#my poor brain needs to focus on some more school shit
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
https://www.tumblr.com/wraithdance/765961917651140608/i-really-liked-your-explanation-of-the-whole?source=share
I am really bad at articulating my thoughts but I think about this a lot as someone who hopes to 1- major in neuroscience (i'm 18, going to uni next year) and 2- is trans. I know being trans is not the same thing at all as POC experiences with fic, very cognizant of that, but more to the point where I relate to the aspect of not being able to get over the like mental wall of seeing "neutral" readers as me? I don't know what my brain is doing when i read certain fics but sometimes i can't do it.
I feel like I should close read some of my favorite fic and least favorite fic to see if there are triggers I didn't notice on the first read. does that make sense or seem similar to what you experience? Again I know it's not the same thing, but like i am so curious as to what cis straight white people put in their fic that makes it so obvious that they're cis straight white.
I am sorry if this bothers you, really not my intentions, I am obviously a future brain nerd and i can't stop thinking about this
Congratulations fellow Nerd! You've activated my interest in Race theory and fandom writing from an academic perspective!
Writing reflects life and to answer this question properly, I have to talk about life shit to catch you up to speed, (this should help if you take a sociology or cultural anthropology class lmao) So, Welcome to:
Calvary yaps: Sociology & Intersectionality in fandom writing 101!
Disclaimer: I'm just a random bitch on the internet who loves English and the ridiculousness of social hierarchies, this will be referencing American social constructs and in groups only, with a focus on my experience as a Black American woman who reads a shit ton of books. Don't fight me if you hate my explanation, I will simply not respond.
Read my house rules before sending me an ask, I'm just being a dumb ass rn and word vomiting my interests, so pls i beg no follow up questions unless I say I'm open to em later.
Definitions to know:
Socialization: the act of preparing individuals to participate in society by learned social norms taught in ones family or social settings like school/friend groups. (one can be socialized in gender, race, cultural practices, etc.)
Social Hierarchies: systems of social organization in which some individuals enjoy a higher social status than others (in my opinion this is a lingering safety measure from lizard brain cavemen hunter/gatherer days)
Intersectionality: A term coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw; The process of acknowledging the unique parallels a marginalized person experiences when they have more than one marginalization (ie: race, class, gender, sexuality, ability, size, etc.)
Matriarchal society: Social groups/family structures that center female figures as representatives of authority.
Implicit Bias: Unintentional bias a person may have towards a group or individual based on learned stereotypes, prejudices, perceptions based on another's background or state of being.
first, yes anon you are making sense! So the main question:
'What cis straight white people put in their fic that makes it so obvious that they're cis straight white?'
I've been mulling this question around in my head for a few days and tried to figure out how to articulate this without going into depth in Sociological theory, but I can't! So here we are lmao, this is long as fuck so TLDR here.
I've talked to a LOT of Black and PoC people over the last months because I thought I was the only one who felt strange or could tell immediately when a writer was white, despite doing the best job they could to be neutral.
Every person I spoke to agreed they could tell right away even if we don't share similar racial backgrounds.
The answer I've come up with to why that is, is because white people are socialized (taught by society/their parents how to behave) in a way many black and PoC people are not, so their reader characters will often act in a way PoC people have learned not to, so it flags for many of us.
I plan to answer another question about this at a later date so an example is with shit like:
An over deference to hyper masculine male characters (for PoC cultures like certain Black/Latine groups that are often matriarchal in nature and don’t ascribe to as many traditional gender roles, this is a flag), lack of interpersonal/familial connection, over meekness, no challenging of external factors so things just HAPPEN to the reader and lack of awareness of surroundings to name a few.
A lot of the language of the irl world places white cis people from Western countries as the default and everyone else as others. In which, PoC people have learned to navigate the world very carefully with a hyper-focus on what will potentially bring them harm/scrutiny/ostracism especially in white dominant spaces.
That extends to when we have down time while reading or partaking in media smfh.
I'm sure you've had to learn the same as a trans person navigating cis spaces and it's the same with any marginalization! If you are disabled you have an awareness of able bodied people and their expectations, same with being fat amongst skinny people, etc.
The more marginalizations you have, the louder the rules of social hierarchies become. Which is why many marginalized ppl stick close to those who 'get it' in their social groups as an act of safety in numbers. (Many of us attempt to have strong family connection/harmony because of this)
So referring to your comment about being trans is not the same thing at all as POC experiences with fic, it is when you are a Black or PoC trans person! My angel face @/buttdumplin has spoken a lot about that as a Mexican transman reading fics by cis people!
(Please for the love of God no one come to me explaining how marginalized they are so they shouldn't be lumped in with the white ppl PoC are cognizant of, I will check myself into a psych ward)
So what does that gotta do with reading fics?
No matter what anyone thinks, it is damn near impossible to not frame your writing from the perspective of your lived experiences. It's why even when I try my hardest to make my characters not sound Black, they will always read that way because I have been Black all of my life!
And it doesn't just happen with race, go on tiktok and search male authors writing women. (or here's another article lmao)
Also ask a Southerner how they know someone has never been to the South and don't know shit about our accents when they write Graves. There are linguistic tells that flag off and why we flame actors who pick up southern accents for their roles.
(They chew on that terrible goddamn Appalachian or Louisiana Accent not realizing Southern accents come in many fonts.)
So when I read a fic about Kyle Garrick from a non black person, I can tell the writer is non black by linguistic implications, the things they emphasize about him and what they don't. It doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy reading fics from non black people, I can just tell!
And sometimes that means I, and other PoC's associate the Reader as a white OC while reading fics.
For example, all black people are not monolithic because of our cultural and regional experiences, but many of us share common threads. That's usually family involvement, colloquialisms, that stupid fucking cookie tin our elders put sewing supplies in...
Other non Black PoC people might share similar cultural practices, so when I'm reading fics from say a latina, I will cock my head and go wait.... are you...? And surely enough, they are a person of color.
But even while reading from a non black PoC, I have to tread carefully because anti black sentiment exists in many cultures, which is why you'll hear me say Black and PoC/Non black people interchangeably.
It’s how the conversation of Implicit bias comes up, because unknowingly non white characters can sometimes be written with a hyper focus that makes them seem inhumanly one characteristic or with little to no background while the other characters are fully fleshed out.
like the character of color is just a stand in to move the plot around white characters forward.
So all that to say, without sometimes meaning to white writers will always sound off to me in a way that my brain can pick up on in the most minuscule ways because my awareness of my blackness/otherness has been drilled in from birth and reinforced by social norms.
I can even tell immediately if a white person has been around only white spaces their whole life with the jokes they tell lol.
In the grand scheme of things the race of the writer is most important to me when something jarring comes up that slaps me away from the experience, it explains so much of the disconnect.
Every marginalized person has a threshold for what they can ignore as a ‘trigger’ before they’re ejected from reader inserts, mine is usually the association with racial historical happenings, certain gender dynamics, etc.
It's why I mention crying like a little bitch when I read my friend Jess's (Kyletogaz) TF 141 Hair series, Dragon’s (Dragonnarative-writes) Transferrable Skills, and even Xavi's (Buttdumplin) Piercing fic.
Reading those fics felt like safety and familiarity. It was a moment where I realized I could drop the mental load I had no idea I was carrying, where I was trying to prepare myself for potential emotional damage and just READ.
It's also why as a Black person who fucks with kink and sex work it's been so touch and go when navigating dark fics/kink fics/fics about Sex workers.
Because there are different rules of engagement non white kinksters have to be aware of and that leads to a point on the collective vs. Individual experience as a PoC in kink, that I’ll eventually make a post about at some point or another. Maybe…
So yeah I’m tired of yapping. I hope this long shit was enough of an explanation!! Thanks to my friends Kiko, Jules, Xavi and Folded for yapping with me so I could articulate this better!!
#asks#calvary talks fandom shit#please I beg don't send me more asks on this#my poor brain needs to focus on some more school shit
84 notes
·
View notes
Text
Honestly yesterday had me really thinking about some of the garbage my sister put me through because it was some of the flashbacks we had and it really got me thinking about it again today and something I REALLY never thought I would say, but...
One of the largest reasons we are doing better and getting back to working with a clear head and all compared to earlier this week and just in general is because my dad actually emotionally supported and helped me.
I've been talking to him a bit about long term plans, graduate school, career stuff and what not because I honestly have come to respect that while he is a really large dumb fuck on a lot of things, he is pretty successful in finances despite literally starting as basically-a-slave in Indonesia and also because he offered to basically also pay for my graduate school and I've really learned to respect that and see it as a generous gift rather than the collar my sister raised me to perceive anything from them as.
But earlier this week especially I was runnign around like a lost chicken with my head cut off because we honestly have A LOT of things going on in our life at the moment and A LOT of decisions to be making that can have A LOT of impact on where we go forward and so it was a lot for me to juggle as a properly balanced fused whole, but when Chunn-brain turned off as a fused whole without anyone noticing and thus never came on, we REALLY couldn't organize our thoughts and plans and were basically entirely running off of sheer "I don't like the current status of our life and its trajectory so I need to take action"
Which lead to us really just starting 40 plans, most of which are non-compatible and really trying to work and focus on keeping literally 40 different diverging paths open because "all of them were good and I don't know which is best so Ill do all of them" thus leading to IMMENSE overload
But I was actually talking to my dad about the main one that we were focusing on and liking and organizing some thoughts and did vent a bit about why we were in such a "rush" and all and while he wasn't this god of emotional support, he left space for it and didn't judge it much other than the "that's kind of how life is" and that its a matter of having to power through it (which I knew and honestly I think it did kind of help me let go of how much I was holding onto and fixating on the "my" part of "my suffering") and also just reminded me and emphasized that I don't need to rush and that he will help fund wherever I go and whatever I do, but just to slow down and think it through a bit more
And that honestly really did kind of slow me down enough to go "I am really going through this too fast" which ended up being a lot of the whole "we need to redivide again" thing
But like... Both because of my dad's actions that I saw myself growing up (extreme and untreated PTSD, moderate support needs Autism, poor science education, poor emotional intelligence and empathy/sympathy/compassion) and the narratives my sister always fed me that in hindsight I don't think were EVER true but really set me up to assume my parents were mega-villains plotting against me 24/7 and that anything nice they do would ALWAYS be a trap and...
Honestly, I know some of it is because they got old and learned to relax and part of it is because we did drag the family through a shit ton of recovery with us by force and what not - but I have realized and firmly believe that both of my parents but my dad ESPECIALLY have never once actually had bad intent and everything they've ever done ever really genuinely does come from their fear for my safety and security growing up combined with both of them having never been given the resources or opportunity to learn to express themselves correctly, emotional regulation, and what not.
My parents have done a shit ton of damage, but I genuinely and firmly think they literally did the absolute best they could with the resources they had - even at their own expense. I think they would still do the best they can to make my life easier even as a mostly independent adult. It's not to say I don't still have occasional trauma responses because the body does keep the score, but I really have no real qualms with them these days so long as they aren't doing triggering behaviors.
My oldest sister though.... she doesn't have that same treatment for a number of reasons, but I digress.
I'm just really surprised - for the first time in my adult life (second time in my entire life that I remember) - my dad actually played a large role in my >emotional wellbeing< and rebounding and honestly.... its amazing how far our family has come from where it was.
I'm really proud of it (excluding my oldest sister but she's disowned by me anyways until she gets her shit together and displays growth and insight along with an apology)
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
MDZS Story Plot Rant
This is an rant for an story idea that I needed to get out of my head so I can focus on finishing some assignments for school. I don’t know why but, I have this thing where my brain just imagine an whole damn storyline which make me lose focus... And I already have the attention span of a turtle..
Here we go, the base of the story involves the junior trio minus Sizhui (There a reason for that) were sent to the past right when the Wens were about to launch an attack on Lotus Pier. Well, they aren’t exactly juniors since they are much older like in their twenties or mid-twenties but, I’m going to just call them the junior trio.
Okay, back to the story they suddenly show up in the middle of Yumeng and see the Wens army coming that they hurry and head to Lotus Pier to warn the Jiangs. The Jiangs along with the juniors don’t even have time to question anything about each other since they are trying to escape alive. Luckily the junior manage to do some quick thinking and Madam Yu is able to survive. (She and her husband deserve some redemption.)
Don’t fully have a idea how the juniors were sent to the past but my brain decided that it got to do with some god or goddess using their power or ability to sent them to the past at the cost of the god or goddess getting punished by the heavens. (My brain is weird...) But, in my brain they only find out later in the story plot when the god or goddess shows up. Anyways the reason that the god or goddess sent them to the past was that the history was bound to repeat itself.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buckle up, because my brain comes up with weird story plot.
Okay, so in the future like a couple of years after the truth was found out about Jin Guangyao, it appear peaceful on the outside but on the inside the cultivation world is still unstable. Since LanlingJin clan reputation is stain with the revelation of what happen with the Wens and all the dirty laundry of the previous sect leaders. Like they are still rich and powerful but many small sects find the Jins to be unworthy of being so powerful. (Honestly don’t fully have an idea on sect politics) Basically greedy and selfish cultivators jealous and wanting more power for themselves. (cough Jin Guangshan cough)
Anyway, the juniors have become adults and are trying to navigate a world full of political intrigue among clans. They also become sworn brothers after a few years of knowing each, unaware of the trouble that was coming their way. As they were growing up they had been trying not to repeat the mistakes of the past generation along with healing from generation trauma... which they don’t exactly achieve... either one...
Honestly I feel bad my brain decided to give these children their own set of generation trauma.
Back to the point, Jin Ling had to handle being sect leader at such a young age and has to deal with corrupt officials and not getting the proper respect as sect leader. Also, dealing with the whispers of insults about his family name and all the sins his uncle and grandfather committed. Through all that Jin Ling has been trying to fix all damage his clan has cause. Which isn’t exactly easy since they all associated him to being like his uncle. (The poor boy also experience way to many people trying to murder him in his early years as sect leader, that he’s a little paranoid) Luckily he has his uncles to support him, and my brain decided this needed some Zhuling. So, Jin Ling and Sizhui had developed feelings for a while and are sort of dating but have to keep it as a secret or shit hits the fan.
Oh funny thing, my brain decide to make the decision of making Jingyi the biological son of Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng. Don’t know how but something along the line of them sharing the same ying and yang that somehow made Jiang Cheng have Jingyi. (Sometime I question my brain decisions...) In my story, they ended sleep together around the time that the sunshot campaign was over or maybe after Wei Wuxian death. I don’t know but, in my story scenarios they had developed feelings for each other but kind got off the wrong start. Consume by alcohol or need for comfort brought them together but due to misunderstanding made them go their separate ways. My brain haven’t fully thought out the whole thing.
Poor Jingyi though, since Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng weren’t exactly perfect parents. When Jiang Cheng found out he was pregnant, he and Xichen decided to let Jingyi grow up in Gusu. And growing up Jingyi barely had any contact with his parents. Only being giving gifts on his birthday and brief visits by the sect leaders on those days. Even Jingyi always had to properly speak to them that he never called them his dads as a child. Not only that but he had to listen to the whispers of calling him a bastard son of two sect leaders who did not love each other. But, growing up he was more outgoing and behave differently that no one associated him with the two sect leaders given the different personality. He also grew distant with them and made excuses when they tried to talk to him. In my storyline, Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen do love their son but don’t really know how to express it unlike how they do with their nephews. (I imagine that their past selves feeling really guilty at seeing Jingyi acting cold towards them.)
Anyways, Jingyi does feel some envy at Jing ling but bottle those emotions to the side seeing how Jin Ling had suffer through a lot. Jin Ling had confronted Jingyi about being cousins but, Jingyi would say they are but Jiang Cheng basically left him in Gusu so he is just Lan Jingyi, an disciple of Gusu clan. My brain decided that their relationship is sort of like Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian. They feel this bond of family but, at the same time Jingyi had to deal with the occasion jabs of Jing ling greatness as sect leader and the attention he gets. While, Jingyi had to listen to subtle insults of the elders on his legitimate right as sect heir and how he was abandon by his fathers as one wallow in grief while the other attend to his nephew. And in a way growing up he becomes really attached to Lan Zhan and Sizhui who are basically like family to him.
Zizhen also has to deal with the pressure of his father about getting ready to become sect leader in a few more years. He finds out that his father was involve in the encampment of the Wens and the extreme treatment that occur there. He tried to confront his old man, who denied and tried to say that the Wens deserve it. Later on, Zizhen’s mother gets brutally murder as retaliation from far-distant relatives of the murdered Wens that managed to somehow survived or had left the Wen sect before the war. Or from people wanting to avenge the atrocities that Zizhen’s father committed. Since that man was not completely innocent since he support Jin Guangshan. (Oh his past self is going to suffer from so much guilt for causing his son so much pain) Anyways Zizhen’s father basically wallows in guilt over his wife death and Zizhen force to become sect leader. He becomes the second youngest sect leader after Jin Ling.
So, Zizhen is fill with rage at his mother’s brutal death that he take revenge which ends in a brutal manner. And has to deal with the amount of acts his father committed after the war. Now, Zizhen’s hands are cover in blood that Zizhen basically abandon the one of the things that brought him happiness which was writing. And he feels that he had done nothing but repeat the same actions that his ancestors had done. Oh, and he becomes more cold towards others in order to get them to respect him and can barely stand staying in the same room with his father.
Sizhui has to deal with learning about his Wen heritage and the heavy burden on being one of the last survivor. I imagine he deals with guilt and has to listen to the whispers related to the Wens. But, still manage to smile through the whole ordeal. (I guess he’s the one who trauma happen mostly in his childhood.) He does have to deal with the expectations of being Lan Zhan’s adopted son and prodigy.
Anyways, the juniors had their own burdens throughout the years but were still sworn brothers until a tragedy occur a few years before they were sent to the past.
Haven’t fully thought it out but, I imagine that it involve a siege or a coup or maybe like an attempt at war again. Personally I feel like the clans probably never learn since they always fear each other or don’t like when one clan starts to grow more stronger.
But, during this event Sizhui ends up dying. (I swear I love my child, but it was necessary for my storyline) One of the scenario, is Jin Ling being responsible for the death of Sizhui, like he accidently ends up killing him because he corrupt by resentment energy or something. The potential angst for this since it remind me of what happen to Yanli. (similar parallel between Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian..) But, Jin Ling doesn’t died and has to live with the guilt. And Jingyi grows to hate Jin Ling and tries to fight him before he face punishment by the Lan elders for attacking a sect leader. While, the Lan elders are upset over the death of Sizhui, they aren’t willing to ruin relationship with the Jins and cause another fight.
A scenario of mine, is that Jingyi has to endure the disciple whips like Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan object to the punishment but, Jingyi tells him that it is necessary since the Lan elders would place blame on Wei Wuxian over Sizhui’s death.(The Lan Elders are petty a-holes) Given that resentment energy was involve, Jingyi doesn’t want Wei Wuxian to suffer anymore after losing his son once again. I imagine he kowtow to lan zhan and beg him to let him do this as Lan Zhan, Sizhui, and Wei Wuxian had treated him with kindness.
He ends up getting like he get fifteen strikes on his back since he fought a sect leader but also refuses to acknowledge his mistake. Further enrage the Lan elders, who wanted a more stronger punishment but Lan Zhan refuses. After the last strike, he ends up in the clinic as he’s getting treated.
Lan Xichen temporarily left seclusion after hearing what happen to his nephew and son. However, Jingyi refuses to acknowledge him as a concern parent and only as sect leader. Xichen would remain from a distance and would leave the clinic to visit his brother and his brother-in-law.
Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan would visit Jingyi at the clinic, causing Jingyi to hug Wei Wuxian as he beg for forgiveness for Sizhui’s death.
Even through tears Wei Wuxian comfort Jingyi and tell him it wasn’t his fault. However, scold him for accepting such a punishment.
Another scenario is Jin Ling grieving over the death of his lover and the guilt that he isolate himself for a few days. That even his uncle was unable to visit him, until Zizhen forcefully manage to enter and see Jin Ling. Even through his grief of losing his sworn brother, Zizhen had to knock some sense into Jin Ling given the political instability among the clans. Jin Ling knowing Zizhen is right, force himself to return back to his position and try to fix the politically instability among the clans.
Haven’t though more on the storyline but, I imagine the god or goddess decided to sent the juniors back in time with some sort of requirement in hopes that the past generation realized the trauma they past down to the future generation. They would have to deal with the war and at the same time tried to connect with the juniors and bond with them in order for them to heal their souls. While, the juniors deal with changing the past to ensure that no one dies.
Another thought involving this storyline was that in the end, the juniors from the future would disappear since the past has change so much. And it this sort of bittersweet but happy ending since the Juniors from the future would disappear from the timeline but at the same time they have some comfort knowing that they would not have to experience any of the suffering and they will always become sworn brothers in this new timeline. Along with helping ensure everyone could be happy in this new timeline. I imagine in one of my scenario that before they disappear, the people of the past see this vision of like Jiang Cheng, Lan Xichen, Wei Wuxian, Lan Zhan, Wen Ning and Sizhui waiting for the juniors. And like Sizhui is waving at them with his gentle smile as the juniors rush towards him. And then it changes to them when they were still teenagers and had big smiles before they disappear completely.
