#I also did not sleep
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so much for my nice relaxing weekend curled up inside with my book and my fresh bread that I made
my mom sent me a guilt trip text at 1 AM because apparently I haven't Atoned Enough for... being upset about her terminal illness on christmas, and crying, and being further upset that they left me alone to cry by myself, and snapping at my stepdad's mom for being homophobic at me while I was crying about being left alone to cry about my mom's terminal illness. and apparently I owe my stepdad's mom an apology for ""screaming at her"" (I did not scream) ""even if you think you were slighted"" (she was homophobic)
and it sucks because I thought we were past that, I actually was feeling a lot better and like I'd recovered from All The Emotional Drain That Was Christmas. and I waited MONTHS to start that book bc I was feeling shitty emotionally and I wanted to be able to enjoy it, and my plan for the weekend was to do that, and now it's all just. a big stupid pile of ugly feelings on the floor again
#I also did not sleep#because she sent me this text at 1 AM#and I was awake until 7 AM#and I'm hurt that she continues to not hear me#and to say things like 'even if you think you were slighted'#it's not that I was HURT oh no we can't allow for that. it's that I only THINK I was ~slighted~#(I can't be HURT I have to be SLIGHTED bc then she doesn't have to acknowledge culpability in hurting me by ignoring my emotional needs)#and she's terminally ill so it's not like I can be like 'hey all my life you've never let me have negative emotions'#'and you don't actually listen when I try to express negative emotions to you because you'd rather I Not Be Having Them At All'#'and this just feels like more of this and it's not fair'#because she'll just. be pointlessly guilty about it and she'll cry and it'll make her feel worse without changing anything#and she's already in enough physical pain as it is but there's no way to talk about these issues when she doesn't see what they really are#and I don't want to keep picking at this fUCKING scab of something I thought I had closure on but my mom can't let go of for some reason#and I just...... wanted to have my weekend with my fresh baked bread and my book#and I wanted to feel good and cozy and relaxed#and now it's broken again
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THEY MAKE ME INSANE
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Proof below:
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Also, I’m fucking crying, I think his arm is like that bc he fell asleep holding the photo.
EDIT: more proof:
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#than Laura drove them home…#I wonder if Logan continued to sleep in the car or if he woke up and helped carry Deadpool inside and place him on the bed#or did Logan also get dragged to the bed? while asleep?#he weighs like 600 lbs because of the metal so it would be incredibly hard to do#correction he weighs between 350 to 425 lbs#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine#deadpool#poolverine
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mentor
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#gojo satoru#megumi fushiguro#jjk art#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#pulled another allnighter fr Angst's sake cries i havent slept.......but i couldnt help myself i was out all DAY i hadnt drawn all DAY#do u know what that does to a mf i felt all antsy and Wrong#so i cracked an energy drink i think i may have a problem honestly but hey at least u get ur daily dose of megumi angst#remember how i said i considered including gojo in the yuuji/tsumiki/megu squared train piece#well this is me making up fr Not including him there#i ws right his and megumi's relationship deserves its own homage smile :)#anyway @ anon who wanted a gojo/megumi hug.....ik it's not exactly a hug but you can forgive me im sure <3#dare i say it's better than hugs jeremy.....#honestly fr all my gripes w gojo i Did get kind of emo abt this?? but i feel like. the majority of my emotions r on megumi's behalf#also might have been the mukashi mukashi no kyou no boku on repeat that'll also do it#seriously debated putting translated lyrics as the caption but it feels like a copout doing 2 lyric-captions in a row#also i do have some shame. miku lyrics r a bit.#anyway art notes uhhhhh finally got gojo's hair to not look Yuuji#who knew the trick was to make it longer smh maybe sleep deprivation n 10 hours of staring at a screen Does make simple problems hard#oh file name 'proud of you' btw
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FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S (2023)
#fnaf#fnafedit#Five Nights at Freddy's#fnaf movie#matpat#fnaf movie spoilers#fnaf spoilers#fyeahmovies#filmedit#gifs*#arsenicpandacreates#this LYING LIAR WHO LIES acted like he WASN'T IN THE MOVIE alskjflskjf#yes I DID stop watching to make this gif set what of it?#also I do not like this coloring but also I'm sick of looking at it and want to sleep soooooo#there is NO COLOR in this scene I SWEAR TO GOD#you would not BELIEVE the vibrancy + saturation it took to get it to this bland point#and any further started causing problems booooooo
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typical tavern scene
