#my dog did this one day to my other dog
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Tw blood under the cut!!
I felt like animating this for some reason
#holy shit!! control your girlfriend!!#this fuzzy au has me brain rotting over it#like#oh my god feral girlfriends#and#feral everyone haha bite each other yes#kill kill kill kill#art#fanart#my art#original art#Splatoon#Splatoon au#Splatoon fuzzy au#Splatoon Frye#Splatoon shiver#blood tw#tw blood#gore?#my dog did this one day to my other dog#I wasn’t there#but I saw the chunk of ear on the floor and I almost fainted#idk#help
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Much of his misery were consequences of his own making. Danny accepted that. He drowned in it, really.
But this?
Jason stood before him, dressed in traffic cone colors in front of a still but apprehensive Batman. Jason- that was his baby brother, damn it, this universe’s version of his older sister!- hunched in on himself, knowing he had been caught and recognized. Danny’s world narrowed and crumpled onto itself, the bloodied face of his dead sister superimposed on Jason’s masked one.
This was all Batman’s fault.
Suddenly, he remembered all those time Jazz looked at him with terror in her eyes. She wasn’t scared of him. No, she was scared for him.
Looking back, Danny finally understood the fragile look in her eyes when he asked her- quietly, so his parents didn’t hear- to patch him up. He had broken her heart, had soured it with fear tempered by love. Danny stared at his baby brother- his sister, with that red hair and impossibly blue eyes and that kind but sharp wit- and realized with a sense of finality that he too was about to experience that heartbreak. He too would know the pain of watching some break themselves for a city they loved, a sense of responsibility he wished they didn’t have- one that he had, before it and grief tore everything away from him.
But Danny wasn’t willing to admit defeat. He would rather suffer another half death than let a life of vigilantism hurt his loved ones. The world could burn. He’d learned a long time ago what this life cost and Danny wasn’t going to lose Jason too.
He set down the bottle of wine with a loud and clear thunk. It was untouched. He hadn’t opened it, hadn’t had the chance to when the duo dropped down unsuspectingly on his apartment roof top.
“No,” Danny said, voice filled with crackling brimstone and spine laced with cold hard steel. It’s the voice he used when he fought Vlad. It’s the voice he had when he helped the Ancients shut Pariah Dark away. It was the voice he had when he begged Jazz to not die.
“Wait, Danny,” Jason- Robin, Batman put his little brother in bright kill-target clothes and named him after a fucking bird- pleaded. Danny cut him off, in a way he’s never done before. He loved it when Jason talked. It was a sign that Jason felt safe enough to talk about his interests and things he cared about without fear of retaliation.
“No,” he repeated, face carefully blank. Jason didn’t like aggressiveness. It reminded him of terrible days, so Danny watched himself around Jason, learning the neutral face and carefully non threatening body language until he did it like breathing. “We will be having words on the matter of you lying to me, sneaking out, and meeting up with a strange old man later. But you, Jason Peter Todd, are done with whatever this is right now. Go inside, change, eat, and wait.”
“You’re drinking again,” Jason mulishly said, though the stubbornness was dulled by his apprehensiveness. “I ain’t taking-”
“And I will apologize for that later. Home. Now, please.”
Jason paused. His eyes, surrounded by the fabric of a domino mask, surveyed Danny’s stance. He mumbled a gritted “fine.” With one last glance, Jason disappeared off the scaffolding- giving Danny half a heart attack because when the hell did Jason learn to do that? What if he got hurt??- and into the open window of his bedroom.
Danny kept eyes-to-lense contact with Batman the entire time.
“Close the window,” he called down to Jason, glaring at Batman the entire time.
He heard a curse mixed with grumbling before Jason closed the window with a thud.
Danny immediately rounded on Batman.
“You. How dare you trick my baby brother into all of this?” His eyes glowed a sickening green, hazy in the beginning of a drizzling Gotham rain.
“He would have done it with or without me. This way, he has support.”
“You? Support? You think that’s enough? You think you’re enough?” Danny stalked closer. He was stone cold sober now, and Batman was about to witness what he was capable of when he’s sober.
“I’m better than nothing,” Batman growled.
