#< NO hate to ap bio teachers i fuck with you

[butchlifeguard]

i dont wanna decide on a career unfortunately everyone wants me to soso bad

[bqstqnbruin]

Mat Barzal Teacher AU

@nicohischier listen I will crtl f if I want to but I didn't do it for this one

But this is the 9th one I've written and posted since Monday so that's gotta be something, right?

Teacher AU Series

Warnings: swearing

WC: 813

______________________________

“What are you doing?” Thea asks, walking into Orla’s room. 

“Looking at my glassware.”

“Is it nice to look at?”

Orla sighs, closing her cabinets. “I have to replace like half of what I bought brand new last year because the students broke everything.” 

“Oh, shit.”

“Yeah, oh, shit.”

Orla gets her computer out of her bag, where it had been sitting since she arrived in her classroom for the first time since the last school year ended, pulling up the Flinn website and praying that they had some sort of sale going on. Not that it was likely for the stuff she needed, but she could still have hope. “How much will it cost you?”

“The smallest beakers I need are five dollars, the largest are twenty three.”

“Each?”

“Each,” she groans, drawing the end of the word out. 

“Oh, shit.”

Orla laughs. “I think we found our new catchphrase for the year.”

“A downgrade from last years, ‘oh, fuck,’ if I do say so,” Thea laughs. 

Orla stares at the screen, adding everything she needed to buy new into the cart and watching the total cost increase by the second. “Why don’t we work at a school that pays for everything?”

“Because I don’t think those schools exist.” The two of them sit there for a second, Orla staring at her computer trying to figure out how she was going to pay for everything she needed for the school year. “Oh, do you know who your new humanities partner is?”

Orla shrugs. “Whoever that new French teacher is, I haven’t met him yet.” 

Thea sighs. “I got paired with Richard,” she grimaces. “Why do we have to do this again?”

Orla sits up straight, folding her hands in front of her on her desk and tilting her head back so her nose was pointed into the air. Thea burst out laughing, knowing that she was imitating the vice principal they both hated. “To ensure that we are providing the most extensive cross-curricular education to our students.”

“More like to ensure that we have more busy work we don’t want to do. I mean, what cross-curriculum stuff can we do between biology and English?”

Thea looks at her friend as she puts her feet up on the top of the desk she had commandeered. “You teach AP Bio.”

“And?”

“Don’t they have to read and comprehend long passages just to write essays about them?”

“And?”

“Babe, that’s English. Richard is the perfect person to pair you with.” 

“He’s a dick.”

“In more ways than one.”

Thea laughs, getting up to head back to her classroom to do some work before they had to head to the auditorium for their first week back meetings. She turns back to Orla “Don’t you know French?”

“Not really, no.”

Thea, with her hand on the door, stares out the window in the center. “One of your ex’s did, though, right?”

“Two; blue eyes and nostril boy.”

Thea nods, a smirk on her face that told Orla she wasn’t going to like whatever her friend was about to do next. 

Orla sat back in her chair as Thea finally left, the door closing behind her. Why would she mention Orla’s exes? It wasn’t like either of them would be a teacher. Blue eyes moved away a while ago, Orla losing track of him after he ended up somewhere in Canada. Nostrils, however, was still somewhere on the island, which she knew because she ran into him way too often for her liking. They broke up because Orla thought he was way too self-involved; stopping just short of an actual temper tantrum when he didn’t get his way. 

Granted, they were younger and much more immature when they dated, but it was still enough that Orla knew she didn’t want that.

She shrugs it off, going back to the Flinn website to see if she could pull any of their free resources that could be useful in order to make her feel better about the nearly one thousand dollar glassware purchase she was about to make.

She’s interrupted by a knock at her door while she’s reading about a nuclear decay inquiry lab, not looking up to see who walks in when she calls for them to enter.

“Orla?” she hears a familiar voice, her head snapping from her computer to see the one person she didn’t want in her classroom.

“Mat?”

“What are you doing here?”

“I teach here,” she says, hoping he can’t hear the shaking in her voice. Having a short conversation with him when they randomly happened to see each other was fine, but this? “What are you doing here?”

“I work here.”

The realization of what Thea’s facial expression meant finally dawned on her. You could see who was coming into the building from the hallway outside Orla’s classroom thanks to the weird design of the building. Thea had to have seen Mat coming in. “You’re the new French teacher.”

“You’re my curriculum partner.” 

“Oh, shit.”

[brokendarkfairyempressforever]

Tests scores and grades define me and I want to cry

Do you know how messed up this is

I had a teacher who didn't prepare us well

I didn't know how to study for it

So much home life crap

So much mental health illnesses that I can't get help

One god awful morning of AP bio test day

And I didn't get a good score on it

I had to deal with so much life stuff that no one else in a million years would ever live through and I had so much trouble staying alive let alone passing my classes

B+ at the end of the year it's fine

But it means nothing

Cause it doesn't count

I have to take the test again or take the course in college

Well guess what?

I was so fucking excited for AP bio I love bio I couldn't wait to learn

And I thought I was gonna have a therapist I thought I'm finally gonna get help it's gonna be okay, hard, but okay

BUT GUESS WHAT

I'M NOT PRIORITY

WHO FUCKING CARES THAT MY MENTAL HEALTH IS IN SHAMBLES

IM DYING EVERYDAY

YET NO ONE GETS IT

LIVE IN MY HEAD ONE DAY AND YOU WOULDN'T SURVIVE

YET I CAN'T SHOW MY TRUE WORTH SO EVERYONE THINKS I'M DUMB WHO WHO CAN'T DO ANY OF THE WORK EVEN THOUGH I'M TRYING BUT I CAN'T I CAN DO IT BUT SOMETHING IS HOLDING ME BACK AND THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO UNDERSTOOD WAS MY LATIN AND HISTORY TEACHER WHO HELPED ME AND GAVE ME ENCOURAGEMENT AND I WAS ABLE TO SHOW MY TRUE WORTH. MY CHEM TEACHER HELPED ME IN OTHER WAYS THAT I'M STILL GOOD ENOUGH HE HELPED ME LEARN THE MEANING OF FUN, HE HELPED ME BE A KID AGAIN. AND I WISHED I JUST ASKED HIM FOR HELP INSTEAD OF BEING SCARED OF EVERYTHING

