Tumgik
#my writing has the same problem as my art
loupy-mongoose · 2 days
Text
SUICUNE!!! :D
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Here, if anyone's interested. They released Gouging Fire and Raging Bolt at the same time, but Suicune Walking Wake is my one true love <3 Although Raging Bolt's plush face is weirdly adorable. I may end up getting both of them later.
He's such a baby I love him!! Super soft and high quality! I expected him to have the same posability as other big plushies, but I also expected him to be a little bigger than he is. I mean, look how itty his face is!!
Tumblr media
And his little hands!! He holds them so shyly, it's cute! (Even though my in-game boyo is Brave natured, lol)
Tumblr media
He's got pants!
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
And his mane is entirely connected by points of being sewn on. No complaints, but the temptation to (temporarily) remove his mane is stronger than I wish it was. XD
Also, through this boy I learned that Walking Wake has a single set of stripes that are asymmetrical.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I thought it was a misprint at first, but turns out it's an actual design element in-game!
And while I'm at it, I'll also update on my creative endeavors.
I've still been chugging away at writing, but I've noticed a "problem" that writing has that comics haven't presented in the same way; As I'm writing, I keep going back to tweak earlier chapters to better fit later chapters.
While it would make for a better reading experience overall to do the same for comics, I feel can get away with posting comic parts as I finish them and not worry too much about how they tie into later comics. (Minus certain arcs that I have been drowning in thoughts about, lol)
But with writing, I'm more hesitant to post parts as I "finish" them because I don't feel they're actually finished.
Sooooo... I don't know when I'll actually start posting the story. XD
I also haven't felt much like drawing, and I want to have art to go along with parts, so that's holding me back a bit as well.
Like last time, this isn't an apology or me asking for permission, it's just me putting the state of my creative things out there. ^^
73 notes · View notes
drenched-in-sunlight · 20 hours
Note
"Marika becomes the sum of all the Fromsoft girlies" is nice but you forgot Nashandra who actually has parallels with Marika! Recommending to check it out, she's cool!
let’s get this out of the way now… I love DS2, I think the vibe and gameplay is immaculate and I’ll defend it as a whimsical and enjoyable videogame experience till the end of time.
But my god, I hate how they handle female characters in that one 💀
In fact, I don’t like how they handle female characters in DS franchise in general. It got a bit better in Bloodborne and Sekiro and especially AC6, but overall ever since I started playing Fromsoft game in 2020, my main gripe with them is they only have 2 tropes to shoehorn their female character into: helpless victim of a system that would mangle and exploit them OR serious sword lady. And if I’m being real, it’s the main gripe I have with Elden Ring base game too?
I didn’t discuss it on tumblr because back then I were still trying to keep this blog art-focused, but when the game came out in 2022, I did express my concern on twitter that I found the female characters cast… strangely lacking. Because I went into the game expecting Ema-level of writing (literally Sekiro’s Ema is one of the best female characters Fromsoft has ever written to this day I could and have talked ppl’s ears off about her. And I’m glad she on her own is very different from Marika. That means they could at least write 2 more types of female characters now the bar is on the floor but I’ll take it and cherish what I have), but it felt like they got reset back to DS franchise with ER base game.
(This has an added layer of me being a girl born, raised and lived in a Sinosphere country that is entrenched in Confucius values just like Japan, so yes I do understand and experience firsthand the underlying culture values that shapes their writing. Hell, I live and study postgraduate in Japan for 2 years too).
But we are going off track, this is about DS2. Now, my problem with DS2 is, see, with 1 or 3, the female characters either have very little agency or no agency at all. And it just…. be like that. The male characters are somewhat the same, so it really doesn’t bother me that much. The cool, unique, not sexualized design is enough. But 2?
2 has a lot of female characters…. who either play no role in the world setting or sinister figures that charm men and bring ruins to kingdoms? What?
(Before anyone says “but Lucatiel—” Lucatiel is the beacon of light in that game, yes, but at the same time her purpose centering around her brother is… also a problem I have with the way they handle Malenia’s story. My Fromsoft experience has lore to it as well jfc)
Like, it’s just ??? to me half of those women have no agency or backstory whatsoever apart from being the Dark’s daughters that would bring doom everywhere they go??? You can say everything wrong in DS2 world is their fault and I actually wouldn’t have much to argue. Actually, it’s interesting you bring up Nashandra because I do think Nashandra has parallel in Elden Ring. But not to Marika.
Nanaya.
That’s who reminds me of Nashandra in Elden Ring. Literally the mysterious, lowkey nefarious lady and her old man husband with questionable dynamic DS2 trope 🧍‍♀️ you can actually see that in their name too.
If I have to pick a character in DS franchise specifically to make parallel to Marika, it’ll always be Gwynevere. Because I honestly think it’s amazing they took a character that has the least amount of agency they’ve ever created, and turned the core concept of her (warmth, healing spells, sunlight, mother, daughter, queen, faith) into another character with actual good writing.
That’s why I didn’t include Nashandra in my previous post. Not because I don’t know about her. It’s because I know.
