#my mind is half dead
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Shhh shhh I’m definitely not saying anything *whispers in your ear* but I keep seeing “‘we need more complex female characters’ but they couldn’t handle Apple White.”
But like …
That applies more to Apple fans than those who dislike her
Because while yes there are Apple haters who completely overlook the complexity of her character but more often than not it’s those who like her that in trying to defend her take away the complexity of her character.
Like some people can’t stand the complexity of her character so they water her down
hmm HMM
Idk like excusing apples actions is VERY different from explaining them
#3am thoughts y’all are stuck with#also I did NOT proof read this#my mind is half dead#and I’ve caught myself using the wrong word like 3 times#ie I put Apple where the word was supposed to be can#so there’s definitely more#meaning this probs won’t make sense#whoops#also btw this isn’t pointed#i genuinely saw that on a Pinterest photo#and it t me remember seeing that quote lots#DANG im a true tumblr-er (!?)#yapping in the tags#eah#ever after high#apple white#also I’ve been posting sm about apple#that her tag shows up before Lizzie#😱😱
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honestly i think a lot of us should consider getting involved in local republican primaries and conventions and stuff to get less cartoonishly evil people into the party. i mean if we're stuck with a two-party system anyway, i feel like it'd be in our best interest to try and defang the worse party, instead of only pushing the vote-blue-no-matter-who angle that's been giving us so many pro-war candidates (or just plain incompetent ones). i mean like pushing from the inside to take face-eating leopard stuff off the platforms... we could potentially fumigate the republican party from the inside out if we really dug into it i think.
my extended family has a statistically above-average gay & trans proportion, and what i've gathered from talking to older/more conservative-leaning relatives is that there seems to be a strong and widespread desire to just see some politicians who will decrease/reprioritize the collection and spending of tax money and reeeeally don't like the way the republican party as an organization always tries to bundle that with attacking queer freedom... the same way i (and many of you i hope) hate the way the democratic party seems to have been bundling promises of various minority protections with drone strikes on the middle east. it would probably be worthwhile to find local politicians and movements that want to get the anti-queer stuff off of the local/county republican platforms before it can spread out to the state or national levels. i really believe the true frothing hatred of the biggest names is a vocal minority... like, in my experience, people in real life really are just like "how's it going man" more often than not. i think there's an untapped potential for a powerful bipartisan de-zealotification.
of course we should be doing the same for the left too, but i really don't think the solution for a two-party system is to just make it a one-party system instead by only showing up every two or four years to vote blue down the ballot and then stop thinking about it the rest of the time. no i don't have all the solutions or the perfect battleplan; this push would look different for every household in every city in america, because this country is so diverse and so are its issues... i just think we should be taking the shaka zulu approach of tackling the system from both sides instead of just throwing ourselves against the left flank only.
#like we need to do stuff besides yelling ''IT'S HOPELESS!! HALF THE COUNTRY WANTS US DEAD!!'' bc it's just untrue#sorry for the political talk lately but that's what's been on my mind for obvious reasons#i'll return to my regular minimal-politics policy in a few more business days#shebbz shoutz
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I am so sorry but Remus John Lupin was not a sex god. Bro had never even seen a dick until Sirius. He was genuinely a little bit afraid of it the first time (it’s okay, though, because Sirius was very sweet and patient, of course). He thought people kissing in books was wild and sexual. He turned into a tomato and hid his face whenever there was a kiss in movies. He took things so slowly with Sirius that Sirius had to ask if he ever wanted to have it or if he was asexual or something. Then, once he got a taste, he became the most insatiable thing ever, practically begging for it every night.
#remus lupin#sirius black#wolfstar#remus lupin x sirius black#sirius black x remus lupin#remus x sirius#sirius x remus#marauders era#harry potter marauders#maraudersera#the marauders era#the marauders#dead gay wizards from the 70s#dead gay wizards#mwpp era#mwpp#trans remus lupin#MY TRANS BABY BOY REMUS#I LOVE TRANS REMUS#he is so pathetic#not because of trans just because that is who he is#and we love it#pathetic loserboy remus lupin my beloved <3#meanwhile#casanova of gryffindor tower sirius black#casanova of gryffindor tower#bro was a literal sex god#half the people in hogwarts lost their virginity to him#because he wanted to piss off his parents#(and take his mind off of the cute little nerdy anxious werewolf boy in his dorm)
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Absolutely absurd that people give Arthur and John the benefit of the doubt by labeling them complex characters (which they are), but won't extend that grace to INCREDIBLY complex characters like Abigail, Molly, and Mary.
