#nct johnny fluff

[mejaemin]

my heart - johnny suh

day three of my valentine’s day countdown! ♡

wc: 1.1k

summary: yours and johnny’s valentine’s coffee date, where he proves to you time and time again how much he loves you, his heart ♡

warnings: hint of bsf2l, sm love, sm fluff. that’s it ♡⸜(˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)⸝♡

an: finally it’s done !!! i might rewrite, proofread, and edit this later, but here it is for now :> ik its probably really rushed so i promise i’ll edit it sometime soon, i just wanted to get it put for u all

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

you’re just finishing up getting ready, doing the last finishing touches to your look when you get a few text messages from your boyfriend, johnny.

john 🤍: hey beautiful, are you ready?

john 🤍: i’m outside ❤️

you: yess i’m coming now!! 🤍

setting your phone down, you grab your bag (adorned with all of the matching keychains and pins you’ve received from your boyfriend) and make your way to the front door. once it’s open, you nearly flinch when a conveniently placed gust of wind pushes a set of heart shaped balloons bump right into your face. jumping back, you finally take it in and realize there’s a gift bag with your name on it, paired with a bouquet of your favorite flowers and a bunch of balloons, corny valentine’s day quotes and hearts covering them. you look up, seeing johnny run back to his car, catching his breath and pretending he didn’t run up to put them there, which is what you assumed happened.

from the sidewalk he calls out, “happy valentine’s day! go bring that all in, i can wait!” he winks, gesturing to the inside of your apartment.

you giggle, reaching down to pick it all up before bringing it all in. laying it on your table, you grab a vase for your flowers and leave the rest. you turn around to meet johnny and find him right behind you, pulling you in and giving you a kiss in greeting.

“you should really close the door behind you,” he kisses you a few more times, and you can’t complain when the feeling is so addictive, “someone might come in and kidnap you, y’know.” he’s smiling down at you as he leads you out of your home, out to his car and into the passenger seat.

as he buckles your seatbelt in you ask him, “i doubt anyone here wants to kidnap me.”

he comes around to the driver’s seat, getting in and beginning the drive to your date location. “i can think of a guy. you’ve probably seen him around before, too. pretty tall, funny, did i mention he’s hot shit?”

you hum, nodding your head. “hmm, from your description it doesn’t sound like too bad of an experience.”

you two share a laugh, falling into the same easygoing dynamic you share every time you meet. even though it’s a special holiday, one full of love and romance, johnny always makes it so easy to get comfortable and talk the same way you did before you got together. sure, the flirting and the way his hand rests on your thigh while driving is a little of an adjustment, but he couldn’t make you uncomfortable even if he tried.

after a while the car falls silent, but it’s comfortable. the ride to your date location is a little longer than usual, having planned to go to a certain café holding a valentine’s day event. for couples who come and order drinks, they’ll get to share a free cake together. it’s a little silly to go just for free food, but what’s more exciting than that?

after a while time flies by, and you’re finally parking by the sidewalk of said café. after a small bit of bickering when it comes to how he knows which store is the right one, it all fell silent once you both realized it was quite obvious. out of all the stores on the sidewalk, only one had heart paintings and garland on the outside. with a hand in yours, you and johnny make your way inside. he lets you find a table while he orders your drinks, not even asking what you want because he knows you well enough to not have to.

you pick a seat in the corner, right next to a window covered in pink and red hearts. it leaves a pink glow on your skin, and as soon as your boyfriend sits across from you he takes a picture of it. pocketing his phone, a hand reaches out for yours across the table, his other housing his cheek. for the time that you’re waiting for whatever he ordered, johnny reaches into his pocket.

“don’t get mad, don’t freak out, but i got one more gift.” he smiles at your skeptical expression, finally revealing the item closed in his palm, fingers pulling away to reveal a small white box.

he slides it towards you, gesturing for you to open it. slowly, unsurely, you pull the lid off, revealing a ring with your favorite jewel, paired with a chain and ‘j’ charm. your face lights up, and when you look up at him he looks shy, but happy as ever at your reaction.

“i didn’t know if you’d want it as a necklace or what, so i bought a chain too. oh, and there’s a j for me obviously, so you can keep me by your heart.” to laugh off the last of his nerves, he theatrically winks at you, eliciting a giggle from you both.

you take the ring and the charm out, before putting them on the chain and holding it out to him. “put it on for me?”

he gets up, taking the necklace from you and stepping behind you. fingers brushing your nape, he moves your hair from the back of your neck and clasps the chain together. he sits back down, and you readjust your hair before pulling out your phone to take photos of it on. one selfie, and one close up of the chain resting on your collarbone.

almost as soon as you put your phone down an employee comes to your table, taking two mugs off of their tray to place them in front of you both, along with a miniature cake covered in buttercream hearts. you thank them, taking a photo of the designs in the cups. one is a heart, and the other looks almost like a plant. once done, you’re about to reach for the plant one since it’s closest to you, but your boyfriend stops you, taking it and sliding the heart one to you.

“a heart for my heart.” he winks again, and you playfully roll your eyes before sipping on your latte. it’s flavored just how you like it, and you sigh in comfort.

“you’re so corny, i can’t believe i’m actually with you.” you tease, playfully giving him a judging look.

“i know why.” you hum, tilting your head, as he reaches for your hand. “because you love me more than you hate me.”

“hmm, i guess so…” you say, rolling your eyes.

he laughs, reaching out for the ring on your necklace to twirl it between his fingers. “you know so. and, you’ll love me forever, right? i know i will. this ring is proof.” the jewel shines in the sunlight through the window, highlighting the metal that’s in your favorite type, and the jewel being your favorite. without even having to ask, he knew just how you wanted it and bought it as a promise to love you and keep it in his heart forever.

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[multifandomslxt]

I’m just here to love your Johnny profile pic 🥹 I’m so unequivocally in love with this man bruh 😭

Okay actually 🥹 can I ask for like the fluffiest fluff you could even imagine with Johnny? Like pet names, giggles, cute moments, fluff to point of no return type of shit? I wanna fall in love with it and then cry cause I’m so single 🧍🏾‍♀️💀

Johnny Suh

was and still is the first guy to make your heart flutter with the most crony and cheesy shit.

"I want to spoil you" and he does. so well.

the time he surprised you with your favorite snacks and movie because his " baby was stressed"

or the time he got you matching necklaces because he wants to feel you even when you guys aren't together.

to him, you're his everything.

"Baby, you know I love you right? "

he reassures and comforts you without you having to ask for it.

he will give you everything even if it means it burns him out

"Johnny, you're overworked. you need to rest " You tell him this whenever his eyes become tired and his movement a little sluggish

"I want to give you the best and it means I gotta work hard baby you know that"

He feels so strongly about you its not even a joke. Never saw himself as the clingy type but gosh if he could merge with you he would.

he keeps this a secret from you but whenever you're not going to be together for a while he buys the perfume you use and sprays it on his hotel pillow before he sleeps at night.

He cries whenever you accomplish things you've worked hard for.

what can he say? he's really proud of you

and proud to be with you

with his whole being he fucking loves you.

[blondiedae]

dry house, wet clothes

𓍯𓂃𓂃𓂃 dry house, wet clothes

pairing. johnny suh x afab!reader x jeong jaehyun genre. angst, fluff, eventual smut, slow burn (for jaehyun), friends to lovers (for johnny) warnings. swearing, mentions of drinking, kissing, smut tags will be added when it applies. big miscommunication trope, it is what it is. it’s so much angst i’m so sorry word count. 9,721

plot. the four of you have spent years building the world around you, your friendship, your weekends together hidden in jaehyun’s loft. you, mark, johnny and jaehyun. shaking the foundation of that by being in love with your best friend, jaehyun, is a risk you’ve never been confident enough to take. but, johnny suh is confident and johnny suh has been known to shake the world around you.

other’s mentioned. slight himbo mark lee <3, various other nct members (eventually)

author’s note. it’s taken me two years to write this. this is only part one/chapter one, so hold tight for updates! hopefully i’ll be able to post every monday, but we’ll see! enjoy part one :)

taglist (open). @xiaojunsdino

playlist. here !

You woke up to the sound of rain on the roof from above and, from the corner of the room, soft music coming out like a whisper from a forgotten speaker. You were tangled in him and him and him. One arm looped in his, your head resting on his shoulder, his head on your stomach; three sets of staggered snores mingling, mixing with the tap tap tap of raindrops, the guitars and synths and drums of the music to create a familiar symphony.

A fall morning in the loft.

The glass panes of the roof, the ones installed three summers before, swept the raindrops away and down off the side of the house. They found the glass of the windows there, slipping, slipping, slipping to continue their descent to the gutter, then the ground. You watched, idle hands in his hair, tangled in a mess of loose curls.

The music hiccuped, a new song began. You blinked, eyes still too bleary, mind still in a state close to sleep, close to numb. He didn’t move, neither did he or he. Save for the rain and your fingertips, everything remained still. It was your most cherished time; not silence, but comfortable and quiet chaos amongst them.

The world wouldn’t move if you didn’t, you’d convinced yourself, if they didn’t.

So, you would stay still until his shoulder shifted beneath your heavy head. Until he’d grumbled something, in a voice laced with sleep and worn from the night before, about the weight. He didn’t actually mind, and he would never tell you, but he found nights when your head didn’t keep his shoulder in place to be restless.

You wouldn’t budge until he flexed his hand, let the stretch of his fingers move up to his forearm, his bicep, his shoulder to pull away from you. He always worried he got too close, always worried he’d taken up too much of your space. Any space you sacrificed was worth seeing his sleepy smile when he said, “Good morning.”

You would hold your breath, control it and calm it and monitor every yawn, until he lifted his head without opening his eyes and smiled, broad and brilliant. Only then would you stretch your aching bones and wake yourself fully.

This stage, this limbo in the rain and the early morning light that tried to break through it, was too precious to surrender.

You counted the seconds between snores, hummed lightly to the music and recounted the evening before; the bottles, the unbridled laughter, more bottles and the stars. Always the stars, always above you, always shining.

The memories of the night mixed and warped with your dreams, in your willfully sleepy state it was too hard to discern between the two. Counting stars: memory. Running, running, running: dream. His fingertips tracing constellations into the skin of your arm: memory. No, dream.

You looked at him, soft and snoring in a pile of blankets, pillows and limbs intertwining. He moved first, one by one his fingers let go of yours and stretched as wide as possible. He rolled his wrist and pulled his fingers back into a fist, letting them crack. As soon as he had let go, his fingers slipped back between yours and held tight, as they had all night. He unraveled every part of his body still holding onto you, a sigh leaving his lips when he was done.

You didn’t know if he knew you were looking, awake and waiting, but he took his time.

You let him.

When he opened his eyes, the very last step in his stirring, he saw you. Your faces had inched closer together in the night, and after you’d both turned your heads there was little space left. He didn’t flinch even the slightest, only blinked and mumbled, “Am I crowding you?��

You squeezed his hand, “You’re not.”

Jaehyun smiled, scooting back a bit anyway but not letting go; never letting go, “Good morning.”

You didn’t say it back, you didn’t have the chance to. He wiggled his shoulder underneath your head while his feet pushed the blankets covering him from his body. Johnny groaned through a yawn, “I can’t feel my arm.”

“Good.” You laughed.

“Good.” He mocked, lifting up your head and rolling out from under you. He sat up, arms stretched out wide, up and up and up towards the slipping raindrops and back down. Rolling his head back once, twice, he looked at you, “Good morning.”

“Good morning, everyone.” He lifted his head, a lazy grin warming the determined gloom of the morning. He rested his chin on your stomach, patting his fingers lazily on the sliver of exposed skin there, “How’d you sleep?”

You grinned back, ruffling his hair. He was the youngest of the four of you and it showed, especially in the morning when his face was swollen and round, “Just fine. How about you, Mark?”

Mark’s answer came out more like a grunt as he rolled over away from you and stretched, “I could have used a pillow. Johnny took all of them.”

“I had two of them.” Johnny disagreed, “Jaehyun had one under his feet.”

“Because I was half on the mattress and half on the floor.” Jaehyun laughed. His thumb rubbed circles on the back of your hand, the other arm flopped over his eyes like the conversation had already worn him out enough to sleep again, “What time is it?.”

“I don’t know where my phone is.” You grumbled, writhing and wriggling your bones awake, now that Mark wasn’t resting on you. You squeezed Jaehyun’s hand before letting go, pushing yourself to sit up.

Jaehyun lifted his arm, only briefly, to look at you. His hand suddenly felt cold, felt empty, felt like the morning that greeted the four of you. He covered his eyes once more, flexing his fingers again before putting his newly free hand over his heart.

“Your stomach grumbles a lot when you sleep. Did you know that?” Mark poked at your stomach, a sleepy but content grin on his face. You smacked his hand away, he yawned, “Does mine do that?”

His yawn was contagious, but you answered through your own, “I don’t know, Mark. We’ll switch spots next time and I’ll find out.”

“Absolutely not.” Johnny chided, “Mark’s head is bigger than yours.”

“Then we’ll rotate.”

“Why would we rotate?”

You tilted your head, “Why wouldn’t we rotate?”

“I don’t want his drool on me.”

Mark grumbled, slipping on his sweatshirt, “I don’t drool.”

“He doesn’t drool.”

Johnny said, “Of course he drools.”

Mark nudged you, “I don’t drool, do I?”

“Not on me.” You assured him.

Jaehyun sighed, loudly and exaggerated and cutting off your temporary tiff with Johnny, “I still don’t know what time it is, but I know it’s too early for this.”

Johnny stood up first, picking up his phone and the speaker. He didn’t make any changes to the music - soft, melancholy but in a way that felt comfortable- he only brought the speaker closer, to the edge of the large mattress in the middle of the floor, “It’s nine o’clock.”

“I have to get home.” Mark yawned.

Johnny pocketed his phone, “Me too. Are we doing something later?”

He waited for an answer that was inevitable. A nod from Jaehyun, a noncommittal shrug from Mark, a thumbs up from you. All three came in a ripple, which was enough for Johnny to stand up again and gather his things. Mark followed, the two of them scuffling around the mess, the mattress, each other. Jaehyun scooted until he was fully on the mattress and you wondered, as you always did, why he always sacrificed his comfort in his own home.

“Mark, text me when you get home.” You raised your hand to cup around your mouth, calling out over the thundering rain booming through the open door. Mark was halfway out the door, but he nodded. Johnny waited and waited and expectantly waited, “You too, John.”

Then they were gone; backpack and a jacket over their heads, boisterous and bouncing down the stairs of the loft, scampering down the street. Not slipping like the raindrops, but stomping through the puddles. You watched them as long as you could, as long as they were in your line of sight from the mattress, not ready to move yet. It took a moment, but a layer of fog took over the window and their usually towering bodies turned into specks. You looked away, then. Looked at Jaehyun, looked at the mess. You flopped back down on the mattress, a quiet huff of air slipping past your lips.

The rain came down; it didn’t break, it didn’t offer the morning a chance to breathe.

You could feel Jaehyun next to you, his shoulder just barely touching yours. The silence that didn’t dare interrupt your symphony finally crept in, the rain persisted, but the music and the snoring were long gone. Still, neither one of you moved. It was you and it was Jaehyun and it was your mixed breathing and the rain.

“Jae.”

“Hm.” He hummed, arm lifting once more to peek at you. The way your eyes were shut, the way your face twisted in loops and loops of thought - only some of which you’d ever say out loud. He watched you, he watched the rain on the window behind you, he watched the breath you took in and then he urged, “What is it?”

Your head turned, eyes opening to meet him how you had when he woke up, “Hand.”

Neither one of you had to reach far, neither one of you hesitated. Jaehyun waited, patiently, for whatever you had to say, whatever willed your lips to move and say his name. You watched him, thoughtful and quiet, trying to remember if the touch you felt was based on reality or a dream. You begged your own mind to remember if the slight burning on your arm, the comfortable fire beneath your skin, was from Jaehyun tracing Orion, Draco, Andromeda, Cygnus as you fell asleep.

After a while, you shook your head and looked skyward - back to the rain, “You’re my best friend.”

He nodded, repeated your actions and words, “You’re my best friend.”

“Do you ever feel nostalgic for the times that it was just the two of us up here?” You laughed, squeezing his hand. He’d take it as a joke and you meant it as a joke. Even having known a life before, you could not and did not want to imagine one without Johnny and Mark. So much of who the four of you were was rooted in each other, your coexistence. Still, you sighed, “Do you ever miss it?”

Jaehyun took a moment. He replied, “It’s just the two of us right now. There’s always time for that, always will be. So, no. But, the mattress did seem bigger, then.”

You laughed. He loved the sound, so he laughed too.

Like the sun was waiting for that cue, that sound to latch on to and pull itself through the clouds, it shone. Bright, much brighter than the stars, and filling the room for as long as the break in clouds would allow. A brief intermission of light.

You both watched the beams of sunlight; how they kissed the walls, the floorboards. You both thought about those times, the memories that seemed like a lifetime ago; the loft in its infancy, the loft on your tenth birthday and his eleventh and your twelfth. Jaehyun’s dad putting up a tent in the middle of the room on nights when weather conditions were poor and you both were so determined; persistent like the rain. You thought of reading, strewn across the mattress stealing glances at Jaehyun while he played a melody on the keyboard in the corner. He thought of the same melody, any melody, every melody; how you’d hum along to the ones you knew, ask him about the ones you didn’t, move to the music either way.

You both thought. It was easier to just think, to remember. You were too tired, still, to move and make new memories. A quiet moment was just as nice, between the two of you.

“I think I’m still tired.” You told him.

He said, “You were stirring a lot.”

“I’m sorry, Jae.”

“You don’t need to be.” He reached over his head, to the spot where Johnny’s head had been resting on two pillows and grabbed for them both. Jaehyun put one under his head, offering the other to you, “Go back to sleep for a while. We’ve got time.”

So, you did. Your fingers wrapped around the pillow, but you dropped it behind you - a safety net if you rolled away - and scooted closer to Jaehyun. He breathed out a laugh, looping his arm around you and holding onto your waist. One of your hands wrapped around his waist, fingers stroking his side lazily and the other held your own heart, willing it to beat softer, slower, inconspicuously. With his free hand, he pulled a blanket over the two of you. Jaehyun didn’t lift his hand, only started tracing patterns into your skin; Orion, Draco, Andromeda, Cygnus. Constellations: memory.

“The stars aren’t out.” You mumbled, already drifting.

Jaehyun pressed a kiss to your forehead, “Sleep.”

He held his lips there, unmoving but gently resting. You could feel every small twitch, every breath. The tips of his fingers brushed your skin again, lazy strokes that ignited a calm, comfortable fire just below. Your body shuddered and you hoped Jaehyun didn’t notice. He wouldn’t say it, if he did. The hand on your heart clenched, tensed, grasped for a gentler beat. It didn’t come, it wouldn’t let up.

You fell asleep hearing two hearts beating, loudly, against the chests that held them; yours and Jaehyun’s.

📻

When you woke up for the second time, two things were missing: the rain and Jaehyun.

The sun wasn’t as gentle as the rain had been, waking you up; it was almost violent the way it pried at your eyes, relentless warmth and brightness filling the now silent room. You rustled the blankets Jaehyun had piled on you, pulling yourself up to sit, desperate for any sound. The mess from the night had been tidied, swept away. You swept away the rest of the sleep from your eyes and let out a breath.

You could still feel his kiss on your forehead. It was something so common, so standard for Jaehyun to kiss that exact spot, or your temple, or the top of your head. You’d do the same to him; his cheeks, his nose, pulling him down or standing on your toes to reach the rest. Today, it was another spot on your flesh that burned and burned and burned.

You stood, picking your phone up from the ground just to the right of the mattress. Every inch of your body resisted movement, it fought against you as you stretched upwards, outwards.

The door to the loft opened, “I brought you coffee.”

You looked at him, over your shoulder with a smile he might always adore. Meeting him halfway, you took your drink from him and mumbled, “Thank you.”

