#my neck hurts enough as it is
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Heyo! I'm still currently working on my backlog but I also have upcoming rent to pay this week so I'm opening another batch of comms!
This time I'll be doing pokemon / pkmn OCs in the style of Pokemon Cafe Mix :)
So it would look something like this:
Only opening 10 slots for now! I'll try streaming the process for them as well if I can ^^
Slots are available thru ko-fi here: https://ko-fi.com/c/0451254ff4
Thank you sm!! 💛💛💛
#I should've done this earlier bc now im pressed for time lol T_T#well... it's mostly bc i've been sketching my remaining backlog#on paper#my neck hurts whenever I draw on tablet / computer so i've decided maaaybe going traditional should help even just a lil bit#my samsung tab is kinda heavy (like half a kilo) so I can't really draw on it at just any position i'd like :T#kinda wish i'd gotten a lighter tab instead 🥲#seriously tho#but anyways!! im opening another batch of comms bc my rent is due this week 🥲#also my bday is next week...... I dont really know if i'll have enough funds by then to treat myself but i'll try to work hard 😤#bam blabs
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Whumpee losing their voice to screaming, unable to answer Whumper or beg them to stop. The only sounds they can make now are quiet gasps and high, broken whimpers.
#in honor of me losing my voice over the last several days#I happened to get sick at the same time#so for anyone who needs a reference: all I could do was whisper—and even that took effort and a little pain#it hurt so badly to swallow that I had to brace myself before doing it and I would still wince#sensitive skin around the neck but especially the sides of the throat where there was the most swelling (being choked would not be fun)#it’s taken three days for my voice to come back enough to speak at a regular volume#but I’m still stuck in the lower registers of my voice#for anyone whose Whumpee has lost their voice#hope this helps!#whump
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1. Dog day…why did you say when you saw your husbands picture “ he’s alive????” Did you think he was dead.
"The passage of time is worthless when you there's nothing you can count on, except pain. So I always assumed my past life, and everything in it, was already gone. Hope is a very fickle thing, down here."
(Based on this song)
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#my neck hurts#I was originally going to turn this into a full animation - buut halfway through I'm like “fuck that actually”#relining the double frames was time consuming enough LMAO#I'm still pretty happy with how it turned out though!#Also if you're not really a fan of choral music I BEG of you to chekc out these composers:#Daniel Elder#Jake Runestad#randal stroope#and Moses Hogan#Some of my favorite composers of all fucking time#like holy shit#im such a choral nerd lmao#ask the three d's#the three d's#dogday#dogday poppy playtime#featured: kissy missy#featured: poppy#Charles poppy playtime#Drew drives a station wagon#he got his friend to paint little designs on it#phrart#art#also yes that IS a Rich puppet in Charles' lap#bro misses his hubby okay he needs to cope somehow#he's not delusional tho dw#it's just his way of keeping the memory alive since his memory is ass (me too Charles me too)
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drawing Barnaby is incredibly Detrimental to my health because it consistently finds me like this:
#MY NECK HURTS <3#i'll Realize. fix my posture#lose myself in the Love and then BOOM shrimping once more#i hunch over my tablet face To The Screen like some wild beast defending its kill#but with... Delight and Whimsy instead of bloodthirsty viciousness#shoulders hunched back Curled head down and jutted forward-#snf sob... love truly is pain....#absolutely unprompted#THERE'S NO NEED FOR ME TO SIT LIKE THISSSSSS#I JUST GET SO ABSORBED!!! HE'S SO!!!!#completely related but there isn't enough Handsome Barnaby art#well. every image of him is handsome in my professional opinion#but you know what i mean!!!!#i need to put him in outfits....#no. you know what i need?#a very very tiny pixelated image of him framed and hung on my wall#tiny frame. tiny barnaby. really just like. three blue pixels#that way when i wake up in the mornings i can look over and see The Pixels#and be filled with enough strength to Get Up#i need the motivation to get out of bed... i have been sleeping until 3 every day....#methinks. tis not healthy#but yes. tiny barnaby in a frame please and Thank You!
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oh my god u rly are everyone you've ever loved !! for better or worse !! a part of you becomes them!
