#my self-esteem is too high now lmao

[confinesofmy]

finally went to the trouble of getting sims 3 & 4 downloaded on my steam deck and got literally about ten minutes in before i realised i'm not fuckin running that shit on my steam deck lmao. it's not fun enough to justify running the fan that much and heating it up like that for even 4 hours. even bg3 runs better. people have killed computers with sims games because they heat your shit up so bad. i'm not doing it to a device i value. so i guess i'll delete them now lol. 🥴

[bizarrelittlemew]

the saddest line in the trailer

at first I was too distracted by Stede's plunging neckline and gold earring to fully realize why this kept nagging at me but:

"I've been a failure my whole life."

and the way he says it:

as a matter of fact, because he fully believes it – it's an integrated part of his self-image

to comfort someone else (presumably), meaning that even though it is sort of similar to Ed's "I'm not a good person" from s1e6, this scene doesn't seem to be about Stede getting comforted – he is just throwing that line in there

with the follow-up line of "It's not so bad once you get used to it," because he is used to being called a failure by everyone around him, even when he was a kid, so much that he doesn't question it

and yeah, Stede fucks up a lot and can be a bit air-headed/naive and overestimates his abilities (Stede's super high confidence vs. shit self-esteem is a central part of his character), often to the detriment of himself and everyone around him, but his biggest "crime" growing up was simply that he was different and didn't live up to the norms of masculinity. and this is what caused him to be made to feel like a failure by the world around him.

(putting the rest under the cut because I have a lot to say apparently lmao ⬇️)

idk it is just so sad that after everything that happened at the end of season 1, he still echoes his father's and the Badmintons' words when talking about himself (and his own "I'm not a pirate, I'm an idiot" from s1e1). he still has a lot of growth to do.

and while it's good that he embraces his own shortcomings (and I hope he stays a loser in many ways <3) and the show reinforces that you don't have to be perfect to be worthy of love/that you are worthy of love just as you are, it is just. idk SO SAD to hear him say that about himself so earnestly

but do you know who doesn't let Stede self-deprecate?

THIS GUY, FROM THEIR VERY FIRST DAY TOGETHER

from telling Stede he isn't such a terrible pirate (at least he's alive), to not letting Stede call his own ideas stupid, Ed likes Stede for who he is WHILE not letting him talk bad about himself like that.

now we can't know who Stede is talking to in the scene in the trailer, just that it is someone with long dark hair:

and it could be someone else (to me it doesn't look quite like Ed's hair, but the quality/lighting makes it difficult to tell), but if it IS Ed, it has the potential for him to (once again) go against Stede's negative self-talk 😌

I am so interested to see how this scene plays out and I REALLY hope we get a scene mirroring the bathtub scene (even if it's not this one) but with the roles switched ✌️

[toadallytickles]

NEST 2024 + Gatherings Going Forward (again)

Attended my 4th NEST this year! This is just a quick point-form summary as I’m still dropping and wanted a write-up before I fly out this weekend to see my moms!

Perhaps I wore my “tickle me I’m cute!” shirt on Friday- and perhaps it got me pinned and gang tickled by 4 friends UGH- I haven’t been gang tickled since last June which is WILD honestly. Kinda hoping wishing this June it happens again 👀

Learning that it’s okay to let people touch me. 🙄😒 From my past writing “AUNT 2024 + Gatherings Going Forward,” I shared that I’ve denied myself from playing with friends until everything felt perfect, but recognized that I set the bar way too high and that maybe I just fear that “awkward first session” because I’m really awkward with touching and this fetish. At NEST this year I’ve allowed friends I’ve met and connected with at previous gatherings to tickle me in the con-spaces to break that touch barrier in a fun, familiar way for everyone. I also let myself engage in pick-up sessions with friends to get that “awkward first session” out of the way! I had to reassure myself throughout the weekend that it was okay that they were touching me, and they were touching me because they wanted to~.

My nesting partner is choosy about the gatherings he attends as he wants to focus on those he has connected with already, and can find gatherings overwhelming at times. This NEST made me feel similar- I want to continue attending gatherings, and I love meeting new people, though going forward I’m going to focus on regular attendees and friends I know from previous gatherings. There are a lot of regulars and mutuals I would love to get to know better and potentially play with- I’m just really awkward and don’t know how to approach people, and in turn I feel I accidentally give off a closed-off vibe. I would like to be part of my friends’ friend group, I just don’t know how to integrate! NEST going forward, I would love to volunteer and help out more to continue making the gathering the best it can be!

Oh, I had my first Wawa experience! I tried their Caramel Cookies and Cream Frozen Cappuccino, IT WAS SO GOOD, Starbucks Frapps could never. definitely kept me up way past my bedtime! 😋 Also the mascot is a (Canada) Goose because Wawa was originally a dairy farm in Wawa, Pennsylvania, and the Ojibwe word “we’we” means “Snow Goose.” Now I need a Sheets experience~.

I got to try out @ticklingduck's vibrating tickling rods! @mister-ttt and I did record content including them! They are like a small Pursonic (without it stopping after 2 minutes~)! 😏 I also BOUGHT ONE!! 🎉 @ticklingduck's socials: Etsy, Twitter, Tumblr.

Wore my Geurdo Link cosplay on auction night, even though I was not participating in the auction, and I was extremely shy so I just sat in the audience and didn’t really show it off LMAO!! (Still editing the tickle video featuring this cosplay, previews are in the NEST Server and on my OF~).

I’ve had the literal pleasure of forming a play partner dynamic with a local friend, and he has really built up my confidence, self-esteem, and has helped me be more self-sex-positive. It was exciting to carry that sex-positivity into some sessions this weekend, and I learned that I really like being consensually sexually violated by friends.. 🥴💦 don't look at me.

This weekend really validated my growth and boundaries. Finding this gathering somewhat personally hard to navigate because I wasn’t meeting my exact wants (a me-issue, not NEST's), that helped me recognize that I’m not the same person I was at my first NEST and other 2019 gatherings, and that I’m truly growing. I wasn’t able to navigate NEST like I did in 2019, so now I know I’m on the right path and know what I’m exactly looking for.

And finally on the last day of the gathering, I’m sitting in the lobby in my lazy travel fit, not showered, sporty wind-breaker, capris, my glasses, pink paw print socks + sandals of course, and a guy I’m pretty sure was not part of the NEST group asked me if I was “Kyle-“ and there were other men around. I say no, and guy just wanders back to where he came from. Assigned Kyle at NEST. I have not felt gender euphoria in a long time. 🥹

anyway, the end. looking forward to the next gatherings~

[kittievampire]

So long/odd request but hear me out

Mc and Lucifer are in a sugar-rotting relationship and brothers and undatebles react

Lucifer spoils Mc so much like…mammon gets in trouble he gets hung from the ceiling Mc does the same thing they get away scot-free Satan has been begging for a cat for eons nope! but Mc wants one of course. He gets them tons of expensive gifts and if Mc ever wants something they only have to bat their eyes at him. It's not like Mc is using him though they dot on him a bunch too. And whenever they get in a fight loud moans are followed within a few minutes (if you know what I mean) but feel free to ignore 💙

I was in the middle of class when I read this and I was WHEEZING

I am a firm believer in Lucifer spoiling the MC rotten and leaving his brothers to fend for them damn selves but denying any sort of favoritism

I only did the brothers this time, I hope that's okay 😭😭😭

Sorry this took so fooking long to make 🥲

Lemme see what I have in my bag, my dear~

Click here if you wanna request!

Warnings: Very suggestive, jealous bros lmao L

Enjoy.

You and Lucifer had been dating for a few months now. Though, one would think you'd just gotten together with the way the two of you treated eachother. Or maybe that you were newlyweds in your honeymoon phase.

Lucifer treated you like a goddess. There was constant praise and worship, he'd drop everything if you asked, and he'd spoil you rotten with his love. You would return the favor, of course. Every now and then you'd surprise him with a new cursed vinyl, which he'd listen to all night if not spending it with you.

However, the brothers believe that you're getting totally unfair treatment.

Mammon

Baby boy was spending a lot more money than usual

He was playing a new gambling game he'd downloaded on his D.D.D.

When Lucifer got home, he immediately scolded the second-born for a solid 45 minutes

He announced that Mammon was on "lock-down" and wasn't allowed to ask anything of anyone, nor was he allowed to spend money

He was hung from the ceiling

And Goldie was taken away, too

Mammon was pissed the fuck off

So, when he noticed you were spending a lot more money, he did tease you for being greedy

"Oi, human, ain't splurgin' on shopping supposed to be mine and Asmo's thing? Lucifer's gonna be on yer ass if ya spend too much. Just be careful."