“They want to go to a movie later.” Jaehyun told you, “Johnny said something scary.”

Nodding, you took a sip, “How does Mark feel about that?”

Jaehyun only pulled a face; a wince.

You snorted, “What time?”

Jaehyun shrugged, you nodded a second time. Silence filled the room again; a moment to breathe, to let the breeze from the open door cool your forehead, your arms, your mind. You wanted to stand in silence in the autumn air, eyes closed, arms out, just breathing.

You wanted to ask Jaehyun if he felt it too. You’d never had a reason to hide something from him, you’d never been anything but honest with each other. You looked up at him, he looked anywhere but directly at you; sipping, sipping, sipping and breathing. Even if you had the courage, how could you ask him so outright?

You’re my best friend. You always reminded him and he wasn’t the one who needed reminding. You’re my best friend and every time you touch me, I fall apart.

You’re my best friend and every time you look at me all I can think about is your lips, your hands, your - Breathe. You had to breathe. Do you feel it, too?

Gathering your things, sipping your coffee, you said nothing. Jaehyun said nothing, but stood and watched. He stayed silent and you stayed silent. Then you were heading towards the door.

You decided to read him, you’d always been good at that and words were lost, so lost. So, you mumbled a quick goodbye, something about errands, something about seeing him later. With your hand on the doorknob, ready to swing it closed, you turned.

“Jae?” He looked up, smiling - he always smiled like that, “Hand.”

There were only a few steps between you, he overtook that space easily, quickly. Jaehyun laced his fingers with yours, squeezing your hand in his and watching you. Stepping towards him, you swallowed - it had to sound like a gulp, deep and panicked and caught in your throat. You didn’t look up at him, just at your hands, until you raised your head and kissed him. Just the corner of his lips, where they were upturned still, in a smile. A comfortable place between cheek and lips that would surely throw him, if he felt anything like you did.

A peck, a second of contact, felt like an eternity.

You pulled back, watching and waiting for him to do anything, to say anything, to falter and show that he felt anything.

Jaehyun squeezed your hand again: same grin, same grin, same simple, unfaltering grin. He let go and said, “Get home safe. I’ll see you later.”

You nodded, composure surprising you, mind racing. Still, you smiled, mirroring him and letting go of his hand to ruffle his hair, “I’ll see you later, Jae.”

Then you left.

You left, so you didn’t feel how his hands, his body, his heart tensed, then released, shaking. You left so you didn’t see how his face, ears and chest turned red, how he managed to keep it at bay until you’d closed the door. You left, so you didn’t see Jaehyun run his fingers through his hair, pacing and pacing and pacing around the loft, breathing in huffs because he was feeling something that he thought he shouldn’t. You left, so you didn’t hear him curse and groan and yell into his fist until he was hoarse. You left, so you missed all the signs you needed, his hand gently on the corner of his lips, because he was burning.

He willed himself to blame the coffee for the warmth he felt in his hands, in his chest, from his head to his toes. He didn’t want to think about how it was you that caused it. Jaehyun wouldn’t think or say that you were the source of every last bit of warmth he felt, since he met you. He would just sit, for the hours that stretched on and on until he saw you again, and think about how you’d say, “You’re my best friend.”

📻

When you stepped out of your house, next, the sun was setting. Most days, you’d considered the loss of daylight a curse, hating how early the sun went away in the colder months. Today, the sunset was stunning enough to make you forget. Streaks of vibrant orange chased at the softened blue of the day, hurrying it away and tucking the sun in for the night. For a moment, you stood on your doorstep in complete awe.

The vibrant sunset almost felt like an apology for the gloomy morning.

“There you are.” Your heart and stomach switched places for a second, his voice pulling you out of your trance, “Can I walk you?”

Johnny was at your gate, hands in his pockets. He smiled at you, as he always did, like he was moments away from teasing you. You let out a rush of air you’d gasped in and trapped in your lungs, “That was fucking horrifying, Johnny.”

He countered, “Pay more attention.”

“You were hidden.”

“No, I wasn’t.”

“Did you walk all the way here? From your house?”

“I took a bus.”

“You could’ve texted me.”

“It’s less romantic that way.”

Your eyebrow raised, “You’re trying to be romantic?”

“Not if you keep looking at me like that.” Something like shock, something like confusion. Definitely not the look he wanted to see on someone’s face when he was flirting. Johnny adjusted the beanie on his head, “You want to know something?”

You laughed, “Are you going to tell me even if I say no?”

He took a moment, looking at you but not speaking. So, you took a moment and did the same. It didn’t take long, in the suspended silence, for you to see Johnny was being serious. You’d blame not noticing sooner on the initial jump scare of his presence. Johnny shook his head, laughing and sighing; exaggerated and maybe uncomfortable.

“I think….” He looked up from his feet. He’d only glanced at them for a second, but he wanted to look at you when he said, “I think I like you.”

You didn’t know how to respond. Silence felt entirely wrong, but words were lost. After a while, you asked, “You think?”

Johnny shook his head, the simple action shook away any lingering nerves. He’d made it over the biggest hurdle; telling you. Johnny started to walk down the road, waiting for you to follow and calling over his shoulder, “No, I know I do.”

“You know you like me?” You’d scrambled to fall into stride with him, “Since when?”

He breathed, looking up at the sky, “A while. At least six months.”

“Why tell me now?”

“Two reasons.” Johnny held up two fingers, like you needed a visual representation. The reality was you needed him to slow down; his steps, his confession. Either would do, “The first being that I want you to sit by me at the movie. Second…I don’t know. It just felt right.”

He suddenly came to a halt, your reaction time was delayed, but you followed him and stood still. Johnny grabbed your shoulders and turned you, gently, to look at him. He waited and then leaned down, face inches away and his eyes set on yours. You blinked, but didn’t move. It didn’t feel entirely strange to be this close to him, but it felt sudden. Johnny let out a quiet ‘hm’ and set his lips into a certain frown.

You asked him, “What?”

He told you, “You’re reacting exactly how I thought you would and I thought if you reacted like that, I might…change my mind about it.”

“Johnny.” He said it so simply you almost missed that it was borderline rude. Shoving at his shoulder, you clicked your tongue, “How else am I supposed to react?”

“Not a clue.” He started walking, again. This push and pull, walk and stop was getting tiring. You hadn’t moved yet and he called over his shoulder, “Walk. We’re going to be late.”

“Six months?”

“About that, yeah.”

“You thought you were going to change your mind about it?”

He shrugged, “I could have. I didn’t really try, though. Didn’t want to.”

“So…” Finally, you had fallen back into step with him, the sun was tucked away for the night and the streets you wove through were lit up by towering lamps, porch lights and dimmed beams through open windows, “What do you want from this?”

Johnny looked at you, smiling, “Just sit by me at the movie. We’ll see how that goes.”

You couldn’t stop yourself from asking, clearing your throat, “Do…do Mark and Jaehyun know?”

“Yeah.” Johnny nodded, stepping over a lingering puddle that you plowed through, “Jaehyun told me not to tell you, Mark said I should.”

You almost choked, eyes wide and mouth suddenly dry. If Johnny looked at you, for the split second it took you to wipe your initial reaction off your face, you would have given yourself away. You rearranged your features into an expression you hoped conveyed shock mixed with anger. Maybe you were a bit angry, “Why did Jaehyun say that?”

Your taller friend let out a long sigh, turning a corner and fixing his gaze upward. Once more, his shoulders lifted in a shrug. Johnny did that a lot, but not once had you seen him move, speak or react with any genuine uncertainty. Even when he was shrugging he was confident and sure. It was hard not to think of the morning, when he said that. It was hard not to think of the corner-of-the-lips kiss, the unchanging expression, how you’d never felt like telling Jaehyun was just right.

Johnny being so assured was almost insulting, but also admirable.

“He said something about ruining the dynamic. He could be right.”

You didn’t say anything, again, your mind trapping you in a cycle. You wanted, so much, to be able to respond in a sensible, constructed way. You turned another corner, face twisted in thought with Johnny humming and paying no mind by your side. The theatre was up ahead, Jaehyun and Mark waiting for the two of you outside. Jaehyun and Mark not expecting the two of you to come together. Jaehyun and Mark facing opposite directions for that very reason; logically Johnny would’ve come from the opposite direction where Mark was stationed.

Jaehyun saw you first, swallowing hard.

He nudged Mark, “They’re over here.”

Mark asked, turning on his heel, “They?”

Jaehyun only nodded his head towards the two of you, mixing in and out of the crowd on the street, expression unreadable from such a distance. Johnny, however, could read it just fine, right next to you. He laughed, his head tilting down to get your attention, “Don’t think too hard about it.”

You looked at Johnny and said, “Okay.”

“Okay what?” He laughed.

Your feet came to a stop in the middle of the road. Johnny followed, waiting more patiently than you knew him to be. His expression had completely changed from the last time you saw him. This morning, Johnny had been waiting, mocking, like he expected you to say something. Now, Johnny was waiting, serious but calm and comfortable, like he wanted you to say what you needed to.

“I’ll sit next to you during the movie.”

“Good.” He offered you his hand, “Come on, let’s go.”

You took it, the feeling worlds away from Jaehyun’s. Holding Johnny’s hand, however, wasn’t uncomfortable, it wasn’t unpleasant. It was also definitely not on fire. He pulled you through the crowd, looking over heads until he saw Jaehyun and Mark. Johnny was leading you to them and only chuckled a bit when you dropped his hand, greeting your other friends.

“You guys came together?” Mark said, closer to a confirmation than a question.

Johnny made a face, his mocking face that almost seemed like a default for him, “She didn’t want to walk alone.”

“You could’ve called me.” Jaehyun spoke up, never looking away from you. He cleared his throat and quickly justified, “I live closer than Johnny.”

You looked at Jaehyun; how his fists clenched then released, how it was a perfectly reasonable justification, how he kept his face unreadable. For the first time, it felt like he was keeping something from you. You blinked but you laughed it off and shoved at Johnny like the twenty minute walk had been normal, like everything was normal.

“I didn’t call him. He just showed up on my doorstep.”

Mark laughed with you, “Yeah, that seems more accurate”

And then the topic dropped, Mark pulled you into the theatre and Jaehyun and Johnny followed behind. At one point, while buying snacks, you thought you heard Mark say to Jaehyun, “I think he told her.” But there was too much noise in the lobby and in your own head to hear Jaehyun’s response.

During the movie, you sat in between Mark and Johnny, with Jaehyun on Johnny's other side.

For the whole movie, you kept your hands in your lap, sometimes over your eyes, until a jump scare caught you off guard and you grabbed Johnny's hand. You tried to ignore the triumphant smile on his face, you tried to ignore the sound of your heart pounding because the hand you wanted to grab was one seat away. But, Jaehyun had his eyes forward whenever you took the risk of glancing at him and Johnny and Jaehyun, back to Johnny. Doing so for almost the entire movie had given you a headache.

Jaehyun was tense next to Johnny. Every time you looked at him, he held his breath and tried to look calm, normal, anything. He was blocking out the suggestion from Mark that Johnny had told you, but the movie wasn’t nearly good enough to distract him. Instead, he spent the majority of it watching you from his peripheral. Taking a sip of his drink and swallowing hard when he saw you grab Johnny’s hand. If Mark had been right, if Johnny had told you….he didn’t want to think about it. Jaehyun couldn’t let himself think about it.

It, of course, was all he could think about.

So, two sets of eyes bounced back and forth, just missing each other and searching for the same thing, until the movie ended and Mark said, “That wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.”

Johnny walked you home. Jaehyun took a nonsensical route to avoid following the two of you, kicking rocks and cans and causing a ruckus in the otherwise quiet alleyways. Johnny joked and you laughed and he took your hand and you let him. When you were coming up to your house, you kept your eyes forward trying to twist and wind your vision down the streets to see if Jaehyun had made it home. At your doorstep, Johnny pulled you to a stop and grinned.

“What are you thinking?” He asked.

“I’m cold.”

Johnny slipped off his jacket and draped it over your shoulders. Underneath your layers you missed your heart doing the smallest of flutters, the simplest of flips, skipping the shortest beat. It went completely unnoticed. He squared his feet once more and asked, again, “Okay. Now how do you feel?”

It was funny enough, so you laughed enough, “About what?”

“Us.”

Us. Your mind circled around the word, every thought related to it swirling like a tornado. You scrunch your face a bit, looking sideways and down at the ground. Us was a simple enough word but, given the context, a dizzying concept. Us in relation to Johnny, up until three and a half hours ago, just meant friends. Friends who relentlessly tease and bully each other. Friends who flop down in a dog pile on a mattress together more frequently than they sleep in their own beds. Friends who get drunk and run screaming through the streets in the middle of the night. Friends who egg each other on until one breaks and the other one follows and they both do something reckless.

Us, in the way Johnny meant it, felt reckless.

You shrugged, letting out a sigh, “What does that even mean?”

Johnny laughed, eyes wrinkling at the corners, “Okay, fine. How do you feel about me?”

“About you?”

“Yes.”

“How do I feel about Johnny Suh?”

“That’s me.” He rocked on his heels, the action shockingly endearing. You’d seen this flip switch in him before; the one that amped up his charm. Being on the receiving end of it, however, was giving you whiplash. Johnny tacked on, “Or, more specifically, what I told you?””

You looked up at Johnny, who put absolutely no pressure on you to answer but still waited, in case you did. You asked him, quietly, “Can I sleep on it?”

He nodded. You knew if he didn’t have a beanie on his hair would have flopped into his eyes. You knew, given the energy and the circumstances, you might think it was adorable. So, when Johnny asked if he could kiss you, you said yes. And he did. It was soft, the way he cupped your face with one hand and pulled you nearer with the other. It was sweet, the way he bent his knees a bit to be more level. It was warm, when his lips met yours and moved, but only slightly. It was comfortable, when he pulled away and gave you that grin he was known for.

When Johnny breathed and stepped back, only a bit, he suggested, “If you think about it too long, I really might change my mind.”

You’d made a habit of shoving him tonight. It didn’t seem like this moment should be an exception, “Oh my God. Go home.”

Johnny stumbled back and laughed, hand on his chest. He watched you turn and open your gate, ignoring him when he urged, “And?”

You only turned to answer him when you were at your door, “And let me know when you get there.”

“Will do.” Johnny saluted, turning on his heel and wandering away, “Goodnight. Great kiss.”

You rolled your eyes and stepped inside. For a moment, you stood in the entryway quietly, pulling off your shoes and stepping into your slippers. You took out your phone, unlocking it and staring blankly at the screen. It was normal, it was instinct for you to text him. It was normal, it was instinct to make sure he’d made it back home. Your fingers still hesitated, hovering over his name; Jaehyun.

You typed, 10:12pm Did you make it back home?

It was only a minute before he replied, 10:13pm I did. Did you?

You told him, 10:13pm Yeah.

You wanted to type more. You wanted to call him. For the first time, you felt like you were hiding something as well. The evening had exhausted you with first time feelings. You gnawed on your lip, typing and deleting and hoping Jaehyun wasn’t watching his phone like you’d been. Hoping he wouldn’t see your un-Johnnylike indecision.

Finally, you asked him, 10:15pm How did you feel about the movie?

10:17pm I think we need to stop letting Johnny pick. He replied.

You laughed, letting out the breath you’d been holding. Wandering into the kitchen and without thinking, you tapped to call him. When he picked up, at the sound of his rustling sheets, you said, “It wasn’t that bad.”

“Not this time.” Jaehyun laughed. The sound of your voice put him at ease. He worked to convince himself you weren’t defending Johnny’s poor movie choices because Johnny had confessed and you’d accepted. But, it was the most prominent voice in his head until you spoke and drowned it out. Jaehyun continued, “But, Johnny also made us go see Boss Baby and I don’t know how you and Mark look past that.”

You laughed. God he really loved that sound. Your hands busied themselves with whatever was within reach in the kitchen; toying with the knives in the knife block, pulling open the fridge and shutting it, sitting through your junk drawer. Any sound to drown out how unsteady your breathing was. You had to tell him, you knew you did. But, maybe he was right and maybe Johnny was right. Maybe it would ruin the dynamic.

It slipped out, “Johnny told me he likes me, Jae.”

He wasn’t breathing anymore. Jaehyun wasn’t moving or breathing or reacting. He was laying in his bed wishing he could go back and stop you from telling him that. Jaehyun was sweating in the worst way, heart beating erratically against his chest. He’d never felt panic like this, not that he could remember. But, Jaehyun was having trouble remembering much of anything other than the last sentence you’d said. Because Johnny had confessed to you, and you….you….

“What did you say?” He asked, correcting himself once again with, “I mean to Johnny. What did you say to him?”

“That I needed to think about it.” It was true. That I needed to think about it because of you would have been more accurate, but simplicity might have been best. It was certainly easier.

“What do you think about it?” Jaehyun didn’t really want to know the answer. But, it seemed like the appropriate response. If you were telling him, maybe you were trying to work it out. Maybe, despite how it twisted his stomach into knots, you needed his help with Johnny. He asked another question hoping you’d forget the first one, “Is that why you sat by him during the movie?”

“Mm.” You didn’t know how else to respond. Your hands had stopped fidgeting, hanging limp at your sides and shaking. “I don’t know how I feel.”

You told Jaehyun because you made a promise to not hide things. You told Jaehyun because you were hoping for something even if you didn’t know exactly what. You told Jaehyun because it was easier than saying “I wish it had been you to confess. Or me.”

He made a noise of agreement on the other end of the phone call. Jaehyun really couldn’t bring himself to do much else. The only thing he wanted to say was how much he wished he had the confidence, the reckless and unbridled tenacity that Johnny did. Jaehyun wanted to say that it should’ve been him on your doorstep, walking you to the movie. Holding your hand, as he always did, but with an entirely new meaning; better, so much better.

Jaehyun reminded himself to breathe. He thought for a moment and then let out a laugh that he didn’t really mean to release. You not knowing could still be a silver lining and one he was willing to hold onto, no matter how desperate it was, “It’s okay to not know.”

You laughed too, uncomfortable and mostly to hide any detectable unsteadiness, “It just like…it came out of nowhere, right? He told me he told you and Mark. I just…I don’t know what to do about it.”

Then, Jaehyun said something he regretted immediately. In an attempt to be a supportive friend, with the hopes that you’d ultimately land on the only logical solution; that you and Johnny were wrong for each other and you and Jaehyun were right. Jaehyun told you, quietly and trying to sound encouraging, “Just go with what you feel. Do what feels right.”

“Oh.” You said. Your voice fell into a whisper. “Oh. Okay, right. That makes sense.”

Do what feels right. Johnny knew what felt right to him, Johnny was sure that you felt right and telling you was right. He made it look so easy.

Jaehyun continued his mission to say regretful things, “We’ll support you.”

“Right.” You needed him to stop talking. You needed his indifference and encouragement to stop or transform into something like longing, desperation. You’d take either one over whatever he was giving you, “I think…I’m going to go to bed. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Of course.” His voice was quiet now, too. He knew, almost instantly, how much he’d messed up, “Sleep well.”

“You too.”

And then you hung up. You carried yourself up to your bed and draped your body across it, looking up at the ceiling and wishing you could see the stars. Jaehyun rolled over onto his stomach, burying his face in the pillows and wishing he could see your face. You swallowed every feeling and every thought, memorizing how each one tasted as it went down and wincing at the ones that came back up.

Johnny knew it was right. And maybe the fact that you hadn’t ever felt like it was right with Jaehyun was a bigger sign than you were willing to admit. Maybe you’d been chasing something foolish and fueled by your own imagination. You wanted to scream and cry and, most importantly, you wanted to know what right felt like.

It felt right to be near to Jaehyun, as near as possible. It felt right to hold his hand, to hug him, to fall asleep with each other and to put your lips to his cheek, his forehead, his nose. But, it never felt right to tell him exactly how right, how wonderful, how perfect it all felt.

Johnny knew it was right.

