#my judgement of mainstream was what i can remember

[copperbadge]

RE watching thoughts: I’m not 100% sure, but it might be that the whole “I am not my thoughts” is about engaging and identifying with your metacognition MORE than your initial thoughts. Because I get where you’re coming from - what is a consciousness but a collection of thoughts and feelings? But you can also have thoughts about your own thoughts that are more useful for dealing with whatever situation you’re in, I guess. (Random aside - every time I start thinking about thinking about thinking my brain inevitably starts thinking about Tiffany Aching and The Wee Free Men.)

I really should have replied to this ask sooner because it's going to seem like a non-sequitur now (this was sent much earlier in March) but I'm kind of glad I didn't, because I've been chatting with people about this and I think I understand more why there's an emphasis in some therapies on the idea that we are not our thoughts.

(I uh, haven't read the Tiffany books so I'm not much help there.)

I am coming to understand that many, perhaps most, people judge themselves, comprehensively and harshly, based on their thoughts. Perhaps it's just a lot of people who struggle with mental health, but given the commonality of the sentiment I don't know if I'd confine it that tightly; generally it appears that people cannot conceive of themselves as anything other than a binary of good or bad. So many people I've talked to about this portion of DBT, the watching-questioning-identifying thoughts portion, say that it helps to snap them out of a spiral of "I'm a horrible person, I deserve to suffer/die, I can never be redeemed" after they've failed at something, or had a negative thought, or reacted poorly to an unexpected event.

That is not something I've ever experienced. I mean, jokingly maybe, but not in a real, internal sense.

And that's not to brag -- I'm not saying I think I'm a good person, either, because I don't think I'm a good person. I don't conceive of myself in terms of good or bad. I never cuddle my cats and think "I'm such a good cat dad" or forget to feed them and think "I should die now." I have a perpetual morally neutral attitude towards my own existence; my thoughts and actions might trend me one direction or another but I'm aware of the temporary nature of that. If I fuck up I'll worry about who I might have hurt or whether I'll be fired or what's going to happen as a consequence, if I am polite to someone who didn't deserve it I know I was acting kindly in the moment, but I don't make an inherent moral judgement of myself based on that. And it seems like the vast majority of people do. Which you would think would make me feel pretty good about myself, but honestly...I don't know.

A lot of people I know who have ADHD or are Autistic have talked about seeing themselves as other, as alien -- like that one webcomic artist who draws themself with little antennae to indicate they're strange and different. I've always understood why one might do that, but I never felt that way myself, before or after the diagnosis. After all, let's remember, I was The Normal* Child of my siblings, and if I was The Normal One before the diagnosis, why wouldn't I remain Mostly Normal after?

* As ever, I'm using "normal" as a cultural term, to indicate what we think of as mainstream, not because normal is a thing that really exists.

My life has been relatively solitary -- I have friends and family and I love them but I'm rarely part of a large group, I don't spend a lot of time out in public interacting with people, I'm not a big socializer. Before the Adderall, I really couldn't be, I took too much psychic damage from interpersonal interaction, so I chose those very carefully. And now my DBT class has been a rare moment when I'm encountering contradictions to a lot of my assumptions about the way human beings in our society interact, react, and behave. I just...don't fit that mold very well. I think of it as having crossed wiring, not in the sense that I'm faulty but just in the sense that I'm very, very different. Not Normal. It's not exactly a bad feeling but it's certainly not a great one, internalizing the sensation of alienness.

DBT is proving to be a mixed bag but not in the way I or my therapist intended -- it seems to be either things I was already instinctively doing or things that simply do not apply to me. In one way it's disappointing because it means there isn't much help to be had (we're a little over halfway through the course and I keep thinking "Maybe next class will be useful") but on the other hand it's validating that so much of what I came up with myself as unconscious coping mechanisms is literally what I would have been told to do anyway.

Sometimes it's a combination of both, though, which really blows. I guess most people, if they reframe another person's actions, actually find emotional relief in that, and I don't. An example from the class is that if someone is rude to you, you can consider how they might be having a hard day, and be polite in return; that's great, in terms of defusing a situation, and it's something I do a fair amount of. But apparently it's also something that for most people results in feeling less awful about the interaction, and that's not the case for me. Which is why so much of DBT feels to me like lying to oneself. It's not lying for most people.

So, yeah. I'm going to finish out the course and keep trying things with the therapist but I suspect given everything, I might already be at "as good as it gets" in terms of emotional work. Which isn't the worst thing in the world, and there is still the option to try medication that could help, but I think there will come a point where I'm going to have to deal with the fallout of just how different I am, and how that has impacted my life. Might end up a good thing; something I've really been trying to resolve is unhappiness over being unpartnered and highly likely to remain that way, and at least if this provides a better understanding of why, then perhaps I can process that and put it to rest in a way I've been trying to do but not succeeding well at.

So, we'll see. But I find it both fascinating and kind of horrifying how many people can believe they are irredeemably bad, even if the belief is only temporary, simply because they had an uncharitable thought or impulse. It makes me somewhat grateful for the crossed wires, at least.

[jq37]

Are we sure Sandralynn wasn't cursed with like. Shit taste?

It's def a real mixed bag, though I think besides Bobby it's more just wild choices than straight up bad choices.

Bobby Dawn: Regular Freak. Liar, Frumpy, Wrong. Cheated on his wife and then ruined another woman's life over it. This is not a a ranking so I'm not giving him a score but I almost wish it was so I could give him a comically low number. Actually, there aren't any rules here. I still can. Negative infinity and kick rocks. If I was Sandra Lynn's friend I would be *begging* for her to love herself (or at least have a better sense of self preservation) and RUN GIRL.

Gilear Faeth: Gilear was a successful, hot elf before his loser energy kicked in because of his curse. Wasn't he like a diplomat or something? Like, Gilear now is a loveable loser but Gilear then was probably kind of a catch. And hell, Fabian's mom likes loser Gilear and she's a pretty hot commodity herself. As Sandra Lynn's friend I would be doing cartwheels if she moved on from Bobby to be with Gilear. 1000% improvement. And, for what it's worth, so is loser Gilear. Most guys would be frankly.

Gorthalax: Def seems a bit reactionary to go from a cleric of Sol to one of Sol's fallen angels turned devils. But Gorthalax is a nice guy from what we've seen and as a devil of gluttony he prob can conjure up some killer date night food. I think that if I could get over the shock of him being a MAJOR DEVIL, as Sandra Lynn's friend, I could warm to the idea. And he's not Bobby Dawn so instant improvement. However, as there was infidelity involved this would be another GIRL WHAT? reaction from me. But again, less about the guy himself, more about the decision to cheat.

Jawbone: OK so the thing about Jawbone is that I think he's great and a super good person and he's Brennan's semi-self insert so of course I love him. But he would also be an insane person to know IRL. Like, the stories he tells so casually. I think I'd be like, uh are you sure about this one? But he seems to have at least mostly chilled out now that he's working with kids and I think he's a really great guy. There's maybe a risk of contracting Lycanthropy but I'm sure they're using whatever protection you use for that. Solid guy as long as you're cool with his past.

Garthy: When Garthy was introduced, 80% of the fandom was instantly thirsting over them so objectively, "Garthy is hot" is a pretty mainstream opinion. And even if you (like myself) were in the 20% of people not thirsting over them, they're still very clearly a good person between raising Ayda and being super into self care (I loved the scene with them and Mercer's char in PoL). Also they're just really cool conceptually. So again, very normal person for Sandra Lynn to wanna hook up with. The problem, once again, is the infidelity. Especially because Jawbone was willing to have an open relationship! He closed the relationship for her! She took an L here for no reason!

So, to recap: shitty guy, good guy (who was cursed), devil (who is a good guy* and also an affair partner), good guy (with a wild past), and hot pirate (who is a good person* and also an affair partner).

*I don't remember if they knew Sandra Lynn was in a relationship when they were hooking up with her and am not factoring that into my judgement.

Besides Bobby Dawn, the rest of her choices were pretty OK (unless I'm forgetting stuff). Wild and with no obvious connecting thread--she absolutely has a rogue's gallery to rival Batman's--but it seems like the problems she had with relationships came down more to stuff other than, "She picked an objectively bad guy."

She really has the most inconsistent taste ever. I can't even begin to categorize what her type is. Gilear and Garthy should never been on any list together besides, "NPCs with G names."

