#nct johnny fluff

[blondiedae]

dry house, wet clothes

𓍯𓂃𓂃𓂃 dry house, wet clothes

pairing. johnny suh x afab!reader x jeong jaehyun genre. angst, fluff, eventual smut, slow burn (for jaehyun), friends to lovers (for johnny) warnings. swearing, mentions of drinking, kissing, smut tags will be added when it applies. big miscommunication trope, it is what it is. it’s so much angst i’m so sorry word count. 9,721

plot. the four of you have spent years building the world around you, your friendship, your weekends together hidden in jaehyun’s loft. you, mark, johnny and jaehyun. shaking the foundation of that by being in love with your best friend, jaehyun, is a risk you’ve never been confident enough to take. but, johnny suh is confident and johnny suh has been known to shake the world around you.

other’s mentioned. slight himbo mark lee <3, various other nct members (eventually)

author’s note. it’s taken me two years to write this. this is only part one/chapter one, so hold tight for updates! hopefully i’ll be able to post every monday, but we’ll see! enjoy part one :)

taglist (open). @xiaojunsdino

playlist. here !

You woke up to the sound of rain on the roof from above and, from the corner of the room, soft music coming out like a whisper from a forgotten speaker. You were tangled in him and him and him. One arm looped in his, your head resting on his shoulder, his head on your stomach; three sets of staggered snores mingling, mixing with the tap tap tap of raindrops, the guitars and synths and drums of the music to create a familiar symphony.

A fall morning in the loft.

The glass panes of the roof, the ones installed three summers before, swept the raindrops away and down off the side of the house. They found the glass of the windows there, slipping, slipping, slipping to continue their descent to the gutter, then the ground. You watched, idle hands in his hair, tangled in a mess of loose curls.

The music hiccuped, a new song began. You blinked, eyes still too bleary, mind still in a state close to sleep, close to numb. He didn’t move, neither did he or he. Save for the rain and your fingertips, everything remained still. It was your most cherished time; not silence, but comfortable and quiet chaos amongst them.

The world wouldn’t move if you didn’t, you’d convinced yourself, if they didn’t.

So, you would stay still until his shoulder shifted beneath your heavy head. Until he’d grumbled something, in a voice laced with sleep and worn from the night before, about the weight. He didn’t actually mind, and he would never tell you, but he found nights when your head didn’t keep his shoulder in place to be restless.

You wouldn’t budge until he flexed his hand, let the stretch of his fingers move up to his forearm, his bicep, his shoulder to pull away from you. He always worried he got too close, always worried he’d taken up too much of your space. Any space you sacrificed was worth seeing his sleepy smile when he said, “Good morning.”

You would hold your breath, control it and calm it and monitor every yawn, until he lifted his head without opening his eyes and smiled, broad and brilliant. Only then would you stretch your aching bones and wake yourself fully.

This stage, this limbo in the rain and the early morning light that tried to break through it, was too precious to surrender.

You counted the seconds between snores, hummed lightly to the music and recounted the evening before; the bottles, the unbridled laughter, more bottles and the stars. Always the stars, always above you, always shining.

The memories of the night mixed and warped with your dreams, in your willfully sleepy state it was too hard to discern between the two. Counting stars: memory. Running, running, running: dream. His fingertips tracing constellations into the skin of your arm: memory. No, dream.

You looked at him, soft and snoring in a pile of blankets, pillows and limbs intertwining. He moved first, one by one his fingers let go of yours and stretched as wide as possible. He rolled his wrist and pulled his fingers back into a fist, letting them crack. As soon as he had let go, his fingers slipped back between yours and held tight, as they had all night. He unraveled every part of his body still holding onto you, a sigh leaving his lips when he was done.

You didn’t know if he knew you were looking, awake and waiting, but he took his time.

You let him.

When he opened his eyes, the very last step in his stirring, he saw you. Your faces had inched closer together in the night, and after you’d both turned your heads there was little space left. He didn’t flinch even the slightest, only blinked and mumbled, “Am I crowding you?”

You squeezed his hand, “You’re not.”

Jaehyun smiled, scooting back a bit anyway but not letting go; never letting go, “Good morning.”

You didn’t say it back, you didn’t have the chance to. He wiggled his shoulder underneath your head while his feet pushed the blankets covering him from his body. Johnny groaned through a yawn, “I can’t feel my arm.”

“Good.” You laughed.

“Good.” He mocked, lifting up your head and rolling out from under you. He sat up, arms stretched out wide, up and up and up towards the slipping raindrops and back down. Rolling his head back once, twice, he looked at you, “Good morning.”

“Good morning, everyone.” He lifted his head, a lazy grin warming the determined gloom of the morning. He rested his chin on your stomach, patting his fingers lazily on the sliver of exposed skin there, “How’d you sleep?”

You grinned back, ruffling his hair. He was the youngest of the four of you and it showed, especially in the morning when his face was swollen and round, “Just fine. How about you, Mark?”

Mark’s answer came out more like a grunt as he rolled over away from you and stretched, “I could have used a pillow. Johnny took all of them.”

“I had two of them.” Johnny disagreed, “Jaehyun had one under his feet.”

“Because I was half on the mattress and half on the floor.” Jaehyun laughed. His thumb rubbed circles on the back of your hand, the other arm flopped over his eyes like the conversation had already worn him out enough to sleep again, “What time is it?.”

“I don’t know where my phone is.” You grumbled, writhing and wriggling your bones awake, now that Mark wasn’t resting on you. You squeezed Jaehyun’s hand before letting go, pushing yourself to sit up.

Jaehyun lifted his arm, only briefly, to look at you. His hand suddenly felt cold, felt empty, felt like the morning that greeted the four of you. He covered his eyes once more, flexing his fingers again before putting his newly free hand over his heart.

“Your stomach grumbles a lot when you sleep. Did you know that?” Mark poked at your stomach, a sleepy but content grin on his face. You smacked his hand away, he yawned, “Does mine do that?”

His yawn was contagious, but you answered through your own, “I don’t know, Mark. We’ll switch spots next time and I’ll find out.”

“Absolutely not.” Johnny chided, “Mark’s head is bigger than yours.”

“Then we’ll rotate.”

“Why would we rotate?”

You tilted your head, “Why wouldn’t we rotate?”

“I don’t want his drool on me.”

Mark grumbled, slipping on his sweatshirt, “I don’t drool.”

“He doesn’t drool.”

Johnny said, “Of course he drools.”

Mark nudged you, “I don’t drool, do I?”

“Not on me.” You assured him.

Jaehyun sighed, loudly and exaggerated and cutting off your temporary tiff with Johnny, “I still don’t know what time it is, but I know it’s too early for this.”

Johnny stood up first, picking up his phone and the speaker. He didn’t make any changes to the music - soft, melancholy but in a way that felt comfortable- he only brought the speaker closer, to the edge of the large mattress in the middle of the floor, “It’s nine o’clock.”

“I have to get home.” Mark yawned.

Johnny pocketed his phone, “Me too. Are we doing something later?”

He waited for an answer that was inevitable. A nod from Jaehyun, a noncommittal shrug from Mark, a thumbs up from you. All three came in a ripple, which was enough for Johnny to stand up again and gather his things. Mark followed, the two of them scuffling around the mess, the mattress, each other. Jaehyun scooted until he was fully on the mattress and you wondered, as you always did, why he always sacrificed his comfort in his own home.

“Mark, text me when you get home.” You raised your hand to cup around your mouth, calling out over the thundering rain booming through the open door. Mark was halfway out the door, but he nodded. Johnny waited and waited and expectantly waited, “You too, John.”

Then they were gone; backpack and a jacket over their heads, boisterous and bouncing down the stairs of the loft, scampering down the street. Not slipping like the raindrops, but stomping through the puddles. You watched them as long as you could, as long as they were in your line of sight from the mattress, not ready to move yet. It took a moment, but a layer of fog took over the window and their usually towering bodies turned into specks. You looked away, then. Looked at Jaehyun, looked at the mess. You flopped back down on the mattress, a quiet huff of air slipping past your lips.

The rain came down; it didn’t break, it didn’t offer the morning a chance to breathe.

You could feel Jaehyun next to you, his shoulder just barely touching yours. The silence that didn’t dare interrupt your symphony finally crept in, the rain persisted, but the music and the snoring were long gone. Still, neither one of you moved. It was you and it was Jaehyun and it was your mixed breathing and the rain.

“Jae.”

“Hm.” He hummed, arm lifting once more to peek at you. The way your eyes were shut, the way your face twisted in loops and loops of thought - only some of which you’d ever say out loud. He watched you, he watched the rain on the window behind you, he watched the breath you took in and then he urged, “What is it?”

Your head turned, eyes opening to meet him how you had when he woke up, “Hand.”

Neither one of you had to reach far, neither one of you hesitated. Jaehyun waited, patiently, for whatever you had to say, whatever willed your lips to move and say his name. You watched him, thoughtful and quiet, trying to remember if the touch you felt was based on reality or a dream. You begged your own mind to remember if the slight burning on your arm, the comfortable fire beneath your skin, was from Jaehyun tracing Orion, Draco, Andromeda, Cygnus as you fell asleep.

After a while, you shook your head and looked skyward - back to the rain, “You’re my best friend.”

He nodded, repeated your actions and words, “You’re my best friend.”

“Do you ever feel nostalgic for the times that it was just the two of us up here?” You laughed, squeezing his hand. He’d take it as a joke and you meant it as a joke. Even having known a life before, you could not and did not want to imagine one without Johnny and Mark. So much of who the four of you were was rooted in each other, your coexistence. Still, you sighed, “Do you ever miss it?”

Jaehyun took a moment. He replied, “It’s just the two of us right now. There’s always time for that, always will be. So, no. But, the mattress did seem bigger, then.”

You laughed. He loved the sound, so he laughed too.

Like the sun was waiting for that cue, that sound to latch on to and pull itself through the clouds, it shone. Bright, much brighter than the stars, and filling the room for as long as the break in clouds would allow. A brief intermission of light.

You both watched the beams of sunlight; how they kissed the walls, the floorboards. You both thought about those times, the memories that seemed like a lifetime ago; the loft in its infancy, the loft on your tenth birthday and his eleventh and your twelfth. Jaehyun’s dad putting up a tent in the middle of the room on nights when weather conditions were poor and you both were so determined; persistent like the rain. You thought of reading, strewn across the mattress stealing glances at Jaehyun while he played a melody on the keyboard in the corner. He thought of the same melody, any melody, every melody; how you’d hum along to the ones you knew, ask him about the ones you didn’t, move to the music either way.

You both thought. It was easier to just think, to remember. You were too tired, still, to move and make new memories. A quiet moment was just as nice, between the two of you.

“I think I’m still tired.” You told him.

He said, “You were stirring a lot.”

“I’m sorry, Jae.”

“You don’t need to be.” He reached over his head, to the spot where Johnny’s head had been resting on two pillows and grabbed for them both. Jaehyun put one under his head, offering the other to you, “Go back to sleep for a while. We’ve got time.”

So, you did. Your fingers wrapped around the pillow, but you dropped it behind you - a safety net if you rolled away - and scooted closer to Jaehyun. He breathed out a laugh, looping his arm around you and holding onto your waist. One of your hands wrapped around his waist, fingers stroking his side lazily and the other held your own heart, willing it to beat softer, slower, inconspicuously. With his free hand, he pulled a blanket over the two of you. Jaehyun didn’t lift his hand, only started tracing patterns into your skin; Orion, Draco, Andromeda, Cygnus. Constellations: memory.

“The stars aren’t out.” You mumbled, already drifting.

Jaehyun pressed a kiss to your forehead, “Sleep.”

He held his lips there, unmoving but gently resting. You could feel every small twitch, every breath. The tips of his fingers brushed your skin again, lazy strokes that ignited a calm, comfortable fire just below. Your body shuddered and you hoped Jaehyun didn’t notice. He wouldn’t say it, if he did. The hand on your heart clenched, tensed, grasped for a gentler beat. It didn’t come, it wouldn’t let up.

You fell asleep hearing two hearts beating, loudly, against the chests that held them; yours and Jaehyun’s.

📻

When you woke up for the second time, two things were missing: the rain and Jaehyun.

The sun wasn’t as gentle as the rain had been, waking you up; it was almost violent the way it pried at your eyes, relentless warmth and brightness filling the now silent room. You rustled the blankets Jaehyun had piled on you, pulling yourself up to sit, desperate for any sound. The mess from the night had been tidied, swept away. You swept away the rest of the sleep from your eyes and let out a breath.

You could still feel his kiss on your forehead. It was something so common, so standard for Jaehyun to kiss that exact spot, or your temple, or the top of your head. You’d do the same to him; his cheeks, his nose, pulling him down or standing on your toes to reach the rest. Today, it was another spot on your flesh that burned and burned and burned.

You stood, picking your phone up from the ground just to the right of the mattress. Every inch of your body resisted movement, it fought against you as you stretched upwards, outwards.

The door to the loft opened, “I brought you coffee.”

You looked at him, over your shoulder with a smile he might always adore. Meeting him halfway, you took your drink from him and mumbled, “Thank you.”

“They want to go to a movie later.” Jaehyun told you, “Johnny said something scary.”

Nodding, you took a sip, “How does Mark feel about that?”

Jaehyun only pulled a face; a wince.

You snorted, “What time?”

Jaehyun shrugged, you nodded a second time. Silence filled the room again; a moment to breathe, to let the breeze from the open door cool your forehead, your arms, your mind. You wanted to stand in silence in the autumn air, eyes closed, arms out, just breathing.

You wanted to ask Jaehyun if he felt it too. You’d never had a reason to hide something from him, you’d never been anything but honest with each other. You looked up at him, he looked anywhere but directly at you; sipping, sipping, sipping and breathing. Even if you had the courage, how could you ask him so outright?

You’re my best friend. You always reminded him and he wasn’t the one who needed reminding. You’re my best friend and every time you touch me, I fall apart.

You’re my best friend and every time you look at me all I can think about is your lips, your hands, your - Breathe. You had to breathe. Do you feel it, too?

Gathering your things, sipping your coffee, you said nothing. Jaehyun said nothing, but stood and watched. He stayed silent and you stayed silent. Then you were heading towards the door.

You decided to read him, you’d always been good at that and words were lost, so lost. So, you mumbled a quick goodbye, something about errands, something about seeing him later. With your hand on the doorknob, ready to swing it closed, you turned.

“Jae?” He looked up, smiling - he always smiled like that, “Hand.”

There were only a few steps between you, he overtook that space easily, quickly. Jaehyun laced his fingers with yours, squeezing your hand in his and watching you. Stepping towards him, you swallowed - it had to sound like a gulp, deep and panicked and caught in your throat. You didn’t look up at him, just at your hands, until you raised your head and kissed him. Just the corner of his lips, where they were upturned still, in a smile. A comfortable place between cheek and lips that would surely throw him, if he felt anything like you did.

A peck, a second of contact, felt like an eternity.

You pulled back, watching and waiting for him to do anything, to say anything, to falter and show that he felt anything.

Jaehyun squeezed your hand again: same grin, same grin, same simple, unfaltering grin. He let go and said, “Get home safe. I’ll see you later.”

You nodded, composure surprising you, mind racing. Still, you smiled, mirroring him and letting go of his hand to ruffle his hair, “I’ll see you later, Jae.”

Then you left.

You left, so you didn’t feel how his hands, his body, his heart tensed, then released, shaking. You left so you didn’t see how his face, ears and chest turned red, how he managed to keep it at bay until you’d closed the door. You left, so you didn’t see Jaehyun run his fingers through his hair, pacing and pacing and pacing around the loft, breathing in huffs because he was feeling something that he thought he shouldn’t. You left, so you didn’t hear him curse and groan and yell into his fist until he was hoarse. You left, so you missed all the signs you needed, his hand gently on the corner of his lips, because he was burning.

He willed himself to blame the coffee for the warmth he felt in his hands, in his chest, from his head to his toes. He didn’t want to think about how it was you that caused it. Jaehyun wouldn’t think or say that you were the source of every last bit of warmth he felt, since he met you. He would just sit, for the hours that stretched on and on until he saw you again, and think about how you’d say, “You’re my best friend.”

📻

When you stepped out of your house, next, the sun was setting. Most days, you’d considered the loss of daylight a curse, hating how early the sun went away in the colder months. Today, the sunset was stunning enough to make you forget. Streaks of vibrant orange chased at the softened blue of the day, hurrying it away and tucking the sun in for the night. For a moment, you stood on your doorstep in complete awe.

The vibrant sunset almost felt like an apology for the gloomy morning.

“There you are.” Your heart and stomach switched places for a second, his voice pulling you out of your trance, “Can I walk you?”

Johnny was at your gate, hands in his pockets. He smiled at you, as he always did, like he was moments away from teasing you. You let out a rush of air you’d gasped in and trapped in your lungs, “That was fucking horrifying, Johnny.”

He countered, “Pay more attention.”

“You were hidden.”

“No, I wasn’t.”

“Did you walk all the way here? From your house?”

“I took a bus.”

“You could’ve texted me.”

“It’s less romantic that way.”

Your eyebrow raised, “You’re trying to be romantic?”

“Not if you keep looking at me like that.” Something like shock, something like confusion. Definitely not the look he wanted to see on someone’s face when he was flirting. Johnny adjusted the beanie on his head, “You want to know something?”

You laughed, “Are you going to tell me even if I say no?”

He took a moment, looking at you but not speaking. So, you took a moment and did the same. It didn’t take long, in the suspended silence, for you to see Johnny was being serious. You’d blame not noticing sooner on the initial jump scare of his presence. Johnny shook his head, laughing and sighing; exaggerated and maybe uncomfortable.

“I think….” He looked up from his feet. He’d only glanced at them for a second, but he wanted to look at you when he said, “I think I like you.”

You didn’t know how to respond. Silence felt entirely wrong, but words were lost. After a while, you asked, “You think?”

Johnny shook his head, the simple action shook away any lingering nerves. He’d made it over the biggest hurdle; telling you. Johnny started to walk down the road, waiting for you to follow and calling over his shoulder, “No, I know I do.”

“You know you like me?” You’d scrambled to fall into stride with him, “Since when?”

He breathed, looking up at the sky, “A while. At least six months.”

“Why tell me now?”

“Two reasons.” Johnny held up two fingers, like you needed a visual representation. The reality was you needed him to slow down; his steps, his confession. Either would do, “The first being that I want you to sit by me at the movie. Second…I don’t know. It just felt right.”

He suddenly came to a halt, your reaction time was delayed, but you followed him and stood still. Johnny grabbed your shoulders and turned you, gently, to look at him. He waited and then leaned down, face inches away and his eyes set on yours. You blinked, but didn’t move. It didn’t feel entirely strange to be this close to him, but it felt sudden. Johnny let out a quiet ‘hm’ and set his lips into a certain frown.

You asked him, “What?”

He told you, “You’re reacting exactly how I thought you would and I thought if you reacted like that, I might…change my mind about it.”

“Johnny.” He said it so simply you almost missed that it was borderline rude. Shoving at his shoulder, you clicked your tongue, “How else am I supposed to react?”

“Not a clue.” He started walking, again. This push and pull, walk and stop was getting tiring. You hadn’t moved yet and he called over his shoulder, “Walk. We’re going to be late.”

“Six months?”

“About that, yeah.”

“You thought you were going to change your mind about it?”

He shrugged, “I could have. I didn’t really try, though. Didn’t want to.”

“So…” Finally, you had fallen back into step with him, the sun was tucked away for the night and the streets you wove through were lit up by towering lamps, porch lights and dimmed beams through open windows, “What do you want from this?”

Johnny looked at you, smiling, “Just sit by me at the movie. We’ll see how that goes.”

You couldn’t stop yourself from asking, clearing your throat, “Do…do Mark and Jaehyun know?”

“Yeah.” Johnny nodded, stepping over a lingering puddle that you plowed through, “Jaehyun told me not to tell you, Mark said I should.”

You almost choked, eyes wide and mouth suddenly dry. If Johnny looked at you, for the split second it took you to wipe your initial reaction off your face, you would have given yourself away. You rearranged your features into an expression you hoped conveyed shock mixed with anger. Maybe you were a bit angry, “Why did Jaehyun say that?”

Your taller friend let out a long sigh, turning a corner and fixing his gaze upward. Once more, his shoulders lifted in a shrug. Johnny did that a lot, but not once had you seen him move, speak or react with any genuine uncertainty. Even when he was shrugging he was confident and sure. It was hard not to think of the morning, when he said that. It was hard not to think of the corner-of-the-lips kiss, the unchanging expression, how you’d never felt like telling Jaehyun was just right.

Johnny being so assured was almost insulting, but also admirable.

“He said something about ruining the dynamic. He could be right.”

You didn’t say anything, again, your mind trapping you in a cycle. You wanted, so much, to be able to respond in a sensible, constructed way. You turned another corner, face twisted in thought with Johnny humming and paying no mind by your side. The theatre was up ahead, Jaehyun and Mark waiting for the two of you outside. Jaehyun and Mark not expecting the two of you to come together. Jaehyun and Mark facing opposite directions for that very reason; logically Johnny would’ve come from the opposite direction where Mark was stationed.

Jaehyun saw you first, swallowing hard.

He nudged Mark, “They’re over here.”

Mark asked, turning on his heel, “They?”

Jaehyun only nodded his head towards the two of you, mixing in and out of the crowd on the street, expression unreadable from such a distance. Johnny, however, could read it just fine, right next to you. He laughed, his head tilting down to get your attention, “Don’t think too hard about it.”

You looked at Johnny and said, “Okay.”

“Okay what?” He laughed.

Your feet came to a stop in the middle of the road. Johnny followed, waiting more patiently than you knew him to be. His expression had completely changed from the last time you saw him. This morning, Johnny had been waiting, mocking, like he expected you to say something. Now, Johnny was waiting, serious but calm and comfortable, like he wanted you to say what you needed to.

“I’ll sit next to you during the movie.”

“Good.” He offered you his hand, “Come on, let’s go.”

You took it, the feeling worlds away from Jaehyun’s. Holding Johnny’s hand, however, wasn’t uncomfortable, it wasn’t unpleasant. It was also definitely not on fire. He pulled you through the crowd, looking over heads until he saw Jaehyun and Mark. Johnny was leading you to them and only chuckled a bit when you dropped his hand, greeting your other friends.

“You guys came together?” Mark said, closer to a confirmation than a question.

Johnny made a face, his mocking face that almost seemed like a default for him, “She didn’t want to walk alone.”

“You could’ve called me.” Jaehyun spoke up, never looking away from you. He cleared his throat and quickly justified, “I live closer than Johnny.”

You looked at Jaehyun; how his fists clenched then released, how it was a perfectly reasonable justification, how he kept his face unreadable. For the first time, it felt like he was keeping something from you. You blinked but you laughed it off and shoved at Johnny like the twenty minute walk had been normal, like everything was normal.

“I didn’t call him. He just showed up on my doorstep.”

Mark laughed with you, “Yeah, that seems more accurate”

And then the topic dropped, Mark pulled you into the theatre and Jaehyun and Johnny followed behind. At one point, while buying snacks, you thought you heard Mark say to Jaehyun, “I think he told her.” But there was too much noise in the lobby and in your own head to hear Jaehyun’s response.

During the movie, you sat in between Mark and Johnny, with Jaehyun on Johnny's other side.

For the whole movie, you kept your hands in your lap, sometimes over your eyes, until a jump scare caught you off guard and you grabbed Johnny's hand. You tried to ignore the triumphant smile on his face, you tried to ignore the sound of your heart pounding because the hand you wanted to grab was one seat away. But, Jaehyun had his eyes forward whenever you took the risk of glancing at him and Johnny and Jaehyun, back to Johnny. Doing so for almost the entire movie had given you a headache.

Jaehyun was tense next to Johnny. Every time you looked at him, he held his breath and tried to look calm, normal, anything. He was blocking out the suggestion from Mark that Johnny had told you, but the movie wasn’t nearly good enough to distract him. Instead, he spent the majority of it watching you from his peripheral. Taking a sip of his drink and swallowing hard when he saw you grab Johnny’s hand. If Mark had been right, if Johnny had told you….he didn’t want to think about it. Jaehyun couldn’t let himself think about it.

It, of course, was all he could think about.

So, two sets of eyes bounced back and forth, just missing each other and searching for the same thing, until the movie ended and Mark said, “That wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.”

Johnny walked you home. Jaehyun took a nonsensical route to avoid following the two of you, kicking rocks and cans and causing a ruckus in the otherwise quiet alleyways. Johnny joked and you laughed and he took your hand and you let him. When you were coming up to your house, you kept your eyes forward trying to twist and wind your vision down the streets to see if Jaehyun had made it home. At your doorstep, Johnny pulled you to a stop and grinned.

“What are you thinking?” He asked.

“I’m cold.”

Johnny slipped off his jacket and draped it over your shoulders. Underneath your layers you missed your heart doing the smallest of flutters, the simplest of flips, skipping the shortest beat. It went completely unnoticed. He squared his feet once more and asked, again, “Okay. Now how do you feel?”

It was funny enough, so you laughed enough, “About what?”

“Us.”

Us. Your mind circled around the word, every thought related to it swirling like a tornado. You scrunch your face a bit, looking sideways and down at the ground. Us was a simple enough word but, given the context, a dizzying concept. Us in relation to Johnny, up until three and a half hours ago, just meant friends. Friends who relentlessly tease and bully each other. Friends who flop down in a dog pile on a mattress together more frequently than they sleep in their own beds. Friends who get drunk and run screaming through the streets in the middle of the night. Friends who egg each other on until one breaks and the other one follows and they both do something reckless.

Us, in the way Johnny meant it, felt reckless.

You shrugged, letting out a sigh, “What does that even mean?”

Johnny laughed, eyes wrinkling at the corners, “Okay, fine. How do you feel about me?”

“About you?”

“Yes.”

“How do I feel about Johnny Suh?”

“That’s me.” He rocked on his heels, the action shockingly endearing. You’d seen this flip switch in him before; the one that amped up his charm. Being on the receiving end of it, however, was giving you whiplash. Johnny tacked on, “Or, more specifically, what I told you?””

You looked up at Johnny, who put absolutely no pressure on you to answer but still waited, in case you did. You asked him, quietly, “Can I sleep on it?”

He nodded. You knew if he didn’t have a beanie on his hair would have flopped into his eyes. You knew, given the energy and the circumstances, you might think it was adorable. So, when Johnny asked if he could kiss you, you said yes. And he did. It was soft, the way he cupped your face with one hand and pulled you nearer with the other. It was sweet, the way he bent his knees a bit to be more level. It was warm, when his lips met yours and moved, but only slightly. It was comfortable, when he pulled away and gave you that grin he was known for.

When Johnny breathed and stepped back, only a bit, he suggested, “If you think about it too long, I really might change my mind.”

You’d made a habit of shoving him tonight. It didn’t seem like this moment should be an exception, “Oh my God. Go home.”

Johnny stumbled back and laughed, hand on his chest. He watched you turn and open your gate, ignoring him when he urged, “And?”

You only turned to answer him when you were at your door, “And let me know when you get there.”

“Will do.” Johnny saluted, turning on his heel and wandering away, “Goodnight. Great kiss.”

You rolled your eyes and stepped inside. For a moment, you stood in the entryway quietly, pulling off your shoes and stepping into your slippers. You took out your phone, unlocking it and staring blankly at the screen. It was normal, it was instinct for you to text him. It was normal, it was instinct to make sure he’d made it back home. Your fingers still hesitated, hovering over his name; Jaehyun.

