#my moms also dealing with him
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yeah so this was insane
#i feel like too many people reduce this interaction to jason being like ‘lol same’#but idk :/#this chapter is from jason’s pov#and leading up to it he’s like ‘people keep walking on eggshells around me bc of the the michael varus stab wound’#and he hates it so when he goes on deck to help out with the storm#everyone’s like wtf except for percy#and jason states how much he appreciated percy not treating him like a sick kid#and i feel like it’s echoed in this sentiment where jason could say so many things like#‘you should never feel that way’ ‘im here if you need anything’#but he doesn’t make percy feel alone in his desire to just…. end it all#which ik for some people that doesn’t work but you’re not a character in hoo and percy is dealing with so much guilt#and he can’t tell annabeth bc she’s a main aspect of that guilt#and he doesn’t wanna guilt her more and he feels ashamed and when he describes this he feels weird for feeling it#so having jason this tough guy be like ‘yo i understand it bc i felt the same way#that’s gotta mean a lot to percy#also insane how jason who also struggles to display vulnerability#allows it in one of few times in this moment just so percy this guy he’s supposed to be jealous about#feels comforted and not alone in his guilt and shame#and also it’s just insane how jason’s wanting to kay em ess does not get talked about AT ALL#and just seeing his mom and the pressure of new rome getting to him#like this scene is insane and i’ll never shut up about it#also ignore me i’m just finishing my reread of hoo that took all summer#jason grace#percy jackson#pjo#ashla.txt
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helping my dad constantly and footing the bill for at least half the stuff he needs now a days without warning
#personal#my moms also dealing with him#frankly more bc he lets me go to my room my mom if she’s home has to be in the same room or he totally freaks#she was slurring two nights ago begging for sleep and for me to stay with my dad when i came home from work#anyway i don’t know why but he agreeded to several things we NEED to do but he usually fights tooth and nail about#i’m gonna roll with it and also my mom is taking him on a trip tomorrow out of state for some shit we need#and oh boy barely got out of doing that. thank fucking christ#wishing them both the best and to get home safely but holy shit i don’t have to go too#tomorrow and some of friday since i assume they might still be out or sleeping. will be so sexy#today was. a little rough on wake up bc my mom had to call me to help dad out the closet#i rush out of my room dude got it handled#help him with some shit go back to bed#wake up to dad yelling for me bc he can’t find his pain meds#find them for him help him some shit get dressed go with my day#but yeah those random wake ups are a little rough and i guess i’m sayin good bye to sleeping in work day or not#it’s no one’s fault but this situation honestly sucks#it genuinely sucks and i resent this situation and my life#it is what it is and i’m gonna find joy in the situation but it genuinely sucks#and then i can’t think about for my brothers this is like.#in theory something that is happening but they don’t understand any of it#they get to forget and go to work and go home and eat but my mom and i are juggling life bills and my dad#like today i was literally shitting and had to run out bc he dropped some stuff on accident bc hoarder house and blind man#it’s not exactly their fault#either i mean frankie is no contact so don’t expect that of him and ben is in another state#logically neither of them could help but i still feel a bit of resentment none the less#you can logic the whole situation six days to sunday and really it still just sucks#that’s all it is and not much anyone can do about it at the moment
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The doors to Olympus are sturdy and strong, given everyone's preferences for drama and slamming said doors open and sending them cracking into the wall whenever the opportunity arises. Which is why it's a surprise when they creak open during the once-a-decade pantheon meeting; less so because no entity worth their salt would take so long to open the doors, and more so because everyone who is anyone is already there.
But if everyone is being honest with themselves- which no one is, usually- these gatherings are boring enough that the bland conversation is dropped immediately in favour of craning their necks to catch a glimpse of whatever is coming to relieve them of their boredom.
When the doors finally open however, several of the pantheon murmur in surprise.
"Odysseus," Athena whispers, wide-eyed as she pushes herself off her throne to her feet. It is him- in the king's garb he was buried in but the face he has when he reached home, hair till the shoulders and speckled with grey, face oddly blank. His feet are transparent.
"What are you doing here, sceptre?" Poseidon booms, hair the color of a stormy sea. Zeus, beside him, looks reserved, observing the ghost with something approaching curiosity- eyes flicking to the lightning scars on his daughter's face and back. "Your time has long passed, and Hades-"
"It is a temporary agreement," Odysseus says curtly, barely sparing him a glance as he approaches his patron. "Athena."
Her armour clinks as she steps forward and the gods all twitch, trading glances. Owls are silent creatures- to have her aspect so affected to make noise was... uneasy to say the least. She even holds herself different than usual, something like confused delight shining in her eyes. "How did you-"
"Did you sleep with my wife?"
The throne room is silent. Several jaws drop.
Athena straightens back up, blinking in surprise. She looks a bit shifty, some of the nymphs closest whisper to each other, which- well, almost every single god present owed some part of their existence to the mere story of Odysseus loving his wife.
Would he fight his own patron goddess over it in front of Mount Olympus, though? He certainly was unbalanced enough; Athena herself looked rather uncertain of her odds, even though-
"Are you addled in death, King of Ithaka?" Artemis drawls, looking amused. "Did you forget that your own patron is celibate? Whatever rumor you-"
"No, I-" Athena says suddenly, shifting her spear to her other hand. "I did."