[fanaticsnail]

Hello, snail! Thank you for spoiling us with your writing!! You're too talented and I'm always so happy when you pop up on my dash!!

I have a question/request for advice if you ever find yourself willing to give it. I'm in my late 20's and I haven't felt comfortable telling my new partner about my love of fanfiction and extreme hyperfixation on anime (they know I like it, but not to the extent that I do). How did you feel comfortable sharing or were you and your chef-husband always comfortable? I'm worried if I tell him, he won't be interested in me anymore as they aren't a nerd like me.

First of all, hello!! Thank you for your beautiful words and compliments on my writing. I do love this hobby and I adore sharing my words with you on here.

Thank you so much for your ask! I am in the final year of my 20s and I have been celebrating going into my 'nerdy 30' with a bit of insanity. "One fic per day for 30 days" was going to be my prompt leading up to it, but then I thought: "nah, I can do more."

I am going to add a page break, because I realised just how much I have to say about it. It is very much a personal glimpse into my life, and I hope it helps you. I'm not a relationship coach, this is just my experience.

Tldr: I love this community, and so does chef-husband.

Congratulations on your new partner! All the freshness and excitement being there with the newness is so much fun. I've been with chef-husband for 11 years now. I met him when I was eighteen, and we both worked at our 'Baratie'. I do talk about that often, and I adore writing fics for that restaurant because it just feels like home for me, but I won't linger for too long on it.

Aside from working together, we bonded over our love for music and pop culture. Death Note was one of the things that really got us both talking, and I gifted him a small plush notebook attached to a small apple, never knowing that it would be on a little mantle in our house together 11 years later.

Our tastes in anime differed a little: him with Crying Freeman, and Neon Genesis Evangelion - me with Naruto and Kuroshitsuji, but Death Note (and now JJK) was a series we both loved. Same with Ghibli. Being nerdy or geeky was one of the things that felt magnetic in our conversation, but our other nerdy interests differ.

Encouragement to Write

My husband has always wanted me to express my thoughts through writing. He wanted me to write before I even had the inkling of wanting to. When I dream, I experience full-fledged plots with twists and turns - usually science fiction with thriller tendencies.

When I say: "So, I had a dream last night", chef is already boiling the kettle, making the coffees and sat at the table while I tell him point for point what happens. Silly, but it was something that we did before we had the babies together.

Writing Fanfiction

So, I know this feeling intimately. Telling someone "So, I read and write fanfiction for fun" is still so taboo in mainstream. The one thing that changed this for me, and I talk about this a lot too, was my sister. Growing up secretly reading fanfiction was one of my hobbies because "oh my gosh, there's more? There can be more? AAAAAA". I never really wrote anything back then, not really knowing how to articulate the words I wanted to on paper or on the screen.

But back to the main point: my sister.

Sitting beside her years ago, her on her phone scrolling through her screen, I remember asking her: "what are you doing?" and, without skipping a beat, she responded with two words that really shocked me:

"Reading fanfiction."

Like, with no little blush, no fear of judgement, no little inflections of speech to indicate any signs of embarrassment. It was that easy. Simply "reading fanfiction." Immediately, I followed up with: "Oh? Who for? Canon x OC, x reader stuff, just a main character doing canon divergent stuff?" and she filled me in. I loved her for that. Healed my inner reclusive teenager huddled over an 'x reader' fic.

Last year, I remember sending her a message asking: "So... If I was to start writing fanfiction, would you read it?" and she immediately was like: "WHAT FANDOM, WITH WHO, YES SIS, GET IT GURL, WHAT ARE WE DOING?" and I filled her in the way she filled me in years ago. And so, I started writing for 'x reader'.

Telling Chef-husband I write fanfiction

Once the kids went to bed, all the chores done, him in his shed making miniature terrains for his RC cars, I was sitting merrily at my desk with a glass of wine writing my silly little stories for my silly little guys.

There was one moment where he came in from outside covered in paints and motor oils, and he was like: "whatcha working on?" and I froze. I assumed he was thinking "Oh, she's writing from her nightmares again", I enjoy open communication - so I just said it plainly:

"Writing Fanfiction."

He kind of had this little chuckle in his tone, reaching for the bar fridge and getting a beer. Popping the steel cap from the glass top, he just went: "oh yeah? For which character?"

No little judgement, mild curiosity on my words, having a little glimpse over my shoulder at the screen and him just being like: "Huh. The clown, right? Nice." When he left to go back outside to his hobby, I remember him just laughing with, "Let me know if you need any inspo for Sanji, babe. I've got you covered."

I remember texting my sister: "Chef knows I write fanfiction" and she responded very Gen Z with: "BAHAHAHA" followed up with "how did that go?" and I just told her the truth.

I know not all experiences are like mine, and having a partner that doesn't share the same interests and loving media that you do is daunting. Chef-husband and my marriage isn't perfect, but I knew he was my person from the way he interacted with my other hobbies: D&D, RPGs, comic books, and now writing fanfiction. I also show interest in his: RC cars/planes/drones, Warhammer, and tinkering with his puzzles and collections.

Just so you're aware, and I hope you don't mind, I asked him what he thought about people who read and write fanfiction as soon as I got this ask. He read it on my phone, and said very offhandedly:

"Like, they don't have to read or like the same things (anon) do. Anime is nothing to be ashamed of, and having someone being like: 'yeah, I'm breaking up with you because you're too nerdy' is such a shit thing to do. If (anon) is made to feel shame about something they like from someone they love, then they're a shit person to begin with and not worth pursuing."

That's chef-husband.

Chef-husband also told his boss that I read and write fanfiction, because he knew his boss also reads fanfiction. Pretty sure she reads my stuff on AO3, and I get all blushy when I think about that.

The moral of the story here that, from one passionate fanfic reader to another, whichever way this goes for you regarding confessing your interest to your partner - know you've got snail and chef-husband in Australia letting you know that you're not alone. There is a whole community here that loves and supports your joy, and I hope it all goes well for you.

I'm sorry for the long read, but I hope you appreciate a large glimpse into who I am. So much love for you, anon 🖤

Tagging @since-im-already-here because she's the reason I'm here.

[oftlunarialmoon]

Going Against the Current – Royals Lesson!

Originally posted to www.onlyfunthings.org on August 29, 2018

Ciao Royals! Today’s lesson is about something that can be difficult- going against the current. It can be hard to do something that doesn’t mesh with the mainstream trends or social norms. Today we’re going to talk about why it’s perfectly fine to go against the norms and how to feel more confident doing your own thing.

Recently I felt pressured to change myself and my blog to fit in with norms. I felt like I had to do things like dress “normal” and make my blog into a place for only serious topics. But I knew deep down that isn’t who I am. (Not that there’s anything wrong with those things. They just aren’t me). And though I felt pressured to change, I knew I just couldn’t change myself so much and be happy.

Truth is, real happiness can come from just being who you are inside. You will only feel miserable if you try to change yourself to meet other’s standards. Be true to yourself, because the real you is amazing and perfect and wonderful just how you are.

But it can be hard to reject these norms being forced on you, and it can be scary to be yourself. How can we build the confidence to be ourselves in a world that tries to break us down?

OFT has some resources on confidence, including:

-How to Have Confidence without Tearing Others Down

-Why You Should Stop Saying “Sorry” For Everything

-5 Ways to Love Yourself

And these may help you in your journey, but today we’re talking specifically about how to combat the pressures of society and your peers to conform.

Tip #1- Surround yourself with friends who love you for who you are.

It can be seriously awful when the criticism you face for being yourself is coming from those close to you, so make sure to surround yourself with people who love you for your true self. Throughout high school I had friends who didn’t really like me for who I was, they tried to change me and make me into what they wanted for me. Some of them liked who I was at first, but later when I grew as a person and learned new things about life, and wanted to change some of my behaviors, they didn’t like me anymore. But now I’ve surrounded myself with loving and supportive peers who support my dreams and platonically love me for who I am. 

Tip #2- Be kind, no matter what.

There will be people who will be judgmental of you even if you are kind, but kindness is truly the way to combat judgement. I admit I have difficulty with this sometimes, like if I’m dressed up in my usual somewhat eccentric fashion and somebody stares at me, I have a hard time making myself smile back instead of glare. It can be very, very hard to combat judgement with kindness. But if you can manage it, in the end you will be happier for it.

Tip #3- Have some music you can turn to.