#Mdzs#Lan Zhan#Xicheng#zhuling#Wei Wuxian#story ideas#lan jingyi#lan sizhui#lan wanji#mao dao zu shi#the untamed#just ranting#wangxian#jiang cheng#lan xichen
14 notes
·
View notes
Note
nat -- coming to you with some disheveled thoughts bc you have the best sexiest brain -- i was talkin with one of my other friends about canon-adjacent reiner with a secret marleyan s/o 🤔 specifically, reiner starting a family with them and how torn he'd be about having to keep his lil baby a secret 😩 i'm just here to yell into the void with you about this poor teddy bear man
Rory you are too kind to my brain. It is truly just a lump of mush that fires decent thoughts once in a blue moon but let's see here
I know we were all talkin in the server about exactly how much status becoming a Warrior gets you in Marley, and it doesn't seem like much so definitely would need to be a secret baby.
For stuff like this my brain always swings to someone who is either a doctor or scientists. I know it's definitely not always the case but being in such a profession makes me think that person might be more sympathetic to Eldians cause when things get right down to it, the only way they become "monsters" is through the tampering of Marley science and carrying on this legacy of the 9 through--if we're being frank--barbaric practices ((I've been thinking about the intricacies and ritualism of titan transfers though and would love to chat about that in another post/with peeps))
AAAAAANYWHO....
So maybe they're a medic or someone who's consistently in contact with Reiner and the other Shifters and candidates as their primary physician/researcher?? I feel like it'd need to be someone who'd be close enough to be around when they get sent out on the front lines of the Mid East War battles. It took four flippin years, and doesn't seem like the Shifters were used very often due to the heavy artillery.
I'm getting so in the weeds with this and not what you asked lol
But them spending so much time around Reiner, maybe in the interim after taking blood samples and waiting on test results to take more samples they strike up conversation with him? Maybe they're curious about what things were like over in Paradis, but from a like-- what kinds of plants do they have? Is their food similar? What do their schools teach in history ((cause like is it common knowledge that the king guy erased the memories of the folks on Paradis? I don't think so right? Like do the brass in Marley know? @erudianokabe @lemmetreatya yall are like my lore go tos))
But anywho, maybe it's refreshing for Rei to get to talk about what it's like there without having to focus on the people aspect too much. Or at least the people he knew. So he doesn't have to spend so much time balancing the lying and keeping up pretense?
In my canon adjacent insert au, YN is in a similar profession as above + knew Rei and everyone before they got shipped off. And part of what draws them closer together is they're around when Rei experiences a couple DID shifts that get triggered through some things ((I honestly need to do more research to feel comfy writing those but that's my thought))
But yeah, I think you're right it would be really really tough for Rei having to keep his child a secret. Cause hello, cycles repeating much. I think once knowing about said child he'd do everything he could to be their father short of them calling him their father? Ya know.
I don't think his self loathing and chronic depression egged on by shit tons of survivor's guilt would vanish cause of this new love in his life or their baby. Which sucks. Wish brains weren't so dumb and awful. But I think, he'd be trying to figure out how best to set them both up to be taken care of after his time is up in a couple years. Oh gosh. That'd be such a big thing for him too probably!!
I feel like the baby would definitely not be planned. Cause he wouldn't willingly want to bring a baby into the whole secrecy scenario, but also, then not even being able to be around as a surrogate dad in principle cause he'll be dead no matter what before they're even 8 years old would really crush him. :/
#im sad now#but also have so much stuff to think about and research#so this was nice for my own writing thoughts purposes#rory tag#answered asks#aot meta#aot lore meta#lemmetreatya#keiner tag#reiner braun#reiner headcanons
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
RANDOMIZED?! bottom of the barrel isekai review:
holy shit a modifier!? thats right, im going to start hitting the randomized button on the isekai listings, and now matter what turns up (barring notable exceptions). Today's offering:
Thats right we are waltzing back into ball room hell! Today title is "I used to be a disqualified daughter of the duke."
now lets go through the basic story.
Lets say hi and hello to our poor dear girl Claire, the main protagonist who is currently getting cold shouldered by her boyfriend the crown prince because ill be fucked if we don't ram ourselves dick first into the cliches.
anyways we cant focus on that because we need to talk politics. oops did i say politics, i mean family relations!
as shown, magic and women are closely tied together in this story, claire unfortunately sucks at magic while her sister, charlotte is Great at magic. they are great sisters and their relationship should not be called into question because the protagonist has not called it into question at all.
"hey dox, why aren't you telling us more about claire?"
*shoots you shoots you shoots you shoots you shoots you, serves you some soup, shoots you shoots you shoots you shoots you*
Thats a great question honey bee, that's because claire is Nothing. if i were to lunge out and bite the air, i would taste more in those vibrating molecules and stray traces of gaseous elements then i ever will from whatever void creature claire is.
You see, the conceit of this manga is that it is Cliche. everything you will ready from this title will run to the next cliche instead of breaking away to a story the author may for some odd reason want to share with us. instead of plot we are assaulted with new characters, new ideas, new Things that you have been served before on better platters and with kinder smiles.
but lets not be negative, lets get going.
oh did i say claire and charlotte are good sisters? i mean they are not, and charlotte preforms a heel turn out of nowhere and now we are expected to hate her without getting a second to understand her actions in any capacity.
charlotte has actually been talking mad shit, saying claire is actually a super duper big meanie that is constantly bullying her dear doe eyed lil sister. which of course everyone immediately believes with no hesitation because we are supposed to hate these people uncritically. if they had any more then the scant brain cells required to lift their arms up so their underpaid servants dreaming of stuffing their heads into a guillotine, why we wouldn't have a story now would we?
anyways instead of clearing the air and making it clear to everyone that this is not the case, she cuts her hair to show that she is doing something brave and scary then decides to exile herself immediately because i guess the author couldn't be fucked to draw a decent ball room scene so she could get kicked out.
she takes a nap first to remind everyone that this is actually an isekai and that claire isn't actually the main character but a side character which leads to This Wild Panal later. anyways she gets prophetic dreams about her and her gal pal talking about the game which just so happens to give us vary important plot points.
hey wait a god damn second, ive been talking for five minutes and we aren't surrounded by soft eyed, understanding and blindly loyal anime boys! this wont do at all, this is a god damn outrage!
ah there we go, now we can go back to talking about nothing. the next five chapters can be summed up thusly:
claire is part of a conspiracy, she is the lost princess of a island kingdom thats also supposed to be lost but its fully inhabited and has a school and other such creature comforts... anyways the game has a secret event if you bring claire to the kingdom and have her redo her magic test and oh my stars it looks like shes a super duper secret specialist girl that the gods love! wow, insane, how ever do they come up with all of this?
got all that? did it sound exciting? Its not. they talk through most of this, teleport through even more and only show scant scenes of scintillating light to show shit. its like saw dust for the eyes, the once beautiful reduced down to something so....Eh.
also i ran through that because the last couble of chapters made me fucking blow my casket on discord and now you get to read my rant. anyways we now know that claire is the super secret girl of destiny and oops the pretty boy who follows her around like a puppy is the crown prince of another kingdom that is described to be 10 years ahead of the other kingdom. so i guess she lost absolutely nothing.
she decides that she needs to be Strong and independent so she goes to fantasy hello work, here is where i got scared that it was just a tea shop. relief took me as i realized oh, she was going to be a tutor! thats fine, thats dandy right?
WRONG, SHE NEVER FINISHED HIGHSCHOOL, SHE HAS TO GO BACK TO FUCKING SCHOOL ON THE NEW ISLAND, SHE HAS TO ASK THE PARENTS OF THE KID TO LET HER GO TO SCHOOL
SHE HAS TO DO CLASS BEFORE SHE EVER SEES THIS KID, WE LEARN MORE ABOUT THIS FUCKING SCHOOL THEN WE EVER DO THIS FUCKING CHILD AND HER PARENTS WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO BE NOVUEA RICHE TYPES. WHY DOES THE CHILD NEED A TUTOR? WHAT GRADES IS SHE FAILING AT?
AH DONT FUCKING WORRY ABOUT IT, WE ALREADY KNOW THAT CLAIR IS A WONDERFUL TEACHER! AND SHE IS SO GOD DAMN BUETIFUL AND PRETTY AND SMART AND FUNNY, GOD CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING HER? SO GOD DAMN EFFORTLESS THAT SHE DOSENT EVEN NEED A FOUR YEAR TEACHING DEGREE TO HANDLE THIS POOR CHILDS WOES!
WHAT ADVANCED TOPICS COULD CLAIRE IN HER INFINATE DROP OUT NO CHILD CARE TRAINING ASS HAVE??? WILL SHE PROVIDE THIS CHILD WHO IS MORE LIKELY THEN NOT IN FUCKING GRADE SCHOOL THE ESSENTIAL MATHMATICAL SKILLS SHE WILL NEED AS A NOBLE WOMEN? WILL SHE IMPART ONTO HER THE VAST BREDTH OF KNOWLADGE NEEDED TO PARTAKE IN POLITICS BOTH IN COUNTRY AND ABROAD!?
"AH FUCK IT, WHY DONT YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT TO LEARN TIMMY?" SHE HAS NOTHING PREPARED, SHE HAS NOTHING READY FOR ANY KIND OF LESSON PLAN, WHY DID THOSE FUCKING TROUTS HIRE HER IN THE FIRST PLACE?!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HJAHAHAHAHAHA, OF FUCKING COURSE, OF COURSE! I CANNOT ESCAPE, I CANNOT FIND SOLACE OR REFUGE, IT ALL COMES BACK TO TEA! OH GOD WHO ART IN HEAVEN, BOIL ME, BOIL ME IN EARL GRAY AND ALLOW ME THE SANTIFICATION THAT CAN ONLY COMES WITH THE SKALD OF PURIFYING WATER FOR I AM NOT SINLESS, I FORGET THAT EVERY SINGLE FUCKING ISEKAI LIKE THIS IS FUCKING ***HORNY*** FOR TEA, IT IS A FETISH BEYOND THE DEPTH OF DEPRAVITY WE CAN ONLY HOPE WE CAN AVOID WITNESSING. IT ALL COMES BACK TO THE FUCKJING GALLONS OF TEA THAT MUST BE CONSUMED AND IMBIBED, YES LITTLE GIRL, YOU MUST BE INDOCTIRNATED. WHAT SCHOOLING CAN YOU POSSIBLY HOPE TO LEARN IF YOU CANNOT PARTICIPATE IN THE MOST SACRED ACTIVITY, THE FUCKING TEA PARTY?!
i need to stop... oh, she stops a tornado after this but its so god damn boreing, its a cloudy day that everyone feels werid about, she says a lil diddy and it disappers with some light
apperently its a magical tornado.
then we get a chapter chunk thats meant to make you hate her sister more but christ o maily do you fucking care?
2/10, dont read this.
1 note
·
View note
Text
you brought up such good points and it gave me a platform to yap more so sorry about that
for PTSD and survivor's guilt: i'm a psychologist and i work at the VA where PTSD and survivor's guilt are the name of the game. you'd honestly be really surprised how people can cope through and compartmentalize some of the most horrific shit imaginable.
PTSD is at its worst immediately following the event and several decades after the dust of your life has settled. i often tell people that once you hit your 40s-60s your PTSD will ramp up again, as bad if not worse than it was after the event. now this is specific to veterans, who are 18-25 typically when the event happens, and then spend their 20s-30s trying to go to school, get a job, have a family, start a home. all of this your brain perceives as "trying to survive" so it doesn't try to deal with the trauma just yet. this is also not true for everyone, it's true in most cases i've seen and it's true for my personal PTSD, but there are also some people for whom they never get a break from their trauma.
so immediately after the event, curly's going to have to be going through pretty extensive medical treatment where his primary focus is still going to be surviving in this moment. he's also going to be going through exhausting and painfully and mentally taxing physical therapy. all of this is going to enable him to compartmentalize what happened on the tulpar, since he will still technically be in a life or death situation and living with his sympathetic nervous system activated. in the game we saw how stressed curly was, how sleep deprived he was, and know he was hallucinating too, but was still able to do his job and support his coworkers. to me this show that curly is very resilient and able to compartmentalize things well enough in order to get things done. i think the initial PTSD effects would be pushed aside, and since you only need to get over that initial hump, after awhile he'd be symptom managing instead of dealing with trauma. that distinction may not make total sense and tell me if it doesn't, but there is a difference.
now the survivor's guilt will eat him alive for sure, people don't shake that one off unless they go full avoidance mode. i think curly would be able to flip it to "i have to live for them" because he's nothing if not self-sacrificial. also, curly would blame himself for having brought jimmy along. and after seeing, hearing, and experiencing everything jimmy did to them only for jimmy to kill himself and get out of being held accountable, curly wouldn't want to take that "coward's way out." he'd want to live and heal and get better so he could face the music. he's going to take responsibility not only for what he did but also what jimmy did. their whole lives he's been shouldering the burden of Jimmy, what makes this any different?
thinking about curly's prosthetics and what physical supports he'll have access to is a real tricky one, i agree with you. esp since we do only have limited capabilities today and we have no idea what the world looks like outside the tulpar.
i see people call the pony express scifi amazon and. yeah... i agree. but we make that comparison because we have an analog. so let's look an our analogs. we have a society where we allow amazon to have the working conditions it does. but we also have HUD glasses, controllable prosthetics, we're working on artificial organs, various forms of vocal recovery (we don't know what the damage to curly's speech system are, if he lost his tongue or if his vocal chords were damaged or if he was just in too much pain to speak), the brain chip thing you pointed out, and all sorts of other things either currently available or in the works. society continues to push to improve quality of life without addressing the systems that cause poor quality of life.
and bouncing off that statement into the next thing i wanted to talk about: we can get an idea of what curly's recovery might look like by turning to other scitfi dystopian stories. the cyberpunk and star wars series were the first ones i thought of when making this post. cyberpunk has a prosthetic and augmentation focus, while star wars (motions to darth vader). anakin skywalker also had full body burns, multiple amputations, and damage to his speaking abilities. and look at what they were able to do for him!
the tulpar has a very retro-future vibe that screams fallout to me, so i think poking around in the fallout universe for inspiration would be meaningful. sadly i dont know shit from fuck about fallout other than from monster factory lmfao
i think curly's situation is ultra complicated, which is a good thing for a fandom. it allows everyone to explore it however they want to, whatever's going to bring them catharsis. which is exactly what curly is to jimmy: something to project his own pain and suffering out on and someone too helpless to stop us taking it out on.
edit because i forgot to touch on the money bit: i think pony express would pay a lot to make this incident go away. even tho jimmy was fucking around on the psych evals, he was doing that when they were already in the middle of their mission. pony express obviously cleared him before he even got on the ship, which is going to show faults in their screening and application processes. there were also only 4 cryopods for a crew of 5, even if that's legal it's going to cause such bad PR that they're going to want to hide it. and there was only enough food and air to get them from port to port with no emergency rations, there was also no automatic SOS system in place that would keep track of the ship and alert the company to an issue. the blood is on pony express' hands, and since it's not clear if they went out of business or if they moved to fully automated shipping, either they or the insurance company responsible for them is going to have to pay up. an event this grizzly is gonna be all over the place, look at how society responded to the chilean miners, uruguayan flight 571, the titanic.
i think they're going to try to deny fault first, but once an investigation is done and the evidence comes out, they're gonna pay out the wazoo to shut curly the fuck up and make this all go away and look like sympathetic good guys taking responsibility.
look at the recent disney scandal, where they tried to get out of the death because the wife had signed up for disney+, then back-tracked when they got bad PR, but tried to say they were allowing it to go to trial because of altruistic reasons.
been thinking a lot today about post-rescue curly
a rescue team is going to want to keep him in cryo until they can figure out not only how to transport him but how to treat him. keeping him in a medically induced coma after that while he goes thru multiple surgeries. what does the medical technology look like in the future? what does his treatment and rehab look like? how easily do his skin grafts take? are his prosthetic neuro-linked and controllable? does he get a cyber eye? or is it long and hard and painful and riddled with infection and rejection and set back like it would be now? will he ever be able to vocally speak again or will he use sign language or an AAC board or other speech generating device?
did the ship's security camera keep running and recording after the crash? during the hearing will curly have to watch everything happen all over again? or did it go out like the radio and curly will have to give detailed testimony over and over and over again?
will he have to face anya and jimmy and swansea and daisuke's families during the hearing or during the settlement process? will they understand? will they hate him? will they blame him? will they comfort him? and if the cameras work and daisukes parents hear that their son was the one who was chosen to survive, but curly got his seat? will curly be able to live with knowing that?
what does his future look like? does he live off the settlement money or does he have to go back to work? does he write a book or sign over movie rights? does he get hounded by media and press wanting to parade him around all over tv and radio and newspapers and magazines? do people pressure him to do a lecture circuit? do true crime people ever leave him alone? how long is it before he's able to just go to the grocery store in peace?
what does a life for him look like?
173 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay, because it’s still in my brain after chatting with @sanguine-tenshi and i can do what i want here’s a “little” write up thing about this whole “Billy befriends a teen mom” au. for starters I’m naming this girl Donna bc man.... her not having a name makes this shit so much more difficult to talk about dkfjghsdf
for starters, no weird sci-fi shit in this au. there’s already enough stuff to tackle in this shit show i’m not also wrestling with that shit. stuff like Eleven can just be translated into her being Hopper’s adopted daughter it’s fine don’t worry about it.
okay god first off some SETTING:
Donna herself is smart, funny and reliable. Big camp counselor energies. She wasn’t popular but she was generally well liked. She has a part time job and tutors when she can for extra cash. Donna’s mom was a single teen mom too and they live in the same trailer park as Eddie, Donna’s grandparents were very religious so she left as fast as she could for her and Donna’s safety. Wayne’s always been very good to them and helped her mom out so he’s also Uncle Wayne to her and she and Eddie used to play when they were little though they’d drifted apart by the time they’re in high school. Donna’s mom and Joyce are likely friends as well, either all the way back from school or once Joyce joined the poor single mom club.
Donna getting pregnant was a big surprise to everyone because she never struck people as “““““““““““that kind of girl”””””””””””””. People suck and are gross. Her mom is supportive but she’s disappointed and struggles to hide that fact sometimes, especially when she drinks. She’d wanted more for Donna than a repeat of her own mistakes and she thought Donna’d had a real chance at making something of herself (we’re not gonna touch on how getting pregnant isn’t you know, a fucking death sentence and how fucked this thinking is).
Donna never says to anyone who the dad is which only adds to the scandal and disappointment because people Make Assumptions. (this is absolutely just me endlessly waffling on what to do with this. you could make it a Known Person from like the cast for the added drama later on if you wanted or just default to something like it’s Just Some Older Guy who’s in college now and she doesn’t wanna get into it. it really only matters if you want to use it for drama or something bc otherwise the focus is more on Billy and Donna and his Growth so.)
Joyce and the Byers boys is also supportive, because like of course Joyce is gonna be supportive of a girl in this position she knows what it’s like to be a single mom when you’re an adult. A teen? WOOF. And Jonathan and Will are just very nice people and good boys so like ofc they’re not dicks and they don’t spread shit about her. Jonathan is naturally more helpful and willing to lend a hand since he’s older and already like 50% a parent as is dkjgsfgs. Donna tends to turn to Joyce more and more over time as her mom’s disappointment and issues become more obvious.
Since there’s no weird sci-fi shit around to help spur on his Character Development I’m gonna make “not being an absolute monster to the pregnant girl” the hill Steve opts to die on. Like if we’re gonna say Steve’s big dream is a family I cannot imagine him being actively cruel to someone his age who’s having a kid? also he’s just you know.... not that shitty, especially when he’s not you know, upset like he was when he thought he was being cheated on. Him and Nancy are immediately really kind and supportive. the stancy struggle that came from barb’s death tho now is coming from differing opinions over Donna. As they’re talking to her and helping out Steve is getting a very rude awakening about how hard this shit is and especially how hard it is for a teen and is increasingly serious about helping out. Like he’s got cash, a more reliable car than hers, time, etc. Why shouldn’t he be putting some of that towards helping out someone who clearly is gonna need a LOT of it?
Nancy is struggling tho. Remember, she’s a fucking 10th grader at this point. Donna and Steve are juniors. We hear Nancy talk about not being like “other girls” or “easy” in season 1. She has not yet had her feminist awakening and Barb is probably not helping that lbr. Barb didn’t even want her to smash when she was enthusiastically consenting to it with her stable boyfriend. Nancy wanted to just put in her time being performatively nice and then dip. Intellectually she knows Steve’s got a point, she’s hearing how difficult this is going to be and she knows Donna needs all the real help she can get but she also doesn’t want to be associated with one of Those Girls because she’s scared of what people will think of her. But you know, how can she say that without sounding like a huge bitch? You and also add in that people are spreading rumors that it’s Steve’s kid because he’s being so helpful and that’s totally the only reason anyone would ever be nice ever. Obviously. 😒 Behold, relationship drama.
Chrissy is also naturally someone who’s very sweet and helpful to Donna. Because ofc she is. It’s fucking Chrissy Cunningham.
OKAY NOW THE BILLY PART JFC (ironically UNDER A CUT BC THIS POINT IS JUST TOO LONG)
I’m not in the mood to work out all the timing on this shit but by the time they move to Hawkins Donna’s had the baby. Also maybe twins? Sanguine mentioned that Billy would be cute w/ a rowdy boy or a shy girl and I love both concept (shy boy and/or rowdy girl is also Very Cute) and making decisions is my enemy. it’s really whatever you’d wanna do idk someone make the choice for me lol. But yes. The baby is born and Donna is back in school for her last year.
