#my holds aftermath
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aww didn't i tell you you needed to learn to ask for the potty? now look what happened, you made a mess of yourself.
you do look awfully cute all blushy and drippy though. my poor baby couldn't hold it in could he~
I tried to ask!!! I did!!! i just, you just, I, it, I.....
😖😖😖😳😳😳 I.....
I couldn't hold it yeah. It was too much!!!! M sorry. I'll clean it up and myself up to and get into bed.....
#(and a snack and soft things ofc dw)#I wish i had someone else to clean up so i could just burst into tears 😅😅😅#but alas the lone life must be responsible#the towel is a good help in that regard#my holds aftermath
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rawdogged the whole isat in three days and then went on a drawing spree
#in stars and time#isat spoilers#isat siffrin#isat loop#sorry others but theres only a glimpse of you in this#isat fanart#my art#the first 3 images are song lyrics. болливуд by краснознамённая дивизия имени моей бабушки#'the filming shift doesn't know when to end'#'i am to blame'#'if you want a reason - i can hold my tongue'#translated the text on the images respectively#the sif with the fangs is not really a vampire i just wanted to give him fangs because i have them#for fun#there are also some loop gijinkas for the aftermath of the game#i think they'd like to change it up a bit and resemble sif a bit less if they can help it#grow the hair out a bit and keep it white#alright im done ramblin#hi guys#also the last image is from today and the others are all a couple days old
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iceman + his concern for maverick post-hop 31
#icemav#top gun edit#ice is a FASCINATING one to watch post-hop 31 imo because while yes‚ obviously‚ the focus is on maverick and his grief and devastation#ice is there the whole time in the background‚ watching. and he's visibly disturbed by what he's seeing. because yeah -#he and mav had a rivalry going and yeah he called maverick dangerous and reckless to his face and he stands by that - he does.#but the problem is that this time - this one fluke freak accident of a time - it wasn't maverick's fault at all.#an unrecoverable flat spin brought on by a compressor stall from ice's jetwash isn't something that maverick could've outflown#by sticking to textbook maneuvers. it was just shit luck and shitty circumstances aligning to create a tragic mishap.#but now - now ice can see the way maverick is unraveling in the aftermath#and i'd bet that on some level it terrifies him to see that.#he's used to seeing maverick with all that brash cocky confidence with the moves to back it up.#he's maybe even had a bit of fun jockeying against that. not that he'd admit that out loud. (yet)#but maverick's spiraling now - a hollowed out shell of his former self - leaking grief and self-doubt and despair everywhere he goes#and it actually hurts to look at for ice‚ seeing maverick like this. seeing how much maverick really REALLY fucking cared under that facade#and wondering if maverick is finally taking the stuff ice said to him to heart‚ but applying it all wrong.#so he watches maverick and eventually that concern builds to a point where he tries to offer an olive branch in the locker room#you can SEE how carefully he gathers himself - how much he's holding back - he doesn't want to say the wrong thing to maverick NOW#he doesn't want to make this worse than it already is. so it comes out stilted. it's earnest - but restrained. he can't find his footing.#he doesn't know where he and maverick stand now but he's sorry - that goose is gone‚ that maverick's going through this‚#that he doesn't know how to help or what to say‚ and - crucially - for his own part in this.#but he wants mav to stick around and push through this. even though he's dangerous. even though he's reckless. ice wants him to beat this.#so when maverick shows up to graduation‚ ice is encouraged. and he's a little warmer. maverick really might pull through.#but then‚ all too soon‚ it's ice's life on the line in maverick's hands. and it scares the shit out of him because maverick's not ready#and now ice - and slider - are going to have to pay the price for that.#and then‚ against all odds‚ maverick pushes through. he comes back for them. he comes back for ice.#and after that...well.#after that‚ ice does know what to say: a vow.#my amvs#linds original
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Been thinking about Hosea a lot as I write this analysis on Dutch and Micah.
