#much less pay for a class
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regardless how many times ive posted about it before i Am offended that i have a 50s housewife ass life rn and i cant even do hard drugs about it
#it gets hard to be happy for people still at my dance studio growing up into young adults there and being part of the company and stuff#when its impossible for me to get there for the same reason i cant go anywhere fucking else#much less pay for a class#i guess parents stop going out of their way for you once you 'should' be able tk drive lmfao#pussygator proclamations
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Milk ref sheet done yaHOOOOOOOOOOO lookit my big beautiful baby they filled with joy and happiness
#milk#digital#mogimage#the worst part of making this was their fucked up hands#lemurs gotta lemur and grab fruits and branches and small animals and bugs but y'know its fucked up that they have weird hands#at least i was able to euphemistically state how much fun they have with themselves and their girlfriend#robbie just has fuckin. hoof fingers. it don't work like that for her#very sad about that#ANYWAY i learned recently from a discussion on discord about putting tattoos on furries that scars grow white fur sometimes#so i applied that here to make it look less like just fur texture on milk's arms#might tone it down eventually but im not certain#a side story about that is that milk changes the story behind all of their sh scars every time they're asked by someone they don't trust#like “yeah i broke some equipment in a hs chemistry class and stupidly tried to wipe up broken glass with my arms”#“i tried to hug a big cactus when i was younger”#or “i used to work in a kitchen and i was really bad at paying attention when cutting vegetables”#generally they just don't like to think about it so they wear funny arm socks or long sleeves most of the time but sometimes they don't car
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i'm making some moves toward finally learning the cello btw!!!!
#yesterday i talked about it with my teacher & my friend who's also learning cello#i'd have to rent a cello from another place but it's literally gonna cost less than i was paying to rent my violin#i just need to inquire about how much taking the 1-on-1 classes is gonna cost lol#i thiiink i know how much it costs and i think it's about what i'm saving in health insurance costs at my new job lmao#m.txt
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I'm actually rather surprised that not a single one of the boys made top three. but then again, I suppose the large number of straight men that play this game are not as visible in fan spaces as us lgbt. That is...a fortunate thing, though, I'd argue.
#bg3#thoughts about media#with how much you see of a certain little elf- I figured he'd make the top three. but I see I figured wrong!#the top classes do not surprise me at all.#I take great interest in strategy when it comes to dbd. so I pay the same attention to strategy in bg3.#the top three classes are some of the best classes to choose for combat.#theeeen the choices stray back into RP territory.#rogue has it's uses...but less so than warlock I'd argue.#I'd say wizard and cleric are stronger than rogue too.#hell. I multiclass star into wizard once he's gotten his lvl 3 thief perks. in part for tav lore reasons. in part to maximise his strengths#stealth just isn't consistent enough in this game to pay off. in my opinion.#like the best classes I'd say are sorcerer / paladin / bard / warlock.#fighter is good for multiclassing to gain action surge. and multiclassing into war/tempest cleric can be useful too.#but fully levelling either seems pointless imo.#the race choices are 100% because of RP reasons. the stats do not whatsoever show any influence from min/maxing stats and abilities.#if that were the case. half-orc would be the top. halfing. and drow. I think duegar is good too?#tiefling being up there isn't actually TOO bad either. they are decent for mage classes.#CANNOT believe evoker wizard is the most popular though. other subclasses have better perks imo.#I also think thief is the best subclass of rogue. extra bonus action? and falling damage reduction/cannot fall prone from falling? SO good.#also my sincere congrats to the 464 maniacs who've already destroyed honour mode. you people are bananas.
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I think it would be kinda funny if Roxy, with no attractions to run and not a lot else to do during the day, keeps getting really bored and showing up in the atrium with random shit that was discontinued years ago.
Like I dunno shows up driving a little train thing that used to drive people around all the different areas of the Plex or something and uses it to get people into areas they don't have a pass for as she runs over the staffbots that take your party passes. Starts her own robot wars thing on the main stage with a bunch of shitty remote controlled toys she found in the basement and taped a bunch of plastic cutlery to for weapons. Rallies a bunch of kids to call Freddy over and the second he pokes his head over the third floor balcony railing she fucking shoots him right in the face with a ball gun.
