#a good number of these are things that i’m either actively writing fics about or want to write about in the future

[hear-that-music-in-the-air]

Ada and Ian Headcanons (Rhythm Doctor)

this got Long As Hell i'm sorry lmao. headcanons under the cut!!

Ada:

- We know that Ian is a radiologist, but I think Ada is probably a general practitioner/primary care physician! If she's canonically a cardiologist (bc heart stuff) then that's my bad lmao. But based on what we see in the game, she doesn't really seem to specialize in anything. She instead seems to have a wide range of medical knowledge and we see her treating a variety of different illnesses/injuries, including Mr. Stevenson's broken leg and Lucky's torn rotator cuff. We know that she's been having to do pretty much everything around the hospital bc they're so understaffed, and primary care physicians usually have fairly extensive medical knowledge covering multiple fields, which I think is what allows her to do that.

- One of my biggest hcs about Ada is that she has a very strained relationship with her parents, and that her parents are also both doctors, though I imagine they're close to retirement by now. However, unlike Ada, they both specialize in highly specific fields like brain surgery or something (I actually do imagine her dad to be a neurosurgeon lmao), and because they're both so successful they have incredibly high expectations of her. They look down on her for choosing to be a GP/primary care physician because they think of that work as somehow less important/less worth her time. They're the kind of people who absolutely have a superiority complex about being doctors and ~saving lives~. Also definitely not the kind of people who should have had kids. They're distant at best and extremely judgmental and condescending at worst.

- Ada has one younger sister who's six years younger. Because their parents were always so busy with their careers, Ada basically grew up taking care of her sister, which definitely contributed to her mentality of feeling responsible for everyone all the time. Her sister moved out of their parents' house as soon as possible and is currently attending college somewhere far away, but she and Ada still keep in touch. Ada being an eldest daughter just makes too much sense to me lmao

- I like to think that Ada is an extremely affectionate person by nature. But because of growing up with emotionally distant parents, she doesn't ever really expect for that affection to be returned, especially from Ian who's not very outwardly affectionate most of the time. So when he does go out of his way to express affection it means a lot to her :)

- Because of the way her parents are, I think she kind of has an unconscious mentality of "no one is ever going to love me as much as I love them." She also struggles with people-pleasing tendencies (taking on more work than she can handle, having difficulty saying no to people) and self-esteem issues. So whenever someone goes out of their way to show her love, it kind of catches her off guard lol

- Ada's primary love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation (I'll explain this more below lol). She's REALLY big on physical touch—Ian generally does not like physical touch and one of the only people he tolerates/enjoys it from is Ada. Though I definitely think acts of service is one of her love languages too, as seen in Middlesea College Life. I simply think that she has so many love languages because she's FULL of love

- I imagine Ada as someone who feels her emotions very strongly, and who is generally just a highly emotional and empathetic person. Her empathy makes her good at connecting with the patients, but it also means that she feels everything so much all the time and it can be overwhelming for her sometimes. She’s undoubtedly very intelligent, but I think she’s still very much a heart over head type of person. She also cries pretty easily, though she has to try her best to keep it under wraps at work. The list of movies that make her cry is extensive, which Ian lovingly teases her for.

- Ada is extremely nearsighted and can't see much at all without her glasses. Because of this one of her favorite jokes is saying “I’ve seen enough” and taking her glasses off lmao

- Courtesy of @nightmun: Ada earnestly loves dad jokes, puns, and anything similar. Ian gets her a joke book as a gift once and regrets it immediately.

Ada, incredibly excited: IAN WHAT DOES A LEMON SAY WHEN IT PICKS UP THE PHONE

Ian: …what?

Ada: YELLOW!! *WHEEZE*

Ian: <:)

(this is the fifth one she’s told him today)

Ian:

- Ian’s mother is a single mom and his dad left when he was ten, hence why Ian is currently the only one taking care of her. Ian was also an only child. I imagine he and his mom are very close since it’s just been the two of them for so long, so her illness has really been taking a toll on him.

- Ian is bilingual and speaks Mandarin! I don’t think he has a canon ethnicity in-game (though please correct me if I’m wrong), but I’ve been thinking of him as Chinese Canadian, in line with @pokeblog123’s headcanon that Middlesea is in Canada. I imagine he and his mom speak Mandarin at home sometimes.

- I think Ian probably did robotics and/or coding as hobbies in high school and college! We know that he’s insanely tech-savvy, and he seems to have quite a talent for programming. In that same vein, another one of Ian's hobbies is buying old/vintage video game consoles from garage sales, on eBay, etc. and taking them apart to see how they work, sometimes also restoring them if he can.

- I know this is a pretty popular hc already but I think Ian is autistic/generally neurodivergent lol. I do try to write him with this in mind

- Related to that, Ian struggles with social cues to a certain degree, and subsequently has more trouble connecting with the patients than Ada. His little character card says he’s “better with computers than people” and I think this is probably because people are just difficult for him to read. Computers are much simpler; they’re predictable and generally do what they’re programmed to do. People are a lot more complicated. I do think he’s learned to read Ada fairly well simply because he’s known her for so long

- Ian's primary love language is acts of service/gift-giving. He struggles with physical touch and with verbalizing his feelings so he shows his love by doing things for people instead (which was part of the inspiration for my fic "Helping Hand"). If he goes out of his way to do something for you, that’s how you know he really cares. He's an actions over words type of guy :)

- Ian can be very blunt and straightforward, as we see in the game, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care. We know from game dialogue that he regularly encourages Ada to take breaks and is generally concerned for her wellbeing, and we can also infer that he worries a great deal about his mother. He definitely cares, he just has different ways of showing it.

- Ian normally doesn’t cry very easily and he also doesn’t like to cry in front of other people, but my hc for why he cried at the Stevensons’ reunion is because it reminded him of his own sick mother, who’s been alone ever since his dad left. He’s usually not one to cry in public but that just got to him. I like to think that Ada checked up on him afterwards.

(ACT 5 SPOILERS)

- Although he doesn't really show it, I think Ian probably feels a certain amount of guilt for everything that's happened with Connectifia Abortus, especially now that it's been revealed that the virus originated from the system he created. He knows that the rhythm defibrillator system could put the patients in danger if the virus keeps getting worse, and he's been working day and night to try to fix it. Of course, Edega's demand for a "miracle cure" at the expense of caution and safety certainly isn't helping matters. Given that Ada also needs treatment on occasion, one of Ian's biggest fears is that Ada will get hurt because of the virus (and, he thinks, because of him).

BOFA THEM:

- I think Ada was Ian's first, and possibly only, good friend at college. I imagine they met through their shared classes and Ada was one of the only people who made a point to talk to him. After that she sort of just stuck around, much to Ian’s initial surprise. He had always struggled with making friends and he was hesitant to open up to her at first, but her persistence and genuine sincerity eventually won him over. Now they’re best friends :)

- I've seen other people say that they were probably roommates at some point in college/med school and I definitely think so too. I'm sure they pulled a lot of all-nighters together lol

- Once Ada and Ian became close friends, I like to imagine that she also got to know Ian's mother. She's always gotten along with her very well, and because her own parents were so distant, Ada came to think of her as somewhat of a parental figure. When Ian's mom first got sick and started requiring intensive care, Ada insisted on helping out with anything they needed.

- What I was referencing above about Ada and physical affection: I think Ada might be somewhat touch-starved because of my headcanon that her parents aren't very affectionate people. She craves physical touch and words of affirmation because she never got much of that from her parents. Once Ian figures this out, he tries his best to do those things for her even though it doesn't come as naturally to him (as in like, he’s normally not one to initiate hugs but he’ll give Ada a hug if he can tell that she needs it).

- Ian’s pragmatism balances out Ada’s bleeding-heart altruism, and vice versa. I think over years of friendship they’ve learned to appreciate the other’s perspective and find a middle ground, though of course that’s not always possible in high-stress medical situations.

- Ada doesn’t really understand anything about the online games that Ian plays, but she probably uses gamer lingo incorrectly on purpose just to annoy him lmao

- Unrelated to anything but I think one of their favorite pastimes is hate-watching Grey's Anatomy together and making fun of all the medical inaccuracies (I’ve never watched Grey’s Anatomy but I’ve heard there are many). Despite this they’re both low-key invested but neither of them wants to admit it lol

Anyway I love them. In my mind they are besties who get married for tax benefits. Thank you for your time if you read this far lmao

[m1ssunderstanding]

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day 20

I literally got second-hand anxiety hearing, “How many numbers do you think you’ll have by tomorrow?”. I was like. TOMORROW? They are Not ready. The only reason the rooftop works out is because they’re the fucking Beatles. No one else would pull that out of their butts so well. 