“No. You’re worse,” Danny snapped at him. The thing about heroes, current or former ones like Danny, was that they tended to know what made people tick. It was how they knew to comfort them, after all. Danny honed in, words brutal and cutting. “You encourage him, yes, but you encourage him to go into this life of yours like it’s a healthy thing to do. Without you, he’d be stopping muggings here and there. Maybe, he’d get in trouble with a crime syndicate. But you? You take a dip in the worst Gotham has to offer, and you expect it to never taint you? You think you’re protecting him but what you’re really doing is dragging him with you. The mud you track in will eventually drown my baby brother, Batman.”
Batman tilted his stupid pointy eared head. “You have experience with this,” he said quietly. A realization.
“You don’t know what it’s like to lose someone because you decided to pull him into this life. I do. So don’t fucking drag him into your fight because he deserves a chance at a life that won’t try its damn hardest to break him. Your self sacrifice and sense of justice will mean nothing to a dead boy.”
Because in the end, it hadn’t mattered for Danny.
Because in the end, he was still left bereft of the family he had and made, all because he chose responsibility.
Because in the end, the dead boy was Danny, but he was left alive enough to grieve.
Danny took a deep, wavering breath before whirling on his heels and marching back inside. Batman watched him walk away. He took a moment before walking down to their apartment.
——
Jason sat at their dining table, homework out and Robin mask laid carefully on the table. He’d changed into his pjs while Danny laid into Batman and seemed to be on his best behavior. Danny took a moment to lean against the doorway, quietly cherishing the last moments of peace he’ll ever know.
He needs your support, Jazz whispered into his ears.
He needs to not be a vigilante, Danny argued back. His throat missed the spice of the wine he’d yet to drink. But he’d promised not to drink around Jason.
And when had telling vigilantes no crime fighting ever work, dork? Jazz laughed. It certainly hadn’t worked with you, Invis-o-bill.
It made Danny’s heart ache something fierce and he didn’t think he’d ever stop missing his older sister.
I just… don’t want to lose him.
I know. Tell him that. But you will if you don’t support him. You will, because he’ll go off on his own like you did. Don’t do our brother dirty, Danny.
It probably wasn’t healthy to be talking to himself like this.
He walked into the room. Jason stiffened. Ah, he should have noticed. Jason always had exceptional spatial awareness, but recently he’d been even more so. Danny knew why, now.
He sat himself across from Jason, who set his jaw stubbornly. He couldn’t look Danny in the eyes, though, and kept fiddling the edges of his red “The Flash” themed pajama shirt.
Danny couldn’t bring it in himself to be anything but gentle, even in his anger.
“Do you want to tell me why you want to be… Robin?”
“Yeah, it’s Robin,” Jason crossed his arms, looking defensive. His fingers now drummed anxiously on the worn wooden table Danny had picked up for their kitchen/dining area. “I wanna help. Ya- y’helping but not enough. I gotta do more.”
Danny tried very very hard not to bury his face into his hands and scream. He did, however, make a dying whale noise that had Jason making offended faces.
“I thought Alley kids were supposed to have self preservation instincts?” Danny bemoaned.
“How d’ya think I’m still alive?” Jason shot back. “Robin’s magic. The other day-”
See, Danny had a plan. He did. He wanted to shut this down.
But as he watched Jason describe the crooks he took down and the people he’s helped, all he could see was Jazz, passionately advocating for improvements in mental health and how much she could help people. He saw the spark in Jason’s eyes, and could only think of Jazz’s heart and how Jason had inherited it and made it his own.
And, what hurts above all, is that Danny saw himself, before everything was ripped from him. Danny saw the hope that Jason carried, the care he had for others and it made him want to cry. Is this why Jazz hadn’t tried to stop him, all those years ago?
Was his choice to become Phantom not a choice that brought her despair but rather something that inspired his older sister?
“I ain’t the first Robin- but- I’m helping.” Jason said, desperate for Danny to understand. “I’m good at it.”
And he does- he does, but.
“You’re better than the first Robin,” Danny said, clearly without bias. Really, he was being fair about it. “You’re already my hero.”
