#my hands hurt after that one too
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...i made another rosary
#anyways i made a double rosary this time#118 beads one pendant piece and 377 hand tied knots in between the beads (most needed 3+ to ensure no slipping. i still missed a couple)#my hands are cramping#but i feel content#still tapping. less murder.#something something reconnecting with my italian heritage through bastardizations of Catholicism#anyways creation as devotion my beloved#jewelry as prayer my beloved#i am not christian i don't believe in god but I do believe in myself and the power of making up little things to remember aka: prayers#this one is on heavy duty silk thread and is primarily made of round heliotrope bloodstone#with a little bit of aquamarine carnelian and tourmilated quartz for spacing#my last one was just bloodstone and wasn't tied#on that one I instead made 59 individual double hoop enclosed bits of chain with a bead in between the loops#my hands hurt after that one too#but not as bad as they do now
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iceman + his concern for maverick post-hop 31
#icemav#top gun edit#ice is a FASCINATING one to watch post-hop 31 imo because while yesâ obviouslyâ the focus is on maverick and his grief and devastation#ice is there the whole time in the backgroundâ watching. and he's visibly disturbed by what he's seeing. because yeah -#he and mav had a rivalry going and yeah he called maverick dangerous and reckless to his face and he stands by that - he does.#but the problem is that this time - this one fluke freak accident of a time - it wasn't maverick's fault at all.#an unrecoverable flat spin brought on by a compressor stall from ice's jetwash isn't something that maverick could've outflown#by sticking to textbook maneuvers. it was just shit luck and shitty circumstances aligning to create a tragic mishap.#but now - now ice can see the way maverick is unraveling in the aftermath#and i'd bet that on some level it terrifies him to see that.#he's used to seeing maverick with all that brash cocky confidence with the moves to back it up.#he's maybe even had a bit of fun jockeying against that. not that he'd admit that out loud. (yet)#but maverick's spiraling now - a hollowed out shell of his former self - leaking grief and self-doubt and despair everywhere he goes#and it actually hurts to look at for iceâ seeing maverick like this. seeing how much maverick really REALLY fucking cared under that facade#and wondering if maverick is finally taking the stuff ice said to him to heartâ but applying it all wrong.#so he watches maverick and eventually that concern builds to a point where he tries to offer an olive branch in the locker room#you can SEE how carefully he gathers himself - how much he's holding back - he doesn't want to say the wrong thing to maverick NOW#he doesn't want to make this worse than it already is. so it comes out stilted. it's earnest - but restrained. he can't find his footing.#he doesn't know where he and maverick stand now but he's sorry - that goose is goneâ that maverick's going through thisâ#that he doesn't know how to help or what to sayâ and - crucially - for his own part in this.#but he wants mav to stick around and push through this. even though he's dangerous. even though he's reckless. ice wants him to beat this.#so when maverick shows up to graduationâ ice is encouraged. and he's a little warmer. maverick really might pull through.#but thenâ all too soonâ it's ice's life on the line in maverick's hands. and it scares the shit out of him because maverick's not ready#and now ice - and slider - are going to have to pay the price for that.#and thenâ against all oddsâ maverick pushes through. he comes back for them. he comes back for ice.#and after that...well.#after thatâ ice does know what to say: a vow.#my amvs#linds original
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anyone wanna be boy bestfriends in a scary research facility and get increasingly concerned for eachothers well-being?