If only John could’ve listened to Glyn about Klein. smh

Classic Paul. Starts out saying “us” ends up just talking about John. “The best bit of us always has been, and always will be, is when we’re backs against the wall and we’ve been rehearsing, rehearsing, rehearsing. And he knows it’s a take on the dub. And he does it great.” It’s okay, Paul. We all know you like to get him up against a wall. No but seriously, Paul is not okay about John. 

Takes every opportunity to flirt, doesn’t he?

“I can’t wait to work here, you know . . . I mean, here in our life, it’s like home.” It’s the gentleness, yeah. But it’s the focus, too. Most people (I know I would) would be so done with him and his anxiety spirals and his neuroses and over-thinking on and on and on by this point. John probably is, but he shows no sign of that fatigue at all. He is zeroed in on working him through this. He’s done it a million times before, and he’s ready to do it as many more times as Paul needs. Ugh, they make me into such a sap!

“Yeah, well that’s why I’m talking to John, not you.” If Paul can talk like that to George Martin, one of the most respected men in his life, when he’s in the middle of a thing with John, imagine how he must’ve bullied other people that tried to worm their way in. 

That smile he gives George though! That’s how he got away with all his shit, isn’t it? So fucking cute.

“I agree with you, I think it’s disappointing, but all right, we only got to seven. Let’s do seven.” The tone of voice, man. So. Fucking. Gentle. No wonder Paul can't stand the projected "acerbic, tough Lennon" shit. If that was how someone treated you and took care of you? And then everyone acts like that part of them just didn't exist, and emphasizes the parts of them that they themselves hated and actively worked against? Yeah I'd be pretty pissed too.

Glyn reassuring Paul that there’s no reason they can’t come back and do a TV show later. Yeah, fifty years later. 

John’s eyes constantly flicking back to Paul as George is talking . . . 

George really does take so much better care of himself than the other three at this time. Pictured here, silently begging viewers like you to chip in just ninety-eight cents toward his freedom.

I actually think, though, that if Ringo had said he didn’t want to go on the roof either at that moment, that they wouldn’t have done it. I think they look to him for common sense in their decision-making, and Ringo saying he didn’t want to do it really might’ve broken the whole thing.

George’s reaction to Ringo voting for the roof VS John. It’s giving tragic heroine VS villain origin story

Honestly heartbroken at the “I love you, blue”. How many times did John just straight up say those words to Paul only for Paul to be completely unresponsive? That genuinely hurt to watch.

The tiny little looks they give each other. “Okay. We got this.”

“Fuck all that. I’m just gonna do me for a bit.” Good for you, baby. 

“I had a good dream last night, you’re black or you’re white, you want equal rights.” I know some people say it’s hypocritical or preachy or whatever, but I ADORE this John. Look how fucking happy he’s making Billy right now and then talk to me about how John’s political side is meaningless. I think it’s beautiful.

I think it’s actually too embarrassing for them at this point to sing Two of Us without being insane.

“We’re all sleeping at Georgie’s tonight. Get in the mood.” Oh how I wish they actually had. I mean, maybe they did. Someone write the fic!

Oh, the “who knows, Yoko,” moment. It’s so embarrassing. The fact that there was just no response whatsoever. Yeesh. 

So many nerves when I saw the camera zooming into that circled date with “Rooftop Concert” written on it. What is wrong with me?

[haologram]

altair's 2024 wrapped!

— naturally, i got fomo. everyone was tagging me, and those who didn't tag me had such good spreads. as we see 2024 come to a close, i cannot say how happy i am to be done with this shitty year. however, good things did come out of it: i finally allowed myself to be dragged into caratland after casually stanning for the last five years, and i've succumbed to the fact that i write too many words per oneshot. 2025 resolution: get a grip! — thank you to everyone who has supported my writing in this year, though i've only posted a few works on this blog (as well as on @babeyun), but i am eternally grateful for all the friends i've made along the way. here's to 2024, i'm glad you're over soon. 2025, be kind, i beg. — if you've been tagged: you're likely either one of the reader reviews, one of my favorite reads or i'm tagging you so you can do this too! thank you for reading this. — all my love, altair. ♡

— 2024 fic stats:

— total words published: 130k!! — number of fics posted: 5 (trust me, 2025 i will post more!) — number of wips: 13 (like...ones that are actively being written.)

— most popular fics of 2024:

— first place: how to be a latin lover - joshua hong [x fem!reader.]

— posted: 16 september. — notes: 633 — favorite reader reactions: "i skipped a class to read this and I don't regret it one bit" by @aloeshit || ""Ah, ah, ah! We need to speak, Miss Y/N. Turn around." - the tension in this one line.. I GASPED.. i had to close my tabs because of how much this one line got me and it was just the beginning stages.." by @tusswrites || @mingycr's entire reblog, it was my first ever review like that and i cried. — comments from the author: this fic was my debut onto caratblr! i still cannot believe that people liked it, but i put so much effort into this as both a latin spanish speaker and for my namesake.

— second place: araneae - kwon soonyoung [x fem!reader.]

— posted: 3 october. — notes: 543 — favorite reader reactions: "i locked the fuck in for this one an hour later i’m crying" by my dearest @mercif4l || "i also liked the aquarium scene, 'which one are you? the male one' lol" by @flowershu — comments from the author: funnily enough, this fic is one i'm not entirely satisfied with, but i love it endlessly. i love love love writing hoshi, he's such a diverse character and it makes me emotional as fuck sometimes.

— third place: stairway to the stars - lee jihoon [x fem!reader.]

— posted: 23 december. — notes: 514 — favorite reader reactions: @monamipencil's entire reblog, as the drabble was literally for her LOL || "need to grab Jihoon by the neck and shake him like a maraca" by my beloved @gyuswhore — comments from the author: the way i was FIGHTING to keep this under 1.5k was INSANE. i fear that i cut it off right at the highest tension and kept the shitty smut for myself because why are you looking at my man?

— longest fic of 2024:

unforgiven - boo seungkwan [x fem!reader]

— posted: 29 november. — word count: 40,812 words! — favorite reader reactions: the entire reblog by @diamond-reads. i fucking SOBBED reading that review. || "when i lock my husband out of our bedroom to read this in peace at late hours of the night, then what." by @nanareadings (i cackled) — comments from the author: i think this is genuinely one of my favorite things i've ever written. i have never been so proud of a dynamic or pairing, because athena!seungkwan x arachne!reader was definitely my flex. this fic took me two months to write because i was so nervous about making sure the dynamics and power play played out correctly and i'm proud to say that i am so incredibly satisfied with this fic.

— most recent fic of 2024:

between you and me - lee chan [x fem!reader]

—posted: 24 december. — word count: 40,489 words! — favorite reader reactions: "finally a good chan fic i feel so whole today" by @neodanceology (i cried like a fucking baby reading that) || "i'm hitting them with a newspaper and screaming at them to cOMMUNICATE" by @nebulousbookshelf (me freaking too trust me) — comments from the author: god, i loved writing this. it was so deliciously stressful and the first time ever that smut came easily to me. i think that writing such a complex relationship (that is slightly based off my own personal experiences) that boils down to both people just being fucking idiots is absolutely my favorite trope. i can truly say that i love how my mind created this within TWO WEEKS. TWO!! isn't that fucking insane?? i'm appalled.

— favorite reads:

— note from haologram: these are in member order. that being said, i have read and reread each of these fics at least three times. i hold them near and dear to my heart so i will gladly say pleasepleaseplease never delete them or i will cry an ocean and flood your house. thank you! [any fics with a ☆ contain nsfw content, do not engage if you are not 18+, or if the author specifically states such on their blog.] — ex-conomics by @ugh-yoongi [c.seungcheol] — full throttle (p1) (p2) by @diamonddaze01 [y.jeonghan] ☆ — distracted by @eomayas [h. joshua] ☆ — the boy who lives on the moon by @miniseokminnies [w.junhui] — elevatory by @wqnwoos [k. soonyoung] — endpoint by @highvern [j. wonwoo] ☆ — steam (p1 ; 2 ; 3 ; 4 ; bonus) by @highvern [j. wonwoo] ☆ — ave, general by @amourcheol [l.jihoon] ☆ — raw by @ourdawnishotterthanourday [l. seokmin] ☆ — when i kissed the teacher by @highvern [k. mingyu] — sit down by @gyuswhore [k. mingyu] ☆ — orbit by @tomodachiii [x. minghao] — perspective by @tomodachiii [x. minghao] — wanted u by @hannieehaee [x. minghao] ☆ — hi (i love you) by @wheeboo [x. minghao] — office hours by @seungkw1 [b. seungkwan] ☆ — favorite coworker by @sescoups [c. hansol] ☆ — rivers & roads by @miniseokminnies [c. hansol] ☆ — rates of change by @wqnwoos [l.chan]

— top songs of 2024:

— orbit by the8, jinjibewater_隼. — eat it by megan thee stallion. — contigo quiero estar by selena. — 7pm by bss, peder elias. — maiochiruhanabira (fallin' flower) by seventeen. — jealousy by pale waves. — habit by seventeen. — circles by pierce the veil. — i found a boy by adele. — item by stray kids.