Hours later, after mulling over every thought, taking every possible route you could think of, you settled and started to drift off. It wouldn’t be terrible, being with Johnny. In some aspects, it might be better than being just his friend. You felt guilt, like it might be unfair to force yourself into this; unfair to you and to Johnny. To the entire group and the foundation you’d all spent years building. It might also be unfair to not try at all. There was only one clear reason why you shouldn’t, wouldn’t, almost couldn’t date Johnny and it began and ended with Jeong Jaehyun.

You weighed that thought against all the reasons it might be just fine, great even, being with Johnny.

Drifting off, your final thoughts convinced you; if Johnny knew it was right with you, and you never knew when or if it would be right with Jaehyun, maybe you’d know what’s right with Johnny.

📻

He was outside your house again, hands in his pockets but without his beanie. You saw him through your bedroom window and Johnny waved like he’d been invited, like he was meant to be there. Like it was right.

His certainty, again, borderline offensive.

You stood in front of him, on one side of the gate, “How long have you been out here?”

“Check your phone.”

You’d been ignoring the device since your conversation with Jaehyun; tiptoeing around it like any sudden movements would provoke it to ring, buzz, ding. Worried, mostly, about more encouraging words from Jaehyun. Pulling it out from your pocket was the first time you’d checked and - mixed in with the multiple messages from Jaehyun - ten minutes ago, Johnny had told you he was near your house. You mumbled, “Ah.”

That smile. That particular smile. In the gentle light of an unremarkable fall morning, Johnny gave you that smile and you finally noticed that small hiccup in your heart. Maybe it was nerves, maybe it was your subconscious urging you to take a chance. It was honest, it was warm, it was playful and exciting. That smile, without much else, could convince you to do a lot of things.

Squaring your shoulders, tilting your head and letting out a quick laugh, you asked him, “Did you come here to tell me you changed your mind?”

He shook his head, hair flopping just as it should. You’d been right to think he’d look good like that. Then again, he probably always had, “Nope. Haven’t changed it at all. What about you?”

“Wouldn’t I need to make up my mind to change it?” You asked. It was a valid question, a little less than twelve hours wasn’t much time to consider anything, really. Johnny nodded, so you continued, “Can I ask you something?”

He leaned against the stone wall the gate was settled into, “Okay, ask away.”

You wanted to ask him if he was willing to take things slow. You wanted to ask Johnny, if you did take a chance on this, if you had to tell Mark and Jaehyun everything right away. You wanted to ask if, by asking that, were you still reacting exactly how he thought you would.

You looked up at him, matching his stance on the opposing side of the stone wall. You were face to face, eye to eye - which was rare, considering his height. Looking at Johnny in that moment, the way his eyes were shining with no help from the absent sun; how his lips curled up just slightly like he was both mocking and admiring you; like maybe you were the only thing he could see or wanted to. It was such a strange feeling. You briefly remembered exactly how it felt to kiss him, only half a day ago and could feel the blush burning from your cheeks to the the tips of your ears. Every question you thought to ask him dissolved and you were left just staring at each other, wind rustling his hair and yours.

The gust of wind urged a sigh from somewhere deep in your lungs, the words followed the breath out of your lips before you could stop them, “Have you always looked at me like that?”

Johnny’s smile broke, wider than ever and his eyes lifted into half moons, “Probably. At least for the last six months. But, I’m good at hiding it.”

“Because you thought you’d change your mind.” You teased him.

“You’re not going to let that go, huh?”

You only shrugged. Neither of you moved to a new position, his eyes still sparkled and your cheeks still burned red. You asked him, “Why?”

Johnny laughed then, repeating, “Why? Why what?”

It felt pathetic to ask him “why me,” but some part of you needed to know. On top of that, Johnny’s…confession had been very uniquely Johnny; straightforward, a fact, like he was telling you the Earth was round and you were ridiculous for not knowing. The Earth is round and birds fly and I like you. He didn’t elaborate and you didn’t know if he ever would, but you wanted him to. You wanted a wild confession, a passionate one.

“Why do you like me?” It took all your courage to ask, you were grateful that your voice didn’t falter, “At least three reasons.”

It was also becoming annoying how you were suddenly so painfully shy in front of Johnny. You hated that feeling, but the atmosphere had changed so quickly it was hard to find your footing.

He nodded his head, looking up towards the sky and mumbling, “Okay, three reasons.”

Then he was silent. For a very long time. You shuffled from one foot to the other, and Johnny stood still fixing his face to look like he was impossibly deep in thought. Occasionally he’d sigh, he’d pick at his hair or tap his chin. A few times, Johnny murmured things like “no, don’t say that” or “maybe” and once “oh, I can’t say that.”

You huffed out an annoyed laugh, tossing your head back and tapping at the stone, “Jesus, don’t strain yourself.”

“I’m narrowing it down.” He stated. Simplicity, again, “You only wanted three reasons.”

“How many reasons do you have?”

Johnny turned his attention back to you, a wild, remarkable, troublemaking grin on his face. He put both hands back on the stone, one hand on top of the other and placed his chin on top of them, “About one million.”

“I hate you.”

You rolled your eyes, a smile tugging at your lips, and pushed yourself back to walk into your house. Johnny called your name. When you didn’t turn back, you could hear the gate swing open, slam shut and the thudding of his feet on the pathway. Johnny laughed - he was always laughing, “Wait.”

Still, you didn’t turn, stepping up to your front door. You glanced over your shoulder to tell him, almost scolding him, “That was so corny.”

Johnny stood on the bottom step, you on the top. He grabbed your hand, pulling you to turn around and look at him. That smile was still there, it made your stomach flip. It was hard to keep up with how your body, your mind, your heart was reacting. Your phone burned in your pocket, suddenly remembering Jaehyun, remembering you ignoring Jaehyun. Remembering Jaehyun telling you to do what felt right and he’d support you.

Johnny licked his lips, “Kiss me.”

“What?”

He corrected, “Can I kiss you? Again?” After a moment, he tacked on a gentle, “Please?”

His smile never left. The smile that could convince you to do a lot of things. The smile that pulled you down the middle step, down so you were once again eye level with Johnny. The smile that only fell when you leaned in and Johnny leaned in and you were so close that you could feel him breathing. If you listened close enough, you could hear his heart beating loudly in time with yours. Johnny kissed you, you kissed him back.

His lips, God his lips, were soft against yours and warm despite the chill of fall. Johnny lifted the hand he was still holding to rest on his shoulder, his own hands wrapping around you to pull you against him. Your other hand naturally found its way to the nape of his neck, stroking the hair there and you swear you hear him moan when you do. So you smile, and you melt and you immerse yourself in feeling his body against yours, his lips moving perfectly, slowly. The exact passion you were wanting but entirely wordless. It was hard not to whine when he pulled away, it felt like an eternity and it felt entirely too short.

Johnny waited for you to catch your breath and open your eyes. He held you by your hips and didn’t break eye contact when he said, “I feel like you think I’m joking and I’m not.”

You shook your head, “I don’t think you’re joking, I’m just….shocked.”

“Good shock or bad shock?” Johnny asked, but he added, “Based on the way you just kissed me, I’m hoping good.”

“If you stop being corny, I’ll let you know faster.” You laughed, so he laughed, but neither one of you moved. You both just stood there for a moment, holding onto each other, breathing, blinking, smiling. After a while, you told Johnny, “I think it’s good. Right now, I think it’s a good shock. But, you gave yourself six months to change your mind, so I expect the same.”

He shook his head, “Nah, in six months you’ll already be too in love with me and I’ll have wanted you for a full year.”

Another skipped heartbeat, another small stomach flip. You had to push away the question of if you could fall in love with Johnny. Honestly, anyone could. It would be so easy, especially if he kept kissing you like that. Still, you didn’t think it would be nearly as fun to give into him so quickly. It would likely never hurt to humble Johnny.

“You think I’ll fall in love with you that fast, huh?”

He didn’t waver, “Probably faster, if I’m being honest.”

Your eyebrows raised, leaning back to look fully at Johnny. He looked so proud of himself, you thought about kissing him again. Instead, you said, “I feel like you’re trying to start a bet with me and I don’t think the target is supposed to be in on that kind of bet.”

“I’m not.” He told you; another fact. Johnny pulled you closer, he didn’t hesitate but lingered for a moment before bringing his lips to your cheek. He placed a kiss there before his lips hovered over your ear, “But, if I were making a bet, I’d say three months.”

You rolled your eyes, pushing him back finally and stepping back up to the top step. He put his hands in his pockets, still looking proud and something like invincible, “Wouldn’t I have to give you a chance, first?”

“Aren’t you?”

“Am I?”

“I’d like you to.” He took a bold step up, matching your height again, “I would very much like you to.”

Observation had been key in the last twenty four hours. It was hard to adjust to him looking at you like that, hard to take it all in. But, none of it was unwelcome. It was just shocking. You’d always thought Johnny would be the type to make a crush he had, any crush, obvious. Johnny was the type to be loud about that sort of thing. You considered, for a second, that maybe he had been and that you had been so wrapped up in…that you hadn’t noticed it.

“Okay, Johnny.”

“Okay, what?” It was almost a whisper. He was so close again when he said your name, “Okay to what? I want you to say it.”

“Okay to…sitting next to you at another movie. Just the two of us.” You breathed, it felt like a comfortable enough offer when all you could really think about was kissing Johnny again. Johnny, your friend. Johnny, who was now looking at you like you were made of starlight, “Okay to…giving this a shot. Is that good?”

“It’s good.” He seemed like he was reconsidering that answer, then he mended it saying, “It’s great. Really great. When? Are you free later?”

You were, so you nodded without much thought and leaned against your front door. From your back pocket, now pressed against the door, you felt and heard your phone vibrate. Johnny’s went off, too, which meant it was one of two people. You felt your heart stop, watching Johnny take his phone out to check and he told you, “It’s Mark. You haven’t seen his phone charger, right?”

You shook your head as a reply, maybe to shake out your thoughts, as well. You had to ask him. Even if it was unfair, you had to. The way your heart paused, meant you had to. How your hands started sweating and shaking, you had to. You were consciously thinking about every breath you took just by thinking it was Jaehyun texting the two of you. So, even if you hated to, you had to ask.

“Johnny. I have to ask something else.” He looked up, your phone buzzed again with whatever Johnny had typed, he nodded for you to continue, “Can we…Look, I want to take this…”

“You don’t want to tell Mark and Jaehyun.” You paused, knowing the answer was yes. Johnny waited for you to respond, when you forced your head to nod, he sighed. He tucked his phone away and tapped his fingers on his knee, “For how long?”

You shrugged your shoulders and closed your eyes, head against the door. It was pushing too far, asking him to keep this from your two other best friends. You offered, “I just want to feel this out. It kind of came out of nowhere.”

“Of course it came out of nowhere. I know you.” Johnny told you, with his grin and his floppy hair and his certainty, “You’re good at a lot of things, but one of those things is talking yourself out of stuff.”

“Oh, yikes.” He was right, of course. It still nipped at your pride, “Okay.”

“Hey.” Johnny dipped down once more, hand reaching out to hold onto your arm. He waited for you to acknowledge him before he said, “It’s not a bad thing. A lot of the time, you’re the voice of reason in the group. That brain of yours is good for the dynamic.”

That brain of yours could only think how Jaehyun said this might be bad for the dynamic. You and Johnny might be bad for the dynamic.

Johnny could see you slipping back into thought, something he’d really wanted to avoid. He wished, in that moment and a lot of moments in the past, that he could reach inside your head and pull you back out. Johnny had been good about it before, making jokes or distracting you or picking a fight. Doing any of that didn’t fit this mood, however. So, Johnny simply asked you, “What’s on your mind?”

You told him, just as simply, “I don’t want to make you feel like a secret.”

“I won’t. What else?”

“I just…” Sighing the words out was the only way they’d breach your lips, “It’s a big change.”

“It is.” Johnny agreed, “But for what it's worth, you’ve always been the best with change. And…”

“And?”

“And now that I’ve done it twice, I really don’t want to have to stop kissing you.” He’d made you laugh, again. Johnny didn’t mean to make you laugh, he’d never been more serious about something. But, he found that when he didn’t expect to hear it is when your laugh sounded the sweetest. So, he smiled at you and let you laugh, “We’ll tell them eventually. When you’re ready. In about two weeks, when you’re officially in love with me.”

“Two weeks? You said three months.”

He straightened, “I was accounting for group time.”

“We’ll still have group time. If anything, group time will drag it out longer.”

“Drag what out longer?”

You rolled your eyes, “Me falling in love with you.”

“So, you're admitting you will fall in love with me?”

“Jesus Christ, Johnny.” You turned from him, opening the door to go inside. Johnny was probably smiling, probably smug, probably adorable behind you, “Pick a movie and let me know what time, okay?”

“Will do. And, hey,” He waited for you to look back at him - you were right, he was smug. Johnny pointed towards you, vaguely, “You look really good in my jacket.”

Until that point, you hadn’t noticed. It was the first jacket on the hook when you’d come outside, which made sense. You couldn’t tell if you were blushing or if the rush of fall air tinted your cheeks; you felt hot and cold all at once, so it was almost impossible to tell. Johnny made his way down your steps, you stood at the door watching him. But, when he got to the gate, he turned and looked at you. His expression was signature Johnny; mischievous, playful, calculating. He shook his head, hair flopping again and his tongue swiping across his bottom lip.

Johnny took exactly six strides to get back to you, down the path and up the stairs, and when his lips were an inch away from yours, he asked, “One more time? Please?”

So you kissed him. And it felt sweet, on its way to intoxicating. And it felt warm, on its way to burning. It felt comfortable, on its way to right.

masterlist. next.

[epinebleue]

love me now (m) | johnny suh

a series of drabbles depicting life with your hot-ass boyfriend.

pairing: johnny suh x reader (female)

genre: established relationship!au, angst, fluff, mature.

warnings: specified in each chapter.

status: ongoing

chapter index:

01. in which you have sex via FaceTime

02. in which you have to babysit your niece

03. in which you go to a Halloween party

04. in which Johnny has a car accident

05. in which you go for a night drive

06. in which you lose a bet

07. in which you make an interesting discovery

08. in which the rain ruins your plans

09. in which Johnny gets into a fight

10. in which the heat is unbearable

11. in which Johnny gets his hair cut

No reposting or translations allowed.

© epinebleue 2023

[keehomania]

JOHNNY SUH (서영호) — FRIENDS (2)

(EXTENDED) ✧.* MINORS DNI (18+)

the studio was filled to the brim with creativity, the kind only found in a university art class on a thursday afternoon. it was flooded with students, each absorbed in their own world. the faint smell of oil paints mingled with the earthy scent of wet clay, the low hum of charcoal pencils scratching against paper, and the occasional mutterings of frustration or triumph filled the space. easels were scattered about like skeletons, their frames supporting unfinished works that glistened under the soft light streaming from the high windows. sunlight slanted lazily across the floor, illuminating particles of dust in the air.

the professor, known for her lax attitude, had long stopped bothering with punctuality. she’d drift in whenever the mood struck, her students used to the freedom that came with it. some of them thrived in this lack of structure, diligently working on their projects—focused, hunched over their creations as though they were the only things in the universe. some sketched silently, the sharp scratch of pencil against paper a soothing background noise. others sculpted, fingers molding and shaping clay into forms that seemed to breathe. and then there was you.

you sat in the center of it all, doing absolutely nothing, arms crossed over your chest as you reclined back in your chair with a deep sigh. your eyes scanned the room, half-lidded with boredom, before your gaze inevitably dropped to your phone, face-up on the table like a reflection of your current mood. “holy shit,” you muttered to no one in particular, grabbing your phone and pressing it to your forehead. the cool glass made brief contact with your skin before you heaved another sigh, eyes fluttering shut in frustration. you peeked through one eye only to see some of your foundation now smudged onto the screen. perfect.

“what is it now?” joohyun’s voice piped up, soft yet amused, from across the table. she exchanged a quick glance with seulgi, who was already trying—unsuccessfully—to hide a knowing smirk behind her sketchbook. you waved your phone in the air, leaning back with exaggerated exasperation. “this asshole,” you grumbled, your words dripping with disdain. “he's the one who suggested a hotel instead of a motel, and now he wants me to chip in? like, i won the jackass lottery or something.”

seulgi’s lips finally parted into a grin, the kind of smile that made you feel even more ridiculous for being upset in the first place. she loved this, basking in the drama of your misadventures. you kicked your legs out under the table, letting them dangle as you vented, before dropping your phone with a soft clatter and burying your face in your arms. “who is it this time?” she asked, her voice brimming with barely-contained laughter. “the guy from that app? the one from yesterday?”

you lifted your head just enough to shoot her a look. you’d stopped believing in fairytales a long time ago—no more prince charming, no perfect ending. you were fine with it, honestly. you didn’t need romance; you just needed a little fun. “yeah,” you admitted, leaning back in your chair. “and i wouldn’t even be this pissed if he actually had any game. but it wasn’t even worth spending the night with him.”

joohyun reached over, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. her touch was gentle, sympathetic, as if she knew how many times you’d been through this cycle. you pressed your eyes shut, a shiver running through you as last night’s blurry details flickered across your mind. the cringe settled deep in your bones. “i’m so done,” you sighed once again, this time quieter, almost to yourself.

seulgi was already giggling, and joohyun was fighting back a grin of her own. you sat back up, hands hitting the table with a light thud as you tried to shake off the lingering embarrassment. “smoke break, guys?” seulgi shook her head, holding up two fingers that she’d been doodling on earlier. “can’t. quitting,” she replied in a higher, almost mocking pitch. “seulgi’s on a no-nic diet for the next three days.”

you shot her a look, feigning disgust as you pushed her hand away. “you psycho. what’s in three days?” she linked arms with joohyun, flipping her hair dramatically as if she were some movie star. “a blind date,” she sang, “and i can’t be shaking on the date, so i’m preparing.”

you rolled your eyes. “another blind date? you’re addicted to men, i swear.” the words were barely out of your mouth when you realized the irony of your statement. seulgi didn’t miss a beat, waving you off with a smug grin. “look who’s talking, miss i-fell-for-the-hotel,” she quipped, dragging joohyun away with a playful skip in her step.

you sighed, muttering under your breath, “point taken.” for a moment, you considered staying right where you were, hiding away in your bubble of frustration and second-hand embarrassment. but that wasn’t your style. instead, you pushed yourself forward, sliding across the floor in your chair until you reached the person you really needed to talk to.

