#a good number of these are things that i’m either actively writing fics about or want to write about in the future

[hear-that-music-in-the-air]

Ada and Ian Headcanons (Rhythm Doctor)

this got Long As Hell i'm sorry lmao. headcanons under the cut!!

Ada:

- We know that Ian is a radiologist, but I think Ada is probably a general practitioner/primary care physician! If she's canonically a cardiologist (bc heart stuff) then that's my bad lmao. But based on what we see in the game, she doesn't really seem to specialize in anything. She instead seems to have a wide range of medical knowledge and we see her treating a variety of different illnesses/injuries, including Mr. Stevenson's broken leg and Lucky's torn rotator cuff. We know that she's been having to do pretty much everything around the hospital bc they're so understaffed, and primary care physicians usually have fairly extensive medical knowledge covering multiple fields, which I think is what allows her to do that.

- One of my biggest hcs about Ada is that she has a very strained relationship with her parents, and that her parents are also both doctors, though I imagine they're close to retirement by now. However, unlike Ada, they both specialize in highly specific fields like brain surgery or something (I actually do imagine her dad to be a neurosurgeon lmao), and because they're both so successful they have incredibly high expectations of her. They look down on her for choosing to be a GP/primary care physician because they think of that work as somehow less important/less worth her time. They're the kind of people who absolutely have a superiority complex about being doctors and ~saving lives~. Also definitely not the kind of people who should have had kids. They're distant at best and extremely judgmental and condescending at worst.

- Ada has one younger sister who's six years younger. Because their parents were always so busy with their careers, Ada basically grew up taking care of her sister, which definitely contributed to her mentality of feeling responsible for everyone all the time. Her sister moved out of their parents' house as soon as possible and is currently attending college somewhere far away, but she and Ada still keep in touch. Ada being an eldest daughter just makes too much sense to me lmao

- I like to think that Ada is an extremely affectionate person by nature. But because of growing up with emotionally distant parents, she doesn't ever really expect for that affection to be returned, especially from Ian who's not very outwardly affectionate most of the time. So when he does go out of his way to express affection it means a lot to her :)

- Because of the way her parents are, I think she kind of has an unconscious mentality of "no one is ever going to love me as much as I love them." She also struggles with people-pleasing tendencies (taking on more work than she can handle, having difficulty saying no to people) and self-esteem issues. So whenever someone goes out of their way to show her love, it kind of catches her off guard lol

- Ada's primary love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation (I'll explain this more below lol). She's REALLY big on physical touch—Ian generally does not like physical touch and one of the only people he tolerates/enjoys it from is Ada. Though I definitely think acts of service is one of her love languages too, as seen in Middlesea College Life. I simply think that she has so many love languages because she's FULL of love

- I imagine Ada as someone who feels her emotions very strongly, and who is generally just a highly emotional and empathetic person. Her empathy makes her good at connecting with the patients, but it also means that she feels everything so much all the time and it can be overwhelming for her sometimes. She’s undoubtedly very intelligent, but I think she’s still very much a heart over head type of person. She also cries pretty easily, though she has to try her best to keep it under wraps at work. The list of movies that make her cry is extensive, which Ian lovingly teases her for.

- Ada is extremely nearsighted and can't see much at all without her glasses. Because of this one of her favorite jokes is saying “I’ve seen enough” and taking her glasses off lmao

- Courtesy of @nightmun: Ada earnestly loves dad jokes, puns, and anything similar. Ian gets her a joke book as a gift once and regrets it immediately.

Ada, incredibly excited: IAN WHAT DOES A LEMON SAY WHEN IT PICKS UP THE PHONE

Ian: …what?

Ada: YELLOW!! *WHEEZE*

Ian: <:)

(this is the fifth one she’s told him today)

Ian:

- Ian’s mother is a single mom and his dad left when he was ten, hence why Ian is currently the only one taking care of her. Ian was also an only child. I imagine he and his mom are very close since it’s just been the two of them for so long, so her illness has really been taking a toll on him.

- Ian is bilingual and speaks Mandarin! I don’t think he has a canon ethnicity in-game (though please correct me if I’m wrong), but I’ve been thinking of him as Chinese Canadian, in line with @pokeblog123’s headcanon that Middlesea is in Canada. I imagine he and his mom speak Mandarin at home sometimes.

- I think Ian probably did robotics and/or coding as hobbies in high school and college! We know that he’s insanely tech-savvy, and he seems to have quite a talent for programming. In that same vein, another one of Ian's hobbies is buying old/vintage video game consoles from garage sales, on eBay, etc. and taking them apart to see how they work, sometimes also restoring them if he can.

- I know this is a pretty popular hc already but I think Ian is autistic/generally neurodivergent lol. I do try to write him with this in mind

- Related to that, Ian struggles with social cues to a certain degree, and subsequently has more trouble connecting with the patients than Ada. His little character card says he’s “better with computers than people” and I think this is probably because people are just difficult for him to read. Computers are much simpler; they’re predictable and generally do what they’re programmed to do. People are a lot more complicated. I do think he’s learned to read Ada fairly well simply because he’s known her for so long

- Ian's primary love language is acts of service/gift-giving. He struggles with physical touch and with verbalizing his feelings so he shows his love by doing things for people instead (which was part of the inspiration for my fic "Helping Hand"). If he goes out of his way to do something for you, that’s how you know he really cares. He's an actions over words type of guy :)

- Ian can be very blunt and straightforward, as we see in the game, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care. We know from game dialogue that he regularly encourages Ada to take breaks and is generally concerned for her wellbeing, and we can also infer that he worries a great deal about his mother. He definitely cares, he just has different ways of showing it.

- Ian normally doesn’t cry very easily and he also doesn’t like to cry in front of other people, but my hc for why he cried at the Stevensons’ reunion is because it reminded him of his own sick mother, who’s been alone ever since his dad left. He’s usually not one to cry in public but that just got to him. I like to think that Ada checked up on him afterwards.

(ACT 5 SPOILERS)

- Although he doesn't really show it, I think Ian probably feels a certain amount of guilt for everything that's happened with Connectifia Abortus, especially now that it's been revealed that the virus originated from the system he created. He knows that the rhythm defibrillator system could put the patients in danger if the virus keeps getting worse, and he's been working day and night to try to fix it. Of course, Edega's demand for a "miracle cure" at the expense of caution and safety certainly isn't helping matters. Given that Ada also needs treatment on occasion, one of Ian's biggest fears is that Ada will get hurt because of the virus (and, he thinks, because of him).

BOFA THEM:

- I think Ada was Ian's first, and possibly only, good friend at college. I imagine they met through their shared classes and Ada was one of the only people who made a point to talk to him. After that she sort of just stuck around, much to Ian’s initial surprise. He had always struggled with making friends and he was hesitant to open up to her at first, but her persistence and genuine sincerity eventually won him over. Now they’re best friends :)

- I've seen other people say that they were probably roommates at some point in college/med school and I definitely think so too. I'm sure they pulled a lot of all-nighters together lol

- Once Ada and Ian became close friends, I like to imagine that she also got to know Ian's mother. She's always gotten along with her very well, and because her own parents were so distant, Ada came to think of her as somewhat of a parental figure. When Ian's mom first got sick and started requiring intensive care, Ada insisted on helping out with anything they needed.

- What I was referencing above about Ada and physical affection: I think Ada might be somewhat touch-starved because of my headcanon that her parents aren't very affectionate people. She craves physical touch and words of affirmation because she never got much of that from her parents. Once Ian figures this out, he tries his best to do those things for her even though it doesn't come as naturally to him (as in like, he’s normally not one to initiate hugs but he’ll give Ada a hug if he can tell that she needs it).

- Ian’s pragmatism balances out Ada’s bleeding-heart altruism, and vice versa. I think over years of friendship they’ve learned to appreciate the other’s perspective and find a middle ground, though of course that’s not always possible in high-stress medical situations.

- Ada doesn’t really understand anything about the online games that Ian plays, but she probably uses gamer lingo incorrectly on purpose just to annoy him lmao

- Unrelated to anything but I think one of their favorite pastimes is hate-watching Grey's Anatomy together and making fun of all the medical inaccuracies (I’ve never watched Grey’s Anatomy but I’ve heard there are many). Despite this they’re both low-key invested but neither of them wants to admit it lol

Anyway I love them. In my mind they are besties who get married for tax benefits. Thank you for your time if you read this far lmao

[m1ssunderstanding]

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day 20

I literally got second-hand anxiety hearing, “How many numbers do you think you’ll have by tomorrow?”. I was like. TOMORROW? They are Not ready. The only reason the rooftop works out is because they’re the fucking Beatles. No one else would pull that out of their butts so well. 

If only John could’ve listened to Glyn about Klein. smh

Classic Paul. Starts out saying “us” ends up just talking about John. “The best bit of us always has been, and always will be, is when we’re backs against the wall and we’ve been rehearsing, rehearsing, rehearsing. And he knows it’s a take on the dub. And he does it great.” It’s okay, Paul. We all know you like to get him up against a wall. No but seriously, Paul is not okay about John. 

Takes every opportunity to flirt, doesn’t he?