55 notes · View notes
bucksdaffy · 2 days
Text
Oliver Stark's Social Media Activity
I’m not sure why I’m writing this. I’m not even certain if I’m supposed to think about it in such detail. My goal is not to psychoanalyze Oliver (though I’m aware that this is what I am going to be doing in some way). I don’t know him personally, and I don’t know his thoughts. I’m missing a lot of crucial information that is necessary to explain the way things are, so ultimately, I’m going to make many assumptions.
That being said, I’m not here to excuse or condemn Oliver’s behavior. I’m not here to tell you how you’re supposed to feel regarding his social media activity. I’m here to offer a perspective—a perspective that is ultimately my personal view and makes sense to me, but can have no bearing on Oliver’s reality.
This is going to be a long post. I wanted to gather my thoughts before the premiere because I feel that quite a few of my assumptions will be proven either right or wrong as season 8 progresses. I want to return to this post and see how accurate I was about certain things, so this post is mostly for my future self. You don’t have to read it!
Preliminary context
Oliver Stark is an actor portraying a character named Evan “Buck” Buckley on the TV series 9-1-1. As of Season 7, Buck was confirmed to be bisexual after experiencing his first same-sex kiss with Tommy Kinard (played by Lou Ferrigno Jr.). After the episode aired, Oliver expressed excitement and pride in portraying a bisexual character on several occasions, both in interviews and on his official Instagram account.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
(x. x. x. x.)
Oliver has also spoken positively about (Buck)Tommy and Lou in his interviews.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
(x. x.)
Oliver also recently uploaded a video to his Instagram story, reiterating how proud he is to be part of bisexual representation on TV. (x.)
So, what's the problem?
Many supporters of Buck’s current storyline with Tommy feel that Oliver is not as enthusiastic about it as he previously claimed, due to his silence on the matter on his official Instagram account.
After episode 7x04 aired, Oliver made an effort to like a couple of BuckTommy fan arts on Instagram. He also vaguely mentioned in a comment section that his favorite scene with Bobby in Season 7 was the one where Bobby, among other things, approved of Tommy as Buck’s partner, and he only interacted once with official BuckTommy content. Beyond that, there hasn’t been much else. At the same time, he seemed more engaged in sharing stills of Buddie (the fan-favorite pairing of Buck and his heterosexual friend Eddie) and liking some Buddie-related posts. I want to stress, though, that this, too, wasn’t a frequent occurrence.
As filming for Season 8 continues, Oliver hasn’t posted, shared, or liked anything related to (Buck)Tommy or Lou, even though it is known that Buck and Tommy will continue their relationship into Season 8. Fans have found this especially upsetting, as Buddie shippers use it as ammunition to suggest that Oliver doesn’t enjoy this storyline and would rather it finish quickly, projecting their personal feelings onto an actor because it’s easier that way. After months of constant harassment from Buddie shippers towards anyone showing support for Buck and Tommy’s relationship, it is quite disheartening for fans to realize they are on their own and that the actor involved doesn’t care to call out the problematic behavior of such a vocal portion of the fandom.
Oliver's history with the fandom
In the past, Oliver was active on Twitter, interacting with fans, reading their theories, and replying to their tweets. However, that is no longer the case. Oliver deactivated his Twitter account on May 22, 2021, following this series of tweets:
Tumblr media
Here is some further explanation for why that happened.
Okay, what are you getting at?
Well, I guess here’s my perspective on this.
I think Oliver has spoken beautifully about Buck’s storyline, which began in Season 7. Although he has primarily emphasized Buck’s bisexuality (which is great—Buck’s sexuality isn’t tied to one person), he has also spoken positively about (Buck)Tommy and Lou, as mentioned earlier. He has never spoken ill of them, either officially or casually. We can also see how smiley and comfortable he appears around Lou in the Access Hollywood interview they did together. Overall, there’s no indication that Oliver harbors any negative feelings toward Buck’s current love interest or the actor portraying him.
I do, however, share the fans’ frustrations regarding his silence on Instagram. It is certainly disheartening to see Buddie shippers “rewarded” for their absolutely vile behavior toward anyone enjoying Buck and Tommy’s relationship. It’s especially frustrating that their behavior is not being actively called out; they continue to be unabashedly cruel because, aside from fellow fans, no one is there to criticize them. No message is a message, and Buddie shippers interpret this as an endorsement of their behavior, allowing them to feel comfortable spreading homophobic rhetoric.
This was particularly evident when, just last night, Oliver spoke out against people shipping him with Ryan. It reinforces the notion that he is aware of the comments being made on his Instagram and that of the show, yet he chooses not to comment on certain topics. I believe fans of Buck and Tommy's relationship have every right to be upset about this. Being selective about what you choose to call out sends a message, whether intended or not.
That being said, I personally think it’s still too early to jump to conclusions. I believe there are several factors at play regarding why Oliver doesn’t speak up about Buck and Tommy on his Instagram. During Season 7, he wasn’t even sure if Lou would extend his contract for the next season. It’s possible he didn’t want to make any kind of statement on something he wasn’t sure would last—which, in my mind, is completely fair. Given his concern about being accused of leading fans on, I’m not surprised he would choose to remain silent.