Billy ofc hears about her having a kid because everyone is DYING to tell him all the podunk town gossip. This is one of the few things that actually catches his attention tho. He doesn’t like how they’re talking about her tho, he has a much more neutral opinion on the whole teen mom thing since he’s from a bigger city. Billy also has a LOT of issues around moms, families, parents, kids etc whether he’s even aware of them and how deep they are or not. But just something about Donna and her kid(s) just sticks in his craw. Even so, he doesn’t really talk to her much though outside of normal stuff like class though he does shut down shit talk about her when he hears it.
The first time he sees the baby/ies is at a basketball game. There’s like nothing going on in a town like this so it’s one of the few things she can go to to just get out of the house and all the excitement tuckers the baby/ies out. Steve and Chrissy make a b-line right over to Donna after the game to say hi and see the baby/ies. Billy also uses it as an opening to meet the kid(s) and talk. It’s probably the first real conversation he’s ever had with Donna. She leaves shortly after to go put the kiddies to sleep.
But it cracks the seal and now Billy is talking to her more. You could take this relationship romantically or platonically, I don’t think one is better than the other. I do think though that Billy starts off thinking that he’s not allowed to care/be close to a girl if he’s not in a relationship with them. Because you cannot tell me Neil didn’t push that fucked up shit about how boys and girls can’t be friends and shit how like there’s only women who’re your family and thus non-sexual and women you’re not related to who you can only interact with via sex.
And Billy does care so he thinks he has to date her. He doesn’t. And he goes get that memo and is just like “oh sweet”. You could then continue on with a much healthier romantic dynamic or a 100% platonic one. I don’t care the point of the concept isn’t for a set up for a romance. It’s point is that Billy makes a friend and learns a lot about himself and his life via child care and grows as a person.
Billy and Donna become closer and Billy helps out more and more with life and the baby/ies. Donna is a pretty stable, self-assured person and she doesn’t let people get her down and Billy actually finds that really good for him to be around cause he’s an insecure anxious mess. She’s very protective of her baby/ies and really very committed to being a good mom, which ofc makes him think about his mom and Susan and comparing them all against each other. Which gives him some more inside into the situations those two women were/are in. It doesn’t magically make him forgive them for their actions (abandoning him, not helping him) but it does help him understand that it’s messy and complex on their end too. He is literally seeing before his eyes how much of a struggle being a single mom is, it helps him get some perspective and round out his understanding of parent-child dynamics.
And helping to care for a baby, seeing how little and small kids really are. It’s a fucking head trip and it can really send him spirally sometimes. Maybe he doesn’t get that hitting your kids is bad. He grew up his whole life with Neil abusing him, he might think that’s a normal part of raising a kid. But now here he is holding a baby, changing diapers, going to the park and seeing all these other little kids playing. He’s really seeing how small and vulnerable they are, he’s seeing and experiencing some of that responsibility for taking care of a little person and the cognitive dissonance is INSANE. he cannot IMAGINE taking a hand to Donna’s kid(s) or any of the other kids on the playground. The idea that someone WOULD is BONKERS to him. But... his dad did, his dad still does. His dad does all kinds of shit to him that Billy would never do to a kid or let slide if he saw it happening. So he’s uh.... yeah. there’s a meltdown or 8 fdsgfgdsdsf. a lot of unlearning and reprograming etc etc.
Billy will adamantly say he’s not trying to be their dad, he just wants to help out because she’s his friend/girlfriend/whatever. That he’d be a shit dad because his dad’s a shit dad, he doesn’t want to have kids etc etc etc. But he’s absolutely filling that empty role currently and doing a absolutely banger job at it. Billy likes kids and he likes looking after them. He will change a diaper with only mild complaining. insanity.
He likes to play with the baby/ies, he’ll get down on his stomach like them and everything. He likes to watch them sleep. Loves to hold them. It’s Donna’s kid but he can’t help but feel a little protective and possessive of them too. It would break his heart into smithereens not see them anymore.
He even brings Max over sometimes when he’s heading over to Donna’s to help out. Max and Donna get on and Max stops eyeing the baby/ies like it’s an alien after like the 4th time and actually holds them. She’s already claiming Aunt Max. Jane and Will have also seen the baby/ies. Hopper (likely with some prompting from Joyce lbr) is some kinda helpful and sometimes he shows up with Jane.
Steve, Chrissy, Jonathan, Joyce, Billy and Eddie (but only with Billy and only because Billy dragged him along) and later Robin (but only with Steve) become the babysitter rotation when Donna and her mom have to work/do errands/have an emergency. Also real talk helping take care of kids literally does nothing to help Steve and his baby fever rip my dude you’re so fucked.
Billy starts to factor Donna and the baby/ies into his plans to get the fuck out of Hawkins too. Starts trying to get more work and make more cash saved up, talking to Eddie and later Steve about their plans and what they’re all aiming to do next and planning where to go and what they’re gonna need. Like half the group, Joyce and Hopper included, are very committed to getting Donna and the kid(s) out of there and somewhere better.
Somehow it ends up with a bunch of them moving out to Cali. Steve ends up in culinary school, Eddie and Billy are putting a band together while Billy’s also in school for [DEGREE OF CHOICE], Chrissy joins up later when she goes to college, same with Robin. It’d be fun if the Byers-Hoppers still moved out to Cali too, just cause. Argyle can be there, literally why not?
The kid(s) get a little older and Billy is excited to teach them how to swim, starts talking about surfing lessons when they’re older. Donna laughs and gives him the ok and he’s over the moon. He and Donna are 10/10 great friends who really work well as a team and a great co-parenting duo. Billy is happy and feeling good about himself. Lowkey reparenting himself thru parenting the kid(s). Don’t ask me what Donna’s doing i’m already fighting for my life here.
I COULD SERIOUSLY GO ON MORE ABOUT THIS AND ALL THE POSSIBILITIES (steve and billy both wanting to be a Dad Figure and there being tension???? nancy’s feminist awakening and coming around to helping out???? eddie and jonathan wanting to make sure the baby/ies gets a good musical education early but disagreeing on what that means, i could literally keep going) but this is already SO MUCH LONGER THAN I WANTED AND AT THIS RATE I’D LITERALLY JUST BE WRITING A FULL ON FANFIC SO DKFJSLGHKJLSFDS
#SEND HELP IDK WHAT TO TAG THIS FUCK#fic ideas#ocs#billy hargrove#tagging him bc OSTENSIBLY THIS IS ABOUT BILLY BUT I HAD SO MUCH TO COVER I GOT OFF TRACK A LOT DFKLGJHSJKFD
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Brothers and Side Characters Go on a Road Trip!
So, Diavolo, Lord of the Devildom, wants to go on a road trip for reasons unknown. You know what? Screw it, the reason is because Dia wants to do a fun human thing because MC brought it up during tea time. No one can defy the king, so TIME FOR A ROAD TRIP!
Shut Up! HE DOESN’T NEED DIRECTIONS! (Lucifer)
He was going to turn that car around. That’s it, he was going to leave. Someone else drive.
I hope your MC likes staticky traffic updates because that’s what Lucifer constantly had on the radio.
Obviously, some of the brothers complained, so Lucifer put on Beethoven’s Symphony no. 9. HELL YEAH TURN IT UP DJ!
Lol JK no one can car-dance to classical music. Just go back to the staticky traffic updates…
Lucifer would have preferred it if MC or Barbatos were riding shotgun next to him, but Diavolo ended up getting it. Dia is constantly asking Lucifer to stop so he can take pictures of the most mundane shit.
Lucifer stopped stopping after the first fifteen requests.
“I’m not stopping at McDonalds- hang on. Hi McDonald’s employee, one black coffee please.”
In true father fashion, Lucifer got lost and REFUSED to ask for directions. They were lost for five hours before Diavolo finally asked:
“Lucifer, you can turn on the GPS right?”
“Yes, but I don’t trust it.”
Everyone screamed in frustration and were all fully prepared to abandon Lucifer at the side of the road.
Please… can someone else drive? Anyone else…
Are We There Yeeeet..? (Mammon)
Okay, so, Mammon was one of two ways on that road trip. One: complete ADHD daydream zoned out. Or type Two: AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRREEEEE WEEEEEEEE THEEEEEEEEERRRRRREEEE YEEEEEEET???!
He wanted to stop and go to all the tourist traps, by the end of the road trip Mammon wanted to open his own.
The Avatar of Greed loves driving, problem is, he’s used to driving off into the sunset as a lone bachelor, not with his friends and brothers in the car as well.
He only got to drive once, and it was awful. 0/10 would not recommend. Luke thought MC was driving and called shotgun…
Mammon just turns on the radio for music and hopes something good is on at least ONE channel.
STOP WEAVING BETWEEN LANES YOU MORON-
Not all of Mammon’s time driving was bad, the combined powers of Luke and Mammon meant that everyone stopped at a petting zoo at the side of the road. Everyone had a good time, even though when they got back into the car they all smelled like a farm.
Did anyone else hear that oinking in the car-
*Vibes to Music in the Backseat* (Levi)
After being cruelly dragged from his room and placed in this stupid van… he just climbed into the backseat and put on his headphones.
Maybe anime openings could drown out this problem…
Levi only drove for fifteen minutes, it was the most terrifying fifteen minutes of everyone’s lives.
Mario Kart is not a substitute for proper driving school!
Listen- Levi actually saved the entire trip, after stopping at a gas station everyone noticed that Levi never complained about what was on the radio because he was wearing headphones, so everyone bought their own pair and the car trip was so much more pleasant…
No matter how many times Lucifer told Levi to get his feet off the seat, he wouldn’t listen, he was GAMING and they took him away from his gaming chair! HE NEEDED TO SCRUNCH HIMSELF UP LIKE A GOBLIN TO FOCUS DAMMIT!
Whenever the car would stop so everyone could get out and take a picture or look at something, Levi had to be practically dragged out of the car and manually posed for the pictures.
“Is this one of those vans with TVs in them? I brought the first five volumes of TSL on DVD!”
While Satan was driving they stopped at a lake, and Levi burst out of the car and made friends with all the lake fish.
He was still soaking wet when they had to leave.
I’m a Responsible Driver- IS THAT AN OLD BOOKSTORE?! (Satan)
Satan, we believed in you…
Our favourite nerd wanted to stop at any and all historical spots or cool looking bookstores he saw.
When everyone went to buy headphones, he got a pair with cat-ears on them! Because obviously!
Satan’s a responsible driver, and he’s not as prone to road rage as one might think. He has patience, remember in the Jobs event when he worked in customer service? Those kinds of jobs take a godlike amount of self control to do.
Asmo called shotgun and Satan got to have the wonderful experience of having his ear chatted off by his dear brother.
Satan was not about to have fast food for the eighth time in four days, if everyone wanted food, he’d stop at a restaurant.
He was terribly sorry to anyone who needed to use the restroom, but they should have gone at the last rest stop.
When Satan stopped at the lake, he gave everyone a long lecture on the historical significance of the place, then noticed that Levi was being crowned king of the lake and decided he should cut his history lesson short before Levi abandoned his family to chill with the fish forever.
I wanted Satan to be the normal chill one with the radio… I really did… but deep in my subconscious I feel like Satan would put on one of those language learning DVDs so he can learn another language on the go like a total dork.
Road Rage (Asmodeus)
No one saw this coming but- Asmo gets some B A D road rage. Someone cuts him off? “Hi hello dear, WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SHOVE MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS?!” Someone doesn’t use a turn signal? “YOU BRAIN DEAD MORON! LEARN TO DRIVE!” Someone just pisses him off? “*prolonged horn sound*”
It’s just… the car trip was so taxing on the poor Avatar of Lust… he was crammed into the middle seat for the majority of the trip… he had to give his sleeping mask to Belphie… Beel was getting crumbs all over him and he couldn’t move over… just so tragic…
Solomon called shotgun and it was the greatest couple of hours of his life. He got a front row seat to Lucifer and Barbatos dragging Asmo back into the car because he tried to pick a fight with another driver.
Asmo wasn’t having a good time…
He didn’t want to stop for any gas station food or go through a drive-thru so it was another expensive restaurant trip. Rest In Peace to the gang’s wallets.
When he wasn’t driving, Asmo was loudly talking with MC or talking on the phone. It was a blessing in disguise when they went through an area with bad phone reception and Asmo finally had to shut up.
Oh well… at least he got a few nice pictures for Devilgram.
MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! (Beel)
We all know Beel is massive, right? His head is touching the ceiling and every speed-bump hurt.
He’s the one begging to stop at every gas station or fast food place they pass by.
Beel’s section in the car was covered in empty bags of Doritos by the end of the trip.
When Beel got to drive, Belphie got shotgun! Hell yeah dream team!
Poor Beel, he got distracted and ended up somehow popping a tire. He pulled over next to a farm, changed the tire, then got back in the car and kept driving.
Uh… there was an awful lack of snoring next to Beel- OH FUCK THEY LEFT BELPHIE!
Belphie was found sleeping next to the cows on the farm they had stopped at earlier.
The cows didn’t want to give their sleepy god up so easily…
After that… Beel didn’t want to drive anymore…
“Look, cows.” (Belphie)
I really need to stop with the cow jokes but I CAN’T
*snore*
Belphie’s crammed between Beel and MC for most of the trip and is probably drooling all over poor MC’s lap or shoulder.
Beware, he jolts up randomly and looks around in a panic before he realizes he’s in a car. This happens every three hours.
Belphie’s not allowed to drive, he’d fall asleep. But when Lucifer takes the wheel and puts on that fucking staticky radio, Belphie forms an idea.
“*ahem* four thousand bottles of beer on the wall, four thousand bottles of beer,”
Mission success, Lucifer wanted to tear his hair out.
Belphie ended up asking to stop when they get to a stretch of road with no streetlights, everyone got out of the and stared at the stars.
…listen, it’s a miracle no one got axe murdered but the stars were gorgeous.
Remember when I said Satan put on those language learning DVDs? Yeah uh…. Belphie woke up from his last nap of the trip almost fully fluent in Spanish. At least one person gained a new skill on this trip…
Oooo, Look at Thaaaaat! (Diavolo)
Even though the side characters were in a different car most of the time, sometimes people would switch to the other car if they met up at a gas station.
By the end of the road trip Dia looked like one of those tourist dads, Hawaiian shirt and all.
Dia can’t drive
He’s absorbing human culture… and human culture involves ordering everything at this random Wendy’s.
Diavolo’s camera roll is so unbelievably full by the end of the trip and he refuses to delete ANY of the pictures.
Most of the pictures are of really weird and boring stuff, like traffic signs and trees, but the picture he ends up printing out and putting in a picture frame is a picture of the whole group at the petting zoo having a grand old time.
He wanted to take home a baby goat but Barbatos said that wasn’t a good idea :(
Help. (Barbatos)
So, it could have been worse for Barbatos, he could have been stuck in the car with the brothers and MC.
Dia always had the seat up front, but when he left the car to go hang out with the dude-squad, Solomon got the passenger seat.
Solomon decided it would be a good idea to pester Barbatos to go faster and take weird shortcuts through (probably not legal) backroads and creepy forest paths.
Good thing Barbatos, Luke, and Simeon had functioning brain cells and knew that’s how horror movies began.
Barbatos stopped for fast food once and only once. It’s not healthy!
He’s the only driver to take suggestions for music, meaning that the side characters’ car was the best one of the two.
“SOMEONE GET THE BARF BAG!”(Simeon)
He’s just… he’s just trying his best not to vomit…
Simeon thought the car would be a good place to get some writing done while they drove down long stretches of road. Simeon was wrong in that assumption.
With his head down way too much while the car zoomed down the highway, Simeon felt himself getting *very* sick about four hours in.
He was worried he may have accidentally eaten something of Solomon’s… but nope. The angel was carsick.
Luke had the important job of patting Simeon on the back as he leaned over the barf-bag while Solomon dry heaved up front.
Hurry and open the windows before Solomon barfs too!!!!
Other than the car sickness, he had the job of making sure Luke was entertained, there was a good hour of eye-spy until they just got to a stretch of forest.
After that, Simeon realized that he could just give Luke free permission to ramble about whatever he wanted and that would keep the little guy entertained for HOURS.
What do You Mean I Can’t Legally Make This Turn?! (Solomon)
Shifty bastard can drive, problem is, he doesn’t care about the laws of the road.
He ended up getting pulled over after breaking approximately 11 traffic laws in less than ten minutes.
“License and registration.” “Yeah yeah yeah…” “…sir, this license expired in 1989.” “…shit.”
Solomon gunned it and managed to use his magic to hide the car and evade the very confused traffic cop.
Luke was completely aghast at the flagrant law breaking, but Solomon’s excuse was that the 80s were a lawless wasteland and he completely forgot he legally had to update his license.
He’s an equally obnoxious passenger as he is driver, but at least no one in the car is bored.
“You know, back in the day cars didn’t have seatbelts.” “Solomon put your seatbelt back on.”
…Can we keep it? (Luke)
He was against this from the start. A road trip? With those nasty demons? No! Never!
Okay fine… maybe he wanted to see some more of the human world… he agreed to go.
After helping Simeon through his car sickness, he misheard the other car say that MC would be driving, and Luke wanted to hang out with his third parent 🥺
That’s how he ended up riding shotgun next to Mammon. It started out rough, but when the two spotted the petting zoo it was all sunshine and rainbows.
Luke made friends with all the animals! He was like a little Disney Prince. He got especially attached to this one piglet, it was a surprise to Simeon that the goodbye wasn’t tearful.
Luke smuggled that piglet out of the petting zoo and they were all over fifty miles away before anyone noticed.
Of course, everyone was just shocked that Luke had stolen something, but he looked so cute holding the little piggy… awwww…
The bros obviously joked that Luke had gone to the dark side and was totally evil because he had taken the pig, much to the poor kid’s dismay.
Simeon tried to convince Luke that he needed to return the piglet but Luke was adamant that he could totally take good care of it.
Welp, time for Lucifer to fix this.
“Luke, you need to go put the pig back, it’s not yours.”
“No! I’ll take good care of it!”
“That doesn’t matter, you stole it. It’s not your property, do you want to end up a scummy thief like Mammon?”
“No not at all. Let’s go return the pig.”
“THAT’S ALL IT TOOK?!”
#Obey me#Obey me!#Obey me Headcanons#obey me shall we date#obey me! shall we date?#Obey me Lucifer#Obey me Luke#Obey me Simeon#Obey me Diavolo#Obey me Solomon#Obey me Barbatos#Obey me Mammon#Obey me Leviathan#Obey me Belphegor#Obey me Beelzebub#Obey me Asmodeus#Obey me Satan
888 notes
·
View notes
Note
You have way more wisdom and experience than I do and also approach topics with a lot of nuance (which I really appreciate) so I was hoping you could offer some help. If this ask is too heavy or it's too weird feel free to ignore.
I've been Poor my whole life and I've also been severely mentally ill most of my life. Mental health care isn't covered by my country's government and therapy is really expensive so I pushed on using mostly online tips and tricks to manage my depression. But that's not working anymore. I do everything I see online but it's not helping any longer. I've journaled in old school notebooks, I've worked out at home so much I'd be buff if I wasn't too underweight to gain muscle, the little food I can afford is so meticulously chosen as to be healthy that I put health food bloggers to shame and a host of other stuff people tell you will cure depression.
I recently realized that a lot of the things that happened to me as a kid were actually extremely traumatic and abusive which only added to it.
I'm desperate for any support but I can't afford therapy and I also can't just say to my friends "I need you to help me with complex trauma." that would be overstepping boundaries and also very entitled of me, so I'm definitely not doing that.
I worry that eventually it will be too much and I'll fully have a mental breakdown, which would be disastrous for me as I pay for my college myself and a mental breakdown wouldn't exactly be good for my barely above minimum wage job.
How do I prevent that? Are there any sources that can assist you when you know that realistically you can't afford therapy? Or are there books or online services that can help? Is there way to work through this right now until I save enough for a therapist. I'm at my wits end and it's starting to become obvious to those around me that I'm struggling a lot mentally. Just going through the day is soul crushing and my only motivation is the money I pay for my degree not being wasted.
This is a lot to ask from anyone, especially an online stranger, so please don't feel obligated to answer. if you can't answer that's fine and I'll probably ask Reddit again. Also if any part of this is trauma dumping please let me know as I struggle with knowing when I'm just telling people stuff and when I'm trauma dumping
--
Nah, this isn't trauma dumping. That usually involves more details of what happened to you and is often in a derailing context in an existing conversation.
Unfortunately, if there were easy answers, you'd already have found them.
The first thing is not to beat yourself up. Mental illness and poverty do a number on anybody.
All that "go jogging to feel better" shit is for people who have mild situational depression. You don't. No matter how hard you work, none of that crap is going to fix it. I mean, eating healthy couldn't hurt, but it's not your fault it didn't work. It was never going to work.
Yours is presumably a brain that needs meds, and until you can afford to pump some different chemicals into it, it's going to keep making the wrong ones and ruining your day. Health is a nice goal... Under the current circumstances, however, I think a more useful goal is just to survive. Every day above ground is a win.