“hey, loser,” you called out, your eyes locked on johnny’s figure as he worked. he was hunched over his sculpture, completely absorbed, his hands moving with precision as he molded the clay. his ears were covered with large headphones, barricading him from the outside world, oblivious to your approach. you watched him for a second longer, taking in the concentration etched into his features. workaholic, lunatic, or maybe a bit of both. he’d been your best friend for years now, and somehow, even through all your ridiculousness, he stuck around. you weren’t sure why, but you were grateful.

with a glance you hoped was nonchalant, you swung your boot gently into the back of his knee, not hard enough to topple him over but enough to get his attention. johnny’s head jerked up, his expression morphing from confusion to mild annoyance as he pulled his headphones down around his neck. “what do you want?” he sighed, his voice heavy with the weight of someone who had dealt with you a thousand times over.

you sighed dramatically, mimicking his tone as you flopped back into your chair. “seul and joo left, and now i have no one to smoke with.” you ran a hand through your hair, flipping it over your shoulder with unnecessary flair. “what if i go alone and get kidnapped? what’s my mom gonna do?”

johnny rolled his eyes, the corners of his mouth twitching as if he were fighting off a smile. “i should just let you get kidnapped, you psycho,” he muttered, but there was no real venom behind his words. “let’s go.” that was all you needed. you shoved your chair back, springing to your feet with a grin, tapping johnny’s back playfully with your fists as he stood. he tried his best to hide the small smile tugging at his lips, but you knew him too well.

the hallway leading out of the studio was quiet, save for the occasional shuffle of footsteps and muffled voices from the rooms you passed. the door clicked softly as johnny pushed it open, letting a stream of late afternoon sunlight flood the corridor. you followed him out, the warmth hitting your skin in sharp contrast to the cool air of the studio. outside, the sky was a pale wash of blues and pinks, the first signs of evening beginning to settle over the campus.

you trailed after him, the soles of your boots echoing faintly against the worn stone stairs that spiraled down to the terrace below. the steps were chipped in places, the edges softened by years of students rushing up and down them, eager for a break, a moment to breathe. you descended with him at a leisurely pace, taking your time as you passed patches of ivy creeping up the sides of the building, the green leaves glistening under the fading sunlight.

as you reached the terrace, a familiar scene greeted you. a few other students were already there, lounging against the stone walls or perched on the benches, cigarettes hanging loosely from their lips, smoke curling lazily into the air. laughter and conversation floated around in a low hum, blending with the distant sound of traffic from the streets beyond the campus. it was a scene you had witnessed countless times—a place where people drifted between classes, seeking a moment of reprieve from whatever deadlines or frustrations weighed on their minds.

you plopped down onto the nearest bench with a sigh, the wood creaking beneath you as you shrugged off your jacket. your hand slid into the inner pocket, fingers curling around the familiar pack of cigarettes. with a quick flick of your wrist, you pulled one out and brought it to your lips, feeling the slight resistance as the filter pressed against your skin.

johnny remained silent as he walked to the edge of the terrace, arms folded across his chest as he leaned against the low metal fence. his gaze wandered over the campus below, where students meandered through the courtyard, their shadows long against the golden light. he looked like he was taking in the view, but you knew better. his eyes flickered back toward you, watching in that subtle, amused way he always did. there was something comforting about it—how he never had to say much, how his presence alone was enough.

you struck a match, the flame dancing momentarily before you lit your cigarette. you inhaled deeply, feeling the smoke curl in your lungs before you released it into the air, the cloud of it rising like a small puff of frustration. you smoked like it was the only thing anchoring you, like you could pull something solid from it if you just inhaled deeply enough. johnny’s soft scoff reached your ears, and you glanced over to see him shaking his head. “you’re a real addict, you know that?” his tone was teasing, but his gaze was sharp, the corner of his mouth twitching in a half-smile. still, he accepted the cigarette you offered him, taking it with a look that played at being indifferent but didn’t quite hide the fondness underneath.

“heard last night didn’t go so well,” he remarked, flicking the lighter and inhaling a slow drag before passing it back. you scrunched up your face, the memory hitting you all over again like a wave of distaste. “don’t even get me started. that son of a bitch,” you trailed off, slapping your palm against your forehead as if you could physically erase the entire night from your mind. you took another deep drag from your cigarette, letting the smoke soothe your nerves, though it did little to remove the embarrassment lodged deep in your chest.

johnny’s eyes lingered on you with that amused expression, the one that said he knew exactly how bad your night had been even before you said it. he leaned against the bench behind you, close enough that you could feel the slight brush of his shoulder as he hovered. you could sense his curiosity, see the way his gaze kept flicking toward the phone you had now opened in your lap.

“god, i hate it when they have tattoos like this,” you muttered, swiping left on the latest guy to show up on your screen. the tattoo in question—a lion etched awkwardly across the guy’s chest—made you gag in disgust as you dismissed him with a swipe, your fingers moving swiftly as if the mere sight of it offended your sensibilities. johnny shifted beside you, a small frown tugging at the corners of his lips. “pretty cheesy,” he murmured, taking another drag, the smoke curling around him in a soft cloud. he couldn’t help his hand from subconsciously patting down the tattoo that rested on his shoulder and extended above his pec. it was the same one he did his best to hide under baggy clothes, as he had gotten it done not too long ago. it was safe to say that your words stung.

you set your phone down on your lap, turning to meet his gaze with a look that was half-amused, half-exasperated. “come to think of it,” you started, the smirk creeping back onto your lips, “the guy from last night had a huge tattoo. wanna know what it said?” johnny shot you a look—half curiosity, half dread—but there was no real stopping you once you got started. he sighed, leaning in slightly, even though you both knew he didn’t really want to hear whatever it was you were about to say.

“‘i will never die,’” you recited with mock gravitas, your voice low as you mimicked the guy's words. johnny blinked, waiting for the punchline. you paused, savoring the moment before adding, “how? false advertising. that dick of his just kept dying and dying—” before you could finish, his hand shot out, pressing firmly over your mouth, his palm warm against your lips. you saw the way his eyes widened, the faint blush creeping up his neck, and you couldn’t help the smile that curled beneath his hand, though you were certain he could feel it.

“shut up,” he muttered, his voice tinged with disbelief as he glanced around, making sure no one else had overheard your scandalous recounting. his hand lingered for a moment longer before he pulled it away, exasperation written all over his face. “you’re insane.” you couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you as you watched him shake his head. he was used to your antics by now, used to your endless rants about the ridiculous men you met and the even more ridiculous situations you found yourself in. it was part of his job, as your best friend, to listen to it all. as a man, though? he had heard more than he ever wanted to.

the glow of the vanity light cast a soft, golden hue over your apartment’s small, cluttered room. your reflection stared back at you, lips pursed in concentration as you applied the final touches to your look. the lipstick glided smoothly over your lips, completing the look you were known for on nights like these. you loved going out. there was something about the noise, the energy, the feeling of being alive among people, that kept you from ever staying in. the silence of your apartment, the stillness that came when you weren’t surrounded by the pulse of music or the buzz of conversation, felt suffocating.

you leaned in closer to the mirror, adjusting the curve of your eyeliner just so, exhaling softly as the familiar weight of anticipation settled in your chest. a night out was like a ritual—one you had mastered with the precision of someone who knew exactly who they were in those fleeting moments of freedom. the dress you wore tonight—a vibrant shade of red that hugged your body in all the right places—was daring, just as you liked it. your fingers absentmindedly smoothed the fabric, adjusting it one last time before your gaze drifted to your phone on the edge of the vanity.

its screen lit up with a soft glow, catching your attention as the group chat with seulgi and joohyun exploded with messages. seulgi was in full panic mode, flooding the chat with questions about outfits, makeup, and shoes, her usual pre-night-out anxiety in full swing. you smirked, your first instinct to fire back something to simmer her down, but your fingers hovered over her name for a moment before sliding over to johnny’s contact instead.

(y/n) 𖹭

where r we meeting up? (6:24 pm)

you didn’t have to wait long. the reply came in almost immediately, and the corner of your lips twitched in amusement as you read it.

chicago by trina vega

im literally in front of ur house? hurry up (6:24 pm)

you blinked, caught off guard. you glanced back at the time. had you really spent that long getting ready? it hadn’t felt like it, but time had a funny way of slipping away when you were perfecting your look. to be fair, johnny hadn’t exactly mentioned he’d be coming to pick you up. but then again, he always did, so you should’ve known. you let out a breath, casting one last look in the mirror before swapping out your denim jacket for the leather one that hung from the back of your chair. the familiar scent of worn leather greeted you as you shrugged it over your shoulders, its weight a comfortable presence against the soft fabric of your dress.

with one last glance around the room, you flicked off the lights and stepped outside, the evening air cool as it wrapped around you. much to your approval, johnny was exactly where he said he’d be, leaning casually against his motorcycle, the streetlights casting a faint glow over his figure. his lips quirked into a teasing smile as he raised a hand in greeting, eyes glinting with that ever-present, mocking amusement.

“so pretty,” you murmured, but your gaze had already slipped past him, landing squarely on his motorcycle. you couldn’t help the way your eyes softened as you admired it, the sleek, polished surface gleaming under the dim lights. for a second, his expression brightened, the compliment washing over him, but the light in his eyes dimmed just as fast as he realized it wasn’t for him. he let out an exaggerated sigh, his posture relaxing as he pushed off from the bike and reached for the spare helmet. “you should totally sell her to me,” you said, your tone playful but laced with just enough seriousness that johnny couldn’t quite tell if you were joking or not.

he scoffed, shaking his head as he passed you the helmet, his fingers brushing against yours for just a second. “you should totally change my name in your contacts,” he retorted, mimicking your playful tone as he mounted the bike with practiced ease. your lips curled into a smile as you swung your leg over the seat, the leather of your jacket creaking slightly as you inched closer to him, wrapping your arms around his waist. the warmth of his body radiated through his jacket, a comforting presence against your chest. you leaned in, your breath ghosting against the back of his neck as you murmured, “not a chance.”

the proximity, the casual intimacy of the gesture, was so common between the two of you, but you knew exactly the effect it had. you could feel the way johnny tensed slightly beneath your touch, could practically hear the gears grinding in his head. it was always like this—a careful dance between familiarity and something unspoken, something neither of you dared to acknowledge. he didn’t say a word, but the way his hands gripped the handlebars a little tighter was answer enough. he started the engine with a low rumble, the vibrations of the bike thrumming through your legs as you held onto him, your arms tightening instinctively around his waist. you rested your cheek against his back, a small smirk tugging at your lips as the bike roared to life beneath you.

the neon lights of the bar flickered above as johnny parked his bike, the low hum of the engine fading into the steady pulse of the city nightlife. you swung your leg over and hopped off, the heels of your boots clicking against the pavement. as you straightened your dress, a teasing grin spread across your lips when you noticed johnny’s outfit. “hey, you totally copied me,” you said, pointing at the black leather jacket he was wearing, almost identical to yours. your eyes glinted with playful accusation, lips tugging into a smirk.

he scoffed, his response casual as he pulled off your helmet and tucked it back onto the bike. “i’m older than you, loser. you’re definitely the copycat here,” he retorted, giving you a sideways glance. his voice was light, but there was a warmth to the banter, the kind of ease that came with knowing someone far too well. you waved him off with an exaggerated flick of your hand. “details, details,” you mumbled, already skipping ahead to the entrance of the bar, your boots clicking in a hurried rhythm. the thrill of the night ahead quickened your steps, an excitement bubbling in your chest that you couldn’t quite suppress.

johnny trailed behind, slower, more measured, but his eyes followed you with the same fond amusement they always did. you pushed open the heavy door, the familiar warmth and noise of the bar spilling out to greet you. the rich, smoky scent mingled with the low thrum of music, immediately washing over you like a comforting embrace. as you stepped inside, you were met with a chorus of cheers and loud greetings from the group already seated at the far end of the room. seulgi’s voice rang out first, her words blending with the din of laughter. “now we can get the night started!”

johnny gave a small smirk behind you, pulling out a chair between him and joohyun as you made your way over to the table. you took your seat, relishing the way the eyes of your friends danced with anticipation. this was your space, your people, and for a moment, everything outside these walls felt distant, irrelevant. one of the younger guys from your department, jaehee, leaned forward, his eyebrows raised in mock curiosity as he studied you and johnny. “oh, what’s this?” he asked, his gaze darting between the two of you. “you two have the same jacket, you almost look like a couple.”

his words earned a few playful jeers from the others, a chorus of knowing smirks and teasing grins circling the table. johnny stayed silent, his expression unreadable as he ran a finger along the rim of his empty glass, eyes trained elsewhere. but you scoffed in disbelief, waving the comment off with a laugh.

“as your senior, i’m offended,” you clicked your tongue, feigning hurt. “and here i was, considering paying for your drink.” your mock indignation drew a few chuckles from the table, though jaehee immediately clasped his hands together in a dramatic display of asking for forgiveness. johnny, however, seemed distant. you glanced his way, expecting a witty remark or at least some acknowledgment of the teasing, but his jaw remained tight, his focus locked on the empty glass before him. something was off, but you couldn’t quite place what it was.

the next half hour dissolved into a whirlwind of drinks and laughter, the room spinning with the lightheaded haze that came with each clink of the glasses. your cheeks flushed, the warmth of alcohol coursing through your veins as you joined in the cheers and toasts. but even in your tipsy state, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was bothering johnny. he sat there, quiet, his usual sharp remarks dulled by whatever was clouding his mood.

mark, one of johnny’s closer friends, leaned over, his grin wide and tipsy as he slurred out an idea. “let’s play a drinking game,” he announced, the table erupting in agreement. but just as quickly, johnny shook his head, pushing away from the table slightly. “i’m out,” he said simply, his voice firm but not aggressive.

you turned to him, frowning at his sudden withdrawal from the fun. “what’s your problem tonight, dude?” the alcohol gave your words an edge they might not have had otherwise, the confusion morphing into irritation. johnny didn’t meet your gaze, just shook his head again, his fingers tapping restlessly on the table. that only deepened your frown, your displeasure clear as you leaned back in your chair. before you could push further, mark chimed in with a laugh, slapping johnny’s shoulder. “he needs to get laid,” he grinned, his voice thick with alcohol-induced confidence. “give him a hand, (y/n).”

you sneered, your hand trembling slightly as you raised the now-empty bottle toward mark, words tumbling from your lips in a mixture of amusement and frustration. “only after i kick your ass,” you shot back, your tone playful but sharp. before you could do anything further, johnny swiftly reached over, plucking the bottle from your grasp and placing it back down on the table with a decisive clink. his expression remained neutral, though there was something firm in the way he moved, like he was pulling you back from a ledge you didn’t even realize you were on.

you stuck your tongue out at him, your way of telling him he was being no fun, but he just shrugged, his eyes betraying none of the thoughts swirling behind them. he was always like this—stubborn, distant when something bothered him. and you knew him well enough to recognize that something was eating at him tonight, even if he wouldn’t say what.

nonetheless, the room buzzed with excitement as the game kicked off, the energy of the group infectious. “shake your hands and take your shots, the game of death chose you!” came the enthusiastic chorus of voices around the table. even johnny joined in, his voice blending with the others, a smirk pulling at his lips despite the slight edge lingering in his mood. his tolerance for alcohol was impressive, but now, with a few drinks down, even he had loosened up enough to fully engage in the fun.

fingers were pointed, accusations flew across the table, and the countdown began. one, two—then, the inevitable happened. mark, poor mark, let out a dramatic cry of defeat, his head dropping to the table as if he had just lost everything. you clasped your hands together in delight, a wicked grin on your face as johnny leaned back with a chuckle, enjoying the spectacle. the entire table erupted in laughter, the kind that echoed through the room, bubbling up from deep within the belly.

“hat off, asshole,” johnny cooed, tugging at the brim of mark's cap, his grin growing wider as he let out a long-suffering sigh, as if preparing himself for some unspeakable punishment. with exaggerated slowness, mark removed his cap, his face twisted in mock despair. “here, here,” you chimed in, leaning forward with a glint in your eye, pulling the hair tie off your wrist. “he gets the hair tie. you reap what you sow, loser.”

mark sighed again, his eyes fluttering shut as you lazily tied his hair into a messy shape resembling a palm tree, earning another round of giggles from the table. it was all ridiculous, but that’s what made it fun. everyone loved a good humiliation as long as it wasn’t their turn to face the table’s judgment. johnny watched in silence, though he couldn’t quite shake the flicker of irritation that crept into his chest as he saw you leaning into mark, the casual way your hands brushed through his hair. he tried to push the feeling aside, taking a long sip from his glass, but it lingered. a part of him wasn’t entertained—at least not by that.

still, the game carried on. johnny refocused, pulling himself out of his own head as he gave Mark a mischievous nudge. "go up to the table across from us," he ordered, his voice low and amused, "ask those girls if you can dance for them." mark rose from his seat with a dramatic groan, stumbling slightly as he approached the two girls sitting at a nearby table. the group watched with rapt attention, stifling their laughter as he awkwardly tried to charm them into his dance. even johnny cracked a grin, though that strange feeling still lurked at the edges of his thoughts, especially when his gaze drifted back to you.

by the time mark returned, his face red and buried in his hands from embarrassment, you were already reclaiming your hair tie with a triumphant smirk. the laughter around the table began to die down, but the game’s energy lingered in the air, thick and buzzing. you poured yourself another drink, your hand surprisingly steady given the number of glasses you’d already downed, and casually poured one for Johnny too. he accepted it with a nod, his fingers brushing yours as he took the glass.

then, jaehee leaned forward, a sly grin creeping onto his face as he cupped his hands around his mouth to get everyone’s attention. “listen up, listen up,” he announced, his voice dropping as if he was about to share some forbidden secret. everyone leaned in, intrigued, their curiosity piqued. you tilted your head, your glass hovering near your lips as you waited for his revelation.

“who did the deed in the student council room last year?” he asked, eyes glinting with mischief. his words were met with a collective gasp from the table, everyone recalling the scandalous rumor that had circulated last year. you couldn’t help but chuckle, shooting johnny a knowing look across the table. you were the first to find out back then, and johnny was the first person you’d told. the memory of it brought a grin to your face.

“quit playing detective,” you slurred, pretending to be serious as you waved a hand dismissively. “you're barking up the wrong tree.” but your words only fanned the flames of anticipation, everyone now eagerly awaiting the revelation. jaehee leaned in closer, much too close for comfort, and johnny shot him a look, his voice low and dangerous. “get the fuck off me,” he muttered, nudging him back.

but jaehee persisted, his eyes gleaming with excitement. “come on, who did it?” you rolled your eyes, but couldn’t resist the temptation of feeding into the suspense. leaning in even closer, your voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper, “really? none of you know?” a chorus of shaking heads followed, and you sighed theatrically before giving in. “it was jaehyun and a freshman.”

the table erupted in shock, gasps and exclamations flying in every direction as everyone turned to one another, exchanging stunned looks. johnny shot you a look too, one eyebrow raised, though there was a glimmer of amusement in his eyes that mirrored your own.

“no wonder you're called (y/n) live,” seulgi teased, raising her glass. “breaking news!” the nickname caught on quickly as the group toasted to your latest piece of gossip. the next hour blurred by in a haze of laughter and drinks, the thrill of your revelation keeping the energy high. it wasn’t until you tried to stand that you realized just how much you had indulged. the world tilted dangerously as you wobbled on your feet, your legs giving out beneath you as you crashed back down into your seat.

“(y/n)? are you okay?” mark asked, concern crossing his features as he leaned forward. but you waved him off with a lazy hand, your vision spinning as you tried to compose yourself. johnny was up in an instant, moving toward you like it was second nature. his hand found your arm, steadying you as you clutched the fabric of his jacket for balance. he leaned down, his voice quiet and close to your ear.

“want me to take you back home?” he asked, his tone soft, protective in a way that wasn’t overbearing but just enough to offer comfort. you shook your head, pushing yourself up again. everyone around the table seemed to be waiting for your answer, the night hanging in the balance.

“the next stop is seulgi’s house,” you slurred, but your voice regained strength as you straightened up, determination flashing across your face. “for the afterparty.” and just like that, the room exploded into cheers once more, the promise of more drinks and more fun driving the night forward, even as johnny cast one last glance your way, concern still lingering in the set of his jaw.

you weren't aware of much, floating somewhere between bliss and tipsy oblivion as johnny carried you on his back. his hands held firmly around your legs, adjusting every few steps to keep his grip tight as you lazily draped your arms over his shoulders. one of your hands held a cigarette, burning slowly in the dim night air. you brought it to your lips, taking a slow drag, feeling the familiar warmth slip through your veins. “do you really have to do that now?” his voice was low, exasperated, as he huffed under your weight, his breath curling into the cool evening.

you grinned lazily, bringing the cigarette up to his lips without a word. he paused, looking ahead for a moment, then gave in and took a drag for himself. you watched the smoke billow from his mouth, your eyes half-lidded as you murmured, “you're welcome,” before nestling your head against his back. you felt his body shift, and though he rolled his eyes, he said nothing, just adjusted his hold on you and kept walking.

seulgi and joohyun were ahead, arms locked, sharing one of those knowing glances you were too hazy to catch. mark, trailing behind them, couldn’t resist inserting himself between the two, throwing his arms around their shoulders as if he belonged there. “is there really nothing going on between them?” he whispered harshly, nodding toward you and johnny. seulgi exchanged another look with joohyun, both stifling giggles. mark persisted, wide-eyed and curious. “what? stop looking at each other. i wanna know, tell me.”

joohyun shook her head with a grin, but seulgi saved in. “she swears there isn’t, but,” she trailed off, leaving the sentence hanging in the air. “but what? what?” mark whined, quickening his pace as the girls sped up, their giggles floating back toward him.

when you finally reached seulgi’s apartment, the atmosphere shifted. there were more drinks, and everyone seemed determined to keep the night alive. bottles of soju passed from hand to hand, and as soon as one reached you, you eagerly reached out, ready to claim it as your own. before you could even feel the cool glass in your palm, though, it was snatched away.

you turned, your expression scrunching into a playful scowl as johnny twisted the bottle in his hand, lifting it to his lips before glancing down at you. “do you wanna die?” you asked sweetly, though the edge of irritation was unmistakable. he scoffed, taking a swig and meeting your gaze with a smirk. “don’t you think you’ve had enough?”

you pretended to think about it, your lips curving into a mischievous smile before you reached up and yanked the bottle back, catching him off guard. “thanks for your concern, dad, much love.” you took a long sip, the burn of the alcohol feeling almost comforting as it slid down your throat. johnny rolled his eyes again, but you didn’t miss the small smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he trailed behind you.