He says this and is genuinely a little worried that he'd see you hung from the ceiling as well

Lucifer confronts you about it in front of Mammon

"My Love, may I know why you've been spending so much grimm recently?"

First off, Mammon didn't like how he started that

How come you got that sweet conversation starter?

What he got was, "Mammon, what have you been wasting your money on this time?!"

Though, he still suspected it'd go downhill, and that he'd need to jump in to protect you at some point

"Oh, just some things... I can't tell you what they are, but I promise this is a rare occasion, Luci." You said, gifting him a kiss on his cheek

Lucifer smiled at you. "Alright, as long as you're being responsible, I trust you."

...

WHAT?!

"WHAT?!" Mammon shouted, earning a slight jolt from you and a look of annoyance from Lucifer

"What, Mammon?"

The Avatar of Greed froze. "I-I-! Y-You—" He paused before letting out a small groan

"Nevermind. Forget about it, yeah?"

Leviathan

Snekboi missed roughly a week of school and wasn't attending his online classes

He was grinding this new game he got so he could keep his spot as one of the top players!

He just couldn't afford to take his attention off of his D.D.D. for a second, the price would be too high!

Of course, Levi ended up being scolded by Lucifer

"Your priority must be your studies, Levi, do you intend on dragging Diavolo's name through the mud?"

How Diavolo was relevant was beyond him

But, Levi still had to sit through a lecture

He also got his D.D.D. taken away from him for a week

Not only did he lose top-spot, but he lost a majority of his self-esteem as well

So, he was obviously worried when you started skipping as well

"Uhh, MC, I'm not sure you should stay home today. Lucifer's not too kind to those who slack off."

But, his warnings fell upon deaf ears

You decided to take a few days off, deciding that you just really didn't feel like going to RAD

You woke up with a migraine one day, couldn't get sufficient sleep the other, and you just took another day to catch up on sleep and what work you had

Leviathan actually tried to stop Lucifer when he saw him outside of your room

"Lucifer, maybe they were feeling really bad or something, I don't think punishing them is a good idea, please show mercy! They're just a human!"

"Quit your whining, Levi. Or do you want to be given the Mammon treatment?"

This made Levi yelp and cower behind him, watching as Lucifer knocked on your door

You answered it, and Leviathan bit his nails nervously

"Hey, Luci," You said, greeting him with a small kiss to the cheek

"My Love," He started softly. "Are you feeling alright? You haven't been attending your classes. Is something wrong?" He asked, a hand reaching up to caress your cheek.

Error 404 not found

Leviathan.exe has stopped working

You smile sweetly. "I'm okay, Lucifer, I just really wasn't feeling up for RAD these past couple of days. It's nothing to worry about, promise!" You say, quite enthusiastically.

...

NANI THE FUCK?!

Levi SWORE you were about to get bodied

But, no

Lucifer just smiled, chuckled softly, and left with an "Alright, take care of yourself, Love."

Bullshit

You're fucking hacking

Satan

Satan wanted to bring a cat into the HoL

Lucifer reminded him of how he brought more cats than were allowed and "turned the House of Lamentation into the House of Cats"

Very fucking salty about it, but ultimately got over it (for the most part)

He saw you bring a little feline home and immediately rushed to your side to help you take care of it

It was a stray with a few wounds from other cats

He helped you bandage it and feed it, all the goods

"MC, I must warn you that Lucifer isn't exactly fond of pets... Let alone cats," Satan said, stern gaze meeting yours

You tilted your head in confusion. "Why is that?"

Satan was a bit hesitant to tell you, so he gave you the shortened and sweet version

"We had a bit of a cat problem a while back, he just really doesn't like cats. Dog people, am I right?" He scoffed

"Satan, what did I say about bringing in cats?"

Satan lowkey jumped a bit and turned his head

The fuck did he come from, bro is teleporting or some shit

You immediately hold the kitty close to your arms, looking up at Lucifer with doe eyes

"Luci, I'm sorry! I was the one who took in the cat, but he was hurt! Please, can we just keep it for a little while, at the very least?" You begged, the black cat in your arms meowing at Lucifer

Satan sighed. He was about to tell you that it was no use, that Lucifer couldn't be bought or reasoned with on this topic. That may have been his fault and he was sorry, but there was absolutely no way Lucifer would budge on this-

"Fine."

...

...

Um

What

Satan sat there dumbfoundedly before the two of you as you continued to converse, trying to process the events that had just taken place

Lucifer said yes

To you

For a cat?

Huh...

He was upset for a mere moment, but then a light bulb went off in his mind

Perhaps he could use this to an advantage

Satan's definitely going to try and get you to be a wild card whenever him and Belphie are pulling pranks on Lucifer

Just so the eldest will be a little more lenient

Now he knew Lucifer's weakspot

He found himself laughing maniacally in his mind as he realized just how much him and Belphegor could do with you as a cushion whenever they'd get in trouble

Asmodeus

"But, Lucifer, all of products in my favorite cosmetic brand are going on sale today! I have to get every single one of them or else I'll be..." Asmodeus gasped

"Trashy!!" He cried out, practically leeching off of Lucifer's arm as he continued to beg

"Asmodeus, no! You and Mammon are both on lockdown for the rest of the month! Now, get off of me!"

Lucifer managed to pry his younger brother off of him and slammed ether door shut to his office, leaving a near-on sobbing Asmodeus in the library

That's when he heard you

"Lucifer, must you always be so rough on your siblings?" He heard you ask, making him gasp and sigh dreamily. "Oh, darling, you always come to my rescue when I need it!" He said, his voice not loud enough to penetrate the door

"MC, I suggest staying out of my family matters. They have nothing to do with you."

Asmodeus could tell from the other side of the door that an argument was likely about to ensue

However, when the two of you started raising your voices, he could also sense some... Arousal?

"Oh!"

"Oh."

It wasn't long before he could hear your moans and whimpers from the other side of the door, lewd slapping noises making him step back a bit

Asmodeus couldn't help but giggle a little

He honestly didn't mind this as much as his brothers did, he found it really entertaining that the two of you endulged in his sin after such a heated argument

Asmodeus approves 👍💖

Beelzebub

Poor baby gets scolded so often for raiding the fridge, especially late at night

He's usually told to go to bed, and that these late-night trips to the fridge aren't good for him, all that

He couldn't help it, it was his sin! That was no fair!

Lucifer ended up putting him on lockdown after 11pm, meaning no trips outside of his room whatsoever

Beelzebub would usually try to get some snacks into his room before that time, but he usually ran out rather quickly and was left with a rumbling stomach

That's when you came in, holding two arm-fulls of snacks

Quietly, you pushed the door closed with your foot

You knew Belphegor was a heavy sleeper, but you still wanted to be quiet anyway, so as not to wake the Avatar of Sloth

You saw the gluttonous ginger perk up when he saw you

"MC?"

You smiled, dropping down the snacks before him

"Lucifer didn't say I couldn't raid the kitchen. I figured you'd be hungry, so I got you some snacks."

Bro bear-hugs you

He lowkey almost breaks your spine with how tight he holds you

"Thank you, MC! Can I call you sister, please? Get married to him quick so I can call you sister!"

You blushed at this comment, chuckling softly

"I'm working on it, I guess," You choked playfully, patting his back

"Beel, I need to breathe."

Not really all too jealous

A bit sad, but he gets over it when you bring him food

Lucifer never says anything about it tho when he finds out you're the one who's causing such a snack shortage

Belphegor

He was constantly scolded for pulling all kinds of pranks on Lucifer

There was that time he threw his D.D.D. in the trash, lit his coat on fire

All harmless things

So, when he catches you attaching a can of whipped cream to... Something in the fridge, he immediately raises a brow at you

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"Ahhh, just setting up a little surprise," You chuckled out

At first, he thinks it's for Beelzebub, but Asmodeus had taken him shopping with him earlier with the promise of free food afterward

"For..." Belphie trailed off, hearing footsteps nearing the kitchen

Immediately you close the fridge and take your seat in front of a plate of food you'd made yourself earlier. "Sit down," You whispered to the Avatar of Sloth

As he shuffled to a seat next to you, he realized what you were up to and put a hand over his mouth

Lucifer walked into the kitchen, greeting you and the youngest with a smile and a "Good morning."