And he was. Even from the moment they met, Jason’s small form, determined despite the fear, had inspired Danny to be better. To be what Phantom used to be.
“Y’re just sayin’ that.” Jason mumbled. “So… does this mean you’re gonna lemme be Robin?”
Danny hesitated. “The reason that I’m against it isn’t because I think you’re incapable.”
Then Danny told his little brother everything. Almost.
“I used to be a vigilante, a long time ago,” he began. Danny wove a tapestry of stories. He spoke of the scars he’d gotten, the things he’d seen and done to help, and more importantly, of the people he’s loved and lost.
“You remind me of my sister, Jay.”
“‘Cause I got red hair?” Jason asked quietly.
“Yes and more. You’re so brave, and your heart is so big. You want to help people at the roots. You care so much and you’re both incredibly intelligent.” Danny closed his eyes. “Losing her broke me. I’m not against you becoming a vigilante, Jay. I’m just scared about losing you and being a vigilante increases those chances.”
“I won’t die.” Jason promised.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Jay.” Danny leaned over and ruffled Jason’s hair. “But I know that you’re eventually going to go back to vigilantism eventually. That’s… that’s just kind of how it is.”
Danny hated it but he knew that he wouldn’t have listened at Jason’s age.
“But you haven’t.” Jason gripped his wrist. “Y’ain’t right?”
“What did you think happened to Charlie?”
Jason blinked. “Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.” Danny smiled, tired and sad but buoyant. He’ll be there for Jason like Jazz was for him. “I guess there’s only one choice left.”
“What’s that?”
Danny smiled mischievously. “I just gotta be a vigilante again. But don’t tell Batman. That asshole’s gotta suffer a bit.”
Jason giggled and Ancients, Danny could hear Jazz’s little snort in there. “Really?!”
“Yes. I’ll train you if you want. I gotta be out there to make sure you don’t die on me.”
“I won’t.”
This time, Danny actually believed it. Mostly because whoever tried to cross his little brother was about to find out why even the Ancients bowed when he got angry.
——
Jason: *is cute and happy Robin*
Criminals: *fear*
Jason: see that, Danny? They were so afraid of me! I’m super intimidating
Danny, who had been standing behind Jason and making silent threats at them like a demon from Constantine’s hell: yeah, baby brother you’re the scariest, I’m so proud of you
Me, trying to write Danny and Bruce getting along: *challenge failed*
Listen, Danny has too much fight me you rich weirdo vibes
#dcxdp#alley drunk! danny au#dpxdc#danny phantom#jason todd#batman#sorry I wanted to make it longer and have danny be against it#but unfortunately sad Danny is weak to puppy dog eyes and sad Jason#dp x dc crossover#seriously it was supposed to be angstier#like Jason dies and Danny buries him screaming over his grave#and he slips back to alcoholism but then realizes that Jason would have wanted that#and then one day he figures out that Jason isn’t in his grave#and goes hunting for him#they keep missing each other and when they meet#it’s red hood and severely depressed Danny#Danny would have been like I’m so glad you’re back#and Jason would have been like wtf how did you get worse#and Danny would hit him with the Jason you’re my little brother and I love you and losing you broke me all over again
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skk relationship reveal where Dazai sends this picture to the ADA group chat without context and shuts off this phone before the group chat explodes.
