#my heart beats so fast and hard and my head hurts and i cant sleep which is definitely making the headaches worse

[lycanwlf]

i think my adhd meds need the dose reduced bc i feel horrible but also ive been on the same dose for months and have been completely fine???????? ugh

[xxemosceneacidscumxx]

Dark Link x FEM! Reader

~Puzzling~ part five

(Song: Yeah Boy and Doll Face, by pierce the veil)

I lifted up my head from my hands and decided that I need to leave kakariko. I go back to pearls house and get what was 'mine' which isn't much, but I decided I'm leaving tomorrow. I get my sleep and I wake up early in the morning and exit the village before anyone wakes. I look around and try to decide what direction to go. I know for a fact that the forest is a big NO. I know that castletown is a bad idea too. I remember the doctor by the lake and decide either that, or gerudo fortress. I shook my head remembering that the 'evil king' is literally a gerudo. I take a Deep breath and run as fast as I can in the direction of lake hylia. It took my ALL DAY to get there. It was nearly nightfall when I got here and I'm happy I don't see any stahchildren. I Found the house and I opened the door, peeping my head in. "Hello?" I walk in and look around. Nothing. I know there's no bed in the 'game' and it's just a room with water, but on the other side oof the water there's a ladder and it goes all the way up. I Jump over, and climb it to find that there's a big king sized bed, and another room. I look around. I don't see the old man in the bed, so I look in the other room, knocking on the door. No answer. Out of curiosity I check the closet. I stepped back. All girls clothes?? I stared in confusion, but I didn't complain as I lied down in that bed and rested.

I woke up In this place, however there's nothing here. Just.... Black. I can see my hands and the rest of my body, and all the black around me had a Smokey mist to it. I look around but I don't see anything. I sat down, not knowing what to do. My body jolted and my head whipped around when I heard a horse whinny. I looked to my hard left to see none other than Dark Link, riding his stallion into a full gallop. Without much time to react I ran the other direction; even though I know I most definitely 100% can NOT outrun a HORSE. But still. I push my legs as fast as they'll go, but the horse is catching up to me faster than I can comprehend. I peek behind me again and the horse is.. GONE??? I stood there for a second not knowing what to do. I blink, and now.. I'm in the Kokiri forest, just like the first weird dream I had.. only this time all the bodies were in circles around me, beheaded, and sat upright. I Breathe in and immediately bend over to puke almost all my guts out, because it smells so bad here. I hold my breath, dodge some bodies, and run out of the forest to the best of my ability. I made it to the tunnel that leads out and I was almost to the exit before I ran full force into someone. It kinda knocked the wind out of me. I get my stuff together for a quick second holding my breath because I have a hunch on who it is. I open my eyes to see the young man wearing armor, completely covered in BLOOD. I froze as I looked into his fully red eyes. I'm trying to turn back around, but I can't move. It's like I'm paralyzed. The more I try to move the more it hurts, it feels like I have a Charlie horse in my whole body. I cant even move my head. I look up at dark, not knowing what to do. I can feel the hot tears run down my face in multitudes, as I think about this predicament I'm in. He seems to look me up and down, but it's hard to tell, because his eyes are all the same color. I started to shake and breathe heavier, thinking about what pain I'm probably gonna go through. He slowly bent his head down to make his face level with mine. My heart feels like it's going to beat out of my chest, my entire body hurts from being stuck like this, and my eyes nose, and cheeks hurt from crying. He moves my head up by my chin, guiding my face so that our eyes met. I start to gasp for air, getting more and more scared by the second. He put his finger up to my eye and acted like he was gonna poke it out, but all he did was wipe the tears from it, put his finger in his mouth and smile like he enjoyed the flavor, like my fear was funny or something.. now he grabbed my face again, chuckled and licked up my other cheek, laughing.

I jolt up out of bed trying to get away from him, but I realized that it was only a dream??? I'm hella confused. I breathe heavily- and my heart is beating so fast that it kinda hurts. Ok, just breathe. I slowly got up and put my feet onto the cold wooden floor, and peeled out the window at lake hylia. It is very dark out there. I closed my eyes and sighed, walking over to my bed. I sat down and with lack of better thought I tried to under stand what the hell is going on with these weird dreams. I don't understand why this I'm here in the first place. Or why this bootleg link look alike is harassing me. I roll my eyes and lie back down and I try to go back to sleep, but every time I close my eyes all I see is that evil grin, I ignored it, but the longer I lay here the more I feel as if I'm being... watched. Fed up with this paranoia I remove the covers from over my head and decided that I'm going to stay up for as long as I can.

What feels like an hour or two has passed and I keep dozing off and jolting myself back awake, because I don't want to see what horrors plastic surgery shrek's elf might have for me. I Look over to the window and see that it's getting light outside, I stare at the pink, purpley, yellow sunrise and focus on the ombré affect it has. Focusing on how pretty it is. Maybe I'll close my eyes for just a second. And then I felt myself slipping, but out of laziness I let it happen this time.

[tovanori]

Insomnia when I'm sick because of anxiety???

got the flu this week, and the first couple of days were okay. I could sleep fine. But tonight for some reason its been the worst. I just can't. it's been my worst nightmare.

Pressure in my head, ringing in my ears.The way my heart is beating too hard and too fast is too obvious. My body feels uncomfortable no matter what I do. It feels like theres something lodging up my throat and triggering my gag reflexes everytime I try to even lie down properly.

I can't deal with it. I don't know how to deal with it.

When I'm sick all I want to do is sleep bjt anxiety and whatever the fuck this js preventing that and its stressingme out so much its bringing my fever back up.

I just want to rest.

Nothinf that usually helps me sleep js calming mw down. Not my girlfriend, not my music, not anything.

Im just in this panicked mode and I cant stop.

I just wamt to sleep

please

I've thrown up already so even dry heaving just hurts now because theres nothing there..Im so exhausted but sleepndoesn't come

this is my recurring fear everytime I get sick. Insomnia is the worst. I just want to sleep.

[zarovich]

you know, i think i might be dying but its ok

[levisgirll]

Hello! Can you please do a Levi headcanon/scenario where he hurts his crush's feelings and makes her cry but later regrets it and tries to apologise to her? Thanks!

𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 (𝙇𝙚𝙫𝙞 𝘼𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙣 𝙭 𝙁𝙚𝙢!𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧)

➡text: Hello there!! And omg of course I would be happy to write this out 🥺 the fact that to see levi apologize or own up to his mistakes is something that I would like to even write about- so thank you for this request! I hope you love it anon ♥ (incoming some fluff and you wont regret it!)

synopsis:  it was a long tiring day and with under pressure levi ackerman had, he accidently said something to y/n (his crush!) which hurt her feelings. levi feels terrible and to make it up for it, made y/n realize that levi and her might share the same feelings for each other.

fluff, angst, aot world, imagine fanfiction ♡ —

It was a long stressful day at the Survey crops headquarters building, and Captain Levi was assigned with many paper work to get done with.

The last expedition made Levi worry quite a lot for Y/N and her safety. Sure she was skilled, and a fast thinker but that still did not stop Levi from worrying about her. It was because he was the captain he had to worry about his squad....right?

But after Y/N getting hurt on the last expedition because she is kind of ‘reckless’ to what Levi thinks and used as an excuse, his heart sank and he then realized not only did he care about her too much, but he also developed feelings for her and with time it grew. Just her presence, the way she was, caring, friendly, confident, her natural beauty and a badass made him fall for her more.

But ever since on that day, he blamed himself for her getting injured because she was on his squad team.

The upcoming expedition was next month and he was becoming even more stressed and load with paperwork because it was a bigger mission this time they never had. Y/N obviously noticed that so after having a chat with Hanji she went by to his office and entered inside. They become more comfortable with each other so she was pleased to enter his office whenever she wanted to.

“Hi Levi, how are you?” she said with a bright smile, trying to light up the mood that was surrounding in his office.

“What do you think sherlock?” He spoke in a sarcastic tone and then let out a deep sigh. “O-Oh, Um I was wondering if you would like some help with the paperwork? I am free the whole day.” Her kind gestures always somehow warmed his heart, he liked the fact how in her free time she would always visit Levi and try her best to help him. But tonight was different, it was too much pressure loaded on him, he was not thinking straight.

He didn't respond to her offer and instead he got up from his seat behind the desk and gave her a piece of paper. “Read.” Was what he only said.

You took the paper from him and noticed....you were removed him Levi’s squad! “W-What....why.” You said so quietly but it had a very unhappy tone.

“You know why. You are too reckless, and I don't want that in my squad.” He lied and looked away, it was not because of your recklessness and never was because you were brave and perceptive. But in fact, it was because he wanted to keep you safe and away from harm because this time his squad was placed on the front and he moved you all the way on the back where it was safer. He does not want to lose you.

“I-I don't understand Levi...I though you trusted me-”

“Yea I don't trust you, and I clearly don't have time for you either.” You couldn't believe what he was saying to you, this behavior was out of nowhere and it made absolutely no sense! But, he was your source of motivation and inspiration and when he said that to you, it shattered your heart to pieces. You thought he had faith and trust in you and that's why he added you to his squad, you thought....you were important to him. Well, was important.

“Levi, please this makes no sense. At least explain to me why!” You yelled out, demanding an explanation for what the hell was evening going on.

“Don't argue with me.” He now gave you one of his hateful glares, and you know in a million years you would never be getting that from him, you were completely taken aback now. “Leave now! That’s an order L/N”.

You eyes were widen now, and your eyes were slowly starting to tear up. These words, completely damaged you and your feelings, he even called you by your last name which he never does. You never felt so hurt and your stomach sank which left you static and....heartbroken. Hearing this is a ego-killer for you. The paper you held slowly fell off from your hand, and you brought your hand up to cover your eyes and started to softly sob.

He noticed that quickly, and he wanted to come and comfort you but before he could do that you stormed off, slamming his door, y/n never wanting to see his face again.

Levi took a moment to process everything and then realized he had actually messed up everything. Both of you were so close and the bond and moments you both shared, Levi cherished that deeply. But, he ruined everything, shattered the bond, and now actually ironically losing you. He clenched his fist and closed his eyes tightly, “Fuck...The fuck is wrong with me?! Why am I so damn emotional.” And it was a fact, he was that when he bottled everything up and then let out his steam saying some bullshit.

It was days, and he didn’t even see or hear about Y/N. He did not get any sleep, staying up, overthinking his stupid mistake and regretting this all. His gilt, anger towards himself and grief started to grow by each day, hating himself how he hurt the person he had a crush on and someone he adored a lot which then lead to him thinking how to come to you with his true and deepest apology.

He tried to catch any chance to get you whenever you are alone and say apologize, but whenever he saw you, you would just jolt and try to run away and leave the place.

He then noticed from Hanji and the other scouts such as Armin and Mikasa that you were clearly avoiding Levi. He caught you by chance one evening as you were sitting down in the mass hall eating your sandwich alone so cutely and he just missed seeing that sight whenever you both had breaks and he would watch you eat cheerfully but....you were so down, that spirt was gone.

He was approaching you, and you then noticed that and felt your stomach sink, ‘Is he coming to me? Wait...he is, it’s only me here!’ You thought in your mind, panicking and not knowing what to do.

”Good evening.” He uttered, but you noticed there was some nervousness in that tone.

You did not look up at him and you left your sandwich that was half eaten on the plate, and got up. You lost your appetite, and you proceed to leave the mass hall, but you stopped in your steps when you heard Levi yell out. “No...d-don’t go. Please just stay for a bit.” The way he said it, was under such pain and he it sounded as if he was begging you. He really struggled doing this, but he would do it regardless if it was just to speak to you again for a bit.

He caught up to you, and took your wrist while his thumb was caressing your skin. You were still looking down, not wanting to see his face because you knew if you did now, you would tear up again.

“Can we talk please?” He said really quietly, and if the mass hall was not empty you wouldn't be able to grasp what he had said. Levi was clearly tensed and not sure if what he was doing is right, he never done this before, apologizing and talking about his feelings. But he would only, and only do this for the person he loved. Y/N.

“What do you want?” it came out more coldly then you expected and that made him hesitate. He remembered the image of your expression and you sobbing that day and it is still graved in his mind. He cant seem to get it out his head and he wanted to hear your forgiveness so it could go away.

“I fucked up, I know. But fuck, I...miss you.” He finally said, in a nervous and stuttering tone. He now moved his hand from your wrist to your soft and cold hands, and you could feel his warmth, warming your hand.

He brought up his other free hand and placed his palm on his forehead. Clearly this was hard for him and he felt such a jerk and an idiot cause all his words is now gone and he wasn’t sure how to say how apologetic he was and how you meant the world to him really.

But he know thought, How could he do this to someone who regularly checked on him, cared for him and also actually saw him as a normal person unlike the other scouts who thought he was heartless and just labeled as ‘strongest solider’. Y/N was the only who truly cared for his wellbeing and he admired that a lot. “Hey....I’m sorry. Everything I said wasn’t right. T-To be honest it was your bravery that made me fall for you...and care a lot more about you. So, please tell me What should I do to make it up for you?”

This caused you to finally look up to him and staring at his grey eyes, and after such a long time you were able to see his face clearly and close up which never fails to make your heart skip a beat. You stared at him for quite awhile, kind of surprised to what he said and the fact he was holding your hand meant a lot. But Levi took this as you still not wanting to talk to him, he wanted to say more and better things but he was quite bad formulating any more cause it him nervous and afraid to say something else to upset you further. He really did care about your feelings. “I won’t go....till I hear your answer. I waited long enough.”

You spoke, and after a long time hearing your voice this nearly made him tear up and that was because you were a big part of his life. “I can’t stay mad at you forever, so I forgive you. But, you hurted me and I cant forget that easily. But for now, Just....hold me.” You went near him and now placed both of your hands on his chest. He did not waste any second and pulled you in for a hug. It was probably his first time hugging you like this and he never knew it would make him have this fuzzy and sweet feeling like this. Of course, he would hold on to your waist, arm and shoulders sometimes during battle or when you needed some support to get up and move. But this was different, and he questioned himself how he never considered that.

Y/N and Levi both finally made up with each other, and he was really grateful for that and even the fact you forgave someone like Levi, he felt really lucky.

Of course, it will take some time for you to accept his apology, but he wont give up just yet and he really makes an effort everyday, you guys took it slow and he is more than willing to wait for you ♥

As, regret and remorse can lead a person to feel sorrow, this can cause a sense of sorrow for hurting someone such as Levi’s crush, and even though it was bad, this lead to him finally confessing and saying his true apology if it weren’t for this. Time is a healing process after all.

Once you finally sat down with Levi and talked back (after the countless times he tried to initiate a conversation or start something such as cleaning together but never got much a reaction from you) and had a small conversation with him asking how was his day. This melted his heart and he actually felt really happy inside that you finally started to speak to him. He missed your company, your sweet voice, and....that smile.

You surprised him further when you gave him tea (because he gave you so many things to somehow make you smile) and his eyes lit up, Levi never felt so happy in the last few weeks. Then he knew, that you. y/n, was his light and source of happiness. He drank the tea slowly cherishing it.

wow okay this was kind of emotional then I excepted it to be, but I honestly see a scenario like this happening where levi struggles and tries his best to own up his mistake and apologize and he would only be like this if it was to his crush and someone he loved cause this man gets nervous <3 so please y/n, give him some more hugs, he might not seem to ask for any but he is deeply inside craving for it. It’s his best comfort as it is coming from you! Anyways, please leave a like or a reblog if you enjoyed this and I hope you liked this anon 💖

[sarcasmandships]

honey and glass ~ spencer reid

i am in love with spencer reid but he only has eyes for jennifer jareau

spencer reid x reader angst + hurt/comfort (sorta, it’s all in first person but with no names/no specific descrptions)

song fic inspired by ‘honey and glass’ by peyton cardoza

word count: 4.8k

disclaimer: i do not ship jeid or think they had any chemistry but it’s a good opportunity for angst x

you know those kinds of girls who look like they're made of honey and glass like sticky sweet ash

it’s a summers night in california and i’m on the beach at sunset.

the sand is rough under my toes and a warm, gentle breeze blows a strand of my hair across my face; he lifts his hand to brush it away. tucking it behind my ear he stares down at me and the sun hits his face at a perfect angle, illuminating his hazel eyes like pools of honey. he leans in and i-

“ow!” i yelp, as morgan launches the volleyball at my head, “what was that for?”  

“come and play,” he laughs, waving me over to where he stands with emily and hotch.

i shake my head, “no, i don’t feel like it,” i mumble, massaging my left temple where the ball bounced off my skull.

morgan rolls his eyes and jogs past where i’m sitting to collect the ball, “what’s up with you then?” he teases.

i shrug, “nothing. I’m just tired,” i say feigning an unconvincing yawn, “ask one of them to play.”  

i motion with my head towards spencer and jj, they’re down by the edge of the waves and she throws her head back and laughs at something he says. her sheets of blonde hair ripple through the wind and he looks at her in pure awe and amazement as she giggles at something he said.