Additionally, as 7x06 ended with Buck and Tommy still together, and 7x09 opened with them still in a relationship—much to the disappointment of Buddie shippers—Lou began receiving a significant amount of hate online. Not only was he threatened, but his family was targeted as well. Following the end of Season 7, he withdrew from social media, and as of the premiere date, he still hasn’t returned. The filming of Season 8, particularly the big opener disaster that is about to unfold, has also been kept very hush-hush, along with the main characters’ personal storylines. Only recently did we receive official confirmation that Tommy would be back.
To me, it’s a no-brainer why he didn’t address Buck and Tommy’s relationship until the new Season 8 interviews. Furthermore, I believe he’s being respectful of Lou’s decision to stay away from social media (at least during this hiatus), just as everyone else working on the show has respected it. We’ll see if anything changes as Season 8 continues to air.
I also wouldn’t disregard the possibility that he might be protective of Lou, especially given the hate that all of Buck’s past love interests’ actresses have received. He may want to avoid exposing Lou to that kind of negativity—at least on their official Instagrams—keeping things relatively hate-free (though I won’t comment on whether I think that’s effective, but you can probably guess my stance). I believe this is also a valid reason for not promoting Buck and Tommy’s relationship much on his social media.
There’s also the point that Oliver is not responsible for the fandom’s behavior. Yes, his silence on the matter may encourage cruelty from the Buddie side, but Oliver has repeatedly tried to talk sense into them during interviews and while he was still active on Twitter. Unfortunately, those efforts didn’t help. Just like Tim Minear calling them out for sending him death threats didn’t yield any results. Sometimes, speaking up isn’t enough.
But hey! What better way to convey his perspective than through how the storyline of Season 8 unfolds? The fact that Oliver does not object to acting alongside Lou and that Buck and Tommy’s relationship continues into Season 8 should serve as sufficient proof that he’s fine with it. Yes, actors don’t decide on storylines, but they do have a say in them, and we know that Tim Minear doesn’t force anyone to do something they don’t want to do. I’m also confident that Oliver will continue to positively discuss Buck and Tommy’s relationship in his interviews. What he does on his Instagram account doesn’t and shouldn’t matter; it has no bearing on the show.
If my assumptions are correct, I believe that as Season 8 progresses, we will see Oliver becoming a bit more open to interacting with Buck and Tommy content on Instagram. To be honest, I don’t see any reason not to, unless things eventually go sideways or he truly doesn’t care about the Buddies’ hate (in which case, yikes). However, if he cares but still doesn’t speak up in one way or another, I can’t lie—I would feel a little disappointed. I value authenticity and the importance of speaking your mind while not allowing others to trample on your boundaries, and, it's probably my fault, but I currently hold Oliver to a high standard. It would be disappointing to me, to say the least, if someone didn’t adhere to these values. I do acknowledge that this is just my perspective, though; I don’t speak for the entirety of the fandom—I speak for myself.
That said, I wouldn’t blame him if he decided to turn off or limit the comments or even got a social media manager and stopped engaging with any content, whether it be Buddie or BuckTommy. Honestly, for his peace of mind, I actually wish he would. I’d prefer any approach over being selective in favor of a loud portion of the fandom that engages in harmful behaviors.
All in all, the prospect of Season 8 makes me hopeful that we will see a change. However, if we don’t, let’s remember what matters most: the show itself. Ultimately, that’s how we, BuckTommy fans, are being rewarded—by having canon. That's what truly counts.
29 notes · View notes
rebeltigera · 2 hours
Note
Haiii!! I got question:
Do you have any head-canons for mk? Mac? Wuk?
And what is your personal opinion on season 5?
I am responding second time because the first one didn't send :'D
Pls end me.
I don't remember the headcanons I've mustered out the first time damnit -
*sigh*
Those are general ones , I use the design of the character most of the time to show headcanons
For MK
-He's wasted after one beer.
-his tail subconsciously curl against legs of his friends or person he trust
-he chirp subconsciously
-he don't like bitter things like dark chocolate
For Wukong
- he got thick , strong curly fur . When fluffed up texture it reminds of the dust brush
- his body temperature is much higher due to the furnace punishment
-gets headaches due to the circlet (phantom pain)
-he speak and read fluently ancient Chinese , however he got problems with modern language
-he usually sleeps with lil monkeys around
-he can't get drunk.
-monkeys take care of his fur
For Mac
- his ears are too delicate for piercings. They would hurt.
- thin , straight/wavy fur like smoke . He can't stand cold
- he can always hear past and present but future is randomly whispering to him
- he got lower body temperature (due to the shadow nature)
- when drunk he looks like a beast but he's a snuggly wuggly teddy bear
-he takes care of his fur regularly himself
For Mei (because it's lacking in other categories and I don't remember more :'D)
- When she fights she tunes into imaginary music in the background. Like Gwen from spiderverse 2
About S5
*sigh* Vent warning. not directed at anyone in particular
I am unable to put up presentable opinion on this season
Also warning to everyone that will read it
If you are here to defend/ you are touchy on subject of S5 please avert your eyes.
The season was mid at best. , script was rushed, the core of it was S3 with meek antagonist, the most evil character there was a bug demon with many eyes, and SACRIFICE was basically word for this season.
