#its literally In The Way and doesnt feel comfortable at all
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it frustrates me how some of the most iconic versions of batman are still by people who dont really care about the character and just like his aesthetic. snyder and nolan wanna empathize how cool and badass he is and thats fine but they try to make their movies way deeper than such surface level portrayals of batman should be. they like that hes dark and brooding but they dont go in depth on why hes like that. or they try to and fail. its not just about his parents dying its that he never healed from it. he didnt have the support system he needed to process his grief in a healthy way and was raised by an emotionally repressed ex military man who wouldnt let himself cross the line of employee and family. he learned not to show emotion outside anger. batmans stoicism isnt because hes badass, its a trauma response. the nolan movies treat batman not killing like its a moral superiority thing when thats not it at all. its what batman might occasionally tell himself it is but in reality its because if he starts he knows he wont be able to stop. he also has flaw of believing its like that for everyone but thats a whole other discussion. anyways not killing is in fact a mental block and its emotional because hes mentally ill. oh but we couldnt explore that because that would imply the guy were using for our toxic masculinity power fantasy is weak because he cant mentally handle something. its like.we want to hurt batman but we dont want him to feel anything about it other than maybe anger to show how tough and hypermasculine he is. this also correlates in why the live action batman movies dont want robin. they dont want batman to be a dad because thats not cool i guess. if you cant think of your batman comforting a crying child you didnt write batman though. i swear this obsession with not acknowledging that just because batman is bad at showing his emotions besides anger doesnt mean he doesnt have them has bled into the comics to. batman was literally a good dad to jason pre crisis but can you imagine nolans batman being a good dad? i cant personally. hes a man child. so now comics batman was shitty to jason when he was robin in order for batman to feel despair he needs to first feel love. his parents werent the only thing he loved. he loves his city, his friends, justice and doing whats right, his 2 major love interest and he absolutely loves his family im not saying all batman media needs to be a deep deconstruction of his psyche but if youre gonna focus on batman being 2 kool for emotions being badass rather than a result of his trauma dont pretend your movie is deeper than it actaually is
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broski, you keep saying mike is unable to say i love you to his gf, but at the end he finally said it (9 times) so whats your point literally?
you are holding onto old crap, and beating a dead horse. He said he loves her multiple times, boys are generally hesitant in expressing their emotions (patriarchy asks them to be tough ,not open up and everything), but he overcame that by the end of the season
do you think mileven is gonna break up after how explicitly he told el he loves her???? el also loves mike very much, its just a fight she's upset about, but people can FORGIVE and move on from past misunderstandings you know? el is veryymuch in love with mike since season 1, she can forgive mike for his one mistake (he basically rectified it too at the end of the day)
y'all keep saying mike gets upset when will doesn't talk to him but at the end of season 4 mike is upset that el is not talking to him much because she's grieving
ahhhh this is so exciting!!! i feel like ive made it or smth!
sorry for my late response i was in my physics class 😔
now, we dont KNOW for SURE what mike truly feels. you dont know. i dont know. no one will ever know until s5 comes out. however i have my speculations and so do you. and thats okay!! we dont have to agree :3 your allowed to believe whatever you want in regards to mike and els relationship. it doesnt affect me at all.
however, sense you app care about what i have to say so much i will yapp somemore about what i think. you dont have to agree with me. in fact ik you wont. and thats okay, clearly you are insecure enough about your own opinion that you feel the need to go to the other side and argue with someone in their anons. bc if your opinions were solid and unshakable youd have your url showing. but i get it i really do :)
anywayssss. charecters can lie.
just like people can lie.
i was in a romantic relationship with someone for about a year. and throughout that time, i told them i loved them multiple times. did i? no. did i want to? yes. i wanted to be in love with them. they were very very important to me and when they asked me out, i thought to myself 'well i do really like this person. why not?'
i was not in love with this person. i did not have romantic feelings for them. but i convinced myself i did. in the end, one day we were sitting next to each other and it just hit me. i didnt want to be here anymore. i had met someone else and was developing a crush on them at the time. so i broke up with them.
all this to say, mike can lie. hes not a high fantasy elf. something i feel is a big disconnect between bylers and milevens is that milevens tend to read most things at face value. just bc you say you love someone doesnt mean you do.
as for the patriarchy comment, mikes story line has never had to do with being tough, or not being man enough. he repeatedly says that he doesnt want to be popular, he doesnt care about fitting in. ofc this can still be a factor but i doubt its a huge point of his character arc. if it was they would have made a point of adressing him struggling with it before this.
on your point about moving on from fights, your so right about that. i dont in the slightest think that elmike are going to be on BAD terms in endgame but i dont think they'll be on romantic terms. even if byler isnt canon, and mike is straight. i still believe that.
as for his mistake being rectified. girl what u yappin ab. no it wasnt. if it was why was el not talking to mike in the van on the way back to hawkins
mike says in the last episode that they werent really talking. a little bit but not much. you could say that el was greiving max. but el DIDNT KNOW max was in a coma. when they get back to hawkins, dustin has a line where he explicitly says
"oh you guys dont know" in refrence to max.