You typed, 10:12pm Did you make it back home?

It was only a minute before he replied, 10:13pm I did. Did you?

You told him, 10:13pm Yeah.

You wanted to type more. You wanted to call him. For the first time, you felt like you were hiding something as well. The evening had exhausted you with first time feelings. You gnawed on your lip, typing and deleting and hoping Jaehyun wasn’t watching his phone like you’d been. Hoping he wouldn’t see your un-Johnnylike indecision.

Finally, you asked him, 10:15pm How did you feel about the movie?

10:17pm I think we need to stop letting Johnny pick. He replied.

You laughed, letting out the breath you’d been holding. Wandering into the kitchen and without thinking, you tapped to call him. When he picked up, at the sound of his rustling sheets, you said, “It wasn’t that bad.”

“Not this time.” Jaehyun laughed. The sound of your voice put him at ease. He worked to convince himself you weren’t defending Johnny’s poor movie choices because Johnny had confessed and you’d accepted. But, it was the most prominent voice in his head until you spoke and drowned it out. Jaehyun continued, “But, Johnny also made us go see Boss Baby and I don’t know how you and Mark look past that.”

You laughed. God he really loved that sound. Your hands busied themselves with whatever was within reach in the kitchen; toying with the knives in the knife block, pulling open the fridge and shutting it, sitting through your junk drawer. Any sound to drown out how unsteady your breathing was. You had to tell him, you knew you did. But, maybe he was right and maybe Johnny was right. Maybe it would ruin the dynamic.

It slipped out, “Johnny told me he likes me, Jae.”

He wasn’t breathing anymore. Jaehyun wasn’t moving or breathing or reacting. He was laying in his bed wishing he could go back and stop you from telling him that. Jaehyun was sweating in the worst way, heart beating erratically against his chest. He’d never felt panic like this, not that he could remember. But, Jaehyun was having trouble remembering much of anything other than the last sentence you’d said. Because Johnny had confessed to you, and you….you….

“What did you say?” He asked, correcting himself once again with, “I mean to Johnny. What did you say to him?”

“That I needed to think about it.” It was true. That I needed to think about it because of you would have been more accurate, but simplicity might have been best. It was certainly easier.

“What do you think about it?” Jaehyun didn’t really want to know the answer. But, it seemed like the appropriate response. If you were telling him, maybe you were trying to work it out. Maybe, despite how it twisted his stomach into knots, you needed his help with Johnny. He asked another question hoping you’d forget the first one, “Is that why you sat by him during the movie?”

“Mm.” You didn’t know how else to respond. Your hands had stopped fidgeting, hanging limp at your sides and shaking. “I don’t know how I feel.”

You told Jaehyun because you made a promise to not hide things. You told Jaehyun because you were hoping for something even if you didn’t know exactly what. You told Jaehyun because it was easier than saying “I wish it had been you to confess. Or me.”

He made a noise of agreement on the other end of the phone call. Jaehyun really couldn’t bring himself to do much else. The only thing he wanted to say was how much he wished he had the confidence, the reckless and unbridled tenacity that Johnny did. Jaehyun wanted to say that it should’ve been him on your doorstep, walking you to the movie. Holding your hand, as he always did, but with an entirely new meaning; better, so much better.

Jaehyun reminded himself to breathe. He thought for a moment and then let out a laugh that he didn’t really mean to release. You not knowing could still be a silver lining and one he was willing to hold onto, no matter how desperate it was, “It’s okay to not know.”

You laughed too, uncomfortable and mostly to hide any detectable unsteadiness, “It just like…it came out of nowhere, right? He told me he told you and Mark. I just…I don’t know what to do about it.”

Then, Jaehyun said something he regretted immediately. In an attempt to be a supportive friend, with the hopes that you’d ultimately land on the only logical solution; that you and Johnny were wrong for each other and you and Jaehyun were right. Jaehyun told you, quietly and trying to sound encouraging, “Just go with what you feel. Do what feels right.”

“Oh.” You said. Your voice fell into a whisper. “Oh. Okay, right. That makes sense.”

Do what feels right. Johnny knew what felt right to him, Johnny was sure that you felt right and telling you was right. He made it look so easy.

Jaehyun continued his mission to say regretful things, “We’ll support you.”

“Right.” You needed him to stop talking. You needed his indifference and encouragement to stop or transform into something like longing, desperation. You’d take either one over whatever he was giving you, “I think…I’m going to go to bed. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Of course.” His voice was quiet now, too. He knew, almost instantly, how much he’d messed up, “Sleep well.”

“You too.”

And then you hung up. You carried yourself up to your bed and draped your body across it, looking up at the ceiling and wishing you could see the stars. Jaehyun rolled over onto his stomach, burying his face in the pillows and wishing he could see your face. You swallowed every feeling and every thought, memorizing how each one tasted as it went down and wincing at the ones that came back up.

Johnny knew it was right. And maybe the fact that you hadn’t ever felt like it was right with Jaehyun was a bigger sign than you were willing to admit. Maybe you’d been chasing something foolish and fueled by your own imagination. You wanted to scream and cry and, most importantly, you wanted to know what right felt like.

It felt right to be near to Jaehyun, as near as possible. It felt right to hold his hand, to hug him, to fall asleep with each other and to put your lips to his cheek, his forehead, his nose. But, it never felt right to tell him exactly how right, how wonderful, how perfect it all felt.

Johnny knew it was right.

Hours later, after mulling over every thought, taking every possible route you could think of, you settled and started to drift off. It wouldn’t be terrible, being with Johnny. In some aspects, it might be better than being just his friend. You felt guilt, like it might be unfair to force yourself into this; unfair to you and to Johnny. To the entire group and the foundation you’d all spent years building. It might also be unfair to not try at all. There was only one clear reason why you shouldn’t, wouldn’t, almost couldn’t date Johnny and it began and ended with Jeong Jaehyun.

You weighed that thought against all the reasons it might be just fine, great even, being with Johnny.

Drifting off, your final thoughts convinced you; if Johnny knew it was right with you, and you never knew when or if it would be right with Jaehyun, maybe you’d know what’s right with Johnny.

📻

He was outside your house again, hands in his pockets but without his beanie. You saw him through your bedroom window and Johnny waved like he’d been invited, like he was meant to be there. Like it was right.

His certainty, again, borderline offensive.

You stood in front of him, on one side of the gate, “How long have you been out here?”

“Check your phone.”

You’d been ignoring the device since your conversation with Jaehyun; tiptoeing around it like any sudden movements would provoke it to ring, buzz, ding. Worried, mostly, about more encouraging words from Jaehyun. Pulling it out from your pocket was the first time you’d checked and - mixed in with the multiple messages from Jaehyun - ten minutes ago, Johnny had told you he was near your house. You mumbled, “Ah.”

That smile. That particular smile. In the gentle light of an unremarkable fall morning, Johnny gave you that smile and you finally noticed that small hiccup in your heart. Maybe it was nerves, maybe it was your subconscious urging you to take a chance. It was honest, it was warm, it was playful and exciting. That smile, without much else, could convince you to do a lot of things.

Squaring your shoulders, tilting your head and letting out a quick laugh, you asked him, “Did you come here to tell me you changed your mind?”

He shook his head, hair flopping just as it should. You’d been right to think he’d look good like that. Then again, he probably always had, “Nope. Haven’t changed it at all. What about you?”

“Wouldn’t I need to make up my mind to change it?” You asked. It was a valid question, a little less than twelve hours wasn’t much time to consider anything, really. Johnny nodded, so you continued, “Can I ask you something?”

He leaned against the stone wall the gate was settled into, “Okay, ask away.”

You wanted to ask him if he was willing to take things slow. You wanted to ask Johnny, if you did take a chance on this, if you had to tell Mark and Jaehyun everything right away. You wanted to ask if, by asking that, were you still reacting exactly how he thought you would.

You looked up at him, matching his stance on the opposing side of the stone wall. You were face to face, eye to eye - which was rare, considering his height. Looking at Johnny in that moment, the way his eyes were shining with no help from the absent sun; how his lips curled up just slightly like he was both mocking and admiring you; like maybe you were the only thing he could see or wanted to. It was such a strange feeling. You briefly remembered exactly how it felt to kiss him, only half a day ago and could feel the blush burning from your cheeks to the the tips of your ears. Every question you thought to ask him dissolved and you were left just staring at each other, wind rustling his hair and yours.

The gust of wind urged a sigh from somewhere deep in your lungs, the words followed the breath out of your lips before you could stop them, “Have you always looked at me like that?”

Johnny’s smile broke, wider than ever and his eyes lifted into half moons, “Probably. At least for the last six months. But, I’m good at hiding it.”

“Because you thought you’d change your mind.” You teased him.

“You’re not going to let that go, huh?”

You only shrugged. Neither of you moved to a new position, his eyes still sparkled and your cheeks still burned red. You asked him, “Why?”

Johnny laughed then, repeating, “Why? Why what?”

It felt pathetic to ask him “why me,” but some part of you needed to know. On top of that, Johnny’s…confession had been very uniquely Johnny; straightforward, a fact, like he was telling you the Earth was round and you were ridiculous for not knowing. The Earth is round and birds fly and I like you. He didn’t elaborate and you didn’t know if he ever would, but you wanted him to. You wanted a wild confession, a passionate one.

“Why do you like me?” It took all your courage to ask, you were grateful that your voice didn’t falter, “At least three reasons.”

It was also becoming annoying how you were suddenly so painfully shy in front of Johnny. You hated that feeling, but the atmosphere had changed so quickly it was hard to find your footing.

He nodded his head, looking up towards the sky and mumbling, “Okay, three reasons.”

Then he was silent. For a very long time. You shuffled from one foot to the other, and Johnny stood still fixing his face to look like he was impossibly deep in thought. Occasionally he’d sigh, he’d pick at his hair or tap his chin. A few times, Johnny murmured things like “no, don’t say that” or “maybe” and once “oh, I can’t say that.”

You huffed out an annoyed laugh, tossing your head back and tapping at the stone, “Jesus, don’t strain yourself.”

“I’m narrowing it down.” He stated. Simplicity, again, “You only wanted three reasons.”

“How many reasons do you have?”

Johnny turned his attention back to you, a wild, remarkable, troublemaking grin on his face. He put both hands back on the stone, one hand on top of the other and placed his chin on top of them, “About one million.”

“I hate you.”

You rolled your eyes, a smile tugging at your lips, and pushed yourself back to walk into your house. Johnny called your name. When you didn’t turn back, you could hear the gate swing open, slam shut and the thudding of his feet on the pathway. Johnny laughed - he was always laughing, “Wait.”

Still, you didn’t turn, stepping up to your front door. You glanced over your shoulder to tell him, almost scolding him, “That was so corny.”

Johnny stood on the bottom step, you on the top. He grabbed your hand, pulling you to turn around and look at him. That smile was still there, it made your stomach flip. It was hard to keep up with how your body, your mind, your heart was reacting. Your phone burned in your pocket, suddenly remembering Jaehyun, remembering you ignoring Jaehyun. Remembering Jaehyun telling you to do what felt right and he’d support you.

Johnny licked his lips, “Kiss me.”

“What?”

He corrected, “Can I kiss you? Again?” After a moment, he tacked on a gentle, “Please?”

His smile never left. The smile that could convince you to do a lot of things. The smile that pulled you down the middle step, down so you were once again eye level with Johnny. The smile that only fell when you leaned in and Johnny leaned in and you were so close that you could feel him breathing. If you listened close enough, you could hear his heart beating loudly in time with yours. Johnny kissed you, you kissed him back.

His lips, God his lips, were soft against yours and warm despite the chill of fall. Johnny lifted the hand he was still holding to rest on his shoulder, his own hands wrapping around you to pull you against him. Your other hand naturally found its way to the nape of his neck, stroking the hair there and you swear you hear him moan when you do. So you smile, and you melt and you immerse yourself in feeling his body against yours, his lips moving perfectly, slowly. The exact passion you were wanting but entirely wordless. It was hard not to whine when he pulled away, it felt like an eternity and it felt entirely too short.

Johnny waited for you to catch your breath and open your eyes. He held you by your hips and didn’t break eye contact when he said, “I feel like you think I’m joking and I’m not.”

You shook your head, “I don’t think you’re joking, I’m just….shocked.”

“Good shock or bad shock?” Johnny asked, but he added, “Based on the way you just kissed me, I’m hoping good.”

“If you stop being corny, I’ll let you know faster.” You laughed, so he laughed, but neither one of you moved. You both just stood there for a moment, holding onto each other, breathing, blinking, smiling. After a while, you told Johnny, “I think it’s good. Right now, I think it’s a good shock. But, you gave yourself six months to change your mind, so I expect the same.”

He shook his head, “Nah, in six months you’ll already be too in love with me and I’ll have wanted you for a full year.”

Another skipped heartbeat, another small stomach flip. You had to push away the question of if you could fall in love with Johnny. Honestly, anyone could. It would be so easy, especially if he kept kissing you like that. Still, you didn’t think it would be nearly as fun to give into him so quickly. It would likely never hurt to humble Johnny.

“You think I’ll fall in love with you that fast, huh?”

He didn’t waver, “Probably faster, if I’m being honest.”

Your eyebrows raised, leaning back to look fully at Johnny. He looked so proud of himself, you thought about kissing him again. Instead, you said, “I feel like you’re trying to start a bet with me and I don’t think the target is supposed to be in on that kind of bet.”

“I’m not.” He told you; another fact. Johnny pulled you closer, he didn’t hesitate but lingered for a moment before bringing his lips to your cheek. He placed a kiss there before his lips hovered over your ear, “But, if I were making a bet, I’d say three months.”

You rolled your eyes, pushing him back finally and stepping back up to the top step. He put his hands in his pockets, still looking proud and something like invincible, “Wouldn’t I have to give you a chance, first?”

“Aren’t you?”

“Am I?”

“I’d like you to.” He took a bold step up, matching your height again, “I would very much like you to.”

Observation had been key in the last twenty four hours. It was hard to adjust to him looking at you like that, hard to take it all in. But, none of it was unwelcome. It was just shocking. You’d always thought Johnny would be the type to make a crush he had, any crush, obvious. Johnny was the type to be loud about that sort of thing. You considered, for a second, that maybe he had been and that you had been so wrapped up in…that you hadn’t noticed it.

“Okay, Johnny.”

“Okay, what?” It was almost a whisper. He was so close again when he said your name, “Okay to what? I want you to say it.”

“Okay to…sitting next to you at another movie. Just the two of us.” You breathed, it felt like a comfortable enough offer when all you could really think about was kissing Johnny again. Johnny, your friend. Johnny, who was now looking at you like you were made of starlight, “Okay to…giving this a shot. Is that good?”

“It’s good.” He seemed like he was reconsidering that answer, then he mended it saying, “It’s great. Really great. When? Are you free later?”

You were, so you nodded without much thought and leaned against your front door. From your back pocket, now pressed against the door, you felt and heard your phone vibrate. Johnny’s went off, too, which meant it was one of two people. You felt your heart stop, watching Johnny take his phone out to check and he told you, “It’s Mark. You haven’t seen his phone charger, right?”

You shook your head as a reply, maybe to shake out your thoughts, as well. You had to ask him. Even if it was unfair, you had to. The way your heart paused, meant you had to. How your hands started sweating and shaking, you had to. You were consciously thinking about every breath you took just by thinking it was Jaehyun texting the two of you. So, even if you hated to, you had to ask.

“Johnny. I have to ask something else.” He looked up, your phone buzzed again with whatever Johnny had typed, he nodded for you to continue, “Can we…Look, I want to take this…”

“You don’t want to tell Mark and Jaehyun.” You paused, knowing the answer was yes. Johnny waited for you to respond, when you forced your head to nod, he sighed. He tucked his phone away and tapped his fingers on his knee, “For how long?”

You shrugged your shoulders and closed your eyes, head against the door. It was pushing too far, asking him to keep this from your two other best friends. You offered, “I just want to feel this out. It kind of came out of nowhere.”

“Of course it came out of nowhere. I know you.” Johnny told you, with his grin and his floppy hair and his certainty, “You’re good at a lot of things, but one of those things is talking yourself out of stuff.”

“Oh, yikes.” He was right, of course. It still nipped at your pride, “Okay.”

“Hey.” Johnny dipped down once more, hand reaching out to hold onto your arm. He waited for you to acknowledge him before he said, “It’s not a bad thing. A lot of the time, you’re the voice of reason in the group. That brain of yours is good for the dynamic.”

That brain of yours could only think how Jaehyun said this might be bad for the dynamic. You and Johnny might be bad for the dynamic.

Johnny could see you slipping back into thought, something he’d really wanted to avoid. He wished, in that moment and a lot of moments in the past, that he could reach inside your head and pull you back out. Johnny had been good about it before, making jokes or distracting you or picking a fight. Doing any of that didn’t fit this mood, however. So, Johnny simply asked you, “What’s on your mind?”

You told him, just as simply, “I don’t want to make you feel like a secret.”

“I won’t. What else?”

“I just…” Sighing the words out was the only way they’d breach your lips, “It’s a big change.”

“It is.” Johnny agreed, “But for what it's worth, you’ve always been the best with change. And…”

“And?”

“And now that I’ve done it twice, I really don’t want to have to stop kissing you.” He’d made you laugh, again. Johnny didn’t mean to make you laugh, he’d never been more serious about something. But, he found that when he didn’t expect to hear it is when your laugh sounded the sweetest. So, he smiled at you and let you laugh, “We’ll tell them eventually. When you’re ready. In about two weeks, when you’re officially in love with me.”

“Two weeks? You said three months.”

He straightened, “I was accounting for group time.”

“We’ll still have group time. If anything, group time will drag it out longer.”

��Drag what out longer?”

You rolled your eyes, “Me falling in love with you.”

“So, you're admitting you will fall in love with me?”

“Jesus Christ, Johnny.” You turned from him, opening the door to go inside. Johnny was probably smiling, probably smug, probably adorable behind you, “Pick a movie and let me know what time, okay?”

“Will do. And, hey,” He waited for you to look back at him - you were right, he was smug. Johnny pointed towards you, vaguely, “You look really good in my jacket.”

Until that point, you hadn’t noticed. It was the first jacket on the hook when you’d come outside, which made sense. You couldn’t tell if you were blushing or if the rush of fall air tinted your cheeks; you felt hot and cold all at once, so it was almost impossible to tell. Johnny made his way down your steps, you stood at the door watching him. But, when he got to the gate, he turned and looked at you. His expression was signature Johnny; mischievous, playful, calculating. He shook his head, hair flopping again and his tongue swiping across his bottom lip.

Johnny took exactly six strides to get back to you, down the path and up the stairs, and when his lips were an inch away from yours, he asked, “One more time? Please?”

So you kissed him. And it felt sweet, on its way to intoxicating. And it felt warm, on its way to burning. It felt comfortable, on its way to right.

masterlist. next.

[epinebleue]

love me now (m) | johnny suh

a series of drabbles depicting life with your hot-ass boyfriend.

pairing: johnny suh x reader (female)

genre: established relationship!au, angst, fluff, mature.

warnings: specified in each chapter.

status: ongoing

chapter index:

01. in which you have sex via FaceTime

02. in which you have to babysit your niece

03. in which you go to a Halloween party

04. in which Johnny has a car accident

05. in which you go for a night drive

06. in which you lose a bet

07. in which you make an interesting discovery

08. in which the rain ruins your plans

09. in which Johnny gets into a fight

10. in which the heat is unbearable

11. in which Johnny gets his hair cut

No reposting or translations allowed.

© epinebleue 2023

[multifandomslxt]

I’m just here to love your Johnny profile pic 🥹 I’m so unequivocally in love with this man bruh 😭

Okay actually 🥹 can I ask for like the fluffiest fluff you could even imagine with Johnny? Like pet names, giggles, cute moments, fluff to point of no return type of shit? I wanna fall in love with it and then cry cause I’m so single 🧍🏾‍♀️💀

Johnny Suh

was and still is the first guy to make your heart flutter with the most crony and cheesy shit.

"I want to spoil you" and he does. so well.

the time he surprised you with your favorite snacks and movie because his " baby was stressed"

or the time he got you matching necklaces because he wants to feel you even when you guys aren't together.

to him, you're his everything.

"Baby, you know I love you right? "

he reassures and comforts you without you having to ask for it.

he will give you everything even if it means it burns him out

"Johnny, you're overworked. you need to rest " You tell him this whenever his eyes become tired and his movement a little sluggish

"I want to give you the best and it means I gotta work hard baby you know that"

He feels so strongly about you its not even a joke. Never saw himself as the clingy type but gosh if he could merge with you he would.

he keeps this a secret from you but whenever you're not going to be together for a while he buys the perfume you use and sprays it on his hotel pillow before he sleeps at night.

He cries whenever you accomplish things you've worked hard for.

what can he say? he's really proud of you

and proud to be with you

with his whole being he fucking loves you.

[keehomania]

JOHNNY SUH (서영호) — FRIENDS (2)

(EXTENDED) ✧.* MINORS DNI (18+)

the studio was filled to the brim with creativity, the kind only found in a university art class on a thursday afternoon. it was flooded with students, each absorbed in their own world. the faint smell of oil paints mingled with the earthy scent of wet clay, the low hum of charcoal pencils scratching against paper, and the occasional mutterings of frustration or triumph filled the space. easels were scattered about like skeletons, their frames supporting unfinished works that glistened under the soft light streaming from the high windows. sunlight slanted lazily across the floor, illuminating particles of dust in the air.

the professor, known for her lax attitude, had long stopped bothering with punctuality. she’d drift in whenever the mood struck, her students used to the freedom that came with it. some of them thrived in this lack of structure, diligently working on their projects—focused, hunched over their creations as though they were the only things in the universe. some sketched silently, the sharp scratch of pencil against paper a soothing background noise. others sculpted, fingers molding and shaping clay into forms that seemed to breathe. and then there was you.

you sat in the center of it all, doing absolutely nothing, arms crossed over your chest as you reclined back in your chair with a deep sigh. your eyes scanned the room, half-lidded with boredom, before your gaze inevitably dropped to your phone, face-up on the table like a reflection of your current mood. “holy shit,” you muttered to no one in particular, grabbing your phone and pressing it to your forehead. the cool glass made brief contact with your skin before you heaved another sigh, eyes fluttering shut in frustration. you peeked through one eye only to see some of your foundation now smudged onto the screen. perfect.

“what is it now?” joohyun’s voice piped up, soft yet amused, from across the table. she exchanged a quick glance with seulgi, who was already trying—unsuccessfully—to hide a knowing smirk behind her sketchbook. you waved your phone in the air, leaning back with exaggerated exasperation. “this asshole,” you grumbled, your words dripping with disdain. “he's the one who suggested a hotel instead of a motel, and now he wants me to chip in? like, i won the jackass lottery or something.”

seulgi’s lips finally parted into a grin, the kind of smile that made you feel even more ridiculous for being upset in the first place. she loved this, basking in the drama of your misadventures. you kicked your legs out under the table, letting them dangle as you vented, before dropping your phone with a soft clatter and burying your face in your arms. “who is it this time?” she asked, her voice brimming with barely-contained laughter. “the guy from that app? the one from yesterday?”

you lifted your head just enough to shoot her a look. you’d stopped believing in fairytales a long time ago—no more prince charming, no perfect ending. you were fine with it, honestly. you didn’t need romance; you just needed a little fun. “yeah,” you admitted, leaning back in your chair. “and i wouldn’t even be this pissed if he actually had any game. but it wasn’t even worth spending the night with him.”

joohyun reached over, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. her touch was gentle, sympathetic, as if she knew how many times you’d been through this cycle. you pressed your eyes shut, a shiver running through you as last night’s blurry details flickered across your mind. the cringe settled deep in your bones. “i’m so done,” you sighed once again, this time quieter, almost to yourself.

seulgi was already giggling, and joohyun was fighting back a grin of her own. you sat back up, hands hitting the table with a light thud as you tried to shake off the lingering embarrassment. “smoke break, guys?” seulgi shook her head, holding up two fingers that she’d been doodling on earlier. “can’t. quitting,” she replied in a higher, almost mocking pitch. “seulgi’s on a no-nic diet for the next three days.”

you shot her a look, feigning disgust as you pushed her hand away. “you psycho. what’s in three days?” she linked arms with joohyun, flipping her hair dramatically as if she were some movie star. “a blind date,” she sang, “and i can’t be shaking on the date, so i’m preparing.”

you rolled your eyes. “another blind date? you’re addicted to men, i swear.” the words were barely out of your mouth when you realized the irony of your statement. seulgi didn’t miss a beat, waving you off with a smug grin. “look who’s talking, miss i-fell-for-the-hotel,” she quipped, dragging joohyun away with a playful skip in her step.

you sighed, muttering under your breath, “point taken.” for a moment, you considered staying right where you were, hiding away in your bubble of frustration and second-hand embarrassment. but that wasn’t your style. instead, you pushed yourself forward, sliding across the floor in your chair until you reached the person you really needed to talk to.

“hey, loser,” you called out, your eyes locked on johnny’s figure as he worked. he was hunched over his sculpture, completely absorbed, his hands moving with precision as he molded the clay. his ears were covered with large headphones, barricading him from the outside world, oblivious to your approach. you watched him for a second longer, taking in the concentration etched into his features. workaholic, lunatic, or maybe a bit of both. he’d been your best friend for years now, and somehow, even through all your ridiculousness, he stuck around. you weren’t sure why, but you were grateful.

with a glance you hoped was nonchalant, you swung your boot gently into the back of his knee, not hard enough to topple him over but enough to get his attention. johnny’s head jerked up, his expression morphing from confusion to mild annoyance as he pulled his headphones down around his neck. “what do you want?” he sighed, his voice heavy with the weight of someone who had dealt with you a thousand times over.

you sighed dramatically, mimicking his tone as you flopped back into your chair. “seul and joo left, and now i have no one to smoke with.” you ran a hand through your hair, flipping it over your shoulder with unnecessary flair. “what if i go alone and get kidnapped? what’s my mom gonna do?”

johnny rolled his eyes, the corners of his mouth twitching as if he were fighting off a smile. “i should just let you get kidnapped, you psycho,” he muttered, but there was no real venom behind his words. “let’s go.” that was all you needed. you shoved your chair back, springing to your feet with a grin, tapping johnny’s back playfully with your fists as he stood. he tried his best to hide the small smile tugging at his lips, but you knew him too well.

the hallway leading out of the studio was quiet, save for the occasional shuffle of footsteps and muffled voices from the rooms you passed. the door clicked softly as johnny pushed it open, letting a stream of late afternoon sunlight flood the corridor. you followed him out, the warmth hitting your skin in sharp contrast to the cool air of the studio. outside, the sky was a pale wash of blues and pinks, the first signs of evening beginning to settle over the campus.

you trailed after him, the soles of your boots echoing faintly against the worn stone stairs that spiraled down to the terrace below. the steps were chipped in places, the edges softened by years of students rushing up and down them, eager for a break, a moment to breathe. you descended with him at a leisurely pace, taking your time as you passed patches of ivy creeping up the sides of the building, the green leaves glistening under the fading sunlight.

as you reached the terrace, a familiar scene greeted you. a few other students were already there, lounging against the stone walls or perched on the benches, cigarettes hanging loosely from their lips, smoke curling lazily into the air. laughter and conversation floated around in a low hum, blending with the distant sound of traffic from the streets beyond the campus. it was a scene you had witnessed countless times—a place where people drifted between classes, seeking a moment of reprieve from whatever deadlines or frustrations weighed on their minds.

you plopped down onto the nearest bench with a sigh, the wood creaking beneath you as you shrugged off your jacket. your hand slid into the inner pocket, fingers curling around the familiar pack of cigarettes. with a quick flick of your wrist, you pulled one out and brought it to your lips, feeling the slight resistance as the filter pressed against your skin.

johnny remained silent as he walked to the edge of the terrace, arms folded across his chest as he leaned against the low metal fence. his gaze wandered over the campus below, where students meandered through the courtyard, their shadows long against the golden light. he looked like he was taking in the view, but you knew better. his eyes flickered back toward you, watching in that subtle, amused way he always did. there was something comforting about it—how he never had to say much, how his presence alone was enough.

you struck a match, the flame dancing momentarily before you lit your cigarette. you inhaled deeply, feeling the smoke curl in your lungs before you released it into the air, the cloud of it rising like a small puff of frustration. you smoked like it was the only thing anchoring you, like you could pull something solid from it if you just inhaled deeply enough. johnny’s soft scoff reached your ears, and you glanced over to see him shaking his head. “you’re a real addict, you know that?” his tone was teasing, but his gaze was sharp, the corner of his mouth twitching in a half-smile. still, he accepted the cigarette you offered him, taking it with a look that played at being indifferent but didn’t quite hide the fondness underneath.