“I can’t wait to work here, you know . . . I mean, here in our life, it’s like home.” It’s the gentleness, yeah. But it’s the focus, too. Most people (I know I would) would be so done with him and his anxiety spirals and his neuroses and over-thinking on and on and on by this point. John probably is, but he shows no sign of that fatigue at all. He is zeroed in on working him through this. He’s done it a million times before, and he’s ready to do it as many more times as Paul needs. Ugh, they make me into such a sap!

“Yeah, well that’s why I’m talking to John, not you.” If Paul can talk like that to George Martin, one of the most respected men in his life, when he’s in the middle of a thing with John, imagine how he must’ve bullied other people that tried to worm their way in. 

That smile he gives George though! That’s how he got away with all his shit, isn’t it? So fucking cute.

“I agree with you, I think it’s disappointing, but all right, we only got to seven. Let’s do seven.” The tone of voice, man. So. Fucking. Gentle. No wonder Paul can't stand the projected "acerbic, tough Lennon" shit. If that was how someone treated you and took care of you? And then everyone acts like that part of them just didn't exist, and emphasizes the parts of them that they themselves hated and actively worked against? Yeah I'd be pretty pissed too.

Glyn reassuring Paul that there’s no reason they can’t come back and do a TV show later. Yeah, fifty years later. 

John’s eyes constantly flicking back to Paul as George is talking . . . 

George really does take so much better care of himself than the other three at this time. Pictured here, silently begging viewers like you to chip in just ninety-eight cents toward his freedom.

I actually think, though, that if Ringo had said he didn’t want to go on the roof either at that moment, that they wouldn’t have done it. I think they look to him for common sense in their decision-making, and Ringo saying he didn’t want to do it really might’ve broken the whole thing.

George’s reaction to Ringo voting for the roof VS John. It’s giving tragic heroine VS villain origin story

Honestly heartbroken at the “I love you, blue”. How many times did John just straight up say those words to Paul only for Paul to be completely unresponsive? That genuinely hurt to watch.

The tiny little looks they give each other. “Okay. We got this.”

“Fuck all that. I’m just gonna do me for a bit.” Good for you, baby. 

“I had a good dream last night, you’re black or you’re white, you want equal rights.” I know some people say it’s hypocritical or preachy or whatever, but I ADORE this John. Look how fucking happy he’s making Billy right now and then talk to me about how John’s political side is meaningless. I think it’s beautiful.

I think it’s actually too embarrassing for them at this point to sing Two of Us without being insane.

“We’re all sleeping at Georgie’s tonight. Get in the mood.” Oh how I wish they actually had. I mean, maybe they did. Someone write the fic!

Oh, the “who knows, Yoko,” moment. It’s so embarrassing. The fact that there was just no response whatsoever. Yeesh. 

So many nerves when I saw the camera zooming into that circled date with “Rooftop Concert” written on it. What is wrong with me?

[hitlikehammers]

hitlikehammers' Hobbit-Birthday Fic-Giving Fest

So you know how Hobbits celebrate their birthdays by giving gifts, rather than receiving them?

WELCOME TO MY HOBBIT-STYLE BIRTHDAY FIC-GIVING PROMPT FEST!!!

wherein YOU prompt ME to write stuff, and to clarify from the outset: YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE FOLLOWING ME TO PARTICIPATE. Did you find this at random? Via reblog? Just kinda want a fic but don’t want my babble regularly on your feed? I. DO. NOT. CARE. This is my birthday month (well, soon) and I want to be giving and gregarious and generous and generally positive about writing little gifts so: prompt anyway.

THE RULES

✨ You have THREE (3) choices for prompting

CONCEPT PROMPTS: basically Ao3 tags, or close enough—pick one, give me a little direction if you don’t want me to just write ~anything~, and then you’re all set SONG PROMPTS: pick a song, ideally also pick a lyric from the song, and if you want to give me some short direction for it go ahead; these are the largely-random choice of Spotify on shuffle; it got kinda moody and angsty on me and picked songs I was never huge into and some from legitimately years ago but: the algorithm prevails DIALOGUE PROMPTS: either inspiration or to be included in the fic, I cannot guarantee either way but if you have a STRONG PREFERENCE, you should point that out; and again, if you want to provide a couple words of direction: do so

✨ if I am already writing you a gift fic for something else: THIS IS DIFFERENT (also shorter so even MORE DIFFERENT)—ask again if you want to, you’re more than welcome, honestly it’s more a gift for me because…hobbity-birthday 

✨ you have to MESSAGE/ASK ME or COMMENT ON THIS POST with your prompt because I am going to miss it if you reblog or tag or whatever-other-means-of-telling-me that is not a message/ask/comment, and that would be v sad ✨ I will only be writing ONE FIC PER PROMPT, so if you like one? Grab it. If I haven't had time to edit the list (which is likely because timezones and my work schedule) and they get duplicated, I'll reach out to the second claimer for a new prompt.

✨ if you’re not okay with NSWF content, you need to state that in the prompting message; I’m not saying you’re going get NSFW stuff, but if you’re absolutely against it, gotta flag that in advance 

✨ because someone asked: if you want to attach one of these to one of my existing fics/‘verses, include that because that’s usually super fun and there are only maybe two fics I wouldn’t try to follow up with a tiny thing on request

✨ the default ship right now is my most currently active one: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson. If you want to prompt a ship that is not Steddie, note that and check if I’m familiar with it here, or take your chances; I’ll message you if it’s not something I write

SO: pick one of the prompt lists above and send it my way so I can start writing you words.

PROMPTS ARE OPEN THROUGH 31 JANUARY 💜

so...y'know. Prompt me. It's my BIRTHDAY 🎉

also if you hate links have all the prompts, here: below

✨

CONCEPT PROMPTS: pick one, a provide a little direction with 2-3 words, up to a sentence

Merperson/Siren AU

Monsterfucking

Wrong Number/Wrong Blind Date AU

Hurt/Comfort

Baked Goods (as in: prompt me with a pastry you’d like to be eating rn)

Secret Relationship 

Royalty AU

Established Relationship 

Dark AU

Near-Death Experience

Missed Connection AU 

Cocktails (as in: prompt me with how your mixologist knows you)

Misunderstandings

Pre-Season 4

Domestic Fluff

Creaturefic

[Character]-Has-Powers

Vampire AU

PWP

Famous AU

Presumed Dead/Emotional Reunions 

Soulmate AU

Whump

First Times

Warm Drinks (as in: prompt me using what you order from your barista)

Magic AU

Fluff

Meet Cute/Ugly

Nightmares

Angels/Demons AU

SONG PROMPTS: pick a song, ideally a lyric FROM the song and a word or two for context of your intended prompting

Never Tear Us Apart—INXS

I Will Wait—Mumford & Sons

Any Other World—MIKA

The Days Of The Phoenix—A.F.I.

Manhattan Skyline—a-ha

Jilted Lovers & Broken Hearts—Brandon Flowers

Why Can’t This Be Love—Van Halen

The Navesink Banks—Gaslight Anthem

Holocene—Bon Iver

Wicked Campaign—Modest Mouse

Follow—Brandi Carlile 

Jesus Christ—Brand New

Little Talks—Of Monsters and Men

Clever Meals—Tegan and Sara

Will Anybody Ever Love Me?—Sufjan Stevens

A Light On In The Dark—Darlingside

To Build A Home—The Cinematic Orchestra

sever the blight—hemlocke springs

These Things—She Wants Revenge 

The Light Behind Your Eyes—My Chemical Romance

Come Undone—Duran Duran

Song For Zula—Phosphorescent 

Last Words of a Shooting Star—Mitski

This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody)—Talking Heads

Majesty—Madrugada

Fake Empire—The National

A Dustland Fairytale—The Killers

Fast Car—Tracy Chapman  

At The Bottom Of Everything—Bright Eyes

The Trapeze Swinger—Iron & Wine

QUOTE PROMPTS: pick one, and if you have a context, I’ll take up to 3 words as direction

“That’s… not what that means.” 

”They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops, and that's true.”

“…Why?” 

“Now, I’m not going to deny that I was aware of your beauty. But the point is, this has nothing to do with your beauty. As I got to know you, I began to realise that beauty was the least of your qualities. I became fascinated by your goodness. I was drawn in by it.”

“I’ve never felt this way before.” 

”So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard, and we're gonna have to work at this every day."

“What are you doing?”

“I cannot let you burn me up, nor can I resist you. No mere human can stand in a fire and not be consumed.”

“I assume I deserve this, but can you tell me why you want to kill me this time?”

”We aren't here to make things perfect."

“You meant the world to me. I should have protected you.” 

"You're the first boy I ever kissed... and I want you to be the last."

“What? Like it’s hard?”

“Every atom of your flesh is as dear to me as my own: in pain and sickness it would still be dear.”

“Who did this to you?” 

“I want to tell you with my remaining strength that I love you. I always have. I'll drift next to you every day as a ghost just to be with you. Even if I was banished to the darkest place, my love will keep me from being a lonely spirit."

“You here to finish me off, sweetheart?”

”When I first saw you, I felt like I knew you, and I couldn't stop seeing my life with you, and building a family together. One that isn't stuck in the pain of the past. It's very pretty."