is el traumatized? definitely!!! but she doesnt know max is in a coma. and even if she did, why wouldnt el seek comfort in her bf if they had fixed everything???
as for your last point, yeah mike is upset about el not talking to him. duh. however lets compare.
when mike is mad at will for not paying attention to him at rink o mania he actively brings it up. he actively pursues will and expresses his frustration over will being dismissive. he is visably upset. on the other hand, in the last ep of s4, mike doesnt even bring up el until will does. he seems mildly annoyed and confused about the situation and makes no moves to pursue her or seek out resolution. he makes no moves to comfort her about max ever. he doesnt walk with her, he doesnt hug her. nothing. the only affection between then is when EL puts her head on mikes sholder. mike makes no moves to comfort her more but he doesnt push her away. this is also right after mike activly began walking sideways to be able to stand next to will when there was an open space for him to stand right next to el im front of him. odd.
also you do realize that someone can be upset at the prospect of two people that are important to them being upset at them
its not will or el
its never been will or el
this has always been about mike and how he handles conflict and shit.
anywayssss my hands r going to freeze off bc its like 19 F outside and i wrote this walking across campus
hope this helps 💙💛
#byler#anti milkvan#anti mileven#stranger things#lmaooo i spelled coma as comma 3 times haha#max is in a comma guys lmaooo
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your days are officially numbered you little bitch
#stupid rant is stupid#ganglion cyst#MRI#potentially#tw body horror#just in case#it’s benign its just stupid big#so yeah this is the main reason why i havent been motovated to draw#*motivated#its literally In The Way and doesnt feel comfortable at all#in the way of writing drawing throwing pots and just trying to press my hand flat and push up#if i use my hands for a period of time it feels pressurized or tight#which is weird#it doesnt hurt but its definitely uncomfortable#i’ll be in a splint for two weeks afterwards and cant move it or wash it#but if i do everything right i should heal up quickly and its a 1% chance of returning#so#now just to get sammy to her dental this next wednesday and get my car tax and state inspection done and ill be poor for the rest of 2025#but hey my deductible will be met early again lmfao#anyways#this is also partly why i havent been as active in fandom#on top of struggling to get back to normal with my surgery december 2023#body stuff takes up a lot of bandwidth
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Do you see my vision
#my dc posting#my art#dc#jason todd#red hood#transfem jason todd#transwoman jason todd#trans fem jason todd#trans woman jason todd#its always so weird when uve made a character trans. and then u gotta use their canon name for tagging#i feel like im deadnaming her even tho i havent come up w a name yet#the lazarus pit gives spontaneous transition. even if u havent realized ur trans yet#i feel like itd be hard to become a respected n feared n succesful crime lord if she presented as female. because of the 'sogony.#so she can have a lil perry the platypus style shit goin on w a voice modifier in the helmet#also coming back as a woman would make batman less likely to connect her w his dead 'son'. so.#idk. i dont actually have a fully formed au or timeline in mind i just find it easier to draw women#its more of a psychological thing where if im in the headspace of 'this is a woman' it becomes just easier to draw the body#🤷 it is how it is ig#censored bc tumblr's a bitch n really it doesnt matter#i had a post w like 1 note that was literally just 'i dont think [insert name] is a good name for a transfem version of [insert character]'#and it got labelled Mature by tumblr so i figured might as well not even try n be Modest and shit w the way tumblr's fuckin it up rn#anyway shoutout to Daughter of Dragons by thispatternismine for the inspiration#...how does all that hair fit comfortably inside the helmet?#ah. hmm. well that is. it sure is a question! that i will not be answering.#jason todd fanart#dc fanart
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Shinjiham is cute when it’s romantic but tbh I think i vastly prefer the idea of them being best friends instead. Like, neither of them really saw it coming and weren’t really looking to get another best friend (Shinji has Akihiko, Kotone has Junpei and Yukari respectively) but it happens anyway. Kotone takes a liking to Shinji much faster than she does anyone else and I’d say a big reason is just the fact that he’s so reserved that it allows Kotone to do most of the talking while he just listens and they love this arrangement cuz Kotone doesn’t get to talk about her own interests very much. Though I think some of her needs to talk to Shinji stems from this insecurity that he isn’t happy in the group and she has this people pleasing problem and wants everyone to be happy so she makes a much bigger effort to talk to Shinji. And it’s very unfortunate because Shinji intentionally acts cold and distant because he doesn’t want to form any attachments because he wants to die soon, but aaaaaaaagh dammit this girl just keeps talking to him and being sweet and encouraging him to engage in his interests and share them with the others and he just can’t seem to say no when she’s got those damn puppy eyes. And Kotone is just able to get him out of his shell by being persistent but not in an overwhelming way, she’s very cheerful and supportive of him. And Shinji is able to offer her support by encouraging her to talk about herself and by making sure she’s taking care of herself. They just click really well and make such a positive dent in each other’s lives and it’s all about basic acts of kindness going a long way you know?
