#my body certainly is
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My mother is screaming downstairs, it always makes me scared. I'm even more angry and terrified now than I've been in a while. Normally its anxiety scared but I feel really fearful. And I dont have an outlet. I wish I knew the words to explain how I feel. Loneliness when I'm not "alone". I have friends, but the loneliness I feel after they've all logged off or left to be with their friends or partners. The lonely nights I'm left with with the reality that I'm all I've got to hold my own hand.
#really makes you wonder#why are you trying so hard#for people who make give you their hand then yank it away when someone better comes along#ive always known im just a second place trophy to people#and being unable to be online some days doesnt help me connect or get close to anyone#no one tells you how much your disabilities isolate you#even if you try#and how people take parts of your heart kver and over again till there isnt anything left#i felt nothing#i wish my heart didnt engulf itself into stone#why does it have to protect itself like that#dreams of coup de foudre are already nearly faded#I think i mightve given up on love#and im not just talking romantic love#it wasnt willing i think my heart is giving up#my body certainly is#im so sorry
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I'm slightly obsessed with gen z Crystal Palace looking right at a very dead boy and going "you'd be a fun addition to my body count" babygirl he's already a part of a body count and it's not yours. He's a murder victim!
#dead boy detectives#also how long has body count had a double meaning#?#my impression is it's fairly recent but I'm also not an English speaker by birth so I may have only noticed recently#certainly is a choice of words though but I'm surprised Charles knows it
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gotta sketch skye the newly hatched reguri baby w her eyes open too.... 🐣
#hmmm ill post this but note that my scribbliest scribbles will be on bsky first until theres enough to make a compilation#trainer red#trainer green#trainer blue#red oak#green oak#blue oak#skye oak#pkmn#pokemon#pkmn fankids#namelessshipping#reguri#gurire#unlike green and red i dont have a parental bone in my body so drawing babies is certainly going to be interesting...#but theyre doing great tho!!!
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Our favorite British bastard in situations!
Companion piece to the Stanley drawings!
Closeups!
And an extra older sketch featuring a centaur narrator based on @cosmokrill’s drawings of the narrator as a centaur which tells you I made these drawings after little after June 22! Go look at their art it’s so huggable looking!
#tsp#the stanley parable#tspud#tsp narrator#tsp stanley#art#digital art#procreate#fanart#sketch#my art#round and expressive!!#expressions#he would be so expressive if he were human#silly man#doomed by the narrative#companion piece#I needed him to suffer#I also needed him to be ok#he did not sign up for any of this#allusions to different parts and endings of the parable#I will draw him interacting with the bucket don’t worry#it just might be a bit tho b/c finals#centaur#drawing a horse body from memory is certainly a choice to make#big stretch#projecting back problems due to poor posture onto Stanley
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reposting these again. i still am really proud of the pieces i did for my 2bemployer fic. and these were my favorites.
its a shame i wasnt able to do one for the last few chapters though.
#madcom#madness combat#deimos#phobos#2bdamned#there's a body in the room#how funny that my favorites almost all have phobos in them#that certainly doesnt say anything about me. im sure#art!
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cql, aka the most "use your words and be kind to children" show of all time
#mdzs shitposting#mdzs#cql#the untamed#jin guangyao#wei wuxian#lan xichen#nie huaisang#xiyao#you know what would have fixed the narrative: make shi wudu nie huaisang's brother and meng yao's superior#'ge lan-xiansheng tried to take away my canary 🥺🥺🥺'#well he certainly won't try that again anytime soon#'i had to kill the jin captain let me explain--'#'it's fine grab a spade and help me hide the body'
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Was going to write a little ficlet to go with this, but. Vaccine tiredness is killer.
A little bit of art for the FOP Nature au by @bunnieswithknives. I cannot recommend checking it out enough.