Maybe I’ll eventually whip something up about him, but for now I’m left with thoughts about knowing that not only is Hosea just as guilty as Dutch when it comes to how their boys were brought up (and continued to be treated through adulthood and ultimately up to their deaths), but also the way the two irreparably damaged John and Arthur’s entire lives beyond even their own comprehension. FURTHERMORE, they set forth a viscous cycle of familial violence and neglect that maintained momentum into the next generation. (See: John and Jack.)
The way Hosea’s action, but more importantly his inaction had in part led to… well, [gestures vaguely to RDR1 + RDR2].
Hosea might have been gentler than Dutch on the surface, but he saw it all, and at times both implicitly and explicitly encouraged it through the meticulous timing of his decisions to remain a “silent watcher.”
Yes, refusal to mitigate the violence makes him complicit, but the matter of the fact is… Hosea can’t even feign partial innocence as a third-party bystander because of how calculated he is in nature.
Additionally, there is no “third party.” Dutch and Hosea are a single unit. They occupy the same space even as two separate individuals in John and Arthur’s lives.
The deliberate nature of Hosea’s inaction puts him in the same position as the “perpetrator” because he isn’t just a watcher, he corroborates directly with Dutch and agrees with what he is doing on principle. He reenforces it in perhaps more subtle ways, but that doesn’t make him any less responsible for the outcome.
The only difference between the two is that while they’re dealing different cards, they are playing the exact same game.
#I’ve got some horrible little headcanons rattling around tbh#Dutch and Hosea have different methods and demeanours but truly are partners in crime not only in the literal sense but also are#one another's accomplice in how they raised/treat John and Arthur.#I think that Hosea gets let off the hook a little too easy and I really enjoy thinking about the implications of his behaviour on the boys#just as much as I enjoy analyzing that of Dutch.#Also??? The way that Arthur seemed to die not realizing this adds layers to it in my head. John had all that time to mull it over and think#after all that had happened with the gang throughout his life and I'm CERTAIN he did a LOT of thinking about when exactly Dutch's#true colours started to shine through over the years... so I'd say its safe to assume that he did a lot of thinking about the pair of them.#I want to know if he is capable of thinking fondly about Hosea in spite of this because he has been dead for a long time#Or does he hold a grudge against him even post-mortem? John at least got to have a conversation with Dutch and see exactly what he's become#I wonder to what extent that perfect image he had of Dutch being tainted caused him to see things clearer than#Arthur was ever given the chance?#Arthur died not knowing but I think John might have the tendency to ruminate on it in the years that followed.#I wonder what conclusions he came to about his life up until that moment while sitting alone in the aftermath.#Was he afraid? Did he even want to unpack all that? To potentially ruin every good thing he'd ever had just because Dutch went off the rail#in the end? If so... what would he have left if it turned out that nothing was ever the way it seemed?#red dead redemption 2#the curious couple and their unruly son#dutch van der linde#hosea matthews#arthur morgan#john marston#red dead meta#paisley.txt
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trying to stop myself from drawing winters family as ivan the terrible and his dying son
#vixen rambles#BEEECAUSE. BECAUSE IT COULD GO EITHER WAYY#could be a more bittersweet composition w mark holding ashe in the direct aftermath of s2ep39.#ORRR it could be so much Worse. could be the trickster holding mark. can you see my visionnnn
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FUUUUUUUUUCK, WHY IS NINE INCH NAILS' WOODSTOCK '94 PERFORMANCE SO FUCKING GOOODDDODODDLJHKJHBGKJHLVLJHVJG
#LIKE I KNOW TRENT WAS DISAPPOINTED WITH THE AFTERMATH#BUT I STILL THINK IT HOLDS UP TO THIS VERY DAY#It's just so raw and full of energy it's like a fucking religious experience#i love it so damn much#nine inch nails#NIN#trent reznor#woodstock#woodstock 94#grace yelling#my dumbass NIN posting
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this composition came to me in a vision while sketching and I had to make it real
#it’s giving the ‘But whatever I do with this cage I cannot get at you and it is your soul that I want’ from Jane eyre#(2011) film#the scene where he’s holding her#this is basically the aftermath of my comic where stewys comforting Ken after arguing#i am feeling very normal about their bond when they were fresh teenagers#before life hurt them and fucked it up#Kenstewy#kendall roy#kendall x stewy#stewy hosseini#stewy x kendall
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I need to lock these gay ass motherfuckers all in a room.