“nah, don’t wanna interrupt the kid when he’s trying to make a move,” morgan shrugs, “come play with us, we need an extra person.”

an extra person.

right.

because what else am i but another body to fill the space?

“i don’t want to,” i say, forcing myself to tear my eyes away from jj and spencer as i stand up, “hotch said the jet is leaving first thing tomorrow, i’m gonna head back to the hotel and get some sleep.”

morgan says something, but i don’t register it as i allow myself one last glance at spencer and jj. she is trying to convince him to paddle in the waves with her, he shakes his head but when she takes his hand in hers i can tell he’s melting inside as he follows her into the water.

and i just know that he’d follow her so far out to sea that his head was underwater as long as she kept their hands intertwined.

i turn away from morgan so he doesn’t see the tears burning in my eyes.

and you can't get the taste off your tongue burnt sugar and a little bit of rum

we’re in a dimly lit bar somewhere.

hotch left hours ago, he wanted to take advantage of one of the rare nights he would be there to read jack a bedtime story.

rossi is at a table in the corner, sitting with a woman who has not-so-subtly draped her leg over him.

derek is out of my line of sight and i’m thankful for that.

emily, garcia, and jj are dancing.

i sit at the table with spencer, he’s drunk.

more tipsy than drunk i think, but he so rarely drinks anything that the sight of him swaying along to the music was an anomaly. i can’t ignore the fact that his eyes are firmly fixed on jj as she dances, and i grip my wine glass so tightly i half expect it to shatter in my hand.

he leans across to me and my heart skips a beat as i inhale the alcohol on his breath, “i’m in love with her, y’know,” he slurs.

“i know, spencer,” i smile sadly and down the rest of my wine.

he doesn’t even notice when i grab my coat from behind him and shuffle towards the door.

and she dances in the rain with her clothes on drenched to the bone never knows when she's all gone, she's the life of the party

spencer and i are watching the big bang theory.

neither of us particularly like it, but there aren’t many channels on our hotel room tv and spencer enjoys the physics references at least. i watch his face light up as a character mentions something about quantum theory that i cant understand, and spencer launches into a rant about the universe and the stars.

i don’t have the knowledge to keep up with him or the heart to tell him to stop so i sit and listen, admiring the way his eyes sparkle and his hands gesticulate when no one interrupts him with a deprecating comment.

we sit there like that for the rest of the night, in our respective twin beds with him telling me the secrets of the universe and me wondering how on earth i will ever get over him.

and deep down I know that nobody flinches when she takes off her clothes

“anything you like?” emily asks me through the dressing room curtain.

“i’m not sure…” i mumble in response, biting down on my lip as i stare at myself in the mirror, “i-i don’t think this is my colour.”

the dress looked so beautiful on the hanger, but now that it’s on my body the fabric bunches up in all the wrong places and i can’t recall a time that i’ve looked worse.

the lights are just washing you out, i tell myself.

you’re having a bad hair day, it would look better with your hair down, i tell myself.

you just need some lipstick, i tell myself.

but when jj announces she has found the perfect dress and i stick my head out of the curtain to see her, i am slapped in the face with the realisation that it isn’t the lighting or my lack of makeup it’s just me.

because jj looks beautiful as always, her dress hugs her waist and the skirt fans out around her as emily demands she gives us a spin. she isn’t wearing makeup, her hair is in a ponytail too, the lights don’t wash her out because she is radiant and flawless, and the lights aren’t the problem.

i am.

i cry in my car as i drive home from the mall, and when i get home i tear everything out of my fridge and fling it into the trashcan. i vow to go to the store and stock up on salad and chicken.

i go to the store but i don’t buy salad.

and I wonder what it's like to be one of those girls to sit in the sun and look at the world and never think, "wow, am i enough?" ‘cause life is easy when you know that you're the main character

i’m in hotch’s office as he grills me about a stupid mistake i made in the field. i can hardly focus on his words as i shrink back in the chair, counting all the reasons that i don’t deserve to be in this job.

i’m not as smart or fast or strong as the others. i don’t have an eidetic memory or hacker skills and i can’t even maintain myself as a solid average agent because i keep fucking up.

“i’m not going to write you up,” he says, and my heart soars a little in my chest, “but i need you to understand that if you do something like that again i won’t have any choice, you were lucky no one got hurt today.”

i nod silently and blink back the tears that threaten to spill over.

“go home, get some rest,” he says and i don’t hang around for a second longer, darting out of his office i crash headfirst into a tall frame.

“wow, slow down,” he chuckles, resting a hand on my shoulder to steady me.

“spencer,” i gasp, looking up at his sympathetic smile, “what are you still doing here? we landed hours ago….”

he shrugs, “i waited for you.”

my heart skips a beat.

“you didn’t have to do that.”

he shakes his head, “you’re my best friend, i wanted to. plus i thought you might need someone after being in there with hotch.”

i swallow and offer him a slightly forced smile.

best friend.

“thanks, spence, that means a lot.”

he looks at me quizzically.

“what’s wrong?”

“nothing, just only jj calls me spence…anyways” he holds out his arm for me, “shall we go?”

i have to restrain myself from seizing his arm, and settle for tentatively wrapping my own around it, “thanks spencer…you’re such a good friend.”

he smiles down at me and its almost enough to melt away the icy feeling in my heart as i call him a friend. the coldness in my chest in my chest is a feeling i’ve grown accustomed to but when i’m with him everything is warm and bright again.

he feels like yellow.

and i feel like maybe i am enough.

and I'm sitting here thinking this is not fair

i feel like blue.

i’m alone in my apartment flicking through tv channels, trying to find something that isn’t a medical or crime drama. because after my day at work i can’t look at any more blood or dead bodies, even if its as fake as the pep in my voice when jj calls to ask if i’m okay.

“hotch grilled you pretty bad, huh? you sure you’re okay?”

“yeah, spence – spencer – waited for me and we went to get milkshakes after.”

“aww that’s so nice, you know i think he has a soft spot for you,” she teases.

something acidic bubbles in my throat, but i can’t tell her that i know she’s wrong because he spent half the night telling me how much he loves her. i have to gather the strength to respond without the venom in my heart poisoning my voice.

“oh, i don’t think so,” i laugh, “anyways, i should go – my movie is about to start.”

jj tells me to have a good night before she hangs up, and i switch off the tv. at this time there’s noting but romcoms and i don’t want to sit through hours of pining when its on replay every day at the office.

i watch my own reflection in the blank tv screen as sobs wrack my body.

but her smile makes it hard to be mad it's not her fault that I'm so fucking sad

jj holds me in her arms as i cry into her chest, “it’s okay, you’re gonna be okay,” she coos, rubbing soft circles on my back.

i sniffle against her and i just know that my eyes are puffy and red but i can’t switch off the floods of tears that fall from them.

“do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” she asks.

i shake my head against her because how could i tell her?

how could I tell her that the man i love is in love with her?

and that i want to resent her for it but i can’t because she’s such a good fucking friend that she’s sitting here with me, unknowingly wiping the tears that i can’t stop shedding because i can’t be her.

she gives me one of those heart warming smiles that could bring peace to a dying man, and in that moment i am reminded again of why he loves her. there are worse people to love, i suppose. if spencer is going to cut out his heart and give it to someone it might as well be someone like her.

but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

and i hate myself for the part of me that hates her. she’s done nothing wrong. it’s not her fault that that spencer loves her, and its not her fault that she doesn’t realise.

so I'll sit here and look at these girls in the sun dancing in the rain and just having their fun

i hate alaska.

my teeth chatter as we trudge through the snow filled field, and i pull the cuffs of my coat over my glove cladded hands. i hate the cold. i hate alaska. i hate the serial killer who dragged us all out here. i hate the impending snowstorm that was keeping the jet grounded for another night.

“should we even be out here?” i groan, “i mean if it’s not safe for the plane, then surely its not safe for us.”

“we aren’t 50,000 feet up in the sky though,” morgan says and i roll my eyes at him.

“it’s cold enough to make me feel like we are,” i huff.

spencer nods sympathetically at me, “i don’t like the cold either, not much snow in vegas.”

“i think we should have two behavioural analysis units,” i begin, “one to catch serial killers in cold climates, and the other in hot ones.”

he laughs, “i’d like that, but i think it’d just be us and garcia on the hot team.”

“we’d get by.”

he’s grinning at me, his messy brown curls are squashed down under his bobble hat but a few of them still manage to peak out. he’s wearing a multicoloured striped scarf and mismatched gloves.

a snowflake lands on his eyelash and i reach out to brush it off.

“thanks.”

“anytime.”

morgan launches a snowball at us, and it hits me in the back of the head, “hey! what is it with you and throwing things?” i snap.

morgan roars with laughter.

“not funny derek!”

he resumes his snowball fight with emily and jj and i draw my arms across my chest. i watch as they prance about in the snow, falling to avoid the snowballs launched by the others and laughing when they get hit. the sun is just starting to set, and it’s rays catch jj’s hair at the perfect angle, bouncing off the golden blonde strands as she dances around morgan. her and emily have joined forces to pelt him with snowballs.

i look up at spencer to see him starting at her in awe. his nose and cheeks are flushed from the cold, and the sun reflects against his own face, illuminating his eyes. they’re beautiful. like honey and glass.

“guys! come join us!” jj calls.

i shake my head, “there’s not enough money in the world.”

she pouts at me, “spence, please,” she says sweetly and before i know it he’s by her side and scooping up snow.

i watch from the side-lines.

spencer roars with laughter when emily hits morgan square in the face with a snowball, he wraps an arm around jj as she nearly collapses from laughter, something twinges in my stomach.

but he looks so happy, and that melts my glacier heart slightly.

maybe alaska wasn’t so bad after all.

and maybe one day, i can forget the past and be one of those girls of honey and glass

“nice to meet you, agent,” agent fitz says, holding out his hand, “we’ve heard good things about you up in the new york office.”

“really?” i say, shaking his hand and i can’t fight the smile that creeps across my face.

“really. give me a call if you ever fancy a change of scenery.”

“i’ll keep that in mind, agent fitz,” i give him a nod and a smile as he walks away.

new york was cold in the winter, but it didn’t seem like the worst place in the world.

but I think that it's hard for people to see that I love all these girls, and honestly it doesn't matter what you look like or how much you weigh

i wondered once how i’d ever get over my love for spencer reid, and now as he sits and sobs on my couch i realise that i don’t want to. it hurts me to love him, and something stabs my heart every time i catch him staring at her, but he deserves someone to love him like he loves her.

“i guess i’m just starting to realise that she’ll never love me back, and i don’t know why or what’s wrong with me,” he says and looks up at me, his eyes filled with tears and his face blotchy and red.

“there’s nothing wrong with you,” i say, wrapping an arm around him and wiping his tears, “sometimes the people you love just don’t love you back, but that’s not a reflection of you or your self-worth,” i reiterate to him the mantra i say in my mirror every morning.

he whimpers and my heart breaks for him.

“it doesn’t feel that way, it feels like i’m dying inside every time she talks about him or tells me about their dates, and i try to be a good friend but-”

his voice cracks and another sob escapes his chest and i tighten my grip around him; heartbreak doesn’t seem to get easier with age, because here we are, two fbi agents in our late twenties crying over our crushes like we are in junior high.

because before i know it the tears are flowing down my face faster than his and when he breaks away from our embrace to ask me why i’m crying, i can’t tell him it’s because i am feeling everything he is.

“i just don’t like seeing you like this,” is all i can muster up.

it's just that these girls know they're okay there's a beauty in knowing your place in the world in loving yourself and knowing your worth

“hey!” spencer greets me as he steps into the elevator with me.

“hi,” i mumble back, taking another sip of coffee from my travel cup.

we’ve been called in on a case, but i’ve barely had any sleep and i’m struggling to keep my eyes open.

“you look tired, are you okay?”

you look tired.

so the bags under my eyes were obvious then.

“yeah,” i say, swallowing the lump in my throat, “just a late night, y’know.”

“oh…oh! is that your way of saying your date went well?” he says with a coy grin.

“what?”

oh! something clicks in my brain and i understand what he means.

“no! not like that no…actually it didn’t go well at all, he turned out to be a total misogynistic creep,” i say with a bitter laugh.

“oh, i’m sorry….”

i shrug and take another swig of coffee, “it’s okay, you didn’t know. to be honest i’ll probably end up calling him again anyways.”

spencer stares at me, confused, “why would you do that?”

“well, i don’t exactly have guys falling over themselves for me, do i?”

spencer frowns and i can see his brain working overtime behind his eyes, “so you’re just going to settle for less than you deserve?”

“i don’t have many other options do i?”

he reaches out an arm to place a comforting hand on my shoulder, “don’t worry, you’ll find the right guy for you soon. it’s only a matter of time, you’re worth more than a misogynistic creep,” he squeezes my shoulder and before i know it we’ve already reached our floor and he’s gone.

you’ll meet the right guy for you soon.

what if i already have?

you don't have to be perfect or never get sad that's not what it means to be honey and glass

it’s late and i sit at my desk, sorting through piles of paperwork.

my eyes blur as i enter the gruesome details of our latest case, from fatigue or tears i can’t tell. i think emily and hotch are still hanging around the office somewhere, but the others had gone to dinner as soon as we landed, promising that they would do their paperwork tomorrow.

i knew i would have no appetite sitting across a table from spencer and jj so i had sat silently in the back of the suv as hotch drove us back to the office.

a singular tear rolls down my cheek and splatters on my page, smudging the not-quite-dry-yet ink. i let out a shaky breath and wipe my eyes, i don’t know why i’m crying really.

no one had necessarily done anything wrong. only when we were in the field and the unsub had detonated the bomb, spencer chose to push jj out of the way instead of me. i was lucky that one of the s.w.a.t agents had grabbed my arm in time and pulled me back to safety.

it had been hours and my ears were still ringing from the explosion.

maybe spencer thought he was closer to jj, that he had a better chance of saving her, we are trained to make difficult choices based on survival odds, i told myself.

only spencer hadn’t been closer to jj, and she was surrounded by three s.w.a.t agents whilst i only had one next to me. but no one had really done anything wrong, no one died, no one even broke a bone. and it pains me to admit to myself but had i been in spencer’s position and had to chose between saving him or morgan, i know that would pull spencer out of the way every single time.

i jump as emily creeps up behind me, “hey, you okay?”

i don’t even try and disguise my puffy, red eyes or tear tracks as i look up at her, “no. but i think that’s okay.”

and everyone has their highs and their lows the nights you spend crying, believe me, I know

it’s roslyn’s birthday.

i don’t think anyone else in the team knows because they keep exchanging looks whenever jj snaps at one of them and i can see the annoyance in their eyes.

when jj barks at spencer and snaps her pencil within the space of five minutes i drag her into a storage closet and wrap my arms around her.

“shhh,” i say soothingly, “it’s okay, you’re gonna be okay.”

jj shakes her head, “i don’t think so, i thought this day would get easier with time but it’s just getting worse,” she sniffles.

i stroke her hair, “i know, i know its horrible and you deserve to cry as much as you want to. but you are so strong, and i know you can get through this-”

“i’m not,” jj shakes her head, “i’m not strong or brave or anything that you all think i am, i’m not like you I-”

“like me?” i question.

“you always hold yourself together, whenever there’s a case with a kid i’m falling to pieces but you keep it together. i mean i’m the one crying in a storage closet….”

i stare at her in disbelief, because jj is the strongest woman i know and i don’t understand how she can’t see that.

“i don’t have a sister who killed herself jj,” i say slowly, “you have survived 100% of the bad things that have happened to you because you’re a fighter, that makes you strong.”

she shakes her head and clings to me, “but i’ve lost pieces of myself, i’m not the same person i could’ve been if life had been kinder to me and that makes me sad. my sister is dead and that makes me sad, everyone thinks i’m this strong and perfect person and that makes me feel guilty because i can’t be that person.”

in a turn of events, she is crying into my chest, her hair is greasy, and her mascara runs and i realise that my best friend was never truly on the pedestal i placed her on. and i realise i am part of the problem, treating jj like she is the be all and all of perfection and unattainablity when i should just be treating her like a friend.

spencer loves her and that kills me but it’s not what’s important right now. i’ve spent too long inside my own head, struggling to view her as my best friend or the other woman but now i see that she is someone that needs my help.

i know what it’s like to cry myself to sleep so i don’t want jj to go through something like that alone. so i vow there and then, to push my own feelings aside and be whatever she needs me to be.

i don't want to be these girls for beauty or fame but for the confidence they have in their own damn name

“smile!” garcia says as she appears with a camera.

emily, jj, and morgan turn to face her and pose but i duck out of the frame. garcia pouts and morgan grabs onto my forearm to pull me back into shot. i wish that i had the self-confidence to let him, to fall in next to him and make a silly pose at the camera and not worry if my hair was sitting nicely or if i was breathing in enough.