— 2025 goals:

— oof, this is a doozy. as for this blog, i'm hoping to keep posting and build my masterlist. back when i launched it, i launched a project that i haven't published yet and i want to get that done. as a writer i find myself starting projects and stopping them when i've convinced myself that no one will like them, but 2025 is the year of stopping self doubt and pushing forward. — as for myself outside of haologram, i'm looking forward to a better year overall. 2024 was not kind to me and neither were the people i allowed back into my life, but i digress. i hope that in 2025 i can implement what i've learned this year, and that's to not give a fuck what anyone has to say about me because at the end of the day they do not define my self worth. in 2025 i hope to build more lasting friendships, write to my hearts content and actually enjoy my summer this year instead of rotting in my bed because i let depression overtake me again. i am stronger than 2024 me is, and if you're reading this, so are you!! keep going!! keep on truckin' dude!!

— thank you to everyone who was by my side this year. i could not have made it through this treacherous year without you, and i am glad to have you all with me, and i hope 2025 is good to you as i am praying it will be to me.

— tags: [feel free to ignore!] @ressjeon @jenoslutie @lavnderwonu @diamonddaze01 & whoever else wants to do this!

[sufferu]

Okay. So, I know at this point you’re probably tired of people trying to argue over the camps’ decisions in No Refunds, but I have Thoughts and want to speak them so here’s my two cents anyway, regarding problems with the decision to force Subaru to renounce his knighthood:

Problem 1: He’s got no real choice in Return By Death. He’s stuck in a horrid situation, and he’s trying to salvage whatever good he can from it. Given the crazy stuff that continuously happens to him and the people around him, he’s gonna die, that’s just a fact. He’s managed to get past the Greed IF mindset of abusing this deliberately (mostly), but it’s still pretty much inevitable that he’s going to end up with information that he couldn’t get any other way.

Problem 2: He wants to help, more than anything. Yes, to some extent this is a problem, but at the same time these people are his friends and he genuinely loves them. Forcing him into a padded cell to prevent him from helping them is… pretty horrid. Congratulations, you’ve ensured that a whole lot of people are gonna die horribly, and all it cost was torturing Subaru in a way more profound to him than the actual deaths he’s suffered and probably also still killing him.

This is a problem with no good solutions, I’ll admit. That’s kinda how Re:Zero rolls. But to me, the least horrible solution would be to arm him as effectively as possible. Training, magic, and so on in an attempt to minimize the number of deaths he suffers. He’ll still be in harm’s way, but the point of the whole above rant is that he’ll always be in harm’s way.

Absolutely none of this should be taken as a statement that I actively dislike either fic in the series. I think that the characters in No Refunds would respond as they do, and that it’s very well-done all around. And, of course, Dogshow has easily shot well past WHDAAA as best react fic due to the characters’ more realistic reactions being more removed from just watching a show, the explicit removal of the harem elements (ugh), and the lack of the “that makes me feel angry” narration that plagues WHDAAA. Good stuff all around, I eagerly await more.

I feel like I can’t really argue for or against this sort of thing properly because like. That’s the fic’s job? Explaining the entirety of what I’m about to do or why I’m about to do it would be a legitimate betrayal of my writing. I know I’m a bit of a blabbermouth on this blog but like, there are SOME limits, lol. Especially when it’s the main conflict of the story.

But I will say: it does kind of confuse me that so many people seem to have interpreted them deciding to revoke his knighthood with them locking him in a padded cell. Because — honestly, all they’re really saying is “You can’t have THAT career. You can go and do LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE: you just can’t do THAT.” Hell, a big reason why Wilhelm did That in that one ficlet was to preserve Subaru’s freedom to choose whatever other career he might want to the best of his ability, and Crusch’s whole thought process about what “suicide watch” would actually entail in No Refunds ended with her going “Alright. Wilhelm, how would you like a new grandson? :D” I don’t really want to spoil how all this shakes out or anything but — just from what I’ve written so far, I find it kind of odd that so many people seem to have genuinely taken away the idea that they want to actually stick him in a jail cell or something, lol

And I’m very glad you’re enjoying both of those fics! My main concern above basically anything else is making sure that the characters remain in-character and the conflict naturally stems from their actual thoughts about the whole situation, and I’m glad that I seem to be doing it well so far, lol. Hope you continue to enjoy them both!

[tadpolesonalgae]

Ur descriptions of the lil coastal town and the sea with its little creatures and the lil trinkets is so amazing omg I cant help but get sucked right in. It just makes it so bittersweet that reader at least gets to experience this much but there’s still so much more out there for her to learn about and live through… she just can’t with her ‘timeframe’.

Fuck… the Bas scene rlly was a heavy hitter. I think that I (along with the reader) had just gotten so used to him being somewhat of a constant that this rlly did a number on me. Life rlly has been particularly awful to reader… to find him in such a state… especially when she expected him to outlive her by CENTURIES, to live and move on from her, experience what she couldn’t… when all things calm down, I hope the reader gets to see him off properly

You have done such an amazing job creating such a compelling character as Bas. I genuinely don’t think I’ve gotten so attached to a character as him. And as much as it hurts cause you have just made him so damn loveable, know that he lives in my brain on the constant.

Good job Azriel Shadowsinger (I’m using his full govt name cause I’m still mad at him) for being able to lull her to sleep after the ordeal(s)!!! It rlly was a rock and a hard place type situation😭 I’m happy that we got the lil look into some of reader’s happy childhood memories tho!

Also reader snarling and sassing him in the shop LMAO more of that please. He deserves to get some attitude.

It was a HEAVY chapter but you did amazingly (as always) I couldn’t put my phone down even if I tried to ❤️❤️❤️

'Ur descriptions of the lil coastal town and the sea with its little creatures and the lil trinkets is so amazing omg I cant help but get sucked right in.'

Thank you so much!!! <3

Since it was the first time I was taking you somewhere non-canon in the fic I really wanted to make it feel like an actual place, if that makes sense? I think actually writing those beginning sections where reader is observing the valleys, the shoreline, the town itself, and the beach were the parts that took the longest? With dialogue, or more character-driven scenes I mostly rely on conversation to keep progress up, while having small sentences of movement in between so the story is still moving even during conversation? So actually having to write more descriptive sections takes more effort, for me at least! Definitely trying to pull together a picture of what I want to describe, and pulling on past experiences?

I have this memory from when I was younger and visiting either Bristol or Brighton, and coming across a row of houses that were painted sea-shades of blue, and a couple of pink, and yellow ones, so that's where the coloured houses came from, then the summer before last I spent some time in Wales and visited a few different beaches, which helped with describing the shore section! <3

'Fuck… the Bas scene rlly was a heavy hitter. I think that I (along with the reader) had just gotten so used to him being somewhat of a constant that this rlly did a number on me.'

Yeah... I'll tell you, from the standpoint of being the one writing the story, it was so difficult getting asks about the Summer and Autumn Court sections (which looked like they were going to be the next chapters) and not being able to talk about much of that! :')

And I'm still going to miss getting to actively write his character - I think he honestly ended up becoming an integral part of reader's life, so losing him is going to cause some changes for her, and her perspective on life, and love.

On one hand I'm sorry that anyone who also liked Bas now won't get to see him again, but on the other hand it makes me so happy (?) that some of you connected enough with his character to feel sadness, or loss in that section? I know that's a weird way to phrase it, but in a sense it's heartwarming you're missing him, so thank you for your willingness to believe in him as a character <3

'especially when she expected him to outlive her by CENTURIES, to live and move on from her, experience what she couldn’t…'

Yes! For reader, she was born human, so in the beginning was probably still getting used to the idea of immortality, whereas for Bas it was practically a given. Like reader said, she wasn't expecting to experience more loss before she got to go, and especially not from someone who was supposed to outlast her by such a massive stretch :/

'You have done such an amazing job creating such a compelling character as Bas. I genuinely don’t think I’ve gotten so attached to a character as him. And as much as it hurts cause you have just made him so damn loveable, know that he lives in my brain on the constant.'