#omg nobody look hes boobs.#kind of. close enough. this is probably the most you'll get from me in that department i get scared#ANYWAYYY. lalalalalalala#blargh that 3rd ones older but it looked funny w only 2 imgs#id in alt text#gordon freeman#barney calhoun#my art#half life#freehoun#waves my hands around#Alternatively titled gord asks barney 2 come down 2 the labs and help him out after HEV training. And they're gay about it đ#the. umm uhh. taking some job bcos theyâre the only place thatll hire you after dropping outta college and with nowhere else togo#and then you meet some guy and it rules and then hes in way too deep for being 27#and then youre worried & your heart hurts more for someone else than you thought it could#and u know u gotta keep an eye on him cos nobody else is. or something ?#<- copy pasted from discord but my point still stands
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PLEASE MORE BUTTERFLY HOWDY CONTENT HES SO FUCKING SILLY
OKAY HERE'S A COMIC SHENANIGANS THING
#this looks best if you click through instead of scrolling#which is kind of stupid to say After The Post. but yk.#spent way too long on this. worth it tho#its always worth it For The Bit#and this was good practice! ty for the opportunity!#the version of butterfly!howdy i have in my head is. hes a lot. i love him <3#scribble salad#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#howdy pillar#yassified howdy <3#i am so so so soooo tempted to make a butterfly howdy tag just to compile it all#i love compiling things. i like having specific collections In One Uninterrupted Place#alright well my hand hurts and its 5 am so im gonna queue this and go sleepies#wait fuck whats in the queue for tomorrow. today.#hm... ok this is a sunday post then. tomorrow is Booked#yall get a brief break from the butterfly howdy shenanigans#*got. im speaking to future people from the past rn. wild. ty tumblr for allowing time travel#its a tangled mess of yarn anyways#i am once again So Tempted To Write For This#perhaps one day i will fulfill my dream of writing a fic about howdy chrysalizing. metamorphosizing. whatever#id make it slowburn laughingstock perhaps... Probably.... i care them too much not too....#something for future me to enjoy! as a treat <3
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Just keep getting back up (Patreon)
#Doodles#Handplates#UT#Fellplates#Gaster#Asgore#The thought of Gaster able to heal himself! Rather to only have himself to rely on in a world that lives to hurt him (and everyone else)#It's an interesting inversion that's for sure#Is it as satisfying if it's not the one who deserves the broken bones? The pain of rejection or of justice retribution punishment?#It's still the same face - and it's not like he's wholly innocent here either#And besides it's always fun to draw tears hee âŞ#Get him just a bit disheveled aside from the broken bone - it's hard to imagine him in different clothes even after drawing him in the dress#Softer clothes would be so nice to hold Babybones with but even just dropping a shoulder off his coat or untying his bow tie - it's strange!#I do like the image of his flower crown shedding petals when he gets roughed up tho hehe - tossed around just a little too much!#Breaking his hand right down the middle - it'd be much easier with the holes in his hands as a weak point#All his bones could break easier than his hands before that but now-#It's weird to draw Asgore like that lol I dunno....Works well enough for utility but pffblt :P I always forget his pauldrons anyhow lol#Really rubbing it in that Gaster will be fiiiine he's sooooo special what with his ability to heal >:( Lol#It does make him a bit of a target - a regenerating punching bag? Ideal to see just how far you can push him#It was fun to draw with my green coloured pencil as well ahh <3 Healing magic always gives me a bit of the warm fuzzies#It was the original comic that made me fall in love with Handplates after all ⼠Pretty and feelings <3
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BOLAS ROJAS
Also a bonus version without the overlays and shadows so you can see them better :), kinda annoyed stuff gets lost on the shadow but thats what you get when you are a dramatic team haha
#slimecicle#philza#cellbit#baghera jones#jaiden animations#carre qsmp#qsmp#qsmp purgatory#team bolas#my art#yes I know there are more people on the team now but my hand hurts just after drawing the original team haha#Also Philza is def the only one not in a jump suit cause hes the leader of the team#nothing to do with the fact I forgot to put him one in the other drawing I did of him and liked it too much to change :)
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"it's a trauma response" and "it's a shitty way to treat someone" are not mutually exclusive btw â¨
#i can be UNDERSTANDING of trauma without making it a get out of jail free card#i can empathize with them because of trauma. the trauma wasnt their fault. how they handle it is in their hands though#how they want to grow from here and the way they treat people is still their responsibility#i say as very much a trauma bitch myself#yes of course this is about stolitz#full moon spoilers#helluva boss spoilers#we hold people accountable for their actions in this household while also treating them with care and dignity#in real life too in real life too i love my traumatized chosen family and so i will not infantilise them#trauma has controlled our lives enough thank you i dont need it to make my loved ones feel they cant tell me when ive been shitty#i love them i want them to expect to be treated well. yknow?#i want to expect better of myself and for them to expect i want to be better#yknow?#so i get irked when people equate 'trauma response' to 'completely outside of the persons control forever'#anywaaayyys â¨â¨â¨#rant in tags#trauma response#which is also why i personally find it delicious that blitz tries to say sorry at the end#makes me wonder... is that another layer of trauma response? or was he fully genuine after seeing the hurt?#yummy
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Another Love
So few days ago I was casually listening to music and this song stared playing and all I could think about since then was how perfectly HarryKim vibe this song has for me.