IF I WAS FUCKING NORMAL I COULD OF GOTTEN GRADES I DESERVED. THAT I'M GOOD ENOUGH

WHY CAN'T I JUST SHOVE IT AWAY LIKE I USE TO. NOTHING HAPPENED TO ME I'M FINE NOTHING HAPPENED SO I SHOULD BE NORMAL I CAN DEAL WITH THAT CRAP WHEN I'M 40

NOTHING HAPPENED TO ME ANYWAY THEY HAD IT WORSE

WHY AM SO SAD, SCARED, ANGRY, ANXIOUS, EXHAUSTED, BURNED OUT NUMB, NOT KNOWING HOW TO INTERACT WITH ANYONE, NOT KNOWING HOW TO CONTROL MY THOUGHTS, NOT KNOWING HOW TO CONTROL MY FACE RIGHT, NOT KNOW HOW TO CONTROL MY EMOTIONS, I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT I'M SO DUMB AND USELESS AND WORTHLESS I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT EVERY DAM DAY I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF

I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE

EVERYONE GETS MAD AT ME

EVERYONE COMPLAINS TO ME

EVERYONE VENTS TO ME

EVERYONE GETS SAD AT ME

I STRESS EVERYONE OUT

I TAKE EVERYONE'S STRESS

AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING

AND EVERYONE SUFFERS

IM AN IDIOT

I'M WORTHLESS

I'M USELESS

I HATE MYSELF

I HATE IT HERE

[freshlybakedfandoms]

i hate this fucking science class

[allywritesforfun]

I also hate men. I would like to hear this story

there’s this one bitch we’re gonna call jared in my ap bio class and he is the most stuck up, privileged rich ass, smart ass, asshole there is. now, we used to be ‘friends’ back in middle school because we went to st. louis together with some other people from school. but let all this popularity and money get to his head.

i’m not very smart, i get confused easily and i ask a lot of obvious questions because i need things dumbed down to answer, and he’s always annoyed with me. like everyday he flexes either his 1) 2022 nisan that his daddy bought him 2) his sophomore gf when he’s a senior 3) some high end college (i think brown or something along those lines) offering to give a tour 4) the amount of scholarship money he has along with his parents money

the thing about him tho, is that he is actually smart, and that’s what i hate the most. so every fucking day he has to say something is basic asshole fashion to me, like it’s so fucking hostile and the thing is, i’m never talking to him. he always feels like he needs to put his two sense into everything i say. so him being so fucking smart and being an asshole about it always gets pissed when i ask a dumb question or i get excited because i finally understand and basic topic.

so today we had this packet and the first question is the definition of polygenic inheritance. i didn’t remember reading ab that because the packet is ab polygenic traits. so i reread the intro paragraph and it only says stuff about polygenic traits, not inheritance. so i ask out loud to my friends next to me “i don’t get this packet, it’s asking us for definitions it didn’t even get us what the hell?”

so jared fucking goes, “it is in the packet if you would actually read it” and oh boy was i fucking pissed. but i kept my composer, and replied “i actually did read it thank you very much” so my teacher, overhearing this comes over and is like “wat” so i ask, “is traits and inheritance the same thing?” and he’s like “no not really” so i’m like “well what’s the def because its not in here” so he looks and is like “oh, this must be a part two of a packet and i scraped the first one, this is the def”

so jared was a fucking asshole to me for asking a completely logical question, which i was right by the way and he was wrong, so he can suck my fucking cock and if says one more thing to me i will go off, and i think my teacher knows it too

[iamkidfish]

Hey I love love how you write fatin, would you write them but with their usual roles reversed? Like instead of Fatin being scared of being in love and having a relationship it's Leah (because all the Jeff stuff) and Fatin is the one who is sure since the island and the one who chases her when they're back on their normal lives.

this was fun to write a post-island fatin who was self-aware and confident within her feelings for leah!!

Read on ao3

Oddly enough, surviving on a deserted island for nearly two months (58 days to be exact and then another 12 days in the bunker but it’s not like Fatin kept track or anything) tends to give a girl a little clarity.

And the craziest thing happens, somewhere between the first day on the island and hating everything about Leah to when the eight of them are finally released from the bunker, Fatin falls completely and irreversibly in love with Leah. Normally, this would freak her out (not that she has feelings for a girl, no Fatin’s known that fact about herself ever since the summer after 8th grade when she wanted to see what Carly Durowoski’s lip gloss tasted like at orchestra camp—it was raspberry), but there’s something simple about it; Leah is easy to love.

The best part of it all? Leah has feelings for her too.

Nothing else has really happened between them since they both agreed the island wasn’t the most romantic place in the world (Fatin supposes, someone forgot to mention that to Shelby and Toni) except once, when they all got high again and Fatin kissed Leah. It felt uneventful and earth-shattering all at once, no doubt a side effect from how buzzed off of the gummies she was. One minute they’re lying together in the armchair (Leah’s basically sitting on top of her and in the back of her mind, the part that’s not addled by THC, reminds her Leah is as affectionate with Fatin, if not a little more, when she’s sober.) talking about how one of the clouds looks like a science teacher they both had freshman year and then Leah turns her head towards Fatin...and the next moment they’re kissing.

If Fatin thinks about the kiss too hard, the way her lips fit so naturally into Leah’s, how she tasted like sun and salt, the feeling of the rough grains of sand on her own cheek, it still makes her go dizzy. And now, sitting in the back of their Bio class, it’s her favorite daydream. When she turned into someone who moons over the color of a girl’s eyes and doodles her name in hearts in the margins of her notebook, Fatin has no idea, but she actually kind of loves it.

Two tables over, Leah is hunched over, writing in her own notebook, and Fatin watches her for a few seconds. Not in a “i-watch-you-when-you-sleep” or “run-a-privatized-and-highly-illegal-experiment-where-all-you-do-is-spy-on-minors” creepy way but in a casual “I’m-so-in-love-with-my-best-friend” way. It’s fine, she’s fine. Fatin is totally not losing her cool in the middle of class. (Except her lab partner has to ask her four times for the answers of the lab they’re doing and it still doesn’t really register in her brain.)