“You’re worth so much more than me.” 

“I’ve never had a moment’s doubt. I love you. I believe in you completely. You are my dearest one.”

“This isn’t going to end well.” 

"Truth is, sometimes I miss you so much I can hardly stand it."

“Please! You have to let me make this right.” 

“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”

“You’re a monster.”

“You and I, it’s as though we have been taught to kiss in heaven and sent down to earth together, to see if we know what we were taught.”

“You don’t want this.” 

“You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love--I love--I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.”

“Why did you lie?”

”I don't want to sound foolish, but remember love is what brought you here. And if you've trusted love this far, don't panic now. Trust it all the way." 

[pintobordeaux]

I saw a post about y'all vs. you guys and I have two ideas:

1. What if Clark says "y'all" and Superman says "you guys"?

2. I kinda need a fic now with all the misunderstandings around "yea, no" and "no, yeah".

Okay okay okay you must be on the same wavelength as me because ever since those posts started going around I have been thinking about this exact topic.

First - I personally think that Clark would say y’all but Superman would actually be a bit more formal most of the time. Some examples below:

~*~

Clark: Ya’ll okay?

Superman: Is everyone okay?

~*~

Clark: ya’ll’l never get away with this!

Superman: You will never get away with this!

~*~

Clark: I’ve got you! Ya’ll are gonna be okay.

Superman: I’ve got you! You guys are going to be okay.

Etc etc. I imagine he would say “you guys” to the right audience, but overall I personally headcannon that when he’s Superman he actively tries to hide some of his affectations that might give away where he’s from. Both as a way to protect those he loves and not bias other people against him or let him think that he could be from anywhere so he’s accepted everywhere, ya know?

Someone either on tumblr or in a fic I read once (if you know where please mention it so I can properly source!) mentioned Superman accidentally slipping that he was from Kansas while rescuing someone as a way to connect with them. Buuuuuut then realized how stupid that was and started telling everyone he rescued he was from where they were to cover his tracks. And that has always stuck with me as exactly the type of thing he’d do. Head empty - no thoughts - connect with others and save everyone he can and think nothing of his own security (or even sometimes how his own actions can effect the security of those he loves - at least when he’s young and just starting out)

BUT - this leads me to a second point on topic #1 (and into #2) Which is the beautiful, hilarious possibility of code switching between Clark and Superman ways of speaking in different situations.

Just imagine Superman in the watchtower. He just got done kicking some villain’s ass. He’s simply covered in some sort of alien goo and a light powdering debris from his fight and desperately needs a shower. Several of the other members are sitting around playing cards/shooting the shit when he walks in.

“Oh man Superman you look rough my dude.”

And because it’s been a hard fight and he’s also thinking about his personal problems he snaps back without watching his vocabulary. “If y’all’d’ve helped a little more maybe I wouldn’t be so—” He gestures to the suit and its immediate need for cleaning.

And wouldn’t that just stop them in their tracks a little. Big blue just said…y’all? Not only y’all but a strange rushed conjunction that feels out of place for him (they think). But then. THEN. He keeps doing it. Little bits and pieces slipping out to his fellow superheroes and friends.

“I’m fixin to go to China for a ribbon cutting ceremony. All y’all want takeout?”

“No. Yeah. I’ll be there. You coming with?”

“Mom really made the best pies for the state fair this year. Y’all’d’ve loved it if y’all’d’ve come.”

"Oh for cryin' out loud. Batman isn’t that scary. Just talk to the man, he’ll understand.”

Whiiiich brings me all the way back around to your point number two. God I would LOVE a fic full of misunderstandings. And one around “no, yeah” and “yeah, no” would be so much fun! I don’t know if I’m the person to write it because I literally say those two things in my head with such different inflections that I can’t confuse them. But it would be ~g l o r i o u s~ if it happened! I’ve been trying to wrack my brain for a good scenario in which they could be confused.

Maybe one where Bruce finally gets the courage to ask Clark around for dinner. “Are you free for dinner this Sunday at 5?” “No, yeah.” And Bruce just walks away unsure of if Clark understood or not? I know I personally have a habit of adding more to my sentences that sort of clarify “no, yeah” via context. Like, “No, yeah. I’ll be there.”

But “yeah, no” ? Now that one is easily said alone. But I personally always say it with a bit of distaste on the no, or laced sarcasm. Or as a question. So here’s some scenarios for anyone who needs examples of this

Person 1: You going to that party?

Person 2: Yeah, no. (No said with a hint of ‘I’d rather get teeth pulled without Novocain’)

Person 1: Did you get a raise this year?

Person 2: Yeah, no (No said with anger)

Person 1: Did you remember to do [insert chore/obligation that is ridiculous]?

Person 2: Yeah, no (No said as in ‘I am not going to do that. I never planned on foing that. I’m laughing on the No because it’s such a stupid ask)

Person 1: Did you do the dishes?

Person 2: Yeah, no? (Sort of. This means sort of, kind of, in a roundabout way, but probably not the way the question asker intended)

[ollieofthebeholder]

Hello!

I’m a huge fan of your writing, specifically your Had He Known It story, it’s a favorite of mine I’ve read nearly a dozen times now. The way you manage to not just create such a broad and in depth cast of characters but pace yourself so it never feels crowded is awesome!

I was wondering if you thought you’d ever return to working on the sequel story or not? As a writer myself I know sometimes you just loose steam in things, but also as a reader I know sometimes a few years can bring an author back to piece. I’ve always been dead curious about Josephine Bhaer and where her story was going, even after all this time, along with the rest of Slim’s cohort.

I also wondered what your thoughts were on fan continuations of it — I saw you requested that people ask before writing things based on your work, and it’s something I’ve considered trying my hand at though lord knows I couldn’t promise to finish that large of a project either

Hope you have a good day!

Hello!

Sorry this took me so long to respond to - I did see it, but I've been out of town all weekend and this was a lot to type on my phone, lol.

Thank you so much! That's a huge compliment. ^_^

I am planning to go back to the sequel story...someday. I know I keep saying that, but I really do mean it. I have always intended to get back into it. The reasons I haven't are threefold. In the first place, I did genuinely lose steam on it (for a number of sub-reasons, including that I set it aside to work on a NaNo novel, that the laptop I was using at the time literally exploded and took part of a chapter with it, that once I did get a new laptop I couldn't find the key to download Scrivener again and thus couldn't access my files for a good while, and that I then started listening to TMA and got mugged with the idea for what eventually became leaves too high to touch (roots too strong to fall)). In the second place, I...kinda fell out of the Star Trek fandom a little bit, at least actively, and was having trouble getting back into it.

And in the third place...I really didn't plan it out that well. I know a few of the major beats of the story (I know what's up with Slim's roommate, I know what's up with Brae's roommate, I know what Jo's story is, and I know where the story is going to end - and y'all do, too, because of the epilogue to HHKI), but most of the connective tissue - and, frankly, Slim's overall story - was just being made up as I went along. Add in the fact that work's gotten crazier and crazier (as witnessed by the fact that it took me about a year to write the first 65 chapters, and another three years to write the last 50) and I just haven't got back to it.

But I want to. Eventually.

I would love to see if you wrote something based off the fic! The only thing I would ask is that if you want to try your hand at anything touching on the beats I mentioned up there, you don't tag me in it. But other than that, go for it! (And if you have any lore questions, I'm happy to answer.)

Hope you have a great day too!

[queerwolf79]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks for the tag @eyesofatragedy67

1. How many works do you have on A03?

121 so far, that number will increase within the next couple of months.

2. What's your total word count?

3,439,494

Holy shit, and that's not including the word count of unpublished works or the original novel I'm currently editing!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Actively: Supernatural; Good Omens; Our Flag Means Death; Red, White, and Royal Blue, (MAYBE DEAD BOY DETECTIVES BACK OFF)

Past: South Park; High School Musical; Beauty and the Beast; Harry Potter; Blades of Glory; and Glee.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos:

Top 5 in general (this includes co-written fics):

In a Mirror, Darkly (written with @anyreiart) - 3,068

Red, White, and Royal Blue Balls - 2,365

Playing with Fire (written with @anyreiart) - 1,748

That Wasn’t Supposed to Fucking Happen! (written with @anyrei) - 1,387

The Heart of Ophelia (written with @anyreiart) - 1,357

Top 5 Solo Fics:

Red, White, and Royal Blue Balls - 2,365

La Rose Cachée - 1,146

Twenty After Four - 390

You Know I’m No Good - 326

And Walk Yourself to the Laundromat - 318

5. Do you respond to comments?

UGH, not as much as I should, and I used to be really good about responding to all comments, but presently my inbox on Ao3 has 4402 “unread” comments and I just… I can’t, it’s too overwhelming at this point with working two jobs. But I read and genuinely appreciate every single comment, even if I can’t reply to every single one!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ah. That’s a toss up between Nothing’s Gonna Change My World and Through the Rift Series. In my opinion, the former, but I’m sure Any would beg to differ.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oooh, fun! Ummmm. Most of them have happy endings (both literally and figuratively). I guess the “happiest” ending goes to the crack fic I wrote for Any’s birthday seven years ago. Crack in the Fourth Wall

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Oh, you betcha. The first time we got a shitty comment on a joint fic, Any said, “We’ve made it!” Thankfully, when a certain newsletter was dismantled, the anti-destiel harassment died down. I/We still get the occasional “concrit” comment from readers who think it’s an okay thing to give unsolicited writing advice, and I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Constructive criticism cannot exist in already posted fanfiction world, you aren’t being constructive or critiquing, you’re literally filing a complaint, leaving a bad review. So either embrace the fact you’re a shitty 1-star Yelp review Karen, or stop leaving concrit.