For science.
#i want to see who comes out alive#my money is on sinjir or thrawn#ok but thrawn and kallus canonically fought and kallus got his ass handed to him#also eli zeb and condor watching from the sidelines-#sinjir would read them all to filth but I don't think he could hold his own in a fist fight should one break out#crosshair is a little shit who is definitely also going to say something snarky that's going to get him punched in the face#(like what happened with rex in s7 of tcw)#kallus probably has the most like self restraint in terms of taking verbal blows#and also thrawn#i think sinjir and crosshair would either be best friends or moral enemies#no in between#why are they all imps omg#idc i think crosshair is losing#crosshair is going to start shit but he can't end it#or maybe the spend the entire time bragging about their boyfriends idk#sw aftermath#aftermath trilogy#sinjir rath velus#alexsander kallus#tbb crosshair#crosshair bad batch#thrawn#mitth'raw'nuruodo#tbb#sw rebels#thrawn trilogy
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the family also found a new home! a former survivor base that had been overran by zombies, it has everything they need and ~more~. including a basement they haven't been able to get into yet, but so far they haven't heard anything, so i'm sure it's fine!
#ts3#aftermath gen1#aftermath legacy#i HATE dealing with terrain tools and their old lot was the WORSTTT i couldnt do it#so cheating is okay when it comes to my quality of life 😌#and theres no real estate in the apocalypse so u know what. be free caramels. own the entire town if u want.#criminals are coming soon so its get what u want now or forever hold ur peace
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Sophie, have you watched Nosferatu, yet? The topic of gothic heroines resurfaced and with it the comparison of Loustat to Orlok and Ellen. would love to read a meta/review from you of it wrt IWTV.
I haven't yet, anon! It's been a pretty hectic start to the year with my sister and nephews staying with me, so I haven't made it to the cinema this week (hoping to get there on Tuesday, although I might be wrangled into taking the boys to see Sonic 3 instead of getting to see literally anything else, haha). I was wondering this morning if something had happened with the gothic heroine interpretation though because my Byronic hero post has been getting a lot of attention in the last 24 hours. I'll try and see Nosferatu soon though - I'm seeing a lot about it, and I have a few friends who are actually gothic horror authors and they've all hated it, which has actually made me extra curious, haha.