Other things I remember from it is a burnt dumpling and Nezha's mech. Oh and Wukong being useless, Mac carrying season on his back , MK being even more stupid than usual. A random guy with a pagoda and a Twink snake. Nothing else .
Let's put my opinion about the animation now :D
Flying Bark got sacrificed just like MK in this season lol
The animation was a pure nightmare, it's like Seven deadly sins Incident
And if you guys think it will get much better from that in one year (let's say for example they will produce another season next year) you live high on copium and delulu.
Our juicy yummy frame by frame animation was taken away and they gave us RAGDOLL animation.
What does it mean? -AND HERE TUMBLR DECIDED TO CRASH ON ME AND IM WRITING IT 3rd TIME :D- you know how hieroglyphs are animated? Ye, that's basically it with extra steps! HOW FUN. NOW WE HAVE PUPPETS 2D. A FREAKING GACHA FROM YT IF YOU MUST. THOSE IN SOME CASES ARE EVEN BETTER ANIMATED THAN OUR SHOW ITSELF BTW. This has it's perks! I guess. It's cheaper and easier to make episodes! :D the cons are we will no longer see good battles in the show. yay "But we saw Wukong vs MK! And snippet of Wukong vs Mac fight!" please, spare me. If you are telling me those were good fights , that is half assed animation they have no idea how works and two dots clashing with eachother you should go rewatch other seasons. the fucking disgrace and audacity.
But no matter. That i can live off, that i can gulp down.
YOU KNOW WHAT I CAN'T? THE SHEER AMOUNT OF MISTAKES ON BASIC LVL IN ART. I am sitting here looking at those colors, those lines this fucking scenography and ask- what a fucking newbie did this .
YOU CAN'T EVEN GET COLOR RIGHT
Tumblr media
AND BEFORE ANY OF U F NERDS WILL COME TO ME AND SAY "UUU ACTUALLY ITS LIGHTING FAULT-" NO ITS FUCKING NOT.
THEY CAN'T EVEN USE SAME COLORS AS IN THE PRIOR SHOT , THEY CANT EVEN SAMPLE IT PROPERLY . BETWEEN THOSE SHOTS NOTHING CHANGE THEREFORE THE LIGHTING IS THE FUCKING SAME
IF YOU DON'T DRAW , AND HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT , JUST -
Tumblr media
we have a shiny wukong here
Tumblr media
What is this scene , please someone can explain to me the scenography of this
Tumblr media
Why this perspective is wrong, the shading, the lack of lighting
Here characters don't even stand properly
Tumblr media
WHAT IS WITH THIS AWKWARD SCENOGRAPHY ?
Tumblr media
WHY THEY ALL LOOK OUT OF PLACE. AND IM NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT THIS SHADING BECAUSE ITS SHIT.
HAVE THEY MISSED LIKE ALL BASIC LESSONS IN ART SCHOOLS? OR SOMETHING? LIKE THIS IS A JOKE. NO WONDER PEOPLE THOUGHT TRAILER WAS FAN MADE.
Tumblr media
Now this- this is just hillarious.
Just add to it some dramatic intense sound effect and we have another nightmare.
The voice acting was great tho
22 notes · View notes
telleroftime · 3 months
Text
You know what? Screw it, I'm writing a Takuma x Reader oneshot tonight. Don't care if it's bad or too shallow. I have a vague idea and it might not be good but this man deserves more SFW fics. And if anything I'll write some better right after.
1 note · View note
petitepatateuwu · 3 months
Text
It's way too hot and I am way too tired to do any more efforts, so excuse the critical lack of quality here.
Tumblr media
If you didn't know, Cole is my favourite Power Ranger :D
And while I was binge watching Ninjago I had the pleasant surprise to see him physically and mentally traumatized in season 5 😈
And since I'm a huge sucker for angst, my brain immediately thought of developing that idea in order to hurt my beautiful baby boy some more. That and also the fact that my brain immediately looks for logic in the laws of cartoon physics (I really shouldn't do that...)
So I bring you the "Cole is a Ghost Kind-of-Saga". I still have a few more ideas to exploit, notably adressing the ways the other ninjas will help him cope with his new condition :3
And maaaaybeeeee a small comic too 😇
Anyways, I will let my brain rest a bit for now and sleep.
142 notes · View notes
pretendthisisaname · 3 months
Text
Sure hope this isn't some kind of foreshadowing
Tumblr media
31 notes · View notes
coyotetatertot · 11 days
Text
Tumblr media
Promotional for Tate's company in my interp of A Better World AU.
Tumblr media
FULL TEXT BENEATH THE CUT‼️‼️
God, I love exploring what he can do if he hadn't suffered through his father abandoning them and then YEARS of caretaker burnout as he tried in vain to heal his dad. What if he hadn't learned to fear his intellect and skill. What if Appalachia hadn't been cut out of him by being raised in the Bay Area. What if his abilities and cultural identity were both nurtured and encouraged by loving parents and a strong educational support system. What then. 👁️
I think he definitely still has his issues, because public figures often do lol. Fame causes so many problems. But fuck if I don't wanna let this lil scruffy genius out of his mental cage of repression, burnout, and depression. I think he's wild, enthusiastic, and has so much heart and spirit underneath all those layers of bullshit. 30 years of suffering and he is in his 30s, the divergence of the AU puts him on a radically different path from childhood and that makes him a TOTALLY new person.
