#thats probably enough of a buffer.

[sorrowsaint]

im going to bed

heres a song i like goodnight

[woodlandwizard77]

A Step by Step Guide to Losing Your D**k

I recently wrote a series of messages to my aunt talking about all the steps I need to do to get bottom surgery, a penile inversion vaginoplasty at Mt. Sinai, in the next year or two. Its a long list. And everytime I added something she had a sort of “wow thats rough” reaction, but to me its just the to do list. So I decided to write them all out.

Start transition DONE

Most insurance companies and surgeons require you to have socially transitioned and have done HRT for at least 1 year at the time of operation

For social transition, this was March of 2024

For HRT it will be January of 2025

Get a referral to a surgeon (I am here)

In my case, Mt. Sinai in Manhattan

My Doctor referred me, but Mt. Sinai takes self referrals

Start laser hair removal

Book a consultation (I am here)

Go to laser frequently enough to satisfy surgeon

Convince Mom and Dad to help out DONE

Get 2 letters

Social Worker (1)

PCP's Office

Social Worker (2)

Mt. Sinai

Get a gender affirmation loan through the local credit union

Work two weeks so I can take in pay stubs

Get a letter from anybody (probably my HRT prescriber

Meet with representative and either open a line of credit or take out a loan

Consultation with Mt. Sinai’s team

Wait 3-6 months (I’m here)

Bring letters

My insurance only requires 2, less than Mt. Sinai thinks insurance will need, and Mt. Sinai provides 1 of them. Meaning the other is through IHS Behavioral

Schedule Social Work pre surgical consult appt

Schedule Mental Health and Medical Clearance with Registrar

Go to NYC for 1-2 nights, maybe for each, hopefully just once

Maybe also for Social Work thing

Consult with Surgeon

Wait until I’ve worked about 12 months to get short term disability

Probably summer (ASAP) and when Mom has time off

Do logistics

Book an airbnb, hotel, etc for recovery

Starting a few days after OR date and lasting a little over a month

Within a 90 minute drive of Mt. Sinai

Rural enough that Mom is comfortable to help and can go home if someone else shows up

Probably New Jersey, maybe Hudson Valley

Has at least 1, preferably 2, separate bedrooms

Has 2 beds

Has ADA accessible entry

Has a kitchen

Has a full bath, preferably and a half

Has internet and preferably a TV

Lodging for Mom + Dad/care team while I’m in OR

Probably 5-7 days

Preferably with a 1-2 day buffer period before OR date (included in the 7 day estimate) so I can enjoy the city

Either within a short walk from Mt. Sinai or on the same subway line as Mt. Sinai

RW, 1, or ACE

Someone to help me get from recovery location to Mt. Sinai while not in NYC

Develop and get list of items needed for recovery

Dilator

Pads

Gowns/loose clothing

Comfort food

Coordinate missing 8-9 weeks of work

Take care with who knows what before I leave

Inform HR, department manager, and work friends whats up

Get cleared for surgery and get an OR date

Probably a 6-12 month date from clearance

Get pre clearance testing through PCP or a lab in hometown

Go to NYC for that if need be

Week Before Surgery

No alcohol, no aspirin, NSAIDs, herbal supplements, or fish oil

Consult for other non aspirin blood thinners (which I am not on)

No alcohol for 3 weeks after as well

Tylenol/Acetaminophen is okay

Go downstate

See friends from NYC?

Bring Mom/Dad?

Do something fun in Manhattan

Get a COVID test

Take an anti-bacterial bath

Day before surgery

Breakfast before 9am

Last meal

Drink Golytely bowel solution around noon

Chemically induced diarrhea

Clear fluids only after golytely

(includes coffee, tea, water, broth, some juices)

Nothing goes in the stomach after midnight

Some medication okay with a sip of water

HRT???

Get surgery (a penile inversion vaginoplasty)

1 to 1+½ days

I’ve heard of as long as three

3-5 day hospital stay

Mom and Dad probably stay in Manhattan then

Go to recovery location

Drive with seat reclined

Stay for 4 weeks, pretty much bedridden

Go to follow ups

Dilate

Go home

Continue recovery for another 2-4 weeks at home

Follow up with PCP

Return to life

[gojofavho3]

Hi there i have a little Gojo req in mind; Gojo x male reader but reader is like,, taller than him, bigger yk? maybe a bit buffer, arms big enough to throw Gojo over his shoulder hehe. Maybe Gojo is infatuated by the idea of climbing on top of Reader and absolutely WRECKING himself on him 😍 alright okay that got out of hand i hope thats okay but ofc if not i understand and you can just ignore this req, but if you DO do the fic then i am FOREVER IN YOUR DEBT 🙏🏼

Heyyyyy, thanks for the request!!! Sorry to keep you waiting, I had a math test, so I had to put all my focus on that, and that shit was so easy mann

A/n: It probably won't be long, trying to discover other types of writing tbh, because my writing in English is not as good as my Portuguese yk? And dyslexic also doesn't help a lot

There aren't many people who are taller than gojo, At least that he knows personally

gojo is 1.90 centimeters tall, any taller than that you will have to bend down at doors

When you two started dating, he was the happiest man alive, there's is not much people close to him that live so long so, he tries his hardest to protect you and make u become more and more happy every day of your relationship

He just loves you too much

He lets you do anything with him, first time you put him in your shoulders he was surprised. he didn't know what to say or what to do, he was blushing so bad that even a rose couldn't be that red, he was caught off guard not using infinity. Eventually, he got used to and sometimes he doesn't use infinity so you can grab him and put him in your shoulders

He also loves the warmth of your body, especially when it comes to cuddling, he won't leave you alone, not even for one second. You being bigger then him and probably with a bigger chest, he will put his cheek on your chest and rub his cheek against your chest, very close to your nipples, all his problems in the world almost fade away in that state

And thats one of the reasons you have the so called the "strongest" on your dick rn!

" Satoru gojo desperate for a dick so bad. who would imagine?

The so "strongest!"... strongest hoe that's for sure "

The white hair has his cheeks red, red and red, he was on top of you, some of his sweat going to your stomach and pre cum too

In this angle the white moon made him look glorious, the shadow makes his blue eyes glowing like the stars.

It was a dark night, and a cold one too! With autumn the winds start to get stronger and stronger

And what's more warm to made two body's sweat than sex?

"c-can't you he-help me a little ah-awh!"

" nopee! You tied my hands, your the one who wanted so bad to do it alone "

Your hand points to your hands, tied up to the bed by Satoru with one of his blindfolds

He pouts, but continues to go up and down on your fat cook

Every time he goes down he lets out a moan and whimpers, closing his eyes shut tight with his head looking up

Up Up Up Up Up

Down Down Down down down

He goes down and sucks your nipples until it becomes red and purple, he loves hearing you whimpering and creaming, he could feel you getting more close in the seconds

Sometimes he letted it leave his hole put he slip it back again, with the most care in the world

He stopped sucking it and goes to your face, giving you a honest smile, with his eyes close, and then giving you silly kisses that he knew you loved

Satoru could feel your cheeks being heated as he played with them, like a granny, making you made silly faces too.

"why are you making my face look silly in the middle of fucking?"

"b-because..."

"because..?"

"because I cann! W-Why~~? Wanted me to slap them?? Agwh!.."

"no sir!"

You says Ironically as he stops after a while and continues to bounce on your dick

His ass cheeks slapping with your lower part, making the clap sound over and over

You could feel he was cumming, you could feel how tight his hole was becoming and the sounds he was madding becoming more loud

" c-ca-can I I cum.. mhm! "

" n-no need to ask, jus come, I'm also close..."

