#my assessment is about that actually

[knoxious-and-devoted]

as assessments are coming to a close for this weary uni student, ALL of my hyperfixations are returning. and i mean ALL OF THEM.

[anna-scribbles]

adrien in my outfit from a few days ago✨ feat. my claws out converse

bonus:

[b00knerd1o1]

Autism Assessment: DO you feel a compulsion to collect things?

Me: No

Autism Assessment: Do you enjoy organizing things?

Me: Have you seen the state of my room. Absolutely not

Also Me: (Creating a spreadsheet of all the books, rubber ducks, and pressed pennies I own)

[televisedanime]

Can't keep myself from coming back.

[sunsetsandsunshine]

~ 𝚈'𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠…𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛. ~

💙👻🩵👻💙👻🩵

(𝙰𝚛𝚝 𝚋𝚝 𝙶𝚋𝚘𝚢𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟾 𝚘𝚗 𝙳𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚊𝚗𝚝𝙰𝚛𝚝)

̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝚃𝙸𝙲𝙺𝙻𝙴𝚃𝙾𝙱𝙴𝚁 𝙳𝙰𝚈 𝟷𝟸: 𝙲𝚁𝙾𝚂𝚂𝙾𝚅𝙴𝚁˚*• ̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*＊·̩̩̥͙

𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: 𝙷𝚞𝚛𝚝/𝙲𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝 (𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑, 𝙸 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚎 💗)

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 𝟸,𝟼𝟷𝟾

𝙻𝚎𝚎: 𝙻𝚎𝚘 🐢🩵

𝙻𝚎𝚛: 𝙻𝚎𝚘𝚗 🐢💙

𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: 𝙻𝚎𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚒𝚖𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛’𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚕𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢’𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚕…𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚢 𝚊𝚜 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔. 𝙰𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 (𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙳𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚎’𝚜) 𝚏𝚒𝚐𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚊 𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎, 𝚜𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚛 𝙻𝚎𝚘 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚐𝚜 𝙻𝚎𝚘𝚗 𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚝𝚘…𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔.

(𝙰/𝙽: 𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚢: 𝙳𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚐𝚞𝚢! 𝚃*𝚌𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙺𝚒𝚗𝚔/𝙽𝚂𝙵𝚆 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚜 𝙳𝙽𝙸!!!)

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝚃𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚌𝚞𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏-𝚍𝚎𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜, 𝚢𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚞𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜! 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚔 ☺️🫶🏾!!

𝙸.𝙸. (𝙸𝙼𝙿𝙾𝚁𝚃𝙰𝙽𝚃 𝙸𝙽𝙵𝙾): 𝚁𝚒𝚜𝚎 = 𝙻𝚎𝚘𝚗, 𝙼𝚞𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝙼𝚊𝚢𝚑𝚎𝚖 = 𝙻𝚎𝚘!!!

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝙻𝚊𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚙𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚢😙🩷🙌🏾˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

“Yeesh…you have a deeper Raph chasm than Raph himself…” The red eared slider lightly joked as he caught a glimpse of his smaller counterpart. 

The younger counterpart in question didn’t even seem…remotely phased by the remark, looking over the city of NYC like it was going to be his last time doing so. 

But the smaller turtle felt like he was being slightly watched…(which, he in fact was) he then looked up and locked eyes with his older counterpart. “…Huh? W-Were you talking to me?”

“Nope. I was just talking to my imaginary friend Mr. Snoozle— of course I was talking to you.” Leon said sarcastically, raising an eye ridge at the other teen. 

Leo blushed slightly at the elder’s sarcasm, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, “Sorry…I-I was spacing out…I do that a lot.”

“Yeah…no kidding. I’ve been talking to you for the past ten minutes and all I’ve gotten from you were six 'mhm’s', three 'yup’s' and seven 'dang that’s crazy's'.” The older one snorted, “If I didn’t know any better, it seems like you don’t wanna talk to me.”

“No! I-It’s not that!” The smaller turtle immediately protested, fiddling nervously with his fingers as he gazed at the streets of NYC once more. 