I believe that after everything Harry went through, even given his high sensitivity and emotionality, he seems likely to just have a lot of doubts and be afraid of another disappointment and potential heartbreak. Given that he decides to quit drinking and become more capable of taking care of himself in general terms, that fright won't be without cover. Another story like the one with Dora would probably just break him completely and he will just go down without any hopes for ever coming back. Especially, knowing how emotionally distant Kim can be.
(There are some scenes of my post-Return headcanon, I am thinking about publishing this as a full story, but I cannot decide if I want to make it as comic or fic series or a mix of everything, so maybe one day)
The song is of course "Another love" by Tom Odell
( Ko-fi | DevArt )
#On the other hand if the feelings already blossomed is it really any way of protecting yourself by not doing anything about it?#Like#hoping that things will stay this way forever and you just won't get hurt in the process?#Boy oh boy there seems to be only one good way out of this#And it's therapy for both of you guys#My headcanon is that Harry and Jean become besties again after like a year or so#And that Jean is smart enough to make him aware of this#(not the therapy)#(i mean this too but earlier)#but you cannot avoid a broken heart by crushing on someone for prolonged period of time and hoping they won't find anyone#while also not making any move#art#fanart#disco elysco#disco elysium fanart#disco elysium#harry du bois#harrier du bois#kim kitsuragi#harrykim#my art
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The album Phantoms by Marianas Trench is so bkdk coded!!!!!
Only the Lonely Survive, Donât Miss Me, Glimmer, I Knew You When, Death of Me, UGH THEYâRE ALL SO GOOD
Heâll never scar you like I do, but heâll never know you, not the way that I know you
Can we forgive and forget, can we lay to rest, can we catch a breath
Never more to leave here, you should never be here, I know my love can be the killing kind
!!!!!
#bkdk#bakudeku#this is seriously in my top five favorite albums#idk if thereâs another like it even#I mostly associate phantoms with Lockwood and co#and Anthony Lockwood specifically#but I pulled it out again today and got slapped in the face with bkdk#only the lonely survive???#about doomed love or love that hurts but you donât care#plus itâs a bop hands down#âI tell myself that I could do with the space between me to you#and Iâm just a drink away from honesty so who knows whatâs true but Iâm wondering if maybe you donât miss me tooâ#STOP#UGH I LOVE IT SO MUCH#glimmer is like dvk2 and immediately after#or death of me or I wish you were here#both easily kacchan dying#listen do yourself a favor and listen to phantoms#itâs an experience#and if you wanna talk about the way it starts from a place of sadness and loss and misunderstanding#then devolves more and more into madness until at the very end the only thing they can do is beg their loved one to stay#I am your gal#STAY#idc what anyone says#thatâs all Kacchan and Izuku want from each other at this point anyway#just stay#stay here#stay with me#for the rest of our lives#I love it
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when i think about the fact that dazai was the one who chose the location of the safe house for odaâs orphans i feel the need to walk into traffic
and then this was just straight up AURA. not to mention that mori is witnessing dazai experience the emotion he needed him to in order to fully calculate his potential as his successor. itâs a no brainer that dazai can lead an organisation but before oda i donât think mori ever witnessed dazai serve to protect something or do something that didnât benefit him (mori is a slave to the organisation as much as he is its figurehead as he explains, this shows him that dazai has the full potential he needs him to have. and hence why he keeps his executive seat open without replacement because dazai joining the agency to protect people and thus, the city, only furthers this point for him)
#he was so angry here and thatâs what gets me is that we see in the day i picked up dazai side b#what anger is like for him. we see in dark era the depth of his sadness and his detachment to living#and we see here how his anger manifests after learning heâs been betrayed by someone that he trusted and that that betrayal#hurt someone he cares about and has put them in danger. dazaiâs friendship with oda was exploited without him even realising it#dazai was exploited many many times at moriâs hands but more on that another time im just. god#itâs too much#it hurts so bad to think about him like this#heâs so angry and so upset that he physically cannot articulate it how he normally would without a doubt#and iâm đŤľâźď¸ FUCK OUGAI MORI ALL MY HOMIES HATE OUGAI MORI#anyway sorry.#tbd.#should point out TRUST is a long way to go for dazai n mori but to some extent this is a betrayal of his trust#this is the one thing mori didnât include him on and worked it under his nose for 2 years#like not only has ango betrayed him here but so has mori and that IS trust#anyways#⸠ââ âooc.