#i've always lowkey thought eggers was a bit of a hack but a lot of these authors i know LOVE the witch and the lighthouse#and so them not liking this has really surprised me#but yeah my phone notifications were going a little nuts while i was at the zoo with my nephews today#i was like 'please don't be drama' haha#(also anon who asked about the drop in context of being a means to trap louis in the house - - i'll try and reply tonight#but no i don't see that as lestat trying to trap louis in there#especially given lestat's cast out of the house in the aftermath of it#and louis destroys his coffin#both of which i think hold a lot of narrative and symbolic weight)#it's also interesting to consider that louis does actually leave lestat two eps earlier though and he's the one to come back and bind lesta#to him domestically by making him turn claudia#the reason - i thnk - that louis doesn't leave lestat is simply because he doesn't want to#he COULD follow claudia around europe there's nothing stopping him except for himself#i actually think you could make the case that he doesn't like travel in general tbh#he doesn't even want to with lestat when lestat tries to get them to go to rome#but i do think it'd predominantly tied with louis' reluctance to give up his humanity which is intrinsically tied to new orleans#but i'll try and write that out more articulately later haha
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aww good for you sweetie pie. we're all proud of you~ have a nice evening! <33
🥰🥰 Thank you!!!! So much!!!! ahh!!! gosh! I will And thank you for helping!!!!! you have a good evening too <3
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Whooo I’m mad stressin about round seven
But I do know that the bass will be FUNKY
#ahghghh#it comes out SO SOON#I am not going to be able to do anything but think about to os#this#everything is going to be put on hold#assignments NO#homework? NO#alnst 7#yes#the only thing that will have my attention#and it will be the only thing i think about the rest of the day#im actually so scared#also#my poor roommate#shes got to deal with me#shes a real one#she listens to all of my ramblings and everything#a true homie#pray for me I won’t survive this round#and pray for her cause she has to deal with the aftermath#two people are going to die during round seven#whoever dies and me#but hopefully all goes well#or as well as it can#fingers crossed yall#feels like its evil christmas twas the night before alnst 7 and all through the dorm was rosie screaming and crying not out of the norm#alnst till#alnst luka#alien stage#alnst
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I have so many varied and fun WIPs I could work on but my brain continues to scream “BE WEIRD ABOUT CHILDBIRTH! SURELY YOU WON’T WEIRD ANYONE OUT IF YOU KEEP WRITING ABOUT CHILDBIRTH!” and I’d like it to sTOP
#I HAVE TOKOPHOBIA CHILDBIRTH AND PREGNANCY IN GENERAL REPULSE ME#(not to be confused with ‘I find it repulsive’ — its natural and plenty of people find it beautiful and more power to ‘em! me personally…)#BUT I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT MARIO RUSHING TO HIS WIFE’S BEDSIDE AND FRANTICALLY TRYING TO HELP HER RELAX#WHEN IN FACT SHE IS ALREADY RELAXED AND HE NEEDS BREATHING EXERCISES MORE THAN SHE DOES#AND THE MENTAL AND PHYSICAL EXHAUSTION THEY BOTH UNDERGO AS THE HOURS TICK BY AND THE PAIN GETS WORSE#PEACH HURTING AND ANXIOUS AND FRANKLY KINDA TERRIFIED BUT BLINDLY LEANING ON AND TRUSTING HER HUSBAND WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT#AND OF COURSE HE REFUSES TO LET HER DOWN BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH HE’S FRAZZLED HE’S NOT GOING TO LET HER GO THROUGH THIS ALONE#AND AND AND#PEACH TREMBLING AND WEEPING IN RELIEF WHEN SHE’S HANDED HER LITTLE GIRL AND FEELS HER TAKE HER FIRST BREATHS AND HEARS HER FIRST CRIES#MARIO PEPPERING HER FACE IN KISSES AND JUST REPEATING ‘brava! brava! brava!’ BECAUSE HIS WIFE IS SO STRONG AND SO INCREDIBLE#AND IT DOESN’T REALLY HIT HIM UNTIL THEIR BABY’S ALL CLEANED AND SWADDLED AND HE’S HOLDING HER FOR THE FIRST TIME AND HE JUST#STARTS FUCKING BAWLING#AND WHISPERING TO HER IN HIS NATIVE TONGUE ABOUT HOW MUCH HE LOVES HER AND HOW HE’S SO HAPPY TO MEET HER AND HE’S GONNA PROTECT HER#THE IMMEDIATE AFTERMATH! THE FIRST SLEEPLESS HOURS AND DAYS! NAVIGATING IT ALL TOGETHER AND IT BRINGS THEM EVEN CLOSER#WHY AM I LIKE THIS#I SEE PREGNANT BELLIES OR NEWBORN BABIES IRL AND I’M LIKE ‘🤢’#BUT WHEN IT’S MY OTPS I AM LITERALLY OBSESSED#WHY#MAKE IT MAKE SENSE 😭😭😭
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with respect to myself, this whole “i need to wait till i’m out of school to date,” “i need to wait till i’m more historically, politically, and culturally educated to date” is all bullshit. it’s the top surgery. that’s the holdup. they chop these tits off and i’m ready to go.