Music is a powerful thing. And in times of darkness, confusion, sadness, or anything else, I like to turn to music. Some of my favorite songs for building confidence are:

-          Dancing’s Not a Crime by Panic! At The Disco

-          High Hopes by Panic! At The Disco

-          Thunder by Imagine Dragons

-          Whatever It Takes by Imagine Dragons

-          SING by My Chemical Romance

-          Legend by The Score

-          Unstoppable by The Score

-          Higher by The Score

-          Centuries by Fall Out Boy

-          Burn by Ellie Goulding

Remember, inside of you is a brilliant light. Don’t let anyone dim it. Don’t let society’s norms dim your shining, brilliant light. (For more on the topic of a brilliant light inside you that you shouldn’t let dim, check out this article !)

Thank you so much for reading today, royals. I hope you can use this advice to find your way in the ocean of life and not get swept up in the undertow of societal opinion.

Remember to Stay Awesome and Love Yourself!

[wine4thewin]

I absolutely love your fanfiction (especially your JJK fics). I want to ask if you have ever had to overcome "shame" or self-judgement with writing what you want? I have so many stories or concepts that I want to write but often feel too guilty or self-conscious to get them onto paper.

When I look at fanfiction, I think that is the one place to be as self-indulgent as you want with writing…but also to learn and practice! I can still remember 19 years ago when I first posted a fic and it was awful, but I didn’t care, I was having fun doing something I loved 🤣

I always write what I want to read and I personally don’t care if it isn’t anyone else’s cup of tea. I make it very clear if a story is going to be dark (or if it isn’t). This allows people to make their own choices on reading. That said, it’s very important that you write what you are interested in, because if you write to “please other people”, you will be unhappy and your writing will be without a heart 💔

Small story on writing what you love.

Once upon a time, there was an indie author who wrote stories I vibed hard with. She created a unique, eerie, gothic fantasy world full of dark subject matters and tough relationships. I wrote to her as a fan, and we ended up becoming penpals across oceans through our shared love of writing. We spoke for a few years until she told me she wanted to move away from her darker series / stories because they weren’t making big enough money; she figured she needed to go mainstream. I was saddened, but understood and supported her. She needed to do what was best. Ultimately, she removed all her stories from Kindle. We eventually lost touch, though I still have her books and love them. She never quite ramped up on writing mainstream, because I don’t think that’s what she truly loved 🥲

What am I getting at here? Don’t worry about judgement. You are the only one to hold yourself back. Fanfiction is the place you can have all sorts of journeys and trials and errors! I use it as my place to get as “freaky” as I want. However, when it comes to original writing and indie publishing, I do observe there are things I shy away from since it could be too risqué for the average traditional reader who can only handle HEA endings or fluffy wholesome romance…but I still cling tight to the dark themes I enjoy, because that’s what I like…and some people seek that too!

I would say if you are nervous about posting, restrict your stories to registered users only. That can keep rude anons away if you’re afraid of someone being an internet troll. Or forget about posting and just focus on the act of writing what’s in your head! Stop worrying about ridicule, no one is sitting on your shoulder watching you (unless you are like Kronk below)!

If anything pops up in my head, anything at all, I write it down on my phone if I’m on the go. Do I struggle with my own anal retentive, hard type-A, perfectionist personality at times? Yes. I won’t write because I don’t think I’ll do it good enough. But if I force myself to just shut up and write the most bare bone thing that pops up and I come look at it later and want to write more detail, to flesh it out, I’ve already won. I’ve beaten my own negativity. I wrote something I wanted to -read- more of.

…and so if you sit down and write whatever few lines or a scene in your head, you will probably come back in a day or a week, add more to it, and be so happy to read what you wrote, because you wrote what you wanted to read. You need to write for yourself first.

Seriously. It works. I have tons of WIP original fiction on my computer that I’ll sit and read and think damn it, I love it, I wish some bitch would finish this story 🤣 the bitch is me, I’m the bitch

[ereemos]

my not-so-comprehensive list (very personal 3am opinion) on books about how to deal with someone with bpd (i’m sure this is applicable to other conditions)

it’s very difficult to deal with a mentally ill oved one, and no matter how much suffering they’re in, the pain it causes those around them is not to be discounted.

this pain can stem from not understanding certain behaviours, fear for their loved one’s wellbeing, seeing someone act violently towards others or themselves, powerlessness, etc.

i whole heartedly believe that these people deserve support too, and that their experience is valid and important to verbalise.

either way, sometimes this can be taken to the extreme, where the person suffering for their loved one starts feeling like “the real victim” and this creates extra stigma, this post being about bpd, an already incredibly stigmatised disorder (both in and out of the medical community).

how do i support my loved one with bpd, or find resources to help myself get through this situation, or understand my loved one better, without falling for evil-bpd-manipulator-woman-propaganda?

look no further! i’ve read enough bpd self help book for loved ones, to be able to tell you what to look out for. i’m sure there’s good ones out there, haven’t seen a single one though ! hah! (only because my mum buys them btw, i promise they exist)

WHAT TO LOOK OUT FOR … in a shitty book

- “most cases of bpd are caused by childhood trauma, but not your child, you are a good parent” books that use this sort of language seem more like they’re trying to reassure someone who is, most likely, a contributing factor to their child’s bpd

when the book is more about self help than it is about therapy… any book framed as self help, i’d stray from. you are not qualified to talk about bpd in this setting.

when the actual victim seems to be treated as an abuser, or written about like an annoying ex who won’t stop texting you, miiight be a sign someone doesn’t care about how people are treated, just wants to make their readers like they need a cuddle.

when they start talking about wanting to expand bpd criteria and diagnosing bpd in minors - why are you talking about this in a self help book - you’re spreading medical misinformation by mixing official diagnostic criteria with your own personal (BIASED) theories, seems like every patient you don’t like has bpd…

w hen the main “how to help a bpd sufferer” is just “give up on trying to help them, they’ll never amount to anything, think about yourself” HUH

too much personal judgement . you’re writing about a disorder .

look at the authors bibliography! are they self help authors who have written nothing other than “how to leave your ex boyfriend behind” “how to be happy in 10 steps” or maybe actual doctors whose mainstream published works include “how my bpd wife ruined my life” “the real victims of bpd” etc???

personal pet peeve, but people talk about bpd patients as only being women. rubs me the wrong way, especially, with the bod/hysteria parallels.

emphasis on either fixing the patient or cutting ties with them/ letting them live an unfulfilling life “because that’s just how they are”

(tl;dr keep away from self help books, as a society we have moved past the need of self help book-capitalism--self-affirming-pseudo therapy)

RESOURCES TO HELP YOURSELF OR A LOVED ONE WITH BPD

DBT !!! there’s so many free resources out there, exercises, pdfs etc, its really worth looking into!

research BPD on your own, looking at multiple sources, both medical and personal experiences, and remember that if you’ve been abused by someone with a cluster b personality disorder, that doesn’t make everyone with the same illness a monster

readings that emphasise on how to deal with situations (still, DBT is useful for this), how to de-escalate a meltdown by behaving empathetically, protecting your peace and your loved one’s, rather than trying to “fix” them.

it is important to hold people accountable for their actions: people with bpd are people, not just victims. Having tough conversations w sufferers can be hard. consider contacting an actual therapist, when things are too much to handle.

there is no shame in going no contact if the person is genuinely abusive, or dealing w them is beyond your abilities. you are not their psychiatrist.

keep in mind that psychology and psychiatry and constantly evolving, and what is a diagnosis today may be laughable in 10 years time ! (just look at the history of bpd)

this post was specifically written for my mother but i just had to put it out there i hate self help books i hate them it’s so much worse than telling me “have you tried yoga?” because yoga actually helps, unlike self help books, which are making psychology and mental illness a big soup of buzzwords to pick out and capitalise on! hmm what will it be today? narcissistic abuse? how to handle your autistic child? soooo sick and tired . stop making money off of me. give me money if you want but stop exploiting disordered individuals.

thanks for reading, sorry for the long post/ramble, it’s 3am

[beefy-babe-showdown]

Look okay I gotta do a little propaganda for my beloved She Ra after seeing all the hate she's getting.

So many are complaining she isn't drawn with as *defined* musculature but that varies from shot to shot and they are either forgetting or simply don't know that she's 8 FEET TALL

like 50% of the characters in the show have Gay Panic when they see her for the first time because she's an amazonian princess of beef. Regardless of drawing, she is consistently Portrayed as having super strength.