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This is far from my best work, but it's 1:30am, and I needed to get this down before I slept or lost my mind. So here, take a snippet of Rook seeing Zara again for the first time in 3 years.
Trying, and failing, to keep his voice from shaking, [Rook] said âHello, Captain.â Mouth still open in surprise, [Zara] replied âWell, hello yourself.â The reality of what she was seeing seemed to hit her as she rounded the desk. âRook, is that really you?â He nodded. âItâs me.â Zara ran towards him, stopping just short of touching him, and said âWhat did she do to you?â Rookâs heart stuttered and he had to brush his fingers together to confirm Sigmarâs ring was still in place. Could she possibly see through its illusion? But then he remembered what Lanny had said. She knew where you were. His throat clenched and he choked out âTwo years.â A wave of grief swept across Zaraâs face as she said âIâm so, so sorry.â Rook shook his head vigorously. âItâs not your fault.â Zara ignored him. âIt is my fault. I failed you. As your captain, itâs my responsibility to keep you safe, and I failed you.â Rook wanted to say something, to reassure her, but she pushed on. âShe sent me letters, told me all the terrible things she was doing to you. I⌠I let you down.â Those words hit Rook with the force of a dozen cannonballs. Lanny had said that Zara knew Wolf had him, but knowing that Zara had been aware of what Wolf was doing to him⌠somehow that was more painful than any wound Wolf had ever inflicted. He barely managed to force his next words out around the lump in his throat. âWhere were you?â And why didnât you come? âShe said sheâd kill you if I came to get you. Or if I hired anyone to get you. Youâre standing here because I stopped sailing.âÂ
(honorary one-time tag for @space-writes bc I remember you enjoyed my other bits about Rook and Zara.)
#morrigan.text#my writing#dnd writing#oc: Rook#oc: Zara#btw when I say that what she said was more painful than any wound wolf inflicted I'm not just talking about her not saving him.#it also just hurts him to know that she was hurting too.#she left him with that woman for two years (to save his life yes. but she left him there all the same) and yet half of his thoughts are#''I'm sorry I hurt you.''#ROOK. MY BELOVED BABY BOY. PLEASE.#STOP APOLOGIZING.#also if anyone needs a cheering up after this please know that their conversation got interrupted by a giant snake showing up and zara#immediately asking Rook ''WHAT DID YOU DO???'' bc she knows her boy.#and he's like ''idk I just woke up like an hour ago'' and then he suddenly remembers that he swore like 3 times (town rules say no to that)#and he just goes ''SHIT'' and Zara fucking clamps her hand over his mouth and says ''take that back!''#and through her hand he says ''how the fuck am I supposed to take that back?'' and she just clamps his mouth harder.#oh. and the time he swore earlier was bc he stepped outside and got spit on by a bull and he was like ''is this normal??''#and someone said ''I've never seen that happen but these animals are part of [big snake almost-god]'s menagerie'' and hands Rook a paper#with all the town rules (there are many). And he goes ''what the fuck?'' and then he gets to the rule that reads ''no swearing'' and he goe#''SHIT!'' and then he realizes what he says and goes ''AAAHHHH.'' and I was cackling.#I was doing this on purpose btw. I knew that this would make the snake mad at me and I did it anyway bc I am a chaos gremlin.#however I did NOT know I would get Rook's only friend from before the party killed by doing this. RIP Jay. I loved you so much.#but yeah. my boy swears like a sailor bc he is one. and it did in fact get people killed. But it was funny to me.#ALSO when she met the party the first thing she said was ''thank you for saving my boy'' and I almost sobbed.#like yeah. he is her boy.#I'm going to explode just thinking about it.#okay if you read all these tags I love you forever and please feel free to yell at my idiot boy in the comments/tags/wherever.#maybe if enough of us join in he'll actually listen. (no he won't)#OH RIGHT. And the party is finally staring to realize how much of a capital L Liar this man is.#because they can literally see him catching himself about to say ''I'm fine'' every time they ask how he's doing
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As much as I totally get that the Master was being shown as a domestic abuser as much as they were allowed to for a family program in âThe Last Of The Time Lordsâ, I choose to instead believe that he was just extremely reactive due to, you know, having just run away from a war that scared and traumatized him so severely that he disguised himself as a human at the END OF THE FUCKING UNIVERSE in order to hide from it, and Lucy just tried to hug him from behind or something when he didnât know she was there and so he immediately threw a punch on reflex; because it is infinitely funnier to me that way.