#for the record - i still think that those first two things are the WISEST course of action#but i’m just saying that i don’t think anyone could hold me back if the opportunity arises#because the top surgery thing is my real hangup#because that would be a LOT to go through with someone in a new relationship and i would rather Not#so it’s better to wait#and i have a feeling that MY confidence will increase a ton in the aftermath as well#i’ll FINALLY be able to dress how i want holy SHIT#no more needless layering and strategically shapeless flannels#thank GOD#and in the meantime i’ll just keep trying to learn as much as i can on the way there!#so that i’m as prepared as possible whenever the moment comes along#i’m really working on not being mean to myself about not knowing things#nobody comes into the world with this knowledge#and i was not given the resources growing up that encouraged me to learn these things#just because some people had parents or friends who introduced them to things when they were younger or grew up in cultural centers#doesn’t make them cooler or better than me#i am educating myself now and that is what is important#i enjoy learning and that is what is important#i WILL become my ideal self one day - i am getting better#i am not perfect - i am still fucking up a ton and insecure and stretching myself to the absolute limit#which is why it is probably NOT a good idea to date right now!!!!!!#but who knows… i’ll just go where the road takes me#and see how that works out
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Alistair: So I'm not going with you, I see. Any particular reason? Tabris: I'm not going to risk you getting hurt, Alistair. Alistair: And you think I want you going in there and sacrificing yourself? You think I want you to die!? But there's no use arguing with you, is there? We don't have time... and you are a stubborn, stubborn woman. Tabris: You would do something foolish. Alistair: Maybe… I guess we'll never know now, will we? I guess this is the last chance we'll get��� before this is finished, one way or another. Be careful in there. Tabris: I love you, Alistair. Alistair:
Guess who made the ultimate sacrifice...?
Me. It was me.
I made the ultimate sacrifice.
The achievement wasn't worth it.
#dragon age#dragon age origins#dao#alistair theirin#dao alistair#warden tabris#i'm genuinely so heart broken#i just wanted to see what ending you get when you reject morrigan's ritual since i have very strong opinions on it as i've discussed before#and it's more in character for my tabris to reject it anyway so this was the first time i did it and just...... i am hurt#like... it's such a hopeless 'what was even the point? she didn't deserve this' feeling y'know? she didn't deserve this!#and neither did alistair... he already holds so much guilt over duncan and cailan making him stay out of battle in ostagar#and then rose makes him stay behind so she can face the archdemon and die ALONE... while also robbing him of the chance to stand beside her#the way i play dao is alistair is forever in my party like i literally take him *everywhere* he is with rose the entire journey#they are partners in this forever and always and they planned to face the archdemon together but that changed with riordan's news...#and this is the first time since they met in ostagar that he hasn't been in her party and i didn't expect it to hurt so much...#plus i keep alistair a warden so he's left alone in the aftermath of a blight that took everything from him#and i know the end card was retconned but it says that he was so hurt over the warden's death#that he said it wasn't the same anymore and he fucking *left* the order and fereldan and his whereabouts are unknown after he made#a small monument for duncan in his birthplace like.... again i know that was retconned since he obviously didn't leave the wardens but OOF#oh and don't even get me started on morrigan and how she responds to being rejected like i'm chewing on all my furniture right now#there is so much to dissect in that conversation and i'm too emotionally drained to handle it right now...
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33(???) days until Charlie...
#mira draws stuff#fate charlemagne#charlemagne#fgo#fate grand order#fate extella link#charlemagne countdown#do you ever think about how the pain at losing Roland and Olivier and the other paladins belongs to Charlie alone and not Karl#because I do and it pains me#the image of Charlie sobbing while holding Roland's dead body in the aftermath of Ronceveaux lives in my head very vividly rent free#sorry for the feel punch today but I gotta live up to my blog's tag line every now and then
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