As long as you're still kicking, there's always time for things to improve. You don't need to be a superhero and fix yourself right now. You just need to make it through school till you can at least focus on just the shitty job instead of the shitty job plus school. (And hopefully, a better job, eventually.) Whatever keeps you upright and heading for that goal is what you should do.
In terms of specific resources, you could try looking up the DBT resources other people have been talking about. DBT seems to be used on otherwise intractable depression, suicidal tendencies, etc. and often on people with a hot mess of a childhood.
Unstructured journaling and general "try to be healthy" stuff has not helped, so I would focus on more structured practices that involve specific homework. Meditation and mindfulness exercises may help (and are a part of DBT).
46 notes
·
View notes
Text
Pairing: tall! & sub! Reader x dom! OT7 BTS
Gender of the Reader: male
Word Count: 2.3k
Rating: 18+
Genre: Smut/PwP
Warnings: Dirty Language + Dirty Talk; Dom-/Sub-Dynamics; accidental overhearing of a phone call, Mentions of Exhibitionism & Voyeurism; Mentions of Sex Toys & Masturbation; slightly mentioned Double Penetration; mentions of Anal play; Praising; Petnames; some Degradation; Daddy-Kink; Teasing; slight Edging; the boys are teasing the poor reader to Death
A/N: Well- that was a quick writing. Instead of studying I decided to write this funny request and to use my procrastination in a better way than scrolling stressed through TikTok. I hope y’all like it!!
Status: unedited bc I am lazy and should study.
Request: i want to request a drabble/one shot: sub taller male reader and his seven boyfriends in which he confidently talks naughty things with his friend on phone but when he realized his bf are watching, he became crazily shy because he is just a big cute boy, then his bf decided they want to test those ‘words’ he has said, poor boy =))
Requested by: anonymous
[Links]:
▪My Writings
▪Blog Navigation
「© tipsydipsydo」
This following story is my intellectual property and belongs only to my blog tipsydipsydo.tumblr.com!
I’ll not accept any kind of reposting, stealing or using/editing my work!
That includes reposting my content on other social media platforms too, even when you link me as the original author.
Thank you.
After too many and super busy weeks full of work, you’ve finally managed to find a free afternoon in your schedule where your best friend and you have enough time for a nice, long telephone call on the couch. You are already over one and a half hour on the phone, exchanging the newest stuff that happened in your life with each other and joking around. Slowly your conversation turns their focus to your more private life and your bestie asks you about your polyamorous relationship with your boyfriends. At first just normal things like, how’s it going in general, how you all manage the relationship with all the different time schedules, how often it comes to fights and how you deal with that etc. Just normal stuff and the ‘typical’ questions you’re already used to, when people realize that you’re not in a monogamous relationship.
Your best friend and you grew up together. You met each other in elementary school, went through the curses of puberty as an inseparable team and even survived middle and high school thanks to the other one. Already in your teens, where both of you made your first experiences and got into your first relationships, your best friend had a guess that you’re not as straight as you want him to believe. No, they even assumed that you’re maybe not made for the typical monogamous relationship which the society preach every fucking day.
Well, turns out that your best friend really knew you better than you did yourself back then but honestly, nowadays you’re thankful for their suggestions and that they gave you the save space you needed to dare to make new experiences in those directions.
Nevertheless, they were still more than surprised when you introduced him to not only two or three boyfriends, no that you brought seven (!) other men to their birthday party two years ago. At first they were a little worried if you didn’t overload yourself with such a complex relationship dynamic and that it’ll turn out as a serious burden and not an enrichment for your life. Turns out, now it was their turn to make a false assumption about what’s the best for you and theu were more than happy to admit that everything turned out just fine. It truly makes their heart swell to hear the happiness in your voice through the phone everything you mention something about the boys.
Quickly your phone call turn into an even more private talk and dedicate itself to the really interesting stuff. You’re sharing every detail in your life with another, so why should it stop when it comes to sex talk? You have absolutely no problem and any shame to talk freely with your best friend about your kinks and dirty thoughts. Sometimes you even think that you’re better informed about each other’s preferences better than your actual partner(s) are.
“I think, I already told you that idea more than once... that I have a thing for exhibitionism and the thought of getting catched doing something ‘forbitten’ or ‘dirty’, right? Uhm... TMI but I don’t give a shit, whenever I am alone at home because they’re busy and we can’t meet for some days... I mastubate with some of the toys they’ve bought for me and imagine that they catch me. You know, when we have sessions with Dom and Sub Dynamics, they’re only temporarily and usually we go back to normal in the moment when the scene is over... that means, when I am alone and horny, I can do whatever I want to. I can jack off or fuck myself as much I desire and they wouldn’t say anything about it. It’s not like, I don’t appreciate my personal freedom when it comes to masturbation or that I want something completely different, no! We both already talked about that too, I don’t like the idea of Total Power Exchange, I prefer to be an independent person as soon as I walk out of the bedroom- okay, not only bedroom, we have sex in other places than the bedroom too- ANYWAY, what I wanted to say with that: ...”, you mutter and take a deep breath into your lungs.
After holding such a long monologue your mouth dried up terribly and now you need quickly something to drink. You get up from the couch and walk over to the kitchen island to pour some soda into a glass. A satisfied hum leaves your throat after you took some gulps of your favourite sparkling sugar bomb.
The whole time, where you moved around in the eat-in kitchen of the apartment, you are not that alone anymore as you thought you’d be, especially right in this moment. Namjoon, Hoseok and a boyish smirking Jimin joined you around ten minutes ago, leaning casually against the wall next to the door of the room and listen very interested to the conversation you have with your friend right now. They didn’t mean to overhear your private talk, they just wanted to know what kind of take-out food you’d prefer for tonight.
Unfortunately your conversation turned out to be very, very interesting for them, so they decided to give you some more time to talk with your best friend about the sexual fantasies you have which they don’t know about... well, until now.
Hoseok texted the other boys in the group chat to join them in the living room as well, they need to hear those very important information too!
Poor you, completely oblivious and naïve to what’s happening in this moment, not getting any kind of hint that not only your best friend would get those significant informations...
“...-what I actually wanted to say with that: I prefer to be independent in relation to all other non-sexual life-responsibilities. Well, that doesn’t mean we couldn’t increase the Erotic Power Exchange, right? To be very honest, I can’t get the fantasy of them taking my sextoys away and to forbid me to touch myself without their permission out of my head. I love to be their good boy and to get praises, I really do... but there is this thrill to be break the instructed rules, getting caught while doing it and getting punished for it. I want... I want to get called bad, filthy and dirty names, I want to be a disobedient, greedy and insatiable slut for them. I want to get spanked, edged and overstimulated, I want to get fucked into the mattress so bad, up to the point where I can’t get a single clear thought together and my brain turned to mush... I want to get used, ruined and wrecked by their cocks, getting my holes stuffed full with their cum and then plugged up, so nothing can run out anymore- God fuck, I should stop talking like that or I’ll get a serious problem! Well... sorry for so much detailed TMI, you know that this shit always happens when you tell me to stop overthinking and encourage me to spill everything that comes to my mind. Now you got every filthy detail you’ve asked for, you’re welcome.”, you joke sarcastically and facepalm yourself. You can’t believe how incredibly blunt and shameless you just threw your latest sex fantasy in every fucking detail at your poor best friend.
Usually you’re more than shy to talk about such things, in your understanding the magic for your shameless mouth towards your best friend has to reside in the deep thrust you have in him and simply the knowledge that your relationship is platonic. It’s not like that you couldn’t trust your boyfriends wholeheartedly, god no! You know, that they would never kinkshame you for anything,
it’s just... after sharing those thoughts it would result something out of it. You don’t want that they think you’re a weirdo or that they only do specific things because they know it would turn you on.
The other one just snorts in amusement when you voice this slight helpless apology, they can imagine the significant blush which has settled down on your cheeks.
“Hey buddy, don’t apologize for that. There is nothing to apologizing for, I am way too curious for my own good as well and I need to make sure that you’re happy in your relationship, especially when it comes to the point if they are able to fulfill your sexual desires. I need to know that, believe me. Okay, there’s one thing... I knew you were submissive, my dude. But I didn’t expect that you’d be such a masochistic hoe and that you’d have such a thing for degradation, Jesus! Nevermind, more important: did you talked with them about that fantasy? Would they be down for this idea and would they like to be more in charge? Please do not tell me that you’re too shy to talk with them about it, not again! I tell you this every goddamn time, communication is key!”, your best friend says to you in a serious tone.
Here you go again, getting scolded by your friend all over again. He is right, you know that... y’all already talked about ‘how to deal with certain kinks some of them or you have but the others aren’t into and how to not make them feel bad or insecure about it’ several times, you tend to overthink everything you have ever said to them all over again. You are always so flustered when seven pairs of eyes are looking at you, waiting for an answer. You are tall, even taller than Namjoon, but under their curious stares you feel always so small, fiddling with your fingers around like a little schoolboy. You love that about them, putting you into such a submissive place just with their aura and charisma and giving you the feeling as if they overtower you physically too.
“I can absolutely agree with Y/BF/N, communication is key. Why didn’t you told us those nasty fantasies you have in your cute head up here, right away? Too shy again? Do we really need to call your best friend the next time to get some hints to your secret kinks, Babyboy?”, Taehyung rasps into your earshell and wraps his arms around you. He chuckles slightly as you squeak high-pitched in surprise.
An equal surprised yelp of your best friend comes out of the speaker of your phone which takes Yoongi out of your hand and excuse you with the apology that ‘they need to have an important talk with you now and that you have to hang up unfortunately’.
The display of your phone turns dark and Yoongi puts it on the surface of the kitchen island before he flashes you a dirty smile. That you’re mortified that they caught you spilling all those filthy fantasies to your best friend is the understatement of the century. Never and you mean never did you hoped so bad that the floor opens up and swallows you whole, saving you from this embarrassing misery. But Yoongi give you much time to drown in shame, coming up to you and connect your lips to a rough kiss.
“God, I love it when our so sweet and shy Baby has such nasty and indecent fantasies in his head... why don’t you tell us these ideas in every single filthy detail once again? I think we could turn the information into some very good use, big boy~”, whispers the smaller one with blown-out eyes against your lips.
“...or would you prefer that we call you a needy cumslut, hm? The things I’ve heard give me the assumption that you want to get fucked stupid and pumped full with cum as if you are our personal playtoy?”, growls Jungkook and grabs himself a handful of your right asscheek, kneading it with a firm grip in his big palm.
“Come on, big boy, admit that you want exactly the things Jungkook just said... I can feel how fucking hard you just got from his words... already so hard and swollen against my palm even though we barely touched you. You’re truly such a pathetic, needy slut... I bet you’d already cum in your pants if we just tease you enough... Am I right?”, chuckles Namjoon in his deep, arousal soaked timbre against your neck, nibbling at the sensitive spot of your Adam’s apple.
“...what about we change our location to the bedroom and talk about the things you’ve said to Y/BF/N? Maybe we could try some of your newest kinks out? Would you like the thought of us watching you from the couch while you prepare your needy asshole for us? Showing us how you stuff you clenching rim with a girthy dildo? Wearing a cockring so you couldn’t cum without our permission? Prepping yourself all messy, whining for our finger, tongues and dicks in your ass like the greedy slut you are? Yeah, you’d love that thought.”, Seokjin teases you mercilessly, rolling your sensitive balls in his palm, just how you like it. “Y-Yes, Daddies... I’d love to be a greedy cumslut for you... please turn me into one!”, you wisper.
@cys-mental-escapades; @bangtanloverboys; @btsxmalereaders
#kpop bts#kpop bts ot7#bts ot7#bts smut#bts imagines#bts jung hoseok#bts x reader#kpop smut#bts scenarios#kpop x male reader#bts x male reader#jeon jungkook#jungkook smut#bts x tall reader#jimin x male reader#namjoon x reader#tall sub reader#dom! bts#sub! reader#requested#by tipsydipsydo
447 notes
·
View notes
Text
BnHA Chapter 308: VIBE: CHECKED
Previously on BnHA: Lots and lots of Shindou idk what else to tell you.
Today on BnHA: Tired Nomad Deku rescues Shindou from Muscular, and us from Shindou. Muscular is all “OH BOY I SURE CAN’T WAIT TO FIGHT DEKU AGAIN AFTER HE TOTALLY KICKED MY ASS THE LAST TIME!! I’M SURE THIS TIME WILL GO DIFFERENTLY SEEING AS HE’S HAD ALMOST AN ENTIRE YEAR’S WORTH OF ADDITIONAL TRAINING, AND ALSO HAS SIX FOURQUIRKS NOW, IN ADDITION TO THE CONFIDENCE THAT COMES WITH HAVING EIGHT OTHER PEOPLE’S SOULS CHILLING OUT INSIDE HIM OFFERING MORAL SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGEMENT.” Deku is all, “[kicks Muscular’s ass effortlessly].” Muscular is all, “[gets his ass totally kicked].” I for one am very satisfied with this, and with respect to all, I would like to hereby declare this post a discourse-free zone. I’m just happy to see my son out here making good use of his FOURQUIRKS, and more importantly beating Muscular in less than seventeen pages so we can all go on with our lives lol.
damn Deku since when were you allowed to look this cool
from this perspective and with the smoke, cape, backpack, and mask more or less obscuring his actual profile, he looks less like a sixteen-year-old boy and more like a grownass man
OH SNAP
we got a glimpse of this in the cleaned-up scan of 307, but seeing both of his eyes looking so distinctively All Might-esque here is... whoa. I mean we know that his face still looks pretty normal underneath the mask and he doesn’t actually have the black sclera, but still, this is an awesome look. mini-Might
lol Muscular
you and me both. I mean no offense, but yeah
so Deku is just standing there silently
typical Deku. tight-lipped and expressionless. mum’s the word. quiet as a mouse. silent as a grave
okay no but seriously this is so weird and creepy though you guys. Deku please say something or else I’m just gonna mindlessly say whatever stupid things come into my head in an effort to make things less awkward
so Muscular is all “I should probably make a cool speech about revenge but Horikoshi couldn’t think of anything good so I’m just going to stand here clenching my fist real slowly”
“I’m not here to go on a monologue” he says, as he monologues about not monologuing
okay you guys I confess I have only read through/watched the Deku VS Muscular fight once because the arm-breaking is just way too uncomfortable for me to revisit. and so as a result, I have completely forgotten Whatever The Deal Is with Muscular’s eye lmao so let me go look it up real quick
okay so it’s a prosthetic, obviously, and he changes it out according to his mood. that part does sound familiar. I just can’t remember which eye is supposed to indicate which mood. don’t tell me I actually have to go back and reread this shit
lol I’m skimming through chapter 75 now and remembering/realizing that I hardly paid any attention to this the first time around because as soon as I found out the villains were after Kacchan my brain was like “TIME TO FOCUS ON THIS AND ONLY THIS NOW AND FOREVER” and yeah. ah memories
anyway so he started out with the flower-looking eye, and then later on he was all
which begs the question, how on earth could I have ever forgotten the most ridiculous panel I’ve ever read lmao
anyway, but so after all of that, I'm only just now realizing that this isn't one of his previous eye prosthetics in the current chapter; this is an ACTUAL FUCKING ROCK that he's just randomly shoved into his eye socket fkdsjlk
so basically (1) I did all of that painstaking research for nothing, five whole minutes of my life wasted THANKS A LOT, and (2) what, and I have never meant this more emphatically, THE FUCK
anyway so now he's leaping at the building that Deku is standing on top of. but he’s not aiming anywhere near Deku though, wtf
(ETA: HAHA YOU BROKE ALL YOUR MUSCLES YOU LOSER.)
...huh
lmao okay then. I hope those annoying citizens in the building next door are watching this go down and rethinking their life choices
dlkdkljk
just keep standing there pressed right up against the window, why don’t you. “WHAT’S GOING ON THIS SUPER CLOSE COLLAPSING BUILDING IS BLOCKING OUR VIEW.” well, folks, we’ve long since known there’s a critical shortage of hero and villain brain cells, but what we’re learning now is that civilian brain cells are also in short supply
OH THANK GOD DEKU IS FINALLY TALKING THAT WAS ACTUALLY UNSETTLING AS FUCK
SO HE’S STILL OUR GOOD, POLITE, WORRIED, CONSIDERATE DEKU UNDERNEATH THAT COOL AND MYSTERIOUS VENEER. for real, thank fuck, because I swear to god if he suddenly started acting like the Dekus in all of the vigilante AUs my interest in this series would have dropped something like 50% lol. just because he dropped out of school and ran away from home and is currently dressed like the physical manifestation of a Linkin Park playlist doesn’t mean he’s not still the WORLD’S BIGGEST DORK okay
I MEAN, THIS RIGHT HERE. THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT. HE’S APOLOGIZING FOR THE DELAY
PLEASE FIND THE ATTACHED SHINDOU YOU REQUESTED. BEST REGARDS!!!
OH MY GOD WHY IS HE SUCH A BADASS
something about making bold, confident statements while obscured in smoke?? idk but damn it fucking works
ffjkkl
more importantly, should you tell him you actually need your copy of Shindou in excel format and not pdf?? on the one hand you don’t want to sound ungrateful, but on the other hand what are you even supposed to do with this
this chapter so far consists of like 50% smoke, but on the other hand Deku VS Kacchan 2 had a lot of cinematic smoke too so who am I to complain
OMG IS IT HIS ARMS
IDK DID YOU?! TELL ME YOUR SECRETS. PLEASE, AT SOME POINT THIS FIGHT HAS GOT TO ACTUALLY ADVANCE THE PLOT
OHHHHHHH
IT’S EN’S QUIRK!! OH MY GOD OKAY THAT’S ACTUALLY AWESOME
I CAN HEAR THE SOUND OF DISCOURSE RUMBLING IN THE BACKGROUND BUT I DON’T CARE LOL. WON’T CATCH ME EVER SAYING NO TO ANOTHER SIXQUIRK. GO AHEAD, BRING THEM ON, I WANT TO SEE THEM ALL but take it easy though Deku. don’t want to give yourself lung cancer or anything
also it’s good to see that in a very real sense he’s not fighting alone. the Vestiges really did mean it when they said they could appear more easily now. this is on a whole other level
so is this whole next page still En talking, or someone else? because whoever it is sure is chatty
okay, several things
pretty sure it is En, because he keeps saying “I suppose.” for someone who never said two words until one page ago, this guy sure never shuts up. we can’t all follow Muscular’s lead I suppose. oh my god now I’m doing it too
really like the suggestion of Deku using the SIXQUIRKS like tools in an arsenal, because that’s what he’s good at! it’s almost like he’s been training for this his entire life. “you value quirks too much” LOOK HE JUST THINKS THEY’RE COOL OKAY IS THAT A CRIME
where the fuck did all this rope come from
not gonna ask what the fuck that thing is sticking out from the back of his utility belt. Horikoshi will surely explain this
is that a fucking jetpack. I’m sorry Deku were six fucking quirks not enough for you. you can fucking float??? but JUST TO BE SAFE, LET’S STRAP A PAIR OF ROCKETS TO OUR SHOULDERS IDK
-- or wait, is this all supposed to be like a visual representation of En’s metaphor?? OH MY GOD AM I JUST STUPID LOL, DON’T ANSWER THAT. NEVER MIND. NEW LIST!!
rope = blackwhip
jetpack = float
radio = danger sense
and so I’m guessing that this ridiculously phallic thing is supposed to be a flare or something?? and that = the new quirk, smokescreen. well that was a fucking ride lmao we now return you to our regularly scheduled chapter
so now Deku is floating to his heart’s content and thinking that he’ll just sneak up on Muscular and vibe check his ass or whatever
WOOOOOOOO DANGER SENSE YESSSS I LOVE THIS FOR HIM
okay guys, I'm gonna press pause here for a sec to make a serious note, because I am loving the shit out of this, but tbh I'm having trouble enjoying it as much as I want to because I keep getting anxious thinking about the discourse. I know that a lot of the fandom has very strong opinions on Deku's character development one way or the other, and I want to respect that. but I also really have no spoons to debate this topic at all beyond what I’ve already weighed in on. so if it’s all the same to everyone, I plan on staying out of this discussion, at least this week
anyway! that said, YEAH BOI GET HIS ASS
VIBE: CHECKED. CURB: STOMPED. HOTEL: TRIVAGO
-- OF COURSE HE’S STILL FUCKING FINE LOL HE CRASHES INTO BUILDINGS FOR FUN IDK WHAT I WAS EXPECTING
dammit Muscular. how many fucking quirks does it take to beat you?! the annoying thing is that even with all of his cool new powers, Deku is still something of a mismatch against him. anyway r.i.p. to all these poor buildings
OOOOOHHHHH
you guys have no idea how intrigued I am at the prospect of watching Deku try to play both good cop and bad cop here lmao
anyway so Muscular says he doesn’t know, go figure
“I’m not here to make small talk or anything” he says as he small talks about not small talking
OH MY GOD DEKU
are you really gonna talk no jutsu all of these villains from now on?? that last battle really did have a profound impact on you, huh! interesting
you guys he’s really doing it omg
Deku this guy tried to murder a five-year-old literally just for fun. I mean more power to you, but holy shit you’re really gonna try to defeat Muscular with anger management therapy huh
I MEAN
WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THAT RESPONSE COMING dlkjslkjk
FUCK’S SAKE DEKU, I KNOW YOU MEAN WELL BUT THEY CAN’T ALL HAVE TRAGIC PASTS KIDDO
but. I have to admit, I do still like that he tried. probably knew just as well as we did what the end result was going to be, but still. he made the effort in good faith and I respect that
uh oh
why do I get the feeling Muscular just got a whole lot deader
oh my god oh my god he’s doing the “powering up” stance ffff don’t fucking tell me you can still use your fucking arms here, Deku
BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY WHAT’S THIS??
okay so basically he’s saying that whatever it was he sensed in Tomura, he doesn’t sense from Muscular. which, yeah, that sounds exactly right. good judge of character here lol
AHHHHAHAHA YESS
WHOOPS, GET FUCKED I GUESS
WOOOOHOOOOOOOO
lmao so apparently this is the belated result of Shindou’s attack from chapter 307?? I’ll be damned. good for you Shindou!! I always liked you buddy. please just take my word on that and don’t fact check that statement
okay lol the one tiny bit of discourse I will allow is that it’s bullshit that he just did that with his right arm. like, I’ll fully acknowledge that. that makes no fucking sense, and I demand an explanation from the Great Plot Hole Filler himself. he’s never let us down before when it comes to continuity so I’m trusting him not to suddenly start now
that said, we love to see a rematch against a boring guy settled quickly and decisively within the span of a single chapter. THANK YOU
I like that Deku implies that his power is being a smart nerd who battles villains using the power of ANALYTICS. he basically didn’t do anything except restrain Muscular and wait for Shindou’s attack to take effect while halfheartedly checking to see if he regretted any of that murder and stuff
(ETA: and almost forgot to mention, he made excellent use of all four of his active SIXQUIRKS. it’s like the chapter title said; this is basically him fighting all-out, and it’s a sight to see.)
also, as cool as the mask was, this just feels right. like, we had our fun, now let us see his face, yes good
anyway, I think this was a good start towards establishing What’s Up With Deku Right Now! so if it’s all the same to Horikoshi, I would next like to take some time to explore Why’s Up With Deku. that, and What’s Up With Everyone Else, Especially Kacchan. por favor
#bnha 308#midoriya izuku#muscular (bnha)#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#makeste reads bnha
463 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm an adult now take my advice
(or don't i'm not your dad)
Idk how old my followers are overall but i want to make this post in case any of you are actually teens... I am Officially 20 now. I am no longer a teenager so here are some things I learned as a poor teenager that helped me as a poor adult. Some are witchy, some are just about life, most are food related. Buckle up this will get pretty long.