Artemis chokes on her breath and several assorted divine beings gasp in shock and the rest shouting for explanations, although everyone is nearly drowned out by Aphrodite's loud, "WHAT?"
Odysseus inhales sharply and pinches the bridge of his nose. "I cannot believe you."
"She asked-" Athena starts, only to be drowned out by the din of various beings screeching and shouting about the scandal.
"ATHENA!" Hera hisses, peacock tail fanning behind her sharply as she pushes herself up. "Explain yourself!"
Athena half-turns to face her, face creased in a frown. "Mother, I-"
"LET ME REPHRASE!" Odysseus cuts in loudly, and the shouting settles down into silence. He walks to his patron, eyes blazing. "I cannot believe," he throws his clenched fists wide as he growls the last word, "-you took Penelope to bed-" Athena surprisingly stays still as he reaches her, mouth falling open as he grabs her by the chiton to yank her down, uncaring of the gasps of horror from all around as he snarls, "-before you ever kissed me."
And then Odysseus grabs Athena by the face roughly and kisses her.
This time Aphrodite's shriek cannot be escaped by anyone.
"Aphrodite, please," Zeus says a few moments later, wincing as his throne reforms around him, stained oddly pink. Quite a few minor entities have discorporated, and the ones nearest to her are still trying to regenerate their hearing. "Control yourself."
Their eyes land back on where Athena has dropped her spear- dropped her spear, Ares in the corner seems to be having some minor hysteria over this, well warranted- and is also on the floor, still being thoroughly kissed by that insufferable, mannerless hero of hers, perched on her stomach to reach. Zeus inhales in fury, Poseidon close behind him as the shock wears off, lightning crackling around his fingers as he opens his mouth to shout- of all the indignities-
"If you two ruin this for me," Aphrodite thunders, warping in front of them and glaring. "I will make you both regret it."
Both gods visibly blanch at the threat, taken aback for one brief moment. Threats from Aphrodite are far worse than any of her more violent siblings, at the end of the day.
Zeus visibly gathers himself just as Athena's helmet clatters to the floor, and he gains a second wind immediately, eye twitching as he spreads a hand to the spectacle in the middle of the hall. "WHAT MANNER OF DISRESPECT IS THIS? TO BARGE INTO OUR MEETING AND THROW ONE OF THE OLDEST GODDESSES TO THE FLOOR LIKE A COMMON WENCH-"
"Zeus," Hera says quietly. Everyone falls silent, although it's not quite enough to stop the two tangled together on the ground. She clears her throat, which finally seems to get through to Athena, who had finally seemed to have gotten over her shock enough to reach out, hands hovering over Odysseus hesitantly. Still, at the noise she seems to remember herself, pushing herself up on an elbow and dislodging him enough to break their necking. He pouts at her, but Athena's eyes are too glazed over to notice, heaving for breath.
Hera opens her mouth to speak, crown manifesting on her brow as she steps in front of the throne, but closes it as the door rattles again.
This time, the spectre shimmers with a faint hint of scales that comes with a freshwater nymph's heritage and excited whispers starved for drama explode across the room as the Queen of Ithaka steps into the room, skirts hitched in her hand and panting as if she'd been running.
"Your Graces," She bows respectfully before entering, Spartan princess through and through, until she catches sight of her husband and Athena, the former of whom seems to have taken the opportunity to start kissing the wisdom goddess again, fingers in her curls.
"What are you doing?" She snaps, rushing over. The entire courtroom holds its breath. She slaps her husband upside the head, making him yelp and move back to shoot her a betrayed look. Athena looks even further dazed than before, cheeks red. "Argos has more manners than you! No wonder Lady Athena wanted nothing to do with you- ah, hello, darling, by the way."
"Penelope," Athena murmurs hoarsely, and the Queen of Ithaka leans down to kiss her as well.
Odysseus chuckles, then jumps with everyone else as Hera slams a hand down on the throne elegantly, cracking it to the base.
"Ah, goddess-" He says, clambering off Athena to bow.
"Silence," Hera interrupts, holding up a hand, eyes cold. "You will not say anything to me apart from an explanation. My agreement for your release from Ogygia was due to the assurance that your marriage was one of the truest I have ever witnessed, conveyed by Athena herself when bartered with all of us to let you go. Tell me, was it a ploy? Because from the disgraceful looks of it, this seems to not be the case in the slightest."
Odysseus frowns, face twisting in confusion. "Athena bartered with...?" He turns to look at his patron, who stares back, unspeaking. His eyes flicker to the lightning scar over her right eye as Penelope traces it with horrified eyes and a gentle thumb, and understanding seems to dawn.
For a moment, rage seems to fill him, glaring with a hatred towards Zeus that everyone whispered later wasn't met by the god king with anger, but a flicker of remorse- before he visibly throws it away behind Athena's old smile and bows.
"God-queen," He says formally, gracefully. Hera twitches a bit, and they'll all talk later about how odd it was to so clearly see Athena's younger mannerisms in the man, down to the curl of the letters. "My marriage to Penelope has never been false, never been broken, this I promise you." He takes Penelope's hand and squeezes it for emphasis, and she raises them as acknowledgement. "But... can you not argue that Athena has been part of our marriage all this time? From its start, where she advised me on courting and her on what to look for, to the twenty years she spent with both of us- me on the battlefield and Penelope in the court; to say nothing of how she helped raise our son and lived in our palace in the days after. And is she not so unbearably beautiful that even my Penelope couldn't wait-" He shoots a glare at her, which Penelope returns with a smile. "-when the chance was presented? How can you fault us for disgrace, after being so long apart from our wife?"
