#my mom is the reason i am this way

[isolationkitty]

[deoidesign]

Happy EDS awareness month!

I'm a webcomic artist with EDS. be aware.

EDS affects many parts of my life. I have chronic fatigue, chronic pain, and I need to use a cane! I often find myself ruminating on themes of chronic illness in my work, whether or not I am intending to include them.

I already can't paint anymore, it hurts my hands too much... Anything that requires small details or precise motions will hurt me for days. I have a lot of grief around it. But working digitally allows me to still create!

I animate, I illustrate, I get to tell my stories. I have to go slow, take huge breaks (often against my will) and recover slowly. But, working in this space allows me the grace to do this.

So, I just wanted to share a bit of my experience with my audience, and say thank you for reading my work and supporting me! It means the world to me, and I hope maybe someone in my audience feels a little more seen through me sharing this. It causes me pain, but I love myself; and that includes my disability.

[tj-crochets]

Hey y'all! Weird question time again, this time for my fellow peeps with brain fog (or other things that could cause word issues tbh I have no idea which of my health issues causes it): Do you ever find when your brain gets stuck trying to say a word because the word is just completely gone from your head* in your first language, you can kinda work around the missing words in a different language? Especially asking if this commonly happens to you in a language that A. you are not fluent in and B. no one you are talking to understands Like, knowing more Spanish vocab has helped me when I get stuck in English because sometimes I can say the thing in Spanish and it's like it unlocks the ability to say it in English, but sometimes I say it in Spanish and still can't come up with the words in English and then I have just said a sentence in not very good Spanish to my dad and brother, who speak almost no Spanish (this has happened enough my brother is picking up on Spanish)

*idk how to articulate the difference between the word issues I'm talking about and the "oh I forget the word it's on the tip of my tongue" type issues. Like, my dad, uncles, and cousin were/are firefighters. My dad was, at the time, watching a show about firefighters. One time I lost the word firefighter so completely that by the time I was able to string together other words to get the concept across, what I came up with was "firetruck people". I still occasionally have the "forgot the word" issues, but I never had the "word is completely gone" problems before I got sick and the two feel very different (they probably look not too dissimilar from the outside)

[stardustdiiving]

I notice Nahida is portrayed as frustrated or scolding of other characters (usually Wanderer) in fanon often but to be honest I don’t think Nahida really has that much of a temper where she defaults to that sort of thing very much….She can be angry and firm as needed but I really don’t think that’s her first instinct on how to assert herself in a lot of cases.

She instead really strikes me as someone who primarily gets upset when it’s on behalf of other people or someone embodying ideas she finds very devoid of care and compassion for others….but struggles to really be angry on her own behalf. Like, it’s pointed out it’s only until she’s actively being rescued that she finally says she’s angry at the Sages, and while she is openly angry then we see later everyone comments on how they seem to have gotten off days, which I touched on in this post and feel u can infer from that this idea Nahida struggles to be harsh even towards to the people who kept her in a cage for 500 years—which makes when u see how much she rationalizes being treated like this earlier on. She ultimately seems more concerned with the Sages mistreatment of her people vs their mistreatment of Nahida herself.

This feels consistent to why she seems pretty visibly disgusted with Dottore when they have their negotiation. Dottore is more or less an antithesis to everything she believes about wisdom and embodies a lot of malice and cruelty that Nahida would be really disturbed by. I personally like to write her lack of a temper in some areas as something that seems almost troubling — bc on one hand she’s very forgiving and kind despite through being a lot, but on the other this seems like it might be rooted in just genuinely not allowing herself to be angry to protect herself. But yeah overall I think unless you’re really causing an issue Nahida is more likely to give you a kind of frazzled sad puppy look and very politely ask you to be better as opposed to hitting you with a sandal or scolding you for it

In the case of her relationship with Wanderer specifically I’ve like, talked about how I feel people overlook the fact Wanderer makes a genuine effort to cooperate with Nahida and doesn’t really fight with her much…so i don’t think they’re often bickering with each other to the point Nahida has to get really firm with him. She seems to have a pretty interesting amount of patience with him especially post AQ, which again I think is helped by the fact Wanderer is genuinely trying to cooperate and she sees that. We do see her ask Traveler + Scaramouche to stop bickering in Inversion of Genesis but she is in my opinion very polite and at most a bit awkward about it, not scolding or irritated

[moeblob]

OC !