Write as much down as you can bc puberty can really fuck with your memory.
Staying up late because you simply can't sleep is not something to be worried about unless you want to change that. It's pretty much all your natural body clock.
Get a big folder. Like a massive accordion folder and put all your personal documents in, birth/adoption certificates, bank statements, prescription receipts, diplomas, etc. So if you're ever in a dangerous situation at home you can make your escape a lot easier.
Now is a good time to learn new things that aren't school related. Practice cooking your favourite meals, learn how to properly clean a bathroom, if cleaning is overwhelming there are methods online that can help with that. Like playing a spot the difference game.
NO, tarot is not a closed practice, tarot is a tool for everyone and NO, tarot decks do not have to be gifted to you, you can buy one for yourself. I don't even know where that came from but it's complete bs.
Save the little gift baggies you get when you buy jewellery and use them as spell bags.
Stay away from any woman who calls her vag a yoni. it's weird.
You may want to be seen as smart and mature because it's better than being treated like a kid but you are still a kid. Your safety matters more than how mature and responsible you are. An older person should NOT be talking to you in a romantic/flirtatious setting and if they say it's because you're mature for your age or they can't wait until you're legal fucking bully the living shit out of them then block them and warn your friends. that attitude is creepy as hell bc they want someone they have power over. Same with any friends that brag about their partner being 15/16/17 when they're 18. BULLY THEM THEY'RE GROSS AND THEY DESERVE IT.
If you're in a country with the NHS USE IT NOW WHILE IT'S FREE. The first 6-8 weeks of therapy is free from the NHS. Eye tests and dentist check ups and medication are free untill you're 19 GET THEM NOW.
You can make your own oat milk by blending up oats and water. You don't need to cook with oil, there's enough of it in processed food and fresh veg have enough water in them to cook straight in a pan. You don't need the seasoning packet in ramen you can make your own. Tamari sauce has less sodium than soy sauce. Food always tastes better when it's in season. Try to find space for two food wastes, one for processed/cooked food one for raw. The raw food can be composted and given back to the earth
Best healthiest dinner option I can think of is steamed veggies. Here's my recipe: Heat up a pan on high, pour a bit of water in and then your veggies, stir frequently until all the water is gone. Turn heat down to low. Coat with something like balsamic vinegar and add any seasoning you like. Cover and steam for 10 minutes ish and you're good. You can serve that with a grain or some noodles.
Locally sourced meat and fish is WAY better for the environment than supermarket because there's less preservatives and they're more resourceful with their products.
A standard pie dough is one of the easiest things you can make and the trick is in the amount. Half the flour equals the fat, half the fat equals the sugar. so if you have 200g of flour you need 100g of fat and 50g of sugar. Just throw them in a bowl and mix together and add some cold water to bind together into a dough. It should be solid and little sticky, if it's crumbling add more water, if it's not holding it's shape add more flour. then just fridge it for a few hours to set and you're good.
You made your own soup/stew/pot thingy and you got left overs for the next day? Put it back on the cooker and bring to the boil on high, once it's bubbling take the heat down to low and simmer for 10 minutes (keep stirring if it keeps bubbling). This will help kill any bacteria that developed overnight that might make you sick.
Foraging is good but wear gloves, don't take all from one place and don't eat anything you pick until it's been thoroughly washed. Don't be afraid to go hog wild on things like blackberries, dandelions, or nettles. those things are an invasive species.
Deer are bigger than you think they are.
Air drying takes longer but it will help your clothes last. You can also hand wash with a bowl of hot water and about a teaspoon of washing up powder. Air drying also goes for your hair too.
Stock up on your favourite scented candles any size is ok and use them for spells and rituals.
You got a ghost in your house? Leave them be they're usually just passing through.
If you can't focus on work without music but it needs to be specifically wordless and needs to be easy to fill your brain so you don't focus on every noise other people make listen to animal crossing music that shit got me through two years worth of academic reading.
Bus is late or can't find your keys? Stop looking and start complaining. They'll turn up as soon as you give up.
Piercings are a medical procedure and are safer when they're done with a needle because they're hollow, so they're carving out the skin and cartilage instead of just pushing jewellery through like a gun does. Go to a tattoo parlour that also does piercings bc they're likely to be a lot stricter with rules and customer care.
Life is gonna kick us all in the but so we gotta be there to help eachother out however we can. It definitely feels like it's everyone for themselves but it doesn't have to be.
#I'm 20#please help#advice#life advice#witchy advice#witch#witchblr#witchcraft#pagan witch#pagan#hellenic pagan#paganism#hellenic witch#kitchen witchcraft#kitchen witch
372 notes
·
View notes
Text
title : cigarettes and parfaits [3] pairing : older!nanami kento x younger!reader [13 year age gap, ft toji fushiguro] Genre: romance, fluff, slice of life, josei, angst, comedy, strangers to lovers au
Summary: you’re pretty sure you’d remember marrying a man 13 years older than you, right?
Warnings: alcohol, smoking, mild smut, y/n making stupid decisions, everyones a human-au so yeh non-canon stuff and everyone’s happy (periODT) i keep forgeting to add that this isnt beta-rread..all of my stories arent so yeah shshs Notes: ah, i feel like this story will be lengthen more than 8-10 chapters shshshs i wanted to add a little spice anyways thanks for all the comments uwu ily all!
Masterlist || taglist || [prev ; next] [updates; every saturday!]
“Y/N-chan!!!”
You cringe in embarrassment as soon as you hear that awfully familiar and cheerful voice, you could barely remember this man and the events that transpired the night before but here he was, acting like your new best friend. You weren’t even sure if you wanted to go here but you needed clarity. Surely you didn’t just legally marry a man at an Izakaya out of all places last night?
“Oh, you actually did marry him.” Gojo Satoru proclaims as soon as you take a seat across him, he gestures around his face, “I could tell by your whole, ‘I hope this guy is messing with me’ face. You have it, signed and sealed. Even got the cute matchy rings that I had one of my assistants delivered.”
You pale at the thought of his assistant coming in with a silver ring. Wasn’t he sober? How could he not have stopped you two from doing something as reckless and stupid as this? Weren’t older men supposed to be more responsible than this?
“Why the hell didn’t you stop us?” You groaned, burying your face in your hands, embarrassment painted all over your features.
“I was just as drunk as you two.” He confessed, scratching his head, “probably even more drunk but anyways back to the topic in hand, I only remembered it when the same assistant came in and congratulated me about it. It’s good I had your number on my phone before you two bailed.”
“So you don’t really remember?”
“Bits and pieces.” Gojo grinned, this guy was a maniac, how did the serious man you met just this morning have friends like this? You probably wouldn’t even last long, “I did call Nanami-”
He’s cut off by the rough sound of someone pulling a chair out, you immediately jump on your seat when you realize it’s Nanami Kento, the guy from this morning. The man you had recklessly married!
“This better be some prank you’re pulling, Satoru.” His voice was anything but kind that you almost wanted to hide behind Gojo’s back.
“Hey, hey.” Gojo raises his hands, “Don’t look at me. I didn’t force you into anything and stop scaring your poor little partner.”
Nanami snaps his gaze towards you and you notice how his eyes soften just a bit when he sees your red ears and your eyes looking away from him, “You better call Geto and fucking fix this, I refuse to bother this young-”
“It’s fine.” You cut him off, still shy and red, “It’s...fine...I just…Please don’t think I’m burdened by it. It was technically my fault for even agreeing immediately.”
Nanami clenches his jaw and turns away, “Nevertheless. L/N-san’s young. I hope to not be such an uncouth man like you.” he retorts, voice sharp as he eyes the white-haired businessman up and down. Gojo, seemingly used to it, rolls his eyes behind his dark shades.
“Maybe you guys should try it out.”
The blonde man looks like he’s about to smite the white-haired man out of existence yet Satoru remains oblivious to his friend’s gaze, “Don’t ya think so? It will take a while for those divorce papers to settle in so why don’t you two go out and get to know each other? Who knows…” he sing-songs the last part and Nanami is so close to chunking his briefcase towards the tall businessman, not even caring
“Ah, he’s not exactly wrong, Nanami-san.” you try to calm him down, placing a small hand on his broad shoulder.
“Don’t tell me you’re actually listening to this idiot’s idea.” Nanami replied, gaze narrowing.
“Not really but you have some problems I can help you out on and I have problems that you can help me out on...Of course, the last say is on you...”
“Told you I actually had a brain.” Satoru piped in.
“Shut up, Satoru.” he quips, then turns to you, “I’m thirteen years older than you, L/N-san. I have two high school kids that could pass off as your siblings, and-”
“Well, I technically did marry you.”
“You were drunk.”
“Doesn’t exactly really excuse it.” You laugh nervously, “The whole divorce process usually lasts up to a few months, some even takes a whole year. I could help you out with the boys and I can use you to ward my family off from moving back home.”
Nanami is quiet for a moment, actually thinking about it. Weighing the pros and the cons, not only would you be able to help him out but you’d also be able to get Gojo and blind-dating out of his back.
There really wasn’t anything he could loose, really.
“Or you two might fall in love.” Satoru teases, making Nanami throw him another side-eye, as if saying ‘I dare you to say another word.’
It’s a Thursday today and Sukuna absolutely loathed Thursdays apparently because it reminded him of Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays. They all were far from the weekend Everyone seems to be happier than usual though. Maybe it was because you were there teaching some basic shit at the board or something.
“...and if we transfer this here and change the positive to a negative, you’ll end up having five as your answer.” You smile, placing your chalk down, “Does anyone have any questions?”
Echoes of no’s resonated throughout the room.
“Alright then, let’s end the lesson here so you guys can have an early lunch. I don’t think an assignment is in order since many of you were able to get a perfect score in the activity awhile ago.” You winked. A couple of whoops resonated throughout the whole class right after.
As the kids shuffle out of the room of the class, Sukuna remains behind. The ojisan had cooked them something delicious this morning and he wanted to eat it in peace without that pesky Nobara grabbing a share from his bento and Yuuji’s annoying babbles about horror movies with his best friend Junpei (the only one who was really bearable was Megumi, really)
“Sukuna-kun?” you called out, snapping him out of his small trance, “Are you alright?”
He notices a glint of worry in your eyes, he had to admit since his transfer here last Monday, you were the least annoying teacher in the academy the blue-haired professor in Japanese literature was absolute shit since he loved to tease him a lot and that bald-headed teacher in science who looked a lot like Mike Wazowski was an annoying twerp who loved dawdling in him and Yuuji’s business and you were kind of good at your job. Not only did his idiot of a brother stop coming to him and their ojisan for help in math but he could actually do the worksheets right and get an actual decent grade at it.
“Yeah.” he roughly replies.
“That’s good.” You smiled, he watched as you bind their worksheets together and clip them in utmost delicacy, “You should head to the cafeteria now, I heard they’re serving milk bread today.”
Without saying anything more, you left the room, leaving him there in the silence.
Well, the Christmas tree idiot was right.
You kind of had a motherly aura on you and it didn’t even look forced.
No wonder, everyone in this room was whipped for you despite your subject being a pain in the ass.
“You look like an idiot.” You mumbled as you slapped Mahito’s hand away in annoyance, your workmate wiggling his eyebrows like the little shit he is.
You completely forgot you did have someone like Gojo Satoru in your life and it was one of your co-workers, Mahito, a Japanese literature teacher who was too nosy for his own good.
“You’ve got a ring on your ring finger and a mailman comes in and gives you an invite for Zen’in Toji’s fortieth birthday.” he whistles, “Even Jogo-sensei gossiped by the water cooler awhile ago, saying that you had eloped with the man. Not that I’m judging you or anything...”
You choke on your saliva, clearly thrown off by the backhanded comment. That darn bald-headed fool that looked like the green eyed monster from the DreamWorks cartoon, he sure needed to lay off the gossip and actually focus on his job as the head of the science department, “You’re not denying it.” Mahito stated, narrowing his eyes in suspicion, “Why aren’t you denying it?”
“I’m not dating Megumi-kun’s father.” You grumbled, finishing up your paperwork, “That man is off limits.”
“Right,” he drawls on sarcastically, “...because you have a strict rule against dating hot older men with money.”
“I also teach his kids and his cousin…” You deadpan.
“We don’t even have a rule against that.” He retorts, rolling his eyes, “If we did, Hanami-sensei would’ve been fired a long time ago.”
“You’re an asshole.”
“And you’re so secretive. If it isn’t Toji Zen’in, who’d ask you out?”
“Hey, I do have a man.” You huffed, “and he’s very kind and considerate...”
The image of the tall and lean man sleeping next to you slowly wormed its way back from your memory and you feel your cheeks start to flush. Good god, what were you? twelve? How embarrassing.
You needed to get that image off of your head, it wasn’t right.
It was all temporary, anyways and he doesn’t even see you in that sort of way-
“Yes, I’m Sukuna and Yuuji Itadori’s guardian…” a very familiar stoic voice could be heard from the nearby table, cutting your thoughts short. Wait, were you so head over heels for the man that you started imagining him here? Yuuji and Sukuna’s guardian? Wait a minute.
All color drained from your face as you snap your head behind you to find the same man you were imagining.
Oh no.
Oh no, indeed.
There stood Nanami Kento in all his glory; crisp suit, stoic face, and eyes laced with mild worry.
“...L/N-sensei is Sukuna-kun’s adviser, by the way. It would be best to discuss this with them.” Akari somberly informed the man, turning to your direction. You don’t miss the shift of expressions when he sees you standing there.
Your mouth parts and you know you look like gawking fish trapped in a small aquarium.
“Akari-sensei’s looking at you with the new hot daddy.” Mahito mumbles next to you, eyeing him up and down, “Definitely wonder where all these old men come from these days.”
You were only half-listening to your co-worker because your head was all over the place, just what were the odds that he was the guardian of the new transferee’s? Just how awkward would everything be? Why did it even have to be at this school out of all places?
Never ending questions pop out of your head as you approached them, “Good afternoon, Nanami-san.” Your smile comes out very stiff and awkward while you hold your hand out for him to shake, clearly there was no memo on how you were suppose to act around your sort-of-fake-husband-whos-kids-you-actually-taught.
Nanami reverts back to his stoic expression as he clears his throat, “Yes, good afternoon to you too, L/N-sensei.” he greets, maintaining a straight-laced tone.
“Akari-sensei says that Sukuna has been quite...rude...in class…” you try to rack your brains up to describe his kid.
“Your son literally pointed out that the history lesson I was teaching was fake and that I should study again so he could get his tuition’s worth.” Akari looks clearly perplexed and ready to throttle the boy if it was legal. You had to admit, Sukuna went overboard with that insult.
You knew how passionate Nitta was about her job and what Sukuna just said to her was like a big ‘fuck you, you suck.’ to her.
“I’ll be sure to talk to him about this,” he sighs, bowing down, “I’d like to ask for forgiveness for that, the boy is a good and smart student-”
“Nanami-san, the school not only cares about grades but character as well.” Akari Nitta sighed, cutting him off, “I’ll let this slide once, if he does that again, it goes on the record.”
You internally bit your cheek, still trying to process everything that was going on.
“I understand. Thank you for that.”
“I’ll walk him out, sensei.” You immediately say soon after, wanting to have some alone time with him, “Let’s go, Nanami-san.”
You walk right next to him silently, some students peerlessly glancing at the tall blonde next to you but you were too immersed in thought to notice the stares, “Nanami-san?” you ask softly as soon as you reach the exit.
Nanami Kento looks at you, his eyes still laced with a bit of worry, “It’s okay.” you silently comforted him, “Just talk to him calmly.”
“That’s not the problem.” he sighed, “I just didn’t expect that the person I married would be the boy’s teacher.”
You sweat drop, “Aren’t you worried about talking to Sukuna? I mean, he literally just disrespected a teacher and you said that he and you weren’t in good-”
“It’s easier to talk to him about that rather than…” he paused, showing his ring, “this.”
You blinked.
Seemed like Nanami knew what to say about the little attitude problem his son had, “So you must be used to this?” you asked, “Him disrespecting the teacher?”
You notice the shift of expressions on his face, you had only known this man for a few days so far but he was starting to get easier to read. His eyes shed more emotion than his face, no wonder he likes wearing those funny sunglasses a lot.
“It’s something I’ve scolded him over a couple of times,” he gruffed, trying to dance around the subject, it seemed like he had such a soft spot to the point where he had a problem with disciplining them, “At times I believe it’s just because he’s way too smart for his age. The boy has read history books for fun when he was a kid and solved quadratic equations to prove that he’s better than me when he was ten.”
“It still doesn’t give him the free pass to say things like that to a teacher”
“I know,” he acknowledged, “I’ll be sure to give him a better scolding-”
“No, you see. This is why he thinks he can get away with it. He isn’t afraid of you. You’ll only probably tell him that you can’t do that.” you frown, crossing your arms, “You do know that not all sensei’s are as nice as Akari-sensei and he could get in trouble for that even more in the future, right?”
Silence lingered between you two for a moment and suddenly you realize that you must’ve said something way off the rails.
“I..” you turn red, embarrassed by the sudden outburst, “That was too much, wasn’t it?”
You look at him directly in the eye, the worry-filled ones are now replaced with a softer gaze. God, he really needed to stop looking at you like a kid. It would only make this set-up more awkward!
“No,” he mumbles, “It...It wasn't too much…”
“Oh.” you cleared your throat, flustered and looking away from his face, “Well, okay then goodbye then Nanami-sa-”
You needed to get out of this conversation quick.
“Kento.”
Your gaze snaps directly towards him, clearly taken aback by the correction.
“What?”
“We’re technically married now, right?” he softly corrected, “Call me Kento.”
“Oh,” You uttered again, this time softly. You looked down on your shoes, it seemed like the floor looked really interesting now, “Then bye-bye, Kento.”
“Bye Y/N.”
He leaves you standing there, cursing yourself because of your erratic heartbeat at the way he says your name in that voice. First name basis? okay, totally normal for sort-of lovers, right?
taglist [if crossed out, i can’t tag u ; - ;]
; @coldbookworm ; @frankenstein852 ; @neavil ; @shephard17895 @kristineyoshaii ; @airybnb ; @okachansenpai ; @amortentiaxo ; @rinvtaro ; @franko-pop ; @kozutenshi ; @kaldoesthings ; @moonlitdabi ; @chococroissant ; @bleepop ; @kaldoesthings ; @moonlitdabi ; @chococroissant ; @pettybroccoli ; @nixxona ; @kiyoo-omi ; @omibaby ; @bokkunto ; @peccobagnaia ; @sangwoahbigbussy ;
@Kurok1717 ; @hcn421 ; @shinhiromi ; @airybnb ; @katshuya ; @atsuhaya
#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk imagines#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento x you#cigarettes and parfaits
480 notes
·
View notes
Text
Coach (1)
Fandom: Dylan O'Brien
Pairing: AU Dylan x Fem!Reader
Mini series summary: Being a newly single mom of two kids wasn't exactly easy. And love wasn't exactly part of your agenda. So, should you avoid lusting over your son's baseball coach? Absolutely. But with a man like Dylan, could you really resist? Probably not.