9. Do you write smut?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

10. Craziest crossover?

I actually don’t write crossovers, but keep your eyes peeled! I recently participated in the CasDean Reverse Crossover Bang, and in a little over a week, I’ll be posting my Harry Potter crossover fic featuring art by the amazing @rezal-art!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not technically, or in a way that could be proven, but a very popular fic very much felt like a rip off of one of mine and Any’s fics, one that a well known author (a friend of the author of aforementioned rip off) made it a point to tell potential readers to not read the ending of because said author didn’t like the polyamory of it all.

Even funnier, that same author shortly after wrote their own poly fic. So, I guess personal preferences used to justify telling people to not read someone’s fic can sometimes beget a change of heart if it gets you more comments/readers.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Any and I have had a couple of our fics translated into Chinese, Russian, and Spanish! And we are here for anyone who wishes to translate any of our fics, just let us know and send us a link, and we will include it in the notes!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. At this point, I prefer to not write alone. Any needs to stop allowing it to happen.

14. All-time favorite ship?

Okay, so… technically, it’s Destiel. It’s the only pairing that survived the end of its series. Dean Winchester and Castiel are my two favorite archetypes of characters and their specific dynamic transcends canon bad endings and any type of universe.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I don’t have any! The last time I posted a WIP, it took me a couple years to finish, so I promised myself I would only post completed fics from now on.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Comedic scenarios and dialogue. I like the funnies and the speakings.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

DESCRIPTIONS. I fucking hate it, okay? Why can’t you all just know what’s in my damn head? I also have a toxic, codependent relationship with commas and sentence fragments.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

A little mixed. So, barring it being like… Latin, or a more archaic language that you use an unreliable online translator for or a language you speak, I believe for believable dialogue, you should have a friend or someone who can confirm/verify that the language is written correctly, otherwise, I vote you write, “they spoke in x language,” and interpret in the narrative. And no writing an accent in dialogue for characters where English is a second language phonetically! Like, authentic structure of a sentence, rhythm, or word choice is fine, but let’s not be offensive folks.

19. First fandom you ever wrote in?

Harry Potter over twenty years ago now. I’m an old.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Oooh, that’s fun. Ummmm. For co-written, it’s a toss up between Five Dimensions, or Dean’s Crusade: A Dance with Self Discovery with @anyreiart or Heaven on htraE with @eyesofatragedy67 and for solo it’s a toss up between I Wish for This and La Rose Cachée

Tag time! @anyreiart @punk-is-notdead and whoever else wants to do this!

[jeffersonhairpie]

One of the YouTube comments of all time oh my GOD

Found on this video

[Image ID: A YouTube comment from user @sire-dame-sander It reads:

Image 1

as promised here in MY Insane Cats Fandom Story. formatting this greentext style bc it’d be fucking unreadable as a big block of text - be me - cats the musical fan, dumb teenager - in groupchat with several other cats the musical fans - our number one group activity is keeping up with this one fanfic, “the silver protector and me” - it’s 70k words of munkustrap x the author’s self insert oc - from the moment you pick TPSAM up it’s not great from a writing perspective but the further you read the more unhinged the plotlines get - everyone can shapeshift into normal cats with no explanation. the main character is french n everybody else is incredibly aroused by it. all the girl cats frequently body shame the main character for being too skinny. the love interest is abusive towards his son because he thinks he might be gay. there’s a bunch of sex slavery just like an insane amount - this isn’t really that alarming to us. obviously the author might sort of be goin through it but at the end of the day it’s just a fanfic - however. there is also an author’s note at the end of every chapter where the author (we’ll call her jazzie after her self insert) shares wayyyyy too much about her life - we learn a bunch through these. she’s british. she has a terrible ex. she loves the guy who’s she’s currently dating but he hates cats the musical. she’s been to cats the musical 115 times. she has a 7 year old son - she also links her instagram + tumblr. maybe this was a dick move of us but being teenagers we check them out - jazzie’s instagram is pretty normal other than the fact that everyone but her looks miserable in every photo - whatever. they might just have resting bitch face - jazzie’s tumblr is CRAZY - we discover that she’s been in several bona fide large scale scandals - you name it jazzie has posted it. most recently she’s gotten in trouble for comparing the traditional body modification of various unrelated african cultures to, and I quote, “dumb bimbos getting too much plastic surgery” - she’s also fighting on a daily basis with people who hate her fanfic over its various Issues, including one heated debate with an actual sex trafficking survivor - about a week after we start checking in on jazzie’s tumblr, she posts that she’s going to be taking a break n moving all her mutuals into a discord server - this server will also house the live drafting of new chapters of TPSAM - being idiot teenagers we decide we HAVE to get into this server to watch TPSAM get drafted live. its siren song is far too strong for morals to assuage us - in an attempt to gain mutualhood before jazzie leaves for good, I create my cishetsona - her name is abi n she’s a 17 year old girl living in indiana who loves only two things: cats the musical and her homophobic 23 year old fiancée who works in his dad’s garage - she’s a closet tuggoffelees shipper as well but she openly ships mistoffellees/victoria (which is for some reason the default straight ship in cats even though victoria canonically hooks up with plato. no I’m not sure why either) - abi begins participating in the cats the musical fandom by posting annoyingly heterosexual content - within one (1) week, this has gotten her into jazzie’s discord - a few of my co conspirators have played the same trick. there’s maybe four or five of us in there - inside this discord we are exposed to fandom drama we never even knew existed - jazzie frequently complains to the server about her current boyfriend. she hates how much he dislikes cats the musical, n hates even more that he’s always telling her to pay more attention to their kids (plural) instead of writing cats the musical sex slave fic - do you remember how I only mentioned the 7 year old son earlier. this is the first mention we hear of another kid - the next day something terrible happens

Image 2

- we MEET the other kid - he is 12 years old n he is a SERVER MODERATOR - this means he’s been fully privy to the active drafts of his mother’s super explicit cats the musical sex slave fanfic - apparently nobody on the server was aware this moderator was jazzie’s son either, because her genuine mutuals seem just as shocked as we do - at this point one of the real mutuals snaps n tells jazzie that while she loves TPSAM, kids shouldn’t be anywhere near it. a good half of the server enthusiastically agrees with this - jazzie takes this as a personal attack on her parenting abilities n the server fucking implodes - a couple days later the whole thing gets taken offline - abi gets a message from jazzie apologizing for the whole situation n thanking her for not attacking her like everyone else - I don’t have the energy left to tell her abi isn’t real, so abi says “thank you. it’s no problem” - there is brief discussion of reporting jazzie to some kind of authority, but we decide that’ll probably only make it worse for her kids, so we don’t - we figure she got the message to not involve her preteen son in the drafting of her sex slave fanfiction when all of her friends left her - TPSAM has not updated since. I really hope it’s because jazzie stopped neglecting her kids for it - it’s for the best she stopped. I hope her family is doing better now - but frankly I’m a bit sad we’ll never get lines like “can I cum in you?” “oui!” ever again

/End ID]

[electricbluebutterflies]

ebf's "context doesn't help" fic prompts, round 10

It's been over a year since I've compiled a list of things I probably shouldn't have said for y'all's fic-writing inspo, but here we go! Use for whatever fandoms / babes you want and feel free to tag me, I wanna see how my chaotic life results in other people's fic!

“I would like to keep the number of panic attacks I’ve had this week where it currently is.”

“You don’t understand revenge!”

“Even the devil has to fuck SOMEONE.”

“I shouldn’t lie.”

“Do you know (X)?” “Yes, why…?” “We’re getting married next weekend.”

“The more I hear about that the less I want to know.”

“He’s almost adorable.”

“Marriage is like eating a pineapple.”

“If you wear that much glitter, you’re not straight.”

“How many midlife crises is THAT?!”

“Did you realistically think he’d give you a weapon?” “NO.”

“I’m not sure he’s going to live long enough to get married.”

“Worrying about you is a good group bonding activity.”

“You were put into this world to punish someone. I’m not that person.”

“Threatening people is more direct than cleavage.”

“I’m not gonna kill anyone today!”

“You’re too much of a gentleman, just throw it!”

“I’m not bossy, I’m suggestive.”

“You don’t have court today, do you?”

“I’m not yelling, you’re just wrong.”

“I’m not panicked, I just have questions.”

“I don’t think that’s how hair of the dog works.”

“That’s my future wife!”

“We can’t disown you NOW but we can try.”

“I’m not fragile enough to be a trophy wife.”

“Three words: emotional. support. animal.”

“I am both a delicate flower and six foot even in heels.”

“You’re either going to fall in love with her or fight her in the parking lot.” “Probably both!”

