#but i think its too late to change it so…

[keyotos]

“please stay” after a nightmare from aventurine pls!!! i 🫶 how u write him hehe <3

the way that i am

summary ↯

aventurine's nightmare has him spiraling left and right. and also into you.

apart of the niche microtropes event!

word count ⎯ 3.5k

tana's thoughts ⎯ i am so sorry i got to this so late! i started working at a hospital this summer (working, not volunteering—BIG SHIFT YAY) so i've been a bit occupied!

aventurine doesn't even bother to look at the clock when he jolts up. his back is utterly slick with sweat—a feeling he detests. the room feels as though it's spinning slowly, then quickly, and slowly again. the cavity where his heart lies is pounding.

his fingers grip into the hotel sheets as a way to tether himself back to reality. but the attempt proves to be futile. his breaths have gotten even shallower before; aventurine begins to think that he may pass out from hyperventilation.

this is not the first time something like this has happened. aventurine knows what the protocol usually is. he'll be awake for a few more hours, and then eventually fall asleep for an hour before he has to wake up again.

however, this time it's different. swarmed by not only his childhood, but also red splotches covering his hands, rough metal, and thousands of eyes glowering down at him. everything overtook him—multiple topics all at one time, crashing down into his mind.

the hotel room was pitch black and frigid. the thin covers that the "5-stars" establishment provided did not render any heat whatsoever. not that it mattered to aventurine at the moment. his body felt like it was running a fever: how a nightmare could make him sweat, ache, and scalding was beyond him.

his sweat began seeping through his shirt, causing the material to stick to his skin. he needs it off.

aventurine didn't bother to turn on any lights (or use his phone light, even)—he doesn't think he could bare look at himself if he did. when dealing with nightmares, most people usually shake it off, distract themselves, and fall back asleep. but for aventurine, the waves of shame that wash over him are strong. dismay, embarrassment, and regret are some of the few emotions that crash into him left and right.

the mirror is hard to stare at after a nightmare. aventurine recalls one night—when he was a bit younger—where he turned on the bathroom light to wash his face. upon seeing himself in the fluorescent glint; a lethargic, sullen, and heavy reflection looked back at him. sunken eyes and cheeks that sink down to the floor—both paired with a sickeningly pale face.

he retched in the toilet shortly after.

aventurine put on some slippers as he stumbled on the way to the closet. luckily for him, it was right across from the bed, giving him easy access to change. however, the trip to the closet was still full of its' challenges: aventurine ran into the bed-frame multiple times, and almost tripped on his own feet.

yet, he managed to be successful as he hastily unbuttoned his previous shirt to slide on a new one. he would call it luck that he didn't run into the corner of the bed-frame.

aventurine didn't bother to finish buttoning up his shirt. his mind reeled to the next thing his body needed: a cold glass of water.

though the new shirt alleviated some of his discomfort, he was still running hot. sweat still beaded down his head, and he ran a hand through his damp, blond hair to straighten up.

with a bit more shuffling, his hands guided him to the door to leave his room. aventurine considered sleeping on the couch for the rest of the trip—not wanting to be back in that room for the next week—however he was worried you'd begin to question his antics.

you're smart. you catch on instantaneously and you're too quick-witted for your own good. sometimes, your big mouth gets you in trouble, but that's why aventurine is your partner: he's damage control. but your biggest flaw would have to be your nosiness. and aventurine—though he harbors no negative feelings towards you (except the minor annoyance)—is not ready to detail the specifics of why he planned to sleep on the uncomfortable couch for the remainder of the trip.

aventurine opens the door and tries his best to not slam it, just so he doesn't wake you. he rubs his eyes and yawns as he traverses down the corridor. his hands are scattered throughout the walls, and aventurine tries his best to not hit any corners as he walks.

there's a slight murmuring noise as he gets closer to the kitchen, and he pauses. there's a bright light being emitted, but it's not from the overhead light. aventurine slows down his breathing (which—is quite hard in his predicament) to better hear the sound.

aventurine's feet creep closer and closer, until he hears the noise suddenly stop. now would be a good time to go back to your room, he internally voices. but aventurine doesn't move. he's planted on the ground, anxiously anticipating what would come next. he doesn't know if it's due to shock from his nightmare, or because he was too exhausted to move any more.

"hey. what are you doing up?" you turn the corner, shining the light from your phone to see.

aventurine moves his hand up to cover his face from the light, "aeons, that thing is bright." you lower the brightness while aventurine puts his hand down. he continues, "you're going to go blind looking at that thing in the dark like this."

this is how it always goes. pretend nothing ever happened. no nightmares, no terrors, no deep-seated fears. aventurine was just tired, which wasn't exactly a lie.

he just hopes that you won't be able to see through it like everyone else does.

"i'm pretty sure that's a myth," you put your phone in the pocket of your shorts. the dark setting makes things a lot more intimate, aventurine thinks. he gulps—thankful for the darkness concealing it—and tries not to dwell on the topic for much longer.

"pretty sure that it's science," aventurine responds, leaning on the wall.

you mock him, repeating his words in a distorted voice that makes aventurine question what he is still doing here. yet, he doesn't leave. not even when you say, "since when do you know anything about science? aren't you a glorified tax collector? shouldn't you be worried about... tax evasion?"

the blond rolls his eyes, even when you couldn't see it. "it's basic knowledge, first of all. and i worry. how are you supposed to complete our mission if you can't see?" he lets out a yawn afterwards.

"yeah, yeah," you say, voice drawing out, "whatever. i know you just secretly care for me!" you tease, attempting to poke him in the shoulder, yet missing due to the lack of light.

funny, aventurine thinks. real funny.

"you also never answered my question by the way. what are you doing up?" you ask.

internally, aventurine sighs. he should've known that you would've circled back to that. he thought that exhaustion would cloud your judgement too (considering that it was 2:30 in the morning), but alas, it has not.

sometimes, he thinks that nothing could cloud your judgement, even if it was the strongest effort in the world. aventurine has always found it admirable, though he would never admit it.

"no reason. i'm just not feeling tired," he lies, standing straight up. it makes no difference really, because it wasn't like you could see him anyway.

"you lying liar who lies!" you laugh, "you just yawned like... thirty seconds ago."

aventurine brushes you off, "that doesn't mean anything."

"if you yawn that literally means you're tired," you exaggerate, "pretty sure that's science."

"do you really have to mock me at two in the morning?"

"um, is there ever a time to not mock you?"

aventurine groans. this time, not out of exhaustion. "how are you not tired yet?"

"i haven't gone to bed yet," you shrug, "like, at all." in the darkness, aventurine can see you fiddle with the string of your pajama shorts. "i've always been that way—abnormal. but i'm usually not tired in the morning, so i guess i'm fine."

aventurine hums in response. you talk quite often, but it's not usually about yourself. he leans back on the wall again, letting his head rest as you continue to tell him anecdotes about your chaotic sleeping schedule. this is your normal.

it's certainly not his. aventurine made sure to get eight hours (or more) of sleep each night. he had a routine—a perfectly constructed one, in fact—that would ensure he'd be rejuvenated in the morning. and it was good. it helped him forget; the focus on the ritual would subside any memories of his past that would haunt him.

like tonight.

although, it seems as though his nightmares are an abnormality as well, but he doesn't accept it like you do.

"i'm not gonna pry if you don't wanna tell me," he hears footsteps pattering closer to him. he still can't see you, but he knows you're close. his breath slightly hitches, just in case.

you continue, "but, i can invite you to what i was doing. you know, if you can't sleep either."

before aventurine could reject the idea, you open up your phone, the bright light blinding the both of you. you squeak a quick apology and turn the brightness down, just to where the both of you could see each other.

from his point of view, aventurine nearly has you pinned against him. his body is leaning against the wall, while his arm is propped up on it. you're below his arm, leaning against the wall as well; except, your head is underneath his arm.

you don't seem to notice the position the two of you are in, seeing as you are glued to your phone. in other circumstances, aventurine would've made a snarky comment about it, but the ability to speak was stolen away from him. there you are, right in front of him, obliviously scrolling through your social media. you haven't looked up, not even a glance.

part of him thinks that he should be grateful. tonight has been a rough night, and he's sure that he doesn't look particularly pleasant right now. his hair is tousled, blond strands mangled due to the earlier rustling. his eyes must be drooping, since he's not used to waking up during these hours.

but you don't notice whatsoever. you're here, aimlessly scrolling on your phone—searching up whatever (probably some kind of niche reference)—and not even looking up. and that's when the other part of aventurine comes in. why aren't you peering up at him? do you not feel his eyes boring into your body? can you not feel the rigidity of his stare?

aventurine would do anything to see you glance up: to see your breath hitch when noticing the position the two of you are in, or to finally see you be rendered speechless. he wants to see you hide away from his gaze, looking at anything except for him. then, he might able to come up with a remark as good as yours. only then.

he's torn between two halves of himself. you're his greatest relief tonight (shocking, as aventurine would usually refer to you as his greatest nuisance), but also his greatest fear. when he talks to you, aventurine feels like he's feverous: his heart rate increases when thinking of a retort to your wits, and he shivers with chills whenever you make wondrous and logical reasonings. but he's terrified of what would happen if you saw him—truly saw him. would you be able to come up with a witty response, or would you look at him with pity? would you pull back your punches, replacing your ardent jabs for dull responses?

aventurine didn't want to lose that.

"found it!" your excited voice knocks him out of his head. you click on a video of a wooden bowl filled with water and some blocks. or cubes. or spheres?

"um," aventurine peers down, "what is that?"

"wood soup!" you enthuse, scrolling through your social media to find more.

aventurine decides that he is lost. "wood... soup..."

"i don't see why you're so baffled by this," you shake your head, "it's not edible if that's what you're wondering. it's water and wood, ergo the name is: wood soup."

you pull the blond down a rabbit hole of wood soup videos, and aventurine becomes glued to your device with you. the two of you were definitely standing there for more than five minutes. you glance at him a couple times—just out of the corner of your eye—and aventurine has to suppress the urge to swallow every time.

"oh, oh," you pull up another video, "this one is my favorite!"

you've said that about ten times now. you definitely have not been keeping track, but aventurine has. sometimes, his gaze switches from your phone to you. you're distracted enough that you didn't notice him staring. aventurine silently thanked the aeons for "wood soup" being a distraction.

"this one is pretty good," aventurine murmured down to your neck. he occasionally felt his eyes sag, but blinked a few times to get rid of the fatigue. he rubbed his hand against his eyes to wake himself up.

"works like a charm, doesn't it?" you voice is soft when you give aventurine a slight smile. "these videos always put me to sleep."

you look up at him—actually making eye contact—and place your head on the spot on the wall directly under his arm. your arms are crossed over your chest, and you're biting down on your lip in an effort to not smirk or become smug.

aventurine knows this expression. it's your, "i was right from the whole time" expression.

and for a second, aventurine is scared. he should've walked back to his room earlier, instead of getting swooped up in your presence. judging by the expression you're donning at the moment, aventurine can tell you have him figured out. you were right about his lying earlier, and now you were gonna question him. and what was he going to say? what excuse was he going to come up with now?

would he tell the truth and reveal his most vulnerable bits of himself? what would you even think of that? what would you even say to that? aventurine admits, he's always wanted you to be rendered speechless, but not like this.

and what would you two be afterwards? not just coworkers, as aventurine wanted it to be originally. but you two are far away from becoming close friends. you are the person he needs by his side right now; you are one of the most important assets in the game he is playing. he can't lose you now.

and there's one more reason for aventurine's fears. though he will never admit it: he enjoys spending time with you. from a mission standpoint, you are one of his perfect partners. you balance him with your wit and observation, while he balances you with calculation and persuasiveness. but it's not just that. you're funny (annoyingly so) and you distract him. you make it easy to forget everything else when you're standing in front of him. sometimes, his heart races and all he can think about is you, you, you; every beat of his heart is a syllable of your name.

you make him feel normal. aventurine always knew he was abnormal, whether it was due to his eyes or status, he always knew. and then you waltz in, making sure that you are the weirdest person in the room. it makes him feel okay. safe, even.

safe. aventurine's heart is pounding out of his chest, waiting for you to say something. you make him feel safe, he realizes.

he can't lose you now. not like this.

you tilt your head, glancing up at his face. he watches as your eyes move from the furrow of his eyebrows, to his drooping eyelids, to his pursed lips, and to his slightly clenched jaw. you bite the inside of your lip—a sign that you want to say something, aventurine notes—and let a light sigh slip.

"rest up," you nod, placing your hand on his shoulder. your thumb brushes the fabric of his shirt, barely covering his shoulder. you're nearly touching skin. "you look like you need it," you quietly chuckle. if aventurine heard correctly, you muttered a soft, "yeesh," as well.

aventurine let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. you didn't say a thing. and that may be for the better.

you didn't pry, like you normally would. there were no additional questions. no follow-ups, no interrogations. your fingers brushed his shoulder and he had to make sure he wasn't going delirious from lack of sleep.

nothing was ruined. everything is okay. he is safe. it is a mantra he repeats in his head over and over. he had to make sure it was real. aventurine thought about pinching himself, but feeling your hand on his shoulder was enough evidence for him. your hand hasn't moved. neither has he.

aventurine's eyes are wide when he looks at you. you give him another small smile, "goodnight, okay? i don't wanna see you when i'm awake at 3 in the morning," you joke. "i have a feeling you get real cranky if you don't get your 12 hours of sleep."

first of all, it's 8. aventurine fought off the urge to correct you. this moment was too good to be true.

he couldn't go back to sleep after this. not when he'd be thinking about you and your hand all night. not when he knows that he'd be putting his own hand on his shoulder, recreating how you brushed it with your delicate ones. most of all, he felt like he couldn't fall asleep without you there with him. a chilling realization, he notes.

this is definitely one of the most craziest things he was about to do. insane, actually. when you're about to pull your hand off of aventurine's shoulder, he places his hand on top of yours, trapping it there.