#persona#persona 3#kotone shiomi#shinjiro aragaki#i uh. probably didnt do much here to prove that their relationship is best when its platonic akjsks i mean idk how to convey it#that these two are just so good for each other but that im just not feeling it romantically#and why should i honestly like cant a guy and a girl just be platonic soulmates like me and jackie aljsks#plus i just have other ships with these characters i like better ahem akishinji and mitsuham yall already know#and i just feel really comforted by their relationship being best friends cuz it makes the pocket watch a lot more power of friendship#and it just. irks me the idea that its romantic love that saves shinji and its romantic love that gave him a will to live#cuz first off you can save him without romancing him and also like if you think kotone is the only person he wants to live for#youre just wrong like in fact its very clear in his social link that he feels this strong love for everyone#its literally like why other characters are so ingrained into his link he loves everyone and they love him back#its just kotone who organizes the time for them all to get together plus like idk when ppl say shinji only wants to live after romancing#kotone its like. well hes not gonna have a good time post coma then huh#and i suppose the point being made is he has to learn to live even if his gf isnt there but again like. shes not the only thing he has#idk i just hate this like pedestal romantic relationships are put on and i hate the implications that like#akihiko has been trying for years to protect shinji and his love doesnt matter cuz it isnt some heterosexual romance#grrrrr it just irks me is all and yeah i just think theyre besties who do everything together#kotone is like shinjis emotional support animal that guides him through the scary crowds and shinji is off putting enough to scare away the#meanies that come their way and they have a dress up montage and make cookies
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*video by a self proclaimed historian archeology with mary on a cross dramatic beat in the background fake crying hand on mouth in instagram reels* here is a funeral epigraphy of this young roman lady who got murdered by her husband! People especially men were such beasts right then and haven't changed much! *shows epigraphy where parents of murdered girl both father and mother denounce their daughter's murder as something abominable and either way Very Much Not Uncaring of the girls fate*
#i also just think its dangerous to like. chalk up an entire population/culture as having components that act like a monolith#and every one is a misogynistic violent man who uses women as a bargaining chip and no one cared about their#wife/sister/mother/daughter ever#and well. i know the long dead thousand year long spanning violent state the roman empire doesnt need my defense lol#i just think. generalizing a demographic is bad. and like. how people are just comfortable doing it because#they have decided that the entity they are talking about is 'bad' and thus can say all the shit they want about them#and like yeah. roman misogyny was really bad and disgusting i studied roman literature for fucks sakw#i know what many men thought of women back then#but again. there were other men who cared about their female relatives. cicero and tullia. fulvia and clodius. pliny and calpurnia.#ovid and fabia.#literally the longest latin epigraphy we have is a man mourning his wife and wishing he died in her place and listing how wonderful she was#and when pointed out the people in the comments (whose venn diagram is a circle with bitches who exploit little girls#getting raped and/or murdered to spam I CHOOSE THE BEAR which again. if some bitch did that with me#they'd probably find her bloated naked body in the tevere two weeks later like holy shit its so disrespectful)#is a circle)#say 'buuh oooh well some guys loved their wives/daughter what matters she still died' and well.#people point that shit out because you are already so quick to jump at condemning a whole people as mindless monsters#who only thought about raping impregnating killing their child wives and thats just. not true#do you truly believe every human back then didnt have feelings and just adhered to societal norms?#do you thinl you from the oh so enlightened future are illuminated from those filthy savages and are immune from societal bias?#i also feel that like. the way most of those people approach this is less empathy on#the women who suffered beforeha d#in that place and more 'how can i make this about me a 25 yo WASP woman' yk
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🙂
Does anyone ever think about howwww
When Armand first shows up to the Divisadero apartment he already knows what Louis was saying in the interview. Before he listened to the tapes (all of them. twice). Meaning he was listening in on their whole conversation. I know the mind reading can extend a billion miles or whatever but he was close enough that he could barge in once the talking stopped and Louis attacked Daniel. So he was basically right outside the door/building just....listening.......
#he watched the whole thing like some creeper!#did he creep on all of louis's consummate and drains?#is that why he knows the precise number of his victims? cuz louis was high as hell during his 'hookups' so he def doesnt remember them all#and its clear that louis didnt know armand was listening bc he never spoke about lestat that way to armand.#so louis didnt feel comfortable/safe to have lestat bitchfests with him (even though i feel like armand would enjoy this? lol)#and obvs is a huge violation of privacy..#like louis literally invited armand to be there and armand said NO HAVE FUN and then snuck around and eavesdropped anyway...#why? so he could see what louis would say when he THOUGHT he had privacy? ugh! gdi#iwtv armand
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gonna be honest I see anyone talking about this "my gender is more complicated than yours" shit as someone who genuinely cannot comprehend that other people that don't share certain traits with them can still in fact have rich interior lives. as an agender trans woman who uses she/her I've never had anyone say it to me who wasn't (usually unknowingly) transmisogynistic
see but im not talking about "rich interior lives" and the assumption that i am is exactly what im talking about. i am talking about the actual physical way that reality treats and percieves me in comparison to the way it treats and percieves you. saying my gender is "more complex" means to me that i am physically incapable of existing in a strictly binary world and that there is no thing i can pass as bc "binary man" and "binary woman" are both incorrect for me. and the Cisiety in question does not allow androgyny to exist - it is exclusively the timeframe people have to decide whether they think you are a cisman or a ciswoman, or a failure and a freak. i dont subscribe to that "binary privilege" shit, thats not how privilege works. but there are differences in the ways both you and i can navigate this strictly binary Cisiety!!! and those differences deserve to be named, imo
like. again. i dont have to comfort you about your own internal sense of gender before youll listen to me about my experiences in the real world as genderqueer. as a different sort of transsexual than you.