You picked up a piece of the pancakes in front of you with a fork, putting it in your mouth and humming to yourself. "Luci? Could you pass me the butter?" You asked softly

Lucifer nodded, turning and opening the fridge

Immediately, whipped cream sprayed all over his face, some falling onto his chest

Belphegor bursted into a fit of laughter, immediately giving you a high-five and wiping a tear from his eye as he clutched his stomach

"Oh, that was good!" He choked out in between laughs

Lucifer turned to look at the youngest, wiping off a large portion of the whipped cream on his face

"Belphegor, did you do this?"

You snickered beside him, looking up at Lucifer

"I thought you'd like a snack, Luci~" You hummed out, giggling softly

Belphegor mentally prepared himself for a 45 minute lecture

There was a pause, making him shift a bit in his seat as his laughter died down

Suddenly, Lucifer began to laugh

It started out small

Then, his laughter boomed in the room, bouncing off of the walls

"Huh,"

This confused the fuck out of Belphie

Like, ummmm what

"You've gotten me, MC, well done. I needed that laugh." He said, walking over to you and wiping some whipped cream off of him, putting it on your nose

He dismissed himself, saying he was going to wash this off of him

Belphegor was silent for a moment

"Hm?"

"You get laughter and boops after pranks and I get lectures and scoldings... Favoritism at it's finest. The Anti-Lucifer League could make use of this."

He'd explain more, but he was getting too sleepy

Shit was fun asf to write, thanks for requesting

I hope you enjoyed this, anon!

[kwop-kilawtley]

Bella’s depression months/suicidal tendencies/ hallucinations in New Moon are not “romantic,” sorry. It’s just horrible how traumatized she is. Imagine being a 17 y/o girl who never dated anyone and the first person you date is a mythical creature who essentially is the idea of perfection. It knocks down your self esteem even more, makes you feel embarrassed for not being enough and then after you almost died at the hands of others of his kind, he leaves. Leaves you for dead.

How is it romantic that she now sees no worth in her own humanity? That she deems life useless without him. Then Jacob comes along and makes her see life can be good again. She falls in love with Jacob naturally and effortlessly. If Edward and Bella were truly “fated” and “meant to be,” Bella wouldn’t be so in love with Jacob the way that she is. Jacob is the only person who truly understands her and he would do anything for her. He would protect her and keep her alive.

Bella choosing Edward is literally suicide and allows her to be stunted, to not fix her self esteem issues. Yet this is supposed to be romantic somehow?? The text literally leads you to believe that Bella will grow and get out of her depression with the help of Jacob. And he totally could have because she could’ve been open about the vampire secret since he knew about them too. It only makes sense in my mind she chose him. She actually has fun with him, he understands her personality better than Edward, understands her mind better than Edward. Their love is so intense that she even says she may have actually chosen Jacob if she hadn’t known what losing Edward felt like. She was so deeply traumatized by him leaving she couldn’t even bear the thought of having to heal. But she almost did. She could have.

The fact Bella cannot let Jacob go all throughout Eclipse even after Edward comes back is proof that she’s not fated to be with Edward. Literally no matter how many times I read these books I will never see it that way even though her narrative wants you to believe that in the end. Like sorry but having cutesy quotes and ogling over his physical perfection every second without there really being true reason behind it, just doesn’t hit for me. They were together for mere months and she’s already talking about “I want to be with you forever.” Like yeah that was me in high school too with the first person who ever gave me attention. I didn’t know any better tho. Now pair that with someone who literally hypnotizes humans lol.. yeah she didn’t stand a chance. Yet her lack of autonomy is romantic? Gross. She even says “it’s like Sam & Emily, I never had a choice.” How does anyone find this romantic LMAO.

If Bella had no feelings for Jacob and he had no good aspects of him and he wasn’t trying to keep Bella alive the whole goddamn time then no one would be for Jacob. But she literally is in love with him, it’s just not “magical” bullshit love. Which doesn’t even make sense for her btw. She doesn’t have any development whatsoever. Vampirism is just her bandaid and Jacob and the entire wolfpack are done dirty.

She tries to die and hear voices of her ex who abandoned her yet that’s romantic lmfao. New moon is legit based off of Romeo & Juliet, a tragedy where they both die. Bella & Edward simply shouldn’t have had a happy ending. Naturally it doesn’t make sense that they do, which is why breaking dawn is such a shit show. Because their relationship just doesn’t make sense and only harms them and everyone around them.

& before anyones like “it’s just a fantasy stop analyzing it wahh” no <3 these books shaped my way of viewing relationships as a teenager and it should be talked about how harmful some of the messages in the series are.

[thegreymoon]

The Story of Minglan

I have so much work to do, it isn't even funny, and here I am, doing none of it. So, instead of just sitting in front of my computer and letting anxiety eat me up, I'm going to see how married life is treating Minglan.

I have three shows that I am actively watching right now. It's a battle to choose which one to watch at any given time. The struggle is real 😫

***

Well, he's feeling energetic the morning after 😅

***

LMAO, OK, so I know that the implication here is that he has great stamina and wore her out, but, honestly, my first thought was that she must have been doing all the physical work of their first night together, so she's now tired and he's up and about doing acrobatics 🤣🤣

***

LMAO, I'm on her side here!

Sleep above all!

To hell with the shitty in-laws.

***

What a thing to tell your newly-wedded wife!

Yikes 😬

***

LMAOOOO 🤣🤣

Hopefully he, ahem, learned other skills at the brothel instead 🤣🤣

He's so fully of nonsense, I cannot 🤣🤣

***

Ugh, these vipers.

The sooner they move out, the better.

***

Who?

***

AGAIN, WHO??

Honestly, my stance for this drama is that anyone who wants to commit suicide should be allowed to 🙄

***

Wait, is she implying that Gu Tingye is sleeping with this woman?

Because, seriously? SERIOUSLY??

Now they are straight-up lying to stir up trouble in their marriage! AND THIS IS, LIKE, THE FIRST DAY!! 🤬🤬

Minglan, don't be an idiot. Don't believe them!

***

Oh, and the lot of you are soooooo worried about how some random servant who is sleeping with the master of the house is going to live 🙄🙄

I cannot with the what-the-fuckery on display here 🤬🤬

GU TINGYE, WHERE ARE YOU?

THIS IS SLANDER!!

***

Even if any of this was true, WHO GIVES A FUCK??

OK, so, personal story time. Skip for TMI, or something. IDC.

When I was nineteen, I was living away from home for the first time in a dormitory and I had these roommates. I was a very stupid, naive, sexually inexperienced, frontal-cortex-still-entirely-udeveloped nineteen. I was studying architecture, the hours were ridiculous, the living conditions were atrocious (and I mean no hot water, communal toilets for the entire floor, no privacy whatsoever, perpetually drunk, eternally partying next-door neighbours bringing creepy men over, it was absolute hell with no recourse) and I was really, really struggling to keep afloat.

My self-esteem also wasn't the greatest and I'd spent my entire teens feeling unlovable and unattractive because, idk, I didn't look like Naomi Campbel, and was told from numerous sides that being some random average girl was just not enough. My mental health went down the drain that year and it never really recovered. I hadn't been doing particularly great even before that, but it was like that whole hellish mess snapped some final thread in me and it was just a downward spiral after downward spiral for years after that. It took an additional ten years to get diagnosed and put on meds because everyone is just so stupid and when you are young, you don't know how to advocate for yourself, or even that you should be doing so.

And then there were these roommates.

There were three of them, all older than me, and we lived in this tiny twelve-square-metre room with three single beds (two of them had to share because one of them was a friend who was there "illegally" because she had lost her right to accommodation for repeating the year and didn't want to go back to her parent's home for the time being and I was too stupid to put my foot down, report her and tell her to fuck off). The two legal ones were sisters.

And let me tell you, I was so in AWE of them! All three were tall, beautiful, put together and confident! They were incredibly popular and had men crawling all over them. I felt pathetic in comparison. I wasn't jealous, not exactly, I just felt inadequate and held the two sisters on this incredibly high pedestal because they seemed so smart and gorgeous (not so much the friend, because even though she was beautiful too, she had this self-absorbed, self-centred, flighty, shallow character that I just couldn't respect). The sisters, however, were everything I wished I could be, especially the younger one.