#i had a moment of lucidity idk im in this café the person i went on a few dates w is coming to see me i said come study w me#and they said okay immediately even though im a town over and i dont like them i really dont feel even a little attracted to them that way#but i did let them bite my neck a week ago and it still hurts i let them hold my hand i just#i never start anything#i let them kiss me. why do i do that? i dont feel anything towards them#and i told them ill probably never sleep with them and i thought thats enough but it really isnt is it#they write poetry about people they meet even once#theyre coming a whole town over to study w me but its not a date i feel nothing towards them romantically and i dont want to lose them as#a friend. this was her line of thinking wasnt it? i would take the train and meet her near her place in ldn and wed study together and#shed let me hold her and she would never initiate much and we were just studying together and it wasnt a date#like . fuck. i dont want to do what she djd to me to another person ever#their shared location map went offline at london bridge like ok theyre in the underground they are fr coming a whole town over#its a short distance but the point is i think i should have taken what my friend said more seriously . she told me i was kinda leading#them on bc what i thought to be just meetups dates might entail more for them#anyway im gonna be clear w them this time maybe#....IT JUST NEVER COMES UP IS THE THING#do i have to clarify even if it never comes up#i do in fact hear myself#ok#the parallels r lining up#aaa
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Not feeling it rn cuz idk how to disclose to my family (mom, really) that I have two very funnily misplaced random underskin lumps on my neck and and one on the back of my head, and that my mind immiditely jumped to the worst conclusion
#The constant fatigue migranes and brain fog ive had for a good year doesn't help#oh its the damned phone it's because you don't do anything all day it's because you don't see the sun#maybe#doesn't change the fact that they are there and I'm scared haha#had the one on the back of my head for a while#and definitely didnt have a panic attack over finding the third one earlier today when absemindedly scratching my neck#they're kinda hard to find but once you feel them boy oh boy it#sigh it just seems really idk. over the top?#like if I was suppoused to die couldn't it have been anything less mentally and money taxing lmao#why bother with cancer ffs it's not like I have anything in my life going on#and to think I was actually planning on getting it together#my mom has enough on her plate as she is#what with her work slowly killing her#why is she literaly the only one that would kinda care#only after telling me I'm definitely overreacting but still#whatver man#I can't sleep but my head hurts#it's just my period anyway#sorry guys I will be back to Joy and whimsy soon I'm sure#vent#like in amongus haha
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rudy hides his feral nature behind his soft eyes and thumb hole hoodies, he aimed to shoot soap’s neck in the safe house - a slow and messy death - and in the prison, he tackles a shadow to the ground, throws haymakers at him then shoots him, man is unhinged
#we really dont talk enough about rudy aiming at soaps neck like holy shit what#you dont aim for the neck to kill someone#if a shadow had managed to find the safe house then that meant theyd taken alejandro and broken him into giving them the location#rudy already knew where graves took his men#he didnt need information#he didnt need a hostage#he wanted revenge and if ghost hadnt spoken he wouldve taken it#that wasnt a soldier aiming for a hostile#that was a man aiming for someone that hurt his friend#and he wanted to draw it out#he was also fully planning on storming the prison by himself like??#justice for rudy#hes feral and no one realises it bc he looks soft#and he calms alejandro when his anger gets the better of him#but alejandro has a quick anger its quick to flash but also quick to calm#rudys anger is slow building but terrifying#an angry alejandro is par for the course but its rudys anger los vaqueros know to fear#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#rodolfo parra#alejandro vargas#alerudy#cod mw2#call of duty#soap cod#we’re a team. ghost team
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I could tell you how long my hair is but I think it's best if I explain how long my hair is.
I opened the door, I walked through the door, I managed to close the door, and then take an entire step away from the closed door before my head got yanked back because the doorknob had caught the end of my ponytail.
Ow
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I love you education system!!! come here so I can give you a biiiig kiss WITH MY RAZOR SHARP TEETH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH
#did homework for 15 hours today /srs#because my teachers are incapable of setting a normal amount of work#over the weekend#long weekend? no worries!!! just set twice as much work!!!!#robin shut up challenge#I'm really upset and beat up everything hurts#my eyes my back my neck my joints#god. my brain#cried a lot#autismcore#I have at least 4 headaches right now#this is not normal!!!!!! I am 16!!!!!!!!!!!!!#you as a teacher should not be setting enough work to make a 16 year old break down and be in constant pain for 15 hours!!!!!#anyway. ok to reblog#vent tw#caps#ignore the tags and reblog /g please. spread hate for education system
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im going to bed
youtube
heres a song i like goodnight
#......................#.............................................#..............................................................................#thats probably enough of a buffer.#last night i dreamed i was in the hollow below the tree that my body was in. when i woke up in the morgue all i wanted to do was curl up#my bones remember i think. even if i dont. sometimes i feel a phantom emptiness on my chest#like the arrows. like the knives.#its scary. its so scary.#im just a kid#will i remember it forever? how long will it haunt me?#people die all the time. people die and come back. people die and come back and they remember but it doesnt haunt them#i was trapped in death and i think thats... its not gone. maybe it is magically but i still feel it.#all i had for so many months was the vague knowledge that i was dead and this overwhelming sense of sharp coldness#my body remembers. i remember. how does anyone forget things like this? i dont want this. i dont want to remember.#i like it under my bed. ive put pillows and blankets down here. the vent that blows in cold air is here too so it feels comfy#and maybe it reminds me of being under the tree. and i dont know why but thats something im actually okay with#my body was under something for so long. the soil was cursed but i loved those woods. i miss the woods. my body hurts.#my mom is missing a leg and sometimes she talks about phantom pains. like her leg realizes it isnt there and screams#can you feel that way about a hole in your chest and your neck. can you feel that way about a tree above you.#can you feel that way about death#maybe i should get angry. but alone. so so alone so i dont hurt anyone.#i cant prove him right. because he was wrong and everything he ever said was wrong and he sucks and i hate him#im not like him.#im like gertie and my parents.#im so tired. im so tired. i want to sleep in dirt for a few more months. maybe sort myself out somewhere dark and quiet.