“I didn’t even get to threaten you!”

“I am a highly emotional person.”

[scamanderishredmayniac]

Newt Appreciation Month, day 27: Top five Newt accounts!

Oh my gosh, this one’s going to be really hard. Ok before I start this is asking for Net specific accounts, not Eddie Redmayne ones specifically. However I might throw in just one or two Eddie ones, as I don’t really know many Newt specific ones. I think for me there are probably 4 that I follow and know about? I don’t know but here goes, in no specific order;

@newt-and-salamander we’ve becomes friends, and they’re just so sweet. Every now and then I get a sweet message from them, and that’s not something I get very often. She makes me smile, and we have so much fun being silly. Like Eddie, I value humour and sillyness in my friendships, so how could I not mention this account. One of the best. I’m blessed to have friends like this. Always encouraging me, and has kind words to lift up my confidence as I don’t have very good self esteem. My number 1 supporter.

@occamyeggshells friends! She helps me out, and was kind of helpful in making that prompt grid above. :)

@uefb I like some of her stories, they’re fascinating takes on Newt and his childhood as well as adulthood. And they write really well. I love a bit of Newt fanfic.

@afrenchaugurey well we have interesting conversations, and i like some of their fics too.

And for the last one I’m going to throw in an Eddie centric account, but someone who does post Newt stuff, and supports my blog a lot.

@eddieredmayneargentinablog also a really good, special friend of mine who supports me in everything I do. She has so much faith in me, even when I can’t see my own potential. I have really low self esteem and low confidence, but she is always there to encourage and give me confidence. She supports me in my art, my writing, always liking and reblogging my stuff and leaves me sweet comments sometimes. My number 1 supporter. I really appreciate friendships like this and again value it so much. So basically this one and new-and-salamander both are such encouraging friends who both support my creative works, and things.

There are so many other great Newt centric blogs out there, but I chose to do the ones that are most active and who I interact with currently or have done. Most the other accounts either don’t post much anymore at all, or I’ve never had interactions with. So I chose these as my top five. There are possibly two other accounts that support me and my blog, but they are Eddie centric not Newt centric, and it asks for five so I could only fit out of those to make up numbers. But I promise you, for everyone who interacts with me, and my blog, likes, reblogs my stuff and supports me, I really appreciate what you do. Weather you’re Newt centric or not. You are all appreciated, and even those who just follow me silently without much interaction, are still appreciated too.

[the-cryptographer]

I had this post in my drafts about how I’m completely at peace with the fact that Anders and Fenris never get along in canon. Like, I’ll write fics where they met under different circumstances, or were supported enough to feel like the other’s experiences were less of an attack on their personal identities, or were otherwise given external reasons to bury the hatchet. But in terms of the canon game, I think it did a very good job of highlighting the similarities between the characters while just- letting them trigger the fuck out of each other. Of course they’re not going to find the mental energy to be understanding with someone who rubs them this far the wrong way when they have to do it living the incredible stress of being both scrutinised by society at large and actively hunted. And I think that’s more powerful than anything else canon could have possibly said about them.

But then someone else made a surprisingly similar post and I went into the tags looking for other fenders shippers that reblogged it and, lmao, that did not go well for me. I feel like this was pretty predictable in retrospect. People who think they shouldn’t have gotten along in canon don’t wanna think about them being friends or kissing makes a certain kind of sense. But I feel a bit at a loss. I think the easiest way I can explain it is I like the ship bc I found the canon Anders-Fenris relationship narratively satisfying. So satisfying it was in many ways more interesting and revealing than their relationship with Hawke. Like- I definitely learned things about them from their Hawkemances. Like the kind of things they want from a relationship and the kind of devotion they want to express to another person and how. Or that they’re so desperate for Lord Amell’s affection and approval and help they’ll lie like there’s no tomorrow to get it. But, yeah, I definitely wouldn’t call either canon romance narratively satisfying in the same way Anders and Fenris hating each other and never getting along in canon precisely because they have each other’s number down perfectly was absolutely fucking delicious. And that makes me want to poke at them and examine them from all angles and test the lengths that I have to go to radically change the quality of their relationship in a way I wouldn’t with just any pair of characters.

[josiebelladonna]

Do I feel vibrant (in general)?

I’m in pain (from exercising more), so no. I still don’t know what it means to “feel vibrant”, either.

Do I feel sexually desirable?

I have never felt this way in my life. I’ve been working out harder lately and I (finally) hit the 30 pound mark and now my next goal is 20 pounds by turkey day, but again: I’m only thinking about my physical health and getting healthy. Listen, I had swollen feet, a pounding heart, I was prone to migraines, and I was probably prediabetic, too, given diabetes runs in the family. I ain’t thinking about sexiness… whatever that is.

Are my sexual needs being met? (by me, by someone else)

I started my kinktober collection last night because no one else can get it right, but it’s really hard to say. I cringe at my desires, needs, whatever they’re fucking called, especially my belly kink. It’s the one kink that I go way back with and I would be lying if I said talking about it makes me feel so exposed and embarrassed. It’s like coming out, it’s not like a kid’s birthday party: it’s a huge deal.

Do I care about my sexual life?

The fact I keep coming back to this shows that I care about it *enough*. But I can’t say that I care about it so much that I’m losing sleep over the fact that no one is sleeping with me.

What is my comfort level with talking about sex and sexuality and communicating my needs?

Zero comfort. I’m so embarrassed and disgusted with myself.

How am I feeling about my body?

Hard to say. Listen, when I was pushing 270, I actually felt great (minus the swollen feet, of course). Losing weight now, and it’s fascinating how fast I’ve been losing weight (30 pounds in 2 months! I never would have dreamed that would happen).

What is my relationship like with my orgasms?

Nonexistent. I can’t remember the last time I masturbated because, again, there’s no point. I tried doing it again and I stopped because I couldn’t get into it. I don’t care. What is the point of developing an appetite when there is no need for it. There’s no point to developing a sexual appetite, plus I don’t care. I’m too much of a pussy and there are other things to worry about, too. They’re here and gone, too, like what the hell is this whole thing that all women should have these violent screamers after five seconds. Am I really not doing it right? Why should I try and make myself scream when it won’t happen. Why even bother.

What is my connection like with others?

Horrible. It’s been two weeks since the Testament cartoon and it’s still only at 3 likes on my page. Meanwhile, I see people celebrating kids’ birthdays, making massive recoveries, reaching huge milestones, what have you. Go to my page and it looks sad. Do you understand why I have no desire to be there anymore?

I have no faith in my art, either. I’ll just post the collections and be done with it, seeing as that’s all everyone wants from me.

When I think of sex, what comes to mind?

Nothing good or happy. What on earth am I supposed to say to this? I think of all the consequences of being sexually active and that’s all I think about, too. Oh, yeah, herpes and HIV and unwanted pregnancy, yeah, that’s really sexy.

Do I feel tapped into God (Source, Universe)?

lol

*bonus question: What fun am I having in my sexual life?

None. Ooh yeah, exposing yourself to horrific diseases like herpes and gonorrhea and warts, and putting your body and trust in another person when they can readily betray you at any given time for the dumbest and pettiest reasons, yeah, that’s totally fun *gunshot*

I’m terrified of what awaits me for kinktober. I just don’t measure up. The green druidess did a number on me as well as the Rockfic side of the fanfic world: in that brief period from when I came back online to the minute she showed up, it was a little more than a year, it was like Santa Cruz, it was this pre-pandemic/pre-Tiktok/pre-worst of what gen z has to offer era that was still fun and enjoyable. You write fic and go on tumblr because it was fun, not because you wanted to be the next E.L. James or Anna Todd. 

And you could say whatever you wanted (barring you weren’t prejudiced against someone for who they were). People only blocked someone when they personally attacked them through asks or reblogs, not because they had an opinion they didn’t like. I looked at her fic account just now and she and temple haven’t updated in months: i remember the last time i pointed this out she updated something probably just to stick it to me, but i expect her to. People with control issues and a sense of entitlement are weak. I’m bracing myself for this, but what is with women these days? The last couple of times I went grocery shopping, the women were… bitchy to say in the least. Walking around with their noses in the air, rude to their children, looking down at me all because of my pink pants and I’m fucking poor… The men meanwhile? Sweet. Polite. Approachable. Friendly even. It’s like my own gender has very quickly become the very thing they’re accusing men of being: rude, mean, liars, arrogant, bullies, abusers, manipulators, all with a side of victim complex because “we’re women, therefore victims and therefore deserving of special treatment”. There are exceptions, of course, but it’s like the mean, entitled girl is the thing to be now.

I see these new fic writers who are blatantly displaying their quote unquote “raunchy sides” and they’re getting fucking everything. “Ooh, look at me, I’m a sexual being and therefore entitled to special treatment” or the flip side: “ooh, look at me, I’m a minor and therefore entitled to special treatment”. Listen, when I was a minor, I had… some curiosity about sexuality but not a lot. But I never saw it as “harassment” or “abuse”, though: it was just this side of life that was incredibly taboo and inaccessible, like I felt bad just thinking about it .  I couldn’t explore if I wanted to. Plus, I was more focused on learning things, building robots, making cartoons, and trying not to kill myself because my classmates and my dad’s side of the family were all assholes.

