#multigender resources

[your-bigender-big-brother]

Let's get this circulating for anyone who needs it! This is linked in my pinned post and should be working now! Also, please let me know what else I can add to this post to make it more complete. 💛

Bigender Resources (Updated 05/29/2022)

► What is Bigender? “Bigender, bi-gender, or sometimes dual-gender/dual-gendered, is a gender identity under the multigender, nonbinary, and transgender umbrella terms. Bigender people have two [or more] different specific gender identities, either at the same time, or at different times.” When there is no fluidity or shifting between the genders, it is called ambigender.

► Bigender 101 and Similar Terms: Bigender on the Nonbinary Wiki Polygender on the Nonbinary Wiki Genderfluid on the Nonbinary Wiki Ambigender on the Nonbinary Wiki Androgyne on the Nonbinary Wiki Ambonec on the Nonbinary Wiki Demigender on the Nonbinary Wiki Bigender on Wikipedia

► Community Resources: bigender.net forums r/Bigender on reddit talking-bigender on tumblr bigendering on tumblr bigender-culture-is on tumblr your-bigender-big-brother (YB3) on tumblr bigendersupport on Instagram Gender flowchart by bigendering Click-through version of the above

► Discord Servers: bigenders multigenders The Polygender Palace (18+)

► Artists: YB3 zine on Instagram Bigender products on Etsy Bigender products on Redbubble Polygender products on Etsy (Support queer artists always!) ►Similar Identities in Other Cultures: Ardhanarishvara, the Hindu deity Hijra, an Indian gender identity Two-Spirit, a pan-Indian gender identity Gender identities in Thailand Bishōnen, an androgynous Japanese identity

► General Info: The Nonbinary Wiki Other Multigender Identities

Please feel free to contact me to add new resource links to this post or correct any misinformation. This post will be updated with more information as I find it. Keep in mind that the creator of this post is bigender emself. ⚡

[genderqueerdykes]

i hope what people take away from nex benedict's brutal murder is that transphobia affects all trans people, which heavily includes nonbinary people and especially non binary people of color. while people argue over whether or not nonbinary people are trans, we are being targeted by cishets. we are actively being targeted by transphobia. we are in danger of trans panic. we are still trans, and we need our binary trans siblings to stand beside us.

rest in power nex. you deserved better. please fight like hell for them. please fight like hell for the safety of trans folk in Oklahoma. please fight like hell for all nonbinary people. we are trans. we are your siblings, too.

you can help support queer folk living in oklahoma by supporting Freedom Oklahoma, a native-based organization for trans & queer rights in Nex's home state:

[blorpingtonn]

Reminder that masc voice training is a thing! So if you have voice dysphoria you might wanna try it at least for a month and see if it helps :]

[genderkoolaid]

i think "nonbinary" can be useful but a lot of times the way it is being used isn't helpful to actually discussing nonbinary people, especially since it is a HUGE umbrella term with very few boundaries. like there are nonbinary men & women, so positioning "nonbinary" as something intrinsically separate from man/woman isn't accurate. or there are times where it would be more useful to name the specific group (like multigender people, androgynes, abinary/aphorians) rather than a much vaguer term

in general the problem is that our language to describe nonbinary existence is basically some scraps held together with duct tape. there's sooo many ways in which nonbinary people are erased or binaried through language. not just through the lack of gender neutral options but the la of blatantly genderqueer ones.

i kinda feel like as of right now, nonbinary-ness is pretty slapdash & all over the place and it would be helpful to have a large-scale discussion on what terminology would be best for discussing things like exorsexism and it's various aspects, and how to talk about nonbinary people without homogenizing us, while ALSO acknowledging the need for umbrella terms that can cover a range of individual identities, even if people don't personally identify with the umbrella term itself. & on that note we should also probably discuss the issue of. like. perfectionism wrt nonbinary language & the way that potentially useful terms get lost bc of it. I don't think nonbinary people can really achieve meaningful equality and inclusion on the same level until we are able to have equally diverse and useful ways of describing ourselves, and a stronger understanding of how we relate to each other as a community.

[lunathewafflelord]

HEY can anyone out there explain what the differences between being genderfluid and multigender are? Preferably from people who identify as either of those genders but other LGBTQ people can put in some input.