“come on! i need pictures for my scrapbook and you’ve been dodging me all night!” she whines.

i stare down at my feet, “garcia i’m not photoshoot ready like these guys,” i say, trying to make my voice light and floaty but it just sounds like im choking back tears.

“come on, just one picture,” jj says kindly, waving for me to come and stand next to her.

i shake my head again and wring my hands. the last thing i need is another photograph of jj and i to compare myself to every time i’m feeling extra low and self-destructive.

i try and remember the vow i made, to be there for my friend despite my own feelings. but she isn’t sad anymore, she’s happy and smiling and drinking wine, me squeezing in between her and emily for a stupid photograph isn’t going to make or break her.

it’s just a stupid photograph.

“no thanks,” i choke, “i’m going to get another drink,” i scurry away to the kitchen before anyone can object.

i shut the door quickly behind me and press my back up against it, taking a deep breath. i can’t quite believe i was successful in escaping garcia again.

“are you avoid garcia and her camera too?”

“spencer!” i laugh shrilly, “i didn’t even see you there.”

“yeah, i’ve been hiding in here for a half hour,” he smiles sadly, “i hate having my picture taken, especially next to morgan. he makes me look even lankier if possible.”

i frown, spencer had no reason to feel insecure.

“why don’t we get garcia to take a picture of just us two?” i suggest nervously, “you won’t have any reason to feel insecure next to me….”

he looks at me quizzically, “what do you mean?”

i wring my hands again, “just that you’ll automatically look even better if i’m next to you…cos’ i’m…well y’know,” i say awkwardly motioning to my face and body.

he cocks his head to the side, “are you trying to tell me you think you’re ugly, so i’ll look better by comparison?”

i shrug.

“well, i think you look beautiful.”

so I'll sit here and look at these girls in the sun dancing in the rain and just having their fun

we’re on the plane journey home.

spencer and jj sit next to each other, their arms pressed together as they share the arm rest. spencer is reading a book; his eyes scan down the pages at lightening speed and i know he’ll be finished soon.

i am on the opposite side of the plane, i sit by myself, i like the space.

i keep my eye on them throughout the flight; just as i predicted, it doesn’t take long for spencer to finish his book and he places it down on the table in front of him. jj picks it up and teases him for the long-winded title, i don’t catch what she says, something about astrophysics.

he starts to ramble, and she interrupts him with another teasing remark, he flushes when she gently nudges his chest. i turn my head to stare out of the window, biting my lip.

they aren’t even doing anything, jj is just being friendly. and i still can’t handle it. i lie my head back against the headrest as i gaze out of the window, admiring the new york skyline as it fades into the distance.

a nervous chuckle from spencer snaps me out of my trance, and i look back over to see him and jj giggling secretively as she whispers something into his ear.

 “where are you going?” emily grumbles, she’s half asleep with her legs splayed out across two chairs when i accidently bump her foot.

 “bathroom,” i say quietly with a forced smile as i shuffle past jj and spencer, my heart seizing in my chest as she teases him about how long his hair is getting, brushing her hand through the curls.

i’m already silently sobbing in the bathroom so i miss the pitiful look that emily and morgan exchange.

and I know it doesn't make sense to forget the past but I promise, one day, you'll be honey and glass

“agent fitz?” i say, clutching my phone tight in my hand.

“ahh, i’ve been wondering when i’d be hearing from you.”

i laugh quietly, “yes, well i’ve been thinking about what you said, and i think i could do with that change of scenery now.”

i wrote this in a couple hours and didnt proof read so apologies for an errors :))

part 2

[honey-makki]

brainrot kinktober- 10/20

sleep over

Virginity Loss: Yamaguchi Tadashi x Fem!Reader

Warnings: virginity loss, penetrative sex

word count 1.2k

Your knock was heavy-handed. A simple show of nerves and excitement. Yamaguchi opens the door quickly like he was standing there, waiting for you to arrive. You had spent the night at his house before, but never when his parents were gone. The predetermined agreement of taking your relationship a step further hangs over your head as he pulls you in for a hug. 

He welcomes you into the familiar house before taking you upstairs where he has stuff for a movie already laid out. You slide on the oversized hoodie he left out for you, relishing in his warmth and scent.

Cuddling up together on the bed to continuing the Harry Potter marathon you started a few weeks ago.  You both relax into each other, enjoying the other’s presence. Yamaguchi’s hand fidgets more than normal, running up and down your arm, playing with your hair, tapping meaningless beats into your back.

You look up at him with a smile just to be met with one of his own. Cupping his face, you lean up and give him a kiss. One that he deepens. It doesn’t take long before Yamaguchi is hovering above you as he kisses into you. The kisses are a little sloppy, full of tingling excitement as your tongues exploring each other’s mouths. His hands start clumsily roaming across your body and leads you to take a brief break to rid yourself of your tops. 

His hands run across the newly exposed soft skin, yours exploring the lean muscles of his chest and eventually up to his back. His hips rock gently into yours as you tug on his hair, trying to pull him deeper into you. A gasp escapes your lips at the pressure against you. He mimics the noise when he repeats his action with a little more force. 

His forehead meets yours as he continues grinding into you, whispering sweet confessions of love between hot breaths. It isn’t until you start squirming under him, wanting more stimulation than you were currently given did he stop. 

“Alright, sweetheart, let me help you out.” 

“Yes, Tadashi, please touch me.”

As he leaves scattered kisses down your neck, you help him shuffle off your shorts and underwear. He runs his fingers lightly up your cunt, nervous and unsure but ready. “Shit ,love, you’re wet.” He knew that you would be and had faintly felt it before, but he never imagined just how wet and just how warm you would be.

He slowly presses one finger into you, kissing your chest as you groan at the stretch. His pace is slow, slower than you want, than you need. 

“baby, please, can you go faster, or, fuck, add another finger.” He complies and moves back up to pull you into a deep kiss. The second finger slides in easily, with how slick your walls are, the burn was slight but fades quickly into a warm heat building in your stomach. His fingers are stretching you open, but you want to be full.

Opening your scrunched eyes you see your boyfriend grinding into the bed, and staring at the way your cunt takes his fingers with half-lidded eyes and a bitten lip. Your heart swells with love and anticipation, seeing your boyfriend so disheveled and focused makes you want him more than you ever could have imagined, and when you go to voice it, all that leaves your mouth is a moan of his name.

“tadaaashi, please fuck me, pleasepleaseplease” The absence of his fingers make you whine but he undresses and grabs a condom from his nightstand. Your breathing doesn’t have a chance to slow down because of the slight nerves of losing your virginity. You know you want this but that doesn’t make it any less scary.

Yamaguchi hovers above you and lines his covered cock up at your entrance. “You sure you are ready, love? We don’t have to do this.” You nod and pull him in for a kiss as he starts to slowly slide in. The stretch burns, flickers of pain flowing through your body at the impossibly wide stretch. Tears pricking your eyes as he continues to give you soft kisses and declarations of love and praise.

“You are doing so good baby. You feel so nice around my cock. Let me know when you are ready for me to move, yeah?” His voice is raspy and strained as he talks you through it. He is struggling to not just fuck into you and cum but he doesn’t want to hurt you. Eventually, he bottoms out and you just take a beat to adjust with his forehead pressed into yours as he rubs his hand on your cheek, soothing the tear trails.

“You look so beautiful, y/n.” 

You nod that he can move and grip his forearms to ground yourself, you can feel his cock dragging over every single inch of your walls. He’s slow, neither of you able to move fast since you are overwhelmed at the feeling ov him in your tight cunt. The burning stretch hasn’t subsided fully but it is overpowered with love and unadulterated lust. 

Every single shallow thrust into your cunt leaves you gasping and clenching around him. You fail to make any words, your mouth solely being used to breathe heavily as your tongue lolls out of your mouth. Yamaguchi lets out a lewd grown at the erotic sight of you moving to grab your own chest and paly with you nipple. Each tug and twist makes you clench around him and arch your back chasing your orgasm that’s been building in your stomach since he first kissed you.

“Fa-faster, I’m close, Tadashi.” his name devolves into a moan as he picks up the speed. His eyes are clenched shut with beads of sweat forming on his forehead. You cant take your eyes off your beautiful boyfriend, with his rippling muscles and gentle reliable demeanor becoming more inconsistent. 

“Shit, babe, I ca-can’t, you’re just so tight and feel so good, fuuck.”

The hand on your chest leaves your pebbled nipples to rub your clit, slicking your fingers up with the mess that is your pussy before touching yourself. The first circle of your fingers has you clamping down on him as you get closer and closer and closer.

A litany of curses and moans of his name fall out of your mouth to the beat of his hips, until he stops. A loud groan of your name falls out of his mouth while he releases into the condom. His moan almost has you there, and just a few more circles of your fingers have you creaming on his still hard cock. He winces in a slight pain form over stimulation as your pussy milks him for all he’s worth, but is quick to give you a kiss on the forehead.

While you are catching your breath, he gently pulls out of you and showers your face in soft kisses, each on interspersed with a soft ‘i love you’. When you are cognizant enough to pull him into a kiss he asks you if you are ok or if you hurt him, ever concerned about your wellbeing.

You laugh at his endearing concern, but reassure him that you just had a fantastic orgasm and don’t regret anything that happened. He blushes at your laugh, but smiles at your candidness. He picks you up bridal style despite your squeal and begs to be put down. “Shh, we’re just gonna shower and clean up. Stop squirming or I’ll drop you!” Your laughter echos into the tiled bathroom until its drowned out by the pitter patter of the shower. 

 Taglist (if your url is bolded, check ur privacy settings!): @ukaic​ @definitelythotful @shrimpypenis @nonexistent-social-life @crushingonsuga @revolutionary-chocolate-cake @right-shoe-jpg @sugawara-sweetheart @nxynxy @aoba-baby @arianna20 @scorpiosanssexy @ceo-of-daichi @dinosaurtsukki @turquoiselace @nonamemaximum @omibaby @chokemelevi @bokuakadaily @haikyuuangst @cutie-aesthetic-palace @whet-ones-write @superdepressedhoe @iwachanswh0re @crushzone @kiseox @mysticalroadnightempath @toobsessedsstuff @trouvelle @kodzu-ken @elianetsantana @sonyaroses-blog @tsukkisbitch @mrs-kuroojinguji @tendousfingers 

[alreadyblondenow]

I couldn’t wait a little longer

Johnny Suh x reader // SMUT, SMUT, fluff, angst

Themes: idol! au, strangers to lovers, 

Word count: 4k

Summary: You two were never together longer than two days, but the feelings, oh the feelings that you have for each other is clear as the day. It was a never-ending try of making the relationship official. Johnny tried, you tried but it never happens. 

Warnings: smut on smut on smut. mentions of other idols, swearing,  unprotected sex, rough sex, sad ending, mentions of alcohol, getting drunk and ended up to a stranger’s hotel room, dont do that in real life please, size kink?, blowjob, fingering, mentions of being rushed to the hospital, 

A/N: I did this in one sitting.Inspired by the recent dream that I had (Johnny and Seulgi are dating) and they look fucking cute cuddling in bed. This is only a made up story and theres no way in hell that this is true. Again, if something about the warning doesn’t sit well on you, click away. This will be the last something something before I focus on writing for halloween. hihi. Smut after the cut!

Short breaths in between kissing Johnny’s soft lips, feeling every slow thrust he gives, the man above you is careful not to put his entire weight on you. His hands are traveling around your body, feeling your soft skin, and caressing your face touching your lips gently. You took a peek and looked at his wrists to check if he’s wearing his expensive Rolex watch. 

If he removed it, he’s going to stay the night. If he wears it during sex, he will leave right after it. 

Tonight, he removed it and you couldn’t be happier. You kissed him more, deeper than ever, and reaching for his hand to intertwine it with yours. “I’m happy you’re here” you whisper, feeling yourself more on edge ready to hit your orgasm any second. He smiled and told you, “Me too. You make my life peaceful” then he kissed your lips, down to your neck and the valley of your boobs, sucking and licking your hard nipples. After a few more deep thrusts, he released inside you savoring an amazing orgasm while kissing you softly. 

You feel Johnny’s hot breath, you see his brows furrow, eyes closed and lips parted as he continues to thrust in you for your release. “Oh, Johnny- ohhhh” you let out a quiet moan, so quiet that it’s only just for the two of you. 

The view of Johnny’s sweaty face with lidded eyes that looked at you deeply is something that will make your heart beat fast. He smiled sweetly to you, still not moving from the sex position, still not removing his cock from inside you. “Let me admire you for a second, “ he said with a smile. 

“Hmm. I’ll do the same” you replied softly, not ruining the comfortable silence of the room. “I see you’re going to stay the night?” you added. 

He chuckles and caressed your face softly which you catch it with your hand and kiss it, “yeah, I’ll stay. I’m sorry if I’m like this, I’m sorry I can’t come to you every night” 

“Hey, don’t say that. Every time we meet again, it's becoming sweeter and sweeter than before. Can’t blame what you love doing” it’s hard to convince Johnny’s mind that you’re perfectly fine but you tried anyway. 

“How about my love for you. I seriously want to do this Y/n, you’ve seen me try. And you’re right, every time we meet again I fall for you more and it’s getting harder to leave this place” he kissed both of your hand pecks after peck until he reaches your lips, your chest, your boobs, tickling you on your sides and making you laugh. 

“You know I love you, right? And I'm so in love with you” he did it again, spreading kisses on your bodies. 

“And I love you too” you answered breathlessly. You talked some more but not about dwelling on how your relationship could have been or about what-ifs. He talked about his days telling you every detail and you listen to him attentively, he asks about you and you tell him about work, your plans, and everything you could think of telling him. Mostly he wants to hear you talk more than he wants to talk because he’s just that in love with you, he wanted to know every part of your being. 

You two were never together longer than two days, but the feelings, oh the feelings that you have for each other is clear as the day. It was a never-ending try of making the relationship official. Johnny tried, you tried but it never happens. 

Nine months ago

It was pretty quiet at the hotel and you assume everyone is sleeping already in their rooms. You removed your three-inch heels the moment you got in the elevator, too drunk to press something, too drunk to remember your hotel room. “Can you remember the room number?” You chuckle and came closer to him, using your toes to reach his pink lips. You kissed him before the elevator dings and opens on the 27th floor. 

Too drunk to even walk straight, Johnny grabbed your shoulder and guided your way. “I want to sleep already” you whine as you follow Johnny, waiting for him to open the door. “Yes, be quiet people are sleeping” he tried to hush you as he walks you in the hotel room and gently place you in bed. 

He let out a big sigh wondering what to do with you. He’s never taken care of someone really drunk before. “My head hurts!” You shouted, making Johnny panic and look for a glass of water. For a drunk person, you were pretty demanding, loud and talkative. “Okay, tiger. What else do you want?” You make him follow everything you asked him to do and he was the cute fool who follows through.

“Kiss me and I will shut up” you waited for the kiss, he was hesitating but he gave in. Kissing you softly like you’re not drunk, his lips are soft and cold. “Now please, rest” he gave you another peck, making you shut up completely. 

As you wait in the cold bed with the fluffiest pillows under your head, you ask for Johnny to come join you. “Let me change you in something comfortable “ you hear him gently asks permission to unzip your dress, you nod in approval telling him to unclasp your bra too. He was quiet the whole time he was taking your clothes off, secretly admiring your soft skin, stopping himself from licking your hard nipples, and imagining his hands all over your body. Wanting to do all of those, he cant because you’re too drunk and he cant take that risk. 

The moment you’re exposed with only your laced panties on, he let out a big sigh again before putting his hoodie on you. “Thank you” you gave him a peck on the lips before he made his way to the bathroom and change. 

Johnny lay down beside you, eyes closed and rubbing his forehead. You on the other hand, is still drunk and wants attention. You drank the water that he gave you earlier and put much ice that you want in your mouth. Carefully crawling from your side of the bed going to Johnny’s side. Between his legs to be specific. 

“Hey - what are you doing?” Johnny tried to get up but your hand is already taking care of his pajamas and briefs, palming his cock to make him calm. Already turned on and too late to stop you from your plan, he relaxed himself waiting for your next move.

Careful with the ice in your mouth, you suck his cock slowly. Letting the ice make him feel good and hard at the same time. Bobbing your head slowly, playing with ice inside your mouth. You hear Johnny whine and curse over and over again, “fuck! Add more ice” and so you did, making his cock sensitive because of the ice. His lower abdomen goes up and down, feeling the building heat goes up to his body slowly. 

You pressed the ice on the tip of his cock watching it turn red. Red and angry. Johnny’s cock is thick, long, veiny and very hard just how you like it. “Oh please don’t stop” he begs as he furrow his brows looking so handsome and fucked up under the dim light of the hotel room. You reached for his abs, feeling it as you continue to suck him. He shivers from your soft touch, his pretty lips parted letting out sweet moans. 