That particular sister, let's call her M, was also studying architecture. She was in year four (compared to my miserable first year) and she was doing so well, her work was amazing. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She was the epitome of elegance, intelligence and beauty in my eyes. She could do no wrong. Hero worship was in full swing, I couldn't imagine she could be any more perfect even if I tried.

And then a few months into our hellish living arrangement, I found out that she was fooling around with this worthless guy who was cheating on his long-term girlfriend with her. They had an on-again-off-again relationship. They had broken up before because he refused to leave the official girlfriend, but for whatever reason, she was in love with his mediocre ass and kept going back to him. I was shocked when the whole story came out. There she was, the most perfect girl I had ever known, letting this cheating loser string her along like that. It was gross.

Let me tell you, that pedestal I put her on came crumbling down so fast because even my infatuated, naive, sleep-deprived and chemically imbalanced brain knew this was very wrong (it took me several more years and another incident with a woman I was super close to and had adored for years to teach me not to mess with cheaters and the people they cheat with because they are always fundamentally deficient in some hidden (or not so hidden) ways and that whatever damage they have that lets them act in this way will eventually drag you down too, but I digress).

In my shock, I asked her, why? Of all people, why him? This girl was so gorgeous, she could have had any man on the planet. She said they were in love. And I asked her, if he loved her so much, why didn't he break up with his girlfriend (mind you, the girlfriend fully thought they were getting married sometime in the near future). It seemed so obvious to me, if he truly loved her, he should have ended his previous relationship and dated her openly.

AND SHE TOLD ME THIS EXACT SAME LINE. THIS COMPLETE BULLSHIT OF A MANIPULATIVE EXCUSE.

Apparently, the shitty cheater couldn't break up with the girlfriend because the girlfriend had sworn that if he broke up with her, she would never marry anyone else and stay single her whole entire life. And he, the poor baby, couldn't live with that, so he couldn't leave her 🤯🤯

I had never heard something more ridiculous in my life. It was so absurd, and it was so world-altering for me that this perfect girl, the girl I had thought was so put together and so incredibly smart, was TAKING THIS UTTER STUPIDITY SERIOUSLY. I still remember it so clearly, even after all these years. It didn't make sense then and it still doesn't make sense now. It's the XXI century!! Break up with the woman you don't love!! What the hell is this nonsense?? WHO THE FUCK CARES IF SHE DECIDES TO NEVER MARRY ANYONE ELSE? IT IS NO LONGER YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM!!

Also, all these people were in their early fucking twenties, the absolute delusion that any of her threats (if they were even real and not made up by the loser cheater because all cheaters ever do is lie) were in any way a real and enforceable thing that would come to pass. BUT EVEN IF SHE NEVER DID GET MARRIED? SO FUCKING WHAT? NOT YOUR CIRCUS, NOT YOUR MONKEYS.

And there she was, sneaking around with this garbage man because he gave her this nonsensical excuse. The stupidity is unending. I cannot. I could not and will never be able to can 🙄🙄

And back to the actual show now.

WHO THE FUCK CARES IF SHE NEVER MARRIES? WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT BLACKMAIL IS THAT? FUCK ALL THE WAY OFF AND THEN KEEP FUCKING OFF SOME MORE UNTIL YOU DROP INTO A DEEP BLACK HOLE AND KEEP DROPPING UNTIL YOU REACH THE EARTH'S CORE AND DISINTEGRATE IN THE LAVA.

Ugh.

***

WHO THE FUCK CAAAAAARES 🤬🤬

Also, let's not forget that these are the very people who wanted to murder Manniang and Gu Tingye's actual children with her. They are so concerned with the status of a lower-class servant sleeping with the Young Master and how she will raise her head in public and go on living. So, so, so concerned 🙄🙄

***

Minglan, please tell them to fuck all the way off.

I am beyond pissed.

***

OMFG.

I am beyond sick of these wretched bottom feeders and their "path of survival" 🤮

BITCH, DIE.

***

True! Let's all ask him!!

I am sure he will just love all this slander.

This whole thing is just beyond WTF.

***

What exactly were her parents supposed to teach her?

Just take in some random prostitute for her husband the day after she was married? What the actual fuck is wrong with this woman? Worms for brains, I swear. The audacity is astounding.

***

OH MY GOD, THEN GO DIE ALREADY

I am so tired 🙄

***

This dumb fucking bully.

The best thing that ever happened to women was emancipation and no longer having to live in their in-laws' homes.

***

LMAO, how many statuses do these mistresses that the wife is forced to support even have?

Fuck off with this bullshit.

***

MINGLAN, ARE YOU SERIOUS

***

LMAO, wait, what?

They accused him of raping this woman?

Speechless.

Gu Tingye, please take your wife and fuck off from this place.

***

LMAO, Gu Tingye keeps making good life choices!

Gu Tingye is not among my favourite characters by a long stretch, but I do appreciate him so very much!

Go, king! Protect your wife and stay winning!!

***

Don't you just love it when utterly disgraceful people start blathering about not getting the respect they feel entitled to 🙄

Gross family.

[hear-that-music-in-the-air]

Ada and Ian Headcanons (Rhythm Doctor)

this got Long As Hell i'm sorry lmao. headcanons under the cut!!

Ada:

- We know that Ian is a radiologist, but I think Ada is probably a general practitioner/primary care physician! If she's canonically a cardiologist (bc heart stuff) then that's my bad lmao. But based on what we see in the game, she doesn't really seem to specialize in anything. She instead seems to have a wide range of medical knowledge and we see her treating a variety of different illnesses/injuries, including Mr. Stevenson's broken leg and Lucky's torn rotator cuff. We know that she's been having to do pretty much everything around the hospital bc they're so understaffed, and primary care physicians usually have fairly extensive medical knowledge covering multiple fields, which I think is what allows her to do that.

- One of my biggest hcs about Ada is that she has a very strained relationship with her parents, and that her parents are also both doctors, though I imagine they're close to retirement by now. However, unlike Ada, they both specialize in highly specific fields like brain surgery or something (I actually do imagine her dad to be a neurosurgeon lmao), and because they're both so successful they have incredibly high expectations of her. They look down on her for choosing to be a GP/primary care physician because they think of that work as somehow less important/less worth her time. They're the kind of people who absolutely have a superiority complex about being doctors and ~saving lives~. Also definitely not the kind of people who should have had kids. They're distant at best and extremely judgmental and condescending at worst.

- Ada has one younger sister who's six years younger. Because their parents were always so busy with their careers, Ada basically grew up taking care of her sister, which definitely contributed to her mentality of feeling responsible for everyone all the time. Her sister moved out of their parents' house as soon as possible and is currently attending college somewhere far away, but she and Ada still keep in touch. Ada being an eldest daughter just makes too much sense to me lmao

- I like to think that Ada is an extremely affectionate person by nature. But because of growing up with emotionally distant parents, she doesn't ever really expect for that affection to be returned, especially from Ian who's not very outwardly affectionate most of the time. So when he does go out of his way to express affection it means a lot to her :)

- Because of the way her parents are, I think she kind of has an unconscious mentality of "no one is ever going to love me as much as I love them." She also struggles with people-pleasing tendencies (taking on more work than she can handle, having difficulty saying no to people) and self-esteem issues. So whenever someone goes out of their way to show her love, it kind of catches her off guard lol

- Ada's primary love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation (I'll explain this more below lol). She's REALLY big on physical touch—Ian generally does not like physical touch and one of the only people he tolerates/enjoys it from is Ada. Though I definitely think acts of service is one of her love languages too, as seen in Middlesea College Life. I simply think that she has so many love languages because she's FULL of love

- I imagine Ada as someone who feels her emotions very strongly, and who is generally just a highly emotional and empathetic person. Her empathy makes her good at connecting with the patients, but it also means that she feels everything so much all the time and it can be overwhelming for her sometimes. She’s undoubtedly very intelligent, but I think she’s still very much a heart over head type of person. She also cries pretty easily, though she has to try her best to keep it under wraps at work. The list of movies that make her cry is extensive, which Ian lovingly teases her for.

- Ada is extremely nearsighted and can't see much at all without her glasses. Because of this one of her favorite jokes is saying “I’ve seen enough” and taking her glasses off lmao

- Courtesy of @nightmun: Ada earnestly loves dad jokes, puns, and anything similar. Ian gets her a joke book as a gift once and regrets it immediately.

Ada, incredibly excited: IAN WHAT DOES A LEMON SAY WHEN IT PICKS UP THE PHONE

Ian: …what?