"please, stay," he breathes. it's a shaky plead, and you can feel his hand tighten on top of yours.

"um," he looks around the hallway the two of you were in, "in my room."

you blink, "what?"

aventurine begins to chastise himself. this was a dumb idea. you shouldn't do this. run. but he continues, "could you stay with me in my room tonight?"

is this selfish? possibly. aventurine knows that you and him aren't close enough to share a bed. you guys haven't even shared a drink yet. but he needed you tonight. you help him feel safe. secure. okay. normal.

just for one night, could he indulge? he trusts you.

you blink a few more times. your chest has an unsteady rhythm of rise and fall. has he done it? are you speechless?

"uh. um," you pause. aventurine can tell that you're debating between yes and no. he waits, staring back at you. you bite back down on your lip, turning away.

"you know what. sure."

you and aventurine stumble over to his room in the dark. your footsteps are the only audible noise in the hotel room, and it invites an air of close intimacy between the two of you. he falls into bed first, with you awkwardly clambering in after him.

aventurine lies down like a stick at first. you are not much difference. your back is facing him, and you realize that the two of you cannot fall asleep like this.

you sigh and turn around, facing the blond next to you. it's awkward, for sure. anyone would probably be able to tell that neither of you has gotten into bed with another party before. but you've seen your fair share of movies, so you come up with an idea.

"turn around," you mumble. aventurine listens with no retort on his tongue. you gulp.

"let me know if you don't like this, okay?" you inch closer and closer to the man beside you, until your chest touches his back. you feel him tense, and you inch away a little. you bring your arms out in front of you and wrap them around aventurine.

aventurine's body is taut at first. he's stiff as a board, and you let go a bit to get him to relax. his hand slowly comes up and brushes over where your hand is. he grasps onto it—not as tightly as before—but a light touch, as if he was curious if you were still here or not.

"is this okay?" you whisper. your body is so close to his. you feel insane.

"yes," he responds. he isn't sure if he's capable of saying any more words. aventurine is already worrying that you can hear the way his heart his clamoring. he doesn't want to worry about nonsense spewing from his mouth as well.

your chest is pressed directly against is back. his instincts tell him to squirm away, but is body is telling him to stay right where he is.

later, when he feels your chest synchronize with his, he sighs. your head digs into his shoulder, and he's nearly about to fall asleep. his past nightmare has been forgotten. a topic for another time, he thinks.

you speak up again, your voice no louder than a whisper, "did you know that cuddling leads to an easier time falling asleep?"

aventurine lets out a light chuckle, "really? and how did you know that?"

"oh, i don't know. science?"

[mandatory-ftmbreeder]

Some people have been asking so here’s the story of how i had a threesome with myself (trans guy), my boyfriend (cis guy), and our new fwb who is a divorced single father of 3 (cis guy) tldr; i understand why this guy has 3 kids cuz i would also let him put a baby in me again and again.

FOR REFERENCE: Single father = D, my bf = P.

I was traveling all day on the 28th (had TWO flights to get back to where i live) and i didn’t get home till 1 am. But thankfully D was still up to meeting up with us despite the late hour and we got to his house at 2 am.

We walk up to his front door and I can see this man is watching freaking heroes of the storm gameplay on his tv, he opens the door and is wearing a onesie lmfao. We walk in, its a small but very cozy house with a large couch. I sit on the couch in the middle with D to my left and P to my right. We talk about random video game shit for a bit, glance thru his tv and put on a random anime episode. During this my bf is cuddled up to my side and I’m moving my leg closer to D till its pressed against his.

D gets up to get water and my bf whispers to me that I should put my hand on D’s lap when i get back. D returns, it takes me awhile, but I eventually do put my hand on D’s thigh. It doesn’t take long before he’s doing the same to me. We talk a bit more like this, starting to rub each other’s thighs, we change the tv to 21 jump street, laugh at the stupid shit in the beginning, and then my bf starts encouraging me to put my hand on his dick. Slowly, I start to rub where I think D’s dick is and eventually I find it and shit. He’s already fully hard.

I’m also rubbing my bf’s dick with my other hand while I do this. Both of them are rubbing higher and higher on my thighs and D is rubbing my cunt through my shorts. I tug at D’s onesie and he opens it up for me and this man is FULLY naked underneath it. I grab his dick and start jerking him off. Bf tells me to return the favor and yanks off my shorts and boxers.

D gets down between my legs and starts eating me out with a passion. Clit sucking, lapping at my hole, going crazy. My bf takes off his bottoms as well and we end up in this triangle where D is eating me out, I’m jerking off my bf, and my bf is sucking D’s cock.

We move to the bed and I lick/suck D’s dick for a bit (but i have a small mouth and my jaw gets tired very easily unfortunately). Thankfully my bf LOVES sucking cock so my bf tells me to ride D’s face while he sucks D’s dick. We do this for a bit before I move down and start to ride D.

and holy fuck. Hooooly. Fuck. The moment this older man’s dick is in me I can tell I am in for a good fucking time. It fills me up so fucking good, stretches me and goes in me deep without hurting me (I’ve taken a dick way too big before that DID hit too deep and hurt me.) and even though I’m riding D, he’s also very actively participating and fucking right back up into me. Shit. It felt so good. I end up also slobbering all over my bf’s dick while D fucks my brains out and I bounce on it like a mindless slut. From this point onwards my brain is a mess because that dick renders me incapable of proper thought.

We fuck like that for awhile before my legs get tired so I lay on my back, legs spread open wide by D. And then D gets out this amazing huge powerful wand vibrator and thats when I know I am REALLY, REALLY in for a good time. Getting fucked by this man while a vibrator on my clit is so FUCKING GOOD. While this is happening sometimes I’m jerking off my bf or sucking his dick, or D is sucking his dick.

D decides to give my bf a turn fucking me. Bf mating presses me while I open my mouth wide and stick my tongue out and let D rub his cock all over my tongue and lips. I also suck on the tip and lick up and down it too. Moaning like a fucking bitch in heat. Doing this until my bf cums inside me.

Then we change positions again so I’m on my back, ass hanging off the side of the bed, while D stands up and fucks me. Back to using the vibrator again and this shit is fucking magical. And let me tell you all… D knows how to fuck. This man knows. how. to. fuck. He doesn’t hesitate to move me around however he wants, spreading my legs wide, folding me practically in half, yanking me closer to him so he can fuck me better. He puts his hand on my lower pubic area and pushes upwards so it pulls back the foreskin on my clit so i can feel the vibrator against it better AND HE DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO ASK IF I WANTED IT. HE JUST KNEW IT WOULD FEEL GOOD FOR ME. (Probably because I clench really hard when something feels really good but yknow lol)

At this point we have to take a short 5 min water break (neither D nor I have cum yet, bf did cum and is just chilling) and my hair is literally WET and matted with sweat.

D and I go back to fucking in the same position. I end up taking control of the vibrator while he keeps fucking me. Bf is whispering naughty shit to me, telling me how much of a slut I am, how much I very obviously enjoy this, while D says how fucking tight and good my hole feels. D ends up cumming inside me and a few seconds later I’m able to make myself cum with D’s cock still in my cunt and holy. fucking. shit.

I screamed so loud my bf thought I was giving BIRTH. Listen, when I cum, I’m usually a quiet guy. I rarely make any noise and if I do its usually a few quiet whimpers. But this time… I genuinely could not fucking control myself and I was screaming LOUD. I wasn’t playing it up, I wasn’t faking it, that shit was from the SOUL. My orgasm is so fucking overwhelming it lasts a solid 45 seconds and i’m nearly screaming the entire time and my legs are shaking so hard D has to hold me up. Towards the end of my orgasm D pulls out of me and I can feel a thick string of cum leak out and go right down my entire ass.

My bf and I were literally laughing at each other after I finished orgasming like “um holy shit what the HELL was that???” girl idfk either.

And afterwards I felt very at peace with myself and so deeply satisfied all I could do was laugh and be sleepy till we got home and fell asleep.

Thanks for reading my sexcapade. Hopefully I’ll have more in the future with D to tell about later.

[daenysx]

i got bored so here are some modern!james potter headcanons;

um- sunshine energy at its finest!!

james is one of the prettiest boys you could ever see in your life

his smile lights up every room he walks in

he has to take extra five minutes every morning to fix his hair because he always puts his head wrong on the pillow and messes the shape of his thick, wavy hair

heavy sleeper!! (cutest though, sometimes he sleeps with his mouth open)

he's a morning person but he usually goes to bed early, claiming he has to get 8 hours of sleep

sleeps naked. to your delight.

he likes getting slow back scratches and massages, he is addicted to get kisses on his neck and his cheeks, he LOVES being babied

always runs hot even when the room is cold. he's generous too, he holds your cold body in his arms until you get warmer

i once wrote that he makes the best iced lattes in the morning, i still stand by it

he'd practice to be perfect at making your favorite drink (mine is iced latte so i had to say it-)

breakfast fan!!

he never leaves the apartment with an empty stomach, the worst he can do is take some snacks or fruits with him if he runs late

loves morning runs, morning walks, morning work outs, morning stretches. anything to wake his body up

and we probably all know this but james potter is the type of man who knows his body well

he looks good and he knows it

he also knows what he should do to take care of himself and his health

i mean he likes waking up early and starting his day, but he'll stay in bed with you if it means he'll get cuddles (especially when it's cold)

he tries to wake you up by bribing you with promises of a shower together and breakfast prepared by him

speaking of showers-

um- if you don't mind me being a little smutty here,

james potter loves eating you out

and he loves it more when he gets to wake you up to his mouth

and he does it again when he convinces you into shower

he does it for his own pleasure really

because it feels so good to keep his mouth on you and rubbing himself to soft blankets at the same time

this man is never- and i mean never ashamed of coming into his pants

like seriously, just think about it

he adores that feeling of falling apart for you, he doesn't even need to be touched

needy. and that's hot.

he makes noises in bed. never stays silent. always tells you how you make him feel.

he likes being called 'my love'

king of getting you flowers because 'they made him think of you'

he makes fun of his blurry sight every time he loses his glasses

he can't read for long (sleepy boy alert) but he likes it when you read a book out loud for him

tries to compete with remus on how many movies he can watch in a row without falling asleep

he loses of course

he complains about sirius' smoking (stop acting like a saint prongs) but he takes a few drags when he's too stressed

now that's the thing- james potter doesn't like to burden others with his stress

he keeps things to himself when he's not joking

his glossy eyes give him away though

precious boy

he blinks a few quick tears on your neck when it gets too much

let's keep going with happy james because i can't handle the thought of him being sad

the best hugger ever!!!

strong arms, broad chest, smells perfect, knows how to squeeze your body with the best amount of pressure

you forget everything when he holds you

he never pulls away from a hug first

just my dream guy

another thing- he is so proud of himself when you laugh at his jokes

has a group chat with remus and sirius

never stops sending memes, sometimes drives remus insane

his spotify playlists are so complicated because his music taste changes with every song

he wants you to choose the music every time you're in his car

guys- james potter brainrot is something else, i swear i love him so much

that's all for now, let me know if you'd like a part 2

[flowerr44444]

http://www.leg.state.fl.us/statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&URL=0800-0899/0847/0847.html

Here are your definitions :)

The book you mention "Heather has two mommies" falls under those definitons on account of this fascinating image i attached below

I highlighted the part that's i suspect confusing to the lawmakers.

Its pretty fucking weird i gotta say. Bcs i cant make heads nor tails on where the hell is that guy kissing the child. /s

Like the headtilt is borderline odd./s

I can't figure out where is the nose of that kid pointed. At which point i arrive to conclusion this is some odd lip kiss. Which is criminal like legally.

The thing is the intent doesn't matter but the final effect does. So.

(Anyway checked again about why the thing got relocated to higher grades and it wasnt actually this image part (??!) but im still confused as to wtf is it allowed, the mommies are great but wat the hail is this page fr, i get it may be supposed to be a head kiss but it just doesnt look like one at all)

The second book you mention was banned on different legal grounds disconnected from ISP branch as stated here

The two things are as far apart as they can get.

Context clue 4 u -> the law doesnt prohibit talks about "stranger danger" or bans introduction to the lgbt shit at 4th and further grades so the book should be very much accesible at that point. (Probs even a famous interschool read, afterall it was a hot topic)

And its not like the same law makes it illegal by homosexual couples to educate their children how they wish to. Most kids dont notice conciously that someone having "two mommies" or "two daddies" is a weird thing till, as they stated, above ig 10 y/o so the law doesnt affect much outside "political principals". So effectivly its just a rule about "dont talk about sex and dating" but you can "teach about reproduction as science" before 10 y/o is achieved.

I think it's a pretty good safeguard overall since most adoptees or bio kids from lgbt couples get normal info from direct source they can talk about between themselves and there is no 3rd party fearmongering about evil gays or enabling grooming attepts via lies on how homosexuals function. (Thats def a common trumpist fear, not that they know much as most population is heterosexual and as such doesnt seek out info, except regretably via explicit material which is most common to come across but lately she-ra, owl house and arcane seem to be changing things)

I would suppose gay penguins weren't into teaching reproduction so they got banned on those grounds (kinda hilarious to me but as a 9 yo i would probs get offended later on behalf of bad lgbt rep and lesbophobia since the penguins are most often in BL situationships which would lead a child to think that perhaps lesbians don't exist irl)

Tbh i can understand worries concerned with left wing educators bcs holy shit certain usa pride marches are straight up degenrate in comparsion to european ones

(i just wish they banned priests too :( )

(Anyway if bible was to be analised under gender id and obscenity laws scope then i bet we could ban it :D )

Additionaly, you can access 4chan bcs its servers are not in your states territory physicly probably, therefore do not fall under the porn ban which is regional law and not federal law

The state cannot forbid you access to "foreign press" lets say, under democracy that is

I don't take anything that doritoassrapist says seriously. He can suck dongs all day long with those speeches idc what he says. That is but one scrote, i would rather monitor gatherings of them - the current porn ban has not affected anyone outside the sex industry since becoming a real thing. The law itself cannot be misunderstood in legalise so it cant touch other laws unless the phrasing will be changed in it to allow for that. At which point the effects should be reported in the news. Nothing like that happend so no worries about it.