Pumping his cock and putting a little pressure as you continue to suck it, the ice was long melted but the cold stayed in your tongue. Licking his cock from bottom to the angry tip. You took it all, deep in your throat as he praise you this time making you moan and blush. “Dont do that!” you teased him and did it again.

Hips jolting with a slight force, you let Johnny fuck your mouth hard. He got up and put his hand on the back of your head, taking control, giving no mercy. He came in your mouth, making you swallow his thick and velvety cum. As he pull it out slowly, he kissed your lips tasting a bit of himself and wipe the spit on your face. You smile at him and crawled back to bed encircling your arms around him covering the both of you with the thick duvet. He whispered a sweet “good night” letting you sleep first and taking his time admiring your pretty face. 

Who are you Johnny wonders before closing his eyes. 

Waking up with a bitch headache, you rub the sides of your head as you fight the throbbing pain. You hear someone from the bathroom and you got up in bed with a panic. It’s not that you don’t remember what happened, you remember it clearly. But it still makes you nervous because you don’t know the man and you hate yourself for doing something stupid like that last night. What a burden, you thought. 

He got out of the bathroom with a towel on his waist, looking like a model that just came out of a magazine, body is wet from the shower, abs beautifully sculpted. Johnny crossed his arms, standing in front of you with all his glory with a straight face.

“Who are you?” you avoid looking at his body and you try to hide your exposed legs and look for your dress and shoes.

“I could ask you the same thing, who are you and why did you suck me off last night?”

He told you everything you did last night, starting from the elevator, then telling you in detail how you order him around, “I’m Johnny by the way. And you gave me a great blowjob last night” Not wanting to believe every word he said, but you know he’s telling the truth. 

“Here, some pain killers for your head” he reached for the medicine near the TV and popped one for you, handing it with a glass of water. 

The room was silent the whole time Johnny was folding your clothes, that was sweet of him. He looked like a decent man, who’s nice enough to take care of you so you muster all your courage and swallowed the embarrassment, you thank him for taking care of you. “I'm thankful for everything,” you said as he gave you your clothes, already folded nicely. 

“I know. You thanked me last night” you suddenly remembered the kiss and how you were too bold to ask him to kiss you so you could stop ordering him around.

“I want to repay you, but I don’t know how. I’m Y/n” you offered your hand for him to shake and he gladly accepted with a smile. “I should go now. Thanks again, Johnny” you waved goodbye and walked towards the door. 

Johnny knew that he wanted to ask you out but he’s shy because he’s still half-naked. Fuck, he murmured to himself. 

“Y/n, wait” He stopped you from getting out of the room, slowly pulling you inside again. “Let's start over” he gulps. 

One thing led to another, and he asked you on a private date. You two fell for each other easily like you were soulmates, knowing each other deeply whenever you get to meet. Johnny explained his line of work that you think will not be a problem to this bond that you have. Being an idol did keet him away from you but it didn’t bother you because Johnny loves his work. 

“I’ll try to come to visit more often, I have the boys to cover up for me-“ he pries. 

“No, I don’t want you to get into trouble. Were fine Johnny, visit me when it's safe. The last thing I want to happen is to put your career in danger” what you said is true, it doesn’t matter if you don’t go on dates every week or see him every day, as long as his feelings are real. That’s what matters. 

Johnny fell in love with you. Hard. Given that Johnny is a busy person, he can only see you once or twice a week and it’s not enough for him. He was so obsessed with making it an official relationship where he can bring you out on dates, go to a coffee shop with you, meet the other members. He tried. But the world is so against it. 

Rather than obsessing and making everything perfect, you talked him out of it. Told him that he should stop stressing it out because time will give you the freedom someday, “We just have to stay together, be strong to achieve that, baby. What do you think? Come on, I don’t want to see you stressed out like this every time you visit”

It was worth the try because eventually, Johnny stopped stressing out. The moment that happened, every second became sweeter, every visit became memorable, every kiss became unforgettable. Sex was always on the table but it never happened for the first few months of being together. Sure you two make out like crazy, oral sex here and there, it was like you were both saving sex for a special day or something.  

But when it finally happened it was remarkable and special. The glow stayed in you for a week, and whenever you think about what happened that night it gave you goosebumps and made you automatically smile. Every scene played in your mind like a movie, remembering how it hurt like hell when he finally put his cock inside you because he was so big, how he looked so gorgeous and hot above you while he rolls his hips, and whenever you reach for his arm you feel his veins. It was making love, you were sure of it. 

After the sex, Johnny became even more in love and crazy about you but he can’t show it because his schedules are starting to get busy again. After the sex, Johnny didn’t visit you for almost two weeks. Both of you got sad, but not enough to make you give up. Johnny became so busy that the once or twice visits became an hour visit once a week or twenty minutes making out then the next thing you know he’s saying his goodbyes. 

One night, he came to visit you in such a late hour only to find out that he came to your house straight from practice. He was so tired and it shows but his eyes glinted when he saw you wearing your thin nightgown that’s very short and you looked so irresistible. He pinned you on the wall and attacked you with hungry kisses saying, “I miss you”  

He was in a rush that he turned you around, hugged you from behind and you feel him put his hand inside your panties and run a finger up and down your slit. “This will be quick” he kissed you on the cheek and fingered you from behind. Lips on your neck, hand on your clothed boobs, fingers making your nipples hard and sensitive. 

Johnny’s fingers weren’t slender like yours, his digits can stretch you out good and make you moan his name. You came in no time and you were surprised that you can come so easily like that. You were so weak, your legs felt like jelly but you have a strong man behind you to pick you up and put you to bed. “I love you. I’ll be with you soon okay?” he kissed your forehead and left you even before you could open your mouth and tell him you love him too. 

Moments like that happened more especially when all their promotions became successful. But as soon as he got his time on his hands again, he started to spend more time with you, stay the night, make dinner dates in your house. Everything was perfect. 

Until something unexpected happened and Johnny became mad to himself about it. 

It was supposed to be a night of celebration because the relationship you had was going strong and you’ve been like this for quite a while now. You told him you’ll cook dinner for the two of you, a complete meal from appetizer to dessert and all he has to do is bring a bottle of wine or champagne. Johnny was excited about it that he finished his work early and asked Jaehyun to buy him a bottle of wine for the most awaited date. 

Unexpectedly, he needed to do extra hours at the studio and record until the job is perfect. He texted you that he will be late for a couple of minutes, It was fine for you of course. Even if the minutes turned to hours and you passed out on the couch while waiting for Johnny. It was fine for you, but not for him. 

When he finally arrived, he was in awe and very happy about the table set up. The food looks delicious but it’s already cold, the candles already melted because he was so late. He found you on your couch dressed perfectly and sleeping beautifully. You must be heartbroken he thought, disappointed, he was getting ready for your first argument. But when you wake up, you smiled at him and stretched your body, sat up, and kissed him. 

“Hi. You look handsome with that suit, I’ll heat the food” 

The supposed dinner date and celebration turned out quality time in your kitchen while he helps you heat up the food. You and Johnny had dinner at 2 am, laughing and spending time with each other. But deep inside he can’t forgive himself for making you wait like that. 

A few days after that incident, Johnny considered leaving you. 

And he did. 

You were so hurt but you were not mad. You can never go mad when he’s the one crying while breaking up with you, he looked more hurt and weak during the breakup that it breaks your heart that he’s doing this to himself. “Johnny, it was okay. We still had dinner at that time and it was a great night, right? Waiting is nothing” you tried to talk him out but his decision is final. 

“You deserve someone who comes home every night to you and someone who can't make you wait like that” with that, he kissed you goodbye and you can’t do something about him leaving your place. 

No one was okay about the separation but life goes on. You focused on work and he focused on his career, simple but every day was painful. 

During an IKEA date with Jaehyun, Johnny talked about you and how he’s not handling the sadness well these days. It felt like he lost a big piece of his heart and it’s all his fault. He can’t stop seeing or repeating the scenario where you tried to stop him from breaking up with you and it breaks his heart seeing your sad eyes. 

“Dude you’re lucky you have someone like her she doesn’t demand time or attention she never gets mad-“ Jaehyun argues.  

“That’s my point. I left because I can’t make enough time for her or shower her with my attention. Dude, sometimes I want her to get mad because clearly, I’m the one to blame for not giving her a normal relationship. She doesn’t deserve any of that” he sighs as he pushes the cart, “it hurts me you know, thinking that someone can love her better than I can. But this work of ours…”

“I get you. But think wisely, to be honest, you’re the one who’s losing something not her”

It was a hard decision for Johnny but the breakup that he thought will give you both a peaceful life was a mistake. He went to your house with high hopes and flowers hoping that you will accept him back to your life. 

And you did. You welcomed Johnny with open arms and it was an emotional night. 

With Johnny coming back to your life, suddenly you’re happy again. It didn’t solve the problems back then, but it was better than breaking up. Nothings changed but it was alright. You see him again every week, spend time with you whenever he can, stay the night whenever he can, it was perfect. 

But just when you thought that everything is going smoothly, he breaks up with you again because you’ve been rushed to the hospital because of over fatigue and he can’t be with you. It happened a month after the incident and once again it broke you both. You thought this will be the final draw but it wasn’t, Johnny came back, apologized and you welcome him back to your life once again. 

It was becoming an on and off relationship. 

Present time 

As you open the door of your apartment, you heard the sound of the TV from your bedroom and you’re surprised that he’s here. 

“Wow you’re really blonde” you crossed your arms and lean on the door frame, he smiled and welcomed you with a hug and a few kisses here and there. It’s been two months since you last saw Johnny, he was so busy with NCT 2020 and he’s going to be even busier on the following days. 

“I left as soon as I can. Forgot that you have extra hours at work tonight” he said as he lets you change. 

“The vlive was so fun, you were all over the place” he chuckled and told you how the whole fandom went crazy about his hair, “Baby, I went crazy too. It suits you” he follows you to the bathroom and waits for you to finish freshening up. You kissed him with your minty lips and he carries you back to bed and kissed some more while cuddling. He reached for the remote and turned off the TV to have a peaceful and quiet night with you for the first time again after two months. 

Putting both of your legs in between his sides, you busy yourself and unbuckle his belt and remove his pants. He removes his shirt and helps himself get naked. You removed your shirt in front of him, making Johnny blush and grab your small figure close to him. He kissed you while he helps you remove your panties and position yourself on top of him. With bodies closer than ever, he spreads your ass cheeks and lines his cock in your entrance and gently push in. 

The soft light from your lampshade is making you sexier and it’s making him hornier. You roll your hips while he keeps you close to him, taking full control of every thrust. As much as Johnny loves fucking you, he loves it too whenever he just lay in your bed comfortably and you’re on top fucking him. His mouth is sucking your left boob and you feel his tongue swirl around as you continue with rolling your hips deliciously. 

You pull away and put your weight on your arms just above his thighs, leaning back and rolling your hips. It was a scene for Johnny’s eyes, the woman he loves looking so hot on top of him, using his cock to go off. “Oh you look so hot” he murmured but you heard it. 

“Want to fuck hard tonight?” you suggest. 

“We can?” he asks with short breaths, excited about what you said and you nod in approval. You kissed and went down from his gorgeous body to lay on the mattress and effortlessly, he turned your body and put you on your stomach. “Put your ass up for me, please” he whispered behind your ear and you followed. 

Legs spread wide from behind, face on the pillow, he kissed you before fucking you from behind. His hands are on your hips as he thrusts hard over and over again, making you drag your body on the mattress reaching for your boobs and pinch your nipples to make you yelp and moan. 

Johnny is a huge man, everything he does with a little force is already too much for you. He thrusts a little harder and your body flops on the mattress giving him the idea of fucking you with closed legs making your entrance tighter. It was a new position for both of you and it felt so good that he went from thrusting hard to giving you slow and deep thrust that you asked for more.  

“Oh, baby you feel that?” you nod your head weakly. He leaned down, even more, putting his whole weight on you making his cock push in deeper. He reached for your hand before he goes back to giving you hard and piercing thrusts again, whispering ‘i love yous’ and smiling at each other. 

 After fucking hard, he’s cradling you like a baby with his big muscled arms. Making you use his arm as your pillow, keeping you close to him. Under the thin white sheets, his hands and fingers are playing around your body. Tracing your curves, caressing your butt cheek, teasing your folds, while he admires you close to him. 

“I love you” you mean it. With every part of your being. 

He chuckled and hugged you tightly, “You made me believe in love. This is a once in a lifetime love. You don’t deserve to be a secret” he whispered back. And you don’t know what he meant about it. “Two months of being away from you baby… this really has to end.”

There he is again. Hurting you. 

“It never hurt when you’re away. I miss you terribly yes, but there's a promise that you will come back sooner or later. You know what can hurt me, Johnny? this. You, breaking up with me over and over again. Do you have any idea how that hurts? Hearing the man you love to give up over and over again?” you’re already crying in front of him and Johnny was speechless but still keeping you close to him. 

The night ended sadly and he left without a word but he kissed you goodbye and you hugged tight. 

Is it really the end this time? 

MAIN MASTERLIST

[duckieeart]

Victor’s - Moody Date

Hello! This is my entry for @little-butterfly-writes ‘s Contest . It’s my first time writing and I really enjoyed the process of it, enjoy reading this date!

Fandom: MLQC - Victor Li x Duckie (Mc)

Genre : jealousy jealousy jealousy , comfort , Filled with romance ( fluff)

Word count : 3,309

As If its not obvious enough to everybody.

I have feelings towards my boss, victor Li. I did fall in love with a person that I know i can’t reach even if i had him in my wildest dreams. I all i am wishing for is that no one know about these hidden feelings hoping that i will be able to maintain the decision i took and forget about him, But unfortunately things goes unplanned after I experienced certain feeling. jealousy .

If Kiki , Anna , the rest of my friends and colleagues found out about my secret feelings including the letters I wrote about victor secretly , I would get in big trouble , what letters you may ask? It’s simple. Basically, when i feel like I can’t control the love i feel towards him . I write down all my feelings in a letter and hide it somewhere , i got this idea from a movie i watched last year. At first , I haven’t thought not in a million years that I would use this idea and especially writing my unwanted feelings towards my CEO ,Aka victor li .

He was very strict and seemed to be very rude, i used to hate on him . He isn’t my type in men plus we’re completely different. Its not a big surprise since he is the CEO of an worldwide successful company ,LFG.

Just to clarify our differences. He made his company from the beginning meanwhile me, A young lady who inherited a show from her father once she Graduated from college. I didn’t even have an experience in life or the business field.

Everything were so difficult to me and it felt like an endless maze , the fact that I have him as my investor was like a miracle . Not only that but he really take good care of me . He is older in age , with a mature mindset . I am just young reckless, hesitant and inexperienced girl who just got a big position and so naive comparing to what she is responsible for .

I thought alot about giving up but victor make me change my mind and Instead of giving up he gave me the motivation to challenge him , i was in the mood to show him and prove to him that i can take the harsh responsibilities like an adult And be someone who is trust worthy enough to have his five hundred million investment in my show .

With time, i fall in love with him. And with everyday goes by it only grows bigger and bigger than the day before. The more i try to hide my feelings. The more it becomes obvious . When he confessed his feelings to me that day in the rooftop. I was beyond happy. I couldn’t sleep that day. But I quickly get back to the harsh reality, and remembered the huge gap between us, Victor deserve someone near to his position. Not me, comparing to him i am just a crybaby who rant about submitting reports and dealing with the deadlines every week .

But one day, I don’t know what’s goes inside my brain . I couldn’t even control my own body. When i found out that Victor would go to the awards banquet with another woman, I stopped thinking and I couldn’t care less about how weird i am behaving with my colleagues . In that night , i saw victor leaving the fancy banquet hall with another woman.

She looks way more mature and wiser than me. To put it in simple words she has everything i lack, and to my unfortunate luck. She does everything way better than me . And tonight , I witnessed My heart sinking in the ground. Its like i just got drenched in icy cold water in this snowy weather . I drank Alot . Wine, whiskey and even brandy . I couldn’t even recognize the bitterness in them . I just drink to be numb and ease my heart.

When the banquet came to an end ..

“ you two can head home first, its late . The weather is pretty today so i just want to walk and be alone for some time “ I spoke with a shaky voice tone, then left after grabbing my hand bag from the table.

“ whats wrong with our boss? She’s has been acting weird these few days especially today” Kiki spoke to anna.

Anna were worried as well , she just shrugs in confusion replying to kikis question.

“ i have never seen her like that before!” Anna added

“ it’s dangerous to let her be alone !, we can’t just leave her there! “ kiki said

“ she wanted time to get her self together, I think its very inappropriate for us to interrupt her wishes . * she smiled * Don’t worry minor would keep his eyes on her from afar “ Anna said while patting Kiki s shoulder gently to comfort her .