Abigail is strictly a nag, Molly is a rat, and Mary is a selfish woman who used Arthur. Meanwhile, John is seen as a deadbeat who grew from that into a family man. Arthur is a murderer, but he's also kind and generous.
Stop only extending grace to your male favs when the red dead women are just as complex as them.
#half the complaints abt the women don't even have any backbone too😭#I swear if anyone interprets this as a John/arthur hate post I may lose my mind#YOU CAN BE CRITICAL OF THEM AND DTILL LIKE THEM#abigail marston#abigail roberts#molly o'shea#mary linton#mary gillis#arthur morgan#john marston#rdr2#red dead redemption 2
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mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.
now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.
He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.
(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)
The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.
The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.
And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.
(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)
The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.
anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)
#mxtx svsss#svsss au#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#disciple shen yuan#scum villain#svsss#*points at SQQ/SY* i want him to go nuts. as a treat. let him crumble just a little over the stress of his fate and the stress of survival#and the stress of having a lack of autonomy over a handful of his decisions. starry craves angst and she craves a very specific SQQ angst#he was a number 1 hater back in the day and lbr being a hater takes energyyyy. ive heard that this man was the BIGGEST hater i wanna#see him rip a man to shreds with nothing but his tongue and a voice that could cut marble clean in half. skin a man alive sqq you deserve i#*mortal kombat voice* FINISH HIM#i love without-a-cure but unfortunately i dont think SQQ would be able to have WAC and also survive in the abyss.#the succubi nest that adopted him tried seducing him at first. it didn't work. but he did somehow charm them with his cringefail ways#so now they have a brand new mortal big/little brother to dote on. SQQ is frankly delighted to learn all about succubi culture that doesnt#revolve around sex. he makes quite a few friends/allies in the abyss because of his pure fascination and unbiased desire to learn about#demonic culture and all the different niches and nuances of it across species. he's still going insane tho. like that's not stopping.#there's a single LBH pov chapter in the fic and its frankly so unhinged it was fantastic. he's so possessive. he straight up goes:#'oh SQQ isnt gonna be the next peak lord. he's ascending to heaven with me when i do :)' when Sha Hualing (also peak lord) told him that he#couldn't keep his disciple in the bamboo house all the time. what was SQQ gonna do when LBH ascends and he becomes the new peak lord?#gosh that first chapter is rotating around in my mind so bad. LBH was SO unwell. like losing his actual shit over SQQ near the edge.#i so want to write a oneshot abt this where SQQ is also in hysterics (albeit over slightly diff reasons) and tells LBH on his knees:#'this disciple deeply apologizes to his shizun. for he will not be ascending to the heavens with him.' right before he falls into the abyss#this au being disciple SY is for shits and giggles but i can also see it happening for regular SQQ bc 'fuck it im a dead man either way'#frothing at the mouth at this idea also being a SY-is-SJ au too. for the extra angst of SQQ trying to bear the weight of multiple lives on#his shoulders and trying to figure out what is real and what isn't and if he's meant to suffer in all of his lives no matter what he does.#not once in his life has he ever been free to do what he likes has he? self-hatred to the max. he's going mad. poor boy :]
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okay i know it literally lost the poll but the heart wants what the heart wants ect and 4 days and 20k words later here we are. it was supposed to be like 5k. to be clear. i hope the three people who voted for it like it T_T
dumb luck or good ghost
Dean wakes up after the accident and his father tells him that Sammy is dead.
#sam's not even present for most of this fic but his absence is SO present you know#okay so here's the thing you are dean winchester and your brother is dead#you are no longer dean winchester#(dean winchester is sam's brother and with that gone what's left behind isn't enough to make a person out of)#i literally wrote the second half of this fic today because i've lost my mind#please like it lol#progress report
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au - tim sneaking out of jason's room one night at the manor and accidentally locking eyes with dick who is sneaking out of bruce's room at the exact same time, breakfast is very awkward the next morning
(i did think of having it be jason instead of tim but honestly jason has 0 shame and even less issue outing himself if it means fucking with bruce and, to a lesser extent, dick)
i'm cackling I love these types of things so much. they're so silly. sometimes we deserve mindless crack for these ships. have a *very* low effort ficlet bc this just makes me snort, enjoy <3
Dick closed Bruce's door as quietly as he could. Usually, he didn't have to sneak around when he slept with Bruce. But the temporary room Bruce had given Jason in the manor was just down the hall, and Dick didn't feel like looking Jason in the eye if he walked out of Bruce's bedroom in the morning at the wrong time.