Hera raises both eyebrows at the impudence, the kind of disbelieving expression that hides a warning to tread carefully. "So you claim to be both married to Pallas Athena?"
"In every way that matters except legality," Odysseus says, fearlessly. He is dead, after all, what much can you do to a shade that they didn't already put him through when alive. He is sort of worried about Athena, though, as they both help her back to her feet, Penelope busy whispering compliments and updates and endearments in turn- she's not usually one to be quiet in face of a problem.
Hera tilts her head. "Ah, but you see. I need the legality, if I am to finally-" A helpless, excited smile pulls at her lips once, twice, before unfolding into a bright grin, peacock tails unfolding to their full wingspan. "-finally arrange for a marriage for my eldest daughter who has not once- oh finally, I can hardly believe this day has come-"
"I do not like the way you grabbed her, Sacker of Troy," Ares steps forward as Hera starts ranting half to herself, half to an equally loud assemblage of joyful entities about wedding arrangements, eyes narrowed.
Odysseus barks an incredulous, loud laugh, gesturing to Athena with a slightly crazed look in his eyes. "This lady has broken- and I do not exaggerate- every single bone in my body before I saw my sixteenth year. I have punched her a hundred times in the face when she taught me how to fight. We'll survive, thanks."
"That is fair," Ares steps back, hands raised.
"What duties will you provide as spouses, Ithakan Queen?" Hestia questions, stepping forward.
"Oh, the same we did when we were living," Penelope huffs a laugh. "Keep her busy, make her laugh, be of mild frustration to her, love her well, worship her-"
"I do not. Need to know," Hestia closes her eyes and raises a hand to cut her off, stepping back. Around them, the din catches speed and volume as no further objections arise, excitement spilling into the air.
"What is happening?" Athena says faintly, looking around as if she was just waking up.
"-oh, and we can get out the decor once more! Hebe, Aphrodite, loves, do you remember where we kept the fountains-"
"-finally, a reason to celebrate! Call them all out of hiding-"
"-can't believe this is finally happening, oh sister, what songs should we-
"Why am I getting married," Athena says with much more alarm and horror. She turns to Odysseus and shakes him by the shoulder, eyes wild. "What did you do?"
"Nothing!"
"How is this nothing? Do you have any idea the headache-"
"Athena, sweetheart, will you consider changing into that beautiful piece you made for the ceremony?"
Creakily, she turns her head to Hera, disbelief pasted across her face. "Mother," She says slowly. "They are both dead."
"Oh, I'll make a deal with Hades or something, you hush!" Aphrodite leans forward and snaps, before her irritation melts back into a manic joy. "Oh, what paint shall we do?"
Paint, Athena mouths, looking afraid for possibly the first time since her conception.
Penelope laughs and tugs on Athena's hand to make her turn, tucking dishevelled curls behind her ear. She wonders if the goddess knows how beautiful she is when she's flustered. "Take us away," She whispers. On Athena's other side, Odysseus leans against their patron with a besotted, helpless smile as he stares up at her, her helmet and spear in hand. She'd missed Athena like a limb, missed her deep laugh at night when they'd discussed the day's court, the dry jokes, the hands over hers as she weaved- but Odysseus wasn't himself without her, happy though they were in Hades' lands together, all of them.
"I'm-" Athena wavers, then looks around once more at all the excited screaming, something unreadable flashing in her eyes. Almost against her will, her eyes fall to Zeus, who is sitting silently and staring back at her. Poseidon looks like he still wants to start a fight, but clearly by his wary looks below can tell he will be heavily outnumbered by the overexcited crowd to not try, but Zeus just stares back at her, face blank of any emotion.
"We ask you formally this time," King Odysseus says, walking in front of her to take her attention away, holding onto her hand. His voice has strength in it, drawing the eyes of the murmuring crowd, but he's deaf to it as he stares up at her.
"Will you be our wife?" Queen Penelope asks, joining him, watching their beautiful patron shudder for breath she does not need as her eyes flick to one of them and then the other.
"Yes," She whispers and cheers erupt all across Mount Olympus.
"Finally!" Odysseus complains, and then pulls her down once more to kiss her, all three of them fading at the edges as one of the generous gods present there- who seems to realize that they're not very inclined to stop anytime soon- thankfully teleports them away into a nice room with a large bed.
"Finally," He whispers as he breaks apart to lay her down, cupping her face, voice heavy with the longing of a full lifetime and more. Penelope circles to the head of the bed and starts undoing Athena's braid, staring at them both lovingly.
Later the ones closest will murmur, as the silhouettes faded away, that tears had slipped from proud Pallas Athena's eyes as she placed one hand against Odysseus' cheek, trembling.
"I missed you," She will whisper back, and all three of them fade away to their own story, yet to be made.