On the highest peaks in the world, the strongest tethers aren't your rope, but the emotional ties which unite your climbing team and keep you connected to those waiting for you back home. Whether it's by blood or by choice, Tater Higgs McGucket understands the importance of family. Son of revolutionary inventor and co-founder of the Institute of Oddology Fiddleford Hadron McGucket, Tate describes his father as his closest friend, collaborator, and mentor. In collaboration with family friend and other co-founder of the Institute Stanford ("Ford") Pines, the three first designed their renowned supplemental oxygen delivery system after an expedition studying anomalies in the Himalayas.
"Our investigation took us to Camp 1 of Manaslu," Tate described in an exclusive interview with Mountaineering Monthly last week, "And I was shocked by the amount of traffic. This was some of the roughest terrain on the planet, but we saw more people out there than on some of my hiking trips back home in Oregon. . . Ford was our interpreter, and after talking with the locals, we realized that there were all these companies selling tickets to the top — with sherpas puttin' themselves on the line just to ferry tourists to the summit."
The influx of inexperienced climbers has had disastrous consequences, as Tate witnessed firsthand. "A lot of these people, they're physically and mentally capable of makin' that kinda climb, but maybe they don't follow best practice. You can summit without any oxygen, if ya stop and acclimatize along the way. But that takes a while, so it can be really temptin' to ignore your body and throw an oxygen bandaid at the problem. But then you're puttin' yourself in an emergency situation if it fails. While we were there, one of those climbers ran out, and a sherpa had to run more oxygen up there. I told him there was a storm a-comin', but he went up anyway. And we ended up losin' 'em both."
Tate's growing twang was underscored by a nervous bouncing of his leg, and he took a moment to collect himself before resuming the interview.
"Dad and I had a look at these open circuit breathing apparatuses. While they were reliable, we saw they were plum wasteful. Knew we could make somethin' better. There's a growin' culture of risk-takin' 'round them mountains. And maybe we cain't stop the industry that's causin' these problems, but we can at least make it safer for them climbers. 'Cuz at the end of the day, regardless of what ya think about these people? With an accident like that, there’s people left behind that're a-hurtin' somethin' fierce. Partners, friends, kids without parents. I mean, just the thought of losin' my dad like that is enough to break my heart — but that's reality, for both the families of that climber and the sherpa who died tryin' to save him. . . Naw, I reckon we can do better."
That was how the youngest McGucket, who had become a household name in the 1990s for his work in designing personal computers with his father's company, first ventured into the world of alpinism. But what he hadn't expected was to fall in love during the process.
"I always needed nature," he explained, "I get overstimulated awfully easy, and so I go out there to clear my head. Been hikin' and fishin' since I was a kid. . . And so, after workin' with climbers to test this equipment — I saw a lot of them eight-thousanders up close, right? And one day, I just knew I had to see it from the top."
But having become familiar with the dangers involved, Tate knew that preparing himself for such a climb would be no easy task.
Luckily, he found a trainer in Ford's twin brother, Stanley Pines.
“Stanley is a stand-up guy. Real old school. Throws a hell of a punch, catches a hell of a catfish.” Tate said of his mentor, “He’s a fighter. So I knew I needed him, because all it takes is one slip up or act of god for these expeditions to turn life-or-death. And he’s been great. Neither of us knew much about rock climbin’ or mountaineering before all this. But we’ve learned together. And having summited a few eight-thousanders now, I can tell ya, I wouldn’t be here without his help.”
Also aiding in his expeditions were his prototype real-time weather and vital monitoring systems, which have since become standard issue in all McGucket brand protective wear. But Tate is most proud of his high-frequency beacon system, which allows climbers to communicate with their partners and first responders — even from inside perilous crevasses.
"The danger of avalanche or serac collapse is real. There are times when your life just ain’t in your own hands. Our systems allow climbers to communicate when they’re entering or exiting a perilous area, and can send out an SOS. They’re also constantly pinging, so in the event somethin’ does happen, they’ll help your climbing partners or first responders find you.”
But high altitudes aren’t the only place you’ll find the twin peaks of McGucket Mountaineering. Tate’s inventions have seen heavy use by first responders of all stripes, from firefighters to wilderness search and rescue — and he has recently signed a contract to manufacture respirators for medical use.
"At the end of the day, it’s all about making it home safely.” Tate concluded, “You gotta prioritize what matters most. You can do incredible things in this world, but none of it matters if you can’t share them with the people who love you.”