She does this kind of thing after hours too of course, but sometimes it's just a really slow day and she feels like the manager isn't mad at her enough yet lmao
#manager like: it's been a long week...#when it's only monday.#thing is she has literally nothing else to do#she's meant to entertain and she has no way of doing that other than arcade games and shit#which is bound to get boring eventually#hates golf so she's not playing that and she's banned from fazerblast#so either she goes and hangs out with the toddlers at the daycare (unlikely) watch a movie for the 800000th time in the theatre-#join Chica in her boring ass mazercise and fall over in a yoga class that's too slow for her#OR she can go bowling with Bonnie OR she can just piss the managers off and fuck off behind the scenes#just leaves to some abandoned area to entertain herself instead I guess#but like genuinely. she has so few choices and she's probably bored of all of them#why not spice it up with a remote control crab fight on the main stage? she's BORED!!!#she's got nothing better to do than hijack an old locomotive and start not-so-subtley sneaking people into places they didn't pay to go to!#some of these things don't even make her that much less bored but at least she's got something to do now!#might as well do it now she's got it right? management are gonna yell at her anyway!#choo choo motherfuckers Roxy just flattened a staffbot for shits and giggles!#quickly becoming the animatronic the kids think are so cool and amazing but are also too shy and nervous to approach#cause really who steals a fucking TRAIN?!#anyway.#roxanne wolf#fnaf security breach#WHY NOT PUT THIS IN THE MAIN TAGS ITS FUNNY#flys plex history#I guess? eh whatever close enough
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now that i managed to get meds for my adhd a couple months ago, i actually find it quite funny how so many people who "aren't addicted to anything" will look down on drug addicts who are addicted to "illegal" drugs like idk heroin or meth or what have you
and then turn around and go "i can't function without my morning coffee, but I'm not addicted, it just gets rid of my common caffeine withdrawal symptoms like headaches, dizzyness, tiredness (fatigue), general irritability, mental fogginess, nausea and my general bad mood in the morning, but seriously, I'm not addicted at all, I can just overall function way better with coffee in the morning and also throughout the rest of the day!"
yeah i bet you can function a lot better in your day to day life when you're not actively going through withdrawal and can get your fix several times a day at work or for less than 10 bucks at every corner in every city with even some fancy stuff on top that makes it taste even better.
yeah, you're SO much better and SO above the people who DO have a drug problem and have to spend half their paycheck or even more on their daily fix because their drug isn't so normalized that it's even considered a necessity of daily life and therefore can be gotten for cheap and the price of which is even regulated by the government is some countries.
and when i said "funny" i actually meant " incredibly infuriating and two-faced"
#i always thought this whole “addicts as 2nd class citizens” thing was bullshit#but now that i take daily meds myself i get it so much more than i did before#the average coffee drinking person is very much addicted to coffee#they get just better and cheaper access to their drug#and their price STAYS at less than 10 bucks#imagine if for every cup of coffee you had to pay 20% more than you did for the last one#the first is 10 bucks#but the next one is gonna cost you 12 bucks#the next is gonna cost 12.40#then 14.88#then 17.86#then 21.43#then 25.71#that's the price of your seventh cup#even if you only drink one cup per day the price of your daily fix has more than coubled in just one week#and it's gonna keep increasing#your 8th cup is gonna cost 30.86$#that's a whole lot more than the 10$ you paid for your first cup isn't it?#and it's only gonna go up#each cup will be 20% more expensive than your last#9th cup: 37$#10th cup: 44.43$#that's a lot of money to pay for just one cup how could you be so irresonsible with your money?#but you need it because it helps you function#and not having it gives you withdrawal symptoms which suck#so is 50$ really that much to pay for being able to function that day?#11th cup: 53.31$#12th cup: 63.99$#13th cup: 76.78$#two weeks in and you're getting close to spending 100$ a day to just be able to function
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It's always interesting to hear about people's weird/unexpected "alternate life paths". Like, something that you could have done with your life, a job you almost took, a school you almost went to, etc - that was still actually realistic enough that it could have happened, but NOW it seems to not suit your current personality.
Like for example, I currently hate advertising (how manipulative it is, brands trying to be 'relatable', social media amplifying it to an obnoxious extreme, etc.) so much that even seeing a little ad before a youtube video is grating to even witness, but there was a point in time where I was genuinely seriously considering going into marketing/making commercials as a career lol. Or like, I have a relative who was very inclined to be a pastor when they were younger, even though today they're a super strong atheist, etc. etc.