(and bc i Know what binary ppl love to say: i know not everyone is 'capable of passing'. what i am talking about specifically is the difference between being unable to pass as a cis woman or a cis man vs being unable to pass bc what i am does not exist AT ALL in a binary society, and both of those things are incorrect ans unattainable.)
(anyways if that language is too imperfect for you thats like fine but. its just confusing to me, i dont get why its hard to understand what we are talking about here. our experiences w our nonbinary genders are completely different! why do i have to discuss them like theyre the same?)
#do you consider yourself transfem first or agender first on an internal level?#do you feel like you are predominantly treated as a trans woman in your day to day? does that hurt the part of you that is agender?#< not trying to grill u or anything im genuinely curious#ive had similar convos w my transmasc and transfem nonbinary friends as well as like. my gnc binary trans friends#i am just curious bc. like i said 'binary' isnt a bad thing to be and frankly since u identify urself as agender ur not really the target a#dience here anyways?#the idea that theres no such thing as a binary trans person just#fundamentally misunderstands the extremely broad swathe of nonbinary experiences and treatments#my passing transmasc enby friends dont particularly feel touched by transphobia unless theyre clocked or unless our areas laws changed#but some DO feel like they r effected by exorsexism on a day to day by being assumed to be binary men and having the other parts of their i#entities erased#while others are completely comfortable being percieved as strictly men and moving through life strictly as men#which is sounds like. i would guess youd have a similar position since u exclusively use she/her?#like.. it sounds to me like your 'rich interior life' doesnt really have an outward effect on the way people percieve and treat you and the#way you react to it which is very different from my experience#binary doesnt mean your gender is 'simple' it just means that you are comfortable within a binary system even of you dont personally identi#y with it. and maybe this is a case of 'political identity vs personal identity'??#and all of this is FINE its just. literally every time i talk about my own unique positioning my transandrogyny or whatever gives me#people crawl out of the woodwork to tell me my experiences are not actually unique#do u see what my issue is? my own trans experiences are erased bc other people 'disagree' with . what. my perspective as an 'unaligned' enb#? when its like. literally none of us are gonna have the same needs or experiences as trans people#and if 'binary' works to show that you are fine and comfortable being percieved exclusively as a woman#and 'nonbinary' works to show i am not#i dont really see what the issue w using the word 'binary' is#like i said. its not a slur. its not a bad thing to be.#and tbh i think this insistence that 'unaligned' nonbinary ppls perspectives arent actually unique to binary or 'aligned' nonbinary ppls is#directly contributing to like. lateral bigotry coming from said 'unaligned' enbies. like if u put urself in my shoes for a second and u gre#up being constantly told you were either a cis invader who didnt actually have any trans experiences and that only people who want to 'full#transition' were REAL transsexuals then. youd be kinda jaded too right? and im sure you ARE kinda jaded lol.#anyways. sorry for rambling at you i dont have any more tags left lol
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erm
#that last post is not good for mee#im already sobbing and then the voices go 'why don't you think youre allowed to be loved?'#love is such an interesting thing as someone aromantic and autistic imo. (thats what im 'blaming' it on at least)#i think somewhere in my brain the recognition that i can be loved is missing.#sillyposting#TECHNICALLY. i know my parents love me. in principle.#but i cant say that. i love them back. that doesnt FEEL right to me. so the only conclusion i can determine is that i dont.#its the same with the one partner ive ever had.#they were the closest ive ever been to a person in every single way.#they told me they loved me and. i couldnt say it back. i still cant say it.#if i cant comfortably say i love the closest person ive ever had is it possible for me at all?#is there something inherently wrong about me? something i cant change?#because i do APPRECIATE the people im supposed to love. i truly have deep feelings for them.#but they will possibly never reach love. and that isn't something i can change or do anything about.#which in turn results into me not being comfortable when someone makes clear they love me#if i cant reciprocate their feelings am i even worthy of them at all?#can you love something that cant love you back? i know that answer is 'yes'.#but is it right to put your love into something that can't return it? are you not putting a burden on both you and it?#isn't it easier to let it go? to leave? this thing will never do the same as you when there is plenty around that is better than it.#this thing has created a burden on itself when loved. feels guilty about it not returning feelings. feels uncomfortable at any expression.#doesnt that mean love is unkind to it? that love hurts? that it'd be better off without love at all?#is it possible to desire love when receiving it is my worst nightmare?#.#anyway shoutout to me realizing i cant imagine a future where im loved. while pissing.#o7#its literally past 10pm i should NOT be listing to whatever the voices say =w=b will that stop me? nahh#“guy isnt depressed enough” okayyyy#its literally fine tho were chillingg#<3#also very important distinction to me: none of this is limited to romantic love. familial love sucks too!!