Which…was really the only thing he could do right at this moment. 

Besides…the city always looked so…pretty in the evenings. 

Well, if there wasn’t crime happening…

…Which was, like, a good 40-50% of the time but still.

“So…what is it, then? Why did you take me to a random rooftop in the smack middle of NY? 'Cuz, no offense…but I was having a nice first place winning streak in Fashion Famous before all of this.” The taller turtle said.

The honey brown teen raised a doubtful brow, “…You play Fashion Famous?”

“Psh…who doesn’t?” Leon scoffed, “But that’s a question worth discussing for another day…” He said as he leaned his shell against the rooftop guardrail as he looked up at the afternoon soon to turn to evening sky, “So tell me..what’s going on, dude?”

“…I…I needed to talk to you…” Leo mumbled. 

“I…can see that.” The elder giggled, “But, what did you wanna talk about?”

The younger fiddled with his fingers nervously again, picking at his thumb’s hang nail slightly as he avoided the other’s gaze entirely now, “…How…H-How do I become a good leader…?” 

Leon blinked in confusion, darting his eyes around the rooftop looking for someone else before letting out a humorless laugh, “Uhuh…whahahat?”

“I-I said…how do I become a good leader…?” Leo repeated, a bit quieter this time.

“…You’re asking me that?” The slider asked incrediously.

“Yes…!” Leo emphasized, getting off of the rail to look at the taller turtle, “How do I—”

“U-Uh…this is…flattering and all, b-but I reheally think you should talk to my Raph about…that.” The red eared slider interrupted, rubbing his arm anxiously and tensing up a bit as the other mutant looked at him with confusion and distraught.

“What? Why!?” Leo asked, getting up from the ledge to look fully at his older counterpart.

“Well, I’m not the oldest turtle in the family like you. I’m the second youngest. Raphalla has more experience, more wisdom and aaaaall that good stuff.” The lime green eyed turtle said as he grimaced awkwardly, picking at a hangnail as well.

Great minds think alike, I suppose…

The honey brown eyed mutant blinked, “I…so? Your still the leader of your team—“

“Welp…this conversation has been fun but I gotta go—”

“But—”

“I have a toooooon of stuff to do now that I think about it…”

“B-But I—”

“And besides, I’m sure your leadership skills aren’t as bad as you think they are—”

“PLEASE!!” The younger shouted as the older tried to leave, making the other flinch slightly at the sudden and random yell, “…Please. J-Just a small piece of advice! A-A hint…! Anything!” 

The taller mutant sighed inwardly, turning around as he crossed his arms— not in a malicious way…but it was really the only form of body langauge he could do at the moment other than picking more at his skin…

…Which, he promised Donnie he would try to stop doing…

“…Why do you want my input so bad…?” The lime green eyed teen asked, mentally cringing at how weak and fragile he sounded.

“I…I don’t know.” The younger mumbled quietly as he sat down against the ledge on the building, hugging his knees to his chest, “I just…figured you would know some stuff…”

“Some…stuff?” The other pressed.

Leo rolled his eyes, “You know what I’m taking about; being a good leader and all that shit!” 

“Pfft— HAH! Trust me, dude…I’m just as lost as you are with this whole 'being a good leader' thing.” Leon chuckled, sitting down next to his counterpart.

“…What are you talking about?” 

“I just became a leader, like…two-ish weeks ago? I dunno…the past weeks have been a complete blur.” The red eared slider explained, holding in an amused snort as he saw how genuinely shocked the other turtle was by his new lore drop. 

“My Raph was originally the leader of the team but after my family defeated the Shredder…my Dad was just all like: 'Blue, you��re the new leader now' and the rest was history…” 

“…Just like that?” The honey brown eyed teenager asked in pure surprise. 

“Just like that.” Leon confirmed. 

