindedly twirled a strand of hair behind your ear. The familiar ministration worked to calm your mind.
āIām young, and Iām recently married. I have no kids. I feel like I should be⦠I donāt knowā at my sexual prime or something.ā
āWhat gave you that idea?ā Nanami probed as he continued observing your small nervous habits. He found his lips trying to curl into a smile, but he kept his face meticulously trained as a look of interest.
āWell, girls talk, you know? My girlfriends talk about their lack of a sex life stemming from other obligations or from a lack of a connectionā¦ā you explained as you briefly looked up at Nanami. Each time his hazel eyes met yours, you had to look away immediately.
When you found his information online, you didnāt think heād be this handsome. You just saw all of his credentials, and you had heard good things about him on different websites centered around āratingā therapists.
Of course, you had done some digging on him. There was no way in hell you were going to go to some strange manās house to talk about sex. That sounded ridiculous.
āDo you compare yourself to these so called āgirlfriendsā often?ā Nanami asked calmly. His voice was even and smooth, allowing you feel even more safe to open up.
āI mean, no. Theyāre just all I have in terms of whatās normal for sex.ā
āOkay, so let me make sure I understand this right. You lack a sexual drive. You feel guilty that you lack sexual drive because you believe you donāt have a good enough reason to not want sex on a regular basis, and you think that youāre not normal. Does that cover it?ā
You winced a bit as it was all laid out on the table for you. Your eyes squeezed shut, trying to hide from how pathetic you sounded. You sheepishly nod in response.
āY/n, open your eyes for me,ā his voice spoke gently, coaxing you to slowly flutter your eyes open to look into his. Once he had your gaze, he went on, āThese are all normal feelings to have. I can blab on and on to you about how our society is blatantly misogynistic when it comes to sex, but Iāll spare you the details since Iām sure youāre painfully aware. Weāre going to figure this out together, alright?ā
You took a deep breath, letting his words wash over you as a security blanket. It was nice to have someone to just talk about these things freely to. You felt a glimmer of hope shine through.
āOkay,ā you said with a small nod, feeling more confident now.
āSo, you mentioned earlier that you're recently married. Tell me a little bit about that."
You try not to have a physical reaction when Nanami brings up your husband. It was a topic that felt too raw.. too close to home. Youāre supposed to be a dutiful wife, right? So, why would you feel that way when talking about your husband?
āOh, uh⦠well,ā you stammer, looking away from Nanami as you suddenly came up blank on your own marriage. āWe got married about a year ago. Some say weāre still in the honeymoon phase, butā¦ā
Nanami perks up a little in his chair. Some therapists take notes or record their sessions. Nanami doesnāt believe in it. He thinks it takes away from the moment. Heād much rather be present with his client rather than jotting down notes.
āBut..?ā he urges you to go on.
āBut⦠I guess it just doesnāt feel that way.ā
āWhat is your idea of the honeymoon phase? What does that look like to you?ā Nanami asks, clasping his hands together in his lap as he relaxes into his chair.
You take a moment to process his question. What does the honeymoon phase look like?
āFor me, it looks like the movies where couples do things for each other without being asked. Theyāre attuned to each otherās emotions, and they make a conscious effort to be sensitive to their partnerās feelings.ā Your eyes meet Nanamiās once again, and you let out a deep breath. No one told you that counseling would be this mentally strenuous.
āOkay, what about in your current life? Do you feel like thatās how it is now?ā
You nearly laugh from the question. You mentioned that sort of love being in movies because youāve never seen it in real life. Youāre nearly convinced that it doesnāt happen in real life, and anyone who claims to have that type of love must be lying.
āNo, I feel like weāre both focused on our own lives⦠We just happen to also be in a marriage together.ā
āThat doesnāt seem like an active partnership,ā Nanami responds as he searches your face thoughtfully. He can feel his heart ache for you. This is by far his least favorite presenting problem to work with because he canāt just tell you that you need to leave your husband. All he can do is inspire you to seek the changes you need. āWhat are you focused on in your own life right now, y/n?ā
You feel the tension set in your shoulders and neck as soon as you hear that question. Just thinking about what all you have to do is enough to stress you out. āFor starters, I work full-time. Itās a standard corporate job from eight to five, but it can be a lot.ā
āThatās not easy, y/n. Just because that is whatās considered to be standard, doesnāt mean itās easy. Iām sure thatās a lot on your plate.ā His voice was low and calm. His presence felt so warm in the room; you feel like youāre finally able to open up a little.
āYeah, I guess youāre right. I also take care of the house and our pets.ā
āThe housework⦠is that all your responsibility?ā Nanami asks as his eyebrows knit together slightly. He feels like heās already scratching the surface of why you donāt have any sex drive.
āYeah. If I want him to do anything, I have to delegate the work to him. My husband always says to just tell him whenever I want something done, and I should be grateful that heās willing to helpāā
Nanami couldnāt help himself. He doesnāt like to interrupt clients often, but the more you talk about tour husband, the more heās having to hold himself back. āThatās the bare minimum.ā
Youāre slightly taken aback, and you look away from Nanami. A part of you knows that heās right, but⦠you didnāt want to bad mouth your husband. A large boulder of guilt settled into your stomach.