#big sums of money were exchanged that day#Mori gets a similar picture except Dazai is holding up two middle fingers instead of none#reimagining of a drawing I did a year ago#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bungo stray dogs#soukoku#bsd fanart#bsd dazai#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#bsd chuuya#chuuya nakahara#my art#also they are using one of those inverted cameras which is why they hold up what seems to be their right hands but it’s their left hand#(which is why Chuuya’s hair is parted that way instead how it’s usually parted in my other artworks <- I’m pretending this did not happen#on complete accident since I mirrored another drawing as reference for the hair 👍)
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I tried resizing this a million times to Tumblr’s recommended specifications, and it just refuses to post clear, so sorry it’s blurry. =‘)
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#skylldraws#Yesterday i was walking my dog and one of the lesbians that live around the block approached me#She was looking for her dog that escaped her yard#I told her I’d keep a look out and i actually did find the dog several minutes later and got it back into her yard#Closed the fence and told her wife and all was good#Then i went to the movies and got dinner with my husband to celebrate our anniversary#Came home and found out someone tried to assassinate trump#Then I said “wow” and proceeded to draw gay anime shit#I guess what I’m saying is I had a fairly eventful day yesterday#Nothing like rescuing lesbians celebrating love and living through a historical event all in one day#Anyway#here are the boys#Izu is learning a lesson about negative self talk#Sometimes it makes other people feel bad!#Tddk#tododeku#bnha#todoroki x midoriya#shouto x izuku#tddk fanart#todoizu#todoroki x deku#tdiz#Izushou#bnha fantasy au#quirkless midoriya izuku#tddk comic#Tododeku comic
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For being the only animals in the crew do Dribble and Spitz go to a regular doctor like everyone else or do they go to a vet? (This question was on my mind for a while-)
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Yeah
#doodles#warioware#did you read my mind because I was just the other day thinking about the animal situation in warioware#and how weird it is. Because at first you take it at face value right. You have humans and you have furries and they both pay taxes.#But in warioware twisted joe tells you that he's one of the only “working dogs” in his family and that most of his family are pets. WHAT!
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hey *throws toxic tragic kiburi x ushari au at you*
kiburi wants to become the leader of his float. a snake has some bigger ideas for him. ushari says that kiburi can become leader of the pridelands too, then crocodiles will finally be respected to his standards. ushari wants respect for all reptiles. kiburi doesn't mind that. he believes him.
the plan fails, and he has nothing but his friends now. kiburi finds ushari, who offers him something in return for keeping his life. kiburi should kill him, but he doesn't.
kiburi meets scar, who ushari has complete trust in. if he follows scar, he could rule someday. with ushari by his side, reptiles could finally be respected. trusting him is working in his favour.
the army never wins. kiburi can feel every bruise, cut and scrape that doesn't have a chance to heal. he can see the weariness in his float from fighting every day. the pressure is destroying them all. ushari never gains a single tear in his perfect scales. scar rants and rages about how the army isn't good enough. ushari never has to face scar's wrath. maybe he was wrong to trust him, but there's no turning back now, there is nothing else. and traitors are no better than dead.
janja turns against them. he survives their attempt to kill him and finds happiness somehow. there is no peace for the army, so they're sure he was never really one of them. kiburi doesn't feel any guilt. scar promises this is the last battle to win the pridelands. ushari is sure of it, so kiburi is too.
and he was right. the army wins the very moment that ushari's venom infects kion's mind. there is nothing that the pridelanders can do. for once, there is victory for the army. for once, there is peace.
fire quickly takes over every patch of land in sight. all of it is theirs. kiburi's float will never have to get another wound again. they will never have to go hungry again. they will never have to share again. they will never be unhappy again. kiburi is glad he trusted ushari.
until all the lands had nothing left. there isn't enough water. his float are gone. kiburi barely manages to get by. this is all ushari's fault. such a smart snake should have known better.
ushari tricked him. those comforting words of ruling the lands were all false promises. everything was a lie, it must have been. scar's reign meant nothing could survive. such a smart snake should have known that.
ushari betrayed him, so kiburi makes sure he brings justice.
#not my best writing but#this au came to me and i HAD to write it out#for full disclosure i was inspired by I'm Your Man by Mitski <3#“i'm an angel you're a dog” but it's kiburi being entranced by ushari and doing all the hard work in the army#“you believe me like a god i destroy you like i am” but it's the army believing in scar's cause even when it's destroying them#in kiburi's case because ushari tricked him into the army#“one day you'll figure me out i'll meet judgement by the hounds” but its kiburi realising he was tricked all along#obviously its scar's fault not ushari's but kiburi believes that ushari MUST have known#so the angst is in that ushari DIDN'T know this would happen. he was tricked too#but kiburi is in so much grief and rage that he thinks ushari did this on purpose. so he goes after him to kill him#gosh that lyric is so vivid to me i wish i could draw amvs ANYWAY CONTINUING-#“you believe me like a god i betray you like a man” but its kiburi confronting ushari. he really did believe him like a god#but kiburi thinks ushari turned against him. ushari doesn't understand#he thinks that they've both been betrayed by scar . which is mostly true but not in kiburi's eyes#so he tries to attack ushari and in defense ushari bites him thus they both betray each other 👍#tlg you are not immune to my dark angst AUs#fueled by mistki songs apparently 😔🙏#still not over kiburi x ushari apparently#tlg au#kiburi x ushari
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Last night, my dog was across the yard, saying hello to my neighbor. My mom was talking to the neighbor and trying to call her back so she'd stop sniffing him. I put up a hand to my mom and said, "Let me try," and in what is probably the proudest and most wholesome moment of my entire life, I call my dog to me and she immediately comes sprinting towards me, as if she hadn't seen me in 20 years, with her ears flopping in the wind and her tongue also flopping in the wind. I've never seen her run that fast towards anything in my life.