You say already feeling your cum starting to leave your cook

Up Up Up Up Up Up upupuupupupup-

Downdowndowndowndowndowndown-

Splash!

White

Everywhere

You two were heavily breathing, with white splashed on your stomach and the covers

He falls in your chest, cum dripping down on his hole going to your cook and traveling to the covers

His hair is all messed up like yours

He kisses you, a kiss really heated out, until you two become with almost no air, painted out

" d-did... did you g-get warm...? "

Satoru nods as he can't talk yet

" good.. "

You say finally taking your hands of his blindfold, going immediately to his ass, slapping with all your strength, making his ass red as fuckkk, letting it jiggle, yes, he has some cake there

He whines and lets out a loud moan that even your neighbours could hear

He had a confused and hot look on his face as he puts his hand in his hair wires, messing it more

"w-why..??"

" to get you ready for round 2

It's good that you warm but! This shit ain't over love!! "

Hope u like it! And now your in debt with me 😈

Kidding

This was funny to write

I don't understand people who say the moon is yellow, like the only colour I see is white there

And for knowledge, I'm not colour blind, I think

And now, I'll farm for sampo, my big titties man 😋💖

See you, till next time!

@heart-lovees

[toffeebrews]

Hello!! How tall is Vigil? is she as tall as canon Toriel or is she another height? also what is the thing on her cheek? is that a scar (how did she get it then?) or some other mark? and how does she handle murderous Floweys? does she have hard times killing those? does she try to convince them otherwise? does she ignore them? how about human children, like Charas and Frisks?

I'm so sorry if these are a lot of questions but you have no idea how much i waited for someone to make a Toriel outcode!!! she deserves so much attention...

I appreciate the enthusiasm! Part of the reason I made her in the first place is Toriel and other characters from undertale are kinda unexplored in the utmv :D! I was kinda scared at first at it being ooc but then I realized most of the sanses of the multiverse are ooc anyway so... (no hate btw)

She's probably slightly taller than normal toriel, something like 6"5"? assuming Toriel is 6"3".

Yes, that's a scar! They're supposed to reflect the injuries she gets in a genocide route because she comes from one :) The one on her hip area is there as well, just not seen.

Floweys? Partially yeah. Especially once she learned Flowey and asriel are one in the same. But she has enough of a buffer that it may not bother her in the same way as say killing someone whos an Asirel.

Depending on the circumstances she may just attempt to council. Say, if they've only

Frisk, Chara or any other children she would struggle to kill. Given her belief of inherent murderers. She would believe these children are doomed to a dark path. I think Vigil would attempt to ignore or simply find a way to confine or cage them in some way. Is there like .. multiverseal jail? Yeah something like that. So they can't hurt others and she doesn't have to kill them. The only way i could see her actually killing them is on accident which is entirely possible .

She would kill a child only as a last resort and they're actively in the moment trying to kill someone. Maybe thats a difference between her and normal toriel idk shrug. She would bury herself in "that wasn't a child anymore" or "it was for the protection of the multiverse." She would pretend it didn't happen.

[batsrambles]

just finished reading the raven boys, so while i wait for dream thieves to arrive at my door, here's the innacurate way my brain imagined the gang:

spoilers. if that's needed. plus warning, this is hella long

BLUE:

• sorry ok i could not imagine her with anything but blue hair. like a dark almost purply blue, the kind you could get away with by pretending it's black. i am 100% sure everyone and their mom imagined her with blue hair but shhhh my tumblr post my rules.

• big ol eyes. starin into your soul. idk why. felt right. my brain was like hmm magnet for energy = big ol starin eyes? window to soul? i think yes.

• back to the hair i could only imagine it like. spiky. like goth girl's first time cutting her own bangs. or like the animal crossing bed head hair when you don't log in for a couple of days and pop back up. half way through i reminded myself she has at least a tiny ponytail and can't have hair THAT short but oh well

• the clothes i kept imagining her with flopped from scene to like cottagecore but bright ass colours. so not cottagecore at all but like. the dresses skirts cardigans all that. but bright. honestly she's fashion goals in my head

• also unrelated but she'd def choose rosalina in any game she's an option. queen

GANSEY:

• play that funky muuusic whiiite boouuuyyy. except that mf has been like around the world in 80 days and does nawt stop running around after the ley lines so he is definitely not paper pale unlike someone

• i knowww he doesn't have glasses on for the majority of the book but i could NOT imagine him without them at all. like it was a shock any time it was mentioned he did have them on my brain had to buffer like "did he not. always have. them.??.????". the round metal frame kind, with nose pads, and rose-gold in colour

• brown eyes feel right for him. sad ol deer baby eyes

• also i kept. reading his lines. in an australian accent? i read a lot in public & i live in australia so thats probably why. i mixed it in with irish sometimes and i think that's because halfway through a page i'd start reading in my own voice in my head rather than making character voices. idk what was happening in my head

• i imagine he walked into a store once, looked at the shelves with all the polo shirts, took one of every colour, hasn't grown since so hasn't needed any other clothes, and has one specific colour for every day of the week + special occassions. also like seven pairs of the exact same shorts and wears his school shoes everywhere

ADAM:

• green eyes. but the browny kind. green-brown. hazel? idk. yk what i mean

• i also imagine he's Had the baby's first home-haircut thing goin on, then it grew out because imagine having time to go get a haircut with all he's got going on. he's the guy that's always holding his own fringe back with a hand to fucking see. he's definitely been forced to tie it up like a unicorn horn more than once. also don't think the back is safe. it's not long enough for an actual ponytail but it's thick enough for another unicorn horn

• freckles. drops mic. walks away. idc. he's the kinda guy to be freckly everywhere. won't elaborate. i don't think this is an uncommon opinion like blue and her blue hair

• also a mole like on his jaw. idk why. sitting here tryna imagine the characters n that's what i see so.

• also also i know his hair is "dusty" but my brain interpreted that as dirty blond when i think it's blond blond so oops

• also also also braces. idk why. he's a dork

• i read his lines in like a vaguely texan accent. Vaguely. idk why again. it's not like he's ever said anything to warrant that. i think i did a british accent at the start too 😭 sorry adam you didn't deserve that

can you tell i really like adam parrish

NOAH:

• looooong hair. worse than i imagined adam. like noah's is straight as fuck too. i also imagined he hunches just a lil bit, so his hair would be like half covering his face

• and i knowwww it's hella innacurate but fsr my brain saw him with pitch-black hair.

• so yes as you can tell i was imagining that one girl out of the tv yk the one whenever noah just appeared out of thin air. which was before i found out he was dead dead and not depressed-mentally-dead dead, so you can imagine the face i pulled like "oh fuck i was kidding when i imagined him ghostly"

• and after that point he got like rlly prominent cheekbones in my brain, like skeletal

• i also actually imagined him as rlly tall. idk why. it just felt right. like an ominous shadow in the distance

• also also how could he not have like THE 2000s emo fringe. HOW COULD HE NOT

• also also also tooth gap idk why feels right felt right will always be in my head

my favourite little freak. fav character. was so distraught when they found his license

RONAN:

• i am incapable of tanning like at all i just get sun burnt or more freckly so i can only imagine ronan as the same

• also i could only imagine him as lanky as fuck for 90% of the book. i know he's nooooot i just. i couldn't imagine anything but tall and lanky. it was only after the chapter with adam's dad that i gave in and stopped imagining him with twig arms

• like adam, i also imagined him with freckles but like, not everywhere like adam, just in very specific spots. he's got more moles than he does freckles. so i wouldn't really describe it as freckly the way i imagined adam freckly. confused? good.