āTell me what youāre feeling right now,ā Nanamiās voice returns to that gentle tone. āThat probably wasnāt appropriate for me to say. I apologize.ā He knows he shouldnāt have said that, and he knows he has to appropriately handle this if he wants you to feel comfortable enough to open up again.
āI guess I just⦠It feels wrong talking negative about my husband to another man. It just feels different when Iām ranting with my girl friends.ā You straighten your posture and take a deep breath. It feels good getting that out in the open.
Nanami slowly nods his head. He can see why you view that act as troublesome. āSo, youāre feeling tense because of our opposing sexes? Tell me. Does your husband know where you are right now?ā
āWell, yeah⦠He was honestly the one who told me I needed help since I donāt feel any sort of sex drive.ā
Nanamiās teeth subtly clench together, but he keeps a stoic expression as best as he can. The thought of your husband claiming that thereās something wrong with you absolutely repulses Nanami.
āHow does that make you feel?ā
Your fingers twitch a bit as you look down to the ground. You should be honest with Nanami if you really want the help that you came here for.
āI guess it makes me feel like Iām not good enough for him. Every time we have sex I try to cater to him, but it just feels like itās never enough. If he had it his way, weād probably have sex everyday, but I just donāt have that kind of time, energy, or desire.ā
Nanami feels his chest tighten while he listens to you. This is why he hated working with this presenting problem. This man is ruining your confidence and self-esteem, and your low sex drive is either completely natural or itās because of him.
If Nanami could show you what it was like to be truly loved, he would. Then, youād probably open your eyes and see that your husband is the one who isnāt good enough for you.
He shakes those thoughts out of his head. He knows heās bound to a code of ethics. He canāt pursue you romantically or sexually. Itād be morally wrong.
āThatās heavy.ā He nods, allowing silence for reflection. He then speaks up again after a pregnant pause, āLetās break down what you said sentence by sentence, okay? First, you have said that you feel guilty and not good enough in terms of sex.ā
You slowly nod, still avoiding eye contact with Nanami. Why didnāt anyone tell you that this would be so emotionally exhausting.
āDo you put a lot of pressure on yourself to perform?ā
That question alone opened up the floodgates. Tears bit into your eyes, and you covered your face with your hands. āAll the time,ā your voice cracked, betraying how deep this affected you.
āOh dear,ā Nanami says softly. He grabs a box of tissues, and he hands them to you. āSex is meant to feel natural and progressive. Itās understandable that you donāt feel any drive if youāre constantly pressuring yourself.ā
You nod as you take the tissues, dabbing your eyes gently.
āI just,ā you let out a deep shaky breath, trying to calm your nervous system. āItās easier to just do it and get it over with rather than to hear him ask multiple times.ā
Nanami clenches his jaw. His hand gently finds your shoulder, and he makes you look up at him. āListen to me. If you take nothing else away from this entire session, take this. Asking multiple times even though the answer was clearly a no is coercion. Whenever he asks multiple times, heās hoping that you get tired of telling him no and just give in.ā
Your eyes meet Nanamiās, and your eyebrows furrow a little. Coercion? No.. no, that canāt be right. Heās your husband. Heās just asking to make sure you hadnāt changed your mind. He wouldnāt coerce you into anything you didnāt want to doā¦
You slightly pull away from Nanami. āI donāt think thatās right⦠He wouldnāt do something like that. Heās not abusive.ā
Nanami leans back. He chides himself internally for going in too deep too quickly. Heās grateful that youāre giving him grace right now. You definitely couldāve just left the session after he blatantly told you that your husband was a conniving piece of shit.
He takes a deep breath. āI apologize. I must have it wrong,ā he says as he regains his posture. He knows he needs to make you understand. āWould you like a cup of tea?ā
āOhā? Uh, no.. no Iām okay, thanks.ā
āAre you sure? Itās good tea.ā Nanami leans in slightly, not breaking eye contact with you.
āYeah, Iām sure⦠I donāt really think I can stomach it..ā you respond, confused as to why he was suddenly wanting to make you tea.
āTea is good for digestion. It might help your stomach. You really donāt want any? I can make it quickly with an electric kettle I bought the other day.ā
You slouch back a little, a frown covering your lips. āI mean.. I guess tea would be okay.ā
Nanami then gives you a knowing look, and the realization hits you. āDid you actually want the tea, or were you just going to accept the tea because I kept pestering you?ā
Goddammit. This therapist is good.
Taglist: @theuniversesnepobaby @airandyeah
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fanfic#fanfic#jjk suggestive#jjk fic#jjk au#jjk nanami#nanami fic#nanami x y/n#nanami x you#nanami x reader#jujutsu nanami#nanami kento#kento nanami#kento x y/n#kento x you#kento x reader#jjk angst
1K notes
Ā·
View notes