#my heart is beating so hard and fast
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More on the carsickness haha bc it’s such a sweet and like niche hc but also like makes so much sense ?? Also because I’m obsessed w atkh at the moment just like probably everyone else who ever stepped foot into ur tumblr page lol. How do you reckon fictional George ends up finding out about it? Bc obviously this fictional Matty is less of a complainer and more likely to like pretend everything is fine ig? I guess it’s just one of those things that he’d notice when they spend more time together?
ALSO. Since I’m here, and you said send asks so you can’t stop me ;)
I have been slacking on my atkh chapter comments and I realised I was sooo taking them for granted SO
Starting from the chapter where he breaks down at fictional! George’s, OH MY GOD ????? Written to perfection and I cried. I feel like it’s just such a good way for it to all happen but also so devastating?! And they fact that he’s finally realising that he was soo wrong about everything So then I’m super glad that they got some time to like- be happy- even if you’re going to crush that for a bit..
And then the chapter w charli and everything was so sweet. Fictional Carly is really just another mini protector
The SLEEPOVER ???? Was definitely NOT too self indulgent from you I ate it up oh my god.
And then the date oml. I love anything w the horses in tbh it all seems so personal and real. And the blushing oml so sweet.
Hope your team win the hockey game ? If that’s still going?
I am going to start off by apologizing for how long this response is I got very excited about your WONDERFUL ask...
IDK maybe I'm just projecting but like Matty, fictional and IRL just gives me "gets carsick vibes" so like he will be getting carsick in all of my fics lol Also thank you SO MUCH for being obsessed with ATKH because I am also very obsessed with ATKH and I am just so excited and so grateful that people are enjoying it and will to chat with me about it because that is what I want to be doing at all times lol I don't know if Fictional!George is ever explicitly going to find out - but if he does its probably going to be in the sense that they're going somewhere that's further away, Fictional!George is driving as always, and it starts out fine, but maybe they hit some stop and go traffic, and it's just taking forever and Fictional!Matty has gotten quieter and quieter, and he's got his forehead pressed against the window and his eyes squeezed shut and he is breathing really heavily and Fictional!George is like what's wrong you're really pale and Fictional!Matty is just like "I need you to pull over as soon as you can because I am going to throw up" and Fictional!George is like 😮 what shit and is scrambling to try and pull over and is just like in awe of how calm Fictional!Matty is about the entire thing and is like why didn't you say anything! But Fictional!Matty is just like I get carsick it's fine and Fictional!George is like THIS iS NOT FINE HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS and next time they go on a roadtrip he's got like water and ginger ale for him and like anti-nausea lollipops and is READY.
No part of me wants to stop you keep the asks coming this is absolute AMAZING and thank you SO MUCH for taking the time to read All the King's Horses I'm just so extremely grateful for everyone who has given it a chance and who has taken the time to chat with me!!
AHHH I'm so happy that you liked the chapter where they really ~talked~ about Fictional!Matty's history, that was one of the very first chapters I saw like fully formed in my mind when I started outlining this fic! It had moments where it was hard to write, but looking back I am happy with how it came out! Fictional!George is very obsessed with Fictional!Matty and that line between love and hate when it comes to obsession is very thin... but yes! They are going to be happy for a little bit 👀
I LOVE Fictional!Charli SO MUCH she is the MVP and the voice of reason in this fic and Fictional!Carly is a compilation of all the fabulous wealthy women who ride at my barn and have adopted me as their like bonus adult child I love them all so much and am so grateful to them and have had so much fun turning them into Fictional!Carly
HEHE I was so excited about the only one bed thing, that is like one of my FAVORITE things and I was so happy and excited to like full send it lol
YAY! I'm so happy that you enjoyed the date chapter! That was another one that was very self indulgent because I NEEDED to get Pop in there - I had to make some major edits to that chapter because I had accidentally made Pop the main character haha he might be the main character in my life but I was like this fic is about Fictional!Matty and Fictional!George not you Pop lol He retaliated IRL today by getting his third eyelid stuck over his eyeball and absolutely freaking me out because he can never NOT be the center of attention lol I was also really amused by how much Fictional!Matty was blushing - part of me worried it was too much but I was also like this fictional man has hardly had anyone do anything truly nice for him just because, ever, in his life, so he is going to be so anxious and embarrassed about it the entire time.