#sorry athena ur not immune to the “when will u get married” mom speech#anyways i believe in demisexual athena amen#epic the musical#odysseus#penelope#athena#odypen#you know the eyes w spirals in anime thats athena after being kissed by her bff within an inch of her life on a regular tuesday#hera#woman is on CLOUD NINE she will literally kill anyone who gets in her way this time. the wedding is gonna be great.#aphrodite#< also going crazy shes been trying to matchmake her sister for a thousand years now#ares#< extremely conflicted. has never felt protectiveness for athena before this moment . also he wants eye bleach.#hestia#“HOW WILL THEY MAKE A HOME IN THE UNDERWORLD WHAT HEARTH-”#zeus#athena hasn't spoken to him since god games.#also tbc pen Didnt know ody and athena were Not Like That. she was convinced day one that they were a package deal.#and the two of them had literally Never considered it even though it was the norm! but once he finds out that Penelope did ody casually#just like. figures out a way to get to mount olympus from hades and storm in to plant one on her#athena x odysseus x penelope#< ig?? whats the ship name#to anyone who sees this vision. join me.#odyath#penath#odypenath#my fic
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please remember that luke skywalker adopted rey and fin a few years after marrying din djarin and and opening his jedi school on mandalor with their green rat son.
#poe just like apeared on day and as a teen and begged to take the creed#never forget how lucas skywalker married the king of mandalor#lucas skywalker...#hehe#dinluke#din djarin#jedi can have attachments and the bond between so many of them in the prequels and clone wars is proof of that#if a normal person doesn't regulate their emotions they can become terrible and that applied to jedi#so if luke trains the kids to not be stupid shits then we can avoid sith lords#also kylo (ben) will begin training to take the creed when he is 11 becuase he thinks being a jedi is lame like his mom#ben also thinks that din is like the coolest fucking person and then he meets boba and hear about his dads time in cryo and is like:#yup that seals the deal give me my helmet#i miss finpoe so bad guys#and reys lesbian ass oh god i miss her#like booo the sequels but i love my gay ppl#luke skywalker#rey skywalker#finnpoe#finn#fuck what's his last name it's been a minute he doesn't actually have one what do we call him#grogu djarin#the way that we gave him dons last name HOLD ME#m rants in the tags
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so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-
but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again
(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)
i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)
weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward
but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.
right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#sorta#suicide attempt mention in the IRL stuff im talking about in the following tags btw#theres some construction stuff on our house going on#and my father is extremely stressed about it#he used to be very explosive- being silent and then exploding out of nowhere .. probably left me with lasting damage yippie-#but now he much more lets it eat at himself bc hes old and feels bad for the past stuff so now it makes him irritated and depressed#my older brother is the most normal cis straight guy you can imagine and incredibly impatient and bossy (you CANNOT talk with him)#(brother doesnt live in our house)#and while hes helping out hes doing it exactly how my father doesnt like and since you cant talk to the guy (explosive +200) it stresses hi#to the point of my father yesterday saying that “it would have been better if i had just died back in the day”#likely referring to the time when he was drafted for the military against his will and tried to kill himself#which i learned only like .. a year ago- theres so little my parents tell me ....#its like my mother telling me- while my father was in hospital for heart surgery- that she not only almost died back when i was a young tee#and only survived bc of some incredibly unebelievable lucky coincidences (medics on a travel being there that knew what she had-#-while our local doctors said welp- nothing we can do lady AND them beign there with a helicopter and emergency transferring her#to antoher bigger hospital while giving her immediate treatment our local one didnt do- AND at the big one just so happened to have-#-an expert on that illness in the facility when she arrived who was able to narrrowly save her life#BUT ALSO while she was recovering and weak and frail as a dust bunny witnessing someone stealing hospital surplies-#not noticing she was in the room at first (which .. the nurses left her in the nurse room while going on break ... which uhm .. yeah cool)#and if my mother hadnt acted in time like she was fully asleep and the lady stealing stuff beign in hurry- she might have killed her#without my mother being able to fight back bc she could barely even talk (the nurses didnt want to believe her when they got back either)#ANYWAY that comment from my father brough me to tears#and my mom is trying out more ... other medication shes not prescribed in hopes of it helping agaisnt her many pains#but i worry it will interact with the other stuff shes on ...#and i worry so much about both of their mental and physical well being#always trying to be the one to calm them down or help with communication bc that is a big problem in this houesehold#but i myself am also a very much not normal and not medicated shut in who has trouble dealing even with my own feelings
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Anders has inordinate amounts of annoying little brother energy, which is ironic considering the main person you see that dynamic unfold with is his ex-wife.
#like I am NOT saying they consider eachother siblings because just no#but that’s the vibe their relationship has to me#cause it’s not even a ‘wait a minute that’s my idiot’ sort of deal. because johanna wants nothing to do with him#if someone insulted him or he got hurt she’d point and laugh and she’d be right for it#they irritate eachother but they don’t HATE eachother ???#johanna doesn’t care about his opinion enough for him to genuinely get to her. she’s confident enough to keep him in line#idk if I’m describing this right but I have An Image of them in my head lol#hilda#hilda the series#netflix hilda#hilda netflix#anders Hilda#Hilda anders#johanna Hilda#Hilda Johanna#Hilda season 3 spoilers#hilda spoilers#hilda season 3#when I say little brother I mean like snot nosed 8 year old who keeps insisting that mom said he could play#also I like that we as a fandom kind of just decided Anders and johanna were married. even tho canon never stated that#for my purposes they had to have been an item bc of Lauren’s story#but canonically they could’ve been a really weird one night stand#but they have such divorcee energy that I don’t think I’ve ever seen that take lmao#textpost#blethering
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That fight had no right to make this emotional on a saturday evening (Whole Cake Island arc)
It’s the fact that, in many ways, it directly contrasted the Usopp-Luffy fight.