“we’re gonna step out to smoke,” you announced to the group, weaving your way through the circle of friends. jaehee and mark followed without hesitation, eager to join in. as the four of you headed toward the small balcony, you slapped johnny’s back playfully, still fighting for the bottle he was now keeping just out of reach. the night air felt crisp against your skin, a refreshing contrast to the warmth buzzing in your veins. you could still walk, but you weren’t exactly steady.

johnny plopped down on the outdoor sofa, and you followed, letting yourself collapse beside him. without thinking, you shifted, dropping your head onto his lap with a satisfied sigh. he tensed immediately, the sudden weight of you pressing into him clearly catching him off guard. you could feel his hesitation, the way his body stiffened as if unsure how to handle it, but when your eyes met his, something flickered in his expression—something unreadable.

he gulped, but before he could say anything, you seized the opportunity, snatching the bottle from his hand once more. you took a quick sip, then handed it back to him with a grin. “thanks,” you murmured, your voice soft, and for a moment, the world around you seemed to blur, leaving only the two of you in the hazy glow of the night.

meanwhile, jaehee paced around the balcony, his voice rising with a familiar complaint. “guys, you guys,” he slurred, throwing his arms dramatically. “joohyun is so pretty up close. oh, god.”

mark let out a laugh, almost too loud for the quiet night. “we get it already. so tell her,” you snapped, exasperated. “we can’t stand your fawning anymore. grow a pair, get rejected, and move on.” jaehee sighed, his body folding in on itself as he slumped forward, his head in his hands. his unrequited crush was a burden to everyone around him, a fact that seemed to grow more evident with every passing drink.

johnny chuckled quietly beside you, pulling out his vape and taking a long drag. you turned to him, your eyes narrowing as you eyed the device in his hand. “i wanna try,” you demanded, your curiosity piqued. “where’ve you been hiding this?” without missing a beat, he blew a cloud of fruity smoke directly in your face, his lips quirking in amusement. “there you go,” he said, his voice teasing. “like it?”

you scrunched your nose, glaring at him playfully before snatching the vape from his hand. you pressed yourself into him, your body fitting too easily against his as you brought the vape to your lips. he was visibly tense, though he tried to hide it, his eyes flickering between your face and the ground as if he couldn’t decide where to look. mark couldn’t help but notice. “how are you not hot, dude? take your jacket off,” he commented, blowing smoke from his own vape as he gestured toward johnny.

you turned to johnny, your brow furrowing in mock concern. “yeah, take it off. what are you, cold-blooded?” johnny hesitated for a beat, but eventually gave in. with a sigh, he peeled off his leather jacket, revealing the edge of a tattoo peeking out from under his shirt. the second the ink caught the light, both you and mark gasped in unison, your eyes wide with surprise.

“dude, when’d you get tatted?” mark asked, his voice full of awe. you were just as shocked, your fingers instinctively reaching out to trace the visible lines of the tattoo. johnny barely reacted to mark’s question, his attention focused solely on you as your fingertips brushed against his skin. the contact was subtle, but it sent a shiver down his spine, one that you could almost feel beneath your touch.

“you hate it?” he asked, his voice quieter than usual, almost unsure. you shook your head slowly, still tracing the ink with a delicate touch. your fingers tugged at his shirt slightly, exposing a bit more of the design along his collarbone. “it looks really good, actually,” you murmured, your voice soft and sincere. for the first time that night, johnny smiled—an unguarded, genuine smile that seemed to reach all the way to his eyes.

the next day hit you like a truck. your body felt leaden, your mind trapped in a fog that refused to clear. the hangover clung to you, a dull ache that pulsed behind your eyes with every breath, every movement. sleep had been fleeting, and recovery—nonexistent. but there was no time to linger in your misery; it was the day of the flea market, one of the biggest events of the semester. food stalls, fundraisers, and most importantly, the pride of your department—an exhibit of heartfelt student creations—were all on the agenda.

you dragged yourself into the classroom, still feeling half-dead, only to be greeted by your professor’s knowing smile. she stood at the front, arms crossed, watching you with a teasing glint in her eye. “it smells like you’ve had a long night,” she quipped, her tone dripping with amusement. “of preparing for the market, i assume.” you let out a nervous laugh, scratching the back of your neck as you nodded. “obviously,” you said, feigning confidence. “we should consider selling soju, actually.”

your professor clicked her tongue, shaking her head slightly before turning her attention back to the review of preparations. you stifled a sigh, already feeling the weight of exhaustion pressing down on you. the hours that followed were a blur of frantic activity—setting up displays, arranging materials, checking every last detail. it wasn’t that there was an overwhelming amount to do, but the lack of help made it feel like you were tackling a mountain alone. every task felt heavier than it should’ve, your body screaming for rest with each passing minute.

by the time everything came together, you were beyond worn out. the thought of quitting, of abandoning it all, floated through your mind more than once. “i should just drop out,” you muttered under your breath, half-serious. “yup, that’s it.” you shook your head, trying to focus as you thought about your next move. the event hadn’t even started, and you needed a break, badly. a trip to the convenience store seemed like the only thing that could save you at this point.

slipping away from the scene, you made your way to the nearest store, the cool air a temporary reprieve from the heat and noise of the market preparations. you grabbed a few essentials—food, snacks, and, of course, alcohol. your hand hovered over a couple of cans of beer, and without a second thought, you tossed them into your basket. it wasn’t even the late afternoon, but who was keeping track? the fluorescent lights of the store buzzed quietly as you stood in line, your mind somewhere else entirely.

when you finally stepped out of the store, bags in hand, the market had transformed in your absence. the stalls were set up, bustling with energy as vendors finished last-minute preparations. the smell of grilled meat and fried snacks filled the air, mixing with the hum of chatter as students and visitors began to trickle in. you walked slowly, taking in the scene as you made your way back. bright banners fluttered in the breeze, colorful displays lining the path, but your attention was pulled elsewhere.

your gaze landed on your group, specifically johnny, standing at the center of it all, laughing with that familiar, easy smile. he stood taller than the rest, always the anchor of the group, but it wasn’t just his height that drew your eyes today. something else caught your attention—the two girls standing in front of him, both smiling brightly, flirting in a way that made your stomach twist uncomfortably.

this was nothing new. johnny had always been popular, his laid-back demeanor and quiet charm drawing people in. but today, something felt different. it wasn’t just their presence that bothered you. it was the way your chest tightened at the sight of him, his jacket off for the first time in a long while, his tattoo partially exposed. the ink was dark against his skin, catching the light as the girls leaned in, clearly captivated.

you scoffed, pulling the bag higher onto your shoulder as you watched the scene unfold. one of the girls made a move—too bold for her own good—and you could see the subtle shift in johnny’s expression, the moment he let her down easy, polite but distant. they exchanged eye rolls before walking away, defeated, and you couldn’t help but smirk. “what a show,” you teased as you approached him, your tone light but pointed. “you’re quite the catch now that you’re inked up.”

johnny rolled his eyes, though a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he made room for you beside him. “what’s in the bag? what’d you get me?” he asked, his voice casual, though there was an edge of curiosity beneath it. you grinned, pulling out two cans of beer and holding them up triumphantly. his eyes widened for a second before he groaned, pushing your hands back toward the bag.

“shit, put that away,” he muttered, his tone a mix of exasperation and amusement. “you psycho. all you do is drink.” you let out a dramatic sigh, slipping the cans back into the bag. “you’re no fun,” you pouted, kicking your legs up and resting them across his lap. his body tensed under the sudden contact, though you didn’t notice, too distracted by the scene unfolding in front of you.

your eyes landed on jaehyun, dressed in traditional japanese clothing by one of the food stalls, his hands pressed together in a namaste gesture as he spoke to a customer. you burst out laughing, unable to keep it in.

“what the hell is he doing? namaste,” you mocked, mimicking the gesture as you stifled another laugh. “i should start using that.” johnny chuckled beside you, pressing his palms together in imitation. “what would you ever use it for?” he asked through his laughter.

you turned to him, still laughing, but your breath caught when your eyes met his. there was something in the way he looked at you, something that made the world feel smaller, quieter. the noise of the market faded into the background, leaving only the two of you in that moment. it didn’t last long, just a brief flicker of something unspoken. but it was long enough for you to feel your heart skip, a sudden jolt you couldn’t explain. and for the first time in a long while, you wondered why being around johnny made you feel this way. because you knew—it wasn’t just about the tattoo.

just as you pulled out the can of beer you’d been craving all afternoon, a familiar figure appeared out of the corner of your eye. your professor, her sharp eyes sweeping the market, walked toward you with a faint smile playing on her lips. she settled herself on the steps above, overlooking the both of you. you straightened up slightly, exchanging quick, sheepish glances with johnny as you greeted her. “well, well,” she said, folding her hands neatly in her lap, “enjoying the festivities?”

you both nodded, doing your best to appear composed despite the weariness clinging to you like a second skin. the professor’s gaze drifted across the market, her eyes landing on jaehyun, who was still stationed at his stall, gracefully bowing to another customer, his outfit swaying lightly in the breeze. “jeong jaehyun, right?” she asked, her voice cutting through the soft hum of the crowd. you both nodded in unison. “that’s him,” you confirmed.

a small smile tugged at her lips. “i remember him. he’s good at what he does.” neither of you responded immediately, unsure if there was more to the statement. you exchanged a glance with johnny, who, true to form, remained silent, staring at the ground as though it held the answers to all of life’s questions.

then, the professor turned her attention fully to the two of you, her eyes glinting with a curiosity you hadn’t anticipated. her tone softened, almost as though she was asking something of little consequence. “are you two dating?” the question hung in the air, far heavier than it should have been. you barely had time to react before johnny tensed beside you, his gaze fixed stubbornly on the floor. he said nothing. the silence stretched, becoming more uncomfortable by the second.

you broke it with a laugh, the kind of laugh that bubbled up naturally, as if the whole notion were ridiculous. “absolutely not. never ever ever ever,” you said, chuckling through your words. but the professor didn’t seem convinced. she raised a brow, her smile growing ever so slightly. “why not? kids like you always end up getting together.”

her words felt oddly deliberate, and you could sense johnny beside you wishing for the conversation to be over. anything to stop your amused laughter and the strange, lingering feeling the question left behind. you shook your head, still grinning. “we’re the exception, don’t worry,” you assured her, your tone light, though you noticed johnny shift slightly beside you, as though the whole conversation had put him on edge.

the professor let out a soft hum of acknowledgment, clearly unconvinced but willing to drop it for now. she rose to her feet, brushing off her skirt with a practiced motion. “i’ll be off then,” she said, glancing at both of you. “don’t cause any trouble—and make sure to clean up after.” you both nodded in response, watching her walk away, the air still thick with the weight of her question. the moment she was out of sight, you leaned back against johnny’s shoulder with a dramatic sigh, your legs still draped over his lap as you fished another beer out of the bag.

without missing a beat, you cracked the can open with a satisfied exhale, but before you could even take a sip, Johnny’s hand shot out, snatching it from you with ease. you let out a whine of protest. “no, no,” he teased, raising the can to his lips as he took a swig. “i’m sorry, we don’t serve alcohol here.” you glared at him, snatching the can back with a huff. “let me live,” you groaned, bringing the can to your lips and finally taking a sip, savoring the cold bitterness as it slid down your throat.

johnny shook his head in disbelief, his lips twitching with amusement. “is all you do drink?” he asked, his voice laced with mock exasperation. “aren’t you gonna drink at the after-party tonight anyway?” you waved him off with a dismissive hand, not in the mood for his nagging. “you nag me more than my mom does. it’s heartbreaking,” you said dramatically, your gaze wandering up to the sky, watching the soft hues of the evening begin to deepen.

johnny rolled his eyes, though there was a hint of fondness in the gesture. “whatever, dude. just know i’m not gonna carry your ass back home.” you chuckled softly, closing your eyes for a moment as the weight of the day finally started to catch up to you. you knew how these nights went—the drinking, the laughter, the inevitable crash. and yet, you couldn’t help but grin as you leaned further into him, completely unbothered.

johnny wished, more than anything, that he had signed some kind of contract earlier that day—one that would have absolved him of the responsibility of carrying your drunk, disorderly self. this had happened so many times before, but this time felt different. you had gone too far. again.

the night had stretched long past its welcome, the bars closing one by one, until the last stragglers stumbled out into the streets. most of the group had already gone home, leaving johnny with the burden of getting you on your feet. you sat slumped on the curb, outside the entrance of the bar, refusing to move. strangers walked by, some giving curious glances, but most too busy with their own drunken states to notice.

johnny stood a few feet away, his hands shoved deep into his pockets, staring at you with a mix of amusement and exasperation. you were making a scene, but you didn’t care. you never cared when you reached this point. “hey, let's go. come on,” he said, his voice laced with tired patience as he approached. “everyone’s gone already.” he nudged your shoulder lightly with his foot, but all you did was groan in response.

when it became clear that words weren’t going to work, he crouched down behind you, his body close enough that you could feel the heat radiating off him. his hands rested on your shoulders, and you could smell the faint trace of cologne lingering in the fabric of his jacket. it was a smell you had grown accustomed to, yet tonight, with the alcohol swimming in your veins, it seemed stronger, more distracting.

“i’m gonna leave without you, you need to get a hold of yourself,” he muttered, though he knew it was a hollow threat. johnny wasn’t going to leave you behind. he never did. you didn’t respond, too caught up in the sensation of his presence behind you—his breath warm against the back of your neck, his hands steady and sure. the world was a blur, but somehow, the closeness of him was the one thing that cut through the haze. you tilted your head back against his arm, your eyes half-lidded as you looked up at him.

“do you know what time it is? we gotta go, man,” he said again, his voice breaking the silence that had settled between you. but you didn’t answer. you just stared at him, catching the flicker of nerves in his eyes as he held your gaze. for a second, he seemed caught off guard, the usually calm and collected johnny looking at you as if he didn’t know what to do next. then, without thinking—because thinking was far beyond you now—your finger flew up to press against his lips, silencing whatever words were about to tumble out of his mouth.

“just shut up,” you slurred, your finger still resting gently against his lips. his eyes widened in shock, his whole body freezing as the world around him seemed to stop. he stared at you, stunned, his mind racing to catch up to what was happening. your words hung heavy in the air, their weight sinking into his chest. “i never noticed before,” you mumbled, your voice low and slurred, “but you’re handsome up close.”

that was it. the world tilted slightly, the alcohol and the intimacy of the moment crashing together in his head like waves against the shore. johnny’s heart was pounding in his chest, each beat louder than the last, his skin burning from the heat of the situation, from the way your finger still lingered against his lips. your finger slowly fell away, but the space it left behind was almost unbearable. before he could fully process it, before he could even think of what to do, you grabbed the back of his head, your fingers threading through his hair as you pulled him down. and then, your lips were on his.

the kiss was messy, uncoordinated, a clash of warmth and alcohol-fueled impulsiveness. johnny’s brain screamed at him to react, to pull away, but his body refused to listen. he was too stunned to do anything but sit there, eyes wide, breath caught in his throat, as you pressed into him, your lips soft against his. it was a sensation he hadn’t expected—hadn’t even allowed himself to imagine. when you finally pulled away, leaving a cold void between you, your eyes met his, heavy-lidded and searching. for a moment, neither of you moved, the tension between you thick and electric.

then, as if the shock had worn off, johnny’s hand reached out, pulling you back in. this time, he wasn’t frozen. his lips found yours again, and this time, they moved in sync with yours, each movement slow and deliberate. it was nothing like the first kiss—this one was softer, deeper. johnny’s hand cradled the back of your head as he kissed you again, his mind no longer racing, no longer trying to make sense of what was happening. all he knew was the taste of your lips, the warmth of your skin, and the way the world seemed to shrink down to just the two of you, sitting on a curb in the middle of the night.

he was completely, utterly lost. he was lost in it, in you, in the sensation of you. he was lost in the way you milked him dry, giving him the perfect view of your tits bouncing in his face as you pressed your palms against the wall in front of you, leaning forward with your back arched as you met his pace with swift, harsh bounces with a cigarette in your mouth. he was lost in the way you moaned his name, begging him to go harder, faster before whispering sweet nothings into his ear to push him off the edge. “tearing my pussy open, fuck,” you purred, your breath hot against his ear as the tip of your tongue danced alongside his earlobe, voice muffled with the filter between your lips. “fuck me so good, gonna make me squirt all over this dick.”

he was absolutely lost in it, letting himself absorb the sheer filth of it all. he allowed himself those few minutes of escape, of temporary pleasure. his hands groped the flesh of your tits, squeezing the soft skin and probing at your sensitive nipples. his mind was a mess as his hands slid down your waist before stopping at your hips, cupping your ass. he leaned forward to take your tit into his mouth, letting the other one collide with his cheek as he sucked around your nipple. his hands spanked the soft of your ass, his thumb coming down to probe at your tight, sensitive asshole. he’d never fully push it in, he’d just keep it there long enough to hear you moan some more, to feel you clench around nothing but his fingernail.

“you’re so pretty,” the praise would always come through before johnny could stop himself, the words leaving a bitter aftertaste as they passed his lips. he hated himself for speaking his thoughts aloud, even if it wasn’t intentional. he hated himself even more when you didn’t respond, flashing him a mere smile in response. you were too lost in what he had to offer, your cunt clenching around his dick as you leaned forward to press your lips to his. you placed a single kiss to his lips, enough to give him a taste of the smoke. you pulled away to press the filter to his lips, watching with hungry eyes as he took a long drag.

his favorite part seemed to be kissing you. it felt more intimate than the sex itself. he didn’t hesitate to kiss you back, he knew he’d give in one way or another. his lips clashed with yours, melting against them as he cupped your cheek. he exhaled, blowing the smoke into your mouth as his tongue traced your bottom lip. you kissed him with desire, hunger, all the while he kissed you as if you were fragile, like you were on the verge of breaking. “your dick’s so fucking big, ’m close,” you whined, breaking the kiss to press your forehead against his.

he was just as close, thrusting upwards to match your speed. he practically felt his eyes roll into the back of his head as you tightened around his dick, your thighs slick with your juices and spread to give him the perfect view of your cunt swallowing him whole. you were greedy, but you were tempting, so he let you have him. he wanted more than what you were offering him, but he knew his chances were less than slim. the two of you had allowed yourselves to break the first rule of friendship between men and women, and he had no interest in knowing what would happen the next morning. in fact, he wasn’t even thinking about it. the alcohol had absorbed his mind so nicely that he was unable to focus on anything but you, you and you.