I would say to be concerned more about changing definitions in obscenity laws

Tumblr is not a website with adult content officialy. The rules are against it but they cannot censor literally everything bcs of artistic rights. The porn ban is in effect but there is no ban to advertise porn or real life abuse per say which is The Problem

Tbf if they forbid ads with the stuff or made a comprehensive mandatory education on school levels on recognising abuse we wouldnt be having as many problems as now with grooming on tumblr dot com

VPNs actually sell the info they gather so its a real 50/50 here

I belive what they write down with proof and when i see how it works. I'm gnostic atheist. Gender self ID is the same to me as christianity. I hate both sides equally well, no need to get prissy. (Yes I belive gender dysphoria is a thing (as in genitals and second sex characteriscs like beards owned being hm odd to someone for 10 years straight after puberty). Yes trans people exist to me but definitly not in the "non binary" box with other "two spirits", the same way i don't belive in female or male souls. Or souls as a general concept. Or being trans bcs of gender roles and patriarchy fetish (disturbing crowd which you probs already encountered here))

And so far the only people concerned about how the system works are not much from left or right since they all base it on non empirical beliefs today.

The left looks like this to me:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/video/news/video-3293649/Video-Trans-activist-climbs-chair-flashes-bottom-twerks.html

The right looks like this to me:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/dec/07/arizona-polygamous-cult-leader-child-abuse-samuel-bateman

Its like a populism bingo lately :/

Anyhow, i belive the porn ban laws accomplish the purpose given to them based on my own conclusions. It will just take getting the ban set up globally for it to take real effects in fighting the trafficking behemoth. Which will take next 100 years...

(in my country the porn ban is actually a left wing lgbt representant idea so i have a bit different angle here ig)

:

"they weren't trying to keep kids off the site, they were trying to verify everyone's ages"

porn makes you stupid

[madaboutmunson]

Fluff

For @strangerthingswritersguild prompt : ‘Fluff’

Word count: 3824

——————————————————-

Eddie parked up and took a few grounding breaths before leaving his vehicle.

He knew he, Steve, was gonna be here today, and today he was gonna ask him out. It had been ten years and times had changed a little, and he now knew Steve wasn’t the kind of guy to knock him out if he found out he was gay. After Robin revealing her coming out to Steve story.

And, he’d totally wait until one of them was leaving so it didn’t have to be awkward.

But this was Eddie, and never mind the path of true love, none of his paths ran smooth and if it looked like it was, he’d better watch out for the sudden long drop to sink hole he was about to plummet into.

So when Eddie checked himself over in the mirror one last time, and was giving himself a pretty intense pep talk in it, he didn’t catch the dark green Jeep Cherokee pull up next to him.

He also didn’t see 1996 Steve Harrington hurry in to the building arms laden with things.

Eddie grabbed the card with wad of cash in it, for the new happy couple. He’d been doing pretty well for himself lately, and Dustin and Suzie were only just reemerging into the world after being in the academic world for so long. He wasn’t even sure if they had any intention of leaving it.

He hopped down out of the van and smoothed over his suit which he had to compromise on, suit he could do, but tie and buttoned up the collar? Absolutely not!

But as he slammed the door shut and locked up, he heard a way too close.

“What’s up, nerd?” Followed by a sweet laugh Eddie would know anywhere, and he knew full well that laugh continued because Eddie had jumped out of his skin.

“Steve!” Eddie can’t help the way his face lit up at the sure and happy smile directed his way, “Good to see ya man,” he beamed and stuck out his hand.

Steve looked down at the ringed hand between them, pulled a face as he scoffed a laugh, grabbed Eddie’s hand and pulled him in for a hug.

“Good to see you again, man. Sorry I hadn’t been in touch more,” He said squeezing Eddie tight and releasing him to step back and look him over, “Wow, you haven’t aged a day. Oddly strange to see your forehead,” Steve chuckled.

Eddie touched his forehead at the mention of it, “Couldn’t keep the bangs if not even Hetfield and Dickenson could keep ‘em,” he mumbled with an irrepressible smirk, “Glad to see a decade hasn’t flattened yours,” Eddie looked up at Steve’s much shorter at the back, but still elegantly swooped over hair.

“Yeah, at least I held onto all the good things from back then,” Steve smiled, “Well most of them. Where’s your date?”

“Ah, yeah, no date for me, for the wedding I mean, I can get dates, lots of them in fact when I’m not all caught up with work,” Eddie cringes internally, and tries to make a save, “Yours?”

“Inside,” Steve chuckled, and Eddie’s heart shattered.

“Cute is she?” Eddie tried to pull a distraction with conversation, whilst his inner minions swept to the shards in his chest cavity.

“The cutest!” Steve beamed, his smile was wide and bright, making his eyes narrow and sparkle. Eddie didn’t think he’d ever seen someone more happy. Maybe his uncle when Steve arranged a secret Eddie trade, after all the upside down business, to get him out of Hawkins and its pitchfork wielding residents.

Eddie nodded as they entered the main building, “I’m happy for you, man,” he said sincerely, because though he wished it was him, Steve really did deserve a happy ending.

“Hey I’m just gonna hit the bathroom before I get into the festivities,” Eddie juts a thumb at the sign in the wall, figuring he can use it as an excuse to reset and start the night over with a different ambition, “I’ll catch you inside, man. You can introduce me to your girl,” he said fondly.

“Yeah! We’d love that. I’ll save you a seat with us. Oh wait a second-“ Steve says back with way too much excitement. He must really like this chick, or maybe everyone else here hates her? But before Eddie can escape Steve is way too close. So close he’s inhaling his cologne, and obviously it’s exquisite.

“You had some fluff in your hair,” Steve smiled and handed Eddie the offending debris.

Eddie chuckled genuinely this time, “Ah, perks of the job free fluff with every stuff.”

Steve wrinkled his nose up adorably in confusion.

“I make toys, teddy bears, Eddies’s-“ Eddie starts to explain, but Steve’s eyes are wide with excitement and he’s pointing and talking over him.

“Eddie’s Teddies! That’s you? Oh my god! Oh my god . My baby loves those. I must have gotten her at least four from the fairytale collection. No more than that. We got some of the professionals' collections too. We’ve got the sailor, the baseball player, the stunt driver, the movie star, and the,” Steve pauses and his words slow down, “and the ice cream man.”

Steve is just staring like he wants to say something but the words won’t come out. Eddie swallows and quickly breaks the tension, “Yeah that’s me. listen I gotta go take a leak, I’ll be right with ya.”

Eddie’s hurries inside the cubicle, screws up his eyes and thumps himself against his head a few times. Idiot. Now Steve is gonna feel fucking awkward all night knowing Eddie had a decade long crush on him.

No. He could save this. Eddie could save this. He’d say it was a thank you. Yeah, a thank you for saving his life. Ok, cool. He was gonna go with that, and meet the love of Steve’s life and then get lost in the party, so he can avoid them for the rest of the evening.

With an emptied bladder, washed hands and an extra fluff check, Eddie entered the main room.

He is mobbed by a large section of the guests, leaving the other seventy percent of the room wondering who the hell he was and maybe he was famous or something. He catches up and then finally gets to congratulate the happy couple and heads to the bar to grab a soda.

He felt a tug on his bracelet.

“Gee mister, that’s pretty shiny. Where’d ya get it?”

Eddie looks down to follow the voice and is met with two huge blinking hazel eyes in a flurry of brown hair.

“I made it, when I was a kid,” he smiled.

“You made it?” the kid asked in awe, pushing the mass of brown bangs out of her eyes for a closer look.

“Sure did. Bit of chain, bit of leather, some snaps and Sabbra Cadabra a bracelet,” he smiled.

She giggled, “It abracadabra, silly!”

“Oh is it now? My mistake. I better go call up Ozzy and tell him.” Eddie played along with a sad sigh.

“Who’s Ozzy?”

“Only one of the greatest heavy metal singers of all time!” Eddie enthused and threw up the horns and made a silly face, which only further plunged the little girl further into the giggles.

“You’re silly. Like daddy, but you’ve got long hair like, uh, elif cub,” she smiled up at him.

Eddie looked around the immediate area and there did not seem to be anyone he would label as a Daddy in the vicinity.

He knelt down to her level, “Speaking of Daddy, shall we go find him?”

“Yah!” She said stretching her arms up to Eddie, which he took as a queue to pick her up, “I’ll show you him.”

And when this little girl points directly at a sweating, out of breath, clearly distressed Steve who was hurtling their way. Eddie’s heart couldn’t decide to soar for his friend being a parent or sink for himself as a kid meant this was serious.

“Honey, you can’t run off like that, ok?” Steve says softly though he was clearly very worried.

Eddie handed over Little Miss Harrington, to Steve, and he immediately relaxes with her in his arms, “Thanks Eddie, I had a bottle mishap and turned away for a few seconds and she was gone.”

He can see the way his brow creased that Steve felt like he really fucked up.

“Hey, it could happen to anyone, man. Kids are so fast, and if I’m anything to go by, very sneaky and creative,”Eddie offered him a friendly smile, and he watched as Steve’s shoulders relaxed one more setting, “How about I come over and meet your date and I can sit with the kid whilst you go get cleaned up and the bottle done, yeah?”

Steve looks confused, but walks towards a table in the corner which it’s strewn with toys, books, pacifiers, an open jar of applesauce with a spoon sticking out of it, a bag full of diapers and wipes and creams, and a spilled baby bottle.

But no one else was there.

Eddie sees the deep blush hit Steve’s face as he places his little girl in a high chair, and quickly tries to tidy up so Eddie can sit down.

But he can’t have that.

Eddie pushes Steve firmly into a seat, then cracks open and puts a soda in his hand as he begins to tidy up his own space. Making it all a show by pretending to sample the bottle and applesauce and finding them disgusting, much to the amusement of the little girl. Even reading passages from the books as if performing on stage. ‘A is for apple’ is performed with such dramatics, with Eddie propping on foot up on a chair, flailing his arms around, even Steve started to laugh.

Once he has two Harrington’s giggling he sits down with a big ‘mission accomplished’ smile. As he raised his eyes, they meet Steve’s sparkling ones, but this time maybe they’re a little for him too.

“Eddie, let me introduce you to my date for the evening. My daughter, Georgina,” Steve gestured to the little girl in the high chair currently chewing on the corner of a book.

“Hey sweetie, This is Eddie. He makes the teddy bears you like,” Steve beamed, but Georgina couldn’t be less interested, in Eddie right now, because the main lights had dimmed to make way for more colourful ones moving around the dance floor.

Eddie wants to leave it there. Accept the facts Steve is a family man now. Move on. But the way he’s looking at him, making him feel like a knight in shining armor, Eddie can’t help himself, and he has to know for sure.

“So-“

“There is no one,” Steve shouts quickly over the music and immediately shrinks back in volume, “I mean, I’m not dating anyone or married or anything. I really wanted to be a dad, and relationships just were not working out, you know,” he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, “So I got a surrogate,” he beams at Georgina, who is clapping her hands and kicking her feet to the music, but quickly casts his eyes down, “But being a parent is a lot harder than I thought.”

“Hardest job you’ll ever do, if you believe my uncle, who technically didn’t sign up for it,” Eddie smiled and Steve mirrored it, “But she’s happy and confident, you’re doing great.”

“Thanks,” Steve says quietly, and Eddie can tell he doesn’t believe him, so he opts for a change of subject.

“Who is Elif Cub?”

Steve’s eyebrows spring up, “Uh, well,”

“Hey man, you don’t gotta say, Gina, said I had long hair like them. I was just being nosy,” Eddie waves the question away, “You want me to grab you another drink or something to eat?” Eddie says standing up.

“It’s you,” Steve blurts out and in response to Eddie’s confusion, “Elif Cub. Has long hair like you because they are you. In a photo on my wall. From the hospital when we snuck people in to play d&d for a few hours.”

Eddie smiles in realisation, “Elif Cub. Hellfire Club.” He puts his hands on his hips and leans into Steve’s space with a smirk, “You have a lot of pictures of me on your walls, Steve?”

Steve’s Adam’s apple bobs in his throat, “Just the one,” he confirms, and Eddie leans back, “But-but I’d like more. I mean we should hang out more.”

Eddie raised his eyebrows in surprise, and slowly sat back down. He looks between Steve and the table a few times and taps on it, before asking, “Is this a pity thing because of the bears?”

A gorgeous smile erupted across Steve’s face and he laughed, “No, but I can’t believe I didn’t realise until today. Robin’s right I am a dingus.”

Eddie’s freshly glued back together heart is pounding ferociously in his chest, “So, by, more photos and hanging out. Do you mean, like, friendly hanging out?” He asked cautiously.

“Well of course it would be friendly we’re friends aren’t we?” Steve said with a furrowed brow.

Eddie was struggling with words, which was extremely rare. He wanted to know if there could be something more but also didn’t want to make Steve feel awkward, if it was a no.

“Ok let me preface this by saying I really love the idea of being closer friends, that is a definite thumbs up from me. Big fat yes,” Eddie laughed a little nervously mostly talking to the table, “But I wanna be transparent about something.”

He raised his eyes and Steve looked like he was hanging on Eddie’s every word, until-

“Daddy? I’m hungry,” Georgina asked sweetly.

“Oh my gosh. Yes. Yes! I’ll be right on it sweetheart, just let me find the… Damn I need to heat it up. I mean darn,” Eddie watched Steve deflate opposite him, and he reached across the table and took his hand.