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— SQUID GAME WOMEN STRAP HCS
◜ featuring ... player 196 (bee girl), no eul (guard 011), se-mi (player 380), sae-byeok (s1 player 067)
𔗨 author's note — didnt add junhee cos she preg and no hyunju bc i dont think she'll be comfortable w a male genitalia toy BUT LETS FUCKING GOoOO strap game hcs coming right up !! [lowercase intended]
p.s. thank u for all the reqs!! give me time and ill post my work one by one, i js have so many ideas in my mind its gonna explode
warning: smut [use of strap-on, taking pictures]
player 196 —
- ! PINK STRAP PINK STRAP PINK STRAP !
- sweet talker during sex but her movements are definitely the opposite of sweet
- would DEFINITELY take pretty pictures of you while you drool over her strap
- has a special album for you with pink emojis on the side <33
- slows down right before you orgasm !!!
- she makes fun of your pathetic state :((
- you get even more turned on ofc
- mostly just her teasing you whenever she fucks you using her strap
- sometimes she'd add fun and use a vibrator on u alongside her strap!!
- one time she wanted to test the new mascara she bought if it was really waterproof like it said on the packaging
- .... guess what ....
- she applies it on your lashes, brings out the strap and fucks u non stop til u were literally crying
- lashes stayed bomb after sex though so she took note of that !
- loves to edge u COS LIKE I SAID SHE'S A TEAAAASE
- after a few edging rounds she'd finally let u cum
- she's not THAT mean to not let u !!
- LOVES hearing your moans !!! sometimes she'd get off herself by just that.
- AFTERCARE !! would make u feel like a princess and im talking about bubble baths, cuddles, and sometimes would even do your nails <3
"good girl, taking me in so well"
no eul —
- doesnt rlly care abt strap colors but i can imagine her w the skin tone one
- prepare to not be able to walk the next day
- ABSOLUTELY MERCILESS !!!!!
- poor baby's stressed most of the time so fucking u with her strap serves as her stress reliever
- u wont complain though, her strap game has u crying out of pleasure
- though once you've had enough and said the safe word she'd stop w/o hesitation
- DOGGY STYLE?!?![[€=€{[€
- easier for her to hit the deepest areas inside u <3
- pulls ur hair while doing it
- DARE I SAY she has an unnie kink...
- call her that = prepare yourself for the best fuck of your life
- DONT GET ME WRONG!! she may be rough but she fucks u like she loves you
- feels relieved after sex, she's glad to have someone like u :((
- i personally think u'd actually be the one giving her aftercare
- cause she deserves all the loooove and care
- <3
"shit— just like that, just like that."
se mi —
- BLACK. 6 INCHES. CURVED
- im sorry but if u think she'll go easy on u well you're so so wrong
- COWBOY
- she loves u on top cos that means she'll get to see your pretty face
- AND ur boobs ;)
- explores ur body with her hands as u bounce on her strap
- if u dont know what ur doing, she'll guide you
- such a dirty talker
- would make u feel like a slut and a princess cos she'll degrade and praise u at the same time
- fucks you like she hates you
- BRAT TAMER !! HELLO
- another edger
- she'll edge you until you're a crying mess begging for her to let u cum :(
- "se-mi please"
- "stop fucking complaining. you take what i give you."
- se-mi has a playful personality so it's no surprise if she teases u the whole time you're having sex
- loves to overstimulate u
- she'll make u suck it after
- would literally pound into your mouth til you cry
- aftercare w her's the best though
- she's slight of different in and out of bed so expect her to be gentle right after fucking u so roughly
"oh did you think i was done with you? we're not stopping til you squirt on my cock."
sae byeok —
- NOW she'd be the one who's gentle during sex
- her cold and stoic persona vanishes the moment she fucks you
- you'd be surprised actually about the way she's gone so soft on you
- if you like it slow, she'll go slow. if you like it rough, she'll go rough
- she just wants to show you she loves you
- making out while she's pounding into you >>
- would feel satisfied when you finally orgasm
- doesn't really speak during sex but she'd let out small praises from time to time
- she'll eat you out right after
"i love you."
@misayani
#squid game#squid game x reader#squid game season 2#squid game smut#se-mi x reader#player 196 x reader#no eul x reader#sae byeok x reader#୭ ୨♡୧ ৎ misa writes ...