[ruthlesslistener]

Ngl something that really pisses me off about the way that Tumblr deals with mental health is the fact that there's this seeming disconnect between trying to be inclusive of mental/personality disorders without acknowledging the grotesque, uncomfortable nature of some of them (OCD intrusive thoughts, for example, esp. if they're POCD) and the fact that others are, in fact, the root cause for a lot of actual abuse

Like, I've been hearing a lot from my mom about how my dad is a narcissist and an abuser bc of it (she's only just now realizing how awful he is after starting therapy, and her therapist is who told her what I've been trying for years), but I'm uncomfortable talking about that because as soon as I rant on it on my own damn blog, people will jump at my throat to snarl at me about how narissistic abuse isn't real or w/ever. Hell, even hearing my mom TALK about her experiences in that light makes me feel nervous/uncomfortable bc I knew if she said that shit on here she'd get piled with hate asks for her not using the 'correct' language, even though she basically flat-out admitted that the only reason me or my siblings existed was through coercion/marital rape when she was drinking. That shit's been haunting me ever since she said it bc I genuinely did not know that it was that bad (though I should have, bc he used to be very phsyically abusive to us before my brother was born), but I knew if I said anything about my discomfort for it til now that people would get mad at me for calling my dad a narcissist, even though that is the root of his behavior and this is my own damn blog for posting these sorts of thoughts/musings. Like, cool! Here's my mom gushing to me about how grateful she is that I'm the reason she figured out she needed help, and I'm sitting here feeling some kind of fucked-up queasy fear-guilt bc she's using wording that would get her cancelled on tumblr even as it contextualizes 30+ years of abuse in a manner that is accurate, easily digestible, and assisting her in getting aid. That's not helpful. But the obsession with 'proper inclusive language' over 'respectful conduct' takes priority over actual help

I don't think all people with NPD are automatically abusers, because I know myself just how easy it is to be an abusive, manipulative asshole. It's really only bc I grew up detesting my father so much that I'm not a piece of shit, honestly. People should be judged based on how they treat the people around them, not how they actually feel or think about it. But at the same time, saying narcissistic abuse doesn't exist is just plain falsehood. No personality disorder is automatically abusive, but many of them are the source of very particular abuses, and claiming otherwise is not helpful to the people trying to be better than their brain, nor to the people who got harmed by those who never bothered to try

[rainintheevening]

Hungry to write, not knowing what project to pick and work on.

[koko2unite]

[monstrsball]

iwaizumi and oikawa are so nervous to meet suga's family. incredibly nervous.

they've never had to do a 'meet the family' thing when they started dating. their families already know each other. they considered each other's families their own long before they even started dating. the only nervewracking aspect was revealing that they were dating but it's not like anyone was surprised by that. (not even oikawa's parents) so things were okay, mostly.

in theory, oikawa should be fine. he did date one girl long enough to meet her parents (and they loved him) but this is different. it's a serious relationship. and there's the polyamorous aspect to consider too. what if they don't get it? what if they think iwaizumi and oikawa aren't taking this seriously and are just fooling around? what if koushi mom decides she hates them and forbids koushi from dating them? (iwaizumi says this is ridiculous because koushi is a twenty four year old adult man - he doesn't comment on the rest of it)

iwaizumi plays it cool for the most part but he won't lie that some of the anxieties oikawa expresses to him make him go "fuck i didn't even think that was a possibility..." he would never say that to oikawa though. he just rolls his eyes and tells him he's being ridiculous. (oikawa knows iwaizumi is nervous too though. of course he does. he knows him better than himself sometimes.)

in the end, they really had nothing to worry about. moms always love oikawa, he's a charmer. it doesn't hurt that he brought flowers. iwaizumi wins her over when he offers to do the dishes after dinner. suga's brother is a little quiet and standoffish at first but warms up to both of them when he sees that they both clearly care a lot about his brother. (sorry oikawa, little suga did in fact think what you feared he would)

they leave with their phone numbers and an invite to the next big family gathering with suga's extended family.