This makes me so unbelievably happy to hear - thank you so, so much! <3

Although again, I think that to form a strong attachment with or to a character, there has to be a willingness on your part to accept that character, and temporarily suspend some beliefs to make them come to life, so thank you to you for being open to him <3

'Good job Azriel Shadowsinger (I’m using his full govt name cause I’m still mad at him)'

As you should, as you should

I wouldn't have anything else to write if you forgave him immediately after that chapter, as relieving as I found it to finally write Az finding a way to kind of be there for reader, in his own, unique way

'for being able to lull her to sleep after the ordeal(s)!!! It rlly was a rock and a hard place type situation😭 I’m happy that we got the lil look into some of reader’s happy childhood memories tho!'

Despite that scene being a draining one to write, it was also kind of calming? I had this relaxing, instrumental, winter playlist on so it was a pretty cathartic scene for me, after the anguish of the section prior to that! And I'm glad you enjoyed that brief, wandering part as reader's drifting off to sleep, and Az trying to lull her into that fatigue by asking her questions that will conjure up ideas to dream about <3

'Also reader snarling and sassing him in the shop LMAO more of that please. He deserves to get some attitude.'

Yes! I loved getting to write the section with Malachite!! He really rubs her the wrong way, for some reason!

I think also, from a writing standpoint, it'll feel more natural for reader to be a little more open with her irritation, now that Azriel has already seen it passively?

'It was a HEAVY chapter but you did amazingly (as always) I couldn’t put my phone down even if I tried to ❤️❤️❤️'

Thank you! :') Though I don't know how you managed to keep concentrated for that long! I find my eyes sometimes go a little weird if I stare at a screen for too long without taking a break!

And I'm sorry for the heavy angst in that last part, I swear it's going to be Summer Court in the next chapter!!

And thank you so so SO much for writing in!!!!! Both after such a long break, and with such a heavy chapter, it's so relieving that you're still interested in cbmthy and happy to chatter away with me about it! It's always so fun, and such a lovely experience getting to hear different thoughts and reactions to the things I've written, so thank you! <3

[stereopticons]

2024 Fic Year in Review

I know I did a bunch of these already and I wasn’t tagged but @kiwiana-writes did this and like him, I fuckin’ love stats, so I’m doing this one too.

AO3 Username: stereopticons

My Page: Link

Active Fandoms: Schitt’s Creek, Red, White & Royal Blue

New Fandoms this year: None

Total Number Of Completed Works/Word Count

This Year: 17 fics, 34,782 words

All Time: 101 fics, 373,443 words

Most Popular One Shot (by kudos):

This Year: you can call me, call me, anytime (RWRB; Alex/Henry; E; 502 words)

All Time: if i’m not beyond repair (SC; David/Patrick; M; 8.3k words)

Most Popular Completed Multi-Chapter (by kudos): 

I didn’t finish any multichapter fics last year but here’s hoping for this year?

All Time: the lie between your teeth (SC; David/Patrick; M; 48k words)

Events/Challenges: I think just @scmdc-secret-santa-gift-exchange and Royally Big Bang (though not as a writer).

Additional Random AO3 Stats

2024 fics by rating: 76% E, 12% T and 6% each M and G which is a significant departure from my usual distribution (thanks to kinktober)

All time fics by rating: 47% T, 30% E, 15% M, 8% G, and 1% NR

2024 title sources: 88% song lyrics, 6% canon dialogue, 6% no specific source

All time title sources: 71% song lyrics, 13% pun/wordplay, 11% no specific source, 2% canon dialogue

2024 song lyric sources: 12% from musicals and 6% each from The Bens, Mariah Carey, Billy Joel, Regina Spektor, The Neighbourhood, MUNA, Chapterhouse, The Dixie Cups, Noah Reid, Matt Nathanson, Blondie, Julien Baker, and Sara Bareilles

All time song lyrics sources that have been used more than once: 8% musicals, 6% the Mountain Goats, 5% Noah Reid, 3% Julien Baker, 2% each the Wonder Years and Matt Nathanson. 63% of song lyrics sources have only been used once.

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected?

Less for sure. There were a lot of things that happened that I hadn’t expected that made it hard to write. Up until April of 2024, I had published at least one fic every month since October 2021, and ending that streak was really hard for me. And the stretch of not writing between April and August was ROUGH.

What’s your own favourite story of the year?

I cannot pick a favorite, so here’s my top three:

gather up the avenues (SC; David/Patrick; E; 10.3k words)

a long winter of indifference (SC; David/Patrick; T; 1.7k words)

the shape of things we cannot ignore (SC; David/Stevie; E; 610 words)

Did you complete your writing goals from last year?

lol I’m sure I didn’t. I didn’t finish indie band patrick (STILL). I don’t remember what the other goals were but I’m sure I didn’t complete them.

ETA: I looked up what I said my goals were last January and apparently I said this:

I would really love to say I’d start posting indie band Patrick in January but that just doesn’t seem realistic unless I suddenly discover a whole lot of motivation and time. So let’s say I hope to complete either the Manhattan exes to lovers fic or the threesome fic, whichever (vastly different) direction inspiration takes me.

And I did one of those things! I finally completed the Manhattan exes to lovers fic!

Do you have any writing goals for the New Year?

Keep writing.

Did you take any writing risks this year?

I feel like attempting kinktober was a risk for me. And I didn’t really manage to complete it but 11 fics/14.4k words is still pretty good considering.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion

The David/Stevie kinktober fic (even though it’s only a few days old). It’s a rare pair in a fandom that’s a lot less active than it used to be, so it’s to be expected but I think people should read it anyway.

Most fun story to write:

I think I had the most fun writing i feel dizzy, i feel sunny, i feel fuzzy and funny and fine.

Biggest disappointment:

Having to break my publishing streak. That sucked.

Biggest surprise:

Nothing comes to mind?

Coming soon/planned for 2025:

I have something planned for Frozen Over (maybe two things if i get my shit together). Beyond that, i have a bunch of things i want to finish but I’m not sure which it will be.

[ollieofthebeholder]

Hello!

I’m a huge fan of your writing, specifically your Had He Known It story, it’s a favorite of mine I’ve read nearly a dozen times now. The way you manage to not just create such a broad and in depth cast of characters but pace yourself so it never feels crowded is awesome!

I was wondering if you thought you’d ever return to working on the sequel story or not? As a writer myself I know sometimes you just loose steam in things, but also as a reader I know sometimes a few years can bring an author back to piece. I’ve always been dead curious about Josephine Bhaer and where her story was going, even after all this time, along with the rest of Slim’s cohort.

I also wondered what your thoughts were on fan continuations of it — I saw you requested that people ask before writing things based on your work, and it’s something I’ve considered trying my hand at though lord knows I couldn’t promise to finish that large of a project either

Hope you have a good day!

Hello!

Sorry this took me so long to respond to - I did see it, but I've been out of town all weekend and this was a lot to type on my phone, lol.

Thank you so much! That's a huge compliment. ^_^

I am planning to go back to the sequel story...someday. I know I keep saying that, but I really do mean it. I have always intended to get back into it. The reasons I haven't are threefold. In the first place, I did genuinely lose steam on it (for a number of sub-reasons, including that I set it aside to work on a NaNo novel, that the laptop I was using at the time literally exploded and took part of a chapter with it, that once I did get a new laptop I couldn't find the key to download Scrivener again and thus couldn't access my files for a good while, and that I then started listening to TMA and got mugged with the idea for what eventually became leaves too high to touch (roots too strong to fall)). In the second place, I...kinda fell out of the Star Trek fandom a little bit, at least actively, and was having trouble getting back into it.

And in the third place...I really didn't plan it out that well. I know a few of the major beats of the story (I know what's up with Slim's roommate, I know what's up with Brae's roommate, I know what Jo's story is, and I know where the story is going to end - and y'all do, too, because of the epilogue to HHKI), but most of the connective tissue - and, frankly, Slim's overall story - was just being made up as I went along. Add in the fact that work's gotten crazier and crazier (as witnessed by the fact that it took me about a year to write the first 65 chapters, and another three years to write the last 50) and I just haven't got back to it.

But I want to. Eventually.

I would love to see if you wrote something based off the fic! The only thing I would ask is that if you want to try your hand at anything touching on the beats I mentioned up there, you don't tag me in it. But other than that, go for it! (And if you have any lore questions, I'm happy to answer.)

Hope you have a great day too!

[queerwolf79]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks for the tag @eyesofatragedy67

1. How many works do you have on A03?

121 so far, that number will increase within the next couple of months.