After leaving them. i rushed to the back beautiful garden to try and process everything happened tonight , the scenery were amazing but I couldn’t focus and appreciate it , I started regretting what i did, I shouldn’t push him away acting dumb and slow from the beginning. I love him more than anything, I admit i am very jealous and I don’t know how to deal with it because its my first time feeling this way about someone. I have never wanted someone as much I do for Victor.

These feelings were so exhausting to bear alone ,I was so hopeless that i even shared my story anonymously in tumbler with people but everyone advised me to stay away and forget about him for endless reasons. Yeah, they were right. But..

I also can’t… I CANT STOP LOVING HIM AND GIVE UP ON THIS . people wont have mercy on us and our relationship since we are a boss and worker in love but now seeing this . Realizing I might lose him forever. I don’t care, seeing him taking care of a random woman and accompanying her in the banquet really make me rethink about everything and even that thoughtful decision i took and was so confident about . I decided to head to the parking section for cars to follow them. I started running like crazy .

“GOD PLEASE PLEASE LET ME MAKE IT , PLEASE DONT LET THEM LEAVE TOGETHER ! . PLEASE.. I CANT LOSE HIM THIS TIME” i said begging .

I can lose anything and everything, but not him. I can’t lose Victor!

Because no one loved me like he did And I can’t imagine falling in love again with a different man.

Suddenly my foot slipped and i fall.

The expensive pair of high heel that i brought got ruined too. One of them broke But I couldn’t stop here! Im still in the middle of the way . My legs started be numb and it hurt a little because these shoes were new too , But I didn’t care, I can’t lose the path that can lead me to them! I still have to find Victor!

When i reached to the cars parking space , I couldn’t find them…

My nose suddenly started to burn and my eyes started sweating?, i decided to go back inside the banquet and sit . I couldn’t find chair there so I went to sit the corner on the stairs like a lost child. I started to cry heartily like a baby who lost her parents . But for me comparing to the baby I lost everything, I lost Victor..

My body is shaking and I couldn’t stop the thoughts in my mind. My mind went wild and started to even imagining how they would look together in the church . Kissing each other passionately after announcing them as a husband and wife. My heart suddenly started to beat so fast and I began to struggle breathing , while sobbing quietly.

Suddenly i felt a warm coat landed on my head, shoulders and has familiar manly scent ..

my face were swallowed, especially my eyes and nose. I was slow to react and realizing that this coat belongs to him…. And only him. Victor..

I felt strange feeling , i was happy and relieved that i was able to meet him again.. and that happiness give me strange feelings in my tummy . I believe that’s what they call “butterflies in the stomach” , I felt really warm. I don’t think it’s because of that coat. But him. Who give them his scent and body temperature

“ * sigh helplessly at the view* Dummy.. what are you doing here in this condition ? Don’t you know it’s dangerous area, especially in this hour? What if someone came for you ? Or even decided to kidnap you ,taking you away ? What are going to do? I searched everywhere for you and I couldn’t find you its like you weren’t in this earth from the beginning , WHERE THE HECK YOU WERE??? ………. But most importantly are you okay? Did something happen?……… Duckie , are you crying? “

my eyes couldn’t stop the tears from coming out when he were talking in such an sharp voice, he was really worried so he was furious to see me in such a state alone , but when he noticed that i was crying so hard, sniffing and wiping my eyes his voice turned so soft and calm

he grabbed my hands and hold them between his hands to warm them up

I refused to talk or face him because i wasn’t looking at my best right now, he just kneeled down to my level like prince charming and looked at me, he noticed how swallowed and red my face are.. he reached with his hands to hold my cheeks while massaging my under eyes

“ do they hurt A lot? “ he said quietly ,

I nodded while looking in the ground, my eyes fell upon his shoes trying to avoid his glare.

“If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine too. Lets go home first … its getting late” he said..

I nodded because i was too tired to reply using sentences . I stand and remembered my broken heels and slightly injured foot.

Before I could explain, Victor carried me bridal style , I didn’t needed to explain anything. I felt warm , safe and happy, that I forget that I’m being held between his arms . I gave up to the warm sensation and fall asleep.

Victor put me in his car gently , wrapping my body with his big coat then went to grab hot tea and body warmers from the super market near by.

i took some time to wake up, when i wake up i was still in his car , the car was really warm. I didn’t find Victor on the driver seat so i looked outside.

i saw him tapping on his tablet working and answering calls . I also noticed that we’re near the sea and its 12am . I took my time appreciating the view , then i knocked at the window. Victor saw me and returned to the car.

“ you wake up, how do you feel now ? “ he asked with a soft voice

“ i am better now , sorry for making a scene back there. I was really upset about something so i was drunk , angry and upset thats why I decided to be alone , sorry i worried you and caused you trouble “i said while looking into his eyes.

“ dummy… And why did you drink? “ he said angrily ..

“ please don’t be mad i was just so upset, can’t you just allow me to drink only this time?” I said

“ yes, i am angry at you… but also glad to see you safe and better. After all , i can’t ask for more from dummy like you” victor said then poked the tip of my nose lightly with his fingers , after that he patted my head gently, smiling at me .

“ its late, let’s head home” he said

After few minutes driving i realized that we are in different path and its unfamiliar to me.

“ where are we going “ i asked hesitantly ..

“ to My home” he said

“ to your home??”

“Well, only if your apartment was nearby like my home. Its late already, just sleep tonight in my house” he said calmly

I nodded in agreement.

After few minutes we arrived.

Victor opened the door for me , i entered inside . His home was big but also felt so warm and cozy . Victor turned to face me “ go and take a hot shower, then dry your hair. Don’t get cold. I asked them to prepare you clothes. If you need anything ask me “ he said

i went to the room. It was big as expected and has a fancy bathtub. After i finished showering and preparing for bed. When i was about to head to sleep, I suddenly heard knocks on my door .

“Get in “ i said

The door was opened and it was victor, he was wearing his classic black pjs

“ as expected, you didn’t even dry your hair yet you headed to sleep anyways“ he said..

“What if you get cold?” He added

He went to grab a hairdryer from the drawer . Then turned to face me

“ come here” he said

I understand what he want so i sit and give him my back. He started to dry my hair, touching my hair so gently. After he finished drying my hair he took a hair tie and started to tie my hair.

“ there’s something I wanted to say to you” he said

“ hmm? “ I replied

“ i will get to the point “ he said

“ I might not know what exactly that got you so bothered like that , but you must know that there are a lot of circumstances in the world that are out of our control. The causes and reasons behind every circumstance is complicated. In a world where it’s impossible to know everything, it’s normal that we experience things we cannot understand and find difficult to accept. Even so, we have to accept it. There are many ways to accept it. Crying is also one of them. However, only for one night. ( he took my hand that was planning on reaching my face)…. And don’t rub your eyes, it will be better if you leave it and take a good sleep “ he added .

After leaving, he leaned to kiss my head .

“ good night “ he said

“ wait! “ i said

His eyes locked into mine , waiting for me to say what I want to say.

“ why did you went to the banquet, with her? “ i couldn’t stop my curiosity so i asked him .

He chuckled quietly then pinned my chin forcing me to look at him..

“ you jealous? “ he said

A bold idea came up to me ,

“Yes..i am! “ I didn’t wasted time and answered his question seriously.

He was frozen in his place , stopped chuckling and has a surprised face expression .

I gathered all my courage to say the three most difficult words ..

“ i love you victor! “ i said , while looking into his face..

then reached to his face and give him a quick peck on his lips ..

“ don’t make me feel this way again, I hate it !“ i said and then went for another kiss . But He didn’t kiss me back , still surprised by my bold move.

“ when i saw how you looked to her when she was talking to you . You were smiling while and looking into her eyes , I wondered if you ever started to lose your feelings towards me , i was really scared of losing you.. i even started to imagine how you would look in your groom suit .. standing beside her in front of everyone… i was so scared “ my voice cracked at the end.. i felt the tears forming in my eyes

“ I really… really don’t want to lose you . I did my research about her, She won countless times and even has the f-“ my speech were cut off with his hot kiss .

He closed his eyes and rested his one hand on the back of my head and the other on my neck.

He pulled his lips away from mine when he noticed how i was struggling to breathe.

“ … you talk too much” he said while maintaining his sharp eyes on me.

“Since when you had these thoughts on that little brain of yours? Instead of using it on useless things, apply this effort and worry about your unfinished weekly report instead. You thought I haven’t noticed how distracted you were ?“ Victor said.

“ relax dummy , Lili is just an older sister to me. She asked if i can company her since her husband on business trip outside china. Lili is busy in work but also dealing with three kids at the same time. I was just helping her manage the deal she had with SJ company , you don’t have to worry that little head of yours on such matters “ victor added.

“ Duckie, i searched for you, and luckily after 10017 years i was able to meet you again. The little head of yours could never imagine how bad I wanted to see that silly smile of yours again. I waited for so long , and you better make it up to me. In other words , Be mine” victor said , while holding my left cheek and went for another breathless kiss ..

“ i —-love —-you——-, Dummy “ he said between his kisses ..

“ don’t close your eyes, look at me when iam talking to you. You know that i love when you’re bold with me, right?” he said smiling at me then slightly biting my lower lip ..

“I was so happy when i met you, in the end of the banquet . I thought you went with her“ i said while having a big silly smile on my face

“ There is only one thing you should be happy about……. It has always been you and only you” he said while looking at my eyes and holding my hot blushing cheeks in his big hand .

After making out sessions for straight two hours , he lay me down on the bed pulling the quilt over my body.

“ go to sleep, and NEVER think about theses useless matters . if you want to ask me something Just ask me directly ... Goodnight dummy” he said ..

“Good night” i replied softly

He smiled then give me a final forehead kiss and went outside the room after dimming the lights ..

In the next day i went to LFG to submit my weekly report , suddenly i received a call from Kiki

“ boss, i made a surprise for you!! you are going to thank me for it . Don’t overthink about it, and just enjoy the surprise” she said while giggling in mischievous manner.

She closed the call, i was nervous and curious at the same time but I didn’t pay much attention on that because I didn’t have much time left, i have weekly report to submit! . I hurried to victors office and luckily I arrived on time but I found my secret love letters has been opened on victors office already and he had one of them on his hand , taking his time reading it while drinking his coffee ..

he noticed me standing near the door , surprised and embarrassed . Victor smirked in anticipation

“ You have a lot of explainings to do , Producer Duckie “ he said while giving me smirky face

what a Great start to my day.

The End

Thank you for reading, see you next time!

[ourloveisforthelovely]

One Chance (one shot)

Harry Potter Marauders Era 

Request:  hey so i was thinking could you might do a regulus x reader where the reader is like sassy or maybe all cold hearted? i honestly love ur page but i cant never relate with the reader bc she is always too soft 😭 maybe like if they understood each others depression and then end up falling in love? idk how to explain

To the annon who requested this: I hope that you enjoy

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 

Rating: M

_____________

“Y/n, Regulus Black has been looking at you for the past 10 minutes.” 

You didn’t bother looking up from your potions book when your friend Anastasia spoke. The last thing that you wanted to deal with was Regulus Black and his stupid good looks. 

“He needs to look somewhere else.”

You commented. Regulus Black had been staring at you a lot lately and it was beginning to get under your skin. Before a few weeks ago Regulus had nothing to do with you. It didn’t matter that the two of you had always been in the same house for the past 6 years or that the two of you had friends in the same circle. In fact, he took extra measure to not speak to you. 

The best that you could come up with was he was uncomfortable with you going on a date with his old brother. Your heart hurt thinking about that particular time in your life. That was when you were an innocent sweet 4th year. Sirius dated you for all of a week before dumping you for some pretty Ravenclaw with blond hair and big boobs. 

This was also the time that your depression really started kicking in. You weren't quite sure how to deal with all of the feelings swirling through your head. From dealing with your first break up to all of these dark and intrusive thoughts...you didn’t know how to cope. None of your friends seemed to understand either. A few of them chose to ignore what you were going through. The rest didn’t know how to deal with constant sarcastic comments. Now you had a few that stuck with you because it was in their best interest. If someone bothered them, you would chew the miserable fuckers ass out that caused them grief. This was a healthier outlet than sinking a knife into your arm. 

Being at home was no better. Your mum tried to constantly get you off of the couch to do things but she didn’t seem to understand that you wanted nothing to do with whatever she was doing. Her words of…

“Stop lying on the couch like a giant hairball and do something. Go enjoy the day.” 

Apparently you mother didn’t understand that you definition of “enjoying the day” meant being left the fuck alone. 

That is one of the reasons that you preferred being at school. You could find peaceful places to be left alone.

Anastasia spoke again, pulling you from your thoughts. 

“He probably thinks that you are pretty, Y/n. You really are a lovely girl.”

“Go get your eyes checked. Anna, I have as much luck with boys as a turtle does crossing the road.” 

You muttered as the bell rang. 

Not a moment too soon. 

You thought as you stood to gather up your things. You were getting away from Anastasia and her mind numbing questions. Walking to the door you ran into a hard body. 

Looking up, Regulus Black had turned around to just who the fuck ran into him. He blinked a few times the moment that your eyes met. 

“Watch where you are going, Black.”

You hissed. Regulus automatically frowned. 

“You ran into me.” 

“So, you aren’t moving fast enough?”

You replied, not missing a beat. Regulus seemed a bit surprised by your comment. He wasn’t for sure why you were hostile toward him. In all of the years that he had known you, with the exception of year 1 and 2, you acted like he had personally fucked you over. 

Regulus couldn’t help admitting that you were a lovely girl but your sarcastic hostile nature was a bit off putting. He had decided the year before just to avoid you at all costs. This year, however, he understood more about you. You were as depressed as he was. Regulus never understood it until this year. 

Over the summer, Sirius ran off to James Potter’s abandoning his family. Regulus didn’t know how to put into words how he felt about it either. There was sinking in the middle of his stomach that never seemed to go away. It was there when he went to sleep at night and was waiting when he awoke the next morning. Regulus honestly never thought that he would be happy again. 

He figured that returning to school would soothe those feelings. Regulus would be back with his best friends and would have no reason to think of Sirius. Unfortunately, the moment that he stepped into the great hall and saw his brother sitting at the Gryffindor table smiling and laughing. There was clearly no sadness in Sirius over the events of the summer. This sent Regulus into a deeper depression. His brother didn’t miss him and never would.

“You know most people just say excuse me and go on about their business.” 

Regulus replied. 

“Just get out of my way.”

You hissed and moved to get around him. Regulus honestly didn’t deserve your venom. He, after all, had done absolutely nothing to you. 

He hasn’t done anything to you but you have no reason to trust him. Regulus will probably be just like his brother. You’ll get attached and have your heart broken. 

You thought. It wasn’t fair to compare Regulus to Sirius when they were obviously such different people but you couldn’t help it. Most guys, no matter the house, was the same. 

As you walked down the hall, you wanted nothing more than to have some time alone. You decided to walk down to the lake. A free period was just what you needed! 

Sitting down, you took out a book and quietly began to read. It wasn’t until you were on paragraph two did you realize that someone was standing in front of you. Looking up, again your eyes met Regulus Black’s. 

“What now, Black?” 

You questioned. He put his hands on his hips feeling a bit annoyed. After the exchange in the potions, he decided that it was time for both of you to have a little chat. 

“You and I need to talk.”

“Whatever about?”

You questioned as he sat down. 

“I want to know why you hate me so bad?”

“I never said that I hated you.” 

Regulus chuckled. 

“Sure could have fooled me. You are always glaring at me like I personally offended you.” 

You put your book down. 

“I just don't like being oogled by some guy who is going to screw me over.” 

Regulus raised an eyebrow. 

“You don’t know me.” 

“Yeah, I know your brother. All guys are the same so it doesn’t matter who you are.”

The response came out a little snipper than you planned. Standing up, you turned to storm back to the castle. Just who the fuck did Regulus think that he was? So what if he was a member of the Black family? 

Woo-freaking-who.

“First, off you don’t know anything about me. I am nothing like my brother. If you would give me a bloody chance you would see that. I see what you are doing Y/n. I get it you use sarcasm and cold humor to cope. I do it too. As much as you want to come across as this tough girl who doesn’t need anyone, you're actually quite lonely…again I get it.” 

You stopped before turning to face Regulus. He sat with his knees drawn to his chest. Dark eyes looked up at you with an intensity that you had never seen on his face before. 

“I don’t like this, Regulus.”

He smirked. 

“You don’t like someone figuring out who you are, Y/n. You don’t want people seeing that inside you are actually in pain. Again, I can relate.” 

Regulus stood and walked down closer to the lake. 

“My brother, who I know that you dated and I know he did you wrong, he abandoned our family over the summer. Now...everything is up to me. I am the only heir to the Black family. I have to do everything and I don’t fucking want to. I want to do whatever it is I want and there not be repercussions for my actions. However, that won’t be able to happen now.” 

You frowned and watched him curiously. 

“And why is that? Why can’t you just walk away? You’ll be an adult soon. Tell them to fuck off.”

Regulus laughed. 

