#my boy jake this is fucked up what theyre doing to you this is like nightmare cocomelon levels U got the sensory overload

[lohstandfound]

ignore this.

learning to shut up when i dont have anything new to say to the discussions my mutuals are having about the treatment of the female characters in this show and fandom

even though ive just gone ahead and rambled in the tags a bunch of bullshit

[eebie]

NAUOUUUU

[jwonsite]

“happy birthday, pretty boy” - sim jaeyun

part 2 of e(nnn)- (a nnn series)

pairing: switch!jake x switch!fem!reader

warnings: oral (f&m receiving), making out, 69 position, lingerie mentioned, idk what else to put help me

synopsis: while your boyfriend is trying his hardest to win a bet made by his best friends to not have sex for a month, you couldn’t help but give him a little show on his birthday

masterlist!

"jake i'm telling you right now there's no way you're winning that ps5"

"you really have that little faith in me?!"

"have you met yourself? last week you begged me to let you eat me out because you were 'pussy deprived' while i was on my period. it had been 3 days."

your boyfriend sighed in defeat, knowing you were right. but was it really his fault? you were just so perfect, he could never get enough of you!

"well i'm going to prove you wrong, just watch. on december 1st when i'm collecting my ps5 from sunghoon i'll remind you of this very moment," jake said, crossing his arms as he dramatically turned away from you

you laughed to yourself, rolling your eyes at his dramatics. you knew your boyfriend, and you knew there was absolutely no way that he was lasting this entire month, especially with his birthday being a few weeks away. he can tell himself whatever he wants, but you both know in the end, he's not getting that ps5.

______________________________________________________________

it had been two weeks and he was honestly doing way better than anybody expected. everyday the boys waited for a text message saying he lost, some even placing further bets on how many hours days he could last before he lost

"can you believe them?! i was on the phone with hoon earlier and i heard heeseung give jungwon money after saying i lasted longer than he thought! i can't believe theyre making bets on me, like, am i really that horny?" he complained to you as you were eating dinner together

"in their defense, you are a pretty big man whore. i mean, have you seen the videos of yourself from the concerts? licking your lips, showing your abs, grinding the air, they definitely aren't wrong for thinking that. plus i am 100 percent sure they have heard us have sex in the dorms multiple times", you said back to him. everybody knows that jake practically lives off of sex. not in a weird way, but you just energize him so much. with so much stress of being an idol, getting to come home and fuck his frustrations out, or eat you out for hours until you're overstimulated, it's an instant destresser

"well, yeah but, they could at least have a little more confidence in me", he said with a pout, continuing to eat the food you had made for him earlier

"okay you big baby", you said with a laugh, getting up to take your empty plate to the sink to wash

your boyfriend followed soon behind with his empty plate, slightly pushing you out of the way and taking the sponge out of your hand to wash the dishes for you. you smiled at him fondly as you moved to sit on the counter directly next to the sink. you sat and admired your boyfriend, looking so domestic as he washed the dishes in your apartment. you looked forward to the day that he could finally move in with you full-time, after the pressures of being an idol aren't so heavy

"you're staring, pretty girl", he said with a smirk, not moving his attention from the plates in front of him

"yeah cause you're just so handsome", you said not being able to hold back your smile

he giggled a bit at your statement before refocusing on the task in front of him

"so!" you said, clapping your hands together, "what are we doing tomorrow, birthday boy?"

"i didn't really have any plans in mind, probably hang with the boys for a bit, get dinner or whatever then come back and chill here with you. nothing too crazy", he said nonchalantly, turning of the sink and drying his hands as he finished washing everything

"are you serious? its your 21st birthday jakey, you have to do something!" you said, wrapping your arms around his neck as he stood between your legs. because you were sitting on the counter you were eye level with him. he put his hands on your thighs as he looked at you with a smile

"yeah yeah i know but... i dont know. not really in the going out mood, id rather just chill and spend it here with you", he said moving his face close to yours, noses rubbing together. you hummed as you closed the gap between you both, lips molding together as your hands played with the hair at the nape of his neck. he pulled away, rubbing your noses together once more before standing back to look at you

"you sure you don't wanna go out somewhere tomorrow? nothing at all you can think of?" you asked once more, intertwining your hands together

"nothing, i promise. we can go out to eat with the boys and then come back and have a movie night or something. just wanna be with you", he said with a smile. you flushed at his words. even after dating for so long he never failed to make you flustered

"okay, now come on pretty boy let's go to bed, i'm tired", you said, wrapping your arms and legs around your boyfriend to signal him to carry you to your bedroom. he laughed and shook his head before putting his hands under your thighs and picking you up, walking to your room

______________________________________________________________

the next day was filled with multiple surprises for your boyfriend, waking him up to breakfast in bed, giving him a beautiful white gold bracelet you had found for him a few weeks ago, the boys showing up early to your house to give him the gifts they had bought him before all going out to dinner together that night.

you all had a great time, talking and laughing loudly for hours, probably annoying the rest of the patrons in the restaurant. your boyfriend thanked his friends, as well as you for making his birthday such a fun day, but what he didn't know was that you had one more surprise for him.

you had been planning this for a while, being very glad he opted to staying in for his birthday as it helped your plan go smoother. you knew he had that bet with his friends but, we all knew he was gonna lose at one point or another, so why not have it be on his birthday? he wasn't even a big gamer anyways, it wasn't like he would be super disappointed if he didnt get the gaming console.

you were gonna make some excuse to get him back to your place, changing into your brand new black lingerie set you got specifically for this occasion. you knew he loved when you wore black, since it was one of his favorite colors. you hoped the lingerie set would get him to break, giving up on his bet with his friends

after dinner was paid for (thank you jay🙏🏼), your boyfriend bid goodbye to his friends, walking back to your car with you

you drove home in a comfortable silence, his hand on your thigh as you looked out the window, music lowly playing in the background. you were getting excited for your plans, feeling the heat in your core grow as you slightly shifted in your seat

"you okay babe?" jake asked, looking at you slightly

"yeah, i'm fine" you said with a smile, grabbing his hand off your thigh to intertwine it with yours, as the close proximity to your core was getting you more worked up than you already were

you thought you were being slick, but your boyfriend knew about this whole ordeal. he had accidentally seen the lingerie in your dresser, and when he didnt recognize it he figured you had bought it for this reason. and after seeing the way you tried to hide yourself getting worked up during dinner, snd in the car next to him just now, confirmed his suspicions. he smiled to himself before focusing back on the road, feeling your stare on the side of his face. usually he would tease you, but right now he wanted nothing more than to get you home and fuck you til you can't walk

the ride back to your apartment felt longer than usual, your arousal continuing to pool in your panties the more you thought about the night to come. you finally arrived, and jake got out the car quickly to open the door for you, helping you out of the car. he grabbed your hand as he led you inside. he unlocked the door to your apartment, letting you go in first, following behind closely

before you knew it, you were pushed up against your front door, your boyfriends lips clashing with yours passionately as his hands roamed over your body

your eyes widened in surprise, not expecting him to be the one to initiate the intimacy. you soon melted into your boyfriends arms, wrapping your arms around his neck to tangle in his hair as your tongues clashed in each others mouths. he picked you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist, not breaking the kiss as he walked to your bedroom, placing you down on the bed, leaning back to take of his shirt, throwing it across the room before coming back down to kiss you again

"fuck, jakey, what about your bet?" you moaned out as he moved his lips down your neck and chest

"first of all, fuck the bet. second of all, you think i didn't know all about your little plan for tonight? that pretty little lingerie set that you bought just for me. lucky for you, i'm gonna let you save that for another day, right now i just wanna feel you around me" he said as he continued to leave open mouthed kisses down your neck and chest, putting his hands up your shirt to massage your breasts over your bra

you moaned as you moved your hands to take off your shirt, sitting up for a second to lift it over your head, discarding it somewhere in your room

jake moved further down your chest now that he had more access, taking one of his hands to unbuckle your bra skillfully, like he had done it a billion times

after your bra was off, he moved his mouth down to suck your nipples, licking and kissing then as he used one of his hands to roll your other nipple between his fingertips. your hands were in his hair, pulling and tugging on it slightly, making him moan into your breasts, sending vibrations all through your body

"baby please, i need you so bad" you moaned out, becoming impatient

"so needy, my baby. can't believe i was gonna make you wait a whole month without my dick" he said, kissing down your body as he made his way to where you were craving him most

"wait", you said, putting your hand on his head to stop his motions. you put your hand under his chin to pull him back up to your face, before pushing him over so he was under you

he gasped at the sudden movement before smirking at you, immediately putting his hands behind his head

"wanna take care of my pretty boy" you said as you moved down to his dick, kissing and lick his defined abs on the way down. you unbuttoned his pants, pulling them down off his legs before cupping his clothed dick in your hands

he moaned out at the feeling as you palmed him through the thin fabric of his underwear, cursing lowly under his breath

"please don't tease princess, it's been way too long i need to feel your mouth around me already" he said with a whine