2. What's your total word count?

3,439,494

Holy shit, and that's not including the word count of unpublished works or the original novel I'm currently editing!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Actively: Supernatural; Good Omens; Our Flag Means Death; Red, White, and Royal Blue, (MAYBE DEAD BOY DETECTIVES BACK OFF)

Past: South Park; High School Musical; Beauty and the Beast; Harry Potter; Blades of Glory; and Glee.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos:

Top 5 in general (this includes co-written fics):

In a Mirror, Darkly (written with @anyreiart) - 3,068

Red, White, and Royal Blue Balls - 2,365

Playing with Fire (written with @anyreiart) - 1,748

That Wasn’t Supposed to Fucking Happen! (written with @anyrei) - 1,387

The Heart of Ophelia (written with @anyreiart) - 1,357

Top 5 Solo Fics:

Red, White, and Royal Blue Balls - 2,365

La Rose Cachée - 1,146

Twenty After Four - 390

You Know I’m No Good - 326

And Walk Yourself to the Laundromat - 318

5. Do you respond to comments?

UGH, not as much as I should, and I used to be really good about responding to all comments, but presently my inbox on Ao3 has 4402 “unread” comments and I just… I can’t, it’s too overwhelming at this point with working two jobs. But I read and genuinely appreciate every single comment, even if I can’t reply to every single one!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ah. That’s a toss up between Nothing’s Gonna Change My World and Through the Rift Series. In my opinion, the former, but I’m sure Any would beg to differ.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oooh, fun! Ummmm. Most of them have happy endings (both literally and figuratively). I guess the “happiest” ending goes to the crack fic I wrote for Any’s birthday seven years ago. Crack in the Fourth Wall

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Oh, you betcha. The first time we got a shitty comment on a joint fic, Any said, “We’ve made it!” Thankfully, when a certain newsletter was dismantled, the anti-destiel harassment died down. I/We still get the occasional “concrit” comment from readers who think it’s an okay thing to give unsolicited writing advice, and I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Constructive criticism cannot exist in already posted fanfiction world, you aren’t being constructive or critiquing, you’re literally filing a complaint, leaving a bad review. So either embrace the fact you’re a shitty 1-star Yelp review Karen, or stop leaving concrit.

9. Do you write smut?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

10. Craziest crossover?

I actually don’t write crossovers, but keep your eyes peeled! I recently participated in the CasDean Reverse Crossover Bang, and in a little over a week, I’ll be posting my Harry Potter crossover fic featuring art by the amazing @rezal-art!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not technically, or in a way that could be proven, but a very popular fic very much felt like a rip off of one of mine and Any’s fics, one that a well known author (a friend of the author of aforementioned rip off) made it a point to tell potential readers to not read the ending of because said author didn’t like the polyamory of it all.

Even funnier, that same author shortly after wrote their own poly fic. So, I guess personal preferences used to justify telling people to not read someone’s fic can sometimes beget a change of heart if it gets you more comments/readers.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Any and I have had a couple of our fics translated into Chinese, Russian, and Spanish! And we are here for anyone who wishes to translate any of our fics, just let us know and send us a link, and we will include it in the notes!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. At this point, I prefer to not write alone. Any needs to stop allowing it to happen.

14. All-time favorite ship?

Okay, so… technically, it’s Destiel. It’s the only pairing that survived the end of its series. Dean Winchester and Castiel are my two favorite archetypes of characters and their specific dynamic transcends canon bad endings and any type of universe.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I don’t have any! The last time I posted a WIP, it took me a couple years to finish, so I promised myself I would only post completed fics from now on.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Comedic scenarios and dialogue. I like the funnies and the speakings.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

DESCRIPTIONS. I fucking hate it, okay? Why can’t you all just know what’s in my damn head? I also have a toxic, codependent relationship with commas and sentence fragments.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

A little mixed. So, barring it being like… Latin, or a more archaic language that you use an unreliable online translator for or a language you speak, I believe for believable dialogue, you should have a friend or someone who can confirm/verify that the language is written correctly, otherwise, I vote you write, “they spoke in x language,” and interpret in the narrative. And no writing an accent in dialogue for characters where English is a second language phonetically! Like, authentic structure of a sentence, rhythm, or word choice is fine, but let’s not be offensive folks.

19. First fandom you ever wrote in?

Harry Potter over twenty years ago now. I’m an old.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Oooh, that’s fun. Ummmm. For co-written, it’s a toss up between Five Dimensions, or Dean’s Crusade: A Dance with Self Discovery with @anyreiart or Heaven on htraE with @eyesofatragedy67 and for solo it’s a toss up between I Wish for This and La Rose Cachée

Tag time! @anyreiart @punk-is-notdead and whoever else wants to do this!

[jeffersonhairpie]

One of the YouTube comments of all time oh my GOD

Found on this video

[Image ID: A YouTube comment from user @sire-dame-sander It reads:

Image 1

as promised here in MY Insane Cats Fandom Story. formatting this greentext style bc it’d be fucking unreadable as a big block of text - be me - cats the musical fan, dumb teenager - in groupchat with several other cats the musical fans - our number one group activity is keeping up with this one fanfic, “the silver protector and me” - it’s 70k words of munkustrap x the author’s self insert oc - from the moment you pick TPSAM up it’s not great from a writing perspective but the further you read the more unhinged the plotlines get - everyone can shapeshift into normal cats with no explanation. the main character is french n everybody else is incredibly aroused by it. all the girl cats frequently body shame the main character for being too skinny. the love interest is abusive towards his son because he thinks he might be gay. there’s a bunch of sex slavery just like an insane amount - this isn’t really that alarming to us. obviously the author might sort of be goin through it but at the end of the day it’s just a fanfic - however. there is also an author’s note at the end of every chapter where the author (we’ll call her jazzie after her self insert) shares wayyyyy too much about her life - we learn a bunch through these. she’s british. she has a terrible ex. she loves the guy who’s she’s currently dating but he hates cats the musical. she’s been to cats the musical 115 times. she has a 7 year old son - she also links her instagram + tumblr. maybe this was a dick move of us but being teenagers we check them out - jazzie’s instagram is pretty normal other than the fact that everyone but her looks miserable in every photo - whatever. they might just have resting bitch face - jazzie’s tumblr is CRAZY - we discover that she’s been in several bona fide large scale scandals - you name it jazzie has posted it. most recently she’s gotten in trouble for comparing the traditional body modification of various unrelated african cultures to, and I quote, “dumb bimbos getting too much plastic surgery” - she’s also fighting on a daily basis with people who hate her fanfic over its various Issues, including one heated debate with an actual sex trafficking survivor - about a week after we start checking in on jazzie’s tumblr, she posts that she’s going to be taking a break n moving all her mutuals into a discord server - this server will also house the live drafting of new chapters of TPSAM - being idiot teenagers we decide we HAVE to get into this server to watch TPSAM get drafted live. its siren song is far too strong for morals to assuage us - in an attempt to gain mutualhood before jazzie leaves for good, I create my cishetsona - her name is abi n she’s a 17 year old girl living in indiana who loves only two things: cats the musical and her homophobic 23 year old fiancée who works in his dad’s garage - she’s a closet tuggoffelees shipper as well but she openly ships mistoffellees/victoria (which is for some reason the default straight ship in cats even though victoria canonically hooks up with plato. no I’m not sure why either) - abi begins participating in the cats the musical fandom by posting annoyingly heterosexual content - within one (1) week, this has gotten her into jazzie’s discord - a few of my co conspirators have played the same trick. there’s maybe four or five of us in there - inside this discord we are exposed to fandom drama we never even knew existed - jazzie frequently complains to the server about her current boyfriend. she hates how much he dislikes cats the musical, n hates even more that he’s always telling her to pay more attention to their kids (plural) instead of writing cats the musical sex slave fic - do you remember how I only mentioned the 7 year old son earlier. this is the first mention we hear of another kid - the next day something terrible happens

Image 2

- we MEET the other kid - he is 12 years old n he is a SERVER MODERATOR - this means he’s been fully privy to the active drafts of his mother’s super explicit cats the musical sex slave fanfic - apparently nobody on the server was aware this moderator was jazzie’s son either, because her genuine mutuals seem just as shocked as we do - at this point one of the real mutuals snaps n tells jazzie that while she loves TPSAM, kids shouldn’t be anywhere near it. a good half of the server enthusiastically agrees with this - jazzie takes this as a personal attack on her parenting abilities n the server fucking implodes - a couple days later the whole thing gets taken offline - abi gets a message from jazzie apologizing for the whole situation n thanking her for not attacking her like everyone else - I don’t have the energy left to tell her abi isn’t real, so abi says “thank you. it’s no problem” - there is brief discussion of reporting jazzie to some kind of authority, but we decide that’ll probably only make it worse for her kids, so we don’t - we figure she got the message to not involve her preteen son in the drafting of her sex slave fanfiction when all of her friends left her - TPSAM has not updated since. I really hope it’s because jazzie stopped neglecting her kids for it - it’s for the best she stopped. I hope her family is doing better now - but frankly I’m a bit sad we’ll never get lines like “can I cum in you?” “oui!” ever again

/End ID]

[electricbluebutterflies]

ebf's "context doesn't help" fic prompts, round 10

It's been over a year since I've compiled a list of things I probably shouldn't have said for y'all's fic-writing inspo, but here we go! Use for whatever fandoms / babes you want and feel free to tag me, I wanna see how my chaotic life results in other people's fic!