[goatsandgangsters]

so much for my nice relaxing weekend curled up inside with my book and my fresh bread that I made

my mom sent me a guilt trip text at 1 AM because apparently I haven't Atoned Enough for... being upset about her terminal illness on christmas, and crying, and being further upset that they left me alone to cry by myself, and snapping at my stepdad's mom for being homophobic at me while I was crying about being left alone to cry about my mom's terminal illness. and apparently I owe my stepdad's mom an apology for ""screaming at her"" (I did not scream) ""even if you think you were slighted"" (she was homophobic)

and it sucks because I thought we were past that, I actually was feeling a lot better and like I'd recovered from All The Emotional Drain That Was Christmas. and I waited MONTHS to start that book bc I was feeling shitty emotionally and I wanted to be able to enjoy it, and my plan for the weekend was to do that, and now it's all just. a big stupid pile of ugly feelings on the floor again

[the-real-daddy-van-der-bellen]

you might think i grew out my hair because I simply think it's pretty. but in truth it is so that i can eat ice cream and when i inevitably get it on my shirt, i can simply hide the stain with my hair.

[vulpine-spectacle]

ECHOES IN OUR BLOOD by Vulpine_Spectacle

THE PARENTS OF FEYD-RAUTHA AND BEAST RABBAN.

It is the scream of a woman that spurs Abulurd into a faster pace, despite the pain of shards imprinting into his face, then the snow biting into his flesh. The door to Feyd-Rautha’s nursery is open wide, so Abulurd need only stagger forward into it. The sight that awaits him is sickening. Thora. His wife, his love, lays upon the ground. Blood pours ceaselessly from the stump of her neck. Her body twitches, her nightgown stained with blood and stab wounds across her torso, and her head is in the hands of her killer. “Glossu,” breathes Abulurd. His eldest son stands there before him, clutching Thora’s head in his large, calloused hands. The boy who he had left behind on Arakkis is now a man. He is exceptionally large in stature and muscle, adorned in fine black armor dusted in snow and painted by blood. His smile is like his uncle's, cruel. Twisting his own mother’s head between his hands, he finally looks up to face his father. Carelessly, Rabban throws the head of Thora across the room. It rolls in an expression of frozen pain and terror to the feet of Abulurd. He feels his lip quiver as he looks at it, then at his own son. Beyond this room, he can still hear the massacre transpring through the corridors. Broken windows, guards being slaughtered, the screams of his servants. “Your own mother?” Abulurd says, his voice quivering. Rabban’s back straightens. “I am no son of yours or hers,” he says, his voice rough and thick. He glances towards the crib at the center of the room where Feyd-Rautha is standing, clutching the rim of it and peering over to watch it unfold. He is crying. “Nor is he.” Nor is he.

[hamable]

HEAR ME OUT!!!

Bakudeku/Class-1A Camp Rock AU

DOES ANYONE ELSE SEE THE VISION

[milkbreadtoast]

This meme is ancient but I randomly saw it again and i needed to do it..... (not sure abt some of the charas but just wanted to fill up space dmfbn)

[maxgicalgirl]

I’m not going to lie I’m like really stuck and don’t know what to do with my feelings about All Of This. I dont have therapy until next week and they don’t have space to move me up and I dont really have anyone else to talk through how I feel ? I dont know what to do.

[husbants]

exhausted of existing ✌️