The bell finally rings and the rest of their classmates surge towards the door, but Fatin hangs back, lingering a few feet away from Leah, who hasn’t moved from her spot. Fatin is about to clear her throat or something to get her attention when Leah looks up and smiles at her, a soft smile that Fatin has come to know well.

It’s not that she’s nervous (because Fatin Jadmani doesn’t get nervous) but her heart is racing and her palms are kinda sweaty and she feels all jumpy and weird. It’s just Leah, she tells herself, she’s seen you covered in mud, in blood, starving and dehydrated, chill the fuck out. Still, Fatin bounces on the balls of her feet, trying to get rid of her weird energy while she waits for Leah to be done whatever the fuck she’s done.

Fatin has three minutes and nine seconds to get to her next period (AP Lang, which is in the east wing of campus, the furthest possible location from where Fatin is now) when Leah finally stands, putting her notebook and pen in her bag.

“What’s your next class? I could walk you there, if you want,” Fatin says, feeling like one of those dogs that has, like, prescribed anxiety medication.

Leah looks at her apologetically and there’s a sadness in her eyes that makes Fatin’s stomach drop.

“I know we talked about...stuff in the bunker but Fatin—” Leah fidgets, moves her hand up towards her eyebrow but then thinks better of it— “I don’t know if I can do this. It all feels so new, especially after him, and it doesn’t help that we just returned to civilization like a month ago.”

Fatin’s heart, which started in throat, drops a little lower with each word Leah says.

“Like at all? Or is this like a raincheck situation? Because I can wait, however long you need.”

Horrified, Fatin realizes there are a few tears running down her cheeks. Maybe there are a few stray tears on Leah’s, too.

“Oh my God, no I just need time.”

“I can do that.”

Leah presses a kiss to Fatin’s cheek in the exact spot where a tear has tracked itself down her skin. And then she’s out the door before Fatin can say anything else.

She never thought she was a patient person, but for Leah, Fatin can be anything she needs her to be, for however long.

[90sbokuto]

— “ haikyuu characters as stereotypical u.s. students ”

including: kuroo, hinata, kenma, tanaka, and nishinoya

genre: crack, humor, fluff(fish?)

tags: crack, just jokes, u.s. high school stereotypes

warnings: language

a/n: lmfaooo I've been seeing a lot of people doing this on tik tok and thought it was HILARIOUS 😭 imma give it a shot but be warned some commentary may only apply to california 💀💀

— kuroo tetsuro

-    okay so kuroo gives me very much ap student who gets along with all the teachers, y’know?? he probably has perfect attendance too 👁

-    and not in a cocky “teachers pet” way, but just cause he does his work, sometimes comes to teacher’s office hours, asks how their day went 🧍🏾‍♀️

-     on the downlow though, he HATES having to do some of the work and will definitely slide the answers to you if you had a hard night

-      he IS a pretty boy however, and I could DEFINITELY see him getting sent tons of those little gift baggies for valentines from “secret admirers” 

-       he’s just chill with everyone and comes off as the secretly soft nerd that would have a long term girlfriend similar to him

-       his bio probably looks like this: 17. student-athlete. NHS ‘12 🎓;; can’t really see him using social media except to send kenma memes and post occassionally

-        general conclusion: 4.5/5; kuroo probably would be intimidating if you just transferred but after being in a class or two with him, it'd probably be chill asf, y’all would wave at each other in the hallway and probably have an inside joke or two going on..

— shoyo hinata

-    WHEW,, HINATA

-   he’s giving me very much LINK CREW VIBES DJFNSDFKJ-  

-   sidenote: if you don't know what link crew is, it’s like a peer mentor group where the seniors and juniors mentor incoming freshmen and have them do fun lil activities

-    all of the teachers just find him so sweet, since he’s just like the extroverted golden boy of the grade

-     dear lord his locker... it’d look absolutely fucking atrocious 😭 yachi probably would help him clean it out before winter break,,,

-     he’s literally the perfect target to get adopted by a bunch of seniors,, gets rides home from them, he’s invited to the parties and they’d for SURE bring him snacks when he has game days

-     i simply refuse to believe he’d have a bio,, and if he HAD to though, it’d probably look like this: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) next tiny giant!! 💯

-     general conclusion: 4/5; having him as a linkie or simply as a friend would always be exciting and it’d always feel good to have someone by your side! his morning routine would probably consist of trying to race some of the seniors to the parking lot on his bike 👁👄👁

— kenma kozume

-     ngl, he’d be a link crew leader,, 

-     and before you ask, kuroo forced him to do SOMETHING when volleyball season isn’t going on that isn't gaming club

-      he has that specific teacher that he likes, probably like an elective teacher or that ONE history teacher that everyone migrates towards

-     he’d have a group of friends that play genshin impact with him at lunch,, and I could see some of the freshmen wondering how he got his hair like that

-      NOW I KNOW KUROO GETS LOVE LETTER BUT SO DOES KENMA, STOP SLEEPING ON MY BOY! 😤

-       his normally come from some of the underclassmen, a small handful being some of the freshmen, but he doesn’t know how to respond and neither does he really believe them sometimes?? it just doesn't phase him,,

-        it literally takes this little freshman to come up to him and give him a little baggie of candies for him to be shook to the core 🥺

-        he wouldn’t have a bio,, it would probably just be a link to his discord group

-        general conclusion: 4/5; he’d be cool to be around and be paired up with in groups cause you’d get the work done and you’d probably be invited to play games if he likes being around you! it is hard to get to know him however but he’d smile at you in the hallways!

— tanaka ryunosuke

-       PLEASE HE’S DEF ONE OF THE LOUD BASKETBALL/SOCCER BOYS 😭

-       all of the teachers like him except the sticklers and he’s JUST like kuroo but in a more boisterous way, he’s for sure the kid that gets sent to other teacher’s classrooms to give something to them and he just goes around the WHOLE school on the way 😗

-       he’s the one that takes all of the freshmen in and terrorizes them, him and noya do it every year whenever a freshmen either the basketball/volleyball/soccer team

-        he’s deffo a “where my hug at?” type guy and everyone’s just kinda cool with him!