12 notes · View notes
suddencolds · 5 months
Text
~
#delete later#another journal entry 📝 for the void#i have not been sleeping well for the past 2 wks 😵‍💫 i always wake up like clockwork after 5-6 hrs which feels like not nearly enough#i feel like i've done everything there is to do (consistent exercise + consistent sleep times + earplugs + weighted blanket + no caffeine)#last night i took melatonin too but no... same problem staying asleep 😭#ahh whatever. i'm just frustrated that it has to be this way :(#anyways in an act of spite i reread like the 4 wips that have been sitting in my drafts from the past few weeks#i think something that will never cease to surprise me about writing is that more effort/time doesn't necessarily translate to better#results; i suppose that's the case with all kinds of art but#it does feel somewhat unintuitive. one of my fav professors in uni said to not dismiss those 'lightning in a bottle' moments (in art) as#blind luck... but to instead analyze the circumstances and iterate on recreating them. and i think one of my artist friends who i deeply#respect said something similar (wrt artistic rituals/setup). i have too many thoughts on writing and on my own creative processes and#weaknesses to fit into any number of tags here. :') that said...#*shakes ch2 draft* after everything i did and all the hours i spent WHY are you still so bad?!!! D: i am baffled and frustrated.#and why do i prefer this other [redacted] draft which i hammered out with utterly no regard towards the quality??#anyways. back to the drawing board i guess T.T
25 notes · View notes
liquidstar · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media
a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
23 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
recent things
#With the heatwave combined with being ill for like an entire week it seems I've lost like 16 days this month#where I basically did barely anything... grrr.... The passage of time... My Enemy...#Now that I can finally hold down food and stuff I'm feeling a little better mostly and my sickness has probably passed. But I still#feel weird a little bit like.. some lingering weakness or something. I think I'm just already having so many Problems at all times even in#my 'Normal' state that whenever I get sick or something my whole system is thrown off for a while lol#I'm supposed to be writing like 2000 words a day still ghbjhb... I've had multiple days of maybe 1000 - 1500. And a lot of days#where I write maybe 20 - 300. I've still been chipping away at the same single quest dialogue for all 20 something#days this month so.. AUGH.. Though that also counts the 16 days I did nearly nothing but be sick and overheated#I finally edited that whole big sims video I wanted to post!!! but now there's an issue with it ... T o T#My fault for still almost exclusively using windows movie maker in 2024 lol.. but HHHHhh.. It's like every once in a while randomly#a fully edited video will not be able to be exported. so evil for this to happen to my first sims build tour in a while. but alas..#ANYWAY... I have been slowly working on little things here and there.. in my little scraps of time.. Wishing to be fully productive at#some point. Maybe I can finally finish and post some things soon. like costume photos or sims videos and etc.#BUT HEY.. that solitaire thing is crazy to me.. I don't think I've ever finished a challenge in under 20 seconds#before. huzzah.. tripeaks squad.. OH.. and an image of#curly tail boye.............. he..... I took him to the vet for a check up and he seems surprisingly okay for a 16 year old. except he has#a mild thyroid issue or something so I'll have to give him medicine. But every time he goes in I'm always expecting them to be like#Sorry. Your Son Is Truly Doomed. or etc. so I'm always shocked when he's fine... a strange boy with many strange behaviors#so I can never tell if he's just Being Weird or if he's sick or soemthing ghjbjh#Also the bad thing about never ending summer heat is that when it IS finally cool for a few days. I don't want to do ANYTHING. It's like wh#n it's hot I feel too sick to do anything. And then when it's cooler I'm like 'OUU the first cool day in WEEKS.. i want to just relax and#fully ENJOY the coolness..'' So it's always constant warfare with my body like.. NO ..we cannot SLEEP. We must utilize this small patch#of Non Heatwave to finally be productive and finish things while we don't feel sick. But then it's like ''ohoho...to lay in the cold air of#the morning restfully.. i shall have a little nap with a blanket on for once.. perhaps.. tee hee'' Always at war with the Tired Sleepy#it seems. AAAANyway...... grr............ slowly finishing things. still usually missing my target writing goals..#Hopefully will have some actual art or costumes or something to post soon. Fumbling through the summer weather as usual lol
5 notes · View notes
sweetvalentinescandy · 2 months
Text
im so disappointed in my art lately . im not a beginner artist, but i feel like everything i do looks like i am . i feel like it would only be acceptable for a beginner . i havent made any progress since i was 11 . today is not a good day
#artist problems? except i barely even count as an artist atp#non serious vent sorry#i dont usually textpost because i much prefer just sticking it in the tags and hoping i forget about it#but i dont have anything to post. i literally have not been able to make anything at all.#does any other artist feel like this?#i know everyone says they feel like this but i cant decide if its comforting or condescending#all the other artists say “oh i hate my art!” when their art is good because its just the artists eye or whatever its called#and on one hand its comforting because everyone hates their art#but on the other hand its so discouraging because if you hate your art so much#how does mine look? how bad is mine?#i dont like talking abt weed bc its kinda weird for a 14 year old but i feel like the only times i can draw without crying -#- is when im high#i dont know i need to take a break or something#might focus on writing but everything is just so frustrating to me lately#i cant promise literally anything anymore because everytime i get excited to create its just GONE so fast#becaus i cant like anything i make#i keep searching for some kind of art advice that will actually help but i never can figure out how to apply it#and most of it is just “keep practicing!” as if i havent been practicing since i was 8 years old#i feel like at this point i have to just start all the way over but i dont even know how#at this point i would rather art regress than keep churning out the same mediocre garbage ive been drawing since 2022#and its not even that im pressuring myself to draw. its that all my art has just looked the same for so long and im so frustrated#i literally cannot draw anything without crying anymore its really upsetting#anyway sorry for the negativity on main :( this blog has kinda become my diary and im just an overdramatic teenager or whatever i dont know
2 notes · View notes
lohstandfound · 3 months
Text
ignore this.