LITERALLY AS I WAS ABOUT TO START TYPING THAT IT WAS IN OVER TIME AND I WAS HORRIBLY STRESSED MY BOYS DID IT MY FAVORITE PLAYER DAVID PASTRNAK FUCKING SCORED IN OVER TIME HE WON THE GAME FOR US WE ARE GOING TO ROUND TWO OF THE STANLEY CUP PLAYOFFS I CANNOT RIGHT NOW OMG LETS GO MY FAVORITE LIL NOODLE!!!!!
❤️❤️❤️ALLY
#allylikethecat#ask ally#anon ask#keep it kind#fanfiction#matty fic#gatty#all the king's horses#equestrian au#atkh#i cannot form thoughts right now omg#i cannot believe they actually just won in over time#my heart is beating so hard and fast#omg#i cannot believe this#fuck we have to play florida now#fuck#i have matthew tkachuk ptsd#but also thank you so much for this ask#it was so long and lovely nad made me so happy#you are so wonderful#thank you thank you thank you#MY TEAM DID IT#also coming back to add omfg i am sorry i said lol so many times in this#i was very amped up from the hockey game and did not proof read#but i think its too late to change it so…
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on today's menu of 'How anxiety is ruining my life':
I have a doctor's appointment today at 17:45 and have been sitting on my couch in freeze mode since I got up this morning.
I am so anxious that my heart has been beating out of my chest all day, to the point where I feel like I might soon pass out. My stomach is also very nervous today and...it shows.
My head is spinning with all the different possible scenarios of what could happen at the doctor. Worried that my results might come back all messed-up. That I might have to take all these meds. That I have to undress, that I have to be weighed. These things will trigger me SO BAD, I know it'll take me days to somewhat recover.
I have done research, though, and know that I can decline to be weighed and to get undressed, if it's not absolutely necessary to treat whatever might be wrong with me. So, if she wants to weigh me, I will muster up all my courage and ask, "is this necessary? This is extremely triggering for me"
This is exactly why I haven't really been at the doctor's for last 10 years or so because my anxiety gets so bad and because, unfortunately, almost all my experiences with doctors were so bad, who wouldn't avoid going there? But I know that this checkup was necessary and that I need to know what's going on internally with my body.
It's just...with everything going on with my mental health and me pouring all emergy into bettering my mental state, I just feel like I cannot worry about physical stuff, too. Like, if something comes back abnormal today, I will be f*cked. Because I have no more energy to invest into taking control of my physical health when I'm already doing so much to get a grip on my mental health.
Anyway...
#I have been in a state of panic ALL DAY#My heart is beating so hard and fast#That I know if she takes my blood pressure it's gonna be through the roof#I just have to dig deep and dare tell her that I'm incredibly scared of doctors and that this right now is literal hell on earth for me#personal#mental health#anxiety#fear of doctors
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really. for real. deadass. on god. are you kidding me. if these problems aren't my fault then why am I always in the center of them
#mine#🎸#😀😀😀 are you fucking kidding#bro does NOT care what is happening rn. feel sick to my stomach<3 aha#genuinely what is the fucking problem i am trying to eliminate all the sources of problems but they keep coming up#what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!#if im not doing anything wrong then what is the problem. seriously seriously seriously im going to punch something#im going to kill something even. why me huh why me i care so much and this is what i get#ahaha if im everything you wanted what is the FUCKING PROBLEM#cant help but crying now what the fuckkkk can this stop happening to me already#im trying the hardest possible ever yet this happens. even when im not fucking trying at ALL this happens i seriously cannot win dude#i was happy to finally fucking be able to tell everyone about us and not have it just be a 'oh.. we arent friends anymore' situation AGAIN#some higher power has it out for me i am 100% sure. how many horrible things can happen to one guy#really. really. really. for fucking real. really. really? really. i cant wait to murder god#😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃#my heart is beating so hard and fast#He does not feel the same any more.#ok i cried for a long while im so annoyed. send me insane stalker asks to make me feel better and fuel my ego
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I’M A WHORE FOR HE/THEY/IT MOANS AND PROUD TO BE ONE
#my bunny’s moans are music to my ears#also so fucking hot#dick’s rock hard#cunt’s soaking wet#heart’s beating fast#queer nsft#trans nsft#lgbt nsft#t4t nsft#thirsty sabre#🌻