• also my brain associated him with a dark purple. idk why again. it just. it feels right.

• i feeeel like he'd have too many piercings but can't get away with half of them because damn private schools

• fuzzy head. like a kiwi. icr if he's meant to be skin tight shaved but my brain went to kiwi straight away regardless

• i just stuck to my own accent for him once i figured out he was irish. which if you must know,,, is a sometimes subtle and sometimes really unsubtle kildare accent. i doubt it's right but it works in my head

can you imagine the shock i felt shaving my head two or three days before my book came in the mail and found out ronan lynch exists. and he's irish too. bro. like mind blown. ok. i see. we are one ig maybe. idk let me read more books and report back.

i am aware there is the graphic novel (!!!) designs and stuff so i'm. waaaaaaaaay off but. let me have this i'm autistic abt these freaks

[koipalm]

I know the attendant!sy is a liushen fic but... I'm sorry, but my brain literally can't stop turning SQQ's and SY's relationship over a fire like a very juicy roast. Not even in a slash way just... Like, a god tried to stuff Some Guy in his body, failed, made him a new one and SQQ's brilliant idea was to adopt him as an overworked TA/stray cat. The guy is from a different world entirely, knows just about everything about this world and hates his guts. He has a very good reason to hate his guts. That's fine tho, SQQ believes this is a perfectly normal reaction to him because he literally can't concieve someone NOT hating him. SY being grudgingly grateful is the highest level of regard SQQ is capable of tolerating/understanding. He hates his guts back and yet still takes care of him. He overworks him to the point everybody thinks SY is gonna drop dead any minute and thinks this is perfectly normal, that was how SQQ lived 90% of his life. This man should not be within hearing distance of a child and pounced on the opportunity to put a socially acceptable buffer between himself and his disciples. Tearing his limbs off wouldn't be enough to admit he cares one iota about SY and yet he's probably planning ten different ways to discreetly poison LQG if he so much as looks at SY. This is probably the best relationship (non-romantic or otherwise) SQQ has in his life rn and if that doesn't terrify everyone who hears about it then I don't know what does.

Just. Slowly turning all this over a firepit in my brain.

ive tried to write like 5 different replies to this and theyre all incoherent AUGHHH anyway lets just get into it

one of the most interesting things that i wanted to explore in this au was if sqq and sy had to exist in somewhat close proximity to each other. the truth of the situation is that sqq is actually a lot more lax about watching sy than shen yuan makes it out to be. in reality a lot of sqq's outward expression towards shen yuan is very blank or dismissive. sqq will only really step in if he thinks that someone is trying to take shen yuan away from him. but if shen yuan was in actual physical danger like a demonic beast or a roof caving in, sqq would not move to help him. AHHHH its hard to explain super clearly.

shen qingqiu sees shen yuan as something that is "his" in a more metaphysical sense. although the system could have torn his life apart and shen yuan could have ruined his image and stolen his place, that didnt happen, and instead, shen qingqiu was given essentially an ace-in-the-hole. shen yuan, to him, was almost divinely given, even if it was by divine fuck-up.

shen qingqiu would see shen yuan being in danger as basically natural selection though. he wouldnt keep someone around that couldnt handle themselves, so shen yuan has to get out of conflicts himself. if someones tries to take shen yuan from him though, thats pretty much interfering with the will of the gods, and trying to take someone from qing jing peak (his assistant specifically), so in that instance, shen qingqiu would step in

its interesting tho, shen qingqiu really does just see shen yuan as an assistant. a divinely ordained assistant, but still

[diaphin93]

- One key aspect of Edelgard reforms is not just doing change directly but also paving the way for other societal change to be made through suppressing institutions protecting the status quo and giving people the tools they need ( education, government position open to all, etc )... So outside of the reforms directly metionned in CF, what other societal change do you think she or her government will bring during her lifetime?

- If you had to make the "ideal" post CF government who in the cast would you pick? It can be based on ending ( like Manuela becoming prime minister ) or entirely be based on your interpretation

- If Edelgard/Hubert/Ferdinand were commoners, how do you think their life would be like?

- Do you have any analysis on Edelgard that is uncommon? What's your favorite line from her?

Oh, that are some interesting questions. Let me go into all of them one by one.

I assume many of the changes Edelgard implements will be gradual, as she and her government basically need to figure out modernity all by themselves, really only knowing the structures of the strict feudal caste system they grew up in. Like, many people cite Ferdinand having to come up with the concept of universal education for her, but the matter of fact is, this is an entire new and novel concept and one person can't figure out all by themself, though we know that noble inheritance is already abolished in the following generation. I would say structural reforms in Leicester and Faerghus would be big ones, putting them closer to the more bureaucratic centralized system that Adrestia seems to have, looking at the presence of ministries. Considering her already being on board with public education and wanting to reduce the political influence of the church, I could see her introducing state wellfare policies that take over the role that religious charity would have. One important one probably also would be to either reform the ministry of religious affairs into a proper ministry of justice, which it already acted as, or alternatively relocate most of its ressources to a new ministry of justice, as well as law reforms in the vein of Napoleons code civil, to ensure secular laws. As she is not an enemy of the faith itself but also seems rather desinterested in it, while expressing interest in improving foreign relations, I fully expect for her to either implement freedom of religion or, as a predecessor, a general policy of religious tolerance. There probably would be uniform laws for the three nations, while I also expect her to allow Duscur to either declare its independence or remain in the empire as an autonomous region, as we saw her doing with Brigid and with Kupala respectively. I could see similar policies to the former sreng regions in northern faerghus, to allow its original inhabitants to return and either become an autonomous region of the empire or reuinite with Sreng. Due to the roman inspiration of Adrestia, I think it would be interesting for her to introduce a senate, especially since it would be a buffer between the imperial ministries and the throne, but thats more headcanon. We have no ideas on how Edelgard feels about democratic reforms, so every pro and contra argument would be highly speculative. I think generally most of Edelgards reforms would be focussed on secularization and the abolition of noble inheritance structures, before she steps down and lets a worthy successor continue her reformist policies. We also don't know enough on the details of adrestian law and economy, to be sure of all kinds of reforms she could make, this would be a matter of headcanons and fanwork.

This might be a tadbit boring, but I don't really have much in terms of ideal visions for a potential government for Edelgard. I see the case for Ferdinand being the Prime Minister, due to his own character development and role in supporting Edelgards reforms in CF, but I personally also prefer Manuela as Prime Minister as it fits much better with the spirit of Edelgards reforms and policies, having an educated commoner in the highest ministerial office. In the end, Black Eagles House has the common shortcomings of all 3 Houses routes, that the majority of students are children of the high nobility, and alot of the positions we learn about are more filled to conclude their personal character arcs, like Ferdinand being prime minister or Caspar becoming Minister of Military Affairs. I guess for me, I would like Manuela to act as prime minister, while Ferdinand should be allowed to fully focus on his educational reforms through creating a new ministry of education. If they can be found and contracted, I think a sensible thing in the name of reconciliation would be for her to try and reach out to Seteth, with the offer of him becoming the minister of religious affair or either him or Flayn to be allowed, if they want, to start a new reformed Church of Seiros, so that they at the very least have the option to return home to Garreg Mach and live there peacefully, under the condition that they learn to work hand in hand with humans as their equals. Otherwise, I would guess that in case she survives either Mercedes or the eastern Bishop would make a fine minister of religious affairs. Duke Gerth already seems to be a sensible minister of foreign affairs, in case he is recruited or otherwise assumed to survive, Sylvain would make his most sensible successor. Generally, as it modernizes, Adrestia would need to establish more ministries overall. The ministry of the imperial household probably should be openly reformed into domestic intelligence for more transparency, as Hubert already fulfills this position. I think, again in case he survives, Lorenz would make a good minister of domestic affairs. But again, I don't have strong feelings on that one, as there really is a lack of more interesting choices. A priority would be for the ministries to offer mentorship to commoners who want to engage with the government.