"whatever my birthday boy wants" you said, slipping your fingers into the sides of his boxers, sliding them down his thighs. his dick sprung up from the fabric, stand so tall and prettily. you swear his dick was the prettiest one in the world, the veins going up the side were just so perfect, he wasn't bigger than average, but he was so thick, and his tip was so red and pretty, already leaking precum

he groaned as he was finally released from the constraints of any fabrics, moving his hands down to tangle in your hair

you took his dick in your hands as you slowly licked all the way from the base to the tip, your boyfriend moaning out loudly as you did so. you began to suck his tip gently, licking his slit and tasting his precum on your tongue

"fuck, baby, you said anything i want right? i want you to sit on my face please. you take my dick so well in your mouth but i want to taste you too. please baby", he whined out as you continued to suck only the tip. you smiled up at him before standing up to remove your pants and underwear

"of course pretty boy, it's your night" you said as you climbed onto the bed seductively, moving your legs over your boyfriends head so you were hovering above his mouth. you could feel his warm breath on your pussy, and his nose rubbing against your clit. you moaned slightly as you leaned forward to take his dick into your moth again

you began sucking on it harshly, before feeling jake pull your hips down harshly, suffocating himself with your pussy. he was licking and sucking on your clit so well, you could barely concentrate on what you were doing. you continued to bob your head up and down over his cock as he keep eating you out, your moans being muffled by his dick. the vibrations of your moans over his dick made him approach his orgasm faster than usual, already feeling his stomach tighten and his dick twitching in your mouth. he didn't want to cum before you, so he started to speed up his actions, hands tightly gripping your thighs, probably leaving a mark tomorrow

he heard your moans get higher in pitch, and your hips began to grind onto his face slightly, signaling you were close. you continued moving up and down on his dick, hands massaging his balls as you felt his dick twitch in your mouth. your orgasm hit you hard, hips bucking onto your boyfriends face as you tried to continue sucking on his dick, becoming too distracted on by your own orgasm hitting you. jake didn't stop his ministrations, riding you through your orgasm, making sure to lick up every last drop of your juices. your hand continued to move up and down his dick, and you moved your head back down to his dick so he could come too. not long after he was cumming in your mouth, moaning into your pussy sending vibrations and overstimulating you

you gathered all his cum into your mouth, sitting up and turning around so he could see your face as you swallowed it. that was one of his favorite parts when you sucked his dick, getting to see you swallow his load

his hands moved to your waist as you sat over his abs, feeling your juices spread over his stomach. you leaned down to kiss him, and he practically got hard again tasting himself on your lips. you smiled into the kiss as you pulled away, biting his lip before you pulled away and let go

"happy birthday, pretty boy"

you rolled off his stomach to lay next to him, turning your head to look at him with a smile. he looked back at you, returning the smile fondly. he rolled to the side to cuddle into you, but you put a hand on his chest to stop him before he could

"you thought we were done baby? oh no, were just getting started"

a/n: GUYS FINALLY I KNOW ITS OUT AHHHHH. i wrote this all in one sitting cuz i was determined to finally get it out for you guys after weeks of not being able to😭 i hope you guys enjoy, and sorry it’s a little short🥲🥲🥲

taglist (closed!): @yannew @hanienie @beomgyusonlywife @akirakinimi @multifandomgurllll @boutyouwonu @kissmunalodz @5xiang @ibsysbsfsunsbs @guqsnfics @hellaboredd @wvnkoi @kpopslover @heerinnie @climbingmandevillas @rikisly @simeonswhore @lilriswife4life @daegutowns @harrietbarnesblog @wonniie3 @ariadores @yizhoutv @lilizinho @firstclassjaylee @olivehues @ikeusol @bunhoons @electrobutterfly @choijxn @baekxo07 @youronevia @eneiyri @soobery @heeseungshim @furious-eagle @nyxluvethn @jongseongslvr @wonniewonwon @sunsunl0ver @mixtape-racha @jakeslvt @lomlj4ke @neocockthotology @babyy-bambii @fluerz @adriana7863 @trashx678 @yelleloww @brownsugarbaybee @kaislinging-slasher01 @jena4realz @deobitifull @heartzhailey @stuckonclouds @sunoosgf001 @jwnghyuns @auraxyzz @kaisplushies @dazzlingligth @hoseokteardrop

(if your name is NOT greyed out i cannot tag you!)

[yenqa]

lucky day

in which jake freaks out and sells you coffee for 90% off for “wear a blue shirt” day.

warnings — profanity, umm theyre awkward

pairing — jake x gn!reader

wordcount — 612

a/n — happy jake day!! technically its tmrw for me but who cares!!

You push the door open, smiling at the ring of the bell when you walk in, standing still, you scan the menu, praying they have your order.

Spotting it, you let out a smile walking up to the counter, hearing the familiar greeting.

“Hi! What can I get for you?” Jake cringes at his shaky voice, but you just smile sweetly at him, saying your order. He nods, quietly repeating your order to himself, hands slightly jittery at the pretty person in front of him.

Realizing he’s taking way too long to punch in your order, he looks up at you with wide eyes, letting out an awkward apology before finishing the order.

You chuckle, saying, “No worries, I probably would take awhile to punch in an order too.”

Jake straightens himself, now looking down slightly at you, “Third day on the job.” He jokes. You laugh along with him, noticing his slight accent.

“Where’s your accent from?”

“Sorry?”

“Your accent, did you live abroad for a while?”

He’s slightly shocked that you even noticed it, he’s tried to keep it hidden but he soon realized it was harder than it seemed. He nods, “I used to live in Australia,” He says, finished inputting your order.

You let your mouth open slightly, “That’s pretty far from here! Must’ve been a pretty big change for you to move.”

“I wouldn’t mind doing it again to see a pretty face like yours.”

Giving him a slightly shocked stare, it’s quickly transferred to a flustered smile, trying to look at anything with him. Though he seems entirely flustered too, looking down at the till trying to distract himself.

Quickly getting rid of your smile you look back at him, “So..?”

“So what?”

“What’s my total, pretty boy?”

He chokes on his saliva, barely letting out a “60 cents.”

“What? Isn’t my coffee supposed to be 6 dollars?”

Fuck, maybe hiring him for the job wasn’t the best idea management had considering he couldn’t read when someone gorgeous was infront of him. Though, his mistake was already out and he was too embarrassed to take it back, instead, he says the first thing to come to mind.

“It’s “Wear a blue shirt day”, you get 90% off!”

He thinks he’s officially done for.

“I’m not wearing blue?” You look down at your very obviously, white shirt. Looking back up you see him with a dumbfounded expression.

“I guess today’s your lucky day!” He answers, you let out a weirded our expression paired with a smile. Handing him some coins you chuckle at the few coins falling into his hands, giving him your name and walking to an empty place.

He hastily makes your drink, adding the correct mixture before calling out your name, patiently waiting for you to walk up to him.

“Thank you, pretty boy,” You grab the drink, letting your hands ever so lightly brush his hands.

“I’ll see you around, right?”

You laugh, nodding and walking to the doors. Once you exit the cafe, you’re quick to spin your drink around for any part you need to mix, instead, you’re met with a handwritten message, one rushed to write.

Stopping to read it, you scan the text, “i’d like to see you again, call me? (you dont have to obviously) shift ends at five <3, ***-***-****.

Letting out a breathy laugh, you look through the glass walls of the cafe to see a hopeful expression. You nod at him, waving goodbye. And out of the corner of your eye, you swear you can see him celebrate.

perm taglist — @jwnghyuns @ja4hyvn @trsrina @redm4ri @badmuni @yeokii @enhastolemyheart @softpia @s00buwu @ox1-lovesick @boyfhee @hanniluvi @teddywonss

yenqa © please do not copy, steal or translate.

[b1mbodoll]

omg!!!!! the seeun + yunjin dranble ^○^ mind is so empty they were so perfect <3 thank you for writing them u literally r so insanely talented (and so so cool i am such a big fan! read: kiss me on the mouth) 😵‍💫 also omg the ghostface thoughts????? so insane i actually started loosing my mind ^^

just imagine ghostface!siblings jakehoon who have been watching you, their adorable little neighbor from their window when you dress yourself and strip at night (￣^￣)ゞ n when they get the idea to get in your pants finally, they cant stop calling you and telling you to touch yourself over the phone with your room lights on so they can see and hear you :( and later when they decide to sneak in your house (while your parents are there!!!!!!!) and fuck u silly in your childhood bed saying it would be such a shame not to make you a mommy 🎀🎀🎀 n telling you how cute u would look with cum all over u! and all u can do is take it while you beg them to stop (but your body is saying something different!!!)

love 🎀 anonie!

pairings: jake sim + park sunghoon x f! reader

warnings: noncon + stalking + voyeurism + ghostface! stepbrothers! jakehoon + neighbor! reader + exhibitionism + pregnancy + virgin! reader + manipulation + gaslighting + oral + mention of hymen breaking + dacryphilia + lactation + objectification