“heard last night didn’t go so well,” he remarked, flicking the lighter and inhaling a slow drag before passing it back. you scrunched up your face, the memory hitting you all over again like a wave of distaste. “don’t even get me started. that son of a bitch,” you trailed off, slapping your palm against your forehead as if you could physically erase the entire night from your mind. you took another deep drag from your cigarette, letting the smoke soothe your nerves, though it did little to remove the embarrassment lodged deep in your chest.

johnny’s eyes lingered on you with that amused expression, the one that said he knew exactly how bad your night had been even before you said it. he leaned against the bench behind you, close enough that you could feel the slight brush of his shoulder as he hovered. you could sense his curiosity, see the way his gaze kept flicking toward the phone you had now opened in your lap.

“god, i hate it when they have tattoos like this,” you muttered, swiping left on the latest guy to show up on your screen. the tattoo in question—a lion etched awkwardly across the guy’s chest—made you gag in disgust as you dismissed him with a swipe, your fingers moving swiftly as if the mere sight of it offended your sensibilities. johnny shifted beside you, a small frown tugging at the corners of his lips. “pretty cheesy,” he murmured, taking another drag, the smoke curling around him in a soft cloud. he couldn’t help his hand from subconsciously patting down the tattoo that rested on his shoulder and extended above his pec. it was the same one he did his best to hide under baggy clothes, as he had gotten it done not too long ago. it was safe to say that your words stung.

you set your phone down on your lap, turning to meet his gaze with a look that was half-amused, half-exasperated. “come to think of it,” you started, the smirk creeping back onto your lips, “the guy from last night had a huge tattoo. wanna know what it said?” johnny shot you a look—half curiosity, half dread—but there was no real stopping you once you got started. he sighed, leaning in slightly, even though you both knew he didn’t really want to hear whatever it was you were about to say.

“‘i will never die,’” you recited with mock gravitas, your voice low as you mimicked the guy's words. johnny blinked, waiting for the punchline. you paused, savoring the moment before adding, “how? false advertising. that dick of his just kept dying and dying—” before you could finish, his hand shot out, pressing firmly over your mouth, his palm warm against your lips. you saw the way his eyes widened, the faint blush creeping up his neck, and you couldn’t help the smile that curled beneath his hand, though you were certain he could feel it.

“shut up,” he muttered, his voice tinged with disbelief as he glanced around, making sure no one else had overheard your scandalous recounting. his hand lingered for a moment longer before he pulled it away, exasperation written all over his face. “you’re insane.” you couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you as you watched him shake his head. he was used to your antics by now, used to your endless rants about the ridiculous men you met and the even more ridiculous situations you found yourself in. it was part of his job, as your best friend, to listen to it all. as a man, though? he had heard more than he ever wanted to.

the glow of the vanity light cast a soft, golden hue over your apartment’s small, cluttered room. your reflection stared back at you, lips pursed in concentration as you applied the final touches to your look. the lipstick glided smoothly over your lips, completing the look you were known for on nights like these. you loved going out. there was something about the noise, the energy, the feeling of being alive among people, that kept you from ever staying in. the silence of your apartment, the stillness that came when you weren’t surrounded by the pulse of music or the buzz of conversation, felt suffocating.

you leaned in closer to the mirror, adjusting the curve of your eyeliner just so, exhaling softly as the familiar weight of anticipation settled in your chest. a night out was like a ritual—one you had mastered with the precision of someone who knew exactly who they were in those fleeting moments of freedom. the dress you wore tonight—a vibrant shade of red that hugged your body in all the right places—was daring, just as you liked it. your fingers absentmindedly smoothed the fabric, adjusting it one last time before your gaze drifted to your phone on the edge of the vanity.

its screen lit up with a soft glow, catching your attention as the group chat with seulgi and joohyun exploded with messages. seulgi was in full panic mode, flooding the chat with questions about outfits, makeup, and shoes, her usual pre-night-out anxiety in full swing. you smirked, your first instinct to fire back something to simmer her down, but your fingers hovered over her name for a moment before sliding over to johnny’s contact instead.

(y/n) 𖹭

where r we meeting up? (6:24 pm)

you didn’t have to wait long. the reply came in almost immediately, and the corner of your lips twitched in amusement as you read it.

chicago by trina vega

im literally in front of ur house? hurry up (6:24 pm)

you blinked, caught off guard. you glanced back at the time. had you really spent that long getting ready? it hadn’t felt like it, but time had a funny way of slipping away when you were perfecting your look. to be fair, johnny hadn’t exactly mentioned he’d be coming to pick you up. but then again, he always did, so you should’ve known. you let out a breath, casting one last look in the mirror before swapping out your denim jacket for the leather one that hung from the back of your chair. the familiar scent of worn leather greeted you as you shrugged it over your shoulders, its weight a comfortable presence against the soft fabric of your dress.

with one last glance around the room, you flicked off the lights and stepped outside, the evening air cool as it wrapped around you. much to your approval, johnny was exactly where he said he’d be, leaning casually against his motorcycle, the streetlights casting a faint glow over his figure. his lips quirked into a teasing smile as he raised a hand in greeting, eyes glinting with that ever-present, mocking amusement.

“so pretty,” you murmured, but your gaze had already slipped past him, landing squarely on his motorcycle. you couldn’t help the way your eyes softened as you admired it, the sleek, polished surface gleaming under the dim lights. for a second, his expression brightened, the compliment washing over him, but the light in his eyes dimmed just as fast as he realized it wasn’t for him. he let out an exaggerated sigh, his posture relaxing as he pushed off from the bike and reached for the spare helmet. “you should totally sell her to me,” you said, your tone playful but laced with just enough seriousness that johnny couldn’t quite tell if you were joking or not.

he scoffed, shaking his head as he passed you the helmet, his fingers brushing against yours for just a second. “you should totally change my name in your contacts,” he retorted, mimicking your playful tone as he mounted the bike with practiced ease. your lips curled into a smile as you swung your leg over the seat, the leather of your jacket creaking slightly as you inched closer to him, wrapping your arms around his waist. the warmth of his body radiated through his jacket, a comforting presence against your chest. you leaned in, your breath ghosting against the back of his neck as you murmured, “not a chance.”

the proximity, the casual intimacy of the gesture, was so common between the two of you, but you knew exactly the effect it had. you could feel the way johnny tensed slightly beneath your touch, could practically hear the gears grinding in his head. it was always like this—a careful dance between familiarity and something unspoken, something neither of you dared to acknowledge. he didn’t say a word, but the way his hands gripped the handlebars a little tighter was answer enough. he started the engine with a low rumble, the vibrations of the bike thrumming through your legs as you held onto him, your arms tightening instinctively around his waist. you rested your cheek against his back, a small smirk tugging at your lips as the bike roared to life beneath you.

the neon lights of the bar flickered above as johnny parked his bike, the low hum of the engine fading into the steady pulse of the city nightlife. you swung your leg over and hopped off, the heels of your boots clicking against the pavement. as you straightened your dress, a teasing grin spread across your lips when you noticed johnny’s outfit. “hey, you totally copied me,” you said, pointing at the black leather jacket he was wearing, almost identical to yours. your eyes glinted with playful accusation, lips tugging into a smirk.

he scoffed, his response casual as he pulled off your helmet and tucked it back onto the bike. “i’m older than you, loser. you’re definitely the copycat here,” he retorted, giving you a sideways glance. his voice was light, but there was a warmth to the banter, the kind of ease that came with knowing someone far too well. you waved him off with an exaggerated flick of your hand. “details, details,” you mumbled, already skipping ahead to the entrance of the bar, your boots clicking in a hurried rhythm. the thrill of the night ahead quickened your steps, an excitement bubbling in your chest that you couldn’t quite suppress.

johnny trailed behind, slower, more measured, but his eyes followed you with the same fond amusement they always did. you pushed open the heavy door, the familiar warmth and noise of the bar spilling out to greet you. the rich, smoky scent mingled with the low thrum of music, immediately washing over you like a comforting embrace. as you stepped inside, you were met with a chorus of cheers and loud greetings from the group already seated at the far end of the room. seulgi’s voice rang out first, her words blending with the din of laughter. “now we can get the night started!”

johnny gave a small smirk behind you, pulling out a chair between him and joohyun as you made your way over to the table. you took your seat, relishing the way the eyes of your friends danced with anticipation. this was your space, your people, and for a moment, everything outside these walls felt distant, irrelevant. one of the younger guys from your department, jaehee, leaned forward, his eyebrows raised in mock curiosity as he studied you and johnny. “oh, what’s this?” he asked, his gaze darting between the two of you. “you two have the same jacket, you almost look like a couple.”

his words earned a few playful jeers from the others, a chorus of knowing smirks and teasing grins circling the table. johnny stayed silent, his expression unreadable as he ran a finger along the rim of his empty glass, eyes trained elsewhere. but you scoffed in disbelief, waving the comment off with a laugh.

“as your senior, i’m offended,” you clicked your tongue, feigning hurt. “and here i was, considering paying for your drink.” your mock indignation drew a few chuckles from the table, though jaehee immediately clasped his hands together in a dramatic display of asking for forgiveness. johnny, however, seemed distant. you glanced his way, expecting a witty remark or at least some acknowledgment of the teasing, but his jaw remained tight, his focus locked on the empty glass before him. something was off, but you couldn’t quite place what it was.

the next half hour dissolved into a whirlwind of drinks and laughter, the room spinning with the lightheaded haze that came with each clink of the glasses. your cheeks flushed, the warmth of alcohol coursing through your veins as you joined in the cheers and toasts. but even in your tipsy state, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was bothering johnny. he sat there, quiet, his usual sharp remarks dulled by whatever was clouding his mood.

mark, one of johnny’s closer friends, leaned over, his grin wide and tipsy as he slurred out an idea. “let’s play a drinking game,” he announced, the table erupting in agreement. but just as quickly, johnny shook his head, pushing away from the table slightly. “i’m out,” he said simply, his voice firm but not aggressive.

you turned to him, frowning at his sudden withdrawal from the fun. “what’s your problem tonight, dude?” the alcohol gave your words an edge they might not have had otherwise, the confusion morphing into irritation. johnny didn’t meet your gaze, just shook his head again, his fingers tapping restlessly on the table. that only deepened your frown, your displeasure clear as you leaned back in your chair. before you could push further, mark chimed in with a laugh, slapping johnny’s shoulder. “he needs to get laid,” he grinned, his voice thick with alcohol-induced confidence. “give him a hand, (y/n).”

you sneered, your hand trembling slightly as you raised the now-empty bottle toward mark, words tumbling from your lips in a mixture of amusement and frustration. “only after i kick your ass,” you shot back, your tone playful but sharp. before you could do anything further, johnny swiftly reached over, plucking the bottle from your grasp and placing it back down on the table with a decisive clink. his expression remained neutral, though there was something firm in the way he moved, like he was pulling you back from a ledge you didn’t even realize you were on.

you stuck your tongue out at him, your way of telling him he was being no fun, but he just shrugged, his eyes betraying none of the thoughts swirling behind them. he was always like this—stubborn, distant when something bothered him. and you knew him well enough to recognize that something was eating at him tonight, even if he wouldn’t say what.

nonetheless, the room buzzed with excitement as the game kicked off, the energy of the group infectious. “shake your hands and take your shots, the game of death chose you!” came the enthusiastic chorus of voices around the table. even johnny joined in, his voice blending with the others, a smirk pulling at his lips despite the slight edge lingering in his mood. his tolerance for alcohol was impressive, but now, with a few drinks down, even he had loosened up enough to fully engage in the fun.

fingers were pointed, accusations flew across the table, and the countdown began. one, two—then, the inevitable happened. mark, poor mark, let out a dramatic cry of defeat, his head dropping to the table as if he had just lost everything. you clasped your hands together in delight, a wicked grin on your face as johnny leaned back with a chuckle, enjoying the spectacle. the entire table erupted in laughter, the kind that echoed through the room, bubbling up from deep within the belly.

“hat off, asshole,” johnny cooed, tugging at the brim of mark's cap, his grin growing wider as he let out a long-suffering sigh, as if preparing himself for some unspeakable punishment. with exaggerated slowness, mark removed his cap, his face twisted in mock despair. “here, here,” you chimed in, leaning forward with a glint in your eye, pulling the hair tie off your wrist. “he gets the hair tie. you reap what you sow, loser.”

mark sighed again, his eyes fluttering shut as you lazily tied his hair into a messy shape resembling a palm tree, earning another round of giggles from the table. it was all ridiculous, but that’s what made it fun. everyone loved a good humiliation as long as it wasn’t their turn to face the table’s judgment. johnny watched in silence, though he couldn’t quite shake the flicker of irritation that crept into his chest as he saw you leaning into mark, the casual way your hands brushed through his hair. he tried to push the feeling aside, taking a long sip from his glass, but it lingered. a part of him wasn’t entertained—at least not by that.

still, the game carried on. johnny refocused, pulling himself out of his own head as he gave Mark a mischievous nudge. "go up to the table across from us," he ordered, his voice low and amused, "ask those girls if you can dance for them." mark rose from his seat with a dramatic groan, stumbling slightly as he approached the two girls sitting at a nearby table. the group watched with rapt attention, stifling their laughter as he awkwardly tried to charm them into his dance. even johnny cracked a grin, though that strange feeling still lurked at the edges of his thoughts, especially when his gaze drifted back to you.

by the time mark returned, his face red and buried in his hands from embarrassment, you were already reclaiming your hair tie with a triumphant smirk. the laughter around the table began to die down, but the game’s energy lingered in the air, thick and buzzing. you poured yourself another drink, your hand surprisingly steady given the number of glasses you’d already downed, and casually poured one for Johnny too. he accepted it with a nod, his fingers brushing yours as he took the glass.

then, jaehee leaned forward, a sly grin creeping onto his face as he cupped his hands around his mouth to get everyone’s attention. “listen up, listen up,” he announced, his voice dropping as if he was about to share some forbidden secret. everyone leaned in, intrigued, their curiosity piqued. you tilted your head, your glass hovering near your lips as you waited for his revelation.

“who did the deed in the student council room last year?” he asked, eyes glinting with mischief. his words were met with a collective gasp from the table, everyone recalling the scandalous rumor that had circulated last year. you couldn’t help but chuckle, shooting johnny a knowing look across the table. you were the first to find out back then, and johnny was the first person you’d told. the memory of it brought a grin to your face.

“quit playing detective,” you slurred, pretending to be serious as you waved a hand dismissively. “you're barking up the wrong tree.” but your words only fanned the flames of anticipation, everyone now eagerly awaiting the revelation. jaehee leaned in closer, much too close for comfort, and johnny shot him a look, his voice low and dangerous. “get the fuck off me,” he muttered, nudging him back.

but jaehee persisted, his eyes gleaming with excitement. “come on, who did it?” you rolled your eyes, but couldn’t resist the temptation of feeding into the suspense. leaning in even closer, your voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper, “really? none of you know?” a chorus of shaking heads followed, and you sighed theatrically before giving in. “it was jaehyun and a freshman.”

the table erupted in shock, gasps and exclamations flying in every direction as everyone turned to one another, exchanging stunned looks. johnny shot you a look too, one eyebrow raised, though there was a glimmer of amusement in his eyes that mirrored your own.

“no wonder you're called (y/n) live,” seulgi teased, raising her glass. “breaking news!” the nickname caught on quickly as the group toasted to your latest piece of gossip. the next hour blurred by in a haze of laughter and drinks, the thrill of your revelation keeping the energy high. it wasn’t until you tried to stand that you realized just how much you had indulged. the world tilted dangerously as you wobbled on your feet, your legs giving out beneath you as you crashed back down into your seat.

“(y/n)? are you okay?” mark asked, concern crossing his features as he leaned forward. but you waved him off with a lazy hand, your vision spinning as you tried to compose yourself. johnny was up in an instant, moving toward you like it was second nature. his hand found your arm, steadying you as you clutched the fabric of his jacket for balance. he leaned down, his voice quiet and close to your ear.

“want me to take you back home?” he asked, his tone soft, protective in a way that wasn’t overbearing but just enough to offer comfort. you shook your head, pushing yourself up again. everyone around the table seemed to be waiting for your answer, the night hanging in the balance.

“the next stop is seulgi’s house,” you slurred, but your voice regained strength as you straightened up, determination flashing across your face. “for the afterparty.” and just like that, the room exploded into cheers once more, the promise of more drinks and more fun driving the night forward, even as johnny cast one last glance your way, concern still lingering in the set of his jaw.

you weren't aware of much, floating somewhere between bliss and tipsy oblivion as johnny carried you on his back. his hands held firmly around your legs, adjusting every few steps to keep his grip tight as you lazily draped your arms over his shoulders. one of your hands held a cigarette, burning slowly in the dim night air. you brought it to your lips, taking a slow drag, feeling the familiar warmth slip through your veins. “do you really have to do that now?” his voice was low, exasperated, as he huffed under your weight, his breath curling into the cool evening.

you grinned lazily, bringing the cigarette up to his lips without a word. he paused, looking ahead for a moment, then gave in and took a drag for himself. you watched the smoke billow from his mouth, your eyes half-lidded as you murmured, “you're welcome,” before nestling your head against his back. you felt his body shift, and though he rolled his eyes, he said nothing, just adjusted his hold on you and kept walking.

seulgi and joohyun were ahead, arms locked, sharing one of those knowing glances you were too hazy to catch. mark, trailing behind them, couldn’t resist inserting himself between the two, throwing his arms around their shoulders as if he belonged there. “is there really nothing going on between them?” he whispered harshly, nodding toward you and johnny. seulgi exchanged another look with joohyun, both stifling giggles. mark persisted, wide-eyed and curious. “what? stop looking at each other. i wanna know, tell me.”

joohyun shook her head with a grin, but seulgi saved in. “she swears there isn’t, but,” she trailed off, leaving the sentence hanging in the air. “but what? what?” mark whined, quickening his pace as the girls sped up, their giggles floating back toward him.

when you finally reached seulgi’s apartment, the atmosphere shifted. there were more drinks, and everyone seemed determined to keep the night alive. bottles of soju passed from hand to hand, and as soon as one reached you, you eagerly reached out, ready to claim it as your own. before you could even feel the cool glass in your palm, though, it was snatched away.

you turned, your expression scrunching into a playful scowl as johnny twisted the bottle in his hand, lifting it to his lips before glancing down at you. “do you wanna die?” you asked sweetly, though the edge of irritation was unmistakable. he scoffed, taking a swig and meeting your gaze with a smirk. “don’t you think you’ve had enough?”

you pretended to think about it, your lips curving into a mischievous smile before you reached up and yanked the bottle back, catching him off guard. “thanks for your concern, dad, much love.” you took a long sip, the burn of the alcohol feeling almost comforting as it slid down your throat. johnny rolled his eyes again, but you didn’t miss the small smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he trailed behind you.

“we’re gonna step out to smoke,” you announced to the group, weaving your way through the circle of friends. jaehee and mark followed without hesitation, eager to join in. as the four of you headed toward the small balcony, you slapped johnny’s back playfully, still fighting for the bottle he was now keeping just out of reach. the night air felt crisp against your skin, a refreshing contrast to the warmth buzzing in your veins. you could still walk, but you weren’t exactly steady.

johnny plopped down on the outdoor sofa, and you followed, letting yourself collapse beside him. without thinking, you shifted, dropping your head onto his lap with a satisfied sigh. he tensed immediately, the sudden weight of you pressing into him clearly catching him off guard. you could feel his hesitation, the way his body stiffened as if unsure how to handle it, but when your eyes met his, something flickered in his expression—something unreadable.

he gulped, but before he could say anything, you seized the opportunity, snatching the bottle from his hand once more. you took a quick sip, then handed it back to him with a grin. “thanks,” you murmured, your voice soft, and for a moment, the world around you seemed to blur, leaving only the two of you in the hazy glow of the night.

meanwhile, jaehee paced around the balcony, his voice rising with a familiar complaint. “guys, you guys,” he slurred, throwing his arms dramatically. “joohyun is so pretty up close. oh, god.”

mark let out a laugh, almost too loud for the quiet night. “we get it already. so tell her,” you snapped, exasperated. “we can’t stand your fawning anymore. grow a pair, get rejected, and move on.” jaehee sighed, his body folding in on itself as he slumped forward, his head in his hands. his unrequited crush was a burden to everyone around him, a fact that seemed to grow more evident with every passing drink.

johnny chuckled quietly beside you, pulling out his vape and taking a long drag. you turned to him, your eyes narrowing as you eyed the device in his hand. “i wanna try,” you demanded, your curiosity piqued. “where’ve you been hiding this?” without missing a beat, he blew a cloud of fruity smoke directly in your face, his lips quirking in amusement. “there you go,” he said, his voice teasing. “like it?”

you scrunched your nose, glaring at him playfully before snatching the vape from his hand. you pressed yourself into him, your body fitting too easily against his as you brought the vape to your lips. he was visibly tense, though he tried to hide it, his eyes flickering between your face and the ground as if he couldn’t decide where to look. mark couldn’t help but notice. “how are you not hot, dude? take your jacket off,” he commented, blowing smoke from his own vape as he gestured toward johnny.

you turned to johnny, your brow furrowing in mock concern. “yeah, take it off. what are you, cold-blooded?” johnny hesitated for a beat, but eventually gave in. with a sigh, he peeled off his leather jacket, revealing the edge of a tattoo peeking out from under his shirt. the second the ink caught the light, both you and mark gasped in unison, your eyes wide with surprise.

“dude, when’d you get tatted?” mark asked, his voice full of awe. you were just as shocked, your fingers instinctively reaching out to trace the visible lines of the tattoo. johnny barely reacted to mark’s question, his attention focused solely on you as your fingertips brushed against his skin. the contact was subtle, but it sent a shiver down his spine, one that you could almost feel beneath your touch.

“you hate it?” he asked, his voice quieter than usual, almost unsure. you shook your head slowly, still tracing the ink with a delicate touch. your fingers tugged at his shirt slightly, exposing a bit more of the design along his collarbone. “it looks really good, actually,” you murmured, your voice soft and sincere. for the first time that night, johnny smiled—an unguarded, genuine smile that seemed to reach all the way to his eyes.

the next day hit you like a truck. your body felt leaden, your mind trapped in a fog that refused to clear. the hangover clung to you, a dull ache that pulsed behind your eyes with every breath, every movement. sleep had been fleeting, and recovery—nonexistent. but there was no time to linger in your misery; it was the day of the flea market, one of the biggest events of the semester. food stalls, fundraisers, and most importantly, the pride of your department—an exhibit of heartfelt student creations—were all on the agenda.

you dragged yourself into the classroom, still feeling half-dead, only to be greeted by your professor’s knowing smile. she stood at the front, arms crossed, watching you with a teasing glint in her eye. “it smells like you’ve had a long night,” she quipped, her tone dripping with amusement. “of preparing for the market, i assume.” you let out a nervous laugh, scratching the back of your neck as you nodded. “obviously,” you said, feigning confidence. “we should consider selling soju, actually.”

your professor clicked her tongue, shaking her head slightly before turning her attention back to the review of preparations. you stifled a sigh, already feeling the weight of exhaustion pressing down on you. the hours that followed were a blur of frantic activity—setting up displays, arranging materials, checking every last detail. it wasn’t that there was an overwhelming amount to do, but the lack of help made it feel like you were tackling a mountain alone. every task felt heavier than it should’ve, your body screaming for rest with each passing minute.

by the time everything came together, you were beyond worn out. the thought of quitting, of abandoning it all, floated through your mind more than once. “i should just drop out,” you muttered under your breath, half-serious. “yup, that’s it.” you shook your head, trying to focus as you thought about your next move. the event hadn’t even started, and you needed a break, badly. a trip to the convenience store seemed like the only thing that could save you at this point.

slipping away from the scene, you made your way to the nearest store, the cool air a temporary reprieve from the heat and noise of the market preparations. you grabbed a few essentials—food, snacks, and, of course, alcohol. your hand hovered over a couple of cans of beer, and without a second thought, you tossed them into your basket. it wasn’t even the late afternoon, but who was keeping track? the fluorescent lights of the store buzzed quietly as you stood in line, your mind somewhere else entirely.

when you finally stepped out of the store, bags in hand, the market had transformed in your absence. the stalls were set up, bustling with energy as vendors finished last-minute preparations. the smell of grilled meat and fried snacks filled the air, mixing with the hum of chatter as students and visitors began to trickle in. you walked slowly, taking in the scene as you made your way back. bright banners fluttered in the breeze, colorful displays lining the path, but your attention was pulled elsewhere.

your gaze landed on your group, specifically johnny, standing at the center of it all, laughing with that familiar, easy smile. he stood taller than the rest, always the anchor of the group, but it wasn’t just his height that drew your eyes today. something else caught your attention—the two girls standing in front of him, both smiling brightly, flirting in a way that made your stomach twist uncomfortably.

this was nothing new. johnny had always been popular, his laid-back demeanor and quiet charm drawing people in. but today, something felt different. it wasn’t just their presence that bothered you. it was the way your chest tightened at the sight of him, his jacket off for the first time in a long while, his tattoo partially exposed. the ink was dark against his skin, catching the light as the girls leaned in, clearly captivated.

you scoffed, pulling the bag higher onto your shoulder as you watched the scene unfold. one of the girls made a move—too bold for her own good—and you could see the subtle shift in johnny’s expression, the moment he let her down easy, polite but distant. they exchanged eye rolls before walking away, defeated, and you couldn’t help but smirk. “what a show,” you teased as you approached him, your tone light but pointed. “you’re quite the catch now that you’re inked up.”

johnny rolled his eyes, though a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he made room for you beside him. “what’s in the bag? what’d you get me?” he asked, his voice casual, though there was an edge of curiosity beneath it. you grinned, pulling out two cans of beer and holding them up triumphantly. his eyes widened for a second before he groaned, pushing your hands back toward the bag.