“Well, fuck me, then…” The smaller teen grumbled in defeat, burying his face in his knees as the other let out the amused snort he’s been holding in, “I’m good, thanks.” 

“You know that’s not what I meant.” The younger grumbled at the older’s immaturity. 

…He needs to make a mental note to himself to never let his own Mikey and Leon be in the same room with one another…

“I personally think you have nothing to worry about, though. You seem like you’re doing a pretty good job—” Leon tried to say. 

“But I’m not!” Leo exclaimed as he interrupted the older, mentally punching himself for making a loud outburst again, “I-I’m…not…”

“My brother’s don’t listen to me.” The smaller teen explained, his voice either demonstrating frustration or self-depreciation…

…Leon couldn’t tell.

“They always assume I want to be bossy or I want to be controlling but in reality I just wanna protect them!” The honey brown eyed turtle seethed, “I-I just want to be there for them a-and help!!! I knowthat we’re all the same age and I guess it seems like I’m babying them but I kinda have to because they aren’t responsible! They wouldn’t know responsibility if it walked up to them and punched them straight in the face!!”

The lime green eyed mutant rubbed his arm, tapping his fingers on his knees to try and calm himself down; getting overwhelmed was not a good look on him. 

Plus, it clashed with his autumn shade. 

“…Just, uh…trust yourself…?” The elder tried. 

“But I don’t!” The younger shouted, “I’ve tried and tried and tried to lead but they just. don’t. listen! I-I can’t lead people who don’t want to be lead!” 

“…Your Dad picked you to be the leader for a reason—”

“Well I don’t even know what that damn reason is! ” Leo seethed, burying his face into his arms, “My brother’s want Raph to lead…they don’t want…me. They want someone collective and strong and dependent as their leader; someone who they can be relient on…s-someone who they can trust…”

The smaller mutant let out a wet scoff, looking to the side of himself, “…I’m none of those things…” 

Almost on cue to the emotional moment, Leon slapped his younger counterpart upside on the head…hard. 

Leo let out a small squawk, rubbing the back of his head as he glared at the other. 

“What the freaking hell was that for?!” Leo seethed. 

“For saying a bunch of dumb shit!” The older seethed back, “Y'know that’s my job, right?” He said as he crossed his arms, glancing straight ahead as he saw the sun peeking out from behind a building….

…It was honestly giving the Attack on Titan intro and Leo wasn’t complaining one bit.

“Look…I’m not going to lie to you; being the leader isn’t easy.” The lime green eyed teen exclaimed knowingly. 

“Gee, I wonder what gave you that idea.” The other grumbled under his breath. 

“Just let me cook!”

“Well, right now you’re burning.”

Leon just rolled his eyes at the smaller’s sassy remark, continuing, “I get it, okay…? Being the leader is…challenging. Especially when you know the people your supposed to be leading don’t…want your leadership— or at the very least aren’t used to it.”

The lime green eyed teenager got up, brushing his legs off as he looked over the building’s rail, seeming like he was…trying to remember something, “It’s…a lot. Your still a kid but you’re literally forced to manage all of these responsibilities and high expectations everyone has for you…”

The older sighed, playing with his mask tails as he glanced at the ground, wishing it had an answer to his and Leo’s predicament, “A-And you don’t…you don’t know what those expectations are…” 

The taller mutant sighed, looking back at his younger counterpart, “But you just…gotta keep going…y’know? Your Dad picked you to be leader for a reason, I’m sure.” Leon assured. 

“But my brother’s—”

“'Want Raph?'” The red eared slider said, “Wehell, you aren’t Raph, now are you?”

“…no.”

“Exactly. So stop trying to compare. You’re Leonardo. Lead how Leonardo would lead.” The elder smiled softly.

God, he sounded so freaking…wise right now!!!

“But…I don’t know how Leonardo leads…that’s why I’m asking you…!!” The younger said. 

Leon snorted, “You gotta figure it out, then! Only you can determine how Leonardo leads. Yes…we’re both Leo’s in a sense but we’re different people…you feel me?”