Is the main difference that multigender people feel like both genders at the same time and genderfluid people shift between the two? I’d love to learn more about this!

[saffigon]

I'm a trans man and I'm having a hard time understanding one of your posts.

How can trans Men be lesbian? The definition of lesbian is non-man loving non-man.

I understand he/him lesbians, because pronouns don't equal gender.

But to me calling a trans man a lesbian for liking women seems... against the whole point. Wouldn't that be against their gender identity, since lesbian is non men loving non men?

I am genuinely trying to understand this and don't mean to come off as rude. I am also in the lgbtq community, I'm bisexual and transgender. I try to get your points.

Also if I understood the entire post wrong, MB. I'm just trying to make sure i can accept everyone.

Trans men have had a connection to the lesbian community for decades. The line between butch and transmasc "non-man" lesbian and male lesbian is blurry sometimes. If you want historical evidence, Alison Bechdel has some comic strips from the 1980s and 1990s where male lesbians are present. Trans men who like women often identify as lesbians before they realize they're trans, and so they have an established connection to the lesbian community and continue to identify with it as they transition. Some also feel that their attraction to women is inherently queer and don't really feel like their attraction is "straight". Not all straight men identify as lesbians or lesboys, obviously, but it's an option for those who feel like it applies to them.

Also, "non-man" and "non-woman" just create a new binary that's exorsexist and based in racist ideology if applied generally. Not everyone fits neatly into the "non-man" or "non-woman" categories. Multigender people, for example, may be both man and woman, and don't fit into "non-man" or "non-woman" neatly. To say a multigender person who is both man and woman is "non-man" or "non-woman" erases at least half of their identity. Or demigender people who identify with a binary gender can be both not that binary gender and that binary gender. So saying a demiman is "non-man" is to erase their identity as a man and to say they're exclusively "non-man" is to erase their identity as nonbinary. This is also true for genderfluid and genderflux people who are sometimes completely binary men. To say they're exclusively "non-man" is to erase their identity as a man and to say they're exclusively "man" is to erase their identity as nonbinary.

Post by @this-is-exorsexism and @our-lesboy-experience found here

I'm white so I'm mostly going to point to this post by @moonshinedyke to explain the racism surrounding "nonman" and "nonwoman" as terms. Historically, "nonman" and "nonwoman" have been used to degender Black people and the term also degenders Two-Spirit people. As he points out in the post, it's fine to use the definitions for your own attraction, but using them to define the label as a whole is antiblack.

This isn't to like shame you or anything, just to give explanations and resources as to some things. I would recommend checking out the @/our-lesboy-experience blog to learn more about lesboys in general. This Carrd also has a good amount of information.

As for my own experiences, lesbian was the first queer identity I had. I started identifying as a lesbian since I was about 12. I realized I was trans when I was about 15. I've strayed away from the lesbian label because I felt it was "too gendered" both in definition and in the association. As I've gotten older, I've started to connect with the lesbian community again and feel comfortable identifying as a butch lesbian alongside being a trans man. My girlfriend identifies as a bi lesbian, and we consider our relationship both to be a lesbian one and to be a straight one. My attraction to women is both lesbian and straight and it fluctuates between what it is from day to day. I also identify as bigender and have some connection to lesbian identity because of my gender identity being a little funky.

A better definition of lesbian would be queer attraction to women. It includes people of all gender identities and is generally a good faith way to understand lesbianism.

[lycandrophile]

building off of this post, people love to say that “trans men want to keep going into in women’s spaces after they transition because they just want to have the best of both worlds!” but in my experience, there are four main reasons that a trans man might use a “women’s space” after they transition:

it’s an important resource that’s being arbitrarily gendered and we need to use it regardless of which gender is “supposed to” be using it.

it’s a public facility where we’d be significantly less safe in the men’s version and we have to choose our safety over our desire to not be misgendered.

it’s a social space that we’ve been in since before we transitioned and we don’t want to suddenly be cut off from our friends and support system.

the trans man in question is multigender and is also a woman, or maintains some other kind of connection to womanhood alongside their manhood.

do any of those sound like “evil men rubbing our dirty little hands together making plans for how we’re going to get male privilege without losing access to women’s spaces” to you? they sure don’t to me!