“If only it were that easy. You see my mother, she depends on me and I can’t let her down. If you knew my family, you would understand.”

You had heard plenty of rumors about the Black family. Regulus’ mother sounded like the typical pureblood mother. Maybe a bit darker than what your mother was but a pureblood mother all the same. 

“I’m sure our families are very similar. Lovely bunch, purebloods.” 

Regulus laughed bitterly at that. There wasn’t much that was lovely about being a pureblood when your mother was Walburga Black. 

“Then you will understand why we have to do things that we don’t want to do. For example, being a death eater.” 

“Regulus…”

He automatically pulled up his sleeve to show you the dark mark on his arm. Regulus wasn’t surprised when you made no facial expression. He had a feeling that you had seen your fair share of dark marks lately. 

“My mother and father were okay with me doing it. Actually, they were quite proud that their son was doing the right thing...the just thing. I think I am too...at points. There are other times that I am not for sure. I see your face. You have the same expression. I bet you about 10 galleons, if you pull up your sleeves there are going to very similar cut marks...sometimes it gets too much.” 

You looked down. For the first time, your tough exterior faded. 

“You do it too...cut your wrists?”

Regulus nodded. 

“Physical pain is better than mental pain, at times. Maybe we understand each other more than we thought?” 

Your crossed arms slowly dropped to your sides.

“Maybe. We could also really hurt each other.” 

Regulus’ hopeful smile fell. 

“Or help each other. I don’t know what my brother did to you but I’m not him. Sirius and I have nothing in common except our last names. I mean, our last name is literally all that we have in common. You’ll get stupid bullshit with him. I’m on my A game. You wouldn’t have to guess what you were to me. All that you have to do is give me a chance. If it makes you feel better...I know where my brother is about this time of day and...well...sometimes Sirius isn’t so bright.” 

You snorted. 

“You could say that again. Fine, you have a chance. Don’t mess it up Regulus.” 

Regulus held out his hand with a small smile. Something told you to be wary. The depressive side said, no but something deep inside of you said yes.

You reached out and wrapped your hand around Regulus’. He gave you a small smile before tugging in you with him.  

“This is going to be funny.” 

You slipped through quiet corridors behind Regulus as he checked for any “little eyes” that would get into his way. He finally stopped the moment that he saw Sirius and James standing in an empty hallway playing “exploding snap.”

Regulus lightly elbowed you in the side before grinning. He had his wand out and muttered something low. You weren’t able to make out what he said but it didn’t matter. It looked as if someone had a bucket of water and dumped it all over Sirius and James. Both boys jumped back looking around wildly as another explosion of water knocked them off of their feet. James hit the ground first. Sirius reached out to help his best friend only to get hit in the face with water for the third time. He was knocked off his feet and directly on top of James. His elbow crashing into James’ crotch. James howled in pain as Sirius started rubbing his head where he hit the stone floor. 

“Pads, stop. You're killing me!”

James shrieked. Sirius was yelling about how truly sorry he was over and over. 

You, meanwhile, had to hold back a fit of rare laughter. Regulus, himself, was grinning as he turned the floor to ice. Both James and Sirius were sliding all over the place all the while screaming curse words after curse words.

“Whoever you are! We are going to fuck you up!��� 

Sirius yelled as Regulus reached down and squeezed your hand. 

“This is where we make our exit. They are going to be sliding around for a while.” 

You ran after Regulus, until he pulled you into an empty classroom 

“That was fun.”

He commented. 

“Fucking brilliant. Watching them slide all over the place while looking like drowned ferrets was the best fun that I have had in awhile.” 

Regulus smiled, giving you a cocky smile. 

“That’s only the beginning. I have a lot better material...if you want to watch.” 

You reached up and pulled the taller boy down by his tie. Regulus was clearly a bit surprised but leaned right into the kiss. When he pulled away, you tossed your hair over his shoulder. 

“Watching is for babies. I want to help.” 

______

@amelie-black

@truly-insatiable

@fandomsxxregulus

@realgaytrash

@spiderxalmighty

@lucasfilms77

@exhsle

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@untoldshortsofthefandoms

@sprnaturallover

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@shitfaceddaniel

@wontlookaway

@mycuddlycorner

[softkuna]

playlist

›  𝚋𝚘𝚔𝚞𝚝𝚘 𝚡 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚡 𝚔𝚞𝚛𝚘𝚘

› 𝚙𝚘𝚕𝚢. 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚢 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛 𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚞𝚎𝚜. 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚞𝚕𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚟𝚒𝚋𝚎𝚜. 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜 𝚊 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝.

›  𝟸𝟷𝟿𝟻𝚔

You had a shit day. You got pegged in the face with a volleyball so hard, you could practically taste the concussion as you sprawled backwards. Luckily, the medic ok’d you to keep playing. Unluckily, the whole ordeal happened right in front of a pro team’s scouting manager. The embarrassment alone made you want to hide under a rock until next season. To make it all sting just a little bit more, Bokuto and Kuroo had their own games to attend, so it wasn’t like you could curl up in Kuroo’s dorm like you might’ve before. Bokuto was only in town for a few days, too, and you were certain he’d be practicing or playing the whole weekend. So instead, you sigh as you walk onto the train by campus, shooting a text to the tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum.

🗨️We lost :( I think I broke my nose. And my careeeeeeer

  Bokuto’s fingers rapid-fire replied, followed my Kuroo’s more casual pace.

  🗯️BROKEN NOSE?!! ARE YOU OK???

🗯️Wait how did u lose? Aren’t they good luck????

💬That’s a broken leg, bruh.

💬Sorry babe. You’re not concussed, though, right?

🗨️I’m fine ^^” just pulled a hina

🗯️Hows a broken leg good luck? U cant play on that THAT SHIT HURTS 😱 😱

🗨️👀 👀 👀

🗨️Bo pls

  As you sat on the train, you quietly snorted to yourself. Bokuto was an amazing player and an even better boyfriend, but sometimes you thought his muscles squeezed out a braincell or two.

💬Saw the clip on twitter. hows your face? I’m sure its still hot

  You scoffed with a roll of your eyes. Kuroo, flirtatious as always, but your reflexive smile matched the tone of your text.

🗨️If hot = busted, then sure 🙄

🗯️HEY UR HOT 😘 😘 SHUDDUP

  By the way their texts disjointedly pieced together before coming to a halt, you knew their matches started. You locked your screen with a sigh. Whether it was the ace’s ADHD-induced impulse thoughts or the blocker’s humorously blunt honesty, the two had always managed to spike your spirits high and block the anxieties that crept over the net. Without their distractions, the day replayed in 4K across the theater of your mind. Back slumped against the seat, you could feel the heaviness of it drag you down to the ocean floor.

  But now here you were, walking to your apartment with no reprieve from the disappointment. Rather than doing your adult responsibilities like clean, cook, or generally care past a shower, you slept. It was a deep, blank sleep. The type where you know you’d wake up feeling that eerie calm in the dead of night.

    Brightness blared next to your pillow – invading your vision as it violently vibrated against your hand. A loud ring attacked your half-concious hearing, jolting your heart like a jumpstarted engine. Quick reflexes enacted before you could stop the near Olympic vault of your phone into the wall across the bed.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me… who the hell….” You tear the blankets off, shivering at the cold as you pick the device back up. Thank your lord and savior, Asahi, for gifting you an Otter Box for Christmas.

  A gentle gasp left your lips as you saw a slew of missed texts from the dynamic duo. Oh no. Oh no. You felt horrendous. Your phone lit up as a photo of Kuroo with a French fry up his nose vibrated to life.

  As fast as your fingers could, you slid to answer, “He-“

  “-LLO WE ARE OUTSIDE ARE YOU COMING OR WHAT?!” Bokuto hollered into the mic, practically blowing out the speaker with sheer vocal force.

  “Holy shit, Bo! What? What do you mean?” Cautiously, the screen was brought closer to your cheek again, ghosting about a centimeter for your hearing’s safety.

  “Don’t you check your phone, hot-stuff? We’re going for a drive,” Kuroo honked the horn, echoing through the window and phone.

  Sure enough, the string of texts was about a drive and a half-planned plan of action. Thrilled enthusiasm rippled through you. You didn’t even think you’d get to see Bokuto this visit let alone with Kuroo! Praise the scheduling gods!

  The phone squished between your shoulder and ear as hands searched for an outfit that wasn’t your hoe shorts and sports bra. You threw on Bokuto’s old Ace’s Way shirt, and on top a near ancient Nekoma varsity jacket. Both items of which were left in your apartment from a get together nearly a year ago, “I’ll be out in a sec!”

  College was difficult. Especially when each of you had gone in somewhat different directions after high school. Kuroo, like yourself, played volleyball in university. And like yourself, nearly ripped his hair out when experiencing the hell that was Macroeconomics with Professor Mori. Bokuto was scouted play volleyball professionally, popping in and out of Tokyo to visit you two. At some point along the way and a slew of confusing budding emotions later, the three of you dove head first into a lovingly symbiotic relationship. It was hard when each of your schedules were chaotic, but worked out for the best as you all strove for your own goals while cheering each other on.

  You grabbed your bag of random things including underwear, extra clothes, and some money.  You never knew with the two of them what may happen and you learned from one wild trip to Osaka that Bokuto’s sense of direction was about as bad as you’d think it’d be.

  Half jogging, you rolled your eyes to the red corvette. Kuroo loved that thing way too much. Through the window, you could see Bokuto lean across the console to open the back driver-side door for you. The grin he wore could’ve fueled the sun itself, “BABE! LIGHT OF MY LIFE! EDGE-LINE STRAIGHT SHOT! WER’RE GOING ON AN ADVENTURE,” His muscular arm stretched to you, calloused hands reaching for you to grab.

  He pulled you you between the seats for a  bear hug, wide chest nearly eating you whole. He was as toasty as always. Or maybe it was just your cheeks. Either way, you were happy to see him, “Missed you, Bo! Sorry for missing the texts.”

  “You were asleep weren’t ya?” Kuroo turned in the driver side, a hand finding its place at the crown of your hair. The lazy pique of his own lop-sided smile greeted your playful glare, which melted into a nod and a sigh. The look he gave softened at the navy-coated aura rolling off you in waves. He stroked your hair once, poking your cheek as his hand passed it, “You’re here. ‘s all that matters. Now, Hoots over here can shut up about your nose, which is… a little fucked up, wow.”

  “You don’t say?” Your expression dead-panned as Bokuto pulled back from you to examine the swollen cartilage. While you wanted them to see the game, you were absolutely glad that they didn’t. Bokuto would have barreled down the bleachers had he seen your wipe out in person. Actually, you recalled a snap from Atsumu; the camera pointed to the tile of a locker room, Bokuto’s howling in the background with a simple caption of ‘You good?’  

  Pulling away from the ace, you sat back into the middle seat, arms resting on the leather between the passenger and driver sides. Kuroo drove with his hands low on the wheel, long digits thwacking the steering wheel to a silent beat. You glanced between the two, suspicious of their matching expressions. You dared ask, “Why’s it so quiet?”

  “Are you saying-“ Kuroo began.

  “-you want some tuunesss?” Bokuto ended giddily.

  He readily tapped a button on his phone, shielding the screen from you protectively. Kuroo’s gaze darted between the dash screen and the road, waiting for whatever shitpost song Bokuto most definitely was about to put on.

  “Guys… what are you-“

  A record scratch.

  I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me.

  “You’re fucking kidding me! Turn it up, turn it up!” Your hand bulleted to the volume, body squeezing past the two to crank up Cascada’s Everytime We Touch until the windows rattled. Kuroo and Bokuto shared a knowing, toothy smirk. Bingo.

  “Forgive me, my weakness, but I don't know why

Without you, it's hard to survive!”

  Duetting with the utmost of dramatics, you and Bokuto reached for some imaginary lover escaping in the distance, opposite hand grasping near your hearts. Kuroo snickered, forever and always amused at how weirdly in-sync the two of you could be. Watching both of you thrash wildly together was probably the most endearing thing he’s seen all day.

  The silveret pumped his fists as you both scream-sang the modern masterpiece. His large hands enveloped yours with enough theatrics to shake the emotion into the chorus:  

  “'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling

And every time we kiss, I swear I could fly

Can't you feel my heart beat fast? I want this to last

Need you by my side

'Cause every time we touch, I feel the static

And every time we kiss, I reach for the sky

Can't you hear my heart beat so? I can't let you go

Want you in my life!”

  The palm of your hands smacked into their biceps at the last lines, letting the 2000’s synth twinkle into your veins. The vibes in this vehicle were immaculate. Waves that crashed over you, drowning you earlier in the day, receded, leaving sun-warmed sands to dance across. The ones who paved the way were a sarcastic cat and overzealous owl.

  The song was coming to an end and you excitedly whipped between the two, “What’s next?! What’s the playlist?! Link it to me? Please?” You bat your eyelashes at them, Kuroo nudging his chin to the other. The ace hurriedly clicked a few buttons and opened a few apps, radiating delight itself, “Done!” Your phone buzzed with Bokuto’s link. The title of the playlist popped up, overpouring unadulterated admiration into your heart until it warmed up to your cheeks.

  Tunes To Cheer Our Best Babe Up To.

 It was silly, but on brand for the two. All of the songs were added within the last three hours by both boys. Each one of them an absolute banger.

  It was Kuroo’s idea in the beginning. He remembered all the times in high school you’d cry after an exam, near inconsolable until he’d loan you his headphones. Just a few months ago, he caught you throwing it back to the beat of some pop classic after you failed your first semester’s final exams. There’s a video of it somewhere, but he won’t admit to the sin. You know it because you can hear him hyena-laugh in the hallway every so often as Bad Boy riots in the background.

  Bokuto, with all the brilliantly rambunctious enthusiasm the world could give a single human being, added in every song he already had in his likes. All of which he sung with you on every trip until your voices hurt. He even added Mr. Brightside, reminding you of the time he screamed so loud during the chorus that he sounded like a donkey the rest of the day and into his next match. To this very day, the infamous ‘O ᴼO ᵒn ᵉ  TᵒOᵘCʰ’ could be heard in the locker rooms by each teammate in unison.

  You paused as the next song hit, mouth abruptly shutting as the two in the front recited, word-for-word,

  “Man, fuck.”

“What's wrong Bo?”

“Man, these kids, man, talkin' shit, makin' me feel bad.”

“Man, fuck them kids, bro! Look around, hoots, look at life!”

“Man, you're right”

“Mmm, you see? You see this fine bitch right over here?” Kuroo’s long fingers pinched your cheek at the red light, laughing as you jokingly smacked it away.

“Yeah, woah...” Bokuto beamed at you.

“You see these trees man? You see this water?” You snorted as Kuroo’s hand waved to four-way intersection.

“I guess it is okay.”

“Come on, man, you got so much more to appreciate, man.”

“Man you know what, y-you're right...” The words, lyrics or otherwise, still brought a childish scrunch to the ace’s handsome face.

“You damn right I'm right,” Kuroo smirked, taking even the smallest bit of delight out of his perfected timing, “I can't remember a time I was god-damn wrong.”

“Man, thanks, Demon Cat.”

“Hey man, that's what I'm here for.”

  Bokuto, half-joke-half-serious punched Kuroo’s bicep, eliciting a feral smirk as they went into the chorus. Bo’s arms crossed as he shook his shoulders to the beat. Kuroo threw down at the next red light, clapping to each beat. Just as the bass shook your heart in its chest, both players head-banged with all their might, car jerking with the force. You feared for the steering wheel and the threat of an airbag going off when both boys slam-drummed the vehicle’s surface. The sight of the two of them going absolutely feral elicited the brightest cackle from your belly.

  They really knew how to turn your shittiest days into your new favorites. And you’d definitely be revisiting this playlist.

[writesandfights]

#100 “I didn’t do it!” JJ x reader, where reader is accused of cheating because Rafe started a rumor, and JJ doesn’t believe reader. Reader confronts Rafe about it and he hurts her. JJ later finds out the truth.

PROMPT # : 100

WORD COUNT: 1715

WARNINGS: PHYSICAL VIOLENCE - READER HURT

PAIRING: JJ X READER

MONACHOPSIS

You didn’t know about the rumors until the brunette boy you knew as Pope stood over you and his facial expression turned negative. He was angry and he clearly couldn’t help but let it show, he was good with his emotions unless someone hurt those he had loved, then he let them all go and he didn’t care who was in his way. “ Come on. You have to be kidding me! You know he is completely fragile and you chose to cheat on him with the one person that literally almost killed him! You're better than this!”

You looked up and shook your head when you saw JJ, he was walking towards you with some sort of anger spread over his lips. He looked like he was ready to commit a murder in all honesetly, you didn’t know what to say to him or even what to do to make him believe you. He reached you rather fast when his eyes traced over your face, he was completely broken up about this fact and now it would cause him to resort to nothing more than a deep anger at the bottom of his bones.