#BECAUSE I knew I really liked filming and editing things and doing set design and costume design (from having done little bits of that#here and there in media classes and my own stuff - i used to be a lot more into making videos than I am now). BUT I was always thinking#that a movie is WAAY to big and long. even a short film. So I was trying to think of ways I could still like#have the fun of scouting locations to film and dressing up actors and etc. etc. without it having to be a Huge Million Dollar Production#on tv show or movie level. SO then I was thinking about like... just doing commercials. Or music videos. Like shorter things where I still#get the fun of the filming and everything but it's less of an intensive long term project.#So there is an alternate version of me (I suppose if i somehow did not end up having physical and mental health issues#as badly somehow.. or like.. randomly came into wealth and was able to pay my way through a nice college despite missing#days constantly being out because I'm sick or something lol) that works in some corporate advertising office coming up with commercials#and directing or filming them or doing the sets for them or something in that general vicinity.#I also was considering being a corporate psychologist. or whatever its called.. oh from google:#''Industrial and organizational (I/O) psychologists study and assess individual group and organization dynamics in the workplace''#I don't think I even knew what the job entailed. I was at the time just thinking like.. the type of person that comes into a business offic#and gives everyone personality assessments or does MBTI or big-5 testing crap for whatever reason that some businesses get that#done for people. Really i just wanted to be in a Corporate Big Office setting yet still do psychology. Because I used to be really fixated#on living in a big city. Like the ideas of everything being walkable. picking up a coffee in the morning. walking to my job in a Big#Skyscraper Building. people watching in a huge hotel lobby for lunch. flying frequently (I love airplanes and airports aesthetically).#living in an apartment with a giant window overlooking the city. etc. etc. BUT that was before i had really BEEN to a city. Then I actually#hung around a city a few times and went places and I was like... AUGh... The Sensory Overwhelm.. cars people lights loudness noise scary#everything happening all at once. etc. etc. (though even when I wanted to live in a city i NEVER strove for the Night Life. when i say I#enjoy city imagery I mean like... in the day time. Many people who like cities talk about The Night Life and post pictures of cities all#lit up at night and clubs and dancing and restaurants. none of that EVER appealed to me. perhaps a sign I am not a real city person. Like#I am NOT standing in a crowded bar full of loud people in the middle of the night lol.. get AWAY from me!!) but I do adore the#architecture of like bright white clean sterile modern spaces like huge airport lobbies or malls or etc. I think thats what reminded me of#city and what I liked about the idea of that life. Like I always LOVED the layout of schools and hospitals and trainstations and public#transport in general. Though even then I knew enough that I would not be a good architect/city planner. so I guess my adoration for those#spaces was merely to be channeled into LIVING there. but then I realized I didn't even really want to do that that much. I mean I still#definitely aim to live NEAR a city. like the little areas outside of it. I would never live in a rural place 4 hours from anything. I liter#ally just COULDNT since I need close access to hospitals sometimes lol. But I used to want to live in the CENTER of citites like high rise#condo. and now I'm like.... eh....... perhaps a smaller quieter walkable space nearby lol.. ANYWAY.. alternate me in my Business Suit eheh
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why is it that financial aid doesnt cover taking one class. why is it that having adhd and not having access to technology and not being able to afford a textbook and getting dropped from a class for lack of participation (because you Can Not and also the workload for the class is SO very heavy) suddenly disqualifies you from any sort of financial assistance suddenly making you owe almost $800 (which you do not have) which further distracts you from paying attention so you can pass that class and not waste that same almost $800 and uh yeah
anyway i am ever so very financially In Trouble uh if anyone wants to be a bud and have my eternal gratitude.. $lunchpunk
#as if i didnt ALREADY havr so many fucking Expenses i am paying and i am also trying to save up So much money to move out and also keep thi#this car and also have insurance and have food and take care of my cat and the love of my life..#i am. fwustrated my job is Very part time and whenever i do get hired somewhere else its still gonna be ridiculous#hrgrh ok im gonna stop complaining i need to try and clean and read for that class or someyhing#i am in. a not good place rn i feel uncomfortable posting this especially being Less Active but like. .. yeah
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Ough figuring out travel on my own sorta. Being independent is hard why have I decided to go abroad which will force me to figure out solo travel more
