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i dont want to get to know someone new. i was happy with you, not with where we were

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i'm so mentally fucked. we haven't been together for six months but it feels like it's only been a month, considering we just moved out a month ago... it fucking hurts man.

he's been so mean, but i keep having dreams that we get back together. that he'll realize that he made a mistake, that he does actually love me, that he wants to be with me and grow old with the cats we adopted together.

like fuck... we were together for years. he was my first love. i said he was my only love and that i got lucky with him. i thought i had. maybe i didn't.

i can't go anywhere without seeing memories we made together. it hurts so much. we never even got into a fight. he just decided out of nowhere that he wanted a woman... or maybe it wasn't out of nowhere. i just remember he was playing cyberpunk this time last year and was in a relationship with a man in the game... it couldn't have been out of nowhere.

i don't want to say that i still love him. it would be wrong of me to love someone who very clearly doesn't love me back. someone who said he was using me to pay the rent. someone who said i was feminine enough for him. someone who can barely look at me.

but i moved to this state for him. how could he not love me back> or if not love me, why doesn't he want to be friends with me? what the fuck did i do that was so wrong.

i'm 25 and i'm sadposting this shit. it's pathetic. i just wanted to be his forever. i would have been fine with anything. i told him no to tiny houses and that's when it ended. i said i didn't want to have two seperate houses and that's when he decided to end it.

i can't do this. i can't do it without him. i don't even know what part of me is me anymore.

did he like that? the codependency? he always said i should be more independent, but once i finally spoke up for myself and said i can't just be taken out and played with whenever he wanted like some kind of toy... he decided to break up with me.

it's pathetic. if anyone else was in my situation, i'd tell them to move on and live a better life. but i thought we would be together forever. i don't want to date again and go through another failed relationship.

maybe he resents me because he can't just tell his partners that he's always been into women. that i was a guy and he fucked me. that i fucked him. i don't know.

i hate myself for still loving him. i wish he loved me.

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If you are a person who hates men because they are men not only are you inherently alienating anyone queer person who identifies as a man but you are failing to hold the actual horrible men accountable for their actions.

Being a creep, a predator, a pervert, etc. is not inherent to being a man and thinking/saying that removes any sense of responsibility from the actual disgusting men who exist.

Call out the individuals so they can face the consequences of their actions, don’t just shrug it off as “well that’s how men are because they’re all terrible”. “

All men are evil” is just a round about way of saying “boys will be boys” and although both statements have different intentions they remove all accountability from those who deserve it.

And do not ever expect any trans man to change themself because you associate masculinity and manliness with being a predator. Love your trans brothers and embrace them as men or you don’t have the right to call yourself queer.

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To any trans man who needs to hear this: When they say they “hate all men” or want to “kill all men,” you don’t have to just accept that. It’s okay to feel hurt, it’s okay to feel unsafe. It’s okay to recognize that they are either othering your manhood or demonizing you for it, and to call them out for it if you’re in a position to. If they have trauma around men, they can work on that in private instead of expressing harmful sentiments around their marginalized male friends. You deserve love and safety. I love you and I hope I can help you feel safe.

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Dude I feel like us transexuals can never find true love, or at least almost impossible. I'm entering late 20's and this whole time I've been fine with being single and alone, but the solitude has gotten to me now and I'm tired of it. I want to be stealth but I also want a gf. I'm picky though and uncomfortable with my own body, I'm just not bf material. This really aint a life worth living, but I'm a coward to end it.

i've seen a lot of people who are trans and have amazing partners and love and everything, ie. jamie and shaaba. but it's not easy for a lot of us, myself included apparently. i was also resigned to dying alone and being okay with it until i met and fell in love with my ex, and now that he's gone, the lack of intimacy and love is physically breaking me.

i'm mostly stealth, but considering i don't have a dick yet, i've only been reduced to a bottom in sexual situations. my ex let me top maybe five times in total and only gave me anal once... and i hooked up with a transgirl recently who demanded she top and didn't do anal like i asked for. i feel transmen in particular are seen as submissive bottoms who just want to be fucked in the front and it's like... no. not really. but every time i've come out to someone in a sexual context, that's what ends up happening.

and now i see a bunch of early 20's men on r/phallo asking if it's too late for them to get bottom and i'm like... my guy, i'm 25 and nowhere near financially stable enough to get phallo. stop complaining and be grateful you have the opportunity.

anyways, i think it's possible for transsexuals to find love. it's just... difficult. and when we find love and lose it, it hurts even more.

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probably not the best time to say it but

happy birthday!

thanks lol. am i a little bitch baby for being sad that he hasn't texted me at all today? like i made this man his favorite birthday cake of all time and i can't even get a text.

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wait until these people Actually get off the internet themselves. every transmedicalist i know IRL is an adult and every adult trans person i know IRL is a transmedicalist.

agreed for the most part. i have run into a few people in my trans support group who are 100% tucutes - including the group leader - but the vast majority of us are transmeds. it absolutely is a medical condition, hence why medical treatment is required to reduce dysphoria.

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starting over a quarter of the way into my life if i'm lucky. more like a third. he won't wish me a happy birthday or even go out to dinner with me. i just don't want him to leave me. i understand that we aren't together, and while that hurts, i just want us to be friends. please i can't lose a friend again.

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No matter what happens to the rest of the League in the end, they will live on forever through Spinner.

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love elizabeth s.

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hey

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he moves out tomorrow. i was a phase. he's straight. i'm a fuckinf idiot for thinking it was anything more than a joke.

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quit my toxic job. i'm so relieved.

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