I love my dog so much sometimes that I just want to hug her and never let go. ❤️
Here is a picture so that you can love her, too!
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#to the best dog I know 🥂#(no offense to my other dogs)#(but they don't come running to me with their ears flopping in the wind)#(instead they shit on my bed while im sleeping 😭😭😭)#(well one of them did and it was the day before my first day at a new job)#(seriously Yogi wtf)#(anyway i genuinely love all my doggos; they are my children and i would die for them)#dogs#cute dogs#wholesome
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Ok I know I'm heavily biased here but like I kinda love that Astarion's romance is one of the few in this type of video game where you basically end up canonically unmarried and childfree in his "good" ending? Just travelling the world??
Like it's honestly the millennial dream lmfaoo cannot believe i chose what would undoubtedly be my favorite option, first try
#also love that he's basically atheist like ok thanks you made the man exactly coded to be my type#and the humor and beautiful curly hair is very much something my IRL partner has too so like... how can i resist#anyways not sure a lot of people relate cause i think a lot of people want that fairytale romance#even tho wyll is right there yall#but i love me an unconventional or nontraditional one!!#i'm TIRED of being married with children as the endgame pls let's not do it#also a lot of people seem into him being a dad and im like... how? why? where in canon did he ever lmfao#more power to ya if you dig it but i just dont see it being in character#like in DAI i loved cullen and my inquisitor getting married and having a dog#and they seem the type to wants kids one day. but Tav & Astarion? lol no#i just think it's neat#is this a hot take? i have no idea but i don't see it mentioned a lot as a new fan tbh#pls do not come at me you can enjoy whatever you like#i haven't seen the ascended stuff so idk if being his 'consort' is like being his bride#but i feel like overall it's not and the vibe isn't all that different in this sense#except that you're hosting evil parties instead of travelling :/#Astarion#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3#also YEA he's nice to Arabella but you can tolerate certain kids without wanting one or being 'good parent' material#case in point: me lmfao#OKAY update i saw the AA stuff and yeah you're kind of implied vamp married and he does mention spawn as children 😫#but he also says in banter he won't make any other spawn??? so what is it dude#anyway that's also clearly the “bad” route and he doesn't seem as happy as unascended#who feels “truly free”#and if you're durge I'm pretty sure its even worse to consider having kids?? lol#but i digress#pk plays bg3
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dog boy date: going to the park together and getting distracted and excited mid sentence whenever you see a squirrel (there are many squirrels in the park)
#i did this and it was one of the best days of my life#dogkin#dog kin#caninekin#wolfkin#dog therian#dogboy#puppykin#wolf therian#pet regression#sfw petre#theriantropy#theriantrope#therian community#therian things#therian#alterhuman#nonhuman#otherkin#other kin#kinning
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Me, episode 1: Oh, a relatable protag! And a relatable female protag, at that. Sweet! That never happens.
Me, a few episodes in: Wait, the protag really is going to be my character? The one I identify with the most? Seriously? It's not going to be a strange, at least somewhat sinister, seemingly hostile male side character? It's gonna be a female character and the protagonist? That's insane, that literally never happens... what's the catch??