Usopp voluntarily left the crew and then challenged Luffy. He was completely and abundantly clear and honest about his intentions. So Luffy had no choice but to meet that determination with a true fight. He didn’t hesitate. He fought him, without regard to their difference in ability or friendship. Or more he fought him BECAUSE of their friendship.
But Sanji came to the fight hiding the truth.
He came to the fight with the intention of deceiving Luffy about his true feelings, his true motivations, and his reasons for fighting.
And Luffy knew that. Sanji was challenging him, and he would never backdown from that. But he wasn’t about to fight his friend knowing he didn’t actually want to fight.
So he can’t fight and he can’t leave. More to the point, leaving would mean he was taking Sanji’s word and abandoning him, when he KNOWS Sanji isn’t telling the truth.
So he stands his ground. He shows Sanji that he’s going to stay there until Sanji tells him the truth. It doesn’t matter how many times he kicks him. He says as much “I know it hurts you more”. He knows that Sanji is in pain with every kick and every blow.
Which is why Sanji is practically begging him to leave. Telling him over and over to go away. So that he can stop hurting his captain, the man who reinvigorated his dream, and the friend (or nakama may have the deeper nuance) whom he believes in absolutely. So he knows at least his crew and captain would be safe from the mess he has to deal with due to his biological family and the threat of a Yonko on his tail.
But he also knows how stubborn Luffy is. If Sanji can’t make him go, then knocking him out so he can leave him behind is the only option left. So he does. He pulls out one of, if not the strongest move in his arsenal and knocks him out.
Add insult to injury, Nami slaps him before he leaves. He couldn’t say a single harsh word to her. Could barely limit his interaction with her to a glare (which I posted about). She slaps him and lays down the only blow dealt in that whole duel, which adds extra impact to his betrayal. He couldn’t say a word in fear of her never ever forgiving him.
But with Luffy, he could get away with it. Putting aside his whole notion of chivalry, on a deeper level, he can say these things with a tiny kernel of subconscious hope within him.
It’s the fact that part of him knows Luffy can sense everything he’s feeling, even if he doesn’t know why, and feels safe enough to say those harsh words to Luffy. His overwhelming trust of Luffy stays strong somewhere deep in his subconscious, so even as he tries desperately to sever ties, he knows Luffy may one day forgive him.
And to confirm that. Luffy calls after him.
“I know you’re lying. I know you didn’t want to do that. I know you’re hurting more than I am. I still need you. You’re my cook. I can’t become Pirate King without you. I won’t leave without you. I won’t eat unless it’s your food! So make sure to come back!”
So, like me, Sanji can’t do anything but cry as they leave Luffy and Nami behind. Even as his conscious brain despairs at having betrayed his captain and crew, it’s extra bitter knowing Luffy still believes in him after all that.
#i’m emotional#how did y’all deal with this#I’ve finally reached the part of the story that was airing when I first started watching one piece from the beginning#like I’d seen the 4kids dub but 2013-2016 was my great anime era and so I started the OP journey around when Whole Cake first dropped#or midway through.#bc all the amvs we’re about Sanji vs Luffy and the shot of Sanji crying was in all of them#it’s confused me this whole time timeline wise#bc I knew about Luffy withering away to nothingness but I was also trying to figure how he defeats big mom#while staying in the spot he swore he would stay in#but apparently the fight is coming to him!#one piece#manga#anime#whole cake island#monkey d luffy#Sanji vs Luffy#Sanji
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Fuck all of y'all in Florida how dare you misrepresent my liberal king that man loves women (not in that way) and he would not STAND for this smh
#yk damn well he'd make the vague but absolutely not vague threats and then actually follow through on them#HE WOULD NOT MISS!!!!!!!#anyways this week has sucked so bad dear god#the cold I've had for a month has apparently been pneumonia#And I coughed so hard I TORE A FUCKING MUSCLE in my ribs and I could barely move for days and had to sleep in a recliner#also finally got diagnosed with adhd but found out all my old teachers told my mom they think I have it and I should get tested but NOOOOOOO#SHE DIDN'T WANT TO DEAL WITH IT#there literally couldn't have been a clearer sign than when I almost failed fourth grade because I couldn't turn in my homework on time#The election obviously my immediate family are full Kamala but my grandparents are VERY Trump#Oh and my brothers therapist told us he apparently has the most severe case of executive dysfunction he's seen in his 30 years of working#He literally told us to just take him out of college and let him live at home forever because he won't be able to finish school#because of it so THAT'S gonna be fun since my dad said if he ever tries to come live back here he'll throw him out on the streets#THIS IS JUST IN A WEEK#WHO IS MY OPP I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID BUT I DON'T DESERVE THIS FANFIC WRITER ASS LORE#LEAVE ME ALONE 😭#red vs blue#rvb#rooster teeth#rvb florida#election 2024
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resignation letter is the most potent painkiller. i love you resignation letter i love you one month notice <3
#tmi but im regular again and literally the only change is because i've been eating enough to shit daily#i was in such a bad headspace these past few months that i could barely bring myself to eat#i'd go to sleep with my work uniform still on and wake up willing myself to get up for 30 mins and then brushing my teeth and going to work#with the same clothes i slept in#i stopped hanging out with my friends. i had nightmares abt my job.#i can only take care of myself on my days' off and i cant grok anything other than shallow entertainment like wrestling#everything else is too much for my brain to handle. i'd simply forget everything i read or play or even listen to#those three months are miserable lmao#its not just my job... its also the family issues i've been dealing with#yknow remember when i said i could have died? yeah that shit was real. fuckin love it when my mom admit my dad have the capacity to be a#family annihilator. but... since my dad have a job to keep him busy and we moved to a house where me and my sister and#my mom and dad get to have our own rooms... and my dad get to live near his old friends and family...#things have been getting better. usually we had a physical fight every two months but it hasnt happened yet and i seem to get on with him#better now. so... i guess im gonna be okay. i've been so tired and trapped#stuck between two places that are both physically and emotionally draining with no reprieve#things are changing. and i find that to be comforting despite how up in the air the future might be. i might be screwed but also? what if#i'll be fine? im at a point where im accepting any drastic changes even if its for the worse#funny how i used to like my job a lot. i guess im not to be comfortable with anything long term#posts about my life
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i know too fucking much about qsmp badboyhalo.