#art#my art#fop nature au#fop#fairly oddparents#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop a new wish#fopanw#fop dale#dale dimmadome#he deserves to die in a dimmaditch#body horror#blood#candy gore#Anyway the concept behind the ficlet was going to be basically about Bramble#(because im a dirty little bitch who shoves their oc where they don't belong)#setting up traps in the forest with the intention of not catching actual deer#but rather the rogue fairy disguised as a deer that the fairy council had warned her to be on the lookout for (aka Flowers)#The Council doesnt really give a shit about Bramble or her forest#they just want to make sure Flowers isn't COMPLETELY unsupervised after the Dale Incident#So anyway Bramble does catch something#and its certainly not a real deer#but he's pretty damn sure it isn't another fairy either#(idk why Dale would be in the forest I guess maybe he just went looking for Flowers to fix this and freaked out and got lost? idk)#Anyway none of that is actually canon to the au ofc it was just in my head#and it gave me an excuse to draw a fucked up deer man so like what else could I ask for
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im obsessed wiht your AU mister moloch ...... @can-your-kinitopet (for Some reason i cant tag your main sobs)) i Will draw more whne i come back from the Dread. Dinner
#tw blood#cw blood#tw possession#<- ??#GRGR hhow do i tag waahhggg sobs im sorry tumblr#i am in HUGE artblock right now but charles and his Nito are certainly getting me back Slowly slowly slowly ...... /pos#i Need to draw more i have so many more ideas to doodle i Need to see more Anon Agony .... how the fear creeps up and the realization sets#in on how they'll Never wake up from this aching nightmare#kinito my beloved#kinito fanart#birdyfy art#kinitosyte#no cause i love everythign about this au so much grrr.... i Need to see inside of charles' brain because his gears just TICK everything GOO#inside my Brain ouhhghgjhgh hhhhhouhhh this is. So#i have No words right now but imagine me screaming and stimming aaaaaa a a a a a i Love i love i love#tw injury#tw body horror
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So often, twink death is framed as a bad thing. However, the "twink death" for trans men* is frankly one of the most healing things you will bear witness to (pun intended).
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#nonbinary#honestly i hated being called a twink pre-t because so many people treated me like... lesser for it?#like... 'i think you are effeminate (and less of a man)... but i /guess/ you're still a man🙄! hope that helps' is how it sounded to me#and so often it seems like 'twink death' is just... fear of aging in a world that hates the realoties of the human body#i have compassion for the fear of aging however it will pretty much always be harmful to the person experiencing it...#...in that they too will age. no matter what you do to prevent aging it will still happen...#...i don't think fear is the fault of the individual - it's a systemic issue. however i think it's needless suffering...#...you certainly do not have to /like/ aging and it can truly suck at times. i just want people to think about why they fear it y'know?#anyway that's what i think motivates this apprehensive attitude about people and how they change and whatnot#though my twink death isn't me becoming a bear (in the future who knows but for now not so much)
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at some point in disability you stop wanting to "get better" and this is just really hard for able bodied people to understand for some reason
#i had an interaction with a doctor which prompted this#theyre almost certainly a quack but they promised they could find a cure for my eds#to be unequivocal no such thing exists eds is genetic and changing that is beyond the current limits of medicine in almost every case#i was there for regular blood testing and when they said this to me my response was pretty unenthusiastic#something like 'thats not really what im here for'#which was clearly completely baffling to the doctor#part of that has to do with the way doctors are really solution oriented but also#i dont really want to be 'cured'#its hard to explain but this is my body now and ive gotten used to it#what matters is my day to day quality of life not a return to 'normal'#in my eyes disability isnt a bad thing its a neutral one#the idea that im okay with being permanently disabled is intolerable to able bodied society#this doctor has a ton of pther red flags id like to separately post about but ive gone on long enough#to the person who sent me the ask about intersectionality bw transgender and disabled identity#i see you it just turns out a lot of research has been needed to answer you#a reply is coming tho#anyway#disability#salt baby talks#chronic illness#ehlers danlos syndrome#postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome#ableism
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in the whitchlite carinval. straight up “caking it.” and by “it”, haha, well. lets justr say. My chad
(some gideon exploration & little doodles)
#ok i think i might be obsessed with freeform#its just…so low stakes yk?#and very simple#idk its nice to use for little things like this#it was supposed to be some ideas for day 18 of loa shiptober (tattoo artist/florist)#but i got sidetracked#what can i say#gideon lovers (cough cough dragon cough) enjoy your mans <3#i really like how the half body shot came out#gideons body type is so nice to draww idk why?#i definitely draw too many skinny ppl (i love you kremy but you’re literally built like a wine glass) so i enjoy some more variety i guess#conflicted over how the portrait came out#do i like it? do i not like it? who knows…what a mystery….certainly not me��…..#i should probably draw torbek frost and gricko more#but my mind is preoccupied with middle aged man yaoi#speaking of middle aged man yaoi…….#ive embraced the cringe within (its dead! if youre not hurting anyone do what you want!!)#and written my second coalecroux fic (shoutout to my beloved mutual szare for beta reading it!!!!) and im in the process of polishing it up#so….stay tuned……#will probably draw a Specific Scene (tm) because im proud of it like a toddler is proud of their silly cute crayon scribbles on the wall#ALSO#thank you to the person who pointed out to me that gideon doesnt actually canonically have uneven horns its just hair#i have elected to adopt the uneven horns thing regardless because IMPERFECTIONS RAHHH#theyre more fun to draw for me#ok ill stop rambling now#thanks for reading <3#once upon a witchlight#legends of avantris#gideon coal#ouaw