Me, more than halfway through the season: ... huh, I guess Maomao really is it. Okay, then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Me to myself, after episodes 22/23:
#i let my guard down#i should have known#like really i should know better by now lmao#that's probably the best depiction of prosopagnosia i've seen in fiction ngl#also luo//men's suggestion re: using other attributes to tell people apart??#A++ approach what a guy#mine isn't nearly as severe but i totally use footsteps/gait/mannerisms as my primary means of distinguishing people#the very few people i care about i can definitely recognize by facial features#and people i see frequently; though i do have trouble recognizing them if they appear in a context i'm not used to#like. if i were to see one of my sword classmates at my workplace for instance i would have trouble recognizing them#but anyone else? forget it#the most difficult part of working veterinary front desk was returning animals to their owners#bc even though i could have /just/ spoken with the owners like. ten minutes ago#i couldn't tell you which animal belonged to which owner#faces just don't register with me#dogs were easier in that i'd just let them lead me to their owners#but if it was a cat in a carrier i was fucked lmaooo#it's why if there was another receptionist working i'd let them handle any hand offs XDD#i don't remember most of my childhood but i have some very vivid impressions of moments like#my mother asking me to go give a cash tip to the hairdresser who did her hair and me being unable to pick who it was out#of everyone that was working even though i'd been there with them for two plus hours.#or like. taking the school bus home and being unable to recognize my bus monitor and so getting on the wrong bus#and also getting ridiculed about this by my parents lol. ah good times.#on the other hand i can easily recognize a dog i've met once or twice even years later. and remember their name.#i think it all mostly comes down to disinterest for me. i've tried to change this but it's just how i am#so. he's very relatable. painfully so#also the pragmatism and rationality and hyperfixating on things.#i've never hyperfixated on another person tho and i am so grateful for that every single day#i know in my bones it would be an absolute disaster XD#withoutwords
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sigh. i think i just do not like dogs very much lol
#just me hi#don't kill me but they are not for me#and i think our dog is alright :) but i am glad he's not mine jfshvh#i'm nervous and unsure about them every time i interact and i don't know why!#tried to tell my mother that at least and she just kinda brushes me off ? so i guess i'll just have to contend with this lol#he's still being trained but i dunno. don't think that kind of animal is for me#which sucks cuz i really did want to like them!! but they're confusing and a bit annoying and a decent sprinkling of scary#and he's a PUPPY. this is the goofiest problem ever jfsvhjfh#+ the dog at work still makes me nervous too.. this is a very Blahhh situation lol#'you've just gotta learn to stop being scared of them' but that Does mean that i have to interact with them more. and it seems#every time i do i just get more nervous ?? urgh#guess i'm not for dogs ! oh wells!#//and in other news why is it that every weekend i do not hesitate to obliterate my sleep schedule Lmfshvjfh#like without Fail it's actually crazy#//OH and it snowed a couple days ago too btw !! like almost a foot of snow i believe which is cool :D#i walked to work and it was fuuuun i enjoyed it :D#though i didn't get a chance to take pictures bc they'd plowed the road by the time i got out </3 it was so cool though !!#//oh also we were playing one of our story games last night w/ siblings :3#it's our longest-running one (it's been ongoing for maybe over a year or so! wild) and the amount of stuff that has Happened is so much Lol#i think last night they helped free half-a-town's worth of people from mine work (the mine turned out to be a crater from a Wish that hadn'#come true so they were mining the tiny shards of the wish-star bc they still have the chance to grant veeery small wishes!) and then also#got the guy that had kidnapped and enslaved them (for ransom + tax reasons) killed “by accident”#/they got into even more arguments with the other characters they're traveling with-#/OH chess also almost strangled one of those guys to death in the mine Lmaooo#there was a whole moment when he realized i was dying jfsvjgh#//yea though i have got to go get some thangs done though..#my dad used all the hot water so i'm just. waiting... stewing.... sauteeing...... gently marinating.............#ooeeoo#yea though !! hope i can work on some ideas i have today !! let's cross hands and hold fingers. wait#anywho Yea i'm gonna get on that 💥 CIAO
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if my parents keep talking to me im going to (remembers that suicide jokes are bad for mental health) go outside and dig a hole to narnia