#and also. not enough#that one big summary of his Deal was like . 1k words.#and it brushed over so much shit#like his trust issues and the vacation arc and his criminal background (on qsmp) and the way he was the first to take protecting the#eggs seriously and i dont even KNOW enough about his relationship with maxo and the french that is a big blindspot for me but bad and max#(and foolish?) og founders of the theory bros the first people who started questioning cucurucho and then the french his family the people#who keep proving to be on his side over and over and i love it when he hangs out with pierre and talks create#and when he chills with antoine and helps fix the big spinning ring#and his WEIRD warrior's bond with etoiles (bad always gets along with the protectors have you noticed that#forever was the second big egg protector and baghera took care of pomme from the start and cellbit threw himself to the feds to try to help#the island and etoiles took the weight of the code attacks from bad's shoulders to his own in entirety. he respects them all a lot and i am#chewing him to pieces)#and his relationship with baghera!!!! she can read him so so well and he fucking trusts her enough to be dapper's mom#he may have felt weird about it and was jealous and :c because tahts HIS dapper but#he didn't kill her about it#or really do anything to discourage it#and he noticed her tear streaks and her leg and got Worried about the federation 'fixing' her and#genuinely he was so so happy when he realized she was back he went !!! mode#look. LOOK at these fucking tags. look back at the post. i can Keep Talking.#my point remains i know too fucking much about qsmp badboyhalo#shit and i didn't even TALK about his weird bullshit with foolish#i need a giant corkboard
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AAAAA like honestly I really don’t care for tsugemina but I know they have a decent sized jp fanbase so I get the vol 12 sacrifice once again💔 but kurodachi as parents my God naina… I can see it so clearly like in my dream they’d be the sweetest most loving parents ever like in my dream it was weird cause it was little snippets? But I can just see it… adachi falling asleep with their baby girl already far into dreamland on his chest and kurosawa using every molecule of strength in his body not to start crying (53636 burst shots were taken), kurosawa buying matching pyjamas for all three of them (cherry print I’m sorry I’m a weak, weak person…), that classic moment of them laying together in bed ready to sleep, wedding photos framed prettily on the bedside, when all of a sudden the baby starts crying and they both make a move to get up but then one of them stops the other with a gentle hand with the ‘I’ve got it, rest yourself’ line oh I’m insane. Positively INSANE
ANON DO U HAVE ANY IDEA . HOW SEVERELY THIS ASK CHANGED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY.??? ive been thinking about ur scenarios all Day. i started thinking of whole ideas and hcs and everything head in hands i never knew krdc being parents could be this powerful...... im choosing to believe ur dreams are prophetic bc i need this to happen in canon so badly its not even funny . brb i need to send sensei a very tearful request letter
anyway thank u so much for this ask i drew u some la kurodadchi in return after taking some inspiration pls enjoy .......
#cherry magic#my art#my answer#IM THINKING SO MUCH IM GOING GALAXY BRAIN MODE!!!!!!!#likes theres already potential for a whole chara arc here im seeing it . my vision is Crystal Clear#smth smth adachi being good w kids on account of him being an older brother + just liking kids in general#meanwhile kurosawa doesnt like Hate kids or anything but he has no idea how to deal with them . also hes terrified of being a dad#going into hc territory here but i think a lot of kurosawas issues come from his moms expectations and anxieties abt his life#and he absolute Cannot deal with possibly turning out to be the same exact kind of parent . hence not wanting to be a dad at first#but after talking it through maybe he could see that he can actively work to be a better kind of parent and change his mind ......... Hehe#gonna be thinking abt this for the entire month now pls excuse me
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Summary break to ramble about some old IM AUs I had 2 years ago
So the first one is a Castle In The Sky AU, where Alice had a pendant she got from her grandmother to protect, but as she runs from Black Hat she runs into Holly, Bendy and Boris. Bendy works to help patch planes for their rather new boss, Felix. Since in this AU all of the characters are younger.
Holly's dad died years ago trying to find the Castle In The Sky he spotted. They find out that due to Holly being part Micco and the Pendant being created by the Micco only she can use it, and it works as a guide and key to the Castle in the Sky.