Thats a tough one, as commoners still have class differences and there are nuances to that one too and their lifes would take entirely different directions with them forming different personalities if they were born under other circumstances. I mean, most of them. Hubert totally would become some underworld crime boss who reveals and takes care of corrupt nobility, lol. Basically some Yakuza with a sense of honor archetype, lol. But going for what would preserve their personalities and story beats, I see Ferdinand as somewhat a member of the upper class, possibly with his father being an ambitious merchant who tries to scheme his son into a better station in life, though I think he would go more into the direction of being a lawyer, he just seems to be this very enlightenment thinker law school graduate archetype if he wasn't a noble, befitting his high sense of justice and posh attitude. He totally would be in Garreg Mach due to a full scholarship and super proud of it, citing the careers of former winners of said scholarship. Edelgard is more tricky, though I would say, in her case she probably would be just some commoner who happened to have the Crest of Seiros, probably some illegitimate child who was never found, or the daughter of one whose crest skipped a few generations. I see her more of a humble upbringing in the scenario of her being a commoner, a peasant or the daughter of servants. I guess the later, as this would offer an excuse to why she was in the Kingdom and knew Dimitri, maybe her being a maid servant of the Arundel family. And naturally she would have been caught in the crest experiments of TWSITD still, if the goal is to preserve her overall story beats, and as the sole survivor become the adopted daughter of Lord Arundel, her still being determined to end the crest and nobility system, possible even more in this scenario, and using Thales connections to stage a coup against the Hresvelg Family. I see her still as the house leader of the Black Eagles, though her being of a commoner background her, she probably could be somewhat more strict and serious in her demeanor to integrate. Like, this entire scenario would be a compelling AU and I think I could make an entire blogpost based on it. Assuming all three are commoners, Hubert and Edelgards relationship would be very different. I think he would be still loyal to her, but he would be basically some enforcer she picked up as her retainer, so their interactions would be much more informal, acting more as partners in crime. Edelgard and Ferdinand would probably be even more rivalrous, Ferdinand possibly being jealous of her now and I see her and Dorothea being even more close. Those two are already very close, having it it off immediately obviously, considering how Dorothea is the only one in the BE cast she already seems to be close to at the start, so this relationship would just be stronger, them being two commoner girls among all these nobles, it would be an outlet for Edelgard to be her former commoner self more. I think she would be more distanced to her former classmates at the start, having to learn that nobles have their own issues and to empathize with them as well.

I don't think I have really much to add, especially since Captain Flash and others already analyzed many facets of her personality. As I mentioned, I interpret Dorothea and Edelgard as immediately having hit it off the moment they first met, like you know when you are in a new school and workplace and meet this one person who is your bestie at the end of the day? They seem already close friends from the beginning. I personally see her also valueing Hubert and Ferdinand in particular as two brother figures, Hubert being an older brother who takes care of her and she wishing they could be more informal with each other, while I think a part of her enjoys Ferdinands annoying attitude that allows her to be more childish as times, something she rarely can afford due to what happened to her. I think there is some importance in the relationship between Edelgard and Dimitri many overlook. Primarily, because Discourse embittered the fanbases of both characters to each other and if interpretations take place, it is mostly from a Dimitri centric place that interprets Edelgard less favorably. Even if she doesn't really remembers him, I think she values parts of his personality alot, his very straight forward and well intentioned attitude, though his somewhat naive and undetermined outlook on everything probably frustrates her as well. She obviously hates his vengeful personality, feeling appeled by his obsession to her, as she states herself, but its clear that she feels a great deal of empathy towards him. It is implied that she cries after he dies and the scene makes it clear, that no matter if she did or not, she at least felt like crying in this moment. Edelgard is strongly linked with symbolizing the future, while Dimitri thematically represents the past, his arc being all about how the ghosts of the past haunt him. I think from an Edelgard centric standpoint, Dimitri represents her past, that has been twisted and corrupted by Thales, becoming a source of pain and anguish to her.

But so far, thats all. I hope I could answer your questions in a satisfying way and feel free to send me more asks, this one was fun.

[eggsploded]

HOMESTUCK AND STAR TREK? :O

oh baby this posts gonna be long

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

HS: aradia and sollux. aradia is my favorite forever as my patron troll and sollux is just fun to draw because whys he look like that

ST: all the cardassians in general. garak is the best, im honestly more fascinated with andrew robinson himself and his dedication to the character. also damar who doesnt get much presence until later seasons and gets crushed by actually giving a fuck about his position. i took a shot of kanar (maple syrup) for his honor and it was agony.

dukat is excluded from this because he managed to curse the show into buffering on his face everytime i watched.

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

HS: probably the beta kids before playing sburb. theyre all just little kids and best friends forever and it makes me tear up- in pesterquest dave literally talks about jade like shes his girlfriend that goes to a different school. all the kids were more than eager to see eachother in person and it sucks that it happened under the circumstances of.. homestuck

i dont have cuteness aggression for them theyve been through enough :-(

ST: in TNG's the enemy geordi helps out this genuinely pitiful romulan dude thats shaking like a chihuahua and i felt so much for that guy i wish he came back

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

HS: i think people are finally past portraying kanaya as a nothingburger, it was kind of funny 10 years ago that people were falling into her flimsy veil of Perceived Normalcy, like she doesnt regularly bite her friends and wasnt unforgivably delulu about vriska when they were moirails.

truly underrated might be the felt? their designs tickle me

ST: damar? maybe hes got more content now idk. honorable mentions are: keiko obrien, worfs parents (my favorite tng ep), hugh, the cardassian scientists that hit on obrien that one time, lwaxana troi and keevan.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

HS: any of signless' crew. like. we got shafted so hard with the dancestors its crazy. in my wildest dreams psiioniic didnt get utterly crushed by the vast glub and somehow escaped at the ripe age of 2000 sweeps and is now overgrown and too old and ancient for his own good, squatting in solluxs hive. we didnt get much content about how signless did his recruiting- did he just do speeches and demonstrations? did he fuck nasty? i know for sure it wasnt the cringe dialogue they strapped kankri with. same goes for dolorosas life before she raised signless, she should be at the club.

ST: background vulcans. especially in TNG when they just stopped giving a fuck about them, thank god tuvok exists or i wouldve had no incentive at all to actually watch part of VOY.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

HS: equius. its really a special day when a character cant be quantified with a simple archetype like the rest of the trolls. theres something so deeply strange and wrong with him that its captivating, i chalk it up to being the horse guy in a insect body.

hussie also just like, had it out for him at day one. gamzee got beaten to a pulp narratively but equius didnt even get a chance. its sad, and im more interested in what he couldve been rather than someone like eridan or meenah.

ST: kai winn. shes literally an alien white woman and its fantastic. she did her role so good that the poor actress got hatemail, and her insidiousness is just so well done. the final season of ds9 isnt that good but it was fun to see her go off the rails with dukat.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

HS: what do i look like? hussie? in truth when it comes to being a flop i like seeing kanaya flounder. shes weird guys. she is so fucking weird and she doesnt really know because her friends are Weirder. we dont always need her to slay, atleast in my book.