i think it’s pretty reasonable that we want to transition without losing the ability to access the resources we need, keep ourselves safe, keep up the relationships we’ve built, and express all facets of who we are. all of those are really, like, pretty basic parts of having good life and we shouldn’t be expected to give them up when we transition.

and honestly, if you claim to care about trans people, you should not be so attached to the gendering of these spaces that you’re willing to deny trans men those things for the sake of upholding gender restrictions. anyone who prioritizes the sanctity of gender segregated spaces over the safety, health, and well-being of trans men is a fucking transphobe. (yes, even if you’re trans yourself.)

and that’s what really gets me about all of this — the vehemence with which people are willing to defend those spaces being entirely and inflexibly gendered, despite how enforcement of gendered spaces has hurt trans people time and time again. gendered spaces have literally always been set up in ways that force trans people to break the rules; some trans men might break those rules in ways that don’t make sense to you, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong for us to do so! it just means you might feel weird about it and that’s okay, discomfort won’t kill you.

“but using women’s spaces after transitioning to male defeats the purpose of transitioning! the whole point of transitioning is to be able to live as a man!”

and who are you to tell trans men what the point of our transitions should be? what if the purpose of us transitioning is just to live the happiest and most fulfilled life possible, and forcing ourselves into unsafe spaces or denying ourselves access to important resources or cutting ourselves off from important people in our lives or pushing down the more complex parts of our genders would “defeat the purpose of transitioning” for us? what if being able to go where cis men go is just one part of a much bigger journey, not the end goal?

if you really want to talk about “defeating the purpose,” let’s talk about how policing which gendered spaces trans men can access defeats the purpose of trying to stop cis people from policing which gendered spaces trans people can access, because it allows the policing of trans people in gendered spaces to continue in some form instead of eliminating it altogether. let’s talk about how using “evil men invading women’s spaces” rhetoric against trans men defeats the purpose of trying to stop cis people from using it against trans women, because it allows the rhetoric to continue in some form instead of eliminating it altogether.

the point of saying “let people decide which gendered space is right for them” isn’t to make sure everyone uses the one aligned with their “true gender,” it’s to let people do what’s best for them without punishing them for their choice. sometimes the best choice is one that seems wrong from the outside, and you need to learn to live with that.

i just think we as a community need to be more hostile toward people who think upholding the sanctity of a gendered space is more important than giving trans people the freedom to move through the world without being punished for existing in those gendered spaces. that kind of thinking is fucking dangerous and it’s weird as hell that some of y’all are so comfortable with it being directed at us.

moral of the story: stop giving so much of a shit about where a trans man decides to piss or see a doctor or hang out or whatever else. even if you think he doesn’t belong there, he probably has a good reason to be there anyway, and that reason is frankly none of your damn business.

[moss-opossum]

Hey I decided to make a social Discord server for trans-umbrella folk who are also aspec. Most of the trans servers I’ve run into have an implicit assumption that members are allo and it made me feel kind of unwelcome or like I was being pushed out of conversations I was already participating in, but the aspec servers I’ve tried joining were mostly comprised of cis people. There are Sapphic trans servers and Achillean trans servers, so why not a server for aspec folks as well?

<begin self-promo>

Aspec Trans Gang is a social server intended for gender-variant adults who are on the asexual spectrum, the aromantic spectrum, or the aplatonic spectrum!

This 18+ server is SFW and new users are verified by staff to prevent trolling. Neopronoun, multigender, xenogender, non-dysphoric, gender- and orientation-questioning friendly! All good-faith identities are welcome!

🌿40+ self-assignable roles

🌿 Dozens of cute emotes

🌿 Categories for hobbies, health, and gender/orientation discussion

🌿 Icebreaking, poll, and QOTD channel

🌿 Resource-sharing channel

🌿 Ticket bot for easy staff outreach

[genderqueerdykes]

is it entirely possible for me to want to, like, identify as cis AND trans ? for context I was born female, but I'm a transman .. To put it simply .. And I have an odd and confusing relationship with my womanhood, but it feels right in a way to say I'm a transman but also transfem ?? Buf like, cis trans man and transfem. Does this, work ?? I could probably ramble for hours about why I want to use both these labels. But I'm not sure if it'd be, disrespectful ?? misusing the terms ?? Just plain odd ??