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okay think im just extra emo bc sick/period/barbie (didnt get to cry properly) but didnt realise how much i miss being queer
#kt talks#this will pass but want a record of it#was speaking to a gay guy at work today (abt heartstopper) and got to relax#like i dont act any differently than i usually do but just Knowing i cant be full queer self (ehich isnt even any different from usual me) h#as apparently taken its toll because literally cried so much after yhe conversation#like not even soeaking about being queer but not having to worry about SEEMING queer#even though i know i do#but also i seemed to have passed the normal test for at least some#and the. i feel bad for going along with it but also youre criticising the person i actually am to my face so you must not think i am like t#hat therefore i will keep it that way so i am safe#and i dont even know why i do it sometimes#like privacy and not wanting to explain myself and also an inability to articulate it all#but also a bit of cowardice and fear#but yeah. just the fact that he clearly Knows. he can see it. and i dont even know his name (this is bad we have spoken quite a few times no#w but hes in a different department and doesnt wesr a name badge)#but the favt that he just said he was gay openly in the canteen….. and felt comfortable enough sround me to say it and discuss queer things.#.. and just. COULD TELL THAT I AM THE SAME.#idk i dont even know if he did feel that way but he must have??? he must have??????#i think he might have been looking for a confirmation#and i hope he got it#i just didnt realise how tense i was about it all until i wasnt#(but also i did know i was tense about it all and know that i cant fix it)#idk. solidairty. feeling seen. back in comfortable territory (i miss being with groups of queer people)#even my group of queer friends at uni i still havent reached that level yet becauss although i KNOW theyre all accepting. the feeling of bei#ng Extra and Specifically queer compared to just normal queer is very stressful#next year i will be more open. this is me declaring that#havent kr talksed in a while but i need there to be proof of this.#BEING QUEER MAKES YOU HAPPY KATIE STOP BEING FRIGHTENED AND ENJOY IT
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yknow i wish things would fit me right and i wish i wasnt all fucked up from my stupid ass disabilities. i fucking hate it so much its so frustrating and it makes me so unbelievably angry and sad. i wish i could order one fucking pair of shoes that i liked and have them actually fit correctly. but no! my bone structure has to change to get worse and even more wrong every two fucking seconds and im exhausted. im so tired. it didnt used to be like this and i have spent my whole life trying so fucking hard to be positive but i hold so much resentment and hatred for the way things have gone.
#it feels so dumb to be so upset over something as mundane as shoes!#but like. i cant wear vans i cant wear converse i cant wear chacos i cant wear tevas i cant wear regular ass flip flops#the list goes on#i literally cant wear any of those solely because the bone structure of my feet have changed and are still changing as i get older#its fucked#they didnt use to look the way they do now#they didnt used to be as wide and my toes didnt ever collapse underneath the other ones#i just fucking hate it so badly#i literally wear birkenstocks every day cause they're my main shoe. theyre the only one i can wear comfortably#i also like them but thats not the main reason i wear them#its cause its all i can really wear#its so frustrating#i want variety and i want to wear things that i think are cute and that make me feel good about myself#but i cant cause it just doesnt fucking work that way!#i ordered a pair of tevas cause i think theyre cute and i was excited to try something that i thought would work for me#but of course they got here and i tried them on and they fit but they arent going to work.#theyre going to hurt if i wear them and its just gonna damage my foot even more and i hate that#they're so cute but of course i cant have anything good and that i like#im literally crying over this and it feels dumbb but god im so tired. im so tired.
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cont...
still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#continuing the rant in a reblog or i will go insane because i shant leave this business unfinished#he doesn't allow himself to properly handle emotions. ever. i was talking to a friend about this the other day but the ninja all cry#in different ways. nya and kai (due to their upbringing) struggle with emotional regulation and so when theh cry they BAWL. such as nya#bawling head in hands after zane died. and then kai who bawled head in hands when nya died in s6. when lloyd cried in s8 (maybe 9..?) he#shed several tears. he silently cried but i attribute this to not wanting harumi to get the emoitonal upper hand on him. then there is jay#who (when upset) will make it everyone elses problem. hes a free crier what he feels is real and he will express that. THEN YOU HAVE ZANE#zane first cries in tick tock post after turning on his memory switch. it was in response to his father's final message to him#“im only doing this because i love you' sort of deal. he cried one singular tear and moved on. he had to keep fighting. no time to dwell#on this crazy revelation because he needs to help the ninja. their needs over his. the 2nd (and final time according to my memory) time is#right before he dies in s3. one singular tear at the thought of his father and then he dies. anytime there is a huge loss zane does a lot o#the comforting. him comforting kai during nyas death in s6 and also during coles assumed death in s10. anytime he feels bad#he pushes his needs down. insert him literally turning off his emotions because his productivity was low. this behavior is less apparent#in the earlier seasons (just bc tonally the show is different) but it is still there. big fan of how hes written in this episode bc theres#so many little things. he was the one who took out the trash even though he never threw any food. he took his apron off near the trash cans#like he was going to throw it away + his dislike of pink later. he decides to follow the falcon after hearing the ninja laugh from outside#the gate. he made food as an apology for 'ruining' the dinner prior even though that wasnt even what happened. hes always trying#to make up for things that you cant make up. no one will be in the wrong but he will feel as if it falls on him. he is always chasing#what he cannot reach. s11 his message where he says he hasnt achieved his goal of protecting others yet. its a cycle that will never end#and that characterization is present HERE its so fun to me. zane being an entirely different perso but the same at the same time fucks me u#'i am just a replica' but in the 'im a shell of who i used to be way' later zane is very much zane still. bad writing doesnt make that#apparent though. i dont think zane now should behave 100% like zane in s1. i miss him then too BUT he has changed. out of all the ninja#hes done the most character degression... if that makes sense? hes still the same guy with the same issues. but with even more issues now#i think thats about it.#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#<- so that was a lie LMFAO
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hii my love, do you have any thoughts on ceo/sugar daddy dilf chan with a breeding kink and younger virgin/ bimbo secretary reader i just wanna know but i love your works sm❤️
i dont really like age gap stuff but hoh dilf ceo chan...... take this mess of my thoughts
dilf ceo!bang chan who has been a single dad for a long time. him and his ex-wife split not long after the baby was born- her having requested a hefty sum of money during the divorce. and chan, just wanting to heal his heartbreak and raise his daughter, agreed as long as she gave up 100% of legal rights of his baby girl.