ST: riker. no further notes

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

HS: jake. if he has a deeper character i havent noticed because my eyes glaze over trying to read through this dialogue. he feels like a leftover shitpost character hussie couldnt fit on the dancestors. i havent reread act 6 yet, but i remember such a large chunk being some strange love triangle-square surrounding jake and i did Not Give a Fuck, and salt in the wound was dirk and janes friendship being so fantastic but overshadowed by jakes unceasing sex appeal cursing them.

ST: obrien because it was be a standard episode plot for him, i think hed come out fine

[littlefroginthegarden]

Sold to Heartsteel 1/24

its a liiiittle bit late but whatever... im trying to write an advents calendar fic, theres some buffer but ill write during the month so im also open to input if you have any good ideas :)

hope you enjoy!

Tags: semi-ironic adaptation of 'sold to one direction' trope so yeah theres obv selling involved, angst, fluff, friendship, romance, maybe smut, mlm, transmasc character, some transphobia but mostly just parents being shit but nothing explicit or slurs or stuff, yeah i think thats about it, ill update this if anything changes xoxo

Part 1

Hi, my name is Hwei and I’m a misunderstood artist. Well, that’s not exactly true. My Parents hate my art and they think it’s just a waste of time. But under the name DemonBrush I’m known all around the world, my art account just recently hit two million followers. Which didn’t help me at all in my real life. I’ve been 18 now for a few months but my parents still act like I’m 16. I haven’t finished school yet and I can’t move out because my anxiety has made working impossible so far. My parents don’t allow me to get therapy or meds and I’m on their insurance so there’s nothing I can do. I sigh and try to think about something else but looking out my small window into the dark December morning isn’t helping. I go and pull the curtains, turn on my fairy lights and sit at my small desk that is crammed between the bed and the heavy wooden dresser. 

My reflection stares at me in the mirror, dark shadows under my amethyst eyes, a sign that I slept terribly, once again. The nightmares wouldn’t leave me alone. I sigh and start doing my makeup, nothing bright, just some smudged dark eyeshadow and black eyeliner on my waterline. My mom was probably gonna complain again but I don’t care. Last week she told me “People might think you’re gay!” Yeah, sure mom. I mean, why do you think I have all these Heartsteel posters hanging in my room? Because I love their one song so much? But when she says "gay" she means "lesbian". She would have an aneurysm if I tried to explain to her that I’m trans. And then she would probably throw me out. As if she could read my thoughts, I hear her shouting from downstairs “Come down immediately, Hwa! I can hear that you’re up.”

Ugh.

I throw on a black oversized hoodie that matches my skinny jeans (also black) and put my dark juniper green hair in a messy bun before I run downstairs as quick as I can. Better not make mom wait, she’s awful enough as is.

When I enter the kitchen, I almost bump into a large man in a suit that is standing next to my mom.

“Oh fuck, sorry!” I quickly say, getting a death stare from my mom but for once she doesn’t even berate me for swearing. She just looks between me and this dude, who was wearing dark sunglasses (in December!) for some fucking reason.

“Who is this?” I ask after a few moments of awkward silence.

“My name is Mr. Mundo, nice to meet you, Hwa.” His voice fits his impressive stature perfectly.

My mother steps forward and puts her hand on my shoulder, looking at me more seriously than I have ever seen her. “You know that we haven’t had the easiest time since dad lost his job. And since you refuse to work and pay your share, we had no other choice.”

“What do you mean? What choice?” I ask, slowly starting to panic.

“You’ll go with Mr. Mundo, he has a job for you where you’ll work for six months. You’ll get a room and food and the money goes to pay back all the debt you owe us.”

“Debt? What do I owe you?”

“Darling, you've been living and eating here for free for 18 years!”

“This is insane!” I yell at her. “You’re selling me? You are a monster!”

“Selling? It’s just temporary honey, and it’s a decent job, don’t make it sound worse than it is!”

“You can’t do that, I’m an adult, you can’t force me!” At this point I’m full on panicking. This can’t be happening, it should just be another nightmare. But I know it’s real. My nightmares are way different.

“You are right and nobody is forcing you. But think about this, it would give you the perfect opportunity to get some good job experiences while at the same time helping out your family! Also –” she adds “if you don’t take this offer then you’ll have to pack your bags, we can’t pay for you any longer.”

“If you stayed off the booze you could.” I press through my teeth, anger winning over panic.

She just ignores it and tells me “Please Honey, think about it. If you go with Mr. Mundo at least you’ll have a roof and food. We just want what’s best for you! You’ll thank us in a few years, mark my words.” With this she turns around and leaves me alone in the kitchen with this absolute hunk of a man.

“Go pack your stuff, we leave in an hour.” He hands me a big suitcase before sinking down onto the washed-out red leather couch in the living room, turning the TV on, unfazed by all of this as if it was his daily job. Which it probably was.

Still in shock, I go back to my room and just stare at the mirror for a solid minute. I still haven’t processed what just happened but I start throwing my most important stuff into the suitcase. I have a lot of clothes but most of them are from my parents and I hate wearing them. So it’s not too difficult to fit all my favorite pieces into the suitcase, some skinny jeans, flowy tops and hoodies and of course accessories, I can’t leave my choker collection here. Then I go to my bed and from under the mattress I pull my binder. I put it under all the other things so it won’t be visible if my mom checks my suitcase. She would freak out. I gather the rest of the stuff, making sure I have my laptop, makeup and favorite books, and check the time. I still have 15 minutes left but at this point, the quicker I’m gone the better. I grab the heavy suitcase and try to carry it down the stairs. Two steps in I nearly slip and the suitcase crashes onto the step with a loud Thud. Before I’m even up I can hear heavy steps on the stairs.

Mr. Mundo grabs the suitcase without saying a word and carries it down. I awkwardly follow him, hoping my mom is distracted and hasn’t noticed the commotion. For once I seem to be lucky, she’s nowhere to be seen. At the door, Mr. Mundo turns around and asks me “Are you sure that you have everything? You won’t be able to come back here anytime soon.”

“Yeah I’m not planning on doing that anyways. Can we go?” I ask impatiently.

He doesn’t answer and just opens the door and walks down the driveway towards the black car with darkened windows that is waiting at the end of it. He puts my suitcase in the back of it with ease and opens the door in the back, gesturing for me to get in. I hesitate for a second, but when I can hear the front door of the house open again, I quickly get in before I can hear whatever my mother wants to tell me. He slams the door behind me and gets into the driver’s seat, which I can’t even see from back here because there’s a divider between the front and the back of the car. Like in a limousine. Or a cop car. It feels more like the latter, like I’m a prisoner.

The car rumbles to life and even though the windows are heavily tinted, I can see the shadows of trees racing past us. Where are we going?