-        he can give bokuto (you’ll see in pt.2) and noya a run for his money when it comes to prom king, they’re like the universal upperclassmen that everyone know and love 😀

-        his bio FOR SURE looks like this: “310📍ALL EYEZ ON ME 💯” he posts those generic “game day 🥶” posts, sends memes, has a million group chats and 500 unread messages

-          he never gets his little valentine’s day gifts, girls just always come up to tell him straight to his face and ask if he wants to do something that weekend; he always says no, and asks kiyoko though 🥺

-         general conclusion: this may be a bit biased cause it’s either hit or miss for a lot of people with those type of friends but a personal 4.5/5, simply because he would LEAVE you on read but it’d never be on purpose! he’s a blast to be around, especially as teachers get more leinent when you’re a senior;; it’d be sad to see him graduate and leave :(

— nishinoya yu

-          he’s the aesthetic edgy rock kid,, plays drums, the guitar, etc and the choir/music club wants him to play but he refuses 🏃🏽‍♀️💨 

-           him and tanaka became friends from volleyball but originally knew each other cause tanaka got stuck in the band for a period and the music teacher was trying to convince noya to play 👁

-            yes .. they fool around the WHOLE damn time LMSDNJFSADFB-JUST IMAGINE NOYA PLAYING THE PH INTRO DURING CLASS 😭😭😭

-             gets mistaken for a freshman a lot... similar to tanaka and kuroo, all of the teachers seem to like him! 

-              similar to kenma and kuroo, he gets sent tons of love letters but he can never trace them back to the original sender and it’s hilarious cause it always ends up with him having a date for the valentines day dance either way

-              his bio most likely looks like: “rolling thunder ++ 🖤🎸🏐” he’d kinda use social media on whatever basis, like he’ll occasionally post on game days and then sometimes he’s only on tik tok;; it’s really just a tossup

-              solid candidate for getting nominated as prom king! everyone knows him and just enjoys the vibe 

-              general conclusion: 5/5; would’ve made classes worth it just to hang around him! he’d see someone sad in the hallway and attempt to cheer them up instead of just leaving them there and would love to go to parties! he’d for sure be comforting!

[jamaiskookie]

bangtan headcanon: OT7 IN HIGH SCHOOL 📓✂️

☞ genre; fluff, crack

☞ warnings; excessively stupid

masterlist  u wanna talk to highschool!bangtan?

《KIM SEOKJIN》

class clown

always manages to sneak kimbap in class, and stuffs his face despite being in the front row. 

he’s alarmingly good at sneaking food into places. 

cafeteria ladies love jin so much. 

and every christmas he brings in his perfected sugar cookies and never shares them.

(he’s in the cooking club)

((he’s the only one in the cooking club))

will interrupt the teacher to make a bad joke. 

“yes so helium is the fo- oh yes seokjin?“

“i was reading an excellent book about helium, i couldn’t put it down!! ahHAHAHHYUKHYUKAHHAHAHHA“ 

nobody’s?? really sure?? if he’s dating namjoon or not?? it’s the schools biggest mystery, there’s currently a betting pool going on worth about $500

likes to annoy namjoon and yoongi about holding bake sales. 

is surprisingly good at planning parties?? but never hosts them?? hoseok always gets him to plan his parties and he even planned prom!!

he’s particularly proud with the theme he came up with. 

‘zombie meets elegance‘ 

it was actually pretty nicely pulled off (much to the shock of the entire student body) 

《MIN YOONGI》

student council president 

takes his job very!! seriously!! 

fights with the principal on funding daily. 

doesn’t come to school without coffee and resting bitch face.

even the teachers are afraid of this short little emo boy. 

is the only one who actually wears the school uniform properly with the little tie and jacket because that’s how you show school spirit. 

definitely that closeted gay in high school who thinks nobody knows about his homosexuality when in fact, everyone knows.

(nobody has the guts to bring it up to him though)

“hyung why are you staring at jimin’s as-“

 “-NO WHY GET BACK TO WORK” 

actually enjoys doing morning announcements. 

“make sure to check out jin’s dumb bake sale i think he’s selling brownies for some charitable reason anYWAYS time for min’s advice column!!“ 

min’s advice column is yoongi’s free therapy. namjoon suggested adding an advice column to the school paper so now yoongi just judges his classmates’s decisions gives subpar advice. 

“i personally think you have no chance with this girl, but you’re clearly hell bent on asking her out. it’s a dumb choice. good luck.“ 

《JUNG HOSEOK》

fuckboy

throws obnoxious parties at his parent’s huge ass mansion. 

somehow?? is?? the nicest? playboy??? evER??

will respect your girl’s boundaries but also would 300% hit on her when you’re not looking. 

aftercare king wILL cuddle with you and help you clean up or whatever until jimin eventually comes in screaming. 

his school id says “hobi 💦👅” ... noone knows how he managed to do it (taehyung thinks he seduced the secretary) 

surprisingly good at romance even though he deTests dating

“it’s a waste of time, money, and ass.“  “- what?”

gives everyone dating advice whether they want it or nOt- he lives his *shhh very secret* romantic fantasies through his best friends. 

once helped taehyung ask out his girlfriend... they’re still going strong!!

defo has daddy issues that he never talks about,, maybe if a girl finds it sexc™️ in that kind of messed-up-bad-boy-she-could-fix vibe he’ll bring it up

kinda failing science lmao he probably needs a tutor.. but will never admit he needs a tutor for sake of his pride. 

most definitely has had sex in the janitor’s closet a couple times, up until yoongi caught him once, reported him to the school board and got him suspended... for a month. 

(yoongi has no regrets, that was the best month of his life.)