Warnings: nothing major yet, small sexual innuendo, mentions of cheating and divorce
WC: 1.9k
A/N: a yes, to those who have been following me for a while may recognize this title, it's my old Dylan AU fic. Yes I decided to continue it. Updates will come periodically, because I write spontaneously and I cant guarantee quick updates. But I do promise I wont wait a whole year to update. And since I did some slight updates in the first 2 parts I decided to archive the old ones and repost them again. So yeah, if you've read them before great, give it another read, my writing is much better now I promise and if you're new welcome, I hope you like this mini series.
(You are here, part 2, part 3)
Dylan stood by the side of the large field, near the home plate, occasionally yelling out suggestions and pointing out mistakes to the young boys.
"Ezra! You have to watch the ball! C'mon! I know you can do better!" He called out to the blonde boy standing on the home plate with a bat in hand. Dylan then turned his attention to the dark haired boy with the baseball mitt and ball in hand.
"Roman! What's going on, buddy? You gotta focus, alright? You gotta work on that throw!" Dylan called out to the young boy, who half nodded and sighed heavily in response.
Not long after, Dylan signaled the young boys scattered throughout the large field to gather around. He spoke some encouraging words to the boys before allowing them to disperse and gather their equipment which meant practice was over.
Your son, however, stayed behind for a minute. There was an inaudible conversation happening between Dylan and your ten year-old, Roman. You watched from the bleachers as your son made some tired gestures at his coach followed by a small pat on the back from Dylan. You couldn't help but follow them with your eyes as they made their way to the bleachers, your eyes lingering a bit too long on the brown haired coach. An action that wasn't taken lightly by the female sitting beside you.
"You're staring at him again." Your best friend, Ezra's mother, Eliza -or just Liz, commented.
"I'm not." You muttered out quickly, tearing your eyes away from the handsome coach, your mouth hanging open for a couple of seconds. "I wasn't staring." You stated matter of factly and shrugged as you looked down at the small six year-old sitting on your lap, making sure she wasn't paying attention to the conversation.
"Really? The drool coming from your mouth says otherwise." Liz playfully ran her finger across your chin, pretending to wipe away at it. You slightly glared at her, an eye roll going her way.
"I'm not drooling. I wasn't even staring." You tried to defend yourself, making a small sassy gesture to her.
"Hey, I don't blame you. If I wasn't married," she took a pause as she eyed Dylan as he removed his baseball hat to run a hand through his messy chocolate locks, you couldn't help but stare as well. "I'd jump on his bones any day."
"Hey, there's young ears present." You said quietly to Liz as not to disturb the young girl in your arms.
Despite your attempt not to, you couldn't help but allow your eyes to fall once again on the field, following the handsome male that was the topic of your conversation. You had to hide the infatuated sigh that left your lips at the sight of your son's coach running around the field, talking to the kids and picking up equipment.
"Well he is handsome, I'll give him that.." You admitted quietly, "and he's really good with the kids."
Your friend smirked slightly at your words and wiggled her eyebrows at you.
"I bet that's not the only thing he's really good at." She eyed you suggestively and slightly nudged at you with her shoulder, "You should find out what other things he's good at."
Your mouth instantly fell open and your eyes widened at the insinuation.
"Eliza! Oh, my god. Don't say that." You slightly shook your head to brush off the embarrassment and hid your face on your hands to cover the crimson on your skin.
"Mommy you're warm!" Athena, your six year-old giggled as she grabbed your warm, sweaty hands. Even your daughter noticed the nervousness that crept up on you when it came to Dylan, even if it was just the topic of him. Truth was, you had been shamelessly crushing on your son's baseball coach ever since he joined the team a couple of months ago.
Get it together, you should not be crushing on your son's baseball coach.
"I know baby, it's just hot out here." You tried to brush it off, but the knowing smirk on Liz's face wasn't exactly helping. "Thena, why don't you go get Roman and Ezra? They're over there." You pointed to the field where Roman and Ezra were talking —or more like just Ezra was, to the other kids on the team. She quickly nodded and bolted off the bleachers, somehow not tripping over the steps as she went down. You sighed heavily the moment the young girl was far enough and slightly turned your head in Liz's direction.
"You should totally ask him out." She said out of nowhere with a shrug and a smirk on her face. Your eyes widened for the hundredth time, and you instantly shook your head frantically, the idea alone giving you a headache.
"Ask Dylan out? No way. I.. No.. That's just.. No." Your cheeks slightly heat up at the preposition. But you quickly turned it down with a vigorous shake of your head, not even giving the idea a minute to sink into your brain. "No, he's Roman's coach. It's just wrong."
"Why? I mean, you're single, and as far as I know, he's very single. Soo," she dragged the 'o' as she wiggled her eyebrows and she nudged your shoulder, pushing you over a little in a high school girl manner, "Why not get ready to mingle with the hot coach?"
"First of all, I'm technically not single, not yet." You groaned with an eyeroll. As much as you and your husband —or ex-husband or whatever were no longer living together, the divorce process had been unnecessarily long and dreadful. So as much as you wanted to be legally single, you were still married to that piece of shit.
"And second of all, if I were to date someone, which is a big if, I can't date Roman's coach out of all people. He already has enough as it is. It'll just confuse him and probably upset him more." You sighed heavily as you looked over to the side of the field, where all the boys were having a conversation about elementary boys' things. And there you saw your son, trying, and ultimately failing at joining said conversations. And with little Athena tugging at his side, all he got from the other kids was laughing and rejection.
Seeing your son's sad and hurt expression when the other boys laughed at him or even told him to go away broke your heart. You wanted him to be happy again. You wanted him to be the energetic and loving kid he was before your waste of a husband left. Ever since Ryan —your waste of a husband left, Roman hasn't been the same.
For the past six or so months, he has been distant and seemingly unhappy. All he ever did was lock himself up in his room and play video games. He barely ever interacted with you and Athena anymore. He barely interacted with anyone, period. Once Ryan left, it was up to you to support your kids financially. Of course, their father still paid child support, but he sure as hell didn't pay your bills or everything you needed to spend on your children. Which meant you had to take him out of the fancy school he went to in order to still pay the monthly expenses of your home. And he just didn't quite fit in at school, especially now.
So, you hoped that him joining the baseball team would change that, that it would help him open up again and that it would help him make new friends. But so far, it's worked just the opposite.
"So, I'm making dinner tonight. Do you want to come over with the kids and get drunk? Luke will watch over the kids." Liz spoke, interrupting your train of thought.
"That sounds a-mazing," you spoke in a song-like tune, a sigh of contentment leaving your lips. "But I can't. I told Roman I'd take him to that Italian place he likes."
"Tomorrow then. I'll have that Chardonnay you love so much waiting for you." She winked at you as you both stood up, ready to greet your children.
"Thank God for your alcohol stash." You joked, flinging your arms up in praise.
You both laughed and smiled in your children's direction, but your smile dropped as your kids and Ezra approached you. Ezra was holding Athena's hand, while Roman walked behind them, with a certain heaviness on his step and an annoyed look on his face. And Athena had a small pout on her face.
"Hey, what's wrong?"
"Rome doesn't want to hold my hand!" Athena whined with a pout of her lower lip. She released Ezra's hand and exchanged it for your own. Ezra going to his own mom. While Roman simply stood there, with a hand stuffed into his pockets and the other messing with the strap of his bag, his gaze stuck on the ground.
"Roman, baby," you sighed softly, not wanting to give the poor kid a hard time. You understood he didn't exactly fit in, no matter how much he wanted to, and that upset him. You didn't want to add up to that. "Your sister just wanted you to hold her hand."
"She was embarrassing me.. I'm already the kid without a dad, I don't need to be the kid with an annoying baby sister." He muttered, his gaze not once leaving the ground.
His words were harsh, but lacked emotion. And it broke your heart. But as much as you wanted to tell him that it wasn't true, that he did have a dad, you'd be lying if you did. Ryan was already absent in your children's lives before the split, but at the same time he was there, and Roman felt as if he was. But now, his father really wasn't there, at all. And there was nothing you could do about it.
You sighed softly, gesturing your free hand out for him, "Roman, come here," a heavy sigh left the young boy's lips as he took a few steps closer, standing in front of you with his head hanging low and his eyes stuck to the ground. You used your hand to hold the side of his face, his eyes meeting with your own. "Baby, Thena just wanted to show you that she loves you. She didn't mean to embarrass you, right Thena?" You turned your attention to the small girl that hid behind your arm, her eyes glistening with tears.
The small girl sniffled and shook her head, "No.. I'm sorry Rome.. I won't do it ever again, I-I promise."
You exchanged looks between your children, your eyes finally landing on Roman as you waited for a response. You raised an eyebrow at him, your eyes speaking a silent 'and' to the boy. He eventually signed, almost too heavily, and nodded.
"It's okay, I guess.. I don't really mind all that much." He half smiled, shrugging slightly.
Athena's expression quickly lightened, the small girl detached herself from your hand and hugged her older brother. And as much as he hated to admit it, he didn't mind the affection. He returned the hug and smiled, for a moment at least.
After a second or two, Roman slightly pushed Athena off him, signaling that that had been enough affection for a day. You breathed out softly, turning to look at Liz, who gave you a sympathetic smile in response.
"Well my loves, off we go. Say goodbye to Auntie Liz and Ezra." Both your children did as you said. Athena hugging both of them, and Roman simply waving at them. Good enough.
And at last, you gave Liz a quick but tight hug, "I'll call you tomorrow." You said shortly before you grabbed a hold of your daughter's hand and your son's bag, and eventually parted ways.
Today was gonna be a long day.
《Here's an edited version of part 1. As always I hope y'all enjoyed it. I'm trying to get back into writing after a long year, hopefully this will help me get back on track. Let me know your thoughts. And let me know if you'd like to be added to my dylan/coach taglist which I do have》
#dylanobrien#dylan o brien#dylan obrien imagine#dylan obrien smut#dylan obrien fanfic#dylan obrien x reader#dylan obrien series#coach#coach series
301 notes
·
View notes
Note
Uhh may I make a request for Ouran High School Host club? Just a headcanon for how the host would react to meeting someone how is a big time animal lover. (Like they pretty much live there life like the Irwin family)
A/N: I was thinking about how I’d write this and my brain just went ‘they lost their shit at the sight of instant coffee’, so uhh I hope this is to your liking. I tried to get as much animal variety as I could even though I didn’t really touch on marine animals that much)
Warnings: Like 2 swear words (pinky promise), slight drug mention(literally so small you might not even notice it), spoilers (minor) for Tamaki’s mom
Word Count: 1292
General
So this is under the assumption that like the Irwin family, Reader (or their family) has access to a wide variety of animals (from domestic to wild)
All of them respect the passion you have for animals
While they all might have various feelings on animals (see below), they can’t deny that you truly do love animals
Your family’s sanctuary focuses on healing injured animals and rehabilitating them so they can go back into the wild
Of course, your family has many sanctuaries around the world and some focus more on conservation while others focus on research
The one closest to the school focuses mainly on conservation and as such, is massive and functions like a zoo ( in terms of having people come in and see the animals)
Anyways, the host club is very supportive and often helps you with organizing donation events
Oftentimes, your family will collaborate with them and allow them to rent out parts of the conservation center for events
Aside from the conservation center though, your family owns a few ranches and farms (not for commercial profit, although yall have sold a few animals)
The farms and ranches are relatively small scale but they make great venues for the host club and a great place for getaways/vacations
Your main house is where you keep most of your favorite animals
You have an aviary attached to your room (connected through a hallway that connects to your room) as well as a butterfly garden in the backyard
You also have an aquarium tank, 2 dogs, 1 cat, 1 snake, and a hamster that visits on weekends
You had to be stopped at some point
Tamaki
Tamaki loves animals
He was never really around animals growing up because of how sensitive his mom’s immune system is
So when he sees that you’re an animal person, he’s super excited
Like this man is already planning playdates between Antoinette and your pets/animals
You love his enthusiasm, just one small problem
It’s a little too much enthusiasm
Yes the animals are well trained, but how would you react if a 6′0 giant with long arms came barreling towards you screaming showing its teeth?
So yeah, Tamaki tends to set the animals off/ make them nervous
Because of that he’s only allowed around certain animals (ex. certain monkeys, certain birds, etc.)
He’s happy that he’s allowed around some animals but he still pouts every time there’s an animal he can’t be around
Kyoya
This man
Kyoya does not fuck with animals. Like at all
The first time the host club went to your house, you were holding a hamster and Kyoya moved back about 10 feet
When you asked him what was wrong, he just said “Rats are carriers of many of the most deadly diseases”
You told him that you were holding a hamster and that while hamsters were rodents, the worst he’d get sick with would be salmonella
He doesn’t believe you, but yeah sure whatever
For Kyoya it just gets worse after that
The first time he sees you holding a tarantula, he loses his shit
“Look how cute it is Kyoya!”
“Get that vermin away from me!”
I could go on and on about how much Kyoya doesn’t like animals (even domestic ones like cats and dogs)
He hates going to your house, but he often has to go there in order to set up events for the host club, what a nightmare
While he doesn’t care for animals, the business side of his brain can’t help but think of a marketing opportunity
Mori
Is one of two hosts that are going to be chill about it
He doesn’t feel one way or the other about animals and thinks it’s cool that you’re interested in them
Only thing is; if Honey’s afraid of your animals, he will have to ask you to leave he won’t hesitate to step in “harm’s” way
Surprisingly though, that actually makes him the chillest with your animals
Much to your surprise (and Tamaki’s sorrow), the animals love him
He just has this calming vibe that sets the animals at ease
It also helps that he smells nice and is super tall
For most of them it’s like sitting on a giant tree
He’s not really complaining though, it makes his job of protecting Honey that much easier
Honey
Oh boy
He might actually be the worst with animals
It’s not even an issue of being unable to defend against aggressive animals (Honey could probably solo a grizzly bear)
It’s just he has a very strict “cute” animal policy that changes wildly depending on his mood, the temperature, the angle of the wind, the humidity, etc.
He’s very bougie when it comes to what animals he will tolerate and what animals he will refuse to see
The general safe choices are rabbits (especially bunnies), kittens, cows, tits (the bird species), and baby animals of almost every domestic mammal species)
Him and the hamster you see on weekends are best friends
Also, you have had issues with him trying to feed the animals sweets
Explaining to Honey why rabbits can’t have carrot cake was not an easy conversation, nor was it one you thought you’d need to have
Because of how specific he is about what animals he finds cute, you likened him to a crocodile (because of how sensitive they are to temp. changes in egg)
Needless to say...he was not pleased
Hikaru
So him and Kaoru don’t really care for animals but they try to relate to you in somewhat similar but different ways
Hikaru is always trying to get you to do/recreate stunts with the animals
“Hey Y/N, we should-”
“No Hikaru”
“You don’t even know what I was gonna say”
“No you cannot use the dolphins for hoop tricks, no you cannot teach the gorillas how to roll blunts, no you cannot “bribe” the koalas with eucalyptus...”
Yeah he’s a menace
It’s mostly all in good fun though
Hikaru doesn’t really care for animals but he does find it hilarious that the animals like him more than Tamaki
Also, completely random but Hikaru definitely send you those “horse-sized duck vs duck sized horses” memes
Kaoru
Kaoru also tries to use animals on the internet to relate to you, but he’s a lot tamer than Kaoru
Kaoru is kind of like the parent who learns one thing you like and is like “that’s your entire personality right?”
Poor bby is trying his best
Anyways, whereas Hikaru tries to recreate memes, Kaoru sends you them
They range in quality and format; from top text, bottom text to “is this a ____”
At least once a day, Kaoru will send you a meme or picture of an animal with a caption that says ‘this reminded me of u :)’
It’s so endearing that you can’t even be mad about it
Haruhi
Is the only other one who’s kind of cool about the whole thing
She’s really only been around animals in the park or the occasional pet store
Growing up, she didn’t really have the time (or money) to go to the zoo, that and the fact that Ranka doesn’t care at all for animals (she thinks they’re weird and gross)
When Tamaki hears this, he works himself up into a frenzy, torn that his “daughter” has never been to a zoo (even tho he hasn’t either)
But she likes the fact that you’re so passionate about animals
At heart, she’s a scholar, so she loves learning new things she didn’t know before, she could spend all day just listening to you talk about animals
Not to mention the fact that you’re basically giving her a free informational tour every time you see an animal
#ohshc imagines#ohshc x reader#ohshc headcanons#tamaki suoh#kyoya ootori#hikaru hitachiin#kaoru hitachiin#honey senpai#mori senpai#haruhi fujioka
214 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Life of A Mobster's Wife || Arvin Russell
Russell || Main || Taglist
Mob!Arvin x Reader (Modern AU) Requested? Nah 9,818 words (pls send feedback bc this is the longest mob fic i've done and i want to know if it's alright or if i should just leave the mob au alone sksk) W: asshole!arvin, doesn't follow canon, curse words, killing, cheating, so many fucked up shit
* * * *
Being married to a mobster wasn’t easy. Everything has to be kept under wraps whilst having a lavish lifestyle. But when you’re young, you’re naive and you think that everything will work out and you’ll live happily ever after like some Disney fairytale. Everyone seems to forget that Disney princess stories were adapted from the Brothers Grimm and Hans Christian Andersen. You didn’t know that your life would take such a dark turn the moment you met Arvin. The second he smiled at you, you were a goner. You were hooked on him; addicted. Everything should’ve been a red flag and the people around you told you that something about him seemed off. That should have alarmed you, but you took what they said personally. One by one, they all left you and only Arvin was left by your side. That should have been a sign too.
You told yourself that you’d be happy and you were. You were together for six months and then you got married. Now, six years later, you have a son who just turned six and a husband who doesn’t even sleep in the same bed as you anymore. You didn’t know what went wrong, but everything suddenly changed.
Arvin made sure you and your son were away from him, so he bought a big apartment in the Upper East Side for both of you. Arvin would stay there sometimes, but most of the time, he was working; killing, kidnapping people for ransom, selling weapons, selling drugs, etc. He wanted you away from those especially, Hayden; your son.
You wanted for things to change because Hayden hardly ever sees Arvin and they don’t have a connection. You also wanted another baby and you felt like Arvin was too busy for that. Wanting to focus on your husband, you decided it was best to hire a nanny to attend to your son’s needs. However, it was difficult to look for a nanny when you’re keeping everything a secret. You were lucky enough to hire a personal doctor.
Amelia Avery Hudson is a trauma surgeon, but you hired her as your personal doctor to treat your husband and his men if they have wounds. The other doctors you asked turned down your offer. When you asked Amelia, she immediately agreed. Amelia didn’t really have a choice. She applied because she needed to pay her student loans back. Plus, she needed to keep a roof over her head and rent was expensive in New York. She’s a fresh graduate and she had trouble finding a job that fitted her career path. Your offer was perfect and she saw it just in time. She hoped that no one took the job yet and luck was on her side because she’s been your personal doctor ever since.
Amelia’s only there during the evening from 7PM until 12 midnight. Having signed an NDA, she had no one to tell about the things she’s seen. She knew that if she even tried, Arvin would somehow find out and kill her with no mercy. She didn’t want to risk it.
Amelia’s feisty, but she was nice. The poor girl had a terrible life. She kept moving from one foster home to another when she was younger. Because of that, she grew up strong. She’s a remarkable woman and you were glad that you met her. You weren’t close, but you had a good relationship with her. Sometimes, she’d entertain Hayden which meant a lot to you.
You put up a poster for the nanny position and a few applicants were interested. You looked through their resumes and interviewed them one by one. Out of everyone, only one person stood out. Her name was Celeste.
“Tell me more about yourself, Celeste.” You smiled at her. You didn’t feel comfortable interviewing people in your apartment, so you always made sure the interviewees met you in your favorite restaurant in the upper east side.
“I-I’m Celeste Regina Dela Cruz. Eighteen years old. Um-”
“I know those things.” You laughed. “It’s on your resume. Just loosen up and tell me about yourself. Would it make you more comfortable if I went first?”
Celeste nodded, clearly intimidated. You smiled and said, “I’m Y/N Russell and I never finished college because I got married. I dropped out and left everything behind to be with my husband. I was also pregnant when we got married, so we never really had a decent alone time. I volunteer a lot for my son’s school and I make sure that my son has everything. Right now, he’s on a waiting list for multiple colleges.”
“Wait, how old is he?”
“He’s 6 years old.” You said before taking a sip of water. “It’s nice to be prepared, though. At least we know that he has a slot when the time comes.”
Celeste nodded and you motioned for her to start talking about herself. She widened her eyes and opened her mouth to talk, but the waiter arrived with your food. You both thanked the waiter and began eating.
“Please continue, Celeste.” You said as you took a bite of your food.
“I’m Celeste and I’m from the Philippines.” She said. “No wonder your accent is thick.” You pointed out and nodded for her to continue.
“I was able to come here because my tita- ay sorry- aunt; my aunt brought me here a year ago. I graduated high school, but I can’t go to college yet because my aunt is sick and she’s the one who pays for my schooling. College is very expensive and we can’t afford it anymore because of my aunt’s medicines.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” You frowned. You felt bad, truly. Here you were, a college dropout but you’re living a luxurious lifestyle. Of course, that’s all thanks to Arvin. You were just lucky that you married a rich man. But as you sat in front of Celeste, you felt the need to do something nice for her. After all, in your mind, she was hired already.