He had a look of sadness that sat over his face, it all tied to some fake rumor started at a party, something stupid that you didn’t know about. JJ was hurt and you couldn’t be the one to fix it, you couldn’t even help it, you did this, that's what you figured, you did this. “ you know. I have very rarely trusted people with my emotions, I don't open up.. I defend those who can't defend themselves, I give way to many chances and - I know everyone has some sort of expectation about me, and you- you know, you have always been the one person that made me feel like- I didn’t have to impress you, but of course, you're just like everyone else.”

“ i didn’t do it!” Just like everyone else. You are just like everyone else. A moment passed when you blinked and he was gone, he walked away and didn’t even give you a second to reply. That was the end of your relationship in that moment, you had lost the one thing you wanted to have, you lost JJ, the love of your life. YOu had to do something in that moment and you would do what you could, you took a second and started to walk towards Rafe's house. He lived on the high end side and you didn’t care if his family would see a poor person like you standing in his yard, he had to own up to what he did.

Sarah waved to you and kept walking down to the dock when her brother finally came outside, you took a deep breath when you walked closer to him and grabbed him by the shirt, pushing him down. He hit the ground and you stood over him, your eyes clouded with tears when he had been staring up once more, “ don't you even know what in the hell you did, daddy;s money isn't going to fix this one you messy son of a bitch! You ruined the one good thing I had going for me just so you can make me seem like one of your many one night stands, I'll have you know one thing you rich weasel!”

You stopped when you soothed the anger in your bones, you were able to control that feeling but you said what he needed to hear. He needed to hear this, “ you really think any of those girls wanted to sleep with you? They slept with you so they could feel something, girls sleep with who they want, guys sleep with anyone they possibly could. Learn your place rich boy before you end up at the bottom of a pond where you deserve.”

Rafe stared up at you and that moment you knew you messed up, he had been angry and stood up to grab your hair. THe man pulled you down to the ground when he climbed on top of you and straddled your hips, he wasn't gonna let you get up when he started to beat you. He used his fists, hitting you until he could feel the pain in his knuckles, once he had hit you enough to cause a black eye and a busted lip, he got up and kicked you in the stomach. You screamed in pain until you got the attention of Sarah, the one princess who was willing to take care of everyone else.

She rushed at her brother and pushed him off, you rolled over and coughed up blood, it stained the bright brown deck and she shook her head. “ rafe! You delusional idiot, what in the hell did you do!” Rafe rolled over and laughed when he was able to sit up and stare at you, “ funny thing about men, Y/N, girls cant fight who they want, but men can, it's what happens when you are strong. Isn't that funny..”

The man got up and laughed when he had started to walk away, he didn’t care about any of what had been said, he didn’t bother to take care of you, he left you bleeding with his little sister, staring into your eyes with a sorrowful expression. You curled into a little ball, hugging your knees to your chest when she rubbed your back “ I know it hurts, I know.. I need you to look at me, I can't help unless you let me..”

You left the girl help, she put a butterfly bandage on your lip and the small slit in your eyebrow, causing the pain to seep into your skin rather than on the outside. You went home after then, placing an icepack on your stomach and laid down on your bed. The pain was coming and going in waves, any little breath you took seemed to awaken that feeling inside of you, but you would then let it die out to stop breathing for another minute.

JJ sat on the boat when Sarah showed up, she sat down on the lap of her boyfriend, running her fingers through his hair and she had her own tea to spread. “ so.. You won’t believe what happened, Y/N showed up to talk about the rumor that Rafe spread, you know that he slept with a bunch of girls but - anyways..”

He had instantly paid attention to what she was saying, John B nodded while this conversation was only supposed to be between the two of them, he couldn’t help but listen. “ oh.. Yah, uh, maybe we should avoid that subject, JJ and her just broke up..” JJ shook his head when he heard that you had gone over there, he sat down in front of Sarah and nodded weakly, he needed to know what happened, “ what happened. I don't care if we just broke up, I need to know what- what happened. Please.”

“ JJ.. it's been one long rumor, she never slept with him, she was with me that night, all night, she ended up in the toilet most of the time, her and vodka don't mix.. But she came over and confronted Rafe, and it got - got to the point where he laid his hands on her.. I wasn’t able to stop it - at least not before I heard her scream for help.” He felt his heart ache and the guilt instantly swept over him, he licked his lips while rubbing his jaw and got to his feet. The man rushed to the house where Rafe lived, he had his gun in hand and prepared to kill him if need be, he wanted to hurt him, kill him.

He beat the living hell out of Rafe until his knuckles were a deep red and scabbed over with blood along with bruises because of what he did. Rafe had a new enemy and most of all JJ had to win you back and your trust, he betrayed you and trusted the words of a liar over you. He was sore and his white shirt covered in blood, a new bruise on the lower region of his jaw but it was nothing compared to what happened to Rafe.

JJ knocked on the door weakly, having soon been pulled open by you. You Had been in a large shirt, an ice pack on your stomach when you could only see out of one eye, he couldn’t bare to look at you, he wasn't there to defend you. He had done nothing to help you, “ baby.. I heard about what happened and- I am so sorry.. I should have known better. You wouldn't do that to me, i- I had been angry and didn’t mean any of those words I said. “

“ why - why are you covered in blood..” He moved forwards and just held your hips when he hugged you, he made sure not to squeeze you too hard, refusing to let go of you. He buried his head into your neck when he kissed it softly, letting his lips grace over your skin like they had many times. “ I had a few words with Rafe before I showed up here.. He won't be talking bad about you ever again.. This is all his blood.. Please forgive me.. I love you..”

You smiled once more and wrapped your arms around his, letting the ice pack fall out of your hands when you felt the pain seep through but ignored it when he was around, this was her person, he always has been. “ i love you too.. Don't you ever do that to me again, i got my ass kicked for you, now.. Now why don't you come inside.. We can watch a movie.. I could use a movie session with my boyfriend..”

“ boyfriend.. It's good to hear those words come out of your mouth again.. I am sorry.. Let me bandage you up again, I can help you, and maybe teach you to take care of yourself rather than letting Sarah do so.. A butterfly bandage , really? He snickered weakly and you loved that laugh, the little giggle that made your heart race so terribly fast.

[xoxo-nikki-xoxo]

Accident

Paul Lahote × female reader

Prompt number 5: "I'm sorry.... please forgive me"

It all happened so fast, him transforming. It was one stupid fight, but that one stupid fight is not only going to change who i am; its gonna change him too. Looking back on it now i don’t even know why the hell we where fighting in the first place. It was raining outside and in the heat of the moment you slapped him out of spit of course. You regret it so much. But looking at your face he probably regrets it more. When he phased you blacked out at the sight of his claws reaching put to your face, the sting pain was too much for you to handle. 

The next thing you knew was that you were being placed in the comfort of your own room. The smell of the fresh lavender calmed you down, but the aches of the cuts where still felt. You remember Sue telling you how lucky you are that you didn't lose your nose, or an eye.. There’s muffled voices coming from the next room, the words you hear are choppy, but your still able to make the words out as people spook. It had to have been your dad, Billy talking to what you could only assume would be your older and only brother Jacob. The last voice is the easiest to tell though. You wake up to his voice, its everywhere. In your dreams while sleeping, in your head. It the voice of your long term boyfriend Paul.

“ I don’t have time for this billy.... I need to see her. I know shes in here, you have to understand. I lost it for a split second, I love her. Shes my everything” I could hear him talking to what i would assume my dad and probably my brother. 

“ Maybe you should have thought about that before you clawed half my sister face off. Fuck Paul you don’t deserve her” Jacob snarled

“ shes my fucking imprint, and sense your so tough how about you prov-”

“ Enough! Paul is right... No matter how much I hate to admit it. He needs her, and she needs her to” 

Before you could even process what was happening you could hear footsteps coming your way. The house is so familiar to Paul its very easy for him to make his way into your room. You pretended to be asleep. You have no clue what to say, or what to do. You haven't even seen what your own face looks like. It cant be any better then what Emily's face looks like. The footsteps stop, hes hesitating that cant be a good sign.... You can tell, being with him for so long you have become in tuned to him. His body language, the way he talks all the way to even how he smells. All those indicators help you tell how hes feeling

knock knock

And when he comes in you don’t even have to open your eyes to know how hes feeling. Its remorse, and probably a mixture of sadness too about what he did to his imprint.

“ I’m coming in...” His voice is so weak, fragile. He has to have been beating himself up, its Paul. I know for a fact he has, see even though hes a hot head. He’s still my sweet cuddle bear. And when it comes to you hes very protective. He doesn't even let the other pack members give you a hug, expect the girls.

He opens the door after getting no response from he, he walks into the bedroom quietly. Squatting down on my side of the bed. He sniffles, has he been crying?

“ I know your probably asleep.. i just.. i don’t know what the hell happened princess.. I-i’m.*chokes on his words* i’m sorry.... please forgive me” Paul chokes out as he reaches out to gently caress you cheek that doesn't have a huge bandage over it.

“ I can never say how sorry i am that i did this.... I should have been better... for you.. i need to be better. Not so quick to let my anger get the best of me.... Please wake up princess... I need to know your okay.. I-I need to hear your voice. Ill forever be sorry to you..” Paul whispers, hes running his hand threw the lose stings of hair that are on your face. You hear him sniffle, has he been crying? probable..  By not answering part of you hopes he well get the hint and just leave. But you cant just let him leave, so you open your eye looking at him. His face lites up when he sees your “waking up”. He leans down to give you a soft kiss on the cheek.

“ ill never forgive my self for what I have done to you. You mean so much to me y/n.... words cant even descried how i feel” He’s pleading with you, and ever time he talks your heart is breaking more and more.

“ I’m sorry i started the fight..” your able to whimper out, You voice is still hoarse after the crying you did. Don’t even play your self, you look terrible just the same s he, Your eyes are puffy and your face is swollen too. His doesn't look any better. He has a black eye, from what you can only assume him and Jacob got into it after it all happened. Both his eyes are red and puffy as well.

“ sh... don’t talk if it hurts.. just can i stay here with you? i need to be by you... I’m so sorry...” He mumbles the last part again as it was probably his filth time apologizing to you.

“ stop apologizing... here lay down” You move over the best you can giving him enough room to get in bed with you. No matter how mad or angry you are, its hard to stay mad at him. Especially if hes looking like this. He needs you and well you need him to so you both can heal.

So this is how you both stay for the remainder of the day/night. He did the majority of the talking. He apologizes again more the 20 times for sure. This is going to be a major bump in your guys relationship. His temper is going to have to change and it well. He will do anything be anything for you. So if it means him having to change for the better hes going to do it. Because he loves you. No matter what you have his heart, and if he has to spend the rest of his life proving that to you. You should know damn well that he will do it.

[bubbleteaa]

The second button [Bokuto Koutarou x Reader]

the second button;; pairing: bokuto koutarou x reader, slight akaashi x reader fandom: haikyuu!! genres: angst, slight fluff word count: 1k or smth (drabble)

a/n: i want to give an special thanks to @drainedjaz​ ( @boomboomjaz​ go simp for jazz and her work pls) for beta reading and giving me recommendations <3 ily baby. also, i want to thank to the entire cheese cult just bc i love them so much and im simping so hard for them, like, a lot-. Please stay safe, drink tons of water, eat your meals and sleep at least 8 hours (do it at least for me cuz i canT AKSJHDJS)! I love you <3

Summary: You asked Bokuto for his second button after the graduation ceremony, but it was too late.

°:.   *₊        ° .   ☆     ☾　 °:.   *₊      ° . ° .•

Time goes fast. Too fast. One day you are in diapers and the next in hakama, with a diploma in your hands and looking for the second button. The button of the boy you had fallen in love with.

You smiled lightly as you searched for Bokuto, the crowds at the ceremony starting to condense as you walked down the halls. You looked for it with your gaze, which stopped when you found the boy, you looked at his back to a few second-year girls you recognized.

“Taro!” You called him without erasing your smile. Bokuto lightly turned his head towards you and gave you one of his best smiles. His smile. His smile made your knees tremble, created convulsions in your heart, confused your thoughts. You were still behind him when he answered you, the number of girls after they saw you started to decrease.

He didn't talk until the last one left.

“Hey hey hey! Y/N-chan” he smiled, fixing his clothes and his hair. His smile was different from that of other days, his eyes shone with an intensity that he only dedicated to volleyball “We graduated!” He laughed, turning around fully to face you.

Your eyes were glued to his face, his expression of joy. You wanted to see his expression over and over for the rest of your life. You wanted to be able to see him grow as a professional, you wanted to help him, encourage him, love him, and shower him with words, kisses, hugs.

You loved him. So much.

“Yes” you replied, closing your eyes and smiling at him “Congratulations, Koutarou” you took his free hand and squeezed it a little. Bokuto acted as always before you displayed affection, he only corresponded “You did a good job, you are too cool, I am very happy” you swallowed to open your eyes and look him in the eyes “Uh..., I wanted to ask you something”

“Uh, what's going on Y/N-chan?” before the compliments, the boy with golden eyes looked at you with emotion “What's wrong? What's up?"

The love you felt for Bokuto was different from the one you had with any other boy you met before, it was not the same, it was not even close to being the same. Bokuto was different. It was special. He was someone who was always there for you, regardless of time or place. Someone who always gave you love, hugged you, caused you things you never thought you would feel.

Your love for Bokuto made you weak.

“I like you, Taro. Like, I have like you for a long, long time. I wanted to ask you if you could give me your second button” the words came out softly, a deep pink sneaked down your cheeks while you did not break eye contact with Bokuto. The grip of his hand with yours tightened a little, nervously.

“Ah...”

You blinked slightly confused when Bokuto released your hand and scratched the back of his neck. He avoided looking at you. At his action, your gaze began to slide down the features of his face, then down his neck to reach his shirt. Your heart began to beat strongly and quickly, your head began to process things slowly, your knees weakened, threatening to touch the ground.

His second button was missing.

His second button did not belong to you.

“I gave Rin-chan my button” his tone started to drop as if he was scared of hurting you “I really like her...”

Your ears stopped listening to his words, your lips trembled strongly. You shook your head, trying to push out negative emotions. You had to be happy for him. You had to be strong for him.

Bokuto had always been strong for you.

“Ah!” you said, closing your eyes and waving your hands nervously “I understand, don't worry, Bokuto!” you denied again, without opening your eyes “You must be very happy. Rin-chan is very pretty”

“Yeah…”

“I should go, Bokuto. Good luck” the last words were said softly, but they were loaded with sadness and pain. A bittersweet taste appeared on your lips "I love you very much"

Before he could answer you, you bowed to him and left.

Time goes fast. One day you have your heart beating for someone and at other, it's broken. One day you use dresses and you look beautiful in them, and at others, you wear a hakama that covers your whole body full of sadness.

You walked differently than how you walked when you wanted to be in his arms, how you wanted to jump and kiss his lips, how you walked when you were with him.

You weren't walking, you were running away.

You left through the main entrance to the building where the ceremony was taking place. Your breathing seemed to catch for every breath you took, your heartbeat that hurt, weighed, hitting the inside of your chest with so much force that you did not recognize if you were being beaten or you only had a broken heart. Your breathing quickened, it seemed to be following the pace of your heart. The same one that was aching and felt heavier than usual. It pounded with force against your chest that you weren’t sure if it was due to the running or because it shattered to pieces.

Little tiny pieces.

He does not love you.

“Y/N-san, congratulations”

Akaashi didn't know that your eyes could look so sad. He had never seen you cry, yes, he had seen you discouraged a few times, the way they looked so dull and broken, he could not ignore it. He couldn't ignore how sad you looked, worse when he knew why.

But he does.

“Akaashi -kun” you gave him a small cordial smile, his eyebrows furrowed slightly when you closed your eyes, small tears ran down your face "Thank you very much"

Akaashi's arms were not as huge as Bokuto's. They were not so muscular, so shocking, so strong. They did not look alike. They could not be compared.

But the hug he gave you, the hug that shook your whole body the moment you burst into tears in front of him reminded you of the hugs the gray-haired boy with black gave you whenever they won a game. It was a hug full of emotions, not joy or sorrow, emotions intertwined with feelings that could not be expressed in words.

As you broke into Akaashi's chest, you realized he didn't have a second button either.

“I know it shouldn't be me, but I'll give it to you, I want to give it to you, Y/N-san” he said softly, handing you the button while looking you in the eye “Please, accept it”

The second button is the one that is closest to the heart. It is the one that can feel the most as the muscular organ inside your chest flutters and calms down when you are close to the person you love.

The second button is your heart.