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I hate it when standing hurts
#not my ankles or legs or knees#(tho those do hurt if long enough)#no my fucking neck#i know#I KNOW#its not good#and its like nerve damage hellfire right at the base of my neck and i wanna cry everytime it happens
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Does anyone here draw in both desktop & mobile? I'm planning to get a galaxy tab at some point and since I don't really have any experience drawing on a (mobile) tablet, I'm curious abt how it feels to draw on one vs. drawing on pc w/ a graphic tablet 🤔
#once I have all my commission slots filled up that's when i'll buy one#i've been hesitating bc i'm not used to spending a big amt for something but honestly it's more of an investment than a simple want#my poor 10 year old laptop + monitor + keyboard setup is the 'pc' im currently using#both the laptop screen & keyboard isn't working properly anymore so i have a separate monitor + keyboard for it#it's pretty laggy most of the time#not sure how it's still holding up#ngl sometimes i'm worried it'll just give up on me & break at any moment#so I kinda wanna have a backup device#anyways! I get easily tired drawing on pc for some reason#I think it's bc i unconsciously tense my neck? whenever i stare at the monitor for too long#also my eyes hurt + the extreme hot weather lately is making me dizzy so i can't work for long periods of time 😔#I see a lot of artists use ipad so i'm guessing drawing on a tab would also feel nice???#also would that get you in the mood to draw more bc you can bring it w/ u anywhere?#i'm hoping to be able to draw more honestly.....#also the timelapse!! csp wont let me record timelapse on my current pc and idk why that is#might be bc im still on win 7#HOPING i could post timelapse vids when i finally have a tab#tbh i want to get one asap (like as in rn) but I want to make sure I have enough budget first so im waiting for my comm slots to be full#bam blabs
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oh man today has not been a good day lmao
#I stay silly!!!#but what the fuck!!!#I wake up after having weird dreams#idk what drawfee and chappell roan and a party have to do with anything#but okay???#I had trouble getting to sleep too#and ugh#anyway!! I wake up and immediately my neck and shoulders hurt way more than they usually do#for some reason I decide laying my head in a weird way is an okay thing to do in response to that#except it totally isn’t because when I tried to get up it made it worse#like I literally couldn’t move#I was very close to tears about it#very close#and then once that settles I have to do dishes#which is just… it’s fine but it’s not a task I like doing especially when I’m already feeling like shit#and then my plan/timeline gets thrown off bc my mom decides to clean the drains#and so then dyeing yarn gets delayed#(the black yarn I need for this commission wasn’t black enough)#but only by like half an hour so fine whatever#I dye the yarn and that went kinda fucky#like it worked but it was finicky and i got shit tangled at one point#but again! I got it sorted and it all turned out okay!!#but that took a couple hours to untangle shit and rewind it only to unwind it again and then blow dry it#aka way fucking longer than I wanted#and then I finally finish crocheting one out of two of the things#and I hate it. tried something new and it didn’t work and so I had to frog it#and ideally I’d have this done by Wednesday but idk man#I didn’t dye enough yarn either so I’m gonna have to do that tomorrow#and I also don’t have enough t-shirt scraps to use as stuffing#ALL THE WHILE MY STUPID NECK AND SHOULDERS STILL HURT!!!!
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i will be honest it does feel like some manner of process is occurring today.
#migraine or vaccine side effects. either way mainly my neck hurts and i feel a bit not good.#not enough for me to stop doing my thing!!!!! but enough to be like wow. i feel kinda garbage dot com.
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The school I work for has these giant green vinyl rocking chairs and they are so so comfy and rock really smoothly. I need one for my place LOL
#I love when my student requests the sensory room because it gives me an excuse to rock in one of those chairs for fifteen minutes#I feel infinitely more regulated. So I guess I get sensory breaks whenever they do huh#I’m gonna take a picture of it so I can find it#The seat is deep enough for me to comfortably sit cross-legged without slipping#My tailbone doesn’t hurt after sitting in it either. It is the perfect shape for a human butt#It’s hard but has an ergonomic backrest#which is perfect because I need firmness#I can rest my neck without having to lie down as well which is really really nice#I shall have nothing but rocking chairs and wobble stools in my seating areas
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Bobby has re-entered my conscious thought rotation. I was having a good time flinging him around in the animations inside my head. Then I realized when I do his section on the Thought Comp. Doc I'm going to have to (re)write the intricate list of rules and guidelines (for myself) for how he should interact with Chloe and took damage.
#hi bobby i missed you randomly barging into my mind to completely derail my thoughts#so i have to make numerous drawings of you to exorcise you#if i can focus for long enough and get solid enough ideas#nah writing that thing wont be that bad im only exaggerating#im grabbing him by his slurpy straw ass neck and tossing him around yaaaay#hey stinkyyy#(he comes through my screen and kills me but not even by hurting me but because he smells bad)
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