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhjy#fabian seacaster#riz gukgak#adaine abernant#kristen applebees#figueroth faeth#gorgug thistlespring#got my version of this in lol. I feel like this is mandatory if u draw fh art#trying to remember whats on the menu at a typical swensen's. its been years since I last was at one#tho I am so absolutely unfamiliar with like elmville level of town scenery. just immediately drew from my own experience lmao#I used to think malls are the same everywhere.... but then I hear from my US friends and. wow they sure are not#mm. good day to reminisce a little bit. but I am now sleepy#not a lot to say abt this I think most of this is pretty straightforward. I did use this to test out some overlays in SAI2#that I never really touched. the talisman on fig's guitar case takes from the house protection talisman you'd put on the front door#and also I think kristen slipping while fully sat down is very funny and special. she means so much to me#okay. alright. I should really go to sleep. and tomorrow I should take my dang walk... see the sun#have a good night lads! enjoy ice cream
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Someone's last crush didn't live up to the hype 😬
#yes fyodor literally called dazai by name a second ago what of it#WHY did he say it like that!! ''atsushi i'm going home to sleep come with me 😘'' WHAT#i don't even know if this should count as ship art it reads more like fyodor's obsession with dazai grasping at straws to bounce back#up next: fyodor's past flirting with natsume TRUST dazai was the also a bounceback bf#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd fanart#bsd spoilers#bsd manga spoilers#bsd 119#bsd atsushi#bsd nakajima atsushi#bsd fyodor#bsd fyodor dostoyevsky#nawy's comics#i tried to get something out of this comic but i have so much trouble being funny these days i'm so dissatisfied with everything😔
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Bonus:
#fairly oddparents#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop a new wish#the fairly oddparents#timmy turner#denzel crocker#aj#fop aj#fop#a new wish#fairly odd parents a new wish#fairly odd parents#my art#fanart#I have plenty more ideas to draw for this au so hopefully I could get most of these done before my next semester starts#On one hand it's good that Timmy possibly didn’t become obsessed with finding his fairy godparents after witnessing firsthand what it did t#But at the same time it must sting for them to hear their former godkid outright deny your existence ngl#Also it's 5 am over here rn I really need to sleep oh god
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Horror movie fans are so funny because you'll bring up the biggest actor who's in 10,000 iconic roles, and they'll go, "Oh, the guy from Blood Burger 4: Keep Flipping." and that's the only thing on their filmography that they've seen.
#i did not sleep more than a few houes last night because I keep trying to hack up a lung#also the power went out while i was typing th#oh its back#batty speaks#anyway this post is about me
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FNAF movie Vanessa was out of pocket for this one..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#vanessa fnaf#vanessa afton#vanessa shelly#mike schmidt#fnaf movie#fnaf fanart#More Vanessa thoughts comics!!#NOW I have drawn this scene before but this part also tuck out to me#VANESSA throwing away Mike’s sleeping pills was wild of her#EVEN before I knew her whole deal with William this part stuck out BAHA#this is Vanessa’s one uncalled for action in the whole movie#I GET why she probably did it was so he couldn’t get closer to the truth about her father etc#but Mike is not only mentally unwell but financially too 💀#he probably needed those Vanessa#I WONDER if she felt bad after like oops he may of needed those 💀💀💀#still love her though we all have our flaws 🙏🏾🩵
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Call this the Whoopsie AU (it's barely an AU)
I mean. Narinder never explicitly SAID the Lamb would stay dead... :3c He probably should have been more specific. >:3c
Part Two:
Well. The Lamb tried, but...sorry, Nari, the crown hates you now. Shouldn't have been so quick to lend it out, I guess. :D
Aaaand Part Three:
'Isn't he just adorable?' -The Lamb, probably, while their followers smile and nod and internally scream at the brand new hellcat they now have to share living space with...
Anyway, nothing says 'Dead To Me' like following a person around to loudly remind them of how dead they are to you. Right? Right. Narinder's got this all figured out. <:]
#fanart#comics#cult of the lamb#cotl#narilamb#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#cotl yellow cat#this is my headcanon and i'm sticking to it#the lamb is a goofy stabby-babby goober and narinder is just a grumpy asshole who constantly velcroes onto them for hella snuggles#look - if you've been trapped in the afterlife void for over a thousand years - you are GONNA want a fuckton of snuggles#that's just science#the scribble comic i did with narinder and the yellow cat can technically work as part four i guess#only instead of the lamb Going Gremlin at the attempt to steal their other followers' devotion#they just comin' at him for Rad Cuddles OuO#someday i will draw these two with the proper height difference i imagine them having#today is not that day#today is also not the day i pin down exactly how long i want narinder's tail to be#(but i want it to be Very Long - just because)#there are inconsistencies here and there and probably some mistakes but i have been working on these for a week and i am So Tired guys#EDIT: haha yeah i forgot to color in narinder's fukken ears again#fuk :)#EDIT 2: i fixed it but it's probably too late at this point lmao#EDIT 3: THE LAMB'S FUKKEN HORNS JFC#i am not editing this thing anymore cuz i need sleep and the mistakes are already out there *dies of artist mortification*
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Learning to celebrate the little wins!