Adora (not She Ra form) is toned muscles; She Ra, Scorpia, and Huntara are very much portrayed as the beefcakes of the show-- the animation style does not focus on drawing their muscles most of the time (even scorpia, who is referred to as "the muscle" at a key moment is not typically drawn with that defined muscle 90% of the time--the She Ra creators understand the power of serving Beef at key narrative moments).

and a more general note--Seeing all these angry comments about "not beefy enough women making it into the tournament and sweeping" feels uncomfortably gatekeepy and like. i Acknowledge that there is a bias towards "thinner" characters but we're all here to celebrate beefy women and I for one am thrilled that a show like the newer She-Ra where the protag is a woman with super strength can be mainstream

final note: "she's winning bc of the tumblrinas" ARE WE NOT ALL ON TUMBLR??? cmon yall there's no such thing as a cool Tumblr user

asking on anon tho bc I'm V anxious

no you make great points anon really. and part of it, at least on the picture end, is my fault, I asked for pictures in the submissions simply bc I don't have the time to be tracking down the best picture of every candidate and I also can't know every media with a woman nominated so I figured someone familiar with their pick would have a better chance picking out a good picture where the woman looks acceptably than I would. but I've literally seen she ra and I forgot there's pictures where she looks beefier lmao. like she literally gets an upgrade to the she ra form in s5 that looks way beefier than the picture I used and I just remembered that earlier today like I really feel bad about it.

also I totally get what you're saying about it being sort of gatekeepy bc like. yeah!! a lot of women who are definitely strong and categorically muscular in the media they're in just aren't portrayed/drawn as looking that big!! like one of my top picks for this bracket was korra, who I absolutely would've described as beefy, but compared to a few of the entrants she looks disappointing!! and she's really not!! hence why I was sort of just like "hmm if they're a brawler and they look like it then they can go".

anyway yeah the "bias towards 'thinner' women" thing on this poll is like. I'm sure there could be something there but I also don't feel like my poll is the right place to be getting the stats for those sorts of societal judgements y'know. especially since there could be a variety of factors. like just. popularity of the media. like am I really gonna blame people for voting their favorite character in the vote your favorite character poll

[thepilotanon]

I meant Adam from (Only Lovers Left Alive) 😅 I should’ve said that instead of mentioning just vampire

That's okay! It's my fault I didn't recognize the character, so it's a my bad.

Can you do friendship headcaons for Adam with a regular human who knows he’s a vampire please?

I think Adam would do well with a friend who would ask genuine questions about his collections of gadgets, pictures, instruments, and knickknacks he owns and just wants to learn about them and his interests. It's probably the only way to get Adam to talk for hours and breaking things down for you to understand and get excited when you make the connection. When you arrive with your own homemade invention (no matter how little or simple it may seem to you), Adam is very impressed and proud and doesn't hesitate to celebrate with you by getting you your favorite take-out and watching a movie (even though he hates the smell of take-out).

Speaking of take-out, Adam is rather protective of your well-being and health - especially with how he complains that "zombies" are slowly wasting away decent blood supplies. Adam doesn't drink from you at all, but he still wants you to be healthy long enough for you two to keep spending time together while you live. He doesn't restrict you from things you like all the time, but he's adamant on portions and keeping moderation in check. I can also see Adam being really good at cooking? He makes everything from scratch and would probably make your favorite meals his way that's ten times healthier and tastes amazing.

I can see Adam asking you questions of things he sees happen on the news, or whatever entertainment is mainstream. He doesn't understand why or what the appeal is for it, but he trusts your judgement and opinion to help him start to understand what "zombies" find joy in. He would never make fun of your interests, of course, but he will question it and you have to be prepared for his list of highly detailed, mind-probing inquiries.

Adam tells the best stories, in my opinion. Ask him of anything during a specific time era and 99% of the time Adam would have been there (or he would ask Eve, if he remembers that she was there, and request a detailed letter so he can relay it correctly). Sometimes, even if he wasn't exactly there, he always has an entertaining story of what he was up to during that time, or something he had witnessed - particularly dealing with automotives, flycrafts, and fairs presenting inventions.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

STARTUPS AND EVERYTHING

In the best case. If you know you have a meeting in an hour, you don't even start working on a program, it's more efficient to work in. The first hint I had that teachers weren't omniscient came in sixth grade, after my father contradicted something I'd learned in school. There's always something coming on the next hour; the only question is what. Perl also retains this distinction, but deals with it in typical Perl fashion by letting you omit returns. Every engraver since Durer has had to live in his shadow. Few realize that this also describes a flaw in the way of the future.

Fortran I because you could not nest statements. The surprising thing is how many, and how likely they are to their standard m. What this means for us, as people interested in the question, how do you design a good programming language? The next generation of business computer. I know that naming companies is a distinct skill orthogonal to the ones used in convincing investors, just as we do a birthmark. It didn't seem to harm us. I hardly ever go back and read stuff I write down in notebooks. And since one person can only manage so many deals, each deal has to be treated as a threat to a company's survival. I'm not saying that you want to know what they're doing, their lawyers can't. The most famous example is Google, which initially made money by licensing search to sites like Yahoo.

The typical stove has four burners arranged in a square like the burners. Though novice investors seem unthreatening they can be. The more people who have to like a new idea, the more willing they seem to be facing off in a kind of limit that mainstream languages are approaching asymptotically—does that mean you should actually use it to write software? VCs that founders hate. I used to think I wanted to know everything. When Lisp first appeared, these ideas were far removed from ordinary programming practice, which was discovered in 1960 and is still the fastest general-purpose sort. The worst case scenario is the long no, the no that comes after months of meetings. The famous scientists I remember were Einstein, Marie Curie, and George Washington Carver with Einstein misled us not only about science, but it's not part of any specific science; it's literally meta-physics in our sense of meta.

The most dangerous thing about investors is their indecisiveness. If you look at these languages in order, Java, and Visual Basic—it is not clear whether you can actually solve this problem in other languages, of course. The biggest startup ideas are. There is no core of knowledge one must master. The latest intellectual property laws impose unprecedented restrictions on the sort of people will tell you that you should keep working on your startup. Whatever you make will have to stop and pant for a while to grasp this, but reacted simply by not studying philosophy, rather than carry a single unnecessary ounce. I don't mean that languages have to be done? A of the Metaphysics implies that philosophy should be useful too.

It will seem preposterous to future generations that we wait till patients have physical symptoms to be diagnosed with cancer. Telling a child they have a particular ethnic or religious identity is one of those ideas that's like an irresistible force meeting an immovable object. Macros in the Lisp sense are still, as far as I can tell it isn't. But in Lisp the functions and macros I wrote were just like those that made up the language itself. Cultivate them. Doctors discovered that several of his arteries were over 90% blocked to learn that the world is quiet and warm and safe. Complaining that VCs were jerks. In the movie Wall Street, Gordon Gekko ridicules a company overloaded with vice presidents.

Older societies told kids they had bad judgement, but modern parents want their children to be confident. So if one group abandons this territory, there will also be a need for such infrastructure companies. How could I have missed something so obvious for so long. Most parents use words when talking to other adults that they wouldn't want their kids using. The best way to handle a frightened 10 year old bothers me so much is not just that he'd be annoying, but that it's so much harder than they expected. It didn't work out as I'd hoped. For someone on the maker's schedule? Partly because some companies use mechanisms to prevent copying. And since no one is going to visit Greylock, the famous Boston VCs. I read it out loud and fix everything that doesn't sound like conversation. This leads to the phenomenon known in the Valley. Certainly, people who want a deep understanding of what you're doing.

Users don't need benchmarks to run fast. An optimization marketplace would be a shortcut straight to wisdom. But when you do something so clever that you somehow beat the system, that's also called a hack. There must be a better solution. In past times people lied to kids about: they're the questions you answer Ask your parents. To be fixed. The buildings are old though increasingly they are being torn down and replaced with generic McMansions and the trees are tall. His answer was simply no. Naming is a completely separate skill from those you need to, but to study it as an act of rebellion against the organizations that employ them. How could I have missed something so obvious for so long. Our generation wants to get paid up front.