And that day, yours got broken, just to receive another one.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧

c h e s s e  c u l t: @akaashichigo​ @drainedjaz​ @haikkeiji​ @annalyn-annalyn​ @mlkytobio​ @sosugasweet​ @cali-writes-sometimes​  @simping4ratsumu​ @shishinoya​ @ushiwakaa​ @from-left-to-write​ @akaashit-baeji​  @kxgeyamasmilk​ @agaassi​ @hanibuni​ @cupofkenma​  @kawanisshi​ @milkandc00kiez​ @thiccbokuto​ @shinsukestan​ @sufiawrites​ @wakaitoshi​ @skyguy-peach​ @fern-writes-ig​ @briswriting​ @airybby​ @kawaiikraykray​ @miyuswriting​ @raevaioli​ @ouikarwa​ (wifey ily sm pls marry me again <3) @hakueishirei​ @hanibuni​

also please check out their work, they r legit so fucking good and every single one needs more recognition. Please<3

[lewismonochromepepper]

(viviskull) 💭 *Lets see how this man drowned*

Send me a “💭“ and your Muse will experience one of my Muse’s Memories

((Heyo it gets a lil intense so be careful!))

@viviskull

Mono had been asleep for the past few hours. Curled into his corner of the living room - despite having been given a space for him to sleep on the couch - wrapped in one of their many quilts. His knees were drawn up and wrapped in a hug close to his chest... Not the weirdest position, since Mono typically nodded off while curled into some sort of ball. What was weird, was how much noise he was making. Sparky was prepared to leave him be and return to bed when Mono’s breath suddenly hitched. 

The gray spirit’s teeth ground together to the point where Sparky could hear its whine, followed by a tight gasping that became a pant. 

The crease in Sparky’s features deepened, and he reaches out, lightly brushing his palm against Mono’s shoulder.

He wasn’t in his home anymore, instead, he’s staring at a pile of mud he just stepped in and surrounded by shadow

Theres a chitter of laughter, and Sparky lifts his gaze to Vivi, who had a smirk on her face, lifting her own foot to show that she also made a similar mistake. Her torch glimmered beside her head, and Sparky’s grip tightens on his own- his torch smoked lightly from something dripping from above them. Onto their shoulders. Sparky’s heart thrummed something fierce as he lifts his head.

Above him, stalactites, dripping with an almost greenish slime and reflecting their fire, adding jagged depths that Sparky would much rather not have seen. A cave. They’re in a cave. Why does it look like this?

“Why of all the places,” Arthurs voice pulls him from the thought, “it had to be the slip n’ slide from hell.” He grumbles, wiping droplets of slime from his hair and shoulders. Vivi cackled a laugh, and Sparky felt like he should too, but he doesn’t even make a peep.

He can’t feel... anything. Like his chest had been hollowed out and every thought silenced, replaced by the drip, drip, drip and rushing of some sort of current. 

“Well, if you want to get out so bad, we should hurry it up. Shall we?” Sparky nods thoughtlessly, turning his head to the familiar split in the road to their left. Mystery was sniffing carefully, scrutinizing the molded boards. A thin layer of fog drifting all around it, leading to the left where it grew and to the right where it slid down to some sort of bottom. 

A hand brushes his bicep, and he cant stop himself from flinching. Arthur jolts as well. “R-ready to get this over with, big guy?”

A nod. Silent steps to the left. Vivi and Arthur exchange a wave and fish out their walkie-talkies for good measure, before Vivi vanishes into the entrance of the lower path. Arthur’s foot steps scramble after his, and his fingers catch Sparky’s sleeves. 

“You okay?” 

No response, hardly a grunt. Sparky could feel the bags under his eyes as his face twists into something almost sympathetic, meeting Arthur's worried gaze. It doesn’t look right on him. He shouldn’t be doing this.

Despite the lack of response, Arthur nodded. “Episode, then? Shit... let’s get this over and done with then, one quick look around. Then we can heat up some leftovers and pop in a few CD’s to watch. That sound good?” Arthur lightly squeezes his hand- when did that get there? 

Nonetheless, Sparky nods without thinking, and his cheeks hurt as his lips pull back into a soft smile. Then, a croaky, “Okay.” 

The further they walked, the louder the drips became. It echoes in Sparky’s ears and his grip tightens on the torch while a swirl of annoyance grew. Jaw stiffening. God, I hate that noise. Arthur must have noticed, because theres another squeeze, and Sparky nearly pulls it away. 

The fog and slime seemed to grow the further in they got, and it became more of a struggle to not step in any slippery pitfalls. The two of them keep caution and hook each others elbows, with Lewis holding the torch high and Arthur shining a flashlight across the surfaces. The fog only grew, and they pass through it. 

Sparky’s eyes drift to Arthur, to a jagged part of the wall just a few steps away. What if I grabbed him by his hair and smashed his fa-

What. What kind of thought is that? Keep going. 

I would never do that. I don’t want to do that. 

I would never. 

Sparky repeats the mantra in his head, hoping to shove down the guilt bubbling in his stomach. Arthur, oblivious, does pause to look back. “Mystery? Why are you following us? You’re supposed to be with Vivi...” Arthur unhooks their arms, and undoubtedly shines the beacon on the dog’s face. His voice became a mix of muffled and echos.

No matter, Sparky kept walking ahead. The ground was even more slippery the farther he went, but Sparky kept going into the overwhelming darkness- a hole, perchance? Why can’t he see much of it-? 

His breath catches in his throat, foot catching on something and nearly sending him forward... 

A cliff. Sparky lowers his torch, and sure enough, he found himself at a ledge. The ground- water? - was shone upon by Vivi’s flashlight, just beneath him. He could make out her blue form among the dank greens, and his breath catches in his throat when she turns up and waves at him. She shines the light on his legs, and then back to the water. 

From up here, it was entirely black, although Vivi traced several stalagmites jutting out from under the surface. Ones Sparky could barely make out until she had done so... 

He couldn’t tear his gaze away from the drop. The pool of water was directly beneath them... 

What if I just jump? 

Sparky blinks slowly, a tightness restricting his lungs, and he swallows anxiously as he continues to stare at the still water.

I can jump right now, and maybe nothing will happen, or maybe, maybe I’ll die.

“Lewis?”

Arthur’s voice. Sparky glances behind him. 

His heart drops. 

There’s a smear of green, and Arthur’s face is contorted and shadowed. His hand is reaching out, it looks dark and sickly. Reaching for him-

“P-please-” Arthurs voice rasps, but its not his, his eyes are black. Black and green. 

Arthur lunges, and Sparky’s torch drops. He winds his hands back, and it one quick motion, Arthurs thrown back. Another lurch, and Sparky’s heart pummels. Adrenaline soaring, he did the first thing he thought of, and kicks Arthur back. This time Arthur folds, something’s behind him. Something large and gleaming. Something. What is that-

Sparky cant stop shaking. Backing up. Backing away. Until the ground before him is drenched and his soles can’t keep him steady. Over the ledge. 

Over the ledge. The stalactites smiling down as him as his own hands claw at nothing. His stomach and lungs pushing up and gravity slamming him down. The ledge vanishes, a crash of water erupts in his eardrums and nothing saves him from his body being swallowed. 

Pain. Pain. A sharp, crackling sensation tears through him. Its both dull and sharp, and Sparky’s mouth opens to release the scream ripping through him. Something swarms in. Small bits flood his mouth and eyes. Dark greens swish around him, and his heart beats painfully against something hard and jagged and refusing to offer any relief. 

The stabs stretch his flesh, pressure builds under his ribs before snapping. Sparky’s eyes feel as if they’ll pop from the desperation of his mind. He wanted out, he needed to gte out, swim to the surface, escape, breathe-!

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t, something’s touching him, stretching him open, ripping him open. Long, feathery snakes dance in his view among dots of white and red and copper, and they coil around him. Yank him further. And Further. And further until the pain explodes into fire and is swallowed by the dark fluid.

His ears roar and scream, and it fills his head and clashes along racing thoughts. He’s being pulled and its not to the surface, only deeper.

How was he even awake right now? A small thought asks, and somehow his vision clears the smallest bit. His limbs were weak, and the strain didn’t stop. His gaze shifts and stares up-

Something blue crashes into the water. Somehow, somehow he knows what it is.

Vivi. Her blue sleeves clawing out, her voice lost in the bubbles of the current. She was reaching, reaching out for him, how. How.

The snakes, threads of plant life notice her as well. Dark straps stabbing into her, wrapped around, pulling her down-

No…

Something else dives into the water. It snags the blue and in one quick motion she’s gone, the green dangling there helplessly before sinking back to the depths.

He couldn't breathe. The swarms kept flying into his mouth and eyes and ears. He kept being stretched until pressure broke and pain shot out of him like a fireworks.

And then it was over. Finally.

No more stank and filth, but just a soft scent of febreeze in the air.

Sparky's hand sits on Mono's shoulder, and finally he can feel the fast trembling. Mono's eyes meet his, and Sparky is met with a twisted look of anguish and pain.

"G-go, go away." Mono pleads, voice raspy and quiet and scared.

[sweetbookreader]

Still Hurting

Alastair had never described himself as a coward. He had always proudly stated to be the type that didn’t run away from his problems, choosing to face them head on instead. 

That day, however, he could declare that he was bravely running from his home and his sister’s friends. 

Cordelia Carstairs, young and promising Shadowhunter, his Layla, James Herondale’s bride to be. He had contrasting thoughts on the matter. He didn’t hate James, nor his family, he never had. But he’d spent so much time ablaze with jealousy as he laughed with his friends or parents, that it seemed weird that they were going to be brothers-in-law. 

And he hated being indebted. Alastair wasn’t stupid, it had been clear since the beginning that the young Herondale had only taken Cordelia’s hand in marriage to save her from a scandal that would’ve ruined her. 

Yet being grateful to him and bearing their cheerful celebrations were very different things.

Most of all, he was tired of the hostile glances he received when he walked in on their conversations. 

Seeing the rage in their eyes made him shake. So, often enough he spent his nights in his room cursing himself for having been so selfish and stupid. For having said things he didn’t even mean. 

He deserved this and so much worse. He couldn’t blame any of them for their behavior.  

Naturally, this didn’t make the situation any easier to face. 

Alastair sighed for what must’ve been the twentieth time that night. 

Every time he left the house those thoughts crowded his mind and left it aching. 

He didn’t want to go back home, he really didn’t. But he couldn’t run away forever. After all, his sisters friends would stay until late into the night to celebrate James and Cordelias’ approaching wedding. 

Slowly, he began making his way home. It was winter, and a cold breeze shook the few leaves left on the forests trees. Their rustle accompanied him to the Carstairs’ home. 

He could hear the young and excited voices from outside the house. 

Attempting to make as little noise as possible, he opened the heavy door and made way into the warm house. Mother had probably lit the fireplace to warm their guests. 

He quickly began heading towards his bedroom, strategically avoiding Cordelia and her friends. But her laughter stopped him in his tracks as he walked past. 

A small smile curved his lips. Layla’s voice was filled with joy. She seemed so happy. He could picture her with her flaming red hair, which she was so proud of, with the dresses of flamboyant colors she had begun wearing when they’d arrived in London. 

His sister was radiant. Alastair promised himself not to ruin her happiness with what he’d done. 

As he climbed the stairs he realized how tired he was, both mentally and physically. It seemed a miracle when he reached his room on his feet. He locked the door behind himself, coming to rest on it. Eyes fluttering closed and a sigh escaping his lips. All he wanted was to curl up in the bed in the hopes that his worries wouldn’t follow him into his dreams. 

“Cordelia told me you’d left. I was awaiting your return.” 

Alastair may have been exhausted but he was still a shadowhunter. All of his fatigue abandoned him at once, and with quick movement his seraph blade was in his hand and pointed at the stranger sat on his bed. 

Blade that immediately cluttered to the ground, powering down as it left Alastair`s surprised grip. 

Thomas Lightwood eyed every inch of him with an inscrutable expression on his face. 

Alastair felt naked under his inquisitorial gaze. His heart beat impossibly fast and he couldn’t quite tell if it was because of his surprise or the nervousness of being in the same room with Thomas. Alone, with Thomas. 

The young Carstairs was favoring the second option. 

He swallowed before finding his voice again. 

“You should be downstairs”. His voice didn’t convey surety. Thomas’s gaze was intense as it slowly moved to Alastair’s arms. 

“I think we should speak,” he declared. Alastair lowered his gaze. He was tired and cold. He couldn’t hold any type of conversation, much less one of such importance. 

“Now is not the time.” He muttered, trying and failing at keeping his voice steady. Horrified, he noticed he was shaking. 

“No. We’re doing this now.”

Thomas’s voice was hard and cold, making Alastair wince. He had felt uneasy ever since their last conversation a couple months life earlier. It hadn’t gone well. 

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” he began, still leaning on the door. He didn’t dare move closer to the other boy. “I know you’re mad—“

“I’m not mad, Alastair” Thomas interrupted, crossing his legs. “I’m furious.” A pause before adding, quietly: “And disappointed.”

Alastair’s throat went dry. Fists curled at his side as he pressed closer to the door. His eyes closed once more as he tried to string together a response. 

“I know,” was all he could say. 

Thomas was quiet. Silence rained upon the room until Alastair could hear his own accelerated heartbeat. 

“I never meant to hurt anyone.” 

“And yet.” Thomas’s voice was so detached, so far from the one he’d known in Paris. He studied him carefully. 

When he really thought about it, he seemed a completely different person from that of Paris. 

Where was that kind and timid boy? Alastair had killed him. 

How much time had even passed? He couldn’t remember. 

“It wasn’t my intention,” his voice shook so violently that he considered running out. 

“You thought you’d hurt no one with what you said.” It was barely a question, sarcasm brimming in every word. Alastair started at the floor with no response. 

“I’ve always defended you,” emotion made way into his words, but the anger in them made Alastair wish Thomas would turn back to apathy. “When Math said you were a horrible person and I denied it. When I told him it was only a bad impression. I was so wrong.”

Shame kept his eyes from meeting Thomas’s. 

“Thomas..”

“I believed in you!” His voice raised, and the past tense reached deep within Alastair. “I’ve defended you, I’ve excused you and you— you lied! By the angel, what else am I supposed to be if not angry, Alastair? Do tell me.” He left no time for an answer. “I look at you and I all I want is to hit you.” 

The words stung worse than any wound he’d endured. Alastair could feel his heart shatter with every sentence out of the other boys mouth. He deserved all of it, and that acknowledgement was the only thing keeping him quiet. 

His eyes stung with unshed tears. He shut them to keep them there. 

He heard the bed groan as Thomas stood, and his footsteps until they were centimeters away. 

 

His heart was beating out of his chest. 

“I don’t want to hear your motivations. I don’t care. Whatever happened, Alastair, it gave you no right to do or say any of it.” 

Alastair opened his eyes but kept them trained to the floor. It was a bad idea, he realized too late. It only made him aware of how close they were. 

He drew in a deep breath, trying to regain control. 

“I wasn’t thinking.” he whispered, suddenly appreciating the different shades of brown that made up his bedroom floor. 

“You should have. You hurt people. It’s on you Matthew can’t stay away from the bottle. It’s on you my mother cries herself to sleep every night. You hurt my family. You hurt me.” 

His voice was furious and Alastair could no longer keep his eyes dry. 

He breathed deeply, mad at himself. Mad at his father. Mad at his mother. Mad at Thomas, here to throw his mistakes in his face. As if he didn’t know them by heart. 

He knew he’d been wrong. He wanted to do better, to be better. He wanted forgiveness from those he’d wronged, and knew he’d have to earn it. Thomas was only worsening his mood, making his already enormous guilt grow. 

“I cant change the past, the angel knows I want to. I’m trying. I’m trying not to make those mistakes again.” A deep breath. “So why are you here to remind me? Trying to hurt me like I hurt you?”

Alastair quieted, his throat aching with unshed tears. He swallowed, finally finding the courage to meet Thomas’s gaze. His eyes were somewhere between desire and rage. 

“A wonderful turnout if that’s it,” he murmured, as a single rebellious test slid down his cheek. Many followed. 

He turned his head away, furiously rubbing his eyes in the attempt to stop them. 

A sob escaped him nonetheless. He covered his mouth immediately, desperate to get a hold of himself. But the dam had broken, and all the guilt and rage that had built during those past months, years, came rushing out. 

He covered his face with his hands, shame filling him. 

“Just leave.” Alastair sobbed, trying to get past Thomas. It seemed to be harder than expected, either because of his own miserable conditions or Thomas’s strong build. 

Alastair was so exhausted and under shock that it took him several seconds to register the strong arms wrapped around his body. 

He tried to free himself, but Thomas held fast and at the second attempt he brought one hand to the nape of his neck. 

Finally, he relaxed, his head coming to rest on Thomas’s chest as another sobbed escaped his lips. His knuckles turned white around the fabric of Thomas’s shirt 

Thomas stroked his hair gently, his chin on the other boys head. He seemed small in his arms. 

“I’m still furious,” he murmured near his ear. 

Alastairs next sob resembled a laugh, and he buried his face deeper in Thomas’s chest. 

“I know,” he replied, before comfortable silence overtook the room. 

And when Cordelia’s began saying goodbye downstairs, it was deep into the night. 

Thomas hadn’t joined them.