Your blog is incredibly informative and your answers are as well so, yeah. can I use the labels transman and transfem.

yes! this absolutely works!!!!!

you are the type of person i've made a ton of posts about and i hope you don't mind if i'm kinda long winded here because i've been begging people to understand folks like you exist for weeks now and people just keep calling me transmisogynistic and it's absurd, i had no idea so many people didn't know your identity existed. here are some of the posts i've made about bigender cis men/transfems:

there is a long, long history of people who identify as cis men and a trans woman or transfem person. this is so common it's unreal. back in the 50's and 60's a lot of drag queens had this exact relationship with gender- sometimes presenting as cis men, or maybe still presenting as femme but being men. there were femme gays hanging out at the drag bars flirting with men and lesbians- identifying as femmes and men. there were drag balls held by people who had this exact relationship with gender going on around the time. you can read about a lot of these people in leslie feinberg's works actually!

the thing is is being cis doesn't cancel out being trans. bigenderism is complicated. if someone wants to consider both of their identities trans, they can. if someone wants to consider themselves cis and trans, they can! you are not in the wrong for being this gender! i've met so many people in your shoes! i lived with a lot of transfems for a while and a lot of them were cis men and trans women at the same time! a lot of trans women still feel like cis men, especially gay men. that's totally fine!

im really glad you took the time to send this ask because this is what i mean when i say that it's not okay to shit on cis men in the queer community or in general because cis men *can be queer*. you can be a cis man and a trans woman or any other number of genders at the same time and it doesn't not invalidate your transness! they don't have to cancel each other out, they exist at the same time independently of one another and it's a beautiful thing!

if you'd like to talk about it, please feel encouraged to do so! i've been trying to get people to understand people like you are out there and to not be shitty to people who are or read as cis men. it's okay to be a cis man and another queer identity! i think you rock! there are a ton of bigender cis men/transfems out there! you are not alone!

[queering-ecology]

Eluding Capture: The Science, Culture, and Pleasure of “Queer” Animals by Stacy Alaimo (final)

Eluding Capture

“A universe of differing naturecultures, propelled by the pursuit of pleasure as well as other forces, can hardly serve as a foundation for biological reductionism, gender essentialism, heteronormativity, or models of human exceptionalism” (64).

Researchers (Vasey et al) in their investigation of female-female mounting behavior concluded that this behavior is ‘female typical’ and not some attempt at executing ‘male mounting behavior’. “The macaques may remind us of Judith Butler’s argument that homosexuality is not an imitation of heterosexuality” (65).

Most feminist theory distinguishes between sex and gender, positing ‘gender’ as cultural, and thus solely a human construct  (65). But Roughgarden, on the other hand, sees gender in nonhuman animals, defining it as “the appearance, behavior, and lived history of a sexed body” (2004, 27) (65). Many species have more than three genders.

The white throated sparrow apparently has “four genders, two male, two female”—these genders are distinguished by either a white stripe or a tan tripe and correspond to aggressive an territorial versus accommodating behaviors. 90% of the breeding involves a tan stripe bird (of either sex) with a white stripe bird (of either sex) (9) (65).

The call by researchers like Haraway to see animals as ‘other worlds, replete with significant otherness’ (2003, 25) is useful when trying to make sense of the sheer multitude and complexity of animal cultures that don’t fit within human—even feminist, even queer, models. These ‘queer species’ are queer in a multitude of ways but rarely do any of them correspond to modern categories of gay or lesbian.

Queer ecologists such as Roughgarden and Bagemihl argue that “many non-Western cultures have a greater knowledge of and appreciation for the sexual diversity of the nonhuman world” and that “contemporary theoretical accounts of sexual diversity pale next to both the scientific account of animal sexuality and knowledge systems of particular indigenous groups, who recognize sexual diversity” (66).

“The animal world—right now, here on earth—is brimming with countless gender variations and shimmering sexual possibilities: entire lizard species that consist only of females who reproduce by virgin birth and also have sex with each other; or some multigendered society of the Ruff, with four distinct categories of male birds, some of whom court and mate with one another; or female Spotted Hyenas and Bears who copulate and give birth through their ‘penile’ clitorides, and male Great Rheas who possess ‘vaginal’ phalluses (like the females of their species) and raise young in two-father families; or the vibrant transsexualities of coral reef fish, and the dazzling intersexualities of gynandromorphs and chimeras. In their quest for ‘postmodern’ patterns of gender and sexuality, human beings are simply catching up with the species that have preceded us in evolving sexual and gender diversity—and aboriginal culture have long recognized this” (1999, 260-61)( 66).