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supernatural au where ghost is a flesh eating ghoul and soap is painfully human
in the middle of las almas, soaked in rain and blood that feels a little too close to soaked earth, soap asks - begs - ghost if he'll eat him if he dies here. ghost has to swallow the urge to promise that he will; that he'll savour him, let his body and his memory keep him warm and full as he mourns
not a drop would go to waste
and soap... soap needs to know that he won't be left in this place reeking of death and betrayal. the thought that he could fall in one of these back alleys and be left to rot and bloat, his ribs eventually cracking open and exposing his soft insides to the mexican heat fills him with a unique dread
he needs to know he'll be brought home
but scotland hasn't been home in a long time. england never came close; the various concrete bases he’s shuffled between no better than the blending walls of hotel rooms to his teenage eyes
ghost wouldn't drop him off at the nearest morgue to be planted a field with a cookie cutter headstone to be forgotten. he would consume him; piece by piece, bite by bite. it would probably take hours - days maybe - of slow, devoted feasting
but ghost is nothing if not persevering
ghost would give him a home and a duty to fulfil, even in death. he would make it so his body served a purpose just as he's served all his life
served his parents. served god. served the military. poor, aimless soap- always longing for a reason, a higher calling
what higher a calling is there than feeding a starved man?
#ive been considering the inherent love of cannibalism recently in case you couldnt tell#happy halloween#soap covering asking by framing it as a joke#as if ghost cant pick up the way his voice wobbles#as if he cant practically hear his heart beating in his chest from the other side of las almas#hard and fast and /alive/#so so alive#and so afraid#ghosts never been looked to for comfort#he feasts on the flesh of the dead; the very thought of him made people afraid and violated#and yet heres soap; asking him to do the one thing thats in his nature#the one thing hes always been rejected for#simon riley died starving#and ghost rose a starved thing#but soap… soap may be the one thing that could make him full#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#ghoap#ghostsoap#soapghost#ghost#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#soap#soap cod#john soap mactavish#cannibalism#gore#kinda but best to cover my bases anyway
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"And soda; runs off into the street..." "...and soda... is totally okay!"
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#cw blood#something something cracking open a boy w the cold ones#IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES I MISSED I SWWWEAR TO JEBEDIAH. IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA DIE IT NEEDS TO BE DONE#ALSO RRRAAAHAHHHGHGH CAN I JUST TAKEA SECOND TO SCREEAAMM ABT HOW MUCH I LOVE SODA AND EMIZEL.. LIKE THERYE SO CUTE....#THEY ARE HOMIES THAT KISS EACHOTHR GOODNIGHT. THEY CARE SO MUCH FOR EACHOTHER. SODA LOVES SODA AND SODA LOVES YOU#do u guys remember how willing he was to share blood w his vampire bestie. like cmon. remember when emizel memorized sodas Soda Schedule.#LIKE CMON.... they just have eachothers backs so much. ouhhh my god... ANYWAY SO THE ART HUH. I FEEL LIKE I SCRAMBLED W IT FOR A WHILE#DRAWIN IS HARD..... i think i did well in the end tho.. i like the lil heart beat effects. and i hope i made soda look Suffieciently Scared#i ALSO had fun w the teeth. i however did not have fun w the walls. if i had more drugs i mightve done every brick in more detail#but i didnt WANNA!!!! this will suffice.I HOPE IT FLOWS WELL&THAT ITS CLEAR... IVE STARED AT IT SO LONG IT IS NOW VISUAL SOUP. HELP!!!#i want my comics to have more Pauses and Space and Thought and Momence. i feel like normally they go so fast. but THIS time#i think i did good.... huuoouhhhh.... comics are HARD art is HARD but i am HARDER. or something. OH YEAH I HAVE MORE ART THINGS#soda was RLY HARD FOR ME TO DRAW FOR A MINUTE..but i like where his design is now. i wanted his hair to be curly swirly.like soda fizz#i THINK thats all my thoughts for now. if u have thoughts u should spill them in the tags i looooove reading tttaaggsss#have a goodnight i gotta go to work soon. maybe. unless the casinos power goes out AGAIN. OR SEOMTHING... UUGHHH MY SCHEDULE IS IN SHAMBLES#I THOUGHT I WAS WORKIN 3 DAYS INA ROW SO I RENTED A WHOLE DAMN HOTEL BC THE JOB PLACE IS FAR AWAY.. I HAD TO CANCEL THE WHOLE RESERVATOn#annd im MMMMAD ABOUT IT!!! like ill get over it ofc BUT IM PEEVED!!!! IM INCONVIENIENCED AND GENTLY AGGRIVATED. BUT OVERALL FINE.#hope yalls weekend goes well. sleep well. if u get the chance to.