“shit, put that away,” he muttered, his tone a mix of exasperation and amusement. “you psycho. all you do is drink.” you let out a dramatic sigh, slipping the cans back into the bag. “you’re no fun,” you pouted, kicking your legs up and resting them across his lap. his body tensed under the sudden contact, though you didn’t notice, too distracted by the scene unfolding in front of you.

your eyes landed on jaehyun, dressed in traditional japanese clothing by one of the food stalls, his hands pressed together in a namaste gesture as he spoke to a customer. you burst out laughing, unable to keep it in.

“what the hell is he doing? namaste,” you mocked, mimicking the gesture as you stifled another laugh. “i should start using that.” johnny chuckled beside you, pressing his palms together in imitation. “what would you ever use it for?” he asked through his laughter.

you turned to him, still laughing, but your breath caught when your eyes met his. there was something in the way he looked at you, something that made the world feel smaller, quieter. the noise of the market faded into the background, leaving only the two of you in that moment. it didn’t last long, just a brief flicker of something unspoken. but it was long enough for you to feel your heart skip, a sudden jolt you couldn’t explain. and for the first time in a long while, you wondered why being around johnny made you feel this way. because you knew—it wasn’t just about the tattoo.

just as you pulled out the can of beer you’d been craving all afternoon, a familiar figure appeared out of the corner of your eye. your professor, her sharp eyes sweeping the market, walked toward you with a faint smile playing on her lips. she settled herself on the steps above, overlooking the both of you. you straightened up slightly, exchanging quick, sheepish glances with johnny as you greeted her. “well, well,” she said, folding her hands neatly in her lap, “enjoying the festivities?”

you both nodded, doing your best to appear composed despite the weariness clinging to you like a second skin. the professor’s gaze drifted across the market, her eyes landing on jaehyun, who was still stationed at his stall, gracefully bowing to another customer, his outfit swaying lightly in the breeze. “jeong jaehyun, right?” she asked, her voice cutting through the soft hum of the crowd. you both nodded in unison. “that’s him,” you confirmed.

a small smile tugged at her lips. “i remember him. he’s good at what he does.” neither of you responded immediately, unsure if there was more to the statement. you exchanged a glance with johnny, who, true to form, remained silent, staring at the ground as though it held the answers to all of life’s questions.

then, the professor turned her attention fully to the two of you, her eyes glinting with a curiosity you hadn’t anticipated. her tone softened, almost as though she was asking something of little consequence. “are you two dating?” the question hung in the air, far heavier than it should have been. you barely had time to react before johnny tensed beside you, his gaze fixed stubbornly on the floor. he said nothing. the silence stretched, becoming more uncomfortable by the second.

you broke it with a laugh, the kind of laugh that bubbled up naturally, as if the whole notion were ridiculous. “absolutely not. never ever ever ever,” you said, chuckling through your words. but the professor didn’t seem convinced. she raised a brow, her smile growing ever so slightly. “why not? kids like you always end up getting together.”

her words felt oddly deliberate, and you could sense johnny beside you wishing for the conversation to be over. anything to stop your amused laughter and the strange, lingering feeling the question left behind. you shook your head, still grinning. “we’re the exception, don’t worry,” you assured her, your tone light, though you noticed johnny shift slightly beside you, as though the whole conversation had put him on edge.

the professor let out a soft hum of acknowledgment, clearly unconvinced but willing to drop it for now. she rose to her feet, brushing off her skirt with a practiced motion. “i’ll be off then,” she said, glancing at both of you. “don’t cause any trouble—and make sure to clean up after.” you both nodded in response, watching her walk away, the air still thick with the weight of her question. the moment she was out of sight, you leaned back against johnny’s shoulder with a dramatic sigh, your legs still draped over his lap as you fished another beer out of the bag.

without missing a beat, you cracked the can open with a satisfied exhale, but before you could even take a sip, Johnny’s hand shot out, snatching it from you with ease. you let out a whine of protest. “no, no,” he teased, raising the can to his lips as he took a swig. “i’m sorry, we don’t serve alcohol here.” you glared at him, snatching the can back with a huff. “let me live,” you groaned, bringing the can to your lips and finally taking a sip, savoring the cold bitterness as it slid down your throat.

johnny shook his head in disbelief, his lips twitching with amusement. “is all you do drink?” he asked, his voice laced with mock exasperation. “aren’t you gonna drink at the after-party tonight anyway?” you waved him off with a dismissive hand, not in the mood for his nagging. “you nag me more than my mom does. it’s heartbreaking,” you said dramatically, your gaze wandering up to the sky, watching the soft hues of the evening begin to deepen.

johnny rolled his eyes, though there was a hint of fondness in the gesture. “whatever, dude. just know i’m not gonna carry your ass back home.” you chuckled softly, closing your eyes for a moment as the weight of the day finally started to catch up to you. you knew how these nights went—the drinking, the laughter, the inevitable crash. and yet, you couldn’t help but grin as you leaned further into him, completely unbothered.

johnny wished, more than anything, that he had signed some kind of contract earlier that day—one that would have absolved him of the responsibility of carrying your drunk, disorderly self. this had happened so many times before, but this time felt different. you had gone too far. again.

the night had stretched long past its welcome, the bars closing one by one, until the last stragglers stumbled out into the streets. most of the group had already gone home, leaving johnny with the burden of getting you on your feet. you sat slumped on the curb, outside the entrance of the bar, refusing to move. strangers walked by, some giving curious glances, but most too busy with their own drunken states to notice.

johnny stood a few feet away, his hands shoved deep into his pockets, staring at you with a mix of amusement and exasperation. you were making a scene, but you didn’t care. you never cared when you reached this point. “hey, let's go. come on,” he said, his voice laced with tired patience as he approached. “everyone’s gone already.” he nudged your shoulder lightly with his foot, but all you did was groan in response.

when it became clear that words weren’t going to work, he crouched down behind you, his body close enough that you could feel the heat radiating off him. his hands rested on your shoulders, and you could smell the faint trace of cologne lingering in the fabric of his jacket. it was a smell you had grown accustomed to, yet tonight, with the alcohol swimming in your veins, it seemed stronger, more distracting.

“i’m gonna leave without you, you need to get a hold of yourself,” he muttered, though he knew it was a hollow threat. johnny wasn’t going to leave you behind. he never did. you didn’t respond, too caught up in the sensation of his presence behind you—his breath warm against the back of your neck, his hands steady and sure. the world was a blur, but somehow, the closeness of him was the one thing that cut through the haze. you tilted your head back against his arm, your eyes half-lidded as you looked up at him.

“do you know what time it is? we gotta go, man,” he said again, his voice breaking the silence that had settled between you. but you didn’t answer. you just stared at him, catching the flicker of nerves in his eyes as he held your gaze. for a second, he seemed caught off guard, the usually calm and collected johnny looking at you as if he didn’t know what to do next. then, without thinking—because thinking was far beyond you now—your finger flew up to press against his lips, silencing whatever words were about to tumble out of his mouth.

“just shut up,” you slurred, your finger still resting gently against his lips. his eyes widened in shock, his whole body freezing as the world around him seemed to stop. he stared at you, stunned, his mind racing to catch up to what was happening. your words hung heavy in the air, their weight sinking into his chest. “i never noticed before,” you mumbled, your voice low and slurred, “but you’re handsome up close.”

that was it. the world tilted slightly, the alcohol and the intimacy of the moment crashing together in his head like waves against the shore. johnny’s heart was pounding in his chest, each beat louder than the last, his skin burning from the heat of the situation, from the way your finger still lingered against his lips. your finger slowly fell away, but the space it left behind was almost unbearable. before he could fully process it, before he could even think of what to do, you grabbed the back of his head, your fingers threading through his hair as you pulled him down. and then, your lips were on his.

the kiss was messy, uncoordinated, a clash of warmth and alcohol-fueled impulsiveness. johnny’s brain screamed at him to react, to pull away, but his body refused to listen. he was too stunned to do anything but sit there, eyes wide, breath caught in his throat, as you pressed into him, your lips soft against his. it was a sensation he hadn’t expected—hadn’t even allowed himself to imagine. when you finally pulled away, leaving a cold void between you, your eyes met his, heavy-lidded and searching. for a moment, neither of you moved, the tension between you thick and electric.

then, as if the shock had worn off, johnny’s hand reached out, pulling you back in. this time, he wasn’t frozen. his lips found yours again, and this time, they moved in sync with yours, each movement slow and deliberate. it was nothing like the first kiss—this one was softer, deeper. johnny’s hand cradled the back of your head as he kissed you again, his mind no longer racing, no longer trying to make sense of what was happening. all he knew was the taste of your lips, the warmth of your skin, and the way the world seemed to shrink down to just the two of you, sitting on a curb in the middle of the night.

he was completely, utterly lost. he was lost in it, in you, in the sensation of you. he was lost in the way you milked him dry, giving him the perfect view of your tits bouncing in his face as you pressed your palms against the wall in front of you, leaning forward with your back arched as you met his pace with swift, harsh bounces with a cigarette in your mouth. he was lost in the way you moaned his name, begging him to go harder, faster before whispering sweet nothings into his ear to push him off the edge. “tearing my pussy open, fuck,” you purred, your breath hot against his ear as the tip of your tongue danced alongside his earlobe, voice muffled with the filter between your lips. “fuck me so good, gonna make me squirt all over this dick.”

he was absolutely lost in it, letting himself absorb the sheer filth of it all. he allowed himself those few minutes of escape, of temporary pleasure. his hands groped the flesh of your tits, squeezing the soft skin and probing at your sensitive nipples. his mind was a mess as his hands slid down your waist before stopping at your hips, cupping your ass. he leaned forward to take your tit into his mouth, letting the other one collide with his cheek as he sucked around your nipple. his hands spanked the soft of your ass, his thumb coming down to probe at your tight, sensitive asshole. he’d never fully push it in, he’d just keep it there long enough to hear you moan some more, to feel you clench around nothing but his fingernail.

“you’re so pretty,” the praise would always come through before johnny could stop himself, the words leaving a bitter aftertaste as they passed his lips. he hated himself for speaking his thoughts aloud, even if it wasn’t intentional. he hated himself even more when you didn’t respond, flashing him a mere smile in response. you were too lost in what he had to offer, your cunt clenching around his dick as you leaned forward to press your lips to his. you placed a single kiss to his lips, enough to give him a taste of the smoke. you pulled away to press the filter to his lips, watching with hungry eyes as he took a long drag.

his favorite part seemed to be kissing you. it felt more intimate than the sex itself. he didn’t hesitate to kiss you back, he knew he’d give in one way or another. his lips clashed with yours, melting against them as he cupped your cheek. he exhaled, blowing the smoke into your mouth as his tongue traced your bottom lip. you kissed him with desire, hunger, all the while he kissed you as if you were fragile, like you were on the verge of breaking. “your dick’s so fucking big, ’m close,” you whined, breaking the kiss to press your forehead against his.

he was just as close, thrusting upwards to match your speed. he practically felt his eyes roll into the back of his head as you tightened around his dick, your thighs slick with your juices and spread to give him the perfect view of your cunt swallowing him whole. you were greedy, but you were tempting, so he let you have him. he wanted more than what you were offering him, but he knew his chances were less than slim. the two of you had allowed yourselves to break the first rule of friendship between men and women, and he had no interest in knowing what would happen the next morning. in fact, he wasn’t even thinking about it. the alcohol had absorbed his mind so nicely that he was unable to focus on anything but you, you and you.

“cum inside me,” you exhaled, your hair plastered to your forehead with sweat. you had never looked more tempting, riding his dick with a cigarette limp between your lips, tits shaking with every thrust he had to offer. “know you want to, johnny.” of course he wanted to, who wouldn’t? he wrapped his arms around your waist to pull you in once more as his balls slapped against your ass, the angle allowing him to hit all the right spots.

your best friend groaned in your ear, the sound of his raspy voice shooting straight through your core as you felt the coil in your stomach tighten. you could practically feel him coming up your ribcage as he held you close, pounding into your pussy with all his might. the cigarette trembled between your fingers and, soon enough, you found yourself tossing it aside, your limbs too numb to hold onto anything but the weight of your lust. you tried to reassure yourself that this was no different fro. your usual activities, that it wouldn’t strain your friendship. you wanted to believe it wouldn’t make things weird.

“i’m gonna—” johnny cut himself off with a grunt, his fingers wrapping around the flesh of your hips as he lifted himself once more, filling your pussy to the brim with a loud moan. he let go, his cock throbbing with your walls clenching around it as he came inside you, shooting thick ropes of sticky white into you. it felt too good, all of it. he loved how warm you were, how tight you felt, how he felt like he was breaking you with nothing but the size of his cock. the way you bit down on his tatted shoulder only confirmed his thought.

you moaned at the feeling of his hot cum seeping into your cunt, the scent of smoke lingering in his mouth as you kissed him once more. then, you felt yourself fall apart. you came just as hard, your vision going blurry as you clenched around his softening cock, pussy tightening around it as it spasmed some more, as if to tell you that you had milked it dry once again. you fell apart as you leaned back onto your elbows, spreading your legs farther apart to give johnny one last peek. he saw it, the way his cock slipped out of you and pushed against your slit, oozing with cum he didn’t even know he had in him. he watched the way your cunt throbbed, some of his seed spilling out as you did so. his cock felt hot against your naked thigh, threatening to harden a second time. the opportunity never came, unfortunately, as the exhaustion had a way of overpowering the two of you.

the morning unfolded in a muted haze, each moment stretching out painfully as you navigated through the aftermath of the night before. the air felt heavy, and every sound seemed amplified in the silence of your room. you stood in the shower, the hot water cascading over you, but all it did was intensify the flood of thoughts racing through your mind. “how could you have slept with him?” you cursed yourself repeatedly, the echo of your own voice drowned by the rush of water. “of all people—your best friend. you’ve really fucked this one up.”

you scrubbed at your skin as if trying to wash away the shame and confusion that clung to you, but it was no use. the image of johnny’s euphoric expression, the warmth of his breath against your lips, and the weight of his body pressing into yours lingered like an unwanted tattoo etched in your mind. you knew he must have hated you for what had happened; there was no other explanation.

you paced back and forth in your room, drying your hair with one hand while the other fiddled with your towel. “he’s definitely gonna end our friendship,” you muttered, the words tasting bitter on your tongue. “can’t let that happen. i won’t.” determination flooded your veins, pushing back the rising tide of despair. you had to face him. you couldn’t let this ruin everything you had built together.

finally, after what felt like an eternity of agonizing over every possible outcome, you stepped back into the shared space. the sunlight streamed in through the window, illuminating the room in a soft glow, but the beauty of it all was lost on you. johnny was sitting in front of the mirror, hands clasped in his lap, his gaze locked on his reflection. what had he done?

the sight of him sent a pang of regret through your chest, and before you could gather your thoughts, you tripped over the edge of the doorframe, stumbling into the room. a loud clatter echoed through the quiet, and you hissed in pain as you hit the floor. “are you okay?” his voice cut through the silence, concern lacing his tone as he turned to face you.

“oh, yeah. i’m good,” you replied, forcing a nervous laugh as you pushed yourself back to your feet, trying to brush off the embarrassment. but his serious demeanor sent a wave of unease through you. “could we talk for a bit?” his tone was soft yet edged with an underlying tension, and you nodded quietly.

the silence stretched uncomfortably, wrapping around you like a thick fog. you let out a nervous laugh, desperate to break the ice. “woah, i must have alcohol-related dementia, dude,” you said, feigning concern as you tapped your head. “i don’t remember anything, so maybe—” but he cut you off, his voice now colder, sharper. “what? it was all a mistake?”

you froze, the gravity of his words sinking in. you couldn’t let this ruin everything. “yeah, we both made a mistake. we were drunk, right?” your voice was steady, but doubt crept in as you saw something shift in his expression—something dark, something that made you wish you could take back your words. he pulled his shirt over his head, an action so mundane that it sent your heart racing with a different kind of confusion. “since we made a mistake, nothing has to change between us. don’t you think?” the question hung in the air, but he offered no response.

“i'm leaving,” he finally said, his tone abrupt, the finality of it sending a chill through you. you had never seen him like this—so distant, so cold, and the sight of it felt like a knife twisting in your gut. “wait!” you called out, desperation spilling into your voice, but it was too late. he stormed out, slamming the door shut behind him with a resounding thud that echoed in the stillness of the room.

you stared at the closed door, your heart sinking. “shit, dammit. what have i done?” you muttered, the words barely above a whisper as you leaned your head against the wall, the coolness of it doing little to ease the warmth creeping to your cheeks. the panic set in, swirling in your chest like a storm. you were totally, utterly screwed.

the warm, fragrant steam wafting from the bowl of hangover soup enveloped you as you sat in the cozy little restaurant, seeking solace in its rich, comforting broth. each spoonful felt like a balm for your weary soul, a temporary reprieve from the relentless pounding in your head. you stared into the bowl, your mind drifting through the hazy remnants of the previous night, replaying every moment like a film stuck on repeat. just as you began to find some peace within the familiar flavors, the tranquility shattered with the entrance of a familiar figure.

“jeong jaehyun?” you scoffed, catching a glimpse of him as he strolled by, all confidence and charm, his laughter echoing softly as he greeted someone on the other side of the room. you couldn’t help but chuckle to yourself, “namaste,” you mumbled, amused by the ridiculousness of it all. yet, as you continued eating, your smile faded, quickly replaced by the weight of your earlier encounter with johnny.

you returned to your soup, lost in your thoughts, when another figure captured your attention. this time, the atmosphere shifted as johnny strolled in, his expression unreadable. your heart raced as he plopped down across from you, and you nearly choked on your soup. for a moment, neither of you spoke. the silence stretched, thick and tense, as if the air itself was waiting with bated breath. then, finally, he broke it. “last night wasn’t a mistake for me,” he admitted, his voice steady but tinged with something deeper, something that sent a jolt through you.

you blinked, disbelief washing over your features. “and things won’t be the same for me, not anymore,” he continued, and your stomach twisted as you processed his words. “i don’t think i can just pretend it didn’t happen.” your eyes fluttered shut, and you exhaled an exasperated sigh. couldn’t he see how complicated this was? you had been careful, guarded—emotions were messy, and you didn’t want to get caught in the web of your own heart. “so, what’s gonna happen now?” you asked, setting your spoon down with a clink that echoed in the stillness between you.

“i don’t think i can be your friend now,” he stated, and with each word, you felt the reality of the situation sink in like a heavy stone. your eyes widened in realization, shock flooding through you. “i want you to be my girlfriend,” he said, his voice steady but vulnerable, as if he were laying bare his soul on the table between you.

stunned, you stared at him, mouth slightly agape. “you want us to date just because we slept together once?” you scoffed, incredulity bubbling to the surface. “do you even like me?” his silence was a heavy weight, pressing down on both of you. yes, johnny so desperately wanted to say, yes. but he knew better than to voice it; the fear of rejection loomed larger than his desire to confess.

“see, you can’t even answer that,” you said, your tone softening as the initial shock began to subside, replaced by something heavier—an aching uncertainty. he sighed, his shoulders slumping as if the weight of the world rested upon them. “okay,” he conceded, voice quiet but resolute. “if that’s how you feel, i’ll take care of my feelings.” the finality of his words hung in the air like a thread, ready to snap. but without another glance, he stood up, his chair scraping against the floor with a painful sound.

“what? wait!” you called out, desperation coloring your voice. you wanted to know what was next, where this left you both. but your plea echoed unanswered, only drawing the attention of the nearby diners, their curious gazes flicking toward the two of you. johnny didn’t stop; he was already gone, leaving you alone amidst the clamor of the restaurant. you had opened pandora’s box the moment you kissed him, and now, everything was unraveling.

the hangover that had clung to you since morning seemed to dissolve as the news of jaehyun treating the group to pizza settled in. your appetite, long dormant, returned in full force, and despite the swirling confusion in your mind, the thought of warm, cheesy pizza made your stomach growl. but with that bit of good news came an unwelcome thread of tension—your thoughts immediately jumped to jaehyun, and the secret you’d let slip a few nights before. had someone told him? did he know?

by the time you and the others arrived at the restaurant, the question still haunted you, but you masked it with a neutral smile as you slid into the seat next to jaehyun. he gave you a polite smile, the kind that was effortlessly charming but hard to read. “hey, haven’t seen you in a while,” he greeted, his tone light but pointed.

“yeah, could say the same,” you responded, a nervous smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. the memory of last night’s slip-up echoed in your mind, but before either of you could dive deeper into the conversation, joohyun and seulgi appeared at the table, their presence cutting through the awkwardness. “thanks again, jae,” seulgi chimed, and jaehyun just nodded in his easygoing way. you almost felt a sense of relief, but it was fleeting.

mark and jaehee showed up shortly after, their energy infectiously bright as they took their seats. you turned to greet them, but the moment you did, your heart stopped. johnny was walking with them, and the second you caught sight of him, everything inside you froze. instinctively, you whipped back around, heart pounding in your chest as you tried to compose yourself. but it was impossible to ignore the magnetic pull of his presence; your eyes found his across the table, and suddenly, everything else faded into the background. it was silent and unbearably awkward. the look in his eyes was unreadable, but you couldn’t seem to tear yourself away.

“is it just me or did it just get cold in here?” mark asked with a shiver, his innocent comment cutting through the palpable tension. “you’re totally right, i felt a chill,” jaehee added, throwing a knowing glance around the table. jaehyun shot a quick look between you and johnny, but before he could say anything, the pizza arrived, mercifully shifting the mood. the mixed array of seafood, vegetables, and meat was laid out before you, and you seized the opportunity to break the moment, reaching for a slice—though all you did was pluck a piece of shrimp from it, trying to distract yourself.

“you liar, you said you were on a diet,” joohyun teased, breaking the tension with a playful grin. you waved the shrimp in her face with a smile of your own. “obviously, that’s why i’m only going for the shrimp,” you quipped, trying to ease the growing discomfort in your chest. but just as you thought you might be able to relax, jaehyun’s voice pulled your attention.

“a diet? why, are you seeing someone?” his question was innocent enough, but it hit you square in the chest, your heart sinking as you forced out a laugh. “as if,” you replied, the smile slipping from your face as you caught a glimpse of johnny across the table. “you guys know me better than that.” the words barely left your lips when you noticed the way johnny’s expression fell. his face shifted, and for a brief moment, something in you ached at the sight. but before you could dwell on it, mark, oblivious to the growing tension, slapped his chest dramatically as if struck by a revelation.

“now that we’re talking about it,” he began, addressing johnny with a grin. “how would you like to go on a blind date?” a blind date? you nearly choked on the words as they hit you, your surprise mirrored by johnny’s reaction. it was written all over your face as you watched his expression shift, his attention now fully on mark. “with who?” he asked, his voice calm, but you could sense the curiosity laced within it.

mark leaned in, his smile broadening as he wrapped an arm around johnny’s shoulders. “with my friend. she saw a picture of us and is interested in meeting you.” he sounded excited, unaware of the tightening knot forming in your chest. you noticed Joohyun casting a knowing glance your way, her smirk unmistakable. and though you tried to brush it off, the sting was there, sharp and cutting. johnny seemed genuinely intrigued, and for reasons you couldn’t quite explain, it made something inside you twist painfully. the urge to speak up was overwhelming.

“tell your friend,” you interrupted, your voice steady but betraying your inner turmoil, “that seeing any guy just because she’s lonely won’t end well for her. lonely people will still be lonely even if they date.” the second the words slipped out, you regretted them. the entire table fell silent, all eyes turning toward you, even johnny’s. the weight of your own statement hung in the air, thick and uncomfortable. his gaze, cool and unwavering, pierced through you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look away. his next words were measured, deliberate, as if meant just for you.

“tell your friend,” he began, his voice low, eyes still locked on yours, “that i’m more than interested.” the table erupted into cheers, mark and jaehee clapping in excitement, but you couldn’t bring yourself to join them. the bitter taste of jealousy lingered in your mouth, and though you had no right to feel this way, the emotions churned violently within you. you should’ve been happy for him, for his chance to move on. but as you sat there, staring at him, all you could think about was the shift that had occurred between you. and worse, the possibility that you had lost him for good.

you had sworn you’d keep your mind off johnny tonight, but as the hours dragged on, your resolve crumbled. the stupid dating app you relied on felt more pointless than ever, but it was the only distraction you had. someone named doyoung had caught your attention—well, enough to pull you through another empty evening. his messages were blunt, devoid of charm, but that suited you fine tonight. you didn’t have the energy for anything more. you didn’t want to feel.

“so, should we have a drink first?” his voice barely registered, and frankly, you weren’t even sure his name was doyoung. you were already too tired to care. “or should we just get a place to fuck?” the crudeness of his words slid over you like rainwater. you barely flinched. “i don’t know, whatever you want,” you replied, your tone flat, uninterested. everything around you felt muted, dull. the walk to the bar had been just as cold as your mood, and the cool night air did nothing to clear your head.

you didn’t catch most of what doyoung said next, his voice dissolving into the background as your attention shifted. it wasn’t the open bar that caught your eye—it was the people inside. or rather, him. johnny. and he wasn’t alone.

your heart plummeted at the sight of him, seated at a table with a girl who was undeniably pretty. too pretty. you knew exactly who she was—the blind date mark had set up, the girl who had shown interest in johnny. she was laughing at something he said, leaning in closer, her eyes wide and animated, and the worst part? the smile on johnny’s face. that smile, the one you thought was reserved for moments only the two of you shared. the sight of it on his face while he sat next to her made your stomach churn.

“you know what? let’s drink here,” you blurted out, cutting doyoung off mid-sentence, not even giving him time to process the change in plans. before he could say anything, you grabbed him by the sleeve and pulled him toward the entrance, your steps quick and impulsive. embarrassment threatened to flood your chest, but you shoved it aside. how could you care about something like that when johnny was right there with someone else?

you pushed your way through the door, the air inside warm compared to the biting cold of the night. the bar was lit, cozy in a way that didn’t match the knot of tension building in your gut. without hesitating, you yanked out a chair and sat down at the table right beside johnny and his date. you could feel doyoung lingering behind you, confused but compliant, sitting down awkwardly.

the girl didn’t seem to notice, too wrapped up in whatever she was saying to johnny, but he noticed. the moment he saw you, his body tensed, his hand pausing mid-motion, nearly causing him to choke on his drink. you caught the subtle widening of his eyes, the faltering of his smile, and it made your pulse race. “are you alright?” the girl asked him, concerned, and to your horror, she gently reached over to wipe his mouth with a napkin. you felt something in you snap. the intimacy of the gesture, the way she doted on him so casually, it made your blood simmer with a slow burn you couldn’t ignore.

johnny mumbled, “yeah, i’m fine,” but his eyes never left yours. there was a tension there, something hanging heavy in the space between you, and for a moment, the rest of the world seemed to blur out of focus. doyoung was saying something next to you, but you couldn’t hear him. all you could do was watch johnny, and he watched you right back. the girl turned back to her drink, oblivious to the silent exchange happening between you and her date. you couldn’t stand it any longer. the weight of it all—his new date, the memory of the night you shared, the way he still looked at you like nothing had changed, yet everything had—it was unbearable.