“Hey, that was my fault, talking your ear off, ok? I’ll entertain Gina the best I can. You sort out whatever you need to ok? You’re doing great,” Eddie smiled at him.

“It was just. I’d just got used to the bottles and jars and now she’s on, like real food, which should be way easier right?” Steve shook his head as he searched through the bag retrieving a few Tupperware boxes, “I won’t be long youre a lifesaver Eddie, thank you. There is some fruit here, honey, ok? Steve said setting the tub of chopped up fruit and vegetables on the high chair, which her little hands plunge straight into, and she starts munching away.

Eddie watches her shovel the beautifully carved fruit into her mouth. Each piece perfectly sized, cut into stars, hearts, rainbows, even some melon balls carved to have a rose like texture.

Steve hurried back from the kitchen area wafting a small meal on a plate, trying to cool it down.

“Ah those Dino chicken nuggets never go out of style,” he smiled at Steve, who gave he a sweet sigh of defeat.

“I honestly tried to avoid them but she really likes them,” Steve shrugged.

“Steve, I see what you’re doing, and you're wearing yourself out doing it,” Eddie says gently. He wants Steve to know he’s not judging him, but he does care about how stressed he seems.

Steve turned his eyes up to his, “Is it that obvious?” He said a little defeated.

“Listen, all these cute things you do for her are great and they are special but make sure you’re in a space to enjoy them too, you know? That beautiful melon ball got chomped on just like the carrot stick in her fist.” Eddie pointed out, “And yeah sometimes I guess you gotta make food fun for kids to get into it, but it doesn’t have to Michelin star carvings every meal.”

Steve scoffs, “Come on it’s hardly-“

“You know what I’m getting at, Steve, and I think I know why,” Eddie said gently reaching over the table, “Your making two childhoods here, right?”

Steve looks at him a little guilty, but Eddie only smiles in response, “Nothing wrong with wanting to give your kid all the things you wanted as a kid, but not at detriment to your stress levels. Kids are emotion sponges. You get anxious, they might get anxious. So try to relax. You’re doing a great job, Steve. Maybe you don’t hear that enough.” Eddie turns his hand reaching across the table palm up.

He watches Steve carefully. Watches him stare at his hand the breath catch in his chest and suddenly how his hand tentatively reaches out and takes his.

He looks up at him, and Eddie knows he’s searching for what it all means, but Eddie just holds his hand, soothingly rubs his thumb on the back of it.

“It’s why I make the bears.” He smiled over at him, and looked out at the dance floor as he continued to talk leaning over the table so Steve could hear him, whilst Gina dunked her Dino’s in their ketchupy demise.

“I had a teddy bear when I was a kid. I took that thing everywhere. It used to make my mom laugh. She called me her Eddie-bear. When I lost her. All I had left was my bear. I couldn’t hug her anymore, so it was all I had,” he swallowed thickly, “You can imagine it got a little grubby and torn, but my Dad didn’t fix him up or wash him. He picked him up and threw him in the trash one day when I was at school. I cried my eyes out. Couldn’t find the thing. He got me a plastic truck to say sorry. Which wasn’t the same, but if you knew my Dad, you’d know that was him trying his best.” Eddie laughed and shook his head as he turned back to Steve, “So that’s why I make the bears, and every bear we make, I keep the instructions to make it. So if my business ever failed, or when I’m not around anymore. No one has to be without their bear. They can get an exact replacement. So I guess we’re both trying to heal our childhoods in different ways.”

Steve nodded, “And the outfits?” He said with a light smirk and a slight sparkle to his eyes.

“Hmmm, let’s just say when I got a little older, I found a different Teddy Bear I wanted for myself, but I wasn’t exactly sure if he would want me back,” Eddie shifted his glance between Steve’s eyes and the table, “And it’s absolutely fine if he doesn’t because-“

“The thing you should know about that Teddy Bear is, they don’t make them like him anymore. He’s a little fragile, and frazzled. A lot of wear and tear. Especially here,” Steve gestured to the centre of his chest, and looked at Eddie with a nervousness he had never seen before.

“So if you want him he’s yours, on the understanding that, he’s a pretty busy bear, and he’s looking for someone to care for, long term. He can’t have any more casual owners, especially not one like you.”

The air got heavy between them. Eddie hadn’t counted on making big promises so fast. He hadn’t counted on Steve singling Eddie specifically out as someone special. What if he screwed up or it turned out they didn’t like one another as much as he thought they might?

It was almost like Steve could sort of read his mind, “But if you’re not looking to keep him for a long time, maybe if he’s still alone in a few years, and gets fixed up a little. Maybe he could handle a play date?” Steve’s eyes had not moved from Eddie’s.

“No. He’s perfect right now. He always has been. I guess I’m just worried because he’s so rare and valuable to so many. To me. What if I accidently damaged him, or wasn’t the good owner I thought I’d be?”

Steve’s face relaxed at Eddie’s concern, “it’s not about predicting the future. It’s about intention.” Steve smiled, and released his hand.

Eddie sipped his drink and mulled it over. Half sort of impressed with the grace Steve is giving him to think about it. If it were the other way around he’d be gnawing on the table between them, in anticipation. Instead Steve cleaned up Gina and her plate.

Then as he looked around the room and his eyes fell back to Steve the answer was so clear, he couldn't believe he took a few minutes to think about it.

He got up out of his seat and walked towards the bar.

Eddie saw Steve’s face and shoulders drop for a second as he walked away, but his smile at his daughter didn’t falter.

As he pushed through the crowd he found Robin, “Hey, how well do you know Steve’s little girl?” He asked, unsure of the situation.

“Uh pretty well, you could say. I designed her last Halloween outfit. I had a ticket to her nativity. Basically co-parented when I watched Steve put a spoon of salt in his coffee and then drink it!” She responded with such affronted sarcasm that Eddie knew he had asked the correct person.

“I wanna ask Steve to dance. Would you watch her for him?” Eddie asked hopefully.

Robin’s eyes went wide, “Finally!” She added with a wide smile and yanked Eddie back towards Steve's table and basically shoved him into him.

“Uh, Steve, do you maybe wanna dance?” Eddie extended his hand out towards his dream guy.

Steve looked at Eddie’s hand and then at Robin snuggling Georgina tightly to her as she shooed him away with her hand like she was annoyed they were still there.

Steve nodded and took his hand.

It wasn’t exactly the slow dance Eddie was hoping for but it was close enough for him to hold Steve like it was.

“I’d really like to give it a shot if you haven’t changed your mind. I mean I’m not perfect, there will be challenges, but I promise,” he said holding their joined hands to his chest, “I will work hard at every single one to keep you safe, happy and in my arms.”

Steve smiled softly, “I haven’t changed my mind,” he said gazing at Eddie.

“I hope you realise this is going to cost me a small fortune now though?” Eddie teased lightly as Steve’s chest pressed against his own.

“What do you mean?” Steve laughed a little confused.

“Well now I’m going to have to make a new bear to look after the original model.” Eddie grinned as Steve rolled his eyes and they swayed to the music.

[stxrslutrestored]

GIVE IT A TRY

pairing; stepbro!jj x reader

summary; your stepbrother finds you indulging in a slightly sick fantasy, and for one silly moment you think he might scold you, but you quickly find that he has been indulging in the exact same fantasy, and it’s high time that you might indulge in it together. 

content; porn, female masturbation, stepcest 

authors note; idk how to feel about the dialogue in this one... took me ages to figure out

people in the world look alike sometimes. it is a completely unavoidable fact. so surely its not that big of a deal that the main man in the porn video you’re watching looks just like your step brother, and the woman that he’s fucking just so happens to share some of your features. it’s a complete coincidence, nothing you can do to change it.

it’s not like you’re thinking of jj while you watch it, not really. sure, maybe he’s flashing in and out of your mind a little bit, but that’s not because of anything in particular, that’s just how thoughts work, right? 

and even if you were thinking of him, what would that matter really. it’s not like you’re actually having sex with him and even if you were having sex with him that wouldn’t actually be so bad as it’s made out to be. hes only your step brother, you’ve not even known him in your childhood, there’s nothing biological. 

take away all the little details and the fact is basically, he is a hot, single guy who showed up in your house and started living there for the foreseeable, living comfortably too, shirt off all the time, pants off too! in fact it’s a custom for him to walk around in his underwear which just proves it. you are absolutely not to blame for the fact that sometimes, maybe, but not really, you think of your stepbrother whilst watching porn. 

the video is getting good now, past that awkward part where they position themselves and are only just starting to get into the feel of it. now it’s fast and erotic and sweaty and noisy and hot. your hand is down your panites, rubbing little circles on your clit to bring yourself pleasure. 

somewhere in the house you hear jj speaking, and for a moment you allow your mind to slip. you allow yourself to picture your own face on the woman in the video, picture jj’s face on the mans. you let yourself think that the fingers rubbing your nerves are jj’s. it seems like faintly in your mind, his voice gets louder, clearer. 

no, his voice is getting louder and clearer. he’s entering your room. but it’s too late, the moment you realise he’s already turning the handle and walking in. you yelp, immediately making to cover up your naked body with the bedcovers. 

in your haste, you forget to turn off the video that plays on your laptop. so for a moment, while you both register what exactly is happening, the room is silent but the moans that play out from the speakers. you shut the screen quickly, which you find might make it even more humiliating. 

you wait what feels like an eternity for someone to speak. and then he does, “were you just watching porn?” he raises his eyebrow. the causal reaction to the situation turns you somewhat defensive. 

“what, like you don’t do it too,” you scoff, but you don’t dare lock eyes with him yet, if only he knew what you’d been thinking while you watched that video. 

he chuckles, “oh I do, I totally do,” he smirks, letting himself in and coming to sit on the side of your bed, you eye him suspiciously. “just didn’t take you for the type to enjoy that kind of cinema.” he leans forward and takes your laptop, and before you can make any kind of protest, he’s opening the lid to reveal the now paused video that you were watching. god, this is humiliating. 

he smirks, tonguing the inside of his cheek, “love this site,” he tells you, studying the video and it’s description. “see you’ve been browsing on the uh.. step siblings category then.” he remarks, and you immediately frown. 

“no i haven’t!” you say, just a little bit too defensively, “i don’t even.. it’s just normal porn,” you frown. it is, just normal porn. there’s nothing in the video description about step siblings at all. 

jj chuckles, “oh cmon,” he places the laptop down so that he can turn to advance on you, “maybe it’s not categorised that way, but don’t you go prentendin’ that them two in that video don't look just like a certain other two people we know.” 

you look away, avoiding all eye contact, “i don’t know what youre talkin’ about. s’just a normal video jj, stop being all weird.” you shuffle backwards in bed a little as he gets closer to you, but unfortunately it’s hard to not acknowledge the fact that you’re painfully wet. 

“i know what you were thinkin’,” he tells you, “i know you were watching that video and thinkin’ just what if that was us two doin’ those things.” he gestures back to the open laptop, now discarded on the covers. 

you want to kick him out and scream at him for being a creep just like any other normal girl would do right now, instead you humour him, “how do you know?” you murmur, barely audible. 

he smirks, “i know,” he begins, leaning close enough so that you have nowhere to go, “i know because i have too. yea, i been on that site, i’ve seen these two in action. I know just how easy it is to see our faces there.” 

your eyes widen as he continues speaking, “so ill tell you all the facts.” he states, “were both seein’ eachother right there,” once more he points to the laptop. “and they,” – the people on the laptop, “are doin’ those moves all wrong.” 

okay. those are the facts. you nod timidly and then he continues, “so i say, we should ditch the video, and do those moves properly by ourselves. huh, what about that?” he raises an eyebrow, leaving the proposition hanging for you to take. 

some might turn him away, but you are a weak woman, and so you nod. “okay,” you tell him, finally finding the courage to look up and meet his eyes, “maybe we could give that a try…”

[1moreff-creator]

New Year's themed ask: What would our beloved classes be doing to celebrate the new year? (I mainly care about DRDT and P:EG, but feel free include mainline games and/or the Another Duology if you want!)

Happy New Year's! (again lol) Let's celebrate the start of 2025 with our favorite killing game blorbos! In particular, I'll be taking the casts of the four fangans I've been most invested in lately; Despair Time, Eden's Garden, One Shot, and Tetro Pink! (Sorry mainline, Another duology and Heartless Deceit, it's been a while since I've thought about those :() This will include both wholesomeness and sadness as appropriate, so get ready for anything!

Minor spoilers for all the fangans mentioned in their respective sections.

By the way, I apologize in advance if a lot of them are just "spends it with family/friends", sometimes I can't think of anything actually interesting to say :v

Danganronpa: Despair Time

Ace: Spends the day with his family, and pretends not to be as scared of firework noises as he is.

Arei: Spends the entire day with her friends (or "friends" while she was in high school, depending on who you ask).

Arturo: Doesn't celebrate, but does keep track of what various celebrities do for the holiday.

Charles: Just a get-together with family. He goes to bed as soon after 12:00 AM as possible.

David: Posts something motivational on social media, sometimes does a themed TEDTalk. Then proceeds to spend the entire rest of his day in bed.

Eden: Celebrates her birthday (31st December!) late into the day with all her friends and family, only to switch to celebrating New Year's the moment 12:00 AM arrives. Basically one long birthday party :D

Hu: Depends on the year. Sometimes she enjoys just chilling with her family, sometimes she accompanies her friends to parties to make sure no one gets hurt. Designated driver when said friends drink alcohol, as she likes to feel reliable.

J: Celebrates with Ryan... mostly the fact that Mariabella is Somewhere Else for the day. Also goes out with friends sometimes.

Levi: Doesn't celebrate, and usually doesn't even notice the new year's coming up until he's woken up by fireworks the day of.

Min: She treats it like any other day, though maybe with an extra family visit. Every year, it takes convincing to get her to stay awake until 12:00.