💌: im soso glad u liked them <3 i literally Have to smooch u bc u r just the sweetest ever n ur lil msgs make me smile sm bc i nvr thought my silly lil writing was good enough to deserve ur kind words??? we r bffs now i hope u know this

stepbros! jakehoon being so sick n depraved they get off on scaring you into putting on a lil show for them. tell you to keep ur blinds open n lamp on while you touch yourself for them <3 tell u that if you dont put ur phone up to ur cunt so they can hear, that theyre gonna break in n touch your pussy themselves. ghostface! jake is the sweeter of the two, calls you pretty while ur knuckles deep in your cunt n tells you that ur bein’ such a good girl, promises to reward you when they get the courage to break in. ghostface! hoon is a fucking sadist. his dick hardens at the mere thought of pushing past your hymen n breaking it, wonders if you’ll cry from the pain or not even bother wasting ur tears bc you know worse things r coming.

they follow you around while ur running errands and then later that night, call you up n explain in great detail how you looked n what you did today ^^ hoon can’t help it n starts calling you all sorts of mean names bc how could you not realize they were following you? “you’re nothing but a dumb fucking bimbo made for us to toy with, understand? can’t believe you’re so clueless you didn’t see us,” he taunts, “or did you? maybe you saw us ‘nd didnt say a word cus you want us just as bad as we want you, yeah?” you shake your head at his words, phone almost slipping from your grasp while he continues to mock you. “no! i didn’t see you ‘nd i don’t want this please jus’ leave me alone!” you’re so frustrated. for weeks they’ve been insisting you’re a freak that wants to get dicked down by ur stalkers and you’re starting to believe it.

jake and sunghoon break into your house sometimes when ur in the shower. they lay in your bed and jerk their cocks together, cum making a mess of your pillows. steal some dirty panties too bc they r so desperate for your pussy n when they get back to their house the boys sniff ur panties like dogs ^^

they stop calling for a couple of weeks n let you think ur finally free from their torment, but when you find yourself impaled on sunghoon’s cock as jake slaps his dick on ur cheeks before sliding down your throat, you start sobbing bc how could you be so stupid as to think they’d seriously leave you alone? you belong to them whether you know it or not and they show you. make you suck them off at the same time n the brothers do their best to cover ur entire face with cum <3 wna make you completely unrecognizable by painting ur face with it n it makes you clench ur thighs bc the fact that they wna keep u for themselves must mean they’re in love with you.

the first time sunghoon fucks your pussy he instantly becomes obsessed. shoots his load deep inside when your hymen breaks bc the feeling made you cum first, pussy leaving a ring of cum n blood around his thick cock. the two of them are infatuated with your pussy ‘nd fill you up with load after load of cum even if your parents are home. jake’s fixation on your innocence is so sick, makes you cuddle one of ur childhood plushies as his dick rearranges your insides <3 likes when you bite them to keep quiet too

ghostface! jakehoon r also into the idea of getting u pregnant. tell you theyre gonna ruin your “mommycunt” n milk your tits like a cow bc ur nothing more than a breeding bitch to them

[myuiis]

incorrect lookism 2

we back on our bullshit with this one

1:

sally: i just watched eli drop a remote on his foot and the only thing he said was "im tired of being alive"

2:

jake: hewwo! i will be youw suwgeon today! intewnal bweeding you say? let's make our fiwst wittle incision

sinu: dowcto, we'wre loswing him!!!! 🥺

jerry: quick! hand me the defwibwiwatow

samuel: please. just cut off my fucking life support

3:

johan: met a dumbass today, awful

zack: you looked in a mirror?

johan: one day you will have to answer for your sins and god may not be so merciful

4:

zack: Go big or go home!

mira: Please, for once in your life just go home. I'm begging you. Go. Home.

zack: I'm going big!

5:

sally: are you drinking enough water?

eli: sometimes tears fall in my mouth

6:

samuel: Something’s off.

jake : Maybe you’ve finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people.

samuel: No, but that’s funny.

7:

goo, to kouji: Look at you! All cute and small! I could just eat you up!

kouji: proceeds to kick him in the shin and run away

crystal, walking past: Rule number 1, don't call kouji cute or small.

8:

daniel, about jay: Time sensitive question how flirt boy.

vasco: Throw rocks at he.

zack: Hot Dogs.

eli: Kill him.

daniel: Thanks guys.

9:

jake: "It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield."

samuel: Opposite over hypotenuse.

samuel: Dipshit.

10:

warren, to eli: you can't make everyone like you! you're not sally

sally: w-wait, but not everyone likes me!

warren: who doesn't like you?

sally: w-what

eli: names.

sally: w-

warren: give us their names.

11:

jerry: jake told me to stop worrying and just go get it boy so i'm gonna' go get it boy

jason: go get what?

jerry: i dont know, so i'll just get everything to be safe

12:

goo: we need code names

goo: I’m thinking you all can be sexy beast, marshmallow, record player, beer, and bitch

gun: who’s bitch

goo: who do you think bitch

13:

kouji: send me a pic of you doing the peace sign

crystal: why

kouji: i used you to catfish a sugar daddy

14:

daniel: ok, i get it, you're really stressed out, seven people died-

zack: twelve, actually

daniel: that's not my point. look, theyre dead and whose fault is that?

hudson: yours!

daniel: that's right, nobody's

15:

zack: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?

daniel: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.

zack: Three of us saw it, daniel. How do you explain that?

daniel: points at jake Sleep deprivation. points at johan Paranoia. points at samuel Delusional personality disorder.

[ijustreallylikepirates]

DCASE12!!! (I almost forgot to watch the episode today guys, how could I 😭)

-GABBY AND GRETT FRIENDSHIP COMING BACK YIPPEE

-EW YUL SHUT UP LET HER WEAR WHAT SHE WANTS

-“Tommy my boy 🤟” 💀💀💀💀

-Tom you wanna kiss Jake right???

-Grett please listen to Gabby

-GRETT BREAK UP WITH YUL RIGHT NOW PLEASSSE YOU DESERVE BETTER GIRL

-YOU WONT END UP ALONE GO KISS RIYA

-“Gabby shut the fuck up nobody was talking to you 🙄✋” IM SORRY THE WAY HE SAID THAT SO FAST MADE ME LAUGH 💀💀💀💀💀

-Yul you fatass get the salad yourself

-I think Gabby’s hallucination Gabby should shut up

-YEAH GABBY TALK SHIT ABOUT YUL LIKE THAT

-ALEC WITH THE HAND YOU KNOW YOURE GAY

-“working hard or hardly working” 🤓☝️

-bruh Connor says the most cringiest things 💀

-BRO WHEN AIDEN SAID UM IT SOUNDED LIKE HE WAS GONNA SING MR LOVERMAN ANYONE ELSE THINK THAT???

-YUL STAMPING HIS FOOT LOLL THE LITTLE BABY

-RIGHT IN THE BALLS LOL

-OMG ITS SO FUNNY WATCHING EVERYONE FIGHT LIKE CHILDREN LMFAOOO

-BRUH AIDENS SCARED NOISES LOLLL

-“what? 😐🍎”

-Jake and Aiden actually working together what a miracle

-BRUH JAKE DIVE BOMBING YUL LOLLL

-ALECONNOR INTERACTION

-ALEC CONNOR PLEASE KISS

-ALEC AND CONNOR THEYRE ON TOP OF EACH OTHER OMG KISSSSS

-ALEC YOU SHOULDVE INVITED CONNOR TO DINNER BRUHHH

-Derek is sad about Trevor not coming out with them??? He wants him there?????? He wants him so bad

-TOM CHEERING THEM ON FOR BEING LOSERS LOLLL

-ooh now we have a heroes alliance AND a villains alliance interesting

-NOO DEREK COME BACK TREVOR WAS ABOUT TO TELL YOU HIS FEELINGS ☹️☹️☹️

-if Trevor doesn’t tell Derek his feelings he’s going to go insane

-CAMBODIA LOLLLLL

-A TIE WHAT???

-TIEBREAKER YEAHHHH

-aw Trevor sticking his tongue out

-Gabby vs Tom was so intimidating

-I love that they kept their friendship alive

-I’m kinda sad to see Tom go tho

-bruh why are the goodbyes getting so sad now ☹️

-OMG TOMS APOLOGY TO JAKE AWWW

-TOMJAKE KISS RIGHT NOW

-NO KRISTAL AND DEREK KISSING

-NOOO

-EWWWW

-no I feel so bad for Trevor ☹️

ODD NATION CARTOONS STOP WHAT YOURE DOING RIGHT NOW YOURE RUINING MY LIFE

ALECONNOR TOMJAKE TREVEK PLEEEEEEAASSSSEEEEE

I BEG OF YOU

This episode broke me I’m actually gonna cry right now ☹️

ALEC FOR THE WIN GUYS WE GOT THIS

(I’m gonna start working on a new Alenick fanfiction tonight since I’ve been holding off of that for a while but anyways i love yall have a good night or day or whatever)

[alfiely-art]

Act 5 act 1 is done ! Thank goodness. This took me a couple days so some notes may be outdated (ie: karkat birthday)

Also I finished this last night but. Yk.

Act 1 reaction here

Act 2 reaction here

Act 3 reaction here

Intermission reaction here

Act four reaction here

Notes:

NOOOOO JADE'S DREAM SELF IS DEAD FUCKKKK 

Did Jake write this

Hrrrrngggg this is so. Jade just wanted to hang out with him :( 

Man give the kid some time to cry his friend's dream self is dead!!!