“I would like to keep the number of panic attacks I’ve had this week where it currently is.”

“You don’t understand revenge!”

“Even the devil has to fuck SOMEONE.”

“I shouldn’t lie.”

“Do you know (X)?” “Yes, why…?” “We’re getting married next weekend.”

“The more I hear about that the less I want to know.”

“He’s almost adorable.”

“Marriage is like eating a pineapple.”

“If you wear that much glitter, you’re not straight.”

“How many midlife crises is THAT?!”

“Did you realistically think he’d give you a weapon?” “NO.”

“I’m not sure he’s going to live long enough to get married.”

“Worrying about you is a good group bonding activity.”

“You were put into this world to punish someone. I’m not that person.”

“Threatening people is more direct than cleavage.”

“I’m not gonna kill anyone today!”

“You’re too much of a gentleman, just throw it!”

“I’m not bossy, I’m suggestive.”

“You don’t have court today, do you?”

“I’m not yelling, you’re just wrong.”

“I’m not panicked, I just have questions.”

“I don’t think that’s how hair of the dog works.”

“That’s my future wife!”

“We can’t disown you NOW but we can try.”

“I’m not fragile enough to be a trophy wife.”

“Three words: emotional. support. animal.”

“I am both a delicate flower and six foot even in heels.”

“You’re either going to fall in love with her or fight her in the parking lot.” “Probably both!”

“I didn’t even get to threaten you!”

“I am a highly emotional person.”

[scamanderishredmayniac]

Newt Appreciation Month, day 27: Top five Newt accounts!

Oh my gosh, this one’s going to be really hard. Ok before I start this is asking for Net specific accounts, not Eddie Redmayne ones specifically. However I might throw in just one or two Eddie ones, as I don’t really know many Newt specific ones. I think for me there are probably 4 that I follow and know about? I don’t know but here goes, in no specific order;

@newt-and-salamander we’ve becomes friends, and they’re just so sweet. Every now and then I get a sweet message from them, and that’s not something I get very often. She makes me smile, and we have so much fun being silly. Like Eddie, I value humour and sillyness in my friendships, so how could I not mention this account. One of the best. I’m blessed to have friends like this. Always encouraging me, and has kind words to lift up my confidence as I don’t have very good self esteem. My number 1 supporter.

@occamyeggshells friends! She helps me out, and was kind of helpful in making that prompt grid above. :)

@uefb I like some of her stories, they’re fascinating takes on Newt and his childhood as well as adulthood. And they write really well. I love a bit of Newt fanfic.

@afrenchaugurey well we have interesting conversations, and i like some of their fics too.

And for the last one I’m going to throw in an Eddie centric account, but someone who does post Newt stuff, and supports my blog a lot.

@eddieredmayneargentinablog also a really good, special friend of mine who supports me in everything I do. She has so much faith in me, even when I can’t see my own potential. I have really low self esteem and low confidence, but she is always there to encourage and give me confidence. She supports me in my art, my writing, always liking and reblogging my stuff and leaves me sweet comments sometimes. My number 1 supporter. I really appreciate friendships like this and again value it so much. So basically this one and new-and-salamander both are such encouraging friends who both support my creative works, and things.

There are so many other great Newt centric blogs out there, but I chose to do the ones that are most active and who I interact with currently or have done. Most the other accounts either don’t post much anymore at all, or I’ve never had interactions with. So I chose these as my top five. There are possibly two other accounts that support me and my blog, but they are Eddie centric not Newt centric, and it asks for five so I could only fit out of those to make up numbers. But I promise you, for everyone who interacts with me, and my blog, likes, reblogs my stuff and supports me, I really appreciate what you do. Weather you’re Newt centric or not. You are all appreciated, and even those who just follow me silently without much interaction, are still appreciated too.

[the-cryptographer]

I had this post in my drafts about how I’m completely at peace with the fact that Anders and Fenris never get along in canon. Like, I’ll write fics where they met under different circumstances, or were supported enough to feel like the other’s experiences were less of an attack on their personal identities, or were otherwise given external reasons to bury the hatchet. But in terms of the canon game, I think it did a very good job of highlighting the similarities between the characters while just- letting them trigger the fuck out of each other. Of course they’re not going to find the mental energy to be understanding with someone who rubs them this far the wrong way when they have to do it living the incredible stress of being both scrutinised by society at large and actively hunted. And I think that’s more powerful than anything else canon could have possibly said about them.

But then someone else made a surprisingly similar post and I went into the tags looking for other fenders shippers that reblogged it and, lmao, that did not go well for me. I feel like this was pretty predictable in retrospect. People who think they shouldn’t have gotten along in canon don’t wanna think about them being friends or kissing makes a certain kind of sense. But I feel a bit at a loss. I think the easiest way I can explain it is I like the ship bc I found the canon Anders-Fenris relationship narratively satisfying. So satisfying it was in many ways more interesting and revealing than their relationship with Hawke. Like- I definitely learned things about them from their Hawkemances. Like the kind of things they want from a relationship and the kind of devotion they want to express to another person and how. Or that they’re so desperate for Lord Amell’s affection and approval and help they’ll lie like there’s no tomorrow to get it. But, yeah, I definitely wouldn’t call either canon romance narratively satisfying in the same way Anders and Fenris hating each other and never getting along in canon precisely because they have each other’s number down perfectly was absolutely fucking delicious. And that makes me want to poke at them and examine them from all angles and test the lengths that I have to go to radically change the quality of their relationship in a way I wouldn’t with just any pair of characters.

[greenerteacups]

Frequently Asked Questions

Hi! If I’m asked a question more often than sometimes, it’s probably here. Static page also accessible at this link.

When is the next chapter coming out?

I update on Friday mornings, weekly, usually before noon PST. If it’s a Friday and you don’t see an update, it’s either because I’m on a writing break, or we’re in a hiatus between books. Or I've been hit by a car or something.

Do you have social media?

Aside from Tumblr — nope! I’m one of those hermit types. My AO3 account was previously the only place I was active online. I made a Tumblr so I could offer a platform to interact with people who are more comfortable here than in the AO3 comments section (for instance, there’s no anonymity function on AO3; you can log out and comment as a guest, but that’s a lot of work, and then there's not an easy way to check if your question was answered.)

Can I tag you in [thing]?

Yeah! I check back in here every few days, on average, to scope out my inbox and my mentions. If you make something for my fic, I’ll publicize it everywhere, obviously.

Can I bind your fics?

Yep! Carte blanche. I don’t own the copyright for anything I write, so I appreciate the thoughtfulness of people asking, but you can absolutely go ahead and do whatever the hell you want with the text of my fic. Print it, paint it, burn it, bind it, turn it into blackout poetry. Transformative art is human nature. But if you do, please, please, show me! I’ll scream for a thousand years.

Caveat: I’ve seen some people have anxieties about the sale of bound fics for profit, since they’re worried about publishers cracking down on copyright violation and litigating fanfiction. This is tough, because on the one hand, bookbinding can be expensive; on the other hand, selling fic is a violation of copyright, and the only way AO3 is allowed to exist is by authors making precisely $0 from anything they post. (This is why AO3 will boot you immediately if they catch you trying to make money from non-original works on their site — if I so much as drop a PayPal link in the description for Lionheart, the fic will quickly be taken down, and my account could be suspended.) So my stance is: I’m not going to sell my fics; if you bind for personal use, this doesn’t matter, go for it, live deliciously, etc; if you bind to sell, please be careful and discreet as you can. But you have my OK, for what it’s worth.

Can I translate your fics?

Yes, of course.

Will you write other things, besides Lionheart?

Eventually, yeah. Probably nothing longform soon, however. When I’m writing something, I get engrossed in the world and I sort of tunnel-vision onto the project. When Lionheart goes on a hiatus between books, I may pop out and do something else, just to keep my skills sharp and give my mind a break. That’s where shorter pieces like The Climb and SWLITS came from. But I keep my eyes on the prize, as far as what I’m writing, because I pride myself on having finished most (though admittedly, not all) things I’ve ever started on AO3. I hate having unfinished projects  cluttering up my Works page. 

I don’t read WIPs. When will Lionheart be finished/should I read Lionheart?