“I…I-I feel you.” The honey brown eyed teen nodded slightly, “I just…I just don’t wanna mess anything up, I guess…”

“Hate to break it to you…but you 100% will. That’s the great thing about being, well…you. I don’t need to be an alternate version of you to know you fuck things up constantly.” The older Leonardo joked lightly, his soft smile turning to a smug grin as he saw how appalled his younger self got at the comment. 

“And you’re going to fuck up a lot of things when you’re leading your brothers…I’d be lying if I said you wouldn’t. But…overtime you’ll get better…you won’t be perfect…but you’ll get better.” The elder announced, looking over his shoulder to lock eye’s with Leo, “And sooner or later your younger brother’s will learn to trust you to lead them…but you have to trust yourself first.” 

Leo’s eyes widened slightly, looking back at his older self with nothing but…respect and compassionnow. 

His advice actually made…sense. Which is an actual shock because all the things he usually says is just plain old gibberish. 

“So, you gonna pay me?” Leon asked as he sat back down. 

“Huh?” The younger said as he tilted his head in confusion. 

“I said: Are you gonna pay me?” The older asked again, “Advice doesn’t come for free, y'know.” And in a result to the random question and statement, Leo scratched the side of his head, glancing away nervously, “I mean…I have some Jolly Rancher wrappers in my pocket if you’d like that.” 

The older Leonardo raised an unamused brow, biting back a genuine smile at the younger’s attempted transaction. 

“…I’ll…take that as a maybe…?” The shorter mutant quietly guessed. 

“I’ll pass…but I appreciate the offer.” The red eared slider laughed, wrapping his younger counterpart in a hug as he rested his hand on his side, squeezing it comfortingly, “With you and me as our brother’s leaders…there’s absolutely nothing we can’t solve!” 

The older mutant faltered, scratching his chin in sudden realization, “Besides girls…I still haven’t decoded them yet.” 

Leo randomly let out a laugh at the joke, shaking his head as a couple snorts and squeals followed. 

The older Leo raised an amused brow, chuckling lightly at the other’s giggle fit, “Ohoookay…it was never that fuhunny.” 

“Ihi nehehever sahaid ihat— snrt! Yohour hahahand!!!” The younger Leonardo squeaked, holding the other’s wrists loosely. “Oh.” The lime green eyed teenager hummed, his amused eyeridge raise now becoming…smug, “You don’t happen to be…ticklish, do you?” 

The smaller mutant gulped as his counterpart muttered out…the word; and so casually too?!

“N-Noho! N-Nohoh I’m nohot!” The honey brown eyed turtle squeaked out despretley, letting out a city-wide squeal as Leon pinched his hips with his free hand whilst still trapping/wrapping him in a hug. “Really? Well, last I checked, people who 'aren’t ticklish' don’t usually squeal when their hips are squeezed, bud.”  

“Ihihat’s— snrt! Juhuhust stahap!!” 

“If my memory serves me correctly, you said you 'weren’t ticklish', right?” The elder said as he wiggled his free hand near the other’s stomach. 

Which, in fact, was enough to keep the other boy completely howling with laughter. 

Leo screamed, twisting and turning to try and steer away from the tortuous fingers, “N-NohO nohOHO snrt WAHAIT-!!!” 

“Soooo…you obviously don’t mind this, right?” Leon smirked as he used his left hand to scribble around the smaller turtle’s tummy while his right hand wrapped around his shell and tickled his underarm. “IHI MIHIHIND! IHI snrt MIHIHIND snrt AHA LAHAHAT!” The younger mutant squeaked out in panic, flailing and shouting about. 

“But why~? You’re obviously not ticklish.” The red eared slider shrugged casually. 

“IHI SNRT SNRT AHAM!!” The smaller mutant suddenly confessed, pushing on the taller’s chest, “IHI AHAM SNRT  IHIHI AHAM SNRT SNRT IHI SNRT AHAHAM!!” 

