#my activity will return to normal

[charlotte-family-apologist]

Kenshi and Suchin as Mihawk and Shanks for Halloween! :)

[bigmammallama5]

your days are officially numbered you little bitch

[arendaes]

It's 5:30am, I can't sleep because I had a bad night last night and I need to vent.

Sometimes I wonder if not being more open about my offline life is to my detriment, because it never fails that I seem to attract people who see me as someone who's easy to walk all over. So many people I've known both online and off really like to treat me however they like, including being rude, condescending, and sometimes just downright cruelly, but the moment I have enough and draw a line in the sand they just want to wipe it away and tell me all about how I'm the one in the wrong.

I once had a friend who ignored my existence for six months and then got mad when I told her I wasn't coming to her son's birthday party. When I say "ignored my existence", I don't just mean unanswered texts; I mean I worked at a store in town and saw her in there multiple times. Every time I would wave and say hi while she was looking right at me and she would walk right by me as if I wasn't there. She knew I worked there too because we met working there. Literally we went from hanging out every day off we had together to that and still she got mad when I was hurt and just didn't want to come to a child's goddamned birthday party (when I have no kid of my own) because of it. The kid was only a year old so it wasn't like he knew who I was, either.

And online has been worse in a lot of ways. I made a friend a few years ago back when I first started getting involved in fandom. At the time I was resistant to the idea but now I realize I befriended him out of pity, because no one seemed to really want to be involved with him and he'd always been so nice to me. That was a mistake, because it turned out he was an alt-right chud who waited until he thought we were close enough and then started deliberately baiting me into arguments where he'd say horrible shit to me and make me upset and then fucking laugh He admitted it was fun for him to upset me. He stopped laughing when I finally stood up for myself and cut him out of my life, only to repeatedly ignore my requests for him to leave me alone. He would send me messages and like my posts, along with asking his friends to do the same and even writing a fic about one of my favorite characters where an unnamed OC treated said character poorly (all while said OC said things that were word for word things I said to him in out last conversation) and posting it where he knew I'd see it. Thankfully his conscience got the better of him with that last one and he took it down just a few days after posting, but the damage was done. He's the reason my ask box is closed most of the time and I have it set to where only followers can message me or comment on my posts. I think he's moved on - I hope he's moved on - but I live with this ever-present fear he hasn't and if I let my guard drop he'll start again.

And this is just two of the biggest incidents in a long line of family members saying I can't have boundaries with them because they're faaaamily and honest conversations with friends about how they've hurt me only to have them turn around and blame that hurt on myself. I'm just...so confused about what I can even do anymore. It feels like no matter what I do I just attract people who want to use and abuse my good nature. Hell, it's been so bad that I typed that and immediately thought "are you good-natured or do you just have an unnecessarily high opinion of yourself?" Which I know is the brain demon talking, but sometimes it's hard to drown it out, especially when this is all I've ever known.

[galaxygermdraws]

So fun fact this is the drawing I accidentally copy pasted on top of itself. Originally this was supposed to be a wallpaper type I would offer for Comms, but this was so complicated I would rather not do that to myself. 

In other news I am thoroughly obsessed with RTDLDX, and have beat everything except the True Arena (I have yet to 100% extra mode though, as I had like 4 lives by the final world. It kicked my butt but I do thoroughly enjoy a challenge). I have. so many thoughts. Mostly about this egg (who I am now broke because of. I have spent much money for him)

Also this is my first time properly drawing either of his boss forms I do not understand how other people do it, it was fun but gosh round shapes are hard to draw in one smooth go. Ramble aside, this is a phone wallpaper, if you wanna use it as such! That’s what its meant to be. Prolly works better as a lock screen unless you can move where your apps are

(relogs with tags/comments are appreciated. Thankyu)

[rahabs]

Well, on the upside, Veilguard’s absolutely horrid writing and utter lack of meaningful roleplay mechanics made me appreciate Inquisition’s already watered-down writing and roleplay mechanics.