#hmm take a plane that is only 1 hour and lets me go to all of my classes#or spend 70 less dollars cause holy crap why does this process cost so much and im not paying attention in those classes anyway with a train#and trains are better for the environment and I havent been on many trains before but I think theyre cool but I do like airplane turbulence#this is a post i made#im taking the train
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i fucking hate being black in america sometimes
#vent#i love being black and i love my body of course#but it’s so hard. we’re always brushed over and if we say anything about it#we’re demeaning other causes and causing an issue…#there has been bills passed for the protection of the lgbtqia and asian/pasific islander communities#but there’s still no bill passed for anti lynching#black women are still payed less than white women#and i know ; i absolutely am so glad those bills were passed#i myself am queer and my boyfriend is asian#but im just . im really upset and sad#i feel over shadowed and it’s already hard with discrimination and micro aggressions and#if the kids in my class are joking about lynching me now#wjo knows what my future will be like#jf.txt#tw vent#i wish living life wasn���t so hard man. like#let’s take a daily thing like school#the teachers think that i’m up to no good just because i “look suspicious”! i have to work extra hard to be nice to everyone#and have a great record but#i see kids all the time who get away with so much bad stfuf#but then when im the one who does it i get in trouble…#i don’t feel good at all really… hopefully things can change soon
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I fear that culturally we're too anti-intellectual for this conversation, but I wish we could talk about how academics are in a similar position to writers/actors/musicians in that we do all the labor for institutions like universities AND academic presses and do not get the pay, treatment, or residuals that we deserve while it all gets funneled to the higher up admin and for-profit entities
#how long can we say 'email the author of a paper if you dont have access to a journal ' before we finally grapple with the fact#that scholars do not own or financially benefit from their work#and in fact often have to PAY for a greater number of people to have access to their work through open access#also I do not think that anyone who does not work in academia has any idea just hot little professors/instructors/lecturers/etc are paid#like as an undergrad I would have guessed that faculty make low six figures#and that felt very reasonable to me#now that i'm a phd candidate i know thats a DREAM number that most people will never see#we talk about how little public school teachers are paid and most faculty make less#if youre a college student think about how much you pay in tuition and know that your teacher would be lucky to make half that in a year#as an adjunct i taught two sections of 30 students each and made less than 4000 TOTAL for the semester#even as a phd candidate at an R1 I make roughly 15 percent of the tuition paid for each class I teach#and that's as instructor of record. not a teaching assistant#anyway there is no separate struggle. all labor is exploited under capitalism
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So I could really use some advice
#on a guy#if he actually likes me#because i'm really oblivious and i can't tell for sure from any signs he might give#but there could be a lot of signs 😂#so if anyone can help me out or tell me your opinion 🙈#it's a guy i go to uni with and had a class with we're now friends and hang out a lot ☺️ but maybe it could become sth more...#well i really like him he's so nice fun to be around easy to talk to and so supportive 🥰#actually i think i never liked a guy like him 🥺 because all the things i'm scared or worried about in a relationship are less so with him..#and i think maybe it really could work while otherwise i often just wanna 'escape' not literally but you know#so we saw each other a lot lately like every week or more often than once a week#and he also texts me a lot or just randomly called me to ask me things or make plans :)#he just send me a youtube video link i need to look at it later 😄#when we meet we always hug as a greeting and goodbye 🥹#also he had a gf until april so i'm not sure if he'd be ready already but anyway#and we always talk about lots of things and he's so interested in what i have to say#we onced talked for like two hours in front of the door at night 😂#when we meet and go eat something he always pays for me and i kinda feel bad about it 😅#because it must cost him so much money so last time at the cinema i insisted to pay haha#and he finds it really cool that i play tennis and didn't mind i spend so much time doing it#bc i met some guy who didn't so much because it meant i have less time to see him ig#but that's really respectful#and he always compliments me about so many things#also once we took a selfie together which i then sent him and he was like that he's unphotogenic on it unlike me#which i didn't know how to react because i never look photogenic#so i was like “noo that's not true i'm the most unphotogenic person ever normally”#and he was like “i can’t believe that” which i don't see but 😂#and yeah he played tennis with me after i asked him if he wanted and he also always offers me his help#when i was decorating my room if i need help with carrying or he often wants to carry my bag#and he sent me old childhood pictures of him and just funny one so did i then#he also sent me one of the sweetest good luck messages before i played a tennis match for my club 🥹
