#my ex rarely talks to me

[turgidscum]

i wish he was back in my bed. i wish he loved me again. oh god, i gave so much to him.

i wish i had never agreed to go on a date. i wish i didn't fall in love. fuck, i gave up so much of my life for him.

i don't hate my life. but i am so lonely.

[lgbtlunaverse]

After reading tons of people whose opinions I respect either hail it as essential reading or tear into it as abuse apolagia I have finally decided to actually read Conflict is not abuse" by Sarah Schulman and I gotta say, I think its message is really undercut by Sarah Schulman's apparrent belief that cutting someone off makes you the devil.

Like, for a book ostensibly about not overstating harm it is deeply ironic how apocalyptically it portrays the very mundane act of "not wanting to talk to someone." It's Childish. Tyrranical. Poisonous to individuals and entire communities alike. If you send someone an email asking them not to contact you anymore you are ruining your own ability to have healthy relationships with anyone. Ever. People like this should be forced into conversation with whoever they wish to avoid and it would be for their own sake because the mere act of not talking is so inherently harmful it cannot be allowed to occur, at any cost.

Every time the book says something I think is profound and useful and I start nodding along it is inevitably followed by a take that blocking someone on social media means you have the mental development of a toddler. Or that if someone is "hiding behind technology" (only wishing to talk to someone over the phone instead of face to face) this is a collective problem that the entire community needs to band together around to prevent, no matter what the person doing the "shunning" thinks. In the book's own words: "More and more people have to join in together to create change. The conversation is not over just because an escalator insists that it is."

As a reader, that attitude seems like the exact kind of militant overly paranoid thinking that a book like "Conflict Is Not Abuse" would want to prevent, but as I read further the overwhelming impression I get is that Sarah Schulman is actually fine with endlessly harangueing someone and turning their entire community against them, as long as it's for the crime of shit-talking your ex and not wanting to be around them.

[hybbat]

I do think a good chunk of the 'cringey atheist' stereotype did come from the fact that, especially americans, regardless of their actual religious status are just casually christian and refer to things through a religious filter and that isn't seen for how overwhelming/obnoxious/frustrating it is. Its absense, such as when writing a story and things like "oh god" or other casual references are remove or replaced, is seen as notable the same way people find the cast being all women or queer being 'abnormal'.

And I think more people, especially here on tumblr, should take a moment from ragging on some kid being "cringey" saying god doesn't exist or making atheist jump around like dancing monkeys to establish they're one of the good respectful ones before they ever even begin to talk about their own thoughts, and examine why so much content just inserts god into a conversation that had nothing to do with religion like it's the expected norm, the same way they examine the invasiveness of casual heteronormativity.

[hpdfag]

i need to ramble hold on. spawns in a cut so that people dont get blasted by unfiltered posting on their dash. i feel the need to disclaim that im only like 50% lucid right now so this might be disorganized or complete word salad i can't really tell right now

i love him so much it feels like it's consuming me from the inside out. i don't want to do anything that isn't for him. the only reason i haven't quit my job is because i want to make him proud of me. even playing games makes me guilty, because i know it's not with him. i married harvey in stardew. i ate the stardrop for getting 12 hearts as i kissed him. the taste reminded me of hinata. it's a strange irony.

this false body feels like it's trapping me, keeping me from achieving my true metamorphosis. there are streetlights glimmering in the distance. as i try to move towards them they always fade away. the morning will come in 7 hours and 43 minutes and the sun will rise and it won't blind me awake. i'm not reverent enough.

i should pray. not to jesus, not to any other false prophet. i should pray to Him. maybe that will bring me salvation? maybe that will free me from this hell? maybe it happened because i was unworthy of being one of his trusted apostles. if i was as holy as he was it would have been different, i would still have been beneath him but i would have served my divine purpose as his servant.

but that's not important. i dont think. im jor sure. i hate it. i hate Him. i feel like i should Worship him. there's a certain something i still havent fixed a glitch in my code i need ocean breeze summer sun beach sand shining brilliance he's perfect i need him i need warm sun and dry land i need to be with him on the floor i need to hold him i need need need need need need need.

more than air more than food more than clean clothes more than water more than anything else more than i need this terrible mortal life i need to become worthy for him of his love of his care of his touch i wont deny that i selfishly want him to hold me and touch me even though im unworthy even though im no more than dirt beneath him i desire him so deeply