Nico: Spends it at animal shelters, helping any animals who might get scared of fireworks.

Rose: Spends it with her family, and sleeps through most of it. Takes a lot effort from her siblings for her to stay awake at 12:00 AM to see the change in year.

Teruko: Used to celebrate with her brother, but doesn't bother to celebrate at all too much anymore. She mainly just spends the day trying to get as far away from any fireworks as possible (far too dangerous for her luck).

Veronika: Christmas and new year's themed horror marathon! She occasionally manages to drag someone into it with her, but it's not necessary for her.

Xander: Volunteer work with friends during the 31st, and a visit to his family's graves at some point during the 1st.

Whit: Spends the day with friends, but always cooks dinner at home, usually eating alone since his father's usually overseas. He always makes sure to save some food for his mom, though :)

MonoTV: Treats itself to some of its favorite movies of the year. By which I mean it eats the CDs of said movies.

Mai: Hangs out with both friends and family in a way that makes everyone happy. Or, well, she used to, anyways.

Project: Eden's Garden

Cassidy: New Year's charity stream marathon that always starts a few days before and lasts for a few days after the turn of the year. She streams even through the clock hitting 12:00 in her timezone.

Damon: He prefers to ignore the holiday, but his family gets together so he can't exactly manage it. Still studies for a large part of the day though.

Desmond: Takes it a bit easier on the training for the day, but otherwise doesn't alter his routine too much.

Diana: Hangs out with her friends for a good chunk of the day, and particularly enjoys doing their makeup for any party later in the night.

Eloise: Spends the day with her sisters and mother.

Eva: Doesn't celebrate, and probably spends it studying one subject or another.

Grace: Doesn't celebrate, but enjoys watching the fireworks.

Ingrid: Spends the day with her family.

Jean: Usually out at sea, so he celebrates with his crew, drinking and playing around all night.

Jett: Parties hard with his friends all through the night.

Kai: Other than posting a bunch on social media, he doesn't really go out much, and prefers to spend the day with family.

Mark: Doesn't celebrate, but he does post some kind of celebratory post as Mayhem on social media.

Toshiko: Sends postcards to all her family and likes watching firework displays.

Ulysses: Doesn't celebrate, but his museum offers discounts on New Year's, so there's that.

Wenona: Only celebrates in whatever way benefits her business, as long as it doesn't involve making a public appearance. This usually means she doesn't do jack shit.

Wolfgang: Doesn't celebrate, but he's willing to be designated driver if some of his friends want to party.

Tozu: Practices his evil laugh for hours.

Mara: Puts up with Tozu practicing his evil laugh for hours.

Cara: Uh... she's dead chat I don't think she can celebrate.

Sorry a lot of them are just "they don't do anything" but that's the vibes I get from these people T_T

Danganronpa: One Shot

Aidan: Celebrates Old Year's (read as: doesn't do anything special).

Antonia: Watches the fireworks in Vegas with her sister.

Cass: Doesn't really celebrate unless someone close to them celebrates.

Davis: Spends it with his family at home.

Ellis: Party all night long! There's only a 50/50 chance she actually remembers the hour turning to 12:00 after getting blackout drunk.

Grace: Doesn't celebrate, as they consider it a waste of time.

Harper: Does volunteer work around ver community, but ve's always with ver family when the year turns.

Jeff: Doesn't really do anything, but depending where they are, he might stay up to watch some fireworks.

Kennedy: Looks at several large scale New Year's celebrations, looking for secret symbols in firework displays. So far, she's made the connection between the color red, cacti, and the government of Namibia. He's looking into what that could possibly mean, believing to have connected the dots (author's note: she hasn't connected shit).

Mark: [INFORMATION UNAVAILABLE]

Noah: Gigantic party with his frat. He ends up being the only one without a hangover because of his immunity to it.

Paris: Other than some kind of celebratory post on social media, she goes to the biggest party she can to collect all the gossip she can manage.

Robert: Does exactly what the majority of his demographic does, which generally just involves a family get-together.

Taylor: Stays home with their family, and usually goes to bed soon after 12:00.

Vanessa: She spends it with either her family or her friends, and generally has a blast.

Vivi: Generally takes the night shift at her hospital, since she doesn't care as much about the New Year's as her colleagues.

Monoquin: Indulges in his secret pastime: cosplaying Hope's Peak students. He is a mannequin running a killing game implied to be obsessed with Hope's Peak, after all.

Tetro Danganronpa Pink

I'm gonna list this ones by last name instead of first name because that's how I refer to them in my head and you're gonna deal with it >:v

Chiba: Spends it with her family. Or in the hospital.

Hama: Finalizes rituals to expunge all demons from the year as it comes to its end. This involves an obnoxious amount of salt.

Harada: Spends the day in animal shelters, taking care of any animals disturbed by the fireworks.

Hasegawa: Spends a quiet evening with his mother and sister, sends postcards to his father and his father's girlfriend.

Hayashi: Spends it with her parents, it's surprisingly wholesome.

Hiroaki: Parties a lot with his friends, and sometimes sends postcards to his parents when he remembers to do it.

Isono: New Year's stream!!!

Kamimura: Doesn't celebrate, but does send a postcard to his aunt.

Ojima: Hangs out with his brothers, but doesn't do anything too big.

Okazaki: Offers discounts on her unlicensed gender-affirming surgery, sends ominous postcards to anyone she wants to scare, looks at fireworks and commits some other kind of crime.

Sasaki: Spends it with friends, toasts at midnight with her family.

Tamba: Spends the day with her family.

Tsuno: Volunteer work so no one has a bad New Year's. Sends postcards to everyone she feels would appreciate one.

Wada: Watching Isono's stream.

Watari: Stays with her family until 12:00, and then immediately goes to party after that.

Yanagi: Spends it with his family.

Monomoko: Finds no meaning in the human tradition, so it doesn't do anything special.

I'm not doing the researchers I haven't read staffside sorry :(

-

Well, I hope that got you in the New Year's mood (it's still the 31st in my timezone at least)! Thanks for the ask, and happy New Year's everyone!!! Here's to a happy 2025!

[certaimromance]

ꫂ ၴႅၴ Chasing Ghosts.

Aaron Hotchner x BAU!reader (platonic)

Summary: Everything in your life is finally under control and almost perfect, but somehow chasing the ghost of Aaron Hotchner is still an obsession.

Words: 1,9k.

Warnings & Tags: angst WITHOUT a happy ending. hotch being an absent father figure. so much angst (yes, again). temporarily located after he leaves the FBI. same reader as in "tall child" but several years after that. so inspired by “like him” by tyler, the creator and all the edits with the song that I see. english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).

Note: I've been having trouble getting through the second part of "Tall Child" (if you're wondering if I'll write one, yep, and I hope to upload it soon but I'm so blocked:c). This idea came to me out of the blue because I, too, feel abandoned when I start watching the episodes after Hotch leaves<///3.

The quiet hum of the BAU filled the air, the same familiar rhythm of paperwork being shuffled, pens scratching against files, and the faint sound of voices from down the hall. The office you were in—Emily’s office now—still carried faint echoes of what it used to be. The desk was different, the decor had shifted, but the weight of the space hadn’t changed. It was still steeped in years of hard decisions, late-night strategizing, and memories that lingered even when the man who made them had gone.

Gone. Gone. Gone.

You sighed as you sifted through a stack of reports, scanning them for inconsistencies. It wasn’t even your responsibility—you were just helping out, filling a gap as the team caught up on their endless backlog. You’d been in this office countless times since Aaron had left, but it still felt strange. Like you didn’t quite belong. Like you were stepping on sacred ground that no longer had a place for you.

Being here without him was like being in a different place.

You’d been trying not to think about it, about how long it had been since he left. A year now, maybe more. You weren’t counting. Or so you told yourself for mental health. But in moments like this, standing in what used to be his space, surrounded by the echoes of his presence, it was impossible not to feel the sting of his absence.

You didn’t blame him for leaving—not entirely. Jack deserved his father, a life of peace away from the chaos of the FBI. You’d even admired his courage for walking away from something he’d dedicated his life to…You knew you would never do something like that; he was brave. But nothing of that softened the sharp edge of hurt that had been lodged in your chest ever since the day he said goodbye by a stupid piece of paper.

The truth was, he hadn’t just left the Bureau and all the atrocities that this entailed. He’d left you.

Your eyes flicked toward the desk, now Prentiss’s, and for a moment, your fingers brushed its edge. It was ridiculous how something as simple as the grain of the wood could bring back a flood of memories—of late nights, terse discussions, and the way his voice would take on that steady, commanding tone that somehow made you feel both safe and seen. The way he scolded you when you did things against protocol, the way he almost smiled when he thought you didn't notice, and most of all, the way he left overnight.

A soft knock at the door snapped you back to the present. You looked up, startled, to see Rossi leaning casually against the doorframe. His sharp eyes seemed to take in everything—the reports, your posture, the way your hand still rested on the edge of the desk, as though anchoring you to something unseen.

“Working hard, or hardly working?” he quipped, stepping inside without waiting for an invitation.

You mustered a weak smile. “Just helping Emily with the backlog. Thought I’d clear some of this off her plate.”

He nodded, his gaze drifting around the room. It lingered on the desk, the walls, and the chair before settling back on you. His expression was unreadable, but there was something in his eyes—something knowing—that made your stomach twist.

“You’re in here a lot,” David observed, his tone casual but laced with something deeper.

More than a lot for someone who was supposed to stop doing it on the advice of her therapist.

Because you don’t need to keep hiding you in work. Your life was good now, or so you kept telling yourself. You had settled into your role on the team, earned the respect of your colleagues, and built a rhythm that felt steady, even fulfilling. You went home to a warm apartment that didn’t feel so empty anymore, filled with little things that made you smile: books on the coffee table, cozy blankets, a half-dead plant you kept forgetting to water. You even start to have casual dates sometimes to open your heart to the world.

“Just helping,” you repeated, more curtly than you really intended.

“Hmm.” He crossed his arms, leaning against the desk. “You know, you’ve always been a terrible liar.”

“What?” you asked, your tone, again, sharper than you intended. The defenses around you were activating automatically.

He raised his hands in mock surrender, but the smirk on his lips betrayed him. “Nothing. Just…noticing things.”

Your jaw tightened. Working with profilers meant every word, every movement, was analyzed. You hated it so much in these moments.

“What?” You demanded, unable to keep the irritation from your voice.

He tilted his head, studying you with that maddening patience of his. “You make the same expressions he used to.”

No. No. No.

Do not mention him. Don't make even the slightest reference to him. Don't think about him. Don’t.

The air seemed to leave the room. Your heart clenched, and for a moment, you forgot how to breathe. “What are you talking about?” you asked, though you knew. Of course, you knew.

“The furrowed brow when you’re deep in thought,” he said, his voice softer now. “The way you purse your lips when you’re frustrated but trying to hide it. And now, in this desk…you’ve always been like him. Always will be.”

You’re just like him? You look like him?

A bitter laugh escaped your lips before you could stop it. “Great. I’ve picked up his bad habits too.”

“It’s not a bad thing,” Rossi said gently, his voice softer now. “It just means he left a mark.”

You turned away, pretending to focus on the files in front of you, but the words hit harder than you wanted to admit. Of course, Hotch had left a mark. How could he not? He’d been your anchor, your mentor, your constant—even when you were at odds. And then he’d left. He’d walked away from the BAU and from you as if you were disposable.

“Doesn’t matter,” you muttered, more to yourself than to him. “He’s gone.”

Rossi didn’t respond immediately. When he finally spoke, his voice was quieter, almost hesitant. “Still angry at him?”

The question hit you like a gut punch, and for a moment, you couldn’t respond. Your hands tightened into fists at your sides, nails digging into your palms as if the physical discomfort could drown out the storm in your chest. “I’m not angry,” you said, the words escaping your lips faster than your brain could catch them.

It was much more complex than that. Your feeling was more akin to disappointment than anger or rage because you knew you could never hate him.

He didn’t press further, instead leaning more comfortably against the desk, as if he had all the time in the world. “You know he wanted a life for Jack,” he countered, his voice measured. “You can’t blame him for that.”

“I’m not blaming him,” you said, though it felt like a lie even as you spoke it. “But I don’t get why he had to leave everything.” you snapped, the sharpness of your voice startling even yourself. You turned away, staring hard at the stack of files, though the words on the pages blurred into meaningless lines. “He could’ve stayed in touch. But he didn’t.”

Zero calls, zero messages, zero signs that at least you mattered to him.

Rossi sighed, his expression softening with something like sympathy. “Aaron’s always been good at one thing: convincing himself that distance is the best way to protect the people he cares about.”

You looked away, the weight of his words settling uncomfortably in your chest. It didn’t make it hurt your heart any less. Nothing could ever dispel the pain, nothing but the embrace of the same person who provoked it.

There was a long pause before he spoke again, his tone lighter, almost teasing. “You know, there’s a way to settle this.”

You frowned, glancing up at him. “What are you talking about?”

Without a word, Rossi reached into his pocket. The sound of his hand brushing against the fabric of his jacket broke the tension like a crack of thunder in the stillness. He pulled out a small card and held it between two fingers, his expression unreadable as he extended it toward you.

“What’s this?” you asked, the words coming out more hesitant than you wanted.

“His number,” he said simply. “It changed.”

Your eyes dropped to the card, to the string of numbers printed neatly on its surface. For a moment, all you could do was stare. It felt like the weight of the entire room had shifted onto that tiny slip of paper. Your fingers twitched at your side, aching to grab it, yet rooted to the spot.

“I’m not calling him,” you said, though your grip on the card betrayed your uncertainty.

David smiled knowingly, as if he’d already won. “I didn’t say you had to. But if you ever want to talk to him, you’ve got the number.”

You shook your head. “No. If he wanted to talk to me, he would’ve called. He hasn’t.”

“Maybe he thinks you don’t want to hear from him,” Rossi countered. “Maybe he’s giving you space.”