Ada: YELLOW!! *WHEEZE*

Ian: <:)

(this is the fifth one she’s told him today)

Ian:

- Ian’s mother is a single mom and his dad left when he was ten, hence why Ian is currently the only one taking care of her. Ian was also an only child. I imagine he and his mom are very close since it’s just been the two of them for so long, so her illness has really been taking a toll on him.

- Ian is bilingual and speaks Mandarin! I don’t think he has a canon ethnicity in-game (though please correct me if I’m wrong), but I’ve been thinking of him as Chinese Canadian, in line with @pokeblog123’s headcanon that Middlesea is in Canada. I imagine he and his mom speak Mandarin at home sometimes.

- I think Ian probably did robotics and/or coding as hobbies in high school and college! We know that he’s insanely tech-savvy, and he seems to have quite a talent for programming. In that same vein, another one of Ian's hobbies is buying old/vintage video game consoles from garage sales, on eBay, etc. and taking them apart to see how they work, sometimes also restoring them if he can.

- I know this is a pretty popular hc already but I think Ian is autistic/generally neurodivergent lol. I do try to write him with this in mind

- Related to that, Ian struggles with social cues to a certain degree, and subsequently has more trouble connecting with the patients than Ada. His little character card says he’s “better with computers than people” and I think this is probably because people are just difficult for him to read. Computers are much simpler; they’re predictable and generally do what they’re programmed to do. People are a lot more complicated. I do think he’s learned to read Ada fairly well simply because he’s known her for so long

- Ian's primary love language is acts of service/gift-giving. He struggles with physical touch and with verbalizing his feelings so he shows his love by doing things for people instead (which was part of the inspiration for my fic "Helping Hand"). If he goes out of his way to do something for you, that’s how you know he really cares. He's an actions over words type of guy :)

- Ian can be very blunt and straightforward, as we see in the game, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care. We know from game dialogue that he regularly encourages Ada to take breaks and is generally concerned for her wellbeing, and we can also infer that he worries a great deal about his mother. He definitely cares, he just has different ways of showing it.

- Ian normally doesn’t cry very easily and he also doesn’t like to cry in front of other people, but my hc for why he cried at the Stevensons’ reunion is because it reminded him of his own sick mother, who’s been alone ever since his dad left. He’s usually not one to cry in public but that just got to him. I like to think that Ada checked up on him afterwards.

(ACT 5 SPOILERS)

- Although he doesn't really show it, I think Ian probably feels a certain amount of guilt for everything that's happened with Connectifia Abortus, especially now that it's been revealed that the virus originated from the system he created. He knows that the rhythm defibrillator system could put the patients in danger if the virus keeps getting worse, and he's been working day and night to try to fix it. Of course, Edega's demand for a "miracle cure" at the expense of caution and safety certainly isn't helping matters. Given that Ada also needs treatment on occasion, one of Ian's biggest fears is that Ada will get hurt because of the virus (and, he thinks, because of him).

BOFA THEM:

- I think Ada was Ian's first, and possibly only, good friend at college. I imagine they met through their shared classes and Ada was one of the only people who made a point to talk to him. After that she sort of just stuck around, much to Ian’s initial surprise. He had always struggled with making friends and he was hesitant to open up to her at first, but her persistence and genuine sincerity eventually won him over. Now they’re best friends :)

- I've seen other people say that they were probably roommates at some point in college/med school and I definitely think so too. I'm sure they pulled a lot of all-nighters together lol

- Once Ada and Ian became close friends, I like to imagine that she also got to know Ian's mother. She's always gotten along with her very well, and because her own parents were so distant, Ada came to think of her as somewhat of a parental figure. When Ian's mom first got sick and started requiring intensive care, Ada insisted on helping out with anything they needed.

- What I was referencing above about Ada and physical affection: I think Ada might be somewhat touch-starved because of my headcanon that her parents aren't very affectionate people. She craves physical touch and words of affirmation because she never got much of that from her parents. Once Ian figures this out, he tries his best to do those things for her even though it doesn't come as naturally to him (as in like, he’s normally not one to initiate hugs but he’ll give Ada a hug if he can tell that she needs it).

- Ian’s pragmatism balances out Ada’s bleeding-heart altruism, and vice versa. I think over years of friendship they’ve learned to appreciate the other’s perspective and find a middle ground, though of course that’s not always possible in high-stress medical situations.

- Ada doesn’t really understand anything about the online games that Ian plays, but she probably uses gamer lingo incorrectly on purpose just to annoy him lmao

- Unrelated to anything but I think one of their favorite pastimes is hate-watching Grey's Anatomy together and making fun of all the medical inaccuracies (I’ve never watched Grey’s Anatomy but I’ve heard there are many). Despite this they’re both low-key invested but neither of them wants to admit it lol

Anyway I love them. In my mind they are besties who get married for tax benefits. Thank you for your time if you read this far lmao

[assorted-candy]

20 Q's for Fic Writers

I got tagged by @dp-marvel94! Thank you!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 

I've just posted my 22nd work a few days ago!

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

37,763

3. What fandoms do you write for?

So far, all my published fics are for Danny Phantom. It's a fandom that's near and dear to my heart and my favorite to write for. I've written fanfiction for myself in a lot of different fandoms over the years. Miraculous Ladybug, Mega Man (Star Force, Battle Network) and Fire Emblem are a few. (Will these ever see the light of day? Probs not, lol)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?  5. Frayed Ends - 37 kudos - Jazz and Maddie are fighting more often. Jack wants to reach out and help his family. 4. The Same Blood - 45 kudos - Maddie and Jack try to help a sick girl that collapsed in front of their house. They don't know what to make of her condition. Danny wants to help.

3. Returned Home - 49 kudos - Maddie finds Danny at home after he disappeared ten months ago.

2. The Broken Pieces Left Behind - 66 kudos (tie) - Maddie knew what the portal did to Danny. If she could create something that essentially turned him into a ghost, she could figure out a way to fix all of it. Even if she hasn't made any progress in the past two months, she'll keep trying. She didn't account for what Danny wanted. 1 . What's Out of Out Control - 66 kudos (tie) - Danny thought he had it under control. He thought he could finally hang out like they used to always do. Tucker could feel the rift between them widening. It wasn't getting smaller anytime soon.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! There were a few comments from my two earlier fics that I never responded to and it's already been so long and I feel like I ended up putting it off too long to say anything now 😓But I'm so so thankful for all the comments I receive! I never thought anyone would read my work, let alone comment on it. I'm always between two modes of 'author commentary' and 'screaming thank you and running away'.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Lol, I love my angsty stuff and there are so many different flavors of angst, so it's hard to pick just one. I'd say the piece I aimed to write for Angst Fest, The Broken Pieces Left Behind, might be it. It ends on a rather hopeless note for the Fenton family that even I don't know how to make everything better for them

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Home for a Cat. It was for a Ectoberhaunt prompt that I was absolutely stumped on. So I decided someone was going to adopt a cat by the end of the fic.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Ahh, so I actually posted a fic on FFN wayyy back when I was in high school. I remember it being received pretty well but I got a really rude comment on a simple spelling mistake. Back then, I was just told I had dyslexia a few years prior and I had some really bad self-esteem issues tied in with that. So, yeah, that comment basically made me terrified to ever show my work to anyone ever.

It's been over ten years since then and I wanted to actually get over that fear. I impulsively decided to do Angst Fest with the mindset that no one would even look at what I posted. Not only did people look, everyone has been so kind!!!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

lkdajldkf, nope. I get flustered trying to write basic romance and having two characters hold hands, lmao. Major props to those that can, it's definitely a skill that takes time to master just like any other genre.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I haven't.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Also haven't had this either.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope, but it seems like a lot of fun.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Back when the show was airing, Amethyst Ocean (Danny/Sam) was my go to. I'm a sucker for friends to lovers tropes and it's really nostalgic for me. But, I don't really read a lot of shippy things for Danny Phantom, so ships don't make or break a fic for me.

If I'm looking to read romance, the whole Love Square (MariChat my beloved) with Miraculous Ladybug will always be great. Even if I jumped ship on the show around season 2 or 3 and I have no clue what they're doing now, lol.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I honestly have so many WIPs that are unfinished on my computer from over the years. Maybe a super old one that I titled 'Phantoms in the Daylight'. Angst once more with Character Death as the main pain point. I like the beginning but oh boy, does it get sloppy and confusing real quick. I'd need serious outlining energy put into it if I'd ever want to salvage it and I just don't have it in me.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue! Give me two blorbos and I'll make them talk forever.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Scenery and description. I love the dialogue portion so much that I end up running into the floating heads in an empty room problem in the first drafts of my fics. My first round of edits are dedicated to making sure I have a scene and grounding characters into it. And then I have to go back later to make it not feel so robotic sounding.