“cum inside me,” you exhaled, your hair plastered to your forehead with sweat. you had never looked more tempting, riding his dick with a cigarette limp between your lips, tits shaking with every thrust he had to offer. “know you want to, johnny.” of course he wanted to, who wouldn’t? he wrapped his arms around your waist to pull you in once more as his balls slapped against your ass, the angle allowing him to hit all the right spots.

your best friend groaned in your ear, the sound of his raspy voice shooting straight through your core as you felt the coil in your stomach tighten. you could practically feel him coming up your ribcage as he held you close, pounding into your pussy with all his might. the cigarette trembled between your fingers and, soon enough, you found yourself tossing it aside, your limbs too numb to hold onto anything but the weight of your lust. you tried to reassure yourself that this was no different fro. your usual activities, that it wouldn’t strain your friendship. you wanted to believe it wouldn’t make things weird.

“i’m gonna—” johnny cut himself off with a grunt, his fingers wrapping around the flesh of your hips as he lifted himself once more, filling your pussy to the brim with a loud moan. he let go, his cock throbbing with your walls clenching around it as he came inside you, shooting thick ropes of sticky white into you. it felt too good, all of it. he loved how warm you were, how tight you felt, how he felt like he was breaking you with nothing but the size of his cock. the way you bit down on his tatted shoulder only confirmed his thought.

you moaned at the feeling of his hot cum seeping into your cunt, the scent of smoke lingering in his mouth as you kissed him once more. then, you felt yourself fall apart. you came just as hard, your vision going blurry as you clenched around his softening cock, pussy tightening around it as it spasmed some more, as if to tell you that you had milked it dry once again. you fell apart as you leaned back onto your elbows, spreading your legs farther apart to give johnny one last peek. he saw it, the way his cock slipped out of you and pushed against your slit, oozing with cum he didn’t even know he had in him. he watched the way your cunt throbbed, some of his seed spilling out as you did so. his cock felt hot against your naked thigh, threatening to harden a second time. the opportunity never came, unfortunately, as the exhaustion had a way of overpowering the two of you.

the morning unfolded in a muted haze, each moment stretching out painfully as you navigated through the aftermath of the night before. the air felt heavy, and every sound seemed amplified in the silence of your room. you stood in the shower, the hot water cascading over you, but all it did was intensify the flood of thoughts racing through your mind. “how could you have slept with him?” you cursed yourself repeatedly, the echo of your own voice drowned by the rush of water. “of all people—your best friend. you’ve really fucked this one up.”

you scrubbed at your skin as if trying to wash away the shame and confusion that clung to you, but it was no use. the image of johnny’s euphoric expression, the warmth of his breath against your lips, and the weight of his body pressing into yours lingered like an unwanted tattoo etched in your mind. you knew he must have hated you for what had happened; there was no other explanation.

you paced back and forth in your room, drying your hair with one hand while the other fiddled with your towel. “he’s definitely gonna end our friendship,” you muttered, the words tasting bitter on your tongue. “can’t let that happen. i won’t.” determination flooded your veins, pushing back the rising tide of despair. you had to face him. you couldn’t let this ruin everything you had built together.

finally, after what felt like an eternity of agonizing over every possible outcome, you stepped back into the shared space. the sunlight streamed in through the window, illuminating the room in a soft glow, but the beauty of it all was lost on you. johnny was sitting in front of the mirror, hands clasped in his lap, his gaze locked on his reflection. what had he done?

the sight of him sent a pang of regret through your chest, and before you could gather your thoughts, you tripped over the edge of the doorframe, stumbling into the room. a loud clatter echoed through the quiet, and you hissed in pain as you hit the floor. “are you okay?” his voice cut through the silence, concern lacing his tone as he turned to face you.

“oh, yeah. i’m good,” you replied, forcing a nervous laugh as you pushed yourself back to your feet, trying to brush off the embarrassment. but his serious demeanor sent a wave of unease through you. “could we talk for a bit?” his tone was soft yet edged with an underlying tension, and you nodded quietly.

the silence stretched uncomfortably, wrapping around you like a thick fog. you let out a nervous laugh, desperate to break the ice. “woah, i must have alcohol-related dementia, dude,” you said, feigning concern as you tapped your head. “i don’t remember anything, so maybe—” but he cut you off, his voice now colder, sharper. “what? it was all a mistake?”

you froze, the gravity of his words sinking in. you couldn’t let this ruin everything. “yeah, we both made a mistake. we were drunk, right?” your voice was steady, but doubt crept in as you saw something shift in his expression—something dark, something that made you wish you could take back your words. he pulled his shirt over his head, an action so mundane that it sent your heart racing with a different kind of confusion. “since we made a mistake, nothing has to change between us. don’t you think?” the question hung in the air, but he offered no response.

“i'm leaving,” he finally said, his tone abrupt, the finality of it sending a chill through you. you had never seen him like this—so distant, so cold, and the sight of it felt like a knife twisting in your gut. “wait!” you called out, desperation spilling into your voice, but it was too late. he stormed out, slamming the door shut behind him with a resounding thud that echoed in the stillness of the room.

you stared at the closed door, your heart sinking. “shit, dammit. what have i done?” you muttered, the words barely above a whisper as you leaned your head against the wall, the coolness of it doing little to ease the warmth creeping to your cheeks. the panic set in, swirling in your chest like a storm. you were totally, utterly screwed.

the warm, fragrant steam wafting from the bowl of hangover soup enveloped you as you sat in the cozy little restaurant, seeking solace in its rich, comforting broth. each spoonful felt like a balm for your weary soul, a temporary reprieve from the relentless pounding in your head. you stared into the bowl, your mind drifting through the hazy remnants of the previous night, replaying every moment like a film stuck on repeat. just as you began to find some peace within the familiar flavors, the tranquility shattered with the entrance of a familiar figure.

“jeong jaehyun?” you scoffed, catching a glimpse of him as he strolled by, all confidence and charm, his laughter echoing softly as he greeted someone on the other side of the room. you couldn’t help but chuckle to yourself, “namaste,” you mumbled, amused by the ridiculousness of it all. yet, as you continued eating, your smile faded, quickly replaced by the weight of your earlier encounter with johnny.

you returned to your soup, lost in your thoughts, when another figure captured your attention. this time, the atmosphere shifted as johnny strolled in, his expression unreadable. your heart raced as he plopped down across from you, and you nearly choked on your soup. for a moment, neither of you spoke. the silence stretched, thick and tense, as if the air itself was waiting with bated breath. then, finally, he broke it. “last night wasn’t a mistake for me,” he admitted, his voice steady but tinged with something deeper, something that sent a jolt through you.

you blinked, disbelief washing over your features. “and things won’t be the same for me, not anymore,” he continued, and your stomach twisted as you processed his words. “i don’t think i can just pretend it didn’t happen.” your eyes fluttered shut, and you exhaled an exasperated sigh. couldn’t he see how complicated this was? you had been careful, guarded—emotions were messy, and you didn’t want to get caught in the web of your own heart. “so, what’s gonna happen now?” you asked, setting your spoon down with a clink that echoed in the stillness between you.

“i don’t think i can be your friend now,” he stated, and with each word, you felt the reality of the situation sink in like a heavy stone. your eyes widened in realization, shock flooding through you. “i want you to be my girlfriend,” he said, his voice steady but vulnerable, as if he were laying bare his soul on the table between you.

stunned, you stared at him, mouth slightly agape. “you want us to date just because we slept together once?” you scoffed, incredulity bubbling to the surface. “do you even like me?” his silence was a heavy weight, pressing down on both of you. yes, johnny so desperately wanted to say, yes. but he knew better than to voice it; the fear of rejection loomed larger than his desire to confess.

“see, you can’t even answer that,” you said, your tone softening as the initial shock began to subside, replaced by something heavier—an aching uncertainty. he sighed, his shoulders slumping as if the weight of the world rested upon them. “okay,” he conceded, voice quiet but resolute. “if that’s how you feel, i’ll take care of my feelings.” the finality of his words hung in the air like a thread, ready to snap. but without another glance, he stood up, his chair scraping against the floor with a painful sound.

“what? wait!” you called out, desperation coloring your voice. you wanted to know what was next, where this left you both. but your plea echoed unanswered, only drawing the attention of the nearby diners, their curious gazes flicking toward the two of you. johnny didn’t stop; he was already gone, leaving you alone amidst the clamor of the restaurant. you had opened pandora’s box the moment you kissed him, and now, everything was unraveling.

the hangover that had clung to you since morning seemed to dissolve as the news of jaehyun treating the group to pizza settled in. your appetite, long dormant, returned in full force, and despite the swirling confusion in your mind, the thought of warm, cheesy pizza made your stomach growl. but with that bit of good news came an unwelcome thread of tension—your thoughts immediately jumped to jaehyun, and the secret you’d let slip a few nights before. had someone told him? did he know?

by the time you and the others arrived at the restaurant, the question still haunted you, but you masked it with a neutral smile as you slid into the seat next to jaehyun. he gave you a polite smile, the kind that was effortlessly charming but hard to read. “hey, haven’t seen you in a while,” he greeted, his tone light but pointed.

“yeah, could say the same,” you responded, a nervous smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. the memory of last night’s slip-up echoed in your mind, but before either of you could dive deeper into the conversation, joohyun and seulgi appeared at the table, their presence cutting through the awkwardness. “thanks again, jae,” seulgi chimed, and jaehyun just nodded in his easygoing way. you almost felt a sense of relief, but it was fleeting.

mark and jaehee showed up shortly after, their energy infectiously bright as they took their seats. you turned to greet them, but the moment you did, your heart stopped. johnny was walking with them, and the second you caught sight of him, everything inside you froze. instinctively, you whipped back around, heart pounding in your chest as you tried to compose yourself. but it was impossible to ignore the magnetic pull of his presence; your eyes found his across the table, and suddenly, everything else faded into the background. it was silent and unbearably awkward. the look in his eyes was unreadable, but you couldn’t seem to tear yourself away.

“is it just me or did it just get cold in here?” mark asked with a shiver, his innocent comment cutting through the palpable tension. “you’re totally right, i felt a chill,” jaehee added, throwing a knowing glance around the table. jaehyun shot a quick look between you and johnny, but before he could say anything, the pizza arrived, mercifully shifting the mood. the mixed array of seafood, vegetables, and meat was laid out before you, and you seized the opportunity to break the moment, reaching for a slice—though all you did was pluck a piece of shrimp from it, trying to distract yourself.

“you liar, you said you were on a diet,” joohyun teased, breaking the tension with a playful grin. you waved the shrimp in her face with a smile of your own. “obviously, that’s why i’m only going for the shrimp,” you quipped, trying to ease the growing discomfort in your chest. but just as you thought you might be able to relax, jaehyun’s voice pulled your attention.

“a diet? why, are you seeing someone?” his question was innocent enough, but it hit you square in the chest, your heart sinking as you forced out a laugh. “as if,” you replied, the smile slipping from your face as you caught a glimpse of johnny across the table. “you guys know me better than that.” the words barely left your lips when you noticed the way johnny’s expression fell. his face shifted, and for a brief moment, something in you ached at the sight. but before you could dwell on it, mark, oblivious to the growing tension, slapped his chest dramatically as if struck by a revelation.

“now that we’re talking about it,” he began, addressing johnny with a grin. “how would you like to go on a blind date?” a blind date? you nearly choked on the words as they hit you, your surprise mirrored by johnny’s reaction. it was written all over your face as you watched his expression shift, his attention now fully on mark. “with who?” he asked, his voice calm, but you could sense the curiosity laced within it.

mark leaned in, his smile broadening as he wrapped an arm around johnny’s shoulders. “with my friend. she saw a picture of us and is interested in meeting you.” he sounded excited, unaware of the tightening knot forming in your chest. you noticed Joohyun casting a knowing glance your way, her smirk unmistakable. and though you tried to brush it off, the sting was there, sharp and cutting. johnny seemed genuinely intrigued, and for reasons you couldn’t quite explain, it made something inside you twist painfully. the urge to speak up was overwhelming.

“tell your friend,” you interrupted, your voice steady but betraying your inner turmoil, “that seeing any guy just because she’s lonely won’t end well for her. lonely people will still be lonely even if they date.” the second the words slipped out, you regretted them. the entire table fell silent, all eyes turning toward you, even johnny’s. the weight of your own statement hung in the air, thick and uncomfortable. his gaze, cool and unwavering, pierced through you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look away. his next words were measured, deliberate, as if meant just for you.

“tell your friend,” he began, his voice low, eyes still locked on yours, “that i’m more than interested.” the table erupted into cheers, mark and jaehee clapping in excitement, but you couldn’t bring yourself to join them. the bitter taste of jealousy lingered in your mouth, and though you had no right to feel this way, the emotions churned violently within you. you should’ve been happy for him, for his chance to move on. but as you sat there, staring at him, all you could think about was the shift that had occurred between you. and worse, the possibility that you had lost him for good.

you had sworn you’d keep your mind off johnny tonight, but as the hours dragged on, your resolve crumbled. the stupid dating app you relied on felt more pointless than ever, but it was the only distraction you had. someone named doyoung had caught your attention—well, enough to pull you through another empty evening. his messages were blunt, devoid of charm, but that suited you fine tonight. you didn’t have the energy for anything more. you didn’t want to feel.

“so, should we have a drink first?” his voice barely registered, and frankly, you weren’t even sure his name was doyoung. you were already too tired to care. “or should we just get a place to fuck?” the crudeness of his words slid over you like rainwater. you barely flinched. “i don’t know, whatever you want,” you replied, your tone flat, uninterested. everything around you felt muted, dull. the walk to the bar had been just as cold as your mood, and the cool night air did nothing to clear your head.

you didn’t catch most of what doyoung said next, his voice dissolving into the background as your attention shifted. it wasn’t the open bar that caught your eye—it was the people inside. or rather, him. johnny. and he wasn’t alone.

your heart plummeted at the sight of him, seated at a table with a girl who was undeniably pretty. too pretty. you knew exactly who she was—the blind date mark had set up, the girl who had shown interest in johnny. she was laughing at something he said, leaning in closer, her eyes wide and animated, and the worst part? the smile on johnny’s face. that smile, the one you thought was reserved for moments only the two of you shared. the sight of it on his face while he sat next to her made your stomach churn.

“you know what? let’s drink here,” you blurted out, cutting doyoung off mid-sentence, not even giving him time to process the change in plans. before he could say anything, you grabbed him by the sleeve and pulled him toward the entrance, your steps quick and impulsive. embarrassment threatened to flood your chest, but you shoved it aside. how could you care about something like that when johnny was right there with someone else?

you pushed your way through the door, the air inside warm compared to the biting cold of the night. the bar was lit, cozy in a way that didn’t match the knot of tension building in your gut. without hesitating, you yanked out a chair and sat down at the table right beside johnny and his date. you could feel doyoung lingering behind you, confused but compliant, sitting down awkwardly.

the girl didn’t seem to notice, too wrapped up in whatever she was saying to johnny, but he noticed. the moment he saw you, his body tensed, his hand pausing mid-motion, nearly causing him to choke on his drink. you caught the subtle widening of his eyes, the faltering of his smile, and it made your pulse race. “are you alright?” the girl asked him, concerned, and to your horror, she gently reached over to wipe his mouth with a napkin. you felt something in you snap. the intimacy of the gesture, the way she doted on him so casually, it made your blood simmer with a slow burn you couldn’t ignore.

johnny mumbled, “yeah, i’m fine,” but his eyes never left yours. there was a tension there, something hanging heavy in the space between you, and for a moment, the rest of the world seemed to blur out of focus. doyoung was saying something next to you, but you couldn’t hear him. all you could do was watch johnny, and he watched you right back. the girl turned back to her drink, oblivious to the silent exchange happening between you and her date. you couldn’t stand it any longer. the weight of it all—his new date, the memory of the night you shared, the way he still looked at you like nothing had changed, yet everything had—it was unbearable.

“on second thought,” you said, standing up abruptly, “let’s drink somewhere else.” your voice came out harsher than you intended, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. the words were sharp, and the moment was suffocating. doyoung didn’t argue. he didn’t have to. the look on johnny’s face told you everything you needed to know—and the look you gave him in return? it spoke volumes. but neither of you said a word. Instead, you turned on your heel and walked out, the cold air hitting your face as you left the bar behind, but the tension from inside followed.

you didn’t even sleep with doyoung that night. not that you ever intended to, not really. the weight of everything had sunk too deep in your bones, leaving you tired and restless at the same time. you lied, telling him you had a headache, watching as disappointment briefly flashed across his face before he nodded. the night fizzled out into nothing, and though you managed to fall asleep, it was fitful, and the morning came too soon.

when you woke, the weight of last night still clung to you like a second skin. the frustration hadn’t faded; it had only settled deeper. you dragged yourself through your routine, still fed up, still over it all, and that mood followed you to your classes. normally, you’d exchange greetings or at least acknowledge the smiles thrown your way, but today you couldn’t be bothered. you brushed past them, head down, the clamor of the hallways nothing but a blur of voices.

in the classroom, you practically collapsed into your chair with a heavy sigh, dropping your bag beside you. you closed your eyes, hoping for just a moment of peace. “hey, what’s up with you?” jaehee’s familiar voice cut through your thoughts. he flicked a strand of your hair with a teasing smile, always too perceptive for his own good. “don’t even,” you groaned, swatting his hand away lazily. “too early for your bullshit.”

he chuckled, but before he could say anything more, mark burst into the room, his excitement radiating from him like a shot of caffeine. “guys, guys, guys! this is so big,” he practically shouted, breathless as he skidded to a halt by your desk. his energy was contagious, but you were too far gone to care.

you tried to focus on his words, but it was impossible, especially when johnny followed right behind him. his presence drew your attention like a magnet, even if you wanted to ignore it. he strolled in casually, but when his eyes met yours, they immediately flickered away, his head dropping low as if he didn’t want to be seen. it stung, more than you cared to admit, and you scoffed under your breath. jaehee was already leaning forward, eager for whatever mark had to say. “what? what now?” he asked, practically vibrating with curiosity.

mark pulled up a chair, sliding into the space between you and jaehee, his eyes darting around like he was about to reveal some top-secret information. “jaehyun totally knows we know his big secret,” he whispered, glancing dramatically between you and jaehee. you barely listened, your attention still on johnny. he wasn’t looking at you anymore, but you felt the tension hanging in the air between you like a tightrope about to snap. every little gesture, every glance was loud in its silence.

jaehee let out an exaggerated sigh, completely absorbed in the gossip. “his sex scandal is the best thing i’ve heard all year,” he said with a satisfied grin, turning to you with his hands pressed together the same way jaehyun had. “namaste, (y/n).” you just rolled your eyes, too exhausted to even respond. the scandal, jaehyun, all of it seemed so trivial now compared to the mess you’d tangled yourself in.

before you could even think of something to say, johnny’s voice sliced through the conversation like ice. “sorry to interrupt your gossip circle, but we should hurry up with the art venue.” jaehee and mark murmured in agreement, but you weren’t finished. your frustration boiled over, and before you could stop yourself, you scoffed aloud. “must be in a big hurry to go on a date.”

you hadn’t meant for it to be heard. you thought it was a mutter, a private sting of bitterness for your own ears only. but no. the second the words left your mouth, you knew you’d made a mistake. the room went still, and you felt johnny’s gaze snap to you. his look was hard, challenging, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly as if daring you to say more. “yeah, how’d you know?” his voice was sharp, almost condescending, the words cutting through the tension like a blade.

the sarcasm stung, and you couldn’t help yourself. “asshole,” you muttered under your breath, just loud enough for him to hear, before standing abruptly, slinging your bag over your shoulder. you didn’t bother waiting for a response, didn’t care to see the reactions from mark or jaehee. you just needed to get out of there. you stormed out, the noise of the room already behind you, but their voices still echoed in your mind. you knew they’d talk about it. you knew they’d wonder what had gotten into you, what had caused the sharpness between you and johnny. but you didn’t care. you were done listening, done pretending.

walking down the street during your break, the weight of the morning still clung to you. the frustration, the sleeplessness—it all pressed down, leaving you exasperated, thirsty, and just done with everything. you passed cafes and restaurants, each one tempting you with the promise of air-conditioning and iced drinks. but it wasn’t until you spotted a small café, its glass window gleaming in the afternoon light, that something finally caught your eye.

it wasn’t the café itself or the ice cream shop connected to it that made you stop mid-step. no, it was the familiar figure inside that pulled you to a halt, your heart sinking instantly. “johnny?” you murmured under your breath, squinting as if that would somehow change the reality of what you were seeing.

you took a step closer to the window, hoping, praying even, that maybe you were mistaken. but of course, you weren’t. it was him. and, of course, he wasn’t alone. that same girl was sitting across from him, leaning in close as they talked, laughing and eating ice cream together like it was the most normal thing in the world.

a bitter laugh escaped you, low and incredulous. “no fucking way,” you whispered to yourself, eyes narrowing. the sight of johnny, with her, at a café, chatting and laughing, was already enough to twist a knot of irritation in your chest. but it wasn’t just that. no, it was what he was holding in his hand that made the blood rush to your ears.

you couldn’t believe it. the ice cream in his hand, the one he was eating so casually, was the exact flavor that had once united the two of you in disgust. mint chocolate. that flavor. you had talked about it with him, joked about how it tasted like toothpaste, how neither of you could stand it. and now, there he was, happily eating it with her, like none of that mattered anymore. “that son of a bitch,” you muttered, the disbelief turning quickly to anger. you could feel your heart pounding, a bitter taste creeping up your throat. you remembered the day like it had just happened.

it was a few months back, during a group hangout. seulgi had been ordering ice cream for everyone, scrolling through the options on her phone. when johnny walked in, you asked him what flavor he wanted. he slid into the seat beside you as seulgi mentioned getting mint chocolate as her third scoop. both you and johnny had shot her the same look of disgust, so perfectly in sync that seulgi had paused, confused. “what?” she asked, looking between the two of you.