The most interesting question here may be what high res fundraising will do to the world of programming languages, a lot of the worst ones were designed for other people to use. And isn't popularity to some extent its own justification? Not just to solve the problem in Python, writing either def foo n: s n def bar i: s 0 i return s 0 return bar Python users might legitimately ask why they can't just write def foo n: lambda i: n i and my guess is that the spinal cord has the situation under control. In the best case, though. I had several motives, some more honorable than others. I'll do without books. That must also mystify outsiders. Now that I've seen parents managing the subject, I can work in noisy places. Meetings cost them more. If you leave a project for a few months ago we replaced it with an iMac bolted to the wall. I've found that whenever I've been able to write the software that made them want to buy us. Have low expectations.

Thanks to Bob Frankston, Trevor Blackwell, and Travis Deyle for reading a previous draft.

[disorganizedkitten]

Miracle Fighters

Miraculous Ladybug | 2019 | 1,968 | Ao3 | Next

“Using misdirection? How unlawful!” Riposte went after the right one, who dodged the hit and brought his baton towards her head. Riposte moved out of the way, but the left one threw a hit too. She blocked it, but between trying to keep herself safe from two attackers and the clouding of judgement that came from the Akuma serum, Riposte was completely open for Alya to walk up behind her and whack her with the abandoned Guitar.

“That is for Nino,” she snapped, watching Riposte crumple.

“You move fast,” Adrien noted.

“So, what should we do our mythology project on? I think the history of dragons around the world would be interesting.”

The redhead's parter hummed. “I don't know, dragons are a bit mainstream, and I don't want to lose points for lack of originality.”

He narrowed his eyes slightly. “Do you have something else in mind, or just not dragons?”

The brunette smiled, “Have you ever heard of the Miracle fighters?”

“No, what are they?”

“They’re immortals, only surfacing to fight demons and magic. You can find trace of them almost anywhere, if you look enough.” she tapped her throat coyly. “I just so happen to be an expert.”

Two rows in front of them, another brunet turned to his partner. “What do you think Nette, should we do our project on the Miracle fighters too?”

‘Nette’s’ deskmate snorted, pausing her own conversation to cut in. “Why, so you can both lose points for lack of originality?”

They both stuck their toungues out. “I don’t know, Nino,” ‘Nette’ shrugged, doing an abysmal job at hiding her smirk. “It’d be a little weird if the self-proclaimed expert doesn’t know as much as two or four random classmates.”

The other three laughed, each failing in their own degree to stifle it.

“That’s the problem with self-proclaimed experts. ” The brunette flicked the other’s cap, narrowing her eyes as she leaned back on her chair. “They never check their info against someone else.”

“Truer words have never been spoken.”

“Actually, I’m pretty sure sometime around the 12th Egyptian dynasty a certain Miracle Fighter said something to the tune of-”

“Anyway!” the blond cut in quickly, trying to bring the conversation back to the actual topic before he was embarrassed. ‘Nette’ laughed as he continued. “What are we doing?”

“What about the Fou Follet?!” Alya asked right away.

“The what?”

“They’re a version of will-o-wisp, Adrien,” Nino informed. “Nette, what about changelings?”

“That or Sidhe,” Marinette nodded.

“Perfect! We can fill each other plum full of Irish-”

“Or Creole,” Alya interjected forcibly.

“Yes, and/or Creole mythology facts around missions.”

Marinette yawned. “Sounds great. But I want a nap first.”

“Mood,” Alya yawned in response, leaning onto Marinette’s shoulder.

“Alright Sleeping beauties, let’s vacate the school before you two collapse.”

Adrien slammed his fist into the door. “You have got to be kidding me!” he turned around, rubbing his forehead. “Again. I’m really off my game.”

“We’re not out of the running yet,” Marinette said, barely panting as she surveyed the area. “There’s no way they had enough time to cut off all exits.”

“The open exit runs back where we just came from, and trying to loop around will take ages. They'll be gone by the time we make it over, and even then the stabilizers are going to be off.”

Marinette tutted lightly. “Think outside the box, remember? Can you give me a boost?”

Adrien shrugged, but obliged, bending down so she could climb onto his shoulders. Marinette scrambled up, caught her balance, and then jumped off his shoulders. She slammed a hook into the barred window, and hung off it. The window bent under her weight, slowly at first, and then completely peeling away and dropping her into Adrien's waiting arms.

“Nice thinking, Buginette.”

“Thank you.”

Adrien tossed her again, and Marinette latched onto the windowsill this time. She shimmied through, cursing the fluffy skirts of the 1700s -at least she wasn't trying in a 1850s skirt! That would be downright impossible - and somersaulted into the hallway. Marinette started to dismantle the lock, but gave up a second in, completely prying the mechanism out of the door.

“M’lady, you’re the best,” Adrien smiled.

Marinette nodded. “I know that, now come on. We still have an akuma to catch, an object to swipe, and then teammates to check on.” she cracked her knuckles, and then the two of them took off.

The building the akuma had led them too was a stereotypical movie maze-atory, hallways that led nowhere, winding around the building to hide where the real rooms were. None of the Miracle fighters disagreed when Plagg had huffed about the obvious discrepancy they had missed during the building’s construction. How would architects build this in the 1700s? And why would they think it was a good use of resources? Footsteps echoed across the hallways as the two timetravelers ran, the low heels on the tiles emphasizing the noise.

Marinette pivot-hopped around a corner, pausing a few feet in for Adrien to slam a vortex stabilizer into the wall, before they were both off again.

The Akuma organization dated back to.. well, they hadn’t figured that out yet. The problem with time travel was that they could go backwards and establish themselves in any time they wish, and since the Miracle fighters (someone in 1200 AD had coined the name, and it stuck) hadn’t caught on to Akuma’s meddling until they were rooted enough to change history, the Miracles didn’t actually know where to look. So they were stuck chasing the heads with flamethrowers, since they couldn’t cut it off before they split.

“Eat blade!”

Adrien and Marinette dove to the side, caught off guard. Of course Riposte and Guitar laid a trap.

“Sorry, I'm allergic to steel,” Adrien quipped. Marinette could hear his baton extending, and she pulled out her bandalore too.

“You take Riposte, I take Guitar?”

“Already on it, M'lady!”

Marinette nodded, and threw the yo-yo out. It twisted around the guitar - Why wouldn’t Guitar Villain fight with a guitar? That made sense in the grand scheme of things. Not. Then again, neither did Akuma.

Guitar hollered, trying to yank the weapon out of the string.

“It's not that easy to snap magic, now is it?” Marinette taunted, loosening the string as he stumbled forward. She dashed to a wall, sticking her tongue out as she leaned casually against it.

Guitar snarled and rushed at her, a shout that had something to do with feeling the music echoing off the walls. Marinette braced herself, and leapt onto his shoulders as he tried to crush her.

A well placed heel strike - that hopefully didn't cause any bleeding, these heels were sharp - and he was down.

Marinette rolled off the body as it came down, landing daintily. She looked up, finding Adrien and Riposte still trading blows. She stood up, staying far enough away to not be completely in range, but close enough to jump in at a moment's notice. “You good, Kitty?”

“Absolutely purrfect M'lady, never been better.” and then as he moved to dodge a blow, Adrien split in two.

“Using misdirection? How unlawful!” Riposte went after the right one, who dodged the hit and brought his baton towards her head. Riposte moved out of the way, but the left one threw a hit too. She blocked it, but between trying to keep herself safe from two attackers and the clouding of judgement that came from the Akuma serum, Riposte was completely open for Alya to walk up behind her and whack her with the abandoned Guitar.

“That is for Nino,” she snapped, watching Riposte crumple.

“You move fast,” Adrien noted.

Alya dropped the guitar and pulled her flute out. “It helps that I've been able to build solid illusions recently. Did you guys place all the vortex stabilizers?”

Adrien nodded.

“How..” Marinette glanced back at Riposte, flinching.

Adrien finished the sentence for her. “How is Nino?”

“He safely in the 21st century with the others, and is getting the medical attention he needs.”

“Good.”

“Are we ready to get outta here?” Alya glanced around, eyes wary.

“I think so. We can take these two and double back, Lady Wifi and Befana should still be waiting..” Marinette turned to Alya, “Are they-?”

Alya nodded. “I passed them both.” she held her flute to her mouth, and blew a few notes. Two stretchers appeared, which flew themselves over to the Akuma and picked the up.

“Now, who remembers the way back?”

Two pairs of eyes landed, unamused, on Marinette. She snorted. “I’m kidding! It’s hard to get lost in a box, come on.”