I. Okay. Grieve how you need to grandpa. That makes me so uncomfortable but it's okay 

Oh Morse code. I'm not whipping out the decoder sorry I'm distraught over Jade. I'll download the Pic and translate later 

Hussie idgaf about your recap. What the fuck is happening I thought this was act 5 a few pages ago. Are we NOW At act 5???

Is this trollian

Yaaaaay alternia I've heard of this one. Looks kinda dead though

Yaaaay Karkat birthday. Apparently his bday was yesterday irl!!!!

Emooooo lmaooooo

Troll Sander. Oh Karkat. You and John can and should be besties forever. Kiss now /j

BAHAHAA IVE SEEN THIS PANEL BEFORE. I REFERENCED IT WHEN I DROPPED MY MATH BOOK AND IT MADE A DENT IN THE FLOOR. “I'm karkat-ing it up” I SAID. NO ONE UNDERSTOOD ME

“You were meant to be a bigshot” HAHA SPAMPTOB!!!! Nows ur chance to be a big shot, be a big, be a big, be a big shot 

Omg is this gamzee. Or some other purple guy 

Faygo mention!

AHA YES it's gamzee!!! I know because :o)

Oh gamzee <3 Silly guy. Sure hope he doesn't do anything horrible and violent later (i know a bit of what he does. lord english <333)

The juggalos….

NEPETA AND EQUIUS USERNAMES SPOTTED!!! oh yeah karkats doing stuff. That is what I am supposed to be focusing on

Karkat you're such a drama queen oh my godddd

Terezi you're so cute 

Wait I wanna know the password thing…

CAN WE PLEASE GET TEREZI INTO ACE ATTORNEY. THIS IS SO CUTE I LOVE HER 

That's less cute actually why are you hanging your stuffies. Oh well. Girls can have hobbies I don't mind

YAY NEPETA YAY NEPETA YAY NEPETA

Adorabloodthirsty!!!

Oooo this is Aradia right

That's Eridan methinks

No strife….

This is kinda moving fast ? I mean I don't mind but also I liked the slowness of the previous acts. Oh well. Maybe it's cuz we gotta introduce more characters rn

Sollux!!! I have been told he is not an Eridan lover. Oopsie. The fandom lied to me

HI NEPETA

Aradia what are you doing 

Hey. Is this code how Lord English us born. Isn't it

Oh hi girl! I don't know your name but I've seen you!!! 

Hi tavros! I didn't know you were in a wheelchair. Why do I never see art of you in a wheelchair. All your art is of you smooching gamzee.

HAH REFERENCE… alien reference…

Equius is just Standing There.

ALSO I DONT THINK THATS THE PROPER PROCEDURE TO GIVE SOMEONE PROSTHETIC LEGS

Is that Vriska

Aww… shitty rap offs <333

Ohh yess your name is Aradia!

BAHAH OUIJA BOARD 

Vriska it's you ! I will finally know who you are other than Nagito's daughter. Yippee hurray

Woah baby boy calm down what's in that honey that's making you blast lasers out of your eyeballs

HI SILLY CAT GIRL

OH MY GODDD. The cave in… : (

Autistic girls in caves ftw!!!!

Meowrails… nepeta bite him now 

Team scourge?!?!?! Like warrior cats?@?!?@?@ i never read warrior cats I just know scourge 

Slur count: 13

Vriska what the fuck are you doing

OH MY GOD VRISKA WHY DID YOU DO THAT

Karkat bite her. Vriska that is unhealthy for you to do you cannot control others 

HI EQUIUS what uh. What's that stuff in your horse paintings. Equius. Boy. Theyre public everyone can see them

Oh the girl!! Fish girl!!!! uhh.. f… Ferrari. No wait Guy Ferrari is in this. F something

Me too Nepeta. Me too. Idk what's happening I'm just here for jokes and references and Hal when he shows up

DUN DUN DUN!!!! 

Ribbit

Be the huge bitch

Bitch autocorrected to bitcoin. Phone you will perish in a day

Oh. You gotta feed your parent other kids… not great 

Slur count: 14

Holy shit dude I can't read this

Anyway EQUIUS TIME!!!

Lusus Milk. Ummm. Did he milk himself 

Equius never play video games you'd get so much gamer rage

Yaaaay Equius and Gamzee are chatting!!!

Gamzee why are you so cute. I know you do silly things later!!!!

Awww is he talking about Aradia. Buddy just forget the troll racism 

HAH. Yeah that's fair Equius I'd slap someone who was trying to read my mind. Although can he just. Do that any time?

Yaaaay Aradia bot!!!

Equius kill yourself now /j you're so fucking weird. Can your lusus curb your weirdness a little 

JELP EQUIUS YOU KILLED HER LUSUS

NOOOO AURTHOUR!!!!!!

Okay I kinda like the drama Terezi and Vriska are having. they're both kinda bitchy and conniving but Terezi seems to have good intentions. And vriska. Uh. Spooder

Aradia nooo don't listen to the voices trust me

Waaaait wait wait. Is this white guy Doc Scratch. I know Hal hasn't even shown up yet but is this Doc Scratch. Is he doing time shenanigans. Please let this be doc scratch I need lord english stuff 

Vriska. Vriska what did you do to sollux. Also aw him and aradia are dating??? Sweet

FUCK YEAH I WAS RIGHT!!!! DOC SCRATCH!!!! I LOVE YOU MR SCRATCH

Mr Vanilla Milkshake

Isn't that Jade's cue ball. I knew it was related to doc scratch

“I will explode in your face’

I fucking love Doc Scratch. Yeah Vriska I don't care that your spider mom died I'm busy being a Homosexual 

BAHAHAH EQUIUS. You're such a fucking nut. I mean a fiddlesticks nut. No that doesn't hit the same way

This a hilarious dynamic actually. I love you Aradia

EQUIUS IS DOING THE MEME POSE

But anyway. Fuck yeah Aradia. Equius you freak. Aradia bite him

This makes me realize a pair of my homestuck ocs are like this but yk. Toxic and codependent. There's like four people who know they exist 

Huh

Nepeta cucked… jk I know moirails and the heart thing are different. Silly though. “This my boyfriend equius. And this is equius's girlfriend aradia. And this is aradia's boyfriend sollux.”

SHIPPING WALL WOOOOO

Yesss karkat. “you will never find love or hate” YOU TELL HER!!!! 

Also ooo jack

Yaaaay red blood. Actually I forget what red blood means its low isn't it 

OHHH wait he's got mutant blood. Dangggg

Jack is metal af. What a way to earn a kids trust

Cahoots!!!!

WOOO DOC SCRATCH!!! GIVE JER NEW PURPOSE YAAAAA

Man I sure wish I could have learned all of this in a natural way instead of jusy being told in a couple panels. Haha. Sure would be a fun experience methinks !!

Yaaaay kanaya

Glub glub glub

Slur count: 15

THATS NOT THE PROPER SURGERY PROCEDURE

Troll blood tastes bad. Got it

Yo wait she's moirails with Vriska??? Girl get outta there. Actually wait I love toxic yuri please continue 

Holy shit I didn't think eridan would be so boring to listen to. Snoreeeeee. Eridan do something funny pls poke poke

Funny that Karkat was wrong about Vriska getting bitches though. Why do you guys want her

Where did that last line come from. Eridan you emo. Real though

ROSE'S GAMEFAQ!!!!!! 

Ong troll rose lalonde… kanaya imagines her as a highblood it seems that's cute 

VRISKA YOU CANT SAY THAT actually you technically Can but VRISKA DONT BULLY TAVROS!!!!! 

Vriska girl please go to therapy. Tavros kill her

Scurry!!!!

Someone needs to have Vriska read the You're Not A Real Gamer post

Stabby hatefriend <33

Alright we are doing Peter pan now

Tavros just kill her already. She's scary 

WOAH VRISKA YOU CANT JUSG KISS HIM!!!! 

TAVROSSSSS NOOO DONT FALL FOR HER!!!!

It's kinda funny she hates his guts and he likes her. Can they please get a room

KANAYA GOT CUCKED :(

Poor Kanaya actually… she has horrible taste in women but I feel bad for her

Rose's mom and John's dad are matesprites… man this incest pile is getting crazyyyyy

Oh they are in love!!!!! Hate love!!!!