Just because he was pretty sure Jason knew, didn't mean he needed confirmation and confrontation.
Dick had almost caved to staying in bed with Bruce when Bruce tried to pull him back down, but he kept some level of wits about him, prying Bruce's arm off of him and giving him a final kiss on the cheek before heading for the door.
The one thing Dick did allow himself, though, was wearing one of Bruce's shirts instead of his own. It was a size too large on him but smelled safe and comforting. Dick breathed a quiet sigh of relief when the door latched silently. He let go of the handle, turning around to creep off to his own bedroom in another wing.
And found himself staring at another figure.
With all of the lights off and only faint moonlight streaming through the windows, Dick couldn't tell who it was, at first. His reaction was embarrassing no matter who it was, jumping nearly a foot backward and clutching a hand over his chest.
He was a goddamn vigilante. This was just embarrassing.
The other person wasn't nearly as shocked as Dick, but they stood perfectly still, staring with wide eyes that faintly reflected what little light illuminated their face. Dick squinted, leaning forward to see who it was.
"Tim?" Dick hissed, trying to keep his voice to a whisper. Bruce had fallen asleep and if Dick woke him up now, he was never going to get the stubborn bastard back to bed.
Tim, still looking like a deer in headlights, just blinked at Dick.
"What are you doing up this late?" Dick asked. They'd all agreed to take tonight's patrol off, letting Babs, Helena, Dinah, and Zinda handle it in exchange for tackling the massive human trafficking ring in the morning with fresh eyes and cleared heads. The job was the only thing that had gotten Jason to agree to work with them in the first place. Bruce barely managed to strong-arm Jason into sleeping in the manor, with a decent amount of guilting from Alfred.
Jason, who was in the room only a few feet away from Dick. The room that Tim's hand was resting on the doorknob of.
"That's Jason's room," Dick said slowly.
Tim just nodded. "I know." He wasn't whispering like Dick was, but his tone remained impossible to read.
He just saw Dick walk out of Bruce's room. Had he put it together? It was Tim, after all. if he hadn't yet, Dick assumed he only had a couple minutes before it dawned on Tim.
"What were you doing in Jason's room?" Dick frowned. If he focused on Tim, it could keep the focus off of him for as long as possible. Dick tried to ignore how fast his heart was beating.
Tim's expression was hard to make out in the dark. "We were talking about the case." Still, his tone remained entirely neutral.
Too neutral, for Tim.
"At two am?"
"Well, what were you doing?" Tim huffed slightly when he said it, folding his arms over his chest.
He was shirtless, Dick just realized.
Shirtless and coming out of Jason's room.
"I was-" Dick stumbled over his words, choking as he tried to come up with an alibi. "We were talking about the-"
"I already used that excuse, pick your own," Tim deadpanned. Dick was pretty sure he also rolled his eyes. "I've known about you and Bruce for years, you know. You don't have to pretend."
The noise that came out of Dick's throat was almost as mortifying as the realization that not only did Jason likely know, but so did Tim.
"It... okay it has not been years," Dick's face was hot and he was glad it was too dark for Tim to see his blush. "I mean- it's been a while but not years-"
"Whatever you say." Tim shrugged, sounding unconvinced. "There have been feelings between you two for years, close enough for me."
If Dick died, right here, in this hallway in front of Bruce's door, he hoped the cause of death would be put down as homicide instead of natural causes. Because every word from Tim's mouth made another piece of Dick die inside, just a little.
"It's none of your business either way." Dick tried to stand up straight to sound more in control of the situation, clearing his throat.
"Trust me, I don't want it to be my business."
Dick would've laughed, if this was happening to anyone but him.
"What about... you and Jason?" Dick asked carefully.
Tim shifted on his feet. "What about it? I told you, we were talking about the case."
"Right." It was Dick's turn to roll his eyes. "In his bedroom, at two am, without your shirt?"
Tim stared at Dick for a long, torturous moment. A moment that made Dick agree with Tim, about not wanting to know any sordid details.
"I'm going to bed," Tim said suddenly, turning away from Dick. "Goodnight."
Dick had a thousand more questions he wanted to ask. How Tim and Jason even got together, when it happened. Last Dick knew, they could barely stand to be in the same room.