Listen, I’m not gonna tell anyone how to read fic. If your reading preferences make you happy, then you’re doing it right. And I’ve also been burned by remarkable WIPs that peter out, or die on a cliffhanger, and they just about break my heart. I can’t promise that won’t happen, because I don’t know what life holds in store. I also can’t promise when Lionheart will be finished, because, frankly, I have no idea! As a full-book rewrite, if you look at the current chapter count, and then look at the number of books in the series, then, yeah, it clearly has a long way to go.

But I also know that the Completed Works filter on AO3 is hiding a lot of good fic, and I think people who only read completed stuff are missing out on the real fun of update culture — of reading something serially, the excitement of waiting for the next chapter to drop, looking for clues about long-running puzzles, theorizing in the comments, getting to experience each new hit live. That’s one of the few things about fanfic that you can’t get in a novel, and it’s a real treat. I’d at least give it a try.

Otherwise, here’s what I can tell you: Books 1, 2, 3, and 4 will all be finished. They will have completed endings, and will offer (satisfying, I hope) resolutions to the major conflicts of those stories. And that’s a fact.

[sintreaties]

Let's be real u love the anon who asked u lots of question right?

Allow me to thank you for this question, because it gave me the chance to speak about something that’s been intriguing me for a while (albeit it’s more of a personal reflection, rather than a conversation with you specifically).

I’ve been answering anon asks for years and because this was my first experience being active in fandom spaces, I’ve come to consider it as a sort of social experiment.

To answer your question: no, I do not enjoy the last few asks. I don’t appreciate when people don’t take the hint and keep sending them.

In part, of course, it’s because I’ve grown tired. Tired of Kakegurui, but also of some of its fans. The asks I used to receive were also much more engaging and some were actually quite funny! Some anons were nice enough to come here just to share something they enjoyed, something unrelated to KKG, because they thought that I’d enjoy it too. I appreciate those anons a lot and I hope they’re having a nice day, just like the anons who reached out to talk about my fics and discuss what they liked or disliked about them.

I can’t remember if I mentioned it here, but for me, the anons of this blog are the equivalent of strangers stopping me in the streets while I’m minding my business. Some people ask for directions (meaning, some come here asking for writing advice and such) and if I can help them, it is my pleasure to do so. Some people come up to me to strike a conversation, and although I don’t always have the patience or the interest to indulge them, I do my best to reply.

And then there’s… the others.

Those are the ones that puzzle me. I don’t take what they say personally, nor do I give it much weight, because in the end, they’re still just strangers on the internet, but I’m still genuinely curious about why they do the things they do. It’s not like I’ve lost sleep over it but even as a writer, I’m very, very interested in understanding this kind of humanity. Everything has a reason, if you care to search for it.

So those anons, right. Some of them don’t even follow me: Why are they here?

Of course, one of the reasons is that this is an open space. You can come in, do your thing, get out. I’ll never know who you are so you don’t really feel like there’s going to be any substantial consequence to what you say.

There’s this quote by Robert A. Caro that goes, “When you have enough power to do what you always wanted to do, then you’re really gonna see what you always wanted to do.”

So you have the power to be rude, and stupid and nonsensical, right?

But why would you do it?

Like, if someone was to tell me “Hey, I don’t appreciate your avances”, well, I wouldn’t send them this kind of stuff:

I’d feel like a loser, you see? I’d show no manners to the person who’s repeatedly said that they don’t appreciate this kind of messages (most importantly when those who send them are really trying to get my cell number!!!) and I’d also show such an incredible loneliness and hopelessness that I couldn’t help but be ashamed of myself.

Plus you’re doing this where everyone can see you! You’re on anon yes, but you know that you’re the one who wrote that stupid, rude or nonsensical ask. How can you not be embarassed about it? I suppose you’re either dumb enough to lack self-awareness or you’re so insecure that you’re much beyond that to torture yourself with silly concepts like dignity and self-respect.

I don’t mean it as an insult, really, I’m just trying to draw my own conclusions here. My power fantasy is to be a good, kind, interesting person in a community of equally good and nice and interesting people and yours is… this? Why?

Reading some of these asks feels like getting a glimpse of someone’s intrusive thoughts. You can tell that they didn’t stop to think before sending them. My mutuals have to thank me, because despite what I’ve been told recently by a friend, I still spare them the worst ones (which, curiously, have only really started to appear recently). This kind of stuff gives me such bad second-hand embarassment that if I try to put myself in the anon’s shoes I deal myself psychic damage.

Most of those people don’t even come to me because I’m Sintreaties and they have a problem specifically with Sintreaties. The problematic anons either disregard or forget the fact that they’re real, living people talking to another real, living person — who, incidentally, has nothing to do with them.

And it’s incredible, because again, I wouldn’t be able to act like some of you! Sometimes it helps to think that no matter how many times I’ve hit rock bottom, I’ve never sent anon hate nor have I ever harrassed someone online just because I could. But then, even in videogames I never pick the “bad route”. What’s the fun in that? If I have to be mean and pick a fight with someone, hell, let it be a fight that can win me something more than whatever you get from arguing with Twitter users.

In the end, the question for me isn’t “why are you doing this to me”.

For me, the question becomes: why are you doing this to yourselves?

Bro, go for a walk! Talk to your friends, and if you’ve got none, go ahead and make some! Go for a coffee all by yourself and joke with the guy at the counter! Jesus Christ man, you can do better than waste your time sending that kind of asks to a random person on the internet! You show so little self-love that I can’t help but feel compassion. Where’s your dignity? Where’s your self-respect, the innate, human drive that pushes us to be better, no matter what? If you’re so lonely and insecure, do something about it! The world is full of people who wish to be your friend and to know you for who you are. Take care of yourself, for god’s sake!

“Lighten up, it’s not that deep” — for some of you, yeah. We’re talking about the same people who can barely read and comprehend a manga, I don’t expect them to understand my point.

(And I don’t mean it as a “look at me, I am so superior to you, because I actually use my head to think things critically and I’m still in touch with my emotions even in online settings.”)

For you it’s just one or two weird asks. Since 2019, I’ve received hundreds of them.

Again, I’m still relatively new to fandom. I’ve “only” been around for a few years and I’ve mostly only interacted with KKG fans. I’ve also always tried to curate my experience, which is already lacking on its own compared to someone who’s been around for decades. On that note, I wonder if some older, more experienced users would like to share their opinions on the matter — on anon too, or course.

I still want to keep my askbox open, because some anons really have something new and interesting to bring to the table. Remember though: it’s not 2020 anymore. From now on, I really do suggest thinking well about an ask before sending it.

And on a final note, I’m told that one of my asks made it to the KKG struggles account on Twitter so I’d personally like to thank and shake hands with all the anons that made it possible🤝🍾🎉

[bluedalahorse]

The Saraugust tag on AO3 and other thoughts

I track saraugust on AO3. I know I talk about what their fanfic landscape looks like a lot, so I wanted to mention the actual numbers. There are about 90 fics tagged Sara Eriksson/August Horn of Årnäs on AO3, in a fandom that’s currently sitting at about 5000 works. Of those 90 fics:

The vast majority of them are fics focused on another pairing, with summaries that hint of Sara/August comes up it’s because it’s mentioned, and not a developed subplot.

Of the ones focused on another pairing, handful of these focus on another pairing including either Sara or August (e.g. Sara/Felice or August/Vincent) and include Sara/August because it’s part of the backstory. Fair enough!

Some of the fics that do include Sara/August include it just to sink it or make it tragic. (Admittedly this includes two of my own fics; I have a goal of writing them with a more hopeful ending in the future but we’re not there yet until we finish grad school. And I’m a slut for tragedy so I can deal with a tragic take on their relationship. That said, I have also discovered mean-spirited fic among the stuff that purports to be tragic, which I feel less good about.)

A small number of fics include a kink that is Not My Kink enough that it’s a squick for me. While I’m a firm believer in trying almost anything, I feel the polite thing to do with squicks is to salute the author from afar but also not read the fic myself. YKINMKATO, as we used to say in the old days.

The remaining handful of Sara/August fics are fics I have already read or written.

So when I call sargust or saraugust a rarepair, I promise I’m not just being dramatic and whiny. I mean I am a bit, but ;) I know there are pairs that are rarer, that don’t actually get canon screentime. I probably can’t complain too much, because my imagination is active enough that I write fics for the characters in my head, and those would also be written to my tastes. So you know, I manage.