Lucy: -walking up behind the master- good morning hone- :)
The Master, an extremely anxiety-ridden and traumatized war veteran who just escaped said war: AH- -throws a punch on instinct-
Lucy:
The Master: DONâT FUCKING DO THAT
Lucy:
The Master: -clutching at his hearts as he tries to calm down-
Lucy: thatâs it iâm shooting him
Like itâs just so much funnier to me that way. Free my man he did everything wrong but I donât care.
#doctor who#the master#lucy saxon#like oh i get what canon was trying to imply#but they never said it directly so i get to play in the wiggle room and have fun#simm!master#this is also why he was shaking his hand afterwards#cause he was hurling a punch on panicked reflex so hurt himself too lol#cause considering how much stronger time lords are than humans you would think he wouldnât be hurting#after punching one#unless he was just going for it on fear#the real miracle here is that lucy survived with only a bruise to show for it tbh#like even in canon if a TIME LORD threw a punch hard enough to feel it#itâs a miracle lucy walked out with only a bruise#send her to unit sheâs got something going on fr#this headcanon features prominently in my celestial dimensions au as well#and leads to a funny exchange of#martha: i mean. you know how he treated lucyâŚ#the doctor: oh no- that wasnât- (knows this is about to hurt) here iâll show you#and then takes a punch by spooking the master for the bit#and they say man has commitment issues#pshaw
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Anyways update i just didnt bother to post earlier:
fr God is good and the whole car crash my parents got into last week was so incredibly mild in terms of injuries!!!! worst was a bruised knee im pretty sure
ALSO-
*taps mic* HUG YOUR FREAKING LOVED ONES OR SO HELP ME!!!!!!!
#ALSO DO NOT READ THE TAGS IF YOURE HERE FOR A GOOD TIME!!!!#ENDED UP VENTING AGHHHHH- (<- amongus ref in 2024???? l+ratio) (no but seriously stay safe; im not sure if i should add a cw???)#no but like the cars themselves?#FOLDED-#ive seen photos of worse ones of course lol (ty internet <3)#but we´re all in agreement that if it had hit anywhere else at that speed it wouldve been BAD Bad-#like; severe injury to the leg at least; drivers door wouldve crumpled; thankfully it hit the tire mostly#our car got what seems to be the lesser damage and theyre still debating if it counts as total loss xd#also oh goshhhh#so i usually go and say goodbye to my dad when hes headed to work; i did it that day as usual; car was already halfway out the driveway#my dog also loves to go and she was already in the car#but my mom (taking my dad to work) said she´d need to stop by the store after dropping dad off; so she handed her back to me#last minute descision-#my dog is a small kinda elderly chihuahua and wouldve been on my mom´s lap when they crashed#no seatbelt for her obviously#she wouldve gotten injured so freaking bad if she was there ):#overall feels like we dodged a life altering accident by a hair#i wasnt even in it and im still shook hahaha#i always go say bye to dad if hes leaving for work no matter if im pissed off or sad or whatever#half out of habit; half bc i know anything could happen at any moment and id rather not have been too proud to say goodbye#dammit im crying now hahaha#saying again; everyones fine!!!!! please remember to hug your loved ones !!!!!!#shut up sheo#but oh gosh too many reminders of death as a constant recently#that happened about a week after a cousin died; i hadnt seen him in forever but his family went to our church growing up; he was my age#it was a dull and distant pain even then to hear the news but it still hurt; i didnt go to the funeral#did go to the one a couple days later tho; for a family member i truly didnt know; it was a car crash i think#a special kind of heartbreak from meeting his mom and seeing his kids running around#now that i realize it; as im writing this; i hadnt stopped to process just about anything hahaha#freaking sobbing at 9 in the morning smh!!!!!