[gunkbaby]

ik most of u dont agree with my ed tokyo ghoul takes and that’s fine. but there is something so validating about an almost entire cast of characters for whom eating is a task that inherently involves a lot of guilt and shame.

[hightief]

x

[fappellmoan]

sooo i am going rock climbing w that girl from work on sunday and we did like exchange spotify & numbers or whatever and i think the only thing that could make this rlly terribly funny and unfortunate wld be if ye olde fall situationship was there. like w their gf or something even. i shouldn’t even be saying this knowing my luck

[whiskeyswifty]

please drop the letterboxd queen!!!

Nah bro I’m not trying to cross pollinate my social media. Feel free to ask my opinions if you’re curious about anything and if I’m up for it, I’ll happily share tho!

[no1ryomafan]

I do not bother to check if Getter and Big O ever interacted in SRW because I’m so use to the other mechas I like being in the same game as getter but being so different that they never have any story reasons to have interactions since Getter is only ever allowed to interact with mazinger, OG gundam and any other combiners + it’s all in untranslated hell so I won’t even know wtf was said if there WERE interactions but god damn it I keep rotating a scenario where Roger negotiates to get Ryoma out of jail even though I know for a fact that DIDNT happen despite how many times they used arma and how Z2 actually adapted it fucking correctly for once but it’s just so funny to imagine.

[ghostzzy]

got a good grade in top surgery, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve :^]

[anaalnathrakhs]

throwback to when my parents would cut out the internet at night. and i told them "hey can we not, this doesn't help me sleep it just makes me watch tv bored out of my mind or straight up bang my head on the walls". and they still did lmao because if the solution doesn't work then the problem should try harder to be solved maybe.

[bambino1294]

and when I get out of this FUCKING HOUSE

[yuelun]

I will be here to write, I swear (I mean it, Guizhong has not shut up in my head; she never does and I have been writing a little in my drafts off/on). But I also need to note that while I prioritised Seele in my last post— some can attest to the fact that Kafka is the one that has me talking almost non-stop in Discord. There is so much about her, help me, save me.

So both are incoming, and both will likely have their own blogs and will get their tiny mentions in terms of promos— but Kafka is likely coming first if I can settle on the perfect URL. Keep an eye out. /adds a sneaky read more for semi-specific reasons and people. :)

/breathes heavily

[strictly-confectional]

ive been booped back by enough strangers my activity popup takes a moment to load. mistakes have been made

[ontologicalmoki]

unsolicited parenting advice of the day tell your kids what to expect! If your two year old is anxious about when dad is going to get home from work, teach him to recognize what patterns indicate that dad is coming home soon! After lunch we will do an activity and then clean and THEN dad will get home. Listen when the calendar day starts with an S dad does not have to go to work!!

and if something goes wrong and today does NOT go according to the plan your little guy expects, tell him!! Hey, dad has to go to work after all today, but he will be home after lunch! Today dad has to get groceries after work, so he’ll be home later than normal. But he will return with more bananas! Focus on the positives too, give them things they can understand. Don’t just say “not today,” they understand the concept of grocery stores and unexpected trips. Just tell them the problem. You’d hate being in the dark about everything that happens to you also. Let them control their situation, even if it’s just their own emotions and expectations.

or even! Teach them to read an analogue clock! Let me tell you, church nursery in the 1.5-3.5 age group got so much less stressful and anxious for EVERYONE when I taught my kids how to read the clock. They don’t have to ask me anymore how much time is left and fish for answers I can’t give them. They know that their guardians will come for them when the long stripe on the clock touches the 2, and that if they aren’t there then then they’re LATE and they get to hold this over their parents head. Because they know their parents can be late. And they LOVE knowing when this has occurred. There is so much less anxiety.

anyway explain stuff to your kids, they want to know. This has been an unsolicited parenting advice PSA