learning to shut up when i dont have anything new to say to the discussions my mutuals are having about the treatment of the female characters in this show and fandom
even though ive just gone ahead and rambled in the tags a bunch of bullshit
#lohst.txt#they're all so right#because this fandom has had problems since the beginning#its always about the boys#the fics and the art and everything#and the fact that a large portion of this fandom is obsessed with the squip. the ACTUAL villain. yet would wish a 16 year old girl death#yeah. chloe did some fucked up things. yeah. dywh is an awful situation that was not handled well#(because this show has awful writing. you guys have been saying that already and youre right)#but come on. y'all act like the other characters did nothing wrong#if the writers would have cared to put actual depth into these characters#i havent listened to the source material in. a while. and i never got around to watching any other boot other than two rivers#i dont know what im saying#it was so easy to join bmc rp servers because no one ever picked the girls#did that mean i was left out of the rps? mostly. yeah#i mean. those servers always had the same rich and jake so we'd team up#but the jeremy and michael would barely give room for anyone else to interact with them#i used to have some discussions with someone about the flaws of this show and how the girls are constantly ignored#(back when i had sort of dipped out of the fandom)#anyway im never one to get involved in discourse directly#i support my mutuals and reblog art and post my silly little fics#mostly because im always too tired to put a lot of thought into any in depth analysis#(even though i have alot of thoughts on chloe and fairytales. which has nothing to do with this whatsoever)#everyone else has said it so much better than what i can currently come up with rn#but the way that the girls get watered down to one personality trait (this includes madeline). and are always used as background characters#the way there was so much christine hate at one point because she got inn the way of boyf riends#i looked chloe up on pinterest the other day out of curiosity#and there was so much hate#everyone likes christine and brooke#theyre the nice girls#the ones that get watered down to innocent and naïve and the mum friend of the group
6 notes · View notes
lucalicatteart · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
A character reference sheet sort of thing for the main character of the Poll Adventures, drawn more in my usual style (taking a picture of messy pencil sketches then coloring it digitally lol) rather than the cutesy ms paint style of the daily poll images .. there he is.. the adventure boy..
#paventure posting#sketches#I haven't drawn for real in a long time.. I forget how much I dislike coloring lol#I think if I did Neat Digital Art Lines that you can color in with the fill bucket tool it would be different but#since I can only really draw on phyiscal paper with a pencil and then just put that on the computer the lines are all too#messy for that to work. So I basically have to color it all coloring book style which is tedious#Honeslty I really like... physical art. like sculptures. and I like pencil and pen sketching . But I really dont like#most digital art at all. The exception is in MS paint for some reason. I think because I can use the bucket fill tool lol#and the pixelly lines give it some texture still. My main problem with digitial art lines is that they don't look like pencil on paper they#'re too “clean” like no scratchy messy texture looking stuff. Which I know you can use different brushes. I've tried. it just doesnt#have the same feel to it. ANYWAY.. Definitely need to practice more hjbjhb.. my anatomy and drawing fabrics and stuff#has gotten much more wonky than it used to be I think. but I've just been focusing so much more on writing#than drawing. Or only drawing the occasional sketch that goes along with writing (like worldbuilding stuff)#aside from Ms paint stuff I probably haven't really DRAWN like a full body sketch or face#or anything like that in maybe a year or more. yoink#OH ALSO i know his boots are different now because the poll voted to give him new boots ghjhbjb#I drew this before then. I actually thought more people would vote for the coat ToT#I wanted to draw him in a cool robe or something and have that be an addition to his outfit#instead just the shoes change. which aren't even visible in all drawings :(#A little purple outer coat. his favorite color. But alas.#And yeah the string that laces up his main tunic coat thing is technically like a tan yellowy sort of color but I usually#just draw it as black because it's easiest. especially with ms paint and doing really thin lines#also his hair is a little ridiculous and doesn't translate well from chibi type image to realistic but I tried gh.. the bangs lol...
15 notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
Text
...