“Oh, it’s okay.” Celeste smiled. “We’re getting by. My friend told me to apply to you and that’s why I’m here.”
“I understand.” You said as you folded your hands on the table. “When can you start?”
“Ha? What?” Celeste furrowed her eyebrows.
“You’re hired, Celeste.” You chuckled. “When can you start?”
“Um… as soon as possible!” Celeste exclaimed and you nodded.
“Pack your things and I’ll send for Pemberley to pick you up at your home address. I’d just like to confirm that your address on your resume is still your home, yes?” You asked and she nodded quickly.
“Okay. I’ll give it to Pemberley. He’ll pick you up at 9:30AM sharp.” You grinned. You both shook hands and continued eating.
The next day, you welcomed Celeste in your apartment and gave her a tour. She looked amazed at everything and it was entertaining to see. You told her that she wasn’t allowed in the master bedroom unless told and she wasn’t allowed in Arvin’s office.
You looked at your watch and gasped, “Oh, my! I’m late for a meeting. Make yourself at home and don’t forget to pick up Hayden from pre-school at 2:15. I have a note for you in your room. Please read it.” You quickly grabbed your bag and coat and left.
Celeste stood there and made her way to her room. After roaming around for 2 minutes, she finally saw her room and read the note.
Hello, Celeste! These are the rules:
Hayden can’t eat seafood. He is allergic.
No sugar-y or chocolate-y drinks before bed. Only one glass of milk with no sugar.
Sandwiches are not allowed to be eaten in his room because of crumbs.
If Hayden has no classes, you may take him to the park or the museum. As long as there are only a few people.
Stay away from crowded places. I beg.
Give Hayden a bath before bed.
Call me only when severe emergencies happen.
Your laundry schedule is the same as Hayden’s; TTh.
Always bring a small first aid kit in your bag and make sure you have a full container of hand sanitizer AT ALL TIMES.
Keep an eye on Hayden. He is your main priority.
P.S. Have fun! Eat whatever you want and if you need anything, please give Jose your own list before he goes grocery shopping.
Celeste taped the note on the wall next to her bed and started unpacking her things. She looked at her watch and realized that it was time to pick up Hayden from school. She quickly grabbed her small bag and ran to the front door.
Hayden’s school was just around the corner, so it was easy for Celeste to pick him up. There were many nannies waiting for kids to be picked up and Celeste was a bit overwhelmed that her job was actually starting. She never had training or anything.
A few more minutes of waiting, the door opened and out came a plethora of running and screaming children. During the apartment tour you gave her from hours before, she remembered you showing her a family picture that was recently taken. With that in mind, Celeste was able to remember what Hayden looked like.
Celeste looked around and saw a young boy by the steps, looking around. “Hayden!” Celeste shouted, causing the boy to look at her. Celeste walked over and said, “Hayden Russell?”
The boy nodded. She smiled, “I’m your new nanny. My name is Celeste.”
Using his manners, Hayden shook Celeste’s hand. Celeste grinned and took Hayden’s bag from him. She held his hand and they walked home. The walk home was short and quiet, but it was comfortable. When they walked into the fancy apartment building and into the elevator, Hayden spoke up.
“Can I call you ‘Celie’, instead? Like a super agent secret name? It’ll be cool.” Hayden said, causing Celeste to smile at him.
“Sure!” Celeste said.
When they arrived in the apartment unit, you were already home. Hayden ran up to you and you bent down to pick him up and hug him.
“How was school?” You asked as you kissed his forehead.
“It was fun! We learned so many things and we had arts and crafts and we-”
“That’s great, sweetie!” You smiled before putting him down. “You can play sudoku in the living room.”
Hayden made a face, “But I hate sudoku.”
“Yes, but it’ll help you stimulate your brain. Think of it as a mental exercise.” You grinned before softly nudging him to the living room where his sudoku book was waiting for him on the coffee table. Hayden begrudgingly walked to the living room and you turned to Celeste, “We need to talk.”
You turned around and walked to your husband’s office. He wasn’t there anyway and you had the freedom to speak business there. “Follow me.” You said without looking behind you. Celeste was scared shitless. She did the sign of the cross and prayed on her way to Arvin’s office.
“Aba Ginoong Maria, napupuno ka ng grasya, Ang Panginoong Diyos ay sumasaiyo. Bukod kang pinagpala sa babaeng lahat at pinagpala rin naman ang anak mong si Hesus. Santa Maria, Ina ng Diyos, ipanalangin mo kaming makasalanan ngayon at kung kami’y mamamatay. Amen. (Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with you. Blessed are you amongst women and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners. Now and at the hour of our death. Amen.)” Celeste muttered under her breath. You opened the door to Arvin’s office and was immediately met with the darkness due to the closed curtains and lights that were not switched on. The only light present was the sun’s light peeping through the spaces between the curtains. You walked in and Celeste followed suit and closed the door behind her.
You sat on Arvin’s chair and read the papers that you previously laid there on the table. “Please, sit.” You motioned for her to sit in front of you and she did.
“I told you that I had a meeting earlier. I met with important people and we went through your records.” You told Celeste. Celeste knew that she didn’t do anything wrong and that she had a clean record, but that didn’t stop her from worrying.
Was she in trouble for declining her father’s call from the Philippines? Or perhaps she was in trouble for cursing her cousin. She wasn’t sure.
“And I’d like to applaud you for having remarkable and outstanding grades. Straight A’s?! I didn’t know you were smart. You didn’t put in your resume that you were a valedictorian.” You smiled sweetly. You were impressed.
“I didn’t put it because I don’t want to be hired because I’m a valedictorian. I want to be hired because you want me for the job.” Celeste said and you nodded in understanding.
“That’s very humble of you.” You smiled. “Anyway, I submitted your records to multiple colleges and they immediately got back to me.”
You opened the drawer and took out at least ten envelopes from well known universities. You handed the envelopes to her and motioned for her to read each one.
Yale University
Stanford University
Harvard University
New York University
Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Cornell University
Brown University
University of California, Los Angeles
University of Pennsylvania
Columbia University
“I want you to look through those and read each one. You also have the freedom to check each university’s website to see what they look and what they offer and if what they’re offering is what you want, tell me.” You told her.
“That’s very nice of you, ma’am.” Celeste said, clearly overwhelmed with what you just told her. “I can’t afford it. It’s too- mahal. Ang mahal po kasi.(expensive. It’s too expensive.)”
You stared at her as she spoke to you in a foreign language. Not just any foreign language, her native language. She quickly realized what she said and said, “The tuition fee is too expensive.”
“You know, for a valedictorian, you’re kind of slow.” You joked. “Sweetie, you don’t have to worry about it because we’ll pay for your tuition fee.”
She gasped and squealed, “Thank you!”. She jumped out of her chair, did a small dance, and went up to hug you which took you by surprise. You smiled brightly and patted her arm as a sign of affection. It felt nice to do something good for once even though your husband does a lot of bad things. Sometimes you think that all the good things you’ve done are payback for all the bad things Arvin has done.
Celeste quickly let go of you and went back to her seat. She cleared her throat and apologized and you waved your hand and said that it was nothing. You debated with yourself on whether you should tell Celeste about your husband’s mob or not. You decided against it and told yourself that you’ll tell her when she asks.
“I’ll enroll you in any university you pick and I’ll make an arrangement that your tasks during the day until you pick up Hayden, are done face to face. Meaning, you’ll physically attend classes at the university of choice. Of course, that only applies here in New York.” You explained.
“Should you choose a university that isn't in New York, you'll be enrolled in online classes." You told her and she nodded.
"Yes, ma'am. Thank you so much!" Celeste said sincerely which made you smile.
"You're welcome. Study well and you can join Hayden in the living room now. I'm sure he's done with his sudoku. He should be reading his French book now." You said as you looked at the time on your phone before standing up. Celeste stood up too and held the letters close to her chest.
"I think my husband is coming home tonight, so we'll eat dinner at his favorite restaurant. Get ready at 6PM. Knowing him, he'll be late." You said and left the office with Celeste following behind. She closed the door and quickly went to the living room to check out the letters.
You went straight to your shared bedroom with Arvin and quickly went to your walk in closet that Arvin built for you. You scanned through the rack for dresses and scanned through multiple shoes to match your dress. You knew it was still 3:30PM, but you liked being prepared.
Your phone rang and you immediately answered it without looking to see who it was. “Hello?” You answered while grabbing a cerulean colored cocktail dress from the rack and holding it against you and checking it in front of a mirror.
“Y/N, honey, it’s me.” Arvin said. His voice was raspy and there’s no doubt that it’s because of his smoking habit. He’s trying to lessen it because according to him, he didn’t want to have cancer and he didn’t want his life cut short. Despite that, he still smoked… less than before. He was really trying. Key word: trying.
“You’re smoking right now, huh?” You asked, already tired of his shit. You loved him so much, but you didn’t have the energy of being his wife anymore. Probably because he doesn’t treat you like one.
“Mind your own business, woman!” Arvin hissed. You knew he didn’t mean it, but it still kind of hurt. “I’m just worried about you and you said that you’ll lessen the smoking.” You said calmly. You didn’t want to fight with him; it’s useless.
“I am. This is my third stick today and it’s late in the afternoon.” Arvin said, pushing his hair back. “Anyway, I called to tell you that I’ll be coming home tonight and I’m sleeping there.”
“Wow, it’s been a while. How long will you stay here?” You asked, hiding your excitement.
“I’m taking 7 days off. Starting tomorrow.” Arvin said. He gathered his things, got up from his seat and walked out of his office. “I’m leaving The Hamptons as we speak.”
“Alright. I’ll be waiting for you.” You said.
“What’re you up to right now, darling?” He asked, exiting the mansion and went straight to the limo. The door was being held open by Jeeves, the chauffeur. Arvin got inside and Jeeves closed the door before quickly getting in and driving.
“I’m picking a dress for tonight. I made reservations because you’re coming home.” You told him and he smiled.
“That’s sweet of you, darling. I’ll text you when I’m almost home, okay?” Arvin said.
“Oh, ok-”
Arvin hung up the phone and you sighed. You put the phone on top of the small chair before picking another dress.
Hours later, you received a text from Arvin saying that he was already around the corner and that he’ll just wait for you in the limo. You quickly finished getting ready and walked out of your room wearing a steel blue dress that you knew Arvin loved. You wore heels that matched it and wore dangling earrings that you wore on your wedding anniversary.
Celeste was wearing a polka-dotted blouse and a skirt that ran until her knees. She was wearing an old pair of Mary Jane’s and her hair was neatly combed. She had a hairpin to clip it back and on her shoulder, was a ‘nanny bag’ that you gave her. Hayden was wearing black pants and a button up that you bought last year. He was wearing black sneakers to match his outfit.
All three of you left the apartment and quickly made your way to the elevator. The elevator ride was short and before you knew it, you were in the lobby. Seeing the limo from afar, Hayden ran towards it causing Celeste to run after him. You walked quickly knowing that Arvin hated waiting.
Hayden opened the limo’s door and went inside to give his father a hug. “I missed you, daddy!” Hayden said with a smile and kissed his cheek. Arvin hugged back tightly and kissed the top of his head.
Arvin loved Hayden. The boy was like a copy of him and Hayden was Arvin’s most prized possession. He was the reason that Arvin worked hard and he was the reason that Arvin is sane. Although he doesn’t mind having more kids, Hayden was more than enough for him and he was content with that.
“I missed you too, buddy!” Arvin smiled widely and sat Hayden on his lap. Hayden started talking about what happened while he was away and Arvin was listening. Celeste went inside the limo and sat across from Arvin causing him to glance at Celeste up and down with furrowed eyebrows. You quickly got in the limo next to Arvin and closed the door. Jeeves asked if everyone was ready and you said yes. Jeeves started driving and he turned the music down a bit.
This caught your attention and you internally groaned. You looked at Arvin and quietly said, “Really? You’re playing this music again?”
Not leaving his gaze on Celeste, he said, “My limo, my music.”
You rolled your eyes and looked out the window. Arvin’s music played through the speakers and you decided to help yourself with a glass of champagne just to get through the night.
“Are you washed? (Are you washed?) In the blood (In the blood) In the soul cleansing blood of the lamb?”
The music filled the quiet limo, Hayden stopped talking a minute ago, finding the scenery more amusing than his own stories. Arvin nudged you and whispered, “Who the hell is the chick?”
“Hayden’s new nanny.” You whispered. “I hired her yesterday. She’s from the Philippines and-”
“You know what? I’ll interview her during dinner.” Arvin cut you off. “I already interviewed her and she’s qualified.” You hissed.
“Really? Doesn’t seem like it.” Arvin said. “I’ll do the talking. You already got to know her and it’s my turn now. I want the best for my son.”
“She’s very intelligent, you know.”
“I don’t give a shit, Y/N.”
“Daddy said a no-no word.” Hayden said, his eyes not leaving the window. “Also, can I get a puppy? Jason’s daddy bought him a new puppy and I want one too.”
“Tomorrow.” Arvin answered. “I’ll pick you up after school and we’ll buy a puppy.”
“Arvin, babe, he’s not responsible enough for a puppy yet.” You told him, but Arvin shrugged you off. He didn’t care what you thought. If his son wants a puppy, he’s getting a puppy.
You arrived at the restaurant and immediately got out of the car. You went down first and Hayden followed after. Arvin glanced at Celeste and motioned for her to get out first and she did. Arvin was last and he closed the door behind him. “Buy yourself some food, Jeeves.” Arvin said as he handed $200 to Jeeves through the driver’s side. “Pick us up when I text you. Don’t be too far, alright?”
“Yes, sir.” Jeeves said before driving off.
You all waited for Arvin and all four of you entered the fancy restaurant. The hostess led you to your table that had a small card that said: ‘Reserved for Mrs. Russell’ in cursive. All four of you sat down and the hostess provided menus for you, Arvin, and Celeste. A kids’ menu was handed to Hayden and he smiled and thanked the hostess. Holding a menu made Hayden feel like a real man. He wanted to be just like his father and that scared you because Hayden doesn’t know about Arvin’s job. Neither did Celeste and you felt sick to your stomach knowing that you brought two innocent people in danger. If things get worse, you’ll fire Celeste and let her go back to her family while you make sure that traces of her are gone. After all, if they find Celeste, she might get killed. Chances are, her family gets killed too. It’s all connected.
Anyway, all Hayden knew was that his father takes down bad guys. To him, Arvin’s a hero. But you knew better. Hayden will find out when he’s older. One day, he’ll understand that not all people who take down bad guys are heroes.
You all ordered and handed the hostess back the menus. Arvin took a sip of his water and cleared his throat before turning his attention to Celeste. “What’s your name, and where are you from?” Arvin asked.
Celeste stared at him in shock, “A-Are you talking to me, sir?”
“Who else would I be talking to? Of course, I’m talking to you.” He scoffed which made you slap his arm lightly. “Introduce yourself to me. We haven’t met and if my wife thinks you’re qualified for this job, it is also my right to see if you’re qualified as well.”
“U-Um, okay. My name is Celeste Regina Dela Cruz and I’m from the Philippines. My aunt brought me here last year. I only graduated high school and-”
“Alright. How did you find out about this job?” Arvin asked.
“My friend told me about it, so I applied.” Celeste said. A waiter came by and poured champagne on yours and Arvin’s glasses while he poured water on Celeste’s and Hayden’s.
Arvin nodded, “Alright. Were you a nanny before this?”
“No, sir.” Celeste answered.
“So, what makes you qualified for this job? Why are you here?” Arvin questioned.
“I’m here because… I want to work and I think that being a nanny is the only way.” Celeste answered and Arvin nodded before turning to you.
“Have you discussed her salary?” He asked and you shook your head. He nodded and turned to Celeste, “Will $100 a day be enough?”
“Yes, sir.” Celeste nodded furiously.
“Alright, then. $100, it is. I’ll give you extra if you’re good.” He said before taking out his phone and kept himself busy. You gave Celeste a tight lipped smile and did the same.
What Arvin said struck a nerve on you. You knew of his affairs and ladies, that’s why you never visited your mansion in The Hamptons. You knew there’d be a plethora of girls who are throwing themselves at your husband. You also knew that he wasn’t faithful and you knew that because he smelled like women’s perfume and sometimes he’d have a smudge of foundation on his white shirt. You stayed with him anyway.
“Thank you, sir.” Celeste said with a small smile. She turned her attention to Hayden and entertained him with stories from back home.
“How was work?” You asked Arvin and he shrugged.
“Nothing special. Rodriguez finally paid back what he owes, so that’s that. Also, dad visited me this morning. He said that he wanted to see Hayden. I told him I’ll think about it.” Arvin said with no emotion.
Arvin’s relationship with his dad, Willard, was rocky. It was no secret that Arvin preferred the company of his mom rather than his dad. Charlotte, Arvin’s mom, was the sweetest lady you’ve ever met. She helped you with your pregnancy and she’s the one who told Arvin to keep you away from the mob things. She didn’t want Hayden to grow up in such a bloody environment. Besides, it wasn’t safe. She’d occasionally visit you and Hayden when she’s not busy.
“How were things while I was gone?” Arvin asked.
“Same old. The only new thing was hiring Celeste.” You told him and he nodded. He moved closer to you and asked in a low voice, “Does she know?”
You shook your head and he nodded, “Good. It should be kept that way.”
“We’ll be paying for her college education.” You said quietly and Arvin’s head quickly turned to you as he glared daggers at you. You paid him no mind as you took a sip of your champagne. “We’ll talk later.” Arvin said sternly.
The waiter arrived with your orders and all four of you began eating in silence. Celeste was too awkward to start a conversation, Hayden didn’t know what to say, Arvin will talk to you later in his office, and you didn’t want to engage in a conversation nor start it.
After that, you ordered desserts. You initially didn’t plan to order any, but Hayden wanted the strawberry cake that he saw at the other table. Therefore, Arvin ordered four slices of that. As Arvin took bites of it, he chuckled which made you look at him through your peripheral vision.
“What’s so funny?” You asked, before eating the cake that was on your fork and chewing it. Arvin shook his head, “Nothing. I just remembered our wedding cake. It was similar to this.”
You smiled at the thought and nodded, “Yeah, they are similar.”
Your complicated marriage with Arvin made you stressed. You didn’t know how to act around him, but he was a great actor. He acted like he wasn’t cheating on you, he acted like he wanted the domesticated life, he acted like everything about his family was normal, and above all, he acted like he was still in love with you.
The truth is, Arvin isn’t in love with you anymore. But he loved you; he still does. He will never stop loving and caring about you. He just doesn’t get the same feelings as he used to. Before, one look at you gave him butterflies in his stomach and the world turned into slow motion. Now, he looks at you and he feels nothing. In his mind, you’re just his wife and the mother of his child. He didn’t know what to do anymore, but he knew he couldn’t leave you. Leaving you would ruin him because he knew you’d take Hayden away from him.
Being unfaithful wasn’t part of his plan, but it just happened. Then it kept happening with different girls and he hated himself every time. He knew that you knew. After all, he wasn’t discreet about it either. Both of you just pretend that nothing’s happening, it’s all swept under the rug and it’s killing you.
After dessert, Arvin texted Jeeves to pick you up as you called a waiter for your bill. After paying, Jeeves was already outside. Celeste got up from her seat and carried Hayden, who was falling asleep already. You and Arvin followed.
The ride home was shorter and quicker. When you arrived in the apartment, Celeste went straight to Hayden’s room with him fast asleep in her arms. Arvin cleared his throat which caught your attention. You looked at him and he nodded his head towards his office. He went there and you trailed behind him.
When he opened the door, he switched on the lights and went straight to his desk. You entered and closed the door. You sat in front of him and waited for him to talk.
“Since when were we paying for someone else’s education?” Arvin asked.
“Since now.” You answered boldly. He bit the inside of his cheek and nodded, “Why?”
“I’ve seen her records. She’s a valedictorian and she deserves to go to college. Her aunt can’t pay for it and I volunteered. It’s a little ‘thank you’ for taking care of Hayden. Taking care of a child isn’t easy.” You explained.
“That’s her job. Her little ‘thank you’ is her salary.” Arvin said with his thick accent.
“She deserves more than that.” You told him. “We have so much money, anyway. Paying for her college education won’t even cause a dent in our bank account. Besides, you told her that if she’s good, you’ll give her extra cash. Now, what do you mean by that?”
You and Arvin stared at each other in silence. The tension was thick. It was obvious that you both have problems that you refused to bring up.
“Let’s go to bed.” Arvin said after a minute. He stood up and you stood up too. Both of you left his office and he turned the lights off. He went straight to your shared bedroom and you went to Hayden’s bedroom. When you peeked inside, Hayden was already asleep and wearing his pajamas. You took off your shoes and walked to his bed. You laid down next to him and hugged him as tears streamed down your face.
Being Arvin’s wife wasn’t easy and it wasn’t like the fantasy you had initially thought. You wanted a happy family, but Arvin doesn’t even lay with you anymore. Your day was tiring and chaotic with a mix of high and low emotions. You knew that it would repeat the next day and you already dreaded it. For now, you’ll just cuddle your 6-year-old son and try to get some sleep.