(Also a weakness but more as in fic than writing. Summaries and Titles. I stare at my drafts on AO3's editor for at least half an hour trying to pull something together, lol)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I can probably talk about this for hours, lol. I absolutely love foreign languages, especially when it comes to linguistics. So, I'll try to be brief, lmao. Short answer: depends on the fic but normally no. I already spend so much time fussing over the word choice/slang/formality/dialect characters use in my native language. I don't have a good enough grasp on another language for it to sound natural to the reader. ("They would not fucking say that" is my internal monologue during dialogue edits, lol)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

It's a toss up between Pokemon and Danny Phantom. I first learned about fanfiction from a friend who showed me FFN for the Pokemon fics. I looked around the site and found all of the Danny Phantom fics soon after and got hooked on those. I started writing around then and it would have been for one of those two.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Hard to chose one! Writing technicality wise, I'm proud of how What Remains on the Table turned out. I consider description my weak point, so the original draft was 0 dialogue with very stiff descriptions. I was able to edit it to really practice my environmental storytelling. (Although, please mind the tags if you click the link as it does deal with the dissection topic)

I'm not sure who's been tagged and I'm not sure who writes fanfic, so @lavendarlily, @fangirlwriting-stories, @grub-xd, @nanaarchy and anyone else that wants to join!

[musicallisto]

and also happy birthday!!!

sending in a 🐚 + i’m bi, I like reading, writing, gaming and yoga, turn ons include pet names and receiving the princess treatment, turns offs include not sticking up for me and being messy

my fandoms from your list are bridgerton and red dead redemption💗💗

thanks so much for running this event it is soooo fun!!!<3

ohhh princess treatment, you say... let me introduce you to the absolute kings of making you feel like you are the very center of the world...

please... you know it had to be him. not only because I'm a strong supporter of the way you write him and think you are the authority on anything arthur morgan related, but also and most importantly because have you seen the way he tends his horse? how gently he talks to her when he strokes her mane? i'm thinking soooo many thoughts and none of them pure

not only that, but he is generally so caring (especially high honor!arthur, who's my personal canon interpretation of him) with those he loves and even strangers who sense the goodness in him. that energy would definitely translate into any romantic relationship, even though he'll need to get over a lot of self-doubt and self-esteem issues to make it work

in a modern AU you'd get him into yoga for sure. i can only imagine how tired and sore all those muscles are from all the hiking around the woods and fixing up stuff in your farmhouse and cutting up wood and—he needs a break, but not one where he feels too idle and therefore like he's wasting time, and especially not one where he can't be surrounded by nature. which is how you convince him to give yoga a try, on a fine dewy morning in your frontyard

he thinks it's a little stupid at first—"how's all that twistin' and bendin' supposed to make me feel better?"—but you're really persuasive and he doesn't mind the sight of you in your yoga clothes either, to be honest

he'd find it really relaxing and a surprisingly effective way to connect with nature and his surroundings, but he'd still groan a little for good measure because he doesn't want to admit you were right too easily. that, and also the poor man is NOT flexible and he is struggling.

pet names!!!!! so!!!! many!!!! pet names!!!! "darlin'" this and "sweetheart" that. "honey" and "princess" and "GOOD GIRL"?!?!,!?,,?? in that deep, southern voice of his? i need to lie down.

of course he'd stick up for you anytime you need it, and even when you don't. he pledges his loyalty to the people he loves, to the bitter end, so he'll always always defend you, even when you're a little bit wrong, lmao, but that's only because he's a beloved himbo and he thinks you're always right and so smart

also this is a little bonus—I considered mary-beth as well, because i think you too would be so so cute and actual real life ladies together &lt;3

ılı.lıllılı.ıllı.

now, if princess treatment had a name and a face... it would certainly bear a striking resemblance to that of benedict bridgerton.

the man is literally so smitten with you, there's nothing he wouldn't do to prove the depth of his affections. expect every grand gesture you've read about in the books; bouquets of your favorite flowers and countless portraits and blazing handwritten letters slipped into the secrecy of your gloved hand at balls.

anthony wonders why his younger brother looks so... miles away, like his whole being rather than just his head is in the clouds (more so than usual), and also why the family's expenses have skyrocketed all of a sudden... but violet discourages him from badgering benedict about it, because she's too elated that he's finally found a lady to seriously court, lol

since you're so well-read, and therefore spirited and quick, as well as artistic and creative, your conversations with benedict are as stimulating as they are witty... and that's not mentioning your correspondence. you could send each other letters back and forth every single day, were it not for decorum: it's already quite scandalous that an unwedded lord and lady are writing to each other personally, you're supposed to at least entertain your other suitors into thinking they have the ghost of a chance with you. which they don't, because it's clear as snow no one compares to benedict's bohemian soul.

it's true, however, that benedict can be quite... messy, asjdfjab, and he's thankful that it's him who visits you and not the other way around because he would Not want you to see the mess that is his studio. but you give him an incentive to start tidying up a little more! because you deserve only the best &lt;3

literally prince charming incarnate with the perfect dash of mystery and edginess to keep you on your toes. what else do I need to say

[clarajohnson]

the magicians s2e8

gosh i did not remember julia losing her shade during the exorcism/abortion that is. that is soooooo interesting.

losing your shade seems to make you an insufferable theatre kid

"no hurting anyone, no casting magic, no sex" oh q you're kind of awful

looked at q's and alice's hands next to each other and felt some feelings. mortifying for me.

MARGO'S PANTS !!!!!!!!!!!!

margo's klepto proclivities are so deeply charming to me

q and margo are sweet friends. "my takeaway lately is that anything can happen at any time, so just be there while you can" :-'''''''( they are so tender with each other

i love when they have extras in the cottage like sorry do you mean to tell me other people are just going to magic grad school with no complications

anyone ever pay attention to the murals on the title card? i just noticed there's a fox on it and is that just for this episode? does it change? should i have been watching this?

julia: if reynard wanted to finish me off he'd have done it by now julia as soon as she leaves the wards: immediately encounters reynard

it's so sad that reynard is so hot

don't wanna say it. don't wanna go here. shadeless julia? hot.

i screamed when q showed up lmao dude

jalph can do anything except play niffin alice he's too babygirl

shadeless julia kicking the rasp up to eleven

q took art history. say more about that quentin.

niffin alice reading about "fixing niffins" vs future alice saying she misses being a niffin... well that is just fascinating.

i remember 0% of the library contract so this will be interesting

wait where are q and kady i like the cds

why did it take penny so long to notice alice in q's head lol

margo's little robe traveling robe >>>>>

hi. so you the nymph?

julia and margo were the best people to do this dryad thing because he says two females and they share this look and you know they've just agreed to cause some unholy terror. and sure julia goes farther than margo probably would've but it shows so much promise for their dynamic i love to see them together.

niffin alice testing q on his alice knowledge all the time. kind of feels like he loved the idea of her more than the real her at the time HMMMM. phosphoromancy. my discipline, idiot.

fen, you too, sweetie. OHHHHHH MY GOD.

margo saying "they don't want me, they want the high king" JUST WAIT !!!!! JUST WAIT BABY I LOVE YOU !!!!!!! also her trembling lower lip oh god i love margo hanson so goddamn much.

time sight viewmaster is SUCH a the magicians thing lmao

dana was a great mom actually huh

i love that the lorians have little harry potter ass wands. nation of lame-os.

my loyalty will always lie with me ohhhhhh shadeless julia you're the girl of my dreams

oh you know stella maeve had to be proud of that smirk she pulls after she explodes the forest

that's stupid. you play too much dungeons and dragons. alice quinn would never play dungeons and dragons.

fuck you pay me !!!! you tell them anglerbeast!

oh yeah gosh waking up and seeing a tiny dead body probably not the best thing for q huh.

friar joseph is so fun i love his little hangout. and i love how embarrassed q seems to be to be casting the boxing spell.

niffin alice still having tenuous self esteem oh aw :-(

bet otd had so much fun playing a niffin also oh man

"everything el promised i'm gonna deliver" yeah fen married the wrong fillory royal

queerplatonic is a fat nothing but i would never even attempt to describe whatever el and margo have going on

penny signing the library contract for magic but also for kady :'-(

"glass jaw, not a surprise"

[r-adiiiance]

WAIT I HAVE MORE SPRRY LMAO

9, 12, 13 & 21 for Wonder

31, 33, 53 & 60 Marya

I am so interested in these two their dynamic is sooooo good

NEVER SORRY IM SOOO EXCITED I LOVE

WONDER

AND

MARYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*wonder is currently auth only but its literally not spoilery at all, i am just like secret lil guy just for me. BUT that means its 100% okay to talk about, bc its fine people know it exists.

this is gonna not make a lot of sense to most of you, and that's okay. I'm talking to my friend fish

WONDER

[9] What is their love language? Gift-giving :D Wonder lovessss showering its partners with expensive presents and taking them to extravagant places. it doesn't expect anything in return, which makes it very amazed when people do try to return the love in that way. its a bit of a double-edged sword too, though. once it becomes obvious that dating Wonder means you'll get a bunch of fancy shit, random people try to get close to it, so it has to be even more careful with who it accepts a swipe right with.