I love incest!!! the pail Has come 

The rammies… sorry I can't hear ramifications without thinking of the rammies…

Aradia and Equius's little gif matched the beat of the music I'm listening to

FAYGO also I think I completely forgot that Eridan isn't fuschia. Oopsies. Thought he was 

HI JOHN!!! I wish I was reading about your adventures currently 

Okay what's up with Eridan and the fishy girl. This is the second time we've cut to them during this explanation

Hi Eridan. WHAT DONT KILL THE WHALE

Okay hi fish

Ohhh Feferi… that's your name… okay

I don't think that was adorable but okay

Poor orphaned troll : (

Genocide complex… okay sure buddy why don't you get back to larping Harry potter. I'm canceling you babygirl

Aw :> I kinda like Feferi it's sweet she wants to change things for the better

COWBOY X WIZARD FUCK YEAH

Feferi really does have a lameass bi boyfriend

I'm just gonna call them all boyfriend and girlfriend btw. The quadrants don't sound yummy to me. Except pitch. I like that word. Sounds like bitch 

Do u not fw faygo

Just like Dave's fridge…

Can we peleeeease get back to good stuff I'm so sorry I.dont care about these guys. Maybe I will later but I wanna know what's going on with John and the other kids. Maybe focus on Karkat. Maybe on WV and the gang. I don't. Want to see them have a will-they-wont-they… 

Okay real talk. This act has been. Kinda a drag despite them going SO fast with plotpoints. People say that acts 1-3 were slow but I was so entertained by them!!! Is this a lame take. If they just slowed the fuck down I would like this a lot more. Hussie let me enjoy your fucking comic I don't want to speed through it 

Anyway. That aside.

she's in a fish bowl that's not good for her :(

HELP WAIT I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID ABOUT NOT CARING ABOUT FEFERI AND ERIDAN. OH MY GOODNESS. SHES BREAKING UP WITH HIM KINDA THATS SO

FEFERI KEEPS DOING FISH PUNS WHILE BREAKING UP WITH ERIDAN OH MY

I love Feferi I think. My opinion has changed. Get Fucked Eridan

WHAT HAPPENED TO SOLLUX also why are Gamzee and Jack just. Standing There. Menacingly

SOLLUX NO EHAT COME BACK

I LIKED SOLLUX NOOOOOOOOO GAMZEE STOP HONKING

Feferi kissing Sollux's corpse would be so fucking weird if I didn't know what happens when you do that in homestuck

Sollux back <33 

Oh I forgot uh. That guy is watching. Legit can't remember his name ! Guy without an arm is watching !

THE NEVER ENDING STORY REFERENCE 

Oh hi audience insert !

Hussie. I don't care actually

I think you should be going SLOWER 

DONT THROW CAL also. I don't care!!!! 

:/ :/ :/ this makes me want to *remembers I'm not supposed to make jokes about killing myself*... cull myself 

Thank God we're back

Oh cool! Sollux gets two dream selves!!!

DEUCE?!?!?!?!?!

Terezi is so cute btw. I adore her

FUCK YEAH GO NEPETA

Theyre so cuteeeee I love meowrails

Slur count: 16

VRISKA'S FUTURE USERNAME SAYS FAG BAHAHAHAHA

I'm not including these in my Slur count these are funny

Okay hold on I thought these guys were dead… whag

Whoaj What are you up to Snowman… 

What the fuck

OHHH KICKAAS WINGS TEREZI. What the fuck was happening with the last panel though

Karkat stop calling things schizophrenic honey. I'm grounding you

I love Terezi and Karkat. My babies

Again??? I don't know the Password but I wanna look at what it is…

Is this troll sweet bro and Hella Jeff

I don't understand what really happened in that animation but YEAHHH FUCK HER UP ARADIA FUCK YEAHHHHH

Alpha timeline mention!!! I'm assuming that has to do with the alpha kids

A scratch… LIKE DOC SCRATCH!!!!!

Oh thank God that act is over. Kinda. Friend told me act 5 act 2 has more of the stuff I like. Act 5 act 1 gave me such a fucking headache I did not enjoy it very much!!!

The ending had that same sorta flair as usual homestuck but. The rest. It was like reading bullet points. Like you're doing now except I'm not telling a story I'm telling you my reactions to the story

Idk. Yeah. Not A fan Of act 5 act 1. Here's to hoping act 5 act 2 is better !!!

[bmpmp3]

i shouldnt really be giving any hot takes on character design as someone who, despite having mild success in the adoptable scene in highschool, absolutely does NOT still got it when it comes to character designing (nowadays im just trying to do my best orz) but i do think one of the most important things with character design is that they serve the medium theyre in well.

like, a super exaggerated shape style triangle man with tiny legs a la mr incredible works great for an action cartoon movie but i dont know how good that style would work in a visual novel where you tend to only see the top half of the body. you wont be able to appreciate the tiny legs 😔

and as much as i goof on the visually cluttered anime boys in otome games and their odd fashion choices (kent from amnesia. at least 21 belts. 11 on one arm alone) i genuinely think they work for what they need to do, like all those fucking sashes and scarves and cords and capes and swishy things on the ikemen sengoku guys, painful to draw for me who wants to draw a goofy comic of them but WONDERFUL for an unanimated visual novel sprite, flowing clothes and hair adds a lot of movement to static images that you'll be staring at for 20-50 hours.

but of course on the visual novel/japanese adv game end of things u also have stuff like phoenix wright and the absolutely beautiful hotel dusk that tend to have blockier silhouettes than the fluttery flowing cloth and hair of like, a character in a bishoujo game from Key or something, but their sprites are animated which benefits from the blockier and (usually) less cluttered designs.

and theres still lots of exaggeration to be had to get very varied character designs, like the jake hunter games have a very grounded semi-realistic style but everyones posture and body types and expressions are pretty distinct, just the distinction is focused on the upper half of the body rather than the whole body like you would focus on with a comedy slapstick cartoon or like a comedy newspaper comic strip. okay its becoming increasingly obvious through what im talking about that i grew up in north america in the 00s-10s using deviantart where if ur cartoons didnt look like disney or pixar or like i dont know johnny test ur designs were considered not good enough so im still in that world. im still in that world. i hope the world is more open now

and something like the hotel dusk designs also would work well for drama or thriller comics - like i was also thinking about big sparkling shoujo manga designs and like. in a comic if ur like a garfield slapstick comedy u wanna look like a garfield, but if ur constantly doing closeups with serious emotion like a romantic drama shoujo manga, having big glittering expressive eyes and emphasizing the upper half of the character is pretty effective for the combination of medium and genre. i also think naoki urasawa's character designs would look so so good in a hotel dusk style game, that guy makes like the perfect thriller design, varied and diverse in shapes but so effective for a serious toned horror mystery thriller thing will lots of closeups of characters faces. i guess because i love serious and dramatic stories about people talking a whole lot i do gravitate towards this style of character design, where the emphasis is on the silhouette from the waist up LOL but it really goes to show that some character designs that may not fit the late 2000s comedy animation shape-based design philosophy have their own places where they thrive <- obvious thing everyone knows except for me who was on deviantart too much when i was 12

i think what im trying to say is i think big boobied super busy anime girl vtuber designs are fine, good even. i like em, i think they do the job and a lot of work goes into them. u only have a headshot/bust (heh) shown on screen 99% of the time u might as well make it with a bunch of particle effects and cool hairclips and lace and weird moving head wings or some shit. slap some sparkles on that thang

[starscelly]

i’m the question asking anon from earlier and istg literally every time you share something about this au i just become more invested! i will read anything you post about them why do these boys have my heart

robo’s rebellion moment made me chuckle, it’s also so sweet that his mom helped familiarize him with the guitar!

i still don’t know what questions to ask so ig this is like another ‘ today i want to talk about [ insert thing here]’ (heck, it can be another 5 of those, however many you need/want)

i guess a question is how did roope find robo and otter? what made them realize that they fit/work together in that way?

the boys also have my heart and every single inch of space in my brain so i get it !!!! thank u again for ur like. investment and giving me space to blab abt them fudfkskldsfl i appreciate it sm <3 <3

i had to marinate and think a Lot on how robo, jake, and roope all meet bc obviously coming from 3 different places there has to be an element of chance but also. i dont wanna go completely batshit lmao. here's an Attempt at explaining my thoughts!!:

otter still goes to college but instead of bu. bc he's not pursuing hockey. he ends up going to ut austin (its a good communications school and he actually has a communications degree like. real life)

he doesnt rlly Love school but he’s figuring out what he wants in life and his parents wanted him to go. so.

robo and him meet at some random ass show in texas, where robo only is bc his family drove over in the rv for a Different show

they dont immediately run off together and play music lol but they do keep in contact via text and calls for a few months, rlly Bond and become super close

robo comes through texas with his family again eventually but theyre not performing in austin this time, just dallas. so jake goes out there to see them

they've kind of vaguely been talking abt forming their own band at this point but obviously there's the distance that both of them are kind of. scared to close on a whim for smthn that might not work. and also they want to get someone who can consistently do lead vocals and play bass etc

anyways. they have a couple free days so they go to random house shows and smaller venues around dallas

roope is in the area bc at this time he's playing in the NAHL but heavily considering dropping hockey for music (he Actually played for bismarck and for like 2 games but. for the au ive decided he played longer for the lone star brahmas lol) and is basically just trying to find out what he's heading for, what he Wants

they see roope performing with a band that is like. Not His but just kind of a random assortment of his friends in the scene fucking around having fun (the house show is at one of his friend's places)

and roope is not. a great singer. he's not professionally trained and amazing. but he has a really fucking unique and cool voice (they will later find out this is bc of his accent and aversion to having a clear throat) so theyre like. heavily heavily intrigued bc they think it could make for a sick sound . in their band. what a coincidence!!