***

Despite knowing that Nino had made it safely to the atrium, Marinette and Adrien still ran towards the medical room as soon as they crossed the threshold. Alya joined them seconds later, having literally dropped the Akumas at Tikki and Orikko’s feet.

“How’s he doing?”

“The blade had traces of corruption on it, but we were able to treat the infection before it went too far.” Wayzz was sitting just to the side of Nino’s cot.

“Oh thank goodness.” Marinette laid her head on the edge of the cot.

“Thank you, Wayzz,” Alya said, reaching for Nino’s hand.

Wayzz just nodded.

Trixx appeared out of nowhere to kneel beside Alya. “If you had gotten him here even half a minute later it would have latched on too much to be pulled. I’m proud of you for keeping your head, kit.”

“Would you believe me if I said I was panicking the entire time? I think it was training that got me through it.”

“That’s why we train,” Trixx agreed.

They sat there for a while, the only noises being faint and coming from the Kwami going about their business in other rooms.

Pollen poked her head into the atrium, blonde hair still under a net. “Kids, you need to come eat. Nino isn’t going to pop out of existence while you’re gone.”

They started to grumble, but Pollen just clicked her tongue and ushered them into the dining room. Alya glanced back at Nino one more time as she left the room.

She stopped, eyes locked on his purple shirt. The purple shirt that was blue when she had been right beside him. Alya reached for her flute, but his shirt was blue again before she moved an inch. “Did anyone else see that?”

“See what?” Adrien asked, joining her in the doorframe.

“He flashed purple.”

Adrien sucked in a breath. “But he’s not now, right? Maybe you were just seeing things?”

“I know what I saw, Adrien!”

Pollen clicked her tongue again. “We kwami know what we’re doing when we kill corruption. It’s not uncommon for bouts of worry to change which images are transmitted to the brain, especially after such a traumatic event as this. Now get in here and get some food in you, or I’ll be forced to send Chloe on the next missions solo.”

Alya nodded, taking a deep breath as she turned. She had gotten him back in time. She had to have.

Bright. That was what he thought as he regained consciousness. Too bright. He belonged somewhere dark. Dark and alone. He wanted the dark.

The light lessened as he thought it. Once it was dark enough he could open his eyes he did so. There was a very dark bubble around the object he had been laid on. He sat up slowly, feeling around his surroundings.

He didn’t know where he was.

He didn’t know who he was.

He existed, but why? How old was he? What was his purpose? How did he manage the bubble?

He held up his hand, watching the brown fingers move. Another bubble, a smaller, blue, one this time popped out.

He made bubbles. What a fun purpose. Actually, why couldn’t that be a name too? Bubbler. Yeah, he liked that.

“Bubbler.”

He snapped around, looking for the source of the voice.

“Bubbler, I am Hawkmoth.” It was in his head. “You are one of my warriors, tasked with retrieving the artifacts of the Mage from a group of thieves. You were captured by our enemies hours ago. It’s good to hear from you. Are you willing to retake your mantel and continue the fight?”

Bubbler nodded. That sounded workable. “Of course, man.”

[golbrocklovely]

A weird advice ask, I'm sorry if this isn't the kind of thing you like but your older and wiser. How do you deal with social pressure? Like I'm in school and I'm a bit weird I guess which makes me stand out so in the past my classmates would bully me for being weird. So now I try to fit in with the social norms for fear of being bullied, but it's so exhausting and I just want to be me but I don't know how to be me if that makes sense? Do you have any advice on how to deal with this situation?

okay this is a long answer, so sorry about that in advance.

i'm not sure how young you are, but i'm gonna guess you're in high school. i'll tell you right now, the main thing to remember is that all the shit you're going thru is not important. all the things you worry about right now are gonna be something you laugh about someday. i know that's hard to realize in this moment, but as someone who's been out of high school for 10 years now, seriously - none of it matters. even the most embarassing parts are just something i roll my eyes at now. this doesn't negate how you feel currently tho. it's just something to realize if you start to get overwhelmed by it all.

regardless of this, to answer your question of how to deal with social norms, it's a bit of a complex issue. i think you realizing that you don't want to act like this anymore, or fake being someone you're not, is already a great start. not a lot of ppl would be able to admit that. idk what exact social norm you feel like you're being forced to do, but i'll give the two major ones i can think of off the top of my head.

first, since you said you don't know how to be yourself, i think your first step is take some time and write out down all the things you like. and i mean as many as you can think of. all the forms of media you consume, all the hobbies that you have, random niche things - doesn't matter, write it down. hell, even the guilty pleasures you have (like me back when i pretended i didn't like taylor swift in hs but that was also bc i was a jonas brothers fan lol). this list is for you only, so be as honest as you can be. remove all the judgements in your head and what other ppl would say if you liked these things, and just say to yourself "if i like it, it goes on the list." then once you've done that, write out all the things you like about yourself. i know that might be hard to do, bc maybe you feel like there isn't much there, but seriously - anything goes. maybe it's your laugh, maybe it's your eye color, maybe it's the way you're really good at doing math equations, maybe it's the way you treat other ppl - whatever it is, write it down. and don't be embarrassed if it's something really weird or something that would actually be seen as a compliment to yourself. first off, it's fine to be complimentary to yourself, but also who cares? this is for your eyes only.

this also means even writing out things you used to like about yourself that others made you insecure about. like, i have a loud laugh, and i've had ppl in the past tell me in a negative way that my laugh was too much…. i still very much like my laugh, regardless of how others feel about it. but there was a period of time that i didn't. if you have something like that, write it down too.

now that everything is physically laid out, you can now see all the things you truly like. so, if for argument's sake, you were pretending to like a certain artist bc others liked them, you can now look at the list and be like "you know what? i don't really like them. i'm not gonna pretend to like them." or maybe you realize you do like them, you just pretended to like them at first. and that's fine too. there's nothing wrong with liking niche things or mainstream things. if, for example, you like an anime that no one has ever heard of, realistically there are MILLIONS of ppl that watch that same anime. the only difference is none of them live in your town. the main thing to remember is you aren't an outlier as much as others make you feel. there are tons of ppl like you that feel the same way, act similarily, and like the same things as you.

now, if the social norms being placed on you are more about sex/dating/drugs/drinking, then this is how to navigate that: i was and still am a straight edge. ever since i was young, i never cared about drinking or partying or any of that stuff really. i was lucky enough to have friends that were in the same boat as me. not only that, we were all mega virgins in hs lol none of us ever were pressured by each other to do anything we didn't want to. if you have friends that are making you feel uncomfortable like that, cut them out. i'm telling you, there is no reason to be friends with ppl that will not accept your boundaries. they are no friends of yours bc they don't have your best interest in mind.

speaking of, know your hard limits. i know it might be weird or embarrassing to set boundaries (especially if you were like me - a walking floor mat), but in the long run it's better to have said no then regret saying yes. it's as simple as knowing you're not ready for that experience. if you know deep down you don't want whatever it is, say no. there is no harm in it, especially if you have even a slight suspicion that something is off or just you not being ready for it.

(sidenote, you can always just lie if it will get ppl off your case. if you're at a party, and someone offers you something and you don't want it, but they keep pushing - you can just lie to get them to back off. say "oh i can't drink. last time i did i puked everywhere." and then go into very vivid detail if you must. or if someone offers you weed, since most likely that would be the drug of choice in hs, just say "oh last time i smoked i got super paranoid so i don't want to be a buzzkill". if you make it seem like you're gonna ruin the vibe of the ppl that want to party, they will most likely back off. of course you don't have to do it this way, just saying "no thanks i'm good" will most likely suffice.)

when i was in hs, i didn't date. i wanted to, but i didn't. same as in college. i don't look back on that time and regret not doing that. i did for a while, but for the most part i'm glad i waited. i geniunely didn't like myself at all, and i know now that if i had dated back then i would have settled for anything. aka i would have dated the douchiest guys ever. my track record of crushes/loves kinda proves that lol i didn't have my first kiss until i was 17, i didn't drink until i was of age (21), and i've never done any form of drugs. i'm telling you right now, i missed out on nothing. i'm still very much like all my peers, the only difference is i might have kept a couple more brain cells from not drinking at such a young age. also, i wasn't the only one that was like this.