“Space?” you repeated, the word bitter on your tongue. “Is that what we’re calling it now? Abandoning people?”

“He didn’t abandon you,” Rossi countered firmly, though there was no edge in his tone, only understanding. “He left because he had to. For Jack. For himself. And maybe—just maybe—he thought you were strong enough to handle it.”

The words hit like a punch to the gut, and you turned away, blinking hard to keep the tears at bay. You hated how much they affected you, how much he still affected you. “Well, he was wrong,” you muttered, the words barely audible.

Rossi didn’t argue, didn’t press. “You don’t have to use it,” he said, his voice softer now, almost a whisper. “But if you do, maybe you’ll figure out that he didn’t leave you. He just…left.”

With that, he stepped back and walked out of the room, his footsteps echoing softly down the hallway until they disappeared altogether, leaving you alone in the thick, suffocating silence.

Your eyes fell back to the card on the desk. It seemed out of place there, too bright and clean against the chaos of papers and reports. You stared at it as if it might leap off the desk and demand an answer. But it just sat there, motionless, yet somehow unbearably loud.

Your grip tightened, the edges of the card biting into your palm. And then, with a sharp, decisive motion, you tore it in half. The sound was quick, final, like the snap of a cord that had been fraying for far too long. You tore it again, and again, the pieces falling to the desk in a jagged, fragmented pile. Each rip felt like releasing a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding, like reclaiming some small measure of control over the chaos he’d left behind.

When the pieces were no more than scraps, you gathered them up and marched to the trash can. You dropped them in, the fragments fluttering down like ashes from a fire long extinguished. You stared at them for a moment, your chest heaving, your emotions still raw but now dulled by the act of destruction.

Turning back to the desk, you sank into the chair, forcing your focus onto the reports in front of you. The room still felt heavy, the ghost of his presence lingering in the corners, but you pushed it aside. There was work to do. There was always work to do.

And after all, you were just like him.

[christopher-bangnaldoskzz]

Pairing: Han Jisung x Reader 

Genre: Dark Fantasy x Enemies to lovers 

Word count: 4.5k

Warnings: This story is about to get real dark so if you don't like that shit stay clear. 

Summary: Inspired by the amazing Fourth wing novel's, take a deep dive into my fucked up brain. 

Her whole life, all Y/N wanted was to use her powers to heal those who had been broken. However, she didn't expect her life to be completely turned on its head the moment Han Jisung walked into that hall. He forever changed the way she viewed the world, altering her life in ways she could never have imagined.

Welcome to oddinary!

Your heart pounds in your chest as you wade through the thick, heavy mud, each step a battle against the sticky earth that clings to your legs. Panic grips you as you desperately try to reach him, your voice breaking the stillness of the air as you cry out in despair, "Nooooo!" The sound echoes around you, mingling with the noise of your frantic breathing—the harsh rasp of air filling your lungs as you push onward.

The weight of the mud slows your progress, each movement requiring more effort and determination. Sweat beads on your brow, mixing with the muck that splatters your clothes. Still, you refuse to give up. Your thoughts narrow, laser-focused on the body ahead, a silhouette just out of reach. The world around you blurs and fades, becoming an indistinct backdrop to your singular goal. Every ounce of your being drives you forward, fuelled by a desperate hope to reach him before it’s too late.

“Please.” Your throat tightens painfully as you kneel in desperation, raising your voice to the heavens in a heartfelt plea for mercy. With every fiber of your being, you urge the higher powers to intervene, to grant him the strength he so desperately needs to hold on for just a little longer, to fight through the overwhelming darkness that surrounds him every second.

He lays there choking on what looks like his own blood, fuck he’s bleeding internally, you think, making the final steps towards him. “Ji, I need you—please, he’s dying!” Panic laces your voice as you turn to see him standing there, his brow furrowed with urgency. You catch a glimpse of the bender looming behind you, a menacing figure shrouded in shadows. Without hesitation, he raises his hands, summoning two ice daggers that glint ominously in the dim light. With a swift, precise motion, he launches them towards the bender, their sharp edges slicing through the air as you feel the weight of desperation pressing down on you.

With a gentle tone that conveys both comfort and reassurance, he softly says, "It's okay." Kneeling on the damp earth, he carefully strips clean water from the muddy area. After filling his cupped hands, he hovers them over the wound, taking a moment to assess the injury before beginning the cleansing process.

With deliberate care, he starts to flush out any debris or dirt that may have settled into the wound, making sure to rinse it thoroughly. He watches closely for any signs of pain, doing his best to be mindful and minimise any further discomfort as he gently cleans the area. The cool water flows softly, washing away the remnants of the muddy surroundings, while his touch remains steady and reassuring throughout the process.

As the grim realization dawned upon you, the words "I can't heal him" reverberated in your mind like a haunting refrain. Each syllable felt like a heavy stone dropping into a still pond, sending ripples of anxiety throughout your being. An overwhelming tide of panic began to swell within you, threatening to drown out all rational thought.

Every second that ticked by felt like an eternity, amplifying the weight of the situation pressing down on your chest.

You could feel despair seeping into the very core of your being, a dark shadow that loomed larger as you desperately searched for a glimmer of hope. No matter how hard you tried to muster the strength to do something—anything—the stark reality remained: you were powerless to alter the tragic outcome. The anguish of knowing it was beyond your control threatened to engulf you completely, leaving you gasping for breath amid the crushing tide of sorrow.

“You can… just give me -“ 

………..

*1 year earlier *

“Y/L/N.” The sharp, authoritative call of your last name reverberates through the lecture hall, cutting through the low murmur of voices and rustling papers. You instinctively lift your head, your heart quickening as you lock eyes with your professor. Their intense gaze pierces the crowd, focused solely on you, leaving no room for distraction. The weight of their attention makes your palms slightly clammy, and you feel a rush of both apprehension and curiosity about what comes next. The moment feels suspended in time as you try to gauge their expression.

You pause for a moment, the weight of uncertainty hanging in the air as you gather your thoughts. With a hesitant breath, you finally say the words, "Right, sorry." The sound of your voice is tinged with apprehension, and you can feel a knot of unease forming in the pit of your stomach, twisting tighter with each passing second. As you glance at the group of second-year students, an unfamiliar wave of nervousness washes over you, making your palms slightly sweaty. You wonder if they will even welcome your presence. The chatter around you feels overwhelming, and you can feel your heart racing as you consider your next move, torn between the desire to connect and the fear of being overlooked.

As you walk over to the group, the whispers of students surround you. Passing by a group of second-year boys, one of them suddenly calls out with an exaggerated mock-seriousness, "We don't bite!" His words hang in the air for a moment, and then he adds with a cheeky grin, "MUCH!" This playful jab sends the entire group into fits of laughter, their gleeful voices echoing around the hall.

You are practically shoved in-front of the group as the professor moves you along “Chan, Minho and Changbin… we will not be having this discussion again, just because you have served you first year here does not mean you will live to see your second through…do I make myself clear” he says just low enough so only myself and the boys could hear.

Chan nervously gulps and apologizes, "I'm sorry, sir. I understand my mistake and I assure you it won't happen again."

The professor smiled and said, "Good to hear that. I believe you have a lot of talents, and it would be a shame if they went to waste." He paused for a moment, looking into the eyes of the student to convey his point, then turned on his heel to continue the task at hand, resuming the calling of names from the list with a practiced ease.

You stood there and watched as one by one the first years are being split up into the groups The air was thick with nervous energy, and you could see the mix of excitement and anxiety on everyone's faces.

Amidst the chatter, you heard Changbin let out an exasperated groan beside you. “Good, I hope we don’t get the element bender,” he muttered, his expression a mix of frustration and resignation. You could only imagine the eye roll accompanying his words as he glanced over at you, before turning his attention back to the stage where names were being announced.

As you waited, your mind raced with thoughts of what it would mean to have someone powerful like the element bender in your group. Would you be able to keep up? Would they be friendly or standoffish? And as the minutes passed, you felt the tension in the room rise, each name called out making the stakes feel higher. You looked on, hoping the next name wouldn't be his, but knowing that fate always had a way of surprising you.

As the professor surveyed the vibrant sea of students milling about in the busy atrium, his gaze landed on a young man with tousled brown hair, slightly disheveled from the morning rush. "Han," he called out, his voice cutting through the hum of chatter. The boy hesitated for a moment before making his way through the throng, weaving past clusters of students engaged in animated conversations until he finally reached the professor's side.

With a subtle nod towards our group, the professor gestured confidently, saying, "You will be joining section 3 over there," Pointing right in your direction.

From the back of the group, Changbin let out an exasperated groan, his frustration palpable in the way he crossed his arms tightly over his chest. "Oh, come on, sir," he complained, his tone a mix of disbelief and impatience, echoing the sentiment shared by many around him.

A look of deep frustration is etched on his features as he levels a piercing glare at Changbin, his voice sharp and laced with barely contained anger. "I've heard quite enough out of you, Mr. Seo," he snaps, every word dripping with resentment, as if he has reached his breaking point.

Changbin, undeterred, mumbles something under his breath, his eyes darting away. Meanwhile, a first-year student hesitantly approaches our group, retrieving his belongings with trembling hands and laying them down just in front of you.

“Y/n,” you call out gently, leaning in to engage him.

“What!” he whispers, his voice loud enough to draw attention yet filled with surprise.

With a sweet smile that contrasts the tension in the air, you introduce yourself, “Hi, my name is y/n.”

“Jisung,” he replies curtly, his expression stone-faced and devoid of warmth.

As you retreat to your place in line, a soft murmur escapes your lips: “Trying to be nice, but whatever.” The weight of the moment lingers heavily in the air, wrapping around you like a thick fog.

Chan leaned closer, his voice low and urgent, “If I were you, I’d steer clear of him. Element benders like to stir up trouble.” His eyes narrowed, conveying an unspoken warning.

“MR. BANG... if you or your... entourage so much as make another peep... I will have the entire third section excised. Do I make myself clear?” Chan’s arms flexed at his sides, tension rippling through his body, as he stood firm and unwavering.

“Sorry, sir... I’ll... it won't happen again,” he replied, the fight draining from him as his rigid posture finally eased. You notice the first years filing through, and the third years begin to move over to their assigned sections, a mix of excitement and anticipation in the air.

“My name is San, and I’ll be your section leader,” he announced confidently, gesturing with a welcoming smile. “This is Jamie; she will be your team leader. If you encounter any issues, we’ll be just down the hall.” San’s gaze swept across the group, making eye contact with nearly everyone, his demeanour both reassuring and commanding.

“Alright, listen up, everyone,” Jamie calls firmly, her voice cutting through the chatter of the first years like a knife. She turns on her heel, her long hair cascading behind her as she begins to stride confidently down the hall. “If you would kindly follow me, I’ll get you sorted into your bedrooms.”

“That’s your cue, little one,” Chan says playfully, giving you a gentle nudge from behind as he pushes you out of the throng of students. You glance back at him, ready to snarl, but instead you find him grinning and giving you a thumbs up, his smile annoyingly cheerful.

“What a jerk,” you mutter under your breath, grinding your teeth in irritation as you reluctantly follow Jamie. She leads you into the vast expanse of the first-year quadrants, her authoritative presence commanding attention as she calls out names and assigns students to their respective bedrooms.

“Y/n y/l/n,” she announces, and you step forward, feeling a mix of anticipation and anxiety.

“Jackson’s little sister, right?” Jamie beams at you as recognition dawns on her. You nod slightly, dragging your heavy bag along the polished wooden floor. Jackson, your older brother, had graduated at the top of his class the previous year, celebrated for his exceptional skills as a syphon.

“Cute,” she remarks, her smile warm as she gestures for you to keep moving. As she continues to navigate the massive crowd of first years, her enthusiasm is contagious, drawing you into the excitement of what lies ahead.

“Han Jisung,” she blurts out suddenly as he strides toward the door, his bag slung casually over one shoulder. The name hangs in the air, thick with unspoken tension.

You can’t help but smile at him, your spirits lifting as Jamie walks away, leaving you alone with the new neighbour. “Looks like we’re neighbours now,” you say, emphasizing the word ‘neighbours’ with a playful grin, hoping to coax a reaction from him. But instead of engaging, he merely glances back at you, a flicker of surprise in his eyes before he turns away and shuts his room door with a soft thud.

“Dick number two… okay,” you mutter under your breath, rolling your eyes dramatically at his closed door. The moment feels a little ridiculous, but you can't shake off the intention to break through his stoic demeanour.

With a huff of annoyance, you close your own door behind you, the click echoing in the quiet hallway. You take a moment to collect yourself before beginning to slowly unpack your bag. Each item you pull out—a few clothes, a couple of books, and your favourite Pen—feels like a small step towards claiming this space as your own. Yet, the encounter with Han still lingers in your mind, a mix of curiosity and determination pushing you to try again.

…….

“Yo …..y/l/n” you turn to look at the table where majority of your group is sitting. Well basically everyone but Han jisung.

“Hi!” you reply, your smile warm and inviting as you spot Minho shifting in his seat to make room for you. He gestures towards the empty spot next to him, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Your brother was our leader last year,” Changbin chimes in, his mouth half-full of food, crumbs scattering as he grins at you. “He was absolutely amazing!”

“Definitely one of the best,” Chan adds enthusiastically, leaning forward with a look of admiration. The way he speaks conveys not just respect but genuine pride in your brother's leadership. You can’t help but feel a swell of warmth at their commendation, knowing your brother made a lasting impression.

“Super dreamy,” a girl you’ve never really noticed before suddenly exclaims, her eyes glazed over as if caught in a daydream. Just as quickly, she shakes herself back to reality, a faint blush creeping onto her cheeks.

“Sure, whatever you say…” Chan replies, an eyebrow raised skeptically. He shifts in his seat, sliding as far away from her as he can manage without causing a scene, as if her words were contagious.