robo. looking like the most average dude ever. walks up to him after like hey ... we saw u from across the punk house and rlly dig ur vibe. and otter is kind of mortified but also is like ^^ play music with us please just to see ^^

roope is in an . emotionally difficult time in his life trying to decide if he wants to take a leap and leave all he's ever known his entire life. so obviously he jumps at the first chance and is like. Fuck It let's do it

obviously there's more logistics - roope finishes out his season before fully committing to the band, robo has to have this whole discussion with his family and have this emotional ass move to dallas, otter doesnt drop out completely but does have to explain to his family that his band is going to be his first priority at some point and starts taking only online classes etc - but thats how those three kind of. Meet and Click

theyre also still having bassist woes and thats when roope calls miro etc but. this isnt abt him rn for once

its a weird mix of a lot of Right Place Right Time scenarios, but how else do two americans who have no reason to ever meet end up with two finns who have little reason to be in america in the first place!!

i also think at first there's not really. Issues necessarily. but it takes a while for otter and robo, who are both super friendly open people, to kind of figure out roope's whole thing so they can finally click. which he's not Unfriendly per se but also he's not going out of his way to make conversation. but once they figure out oh he doesnt hate us and he's not even like one of those mean snappy punks he's just. european.. it's all relatively smooth sailing from there lol . it also helps when miro finally arrives and is both much friendlier at face value and also has roope being overly affectionate and up his ass 24/7 (which eventually bleeds over into his interactions with the other two)

[melissa-titanium]

ive already decided all the weapons for the bkids but i am unsure if i should go for 5thgen ONLY for the specifics or just . EVERY MH GAME  which would defintieyl expand my options a bit but theres like........ 500 MILLION Monstesr and therefore 500 M IL L IO N  AR MOR SE TS  and i wouldnt know whatto choose :(

but for the bkids weapons:

egbert: hammer. duh! don’t think i really need to explain this one, but shes the type to go utterly berserk once the monster’s been downed from a stun. has cleared the entire area of mizutsune, theyre all too afraid to fight her (hehe.. me) she lands a LOT of ko’s and is infinitely frustrated by the fact that you need to SHARPEN a HAMMER. WHO NEEDS TO SHARPEN A HAMMER??! ITS A HAMMER GOD DAMNIT

dave: longsword. again, duh! dont think i really need to explain this! anime loser boy, it feels appropriate. he’s the type to waste his gauge on helmbreaker in world and didnt learn till iceborne that theres more than one charge level on it. i haven’t played longsword much so i wouldn’t know a lot of the specifics but i think he would deliberately always go hit the head just to knock everyone else over cause hes a bitch like that :heart:

rose: this one is really tough, im stuck between dualblades, cb, and ig, but i think i have to go for db!

come on. shes totes a db user.

funnily enough she reminds me a lot of the stealth dango dualblades in rise ! i would say she’d use those but i have a feeling she would think they’re too silly.

again i havent played much of dualblades but i think she would be one of the More Sane dualblade players, she doesn’t roll down the backs of monsters that often and makes sure she gets the ACTUAL  most damage out of an attack rather than doing whats cool (same thing with IG cause i know aerial attacks aren’t that powerful! atleast from what ive heard)

jade: lbg and hbg! but dabbles in other weapons (especially hunting horn) as well. she’s one of those insane motherfuckers that sets down an affinity booster and goes ham. decimates the monster in 10 seconds flat then carves like nothing happened. great to grind with, but when you’re really just trying to have fun i feel like she would end up going too fast

anddd for the alpha kids cause i just thought of them

jane: gunlance or greatsword! gunlance is known for poking and.. i guess that’s like forkkind? i LOOOVE gunlance and even though im not really good at it its very fun to play and it reminds me of jane :D AND GREATSWORD!!!!!!!!! it feels like almost every greatsword user (except me im not cool) is either SUPER DERANGED or SUPER CHILL or like... BOTH but not in themiddle. like a combination AND SHE TOTALLY FEELS LIKE IT.  she would fucking KILL with strongarm stance in sunbreak she is the one person in the hunt to land SO MANY KO’S AND PARTBREAKS that it honestly becomes concerning. takes a long time to charge up (she thinks focus is an un necessary skill) but its always worth the wait!

dirk: again with the anime longsword boy. except he’s like..really good atit unlike dave. hes pretty humble about it for the most part but GOD FUCKING FORBID he knocks anyone over (which he does) (alot) . he never says anything but anytime theyre all grinding for decor he is telepathically urging them all to get flinch free just so he wont screw up their attacks. his favorite monster is scorned magnamalo and i should kill him for that but i wont. im nice

jake: hmm hes a toughie! i’m stuck between lance and sns (bowguns go without saying duh) lance is totally a Page weapon but sns is a Jake weapon...... maybe he switches between the two who knows! he tends to over-judge a monsters attack and block too early or too late half of the time and is a corner healer (i think thats the term. the people that huddle off into the corner to heal from an attack while everyone else is in the middle of the battle) but he means well! he does a pretty decent amount of damage but most of his skills are health/defense oriented and he DEFINITELY has earplugs.

Roxy: SWAXE, INSECT GLAIVE OR LIGHT BOWGUN. she hasd so many fucking mods i think either her pc blew up 3 times or she got banned from multiplayer even tho im p sure mods r allowed in multi  . shes specil. she totally got introduced to the series via stories 2 and is the MOST into it out of everyone else on this list. she probably knows how to hunt in every single weapon but just so she isnt flexing she only plays swaxe and ig most of the time.......... she is SUUUPER fun to hunt with

[zan0tix]

Homestuck is genuinely so fucking blatant about its anti-misogyny did we close our eyes caliborns existence and just see him as Another Funny Little Guy 🤪like eridan who totally arent both stand ins for real boys who weaponise spiteful violent misogynistic rhetoric to hide their own insecurities and result in them commiting hatecrimes because of their misogyny like😭😭 they kill feferi and calliope who they were obsessing over like how real men have done. What. Hussie literally Says That straight up about both of them in their notes btw ctrl + f caliborn its actually interesting the parallels they cite between the two in eridan being a proto caliborn and nepeta being a proto calliope Anyway.

(I made a post abt how the characters all put up facades and how people Still fall for them even though theyre incredibly easy to see past and multiple people said eridan was a big one people misinterpret when ??? Whats to misinterpret. His mask is misogyny, male entitlement, and espousing seadweller supremacy to hide his anxieties about people hating him which just makes them hate him more because he doesnt even truly believe in these things but cant stop using them as shields and further alienating everyone around him Endless loop. So a typical 4chan guy. Cant believe i just spoke that much abt eridan💀)

And i was trying to point out how fishy i find it how quick people are to dismiss jake who is just Canonically disabled and genderqueer idk how else to explain the whole “special in the brain” thing or the feminine masculine gender fuckery literally constantly being called “girly” and wanting to dress more feminine thing happening there either. And how people replace jakes role in dirks life with june(cis guy june) or transmasc roxy where in they just try and fill the shoes of jake but slap a bucket of blue or pink over it and remove the dimension of jakes dichotomy of being what dirk aspires to be but also what he believes to be the wrong kind of man bc of the contradictory nature of Jake (its a total disservice to both june and roxys themes to force them to orbit dirk??😞) ppl tend to actively downplay dirk and jakes relationship and WHAT THE TEXT USES THEM TO SAY. NOT ABOUT SHIPPING WAR BULLSHIT JUST LITERALLT WHAT COMMENTARY ON GENDER HOMESTUCK IS MAKING USING DIRK AND JAKES ROMANCE AND THE SPIN THEY TAKE ON TRADITIONAL NARRATIVE GENDER ROLES BC THEYRE BOTH THE “WRONG” KIND OF GUYS. Hate to break it but the things that happen in homestuck happened for a reason and that reason was to communicate a message. And people can be critical abt how you treat that message🤨

I know its all queer people doing it its not like Malicious most of the time i am glad queer people get to self express At All im always grateful for that but i still feel it leaves a bad taste in my mouth to ljke. Actively downplay and ignore the CONSTANTLY STATED/SHOWN TO BE FEMININE and DISABLED gay guy character whose CANON QUEER ROMANCE is INTEGRAL TO THE FABRIC OF THE STORY?!:’dj ISNT THAT INSANE😭😭😭 because of stupid petty reasons where as you can extend Allll this empathy towards Dirk and make your creations center His relationship to masculinity when HE HAS DONE WORSE THAN JAKE AND IS MORE ANNOYING IDC peoples reasons for disliking jake are always because of intentionally reading him as shallowly as possible. (Often for rlly stupid reasons? Like boo he reminds me of someone or erm hes annoying so i wont engage his text at all But Wow dirk strider😍😍😍) and then they come to talk about the text and its like. Dude. You plugged your ears and went lalalala for some of dirks crucial text bc jake is a big part of his story youre literally missing context rn AND UR PULLING SHIT OUT YOUR ASS

Idgaf about crackshipping. Literally do whatever people have been crackshipping since the dawn of time man i know that much ive been on the internet for so long. But when you start trying to talk about the nuances in homestucks Actual Queer Writing and its themes YOU CANT LEAVE OUT JAKE ? Why are the blonde quirky ones so palatable but you hate the nonconventionally feminine disabled/autistic coded ones (cough calliope here too) could not be any real world biases! Nono all the ways we consume fiction cannot be critiqued!