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it’s supposed to snow and be gross all day tomorrow but i wanna go to the gym and thrift and go for a walk😭 i have a little bit of school work to catch up on and i wanna revise my notes for a test that’s coming up at the end of the month. but i wanna go outside first omg
#text#my sister bought a folding treadmill and i wanna see if she’ll let me use it if it’s too gross to go out tomorrow#but fr i haven’t been OUT of my house (aside from work) in almost a month. and im feeling it#if i get certified after this class. i could work remotely. and i WANT to but i also can’t be here all day#i’d be making more so i could afford to rent somewhere. renting in south jersey is fucking insane rn and i wouldn’t be able to afford it..#i don’t wanna necessarily move FAR away from home but i can’t afford anything at all in nj. and i don’t rly wanna live in philly#so i’ve been looking around in pa + delaware but if im moving kinda far away why not just move a couple states away where its a little less#expensive 😭#and ik once i move out ill want to try taking dating a little more seriously#the most realistic future: i wfh and continue to pay off student loans before moving out. and i feel insane and i have no privacy#and my anxiety doesn’t get that much better bc my house is chaotic + i don’t LEAVE for work and i don’t go out#my parents aren’t like. expecting me to move out anytime soon but i can’t stand living with three dogs. it’s so overwhelming all the time#i should save my money and not move out. but omg
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i dont wanna decide on a career unfortunately everyone wants me to soso bad
#i have to have it in. checks watch. 6 months maximum :)#just because i want biomedical something its what im good at and i cant not help people#like thats not some hero complex thing if o dont get motivated by helping people i will be a danger to myself within a couple months#but guys i am fucking ASS at coding. im goated at block coding i always make it past that#but my neocities wont work even tho im basically copy and pasting from html tutorials#i walk into the room and the machine makes it clear that it does NOT fuck with me#maybe i want biomedical research or something thats a little less hands on#or maybe an occupational therapy direction because i learn a lot about disabilities in my free time#or one of the cna or ekg practicum classes i can take through the local college#OR i can pay minimum a couple thousand for coding classes and brute force it#or stay biomedical engineering and focus on improving the mechanical aspects of existing biomed devices without personally coding as much#or veer way off course for something in sustainability#im literally just gonna end up teaching ap bio somewhere lmfao. why are we stressing#< NO hate to ap bio teachers i fuck with you#but i see that shit in my future Vividly#(or i could plan curriculums for teaching biology and standardize methods for courses such as pltw in the real setting ETC ETC ETC)
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I really need to redeem my singular yukichi drawing cos that was not good™ and he deserves better
#betty's usagi rambles#<- idk if ill need this but i have one that i used for tmnt and fnaf and they barely get used sooo#anyways finally reading yhe idw run was a misake cos now i have a little rabbit man roating in my brain whos only in like#i wanna say maybe 20 issues? probably less#slowly trying to reread all the stuff before that cos i binged it when i was like 15 or something?#maybe more like 14?#it was in that little window between 2012 and rise but after id binged (most of) 2003#so like ???#anyways its been like 4-5 years and i manged to devour them in like a month maybe cos i reading them insead of paying attention in class#tldr im reading the usagi comics nd they are so much better than i remember
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so do people who don't have rhythm, when they hear a song, do they think that the notes are played just whenever (in regards to both timing and pitch) or do they know that there's a more or less predictable pattern to it, that when you have a melody consisting of exactly one note at a time, that a skilled enough musician can add more notes to it to make it sound fuller (less lonely) and (often) better?
#like no shame or hate to anyone I'm just still perplexed how some people legitimately cannot hear the rhythm of a song when they hear it#like HOW#it's RIGHT THERE#HOW CAN YOU NOT HEAR IT??????#this frustrated me SO MUCH when i took dance classes and the three boys i danced with couldn't hear the rhythm of the song like what?#and i also had to teach *them* *their own steps*#though i guess it's always possible that they just didn't want to dance at all#unlike me who actually did#and i ended up quitting less than halfway through because i didn't wanna be a teacher when i was taking the same classes they were taking#like they were taking those classes *with me*#we had the same eposure to knowledge#but they didn't pay attention#fuckers...
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