On a pure level of fandom sociology, relatively independent of my own feelings, this fascinates me. I had initially assumed that Sara and August would pick up some kind of organized following after season 2. They kind of fit an archetype that a portion of fandom kids go wild for (the reylo/darklina/delena/chair/dramione/zutara/hopefully you know what I mean by now archetype) but they also kind of… don’t fit that at all? I didn’t expect (or want!) anything that pervasive and juggernaut-ish, goodness no, but given the sort of “nostalgic for livejournal era fandom” quality of YR’s writing and its appeal to people of many ages, I thought Sara and August might pick up some “I shipped [whatever pairing] back in the day and this made me nostalgic for it but I also want to think a little more deeply about it than I did in the past” fans. I figure Wilhelm and Simon were picking up those kinds of fans, too—the way they are written also makes me nostalgic for a certain era of fanfiction, and part of what I like about wilmon is that chance to feel nostalgic but also to reflect on some of the power dynamics at hand. Especially after season 3, I see both ships as ones I approach with my critical lenses nearby.

Anyway. The show is making commentary on and deconstructing the notion of a bad boy crush (that has to be true, given August’s “award” at third year dinner and how much he wants to reject it) but it’s also leaning into the earnestness of Sara’s feelings. Lisa’s approach to writing that fascinated me and drew me in—it felt so much more raw and honest than leaning into a bad boy fantasy entirely without questioning it, or on the other side of things, rolling one’s eyes at the fantasy and saying “of course we’re too enlightened for this, unlike the Other Girls.” I never really had a full-on reylo/darklina/delena/chair/dramione/zutara/whatever era growing up—well, ok, I was into Devil’s Minion back before it was cool and the Vampire Chronicles was only books, maybe that counts even though it’s m/m? Maybe reading Jane Eyre counts? Idk. I am not like the other girls but I am exactly like the other girls. We are both at once.

But maybe, Sara and August are also sort of sitting in this uncanny valley, and that uncanny valley puts a lot of people off. I love that about them and I’ve built myself a house here and been very comfortable, but one day I poked my head outside the window and gone, “my goodness! We sure are in an uncanny valley. Why do I have so few neighbors?”

And I also can’t ignore the bullying anon (and not anon) comments I’ve seen out there in the internet wild, and the role they play in discouraging people from writing fic/making edits/etc. The general consensus is that YR fandom is very nice and I have seen that, but I have also seen times when it isn’t. In any fandom, there are outside forces that shape AO3 numbers.

Incidentally, bestie @coruscantrhapsody and I have discussed it a lot. She is in Star Wars fandom and is a huge Anidala shipper, and sees some similar trends in the Anidala tag. There’s more fics there of course, because Star Wars is a much much bigger fandom, but proportion-wise, she sees similar trends in that Anidala will be tagged in a lot of fics but will not actually feature. (Many of the fics are Codywan or maybe Obikin or something.) Plus there is also a fair amount of discourse (TM) around like, being an Anidala shipper means you’re somehow brainwashed by hetero trad patriarchy or something.

(Why do we always assume that shipping an m/f pairing makes you brainwashed by the heterosexual patriarchy? I’m queer, about 80% of the art I like is queer queer queer—that’s how I found YR after all—god forbid the pairing my brain fixates on in that show is m/f! I’m not going to call them straight because hey, do we really know that? We don’t.)

Anyway. I’m thinking about all this today because today marks the beginning of my graduate school work, and outside of Heart and Homeland there will be no more work on fics until mid January. I’m hoping I’ll be able to pick up my saraugust fics again, so I can at least put my money where my mouth is and write what I want to read, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that for sure, and I’m also not sure if I have more than one fic in me. And that… kind of makes me a little bit sad. So I just wanted to acknowledge that I’m feeling sad about the fics I’ll probably only get to daydream about and never write, and about other fics by other people that I would have loved to read but were probably never written for whatever reason.

So that’s where we are. I’ve made this post unrebloggable and untagged because I don’t want a Big Fandom Discussion or discourse about it. I don’t mind replies and people sharing their thoughts though, as long as:

You don’t tell me you’re sorry I don’t have more fanfic to my liking. I mostly say this because people have very kindly said sorry, and I very much do appreciate the sympathy most days. But today I don’t think I need sympathy so much as willingness to sit with me and analyze what’s going on. I’m in analysis place.

You don’t say something reductive along the lines of “Well actually August sucks!” Because yeah, yeah he does, quite a lot. I am up for discussion of his flaws in a nuanced way but the absolute flattening of him to villainspace is not something I wanna do today either. Fandom also has a time-honored tradition of meaningfully engaging with characters who suck. Writers have a time-honored tradition of meaningfully engaging with characters who suck. It’s one of the things that we do! You know, as people.

So anyway those are my thoughts. Thank you for reading this far! Would appreciate the thoughts of others who are up for it.

[pintobordeaux]

I saw a post about y'all vs. you guys and I have two ideas:

1. What if Clark says "y'all" and Superman says "you guys"?

2. I kinda need a fic now with all the misunderstandings around "yea, no" and "no, yeah".

Okay okay okay you must be on the same wavelength as me because ever since those posts started going around I have been thinking about this exact topic.

First - I personally think that Clark would say y’all but Superman would actually be a bit more formal most of the time. Some examples below:

~*~

Clark: Ya’ll okay?

Superman: Is everyone okay?

~*~

Clark: ya’ll’l never get away with this!

Superman: You will never get away with this!

~*~

Clark: I’ve got you! Ya’ll are gonna be okay.

Superman: I’ve got you! You guys are going to be okay.

Etc etc. I imagine he would say “you guys” to the right audience, but overall I personally headcannon that when he’s Superman he actively tries to hide some of his affectations that might give away where he’s from. Both as a way to protect those he loves and not bias other people against him or let him think that he could be from anywhere so he’s accepted everywhere, ya know?

Someone either on tumblr or in a fic I read once (if you know where please mention it so I can properly source!) mentioned Superman accidentally slipping that he was from Kansas while rescuing someone as a way to connect with them. Buuuuuut then realized how stupid that was and started telling everyone he rescued he was from where they were to cover his tracks. And that has always stuck with me as exactly the type of thing he’d do. Head empty - no thoughts - connect with others and save everyone he can and think nothing of his own security (or even sometimes how his own actions can effect the security of those he loves - at least when he’s young and just starting out)

BUT - this leads me to a second point on topic #1 (and into #2) Which is the beautiful, hilarious possibility of code switching between Clark and Superman ways of speaking in different situations.

Just imagine Superman in the watchtower. He just got done kicking some villain’s ass. He’s simply covered in some sort of alien goo and a light powdering debris from his fight and desperately needs a shower. Several of the other members are sitting around playing cards/shooting the shit when he walks in.

“Oh man Superman you look rough my dude.”

And because it’s been a hard fight and he’s also thinking about his personal problems he snaps back without watching his vocabulary. “If y’all’d’ve helped a little more maybe I wouldn’t be so—” He gestures to the suit and its immediate need for cleaning.

And wouldn’t that just stop them in their tracks a little. Big blue just said…y’all? Not only y’all but a strange rushed conjunction that feels out of place for him (they think). But then. THEN. He keeps doing it. Little bits and pieces slipping out to his fellow superheroes and friends.

“I’m fixin to go to China for a ribbon cutting ceremony. All y’all want takeout?”

“No. Yeah. I’ll be there. You coming with?”

“Mom really made the best pies for the state fair this year. Y’all’d’ve loved it if y’all’d’ve come.”

"Oh for cryin' out loud. Batman isn’t that scary. Just talk to the man, he’ll understand.”

Whiiiich brings me all the way back around to your point number two. God I would LOVE a fic full of misunderstandings. And one around “no, yeah” and “yeah, no” would be so much fun! I don’t know if I’m the person to write it because I literally say those two things in my head with such different inflections that I can’t confuse them. But it would be ~g l o r i o u s~ if it happened! I’ve been trying to wrack my brain for a good scenario in which they could be confused.

Maybe one where Bruce finally gets the courage to ask Clark around for dinner. “Are you free for dinner this Sunday at 5?” “No, yeah.” And Bruce just walks away unsure of if Clark understood or not? I know I personally have a habit of adding more to my sentences that sort of clarify “no, yeah” via context. Like, “No, yeah. I’ll be there.”

But “yeah, no” ? Now that one is easily said alone. But I personally always say it with a bit of distaste on the no, or laced sarcasm. Or as a question. So here’s some scenarios for anyone who needs examples of this

Person 1: You going to that party?

Person 2: Yeah, no. (No said with a hint of ‘I’d rather get teeth pulled without Novocain’)

Person 1: Did you get a raise this year?

Person 2: Yeah, no (No said with anger)

Person 1: Did you remember to do [insert chore/obligation that is ridiculous]?

Person 2: Yeah, no (No said as in ‘I am not going to do that. I never planned on foing that. I’m laughing on the No because it’s such a stupid ask)

Person 1: Did you do the dishes?

Person 2: Yeah, no? (Sort of. This means sort of, kind of, in a roundabout way, but probably not the way the question asker intended)