No fun. No hope. And no, I don’t deserve shit. Again, I’ll just do it and be done with it. I don’t give a shit if anyone else doesn’t.

[greenerteacups]

Frequently Asked Questions

Hi! If I’m asked a question more often than sometimes, it’s probably here. Static page also accessible at this link.

When is the next chapter coming out?

I update on Friday mornings, weekly, usually before noon PST. If it’s a Friday and you don’t see an update, it’s either because I’m on a writing break, or we’re in a hiatus between books. Or I've been hit by a car or something.

Do you have social media?

Aside from Tumblr — nope! I’m one of those hermit types. My AO3 account was previously the only place I was active online. I made a Tumblr so I could offer a platform to interact with people who are more comfortable here than in the AO3 comments section (for instance, there’s no anonymity function on AO3; you can log out and comment as a guest, but that’s a lot of work, and then there's not an easy way to check if your question was answered.)

Can I tag you in [thing]?

Yeah! I check back in here every few days, on average, to scope out my inbox and my mentions. If you make something for my fic, I’ll publicize it everywhere, obviously.

Can I bind your fics?

Yep! Carte blanche. I don’t own the copyright for anything I write, so I appreciate the thoughtfulness of people asking, but you can absolutely go ahead and do whatever the hell you want with the text of my fic. Print it, paint it, burn it, bind it, turn it into blackout poetry. Transformative art is human nature. But if you do, please, please, show me! I’ll scream for a thousand years.

Caveat: I’ve seen some people have anxieties about the sale of bound fics for profit, since they’re worried about publishers cracking down on copyright violation and litigating fanfiction. This is tough, because on the one hand, bookbinding can be expensive; on the other hand, selling fic is a violation of copyright, and the only way AO3 is allowed to exist is by authors making precisely $0 from anything they post. (This is why AO3 will boot you immediately if they catch you trying to make money from non-original works on their site — if I so much as drop a PayPal link in the description for Lionheart, the fic will quickly be taken down, and my account could be suspended.) So my stance is: I’m not going to sell my fics; if you bind for personal use, this doesn’t matter, go for it, live deliciously, etc; if you bind to sell, please be careful and discreet as you can. But you have my OK, for what it’s worth.

Can I translate your fics?

Yes, of course.

Will you write other things, besides Lionheart?

Eventually, yeah. Probably nothing longform soon, however. When I’m writing something, I get engrossed in the world and I sort of tunnel-vision onto the project. When Lionheart goes on a hiatus between books, I may pop out and do something else, just to keep my skills sharp and give my mind a break. That’s where shorter pieces like The Climb and SWLITS came from. But I keep my eyes on the prize, as far as what I’m writing, because I pride myself on having finished most (though admittedly, not all) things I’ve ever started on AO3. I hate having unfinished projects  cluttering up my Works page. 

I don’t read WIPs. When will Lionheart be finished/should I read Lionheart?

Listen, I’m not gonna tell anyone how to read fic. If your reading preferences make you happy, then you’re doing it right. And I’ve also been burned by remarkable WIPs that peter out, or die on a cliffhanger, and they just about break my heart. I can’t promise that won’t happen, because I don’t know what life holds in store. I also can’t promise when Lionheart will be finished, because, frankly, I have no idea! As a full-book rewrite, if you look at the current chapter count, and then look at the number of books in the series, then, yeah, it clearly has a long way to go.

But I also know that the Completed Works filter on AO3 is hiding a lot of good fic, and I think people who only read completed stuff are missing out on the real fun of update culture — of reading something serially, the excitement of waiting for the next chapter to drop, looking for clues about long-running puzzles, theorizing in the comments, getting to experience each new hit live. That’s one of the few things about fanfic that you can’t get in a novel, and it’s a real treat. I’d at least give it a try.

Otherwise, here’s what I can tell you: Books 1, 2, 3, and 4 will all be finished. They will have completed endings, and will offer (satisfying, I hope) resolutions to the major conflicts of those stories. And that’s a fact.

[sintreaties]

Let's be real u love the anon who asked u lots of question right?

Allow me to thank you for this question, because it gave me the chance to speak about something that’s been intriguing me for a while (albeit it’s more of a personal reflection, rather than a conversation with you specifically).

I’ve been answering anon asks for years and because this was my first experience being active in fandom spaces, I’ve come to consider it as a sort of social experiment.

To answer your question: no, I do not enjoy the last few asks. I don’t appreciate when people don’t take the hint and keep sending them.

In part, of course, it’s because I’ve grown tired. Tired of Kakegurui, but also of some of its fans. The asks I used to receive were also much more engaging and some were actually quite funny! Some anons were nice enough to come here just to share something they enjoyed, something unrelated to KKG, because they thought that I’d enjoy it too. I appreciate those anons a lot and I hope they’re having a nice day, just like the anons who reached out to talk about my fics and discuss what they liked or disliked about them.

I can’t remember if I mentioned it here, but for me, the anons of this blog are the equivalent of strangers stopping me in the streets while I’m minding my business. Some people ask for directions (meaning, some come here asking for writing advice and such) and if I can help them, it is my pleasure to do so. Some people come up to me to strike a conversation, and although I don’t always have the patience or the interest to indulge them, I do my best to reply.

And then there’s… the others.

Those are the ones that puzzle me. I don’t take what they say personally, nor do I give it much weight, because in the end, they’re still just strangers on the internet, but I’m still genuinely curious about why they do the things they do. It’s not like I’ve lost sleep over it but even as a writer, I’m very, very interested in understanding this kind of humanity. Everything has a reason, if you care to search for it.

So those anons, right. Some of them don’t even follow me: Why are they here?

Of course, one of the reasons is that this is an open space. You can come in, do your thing, get out. I’ll never know who you are so you don’t really feel like there’s going to be any substantial consequence to what you say.

There’s this quote by Robert A. Caro that goes, “When you have enough power to do what you always wanted to do, then you’re really gonna see what you always wanted to do.”

So you have the power to be rude, and stupid and nonsensical, right?

But why would you do it?

Like, if someone was to tell me “Hey, I don’t appreciate your avances”, well, I wouldn’t send them this kind of stuff:

I’d feel like a loser, you see? I’d show no manners to the person who’s repeatedly said that they don’t appreciate this kind of messages (most importantly when those who send them are really trying to get my cell number!!!) and I’d also show such an incredible loneliness and hopelessness that I couldn’t help but be ashamed of myself.

Plus you’re doing this where everyone can see you! You’re on anon yes, but you know that you’re the one who wrote that stupid, rude or nonsensical ask. How can you not be embarassed about it? I suppose you’re either dumb enough to lack self-awareness or you’re so insecure that you’re much beyond that to torture yourself with silly concepts like dignity and self-respect.

I don’t mean it as an insult, really, I’m just trying to draw my own conclusions here. My power fantasy is to be a good, kind, interesting person in a community of equally good and nice and interesting people and yours is… this? Why?

Reading some of these asks feels like getting a glimpse of someone’s intrusive thoughts. You can tell that they didn’t stop to think before sending them. My mutuals have to thank me, because despite what I’ve been told recently by a friend, I still spare them the worst ones (which, curiously, have only really started to appear recently). This kind of stuff gives me such bad second-hand embarassment that if I try to put myself in the anon’s shoes I deal myself psychic damage.

Most of those people don’t even come to me because I’m Sintreaties and they have a problem specifically with Sintreaties. The problematic anons either disregard or forget the fact that they’re real, living people talking to another real, living person — who, incidentally, has nothing to do with them.

And it’s incredible, because again, I wouldn’t be able to act like some of you! Sometimes it helps to think that no matter how many times I’ve hit rock bottom, I’ve never sent anon hate nor have I ever harrassed someone online just because I could. But then, even in videogames I never pick the “bad route”. What’s the fun in that? If I have to be mean and pick a fight with someone, hell, let it be a fight that can win me something more than whatever you get from arguing with Twitter users.

In the end, the question for me isn’t “why are you doing this to me”.

For me, the question becomes: why are you doing this to yourselves?

Bro, go for a walk! Talk to your friends, and if you’ve got none, go ahead and make some! Go for a coffee all by yourself and joke with the guy at the counter! Jesus Christ man, you can do better than waste your time sending that kind of asks to a random person on the internet! You show so little self-love that I can’t help but feel compassion. Where’s your dignity? Where’s your self-respect, the innate, human drive that pushes us to be better, no matter what? If you’re so lonely and insecure, do something about it! The world is full of people who wish to be your friend and to know you for who you are. Take care of yourself, for god’s sake!

“Lighten up, it’s not that deep” — for some of you, yeah. We’re talking about the same people who can barely read and comprehend a manga, I don’t expect them to understand my point.

(And I don’t mean it as a “look at me, I am so superior to you, because I actually use my head to think things critically and I’m still in touch with my emotions even in online settings.”)

For you it’s just one or two weird asks. Since 2019, I’ve received hundreds of them.