dilf ceo!bang chan who doesnt bring baby Emma around as often as he used to, especially now that she can walk around in a daycare and he doesn't have anxiously watch her in a crib all day anymore.
dilf ceo!bang chan who hires you the second he sees your resume: not much experience but having all the skills he was looking for- and he definitely saw the "good with kids" and previous babysitting job(s) you had forgotten to remove from your resume for this job application
dilf ceo!bang chan who personally interviews you and hires you on the spot a few days later. despite your clumsy and rather... "inept" demeanor, you had filled all his boxes
dilf ceo!bang chan who quickly learns to find amusement in your lack of day-to-day skills considering how absolutely gifted you are at literally everything else. one of the first things he tried getting you to do as his secretary was memorize his coffee order, but that all went down the drain when a few months in you still couldnt remember it, so you continued bringing him your drink order (that he also grew to like a lot, but he was going to take that to his grave)
dilf ceo!bang chan who introduces you to Emma after 5 months of you being in the company- you knew he had a daughter from your coworkers gossiping but he hadn't brought her around since you got hired.
dilf ceo!bang chan who feels his heart tug when on DAY 1 you lift his 2 year old in the middle of the office and spin her around, making her erupt into giggles and spreading small smiles on everybody's faces- including mr big scary ceo
dilf ceo!bang chan who brings Emma to work more often after that, and eventually every day when he gets comfortable enough with trusting you with her and realizes how much you absolutely adore her, and how much she likes you
a nsfw jumble of thoughts under the cut;
its about a year into your employment, and he knows it was a bad idea to sit you down in his office to discuss your first big raise when you opted for a shorter dress on this day- one that is definitely against dress code but he wasn't going to say anything.
and one that rose up all too easily from the bouncing of the little girl in your lap to flash your bare pussy between your legs to him. he knew you wouldnt expect anything when he asked about your laundry day schedule, and the realization hits him when you say "oh! today's laundry day actually!"
dilf ceo!bang chan whose mouth waters at the sight. he's grown quite fond of you and he's too self aware to deny the little crush he's got on you- especially considering his daughter loves you at this point. so he doesnt try to fight the way his cock twitches in his slacks.
dilf ceo!bang chan who very boldly: "Are you single?" & "Oh you are! Uh... Are you free tonight perchance?"
dilf ceo!bang chan who easily convinces you that he wants to celebrate your first big milestone with the company together with you, alone and just the two of you. "It's just something I should offer, as your boss" and you blindly believe him
dilf ceo!bang chan who begs all of his closest friends to baby sit all of the sudden- promising them free food on a later date as well as free gossip material "between the group only." which was intriguing enough for all of them to fold, but more specifically Uncle Hannie and Uncle Minho
dilf ceo!bang chan who romanticizes his apartment as much as he can before you show up, lighting pretty, delicious-smelling candles around and tidying up. he's halfway through cooking when you knock, and he allows you to sit on the kitchen island and watch him in your pretty, red, tight dress. probably still no panties too. he rolls his neck and continues mixing the sauce into the noodles. and no, he doesn't let you help. he has a feeling you would find a way to injure yourself with the noodles
dilf ceo!bang chan who wines and dines you with the most expensive wine you would have ever heard of- had you even understood that it was an expensive wine in the first place. he figures you cant tell from the way you sip it like its water just to ask what "supermarket" he got it at
dilf ceo!bang chan who, not long after you finish eating, has you bent over the dining room table and crying against his expensive, silk tablecloth. but he doesnt care about that. not when your tight little cunt wraps around him so tightly- your pretty little cries only encouraging him futher.
"Pretty fuckin' pussy. You like it when I fuck you stupid on my cock? As if you're not a dumb little doll to begin with."
Then he tests the water and pulls you upright with a grip in your hair- whispering nasty shit in your ear about how he wants- no, needs to knock you up
"You play the part of a mommy so well... Maybe I should make you a real mommy, huh? Maybe have you waddle around the office with my second born in your tummy?"
he knows he's in trouble when you nod and push back against him, crying out about how deep he feels and how you think he's in your stomach
"Mmmm you like that baby? 'S my big cock tearing your insides up? I know I like it."
when he's finally close, he's giving you long, deep strokes that force your eyes almost permanently into the back of your skull. and he doesn't feel the slightest bit bad when you cum around him and beg him to "give it to you." he doesnt really think you know what you're asking him for, but he knows that he's a businessman and he knows better than to let a prime opportunity slip by.