“Oh! So…you lied to me?” The older mutant questioned as he clamped Leo’s thigh repetitively.

The complete audacity of this kid…

It was impressive, honestly…

Leo hiccuped, burying his head in the elder’s shoulder, “NOHO! IHI— snrt! GYAHAHA PLEHEHEASE!!” 

“Noho! You lied to me, you little twerp! Ugh…the betrayal! And here I thought we were having a nice little bonding moment!” The red eared slider cried dramatically as he stuffed his hands in Leo’s underarms.

The younger Leonardo loudly squawked, snorting up a storm as the elder continued to relentlessly tickle him to pieces, “L-LEHEEEEEEEHEON!!”

“Hm~? Yeah~? What is it, bud?”

“PLEHEHEASE!! NAHAT SNRT SNRT THAHAT!!!” The honey brown eyed mutant squealed, his yell bouncing off the walls of the buildings of New York. “Why~? Is it your tickle spot~? Your tickle tickletickle spot~? 'Cuz your tickle tickle ticklish~?”

“SHUHUT UHUHUP!!” The smaller turtle howled as Leon scribbled his nails along the other’s plastron patterns, “OHO MY GAHASH YOHOUR SOOHOH MEAN!!!”

“Mean?” The lime green eyed teenager repeated innocently, “I’m not mean~! I’m just asking you a couple questions.” 

“I-IHIHI CAHANT SNRT SNRT SNRT BREATHE!!” 

“That sounds like a yohou problem, but hey! That’s just me…” 

“OKAHAY!!!” The younger wheezed, happy tears pricking out of his eyes; awaiting to fall, “STOHOP! STOHOHAP!!” 

“Stopping stopping…” The elder teenager giggled, doing as he promised and stopping. He wrapped his younger counterpart in a hug, letting the shorter turtle snort and snicker in his shoulder once more, “You got this…okay?” He assured. 

“W-Whahat…? Whahat snrt snrt doohoo I snrt hahahave??” Leo questioned through his giddy laughs which Leon couldn’t help but huff fondly to, “The…Thehe leading thing, dude. You got it, okay? Just remember what I said and you’ll be fine.” 

“I dohon’t eheheven remember whahat yohou said toohoo beehee honest..” 

“I can tickle you again to help you remember—“

“N-NONOHO IHIHI’M GOOD!” Leo emphasized, hugging his middles and burying his head into Leon’s shoulder deeper. The elder just hugged him tighter, resting his cheek on the top of the younger’s head.

The two didn’t know a thing when it came to leading…

But they were going to try…they were going to try leading…

…Because that’s really all anyone could ask for…

Their best. 

·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝙵𝙸𝙽˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙ 

(𝙿.𝚂.: 𝙸𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚌, 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐!!!)

[daily-hanamura]

[blatterpussbunnyfromhell]

It feels so freaking good to finally be able to say "I'm autistic" and have the papers that prove it to back it up. I'd known since 2017 and had been wondering about autism since 2012. I had ALWAYS known that my brain worked differently than other people. And now I can say it loudly and confidently:

I am autistic✨️

[hazellvsq]

frank and piper are interesting counterpoint narratives to me. both of them have relatively mundane problems compared to the rest of the cast yet their parent's domains represent the heights of human passion as defined by the series, despite piper and frank both being (outwardly) dispassionate and (inwardly) mopey. the good end of these domains is love and protection (selfless), the bad end is heartbreak and bloodlust (selfish), which both of them try to resist. they both get claimed last out of their trios and had beforehand assumed that they were the children of someone else. both also experience perceived rejection from their mortal family directly before the series begins - both express anger and hurt at being "sent away". their rejection and unexpected claiming, back-to-back, results in discombobulation for them both, and feelings of humiliation brought on by both sets of parents.

they also both go through forced physical transformations by their parents to fit an ideal they don't want. all of the characters experience issues of identity and self-esteem but i think its the most pronounced with these two in the series. neither of them really knows who they are, and are pessimistic about their own capabilities. they are also counterpoints in that they feel disconnected from their own looks - both are very self-conscious people, but, based on how they're described by other characters, piper is probably the most beautiful member of the 7 and frank is probably the least. piper is frequently harassed and objectified, whereas frank is teased constantly about his looks. he neither feels as childish as his face is nor as grown as his body is, and he doesn't understand how to move through the world. both of which are common experiences throughout puberty - suddenly being treated differently on the basis of a body that's changing faster than you want or understand.