《KIM NAMJOON》

student vice president

honestly would probably be the council president and is the most qualified for it but can’t be bothered.

plus he hates public speaking and the president has to speak at assemblies.  

genuinely enjoys learning!! bUT HATES GROUP PROJECTS

because every single fucking time taehyung and jimin pester him about teaming up and he ends up doing like 75% of the work.

not because anyone forces him to or anything.

it’s because jimin and tae are such dumbasses every time they finish their work namjoon has a sudden uRGE TO REDO ALL OF IT BC THEY GOT IT WRONG.

tries to take all AP subjects.

gives up and drops half of them by the second semester.

great student but also will “no yoongi i don’t want to fucking play basketball i've been awake for thirty hours trying to finish this goddamn essay that’s due tomorrow. wHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY DIDN’T I DO IT EARLIER I WAS BUSY TAKING CARE OF MY BONSAI TREES.“

started the school paper!! it’s called “persona post”

writes about actual relevant things like political events and global problems, but everyone else just writes about school gossip *sigh*

although that one column examining hobi’s sex and dating life was a pretty fun piece of writing to read through. 

he sits in the back of the classroom and never raises his hand even though he knows the answer like 95% of the time.

definitely has a crush on seokjin

《PARK JIMIN》

the one everyone has a crush on

and when i say everyone i mean everyone, even hoseok has had a crisis over park jimin. 

(jungkook is definitely president of his fan club) ((in case it wasn’t clear, he’s dating jungkook))

school’s golden boy, basically gets away with everything with a bat of an eye... and the most infuriating thing is he doesn’t even realise it. 

“omg jimin!! you’re so cute!! this shirt looks sO good on you, can i touCH?” “omg thank you i didn’t think it fit well because it’s my boyfriends but that’s so sweet!!” “boy... hm?”

mom friend: sweetest bitch alive and is always worrying about his friends but everyone knows he’s secretly really fucking kinky.

(again, jungkook has no comment)

the kind of person who celebrates christmas in june. 

literally- he starts putting decorations in his locker and around the school mid june. by november, he’s wearing reindeer ears to school.

*lowkey kind of a nerd* genuinely enjoys studying with namjoon.

“well, studying with anybody else is just too stressful!! plus, namjoon’s so chill. he doesn’t look like it but he actually is super sweet and nice!!!“

“... please take those reindeer ears off, it’s embarrassing.“ 

half of the school would probably cut off an arm to sleep with him. seriously, he gets offers like everYDAY it’s kinda getting tiRING

is considering starting a youtube channel where he just takes videos of all the dogs and babies he meets throughout the day. 

“idk i think vlogging would be fun“

《KIM TAEHYUNG》

art hoe

nEVER FUCKING STUDIES OR PAYS ATTENTION BUT GETS DECENT GRADES.

the definition of bisexual mess, WILL trip when he sees hot people.

exclusively wears wired gold glasses and soft neutral sweaters to school. if it’s a good day he’ll wear a beanie. on special occasions he’ll maybe throw in some fUN loafers.

dyes his hair to match ~the vibes~ of that season. the most recent wild hair colour is cool toned teal. 

jungkook said he looks like leprechaun shit, but tae really likes it. 

tried to go vegan countless times, failed each and every one when he passed by a mc donalds. 

carries his sketchbook wherever he goes. he has that thing around 24/7, 100% would not be surprised if he slept with it under his pillow.

really quiet until he has a point to make;; like that time where he launched into a three hour screaming lecture on how phineas and ferb is an animated masterpiece.

drinks tea purely for the aesthetic of it. 

goes to hipster coffee shops to pretend to study... ends up watching barbie movies and critiquing them on the writing blog that he thinks nobody knows about. 

watches anime in class (he recently rewatched all of ATLA for the third time,, failed his econ class but worth it!!1!!1)

《JEON JUNGKOOK》

preppy jock

once again, everyone is attracted to him, but he’s so whipped for jimin everyone’s crush fades away once they talk to him because-

“oh it’s so cool that you have a dog!! you know, i think jimin kind of looks like a pomeranian sometimes it’s sO CUTE- hm? oh jimin’s my boyfriend.“

... it’s disgustingly adorable. 

plays almost every sport and is somehow always the team captain. not out of obligation or with leadership skills or anything, everyone else just votes for him. 

mess with his friends and he’ll put a stink bomb in your locker. 

his nickname is “golden baby” because he’s good at everything, teachers love him so much. 

grades? sTELLAR. sports? he’s done them ALL. creativity? pAINTED THE SCHOOL MURAL. service? volunteers at a pet shelter whenever he can (the bunnies love him for some reason) 

everyone either is 

a) in love w him, wants to fuck

b) jealous of him but is also secretly gay for him

pretends to not know how talented and cool he is and plays it off super cool

proceeds to fail, the only thing he’s bad at is humble bragging. 

“wow omg lol i got a 100 on my bio test and yesterday i got a hole in one in golf, my first time playing it but it’s chill i guess hahhah day in my life amirite.“

**this headcanon is the start of the bangtan school series, stay tuned**

wanna be tagged in school series or my writing? here or send me an ask

[madtomedgar]

so i saw a “underfunded public high school teachers” au, and, as someone who went to a (rural) underfunded public highschool, I don’t want to hijack the post, but i think i can do it better

The Math Department

- Jin Guangyao: teaches applied math, precalc, calc, AP calc, and the obligatory algebra class. He HATES his freshmen, HATES his applied math students, and lives solely for his AP students. Absolutely fucking terrifying. Somehow wound up in charge of the bus garage. He hates it. It is giving him ulcers. How did this happen! But if he doesn’t do it, the kids will just go... wherever, so it’s not like he can not!

- Lan Wangji: teaches algebra and geometry. Also teaches Latin. Why does this school offer Latin? Who knows. He has like 7 Latin students every year and it’s like 3 Catholics, 2 goths, one kid who is Really into Assassins Creed, and one weirdo who thinks they’re going to law school. Also absolutely fucking terrifying, but differently. Has never attended a single pep rally and will not let you out of class to go to them. Runs the after-school homework help.

Lan Qiren: Grumpy math teacher. Absolutely fucking terrifying and constantly 3 years away from retirement. He taught your parents and remembers their bullshit, so don’t try anything.

The English Department:

- Yanli: 10th grade English and yearbook, runs the school paper. All the straight boys have a crush on her.

- Xiao Xingchen: freshmen and juniors, also teaches French. Has something of a dead poets society vibe, but like. A chill one. FFA sponsor.

- Wen Ning: freshmen and seniors, also teaches French. Patron saint of the gay students.

The Science Department

- Wei Wuxian: Chemistry and Physics. Has set the school on fire five times and himself on fire once. A legend in his own right. Runs the GSA, since most schools can have those now. Once declared “wafting is for weenies” and then sniffed concentrated hydrochloric acid. His students make those “x didn’t wear her saftey goggles and now she doesn’t have to” memes about him. 