#borbtalks#'borb u got a letter from vsp. why are you paying for vsp. i dont think u need it bc of xyz. oh you're getting mail from y insurance?#they're a good company. im also covered under them. are they cheaper than ur previous one? they must be. did u know medicare has a page#online where u can compare all the plans? well did you? ik you've been on medicare longer than me but idk if you knew :/#sooo do u have a valid drivers license? oh when did u get it renewed? when does it expire? we were looking at car insurance earlier...#oh btw when are they gonna reevaluate u for disability? do u know? when did they last reevaluate u? when do they reevaluate others?#ANYWAY. what if i brought over x's dog. the dog that stresses ur cats out so much that they puke everywhere and spend all day hiding :)#wdym it'll stress [cat] out. what if he. didn't get stressed? :)'#like SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP#cant even walk into the bathroom without her trying to talk to me. can't make dinner w/o her trying to talk to me#and of course im the bad guy in telling her not to stress the cat out#just by saying 'vet says he's not supposed to get stressed out. he's at a higher risk for blockage if he does#which will KILL him.'#same woman who sat next to me while i was the phone w/ the phone company. petting the cat and whispering 'oh borb abuses u doesn't he?#maybe ill just steal you away one day. keep u away from borb. oh yes borb treats u oh so horribly.'#and my dad. sitting on the other side of me. said absolutely nothing.#i get it. im the family's designated fuck up!! the designated brat !!!! and no one gives a shit if my feelings get hurt !!!!!!!#i swear. my mother could smack me and everyone would rush to her side and comfort her stinging hand
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maybe i'm just a failure of a person but working full time means i genuinely have trouble keeping my damn place clean not to mention make doctor appointments so i put them off for weeks but it's fine it's all good lol
#like the past two weeks its also just bc of constant extreme migraines for sure#& that happened to be in the same time period my dog reacted badly to new wet food i got her so she spent 4 to 5 days shitting on the floor#so that did a number on me lol and i have not been doing any cleaning other than cleaning after her those couple days and so now its like#oh my god theres so much to clean and dirty laundry and cutlery i didnt bother washing immediately#anyways ignore this i needed to vent a little bc im exhausted and idk when im gonna do this now bc i have only two free days#until this month ends#and not in a row#and one is for vet visit with my dog#so.
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good morning. thinking again of juve and her dog
#oreste garifalle save me. save me oreste garifalle (he cannot even save himself)#i just.. man its so over. by the time they encounter each other juve is the worst shes ever been & oreste doesnt yet know he could be better#so. sure. juve needs to gather the pieces of herself back up and double down on her coping mechanisms but not thinking at all about whats#happened to her/how she was affected by it and by instead fixating on someone elses problems. she needs to offer drive and direction to#another in order to feel more in control of herself#and luckily for her unluckily for himself. by the time she finds him. oreste is only Just stumbling out of a gothic pseudoincest nightmare#in which all of his own wants and desires have been very deliberately placed on a shelf higher than he can reach and hes all too eager#to accidentally replicate previous dynamics (dog) with someone new#so. tldr. juve needs to control/'fix' someone and oreste as of yet only knows how to be controlled/molded in anothers image#which would already be so bad except to top it off. juve is steadily fucking losing it. due to the repression crimes#and even as she tries to distance herself from the emotional aftermath of what she went through. it bleeds into the way she treats oreste#instead. like.#her base level dehumanization of him would already be bad but. as is. in the way it finds her.#juve completely lacks the finesse or grace or awareness to approach it as she normally would#so she instead traps them both in this horrible codependent situation where her 'fixing' oreste mostly involves her going oh! i know!#your problem is that youre not in touch with your anger right? you should be angry about what those guys did to you but youre not rigjt??#so!! easy fix!! lets just get you angry!!!#<- girl who is not entirely wrong but has also never processed any of her own anger a day in her life and Will be projecting#<- girl who will treat you both as a metaphor/extension of herself but Also as a recreation of the previous dynamic she was in with an#excessively angry individual#<- girl who decides the best way to put you in touch with your anger again is by. repeatedly triggering you until you protest#essentially bending your finger back and waiting to see which will come first. you letting it break or begging her to stop#and oreste is always too deeply traumatized and overwhelmed to do anything but let it break. so.#notnow#juve mizani#oreste garifalle#one of my favorite scenes i have planned for them is her making oreste relay what his abuser (kai) looked like. in detail.#as a skinshifter herself.#you see where this is going.#you should send me asks about them btw. if you want. also if you dont