Again, I’m still relatively new to fandom. I’ve “only” been around for a few years and I’ve mostly only interacted with KKG fans. I’ve also always tried to curate my experience, which is already lacking on its own compared to someone who’s been around for decades. On that note, I wonder if some older, more experienced users would like to share their opinions on the matter — on anon too, or course.

I still want to keep my askbox open, because some anons really have something new and interesting to bring to the table. Remember though: it’s not 2020 anymore. From now on, I really do suggest thinking well about an ask before sending it.

And on a final note, I’m told that one of my asks made it to the KKG struggles account on Twitter so I’d personally like to thank and shake hands with all the anons that made it possible🤝🍾🎉

[burningthetree]

I LOVE ASK GAMES! please talk to me about your year in writing! okay for ao3 wrapped! Would you pretty please answer numbers 3, 6, 10, 12, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, and/or 29 😇

I realize I am being unreasonable but I cannot help it :) please feel free to skip any or all

YES CAT OMG THANK YOU <3 i love talking about my writing let’s go!

(if you know me irl don’t you dare read under the cut)

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

Either of my longer fics. I always had trouble writing longer stories (which is fine! Shorter stories are just as great, but I always wanted to write something longer and never seemed to be able to) so I’m just proud that I somehow managed to tell a story that is unreasonably and unnecessarily long. I specifically have forget me not in mind, but also safe and warm because I feel like my initial plan for that one is just as big a lie as my plan was for fmn and it’s going to be over 100k again I fear. But that’s something I’m proud of! Starting out with a small idea and then realising it’s going to evolve into something bigger than I’d anticipated, and then still sticking with it to see it through to the end, even if it gets overwhelming sometimes.

6. Favorite title you used

safe and warm! I struggled with what to pick for the title at first, but then felt relatively content with it. And I don’t want to base my satisfaction on outside validation but the people that did comment on the title pointed out the exact things I had in mind for it and that gave me a boost in serotonin

10. What work was the quickest to write?

I’ve been struggling with literally everything this year LOL I don’t think anything was quick to write. Especially after writing forget me not last year within four months everything just feels painfully slow. Albeit not quick per se, safe and warm is the quickest in comparison to the rest I’ve had lying around for months lol

12. How many WIP's do you have in your docs for next year?

So many 😭 let me go count them. I think it's seven. Yikes. But I'm currently only actively writing two. And one of those two will be finished in December, so currently it's eight but 2023 it'll be seven 'only'.

16. What's your most common "Additional Tags" tag?

My gut feeling says Hurt/Comfort and Angst. Let me go check. Yeah, it's definitely Hurt/Comfort. All my fics except one have that tag. I just…vibe with it a lot. As does everyone I know.

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

Kuroo! I genuinely think he’s my absolute favourite in all of Haikyuu!! and I’m having such a good time writing him, though I was very surprised because I always thought it'd be Akaashi or Oikawa. But writing him gives me so much joy and I find it relatively easy (though whether or not my version of him is accurate in relation to the canon-version is debatable). I'm also having a lot of fun with Kiyoomi and Atsumu, they're both such little shits it's a delight to write them.

I'd be a fake if I didn't mention Hawks, though. I find him very easy to write as well, and I had a lot of fun! Some of the whumptober prompts (I haven't forgotten about the collection, I promise, I will finish it one day!) went by really fast because they were Hawks-centric, even though it was my first time writing him. But I don't know, I enjoyed it a lot.

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

Iwaizumi. I swear to god. I keep including him in my fic for the sake of IwaOi but sweet jesus he is driving me INSANE. I’ve never had this many issues with any character and I’m losing my goddamn mind because I don't know how to fix it. Also Edgeshot. I hate that man (I don't, but I do. I really do. I don't).

19. What's one pairing you want to explore next year?

YakuLev! I’m not the biggest fan of Lev because I find him really annoying but I’ve had an idea for them for the longest time now and I’ve started writing it a bit but it’s nowhere near done, so I’m hoping I get to finish it next year at some point! Also I've had an idea for SunaOsa for a while now that I've been meaning to write but haven't been able to get around to yet. So hopefully 2023 will be when I'll get to it!

I've also started to get a little invested in Aizawa/Mic so I've been thinking about them a little as well, also Levi/Erwin for some godforsaken reason lol (kudos to that one person on TikTok making constant videos about them and dragging me down that hole). So maybe I'll explore them next year, who knows, but I don't know if I'm well-versed enough in these fandoms to write something I'd be happy with regarding quality, but we'll see.

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

Probably forget me not, purely because it’s the one long fic I’ve ever written. And I didn’t have any trouble writing it at all, with barely any writer’s block or creative block, which has been an ongoing issue with my current bokuaka that I just cannot seem to continue atm. So I'm looking at it for the character dynamics and set-ups of the scenes to get some inspiration and to revisit how I did it in the past in a way that works for me, and to see if I've changed anything without noticing that makes it work a lot less. Also just structure-wise it’s nice to revisit an older work that is relatively long to see what can be adopted into the new fic and what wouldn’t work.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

On my way to reread my writing to find something! Okay, as much as I always complain about writing Iwaizumi, some of the IwaOi bits I've written are my favourites. This is from Chapter 5 of safe and warm so spoilers if you haven't read it yet, but I had a lot of fun writing this star-crossed lovers bit, and it's a little long so my apologies, I just didn't know how much to include in this post and where to cut off. So it might seem a little odd out of context, but oh well.

Walking up the stairs to where Tooru had been hiding for a long time – they had both lost count of how long it had been – Hajime started to doubt everything about their plan, even though he had been the one to come up with it in the first place. Though he’d had the idea, that didn’t mean he had to like it, because he didn’t. If there was a different way, a way that would ensure Tooru’s safety and keep him close, Hajime would choose that, without hesitation and without a doubt. But there was no other option. There never had been. Not for them. Their love had been doomed from the start. And Hajime had walked into it head-first, fully aware of the pain he’d encounter on the way, and yet he hadn’t been able to stay away from Tooru. The same was true for the other man. “Hey,” Tooru greeted him in a serious tone that he rarely ever used. The grimness of the situation had finally settled in, and Hajime longed for the times when he used to get annoyed with Tooru’s usually playful and obnoxious tone. Hajime didn’t greet him back, didn’t find it in him to say anything, not with how tight his throat was feeling. He was sure that if he opened his mouth now, he would end up crying, and he wanted to avoid that at all cost. Because if he did, he knew that Tooru would object to ever leaving, and he couldn’t risk that, not if he was already risking everything he had by simply coming here. “Hajime,” said Tooru, approaching him carefully as if Hajime was a frightened deer that could be set off at any minute. He wasn’t scared for himself, he really wasn’t. It wasn’t like he was particularly fond of his life anyway, not when he remembered how many people were scared of him for following his father’s footsteps. Not when he remembered how scared Akaashi Keiji and Bokuto Koutarou had appeared earlier as Washijou thought it necessary to injure their friend in such a pointless manner as well. “Hajime, look at me,” said Tooru and walked up to him, cupping his face with gentle hands. The warmth of Tooru’s palms against his skin was filled with love, and it helped him calm down a little bit, to stop his thoughts from spiralling out of control. Hajime did as he was told, and Tooru’s loving brown eyes were set on his, his eyebrows creased in worry even as his lips gave him a smile.

It was a rare sight, having Tooru express such genuine emotion without hiding it beneath a layer of pretentiousness which Hajime hated and that he could see through as if it was a clear window with the curtain withdrawn. Only when they were alone did Tooru allow him to see his real emotions, and even though Hajime could always tell when his boyfriend wasn’t being sincere, he appreciated his honesty and transparency whenever it was just the two of them. “I have to go soon,” said Hajime as he took Tooru’s hands in his. “They are going to the palace soon, to try and find Sakusa and Kuroo. Most of us will go there, so take these.” He handed Tooru the tickets, who took them hesitantly. “It is your best chance. The sun is setting soon, so escape in the dark. Go to the train station, take these, and leave.” “Hajime, I–” Tooru started, but Hajime interrupted him. “There is no time for objections, Shittykawa,” said Hajime, pressing the tickets into Tooru’s palm with such urgency, he almost tore the paper as he did so. “I wasn’t going to object,” said Tooru, faking disappointment and something that Hajime couldn’t quite pinpoint. “I was just going to say that I love you, but I guess you don’t want to hear that, so–” “Shut up,” said Hajime. “I want to hear that.” “What now?” said Tooru, and Hajime could feel the familiar annoyance rise in him at Tooru messing around with his emotions, fully aware that Hajime had a horrendous understanding of his emotions and a hard time dealing with them. “You want me to shut up or tell you that I–” “I am begging you,” said Hajime, “to quit teasing me so. I need you to tell me. Please.” “You’re annoying,” said Tooru. “You’re grumpy and you insult me all the time and you are the sweetest and best person I know. I love you, with all my heart, and after

There you go! This was the first passage that came to mind because this drama has such a chokehold on me, and I cannot wait to dive into it deeper. Thank you so much Cat, I absolutely loved rambling here <3

[bluedalahorse]

The Saraugust tag on AO3 and other thoughts

I track saraugust on AO3. I know I talk about what their fanfic landscape looks like a lot, so I wanted to mention the actual numbers. There are about 90 fics tagged Sara Eriksson/August Horn of Årnäs on AO3, in a fandom that’s currently sitting at about 5000 works. Of those 90 fics:

The vast majority of them are fics focused on another pairing, with summaries that hint of Sara/August comes up it’s because it’s mentioned, and not a developed subplot.