“that’s disgusting,” you had said, your voice filled with mock horror. “yeah, you like eating toothpaste or something?” johnny had added, his face twisted in the same playful revulsion. you both shared a knowing look then, a moment of perfect camaraderie as you dapped each other up, leaving seulgi baffled. it had been one of those little moments that cemented your connection, a silly joke that felt like yours alone.

and now, that same connection felt like it was slipping through your fingers. there he was, eating her ice cream, laughing with her. the same johnny who had once called mint chocolate “toothpaste” now sat across from someone else, seemingly oblivious to everything you had shared. you didn’t want to watch anymore. you had seen enough. you had felt enough. with a bitter scoff, you turned away from the window, your heart pounding with something that felt all too much like betrayal. you didn’t know why it hurt so much—it was just ice cream, just a stupid flavor. but it wasn’t, not really. it was the principle of it, the small betrayal of something that had once made sense between you two, now shattered.

you had pushed yourself over the edge. the drinks had blurred into each other, one after the next, until all you could think about was johnny—his touch, his warmth, the way his smile used to light up his entire face. the memory of him tugged at your mind, shifting from simple thoughts to something more intimate: the scent of his skin, the taste of his kiss, the way his eyes used to lock with yours, as if telling you something without saying a word. you remembered the look he gave you, the one that seemed to say “i love you,” and how you had let it all slip away so easily.

that was why you were now slumped over outside the bar, unable to pull yourself together, the world spinning wildly around you. your body felt heavy, sluggish, and somewhere in the background, you heard mark’s voice, too enthusiastic for the state you were in. “should we go for more drinks?” he asked, but his suggestion was met with disapproval. “we gotta get (y/n) up,” jaehee responded, his voice dripping with concern. everyone seemed to be murmuring in agreement, encouraging you, nudging you to pull yourself together. but you couldn’t. not when johnny consumed your every thought.

while you struggled to stay coherent, johnny was at home, leaning against the railing of his balcony, a can of beer in his hand. the night air was cool, refreshing, but it did nothing to clear the turmoil in his mind. he drank in silence, each sip a reminder of you—of how complicated things had gotten, of how much you confused him, and yet, how much he still cared. his phone buzzed, the screen lighting up with mark’s name. he sighed, half-hoping it would be you on the other end.

“what is it?” johnny answered, the weariness in his voice clear. “yo, you know where (y/n) lives, don’t you? tell me her address,” mark slurred, the telltale signs of alcohol heavy in his voice.

“what do you need it for?” johnny asked, his concern sharpening. “she’s totally wasted, so i’m gonna call her a taxi,” mark explained, and johnny felt his entire body tense. in an instant, the fog of his own buzz dissipated. “i’ll be right there,” he cut in before mark could say anything else. “don’t call a cab. i’ll take care of her.” the call ended abruptly, leaving mark no time to argue.

johnny arrived shortly after in a cab of his own, pulling up just outside the bar. he could hear jaehee muttering something about how expensive the ride must have been, but johnny ignored it, his focus entirely on you. you, sitting on the curb, your hair a mess, your face flushed from too much alcohol, your shoulders slouched in defeat. “go home,” he told the others, his voice firm. “i’ll take care of her.” though hesitant, they eventually nodded, leaving you two alone in the quiet of the night.

“(y/n),” he said softly, nudging your boot with his foot. “come on, get up.” it took a moment, but something in his voice must have registered with you. with a deep, weary sigh, you pushed your hair out of your face and sat up. your gaze met his, and the world around you seemed to slow down. without a word, johnny slipped off his jacket, draping it over your lap. as you glanced at his tattoo, still visible under the dim streetlight, you felt a lump rise in your throat.

he crouched down in front of you and turned his back. “come on, get on,” he gestured, offering to carry you. but you didn’t move. you couldn’t. the second you tried, the tears began to fall, slipping down your cheeks faster than you could stop them. johnny turned immediately, eyes wide with panic. “what? are you crying?” his voice was almost gentle, but you couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“how could you do something like that to me, you asshole?” you cried, your words broken by sobs. johnny froze for a second before reaching out to wipe away your tears, but you pushed his hand away, shaking your head. “no, don’t touch me. i don’t wanna be anywhere near a liar like you,” you sniffled, your voice thick with pain.

johnny sighed heavily, clearly exhausted. "what did i do? you're too drunk to make sense right now." he turned his back to you again, insisting, “just get on my back.”

but instead, you swatted him, hard, making him wince in pain. "you're an ass," you cried out, your voice wavering with hurt. “what’s wrong with you?” he asked, rubbing his back.

“you said you hated mint chocolate,” you finally cracked, your voice a mess of frustration and tears. “all this time, i thought you hated it, but i guess you like her enough to like it, you asshole.” johnny blinked, clearly taken aback. “what?”

“and you said you wanted to go out with me,” you continued, choking on your sobs. “get lost. i refuse to talk to a guy who likes mint chocolate.” you covered your ears with your hands, trying to block him out. johnny crouched closer, his face softening as your sobs began to quiet.

“i didn’t eat it because of her,” he finally explained, his voice low. “i tried it because i heard it was good for insomnia. do you know how much trouble sleeping i’ve had because of you?” you were still stubborn, still fighting the truth. “that's bullshit. why would that be because of me?” you demanded.

his eyes softened even more as he met your gaze. “because,” he said quietly, “i can’t stop thinking about you.” for the first time in what felt like forever, you locked eyes with him, and everything else melted away. in his eyes, you saw everything—his confusion, his frustration, his longing. and in yours, he saw your hurt, your vulnerability, and everything you had been holding back. “you loser,” you sniffled, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. “how could you be hitting on me right now?”

and then, despite everything, he smiled. that same smile you remembered, the one that made your heart skip a beat. “come here,” he murmured, his hand reaching for your hair, pulling you gently toward him. you didn’t resist. the second his lips touched yours, everything else faded. you let him kiss you, and you kissed him back. the warmth of his mouth on yours was intoxicating, soft and slow, as if neither of you wanted the moment to end. when the kiss finally broke, johnny exhaled, his forehead resting against yours.

“don’t even think about,” he whispered, his breath warm against your skin, “calling this a mistake.” you nodded, still catching your breath. how could you? even as you felt the world spinning around you, even while you saw stars, you knew this was no mistake.

✧

a/n: this was so unserious lol i love nevertheless

[ncityprincess]

how johnny is as a boyfriend

minors do not interact

-*sighs dreamily* the Boyfriend of all Boyfriends

-i think johnny just loves love

-and he wouldn’t get in a relationship with just anyone

-he feels overcome with joy and happiness whenever he looks at you

-loves it when you get super excited or passionate about something

-you’re so endearing and beautiful in his eyes

-wants to build a comfortable life for the two of you

-he is attracted to strong and confident people

-loves someone who isn’t afraid to speak their mind

-bonus points if you’re witty and feisty

-loves playful banter

-if you’re short he’s gonna be annoying and purposely put things on the top shelf

-he finds it cute when you scold him (and he always ends up grabbing it for you anyway)

-you guys bond over your love of music

-dance parties in the middle of your living room are the norm

-he’s a dom in and out of the bedroom

-always makes sure you are well fed and hydrated

-watches over the two of you when you’re out in public

-let’s you be a passenger princess/prince

-you never have to worry about anything when you’re around him

-he’s another one that would be all about acts of service

-he’d rather show you how much he loves you rather than tell you

-he would help you study if you needed it, send lunch to your house if you said you didn’t eat yet

-he would even help your mom put together furniture or hang up pictures

-overall just wants to be of service to you

-and he’s also a really good dater

-like fancy restaurants and stuff yes

-but also creative dates like paint and sips, hiking, drive in movies

-loves to do spontaneous and fun things with you

-wants to do Life with you

-would be SO eager to introduce you to his family and friends

-he would want to bring you to social events with his friends

-he would also be sooooo gentle and patient with you :’)

-i’m absolutely projecting here but if you were ever feeling anxious or if you weren’t feeling your best he wouldn’t judge you at all

-he would ask how he can help you and move at your pace

-if you didn’t feel like working out for two months straight he wouldn’t say anything about it

-he genuinely cares for you and wants you to be happy

-makes you feel like the prettiest person in the world 🥰

-he would fantasize about the day you guys decide to start a family

-and you guys would absolutely brainstorm baby name ideas after several rounds of passionate sex

-click here to see how johnny would be in bed 🤭

[choiwonder]

HELLO NEIGHBOR . JOHNNY SUH

tw/cw ༝ 0.5k wc, smooth talker johnny, usage of pet names (sweetheart, baby), suggestive, he is so flirty it has me giggling and kicking my feet, making out. if you would like to make me happy just send me johnny fics & pics <333

neighbor! johnny that can be found, hanging out in the front yard, lengthy body glistening in the sun with shades over his eyes, resting on a beach chair with mark and yuta. he watches a moving truck enter the private community, parking in the driveway of the home directly next to his. curiosity peaked, it was a surprise to find you, a rather young looking individual, in a community filled with older ones, moving all your boxes into the house yourself.

neighbor! johnny who shares no hesitance in providing assistance, introducing himself. how could a cute little thing such as yourself be doing this all alone? with a flash of his smile, and a few words, johnny’s charm took its effect. he’s still got it. he’s such a good talker. every hour you spent putting your belongings inside, he’s engaging in conversation, making you laugh and wonder why are guys like this so rare to find? it’s the bare minimum, you tell yourself, forcing your heart and mind to ignore any rushed feelings that might arise for this man.

“what’s your name, sweetheart?” he grins, leaning against the frame of your door. the sun has set, yuta has left, mark had gone inside and all your belongings were safely stored.

he listens carefully, watching your lips move, repeating the name to himself a few times, “well, y/n, i wanna come over tomorrow to help with the rest of this, is that okay?”

neighbor! johnny that keeps his promise of coming over the next day, heading to you as soon as he got off work. you don’t question the absence of mark and yuta, secretly yearning for some time alone. he’ll get you a bottle of liquor he stole from work as a first souvenir for your home, encouraging that you have some together.

“wanna taste?” he’ll joke (not rlly), seething as he swallows and pointing to his lips. they’re lightly coated in the alcohol, resembling a gloss. only making them look more tempting to taste. yes, you think. you want to so so badly but fight every voice that tells you to do so and bite down on your bottom lip, shaking your head with a laugh.

neighbor! johnny who encourages you to succumb to your urges, trapping you in the corner of your kitchen. your back is pressed against the counter, breath rate on the rise as you could feel his body heat surround your space. it’s criminal how good he smells.

“come on, just a taste,” he’ll grin. stop. don’t make that face, “i promise i won’t bite, baby.” fuck it.

neighbor! johnny that finally gets to mold his lips against yours, one hand finding loose placement around your neck whilst the other digs under your shirt, squeezing desperately at the skin. it’s funny, really. how quick you’ve got him ready to touch you in ways that no other person has and how quick you’re whining under his lanky frame, making him wonder how long its been since someone has had you like this. his lips nibble up the skin of your jaw, reaching the sensitive skin of your ear, “let’s take this back to my place.”

© choiwonder ༝ do not copy, translate, modify or repost any of my work on any platform, or claim it as your own.

[z-jay08]

𝓙𝓸𝓱𝓷𝓷𝔂 𝓢𝓾𝓱 | 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓶𝓮 𝓗𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓮𝓻 𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓽 1

Pairing: Johnny Suh (bully/idol) x Y/N (nerd/fan) Word Count: 3,319 words (Total) Warning: NSFW, Physical Abuse, Masochism, Intercourse, Verbal Abuse, Smut, Posessiveness Genre: Age Gap, Bully nerd troupe, Fan idol troupe

Setting: Takes place in the inkigayo music show, backstage, Y/N is a foreigner who traveled to Korea to see a pre-recording show of NCT 127

Characters: Johnny, Y/N, Security Guard, Mark, NCT Member

(1/4)

Y/N: It's my first time going to a music show, I can't wait to meet see my fav idol Johnny up close in person

enters the inkigayo building

Y/N: Wow, I wonder where we go from here, there are so many people waiting

few hours pass by

Y/N: I never expected to wait here for so long, I kind of feel hungry

Y/N: I kind of feel stuffy here, I wonder if there is a restroom

Y/N: asks security when will they be done getting ready?

Security guard: Probably in another hour, why?

Y/N: I need to go use the restroom, which way is it?

Security guard: Exit from the backdoor and turn left then right, upstairs, you'll see the restrooms over there

Y/N: Alright, thank you so much

Y/N: I should quickly hurry to use the restroom before they come

runs, turns a left, right, upstairs? a left, right

Y/N: Hmm, I can't find it? I really need to go so bad.

sees restroom

Y/N: (Yes, I found it!)

quickly enters to a stall, sitting down the toilet before hearing another person walk by

Y/N: (Whew, I'm finally finished)

about to flush the toilet until hearing another person again coming by

Mark: I'm finished getting ready, get your ass out of here we're about to perform in like 45 minutes or so

Johnny: Relax, that's a lot of time, I'm just taking some mirror pics, I look good dude

Mark: Alright suit yourself bro

heads out the door

Y/N: heart beating fast (No… WAY, is it actually Johnny himself? I must entered the wrong restroom by accident, was I supposed to go upstairs? Either way, I must get out of HERE!)

Y/N: Looking through the crack through the stall door (He's still looking at himself, he looks so handsome and hot the way he stares at the mirror)

glasses drop

Y/N: (help that was so loud)

picks it up and wears it until meeting eye contact with Johnny Suh from below

Johnny: Yo, bro aren't you in the wrong restroom?

Y/N: Omg, I am so sorry!

quickly opens the stall door before being abruptly stopped by Johnny rushing out the restroom

Johnny: How the hell did you end up here, you were stalking me weren't you?

Y/N: NO, I promise I wasn't!

Johnny: You fucking sicko, what other conclusions can I even come up with besides this, get out you pervert.

heart sank

Y/N: You know what, fuck you, piece of scumbag I traveled here to see your show and paid for you so you think you would want decency and respect from your fans but I can't have the same back. You know what, I shouldn't have came here in the first place!

about to leave the restroom until my wrist was grabbed by Johnny

Y/N: What are you doing?!?

SMACKED

Y/N: gasps (I instantly fell down the floor, touching my pained red face) DID YOU JUST SLAP ME? I"M REPORTING YOU TO THE POLICE.

my hand was forcefully grabbed by him as he pinned me down the floor, his legs on my chest, giving me a seductive view from down below

Johnny: Hah. You know how much I hate people like you, you short nerd

Johnny: Go ahead, and report this to the police, they won't even do anything about it, as much as my company cares about incidents, you think they would want to fire an idol like me?

Y/N: tears rolling down my eyes (I can't believe the idol I loved could care to do such a thing like this)

Johnny: Now your crying? You dumb bitch

SMACKED

Y/N: (got slapped across the face again, this time my glasses came off a bit)

SMACKED

Johnny: I love it when people cry like you, kind of turns me on really

Y/N: Johnny takes off my glasses

Johnny: You know, I kind of feel bad now, never realized how hot you actually are

Johnny: Where you from?

Y/N: (I didn't say anything)

Johnny: C'monnn, before I slap you again

Y/N: s…st…states

Johnny: Which part of the states you from little sweetie pie?

Y/N: C-California

Johnny: I'm from Illnois baby, damn I can't take my eyes off of you

Johnny: You a boy or a girl, can't really tell cuz of your hair

Y/N: well… w- what do you think?

Johnny: You seem like a-

punches his crotch

Johnny: FUCKKK!

Y/N: (You deserve that you fuck, lay there in the ground, I need to get out of here as soon as possible!)

sees the door

Y/N: (Here's my chance!)

grabs the door

THUD!

continued...

[hugs2doie]

Hi bby, can you please do texts for johnny bf? Thank uuu

of course love !! <3

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

random texts with johnny !! <3

pairing: bf!johnny x gn!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: none, btw mark & haechan were mentioned here !

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

i hope u like them <3 reqs r open !

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

[jungwnies]

syn ' there's no fixing something so broken pairing ' fem!reader x bf!johnny

it was so good until it wasn't. it was so sweet until it turned bitter. it was so comforting, until it hurt.

the room you stood in with a lawyer besides you, and a judge in front of you felt unreal. you never would've thought you'd be going against someone you loved so deeply.

someone you thought would never hurt you.

(flashback)

you checked your voicemail, "i left some papers on the kitchen table, don't wait for me tonight, i won't be coming home." is what the voice on the other end of the line said.

the second you stepped into your home, you saw the papers enclosed in a big yellow envelope. divorce papers.

you're heart shattered, but you weren't surprised. in fact, you even laughed.

time was always a measurement of your relationship and it finally ran out.

so you signed the papers, not thinking anything of them. if it wasn't now, then it would've been later.

(present)

it hasn't started, the judge was preparing, walking in and out, and our lawyer was preparing papers.

you walk up to johnny and greet him, "long time no see."

johnny looks at you with a blank stare, "please don't look at me with so much resentment."

"why? i can't be upset that the person i love is finally leaving?" you challenge with a scoff.

"don't pretend like you haven't imagined your life without me." johnny argues, laughing.

you laugh, "after not seeing you for so long i thought i'd be sad, but honestly seeing your face makes me want to die." you look at johnny and shake your head, "and to think how much you made me miserable and i still loved you.”

"you know i loved you too." johnny tells you, "i still do."

"you left like i was never a reason to stay." you tell him sadly. "i didn’t realise i was such an inconvenience."

johnny swallows, "i don’t see the same person i loved when i look at you anymore."

you look him up and down, "neither do i."

"y/n i'm hurting too." johnny lamented.

"i hope we never have to see each other again." you tell him walking away.

2022 © jungwnies

[haechanhues]

chapter twenty : johnny suh

S I D E : A

word count : 1k

warnings : none tho includes alcohol.

It had been a rather rough day today, you were texting Sicheng earlier that day and only talked about Hendery without actually mentioning him and the attempt of subtlety had you more annoyed at him whilst both Haechan and Mark who were usually present at parties like this had ditched to attend a double date. Chenle visiting his friends instead.  

“Hey,” A girl with pretty long hair put herself in front of you, staring at you with concern in her eyes, “You alright? Do you feel sick?” 

“Uh, I’m okay,” You say, even though everything about your face reveals that nothing is okay. 

“Min,” She hisses to another girl clearly enjoying her vodka with a crazy straw, “Where’s Johnny?” 