[girlypopastro]

taurus rising is social houses in water signs.

they have a generous heart for their community. generally as no boundaries as a taurus gets. they love to hear everybody out. the weirdo, the antihero, the mean girl. they do not mind having people of all different paths in various social circles. but you might notice they are slippery. the slip in and out of all these circles easily adapting to each, collecting stories, collecting wisdom from all these people. effervescent ephemeral. that does not mean that anything goes in their little communities. they are open to all life paths as long as you don’t have your values all wrong. as long as they feel like you have a good heart they will let a lot slide. at the end of the day .. whats not their monkey, thats not their circus. they know what they think its the truth.

but make no mistake. just because they would invite you for dinner, introduce you to their acquaintance they feel like you would get along with great, invite you to their get together of all these lovable weirdos or wouldn’t let you sleep outside in the freezing cold … doesn’t mean they feel like you get to know them like that. you might even notice the closer you get to them the more enclosed they become. if they feel like you are a friend of a friend .. off they go blabbering on about their dreams and ideas, feelings and impressions. but if you’re going to be in their day to day .. oh boy, they put their big kid shell on and you might noticed them waiting to see if they can invest in you. they will gladly take care of you or help you. they will love it if you open up emotionally to them. just with them opening up to you might take some time and be indirect. because once you’re in you’re in and taken care of. they might actually be mad if you take their caregiver spotlight. in that vain they might be the one turning into a huge baby

you may have noticed this resistance to one on one hang outs. and maybe they are the one person who is really picky with people they date (really nitpicky and critical if you will). they might be scrambling to look for buffer people to have on these one on one hangouts. they might indeed fear that you won’t be talking enough and they might reveal more about themselves than they are comfortable with. it’s not this desire to be mysterious, it’s out of fear of getting vulnerable and you leaving them. they know that people are unstable points in their lives and they are trying to protect themselves from getting attached. because once you are theirs you are THEIRS and you no longer have a say in that matter . if a taurus rising likes spending time with you one on one, just know that you are special. with most people they probably feel a little on edge, a little paranoid, they are censoring themselves. or silently listening collecting all the information on that other person. if their avoidant ass doesnt run for the hills when they feel attached to you, they will make it a point to understand you, you will occupy their mind to the point of not having to say anything for them to know. possibly years of restricted vulnerability will be unleashed on you in a way that is deeply transformative to them, and you know they hate change more than anything. they will grow to someone who is fit for merging your two souls into one. just so you know they are terrified of abandonment and they might get very possessive and obsessive if they feel you slipping from them and tighten their grip on you even if they have to metaphorically strangle you. and if you do indeed make them feel abandoned, you will have created a stubborn enemy for life. for they do hold grudges like it is their life purpose.

and for you my taurus rising, people much like plants need space, water and air to grow, to live. i know you are afraid, my baby. you need to loosen your grip a little. i know you need to go at your own pace and other people do too, so do not rush them and if they are rushing you, let them go. let go. let go of grudges. let go of resentment. let go of entitlement. and stop giving people the damn silent treatment. love will never be perfect the way you want it. people won’t behave in the exact ways you want them to. especially if you shut down and go into your intricate schemes and paranoid ideations to make them. the only think you can control is yourself. so let go.. wont it be way more comfortable this way??

[skitskatdacat63]

Not be screaming Insanely to you about strollonso again but I have thots. Thinkings. And yeah.

So like I love how everyone expected them to not get well w each other yk like people THOUGHT they would be on each others throats, and nando would commit warcrimes against lance etc etc(Especially after last years Austin incident yeahh....)WHILE they were actually ALREADY on good terms in 2021(the recent gifs that showed lance being like a teenager w crush ykyky)(plus I do remember photos of them interacting just casually) and before that yk when nando congratulated lance on his first podium in baku(which I'll never get out of my head gladly)

And like NOW they are also so well w each other ESPECIALLY now that they are teammates. And its NICE and they are COMFY plus WHAT HAPPENED IM BAHRAIN OFC. And now wih nando casually making lance photos..they are so comfortable. Like aughh.

Thats all I guess please add anything you have in mind aswell 😭😭

Well I think it's funny because, as you mentioned, one of the only pre-2023 moments of strollonso I remember distinctly is when they had the collision during the US gp 😭 and I feel like everyone saw that and were like "oh god Nando is gonna kill him when they're teammates", and then a similar situation kinda happened again at the very first gp when Lance hit the back of Nando but when Nando found out, he's just like "okay :)"

I wonder though sometimes what they'd be like if the AMR23 was like the prev one. Because I do think Nando does actually like Lance, but also I don't think you can deny that Nando's podiums are indeed a buffer. Kinda like him being like "anything you can do to me is literally nothing because I have a great car and I'm doing better than I have in years", like bro is on top of the world after so long, and it feels like he's gotten a second wind where nothing can really touch him or bother him.

I hate how everyone uses that "Lance is the owner's son, so of course Fernando will treat him nicely" argument. Like yeah that's a factor, but I feel like I see it more as Nando appreciating Lance bcs he factors into why Nando has a good car and a good team in the first place. I think tho my fav strollonso plot line is Nando being like "ugh ill put up w him I guess", but then he ends up having such a good car and finds out in the process that Lance is more than he ever considered(like in this fic ) And also the narrative of Nando being a very different, supportive teammate as compared to most other Lance has had. I like that they probably came into being teammates with certain assumptions, but now look at how comfy they are with each other!! Enough to tease each other is such public ways, like Lance saying certain things in interviews and Nando with his socmed. It's very fun!

BUT YEAH OH MY GOD THAT CLIP OF THEM WITH LANCE BEING SO TOUCHY AND SHOVEY WITH HIM!!!! people need to look back at older clips like that and the others you mentioned before they make assumptions about why they are the way they are >:(

[hi-there-cake]

ok so @m3wllo asked me about my ocs. trust me guys im not going insane tumblr cant recover deleted drafts anyways. heres the gist of what was in that before before i in the true fashion of fate deleted it:

i was originally going to make an artwork for them but i realized it was just easier to tell you about them. also i dont know how to tell yuo this but whatever ocs i couldve conceived of in the past. weeks or years are all just vague concepts in my head not fully fleshed out. abyways

so first im thinking of a mysterious shopkeeper who has pretty rare and valuable items, im talking fairies, dragon parts, the most potent ingredients for elixrs and/or food, and with totk maybe even bombs or arrows. i dont want to have them sell elixrs outright because id want that for Another shopkeeper oc who sells (you guessed it) elixrs and food. that shopkeeper would also have a feature where they make custom food based on they players/links inputs/suggestions (like the custom tunes in ACNH). as far as im aware loz doesnt have many nonhylian shopkeepers, so to break stereotyping/tropes i think this shopkeeper would be a goron. in my concept sketches i rushed of them i thought about giving them a mask like in past entries! no idea what it would do besides add to the mystery, or what mask it would be of (in the art i made it an unnamed zonai mask) but i would still like to have masks with Actual Abilities in botw, even if its a pipe dream.

so yknow how botw has champions. what if. monster champion. botw or totk doesnt have friendly monsters like in past entries (well. they have Masks for it but it doesnt let you do anything besides have them not attack you. ycant even talk to them, which is what i mean here. they cant give you items or nothing) which is a shame because it wouldve been really cool to have!! so hypothetically, what if i were to retcon that and just add friendly monsters. secret monster village near skull lake or the breach of demise. while it would be funny for the champion to be a keese or something i personally think theyd be a lynel. with totk out they could also be a gleeok or one of the boss monsters (COLDGERA CHAMPION……. COULD YOU IMAGINE). this may or may not have come from an unnamed botw au i have but shh. also speaking of which what if lynels were fused with other animals. like yknow how theyre centaurs with horse(?????) genes? what if they had goat genes, or deer genes, or any genes of an animal within That Realm of Animal? giraffe genes. CAMEL GENES FOR THE GERUDO DESERT. this also came from that au

friendly yiga ocs. i would like friendly yiga ocs. by friendly i still meant they commit violent crimes its just not murder this time (i mean. if you hc hard enough you could argue that the yiga wouldnt actually murder you, but thats besides the point and also probably not canon. but who cares about canon.) they can either be all the way from 10000 yrs back or they can be in the current age! this is partly inspired by the pirates in castle in the sky. also i would also like to have yiga ocs of different races. like we know anyone can really join as we see a hylian asking to join, and link joins and is able to learn an earthquake technique, so its not just a sheikah thing. so if anyone can join then why dont we see other races in yiga outfits like zora or rito or gorons? are they just disguising themselves to look uniform?? i dont think thats how it works but im not going to ask! but yeah zora rito and goron yiga. the gerudo May be able to get into the yiga but its hard to tell. i feel like these yiga would be on friendly terms with both the yiga and the sheikah, kind of like an buffer(?) state between two states that are at war. neutral party. also theyd be really good with sheikah tech considering 10000 yrs ago they probably worked on it while they were banished. they could help link with a weakness in the divine beasts or smth, maybe link can help them with something i dont know i havent fleshed this out yet