But Tim was walking away at an alarmingly brisk pace and Dick just sighed. He was too tired and mortified about his own secrets to chase Tim down for an impromptu interrogation that would just end up embarrassing them both more.
Maybe it was best for Dick's sanity if he didn't know the specifics.
Dick didn't consider how awkward it would be until he was standing in the kitchen, staring at Jason bent over a cup of coffee.
Did Jason know Dick knew? It didn't seem like he did, but he had always had a good poker face.
When Tim ambled into the kitchen and grabbed overnight oats from the fridge, he didn't even look at Dick. He seemed to be pointedly avoiding it, sitting as far away from Dick as he could at the oversized dining room table.
All while Dick couldn't seem to stop staring.
"Your cereal is going to get soggy," Jason muttered, and it took Dick a moment to realize Jason was talking to him. "At least eat it before trying to explode my head with your mind, or whatever your staring problem is."
"I'm not-" Dick stuttered. he shut himself up with a mouthful of cereal when Cass gave him an odd look.
Would she be able to figure it out just from his body language?
Dick had never fully understood the lengths her ability to read people could go. he looked away from her and stared at a random spot on the table, trying to eat at a normal pace.
Bruce was the last to wander into the kitchen. He squeezed Dick's shoulder as he walked by, making Dick jump. It was an innocent enough touch that no one would question, but all Dick could think about was the brief look from Tim before he quickly averted his eyes again.
The silence around the table was going to eat Dick alive. He started eating cereal faster.
"Oh for fuck's sake," Jason broke the tension, throwing his head back and slamming an empty mug down onto the table. "Everyone knows you two are fucking, alright?" He gestured between Dick and Bruce. "Stop being so goddamn weird about it, you're acting like there's a bomb in the room."
Bruce choked on his coffee. "Jason." He tried to sound reprimanding, but his voice was a few octaves too high.
Dick threw his hands in the air. "I knew you knew about that, but I didn't know about you and Tim until last night so excuse me for feeling a little awkward."
"You didn't know about what?" Bruce nearly yelled, spinning around to face Jason.
"Damnit, Dick!" Tim groaned, putting his head in his hands.
Jason just scoffed, pointing a fork at Bruce. "Oh don't even give me that self-righteous bullshit-"
Their argument went back and forth while Tim just rubbed his temples, muttering to himself and glaring at Dick.
Worst of all, Dick was pretty sure Cass was giggling next to him under her covered mouth.
Dick just sighed and ducked his head, dutifully waiting for the ground to open up and swallow him whole.
So much for his breakfast.
#necrotic writings#brudick#jaytim#batcest#i'm serious this is so low effort i wrote it in tumblr#didn't even make a doc for it in my notion#don't ask me how long it is idk#like 1k probably#and it's not edited#it's just crack man.#a fun lil palette cleanser between all the whump and angst.#i'm supposed to be ASLEEP oh my god#nobody percieve me.#this is mostly too crack for my personal tastes#but the ask was cute and it took me a half an hour to write so like#i don't mind stepping out of my comfort zone to give the ppl what they want.#i checked it's 1.5k.#which for me is *so* low effort#but i hope it brings you joy anyway anon!!!#this sat in my inbox for a couple days bc i had other things going on so#hope you didn't mind the wait i'm sorry ily <3#i prefer dead dove type asks but the fluff and crack will always be fun too!
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nah cause like you dont get it!!!! the sully kids and spider are a unit!!! they're puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly. the very definition of "the gang is what i trust"!!! they're together their whole lives and then spider gets taken and all of a sudden the puzzle is in disarray. kiri's so spacey cause she doesn't have spider to bring her back down to pandora. lo'ak's acting out cause he doesn't have his usual partner-in-crime/fellow outcast to make light mischief with. neteyam is like two seconds away from a heart attack/stroke the whole movie because the other kid he used to parent his siblings with for the past like decade is gone!!! and spider on the other hand? is completely alone. at least the other four have each other. all spider has is his alien racist, genocidal, imperialist dad dragging him on the world's worst war crime road trip. there's no kiri to get him out of his head. there's no lo'ak to to be outcasts with. there's no neteyam to have a quiet reassurance that they're in this together with. there's just him and his stupid, fucking mind. and then they blend his brain at bridgehead and it's over for him.