“Why?” Min asks, unbothered and only a little concerned by your nonchalant face. 

“I’m gonna bring her to his room but I want to ask first.” 

“You’ve never made an effort before.” 

“Well he ripped into me last time, you should know! You were there-” 

“Okay, okay, Yuqi you don’t need to yell, I’m drunk not blind.” 

Yuqi curses to herself, promising to never let Minnie touch another vodka and cranberry ever again. Not while she’s there to look after her, anyways. 

“Just use it, I’ll go find him,” Minnie decides before wandering off with her empty glass and Yuqi wants to trust her, she does but she finds you need her more than Johnny does right now so she leads you to his room and sits you on his bed, happy to find the older man had cleaned his room. 

Yuqi sits you on the bed, checking your face for anything in your gaze before she kneels in front of you, “I’m gonna get you some water, okay? It’ll make you feel better.” 

You nod, though you feel a little better just being somewhere quiet and watch as Yuqi hurries outside to retrieve you some water. You miss the scent on her clothes as soon as she leaves and you sit silently. 

Patiently. 

Until you’re no longer patient anymore. You figure she must have got caught up, or in the ‘worst’ case scenario forgot about you. 

You stand, looking around at the room you’re in, figuring the best way to let time pass by is to have a little nosy around. It’s a clean boy room, with cool neon lights framing a bit of his bed and the faintest smell of cologne. 

Narrowing your eyes you peek curiously through his array of photos lined up against each other, showcasing his life and his personality. 

In fact, one of his friends looks exactly like Moon Taeil, strangely enough. 

“Uh- hi?” A deep voice frightens you so much that you look even more guilty, caught in the act and looking way too much like a deer in headlights to be innocent. 

“I’m not stealing anything!” 

The man laughs, “I didn’t think you were. You lost?” 

“Uh no- I’m uh- waiting for Yuqi-” 

He curses, “Fucking Yuqi, always bringing strays into my room-” 

Your eyebrows raise to which he laughs good naturedly, “Nothing to take offence over, really. At least you’re not fucking her.” 

You giggle, “I’m not. She’s getting me a water, and I- I think you’re the one that Min had to tell I was coming here-” 

Johnny snorts, “Yeah, right. I’m Johnny by the way.” 

“Y/N.” 

“So, “ Johnny sighs, laying down next to you with his arms supporting his neck, “Why are you here in the quiet instead of the rager downstairs?” 

“Honestly, I can’t be bothered,” You admit, your chin held by the back of your hand. Johnny finds it endearing, how comfortable you’re getting with him. While sober. It’s kind of nice…the change. 

Johnny chuckles, “I hope you’re bothered enough to tell me. I need some new gossip.” 

“Hmm,” You pretend to think hard, “It depends, are you going to tell people?” 

“Nah,” Johnny scoffs, “Even if I did…they’re all drunk and terrible conversationalists. I mean- you’ve met Minnie.” 

You start your story with a short cough to clear your throat and it’s an unveiling filled with every boy that has made your life. Your friends. Even Minnie and Yuqi to which he was glad to add his own comments about. 

You appreciate the way his eyes widen, and how he lets out a dramatic inhale of breath at every climax of your stories. He even scoots closer to you, in love with your storytelling and the complete gossip he’s getting from you right this minute. 

Minnie, who’s behind the door listening, appreciates it just as much. She wants to keep you. Just so she can see what happens next. 

“And Hendery? Are you still in love with him?” 

You shrug, “Yeah- but like I can’t be that in love with him if I like other people, right?” 

“Not necessarily, consider this...you’re a single girl, in a new town, living her life and learning about the world and it just so happens that you end up liking some of the people you connect with,” Johnny advises, looking very ‘shrink’ as he watches the information process in your brain. 

“But I don’t know if what I feel for Hendery is love…still love. He even said I should move on.” 

“So? Are you moving on? And if so, are you moving on for the right reasons?” 

“Right reasons?” 

“Although I love a revenge plot, it won’t work for you in this case. It’s just pettiness.” 

“Has anyone told you how hot you are?” Your voice diverges into another topic. Since you’ve been thinking about how sexy he is for the past minute… 

“Plenty of times.. It doesn’t hurt to hear it again though and usually not when I’m saying something they should listen to….” 

“Well then you’re hot,” You confess. Minnie has to roll her eyes as the conversation becomes a little too streaming site clickbait-esque and makes a quick exit, jogging to tell Yuqi the plan of adopting you. 

Johnny grins, “Thanks.” 

You beam back, “You’re welcome.” 

You press a chaste kiss to his lips in gratitude. For the conversation and the advice. Resisting the urge to kiss him again and again. 

S I D E : B

THE SERIAL LOVER

in which a girl farewells every boy she’s ever loved (or at least had romantic feelings for) in order to prove that her feelings for one particular boy are very real and unwavering. 

chapter twenty : johnny suh

masterlist | prev | next

taglist: @matchahyuck @haisuken @dinonuguaegi @replayenthusiast @90s-belladonna @ahnneyong @liliansun

[babieculture]

this is so fucking cute !!!!! (nd also feeding my johnny craving bc the fucker decides to look like this for the meaning of love track vid nd now i’ve gone all domestic-)

ugh he’s so husband material🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

A johnny drabble where the reader doesn't like the smell and taste of coffee and johnny just teasing them by kissing them after he drinks coffee or something like that pleaseee <3

It's not that you don't like the smell of Johnny-- or even the taste of him most of the time. But the way the man drinks his coffee is like a heart attack waiting to happen. You can handle the soft scent of a cappuccino and maybe the faint taste of bitterness on his lips, but he really goes all out for his caffeine. You'd be lying if you said he didn't drink at least an entire week's worth of it in just one cup.

There is a reason it isn't your favorite thing. From the harsh bitterness when you try to drink it to the overpowering scent that blocks your nose from smelling anything else for the rest of the day. Johnny is used to it though, and he thinks it's funny when you wrinkle your nose at him on the mornings he really goes all out with it.

It's not every day that he does it, of course. The man would probably be dead if that were the case, but it's always on the days he gets to lay around the house with you. The smell encompasses your space and invades your nostrils the moment you open your eyes that morning.

"I see you made it stronger this morning." You whine as you walk into the kitchen, where the scent is much stronger and Johnny is there, leaning against the counter with his loose fitting t-shirt and messy hair, sipping away at it as if it was the best-tasting thing in the world.

"You're so weird, coffee is like-- universally loved. They even sell coffee candles." Johnny says it nonchalantly, looking at you over the rim of his mug as he goes in for another sip of the heart-shaking liquid. " I thought you'd be used to it by now, honestly."

You're a little shocked yourself that you aren't. You don't really get a lot of time away from him either, outside of work anyway. You wonder if you would miss the smell of it if he were to ever leave you for a long period of time. Maybe that's why people like it, nostalgia maybe?

"That's one thing I refuse to get used to." You say with another grimace, knowing you're just being dramatic about it. The smell is so strong in this room it almost turns your stomach. You opt to open a window.

"You're cute when you grimace," Johnny says, his morning voice much more clear than your own. You figure it's because he's drinking something warm to make his voice nice and smooth. That's a point you will give to coffee, it makes his voice nice and satin-like in the mornings. "You're gonna have to find a way to get used to it though, because I'm not going to sit here and--"

He says it with a pause as you hear him sit his mug down on the counter and rush towards you. You were still facing the window, attempting to breathe in the foggy air but you knew what was coming.

"No!" You shout playfully, pushing yourself back from the window and dodging his obnoxiously plush lips that were puckering violently at you.

But when he finally catches you, pressing you against the kitchen counter with his coffee-colored everything, from his hair to his eyes, you almost decide that the taste can't be that bad. Maybe you've just had a bad batch every single time you tried it.

And when he leans in to kiss you, you anticipate it and welcome the bitter scent and taste of his lips. But he doesn't kiss you, instead, he keeps you pressed against the counter and grabs the mug.

He takes a long sip of it and you watch the way his Adam's apple flexes when he swallows it. You're still looking at his neck when he leans straight in, wasting no time in parting your lips.

You give in, feeling the warmth of his tongue on yours. It was bitter and comforting in the way he pressed his body against yours and cradles your head in his hands as he kissed into you.

He'd never kissed you like this, and maybe it's just for funsies because it really isn't that big of a deal that you don't like coffee. But also maybe you really are too dramatic because the taste against his lips is nothing like the coffee you'd had before. Instead, now, you just want more of it.

And no, you won't drink a whole cup of the stuff. But if you had to say you like coffee, it would only be because it came from his lips.

When he finally pulls back, after his tongue had dropped in temperature a little, he raises his brow at you with the way you chased his lips.

"You sure you refuse to get used to it?" He mocks with a smile, pressing his forehead against yours in a small laugh. "You seem pretty eager for it."

You gently bump your forehead against his in retaliation and he attempts to pull away from you in defeat. "You know I'm not going to just like-- not kiss you because I've had coffee right?"

"I never said you had to." You say back, not letting him pull away from you. "I guess I will admit that--"

Johnny already breaks out in another huge smile, leaning straight back into you and shaking his messy hair out of his face. "Admit what?" He urges you. Big hands snaking their way around your waist into a hug. "Go on, admit that it's not that bad."

"I will only tolerate it if you keep doing this."

"Fair enough."

He gives himself a gold star this time and hopes that someday he can make you a cup of coffee that doesn't have you grimacing, even if it's cute.

[sunshyni]

— my oh my. Johnny Suh

A leaked message stating the obvious about Johnny was enough for you to finally have him.

johnny x Reader | Fluff but suggestive 🤭 | w.c: 1k

— Oh my God, those jeans are killer — Jaehyun started, practically squirming on the couch in the living room of the frat house where he, Johnny, Doyoung, and a few other guys lived. It was crazy how magnetic your presence was; every eye in the room turned to you when you walked in, like it was automatic. — What's her deal, huh?

— Aww, are you like this ‘cause she turned you down? — Johnny asked, sipping a beer and watching you, not like a creep, just admiring. You really were stunning, not only in looks but in brains, too. You worked part-time at a luxury store at the airport and were always looking flawless, though Johnny figured you’d still look flawless even with messy hair.

— Go on, alright? Everyone knows she’s into you, lover boy — Jaehyun pouted, which made Johnny grin and pinch his cheek like he was a little kid; with that look, he actually did look like a baby.

— Don’t play the victim. You’ll have plenty of girls chasing you — he rolled his eyes, and Johnny gave him a couple of gentle pats on the shoulder, then walked over to you, touching your waist softly when he reached you, his hand brushing against your soft skin peeking out from your crop top. — Hey.

— Hey — you practically choked out. Johnny grinned, leaving you a bit speechless. Your natural hair and the low-rise jeans you wore made you look absolutely perfect, but the blush on your cheeks, even before you’d had a drink, gave you an angelic vibe Johnny found himself totally obsessed with.

— You were amazing in the seminar today — he had to say something. You knew that now everyone knew about your crush on him, thanks to that accidentally leaked message to the whole school. It wasn’t anything sexual, but it did make him sound like some Greek god, which Johnny found funny and cute, even if he was already confident in himself. It was the first time someone had complimented him like that.

— Ah, I had to take a shot just before it started so I wouldn’t stammer — you admitted, suddenly unsure of what to do with your hands. How close were two people supposed to be when they weren’t actually a thing? Because right now, you felt incredibly close to him and wanted to laugh nervously. — John… about those messages, I didn’t mean…

— Nuzzle your face in my chest? You can do that — you couldn’t help it and laughed, covering your face with your hands like a shy little girl. You’d vented to the wrong person, that was clear, or your messages wouldn’t have been leaked, but everyone agreed with your words, including Johnny himself. He held you, guiding you back until your back met the wall. — What else do you want to do that you didn’t describe in those messages?

— Should I say it? — you smiled playfully, and Johnny smiled back, hooking a finger through the belt loop of your jeans, pulling you closer. Maybe it was the drink, or maybe it was the green light you gave for him to touch you, but he pulled you a bit closer by the waistband and leaned down to kiss your neck, licking the skin, sucking, and lightly grazing his teeth.

A quiet sigh escaped your lips before you realized. You definitely loved flirting, touches, and making out; you’d never gone all the way, and you felt nervous about how skilled Johnny seemed to be with his mouth, his hands, his whole body, honestly.

— I’ve been wanting to get close to you for a while but always thought you were kinda untouchable — Johnny admitted against your skin, and you practically burst at his confession. You had a confident air, like you didn’t care about anyone’s opinion, but all you wanted was for Johnny to feel the same way.

— Maybe for other guys… but not for you — you said with a smile, and Johnny moved even closer, kissing your cheek, the corner of your lips, but never quite reaching where you wanted. He was teasing, and you knew it from the little smirk he’d flash between a firm squeeze and a soft press of his lips against your skin. — Oh, for heaven’s sake, John.

You grabbed his silver chain that peeked out from his shirt, pulled it free, and kissed him, hard, filled with want, like you were devouring each other against the wall near the frat house door. Johnny tangled his fingers in your hair and pulled back gently, letting you catch your breath, both of you breathing heavily.

— Come on — he said, taking your hand and leading you up the stairs. You followed, weaving past people with drinks in hand, bumping into a few on the way. Johnny opened his room door, which he likely shared with another guy, given the second bed on the right side.

It looked like a typical high school guy’s room, which was kind of cute. Johnny had a shelf full of comics, and his room had its own bathroom; on the doorframe, there was a pull-up bar you couldn’t help but admire, picturing the sight of a shirtless Johnny using it. You felt like a little girl, and maybe, with him, that’s exactly what you were.

— Astroboy? — you asked, playing with a little figurine on his shelf.

— It suits me, doesn’t it?

— Definitely, you’re a star.

You smiled, watching him sitting on the single bed, then followed, sitting across from him, kissing him slowly, your hands exploring his chest with calm. Somehow, Johnny got you to wrap your legs around his waist, and you had to kick off your shoes in the process, which made him chuckle against your lips. Johnny caressed your back as his mouth explored your neck, kissing your skin so delicately it felt like his lips were velvet.

— Johnny… — you began, and he immediately met your gaze. — Hold on, it’s all good. It’s just that… I’ve never…

— Never? — he knew exactly what you meant.

— Only once, almost… but I freaked out, and… — Johnny left a soft kiss on your forehead.

— It’s okay; we don’t have to do anything tonight.

— But I love making out — you said, pressing your bodies even closer, and Johnny grinned, thinking you were way too perfect to be real.

— Me too. So much.

@sunshyni. All rights reserved.

[viasdreams]

── ⋅☆⋅ ──

texts with boyfriend johnny !!

a/n: ive been on a crazy johnny kick recently NEED HIM

[aquarius-johnny]

“we’re just friends, right?”

au: friends to lovers

warnings: bestfriend! johnny, suggestive, fluff, mutual pining, reader and johnny are down bad for each other

summary: friends don’t really look at each other the way you two do, right?

your friendship with johnny confuses everyone.

they notice the way johnny’s hand lingers a little too long on your body after finding any excuse to touch you, the way he endearingly strokes your hair out of comfort — mostly for his than for yours, and the way his eyes automatically search for you in a sea of people as if you’re his anchor that’s keeping him grounded.

it never goes unnoticed how you steal glances when you think no one is looking, how you always find an excuse to compare your small hands to his just so you can hold it for a moment, how you always forget to bring a jacket every time it’s cold out so johnny has yet another reason to let you borrow his.

or how you both always opt to share one drink, always using the excuse that you won’t be able to finish one on your own. how you both casually grab each others hand in a crowd of people so you both don’t lose each other. how neither of you accept the advances someone makes towards you two, always telling potential suitors that you’re already seeing someone — something one of you did first and now both of you do it.

it doesn’t matter how many times your friends have wondered or how many times strangers have asked, your answer to their question — are you two dating? — is always no, he’s just a friend. but they know friends don’t look at each other the way you two do. it’s always a will they or won’t they situation that secretly has your friends either rooting for both of you or are annoyed with the situation as a whole. either way, they’re hooked.

with enough nagging from your friends and family, you begin to question the authenticity of your friendship with your best friend. so does johnny. but neither of you do anything about it.

it’s not a foreign idea — for you two, at least — to have co-ed sleepovers, much to the dismay from both families. it’s harmless. nothing more happens than just sleeping and you swear up and down that absolutely nothing happens between the two of you in bed.

johnny keeps his hands to himself — for the most part. aside from the occasional arm slinging over your abdomen or the casual spooning with his arm over your waist when you wake up. but you’re both unconscious when it happens, so it isn’t his fault, right?

you on the other hand, can’t say you’re as disciplined as your best friend. everything you do always comes in the form of accidents — accidentally moving your hips against him when he’s spooning, you swear you’re just adjusting your position; accidentally grazing his morning wood with your hand when you get out of bed to use the bathroom, you’re half asleep and groggy so you have no idea what your body parts are up to until you get at least a cup of coffee in your system; accidentally forgetting to pack some pajama shorts in your overnight bag so you’re forced to sleep in a shirt and underwear during the night, always telling yourself you won’t forget to pack a pair next time.

johnny doesn’t bring it up, though. you’re not sure if he knows it’s happening or if he enjoys waking up to it as much as you do. so it just continues to happen with unspoken words between you two.

until now.

staring at the ceiling above you as you lay in johnny’s bed, you softly let out his name and wait for him to respond.

he gives you a low hum.

“i have something on my mind.” sitting up, you shift your body to look at him. you watch his eyes flutter open before he sees you looking down.

sitting up, he languidly shifts his body weight to rest on the palm of his hands that are placed slightly behind him. “what’s wrong?” he rasps, one hand extending towards his nightstand to turn on a lamp.

“no, wait, don’t turn it on yet,” you quickly say, halting his movements.

the only light source gleams from his bedroom window, reflecting the busy city’s skyline.

retracting his hand, you see his brows knit together in confusion. “what’s going on?” he asks again, this time placing a hand on your lower back after adjusting his sitting position to push himself further up the bed with his back pressed against the pillows that line his headboard.

“i’ve been wanting to do something for a long time now,” a shaky exhale leaving your lips. “and i need you to stay still for me.”

“okay,” he lets out quietly, feeling the tension building between the two of you.

leaning into him slowly, your hand gently cups his jaw, heart thumping hard against your chest, and your lips begin to lightly tremble.

softly pressing your lips against his, johnny’s body tenses in surprise before he quickly relaxes and captures your bottom lip between his, moving his lips in sync with yours.

you sit there for a moment, basking in the reality that you’re kissing your best friend — kissing him with passion, lust, and sexual frustration entwined with every single movement of your lips.

his hands grip your waist, naturally pulling your body into his. you allow it to happen, your body tightly against his chest. he lifts his chin to keep his lips attached to yours as you’re nearly hovering over him before you position yourself on his lap to cradle him.

as you pull away, his lips chase yours — needing to feel them on his again.

“no, don’t stop, please,” he begs quietly right before his hands cup the sides of your neck, holding you in place as he kisses you.

butterflies swarm your stomach, your lips matching his movements.

his arms wrap around you, pulling your body into his, desperate to keep you close as if he fears this is all a dream he’s about to wake up from.

you slowly pull away from him, again, pressing your forehead against his. your lips are hovering over each other, breathing in each other’s air.

“was it okay that i did that?” you softly ask.

“it’s more than okay.” a smile pulling from the corners of his mouth. “i’m glad you did.”

a sigh of relief leaves you before it quickly disappears, nerves taking over once again. “are we still just friends?” you nervously ask him, pulling back to create some distance between the two of you.

he flickers between your eyes, moving a strand of fallen hair away from your face. he softly laughs. “was i really just a friend to begin with?”

[ncityprincess]

NCT 127 and their types as Pinterest pictures (Johnny)

Note: I’m not talking about specific looks (skin color, body types etc) when I’m talking about types. I’m just talking aesthetic wise 🤗

As the head fashion evaluator himself, he would have the range to appreciate a true Fashion Girlie™️. He’ll travel to every thrift store in the city with you for hours without a single complaint as long as there’s coffee involved.