(discourse alert) i don't have a lot to add to the piper transformation discourse except that i do think its interesting that her blessing was temporary within the book and her love interest actually self-reflected on his reaction to it and realized that he should not have told her that she looked hot in that instance. rick did reverse frank's transformation five years later and i'm curious about his thought process about both writing it in the first place and in reversing it, and what feedback he received, if any. piper's transformation was a makeover whereas frank's was a puberty, which later rick walked back with "actually frank is still going through puberty". piper's was cheesy, sure, but frank's falls so flat bc that's just not how it works. its too much of a stretch. i don't even think it was in rick's og plan for frank, maybe he just watched captain america and was like "hell yeah i should do that" and flipped a coin between frank and leo, bc again frank was already initially described as physically grown in his debut book. and i can't even talk about hazel's reaction to to it bc its not real to me and i can't read suddenly. idk frank's plotline in general was too rushed in that book and he should have gotten another pov chapter set at least bc rick was trying to do too much too fast and relied on idiocy like the transformation to support it in the place of real character work when it wasn't even necessary for anything he accomplished in the book. he could've just walked around with better posture and achieved the same effect.

[vaciena]

I think it just hit me that I’m actually getting better

[rawliverandgoronspice]

sorry I'm having thoughts because I haven't slept and when I don't sleep I have thoughts....................

I was thinking about Canon Suave Ganondorf again, and... I think what bothers me, beyond everything discussed, is that... it's not characterization? Like for example take Girahim, which I would argue is also a Sexy Villain. Him being a Sexy Villain is 1) a key factor of his presentation and double-edged creepiness, 2) has kind of a lot to do with his literal objectification and 3) is completely played as such, and Girahim himself has a lot of fun with his own theatrics. I don't mind Sexy Villains, they are a lot of fun and they can even be quite meaningful!

So I am not against Sexy Ganondorf by default. I feel like, if played honestly and not ashamed of its own conceit, it could be genuinely interesting! But I find kind of offputting that his sexualization happens almost exclusively extradiegetically. It's the camera leering, it's the clothes that, while really pretty and cool and interesting, do not actually inform us much about the character wearing them on screen, the behind-the-scenes tidbits that are just... not represented within the world of the game... And so, to me, where Girahim lands somewhere on the Bayonetta scale, TotK Ganon is kind of landing... I don't know, somewhere near "skimpy outfit worn by a character that would never wear something like this if given the choice, and the world doesn't ever question why she would and what that says about her"? I don't know if that makes sense, but, yeah. If you want him to seduce everyone, then. Do that. Make him active. Make him own that weird trait you decided to give him all of a sudden.

But again, given the game is deeply uninterested in Ganon as a person, but very interested as Ganon as an antagonistic object, it does end up feeling weirdly objectifying in that regard too.

[lannisterdaddyissues]

god why am i so fucking stupid. having adhd is truly a curse and i hate bearing it

[nexus-nebulae]

me as a kid: i have all these problems

every adult around me: you're not old enough to know what's wrong with you, you're fine

me as an adult: i still have all these problems

my doctors after i finally got the opportunity to choose them myself: oh my fucking god why have you never gotten help for all these problems. you should have seen me 10 years ago

[pynkhues]

ooooooh would love your comment on this post (maybe just straight up under that post). considering your own stance on magnus' fortune 👀

https://www.tumblr.com/virginiaisforvampires/762167499843321856/hi-i-often-see-this-opinion-being-repeated-that?source=share

I mean, in terms of how it's possible for that anon's ask, I'd say that it's because a lot of the wealth Magnus left Lestat wasn't money, it was jewellery and artefacts that will generally gain value over time, so are probably worth eye-watering amounts of money now. Apologies for my crappy photos, haha (conveniently my copy of TVL is still on my desk), but:

(He then just looks at how beautiful he is in the pearlhandled mirror for like, four paragraphs lmao, I love this book so much).