Despite our endless attempts at rationalization and categorization and trying to make sense of the world, the sheer diversity and multiplicity among animal sexuality and gender, sex, reproduction and childrearing still makes our minds boggle. These moments of wonder ignite the sense that suddenly the world is not only “more queer than one could have imagined, more surprisingly itself, meaning that it confounds our categories and systems of understanding”….queer animals elude perfect modes of capture. By doing so, “queer animals dramatize emergent worlds of desire, action, agency and interactivity that can never be reduced to a background or resource against which the human defines himself” (67).

“Is the diversity of sexual behavior that we can observe in nature anything other than mindbogglingly beautiful?” (Homosexual Behavior in Animals: An Evolutionary Perspective by Volker Sommer, 2006 370).

“Nature’s inventiveness far outruns our meager ability to categorize her productions,” and “the sheer inventiveness—exuberance—of nature overwhelms” (68).

“World is crazier and more of it than we think” (Louis MacNeice) “The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed” (Albert Einstein)

Sexual diversity in nature, is not only interesting from a scientific standpoint but these phenomena are also ‘capable of inspiring our deepest feelings of wonder and our most profound sense of awe’ (1999, 6) (68). Which the writer hopes will inspire greener politics and greater interest in the topic of 'significant otherness' in nonhuman animals.

This brings to mind for me, the concept of Wakan Tanka; The Great Mystery. Wakan Tanka is a Lakota concept of all that is still a mystery, that cannot be understood, and the great beyond—the cosmos and all that is not known yet here on Earth. I connect this to the previous text because to me, the indigenous people have always had this sense of appreciation, wonder and love for the mysterious and the diversity of our world.

[quark-nova]

Do including t4t folks who date outside their gender include nblnb and nblm/nblw? Does it include people in these groups who are in an AMAB+AFAB relationship? IDK if this is tmi, I'm AMAB transneutral enby, my husband is a AFAB trans man. We've been together a decade , he's currently also pregnant: we're in the process of having a child. Whenever we bring up our relationship in t4t spaces, people either treat me like a cis man who doesn't belong in these spaces and as if our relationship is basically c4t MLM, or treat him as as a bi butch woman as opposed to a trans man especially when people found out he was pregnant and wasn't interested in his explicitly queer masculinity and transition making him identical to a cis man.

Plus, neither of us really pass due to how we present ourselves, I at most look like a flamboyant gay man, tall lanky hairy and bearded who plays around with makeup expression but doesn't gravitate towards feminine wear. He's gendered as a butch lesbian almost exclusively as opposed to a man, he doesn't bind which alone gets him misgendered, he wears masc clothing but a variety of factors in which he presents himself and even basic things such as how his voice sounds are enough for him to lose that association with manhood and gets him clocked. Do I need to be transfem and transition to look like a woman for our relationship to be seen as "t4t" enough? I'm not a trans woman or transfem and I'll never be, does that make me a cis invader incroaching on actual t4t people? Does he have to transition specifically in a way to fit cis centric standard of manhood, does he have to desire top and bottom surgery as opposed to "just" hormones in order to be seen as his actual gender in t4t spaces? Are t4t people not allowed to have children nautrally, does that makes us too close to cishets in their eyes for people's comfort?

We have mutual nblnb friends , same AMAB+AFAB, agender + multigender. Both of them present in ways that align with their AGAB, they're not men or women but their relationship in t4t spaces has been dismissed and treated as a "cishet relationship" constantly, with them being actively misgendered even in trans positive spaces. Are they just straight too, silly little cishets who want to hog up t4t resources from? Do t4t relationships only count as queer if they're binary/binary? If both people have the same gender? If people go through full medical transition? If they're both the same AGAB? What makes t4t inherently worthy in the eyes of people within the community, none of us are aware because we've all been actively excluded or dismissed for one reason or another, had our transness intrinsically erased due to not being the "expected" t4t couple.