“Anyway… he told us to keep an eye on you, so that’s exactly what we’re going to do,” he says, trying to maintain a friendly grin. But the look on your face, filled with irritation and annoyance, reveals just how his words are landing. You feel an overwhelming frustration bubbling up inside you, ready to burst.

“I don’t need you to look after me… I’m an adult!” you snap back at him, your voice sharp and filled with defiance. As the anger flares, your eyes begin to glow a fiery golden hue, a tell-tale sign of your rising emotions.

“Careful now…..” but you are fighting the urge to use your powers to brake his arm.

“Ouch okay….i get it i won’t protect you” he says lowering his voice.

“I didn’t know healers could cause damage like that” chan leans across the table. You tilt your head to the side in confusion.

“Chan is a mind reader” Changbin interrupts.

“Get. Out” you shoot your thought right at him.

“Okay Jesus… I’m out I’m out” your eyes narrow at him.

“Yes healers can also hurt….we have the ability to cripple or destroy bones if you get us angry enough” chan gulps.

“You’re terrifying” he almost stutters on his word. 

“I suggest you stay out of my head then chan” you saying scooping some much needed food into your mouth.

“I like her….can we keep her?” Minho grins, his smile so wide you take it in knowing well this is probably the only time you will see Minho smile.

You giggle as chan slaps Minho’s arm “are you trying to get me killed” he grinds through his teeth.

Not that you could ever kill anyone, besides the threat you don’t have the ability to put bones back together yet let alone break them. The whole room goes silent, and you immediately know who has just walked into the room.

Han jisung is walking through the cafeteria door, it doesn’t take long for people to go back to talking “talk about terrifying” Changbin says.

“I heard he’s an incredible fighter” Minho interjects

You can help but stare at the boy his soft curly hair sweeping over his face. “We will see at training tomorrow” Changbin shoves a stack of meat into his mouth.

“You any good with a blade Y/N” Minho says trying to spark up a conversation.

“Oh ah….honestly I’m not much of a fighter” you say snapping out of your trance.

“Well I can help if you want to learn” his lip twitch into a soft smile.

“That would be lovely if you could” you scrunch your nose at him in a sweet smile.

You swear you see his cheeks go a light shade of pink before he says “okay sweet…I’ll see you fight tomorrow, and we’ll go from there” before he is back to eating again.

“Make sure you get some rest kido” chan says before getting up and cleaning his try.

You scoff at the use of the work kido “I’m 20 actually and you’re not that much older than me” you shout over the crowd.

“Okay noted….no terms of endearment” he chuckles. You shoot him a look and he suddenly remembered you conversation you had not but a couple of minutes ago.

……….

“Okay… it’s just a sparring match, right? There’s no way they’re going to kill me, right?” Anxiety prickles at the back of your mind as you watch the others. They stretch, limbs fluid and poised, their expressions a mix of focus and excitement as they prepare for the randomised testing matches. The atmosphere around you crackles with energy, and the sound of feet hitting the mats and the soft thud of fists meeting pads fills the air. You gulp, trying to shake off the unease that tightens your chest. Each participant seems so confident, so seasoned in this routine, and you wonder if you’re truly ready for what lies ahead. The questions swirl, relentless and insistent, as you try to calm the tumult inside you.

You let out a silent sigh of relief as you reflect on the fact that first-year students are only permitted to spar with one another. It seems only fair; after all, facing off against more experienced second or third-years would undoubtedly be an uneven contest, putting newcomers like you at a significant disadvantage.

The professor’s voice breaks through your thoughts, crisp and authoritative as he announces the next sparring match. “Han Jisung and Park Sung-hoon,” he calls out, gesturing to either side of the mat. The tension in the air shifts, as both students step forward, preparing to take their places on the mat. You can sense the anticipation building in the room, as fellow classmates gather around, eager to witness what promises to be an interesting duel between the two. The atmosphere crackles with energy, and you can’t help but wonder how each of them will use their skills in this competitive setting.

“Take your positions,” the referee announced, his voice cutting through the tension in the air. “You can start the match at any time. No weapons…no powers…hand-to-hand combat only.” A rush of relief washed over you at the mention of the rules; without the chaos of weapons or the unpredictability of powers, you might actually have a fighting chance.

The arena was charged with anticipation, a ring of eager spectators surrounding the Sparing mat. Your heart raced, but you steeled yourself for what was to come.

“I heard he was an amazing fighter,” came a soft voice from behind you. Turning slightly, you caught sight of a young blond first-year student. He seemed almost ethereal, with  hair that glowed in the light and eyes that sparkled . His delicate features were like a finely sculpted statue, and the freckles sprinkled across his nose added a charming touch to his perfectly symmetrical face. He had the kind of beauty that made people stop and take notice.

You couldn't help but feel a flutter of nervousness at his admiring gaze, mixed with the thrill that perhaps, in this moment, you were about to prove yourself as a fighter—if you could keep your nerves in check and harness your instincts.

“Well, we are about to see,” the baby-faced boy replied, a spark of mischief in his eyes.

As the scene unfolds, you can’t help but be transported back to the intense dinner conversation between Minho and Chan just yesterday. The two boys circling each other like cautious predators, each waiting for the other to make the first move. Nearby, you catch a glimpse of Sung-Hoon, who swallows hard, the tension evident on his face. Across from him, Han’s lips curl into a teasing smile, his confidence radiating outward.

“Are you scared of me, Sung-Hoon?” Han taunted, his voice dripping with playful mockery as if he were savoring the moment.

With a flash of determination, Sung-Hoon challenges the laughter rising in his throat. “Why don’t you just yield now and we can call it a day?” he retorts, his bravado barely masking the nerves flickering beneath the surface. In a sudden burst of resolve, Sung-Hoon lunges toward Han, throwing a punch in his direction. But Han, quick on his feet, effortlessly dodges the blow as if it were nothing more than a gentle breeze.

“Good…” Han said, his tone surprisingly serious as he eyed Sung-Hoon. “Next time, don’t step forward before throwing a punch. It's a dead giveaway.” You can’t believe he’s actually taking the time to teach Sung-Hoon.

Sung-hoon lunges forward, delivering a sharp jab followed by a powerful hook, but Han effortlessly blocks both strikes, a smirk playing on his lips. "FIGHT BACK!" Sung-hoon snarls, grinding his teeth in frustration, yet Han remains unfazed, standing like a statue, patiently anticipating Sung-hoon’s next move.

The hushed whispers from the guys behind you resume. “He’s toying with him,” one mutters, barely containing his excitement.

“It’s like he’s analyzing every single move,” the second one replies with wide eyes, captivated by the unfolding match.

“Quick to anger, I see,” Han taunts, his voice smooth and taunting, continuing to play these mind games with Sung-hoon. Confusion washes over you. What was Han trying to accomplish? Then it dawns on you: with each punch Sung-hoon throws, Han is meticulously studying his opponent’s fighting style, pinpointing the weaknesses lurking beneath the surface.

As the fight progresses, you catch subtle details about Sung-hoon’s technique. He fights with an aggressive flair, yet his style is flawed—he leaves himself vulnerable, exposing his body before lunging in to strike. His footwork is clumsy, a lack of balance that makes you wonder how one wrong step could send him crashing to the ground, defeated by his own mistakes rather than Han’s skill.

Jisung snaps a punch to his wide open rib cage and you swear you hear the snapping of bones. Everyone stands still when the blood curdling scream escapes sung -hoons mouth.

“Okay Han…. I think he’s had enough” the professor steps in between the two, jisung had barely even broken out into a sweat.

“Y/L/N on the mat,” you feel as though your heart is beating out of your chest, you begin to sweat there is no way you can fight that good.

“Rowyn you too” rowyn was a rather lanky person. A feeling of self conference washes over you as you take you mark on the mat, looking over to your team where Han now sits in your seat.

“Ready……..FIGHT” your heart beating at an alarming rate, you were not a fighter in the slightest. Yes of course you knew how to fight, your brother had made sure of that but you had never actually been in a situation where you had to before now.

…….

As you lay there on the fighting mat, panting and exhausted from the intense sparring match, Minho extended his hand to help you up. You grasped his hand tightly and he pulled you up with ease. However, as you both stood up, you noticed a look of disappointment etched on Minho's face.

"Well, that was a complete disaster," Minho said, his voice tinged with frustration. You could tell that he was disappointed with the way the match had turned out.

Suddenly, Chan interrupted. "Minho, stop," he said, snacking Minho's shoulder. "I have to agree with Minho, that was pretty brutal," Changbin added.

You couldn't help but feel a little disheartened by their comments, but you knew that they were only trying to help you improve.

“You attacked when you should have been defending” a voice echos from behind the boys.

“Rowyn had the advantage on every front, you should have defended and tired him out” just like that the group turns around to jisung strapping his wrists as if he’s ready to go another round.

“Excuse me?” you retort, folding your arms tightly over your chest in a gesture of defiance. The fire in your eyes reflects a mix of indignation and determination. How dare he question your skills? You’ve trained tirelessly, pushing your limits day after day, and yet here he stands, dismissive and skeptical. You can feel the muscles in your arms tense as adrenaline courses through your veins, igniting a spark of challenge within you. What does he truly know about what you are capable of?

“Ha,” Han chuckles before he looks up from his hand. “Cute, you think because you're Jackson’s little sister that you're going to get a free ride?”

“Excuse me!” you exclaim, your voice rising with anger. Your heart is racing, and you can feel the heat flushing through your cheeks. You've always prided yourself on being calm and collected, avoiding conflict whenever possible. Yet, something about this guy, with his smug grin and condescending tone, sends a wave of frustration surging through you. It’s as if every nerve in your body is ignited, and the usually reserved part of you can’t help but react. You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself, but the simmering rage only intensifies, pushing you closer to a breaking point.

Han scoffs lightly, a mix of amusement and disdain flickering across his face as he pivots towards the gym. He peels off his jumper, the fabric sliding down his arms to reveal a snug tank top that clings to his brawny frame. As he rolls his shoulders back, the powerful muscles ripple beneath his skin, showcasing not just strength but a sense of readiness for the challenge that lies ahead. The air around him shifts with an electric energy, hinting at the intensity of his workout as he prepares to dive into his training routine.

“Come on, Y/N! Let’s get you out of here!” Chan and Minho exclaimed, pulling you away from the training room. “Don’t pay any attention to him,” Chan added with a warm smile, trying to ease your worries. “I’ve got your back and I’ll make sure you get the training you need!” His reassuring words filled you with a newfound sense of energy and determination.

“We all will” Minho adds

Taglist: @daceydeath @krishastumblernow @armystay89 @bakedlilgoonie

[darkmetaknightspussy]

it is so late and i am so wasted so take what i say with a grain of salt but hear me out for a second. throwing my hat in the ring when it comes to the portrayal of sa in epic

i think ‘odysseus’ (the song) would be so much more narratively powerful if odysseus’ status as a survivor of sexual assault in the original myth wasn’t left ambiguous / glossed over as it was in the adaptation. i genuinely love epic’s version of calypso as a character but i feel like the rest of the musical suffers from the decisions they made when characterizing her as far more innocent. especially in regards to how the ithaca saga handles the subject - i think odysseus slaughtering the suitors for planning to rape his wife just comes across as much more poignant and lessens a lot of the weird sexist/fridgey implications if you read him as a survivor of rape himself.

onto that note, i do understand why they chose to redirect the subject of the suitors’ forceful sexual advances from the servants to penelope, certainly. i don’t think that change in itself is particularly objectionable on its own. what i don’t understand is why the assault odysseus faces is erased (due to being ‘too uncomfortable’ to adapt) whereas the assault penelope faces pulls no punches in terms of how explicit it is. why the double standard? it makes no sense.

[vivid-bad-brainrot]

Fav vbs ship?

I would say polysquad but that's too easy so I guess if I had to rank vbs ships itd look like this ^^

And I'll give explanations cause I feel like yapping

🥇Touan!!! ☕️🎧

TOUAN. My love for this pairing goes so deep I am the sole admin for @timelytouan over or Twitter. I'm. A little insane. Bro their dynamic is everything to me its not even funny. I think they have a really wholesome relationship /p and /r and i think its really sweet for an to be such a big proponent of touya getting new experiences and especially watching their relationship grow as the game progresses and seeing the two of them develop an understandingof eachother!!! I've written about 40k words of touan fanfic in total....my little eebies AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON TOUAN PARALLELS. I could do a separate post yammering about that since An and Touya truly are two sides of the same coin

• "we're teammates, so when you're happy, i wanna be happy with you. And when you're sad i wanna console you,or maybe even cry with you!"

• "hehe, you really have changed a lot, touya. Before, i could never tell what you were thinking at all!"

"if we're saying that, isn't it more impressive that you've learnt to understand me?"

🥈Anhane🎧🐹

Anhane is so.....anhane....*wipes tear* I finished writing a 15k words long anhane fic last night so my passion for these two is very strong. I think Anhane is a ship that is prone to misconception especially in the way some people characterize An—how some people just see her as Kohane obsessed and water down her character just to that (the way i see it is that Kohane is a BUFFER to everything that makes An who she is!!! Again. Another rant for another time) While Anhane's dynamic isn't the first of its kind, it really goes deep!! The mutual importance to eachother is so precious to me.... Kohane who was given the chance to grow into her best self and An who gets to gets to share her love of music and Vivid Street. With An's crippling abandonment issues ESPECIALLY regarding kohane, anhane is a ship that is SO fun to play around with wherein it gives you the best fluff and angst....anhane so good

🥉. Akikoha 🥞🐹

Akikoha is one of those ships where I will randomly get hit by the most severe brainrot of my life for a few days and then be fine but have to live under constant threat of gettjng killed by akikoha cuteness... akikoha is just so cute man!!! Disecting them down to a deeper level, I really love how they complement eachother in their world views and how they approach things!! They both admire eachother so much!!! With Akito and Kohane, they seem really different from wachother but all they want to do is prove themselves!!! I also love to see akito hyping kohane up!!! Good stuff!!!