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i really do not talk enough abt how hilde's hair going white (which he can glamour but not dye. his hair no longer takes dye. important distinction. to him) wasn't only the like, constant visual reminder of his "monstrosity" (= sin eater shit, he never fully turned & his aether is no longer corrupted of course but the white hair is part of the things that like. mark him as having been irreversibly affected by the light, like the gilded/whitened scales, the blank white eyes & his legs now being digitigrade bc he did partially turn into a creature during the dying gasp) but also like. he arrived in eorzea with his hair bleached white. his garlean family had been forcing their own physical traits upon him & white hair was among them. you know? it all ties him back to garlemald. he can never escape garlemald.
#ffposting#hildegarde roquefort#in a way is it cruel to have him end up with emet? Maybe.#but that's why i 'jokingly' call them toxic yaoi. there's a lot of fucking baggage there. it's rough! it's fucking rough#i post about the sweeter shit bc that's where i'm at in the story rn. they'd be dealing with the sweeter shit now. but like.#right after dying gasp? the whole nightmare phase in post shb? them sort of reuniting when emet inserts himself in hildes brain?#thinking it would be temporary so the relationship is very very charged but they dont really bother working things out proper?#& then hilde actually does bring him back. & the others are back too? & now emet has to deal with all these consequences?#& face the one he loves most - & the one he's hurt most? hey. take my hand. it's not pretty in here. for a good while.
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tender as a bruise, sharper than a razor wrap her tentacles around me like she'll never let me go
klaus' backstory arc just ended heho and it was revealed he used to be the lover of the goddess of storms and pirates... she had basically kidnapped him and imprisoned him into murder and piracy for 20 years and needless to say it greatly damaged him on every level <3 its okay he's been able to be normal for once since the start of the campaign thanks to the party aka his new found family
get urself a surrogate middle-aged father who can speedrun a forbidden romance in one minute and then immediately go to confront the darkest version/a corrupted version of himself, as well as his toxic lover as she tortures him -w-)b
details and just the lines hehe
#clerichs.png#my artwork#original character#original art#original illustration#digital art#digital painting#digital illustration#dnd character#oc#oc illustration#im so unnormal about him.#he got hurt soo badly in isolation... thats where all the scars in his ref came from </3#this portrait is of the one scar his goddess did not give him.... </3#tfw ur jealous sea goddess lover pits you against other pirates and sea monsters to fight for ur life and test ur devotion#and she promised to love you wholly only for u to realize she doesn't understand or know what love is#and only wanted it bc everyone else who had love seemed so happy and she wanted that too#so after she destroyed everything you loved (literally your entire world) she merely treats u as a possession for 20 years#and you don't know how to ask for love because you don't know how to love either so you resent her and everything and everyone#leading rage to build up within you and you willfully slaughtering so many things because you cant handle your emotions and pain#and after deflating and sinking into apathy a rogue priest manages to break ur exterior and touch you deeply enough to let you love again#and because of him you're able to begin breaking free of everything and you lose everything again but this time#this time you wake up in a crate of fish to outstretched hands and people who love you as family even after learning who you are/were#filling you with strength and willpower even as your goddess lover comes back swearing she loved you and loves you still#and she tortures you and threatens to take everything away again if you don't come back to her but because of your love for everyone#and their love for you youre able to hold fast long enough for them to break you out#his goddess made a copy of him by warping the body and soul of a naive young man in an attempt to replace him and fill the hole in her hear#he had to literally kill the darkest version of himself that hurt everyone and he laid him to rest... catharsis if ive ever seen it#as i said. im so normal about him <3 the guy i project onto the most ever#klaus lierstark
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HAPPY MANDY MONDAY (+ a bonus adam!)
#saw#saw 2004#amanda young#mandy monday#pigeon.img#adam stanheight#adam faulkner stanheight#saw movies#saw franchise#saw fanart#one murdered the other bc the universe knew theyd be too powerful#as besties#cannot BELIEVE this franchise got me drawing again#after a several month art block#my art#this took approx. 6 hours#and my hand hurts
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