The way people talk about t4t as this club which queerness is so narrow and if you fall out of what's expected for t4t you're basically straight? There are straight t4t people who are awesome and face their own isolation within queer spaces that I cannot speak on, so I won't. Having different AGABs or not being strictly MLM/WLW just feels like a quick way to get misgendered or to have your queerness and transness taken into question. It sucks. T4T is celebrated but only if you're a certian type of T4T.

Yes, both you and your friends should absolutely be included in T4T discussions! These are an extremely valuable experiences that you're bringing, and dismissing it as "c4t" or "cishet" is just misgendering. NB4NB relationships are not any less queer, and they're not "cishet lite" just for being of different AGABs - once more, it's reducing nonbinary people down to their AGAB, which is sad to see so often in queer/trans spaces.

I haven't been in T4T relationships myself so I can't comment on the isolation that some kinds of T4T relationships face, but it's absolutely true that some types get talked about more than others, creating unfair expectations for people whose relationships don't fit inside this norm. Which is sad, as subverting expectations of gender like you do is as queer as queer can be!

[yourfavusescontradictorylabels]

whats mspec gay/lesbian?

There's not really one way to describe WHAT an mspec gay or mspec lesbian is, and that's partially because being mspec is a spectrum, and everyone's experience being an mspec gay/lesbian/mono is typically very personal.

For some, being mspec gay/lesbian/mono is because they...

Are using the split-attraction model / SAM ( ex: biromantic and homosexual )

Are questioning their identity and are confused about whether they're mono or mspec ( ex: someone questioning if they're straight or pansexual )

Are nonbinary, genderfluid, or multigender and their attraction feels both mono and mspec ( ex: a genderfluid person feeling like they're both a lesbian and straight )

Are someone with a fluid orientation ( ex: abrosexual / abroromantic ) and switching between two or more identities ( ex: an abrosexual person who defines themselves as bigay because they're fluid between the labels bisexual and gay )

Are a system that is collectively made up of mono and mspec headmates / alters ( ex: a system being made up of both lesbian and pansexual headmates / alters so they collectively identify as a pan lesbian )

And a ton of other reasons!

To put it simply, there is no one definitive mspec mono experience or explanation.

If you are still confused I would recommend these sources for more information on mspec monos:

Mspec gay carrd

Mspec gay culture is carrd

Mspec lesbian carrd

Lesbian label history

Bi lesbian / gay masterdoc

Straight gay / vincian carrd

Straight lesbian carrd

If I find more good resources I will add on!

[genderkoolaid]

in the group of "men" there will always be women. in the group of "women" there will always be men. no matter how you define these groups there will always be people on the "opposite" side. frankly this should be a basic tenet of transfeminism because its vital for all trans people- not just multigender people. its vital that any resource catering to men or to women understands that they will also, inevitably, have someone of the "other" gender who needs their services. its vital that any discussion of gendered experiences understands that no experience is incapable of being had by the "other" gender. tbh if including trans people in your feminism doesn't shake up your entire understanding of gender you aren't doing it right

[transenbyconfessions]

Believe it or not, when I was originally writing this, there was a structure and a coherent point, but it actually ended up being all the transgendered thoughts in my brain that I can’t share with anyone irl, because I’m closeted. TLDR: what’s gender even? and why am i scared of coming out to a trusted ally? Enjoy!

It took me a while to figure out I was trans, but eventually the final nail in the coffin was when I realised I never liked (romantically) any of the men that I’d thought I’d liked, and it was gender envy or platonic attraction. That was the same day I realised I was aromantic, so that’s awesome!

The problem is that I don’t know what “flavour” of trans I am. I don’t feel particularly like any gender. I’m not a boy, I’m not a girl, but I’m also not non-binary, if that makes sense. Logically, that would make me agender, right? Except, I still don’t identify with that label. I also don’t identify with gender-fluid, demiboy or demigirl, multigender, or any other microlabels. Even on a larger scale, the only label I’ve been able to put on my gender identity is “trans”. Not genderqueer or anything else. I just like he/they pronouns (which I haven’t told anyone about yet, but I’ve avoided making other people and myself use she/her whenever possible) and I go about my day (I say, as if I don’t have gender dysphoria). When I have the resources, it would be cool to have some surgeries and a little bit of hrt, but since that’s a while away yet, I just have to wait.

I am planning to be out at school by the end of the year, so I can go for senior council as myself, but that does mean that I need to come out to people. Funnily enough, I’m nervous about coming out to my friend, but I have literally no reason to. He’s cool about trans people, and he’d accept me being trans.