- Wen Qing: Bio, anat phys, and that class that’s for kids who are basically going straight into the community college nursing program. Runs envirothon, but isn’t hardcore about it. Absolutely fucking terrifying, but extremely fair. Every baby dyke that goes through has a big crush on her. Coaches girl’s track and field and soccer

- Wen Ruohan: Teaching to the test, hates you, does not fucking care about you, will absolutely send you to detention for rolling your eyes, makes students cry on the regular. Has never written a college recommendation so do not ask him.

The Social Studies Department

- Jiang Cheng: World history, APUSH, US history. Teaches to the test or goes on incoherent yelling rants. Has almost been fired for throwing erasers at students and “teaching” conspiracy theories about the moon landing and the kennedy assassination. Coaches basketball and cross country and has a HUGE inferiority complex about how his teams ALWAYS go to state but he NEVER gets any credit unlike the DEADBEAT football team that SUCKS. His athletes always have good grades because if they don’t, he frog-marches them into Lan Wangji’s homework help, cusses them out, and tells Lan Wangji not to let them leave until they have Bs. Insane, but the kids would die for him.

- Lan Xichen: Teaches civics, the one (1) philosophy/poli-sci elective, and is the band director. He’s great, but he’s infamous for giving you a pass if you can convincingly argue unique bullshit well enough, or have a bad enough sob story. Consequently, a lot of Lost Souls wind up in band, and he doubles as the unofficial guidance counselor. 

- Wen Chao, who also (somehow??) teaches trig. He is here to coach football. He gives the kids worksheets and plays internet poker all day. Lan Wangji is his nemesis because he will not let kids go play football if they are failing, and he will not manufacture passing grades for football players. The football team is terrible and they never win anything, but he still acts like they own the school.

The Rest

Jin Zixuan: Teaches computers. Coaches baseball. 

Nie Mingjue: gym and rotc. Coaches wrestling and volleyball. Teaches “health” which means he’s also in charge of sex ed. This is very unfortunate for everyone. The students call him “stache” but only behind his back.

Qin Su: Guidance counselor. Very sweet, but not very helpful. Also teaches driver’s ed.

Jin Zixun: The principle. Incompetent, Full of himself. Hates competent people who work under him. The closest thing this cast has to a good ol boy who got this job through pure nepotism and who everyone wants to kill

Madam Jin: office secretary. really good at giving Judgemental Looks to every kid who gets sent to the office.

Jiang Fengmian: Vice principle. Also completely ineffective, but in a different direction to Jin Zixun. They make a terrible team! This school is going to hell in a handbasket! Once confiscated a knife from a kid who brought it to school to threaten another kid for sexually harrassing a girl, and told him “now, son, i understand what you were trying to do. you were trying to defend that young lady’s honor, and that was very noble, but we have got to find a way for you to deal with these situations that does not involve violence”

Nie Huaisang: Art teacher. Every year he thinks his funding is going to get cut. Most of the students in his class are goths or stoners or both. He may or may not be selling weed.

Yu Ziyuan: teaches Spanish and is the cheerleading coah and girl’s basketball. Mean. Strict. Knows all your parents’ drama, takes it personally, and hates you. Actually writes “F for Fries with That” on papers. Has almost been fired for kicking a student.

Song Lan: shop

[navyhyuck]

do you mind if i ask you about your stats like act gpa and classes you’ve taken since freshman year (ik you haven’t gotten into college but i noticed that you said you’re doing ap testing so i assumed you’re a junior) but only if you’re comfy!!! thanks and good luck 😊😊😊

hi love, i’d be glad to hehe (and yes i am a junior! but fair warning that my stats are simply that, mine, so please do not compare yourself to me or anyone else for that matter! not saying my stats are stellar LOL but moving on):

1410 sat with essay (730 rw and 680 math and a 16/24 on the essay which is now no longer part of the exam so), i didn’t take the act! my gpa rn is 3.8 unweighted (4.0 weighted) and okay,

freshman yr: honors history (B+ yikes i thought it was an A), honors english (i think a B+ my teacher hated me), and honors biology (a B but barely it was a traumatic time), geometry cp/academic (A+), french 1 cp/academic (A+), accounting 1 (A+) + two required electives that i got As in

sophomore yr: honors english (A+), honors chemistry (B+ yikes i also thought this was an A), and apush year 1 (B+ absolutely a nightmare i hate this class), precalculus cp/academic (A plus i took algebra II the summer before soph year to bump up a level), french 2 cp/academic (A+), a&p + med. phys. (these were two semester classes but got As in both) + two random semester electives that were so useless (i took fucking culinary and learned about eggs pls don’t be like me)

junior yr: honors english (A), honors genetics (A, this is a supplemental class to ap bio at my school so idk if it’s offered everywhere), ap biology (B+, we don’t talk about this either), ap macroeconomics (A+), ap us history (A, my school does two years), calculus cp/academic (A), french 3 cp/academic (A)

senior yr (prospective classes but we’ll see): ap physics 1, ap literature and language, ap calculus ab, french 4 cp/academic, + two semester electives + a required elective i didn’t fucking fulfill in sophomore year for the reason that i’m a dumb bitch and took culinary arts instead wtf

tbh grades aren’t everything. there’s always extracurriculars and volunteer work and your essay and letters of rec so!! just try your best in class bc at the end of the day, you will be going to college (and it doesn’t matter if it’s not harvard ok)!! :)

[haikyuuscreaming]

omg hi! you started off your blog greatly, im so proud of you! do you think you can write an angsty scenario for akaashi? where his crush likes this guy and wants help from him and he feels all sad :( but she ends up confessing to him! i love your writing so far, keep it up!

UMM so i accidentally got really invested in this so it’s WAYY longer than a drabble and i often write long stuff bc of ao3 so this might sound a little more like that kinda fanfic style instead of a tumblr scenario? mainly cos im really a sucker for this stuff hehehe love you anon

also ! the request made it sound sort of akaashi-centric so i hope you dont mind? there will still be a lot of reader-chan here though! please dont leave yet and i hope u enjoy

again ALSO i wrote this half on my laptop half on my phone so please dont mind if it seems a lil clunky in some areas 

3092 words jesus ok here you go

-

Crushes weren’t necessarily a new sensation for Akaashi. Just an uncommon one. In fact, the last time he remembers even being attracted to someone was in first grade when everyone had a crush on this popular girl. He’s not even sure if he really liked her, or just found the idea of it interesting.