So Black Hat [I considered the Devil at some point maybe I'll go back to that Idk] is chasing them down, and then these pirates start hunting them down to. The pirates being Demi, Canni, Mugs, Cup and Cala is on their plane but she doesn't participate often. Demi is the Captain. She's in it to spite Black Hat for traumatizing her family. [Basically she takes up the role of Dolores from the actual movie]
They do NOT have a mechanic asides Mugs, whose 16 in this au, trying to do what he can for the ship but he's a PILOT not a mechanic. So Bendy and Felix come along and are like "HOW ARE YOU IN THE AIR??? THIS ISN'T SAFE WHAT! WHAT! ARE YOU CRAZY WOMAN!?" and have to patch the literal HOLES in the bottom of the ship. Bonus jokes of Cup having fallen out of the ship at least once.
[For an idea on how old the characters are: Bendy/Alice: 14, Cup: 19, Holly: 17, Felix can stay the same, Boris: 10, Cala/Mugs: 16, Demi and Canni are the same]
#orb ponders#the inky mystery#orb aus#Going back and forth with keeping the Bradleys on the ship#Just for the sake of Demi REALLY wanting Michael to fall out#Demi: Please 🙏🙏🙏 Let this idiot fall out of my ship 🙏🙏🙏 so I don't have to deal with him anymore 🙏🙏🙏#Canni flying out of the car as Demi drives crazy on train tracks: I'D LIKE TO BE INSIDE THE CAR NOW!!!!#Also Cup refuses to listen to Canni half the time but listens to his mom without question#I liked the hints that he's a mama's boy in IM so I took it and ran#Also tweaked the age gaps slightly#I did this SOLELY to explain Cup acting like a teen in this au#CITS au
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okay but step into the tinfoil hat factory with me for a sec…
we all know with Lilith and Alastor both being gone for seven years it’s obvious there’s some tie, right?
but what if that tie is Eve? hear me out now…
the way they talk about Alastor’s rapid rise in hell it gives the impression he’s quite good at picking off those higher up on the food chain than himself. it’s basically his whole personality and reputation. even the current bigwig overlords don’t fuck with him. (vox wishes)
now, obviously Lucifer is a fallen angel, so it’s very extremely unlikely any demon could take him on. and Charlie is… Charlie. nobody probably wants to fuck around and find out with that one. she’s too much of a gamble power-wise.
but Lilith was human; now just another demon. that’s a much easier target.
so if someone like Eve was looking to take a bite out of hells royals, Lilith would be the best pick.
and yes, we don’t know what happened with Eve after Luci and Lili’s stunt, but in this tin roofed house she’s still around somewhere hungry for vengeance of some sort.
so the theory is this: Eve’s looking to fuck shit up, takes stock of those powerful enough in hell and notices Alastor’s penchant for being That Bitch, enlists his help with a deal he can’t refuse (something something his mom in heaven something something in exchange keep Charlie too busy to get any ideas of actually going out looking for Lilith and don’t raise suspicion with Lucifer blah blah blah), so then they unalive Lilith, Eve somehow nerfs Alastor (see prev post about his sudden odd aversion to soul accumulation) so then he can’t get any funny ideas about killing her to get out of his deal, and then Eve is free to bask and relax while Alastor is stuck and out of luck.
plus based off the lore drop in episode 1 (granted it was just a silhouette) Eve likely looks a lot like Lilith. Lute just might be banking off that to trick Charlie. and then if Eve goes down to hell… well, would you look at that! what a lovely opportunity for our favorite radio guy to do something about his situation! possibly with the help of a certain princess with potential that he has a deal with…
obviously, this is all very out there- but if you squint, take a huge hit of something good, and bang your head against a wall to kill a few braincells it’s possible to see it I think.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin theory#hazbin charlie#hazbin eve#hazbin alastor#the actual timeline of seven years is the only real hiccup#but I imagine the lineup of Lilith and Alastor going ‘missing’ at the same time would be obvious#and then the subsequent time until Alastor reappears could be him either…#waiting for enough time to pass that Charlie is starting to think it’s weird her mom has been gone for so long#OR Alastor has been in the other rings of hell trying to find an out in his deal#this would also explain Alastor’s thing with Lucifer#not only did he start the thing with eve that lead him on this path#but then with her dad there is the risk Charlie will either want to reunite with both parents#or Lucifer will say something that makes Charlie suspicious that something happened#and we all know how Charlie is#I say that with only love in my heart I swear <3
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Was doing some thinking today and realized that one of the reasons I'm really drawn to Kieran is because he's a rare example of a character that's shy (and usually good-hearted) but still has some rougher edges to him.
I feel like all too often shy characters are shoved into being portrayed as either "smol bean who would never hurt anyone and just wants friends uwu" or "brooding loner who snaps at people to cover up the fact they don't actually know how to socialize" with not a lot of wiggle room in between. While I can and do enjoy characters that (arguably) fall into those respective categories, they're a bit reductive in the sense that things are very rarely that black and white in reality. Even the kindest people have a limit to what they can tolerate. They have bad days or respond poorly to events around them that cause them stress. And the same can be said in reverse as well—point being, people are multifaceted and don't always behave as predictably as we'd like to think.