[12] How high is their self-esteem? dirttttttt low. but its aware of this.....its recent moves to remove itself from the public is it trying to work on its self-image. its really tired of feeling subhuman, it wants to love itself again- it wants its hugeee ego back!!!! it wants to be hot and amazing and sexy forever!!!!!! being pink is helping

[13] What kind of sense of humor do they have, if any? Its a very crude, topical comedy sort of sense of humor. Wonder would love Tumblr. it would do numbers on Tumblr.

[21] When they’re sick, would they want others to visit them, or they would rather prefer not to be seen at not their best?

Wonder would prefer not to be seen, its very embarrassed at its state when its sick and fully expects to lie alone in the dark and melt and wheeze until its looking perfect and hot and beautiful again. it hates this form of weakness, but it also just. hates. feeling sick (don't we all, tbh). its not...ASKING Marya to come by and take care of it, but it is really, really nice of her to do so. even though Wonder is pretty ashamed at how needy and miserable they get (even more needy and miserable than usual)

--------

MARYA

[31] How hard it is for them to own up to their mistakes and wrongdoings?

Pretty hard....it was even worse when Marya was younger. she pushed everything down and tried to justify the actions she was taking- some of them justified, yes, but there's always another way. nowadays, she's better on herself. she's learned, she's matured, she knows she's messed up and she's trying to do better. she IS doing better. she's a good person, just not a good mom. she's trying to own up to her mistakes, but it's hard for her to be open about them to others.

[33] What are one of their fondest and most treasured memories?

Definitely the first time her son recognized her.

[53] Do they like to sing and how confident they are with their singing?

She loves to sing!! she's not a trained singer, but she's plenty confident with it. she's a good singer in the sense she gives it all of her chest and she has fun going along to songs on the radio. she loves music, she always has a song stuck in her head and is humming along to it. she really wants to encourage Wonder to sing with her...just for fun!! she promises it'll be fun!!! no cameras!!!

[60] If they were to commit a crime, what kind of crime would it most likely be?

Robbery. her ex-husband's bank account is looking quite delicious right now (she wouldn't...unless? no...no she's being silly! she's laughing.)

[viviski]

Rise of the tmnt has some of the best characterization that I've ever seen. I have some plot related criticism (which becomes unimportant given the target audience of the show, you know children don't notice plot holes lmao) but I can analyze the characters much more than any big shot Marvel or Disney movie I've seen.

So here we go (remember this is my own free interpretation and analysis, I am well aware that I might get things wrong):

Each of them are smart in some ways but dumb in others:

Donnie: academically smart, technology genius, very hard working, determined, passionate but has a hard time understanding emotions (which doesn't necessarily prevent him from being considerate though)

Raph: common sense smart, responsible, experienced ("Do not eat THE POISON!"), but he's bad at strategizing (his plans are kinda bad lmao) and he can't keep his cool under pressure sometimes

Mikey: emotions and feelings smart (heck, even Dr. Delicate Touch gets the job done when he wants to take care of a situation) but completely lacks common sense (this may be due to him being younger than the others though)

Leo: he's plain smart. He's really good at strategizing, tricking people, he knows the right thing to say to people at the right time, he can keep his cool under pressure, BUT he's lazy and inconsiderate at times. Also very academically dumb (like come on who doesn't know what "nigh" means lol)

I could make an allignmennt chart out of this. And a circle:

Leo can do what Raph can't (strategy), Raph can do what Mikey can't (common sense), Mikey can do what Donnie can't (empathy) and Donnie can do what Leo can't (working hard).

[One note about Leo and Donnie: it's so on point that Leo is lazy because achieving things come very easy and natural for him, thanks to his social skills and quick thinking, while Donnie has to work hard by making machines (I mean for him it's actually easy and fun but it's still a lot of work) and using creativity to invent new things that can help him through everyday life. Both of these ways of living are effective though very different. In their case, one can't do the other. Now it's not like Leo and the others never work hard, but Donnie is on an exceptional level so that's more of his thing, just like everyone else is on an exceptional level on their own thing.]

And that's why they're 1) the perfect team because they complete each other 2) the perfect cast of characters because every viewer (mostly teens of course) can relate to at least one of them (if not all of them)

There's also some parallels and things in common with all the characters too (they are brothers after all) even if it's for completely different reasons:

Donnie and Leo both have high self esteem (most of the time), which sometimes develops into arrogance and self centered behavior, but mostly because they're actually hiding insecurity

Mikey and Raph are both very considerate of others and are always concerned about everyone (even though Raph is like that because of his morals, he feels like it's his "duty", while Mikey is just a spread love kinda guy lmao) and naive

Both Raph and Donnie are well aware of their responsibilities (Raph saved Leo and Donnie shielded Mikey in the film)

Mikey and Leo are both good at socializing

Leo and Raph are both leaders (Raph more as a caretaker while Leo more as a guide) who occasionally don't trust their fellow team members and take burdens all on their own (just look at the entire plot of the movie lol)

Mikey and Donnie are very different, I can't remember anything they have in common at the moment but maybe that's just me

Lastly, it's so great and well written how everyone changes across the show:

Raph learns to trust his brothers more and to not take burdens all on his own (the season two finale was all about that)

Leo learns to be more trustworthy, less arrogant, and more responsible as he does things prepared to face the consequences in the end (mainly in the movie, in the show he doesn't have a lot of character development)

Donnie learns to accept and be open minded about others even if he can't fully understand them (he realizes that he can't "fix" his siblings, but he actually needs them for who they are) and he also learns that others do the same for him (that time April told him something like "we don't like you because of your tech, we like you because of you" had me sobbing)

Mikey becomes generally more competent, mainly in fighting? Cause he can throw entire cruise ships and buildings? I can't really think of more deeper character development, he's the nicest loving ray of sunshine ever even though he can be harsh if necessary, he's a pretty balanced guy that's all. But maybe I missed something I dunno

I can really do some high school literature homework level analysis lmao this show is amazing

[elderscrolls4]

19 year olds on tumblr: I just wanted to let everyone know that I base my self esteem on how cool it makes me feel to do things like have sex and do drugs, something a large part of the population just kind of naturally does, because I have just started recently doing these things and I'm quite excited that I can finally let everyone know that I'm now cooler and more normal like I've clearly never felt before, and I'm not at all aware of how I look like a high schooler trying way too hard and is clearly overly conscious of my self and image at every moment and is begging "let me in!" to the club of cool people who didn't get bullied growing up so I can prove I don't deserve to be disliked anymore and I can finally be the one who feels superior to someone who's an annoying dork like I was

Lmao what the fuck are you talking about

[thorfemmes]

Hii! Could you please do an Eddie x plus size reader where they are at an amusement park and reader doesn’t fit in the roller coaster. I could really use this comfort right now. :)

Thank you for the request! This is short and sweet, with minimal self-esteem issues so I don't get dysphoric lmao

I hope you enjoy and feel better soon anon<333

It was a good idea at first. Go to an amusement park, eat loads of cotton candy, -fun, right? But things came to a head when you tried to get on the wooden rollercoaster. It was the oldest coaster in the park, and as such it was designed a little differently.

"Step up folks, arms up and we'll pull the lap bar down," the worker shouted over the crowd.

You and Eddie carefully stepped into the rickety old cart and tried to pull the lap bar down. It stopped at your soft tummy, leaving Eddie to have too much room between him and the safety bar.