#fersona#While I don't have the capacity to do Hourly Comics Day#I did journal my day hour-by-hour and the sheer difference in my self-care and routines is *staggering*.#Honestly both Feb 1 2024 and 2025 were rough days...but this year I had a far better outlook on it all.#The funny part is that when I drew this a few days ago I actually *was* celebrating not crying.#Might have still cried on Feb 1st. A meagre 4 times. But I also had lot of good moments!#January is a very hard month for me and frankly I've been in a fugue state for most of it.#Drawing helped me pull through these last 2 years but this year I've been finding myself so upset at how I can't seem to focus anymore.#So updates and posts have been slow. I'm just slow. I'm tired and burnt out from work and grieving.#But you know what? The days I do manage to post; I'm never shamed for how long it took. You're all just as excited and kind.#I'm coming home and eating better and sleeping more and spending time with loved ones.#This is all to say; you can be a lot happier when you realize that life can be taken a little slower.#I'm more grateful that words can possibly convey.#If you related to the mindset of constantly feeling like you've 'failed' the day; please know you have done more than you realize.#I'm struggling with it everyday! I'm in the trenches with you!#Life is too short and painful to not celebrate what you *do* accomplish! It's hard work but it is worth it!#Bit by bit...we will learn to live. *Really* live. And enjoy it!
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some arasol stuff !!!!
#i love them sm my gosh#THEY R EVERYTHIG TO ME....#i eat sleep and breathe arasol i swear#arasol#homestuck#my art#also the first one is kind of a redraw of an old doodle i did on my sketchbook :DD#aradia megido#sollux captor
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hi im so normal about them
#aradia megido#sollux captor#homestuck#arasol#did these instead of sleeping last night#not finished clearly cus i instead chose to sleep a bit like a loser 🙄#i also have some super old art of them that im thinking of redrawing....#hs#my art#h#art
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I don't want to regret the way I lived
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#nobara kugisaki#nanami kento#choso kamo#junpei yoshino#jjk leaks#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#this idea started as a 2 part series . then my braincells decided to spark and supplied 7 PAGES#'did you sleep hina' no#ws looking up mentally stable things like 'who has died in jjk' smh i love my hyperfixation media im sooooo glad so many ppl r DEAD#i *could* have included more ppl but i think this is a good crew. this is a yuuji emotional support crew#also Was gna include his grandpa final panel but i Did Not Want To#he is implied through th dialogue#side note i donot like how i cn see this scenario playing out . ..yuuji this isnt ur stop u r monopoly voice Just Visiting ok >:(#anyway I broke my own heart with this and ik i hyped it up a lot but i hope that its not just me...#hope i did not hype it up fr nothing and no one else finds it devastating :((((( that would b humbling in the worst way#pls ...join the happy party train.......i hate it here i suffered pls :<<<<#also !!!! colours in this !! i cooked i fear . adding th first bit of warm hitting yuuji's face after th first 2 panels....#ive never had that kind of experience while drawing before it was wild . painful ! but wild.#the whole transition from p 2->3 might b the most emotionally moving piece ive ever made to me#not 2 sing my own praises tho i will shut up ! i wil. nap
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summer of junior year 06/11
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#gorgug thistlespring#riz gukgak#kristen applebees#figueroth faeth#fabian seacaster#adaine abernant#the bad kids#this is like. the First time I put down a palette for the kids lmao#I thiiiink its pretty consistent with the tones I did with my early sketches? iirc#gods. Ive been staring at this for Hours. I need to sleep lol#summer... it is happening. I feel like that always brings with it big emotions for me#it is. a little bit funny to me that whether these kids get a peaceful summer or not depends fully on how many roll20 campaigns happen#between now and a definitive end/last season of fh lmao#but also the last ''summer'' movie I watched was uhhh summer of 84. which. mmmmm#grim affair! so I'd need to stock up on less gloomy stuff to even think abt this...#well. what I need right now is sleep. so sleep I shall. thank u for tuning in today. see u again I think
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Why is no one talking about the fact that Bill is probably back as a bird? The last two pages in the book of bill show the statues eye not glowing, and the last page the eye is glowing with that looks like a bird on his hand. I would show pictures but I don’t have the book on me atm! Anyways bird bill…. I must draw him….
#I woke up with a vision bro /j I FELL ASLEEP AT 6PM WTF 😭😭😭😭😭 HOW DID I SLEEP SO LONG HELLOO#anyway#the book of bill#gravity falls#also I think the website is gonna update tomorrow#well technically today since it’s 5 am here#bill cipher#the book of bill spoilers#gf#doodle#doodles#myart#bird bill save me bird bill I made such a fire design for bro
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