#well. today was a nice day of not doing anything but drawing really. theres an au where i went to art school and am a happier person lol#except not really bc im sure my head would ruin that too. anyway. its a shame i have to return to the pain tomorrow. i have so much to grade#plus a paper to write plus data to work with. a protocol to figure out. and an exam to study for and a final project thatll kill me#god. i also have to get ready for lab Monday. christ. and what shall i say to my therapist Tuesday? well we could try to tackle the deep set#looming issue that prevents me from getting better in our tiny 50min session or i could be like listen. just fucking listen. let me give u#the case 4 and against me having adhd so i can stop feeling fucking nuts. just like give me feedback. ya kno?#it would b inattentive bc im not hyper unless im losing my mind and bordering on hyp0mania. but my focus is something i cant control#executive functioning has always been a problem but now im so worn down im in danger of actual consequences. and its not just things i dont#wanna do. im not just anxiously avoiding. i cant start tasks and stick with them. i flip back and forth and get nothing done. i spiral#sometimes for hours. im not doing anything fun im just not doing anything. frozen in anguish. i dont even wanna think abt how much money ive#lost by not filling out reimbursement sheets which arent hard to do. theyre easy i just never do them. why??? i dont fucking kno. but im not#forgetful. im thinking constantly abt these things. i just cant make them happen. theyre stuck buffering. i do have memory issues tho#my short term working memory is like that of a literal child. so i cant follow complex instructions. i constantly need new info. constantly#need sound. spoken words plus music at the same time. but the main reason i need an answer to this is the reading issue. which is that im#dyslexic but also my thoughts r like an interfering frequency. without realizing ill b thinking and not reading. its a problem no matter#what im reading. its severely disruptive. i will physically read out loud to try to hold my attention in place and still get distracted by#my own head. do u kno how frustrating it is to read something aloud 3 times and not know wtf u just read bc u arent thinking abt anything#interesting u would rsther b reading but u can't fucking pay attention long enough. genuinely if its not adhd and i cant get medication to#fix my focus issues i dont kno wtf im gonna do. im so bad at reading and its extremely frustrating. but is it just dyslexia? idk what i#described doesn't fucking seem normal or like a reading problem. sounds like a focus issue. so riddle me that#idk ive got adhd on both sides of my family plus my focus fluctuates with ny hormones plus homones possibly induce hyp0mania. like i mean#ive got other issues which make a diagnosis difficult to parse but like i feel like that's decent evidence for possibly adhd? my friend said#she was always worried she had a brain tumor before she was diagnosed. to me ive always felt like my brain is full of holes. im missing the#parts that would let it operate correctly. the frontal lobe is just fucked. ugh. i wonder how much accommodation i could get from the#disability office if i actually went to them. i wont bc im fucked up and i dont think they could actually do anything for me at this stage#but alas im curious. ugh. y do i do this to myself? i kno y but not enough time for that in 50min. bad attitude mostly. half my brain#just craves death. the other half is just trying to tread water but its hard with someone trying to drown u. so its all fucked#unrelated
6 notes · View notes
emdotcom · 1 year
Text
Hisuian Zoroark is one of the sickest designs in pokemon, but the model on that bloke is FUCKED. It's really bad. If they bother to port her over to other games, you know they ain't changing that model, either, 'cept to make the textures paler & duller.
I continue to despise pokemon, despite being a pokemon fan, I fucken guess. At this point, I gotta go all in on summat else, like Cassette beasts.
#gale chatter#i have MINOR problems with the beasts but they are nothing + I ain't abt to be negative abt it online#it's a good game made by good people my complaints are so tiny you NEED to play it#if you like me wish pokemon would do more fun interesting things or miss spritework in ur pokemon#u need to try cassette beasts. I'll admit i haven't beaten it but what I've seen in the story is INSANE#also i generally try not to talk smack about indie games it just ain't right. biggest ip on the planet‚ however‚#i can talk shit about pokemon all damn day.#the fucking way they keep using the same models the most minimal of animations & the pokemon keep getting pale as shit#to the point that pokemon like pichu are fucken impossible to tell from their shiny (slightly paler pichu)#the way that the designs are done in 2D & designed in it but then when it comes time to model they just. lose all charm#you get designs that were obviously not intended to have full 360 turnabouts (h. zoroark & emboar)#then you get deisgns that lose all their charm when modeled. in example -- look at the boltund model next to the art.#it's. bad. those are different animals. i feel NOTHING for the boltund model. it has no heart nor care in it just a means to an end#the gameplay never changes the sories have ALWAYS been lackluster they introduce cool ideas every other gen & ABANDON THEM#SO YOU HAVE A REASON TO BUY THE NEXT ONE BC IT HAS A NEW IDEA. MEGA EVOS WHAT'S THAT? DYNAMAX NOW.#the way they slice up the games to have exclusives SPECIFICALLY to piecemeal them back to you in 2 different games#so you either need to buy both (THAT IS 120 DOLLARS) or pay for online + have a friend. it has always been predatory.#it's. BAD.#& let's not pretend that 1/2 the lazy work is because the workers HAVE to be lazy. they pump these games out so fast that#nobody has time to write & revise & rewrite the stories which is fucking GLARING when you play sword or violet#in violet it is blatantly obvious they had the end planned first & then made up the rest as they went but had a hard time#connecting it back to the end so there's a noteable rush in the game & it sucks also if you call that game nonlinear i will attack you#IT ISN'T. IT IS DESIGNED SO THAT YOU NEED. TO GO IN A SPECIFIC ORDER. BECAUSE OF THE LEVELS#otherwise you'll hit a lvl 60 gym at lvl 40 then have to go back to fight the lvl 40 gym at lvl 70#the studio rushes their workers & it results in sloppy implimentation of halfbaked mechanics & poor deisgns & writing#i pray that if there is a god that nintendo actually does slow down on these shits i would like the games my little cousins play#to not be such fucken rushed & undercooked hot garbage. fuck you
9 notes · View notes