[invinciblerodent]

brb, i have to go and. make strangled noises at nothing real quick; it just hit me over the head how Wyll's use of the metaphor of dancing as a stand-in for romance and intimacy really just. accompanies him all throughout his story, and how perfect it is

I guess I should have expected a character like him, that's both deeply poetic in his speech and courtly in his upbringing, would come to idealize a chivalric romance a bit, and translate his feelings on/of love to an element of courting that's as ritualistic and processional as ballroom dancing, but sometimes just realizing the obvious can really knock you off your feet for a second

like. just like how there is almost a blueprint to a perfect storybook romance in both stories and -consequently- in his head (I think romance might even be one of the literary genres with the highest number of unwritten rules that need to be fulfilled for a work to count as a romance), there is also a fairly strict method to a court dance. There is a series of well-known and practiced steps that was laid out in advance, and one is to perform them in succession, and in sync with one's partner. If one of the parties doesn't know or doesn't want to follow the rules/steps, it gets... tangled, messy, and you both stumble. The dance and the relationship both fall apart. The happy ending of a tale is not reached without all the steps in-between being followed, and he so dearly wants his fairytale ending, his happy, fulfilled love, I just---

it's such a perfect metaphor, and what makes it even more perfect is that Wyll is ostensibly aware of it, and he chose it, purposefully, and i don't want to watch the Act 3 commitment scene because I've not yet done it myself and don't want to spoil it, but I would be so surprised if he a.) made no mention of storybook romances, or b.) didn't just straight up propose y'know

i'm (metaphorically) crying, if it were possible to play this game on six different characters simultaneously without getting bored or confused I fucking would

[thebusylilbee]

I ate at the restaurant of the great mosque of Paris and it was so good ?? wtf im about to become muslim again

[corruptimles]

for kumo (50 silly headcanons game): 9, 11, 14, 41, 50

9. What are they weirdly good at?

Camera tracking and keeping it steady, even when panicking and chasing after his coworker. He's just really good at getting footage and it's the worst because they keep sending him out there

11. What are they irrationally freaked out by?

A lot? But maybe ppl asking about his past. They'll probably judge him negatively and forever change how they perceive him

context note: his past is actually pretty normal aside from dropping out of school

14. What are they petty about?

Not wanting anything in common with others so they have less reason to talk to him. Example: he would have his hair tied like Sunny sometimes and puts his hair back down immediately when he's near

41. What's a strong opinion they have on something pointless?

File and folder naming, but he doesn't act on this

50. What are they super embarrassed about enjoying?

Cutesy and colourful stuff, like clothing. Anything that might be too visually loud. He never goes to work with anything more than a colourful windbreaker

50 Silly Headcanons Ask Game List of my OCs

[lovelysakuryay]

yo why the fuck would you offer your home to me as an escape from a) my home life b) my brain but every time i ask you when i actually need to and not just to hang out it’s always no.

WHY EVEN OFFER THEN?

[sammygender]

obviously every roy sibling is incredibly cisgender but can you imagine if they weren’t. trans connor roy, so irrelevant that his dad probably forgot he was ever a girl? trans kendall roy, worlds first transmasculine absent father? trans sioban roy, determined to out-do her brothers via transitioning to female? trans roman roy— yeah i actually don’t have much to say about him i dont think his character would meaningfully change. notice i say ‘roy sibling’ because greg could theoretically be trans. like i don’t think he is but technically we’d like never know. idk. it’d kind of work. except for the fact that he’s 6’7

[woahajimes]

i feel so out of place

[gurorori]

ME TODAY & ME EVERYDAY

[phagodyke]

I was on the wikipedia page for phobias just for fun but just discovered theres an actual word for a fear of being touched.. 🥹

[abyssalpriest]

unrelated to that lmfao

i love being not (insert religions based on the kings and their people as ''demons'') but being adjacent to the communities while knowing the kings on a personal level because oh boy

[neonacidtrip]

Does anyone else occasionally see a news update from someone and just turn into a feral animal over it? Asking for a friend

[autism-swagger]

Dude why are all my friends convinced my parents are horrible people 😭😭

[bbunnybirdd]

i kind of feel like deleting my instagram but on another hand that's like the last window i have left to somewhat see what my old school friends are up to