Now, second year of high school, Akaashi finds himself in trouble. Because for once, he really, really, really likes this girl. You. 

He can’t even fake himself out of this, because every damn time he looks at you, he feels all warm and tingly and his stomach feels less calm and he can hear his heart bump against his ribcage and god, his face even flushes a little bit.

(A little bit inconvenient when he accidentally finds himself staring at you and daydreaming.)

Akaashi doesn’t like this feeling.

I mean, yeah, Akaashi has somewhat of a sense of confidence in his looks, manners, and ability to make friends. He’s not exactly the top in each subject he thinks, but it lets him pass through high school without too much of a depressingly lonely life. He could easily befriend you and steal your heart, his inner ego-brat says.

But.. but what if you reject him?

He should become closer to you.

(For the record, he doesn’t not like the feeling. He kind of likes the serotonin boost you give him. But he definitely, more than kind of likes you.

A lot more.)

And one day, in the spring, he finds himself paired up with a special biology partner. With familiar, sparkling eyes and the cutest, most gorgeous voice he’s ever heard that always makes his heart fucking backflip.

Akaashi doesn’t think he can survive this.

His teacher blares, “Start brainstorming ideas for your science fair project! It’s due in a month, you know!”, but Akaashi blocks out the noise because all he can focus on is you, goddamn it. He can only focus on the way you push your hair out of your face, the way your lips upturn into the most stunning smile he’s ever had the fate of encountering, and he really hopes he doesn’t get h-

“Akaashi-kun?”

(Fuck you and your completely gorgeous voice that drives him up the wall and makes him want to kiss you.)

“Oh– sorry, yeah?” He kind of hates himself for how his voice lilted a pitch higher.

You laugh, sounding like a goddess. He hopes that it means you don’t hate him. “Ahaha, I was just wondering if you have any ideas for the science fair? It’s a pretty big chunk of our grade, and I am… not the smartest when it comes to AP Bio..”

Akaashi thinks quite the opposite, but he isn’t currently in the position to contradict you.

“Um…” He pauses and thinks furiously. He comes up with some borderline generic idea that has enough room for a unique twist. And your eyes brighten.

“Waaaoo, Akaashi-kun’s a genius, hm?”

(God, he thinks he might have a little more than a crush on that teasing grin and glittering pair of eyes.)

He musters the courage to smile without looking stupid. “Of course.”

Two weeks later, he wants to sink into a hole.

Yes, it might have been his request that you two meet up to work on the project, but that was because he knew you were a procrastinator! You would start the project the night before if he’d let you!

But it was not his idea to do it at his house.

Now he has to live with the fact that you’re lying on HIS bed, spread-eagled in your sweater and shorts, complaining about how lazy you are.

(He wonders how you’re so comfortable about wearing shorts to a male classmate’s house. You two aren’t even that close, although you claim otherwise.)

“Come on, get up,” he rolls his eyes. “We have work to do.”

“But I’m so tiiiiiredddd… and lazyyyy…. wouldn’t it be such a gentlemanly act of Akaashi-kun to do the project for me?” You flash him a sweet smile while stretching out even more on the bed.

Snorting, he watches you sink into his mattress and roll around idly. “Hey, don’t you need the grade? You can’t pass if you make me do your work.”

Sighing, you hum in defeated content. “Well, it was worth a try.” You reach out your hand and tousle his wavy hair, and he almost flinches at the touch. He hates to say it but he loves it so much that you’re so affection with him, and Akaashi knows he would give anything to keep you teasing him with all this attention.

“Yeah.. yeah, it was,” he murmurs to himself before letting himself sit down next to you. He notices how you scrunch your body from a spread-eagle to a cute, curled up position to make room for him.

“Mm, so how are we gonna do this?” you ask, with a subtle mixture of bored and curious seeping into your tone. Then, he watches your features melt into a warm, mischievous smile as you hum, “Unless you just wanna nap and cuddle or something.”

(Holy fuck.)

Akaashi forces himself to scowl playfully and he shakes his head, sighing loudly in mock disappointment. “I don’t know what to do with you.” And equally as teasing, he adds, “I should just kick you out and not treat you to lunch if you’re going to be like this.”

“Noooooo!!!” you whine in this adorably frustrated and threatening voice. “Don’t you dare starve me or I’m feeding you to the rats.”

He chuckles. “See, that’s what I thought.”

But of course, your face wraps into a devilish grin as you say in a singsong voice and throw your arms around him (which makes him flush and makes his heart go WABAM), “It doesn’t matter though, ‘cause I got this whole-ass meal right here~”

“Shut up.”

(But you both know he never means it.)

Thanks to Akaashi (and your obliging albeit lazy participation), you two blow the science fair out of the way and get an A. He’s never seen you so delighted about a grade.

“I’m so happy~” you never shut up about how grateful you are for him, not that he’s complaining. “This is probably the highest mark I’ve ever gotten in this class.”

“Don’t over exaggerate. You’re not too bad at Bio,” Akaashi remarks. “You just need a tutor, probably, if you’re struggling.”

(By the way, he is ecstatic that you two are ACTUALLY FRIENDS!!! He’s even met your dog!!)

“Hmmmm…” You eye him warily before shrugging. “Whatever you say, Akaashi-kun.” Your eyes flit around before returning on him, and you start rambling about the newest anime you’ve gotten into and how it’s practically on-par with the manga, and how hot one of their characters are-

(For some reason Akaashi really zeroes in on that part.)

He really feels like he has to contribute something to the conversation, so he puts in, “Wow, [Name]-san, you’re such a fangirl.”

You snort loudly and put two peace-signs to your face like some kawaii anime girl, doing this mock-sweet smile. “Waaaooo, you’re rightttt. I’m Akaashi-kun’s number one fan!! He’s so cute when he’s yelling at me to do my work and super hot when he helps me with homew-”

He swears to god his face is radiating an inhuman amount of heat and he rolls his eyes before shaking his head and jabbing your side lightly. “Didn’t I tell you not to say that?”