Of the ones focused on another pairing, handful of these focus on another pairing including either Sara or August (e.g. Sara/Felice or August/Vincent) and include Sara/August because it’s part of the backstory. Fair enough!

Some of the fics that do include Sara/August include it just to sink it or make it tragic. (Admittedly this includes two of my own fics; I have a goal of writing them with a more hopeful ending in the future but we’re not there yet until we finish grad school. And I’m a slut for tragedy so I can deal with a tragic take on their relationship. That said, I have also discovered mean-spirited fic among the stuff that purports to be tragic, which I feel less good about.)

A small number of fics include a kink that is Not My Kink enough that it’s a squick for me. While I’m a firm believer in trying almost anything, I feel the polite thing to do with squicks is to salute the author from afar but also not read the fic myself. YKINMKATO, as we used to say in the old days.

The remaining handful of Sara/August fics are fics I have already read or written.

So when I call sargust or saraugust a rarepair, I promise I’m not just being dramatic and whiny. I mean I am a bit, but ;) I know there are pairs that are rarer, that don’t actually get canon screentime. I probably can’t complain too much, because my imagination is active enough that I write fics for the characters in my head, and those would also be written to my tastes. So you know, I manage.

On a pure level of fandom sociology, relatively independent of my own feelings, this fascinates me. I had initially assumed that Sara and August would pick up some kind of organized following after season 2. They kind of fit an archetype that a portion of fandom kids go wild for (the reylo/darklina/delena/chair/dramione/zutara/hopefully you know what I mean by now archetype) but they also kind of… don’t fit that at all? I didn’t expect (or want!) anything that pervasive and juggernaut-ish, goodness no, but given the sort of “nostalgic for livejournal era fandom” quality of YR’s writing and its appeal to people of many ages, I thought Sara and August might pick up some “I shipped [whatever pairing] back in the day and this made me nostalgic for it but I also want to think a little more deeply about it than I did in the past” fans. I figure Wilhelm and Simon were picking up those kinds of fans, too—the way they are written also makes me nostalgic for a certain era of fanfiction, and part of what I like about wilmon is that chance to feel nostalgic but also to reflect on some of the power dynamics at hand. Especially after season 3, I see both ships as ones I approach with my critical lenses nearby.

Anyway. The show is making commentary on and deconstructing the notion of a bad boy crush (that has to be true, given August’s “award” at third year dinner and how much he wants to reject it) but it’s also leaning into the earnestness of Sara’s feelings. Lisa’s approach to writing that fascinated me and drew me in—it felt so much more raw and honest than leaning into a bad boy fantasy entirely without questioning it, or on the other side of things, rolling one’s eyes at the fantasy and saying “of course we’re too enlightened for this, unlike the Other Girls.” I never really had a full-on reylo/darklina/delena/chair/dramione/zutara/whatever era growing up—well, ok, I was into Devil’s Minion back before it was cool and the Vampire Chronicles was only books, maybe that counts even though it’s m/m? Maybe reading Jane Eyre counts? Idk. I am not like the other girls but I am exactly like the other girls. We are both at once.

But maybe, Sara and August are also sort of sitting in this uncanny valley, and that uncanny valley puts a lot of people off. I love that about them and I’ve built myself a house here and been very comfortable, but one day I poked my head outside the window and gone, “my goodness! We sure are in an uncanny valley. Why do I have so few neighbors?”

And I also can’t ignore the bullying anon (and not anon) comments I’ve seen out there in the internet wild, and the role they play in discouraging people from writing fic/making edits/etc. The general consensus is that YR fandom is very nice and I have seen that, but I have also seen times when it isn’t. In any fandom, there are outside forces that shape AO3 numbers.

Incidentally, bestie @coruscantrhapsody and I have discussed it a lot. She is in Star Wars fandom and is a huge Anidala shipper, and sees some similar trends in the Anidala tag. There’s more fics there of course, because Star Wars is a much much bigger fandom, but proportion-wise, she sees similar trends in that Anidala will be tagged in a lot of fics but will not actually feature. (Many of the fics are Codywan or maybe Obikin or something.) Plus there is also a fair amount of discourse (TM) around like, being an Anidala shipper means you’re somehow brainwashed by hetero trad patriarchy or something.

(Why do we always assume that shipping an m/f pairing makes you brainwashed by the heterosexual patriarchy? I’m queer, about 80% of the art I like is queer queer queer—that’s how I found YR after all—god forbid the pairing my brain fixates on in that show is m/f! I’m not going to call them straight because hey, do we really know that? We don’t.)

Anyway. I’m thinking about all this today because today marks the beginning of my graduate school work, and outside of Heart and Homeland there will be no more work on fics until mid January. I’m hoping I’ll be able to pick up my saraugust fics again, so I can at least put my money where my mouth is and write what I want to read, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that for sure, and I’m also not sure if I have more than one fic in me. And that… kind of makes me a little bit sad. So I just wanted to acknowledge that I’m feeling sad about the fics I’ll probably only get to daydream about and never write, and about other fics by other people that I would have loved to read but were probably never written for whatever reason.

So that’s where we are. I’ve made this post unrebloggable and untagged because I don’t want a Big Fandom Discussion or discourse about it. I don’t mind replies and people sharing their thoughts though, as long as:

You don’t tell me you’re sorry I don’t have more fanfic to my liking. I mostly say this because people have very kindly said sorry, and I very much do appreciate the sympathy most days. But today I don’t think I need sympathy so much as willingness to sit with me and analyze what’s going on. I’m in analysis place.

You don’t say something reductive along the lines of “Well actually August sucks!” Because yeah, yeah he does, quite a lot. I am up for discussion of his flaws in a nuanced way but the absolute flattening of him to villainspace is not something I wanna do today either. Fandom also has a time-honored tradition of meaningfully engaging with characters who suck. Writers have a time-honored tradition of meaningfully engaging with characters who suck. It’s one of the things that we do! You know, as people.

So anyway those are my thoughts. Thank you for reading this far! Would appreciate the thoughts of others who are up for it.

[thenexusofsouls]

That fic sounds super awesome! I know you said it’s too long to be posted here, but I know a lot of authors who primarily write here split their fics into parts. If you wanted to go the AO3 route, maybe you could put a link to a document with all the external stuff and then have that in the notes of the fic? I’m not sure which would work better. The town sounds like it’s a super interesting muse, and it’d be cool to have various muses go through that situation, so I’d say go for it! :)

__________

{i am the caretaker of souls} So... I had accounts on both AO3 and Fanfiction.net, but I haven’t used them in so long, for all I know they’ve been deactivated for inactivity by now. Although I think my FF.net one is still active because I still get kudos for things on it. Or is that AO3 that gives kudos, haha, I don’t even remember. But anyhoo. Assuming I could activate those again, I could post the fanfic there. But here’s the thing. A lot of these site have rules again posting links, advertisements, outside things, etc. So I’m not sure I can attach any links on either of those sites and still be within their guidelines.

What I did was make a list of songs that are the “soundtrack,” and then inside the fanfic, I wrote things like “song for this chapter is #6″ or whatever. So that’s.... gonna be hard to do on a fanfiction site because you can’t post multiple files and link to them. All the songs are from Silent Hill games except for one that’s from Parasite Eve, but I usually use Y.ouT.ube as my go-to music thing because a lot of other platforms are too obnoxious for me to use. (I’m of the generation that could just download music and then load them all onto a little player and play any song I wanted anytime I wanted without having to make playlists or hear commercials or only be able to play a certain number of times without a subscription, all that stuff is just so annoying to me it’s not even funny.)

And then for the creature explanations, I did have some links to outside sources, but mostly what I did was write up my own explanation of what each creature symbolized in the game(s) it was in and then connect it to Nuada somehow, for those who wanted more behind the scenes understanding of what I was doing with the creatures. Because Silent Hill is very symbolic, nothing is random, there’s deeper meaning behind everything, heh. So I tried to recreate that in my fanfic as well. But again, a lot of fanfiction sites don’t allow you to link to outside sources or add supplemental files, so... I dunno I’d have to look at what I’m allowed on each site and see what I can do.

I am leaning towards maybe writing up the town of Silent Hill as a muse, even though I may not get a lot of interest in it. It’d still be fun to write it up, heh. But my first priority is finishing the fanfic because that’s already 95% done, so if I can just finish it, edit, and polish... it should be good to go. Thank you for your encouragement, though, and if you (or anyone else reading this) has any question about the fanfic or Silent Hill in general, feel free to ask!

Just a little disclaimer though: please be careful if you decide to watch the Silent Hill movies, particularly the first one. The games too, but for those looking to just kindof quickly get an overview, make sure you know what to expect from the first movie. It’s a great nutshell slice of the world of Silent Hill, but it contains... multitudes of triggers. Please take care if you watch it! If you want to know if your triggers are in it, feel free to ask and I can tell you. I want everyone to be safe and have fun, not to be seriously upset by anything. <3