“on second thought,” you said, standing up abruptly, “let’s drink somewhere else.” your voice came out harsher than you intended, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. the words were sharp, and the moment was suffocating. doyoung didn’t argue. he didn’t have to. the look on johnny’s face told you everything you needed to know—and the look you gave him in return? it spoke volumes. but neither of you said a word. Instead, you turned on your heel and walked out, the cold air hitting your face as you left the bar behind, but the tension from inside followed.

you didn’t even sleep with doyoung that night. not that you ever intended to, not really. the weight of everything had sunk too deep in your bones, leaving you tired and restless at the same time. you lied, telling him you had a headache, watching as disappointment briefly flashed across his face before he nodded. the night fizzled out into nothing, and though you managed to fall asleep, it was fitful, and the morning came too soon.

when you woke, the weight of last night still clung to you like a second skin. the frustration hadn’t faded; it had only settled deeper. you dragged yourself through your routine, still fed up, still over it all, and that mood followed you to your classes. normally, you’d exchange greetings or at least acknowledge the smiles thrown your way, but today you couldn’t be bothered. you brushed past them, head down, the clamor of the hallways nothing but a blur of voices.

in the classroom, you practically collapsed into your chair with a heavy sigh, dropping your bag beside you. you closed your eyes, hoping for just a moment of peace. “hey, what’s up with you?” jaehee’s familiar voice cut through your thoughts. he flicked a strand of your hair with a teasing smile, always too perceptive for his own good. “don’t even,” you groaned, swatting his hand away lazily. “too early for your bullshit.”

he chuckled, but before he could say anything more, mark burst into the room, his excitement radiating from him like a shot of caffeine. “guys, guys, guys! this is so big,” he practically shouted, breathless as he skidded to a halt by your desk. his energy was contagious, but you were too far gone to care.

you tried to focus on his words, but it was impossible, especially when johnny followed right behind him. his presence drew your attention like a magnet, even if you wanted to ignore it. he strolled in casually, but when his eyes met yours, they immediately flickered away, his head dropping low as if he didn’t want to be seen. it stung, more than you cared to admit, and you scoffed under your breath. jaehee was already leaning forward, eager for whatever mark had to say. “what? what now?” he asked, practically vibrating with curiosity.

mark pulled up a chair, sliding into the space between you and jaehee, his eyes darting around like he was about to reveal some top-secret information. “jaehyun totally knows we know his big secret,” he whispered, glancing dramatically between you and jaehee. you barely listened, your attention still on johnny. he wasn’t looking at you anymore, but you felt the tension hanging in the air between you like a tightrope about to snap. every little gesture, every glance was loud in its silence.

jaehee let out an exaggerated sigh, completely absorbed in the gossip. “his sex scandal is the best thing i’ve heard all year,” he said with a satisfied grin, turning to you with his hands pressed together the same way jaehyun had. “namaste, (y/n).” you just rolled your eyes, too exhausted to even respond. the scandal, jaehyun, all of it seemed so trivial now compared to the mess you’d tangled yourself in.

before you could even think of something to say, johnny’s voice sliced through the conversation like ice. “sorry to interrupt your gossip circle, but we should hurry up with the art venue.” jaehee and mark murmured in agreement, but you weren’t finished. your frustration boiled over, and before you could stop yourself, you scoffed aloud. “must be in a big hurry to go on a date.”

you hadn’t meant for it to be heard. you thought it was a mutter, a private sting of bitterness for your own ears only. but no. the second the words left your mouth, you knew you’d made a mistake. the room went still, and you felt johnny’s gaze snap to you. his look was hard, challenging, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly as if daring you to say more. “yeah, how’d you know?” his voice was sharp, almost condescending, the words cutting through the tension like a blade.

the sarcasm stung, and you couldn’t help yourself. “asshole,” you muttered under your breath, just loud enough for him to hear, before standing abruptly, slinging your bag over your shoulder. you didn’t bother waiting for a response, didn’t care to see the reactions from mark or jaehee. you just needed to get out of there. you stormed out, the noise of the room already behind you, but their voices still echoed in your mind. you knew they’d talk about it. you knew they’d wonder what had gotten into you, what had caused the sharpness between you and johnny. but you didn’t care. you were done listening, done pretending.

walking down the street during your break, the weight of the morning still clung to you. the frustration, the sleeplessness—it all pressed down, leaving you exasperated, thirsty, and just done with everything. you passed cafes and restaurants, each one tempting you with the promise of air-conditioning and iced drinks. but it wasn’t until you spotted a small café, its glass window gleaming in the afternoon light, that something finally caught your eye.

it wasn’t the café itself or the ice cream shop connected to it that made you stop mid-step. no, it was the familiar figure inside that pulled you to a halt, your heart sinking instantly. “johnny?” you murmured under your breath, squinting as if that would somehow change the reality of what you were seeing.

you took a step closer to the window, hoping, praying even, that maybe you were mistaken. but of course, you weren’t. it was him. and, of course, he wasn’t alone. that same girl was sitting across from him, leaning in close as they talked, laughing and eating ice cream together like it was the most normal thing in the world.

a bitter laugh escaped you, low and incredulous. “no fucking way,” you whispered to yourself, eyes narrowing. the sight of johnny, with her, at a café, chatting and laughing, was already enough to twist a knot of irritation in your chest. but it wasn’t just that. no, it was what he was holding in his hand that made the blood rush to your ears.

you couldn’t believe it. the ice cream in his hand, the one he was eating so casually, was the exact flavor that had once united the two of you in disgust. mint chocolate. that flavor. you had talked about it with him, joked about how it tasted like toothpaste, how neither of you could stand it. and now, there he was, happily eating it with her, like none of that mattered anymore. “that son of a bitch,” you muttered, the disbelief turning quickly to anger. you could feel your heart pounding, a bitter taste creeping up your throat. you remembered the day like it had just happened.

it was a few months back, during a group hangout. seulgi had been ordering ice cream for everyone, scrolling through the options on her phone. when johnny walked in, you asked him what flavor he wanted. he slid into the seat beside you as seulgi mentioned getting mint chocolate as her third scoop. both you and johnny had shot her the same look of disgust, so perfectly in sync that seulgi had paused, confused. “what?” she asked, looking between the two of you.

“that’s disgusting,” you had said, your voice filled with mock horror. “yeah, you like eating toothpaste or something?” johnny had added, his face twisted in the same playful revulsion. you both shared a knowing look then, a moment of perfect camaraderie as you dapped each other up, leaving seulgi baffled. it had been one of those little moments that cemented your connection, a silly joke that felt like yours alone.

and now, that same connection felt like it was slipping through your fingers. there he was, eating her ice cream, laughing with her. the same johnny who had once called mint chocolate “toothpaste” now sat across from someone else, seemingly oblivious to everything you had shared. you didn’t want to watch anymore. you had seen enough. you had felt enough. with a bitter scoff, you turned away from the window, your heart pounding with something that felt all too much like betrayal. you didn’t know why it hurt so much—it was just ice cream, just a stupid flavor. but it wasn’t, not really. it was the principle of it, the small betrayal of something that had once made sense between you two, now shattered.

you had pushed yourself over the edge. the drinks had blurred into each other, one after the next, until all you could think about was johnny—his touch, his warmth, the way his smile used to light up his entire face. the memory of him tugged at your mind, shifting from simple thoughts to something more intimate: the scent of his skin, the taste of his kiss, the way his eyes used to lock with yours, as if telling you something without saying a word. you remembered the look he gave you, the one that seemed to say “i love you,” and how you had let it all slip away so easily.

that was why you were now slumped over outside the bar, unable to pull yourself together, the world spinning wildly around you. your body felt heavy, sluggish, and somewhere in the background, you heard mark’s voice, too enthusiastic for the state you were in. “should we go for more drinks?” he asked, but his suggestion was met with disapproval. “we gotta get (y/n) up,” jaehee responded, his voice dripping with concern. everyone seemed to be murmuring in agreement, encouraging you, nudging you to pull yourself together. but you couldn’t. not when johnny consumed your every thought.

while you struggled to stay coherent, johnny was at home, leaning against the railing of his balcony, a can of beer in his hand. the night air was cool, refreshing, but it did nothing to clear the turmoil in his mind. he drank in silence, each sip a reminder of you—of how complicated things had gotten, of how much you confused him, and yet, how much he still cared. his phone buzzed, the screen lighting up with mark’s name. he sighed, half-hoping it would be you on the other end.

“what is it?” johnny answered, the weariness in his voice clear. “yo, you know where (y/n) lives, don’t you? tell me her address,” mark slurred, the telltale signs of alcohol heavy in his voice.

“what do you need it for?” johnny asked, his concern sharpening. “she’s totally wasted, so i’m gonna call her a taxi,” mark explained, and johnny felt his entire body tense. in an instant, the fog of his own buzz dissipated. “i’ll be right there,” he cut in before mark could say anything else. “don’t call a cab. i’ll take care of her.” the call ended abruptly, leaving mark no time to argue.

johnny arrived shortly after in a cab of his own, pulling up just outside the bar. he could hear jaehee muttering something about how expensive the ride must have been, but johnny ignored it, his focus entirely on you. you, sitting on the curb, your hair a mess, your face flushed from too much alcohol, your shoulders slouched in defeat. “go home,” he told the others, his voice firm. “i’ll take care of her.” though hesitant, they eventually nodded, leaving you two alone in the quiet of the night.

“(y/n),” he said softly, nudging your boot with his foot. “come on, get up.” it took a moment, but something in his voice must have registered with you. with a deep, weary sigh, you pushed your hair out of your face and sat up. your gaze met his, and the world around you seemed to slow down. without a word, johnny slipped off his jacket, draping it over your lap. as you glanced at his tattoo, still visible under the dim streetlight, you felt a lump rise in your throat.

he crouched down in front of you and turned his back. “come on, get on,” he gestured, offering to carry you. but you didn’t move. you couldn’t. the second you tried, the tears began to fall, slipping down your cheeks faster than you could stop them. johnny turned immediately, eyes wide with panic. “what? are you crying?” his voice was almost gentle, but you couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“how could you do something like that to me, you asshole?” you cried, your words broken by sobs. johnny froze for a second before reaching out to wipe away your tears, but you pushed his hand away, shaking your head. “no, don’t touch me. i don’t wanna be anywhere near a liar like you,” you sniffled, your voice thick with pain.

johnny sighed heavily, clearly exhausted. "what did i do? you're too drunk to make sense right now." he turned his back to you again, insisting, “just get on my back.”

but instead, you swatted him, hard, making him wince in pain. "you're an ass," you cried out, your voice wavering with hurt. “what’s wrong with you?” he asked, rubbing his back.

“you said you hated mint chocolate,” you finally cracked, your voice a mess of frustration and tears. “all this time, i thought you hated it, but i guess you like her enough to like it, you asshole.” johnny blinked, clearly taken aback. “what?”

“and you said you wanted to go out with me,” you continued, choking on your sobs. “get lost. i refuse to talk to a guy who likes mint chocolate.” you covered your ears with your hands, trying to block him out. johnny crouched closer, his face softening as your sobs began to quiet.

“i didn’t eat it because of her,” he finally explained, his voice low. “i tried it because i heard it was good for insomnia. do you know how much trouble sleeping i’ve had because of you?” you were still stubborn, still fighting the truth. “that's bullshit. why would that be because of me?” you demanded.

his eyes softened even more as he met your gaze. “because,” he said quietly, “i can’t stop thinking about you.” for the first time in what felt like forever, you locked eyes with him, and everything else melted away. in his eyes, you saw everything—his confusion, his frustration, his longing. and in yours, he saw your hurt, your vulnerability, and everything you had been holding back. “you loser,” you sniffled, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. “how could you be hitting on me right now?”

and then, despite everything, he smiled. that same smile you remembered, the one that made your heart skip a beat. “come here,” he murmured, his hand reaching for your hair, pulling you gently toward him. you didn’t resist. the second his lips touched yours, everything else faded. you let him kiss you, and you kissed him back. the warmth of his mouth on yours was intoxicating, soft and slow, as if neither of you wanted the moment to end. when the kiss finally broke, johnny exhaled, his forehead resting against yours.

“don’t even think about,” he whispered, his breath warm against your skin, “calling this a mistake.” you nodded, still catching your breath. how could you? even as you felt the world spinning around you, even while you saw stars, you knew this was no mistake.

✧

a/n: this was so unserious lol i love nevertheless

[ncityprincess]

how johnny is as a boyfriend

minors do not interact

-*sighs dreamily* the Boyfriend of all Boyfriends

-i think johnny just loves love

-and he wouldn’t get in a relationship with just anyone

-he feels overcome with joy and happiness whenever he looks at you

-loves it when you get super excited or passionate about something

-you’re so endearing and beautiful in his eyes

-wants to build a comfortable life for the two of you

-he is attracted to strong and confident people

-loves someone who isn’t afraid to speak their mind

-bonus points if you’re witty and feisty

-loves playful banter

-if you’re short he’s gonna be annoying and purposely put things on the top shelf

-he finds it cute when you scold him (and he always ends up grabbing it for you anyway)

-you guys bond over your love of music

-dance parties in the middle of your living room are the norm

-he’s a dom in and out of the bedroom

-always makes sure you are well fed and hydrated

-watches over the two of you when you’re out in public

-let’s you be a passenger princess/prince

-you never have to worry about anything when you’re around him

-he’s another one that would be all about acts of service

-he’d rather show you how much he loves you rather than tell you

-he would help you study if you needed it, send lunch to your house if you said you didn’t eat yet

-he would even help your mom put together furniture or hang up pictures

-overall just wants to be of service to you

-and he’s also a really good dater

-like fancy restaurants and stuff yes

-but also creative dates like paint and sips, hiking, drive in movies

-loves to do spontaneous and fun things with you

-wants to do Life with you

-would be SO eager to introduce you to his family and friends

-he would want to bring you to social events with his friends

-he would also be sooooo gentle and patient with you :’)

-i’m absolutely projecting here but if you were ever feeling anxious or if you weren’t feeling your best he wouldn’t judge you at all

-he would ask how he can help you and move at your pace

-if you didn’t feel like working out for two months straight he wouldn’t say anything about it

-he genuinely cares for you and wants you to be happy

-makes you feel like the prettiest person in the world 🥰

-he would fantasize about the day you guys decide to start a family

-and you guys would absolutely brainstorm baby name ideas after several rounds of passionate sex

-click here to see how johnny would be in bed 🤭

[choiwonder]

HELLO NEIGHBOR . JOHNNY SUH

tw/cw ༝ 0.5k wc, smooth talker johnny, usage of pet names (sweetheart, baby), suggestive, he is so flirty it has me giggling and kicking my feet, making out. if you would like to make me happy just send me johnny fics & pics <333

neighbor! johnny that can be found, hanging out in the front yard, lengthy body glistening in the sun with shades over his eyes, resting on a beach chair with mark and yuta. he watches a moving truck enter the private community, parking in the driveway of the home directly next to his. curiosity peaked, it was a surprise to find you, a rather young looking individual, in a community filled with older ones, moving all your boxes into the house yourself.

neighbor! johnny who shares no hesitance in providing assistance, introducing himself. how could a cute little thing such as yourself be doing this all alone? with a flash of his smile, and a few words, johnny’s charm took its effect. he’s still got it. he’s such a good talker. every hour you spent putting your belongings inside, he’s engaging in conversation, making you laugh and wonder why are guys like this so rare to find? it’s the bare minimum, you tell yourself, forcing your heart and mind to ignore any rushed feelings that might arise for this man.

“what’s your name, sweetheart?” he grins, leaning against the frame of your door. the sun has set, yuta has left, mark had gone inside and all your belongings were safely stored.

he listens carefully, watching your lips move, repeating the name to himself a few times, “well, y/n, i wanna come over tomorrow to help with the rest of this, is that okay?”

neighbor! johnny that keeps his promise of coming over the next day, heading to you as soon as he got off work. you don’t question the absence of mark and yuta, secretly yearning for some time alone. he’ll get you a bottle of liquor he stole from work as a first souvenir for your home, encouraging that you have some together.

“wanna taste?” he’ll joke (not rlly), seething as he swallows and pointing to his lips. they’re lightly coated in the alcohol, resembling a gloss. only making them look more tempting to taste. yes, you think. you want to so so badly but fight every voice that tells you to do so and bite down on your bottom lip, shaking your head with a laugh.

neighbor! johnny who encourages you to succumb to your urges, trapping you in the corner of your kitchen. your back is pressed against the counter, breath rate on the rise as you could feel his body heat surround your space. it’s criminal how good he smells.

“come on, just a taste,” he’ll grin. stop. don’t make that face, “i promise i won’t bite, baby.” fuck it.

neighbor! johnny that finally gets to mold his lips against yours, one hand finding loose placement around your neck whilst the other digs under your shirt, squeezing desperately at the skin. it’s funny, really. how quick you’ve got him ready to touch you in ways that no other person has and how quick you’re whining under his lanky frame, making him wonder how long its been since someone has had you like this. his lips nibble up the skin of your jaw, reaching the sensitive skin of your ear, “let’s take this back to my place.”

© choiwonder ༝ do not copy, translate, modify or repost any of my work on any platform, or claim it as your own.

[hugs2doie]

Hi bby, can you please do texts for johnny bf? Thank uuu

of course love !! <3

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

random texts with johnny !! <3

pairing: bf!johnny x gn!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: none, btw mark & haechan were mentioned here !

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

i hope u like them <3 reqs r open !

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

[jungwnies]

syn ' there's no fixing something so broken pairing ' fem!reader x bf!johnny

it was so good until it wasn't. it was so sweet until it turned bitter. it was so comforting, until it hurt.

the room you stood in with a lawyer besides you, and a judge in front of you felt unreal. you never would've thought you'd be going against someone you loved so deeply.

someone you thought would never hurt you.

(flashback)

you checked your voicemail, "i left some papers on the kitchen table, don't wait for me tonight, i won't be coming home." is what the voice on the other end of the line said.

the second you stepped into your home, you saw the papers enclosed in a big yellow envelope. divorce papers.

you're heart shattered, but you weren't surprised. in fact, you even laughed.

time was always a measurement of your relationship and it finally ran out.

so you signed the papers, not thinking anything of them. if it wasn't now, then it would've been later.

(present)

it hasn't started, the judge was preparing, walking in and out, and our lawyer was preparing papers.

you walk up to johnny and greet him, "long time no see."

johnny looks at you with a blank stare, "please don't look at me with so much resentment."

"why? i can't be upset that the person i love is finally leaving?" you challenge with a scoff.

"don't pretend like you haven't imagined your life without me." johnny argues, laughing.

you laugh, "after not seeing you for so long i thought i'd be sad, but honestly seeing your face makes me want to die." you look at johnny and shake your head, "and to think how much you made me miserable and i still loved you.”

"you know i loved you too." johnny tells you, "i still do."

"you left like i was never a reason to stay." you tell him sadly. "i didn’t realise i was such an inconvenience."

johnny swallows, "i don’t see the same person i loved when i look at you anymore."

you look him up and down, "neither do i."

"y/n i'm hurting too." johnny lamented.

"i hope we never have to see each other again." you tell him walking away.

2022 © jungwnies

[haechanhues]

chapter twenty : johnny suh

S I D E : A

word count : 1k

warnings : none tho includes alcohol.

It had been a rather rough day today, you were texting Sicheng earlier that day and only talked about Hendery without actually mentioning him and the attempt of subtlety had you more annoyed at him whilst both Haechan and Mark who were usually present at parties like this had ditched to attend a double date. Chenle visiting his friends instead.  

“Hey,” A girl with pretty long hair put herself in front of you, staring at you with concern in her eyes, “You alright? Do you feel sick?” 

“Uh, I’m okay,” You say, even though everything about your face reveals that nothing is okay. 

“Min,” She hisses to another girl clearly enjoying her vodka with a crazy straw, “Where’s Johnny?” 

“Why?” Min asks, unbothered and only a little concerned by your nonchalant face. 

“I’m gonna bring her to his room but I want to ask first.” 

“You’ve never made an effort before.” 

“Well he ripped into me last time, you should know! You were there-” 

“Okay, okay, Yuqi you don’t need to yell, I’m drunk not blind.” 

Yuqi curses to herself, promising to never let Minnie touch another vodka and cranberry ever again. Not while she’s there to look after her, anyways. 

“Just use it, I’ll go find him,” Minnie decides before wandering off with her empty glass and Yuqi wants to trust her, she does but she finds you need her more than Johnny does right now so she leads you to his room and sits you on his bed, happy to find the older man had cleaned his room. 

Yuqi sits you on the bed, checking your face for anything in your gaze before she kneels in front of you, “I’m gonna get you some water, okay? It’ll make you feel better.” 

You nod, though you feel a little better just being somewhere quiet and watch as Yuqi hurries outside to retrieve you some water. You miss the scent on her clothes as soon as she leaves and you sit silently. 

Patiently. 

Until you’re no longer patient anymore. You figure she must have got caught up, or in the ‘worst’ case scenario forgot about you. 

You stand, looking around at the room you’re in, figuring the best way to let time pass by is to have a little nosy around. It’s a clean boy room, with cool neon lights framing a bit of his bed and the faintest smell of cologne. 

Narrowing your eyes you peek curiously through his array of photos lined up against each other, showcasing his life and his personality. 

In fact, one of his friends looks exactly like Moon Taeil, strangely enough. 

“Uh- hi?” A deep voice frightens you so much that you look even more guilty, caught in the act and looking way too much like a deer in headlights to be innocent. 

“I’m not stealing anything!” 

The man laughs, “I didn’t think you were. You lost?” 

“Uh no- I’m uh- waiting for Yuqi-” 

He curses, “Fucking Yuqi, always bringing strays into my room-” 

Your eyebrows raise to which he laughs good naturedly, “Nothing to take offence over, really. At least you’re not fucking her.” 

You giggle, “I’m not. She’s getting me a water, and I- I think you’re the one that Min had to tell I was coming here-” 

Johnny snorts, “Yeah, right. I’m Johnny by the way.” 

“Y/N.” 

“So, “ Johnny sighs, laying down next to you with his arms supporting his neck, “Why are you here in the quiet instead of the rager downstairs?” 

“Honestly, I can’t be bothered,” You admit, your chin held by the back of your hand. Johnny finds it endearing, how comfortable you’re getting with him. While sober. It’s kind of nice…the change. 

Johnny chuckles, “I hope you’re bothered enough to tell me. I need some new gossip.” 

“Hmm,” You pretend to think hard, “It depends, are you going to tell people?” 

“Nah,” Johnny scoffs, “Even if I did…they’re all drunk and terrible conversationalists. I mean- you’ve met Minnie.” 

You start your story with a short cough to clear your throat and it’s an unveiling filled with every boy that has made your life. Your friends. Even Minnie and Yuqi to which he was glad to add his own comments about. 

You appreciate the way his eyes widen, and how he lets out a dramatic inhale of breath at every climax of your stories. He even scoots closer to you, in love with your storytelling and the complete gossip he’s getting from you right this minute. 

Minnie, who’s behind the door listening, appreciates it just as much. She wants to keep you. Just so she can see what happens next. 

“And Hendery? Are you still in love with him?” 

You shrug, “Yeah- but like I can’t be that in love with him if I like other people, right?” 

“Not necessarily, consider this...you’re a single girl, in a new town, living her life and learning about the world and it just so happens that you end up liking some of the people you connect with,” Johnny advises, looking very ‘shrink’ as he watches the information process in your brain. 

“But I don’t know if what I feel for Hendery is love…still love. He even said I should move on.” 

“So? Are you moving on? And if so, are you moving on for the right reasons?” 

“Right reasons?” 

“Although I love a revenge plot, it won’t work for you in this case. It’s just pettiness.” 

“Has anyone told you how hot you are?” Your voice diverges into another topic. Since you’ve been thinking about how sexy he is for the past minute… 

“Plenty of times.. It doesn’t hurt to hear it again though and usually not when I’m saying something they should listen to….” 

“Well then you’re hot,” You confess. Minnie has to roll her eyes as the conversation becomes a little too streaming site clickbait-esque and makes a quick exit, jogging to tell Yuqi the plan of adopting you. 

Johnny grins, “Thanks.” 

You beam back, “You’re welcome.” 

You press a chaste kiss to his lips in gratitude. For the conversation and the advice. Resisting the urge to kiss him again and again. 

S I D E : B

THE SERIAL LOVER

in which a girl farewells every boy she’s ever loved (or at least had romantic feelings for) in order to prove that her feelings for one particular boy are very real and unwavering. 

chapter twenty : johnny suh

masterlist | prev | next

taglist: @matchahyuck @haisuken @dinonuguaegi @replayenthusiast @90s-belladonna @ahnneyong @liliansun

[dokiyeom]

UNTIL THE END OF TIME  .  JOHNNY SUH

pairing: non idol! johnny x fashion student! reader

genre: fluff - warnings: none - wc: 0.4k

“is this nepotism? like how i got this modeling gig?” johnny questions, swinging his hands in the air in surrender when you pause and shoot him a horrified look, “hey! nepotism isn’t exclusive to families! it's like friends and associates too!”

“good,” you roll your eyes, reaching up to fix his collar, “i’m very relieved that my boyfriend isn’t suggesting we’re together because of oedipal shit— we’re over if you call me mommy,”

“i can’t believe you think i’d say something like that,” johnny sighs, melancholically tilting his head off to the side. before you’re able to smooth out the creases along his shoulders, johnny’s hand catches yours as he stares right into your eyes and places a chaste kiss on your knuckle, “babe, you know i’d never. you’re my beautiful, amazing lover who is well within an appropriate age range for us to be in a perfectly acceptable and healthy relationship,”

“you know what, i think jaehyun said he was free today. maybe i should ask him to model for my assignment,” you mutter, flicking his nose gently as you continue to set his accessories and hair in place, “think he’d be down to come help?”

“how could you?” johnny laments, feigning offense as he clutches your hands in his, “you wound me, love. i can’t believe how easily you’re throwing me aside and considering replacing me with my own best friend after claiming that i was your muse for this collection,”

johnny throws his head theatrically, stepping away from you while keeping one of his hands connected with yours, “oh y/n, how could you be so cruel to your muse, your boyfriend, the literal love of your life?”

“you’re so dramatic,” you press a kiss to johnny’s nose, grinning as you see his face melt into soft satisfaction. his eyes shutting and morphing into downturned crescents while his lips formed a winsome smile you’ve loved all these years, “you’re never going to not remind me that you’re my muse, are you?”

“nope,” johnny instantly quips, the corners of lips quickly jutting out in a cheekier smile that awkwardly boasts his teeth, “never. i’m very glad to be your muse, and i want to be your muse till’ the end of time,”

“the end of time?” you ask, as johnny’s hands slide to your waist and rest on your hips, the two of you rocking from side to side, “you’re planning on sticking with me for that long?”

johnny grins, eyes trained on your face as he admires your features for the nth time, “a hundred percent, i’ll be here with you and love you till’ the end of time,”

[multidxni]

Hugs and kisses

pairing: Suh Johnny x fem!reader

genre: fluff, established relationship

"Babyyy..." Your boyfriend Johnny whined for the 10th time this evening, as you didn't want to take your eyes off your new book.

"Come onnn, please come give me a huggg. I miss youuu." He begged, sitting up on the bed, waiting for you to come cuddle with him. But you didn't seem to listen, your eyes glued to the pages of your new novel.

So Johnny stood up and grabbed you by the waist in a smooth, fast movement, picking you up. He dropped you in your big shared bed, starring at you.

"Heyy!" You squealed, locking eyes with your boyfriend, for what felt like the first time to him that evening.

"Why won't you let me read, Johnny? It's only been-"

"3 hours!" He desperately screamed, because it's been a torture to him, not getting any attention from you for that long. It was like you wanted to ignore him.

"Wow... That long? I didn't even notice... Time passed by so fast." You chuckled and he pouted like a kid whose ice cream fell on the floor.