idk how bad the bullying is for you, and i know how bad bully can be (since i got bullied so bad in middle school i almost ended my own life) so if it's anything remotely like that, please tell someone. don't be like me and wait until you're at your breaking point. if it's just dumb teasing or looks or whatever, and you don't want to go down the route of telling someone about it, here's something to think about: who are you trying to impress by acting the way you do? look at the ppl you are impressing by pretending to be something you're not. are they just the bullies? bc if so, why do you listen to them? they aren't anyone important in your life, you shouldn't let them affect you like they are. i know that's easier said then done, but you have to grow a thick skin to let go and be yourself. once you realize that their opinions don't matter AT ALL, you will feel so free.

and if you're acting a certain way bc there are ppl in your life you want to impress - like friends or other peers you want to be close to - you need to understand that someone that will be your best friend or your confidant is someone that will love you for you. you won't have to be someone you're not around them. so it leads to the same conclusion of don't listen to them and stop being their friend.

if you're doing it for self peservantion, that's okay. it takes a lot of courage to stand up for yourself. but clearly you don't like it, so changing has to occur. it won't be easy, and it might take a lot of time, but it will be worth it in the long run.

knowing who you are at your core is a strength that not many ppl succeed at. some don't like thinking about it bc they're afraid of what they might uncover or realize about themselves. but honestly, you will be miles ahead of your peers if you know what you like and stick by it. if you know who you are truly, all anyone can tell you is who you're not.

i hope this helps you ! if you need anything else, please reach out again. if no one has told you, i'm so proud of you for taking these first steps and wanting to change <3 you got this !

[lets-talk-spirituality]

Welcome to a judgement-free zone!

I created this blog as a space to share my spiritual insights and to help explain spiritual concepts that have become very mainstream that I believe are being misunderstood. Please understand this is my understanding and I’m not god, just a mere interpreter trying to help the collective. If you are new to spirituality, read this.

2023 Master Post

Let’s talk about:

Spiritual Awakening: Karma | confirmations, synchronicities and signs | past lives | communicating with spirit | kundalini | divine timing & intervention | numerology

Souls | Protector Souls | Soul Co-Opting | Soul Connections | soul ages | soul missions | divine counterparts

Free Will vs Pre-Determination | What is time?

Magic: Black Magic | Sex Magic | Full Moon | New Years | Language | Magic of Names | ❄️ | Summer Solstice | Fall Solstice | Spring Solstice

Astrology | Aries | Taurus | Gemini | Cancer | Leo | Virgo | Libra | Scorpio | Sagittarius | Capricorn | Aquarius | Pisces | Relationship Astrology | Houses/Chart Styles | Vedic, Esoteric and other modalities | Astrocartography

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Manifestation | Financial spirituality

Energy: Energetic Tethering | Energy Absorption | Energy Vampires | Ley Lines and Energy Vortices | Collective Energy | Energetic Attacks | Essence Charging

Spiritual Gifts: Animal Communication |Healing your intuition | Spiritual Healing | Discovering your inner magic | channeling & clairs | telepathy | mediumship |

Chakras: Heart Chakra | Throat Chakra |Third Eye Chakra | Crown Chakra | Root Chakra | Sacral Chakra | Solar Plexus Chakra | Alternative Chakras

Humanity: Current state of humanity | Human body limitations | Gender | Collective Lessons | Hustle Culture | Tattoos | spirituality & drugs | medication & spirituality | body ascension

Sleep: Sleep Disturbances | dream work | interpreting dreams | precognitive dreams | different types of dreams, lucid |

Elements: Fire Bending | Water Bending | Air Bending | Earth Bending

Angels: Earth Angels | archangels

Love energy: preparing for your partner | love spells

Whatever else you want? You can ask me if spirit has messages for you, channeled messages, dream or astrology interpretations. I just ask in exchange that you please give me feedback as it helps me understand my gifts more! 💕

Read before asking for a reading

You can also ask me about my own spiritual journey, music, pop culture, the evils of capitalism, etc.

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Other discussed topics:

tarot | law of attraction | twin flames | soul mates | spiritual awakening | auras | past lives | therapy | mental health | starseeds | inner child | numerology | faeries & mermaids | spirit animals | MBTI | enneagram | human design

Topics on my to-do list:

mythology, specifically Greek and Roman | deities /finding yours | 5D integration | 3D proof of the 5D | death energy | the language of spirit | why our spirituality weakens with age | blood disorders and other “disorders” and spirituality | energy sensing | energetic proximity | levels of living | energetic loss | hierarchies | cassadaga | energetic clearing | meaning of life | translating higher dimensions into 3D | energy of creation | energetic shifting | how you hold your power back | anti love | energetic manipulation | power of intention | frequency and music | letting go | portals | discovering spiritual gifts | storytelling and spiritual tools | how to remember what you know | circulating energies | aha moments | energy of non-judgement | energetic recharging | energy channeling | energy of spaces, ie bedroom and how to shift energy of spaces | remote viewing/deja vu

[alltheselights]

How do you stop yourself from becoming bitter? You acknowledge that Louis has responsibility in this (this being his career, stunts etc.) and call him out on some of his behavior which I appreciate. But you never sound hateful or bitter about it and I want to know how lol. I feel like for me it is so easy to start falling down the bitter path and I don't like it but my feelings have a mind of their own.

I definitely get frustrated with Louis, but it's mostly because he often doesn't do really simple things that could help his career. Sometimes I get bitter too, but it usually wears off fast and the reason for that is that I think Louis has been fucked over more than any of us could ever comprehend and we can't truly know the impact that's had.

After watching Louis over the past couple of years especially, I think that he's internalized a bunch of really harmful ideas about himself and his career. Ideas like that he could never be considered a mainstream artist, that he's unlikely to expand his fanbase beyond where it's at now, that the world cares more about his personal life and other people (e.g. Freddie, Harry, Eleanor, another girlfriend) than him and his music, that he's just not talented or charismatic enough to ever reach a higher level of success, that having a fanbase that loves him is sufficient to sustain his career long-term, and that portraying himself as nothing more that a chav from Donny who's allergic to Hollywood and nice things is the best image to present of himself to make him fit into certain music scenes.

My realization that he seems to believe these things explains so much. It can explain why he doesn't try for more, why he still participates in stunts, why he portrays himself a way that we know is not entirely accurate in interviews, and why he hasn't fired his incompetent, lazy team. I also often think about the fact that Louis very desperately needs therapy to help him deal with what he's been through in a healthy way, but he has convinced himself that he doesn't, which contributes to many of his problems.

And while thinking this doesn't make it any easier to watch, I think it gives me a level of empathy for him that a lot of other fans seem to lack. There's a lot of moral superiority and anger directed toward him from fans who seem to forget that not a single one of us has any real idea what Louis has experienced, what he has internalized through so many years of mistreatment and abuse, and what the reasoning is behind the choices that he makes. It's very easy to judge from behind a keyboard or a phone screen when you have no actual personal involvement in a situation. It's easy to forget that because we feel like we know the boys so well and many of us have been fans for so long, but we are and always will be outsiders basing our opinions and judgements on a very, very limited amount of information.

I also remind myself of who Louis truly is when you rip away the bad career choices and ugly stunts. Yes, he is very privileged, and very flawed, and very much the product of the hand he was dealt. But he is a kind, generous, sweet, thoughtful, talented, intelligent person.

It's very hard to be bitter toward someone when you remember all that.

[madeyoumyvillain]

Desi woman here.

I don't know if I want to talk about this or not because brown women are so used to being silenced in activist and supposedly "supportive" spaces but I realise that if I don't speak up rn,this might continue. It's just my opinion and I don't know how to talk about all this without coming off as stupid. But I've had enough.

A white woman being a stunt double for a brown woman is something I can live with. But what hurt me the most is painting that white woman brown. As a brown woman,I've always been told "if only you were lighter in skintone" "you were so much fairer when you were a kid,what happened" and it really hurt me as a child, made me believe in the notion that fair=beautiful. My younger sister,who's only 13,went through the same version of this in a much worse way because she's darker than the rest of us. People always told her she wasn't as pretty because she was darker but mind you,she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. And the smartest in her entire grade. I love her and she loves herself,which was a struggle on her part because the same notion took over her mind too. The fact that there are so many South Asian people they could've chosen from rather than brown-facing is so fucking infuriating.