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oh no, time to get the pliers again!! D:
#meta knight#kirby#cw body horror#look mk grew (back) his horns!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#he certainly seems to be enjoying them!#drew this because i was bored this ain't no vent lmao#my art
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Prev / Next
First
#skylldraws#Hello#it’s been a while#i’m recovering from surgery right now#My last post for this series i was going through a bit of a break down#And i have since come to the suspicion that being on birth control was actually what was making me feel crazy and messing up my body#So i had my fallopian tubes removed lmao#So now here I am with essentially a stab wound in my belly button#Drawing gay anime characters and lesbian penguins#As one does#anyway it’ll be nice is someone out there remembers this comic and is happy to see it#I can’t promise regular updates#But i certainly haven’t forgotten it#Tododeku#tddk#Tddk fanart#Todoizu#Tdiz#Izushou#todoroki x midoriya#todoroki x deku#shouto x izuku#bnha#bnha comic#Tddk au#Quirkless deku#Tddk fantasy au#Bnha fantasy au#quirkless midoriya izuku
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Fuck it, I'm going to go out and say it: while I often enjoy being teased on here, a fair portion of what I receive irritates me as it's misguided at best and reeks deeply of unlearned, malicious fatphobia at its worst. Yes I want to be fatter but I'm not fat. I am a 140-lbs/63.5-kg twink despite all my efforts to gain weight. I'm not stick thin, sure, but I'm sure as hell not fat either. So why are some people insistent on calling me fat/huge/big? Are actual fat people too much for you (perhaps even in spite of you being a self-professed FA)? Is your idea of fatness grounded in equating 'not even that chubby' with 'fat' while not even being attracted to people who are actually fat? Do you solely find bloated skinny guys hot while still saying you like fat people? Or are you not attracted to fat people at all and here simply to take your fatphobia out on the people closest to your image of ideal thinness, who you'd be more openly attracted to if they lost 10-20 pounds, all while still scoffing at or ignoring the fat people at the heart of these communities?
Some of y'all really need to do better. Either own up to your love of people who are actually fat (which may entail adjusting your understanding of what fatness is), clean up your nomenclature, or don't be here. Yes unlearning biases like fatphobia takes time and effort, but your choices really are more or less that simple.
#i've seen a number of posts lately from actual fat feedees/gainers discussing how even in these circles they feel marginalized#and yeah they most certainly are#i may not be in that weight cohort myself but my own experiences further go to show that it is a real and noticeable problem#to the fat people here you are not alone and i'm sorry some people still insist on being shitty like this#your body is lovely and deserving of far better attention than the dickish/creepy shit they have to give anyway#i am open to more discussion on this if people want it btw#body politics
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17th century, Ottoman Empire, Constantinople
Artem Vasulyev flees his home after he’s been caught conducting unethical research.
A year later in the Kingdom of England a foreigner opened shop as a blacksmith in a major port city
His name?
Vincent Leventis
Run by Cosmo Sheldrake has made me think of how he’s be on the run every few decades, running from the law, from pitchforks and torches, from friends who have become enemies.
#art#oc#Vincent Leventis#Artem Vasulyev#lore#tw blood#idk what to tag my guy as#crazy scientist?#he just wants to find a way to make a good arm and leg for himself#is that too much to ask?#does that not justify brutal experimemtation on life human bodies?#it certainly sends him all over the world#if you have reference resources of what non nobels used to dress like in 17th century ottoman empire please send them!#it’s so hard to find!
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I hope you remember / To treat the gelignite tender-ly, for me / I'm having dreams about things not going right / Let's leave in plenty of time tonight...
[biggles and von stalhein, requested by anonymous... total mystery who that anonymous requester could have been!]
#em draws stuff#em is certainly not posting about bigglesworth#<- usual biggles containment but I will use the real tags as a little treat. 2024 the year of courage and posting whatever in the world.#biggles#biggles series#james bigglesworth#erich von stalhein#requester specified ww1-era and I did my level best (I am much given to laziness#and did not want to wait for library reference books to come in...) thoughts were entertained of evs in full t.e. lawrence mode#but I was a little too pleased with my initial body sketch to add more layers of cloth...#anyway. caption lyrics from kate bush's 'there goes a tenner' due to the fact that I have decided it's a them song. so ends.
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