You smiled at your boyfriend's cuteness, moving closer to his body and holding his face. You kiss the tip of his nose.

At that he began smiling so big, that his eyes started closing. Your heart began skipping beats at how adorable he looked.

"Hug meee." He literally couldn't stop telling you, and you couldn't stop smiling, as your arms finally wrapped around his big shoulders.

"You thought I don't love you anymore?" You joked and kissed his cheeks, nose again, forehead and lastly, softly pecking his lips.

Johnny felt like it was the first time you kissed him, everytime you placed your lips on his skin. He never wanted to let go of you. You made him feel so warm and loved.

"I love you." He whispered in your ear, kissing your forehead.

You made a mental note to read again tomorrow if he was going to be all pouty and needy like this again.

[babieculture]

this is so fucking cute !!!!! (nd also feeding my johnny craving bc the fucker decides to look like this for the meaning of love track vid nd now i’ve gone all domestic-)

ugh he’s so husband material🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

A johnny drabble where the reader doesn't like the smell and taste of coffee and johnny just teasing them by kissing them after he drinks coffee or something like that pleaseee <3

It's not that you don't like the smell of Johnny-- or even the taste of him most of the time. But the way the man drinks his coffee is like a heart attack waiting to happen. You can handle the soft scent of a cappuccino and maybe the faint taste of bitterness on his lips, but he really goes all out for his caffeine. You'd be lying if you said he didn't drink at least an entire week's worth of it in just one cup.

There is a reason it isn't your favorite thing. From the harsh bitterness when you try to drink it to the overpowering scent that blocks your nose from smelling anything else for the rest of the day. Johnny is used to it though, and he thinks it's funny when you wrinkle your nose at him on the mornings he really goes all out with it.

It's not every day that he does it, of course. The man would probably be dead if that were the case, but it's always on the days he gets to lay around the house with you. The smell encompasses your space and invades your nostrils the moment you open your eyes that morning.

"I see you made it stronger this morning." You whine as you walk into the kitchen, where the scent is much stronger and Johnny is there, leaning against the counter with his loose fitting t-shirt and messy hair, sipping away at it as if it was the best-tasting thing in the world.

"You're so weird, coffee is like-- universally loved. They even sell coffee candles." Johnny says it nonchalantly, looking at you over the rim of his mug as he goes in for another sip of the heart-shaking liquid. " I thought you'd be used to it by now, honestly."

You're a little shocked yourself that you aren't. You don't really get a lot of time away from him either, outside of work anyway. You wonder if you would miss the smell of it if he were to ever leave you for a long period of time. Maybe that's why people like it, nostalgia maybe?

"That's one thing I refuse to get used to." You say with another grimace, knowing you're just being dramatic about it. The smell is so strong in this room it almost turns your stomach. You opt to open a window.

"You're cute when you grimace," Johnny says, his morning voice much more clear than your own. You figure it's because he's drinking something warm to make his voice nice and smooth. That's a point you will give to coffee, it makes his voice nice and satin-like in the mornings. "You're gonna have to find a way to get used to it though, because I'm not going to sit here and--"

He says it with a pause as you hear him sit his mug down on the counter and rush towards you. You were still facing the window, attempting to breathe in the foggy air but you knew what was coming.

"No!" You shout playfully, pushing yourself back from the window and dodging his obnoxiously plush lips that were puckering violently at you.

But when he finally catches you, pressing you against the kitchen counter with his coffee-colored everything, from his hair to his eyes, you almost decide that the taste can't be that bad. Maybe you've just had a bad batch every single time you tried it.

And when he leans in to kiss you, you anticipate it and welcome the bitter scent and taste of his lips. But he doesn't kiss you, instead, he keeps you pressed against the counter and grabs the mug.

He takes a long sip of it and you watch the way his Adam's apple flexes when he swallows it. You're still looking at his neck when he leans straight in, wasting no time in parting your lips.

You give in, feeling the warmth of his tongue on yours. It was bitter and comforting in the way he pressed his body against yours and cradles your head in his hands as he kissed into you.

He'd never kissed you like this, and maybe it's just for funsies because it really isn't that big of a deal that you don't like coffee. But also maybe you really are too dramatic because the taste against his lips is nothing like the coffee you'd had before. Instead, now, you just want more of it.

And no, you won't drink a whole cup of the stuff. But if you had to say you like coffee, it would only be because it came from his lips.

When he finally pulls back, after his tongue had dropped in temperature a little, he raises his brow at you with the way you chased his lips.

"You sure you refuse to get used to it?" He mocks with a smile, pressing his forehead against yours in a small laugh. "You seem pretty eager for it."

You gently bump your forehead against his in retaliation and he attempts to pull away from you in defeat. "You know I'm not going to just like-- not kiss you because I've had coffee right?"

"I never said you had to." You say back, not letting him pull away from you. "I guess I will admit that--"

Johnny already breaks out in another huge smile, leaning straight back into you and shaking his messy hair out of his face. "Admit what?" He urges you. Big hands snaking their way around your waist into a hug. "Go on, admit that it's not that bad."

"I will only tolerate it if you keep doing this."

"Fair enough."

He gives himself a gold star this time and hopes that someday he can make you a cup of coffee that doesn't have you grimacing, even if it's cute.

[sunshyni]

— my oh my. Johnny Suh

A leaked message stating the obvious about Johnny was enough for you to finally have him.

johnny x Reader | Fluff but suggestive 🤭 | w.c: 1k

— Oh my God, those jeans are killer — Jaehyun started, practically squirming on the couch in the living room of the frat house where he, Johnny, Doyoung, and a few other guys lived. It was crazy how magnetic your presence was; every eye in the room turned to you when you walked in, like it was automatic. — What's her deal, huh?

— Aww, are you like this ‘cause she turned you down? — Johnny asked, sipping a beer and watching you, not like a creep, just admiring. You really were stunning, not only in looks but in brains, too. You worked part-time at a luxury store at the airport and were always looking flawless, though Johnny figured you’d still look flawless even with messy hair.

— Go on, alright? Everyone knows she’s into you, lover boy — Jaehyun pouted, which made Johnny grin and pinch his cheek like he was a little kid; with that look, he actually did look like a baby.

— Don’t play the victim. You’ll have plenty of girls chasing you — he rolled his eyes, and Johnny gave him a couple of gentle pats on the shoulder, then walked over to you, touching your waist softly when he reached you, his hand brushing against your soft skin peeking out from your crop top. — Hey.

— Hey — you practically choked out. Johnny grinned, leaving you a bit speechless. Your natural hair and the low-rise jeans you wore made you look absolutely perfect, but the blush on your cheeks, even before you’d had a drink, gave you an angelic vibe Johnny found himself totally obsessed with.

— You were amazing in the seminar today — he had to say something. You knew that now everyone knew about your crush on him, thanks to that accidentally leaked message to the whole school. It wasn’t anything sexual, but it did make him sound like some Greek god, which Johnny found funny and cute, even if he was already confident in himself. It was the first time someone had complimented him like that.

— Ah, I had to take a shot just before it started so I wouldn’t stammer — you admitted, suddenly unsure of what to do with your hands. How close were two people supposed to be when they weren’t actually a thing? Because right now, you felt incredibly close to him and wanted to laugh nervously. — John… about those messages, I didn’t mean…

— Nuzzle your face in my chest? You can do that — you couldn’t help it and laughed, covering your face with your hands like a shy little girl. You’d vented to the wrong person, that was clear, or your messages wouldn’t have been leaked, but everyone agreed with your words, including Johnny himself. He held you, guiding you back until your back met the wall. — What else do you want to do that you didn’t describe in those messages?

— Should I say it? — you smiled playfully, and Johnny smiled back, hooking a finger through the belt loop of your jeans, pulling you closer. Maybe it was the drink, or maybe it was the green light you gave for him to touch you, but he pulled you a bit closer by the waistband and leaned down to kiss your neck, licking the skin, sucking, and lightly grazing his teeth.

A quiet sigh escaped your lips before you realized. You definitely loved flirting, touches, and making out; you’d never gone all the way, and you felt nervous about how skilled Johnny seemed to be with his mouth, his hands, his whole body, honestly.

— I’ve been wanting to get close to you for a while but always thought you were kinda untouchable — Johnny admitted against your skin, and you practically burst at his confession. You had a confident air, like you didn’t care about anyone’s opinion, but all you wanted was for Johnny to feel the same way.

— Maybe for other guys… but not for you — you said with a smile, and Johnny moved even closer, kissing your cheek, the corner of your lips, but never quite reaching where you wanted. He was teasing, and you knew it from the little smirk he’d flash between a firm squeeze and a soft press of his lips against your skin. — Oh, for heaven’s sake, John.

You grabbed his silver chain that peeked out from his shirt, pulled it free, and kissed him, hard, filled with want, like you were devouring each other against the wall near the frat house door. Johnny tangled his fingers in your hair and pulled back gently, letting you catch your breath, both of you breathing heavily.

— Come on — he said, taking your hand and leading you up the stairs. You followed, weaving past people with drinks in hand, bumping into a few on the way. Johnny opened his room door, which he likely shared with another guy, given the second bed on the right side.

It looked like a typical high school guy’s room, which was kind of cute. Johnny had a shelf full of comics, and his room had its own bathroom; on the doorframe, there was a pull-up bar you couldn’t help but admire, picturing the sight of a shirtless Johnny using it. You felt like a little girl, and maybe, with him, that’s exactly what you were.

— Astroboy? — you asked, playing with a little figurine on his shelf.

— It suits me, doesn’t it?

— Definitely, you’re a star.

You smiled, watching him sitting on the single bed, then followed, sitting across from him, kissing him slowly, your hands exploring his chest with calm. Somehow, Johnny got you to wrap your legs around his waist, and you had to kick off your shoes in the process, which made him chuckle against your lips. Johnny caressed your back as his mouth explored your neck, kissing your skin so delicately it felt like his lips were velvet.

— Johnny… — you began, and he immediately met your gaze. — Hold on, it’s all good. It’s just that… I’ve never…

— Never? — he knew exactly what you meant.

— Only once, almost… but I freaked out, and… — Johnny left a soft kiss on your forehead.

— It’s okay; we don’t have to do anything tonight.

— But I love making out — you said, pressing your bodies even closer, and Johnny grinned, thinking you were way too perfect to be real.

— Me too. So much.

@sunshyni. All rights reserved.

[v1si0n]

JUST GIVE ME A REASON (J.JH)🪐

SUMMARY: you didn’t think think you could possibly hate performing at your schools spring showcase until you were paired up with your mortal enemy, Jung Jaehyun. but you guys are singing a love song, and god knows what love songs do to youngins like you.

GENRE: enemies(ish) to lovers , college au, performance arts majors! y/n and jaehyun, humor, fluff, tiny bit of angst, lovers in denial but its just y/n LMFAO

WARNINGS: profanity, jokes about death, inaccurate depictions of performance arts majors, jaehyun and y/n are constantly at each others necks but in a kinda cute way…?

NOTES: AHHHHHH my first actual written piece!!!! i’ve had this fic partially finished for a LONG ass time and i’m finally releasing it for you lovelies to read💗💗💗hope you love it as much as i do :)

WORD COUNT: 15.5k

TAGLIST: @shiningnono @stickwme2 @mmjhh1998 @bluedbliss @peachfulnight

♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪ (๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪ (๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪ (๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪ (๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪

its in the stars

it’s been written in the scars on our hearts

When Mark Lee told you that Professor Kim would choose the pairs for this year's talent show, you believed it wouldn’t be too bad.

You were wrong. So humiliatingly wrong.

There you were, staring at the bulletin board outside the classroom, shocked and angry to your very core. You read the line with your name over and over again hoping, praying, that it was somehow a typo.

“Jung Jaehyun?! He paired me with Jaehyun?” You shrieked, your best friends Mark and Donghyuck snickering from beside you.

“Hey, he’s a pretty good singer,” Mark nudges you. You glare at him and he holds his hands up in defense.

“He’s a dick is what he is, Mark! You can’t possibly tell me you still like him after what he did to me,” You huff. Mark is scared to answer, but much to his delight, Professor Kim steps out of the classroom to greet students.

“Ah, Y/N! I take it that you’ve seen who I partnered you up with,” he smiles.

“Prof, can I please switch? I’ll perform with anyone else just not him,” you plead and he laughs directly in your face.

“Nope. No changing or switching partners.”

Your eye twitches.

“Prof-“ Your voice is scarily low, and this cues Mark and Hyuck to whisk you into the classroom.

“I’ll kill him, I swear,” you grumble.

“Listen bub, just stick with it for this performance. Three weeks of rehearsal and two nights of performances. You can do that,” Hyuck says gently, patting your head in an attempt to calm you down.

You mumble a “fine” under your breath and make your way to your seat. You stare blankly as the students pile into the lecture hall, one of them being the one and only Jung Jaehyun himself. He catches your eye and smirks, obviously having seen the list outside the classroom. You see him stray away from his original seat, making a beeline for the empty seat next to you that you use to hold your bag.

“Hyuck, switch seats with me,” You slap his arm repeatedly.

“What? No, I always sit in the middle,” He brushes you off as he takes out his laptop.

“Mark?”

“Sur- Actually, I think I’m good,” He smirks.

You look at him in confusion and realize he’s watching Jaehyun as he approaches you. He taps Hyuck to alert him, and now they’re both laughing under their breaths. You make a mental note to get new friends.

Jaehyun is now standing in the aisle, beaming at you with a shit-eating grin on his stupid face.

“Hey partner, mind moving the bag?”

“The seats taken,”

“No, it’s not, just move your bag.”

“I don’t want to,”

“Y/N-”

“Here! I’ll take your bag my sweet,” Hyuck pipes up from next to you. You stare at him in horror as he takes your bag and winks at you, placing the bag under his feet.

“Thank you, Donghyuck,” Jaehyun smiles and plops himself down next to you.

“Of course Jaehyun! Any friend of Y/N’s is a friend of ours,” Mark quips, and you burrow your head in your hands with a groan.

You’re banging your head repeatedly on the table as the boys begin talking about the upcoming performance, and you silently pray to yourself that God would take you out at this very moment.

“Aw, don’t act like that, partner! We’re gonna have so much fun.”

Jaehyun puts his arm around you and pulls you closer to him, causing you to thrash around and accidentally elbow Hyuck in the chest. A loud groan is heard throughout the lecture hall and everyone turns to look at him, and Mark offers an apologetic smile.

“Donghyuck and Y/N. Let’s keep quiet back there, yeah?”

You both mumble apologies to Professor Kim and glare at each other. Mark shushes both of you and points toward the front of the class, and you direct your attention to the screen. The words “SPRING SHOWCASE” glare back at you in ugly bold letters.

“Students! As you all know, the spring showcase is only a month away. This year, the music department and I have decided to assign partners rather than letting you choose, as to avoid constant repeats.” (READ: Mark and Hyuck high-five under the table.)

A chorus of complaints is heard throughout the lecture hall, the loudest being you, Mark, and Hyuck. The Spring Showcase was your guys’ favourite time of the year because it meant you three doing what you love most together, then getting to show it to the entire school.

“Prof! The whole point of the spring showcase is to showcase our talents! What if we’re paired with people we don’t work well with?!” You exclaim, and Jaehyun scoffs next to you.

“Yeah, Prof! What if our partner constantly has a stick up her as-“

“Funny! Considering the fact that during the winter showcase the microphone stand actually almost went up your a-”

“That was the tech crew's fault! I didn’t know the mic would rise so soon!”

“Let's avoid talking about such things in the classroom, please.” Professor Kim pipes up. You both roll your eyes at each other and you feel Donghyuck pat your head again.

For the next hour, you’re pretty sure Professor Kim is probably mentioning crucial information about the spring showcase, but all you could think about was the living nuisance that was Jeong Jaehyun. His very presence next to you was driving you up the wall and knowing that you would have to see him every day for a month straight made your face feel hot with rage.

“That’s it for today's class! All pairs must submit their songs by the end of the week! Group rehearsals start as soon as every pair has submitted their song choice.”

Students start slowly trickling out of the lecture hall as others linger around to talk to friends. You slump down into your seat and stare into the distance, Mark and Donghyuck making small talk with Jaehyun as they pack their bags.

“Y/N? Are you listening?” Mark nudges your shoulder gently. You shake your head, still staring off into the distance.

“We said let’s go grab lunch near campus,” Hyuck holds your bag out for you.

“How can you even eat in this situation?” You sigh dramatically.

Your friends roll their eyes at you, while Jaehyun smiles, almost contently, at your misery. He puts a hand on your shoulder, causing you to scowl and turn your head to look at him.

“I’ll see you guys later. I’ll be waiting for your text partner,” He winks at you and you make a face.

“Please run in front of a bus.”

“Only if you’re next to me!” He calls out as he leaves the lecture hall.

You decide right then and there that it wouldn’t be too bad if you were sentenced to death row.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

Fridays usually meant two things for you and your friends: One, the canteen would be serving ice cream, and two, all of your classes ended early.

With that being said, it became a tradition for you three to meet after class at your designated table in the canteen with your respective ice cream cups in hand. However, this Friday was a little different.

“Is that Y/N I see?”

You’re picking at Donghyucks ice cream when you hear an aggravating voice shout from across the room. You cower in your seat out of embarrassment, your friends snickering at the boy desperately trying to get your attention. He rushes over and slides into the seat across from you.

“Y/N? My dearest partner?”

“What the hell do you want, Jaehyun?” you say through gritted teeth.

“Aw, did our sweet little princess Y/N not get enough sleep?” He reaches over to pat your head and you swat his hand away. “Did you think about what song you wanted to do with me?”

“Just give me a reason,” you mumble with a mouthful of ice cream.

“Um, for the showcase? For an honors student, you’re kinda dumb, babe.”

You choke on your ice cream and Mark stifles a laugh from beside you.

“The song. Just Give Me A Reason by P!nk and Nate Ruess.”

Jaehyuns smirk falters. The tips of his ears glow red as Donghyuck stares at him with judgment written all over his sunkissed features.

“Yeah, right.” He clears his throat and rubs the back of his neck. You could practically see the gears turning in his head as he searches for a comeback. “Bit of a hard song for you, no?”

“Worry about yourself and your pre-pubescent voice cracks,” You state calmly, not having to look at him to know you struck a chord.

“That happened-“ He shouts, lowering his voice upon realizing he was getting stares from the people around him, “years ago. My throat was dry.”

“It was last year,” Mark states, earning a pointed glare from Jaehyun.

“Whatever!” He throws his hands up in exasperation and stands up to leave.

“So that’s a yes?” You call after him as he walks away from the table, and he flips you off in return. You take that as a yes.

“Good song choice for you guys to fall in love,” Hyuck mumbles as he licks his spoon clean.

“Pardon?” You raise an eyebrow at him.

“A love song for lovebirds. Good one,” He says almost matter of factly, and you look around the cafeteria.

“Are the lovebirds in the room with us?”

“He’s not wrong, you know. Every boy/girl duo that has done a love song ended up in a relationship within 24 hours of the showcase,” Mark points his spoon around as he talks.

“You guys seriously believe that? It’s just Music Department superstition, nothing else to it.”

You swirl your spoon inside your cup of melted chocolate ice cream as you ponder. You vaguely recall the buzz around the two seniors last year who kissed on stage after their duet.

“I can’t believe you’d call it superstition! It’s deep rooted lore thats an important part of our history as music students!” Donghyuck exaggerates.

You roll your eyes as he begins his deep dive into the stories surrounding your department. As he nears the end of his rambling, you feel a tap on your shoulder and turn.

“Yes, Soojin?” You muster a smile as you look at the girl in front of you.

Kang Soojin. Your campuses day one it girl and the bane of your existence. To be fair, you would’ve never had a problem with her had she been a decent human being towards you from the start, but for some unknown reason you found yourself bearing the brunt of her hatred since highschool.

“Why was Jae just talking to you?” Her high-pitched voice pierces your ears and you wince.

“Who?”

“Jaehyun? Jung Jaehyun? Don’t act stupid,” She snaps.

“Oh, he’s my partner for the spring showcase. He was asking what song we should do,” You blink at her.

“Try not to stick around him too much. You’ll rub off on him and I don’t need that,” She snickers before turning on her heel and walking away.

You’re left absolutely flabbergasted, processing her words before turning to your friends with your mouth agape.

“What the fuck?” You whisper, struggling to come to terms with what just happened.

“She does not play about Jaehyun,” Mark lets out a low whistle.

“Why is she talking to me like I want to be around him? I was literally forced into this,” You huff.

“Wait, hold on,” Hyuck starts, hands beckoning you and Mark to come closer. “You guys know Johnny? I heard him telling Doyoung that Jaehyun rejected Soojin in front of all her friends on Valentine's Day. She cried and everything.”

“What an asshole. No wonder why the poor girl is always pissy,” You mumble.

“Maybe she’s pissy towards you because her man wants you,” Mark wiggles his eyebrows and you make a face.

“Ew, no. Never put that into the universe,” You shake your finger at him.

“You won’t be saying that after the spring showcase,” Hyuck sings, licking the last bit of ice cream off his spoon.

You mumble profanities under your breath and narrow your eyes at the boy in front of you, but a tinge of anxiety bubbles in your stomach. As sure as you were that you could never possibly develop feelings for Jaehyun, you truly don’t know what could happen after spending that much time together.

You shudder. You can’t afford to spiral too deep into your thoughts right now, especially in front of Mark and Donghyuck who watch your every reaction like hawks. You let out a fake cough in an attempt to regain composure.

“So, what should we get for lunch?”

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

your head is running wild again

my dear, we still have everything

Your first week of rehearsals with Jaehyun was nothing short of a nightmare.

His incessant teasing and nitpicking had begun to drive you up the wall, and quite frankly you don’t think you’ve ever been closer to crashing out.

“Professor! Y/N won’t act like she’s in love with me and it’s ruining the stage chemistry!” Jaehyun calls out from the stage, much like a fifth grader snitching to their teacher.

It was a Friday evening in the auditorium where your class had been rehearsing for the spring showcase. You and Jaehyun had barely finished singing before his features were taken over by his stupid signature smirk and he asked to stop the song.

“Um, while I don’t believe she needs to pretend to be in love with you, I do believe you are lacking a bit of emotion, Y/N. This is a love song, and well, you don’t exactly look too pleased to be sharing the stage with Jaehyun,” Professor Kim articulates carefully, looking at you expectantly as if he could see the impending breakdown written all over your features.

You offer a tight-lipped smile to your professor, knowing that he was right but you could not, for the life of you, muster a smile in Jaehyun’s presence. “Can another pair go now? I need a minute.”

Professor Kim nods and you quickly walk off, stomping backstage and down the stairs before beelining for the auditorium exit. You push the doors open and step into the corridor, huffing out a breath as you try to collect yourself.

“Great, this is the perfect spot for us to practice,” Jaehyun pipes up from behind you as he shuts the door.

“God, why did you follow me?” You groan, making the mistake of turning around just in time for him to run right into you, “Ever heard of personal space?”

“I’m practicing,” He shrugs, not budging from his spot. You attempt to take a step back but he steps forward, and you swear you were on the verge of a psychotic break.

“Jaehyun, if you don’t step the fuck back-“

“You need to be better at pretending that you love me, so I’m helping you,” He remarks, his smirk widening at the way your face flushes.

“What the hell are you talking about? I don’t need your help,” You put both hands on his chest to push him away, but your efforts prove to be useless when he grabs both of your wrists with one hand and tugs them down.

You can feel the embarrassment start to settle in at the realization that Jaehyun was definitely trying to get a reaction out of you right now, and it was definitely working in his favor. Each step you took back, he took forward, his hand still holding onto your wrists.

“Now if I’m not mistaken,” He pauses, tapping his chin thoughtfully, stepping forward and effectively trapping you against the wall of the corridor, “I think you have a little crush on me, sweetheart.”

You try to rack your brain for any sort of comeback, but all that comes out of you is a weak scoff, “You are mistaken.”

Jaehyun chuckles darkly at your weak argument, the sound sending chills up your spine as you press yourself impossibly closer to the wall.

“Is that so? Is that why you can’t even look me in the eye right now?” He lowers his head so that you’re both face to face, and your cheeks burn a bright red when you indeed can’t meet his scrutinizing glare.

“That’s what I thought,” He scoffs, releasing your hands in favor or pressing both of his against the wall behind you, efficiently caging you in between his arms. “Tell me sweetheart, why do you keep pretending that you hate me?”

The question catches you off guard, your brows furrowing at the accusation that was just thrown at you. You manage to regain your composure for long enough to speak up, “What makes you think I’m pretending?”

“Just a feeling I have,” He shrugs, “and maybe because I let both of your hands go for quite some time now and you have yet to push me away. Would you like to tell me why that is?”

You look down at both of your hands and back up at him, heat rushing up your neck and painting your cheeks a scarlet hue. You shove his chest and let out an exhale when you’re free from the confines of his arms. You mentally curse yourself for standing there gawking at him like an idiot instead of pushing away sooner.

“Both of our lives would be much easier if you admitted it, Y/N,” He sing-songs from behind you, his voice giving away the obvious smirk that was plastered on his face.

“Admitted what?” You turn around with your arms crossed.

“That you like our little game. That you don’t hate me like you want everyone to believe,” He states simply, tucking his hands into his pants pocket.

Something about the way he was so sure of himself almost convinced you that he was right, that maybe you put on this act because there was something ugly and complex buried beneath the surface. Before you can allow your thoughts to consume the space between you and Jaehyun, you shake your head to get rid of them completely.

“You’re delusional,” You mumble weakly, turning to walk back into the auditorium. You can hear Jaehyun’s laugh from behind you and you grimace, quickly walking back to your spot where Mark and Donghyuck look at you with taunting eyes.

“So…you and Jaehyun took quite some time outside. Mind sharing with the class what you two did that has you looking like that?” Hyuck rests his chin in the palm of his hand as he tilts his head curiously at you.

“Looking like what?” You frantically smooth a hand over your hair, uselessly tugging at your top as you try to remain presentable.

“Let’s see. Red cheeks, shaky hands, glossy eyes, and,” Mark pauses to lean in closer to you, inhaling briefly before he nods and pulls away with a hum, “You smell like him.”

Your eyes widen as you bring your arm up to your nose, cursing when the familiar scent of Jaehyun’s cologne tickles your nostrils. “It’s not what you think, we just talked.”

Donghyuck furrows his eyebrows with a slight pout, rubbing his chin in mock thought. “Now, correct me if I’m wrong Mark, but talking to someone usually doesn’t end up with you smelling like them. Am I correct?”

“I’m afraid you are correct, Donghyuck. I’m curious, Y/N. Do you usually go home smelling like one of us after we’ve talked?” Mark prods, and you groan, running a hand over your face in frustration as your friends continue to tease you.

As Mark and Donghyuck continue their unrelenting jokes beside you, your eyes flicker towards Jaehyun’s form as he walks back into the auditorium with his hands in his pockets. His eyes catch yours and his lips immediately curl into a smirk, his left eye dropping to a wink as he regards you with a hint of amusement on his features.

Despite the way you narrow your eyes at him, your body almost doesn’t allow you to look away from him even after his eyes refocus on your professor. Your eyes trail from his eyes to his nose, stopping involuntarily at his lips as he rubs them together. You’re entranced by the way his tongue darts out to wet the surface, and you grow more frustrated by the second at the way the beating of your heart betrays the nagging in your brain that tells you to look away.