Submitted March 2, 2023

[transtheology]

Hi, I'm a multigender trans intersex person (bigender transmascfem androgyne, sometimes agender) and I've been feeling a calling towards some kind of occult / pagan / witchcraft practice but am having a very hard time finding anything that will honor both my multigenderness and my intersex body/variation. I was wondering if you knew of any resources or specific practices that might be accepting of this? I had a friend tell me to try out Wicca but it seemed to be very binary-focused in everything I read. Thank you so much for your time!

Wicca is definitely pretty binary focused. Its also diverse and there are many different ways of practicing Wicca, but the fundamental theology is based in a strict binary of the Mother Goddess and the Horned God, and a lot of its beliefs are based on this balance of male/female. As a result much of early Wicca (and some modern Wicca) was very homophobic & gender-sex essentialist (there's also Dianic Wicca, which is goddess-centric and therefore very popular with TERFs). There are trans Wiccans & Wiccan paths which are less binary (or less strict about it), but I wouldn't blame you for not wanting to engage with it.

With Witchcraft, there's a lot more room because "witchcraft" itself isn't its own spiritual tradition as much as a practice or skill you can engage in. In a very general sense Witchcraft is "doing x thing to get y result (through some spiritual/supernatural/mystical method)," so how much you get into cissexism and binary thinking is really dependent on how you see things. For example, a Wiccan might have a very binary view of magic & spiritual energy, but another person might not consider gender at all when doing magic.

A lot of European & WANA (West Asia North Africa) polytheism has some genderfuckery somehwere in its mythology. Inanna/Ishtar in Sumerian/Akkadian/Assyrian polytheism is one example: you might be aware that She had transfeminine devotees called the gala, and she was described as having the ability to "turn a man into a woman and a woman into a man." She has a myth where she descends into the Underworld to confront her sister Ereškigal and gets trapped there. To get her out, Enlil/Ea creates either two sexless beings (gala-tura and kur-jara), or one androgynous being/eunuch (Asušunamir) to save her.

There's also Cybele/Magna Mater in Rome, who also had transfeminine devotees called galli. In Greek polytheism, there is Dionysus, who was heavily associated with gender non-conformity, having been raised as a girl in some versions & having the epithet Androgynos. Aphrodite has the form Aphroditus, who has a beard penis and was worshipped by male and female devotees through crossdressing rituals, and generally her role as Aphrodite Pandemos, a love goddess for all people, has made her popular with queer polytheists. There is also Hermaphroditus, the child of Aphrodite and Hermes, who became intersex/genderqueer when he joined bodies with the nymph Salmacis; a pool formed where this happened that was said to have the ability to androgynize anyone who bathed in it. They were, as you can imagine, heavily associated with androgyny and the union of male and female. In Norse Heathenry, Loki has been seen as an androgynous figure; he transforms into a woman/female animal in multiple myths, and in the Hyndluljóð he eats the heart of a woman and gives birth to several creatures.

There are definitely other deities who have androgynous aspects who I'm forgetting, but in general you can find a lot of genderqueerness throughout polytheist religion. Although there are still transphobic & intersexist witches/pagans/polytheists, and those who use ancient patriarchal practices to justify their behavior. In general I'd recommend seeking out specifically trans & intersex pagans/polytheists/witches and learning from their practices to see what calls to you. Even beyond ancient practices, a lot of modern trans & intersex polytheists worship modern, specifically trans forms of otherwise binary deities. so don't feel the need to limit yourself to just what people in the past practiced. I hope this was helpful.

[multigenderswag]

Do you have any resources on knowing if you're multigender, or any advice? I'm AFAB and reasonably sure I'm a woman, but beginning to wonder if there's not something else rattling around in there too.

Personally, I know I'm multigender because it feels wrong to not be two genders. Identifying as one single gender would cause me a lot of dysphoria, and that dysphoria is the main way I figured it out. For other people, they realized they were multigender due to the euphoria they felt from identifying as multigender. It depends on the person, whether their gender is based more on euphoria or dysphoria.

I'd advise just experimenting! Does it feel right to be multiple genders? Does it feel wrong to be one gender? You don't have to know right away, or ever. I wish you the best of luck with the gender(s).