I dont understand why people Dont Want homestucks queer rep to be deeper. Isnt it cooler if jakes got more going on? It adds so much more dimension to dirk and jake its so cool. How often do you get to see rep this in depth and integral to the identity of a story in any piece of media???? Ever??? With this many queer characters??? Like ih my god? If this was any other fandom wed be scrambling looking for any subtext of dirkjake liking eachother but you come to homestuck and dirkjake have huge blaring signs over their heads “WE ARE GAY AND LOVE EACHOTHER” and subsequently shows you how difficult it is for them to navigate their feelings because of how stories have operated for so long under heteronormativity.LKE WHATSJFND

And it talks about masculinity and dirkjakes feelings in a way that Doesnt push out femininity, it Doesnt actively push jane or roxy away to center a m/m relationship. It doesnt place this Special Emphasis on men and shut out the stories of women in the process as so much media thats a satirisation of masculinity does. Homestuck fanworks surrounding dirk really fall into that but not in an intentional way. Caliborn is infact a parody of people who do that hes the guy who watches american psycho and thinks its awesome and so sigma THATS LITERALLY HIM.

Homestuck does such a good job navigating its portrayals of women vs so much other media its so crazy ill never get over it😭 the presentation style is just So Strong for humanising characters in it being text log based. Okay oops i rambled so much but ugh. I just.. want to talk about this thing to people who in fact read it open minded and engaged with it on that human level, that this work was made by a persons hands to communicate something to other people and we can look into what its attempting to communicate. Not just treat it as some blank slate that has no artistic value or ideas and sucks because theres too many words so i cant look deeper into them brain no likey

I wana talk about homestuck like its a work of Art because it just Is. Same as a film or an alone artwork or a piece of poetry? But its such a fascinating work because it was vast majority all done by One pair of hands not a team. Esp a queer pair of hands too? And its this big?? And its THIS QUEER AND SAPPHIC CENTRIC FOR SOMETHING SO MAINSTREAM? ☹️

I think i should make a video essay guys actually.

Started trying to be more vocal on my side account on twitter (shudders) i bring up how transfemininity oft feels like an afterthought in alot of hs art and i get pqrted like thrice 😭😭😭 id like to have discussions about homestucks transfeminine nature and how much care hussie seemed to inject into the queerness bc its really cool i havent seen media this big be like this!! But twitter is so bad for that. Its like people Dont want its queer rep to go deeper beyond its surface level..?

Somebody always has to go W-what about my personal feelings of discomfort with femininity i love and project onto john sm🥺 any time anyone talks about june egbert. I feel like there might be a constant pattern of highlighting masculine stories over feminine ones totally no real world reason for that ever! all fandom behaviour is totally exempt from criticism bc queer people are doing it so nothing can be critique worthy☝️😇

Scratches my chin. I dunno. Nobodys forcing anyone to make anything just take a little time to empathise with others. Maybe youll get inspired by somebody elses story

[pesterloglog]

John Egbert, Roxy Lalonde

Act 6, page 6450-6451

JOHN: hello?

JOHN: is uh...

JOHN: anyone inside that thing?

ROXY: who goes thr

JOHN: don't worry, i am not a villain.

JOHN: i'm just passing through, looking for someone.

JOHN: i was told to find a girl named roxy.

ROXY: roxy huh

ROXY: sounds like a babe

JOHN: heh.

JOHN: yeah, maybe.

JOHN: do you know her?

ROXY: kinda

JOHN: really?

JOHN: have you seen her??

ROXY: nope not in a while i am fraid

JOHN: darn.

ROXY: i could help you find her though

ROXY: w a series of vexing riddles + clues

ROXY: each more bewildering than the last

ROXY: each less infuriating than the next

ROXY: for i am the sphinx of this pyramid and that sort of coy bs is the shit i get up to ery day

ROXY: (all pyramids have sphinxes i decided j now)

JOHN: no, that sounds really dumb.

JOHN: i would rather just have some straightforward information as to her whereabouts.

ROXY: ummmmmmmmmm

ROXY: *strokes sphinxly chin enigmatically*

JOHN: can you at least tell me what she looks like?

ROXY: well the thing is

ROXY: shes hard 2 recognize lately

ROXY: she started wearing a mask for some fukin reason

ROXY: maybe so as to avoid detection from snoopy boys??? ;)

ROXY: (just wonked @ u fyi)

JOHN: you just what?

ROXY: nothin!

JOHN: alright, well...

JOHN: can you tell me where and when you last saw her?

ROXY: heck yes

ROXY: it was last time i looked in a mirror

ROXY: theres no mirrors in jail though

ROXY: which is a shame

ROXY: could use an eyeload of that stone cold fox 2 get me thru the long nites

ROXY: hardest time i ever done :(

JOHN: oh my god.

JOHN: it's you!

JOHN: how could i possibly fall for such a stupid prank.

ROXY: ell em ay friggin OH

ROXY: youre almost as gullible as english

ROXY: how perf is it that thats some kinda family trait

JOHN: what?

ROXY: you must be john right

JOHN: yes.

JOHN: how did you know that?

ROXY: because jake rambled about meetin you a bunch of times

ROXY: also u sound like him

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: it seems like you have me at a disadvantage then.

JOHN: which is impressive, considering you are in jail, and also in a little green pyramid thingy for some reason.

JOHN: did you...

JOHN: did you actually build that thing?

ROXY: f yeah!

JOHN: that's cool. it's like a little fort.

JOHN: i built a fort once in my room. i made it out of a bed sheet, and some cruxite dowels.

JOHN: then my friend threw it in a bottomless pit.

ROXY: hahah

ROXY: thas awesome

JOHN: it was alright.

ROXY: no but 4 real dont wreck my fort or i fuck you up

JOHN: i wouldn't dare.

JOHN: aren't you going to come out so i can see you?

ROXY: i would but

ROXY: ive been tryin to concentrate on something

ROXY: so i built this sick pyramid deal to help focus my brain chi and spiritual majyyks and if at all possible to blitz my chakras out the yin yang

JOHN: is it working?

ROXY: no

ROXY: but at least its nice and dark and quiet in here and free of distactions

ROXY: or it was until a guy came along lookin for some chick

JOHN: what are you trying to do exactly?

ROXY: i have to make a spikeball appear out of thin air

ROXY: but all i can make are these lame cubes

JOHN: you made all these cubes??

ROXY: yup

JOHN: that's a neat power.

ROXY: ty

ROXY: i also made some pumpkins

ROXY: cubes n pumpkins

ROXY: the manifestations of amateurs

ROXY: theyre basically freebies for void players i think

JOHN: i remember making some of those cubes with my alchemiter.

JOHN: i think that's what a blank card makes? so yeah, they're super primitive.

JOHN: but making pumpkins is pretty impressive. they're like... these big ol' vegetables.

ROXY: no dude

ROXY: pumpkins are helllls o primitive

ROXY: voidwise theyre like the middle square on a bingo card

ROXY: drummin up a dumb gourd aint nothing to write home about

JOHN: well, if you're really having trouble...

JOHN: i know a thing or two about learning to use god tier powers.

JOHN: maybe i could help?

[dirt-str1der]

God ok i know tgs dirk is meant to be just a lil bit uggy but i think that just makes him sexier

[virgin-mojitos]

STEVEN GRANT SFW ALPHABET -- PT 3

*hides behind steven* hEEeEeEeEEeeYYY hoWwWw are YOUU? im sorry ill leave my apology to the end but for now as my first part of the apology, i give you this. enjoy!

Melt – What do you do that absolutely makes them melt?

I mean, im literally the adorblest? So anything I do steven finds endearing. No im just kidding. I think the little quirks you might dislike about yourselves steven will most definitely find endearing, might I even add that he will quickly take a picture of you and save it (or make it his lock screen depending on how embarrassing it is…steven is a big tease my mind won’t be changed)

So like for example, your concentrated face? You might furrow your eyebrows, he might just come over and hold your face in his hand and straighten the crease between your eyebrows with his thumb if he thinks you’re gonna give yourself a headache…he might kiss it, depending on how sappy hes feeling…

If you pucker your lips while doing something (I envy you, god has favorites and its you) he WILL come and kiss you (threat)

Aaaaand if youre like me and stick out the tip of your tongue when youre deeply concentrated (its very embarrassing that’s why I don’t study with a group of people) he will sneakily take out his phone and take a picture…and set it as his wallpaper while dying of laughter

BONUS: “wha-? Steven why are you laughing at your phone?” “oh nothing dar- *steven catches a glimpse of his wallpaper* “HAHAAHAHA” “WHATS SO FUNNY SHOW ME- GASP HOW DARE YOU” and then its uncontrollable giggles again…traitorous steven

Nicknames – What do they call you, and what are their favorite things to be called?