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I'm getting anxious now that I can sense Sukuna's death drawing near. I hope Gege gives him a decent death—one that is gentle, and not humiliating. (Even if he doesn't deserve it)
I hope he gets to meet Gojo one last time.
Imagine Satoru playfully mocking him for losing to Yuji, and Sukuna simply gives him that soft look (TM) while saying that the damage he dealt him is the only reason they were able to succeed asdfghkdfht
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#ryomen sukuna#gojo satoru#sukugo#my post#I'm unwell#I'm mourning him already#I thought Sukuna died for a sec when I saw the leaks today and I got so upset lmao#my heart started beating fast and shit that can't be normal😭#I don't think I've ever simped for a character this hard...#he mentioned gojo this chapter too gege you can't keep doing this#please let them reunite#If Yuji is the one to teach him love I swear..#I love Yuji but c'mon love was brought up for god knows how many times ONLY during the Sukugo fight and Sukuna keeps thinking about Gojo#Gojo is Sukuna's Geto I said what I said
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80s and 90s rock/metal men musicians are just their own type of genre. I don’t know if I should be jealous of their eyeliner skills or in love.
#rock n roll#80s#rock music#glam rock#rock#classic rock#hard rock#My heart is beating so fast just watching them shred that electric guitar#motley crue#van halen#megadeth#metallica#guns n roses#bon jovi#la guns
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everyone in my school loves to scream as louyd as they can on purpose to hurt me just because they can
#I'm lying if it isn't clear#but god fuck does it feel like this sometimes#my heart is beating so fast and I feel so sick some girl decided to just start screaming as loud as possible for some reason#it was. excited screams but it was so loud it was so so loud and I immediately flinched and grabbed my head and started breathing hard#its so Painful its like someone is scratching me or scaring me withreally frightening stuff#I fucking hate being autistic sometimes man#OKAY TO REBLOG BY THE WAY. if you have felt like this#listen to my gibberish boy#they all turned to look at me too I saw out of the corner of my eye#its so upsetting here they changed the rules so that the only quiet classroom is now the designated eating spot#for 25+ people#its a small classroom#its really really bad and the school isn't fixing it or doing anything about it and every day is hell because#lunch and break are the only times I can recover from class#and now I Don't Have That#I am on the edge of breaking the fuck down I hate this#my brain is WEVIL#<- meant to say evil but wevil is funnier. my brain is WEEVIL you guys. bug
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bad day all around 👎🏻
#first of all i thought i was gonna faint right in front of my coworker speaking to me earlier this morning#like i had to basically take items stocked on the very top of the shelves and put them on the shelves and i guess im not that okay with#heights bc i was pretty afraid of being so high up the ladder + having to handle glass bottles#so i guess that made me start sweating a lot i was so hot and then my heart started beating so fast i thought i needed to sit down right#there lmaooo my face have been so red 😭😭#anyway im fine now my legs just feel a bit weak still but 👍🏻#and then i got an email that my order for the camera i was looking forward to was cancelled and reimbursed bc the address was wrong#(it wasn't i just forgot to specify the province but like. that's also in the zip code?? but like ok my bad. couldn't you have informed me#before placing the order though. or before cancelling it.....) anyways now the price went up by 10€ and it's not that much but like....#it's the principle hdjfjfjfj idk it was upsetting bc i was looking forward to it being shipped today so 😓#plus it's been raining so hard#at least from Sunday i have a week off💆🏻♀️
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,