#like the reason the sully kids are tweaking for the first half of their stay in awa'atlu is bc their big brother is getting tortured!!!#and like i do think that eventually the metkayina kids become part of their unit but that doesn't happen until the battle#spider who comes back half there from gettin his brains blended and the on top of that he has to deal with 3 new people in the unit??#well... good luck charlie#and like if we're being honest i think spider comes half the person he used to be after the war crimes road trip#like his body and his reflexes are all there but like his mind isn't and i think the kids dont take well to that#like neteyam's dead and there's a stranger where their big brother used to be and like they all have to deal with the thought of#'if we had went back for spider could we have saved him from this? could we have at least still had one of our big brothers?'#avatar cameron#neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan#lo'ak te suli tsyeyk'itan#kiri te suli kìreysì'ite#spider socorro#sorry for avatar posting guys. the blue people have taken over my brain
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First time as killer on dbd experience
#dead by daylight#dbd#albert wesker#I’m sorry for this shitty doodle it manifested in my mind I had to post it#it was funny as hell btw#I was playing with friends and couldn’t find them for the love of god#half the match was me wandering mindlessly around the map#ahahahahahaha#‘I’ll just take a walk ig…’ <- me after losing sight of the survivors for the 10th time#dbd chronicles
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in the whitchlite carinval. straight up “caking it.” and by “it”, haha, well. lets justr say. My chad
(some gideon exploration & little doodles)
#ok i think i might be obsessed with freeform#its just…so low stakes yk?#and very simple#idk its nice to use for little things like this#it was supposed to be some ideas for day 18 of loa shiptober (tattoo artist/florist)#but i got sidetracked#what can i say#gideon lovers (cough cough dragon cough) enjoy your mans <3#i really like how the half body shot came out#gideons body type is so nice to draww idk why?#i definitely draw too many skinny ppl (i love you kremy but you’re literally built like a wine glass) so i enjoy some more variety i guess#conflicted over how the portrait came out#do i like it? do i not like it? who knows…what a mystery….certainly not me……..#i should probably draw torbek frost and gricko more#but my mind is preoccupied with middle aged man yaoi#speaking of middle aged man yaoi…….#ive embraced the cringe within (its dead! if youre not hurting anyone do what you want!!)#and written my second coalecroux fic (shoutout to my beloved mutual szare for beta reading it!!!!) and im in the process of polishing it up#so….stay tuned……#will probably draw a Specific Scene (tm) because im proud of it like a toddler is proud of their silly cute crayon scribbles on the wall#ALSO#thank you to the person who pointed out to me that gideon doesnt actually canonically have uneven horns its just hair#i have elected to adopt the uneven horns thing regardless because IMPERFECTIONS RAHHH#theyre more fun to draw for me#ok ill stop rambling now#thanks for reading <3#once upon a witchlight#legends of avantris#gideon coal#ouaw
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Chance encounters in Costa del Sol.
#ffxiv#sketch#zenos yae galvus#meteor survivor#titus yae galvus#arrecina wir galvus#oc#tsukiko date#camilla lunae#imagine trying to get drinks at the bar only to look over and see your presumed dead great uncle/great nephew standing right next to you#meteor- five seconds away from a heart attack looking over at titus#that moment when youre the spitting image of your father and the warrior of light was *not* aware of that fact#the galvus' are not allowed to have normal vacations#or... well retirement in Titus' case#I am simply here to draw the unaccounted for garlean royals lmao#eventually i'll draw zenos' half sibling(s?) and varis' retainers annia and julia out of their armor#but for now you guys just get to see my silly bullshit of sixty something y/o titus deciding that with nerva gone he's just gonna retire#mans is done with it#im probably gonna end up writing him as the legatus of the 8th- and probably a machinist that eventually becomes a gunbreaker#after lucius passes this man is over all of it#no nonsense machine commanding leader ect ect.#probably dual wielding the gunblade with an actual gun tbh lol#old man doesnt look like wrinkly solus because he spent his life taking care of himself to deal with just... the galvus family in general#dont let the strands deceive you all his grey hair is hidden under the rest of it all lmao#the galvus family brain rot continues and its not going to let me go v-v#(also dont mind meteor teasing tsu for hiding in his shade she does this a lot)
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Lenny’s character and his whole story means SO much to me. In fact his whole story is like a quieter version of Arthur’s and John’s, just going on in the background. His father’s pocket watch, for example, was given to his father who was told “time catches up with us all” - again tying into the overarching question of ‘how much good redeems you?’