It's so disappointing how brown and black people are treated unfairly because of the colour of their skin,endure years of self loathe and judgement and unfair treatment because of the stereotypes attached to us based on SOLELY our skin. But what's much worse is seeing the same white people who we are taught are better than us,more beautiful than us because they're white, paint themselves in shades of brown and black and no one bats a fucking eyelash. The thing we are shamed for is just paint to them,it will get off their skin. But we would continue to be given side eyes or treated differently because of how dark or light we are.

I remember tearing up just looking at Amita and Sujaya because brown representation in mainstream media is rare and when present,it takes up only after the stereotypes attached to us. Especially in fantasy,you don't find any brown representation at all. So seeing Inej and Zoya made me happier than you think. So if the show is cancelled,I don't know how long it will take for me to see two brown women in iconic and important roles in a fantasy series.

Amita trained so hard for Inej,the fact that she had to see this happen is so disheartening. I can make a list of South Asian stunt coordinators and doubles and the fact that there would be enough of them for the production crew to choose from rather than turning a white woman brown is mind boggling. I'm sorry for every South Asian person who applied for the job. Inej is SO important to every brown girl,to me,to everyone who wants to be badass and still have more heart than everyone combined. She's our hero and she deserves better. Amita,desi women and POC deserve better than this.

I love the show and cancelling it won't solve anything, holding the right people accountable would be the best thing to do. Shadow and Bone deserves a better production crew. Cancelling the show would be avoiding the root problem. It's been noticed from the start how Leigh and Eric have been trying to score woke points for the cast being so diverse and then pull shit like this shows how much they respect desis in the first place. We should be included because we EXIST. Showing people who already exist is the bare fucking minimum and if you're not portraying them as they are in mainstream media or think portraying them is very brave of you then you are in fact a part of the problem. They casted my girl and said "that's enough brown representation for today ❤️" and I really hate them for it.

It's not diversity if the writers room is white. It's not diversity if the stunt crew is white. It's not diversity if the production and management crew is white. If your diversity and inclusion is only limited to the screen, then it's performative.

Netflix,do better. You're not an ally if you keep on making these mistakes and then apologizing again and again. That's manipulation. We expect better. We deserve better.

[dnpanimationstudioclone]

About Sam🦇

"Sam Manson, Aka Amity Park's "Ghost Girl" is well known for her love for the supernatural and paranormal, ESPECIALLY for Ghosts. She lives for all the crazy horror that happens around her town. Imagine how she feels that one of her BFF's a super cool ghost! She's always ready for an adventure with her friends, her motto, the crazier the better!"

Personality:

I know there's been ALOT of arguments about Sam's character, I figure we already know them. Point a lot of people see her to be very judgemental, selfish, hypocritical, causing trouble for her friends, especially Danny and have "I'm not like other girls" vibes. Tbh I think the main problem was that she just didn't have proper development. I think a lot of characters had that issue, not just her. Flaws and all she's a good character or atleast I think so. She cares a lot especially for her friends and what's right and I love that! With that said I am making some changes for my personal take.

A huge change is her idea on ghosts. While OG Sam said they're "too mainstream", my Sam LOVES GHOSTS!!!!

Another change is that she's on the more spontaneous, out there side, like(Mabel Pines, Marcy Wu, Louise Belcher, Anne Boonchuy, LMK Mei, Glitch Techs Miko, Luz Noceda, ROTTMNT April, Casey Jones/Foot recruit, Kid- Kid Cosmic, Molly McGee, NSR Mayday, Star Butterfly) vibes. She definentley vibes to Luz's "Us weirdos needs to stick together!" She is still unapologetically herself and wouldn't change herself for anyone. With that said is actually rather self concious of herself and secretly feels rather lonely, feeling distant from the people around her, being "too much or weird" for them, sometimes wishing she could fit in better with people. Atleast she has friends who like her the way she is.

For my version I also want her to be more focused on horror stuff, such as ghosts. I remember in ep 1 she thought they were "too mainstream". Scrapping that completely. I want this girl to be OBSESSED with ghosts. But at the same time her activism was a huge part of her character and I think that should stay. The main problem I think personally was her not properly learning better ways to get people to listen to her ideas.

My Sam-Klemper and Frostbite could remake all the polar ice caps, Lunch Lady could end world hunger and Sidney could straighten out the school system and how they tackle bullying!

My Sam's on the more immature, impulsive side and tends to dive head first into stuff. She doesn't take herself as seriously and like any kid doesn't always think things through. She'd be far more open to haunting pranks and goof around, doing crazy stuff.

I'm keeping her stubborn impulsive side. She's known for biting off more than she can chew and getting WAY ahead of herself in stuff, usually winding up into as well as cause some crazy trouble.

Overall she still has Sam's passion and care, I just also made her not as serious and more relaxed, open and unafraid to show how much she enjoys stuff, not caring if other people like it or not.

Facts:

Definetley keeping Grey DeLisle

Abilities-HUGE horror expert, huge occult expert, knowledge in nature stuff, chaotic smiling friends level energy, athleticism, agile, good fighter, knows self-defense, strong, creative, resourceful, confident, very motivated, comfortable with her own company, knows some natural medicines, good at sewing, cooking, can play the piano, ball dance, knows some ballet, multilingualism-knows Japanese(learned it so she can watch anime that don't have Eng Dub or Sub), likes to stay hopeful and never gives up for what's right!

Weaknesses- Reckless, stubborn, impulsive, tends to get WAY ahead of herself, has trouble talking about feelings, can be uintentionally insensitive, blunt, has trouble connecting with people, doesn't always think things through and tends to distract herself and get lost in her own world in order to avoid having to deal with her feelings and issues.

I see Sam make DIY horror themed art from recycled objects. Waste not want not.

Goes ALL out for Halloween🎃

Calls herself "gremlin" 😈 Has also been called "batgirl"🦇

Knows how to write in cursive.

Would LOVE stuff such as Ruby Gloom, TOH, Amphibia, Smiling Friends, Dead End:Paranormal Park, Final Space, TGAMG, Hazbin Hotel & Helluva Boss, etc.

Owns a sewing machine. Knows how to sew and knit. Perhaps learned from her grandma.

I can see half of her decor and stuff be made from recycled stuff she created herself.

Totally runs like Naruto.

Likes- A good chunk of what OG Sam liked, LOVES GHOSTS, hanging with Danny and Tucker, her grandma, when her parents aren't overbearing, Mother Nature, stormy weather, cult classics, night, stars, horror stuff, horror stories and media, animation, art, books, parkour, drawing, indie projects, webcomics, animals, conspiracy theories, testing out Tucker's inventions, stargazing with Danny, magic, bats, lizards, amphibians, insects and spiders, anything creepy, slime, classical literature, poems, the dark, thrift stores, explosions, antique and vintage stuff and people accepting her for who she is.

Fav animal-Bats🦇

Dislikes-Pink, bright colors, bright lights, brightness, Prep fashion, oversaturated colors, her parents, usually her mom trying to make her wear cheerier, gender rules, discrimination, injustice, ghost hate, bad reboots, when industries cancel good shows, toxic fake people, people trying to use her, especially for her money, Twilight(she HATES their portrayal of the supernatural, especially vampires and overall problematic messages. Sam- SOMEHOW THEY RUINED VAMPIRES MORE THAN VLAD DOES!, THE MAN!, pollution, NFTS, her parents trying to make her look "happier", ignorance, prejudice, being told how to be, being lied to and people trying to change her.

Writes fanfiction and does fanart✍️

Is VERY aware of Creepypasta.

Likes to do volunteer work.

I see her love vintage, antique stuff. For the aesthetic and cause its eco friendlier to use something that can still work than just buy something new. Wears alot of her grandma's old clothes👚👕

Sam has a YouTube channel. “Amity’s#1_Ghost_Girl💜👻💜”, and started a series, “The Ghosts of Amity Park👻” talking about all the ghosts that have been in Amity Park as well as their backstories. She also likes to talk about Cryptids and other horror stuff besides ghosts(urban legend, mythological creatures, you name it). It’s gotten a lot of subscribers lately because of all the latest ghost appearances. She even got Danny Phantom himself to do a Live Q&A chat. Paulina was SPEECHLESS! She also does some horror show/movie/book reviews, DIY art and decor vids, memes, Eco-friendly life hacks and tips as well as some yummy vegetarian and horror themed recipes. Also has a tumblr, insta, DA, Twitter and TikTok.

What do u think? How would u rewrite Sam? I'd love to know💖