this has totk spoilers so i’ll strike it. so zelda in totk turns herself into a dragon. now i have opinions on this, but thats not what youre here for youre here for ocs. so three dragons exist in totk and botw: farosh, dinraal, and naydra. its debatable whether they were people at first who swallowed their secret stones or if they were created by the goddess or something (in botw it might state they were created by the goddess but im not sure!), but for this im saying they were people at first who swallowed their secret stones. im basing their races off their flight paths in botw (in totk its changed so they go into chasms, but im assuming if there was no chasms this wouldnt be their normal route yknow? for some reason it shifted no idea why. also wow is that a sentence to say). dinraal flies from akkala, to behind death mountain, into the tanagar canyon. so by the logic im employing the could be a hylian, a goron, maybe a korok?, or a rito. personally im going with a rito as i find that the most interesting considering they live in a snowy area, plus revali literally got dinraals horn as part of his trials of becoming the pilot for vah medoh (which is never mentioned in game besides when we do the trials. pain). naydra flies above the lanayru bay between zoras domain and kakariko village, as well as over the lanayru promenade, kinda like a long oval over the mountain and between the two villages. in totk it flies way closer to hateno village which is really cool symbolism for the inhabitants of that village if you ignore why they fly so close to their to begin with. anyways naydra could be a zora, a sheikah, or a hylian from hateno. honestly in my concept sketches i went for a zora but i like the idea of a hylian from hateno scaling mount lanayru in the moth unorthodox way possible. i think theyd have a bunch of colored cloths but thats off topic anyways onto farosh. farosh is the most varied, flying around lake hylia, the faron region, and surprisingly around the gerudo highlands. so farosh could be a gerudo, a hylian, or if this was Before totk i would say a zonai but. honestly im not entirely convinced the zonai/the people in faron arent the same people like. their architecture has Similarities but im really not convinced its the same architecture at All like. the ruins have more animalistic features and curves while the zonai architecture is more squareish/geometrical and theres only really Dragons present, no boars or owls. plus the lamps are different, the ruins have like standard lighting thats kinda square while the zonai have lights shaped like lotuses. it could be the ruins are just an earlier period for the zonai but like in lore they were close to Gods and descended from the heavens, with rauru and mineru being the last left on the surface. they werent originally from the surface so it couldnt have been an earlier period. and why wouldnt that architecture style stay if it Were the zonai? rauru was the king of hyrule, if the style originated from the surface then the king shouldve used it as thats where he was butbhe didnt! he wasnt even Close to faron, and the memories show the style of architecture on the islands being used for the kingdom so whats up with that? plus why wouldnt their architecture style carry over on the islands??? if it was an earlier period for the zonai that didnt originate from the surface itd be on the sky islands, and yet it isnt????? the sky islands are parts of the old hyrule, not built by the zonai who left the surface. so who built the ruins???? its possible that it was just an early concept for the zonai but nintendo scrapped it in favor for what we got, and yeah thats probably it, but im not taking that for an answer. the ruin-makers (or scrapped zonai) were either hylians (lurien village theorized to be descendants from the zonai as they can read the glyphs on the palamore ruins in botw + they have the zonai swirl mark on the houses, as well as the barbarian armour) or, if you wanted to make a theory on crack, you could say they were lynels and lynels and the current zonai-

-are related somehow (sorry the dash is because tumblr limited the words in the paragraph). this is because the barbarian armour looks a hell of a lot like a lynel’s gear, and its upgraded with lynel parts. so hypothetically. when i said i could make friendly monsters #real, this could hypothetically make lynels a viable option as a race, and as such farosh could be a lynel. so anyways :3 also in my architecture rant i forgor to mention that current day zonai architecture isnt painted or if it is barely and not with the colors past/scraped zonai use

also this is for mainly pre-cal, but zonai researchers!!!! botw only really shows zeldas fascination in the sheikah artifacts as a way to still help hyrule without her powers, but i kinda wish we got to see her geek out about other old ruins? like she goes to the ancient columns but only focuses on the shrine there, not the columns or what they mean (though. to be fair in not excited about My ancient history either. i am about other peoples ancient history though). and in totk we see her geek out about the zonai ruins, which is really great for her character!!! and considering it was a popular theory that the sheikah and the zonai worked together before totk came out i feel like either she or Someone else would be interested in it!! if zelda isnt then i would want link to be involved Somehow, as it was theorized that the sheikah represent wisdom the most and the zonai represented courage the most, and well zelda is the bearer of wisdom and studied sheikah tech, so link could theoretically be involved with the zonai somehow. (also i just want to do something with link mainly because i have the most fun playing with him like a kid plays with barbie dolls. but also i feel like zelda should have more character traits too yknow. who knows this could be a bonding experience for them). but yeah zonai researchers, distinct from sheikah researchers theyre close to losing their minds with what few data/info they have On the zonai (at least in botw). if they found a construct theyd lose their mind. theyd argue with sheikah researchers on why researching the zonai is important especially for the sheikah considering they Couldve worked together (before totk).

speaking of researchers, somebody (also pre-cal but can be after pre-cal) who studies malice, gloom, and/or monsters!! in botw they dont really know the enemy, which is kinda easy not to as calamity ganon is like a natural disaster. but i feel like they couldve tried yknow? monster extract already existed pre-cal (the recipe for monster cake in the castle), so either malice already existed then too Or somebody somehow discovered it through monsters. i feel like these researchers exist for the sole purpose to know more about ganon and why monsters specifically can get under the influence of malice (especially because in prior entires the zora were enemies too, though i dont know if its because they were under ganons influence or not, but if the zora Were under the influence at some point and got out of it during botw, itd be a good topic to research on who is and isnt vulnerable to malice)

id like ghost ocs too!! in totk we get poes but we dont have a physical form of them, and in the botw artbook we have concept art for a ghost!! plus like yknow the ruins of towns everywhere? imagine ghosts in all of them. imagine the destroyed decorations of the towns strayed about. imagine meeting aryll or links dad as a ghost. or on the brighter side imagine involved questlines with these ghosts, making recipes that were forgotten by time or retrieving something lost. GHOST ANIMALS NEAR SATORI. though i dont want to have too many ghosts tbh as, after playing totk, i have decided that i like botws emptiness compared to totk. im not joking here i swear not insane. when i say emptiness i literally mean having no side quests nothing to do just empty space. i like that about botw. i swear im fine.so anyways yeah. honestly ive been thinking more in world building terms for all of this

i dont know how to end this. welcum to my sick twisted mind

[dhdhhehdndbdbd]

continued journal from 5/23/24

started my internship. was expecting another mediocre, mind-draining miami gig but the people are actually quite diverse. a lot of students from UF, some georgia tech, some upenn, emory, even MIT. honestly, i dont know how i ended up in a room with those kind of people. oh wait... maybe bc i may match up to them. i couldve been in their spots as easily as they couldve been in mine. (maybe, thats what i like to hope). no, but seriously, it kind of does something to the self esteem to be surrounded by people who seem to be somewhat driven and smart in their lives. they go to good schools, they got an internship, they have projects and coding experince, things they'll actually do. do i belong in this room? thats the type of question that goes in my head. at the harvard conference, no, i didnt feel like i belonged in that room at all. all those smart asian girls with so much drive and ambition and much more self involved than i am. i am both simple and complex. i dont quite fit into that - but i think i do have a talent; i do have something. i dont know how far it can take me. i guess its as far as i wanna push myself.