"Yea? You want me to cum inside, baby? God, fuck- I wanna. Gotta cum so deep inside that you feel me for weeks. C'mon baby. Let's make sure it takes."
dilf ceo!bang chan who quickly and easily includes you in his everyday life, just more intimately now. he encourages you to stay over as many nights as physically possible (read: literally begs and even uses baby Emma as an bribing tactic LMFAO). he invites you to little shopping outings with Emma, and when her 3rd birthday hits he doesnt even need to ask for you to show up to the company building with a pretty pink gift bag in your hand. it's that night that he takes you on his couch and coos you to sleep after asking you to be his girlfriend- finally his pretty, stupid baby.
dilf ceo!bang chan who also quickly gets you pregnant and drops to one knee the second you both find out, asking you to marry him and officially be baby Emma's mommy, as well as his wife and soon-to-be mother of his 2nd child.
heheheheeeheheheheh i loved this idea actually thank u so much anon. i wish i had it in me to write something longer/more cohesive lol
#sian’s writing#chris hard thoughts <3#skz smut#stray kids smut#stray kids x reader#stray kids imagines#bang chan smut#bang chan x reader#bang chan x reader smut#bang chan imagines#chan smut#chan x reader#chan x reader smut#chan imagines#skz x reader#skz x reader smut
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#confiding in friends is good and helpful and healing until it becomes burdensome when u r in situations where nobody can give u advice#or comfort and all they can tell u are things u already know urself so u feel like a burden sharing things and stressing ppl out#by having them worry abt u w out being able to do anything abt it or offer u actual comfort in any way… :(#dont get me wrong im incredibly grateful for my friends but like if my dad is actively dying from cancer as we speak there is nothing u can#possibly say to help so all i do by sharing is make ppl feel pressured to comfort me even though there is no comfort to be given at all#ik u love me and ik i deserve a break from the difficult things life has been throwing at me for the last yr. ik those things already#and it almost hurts to hear them said again because like. ik those things are true and i wish they brought me comfort but they dont. nothing#brings me comfort. nothing at all#i feel like these feelings resurface every couple months and i start isolating myself from my friends whenever this happens because i feel#so like. burdensome but also unable to accept words of comfort or sympathize w anything that anyone else is going thru. i stop liking#conversing w my friends and i just feel too drained to talk to anyone because all that is on my mind is death#i had to delete a bunch of social media + messaging apps from my phone / mute conversations + turn dnd on constantly because i just. i just.#i literally just cant and i wish i could and i dont feel guilty for needing to take this space because i am familiar w this being one of my#needs and also ik i am going thru something insanely traumatic atm and like nobody can judge me or make me feel guilty for what my needs are#at the moment. i used to feel guilty abt this but tbh i dont even have the energy anymore. this is just how i am#like i dont even have the ability to explain to people what the situation is or how dire it is. my sister and i are sure that this is it#but even if this isnt it it will only be a matter of time. he hasnt responded well to a single treatment and we have exhausted everything#so now its just a waiting game. if it doesnt happen in a few months it will just happen a few months after that. there is no battle to even#fight anymore. this is just it#fuck. oh my god#there was more i wanted to say but i started thinking abt it and i feel like im going to have a panic attack so never mind. ummm#okay… anyways!#woozi eating lettuce dot gif#journal
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its so easy to stay where you are most comfortable and where you are used to being - in negative states.
something i realized i used to do a lot when i first understood the law/states: i used to know i had to change self but i still spent days in the same negative state without taking the effort to apply. understanding the knowledge is one thing but actually applying can take a push.
applying the law is not "work" but at the same time everything depends on YOU to change and that change might take a push or some effort since some of us (especially ppl new to the law), are so used to being in a negative state which becomes comfortable and our dwelling state.
this makes it SEEM "harder" to manifest when in fact all you have to do is take the lead and change self. you have to realize that life is literally only a reflection of SELF. you feel shitty everyday bc thats what version of self you are being.
if youre thinking bullshit like "ill do it later" when talking about applying the law, you are failing to realize that you are ALWAYS applying the law. you are only failing to apply it in a way that benefits you which is self sabotage. stop leaving yourSELF last & CHANGE SELF NOW!
imagine being in a state for months or years where you believe youre ugly and successful. ofc you become comfortable in that state since youve been accepting/being that version of you for so long. this doesnt mean its hard to change states if youve been in a negative state for so long. again, this means it SEEMS hard to change, but its NOT. realize everything is only a state and everything is up to you! you being SELF! you are not your state! you are only occupying states! theres nothing to "reprogram"! theres no need to work on limiting beliefs!
to be comfortable in your ideal state, you have to be uncomfortable & get tf out of that negative state u are so used to being in. stop w the "ill do it later" & make sure ur actually applying the law to ur advantage be u complain about ur life while not being the change u need.
take the effort to CHANGE. use techniques to your advantage and HAVE FUN w them! KNOW your power and know everything changes once YOU change. idc if it SEEMS hard... change self. idc if you feel lazy... change self.
when are you going to take control of your life and yourSELF instead of staying comfortable in old, negative states? is SELF in control of your life or these states? are you willing to get uncomfortable by occupying the state that benefits you for the change you look for?
ofc when you start to change self/states, it can feel weird and uncomfortable but it WILL become your new COMFORTABLE. stop waiting for shit to change when the only thing that needs change is SELF. take control of your life and apply the law to your advantage NOW!
kisses, jani ☆
#etherealkissed🎀#loa blog#law of assumption#manifesting#loassumption#neville goddard#edward art#etherealkissed#imagination creates reality#change self#loastates#loass angel
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