For a second, you’re almost convinced he’s doing this on purpose, putting on a show because he knows you’re watching, and your suspicions are confirmed when he turns his head to the side to look at you, his smirk resurfacing when he notices the way your eyes remain on him.

You will yourself to look away, clearing your throat as you try to calm the drumming in your chest. You straighten your posture in the uncomfortable wooden seat before your phone vibrates in your lap and you try to look down at it without drawing Mark or Hyuck’s attention.

jaehyun: still denying it?

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

you’re not broken just bent

and we can learn to love again

Monday mornings were on the long list of things you didn’t like.

It was the only day out of the week that you had a 9 AM class, and to make matters worse you shared that class with none other than the anti-christ himself.

“Psst. Y/N,” Jaehyun whispers from the seat behind you.

You rub at your temples and take a deep breath, doing your best to remain calm and not commit aggravated assault.

As your professor walks in, you turn to get your laptop out of your bag, only to notice it wasn’t hanging on the back of your seat where you left it. You turn to the boy behind you with a pointed glare, and your eyes flick down to your bag in his lap.

“Jaehyun,” You warn.

“Y/N,” He mocks your tone.

“Give it back,” You reach over to grab your bag but he leans back to avoid your touch.

“Why should I?” He teases.

You pinch the bridge of your nose to ease the headache that was forming. “You’re holding my bag and you’re asking me why I need it back?”

“Tell me what you need and I can give it to you,” A taunting smile makes its way onto his face and you feel your composure slowly slipping.

“Jaehyun, I swear to fucking God if you don’t-“

“Alright students, let’s begin our lesson for today. I need all eyes to the front,” Your professor's voice cuts through the room and you clench your jaw.

“You probably need your laptop, don’t you?” Jaehyun jeers, pulling your laptop out and waving it in front of your face. You start to wonder what you did in your past life to deserve this kind of karma.

You grab the laptop from his hands before he can change his mind, turning your attention toward the powerpoint that’s projected onto the screen.

As your professor carries through the lesson, you type your notes fervently to keep up with his words. Your laptop dings and a notification pops up in the corner, causing your eyes to divert from the powerpoint to your screen. Your face sours when you see Jaehyun trying to Airdrop something to you, and you quickly hit decline before refocusing on your professor. You’re only able to regain your focus for a few seconds before another ding catches your attention. You decline the Airdrop request, pulling out your phone and typing out a rather angry message to the idiot behind you.

you: can you stop being annoying im actually trying to pay attention

jaehyun: you’re texting me🥺🥺🥺

jaehyun: what’d you save my name as ;)

you: jaehyun ???????

jaehyun: no heart emojis ?? wheres the love ;(

you: there is none

you: now leave me the FUCK alone or you won’t make it home after class

jaehyun: just accept the airdrop i promise you won’t regret it :))

You roll your eyes at the message before a notification pops up on your phone that makes your jaw drop. It was an Airdrop request from Jaehyun, your screen showing a picture of him standing in the mirror shirtless with his sweatpants hanging low on his hips. You ogle for longer than you’d like to admit, your eyes scanning the dips of his abs and the way his hip bones peek out from the waistband of his sweats. You shake yourself out of your daze, tapping the screen rapidly to decline the request. You see a message from Jaehyun pop up.

jaehyun: like what you see baby?

You peek over your shoulder with your face twisted in disgust and Jaehyun winks at you.

you: not in the slightest

You shut your phone off and put it face down on your desk, attempting to return your attention towards the lesson in front of you, but much to your dismay your mind reels with thoughts of the picture Jaehyun had sent you. The image he sent sears itself into your brain and your heart beats a little quicker against your own will. You clench your teeth in anger that you could only really direct at yourself and the way your mind has begun to waver when it comes to Jaehyun, the line between hatred and something thats definitely not that blurring more as the days go by.

“That’s it for today! Enjoy the rest of your week and I’ll see you next Monday,” Your professor's voice brings you out of your daze, your eyes darting around as if you were afraid that anyone could read your thoughts.

“Still thinking about it?” Jaehyun’s lips are dangerously close to the shell of your ear and you jump in your seat.

“Personal space, Jaehyun, Jesus fucking Christ,” You pant with a hand on your chest.

“Seems like you were a little distracted. Penny for your thoughts?” He teases, leaning his arms on the back of your chair as you gather your belongings.

“Thinking about ways to get rid of your body,” You mutter, reaching out to grab your bag but he holds his arm above his head.

“Not so fast, sweetheart,” He tuts. “Walk with me to my next class.”

“What’s with you today? Did you wake up this morning and decide that making me miserable was your goal?” You question.

“Just feeling a little lonely,” He shrugs, and you try to search his features for any signs of humor, your lips turning down into a frown when you realize he wasn’t joking.

“Oh,” You trail off, feeling a strange tug at your heart when he looks at you expectantly. “Whatever. Lead the way.”

He bounces on the balls of his feet before exiting the classroom with you in tow. He walks towards the glass doors that lead to the courtyard and you stop abruptly.

“Is your class in another building?” You quirk a brow.

“Yeah, something like that,” He smirks, eyes glinting with mischief as he turns back around and you continue to trail behind him.

You follow him as he walks off campus and eventually into the school's parking lot, your eyes narrowing at the back of his head as you stop in your tracks.

“You don’t have another class today, do you?” You stand with a hand on your hip as he turns around scratching his neck.

“Not really,” He laughs sheepishly, “but I need to ask you for a favor.”

“You couldn’t just ask me after class? You had to lie to me and practically kidnap me?” You look at him bewildered.

“I wanted to ask you in private,” He frowns.

“We’re in an open parking lot, Jaehyun.”

He looks around, suddenly realizing that there are students bustling around the parking lot. The tips of his ears burn a bright red as you run a hand through your hair in exasperation.

“Okay, whatever, I’ll just ask you. I need you to be my date for the sports banquet this Friday.”

You tilt your head quizzically, eyebrows furrowing as you look at the boy in front of you,“You’re joking, right?” You laugh.

“I’m serious,” He winces when your laugh trails off, shutting his eyes as if expecting you to freak out any moment now.

“Of all the people you know, you decided to ask me? What gave you the impression that this would be a good idea?” You question him slowly.

“I-okay hear me out. I needed a date and I can’t ask any of the girls I know because A. I’ve hooked up with some of them and B. they were already asked by my other friends and I can’t be the only one without a date Y/N, that shit is so embarrassing-”

“Okay, stop,” You hold a hand up to cut off his rambling and he quickly closes his mouth.

You ponder for a moment as you stare at Jaehyun, who shifts his weight from one foot to the other as he looks down at the ground. You’ve never seen him this nervous, his hands fidgeting with the keychains hanging from your bag that he’s still holding and his foot tapping on the ground. You don’t know what takes over you as you clear your throat to speak up.

“You owe me,” You mumble.

His eyes widen as he stares at you, expecting you to laugh in his face and say you were kidding, but when that never comes a smile slowly spreads across his features.

“You’re serious, right? Seriously serious? You can’t take it back- actually, I’m going to RSVP for the both of us right now,” He pulls out his phone and types quickly, and you find his excitement rather endearing. You catch yourself smiling and your face drops.

When the fuck did Jung Jaehyun become endearing to you?

You snatch your bag away from him as he types on his phone. “Text me the details. I’m going home,” You stammer, frantically swinging your bag over your shoulder and turning around.

“Wait, I can drive you!” He calls after you but you wave your hand in dismissal, pulling up your recent calls on your phone and tapping on the first name on the list as you speed walk away from Jaehyun.

“Donghyuck. You and Mark at my apartment tonight. I’ve lost my fucking mind.”

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

you stole my heart

and i, your willing victim

“And then I said yes! Like a fucking loser with no ounce of dignity, I said yes! Is that not the craziest, most batshit insane thing I’ve ever done?”

Mark and Donghyuck are currently sat at your kitchen island, distractedly munching on the array of snacks you put out for them as you debrief them on the events that had occurred earlier in the day.

“I had absolutely no reason to say yes. But it's like, he looked so nervous and I felt bad? Why the fuck did I feel bad?!” You huff angrily, squinting your eyes at your best friends when you notice them wordlessly chewing.

“Hello? A little bit of engagement would be appreciated, guys,” You wave a hand in front of their faces.

“Do you have juice or something? These chips are dry as fuck,” Donghyuck gets up to sift through your fridge.

“Are you even listening to me? Mark, what do you think?” You shift your attention to the glasses-wearing boy in front of you.

“I think,” He hums, staring off into the distance as he chews slowly on a tortilla chip, “that these chips need dip. Pass me the guac, Hyuck.”

“Mark!” You whine, your friend putting his hands up in defense as he takes the container of guacamole from Donghyuck.

“Bub, you’re not gonna like what we say so I don’t think there's any point in us saying it,” Donghyuck shrugs, sipping on the bottle of iced tea he took from your fridge.

“Anything is better than nothing. I’m all ears,” You push your hair behind your ears and motion for them to continue.

“I think you did it because you have feelings for him,” Hyuck states matter of factly and Mark draws his lips into a thin line while nodding.

“Wrong. Next,” You dismiss, the boys in front of you shrugging at your denial.

“Okay, next is he probably likes you too,” Mark points out.

“Even more wrong. Can we start being realistic please?” You plead, groaning when your friends shake their heads.

“Think about it! That man knows more women than you know people-“

“Okay, rude-“

“Yet he chose the one girl who, allegedly, hates him and isn’t trying to hop on his dick. He is very obviously into you, or at the very least he’s interested.”

Donghyuck’s hands are on his hips now, Mark nodding enthusiastically along to every word.

“Amen, brother,” Mark raises his hand in praise.

You roll your eyes at the two boys, scowling at the thought of any potential feelings involving Jaehyun.

“It was because he hooked up with all of them already and they all hate him!” You defend yourself. Mark and Donghyuck share a look.

“Is that what he told you?” Mark quirks a brow.

“Yes.”

Your friends share another series of knowing looks, smirks slowly adorning their features as your eyes bounce between them in confusion.

“Stop looking at each other and speak!” You shout impatiently.

“Jung Jaehyun, notorious non hooker-upper, told you that he hooked up with so many women that he’s out of options? That’s funny,” Hyuck snorts.

You blink, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion as you process the words you just heard.

“What are you talking about?” You ask.

“Oh poor little Y/N. So caught up in her own little world that she doesn’t know any campus gossip,” Mark rounds the corner of your kitchen island and swings an arm around your shoulders, ruffling your hair gently.

“What gossip?” You swat him off.

“Bub, Jaehyun doesn’t do hook ups. He has not hooked up with a single girl on campus, especially not the ones who throw themselves at him every single day like Soojin.”

You tilt your head to the side as the gears in your brain start turning. You could have sworn you heard stories of his fuckboy antics, his friend group being known throughout campus for having an ongoing hookup counter.

“Johnny and Yuta fuck anything that moves. I don’t doubt he’s the same way,” You laugh nervously, anxiety bubbling in your stomach at the way your friends study your reactions.

“His whole schtick is that he’s different from his friends. That’s why he’s such a babe magnet,” Mark sighs defeatedly and Donghyuck pats his shoulder in mock sympathy.

You let the information marinate for a second, the fuckboy image you’ve built of Jung Jaehyun slowly coming crashing down as you pick apart every rumor you’ve ever heard.

“Look at her face, you can tell she’s realizing she was wrong about him,” Donghyuck murmurs to Mark, breaking you from your train of thoughts.

“I-I’m-I wasn’t wrong! The rumors had to start from somewhere!” Your argument comes out weakly, making Mark and Donghyuck shake their heads in disapproval.

“See, now she’s denying reality. Poor thing,” Mark fake cries into Hyuck’s shoulder.

“Guys!” You whine.

“Alright, alright we’re just joking. But in all seriousness, sooner or later you’re gonna have to accept the fact that he’s not a bad guy and if you weren’t so dead set on hating him for something he did when he was in highschool, you’d probably be jumping his bones because lets face it, the sexual tension between you two is suffocating, and everyone loves a good enemies to lovers.”

You gawk at Donghyuck as he sips from his bottle calmly.

“I’m not gonna lie Y/N, for lack of better wording, he ate you up with that,” Mark pipes up after a beat of silence.

“I’m-you-whatever! I’m going to my room, don’t wreck my place,” You mumble as you retreat back towards your bedroom.

“We’re sleeping over!” Hyuck calls after you and you wave a dismissive hand in the air, knowing all too well that they knew your apartment like the backs of their hands.

When you reach the solace of your bedroom, you shut the door softly as your friends begin to argue over what movie to watch for the night. Your thoughts dizzy you as you slowly crawl on top of your sheets and hug a pillow close to your chest.

You wanted to believe that Jaehyun was a liar and that he somehow was able to trick your friends into believing he was a good guy. You wanted so desperately to believe that you were right, and that your long lived hatred for him has always been valid.

You think back to highschool, the teenage angst and awkwardness of it all making you cringe internally as you reminisce. As if it happened days ago, the image of you and Jaehyun on the bleachers during field day remains vivid in your mind. Every detail is burned into your memory; the way the wind felt, the sound of the students laughter that rang throughout the field, and even more specifically the way Jaehyun’s cheeks were tinted a light pink as he spoke to you.

“Are you saying that you, Jung Jaehyun, haven’t had your first kiss yet and we’re in our senior year?” You arch your brow at him, shifting the lollipop in your mouth to the side as you peer at him curiously.

“Oh, come on, don’t act all high and mighty. You haven’t had yours either!” He exclaims with a finger pointed at you. You shush him with a hand over his mouth, and he puts his hands up in mock surrender.

“That’s a different story! You..you’re Jung Jaehyun. Literally all the girls in our graduating class have dreamt about kissing you since freshmen year. You got the most cheers at the talent show last year even though you looked dumb as fuck singing ‘All I Want For Christmas is You’ in that Rudolph sweater,” You snort at the memory as the tips of Jaehyun’s ears are painted scarlet.

“Just because I allegedly have options, doesn’t mean I want any of them to be my first kiss,” He huffs, “And look who’s talking! We’re in the same boat, you know.”

You narrow your eyes at him scrutinizingly, “What are you talking about? If I had guys throwing themselves at me, maybe I would have had my first kiss by now.”

“What about Mark or Donghyuck? I’m surprised neither of them have asked you out yet.”

“Ew, what? They’re my best friends,” You look out onto the field where Mark is currently chasing Donghyuck with an inflatable flamingo in his hands. “I could never date them. And I’m almost certain Hyuck has already kissed Mark at some point.”

Jaehyun raises his eyebrows at the information he just heard, shrugging his shoulders as he watches your best friends with you. “Besides them. It’s hard to believe you don’t have guys throwing themselves at you. You’re…not ugly.”

It was your turn to blush at his bold statement, your hands instinctively coming up to tousle your hair shyly, “Same goes for you…I guess.”

Theres an awkward tension in the air as you two avoid eye contact with each other, opting to look out onto the field where Mark now has Donghyuck in a headlock. After a few moments of suffocating silence between you two, Jaehyun speaks up.

“What if we were each others first kiss?”

You choke on your own spit at his words, coughing erratically as you clap a hand over your chest in an attempt to stop. When you manage to catch your breath, you look at him in bewilderment, searching his eyes for any signs of humor but finding none.

“Are you serious?”

“Why not? We both haven’t had ours yet, and it’d be better than losing our first kiss to a stranger,” He shrugs a little too nonchalantly at the suggestion, and your face twists even more in confusion.

You stare at him for a moment as you think about his suggestion, his logic making more sense than you’d like to admit. You become increasingly aware of the butterflies in your stomach and the drumming in your chest as you continue to stare at him, and you force yourself to look away as you clear your throat.

“I guess it’s not a bad idea,” You mumble, and you hear him let out a breath.

“Great. Meet me in front of the vending machines in 15 minutes,” He shoots you a wink before getting up from his spot next to you and walking off the field, your eyes following his movements as he disappears from your line of vision.

You look down at the digital watch on your arm, watching as a minute passes, then five, then ten. When the fifteen minutes have passed you stand from your seat, taking in a deep breath before walking in the same direction that Jaehyun went. You could feel your heartbeat quickening as you near the vending machines and you wipe your clammy palms on your pants before you round the corner, your mouth opening in shock as you watch the scene that unfolds before you.

There, in front of the vending machines, stood Jung Jaehyun with his back facing you, and a rather happy looking Kang Soojin with her lips attached to his.

You don’t waste another second before you stomp away from the two of them, your cheeks burning in embarrassment as you angrily wipe away the stray tear that made its way down your cheek. You mentally curse yourself for getting your hopes up in the first place, the excited buzz you felt earlier being replaced with an overwhelming sense of stupidity. You let out a bitter laugh.

You suppose you were quite the idiot for believing that someone like Jaehyun could ever make space for someone like you in his heart.

A wave of embarrassment washes over you as you recall the events that happened that day and you shudder, urging your brain to think about anything else so you could bury that memory.

The moment of him asking you to the sports banquet pops into your head, the genuine excited glimmer in his eyes when you said yes still fresh in your memory making you sigh. As easy as it was to accept the rumors as truth, the way your friends spoke of him riddled your head with uncertainty. He was one of the few people you could never read, and if you were honest you found yourself thinking about him lately, more often than you’d like to admit.

You squeeze your eyes shut and shake your head, physically trying to rid your brain of Jaehyun. You open your bedroom door to the sounds of what you could only assume to be Despicable Me and you smile, knowing it was Mark’s idea and Donghyuck was probably pouting on your couch right now. When you walk out you’re greeted to the exact sight you were expecting to see.

“Y/N, he’s making me watch this stupid fucking minion movie again,” Hyuck whines from one corner of your couch.

“Stupid minion movie? That’s literally you!” Mark points at the screen when a minion pops up.

You don’t know what it is but the presence of your two best friends eases the racing of your mind, a small smile decorating your features as you watch them argue back and forth about who was more of a minion.

“Why are you just standing there? We left your spot open!” Hyuck pats the spot between them that you claimed as yours ages ago. After you settle yourself between them, you feel Mark pat your head and you turn to him.

“Stop thinking so much, it’s bad for your brain. You’re gonna end up like Hyuck,” He smiles reassuringly at you and you don’t even get the chance to smile back before a handful of popcorn is launched in his direction.

“What does that even mean? My brain and I are perfectly functional, thank you very much,” Hyuck huffs from beside you.

“Don’t throw food!” Mark exclaims before promptly picking up the pieces of popcorn that were scattered on his lap and popping them into his mouth.

Even with the grimace on your face and the sound of Donghyuck going off on a tangent about how he has a higher IQ than Mark, you couldn’t be more thankful that your mind had started to stray far away from Jaehyun.

You just hope it could stay that way.

*･･*:.｡..｡.:*･'♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

you’re still written in the scars on my heart

If you had realized sooner that getting ready for a banquet would be this stressful, you might have said no a lot easier.

As you viciously pat powder onto your face, Donghyuck stands in front of your closet door with a steamer to your dress and Mark wipes down your shoes.

“Are we sure you’re not going to bust your ass in these?” Mark holds up one of the heels and examines it.

“She’s fine. Don’t talk to her, she's already running behind schedule,” Donghyuck barks from his corner of your room.

“What’s his problem?” Mark quirks a brow in your direction.

“He’s a little upset because I dragged him to the mall with me this morning to get those because I forgot about shoes,” You point at the heels in Marks hand.

“I told you to have everything ready like what, a week ago? And now here we are running to Macy’s of all places to find you a pair of shoes?” Donghyuck nags as you two speed walk through the mall.

“God, why did I not bring Mark instead of you? I should have known you’d be no help,” You grumble under your breath.

“First of all, Mark couldn’t tell a stiletto from a kitten heel. You need my expertise if you’re gonna be Jung Jaehyuns date,” Hyuck scoffs.

“Not his date! His plus one!” You exclaim dramatically, cowering slightly when you realize you might have been too loud.

“Date and plus one are the same thing, but okay. Let’s just find you a nice pair of black platforms with ankle straps to go with your dress,” Donghyuck claps his hands together as you gawk at him for even knowing what that was.

The memory of Donghyuck and you this morning makes you giggle as you sweep glitter onto your eyelids.

“Don’t laugh! You’re gonna crease your makeup!” Hyuck shouts at you as he looks through your jewelry box and holds up different pairs of earrings next to you.

“Hyuck, you seem to be more into this than Y/N. Do you want to take her place?” Mark snickers.

“Oh, excuse me for not wanting my best friend to embarrass herself at the biggest event of the school year,” Donghyuck rolls his eyes dramatically, holding up a pair of sparkly silver hoops to your face, “Yes! These are it.”

“It’s just another sports banquet. They have like, ten of them every year,” You shrug.

“Just another sports banquet is absolutely insane, Y/N. You do realize he’s not even on the hockey team and yet he was still invited? Do you know why?” Hyuck has a hand on his hip as he stares at you expectantly.

“…He’s not on the hockey team?”

“Because of his friends! Johnny and Yuta are our schools top hockey stars and every year, they invite him to that damn banquet because you know whats better than two hot guys in suits? Three hot guys in suits. They are the trio, Y/N, and everyone there is on the same level of hot and popular as them, if not more. That banquet you’re going to is literally just an excuse for all the popular kids to show off their parents money and get hyped up for their shitty gameplay,” Donghyuck lets out in one breath and you feel your hands start to slightly tremble.

“Well, now you got her all nervous, dumbass. I’m pretty sure he didn’t tell her for a reason!” Mark points out and Donghyuck looks at you with worried eyes.

“Oh god, please don’t start crying or sweating, your makeup is almost done,” He gently smoothes a hand over your hair and you swat him away.

“I’m fine. A little nervous now, thanks to you, but nothing I can’t handle,” You mumble quietly to hide the shaking in your voice.

A ding! causes all of you to freeze in your spots and look at each other, Mark being the first one to move as he grabs your phone and unplugs it from the charger.

“Jaehyun says “be there in 10 sweetheart” with a heart emoji. Sweetheart?!” He exclaims as he reads the message on your phone over again.

“That’s not the point! He’s almost here and I’m not dressed!” You yelp as you douse your face in setting spray.

“Okay, its go time! Get dressed and take your hair out of the rollers. If he comes, I’ll greet him at the door and distract him so you have time for shoes and perfume. Go!” Hyuck claps his hands together and drags Mark out of the room with him. You walk up to your dress and remove the hanger, slipping into it quickly and easily zipping it up yourself. You walk towards your mirror and your eyes slightly widen at your own appearance.

You’ve grown so accustomed to your usual casual attire that the sight of you in a dress almost feels foreign, and you find yourself turning side to side to admire the way the dress accentuates your features.

“Heels,” You whisper to yourself before you perch yourself on the edge of your bed and begin strapping on the black heels Donghyuck picked out for you earlier in the day.

You hear your apartment door open and you recognize Jaehyuns voice as he greets Donghyuck and Mark. You mutter curses to yourself as you quickly spray on your perfume and deodorant, letting them dry down as you pack your purse with your necessities for the night.

You become increasingly aware of the anxiety that settles in the pit of your stomach at the thought of Jaehyun seeing you all dressed up, and you find yourself involuntarily double checking your appearance in the mirror. You take a deep breath before opening your bedroom door.

“Just have her back by midnight latest. It gets a little creepy around here at night,” You hear Donghyuck say and you shake your head in disbelief at your friend.

“Hyuck, I’m not your daughter you know,” You call out as you walk out of your bedroom, all three sets of eyes landing on you.

Donghyuck wipes a fake tear from his eye as he looks at you and Mark lets out a low whistle as he admires your form.

“You look great, bub. I did a great job,” Hyuck pats himself on the back and you roll your eyes, slowly turning your head to gauge Jaehyun’s reaction.

He stands impressively still as his eyes rake up and down your body, and you want to cower instinctively at his almost predatory gaze. His eyes trail up your body to finally meet your eyes and you swear there’s a hint of something, but Mark claps a hand in front of his face and it goes away in an instant.

“Hey. Stop staring at my best friend like that,” Mark scowls, regarding Jaehyun with caution as he narrows his eyes at him.

Jaehyun clears his throat, straightening his shoulders before turning to Mark with a smirk, “Is it my fault this is my first time seeing her in something that isn’t her church girl clothes?”

“Church girl clothes? I dress perfectly normal, thank you very much,” You scoff, walking towards the front door, looking at Jaehyun expectantly. “Are you coming or what?”

Donghyuck and Mark watch with knowing smiles as Jaehyun walks towards the front door, his eyes never leaving your figure as he stands next to you.

“Wait!”

You both turn your heads at Donghyucks voice, and you’re nearly blinded by the flash that goes off. When you regain your vision, you see Hyuck holding up his digital camera, and you groan.

“Dude!” You whine, Jaehyun chuckling as he gently guides you out of your apartment.

“Have fun listening to EDM all night! And make sure you stay away from Yangyang!” Mark calls out as you step into the hallway of your apartment building and you raise an eyebrow. When the door of your apartment finally closes, Jaehyun turns to you, his dimples on full display as he gives you a quick once over.

“Ready, my lady?” He offers his hand out to you and you scowl, ignoring the way your heart thumps a little harder at his offer to hold hands.

“You seriously owe me one, asshole. Let’s get this over with,” You mutter, walking away from him and towards the elevators.

Jaehyun watches you with an unreadable expression plastered on his face as you walk in front of him, and he lets out a laugh, speaking low enough for only him to hear.

“Let’s get it over with.”

･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

One hour into the banquet and you were starting to think that Mark had some sort of psychic ability.

Shitty EDM blasts through the speakers and you gulp down the remainder of your champagne with a grimace. Your eyes flit around the room, landing on Liu Yangyang as he shotguns a beer in the corner with Johnny. A chorus of cheers erupt when Johnny finishes first and he receives several pats on his back as he makes his way over to you, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“You need another drink, pretty?” He shouts over the music, and it takes every fiber of your being to not gag at the smell of beer coming from him. You eye the way his tie is now secured on his head like a bandana, and you offer him a tight lipped smile.

“I’m good, thanks,” You call out, shooting him a thumbs up and he nods, stumbling over to the table of new pledges and forcing them to take shots with him.

Against your own will, your eyes search the crowd for a certain dimpled boy, and you find yourself frowning slightly when you can’t see him. You feel a hand on your shoulder and you turn to see Jaehyun looking down at you with a small crease forming between his brows.

“Why was Johnny talking to you?” He leans down to speak over the music, and you start to wonder if the champagne is the reason you find the proximity dizzying.

“He asked if I wanted another drink. I said no,” You answer.

Jaehyun looks at you for a moment, as if considering something, before he leans closer to your ear and speaks.

“Let’s step outside for a second.”

You never agree to something quicker, standing to your feet and letting Jaehyun guide you out to the lobby and up a flight of marble stairs. His hand rests too comfortably on the small of your back, and you ignore the way his touch feels like fire on your skin.

Maybe you were a lightweight after all and maybe the effects of the champagne were starting to take place, making you more perceptive to the way he stayed close to you as you passed by groups of people.

He leads you to an empty room upstairs, walking towards the large glass doors at the end and sliding them open. You step out onto the terrace, your eyes taking in the view of the field below, decorated with fairy lights and flowers for the banquet. Jaehyun shuts the door behind him, walking up to stand next to you as you look up at the inky sky.

“Woah, you can see the stars so well. They’re so pretty,” You breathe out.

Jaehyun’s eyes study your features that are dimly light by the glow of the fairy lights, and he mumbles quietly to himself, “Very pretty.”

A light breeze creeps its way over your form and you shiver, crossing your arms over your chest to try to garner a little warmth.