My British boi, ‘love’ ‘darling’ ‘my love’ all the cliché british nicknames honestly. Maybe a flower if you remind him of one ‘sunflower’ ‘rose’…might I even add that these are the nicknames he calls you in the bedr- NOPE NOPE bad Layla this is SFW *sprays self with holy water using water gun*

Oh deary, I think he also loves to be called ‘love’ or ‘lovie’ (its my favorite) but also I read this in another one shot where jake calls steven ‘mr sunshine’ AND I THINK ITS PERFECT!! Just yea that mmm. MR SUNSHINE (go check it out its so fucking good and the author is very talented and just- sorry sorry heres the link

Obvious – How obvious do they make it that they like you?

Not as obvious as you might think, but yes obvious enough

Puppy dog eye FOR DAYYYYSSSSS

Secret admirer sort of person me thinks?

Like he would definitely “accidentally” overhear a conversation youre having with one of your friends about your favorite chocolate or flower or book that you cant find in any library…and you would mysteriously find them on your desk – THAT IS IF you are quite intimidating or might come off as unapproachable in public (same, I swear we do not bite…ish). That is until you form some sort of friendship and then hes just VERY obvious but – I was gonna say he wouldn’t make the first move but I remembered how steven kissed Layla in episode 4 (no not me Layla, unfortunately) and made the first move! So don’t worry about making the first move if youre too shy or scared, steven will help…and potentially fuck it up because of his nerves and he will need your help, please help the poor guy.

HOWEVER if youre a ball of sunshine in public (I envy you) then you could both be idiots in love but please take your obvious mutual puppy love eye out of my face, im trying to eat my salad here..

Pets – Do they have pets? Do they want them?

yES pets! Gus the second my baby. He takes such good care of his fishies, will occasionally give them food that theyre not supposed to eat (LIKE SPRINKLES STEVEN???) but that’s because he likes to share his food.

Im also in love with the HC that the moon system has a cat (thanks to my baby girl jake) and her name is luna (ha ha). Hes a bit wary of having a feline but that’s just due to his protectiveness over gus, but he will definitely warm up to luna after a while (jakes her favorite tho)

Quiet – How are the calm, quiet moments with them?

Dreamy sigh. The quiet moments are definitely the highlights of his and your day. Especially if you are also ND and youre just overstimulated or just, had a loud day? Is that even a thing? A day where it was just too much. Too much noise. Too much people. Too many people. Those days. So yes the calm moments are all you ever want sometimes.

Romance – How romantic are they? What are their go-to ways of being romantic?

Come on now, come on. Were talking about steven ‘I got chocolates and flowers to a date I don’t have recollection of planning’ grant. That steven. Of course, my boi is romantic

Also, steven reads a lot, his special interest might be ancient Egyptians, but at heart steven is one of us. He defo reads romance books, classic or modern. And the occasional erotica of course.

He just has a lot of things he wants to try and experiment with. Like ice skating as a date? (marc might need to intervene because marc is born on ice, just for the sake of the body not ending up black and blue) but besides marc potentially high jacking the date, youre all good.

Just little cutsy date ideas he read about. Hes also very creative with his date ideas, so most of you guys’ dates is very fun

GIFT GIVINGGGGGGGG

PHYSICSL TOUCCCCCCHHHH

Safe – What makes them feel safe and comfortable around you?

Hmmm. So it’s a pretty tricky thing with steven. I don’t think it would take much for steven to trust you? And with the wrong people this attribute can be totally misused and abused or taken for granted.

Hes been lately made aware of that (via jake) and he goes to be closed off for the days after receiving the news. Hes just walking down the street with his jacket held tightly around him and just nervously looking at everyone, thinking back to every time his kindness was taken for granted.

BUT THEN enter you! Youre so sweet and just accepting and just- hes rambling.

So he tells you about his tendency to overshare and trust easily, so, you smile softly at him and put a hand his hand and tell him “steven if im taking advantage of your kindness you wont know it!” IM KIDDDINGGGGG, but if you indeed say that to be a little shit (like moi) you tell him that youre joking and give him a hug and rub his back “ I would never take advantage of the thing that made me fall in love with you darling” and thats when he finally relaxes into your embrace.

HHHIYYAA im so sorry for this delay i had exams last week and was not the freest. so as my apology pt 3 and pt 4 are gonna be posted within hours of each other!!! woooOoOOoOoo and the crowd cheers!!!

also i listened to this playlist while writing, its not mk related or anything its just a good playlist?? im rambling im sorry.

as always REBLOGS AND LIKES HELP BOOST MY EGO

(if you want more of these for the rest of the boys just tell me!)

[ghostboyhood]

SPOILERS!!! genuinely dont read if u plan on watching or dont know the ending..

oughhh i love young jake gyllenhaal and heath ledger <3

this movie might confirm that i have a thing for cowboys... i suspected it but we'll see ig

good lord its so green and pretty where they are

theres so many sheep holy shit

i love their voice sm omg.. the way jake gyllenhaal talks is so like... unique ?? idk

carving a horse outta wood, sick as fuck

i cant get over how beautiful it is oh my god.. id give anything to live some were like that

in love w this movie already honestly nd im only 17 minutes in.. the atmosphere, the way its filmed, the characters.. its very like.. peaceful??? not the word but its nice, its real

i love jake gyllenhaals outfit

PLEASE I LOVE THEM!!!omgharmonica

damn that bitch is gutted poor sheep 😭

dude being naked w just cowboy boots on is fucking sick as hell

NO THE WAY HE GRABS ONTO HIS ARM WHEN HE KNEELS DOWN PLEAJDJWJDJSBfuck dude ognsjajdn

YAYAYDHDJ

NO THEM CHASING EACJOTHER JS SO SWEET STOP IT

Bitch why is he watching them...

HOW AM I 40 MINUTES IN

look at them bright blue eyes 😍😍

THE LASSO THEM TUMBLING I CANTSHDHWNAA

DAMN OKAH JESUS NVM 😭😭

no stop "come here im sorry youre okay" AHSHSJSJSJ PELAKDKEJDJWND oh boy im liking this movie too much.. idk how it ends but im pretty sure its NOT good

icant do this literally nothing that horrible is happening yet but im getting like chills involuntarily what

IM GONNA BE SICK STOP THATS NOT FUNNY HIM CRYING NONO

hi michelle williams

AND IF YOU DONT I WILL" IS FUCKING CRAZY

is that a baby

it is oh boy OH MY GOD TWO??

so much blue denim

GET EM HELL YEAH !!!!

hi anne hathaway

that man is QUEER!!!! he is waiting for a MAN

god the shots in this movie are so pretty..

help hes so cute w the kids,, "the what?" "ketchup"

the time skips are fucking w my head jesus christ

AAAAAAAAUSHEHXHSHXJANXBWJZ

NO PLEASE THIS IS SO SWEET HES SK EXCITED THEYRE SO HAPPY

PLEASE BE KISSEDHIM FIRSTBAHSHWJXJSNXNWD

oh boy she saw them...

him holding ennis ☹️

i feel bad for his wife

I STILL HAVE AN HOUR LEFT??? HOW

ough i feel sick he wants to be with him forever so badly.. they both do.. no jack saying how they could go off n shit n what theyd do HES THOUGHT ABOUT THIS ARGHHH

those poor guys what the fuck....

please i love jack so much...

hes gotta be one of my favoritest characters ever i think.. smt about him is so.. idek..

ough them both fighting w their families :(

yeah that... checks out

HELP "i gotcher message about the divorce" HE SOUNDS SO HAPPY LMAOO

please hes so optimistic fuck

NO HES CRHING STOP STOP IM GONNA CRH I CANT

he has a mustache

WOAH honestly fucking hoof for jack hell yeah

help he has that motorized cutter thing like frank has in rocky horror picture show

holy shit oh my god...

ennis needs to chill out i completely understand where hes coming from but hes being so mean 😭😭

HELLO DAVID HAROUR WHY ARE YOU HERE????

jacks got that homo energy about him goddamn they all know

he did not say that he didnt say that oh my hod

"the truth is... sometimes i miss you so much i can hardly stand it"

IM GONNA BLOW MY FUCKINT BRAINS OUT RIGHT NOW STOPSTOPSTOPS DONT SAH THAT ☹️☹️☹️☹️

LIGHTEN UP ON HIM??? DONT SAY THAT DO YK WHT U JS FUCKING DROPPED ON HIM

oh my gof ob gmdt

"i wish i knew how to quit you"

this is the end! im SOBBING WHAG THE FUCK THIS ISNT FAIR jake gyllenhaal dont DO THIS TO ME

HES CRYING STOP HIMTACKCKOKGHSIAJDBSND FUCK

ENNIS HUGGING JACK FROM BEHIND ASHDHEHCJSB

wtf is he eating that looks like absolute shit

no

nonosklno

yourejoking youre actually joking

no that didnt happen that didnt happen no no fuck off no youre joking youre joking please hes not dead he didnt die no

im gonna be sick

wow that house is so fucking white there is NO color

oh my god he never washed that shirt stop

ITS HUNG UP IN HIS CLOSET BY THE PHOTO STIP STOP STOP

i feel dizzy oh my god i cant do this i dont ever wanna watch a movie again 😭

god i thibk that might be top ten movies... jesus christ everyone should go watch brokeback mountain right now i was fucking crying half the movie

im not gonna scale rate it bc i suck at those but man if i did it would be high

might watch brokeback mountain rn