That entire moment of him recalling his father’s story for the request, sharing that he lost the pocket watch while doing everything his parents wanted him to stay away from? Just breaks my heart.
I bet it haunts him thinking about what his parents would say if they saw him then, sleeping on the ground and in the wild with a notorious gang. I bet he stayed up both dreading and anticipating the day his “time” caught up to him, because it meant that he might or might not see his parents again.
#just some thoughts on him#i say as if he doesn’t occupy one half of my mind#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#lenny summers#red dead redemption two#character analysis#story analysis
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just finished season 1 of iwtv. devastated. destroyed. stupid over these bitches. will post a full play-by-play of me watching S1 if even one person indicates interest or if i'm bored
it's literally 3 am and i have therapy tomorrow lmao but i couldn't go to sleep before knowing what happened to these fuckers. and i still don't know. horrible. this is a crime against me specifically
#lmaster37 posts#iwtv#interview with the vampire#live commentary#<- if somebody's interested#is there a genre name for running commentary while consuming a media?#bc i have half a mind to do it with my reread of gideon the ninth as well#for reference i love every character in this show i just also want half of them dead
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#i never really thought about a person being a finite thing. you can see the effects of a person after they die. in the unfinished projects.#in the rooms of clutter. in abandoned closets. in pictures and in mermered phrases. and you can see time#chipping away at those things. eroding away the evidance that a person existed. clothes move into other people's closets. projects are boxed#away. and a person becomes confined to photos and memories. and thats existentially terrifying but its not a bad thing. time erodes away all#things. that's how life works. matter and energy transforms.#we arent made to last forever. i dunno. i guess im still just rattled from being home even tho ive been back a week and a half.#and my brain tends to fixate on the wrong things. nearly 27 years of knowing someone eclipsed by a visual sequence lasting less than a day.#bc i just cant get over how scary it would be to die like that. to start losing control of your body. to not be able to feed yourself or get#to the bathroom. to have your mind be overcome by the toxins building up in your mangled and broken body.#and it could have been worse. it could have been a lot worse. but its still not fair. theres no good way to die. i dunno. i guess i just#miss my mom in some abstract way but i find it more viscerally upsetting to think about the people that have to deal with her absence.#it makes me sad that my dad is alone now. i dunno. grief doesnt feel like i thought it would. most of the time i dont even know what im#crying about. its undirected. it doesnt feel like: i miss you. it feels like: youre gone. how can you be gone? why does everything feel the#same? and its not that it doesnt make sense. its that nothings changed. the terror of that.#and im walking around in an acumulation of my dead mother's clothes. and no one knows. theyll never know.#and there's nothing to be done about it. so it goes.#i guess im just sad. and its hard to breathe at the thought of returning to school at the end of August.#unrelated
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saw a gifset and now i'm thinking about how teen wolf is a show about only children one bad decision away from being orphans and littered with the corpses of dead parents and siblings.
like i think about derek sometimes and how he's the middle child of three only to be a brother without either of his sisters for the first two seasons. how cora being alive when he spent six years believing she was dead changed him profoundly.
or how isaac's brother died when he was young and boyd's little sister died.
that malia kept her little sister's baby doll in her coyote den for eight years. that even peter is a little brother without his older sister.
that even chris argent is an older brother who lost his sister first to their father's manipulations and than to her own madness.
theo's original sin is killing his sister but she perversely lives on inside him due to him having her heart. mason absorbed his twin in utero. hayden leaves beacon hills to keep her sister safe. scott and stiles adopt each other as brothers.
#my blog#thoughts on teen wolf#teen wolf#[turning this over in my mind like a rotisserie chicken]#remember when lydia was supposed to have a dead sister?#and i do believe jackson and malia are half-siblings
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some sonks for your troubles
#sonic appreciation friday#traditional art#sonk#sonic the hedgehog#almost didn’t get to post today#better late than never I suppose#apologies for the lack of posting#more than half of the time I got no idea what to post#It’s been a while since I doodled my au sonics so I doodled them and used this as an excuse#sneakers the boxhog#mad hedge dead#the little goobers#don’t know why I’ve procrastinated prismatic parallel so much#I definitely got the drawings just not the motivation#To draw the Big and Rusty or to not draw the Big and Rusty#that is the question#and mad hedge dead is throwing a curveball at me#It’s trying to take over my mind space yet again#sorry about the rambles#have a nice weekend y’all
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