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some people will be all about mental health awareness and leftist ideals of at least tolerating the mentally ill who show ''ugly'' symptoms until it's someone they know and ''care'' about having a bad day and acting like it in a way they don't find appealing
#[temporary text post tag]#vagueing about irls#everybodys your friend until one time youre too tired to act right after getting yelled at first thing in the morning#worst thing is i trusted her enough to tell her shit none of my other friends know about#liek i genuinely believed we were friends and i wasnt just an accessory so she wouldnt feel lonely and could vent to someone about whatever#now im really wondering if all the shit she told me about other people was real or if she just ditched them as well after they-#- acted emotionally in a way she didnt like#like im sorry people have bad days and sometimes act in none cutesy ways#at this point idk if the few times i did tell her im feelin like shit she took it seriously or just thought i was joking#im kinda assuming the second one#like she did feel and act fairly progressive - she'd often talk about acceptance and understanding#i don't even think she sees this situation as dropping a 'freind'#she's prolly gonna find a way to justify it somehow idk#point is im hurt and need a drink#she even vaguely texted me like 'if someone you knew hurt someone you care about would you try to fix it with them or just block them?'#like not even confront me and say 'you hurt someone i care about so now im ending things'#or just tell me to fuck off or call me a piece of shit#i feel after a year and all of the 'youre a good friend' shit that maybe i was at least entitled to a 'fuck off kys' text and then a block#i shouldve dropped her first - save us both some time#honestly i dont even think she thinks about this at all#im probably just sulking like a kicked dog while she does whatever the fuck it is she does#she probably didnt even care about my side of the story#why would she#honestly she always did most of the talking#i was just there to listen and sometimes make a joke for her to laugh at i guess#like i didnt know i was signing up for a '1 strike and youre out' type deal lmao
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I have Got to get more transgender
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#transmasc#trans ftm#transgender#i like 2 say i'm very trans already but unforch i am Not Really. mostly boring ftm Guy Ever#so tempted to cut my hair again but my sense of what i look like is already so fuzzy i dont think it'd help..#want to dye my hair anyways. at this point i'd take whatever color i can get if not purple LOL#it's almost everything i could want and yet ... still me. still the same life. stuck.#soooo high functioning like you wouldnt believe EXCEPT istg i need an emotional support human who will guide me through tasks#such as 'pay with your Moneys Card at the Store'#or... idk that's it really. maybe go grocery shopping without feeling like i'm not meant to be there also#or like. exist in general maybe#reasons why not emotional support Animal: creature cannot understand capitalism. and also is not as necessary as a service dog specifically#idk! every time i come on here i fall apart (in text) and then pull myself back together for another day of ... this i guess.#i'm not even having like crying breakdowns or anything to go along with it i'm just held inside this shell of a body. typing away again#i'm soso tempted to make things worse. progress wouldn't matter anymore... at least maybe it would feel real that i'm like this#i wish my face fit on my body right. and also that i did not look quite so much like a vaguely gnc lesbian#like at LEAST let me look butch as hell but no. curse of sad hair & uncertainty#miss my little mullety thing from that brief period in october... miss my short hair from back in 2017 ...#just dont feel satisfied with what i am now. in general.#top surgery is literally Within my reach but i'm not sure about cost and i need to wait because of doing guard now......#my list of do i want t i kept for the past month turned out to be a bunch of maybes#partially cause i got sick. partially cause it stopped being shark week and i forgot about it#as always happens...#still unsure in my new(er) name. only heard it once#didn't feel the same way as with my old one? but idk. just don't know.#missing guard also but feeling conflicted about not having time for other hobbies...#since winter season is over i've had so much time to play guitar! that's insane! mostly cause i stopped playing for unrelated reasons...#just tired again. wonder if i need more sleep than what i always get. kind of restless.#there's nothing else to say i guess. just wish i could be a person the way everyone else seems to be.
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