#shut up j#tag vent#sort of ? not really just . spewing thoughts#I don’t know how to talk to people I used to talk to all day every day 🥲#I love them so much but seeing messages makes me feel so much dread because I just. don’t know what to say or how to be or like#and it’s so hard !#because I want to talk to them I reeeeeally don’t talk to. like. anyone. ?? I guess hahahaha#that’s dramatic obvs I have some people I talk to often and people I talk to sometimes and like. I have people#but these were my best friends and they were there for me through so much and vice versa and I never used to have to try this hard#and I kinda felt like I accidentally pushed them away when everything fell apart offline last year (I threw myself into kpop to escape)#so I know I literally am the problem and the flaky friend but I want to be able to fix it and I don’t!!!!! know!!!!!!!! how!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#one of them just messaged me to say hi hope ur well and it made my heart start beating so fast. why am I anxious abt someone being nice 2 me#what an absolute headfuck idk idk idk idk idk I feel so awful and i have no right to be so stressed about it. but I am#this doesn’t make any sense I will be deleting#I just ! needed to. yeah#anyway
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I am going on an adventure in the morning I am so excited less than 12 hours
#finally seeing my buddy for hella belated yule and christmas celebrations#i remembered allergy medication this time too because i love his cat but am so allergic!!#and as long as i dont whip my head around or like stand up really fast or run i am not even dizzy anymore thank frick#and so so much blessedly calmer. i didnt realize how hard my heart was beating over everything#and how much my more anxiety/ocd enduced thoughts were taking such a toll#im gonna take a bath and read! im going to be so relaxed and smell so nice and feel so warm and happy#then im gonna be a little shit in totk and use a whooolllleeee bunch of amiibos to get so much foods#and do hogwild on finding surprises
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i think my adhd meds need the dose reduced bc i feel horrible but also ive been on the same dose for months and have been completely fine???????? ugh
#vent#my heart beats so fast and hard and my head hurts and i cant sleep which is definitely making the headaches worse#but i dont want to risk going back in progress and being depressed and exceedingly tired all the time to the point i slept 16 hours a day 😭#i like being awake all day i can actually do things like a normal human being but good god i feel awful#the meds are my only guess?? cause i havent been doing ANYTHING different#but the meds also havent been changed since like march so. idk. all the symptoms feel like they come from the meds. ugh.#or i may be dying again but who knows im taking an ibuprophen and laying down for several hours ✌️
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the very thing i was worried and upset about when i found out my mom was pregnant is coming to fruition….
#hooray i love navigating my volatile mother made more volatile by the raising of another child#he’s reached the naughty age and sometimes she yells at him or hits the table and it makes my heart beat very fast and hard#and she’s never physically hurt any of us but it still scares me so much#and I thought we were done with that i thought i was done being in a house where children get yelled at#WRONG#and i can never bring myself to leave the space. whenever my brother or sister got in trouble they would come to me or i would be there#as a buffer#I can’t walk away#講話
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wanna make out and grind against each others thighs until we’re both worked up and needy and wet……. then finally slide my hand under ur boxers to hear you gasp as my fingers brush against your needy tdick and then slip a couple fingers into you and feel how open and desperate you already are for me <3 - shark
FUCKKKK holy shit please the moment you slid your hand down my pants id just moan into your mouth and grind down harder, so absolutely drenched its almost embarrassing, trying to fuck myself on your fingers subconsciously
#my heart is beating so hard/fast rn it reminded me to go put my fitbit back on#im going CRAZY inneed you to.be back here NOW#asks#anon#sharkftm
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FUCK i had to pause again. he's been impaled.
#my heart is beating so fast rn#i hate this i hate this i hate this#uh#cw dean's death#i am not ready for his lil monologue#also i keep thinking of the scene in lets take a drive (i think?) where this happens but kinda different#and then cas comes and saves him#god that would have been so perfect#and i find it hard to believe that sam wouldn't even at least TRY praying to jack
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