Jaehyun doesn’t miss the way you cower slightly as the temperature drops, his arms moving quickly to take his blazer off and drape it over your shoulders.

“Oh, I’m good,” You protest, starting to slide the jacket off your shoulders but stopping when Jaehyun puts two hands on your shoulders to readjust the jacket.

“Keep it on. I don’t wanna hear your ass complaining when you get sick and can’t sing at the showcase,” He mumbles, the glint of fondness in his eyes going unnoticed as you grumble under your breath that you’re fine but slipping your arms through the jacket nonetheless.

“Even if I get sick, I’d still sing better than you any day,” You joke, a small smile making its way onto your face upon seeing Jaehyun’s dimples slowly deepen.

“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N. My biggest hater yet you still agreed to be my date for tonight,” He tuts.

Despite the cool air nipping at your nose, you could still feel the warmth spread on your cheeks at his words.

“I am not your date…I’m your plus one,” You articulate, hesitating before you finally ask what had been on your mind all night, “Why did you ask me to go anyways? I know you had other options.”

Jaehyun ponders for a moment, his lips drawing into a line before he lets out a breath.

“I guess I did have other options. None of them were my first choice though.”

You’re thankful that the sky was dark enough to hide the stupid blush that blooms on your cheeks at his words. “And I was your first choice because…?”

“You’re kidding, right?” He snorts, looking up at the sky with a sigh, “Senior year field day.”

Your eyes almost bulge out of your head as those words leave his lips, and you whip your head to the side to look at him.

“W-what about it?” You stammer embarrassingly, your heartbeat quickening as you wait for him to answer you.

“We were supposed to be each others first kiss and you didn’t show up. I can’t say I wasn’t bummed, you know,” He’s still looking out at the sky as he speaks, and you hate that even in a situation like this, you couldn’t help but admire the way the moon dances over his features.

“I did show up and you were kissing Soojin. So I wouldn’t have even been your first kiss,” You mumble, and you hate the way you almost sound disappointed.

He lets out a dry laugh. “Yeah, I can’t blame you for leaving. But, just for the record, she stole it from me. I wanted it to be you.”

You didn’t think it was possible for your eyes to widen any more than they already were, your lips parting in surprise as you try to process what he just said.

“She…stole it?” You repeat his words and he nods slowly, choosing to ignore the part where he said he wanted you to be his first kiss for the sake of your own sanity.

“I guess she heard us talking about it or something. She followed me to the vending machines and just kinda…threw herself onto me,” He admits, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

Not only did Jaehyun just completely deconstruct the reason behind your hatred for him, but he did so while also admitting that he wanted you to be his first kiss. An unfamiliar feeling bubbles in your stomach and you rack your brain for something to say.

“Well that…sucks,” You wince at your own words, mentally smacking yourself in the head for not being able to think of anything else. A little sigh of relief escapes your lips when Jaehyun laughs.

“It did suck. I wanted it to be you,” He repeats his words from earlier and he turns to you, looking at you with sincerity written all over his sharp features.

You come to the conclusion that you’re definitely in way over your head right now. You blame the champagne, no, you blame the way the cologne on Jaehyun’s blazer completely clouds your senses.

“Why’s that?” You say quietly, your eyes locked onto his intently.

“Why do you think?” He says calmly, turning to face his entire body towards you before stepping closer.

The tension between you two is enough to suffocate you, and you blame that for your lack of rationality and judgement as you let him enter your space, your eyes never leaving his as he towers over you even in your heels.

“Jaehyun…” You mumble, not sure if it was an attempt to stop him or a cue for him to close the space between you two.

“I’ve really, really wanted to make up for that kiss. Can I?” He speaks quietly, his eyes searching yours for permission.

You’ve definitely had too much champagne tonight, and that’s why you end up nodding.

His hand hesitantly comes up to gently cradle your jaw, your eyes never leaving his as your heart pounds excessively in your chest. He inches closer, his lips barely brushing against yours before a loud bang in the distance causes you to jump away from him. You turn your head towards the field where Yangyang lights up a row of boxes, and you watch as sparks of red and white shoot into the night sky. Not even a second later, you hear a chorus of laughter from the room behind you and the glass doors slide open. Johnny and Yuta come stumbling onto the terrace with three other guys you don’t recognize, and they smile drunkenly at you before whooping at the next round of fireworks.

“Holy shit, we have the best view in the house!” Johnny slurs, whipping out his phone and recording the fireworks as the other boys clink their beer bottles together.

You’re suddenly very aware of the fact that you almost kissed Jaehyun just now, and you let out a small gasp. You look over at Jaehyun, who watches his friends with a scowl, and you quickly slip his blazer off of your shoulders and shove it in his arms, the smell of his cologne lingering on you far longer than you appreciated.

“I’m…I,” You can barely get your words out, so you resort to pointing your thumb at the glass doors behind you to signify you’re leaving. You turn to walk back into the venue but his hand gently wraps around your wrist, and you look back at him.

“Wait, let me take you home,” He nearly pleads, but you simply shake your head and pull your arm out of his grasp. He tries to speak again but Johnny wraps an arm around his shoulder and tugs him into a group selfie.

Your mind is a whirlwind of thoughts as you make your way back into the venue, your cheeks hot as you weave through the crowds of people that litter the space. You quickly pull your phone out when you reach the front, ordering yourself an Uber and sitting on the curb as you try to process what just happened. The single glass of champagne you had was slowly starting to wear off, and you’re left with no excuses for the way your heart still hasn’t stopped hammering in your chest even after you’ve left Jaehyun’s vicinity.

You’re almost certain you look insane right now, sitting on the sidewalk with your head in your hands as you mumble “I’m fucked” over and over again under your breath. A car horn causes you to jump in your spot, and you look up to see what you could only assume to be your Uber. You get in, confirming your address with the driver before he begins to pull away from the curb, and you lean back in your seat with a huff.

“Rough night?” The driver chirps, and you let out a dry laugh, the fog in your brain beginning to lift and leaving you feeling slightly disappointed and confused.

“Something like that.”

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

we’re collecting dust

but our loves enough

There’s a noticeably thick tension between you and Jaehyun the next day at rehearsals.

You’re well aware that his eyes had been laser-focused on you from the minute you walked into the auditorium and it left you with an unsettling pit in your stomach as you tried to engage in conversations with your friends to distract yourself from the boy shamelessly staring at you.

“Is it just me or is Jaehyun staring at you?” Renjun asks from the seat behind you.

Mark and Donghyuck snap their necks towards the boy in question, their eyes following his gaze to confirm Renjun’s statement, only to have it land on you.

“Come on now, why would he stare at me?” You smile sheepishly to feign innocence. Donghyuck gasps loudly and jumps out of his seat, causing the surrounding students to avert their attention towards him.

“Is this about last nigh-”

You clap a hand over his mouth and force him back into his seat before he can finish his sentence. His eyes are about to pop out of his head as you offer an apologetic smile to the students who glare at your group.

“What the hell is wrong with you?! Do you want the entire school to know my business?” You whisper-shout as you remove your hand from his mouth.

“Holy shit, I need to know what happened, start to finish. Better yet, I need a play-by-play of what happened from the moment you left the house,” He rambles, bouncing in his seat excitedly.

“Mark, make him stop,” You groan, rubbing at your temples.

“I would love to, but I’m also curious,” Mark winces when you shoot a glare in his direction.

You sigh. It would definitely make the load on your shoulders feel lighter if you vent about last night’s events to your friends. You barely get the chance to open your mouth before Professor Kim walks into the auditorium.

“Hello, students! Give me ten seconds to get the speakers and mics on and we’ll be up and running!” He chirps as he sets his clipboard down and walks onto the stage to set up.

“I’ll tell you guys after rehearsals. My place, tonight,” You whisper to the three boys before you all turn towards the stage.

Professor Kim stands on the stage with a happy grin, eyes scanning the students in the audience before he looks down at his clipboard.

“Today we’re going to try to do rehearsals with the curtains and lights. First pair up is Y/N and Jaehyun!”

It was your turn for your eyes to bulge out of your head. You look over to your partner, only to quickly look away when you realize his eyes are already focused on you, a taunting smirk adorning his stupid face.

“Come on up, guys” Professor Kim calls out.

You hesitantly stand up, looking back at your friends who give you reassuring nods. You trudge through the backstage doors and up the steps, walking onto the stage and positioning yourself at one of the mic stands. In your peripheral, you see Jaehyun only a few steps behind you, doing the same as the curtains close.

“I need to talk to you, you know,” You can feel the way his eyes bore into the side of your face as he speaks, and you sigh.

“Let’s just get this over with.”

The opening chords of the song starts playing and the curtains open, the stage lights shining directly onto you and Jaehyun. You start off the song, easily moving through the first verse and chorus. When Jaehyun’s verse starts, you tense up, doing your best to remember Professor Kim’s notes from your past few rehearsals. You watch as Jaehyun sings his lines while looking directly at you, your eyes getting lost in his as you both start singing together. The bridge approaches quickly and before you even realize it, you’re both standing in front of each other, the lyrics feeling more like a conversation between you two than the words to a song.

This is a performance. You’re both putting on an act.

You try to repeat those words to yourself mentally, but it all goes out the window when his hand reaches out to gently graze your cheek. Your eyes try to search his and for a second, you swear they’re filled with nothing but longing.

The last note of the song echoes throughout the auditorium and you’re both staring at each other. Something is definitely different, but you can’t quite put your finger on what. You feel something bubbling in your chest and your stomach, and if you weren’t so lost in the way his lips curl up into a smile, you’d be able to figure out what it was.

The stage lights dim and there's scattered applause coming from the other performers and the crew. You snap back into reality and look into the audience where you see your best friends looking at you with a knowing smile. You put the mic back onto its stand and rush backstage, where you sit down on a crate and collect your breath.

“Hey, that was great,” Jaehyun pants, slowly approaching where you’re sitting.

“Right, yeah.”

“I told you I’d make a great partner,” he jokes and you shake your head.

“Yeah, whatever. I can’t wait until this is over with,” you mumble to yourself, but he doesn’t miss it.

“You hate me that much, huh?“

“Why are you acting surprised?”

You finally look up at him and if it wasn’t so dark backstage, you’d be able to see the smirk on his features.

“Cause the way you look at me on stage says different.”

The look on his face is enough to send shivers down your spine, but you’re so lost in his aura that you still can’t distinguish what it is. You need to snap back to reality soon, otherwise you’ll lose complete control of the reigns you have on your feelings. The sound of the backstage door opening causes you to shift your attention to Mark and Donghyuck, who come rushing in with the biggest shit-eating grins you’ve ever seen. You’re suddenly very aware that your two best friends were watching it all happen, and you stand up abruptly.

“It’s called having stage personality and presence. Maybe you should try it sometime.”

You don’t even give yourself time to process the change in his face before you walk off, grabbing Mark and Hyuck along with you.

When you reach the audience, you collapse into a seat, and Hyuck is the first one to break the silence after a series of knowing stares between him and Mark. “So…you hate him, huh?”

“Hyuck,” you whine.

“Innocent question, Y/N.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose and gesture for them to sit next to you. They’re now on either side of you, waiting for you to speak.

“I feel insane,” you almost laugh, but nothing was particularly funny in this situation. You just feel like you need to laugh to lighten the heavy feeling on your chest.

“Because you might not actually hate him?” Mark inquires, and you shake your head.

“Because I don’t think I ever really did.”

Your friends send you sympathetic glances, Hyucks eyes darting towards the doors that lead backstage when it squeaks open. He watches Jaehyun walk out seemingly disheveled, before he makes a beeline for the auditorium exit to avoid the stares of the other students. “Is it so bad to be wrong about someone?”

You sigh and rub your eyes. There were too many thoughts swirling around your head and it made you dizzy.

“Can we step outside?” You ask them and they stand, leading you towards the back of the auditorium. Mark pushes the door open but barely takes a step out before he freezes in his spot with Donghyuck doing the same, causing you to bump into their backs.

“Oh shit.”

You look up upon hearing those words leave Mark's mouth, and your blood runs cold.

Jaehyun was leaning against the corridor wall, Kang Soojin latching onto him like the bloodsucking leech she is. And just like that, you’re back in highschool watching Soojin kiss Jaehyun in front of the vending machines again.

You don’t know what it was about the sight but you felt sick to your stomach, your breathing becoming shallow and your hands shaking.

“Woah, Y/N, you okay?” You hear Mark ask, but your heartbeat is so loud in your ears that he sounds far away.

Your eyes finally break away from the sight and you stomp forward, walking through the corridor without another word. You keep up your speed until you’re sure you're far enough from the devil himself, and you turn the corner of the hallway.

“Y/N! Wait up!” You hear your friends call after you.

You slide down the wall and sit on the floor, tears sliding down your cheeks even though you’re not exactly sure why.

You thought you hated Jaehyun. You thought you’ve hated him ever since highschool. But why did the sight of him and Soojin make your chest ache? Why was it so easy for him to make your resolve crumble? Why couldn’t you get him out of your head?

“Jesus Christ, are you okay?” Mark pants, crouching down to examine your crying figure. The tears wouldn’t stop coming no matter how hard you tried to control it.

“Bub…” Hyuck sits down next to you and wraps an arm around your shoulder. You lean into him and you let the tears fall silently this time.

It’s silent as Donghyuck holds you close and Mark sits in front of you and strokes your hand. You didn’t know what to say, but you knew you didn’t have to explain anything to them just yet. You let them comfort you in silence, not worrying about the dread that came with knowing you’d have to talk about it at some point.

“Let’s go home.”

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

we’re not broken just bent,

and we can learn to love again

You skip the next two rehearsals despite every bone in your body fighting to be on the stage. You make up a lie about being sick to Professor Kim, and Mark and Donghyuck cover for you.

It wasn’t an entire lie. You definitely felt a churning in your stomach since the incident and it made you nauseous. Your phone had been on silent for two days, and your hand had been itching to pick it up and see if Jaehyun had texted you.

The clock blinks 2:14 AM as you shuffle back into your room after using the bathroom. You pull back your comforter and slip into bed with a long sigh, curling yourself into the same position you had been in for the past two days and letting your eyes flutter shut.

Your phone vibrates from your nightstand and you ignore it, assuming it’s either Mark or Donghyuck calling to check up on you. The vibrating stops and your room fills with silence for a brief moment before your phone rings again.

You reach behind you with your eyes still closed, swiping across the screen to accept the call before bringing it up to your ear.

“I’m alive, boys. I appreciate your concern but it is 2 AM,” You croak into the phone, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Not boys, just boy. And if I knew all I needed to do to talk to you was call you, I would have done it a lot sooner.”

Your eyes shoot open and you damn near jump out of bed.

“Jaehyun?” Your voice cracks. “Why are you calling me at two o’clock in the morning?”

“You’re gonna ask me that when you’ve been MIA for the past two days?” He scoffs into the receiver.

“If Professor Kim told you to check up on me, I’m fine. Are we done here?” Your voice is shaky as you try to maintain your usual cold demeanor towards him.

“God damn it, Y/N,” He snaps. “I’m calling you because I want to. Because I care. You can’t disappear for two days and not respond to my texts then expect me to not give a shit. Cut the fucking attitude.”

A tense silence envelopes the call as you fiddle with the drawstrings of your pajama shorts. All traces of fatigue have left your body upon hearing Jaehyun’s voice, making you sigh deeply as you lean against your headboard.

“I’m fine, Jaehyun,” You chew at your bottom lip in an attempt to keep the lump in your throat at bay.

“Stop saying that when both you and I know it’s not true.”

That was the final push that sent your last bits of sanity off the edge.

“What do you want from me, Jaehyun? Do you want me to sit here and cry to you about how shitty I feel right now? Do you want me to tell you that I wish I didn’t have to go back to rehearsals because I have barely been able to get out of bed for the past two days?” You cry.

It’s silent again, embarrassment slowly seeping into your veins as you wipe the streaks of tears from your cheeks.

“Do you want me to tell Professor Kim to excuse you from the performance? I can do it solo,” His voice is surprisingly gentle.

You stare ahead at your black TV screen as you think about Jaehyun’s words. Performing at the spring showcase has always been one of your favourite times of the year, and you knew that if you didn’t perform this year you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself. Especially knowing that it meant you’d have to admit that the reason behind your dejection was Jaehyun.

“No, I can…I can come back tomorrow,” Your voice is uneasy.

“Tomorrow’s Saturday, sweetheart,” He laughs.

You hate the way the pet name makes your heart clench.

“Right, then Monday. I’ll be back on Monday,” You sputter, smacking your palm to your forehead in an attempt to regain composure. You feel another surge of embarrassment when you hear him laughing again. “If that’s it, I’m gonna go to bed, Jaehyun.”

“Wait!” He calls out, and you hum curiously at his urgency.

“I know you didn’t ask but, there’s nothing going on with me and Soojin. She was on me. You guys really just came out at a bad time,” He breathes out and you feel heat rushing to your cheeks at the thought that he knew you were bothered by him and Soojin.

“I-the-um-that doesn’t matter to me,” You attempt to lie, the shaking in your voice not only apparent to you but to Jaehyun as well, who laughs at your failed efforts. You smack your palm to your head again at the embarrassment that has yet to leave your body since the call started.

“That’s a shame. I was told it did,” You hear the traces of a smile in his voice and you pale.

“Who told you what?” You squeak.

“Let’s just say one of them is a really bad liar and the other one is a chronic yapper. I’m sure you can figure it out from there,” He laughs into the receiver and you curse under your breath.

“Those idiots,” You grumble.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m glad it does matter to you,” He speaks, the blush returning to your cheeks as you continue to stutter embarrassingly into the phone.

“I said it doesn’t,” You muster, not even believing your own words.

“Whatever you say, sweetheart. Get some rest, yeah? I need my partner in tip top shape on Monday,” He chirps.

“Yeah, I will. Thanks for checking in, Jaehyun. I appreciate it,” Your lips slowly spread into a smile and he hums.

“Oh, and Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t care if you don’t reply to anybody else’s calls or texts. But don’t pull that shit with me or I swear to God I’ll show up to your house next time.”

You let out a giggle at his request, nodding to yourself and not missing the way he sighs, almost contently, into the phone. You hate to admit it, but this was the best you’ve felt in the past few days.

“Goodnight, Jaehyun,” You laugh quietly.

“You should laugh more often, Y/N. Sweet dreams,” He voices before you hear the noise that signals he hung up.

You return your phone to its place on your nightstand before falling back onto your pillows.

“What the fuck?” You whisper to yourself, clapping a hand over your mouth after a girlish giggle slips past your lips.

That night, you fall asleep peacefully with an undeniable smile etched onto your features, as soft brown eyes and deep dimples occupy your dreams. When you wake up in the morning you swear the sun shines a little brighter, and you go about your morning with ease and a small smile.

Getting back to rehearsals feels easy and you quickly fall back into routine, your performance with Jaehyun getting stronger as the day of the show approaches. Neither of you bring up what happened, and quite frankly you couldn’t be more glad that he seemingly swept it under the rug for your sake. The idea of having that complicated conversation nearly made you retch every time you thought about it, so you continually prayed that he would forget about it as time passes.

But unfortunately for you, the universe doesn’t seem to hear your prayers.

It’s the Thursday night before the performance and you’re the last one to pack up and leave the auditorium after a long day of rehearsal. You sling your bag over your shoulder with a sigh, fishing your phone out of your pocket to check the time and frowning when you see it was almost 8pm. The loud squeak of the auditorium door startles you, and you look up to see Jaehyun sauntering down the aisle towards you.

“Why are you still here? You scared the shit out of me,” You call out, a hand on your chest to stop the racing of your heart.

“I was waiting for you. Mark and Donghyuck left, and I wasn’t going to leave you alone,” He shrugs, stopping to stand in front of you.

Shit. Was he finally going to talk to you about what happened the other week?

“Why were you waiting for me?” Your eyes flit nervously around the room.

He lets out a soft chuckle, lowering himself to meet your eyes, “Did you think I forgot?”

“Forgot what?” You stammer, stepping back to allow for some distance between you two.

“That I know you were bothered by me and Soojin. That we almost kissed at the banquet.”

You realized with an alarming clarity that you were very much fucked, and there was no way you could back out of this conversation now. Your reactions were too obvious, your emotions too readable, and you let out a defeated sigh.

“It was the alcohol talking at the banquet. I wasn’t in my right mind,” You deflect, flinching slightly when he laughs at your weak attempt to dissmiss him.

“Okay, let’s say you were. You weren’t drunk when you saw me and Soojin though,” He mentions.

“So?” You try to keep a stoic demeanor but it’s quickly replaced by surprise when he steps closer.

“Why were you bothered by it, Y/N?” He prods, tilting his head as he notes the way your eyes fail to meet his.

“Wouldn’t you be bothered by two people practically making out in front of you?” You scoff weakly.

He hums thoughtfully, before shaking his head, “Not really. Not unless I liked the person.”

“T-that’s not true,” You try to argue, but you know it’s no use. He’s got you right where he wants you, and just the tiniest push would send you over the edge.

“Be honest with yourself, Y/N. It won’t help either of us if you keep lying like this,” He almost growls as he steps forward to trap you against the foot of the stage.

“Why do you care?” You furrow your brows at him.

“Because I like you, god damn it. I liked you in highschool and I like you now.”

A strange feeling churns in your stomach at his words and you almost laugh. The idea of Jaehyun liking you made you feel strange, insecurity and disbelief pricking at your heart as you open and close your mouth pathetically.

“N-no, you don’t,” You dismiss, looking away from him as if it would change the tension between you two right now.

“Yes, I do. I like that you’re not afraid to speak up against people you don’t like and I like that I can tell what mood you’re in just by looking at your face. I like that you’re always humming even though I tell you it’s annoying and I like that you don’t let me tell you what to do. I like that you’re bothered by the idea of me and Soojin together, because I like you,” Jaehyun lets out all in one breath and you try to search his features for anything that isn’t the complete sincerity that was written all over it.

“You don’t like me, Jaehyun,” Your voice is barely above a whisper as you shake your head.

“Don’t tell me how I feel. I like you, Y/N. Too damn much for you to try to convince me I don’t,” His voice softens as he lowers his head to try to meet your eyes, a frown forming on his lips when you turn your head to look away from him.

“B-but Soojin…you like Soojin,” You can feel your heartbeat in your throat as you try to dismiss his feelings for you, not wanting to face the reality of your own just yet.

“I don’t care about, Soojin. I never have. I don’t even look in her direction because I’m too busy looking at you.”

It becomes increasingly difficult to convince yourself that he didn’t actually like you. You feel sick, the butterflies that only seemed to erupt when he was around begin swirling violently in your stomach. Your heart beats wildly in your chest as you look up at him and your brain works in overdrive to justify the way he’s looking at you, like you were an oasis in the middle of a barren desert. The line between hatred and something that was definitely not that was completely gone, and this time you can’t blame the alcohol or the tension for the way your heart nearly bursts when he gently tilts your head to look at him.

“Jaehyun…” You call out weakly, not missing the way his eyes are almost begging you to believe him.

“I like you, dumbass. So much,” His voice is barely a whisper as he searches your face for any type of emotion.

You’re not drunk, you’re not vulnerable, and you definitely can’t ignore it anymore. The pounding of your heart in your chest is loud, urgent, and the butterflies that clutter your stomach demand your attention. The startling realization that Jaehyun was the only person who could evoke such a visceral physical reaction from you washes over you, and everything becomes clear to you as your eyes meet his.

You like Jaehyun, and you probably have for a long time.

“Oh shit,” You mutter to yourself, looking at him with a newfound sense of clarity.

“What is it?” Jaehyuns brows crease slightly at your words.

“I like you too,” You breathe out, the ghost of a smile on your lips as you look up at him with a glint of adoration in your eyes.

Jaehyun lets out a breath, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment as his body relaxes in relief.

“Thank fucking God.”

Without another thought, he tilts your head up and presses his lips against yours, his free hand securing itself on your waist as he tugs you closer. He holds you with the utmost conviction that you’d disappear from his very sight if he let go, his desperate hands holding you impossibly closer as your lips mold with his.

Your heart nearly bursts at the seams as you run your hands up his arms and past his shoulders, stopping to gently cup his face. You kiss him back with equal fervor, your body buzzing with what you could only describe as pure bliss. When your lungs begin to burn from the lack of oxygen, you both pull away, your chests heaving and cheeks tinted a bright pink as you both catch your breath.

“So you were pretending to hate me this whole time, huh?” Jaehyun pants, his hand sliding down to squeeze your hip.

You swat at his chest, your lips twitching into a small smile, “Shut up, before I take it back.”

His hands rest comfortably on your hips, as if they were meant to be there all this time, and he pulls you into his arms. “Nope, can’t take it back. You’re stuck with me.”

You laugh against his chest, wrapping your own arms around his torso as you rest your cheek against his chest. He sways you back and forth gently, a comfortable silence dawning on you two for a moment.

“So…now what?” You speak up, pulling away from the hug to look at him.

He considers you question for a moment as he looks at you, his adoration never fleeting as he tucks some hair behind your ear. “I’d really like if you were mine. How does that sound?”

You hum in mock thought, but the quckening of your heart and the unrelenting butterflies in your stomach know the answer to his question.

“I think I’d like it if you were mine too,” Your grin widens when you notice the way his eyes light up at your response.

“I was always yours, dumbass,” His dimples deepen as he lets out a laugh.

You hear what sounds like a wail coming from backstage, and you whip your head around in slight fear.

“Is someone back there? I can hear you,” You call out, your arms loosening around Jaehyun.

Donghyuck and Mark emerge from behind the curtains, sheepish grins on their faces as they wave at the both of you. You instinctively release your hold on Jaehyun, your face reddening as you realize that your best friends just witnessed everything.

“Are you guys stalkers or something? Why were you hiding back there?” You question as you cross your arms over your chest.

“I’m sorry, bub, but we couldn’t miss this. It was your boyfriends idea!” Donghyuck snitches, pointing an accusing finger at the boy next to you. You turn your head towards Jaehyun and raise an eyebrow at him.

“My fault?! I asked for your help, not for you to stalk us!” Jaehyun retorts.

“Same difference! What did you think we were going to do-” Hyuck defends himself, his words being cut short as Mark smacks him on the back of the head.

“If you were quieter, they wouldn’t have found out! You just had to start crying like a loser!” Mark points out.

“They were being so cute, I had to! I told you we could have played it off!” Hyuck sputters.

You shake your head as they both begin bickering in front of you, and you feel Jaehyun wrap a secure arm around your waist from behind you.

“Your boyfriend, hm? I could get used to that,” He speaks low enough so that only you could hear him.

You turn your head to look up at him and you’re tempted to deny the reality of the situation again, but the feeling of his thumb gently tracing shapes on your skin pushes any sense of insecurity you had out of the way. There was nothing to deny anymore, and you mentally confirm this when he gazes down at you, his eyes warm and reassuring.

“I could too.”

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

NOTES: she’s finished!!! thank you so much for reading if you’ve made it this far<33 i hope you guys love this one as much as i loved writing it :))) more work coming soon my pretties💞💞💞💞

[ncityprincess]

NCT 127 and their types as Pinterest pictures (Johnny)

Note: I’m not talking about specific looks (skin color, body types etc) when I’m talking about types. I’m just talking aesthetic wise 🤗

As the head fashion evaluator himself, he would have the range to appreciate a true Fashion Girlie™️. He’ll travel to every thrift store in the city with you for hours without a single complaint as long as there’s coffee involved.

[fruithoughts]

. . . when he needs a new wallpaper