And I think Kieran reflects that dichotomy perfectly. When we first meet him, he's meek, timid, and relies heavily on his more brash and forceful older sister to help him navigate social situations where he would otherwise lose out on something valuable because he's too afraid to come forward and ask for what he wants (like how she has to ask the player to battle him on his behalf). He's often quick to cower whenever she starts to get heated, but he's also not afraid to point out when he thinks she's wrong and sometimes even gets sassy with her himself. He's undeniably sweet and gentle and shows eagerness to make friends with the player, but he becomes much more curt when he notices we're lying to him about Ogerpon. The rest of the Teal Mask storyline shows him fluctuating even further—yelling at Carmine and the player for keeping secrets from him, punching things in fits of anger...then backpedaling and apologizing for the trouble he caused a few scenes later. Spreading the truth about Ogerpon to everyone in the village to help make her happy...then selfishly demanding a battle to see who's worthy of being her Trainer when she has already clearly chosen the player.
After being lied to and suffering repeated losses at our hands (including the Pokemon he's idolized all his life choosing us over him), he leans even more heavily into his bitter side during the Indigo Disk—being cold and ruthless to pretty much everyone around him, but at the end of the day it's primarily overcompensation for what he perceives as his own personal weakness (because he's still just a kid trying to be taken seriously). He's shown to drop the act on multiple occasions—most notably when he's caught off guard by our appearance at Blueberry Academy and at a few points during the Area Zero expedition. He antagonizes the player up until the moment of his defeat and tries to catch and use Terapagos in a last-ditch moment of desperation that ends up going horribly wrong, but after everything resolves he's quick to admit his mistakes and asks the player for forgiveness and if they can still be friends. After the epilogue he's mostly back to his old self, but still seems to get worked up when provoked (e.g. when he yells at Drayton for refusing to stop calling him "ex-Champ" in one of their League Club Room interactions).
And I think this varied and sometimes contradictory behavior is precisely why Kieran is such a cohesive and believable character—because it shows how even kind, well-meaning people may have a hidden darker side that can show itself under the right circumstances. How they might let their insecurities get the better of them. How a shy, timid kid might not have the experience to know how to deal with sudden feelings of frustration and/or jealousy that are far too strong to keep to himself, so he lashes out as a result. How despite all this he remains kind, sensitive and loving at his core and shows willingness to learn from his mistakes. And that is what makes him so compelling to me.
#mel's musings#kieran#pokemon#all this to say i now have brainrot and you all are going to suffer for it#me: *sees any pokemon boy with attitude problems* son? son boy? he my son boy? ;_;#kieran is also. oddly relatable to me in a way#in the sense that i was a neurodivergent kid whose overstimulation issues among other things weren't taken seriously#and it made me really bitter and angry at both the people who caused them & the people that didn't know how to deal with me#i lashed out a lot back then. i yelled and hit and said things i didn't mean and lied so i could stay in control#and while i still think i deserved better than the shit the adults who were responsible for me put me through#i do regret a lot of what i did. and i try to make up for it by being as patient as i can with others#ALSO. oc tangent time. kieran and denise are very similar in this regard#dena felt a lack of control w/ her dad leaving but couldn't blame him bc then she'd have nowhere to vent her anger#but she's also too young and too hurt to blame herself. so she lashes out at her mom instead (granted. jen made some poor choices too)#but after her treasure hunt and her first trip into area zero she sees things in a different light and is able to reconcile with her#and that's the exact reason she's able to forgive kieran so quickly. bc she had been through a similar thing with jen#i am filled with a whole WHIRLWIND of ideas for my au denise and this cast are a match made in HEAVEN#forest for the tree#mel plays scarvi
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Honestly k!Staxx and k!Quackity's dynamic was extremely underrated like yes they were mother and son but more importantly I firmly they would've casually sold each other to satan should the opportunity come up
#like they didn't hate each other in fact I think they enjoyed each others company well enough#but also they would screw each other over if it benefited themselves <333333 like most of the heroes tbh sadkadsasak-#shoutouts to Quackity serving as a lawyer against Staxx during the custody battle#and Staxx fighting on Luzu's side during the final battle against the rebels#like Iconic of them my favorite family 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍#I haven't read kv fics in awhile but my kstaxx pet peeve was them making him a super good generic caring mom to kQ#usually just there to be a supportive side character to whatever ship the fic is about#it's not a deal breaker (since it's hard to find staxx fics in general LOL) just a pet peeve lol#that's just not my baby girl sorry <3 sorry im in a kv mood rn#karmaland#karmaland v
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#zoe.txt#i’ve had a problem since high school where i Cannot sleep the night before a funeral#& i do genuinely wish there was like. a pin or something i could wear#that says ‘i promise i am not being distant & removed on purpose!’#‘my body anticipates funerals like a six year old anticipates christmas mornings!’#‘i have not slept in twenty four hours but i promise your condolences mean a lot!’#family is just so weirdddddddd like my dad’s my grandfather’s only living son#& given that my aunt is Very Much Estranged he and my cousin were the ones dealing with him towards the end#but my dad and him have had such a strained relationship so my DAD is mourning weird#and his side of the family is weird towards my mom and so I’M in a weird grey area & neither of my siblings came down for the funeral#even without the no sleep i should be allowed to react a little removed to my aunt’s histrionics 😭#i want to take a nap in the pews but i can’t & also it will be such a STRUGGLE not to get lulled by the rosary
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