But yeah, I mean, I disagree with that tumblr user's thesis that Lestat is very intelligent and invested well, honestly. I love Lestat a lot, which I think everyone on here probably knows at this point, haha, he was a formative character for me growing up and I love that we're getting such an incredible adaptation of him now, but Lestat sort of lacking intellectually is, to me, a pretty central (and charming!) part of his character.

He was an incredibly abused and neglected child - deliberately uneducated by both his parents, one out of a desire to control, and the other out of a lack of patience - and while for many children that can and does shut the world off, what I love about Lestat is that, especially in the books, it's bred this almost childlike sense of enchantment and wonder for him for every new thing he gets to experience.

And look, yeah, there is a pragmatism in him, which has I think been wrung out of being the only semi-competent person / the only true survivor in his family, and that pragmatism I think is probably what saw him hand over the wealth to an institution who could care for it, but at the same time, I don't know if I agree that Lestat likes to be a provider necessarily.

He invests in people because he loves them, and he gives them money because he has it (and probably feels a degree of detachment to it as a result of how he got it). Lestat buys the Theatres des Vampires and continues to send them money because he loved Nicki, and he invested in The Azaelia because he loves Louis - the fact that the latter was a good business investment and Louis a smart and capable businessman is incidental - Lestat would've invested anyway which we can basically see given the Theatres des Vampires has already had to downsize theatres and seems to be haemorrhaging money yet Lestat never cut them off.

I guess what I'm saying is that when it comes to everything - money included - Lestat's a character who thinks with his heart, not his head.

[byanyan]

ough catch me crying bc we did an informal autism assessment in counselling today

[wonder-worker]

"Any assessment of the emotional component of the reconciliation of [Empress Matilda and Geoffrey of Anjou] remains speculation: the chroniclers are silent on the issue of whether [they] grew to love, hate, or like each other. We do know, from their movements and actions, that Matilda and Geoffrey eventually arrived at a businesslike arrangement with a united viewpoint toward the dynastic, geopolitical goals that had dictated their marriage in the first place."

"Matilda and Geoffrey effectively transitioned from a Divide and Rule model to a Collaborative Union from 1144 onwards, in which they worked together throughout their marriage to ensure rulership over their territories and gained their rightful lands, as well as ensuring the inheritance for their children. Matilda and Geoffrey’s political partnership can effectively be argued as the most successful through applying different models of rulership. Ultimately the Plantagenets regained Matilda’s inheritance through Henry, conquered Normandy, and produced several male heirs."

Charles Beem, The Lioness Roared: The Problems of Female Rule in English History / Gabrielle Storey, Co-Rulership, Co-operation and Competition: Queenship in the Angevin Domains, 1135-1230

[icewindandboringhorror]

It's always interesting to hear about people's weird/unexpected "alternate life paths". Like, something that you could have done with your life, a job you almost took, a school you almost went to, etc - that was still actually realistic enough that it could have happened, but NOW it seems to not suit your current personality.

Like for example, I currently hate advertising (how manipulative it is, brands trying to be 'relatable', social media amplifying it to an obnoxious extreme, etc.) so much that even seeing a little ad before a youtube video is grating to even witness, but there was a point in time where I was genuinely seriously considering going into marketing/making commercials as a career lol. Or like, I have a relative who was very inclined to be a pastor when they were younger, even though today they're a super strong atheist, etc. etc.