The worker came over and tried to pull it down further, causing a dull pain at the push.

"Miss, you can't ride this coaster with him if the bar doesn't come down to his lap".

Your face burned in embarrassment. You were all too aware of the size difference between you and Eddie, your old high school bullies reminded you everyday. But now you usually felt comfortable, confident in your skin. Eddie worshiped the ground you walked on and constantly told you how beautiful you were. But maybe it was the worker's tone, or perhaps your pants were a little too tight for your liking because that comment made your head spin.

"My apologies, I'll get off the ride".

"Baby no," Eddie said. "Dude, what the fuck? It's not that big of a deal, we'll be fine".

"Sorry sir, it's just our policy," The worker eyed you up and down. "You're more than welcome to ride separately if you'd like".

"No. Absolutely not. Fuck this, c'mon honey, we'll go ride a different coaster".

Eddie grabbed your hand and practically dragged you out of the ride once the lap bar came up.

"I'm sorry about that, baby. That guy was a slime ball".

"No I'm sor-".

"Don't you dare, you have nothing to apologize for. It's not your fault they haven't made all of the rides accessible".

You nodded. He was right, there was nothing wrong with you.

"You're perfect the way you are. I love you so much, gorgeous," He placed a firm kiss on your forehead, wrapping his arm around you and guiding you to a different coaster.

"I love you too, Eds".

[admirableadmiranda]

Genuine question. Now, I do think that WWX definitely won't but theres a little voice in the back of my head that just keeps saying it. Idk, I think I'm reading too much fanfic. Would wwx be insecure when it comes to LWJ? Like, wwx, as a person, I think he has pretty high self esteem and pretty confident in himself. The reason I'm torn is because I feel like before the wangxian confession he was definitely insecure about his relationship or what he has with LWJ but after that, all doubts has disappeared and he's very confident that he's lan Zhan's only one and I love them for that, but I just get the thought that? makes me go I wonder if wei wuxian ever thought that LWJ is too good for him or like has thoughts that he isn't good enough for LWJ, but then my brain seriously arguments my own thought saying that wangxian is one of the most happy, healthy and playful relationship. EVER. It's impossible that they have insecurities after the confession because they are both very reassured they both are very much in love with each other. My head's so chaotic LMAO.

So I do think that Wei Wuxian can be insecure over Lan Wangji, but it's not the same sort of insecurity as "am I good enough for him," or "he's too good for me", because he knows himself and he knows Lan Wangji and he knows that Lan Wangji won't lie to him in any way. If Lan Wangji wants to be with him, that's enough and he's happy and knows it's real.

Pre-relationship, yes there is some room for insecurity because Wei Wuxian isn't 100% sure on how much Lan Wangji likes him, or in what way. He knows what he wants, but he's not completely certain if it's the same feelings and especially in Yunping Inn, he's pretty nervous because he wants to have Lan Wangji in his life more than he wants anything specific, so it's hard to choose to make a move because he doesn't really have a lot in his life and he's run into the first thing that he's unable and unwilling to let go of. That is a form of insecurity, that hesitation to move forward because the things that you have to lose are not the things that you are willing to part with.

Post canon? It wouldn't be insecurity over losing him over doing the wrong thing or anything like that, and it certainly wouldn't pop up very often. But what people often seem to forget is that Wangxian went through a war and they are very aware of how dangerous and swiftly ended their lives can be. Wei Wuxian died, after losing his parents on a night hunt as a small child, after watching hundreds of cultivators die in war, after nearly his entire clan was wiped out by the Wen, after Lan Wangji lost his mother and father without ever being able to say goodbye, after Lan Wangji lived through Wei Wuxian's death and unexpected revival... there is room for an insecurity over life taking away the one they love from them again. Not from jealousy or infidelity, but because life is unpredictable and death comes swiftly sometimes without you ever having the power to change it. Therefore insecurity could be born in the worry of if one of them is too late coming home, or going out on their own for a long time, or a nighthunt that goes wrong, the fear of loss is still insecurity.

But it's the sort of insecurity that can be tended to and treated with presence and affection, with reassIurance and time and consistency. It's one of the things I love about them saying "See you tomorrow" instead of good night or goodbye, it's a promise that there always will be a tomorrow, there will always be more time, they will always be together. So as there is insecurity, so is there safety in the trust and words of the other.

I understand the confusion, both in that it's heavily present in a lot of fanon that Wei Wuxian or Lan Wangji would feel insecure and not worthy of the other, but also in that we as humans tend to have those feelings only to have to dismiss them actively because no matter what we're told, we know that not everything we think is the thing we want to think or the thing that we actively think. But Wangxian first and foremost are book characters, and book characters can be free of the ever present insecurities that plague all of us. They are secure in their own self-worth, their love for each other and that their love is returned, therefore there is no reason for doubt or fear that the other might love them less.

Thanks for dropping a message by!

[forabeatofadrum]

El WooWoo Wednesday! Thank you @confused-bi-queer and @larkral for the tag.

Yesterday started out terribly with me having a breakdown during a meeting at my job (oof) but it ended on such a high note. I don’t really share where I live on the internet (anymore) cause ya know internet security but now I kinda wish I did cause I mentioned several times that I organised a week filled with queer events and my big event was yesterday and I am still high on energy. I was so nervous beforehand but it went really well and the actress we invited was super chill. People also complimented me and said I didn’t seem nervous at all so +1 self-esteem there.

Gah, it was so good.

Apart from that, no writing is happening. Like I said I had a wee breakdown because I’d been living with constant stress for the past 1.5 weeks, partially due to the events, but also my studies, including my thesis. How’s my thesis going? It’s going. I am almost done with the analysis but it’s still very hard and frustrating and there is a lot of second guessing.

And of course, when I am not being Responsible, I am playing Zelda. I actually gave some more thoughts to the Zelda fic idea that I shared on Monday, but I’ll once again put it under the cut for spoilers.

And now, the weather: @quizasvivamos @blurglesmurfklaine @coffeegleek @esperantoauthor @otherworldsivelivedin @caramelcoffeeaddict @sillyunicorn @bazzybelle @dragoneggos @raenestee @tectonicduck @nightimedreamersworld @urban-sith @thnxforknowingme @captain-aralias (congrats on the baby!!!) @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @takitalks @justgleekout @cerriddwenluna @tea-brigade @ivelovedhimthroughworse @moodandmist @whogaveyoupermission @bookish-bogwitch @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @ionlydrinkhotwater @1908jmd @special-bc-ur-part-of-it @chen-chen-chen-again-chen ​ @cutestkilla ​ @nausikaaa ​/@wellbelesbian ​ @artsyunderstudy ​ @martsonmars ​ @facewithoutheart ​ @shrekgogurt @boyinjeans @rockitmans @bitbybitwrites​ @blackberrysummerblog

Okay so I reread Any way the wind blows and I forgot that Aryll is fucking 110 in that fic. That’s old! I mean, she had to be old cause the Calamity happened a hundred years ago AND Aryll needed to be old enough to properly remember her brother, but damn.

Now, I actually don’t know how many years are between Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom. We do know that Link is 17/117 in BOTW. Time has clearly passed, since children have grown up and places have changed. One change is that Link is an adult who can now drink alcohol at the bar in Gerudo Town (lmao). Someone (who also organised the aforementioned queer event) looked up the legal drinking age in Japan, which is 20, so does that mean there’s 3 years between the games?

That would make Aryll 113. If 110 was already pushing it, then 113 is really pushing it. Aryll was already weak and old in my fic, but man. So when the pirates attack Lurelin, is she still alive or did she die from old age? It’s established that Hylians have a human lifespan. But say she is alive in TOTK, then damn how will she flee Lurelin? Will Kiana and co. take her with them? But Aryll will have a lot of problems traversing through Hyrule. Even Faron is already difficult to traverse since it’s a big forest.

BUT

BUT

What if.... after Link and Aryll reunite..... and Link saves Zelda....... and Zelda sees the situation.............. Zelda goes to Purah. Purah reversed her age with Sheikah tech. And sure, it went a bit too far and she became a literal child, but she’s a teen/young adult now. This also kinda fucks up the 3 years idea, but also this is Purah so I won’t be surprised if she now sped up some aging in order to reach the age she wanted. What if, between games, Purah reverses Aryll’s age to match Link’s? Hmmmm. HMMMMM. Again, I’m just mumbling. I don’t know if this is a Legit Fic Idea, but I like to think about it.