The next few days consisted of doing your daily tasks. The only difference is, Arvin was home and he joined in various tasks. He accompanied Celeste in picking up Hayden at school and true to his word, Arvin bought Hayden a puppy.
Now, the puppy is part of your daily tasks too. Hayden named his puppy 'Jack' and he loved it. Part of his new daily life, Hayden always made sure that Jack was nearby whenever he did anything whether it be sudoku or reading his French picture books.
Arvin loved Jack too. He even swore to Jack that he'd come home often. You rolled your eyes at that, but chose not to say anything. While you thought that nothing in your marriage will surprise you, you thought wrong. After his 7 days off, Arvin came home every night solely because of Jack and Hayden.
'Perfect.' You thought. 'At least he's coming home every night.'
It was now Sunday which meant that Hayden had horseback riding lessons at the back of your mansion in The Hamptons. Celeste was watching over Hayden with her cheap sunglasses on. The skirt of her dress was slightly lifting up due to the wind. You offered your hat to her, but she declined. She said that she was used to the sun because of the weather in the Philippines.
You and Arvin were in his office looking over Celeste’s university of choice. You were making calls and Arvin was checking out the university’s website on his laptop. You were currently on hold and you grabbed Celeste’s acceptance letter from Arvin’s desk. The envelope was open and you sat down on Arvin’s desk as you took out the letter from the envelope and read it.
Cornell University
Celeste Regina Dela Cruz 2264 Oak Street Manhattan, New York 10021
Dear Celeste Regina:
Congratulations on your acceptance into the College of Engineering at Cornell University! We are very pleased to be welcoming you to this coming academic year.
Very soon, you will receive your official letter of acceptance from us in the mail. We are excited that you will be joining the Cornell community and know that you will make a very positive contribution to the university.
Best regards,
Amanda K. Bishop Associate Vice Provost for Enrollment Cornell University
ENROLL AND DEPOSIT ONLINE: Please retain the URL and PIN provided in the notification email you received, as well as the password you created to view this letter. You will need all three in order to log in again to complete the Enrollment Response Form and submit your enrollment deposit.
You finished reading and before you knew it, you weren’t on hold anymore. You began talking to the person in charge and Arvin glanced at you from time to time while scrolling through Cornell’s website.
“I think she’ll enjoy Cornell, darling.” Arvin said, exiting Cornell’s site and you glanced at him and gave him a thumbs up before turning your attention to the call again. After an hour, you end the call and turn to Arvin.
“They agreed to let her do online classes and occasionally attend classes physically.” You informed him and he nodded.
“Do you think Hayden will get into Cornell? It’s a nice university.” Arvin asked. “I don’t really care where he gets in. I’ll be proud regardless.”
You gave him a small smile and said, “That’s wonderful. Speaking of Hayden, his horseback riding lessons should be done by now. Let’s go.”
You left Arvin’s office and he quickly followed behind you. “Is there something wrong?” He asked and you shook your head, not saying anything.
Days went on that way. You talked to Arvin less and less and he was starting to catch on to that. He also noticed that you don’t sleep next to him anymore and that you always made sure that you weren’t home when he comes home from the mob business.
-
The party was in full swing and the children were having so much fun. Arvin wasn’t a fan of parties, but he decided that it would be nice to have other children around the apartment. Hayden’s friends and classmates played around and the nannies were all huddled in one corner as they watched the children. Some of them even played with Jack.
You were with the parents and you couldn’t find Arvin. It was time for Hayden to blow the candles and you wanted you and Arvin to be there beside him. You looked for him everywhere and you forgot to check his home office. ‘He’s most likely in there.’ You told yourself.
Without knocking, you walked in and gasped when you saw the sight in front of you. The back of Arvin’s chair was facing you, but you didn’t need the chair to fully face you to know what they’re doing. A young woman, in her early 20s, was sitting on Arvin’s lap and you could see her bouncing up and down. Arvin wasn’t even hiding the fact that he was enjoying it. You quickly left and closed the door.
You knew he was cheating on you, but seeing him in action made it so real. You told yourself that you weren’t going to cry, but the tears you held back were freely streaming down your face. You quickly wiped them away and Celeste saw you.
“Ma’am, are you okay?” She asked. She was worried about you. You faked a smile and nodded, “Yeah, I’m alright. I just can’t believe that Hayden is 7 already! Time flies by so fast.”
Celeste nodded and smiled, “Okay. Hayden wants to blow his cake now.”
“Okay. Tell him to get ready.” You told her and she nodded, quickly leaving you alone. You glanced at the door of Arvin’s office and debated on calling Arvin’s attention or not. You decided that you weren’t going to call for him. If he cared about the little family you made, he would have the decency to not cheat on you on your son’s birthday. With that in mind, you held your head high and walked to the kitchen where everyone was waiting. Hayden was sitting on the bar stool while his cake was placed in front of him, on top of the countertop.
You smiled brightly at him and stood next to him. You kissed his cheek and gave him a side hug. “Where’s daddy?” Hayden asked you, looking up at you with innocent eyes.
“He’s busy cheating on mommy, sweetheart.” You wanted to say so bad, but you held back. It wasn’t nice to bring personal problems to parties. Especially your 7-year-old son’s party.
“He’s answering an important call for work, buddy. He’ll catch up later.” You lied. Hayden frowned, but his mood changed when everyone started singing ‘Happy Birthday’ while some took pictures of you two. Celeste lit the candle that was shaped like the number 7. After the song, Hayden closed his eyes and made a wish before blowing his candle. Everyone clapped and you gave everyone a slice of cake.
When everyone was eating, Arvin finally walked out of his office with the young woman with him. He gave her $100 and whispered, “This is for not telling anyone and for spending time with me.” He winked at her and she blushed before quickly walking off to the kid she was watching.
Unbeknownst to them, Celeste saw the whole thing. She looked at you, Hayden, and Arvin and she looked torn. She wanted to tell you, but she was scared of Arvin. She thought that he was sketchy and she didn’t fully trust him. If she doesn't tell you, she’ll feel bad. So she quickly went to her room, called her sister and sat on her bed.
Toni, her sister, answered, “Oh, bakit ka napatawag? (Why did you call?)”
“May chika ako! Tangina, ‘di ko alam kung ano gagawin ko. (I have tea! Fuck, I don’t know what to do.)” Celeste said. She was panicking in her room and she truly didn’t know what to do.
“Ano ‘yon? (What is it?)” Toni asked.
“‘Di ako sigurado pero parang nambababae itong tatay ng alaga ko. Sabihin ko kaya sa asawa niya? (I’m not sure, but I think the dad of the kid I’m taking care of is cheating on his wife. What if I tell his wife?)” Celeste bit her nails nervously. Toni was quiet and said, “Ikaw bahala. Kung sa tingin mong kakainin ka ng konsensya mo, sabihin mo na. Kung kaya mong magkunwari na wala kang alam, edi ‘wag mo sabihin. (It’s up to you. If you think that your conscience will eat you alive, tell her. If you can pretend that you don’t know anything, then don’t say anything.)”
“Kung ikaw nasa pwesto ko, ano gagawin mo? (If you were in my place, what would you do?)”
“Wala. Kunwari wala akong alam. Saka ko na lang sasabihin pag tinanong ako. (Nothing. I’ll pretend that I don’t know anything. I’ll just tell her if she asks me.)” Toni answered.
“Sige. Chat nalang kita mamaya. Kailangan na ako sa labas. (Okay. I’ll chat with you later. I think they need me outside.)”
“Okay, bye!” Toni said before hanging up. Celeste took a deep breath and walked out of her room.
Some people were already leaving and Celeste immediately grabbed a big garbage bag to pick up the paper plates and paper cups that were left behind.
“Where have you been?” You asked Celeste sweetly. She jumped at the sound of your voice which was weird because she wasn’t jumpy.
“I-I went to my room to talk to my sister.” Celeste said. It was true, but she didn’t tell you why. You nodded and said, “Send her my regards.”
Celeste nodded and proceeded to clean up. You walked away and thanked your guests for coming to Hayden’s party. You’ve been avoiding Arvin for hours now and it was like he wanted to talk to you alone. You didn’t want to.
When everything was clean, it was already time for Hayden’s nighttime yoga routine. He quickly went to his room and started getting dressed in his yoga outfit. Celeste went to her room to grab her books, so that she could read while Hayden did his yoga. Jack went with them and Celeste was more than happy to know that the dog was joining them.
It was only you and Arvin in the living room. The tension was thick. You closed the door after the last guest left and Arvin started talking, “Why didn’t you call me when Hayden blew out his candle?”
“Was I supposed to?” You snapped and gave him a death glare which he seemed to return.
“Of course you were supposed to! I’m his dad and I should be there for him!”
“Why weren’t you present for most of the day, then? Where were you when I needed you? Where were you when I needed help with Hayden’s gifts? When I needed someone to give drinks to the adults, where were you? You weren’t around, Arvin. You were busy with God knows what!” You raised your voice.
“What are you saying?!” Arvin shouted.
“I’m saying that you’re not there for me and you haven’t been for a long fucking time!” You shouted back. This started a screaming match between the two of you. You didn’t even notice how loud you were shouting.
Hayden stopped doing yoga and looked at Celeste, “What’s going on?” Celeste looked at Hayden while listening closely. She sighed and told him, “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”
Celeste walked out of Hayden’s room not knowing that Hayden followed her out. She only realized that Hayden followed her when she heard Hayden shout, “Stop fighting!”
You and Arvin stopped to turn your heads to Hayden who was already crying at the sight of his angry parents. The sight of Hayden crying made you cry too. You walked towards him, but he ran away to hide in his room. He locked the door and Celeste was just standing there awkwardly.
You wiped away your tears and to your surprise, Celeste spoke up. “Ma’am, sir, um, please don’t fight anymore because Hayden will not like it. If you can’t stop fighting each other, do it for Hayden.” Celeste said softly as she looked at both of you.
“Hayden is a very nice kid and he’s very smart and he’s very obedient. He does everything you tell him to do even if he doesn’t like it because he knows that it will make you happy. He doesn’t deserve to have parents that are fighting all the time and he doesn’t deserve a family that has problems. If you have problems, just talk about it. Don’t yell.” Celeste told both of you. She was trying to be a peacemaker and both of you commended her for it. It wasn’t her job to be a peacemaker, but she’s being one right now.
“Sir, I saw you a while ago at the party with a girl and you gave her money. Being unfaithful is not nice. You should be faithful to your wife because she’s doing her best. If you don’t love her anymore, why are you here?” Celeste said. You knew she didn’t mean anything wrong, but Arvin took it the wrong way.
“Excuse me?” Arvin asked, offended. “I’m offended that you had to ask me why I’m here. I’m here because I live here. It’s my money, it’s my apartment, and everything here is from me! So don’t ask me why I’m-”
“She’s right, Arvin.” You said and turned to look at him. “I’m tired of all this fighting and all this pretending. From now on, I’ll sleep in Hayden’s room. If you enjoy sleeping with different women, you’re surely going to enjoy sleeping alone.” You snapped before leaving the living room to go to the bathroom to wash up.
Arvin glared at Celeste angrily and she said, “Sir, I understand if you fire me. It’s fine. I’m sorry for disrespecting you in your house. But before you fire me, think about what I said, sir. Also, think about your son. You can’t take care of him because of your job and your wife can’t take care of him because she’s busy with different things. If you fire me, no one else will look out for Hayden. Thank you for listening, sir.”
Celeste looked down and went to Hayden’s room in hopes that she could coax him into unlocking the door and letting her in.
Arvin sighed in distress and rubbed his face with his hands before going to the master’s bedroom and slamming the door.
-
Arvin didn’t know what happened. All he remembered was going to an event that was attended by his mob allies when all of a sudden, his rival mob attacked them all. A lot of shooting happened and he was sure that his mob friends were killed. He hoped they weren’t.
People were screaming and he heard someone crying at some point. His people were scattered everywhere and he didn’t know if they were alright. He didn’t get out scott-free, though. He got shot on his side and he was shooting his rivals all while trying to get out of the venue to get in the car and go back to his mansion.
When he arrived, Amelia was already on her feet and doing her tasks. She was the only doctor, but she pushed through and it amazed Arvin how Amelia could help them. He admired her and thought that she was strong. Her job isn’t easy, after all.
A few hours of taking out bullets from bodies and declaring one person dead on arrival, Amelia was finally finished with her job. She was in Arvin’s office to get her paycheck while Arvin wrote her salary on a check.
“$20,000” Arvin wrote before handing it to her with a tight-lipped smile. Amelia took the check gratefully.
“Thank you, Mr. Russell.” Amelia smiled before grabbing her bag and leaving. Arvin sighed and leaned back on his chair. He hasn’t been home for a while and Hayden didn’t want to speak with him whenever he called you to talk to Hayden. It broke his heart.
He put a hand on his gun wound and closed his eyes to rest for a while to think about his life. He never really thought that his life would turn out like this, but he knew that someday he’d have to take over the mob. When he took over, that’s when he met you.
In truth, he didn’t know how or what to feel when it comes to you. He’s confused. His thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing which made him groan. He opened his eyes, grabbed his phone, and answered it without looking at the caller ID.
“Hello?” He answered.
“Hello, Russell.” His rival, George, said. Arvin could almost imagine the smug look on George’s face. Arvin gripped his phone tighter, “What do you want? You killed one of my men. Isn’t that enough?”
“Quite frankly, no. I would send my condolences to the deceased family, but I don’t really give a shit. Besides, it would teach you a lesson from stealing from me!”
“For the last time, I didn’t steal from you!” Arvin shouted.
“Your men joined my mob and stole from me!”
“It’s not stealing if they’re getting what’s rightfully ours.” Arvin hissed. “If anything, you stole from me!”
George scoffed, “If you really think that way, fine. Just know that you’ll pay for it.”
“I’m not paying for anything, George.” Arvin chuckled bitterly before pouring himself some scotch with one hand.
“Not even for your family?” George asked. “Wow, that shit’s cold.”
“What’re you talking about?” Arvin asked with furrowed eyebrows as he took a sip of his drink.
“Oh, you’re not informed?” George said sarcastically. “Your wife and son are here with me. If you don’t give me back what you stole from me, I’ll kill them. You know where to find me, Russell.”
George hung up and Arvin yelled in frustration. He sat up and winced because of his wound. He ran a hand through his hair and thought about how he’ll save you and Hayden. Him and his men talked about plans and when they were able to finalize, they wasted no time in going to George’s place.
The plan was going to George and giving him a duffel bag filled with rocks, so that he’ll think it’s the thing he was looking for; the thing he claimed Arvin’s men stole. Arvin decided that it’d be best for his men to ‘give it back’ to George while he and a few guys would look for you and Hayden.
Arvin heard George shouting about everything being fake and he heard gunshots. In a span of a few hours, his mob was shooting people again. He heard Hayden’s familiar cries and followed it while being covered by Javier, one of his men.
When Arvin found the room where George kept you and Hayden, he gasped when he saw you lying in your own blood, unconscious next to a weeping Hayden.
“Daddy!” Hayden cried and it made Arvin’s heart break. He had so many questions running through his mind. How long have you been unconscious? Why are you unconscious? Did they hurt both of you? Where’s Celeste?
Arvin quickly untied Hayden and he didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around him. “It’s okay, buddy. Everything’ll be okay.” Arvin whispered and kissed the top of Hayden’s head. He lets go of Hayden and knelt beside your body. He untied you and panicked when he saw multiple gun wounds on you. He knew that if you stayed longer, you’d die.
Arvin turned to Hayden and said, “Listen to me, okay? Take care of mommy and don’t go anywhere. Got it?”
Hayden nodded and wiped his tears. “Are you coming back?”
“Of course, I’m coming back.” Arvin reassured him. He stood up and quickly left the room and shot every person from his rival mob. When he saw George, all Arvin saw was red and started beating the shit out of his rival.
George didn’t get a chance to defend himself because Arvin just kept throwing punches and hits. Arvin wanted George dead for bringing his family into their problems. Arvin didn’t care about George’s bloody and bruised state. Arvin pushed George to the ground and whipped out his gun.
“This is for my family.” Arvin panted. He looked at George in the eye and shot his head mercilessly. He looked at his surroundings and saw that almost everyone in George’s mob was dead and the few that were alive, are either unconscious or terribly bruised.
Arvin ran back to the room and picked up Hayden. “I told you I’d be back.” He said as Hayden rested his head on the crook of Arvin’s neck.
Arvin ordered one of his men to carry you and immediately drove to the mansion. Arvin called Amelia and said that he needed her ASAP.
“Mr. Russell, it’s late and it’s not my schedule.” Amelia said groggily. She was already deeply sleeping and Arvin disturbed her greatly.
“I know, I know and I’m sorry. I need you ASAP, Amelia. It’s my wife this time.” Arvin said frantically. They arrived at the mansion and rushed you to the medical room where Amelia was hours before.
Hayden was asleep in Arvin’s arms and he went to his room to let Hayden sleep there comfortably. He hears shuffling around on Amelia’s end as he did his best to tuck Hayden in.
“I’m on my way.” Amelia said.
“Okay, please hurry.” Arvin pleaded before hanging up. He looked at Hayden and smiled a bit at the sight of his son fast asleep. He quietly left the room and rushed to the medical room where you were being kept. He wasn’t a doctor and he didn’t know what to do. Time was running out and for the first time in years, he finally saw you.
He finally realized how important you are in his life. He finally realized that it would hurt him deeply if you were gone. He couldn’t imagine going on with life without you by his side. He didn’t notice Amelia walking in the medical room and he only acknowledged her presence when he was being escorted out of the room by her.
“Wait, no! I want to say, Am-”
“You know you can’t.” Amelia said sternly. “It’s protocol. You can’t be here. Just wait outside.” Amelia pushed the mobster out the room and locked it. The whole time he waited, Arvin was pacing back and forth. He was restless. Who wouldn’t be? If your spouse is undergoing a procedure, you’d want to know about them, right? Arvin had no clue how you were doing.
Three hours later, the door opened and Amelia stepped out of the room. She was clearly tired. Arvin stopped pacing and stared at Amelia who only said, “She’s okay.”
“Thank you.” Arvin sighed in relief as he walked towards the room.
“You don’t need to pay me. Consider it a freebie. I know what it’s like to grow up without a mom at a young age and I don’t want that to happen to Hayden. Take care, sir.” Amelia smiled softly before leaving.
Arvin went into the room and pulled up a chair to sit next to your bed. He held your hand and stared at you. It’s been a long time since he’s seen your face. You were beautiful. You always have been and always will. Seeing you unconscious scared him greatly and it made him realize how much he still loves and cares about you.
“Y/N, I’m sorry this happened to you. I mean it.” Arvin said softly. “I love you. I’m sorry it took me almost losing you to realize that. You don’t know how sorry I am, sweetheart.”
“I can’t imagine the pain you must have felt when Celeste came clean about seeing me and some other girl on Hayden’s birthday. But I know you, Y/N. I know that you’ve always had a feeling that I was unfaithful and I can’t imagine your heartbreak when you found out about it being true.”
“When we first got together, I promised I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. I’m sorry for breaking that promise. I’ll be better for you, Y/N. I’ll come home and I’ll stay with you whenever you need me. I’ll be present for Hayden and I don’t want to argue with you anymore. I want us to go back to normal and I know it’ll be hard for you, but I’m willing to try.” Arvin said with hope in his eyes.
“I also know that you’re awake and that you can hear me clearly.” He added as he looked at you. You slowly opened your eyes and looked at him, “I hate that you know me well.”
“I actually love it. It makes me feel like I’m still in touch with you. Lord knows I’d be heartbroken if I can’t read you anymore.” He chuckled lightly before pressing a light kiss on your hand.
“Did you mean what you said? Trying again?” You asked and he nodded. “Then, I’ll try too.”
Being married to a mobster wasn’t easy. Everything has to be kept under wraps whilst having a lavish lifestyle. But when you’re young, you’re naive and you think that everything will work out and you’ll live happily ever after like some Disney fairytale. Everyone seems to forget that Disney princess stories were adapted from the Brothers Grimm and Hans Christian Andersen.
However, some relationships work out and your marriage turns into something better than before. It happened to you and Arvin. He kept his promises and soon, you were blessed with a second child. Celeste was alright and you treated her like a sister you never had. In return for sending her to college, she did well in her studies and made sure to show you her grades which made you proud.
Everything was coming together and you were thankful that things took a nice turn. Your life as a mobster's wife wasn’t so bad, after all.
* * * *
𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐀𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐍 𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @cocoamoonmalfoy @parkerpeter24 @slutforsr @rumplebutterbaby @dummiesshort @quxxnxfhxll @bora-world @supred12 @more-like-reyna
𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @holland-styles @trustfundparker @calltothewild @felicityparkers @hufflepuffprincess24 @tommysparker @justasmisunderstoodasloki @quaksonhehe @call-me-baby-gir1 @itstaskeen @theonly1outof-a-billion @lost-in-the-stars03 @justafangirlduh @piscesparker @speedymaximoff @miraclesoflove @lexirv @blairscott @getbywithasmile @pqrkerr @lavender-writer @blackbat2020 @hoodpankow @bi-lmg @emmastarz
#arvin russell#arvin russell x reader#arvin russell x y/n#arvin russell one shots#arvin russell blurbs#arvin russell fic#arvin russell imagine#in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh
108 notes
·
View notes