i feel my drive to make the film wane, and it makes me sad, because i wanted to do that. i think just the last 3 days have been so draining i havent had mind to do anything else. i tidied up the kitchen at least, im gonna clean my room a bit, and maybe just chill. im at home tomorrow for work and it should be easy stuff so itll be fine.

a strange place im in. i wonder what to do. am i doing right? am i doing wrong? (no, i dont think so). emotions are meh. still not fully happy and clear. still some lingers of the past.

ill be leaving soon enough... but this year has been kinder, so far. maybe because, partially, i made those decisions for myself. yes, i got lucky that i got the dorms; but im the one who applied and sat through an hour of buffering screens when applications opened. yes, i went to italy, it was lovely - but im the one who worked and saved, found the program, applied asap, did everything i could, paid for myself. yes, i had a boyfriend, but i searched an app for a guy who was maybe a little bit of a loser and would probably treat me right - i got flowers and gifts and love for the first time in a while. though i didnt reciprocate it, knowing that was still possible was nice. my brain has already shifted to looking for others but i know its too soon, its only been a month since we broke up. i still think about him but i just realized, probably only once or twice a day. for a boyfriend i just broke up? jesus, thats not a lot. yes i grieved but the lack of it shows me that maybe i was right to end it. am i right for wanting it to start again in the fall? maybe you should just leave that boy alone...

[spot-of-tea]

I've been writing

so I've got some fics that I've been writing recently and while it's slow going I've managed to hit one and a half chapters for the one I'm mainly writing right now, my hope is that I'll be able to put it up on AO3 when I've got a big enough buffer since I do have the whole fic planned out, so the outline is completely finished. It's just writing the bugger now.

I'm probably gonna post some world building from the fic here as the general idea is that it's a next gen style fic. I suppose the best part about this is that it leaves a lot of room for future fics in the same au focusing on different characters and events which take place outside of the original fic.

The other fic I'm working on is turning out to be an absolute beast and while I have a few chapters done I'm waiting to finish the outline (which I'm actually really enjoying writing atm) before really getting into the meat of it, so thats gonna take much longer.

I am taking this creative process super slow and only doing it when I feel like it so that I can enjoy the process as I enjoy writing and don't want to get burned out on it by turning it into a chore.

[zirconiumpants]

to my knowledge, the inability to mix perfect mathematically rendered spheres and regular polygon geometry comes down to the architecture of graphics cards that started way back at the dawn of computer graphics. you CAN get a computer to render perfect spheres (or more accurately you can get *software* on a computer to render perfect spheres. something like a CAD software. but once it gets passed to the gpu for hardware rendering it gets changed) with something like vector graphics or Nurbs (Non-Uniform Rational B-Splines), because both of those use mathematical functions to represent planes/surfaces. thing is, 3D graphics for like games and stuff usually run on OpenGL or DirectX and those specifically are built to take in a massively long list of point coordinates and then they use those to make triangles in a certain order and then all those tiny triangles make up one bigger 3D model (even Nurbs models, when they get ported into a 3D renderer like one of those, they get converted into a polygon object, they don't stay as a mathematical curve object...). and thats fast. We've been doing it that way forever and gotten it so fast that computers can draw millions of points 60+ times a second. and im pretty sure that if we tried to mix vector graphics into the process you'd end up with not inconsequential hiccups in the frame rates (not to mention it would probably be monumentally complicated to get those two disparate 3D objects to intersect. 3D graphics use a thing called a z-buffer to know what things are in front of other things and if you need to know where the polygon object is vs where the vector object is in space and how to properly render them over each other... idk how you mesh that with current z-buffer technology)

there were games in the past that were all 100% vector graphics, that due to hardware limitations they weren't rendering perfect circles, they were still rather jagged, but they were fast because the cpu wasn't having to deal with rendering sprites or models, it was just all math. But now a days, when i try looking up how to make modern vector graphic games, they still tend to start with you making regular polygon 3D models to port into the vector graphics (so still no perfect circles there)

its really just a thing of like, the way we do it now is Fast and its "good enough" that we haven't found a need to do it any differently. you can fake it well enough with a ton of teeny tiny triangles and a normal map that most people can't even tell that its not a "true sphere", the lay person will never know...

why can't we render spheres in traditional rasterized graphics? like why do games still have to approximate a sphere with polygons? shouldn't sphere intersections and everything be simple? shouldn't it be easy to add a mathematical sphere into a scene and render it intersecting/overlapping with triangles?

[littleraccon]

discussion about ispins warpath and bakal fame

Hawks — 12/14/2022 8:47 PM also why do people sayin ispins fusions give "a ton of fame" but it looks like ach fusion is like 300 fame? 🥇Dr. Rojaz(Banned) — 12/14/2022 8:47 PM 250~ give or take Gayitama — 12/14/2022 8:47 PM 275 🥇Dr. Rojaz(Banned) — 12/14/2022 8:47 PM That Hawks — 12/14/2022 8:47 PM even less Gayitama — 12/14/2022 8:47 PM Also hawks Hawks — 12/14/2022 8:47 PM option levels i assume? Gayitama — 12/14/2022 8:48 PM You're prob talking to people where feeding gear gives like 10-20 fame at best LMAO Hawks — 12/14/2022 8:48 PM lol 🥇Dr. Rojaz(Banned) — 12/14/2022 8:48 PM All three fusions combined give 825 fame Gayitama — 12/14/2022 8:48 PM 275 is massive in comparison LMAO 🥇Dr. Rojaz(Banned) — 12/14/2022 8:48 PM Which is a pretty substantial amount Gayitama — 12/14/2022 8:48 PM Yeah Mirackle — 12/14/2022 8:59 PM Idk how ppl run a whole ass dungeon for 10 fame out of thousands Hawks — 12/14/2022 9:01 PM wym which dungeon for 10 fame Kelly — 12/14/2022 9:15 PM if you're trying to push to olvl 80 each full feed even on olvl 70~ drops is like +20/30 fame at best lmaoe same from 60 to 70 etc Mirackle — 12/14/2022 9:21 PM Yeah, you often get useless pieces since the min olvl is too low Was hoping warpath would be enough for bakal, but 60-65 won't be sufficient equipment fame for bakal jumpy guy — 12/14/2022 9:28 PM no choice but to grind for warpath fusions for a few months i guess :worrydead: Mirackle — 12/14/2022 9:30 PM Would probably need an extended time between warpath and bakal Bakal appears to want around olv 70 Right now best is min olv 48 It's ridiculous jumpy guy — 12/14/2022 9:31 PM yeah it's gonna be a while.. imagine the sader drought when bakal releases :monkaHmm: Mirackle — 12/14/2022 9:33 PM It's going to be a disaster unless our neople to fix it Does something significant I don't understand why yoon fucked up progression this badly. It's clear he didn't actually calculate if the fame requirements were reasonable given the olvs of the rewards given Some can funnel main to 40k, but multiple characters though? Most people are D mains Currently the plan appears get everything into warpath week 1 and pray to rngesus it's ready by raid jumpy guy — 12/14/2022 9:45 PM thats my plan 🙂 Mirackle — 12/14/2022 9:50 PM Mine too, it's going ok for DPS My buffers are struggling because everything I've attempted hasn't worked They'll prob be needed for WP statics so it'll be okay i guess if i can get them to ispins