• "Look, there's always gonna be haters. Don't let it get to you. If it bothers you so much what people say about us, shut them up with an awesome performance. Like that other time. Keep your chin high and show them how awesome you are. Anyway, An's really late. Let's go inside. Besides, this way our sensitive member won't have to listen to some guys badmouthing us while they wait for the gig"

"Um... Was Akito being considerate towards me just now?" (LMAOOO 😭😭😭😭)

4. Akian 🥞🎧

Whether you like them romantically or not can we just talk about how banger their dynamic is???? Their constant bickering makes them so fun!! An and Akito have known eachother since middle school and probably met some time after RAD WEEKEND when Akito would sing on the street and catch wind of An. I think this plays in to not only their deep friendship but also their rivalry!! The two of them indirectly helped eachother through their loneliness 🥺🥺 An found comfort in Akitos voice simply being there!! Then we obviously have akitos deep understanding of an (although generally he's just very perceptive of the people around him!! Don't forget!!!) We see in sis bfby and kiuan where akito is able to see RIGHT THROUGH an and call her out on her shit! That familiarity means so much to the both of them and I think their dynamic is SO sweet what the hell man!!! Guys akian is so peak EVERY VBS PAIRING IS SO PEAK

5. Toukoha ☕️🐹

EVERYTIME SOMEONE CALLS TOUKOHA BORING AN ANGEL LOSES ITS WINGS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 NO ONE GETS THEM 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 NO ONE DESERVES TOUKOHA 😭😭😭😭 anyways toukoha get shoved aside alot as the quiet ones of vbs when. Guys. Thes mfs are YAPPERS. Touya and Kohane's autism sync up like Bluetooth. If you want to be enlightened on toukoha I EMPLORE you to go read take the best shot....do it for them.... I wish they had more in game content there's not even alot of them in card stories which is sad because that's usually where u can find the most content for vbs pairings outside of ahn/akty 💔💔💔 I think their dynamic in vbs main story is really interesting....... if you think toukoha is lame YOU are lame 🫵🫵🫵

5. Akitoya

Guys I LOVE akitoya very much they are SOULMATES but I put them down here because I think about them the least (i am biased towards women. Off topic but shoutout to girltouya) and don't trust myself to write an analysis of them 😭😭😭 but I really do love them they are very cute

I know people (at least from my experience in vbs communities) get really defensive over ships so remember that I ADORE all of these ships and brainrot all of them

[miriani-lavellan]

I mean, it definitely was abuse. Whether done out of a sense love or a feeling of necessity, it's still perhaps the worst betrayal a caretaker can enact upon those they look after - especially children.

Caterina clearly does hold genuine love for her boys - she never gives up looking for Lucanis, she allows Lucanis to spare Illario even though the 'traditional' way of dealing with these things is exile or death. Her genuine affection and care for her grandchildren despite how she trained them is not in question. Caterina is a character shaped by cruelty and brutality and who expresses that in a way that's acceptable in the environment she lives in. She also, despite this, cares deeply for her family and wants the best for them. Both things can be true.

What Caterina is, is a woman at least somewhat changed - perhaps too little, too late, but nevertheless one who undergoes a mostly off screen development. With the threat of the Antaam invasion, Caterina realises all this infighting and betrayal has not only torn apart her own house - it'll tear apart the Crows entirely if they don't manage to unite.

So, she tries. She holds a summit, and attempts to get the First Talons working together for the good of Antiva - perhaps closer to what they once did, as something more noble than career criminals and assassins. People with the power to kill the cruel and the mad, to shift the threat from the battlefield and all its horrendous collateral, to the camps of commanders and the parlours of the corrupt.

But it fails. Most of the First Talons are betrayed by one of their own and murdered horribly, and only thanks to Teia and Viago are the Crows saved from being entirely leaderless. And even when Caterina is still around, who do we see taking the bulk of the action against the occupation? Those two.

And that's the point about her, I think. She represents the past, the old way of doing things, a 'necessary brutality,' that's shaped the Crows for perhaps hundreds of years. The scheming, the inter-familial feuds, the power struggles. And everything that suffers because of it.

Teia, Viago and Lucanis represent the future. It's not an accident that Teia and Viago are written to have genuine affection between them (dare I say, they're in love?) and that Lucanis - even without a romance with Rook - is also written as a deeply loving, caring person.

They all express that love and care in much, much better ways than Caterina. Out with the old, and in with the new. And on some level, Caterina knows it's the only way the Crows survive. That the old way of doing things - her way of doing things - is the reason things have been brought to the brink so keenly.

So she steps aside.

Possible unpopular Caterina Dellamorte opinion.

I don't see what she did as abuse in the way many now write her. She has been demonised as a monster and I think that is unfair. Did she perhaps push too hard sometimes? Yes.

Was her training any different than any other Crow? No.

Every Crow goes through brutal training in order to be the best at what they do and maintain their well earned reputation. Caterina had two family members left of the most important House in the Crows after the rest were killed in a war of succession. She'd managed to hold the title of First Talon not only to stay in charge but to protect what family she had left from those who would take it all from her.

She old guard. Lived through the worst of it. Seen what the Black Shadow did to House Arainai and other Crows that pushed their luck.

She's seen what can happen to other Houses... ones people no longer remember the names of. She doesn't want that to happen to Lucanis and Illario. So she trains them hard.

Trains them like a trainer hones the skills of an Olympic athlete to become gold medallists. Like a Shaolin Monk trains an initiate to become a living weapon. Like specialists train spec op soldiers to withstand conditions and situations most others wouldn't. It's painful, harsh and brutal.

But needed. They will become trained assassins...Master assassins. Because they have to be the best, they have to survive and stay on top.

Because there is no alternative.

They are both Dellamorte's. Even if they wanted to leave they'd be hunted down as leverage by other Houses or anyone the Crows have made enemies of.

The only way either of those boys could leave is if they abandoned everything including their name and that wasn't going to happen, they were kids.

And they wanted to be Crows. Was her punishments for failure harsh? Yes. But we have to realise they are of the setting. This isn't a contemporary story.

We also have no idea what Illario was like as a kid either, but if he was as flippant about training as he is about doing jobs as an adult, then we can guess what he was like as a teen.

Did she fail in the way she treated Illario like he wasn't as good? Yes no doubt there, she is partly to blame for some of Illario's issues. But not all of them.

Lucanis though, I see as the quiet one, the one who wanted to do well, to please his grandmother, the only family he has left and that's why he becomes favourite, because maybe he was present, willing and enthusiastic.

It's why sometimes she pushed him too hard and he failed. She's fearful and yes I do think she did fuck up with sending him to bed with no food... but that was a standard punishment at one point, as was using a cane.

Does anyone think a naughty step was around then or would have worked for a family dedicated to assassination??? Plus all Crows go through pain and torture resistance training. Rook would have too. Many seem to forget this aspect. Rook calls Viago's training torture. Lucanis says that he hated her once but grew to understand and respect her cruelty as a way to prepare him for the life of a Master Assassin. Her training saved his life countless times and probably saved him in the Ossuary. He wouldn't be here without what she did. And we see how in Lucanis mind prison His idea of her that holds him back. Spite words it as - both tenderness and terror. rage and relief. Fear of disappointment. She is an icon to him. She survived other Houses trying to wipe her House out. She's formiddable and he admires that even if it scared him as a kid.

She is there in his mind prison because he fears being a disappointment to her, now he is an Abomination. He admires her and doesn't think he's good enough to take her place as First Talon. That's no longer hate. That's admiration. He's not the teen, fearing disappointing her. He's the adult understanding her training made him as good as he is. Yet he fears he failed her by what he became through no fault of his own ( though there is probably a part of him that feels he failed because he was caught). But we do not see Caterina reject him once on his return. She never gave up looking for him once she knew the body returned was not his. We do not see her call him an Abomination. We see her call him her grandson. We see her name him First Talon. Because he is fit for the role. The only one who could be. Often the ones who don't want to lead are the best suited for the roles and she knows it, has known it all along. Illario would never have made a good First Talon. That job involves delegation, empathy and understanding of a situation. He is analytical, keeping logbooks and understanding responsibility - already perfectly suited to the role. Illario jumps head first into things and only thinks of himself, how being First Talon will be good for him. Lucanis would be doing it for the good of the Crows and Antiva. Caterina has failings. That is not in question. She should have been more there for Illario. Nurtured his good points rather than let his bad ones fester. But we do not know what he was like, only how he is now. But she is not a monster and her tough upbringing of Lucanis and Illario wasn't abuse.

[allylikethecat]

More on the carsickness haha bc it’s such a sweet and like niche hc but also like makes so much sense ?? Also because I’m obsessed w atkh at the moment just like probably everyone else who ever stepped foot into ur tumblr page lol. How do you reckon fictional George ends up finding out about it? Bc obviously this fictional Matty is less of a complainer and more likely to like pretend everything is fine ig? I guess it’s just one of those things that he’d notice when they spend more time together?

ALSO. Since I’m here, and you said send asks so you can’t stop me ;)

I have been slacking on my atkh chapter comments and I realised I was sooo taking them for granted SO

Starting from the chapter where he breaks down at fictional! George’s, OH MY GOD ????? Written to perfection and I cried. I feel like it’s just such a good way for it to all happen but also so devastating?! And they fact that he’s finally realising that he was soo wrong about everything So then I’m super glad that they got some time to like- be happy- even if you’re going to crush that for a bit..

And then the chapter w charli and everything was so sweet. Fictional Carly is really just another mini protector

The SLEEPOVER ???? Was definitely NOT too self indulgent from you I ate it up oh my god.

And then the date oml. I love anything w the horses in tbh it all seems so personal and real. And the blushing oml so sweet.

Hope your team win the hockey game ? If that’s still going?

I am going to start off by apologizing for how long this response is I got very excited about your WONDERFUL ask...

IDK maybe I'm just projecting but like Matty, fictional and IRL just gives me "gets carsick vibes" so like he will be getting carsick in all of my fics lol Also thank you SO MUCH for being obsessed with ATKH because I am also very obsessed with ATKH and I am just so excited and so grateful that people are enjoying it and will to chat with me about it because that is what I want to be doing at all times lol I don't know if Fictional!George is ever explicitly going to find out - but if he does its probably going to be in the sense that they're going somewhere that's further away, Fictional!George is driving as always, and it starts out fine, but maybe they hit some stop and go traffic, and it's just taking forever and Fictional!Matty has gotten quieter and quieter, and he's got his forehead pressed against the window and his eyes squeezed shut and he is breathing really heavily and Fictional!George is like what's wrong you're really pale and Fictional!Matty is just like "I need you to pull over as soon as you can because I am going to throw up" and Fictional!George is like 😮 what shit and is scrambling to try and pull over and is just like in awe of how calm Fictional!Matty is about the entire thing and is like why didn't you say anything! But Fictional!Matty is just like I get carsick it's fine and Fictional!George is like THIS iS NOT FINE HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS and next time they go on a roadtrip he's got like water and ginger ale for him and like anti-nausea lollipops and is READY.

No part of me wants to stop you keep the asks coming this is absolute AMAZING and thank you SO MUCH for taking the time to read All the King's Horses I'm just so extremely grateful for everyone who has given it a chance and who has taken the time to chat with me!!

AHHH I'm so happy that you liked the chapter where they really ~talked~ about Fictional!Matty's history, that was one of the very first chapters I saw like fully formed in my mind when I started outlining this fic! It had moments where it was hard to write, but looking back I am happy with how it came out! Fictional!George is very obsessed with Fictional!Matty and that line between love and hate when it comes to obsession is very thin... but yes! They are going to be happy for a little bit 👀

I LOVE Fictional!Charli SO MUCH she is the MVP and the voice of reason in this fic and Fictional!Carly is a compilation of all the fabulous wealthy women who ride at my barn and have adopted me as their like bonus adult child I love them all so much and am so grateful to them and have had so much fun turning them into Fictional!Carly

HEHE I was so excited about the only one bed thing, that is like one of my FAVORITE things and I was so happy and excited to like full send it lol

YAY! I'm so happy that you enjoyed the date chapter! That was another one that was very self indulgent because I NEEDED to get Pop in there - I had to make some major edits to that chapter because I had accidentally made Pop the main character haha he might be the main character in my life but I was like this fic is about Fictional!Matty and Fictional!George not you Pop lol He retaliated IRL today by getting his third eyelid stuck over his eyeball and absolutely freaking me out because he can never NOT be the center of attention lol I was also really amused by how much Fictional!Matty was blushing - part of me worried it was too much but I was also like this fictional man has hardly had anyone do anything truly nice for him just because, ever, in his life, so he is going to be so anxious and embarrassed about it the entire time.

LITERALLY AS I WAS ABOUT TO START TYPING THAT IT WAS IN OVER TIME AND I WAS HORRIBLY STRESSED MY BOYS DID IT MY FAVORITE PLAYER DAVID PASTRNAK FUCKING SCORED IN OVER TIME HE WON THE GAME FOR US WE ARE GOING TO ROUND TWO OF THE STANLEY CUP PLAYOFFS I CANNOT RIGHT NOW OMG LETS GO MY FAVORITE LIL NOODLE!!!!!

❤️❤️❤️ALLY

[cozylittleartblog]

Columbo and the Knight (1984)

put me in the universe where Columbo ran through the 1980s and had a crossover episode with Knight Rider. I think they deserved it, and I am not just saying that because they're my two favorite Old Shows. @telebeast wrote a little fanfic blurb about it and I HAD to visualize it into a comic (which is also the longest comic I have finished thus far at five pages...), so writing credit goes to them.

Autism W!

[llitchilitchi]

Slovak Miku!

[tomatoart]

wait getting ur ass beat is an adhd trait ?!