“Ummm, maybe.” Your ‘innocent’ grin tells him otherwise. “But you know, you’re right, Akaashi-kun,” you cross your arms and give your cute little smirk again. “I am a genius, and I’m suuuper good at Bio. I just need someone to channel it.” And you lean forward until both your noses are touching, and Akaashi thinks he’s about to explode. “So maybe you could help me out?”

The subtle pleading undercurrent in your voice compels Akaashi to straighten up a little bit without flushing even redder. Keep cool, keep cool.

(He prays that his skill of keeping a poker face will hide the blood rushing around in his dick.)

“Well, what time?”

This time around, he finds himself at your house instead. You both are sitting at your desk, ‘working’ on your math and Bio homework. In other words, just talking.

He’s confident now in that the two of you are close friends. He’s learned that from afar, you were a sweet and confident yet perfectly kind girl. That was the girl he based his feelings off of. During your Bio project, he found the cheeky, sly and vibrant yet chill girl who always teased him but was still nonetheless sweet.

And now, under that facade, you were an anxious mess with a shit-ton of insecurities.

(He thinks it’s funny how you boast that you’re just like Shrek. You have layers.)

Akaashi glances at you, groaning with your head down onto the table. “I hate math..” he hears you grumble.

“Hey, you’re not too bad. You just have to be careful when plugging in your equations,” he counters.

“But what if I can’t remember my equations??”

“We both know you’re fine at remembering them.”

“I’m gonna fail.”

“Have faith in yourself, because I do.” And Akaashi is being completely honest. His confidence in you being just fine and being able to pass all your classes is strong because he’s seen you work (after procrastinating). “You just have to work on not putting things off until the last minute.”

You make a frustrated noise before resting your chin on your propped hand. “Sometimes I feel like I’m just.. destined to be set back, y’know? Like, everything I do is gonna somehow backfire on me.”

He knows the feeling, especially late at night in bed, stressing over what tomorrow might bring him.

“And like… I have this whole thing set up for me. When people know me as a classmate, I’m an average student, right? Then when we’re like… ‘friends’, I’m all weird and tease-y.” You let out a loud sigh. “And to the unlucky people who get to this stage, I’m a mess.”

“Stop.” Akaashi’s surprised at how firm he is. “I’m grateful to have met you and to have become your friend, [Name]. You’re going to be fine, you need to trust yourself more. Because I trust you more than anything.”

(Yes, he is on first-name basis with you!! Yes, he trusts you even more than he might even trust Bokuto!!)

Your lips twitch into a small smile, one that he’s grown to love and adore. He’s confident that he’s so fucking deep in love and he doesn’t know how to move on. “You really think so?”

“Of course I do.” He flicks some crumpled-up post-it at you. “Since we’re not doing any homework anytime soon, what else do you want to talk about?”

Your gaze becomes a little more shy and nervous. “Umm… Weeell, I need help.”

“I mean, why else would I be here?”

“No, seriously, Keiji-kun. Seriously!!” You throw mock-fit, despite obviously looking anxious.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m listening. Sorry.”

“Uh. Um, so…” You blink and pretend to look focused on doodling on the corner of your math paper. “There’s this dude I like. Like, I reaaally like him, which is surprising even for me.” You laugh a little bit, and as Akaashi feels his heart start to tear in half, he forces out a chuckle to match. “He’s suuuper pretty– I think that’s the word for it? Pretty. And he’s kinda funny in his own way, and he’s really sweet and listens to me all the time even when I don’t deserve his time. And I dunno, I think he might like me back? Also, I really really really like him. But I don’t really know how to confess…

“Because you know, I’m kinda wack like that, haha. I’ll probably screw up the confession and make things worse, and, well, I need help.” You finish your ramble with a loud breath and you collapse your head onto the table, groaning.

“Uh–” Fuck, oh fuck him, fuck his life. “I mean… I think just a heartfelt confession would do? Something simple and sweet that says you really like him, in case somehow your words don’t work.” Akaashi feels like he’s sweating, a lot, and he feels even more frustrated than ever. His heart is crashing against his ribcage, and his mind is a fucking mess.

You frown a little bit, and suddenly a gush of words fly out of your mouth like a stream bursting from a dam. “Oh my god, what if I’m reading the signs all wrong and he doesn’t at all like me back? I mean, I wouldn’t blame him because I’m kinda ugly and have this weird personality thing going on and I’m shit at math and Bio-”

“Stop.” Akaashi forces himself to intervene, mainly because 1) you’re literally the light of his life and 2) he feels like he has to leave really soon after dealing with the news. “Shut up, [Name]. You aren’t ugly at all, and I, for one, enjoy your weird personality. And I already told you, you’re fine with academics.” He makes himself make eye contact with you, peering up from your arm covering your face, and says, “If he rejects you, he isn’t worth your time at all and you should move on.”

(Preferably with me.)

He watches you exhale, like he just unwound a tight spring from inside of you, and your shoulders relax and you melt from your anxious state, just a little bit. “You’re right. If.. if he doesn’t feel the same, I’ll just forget about him.”

“Because you’re a genius.” Akaashi tries to hype you up, but he still feels like crumbling. Falsely checking his phone, he stretches and stands up. “I have to go now, sorry. My mom asked me to pick up my little sister from tutoring.”

“Huh, already?” Confusion flits across your face, and it hurts him even more to just leave you after you confided in him, but he knows he has to leave before he says something he might regret. “Oh, okaayy.. see you tomorrow then. Thanks for helping me out.” You yawn before standing up to hug him goodbye.

“No problem.” He says it casually, but Akaashi feels his mood drop faster and lower than ever. He hugs you back, but he breaks away fast.

After leaving your house and collapsing onto his bed in his locked bedroom (with his 11-year-old sister knocking on the door and curiously asking what’s wrong), he can’t help but feel hurt that you couldn’t even tell him who your mystery crush’s name was.

A week passes by, and neither of you mention the conversation at your house. It doesn’t matter either way, since you two are still so casually best friends. At the same time, he desperately wants to push the matter just to find out who it is.

Otherwise, Akaashi has noticeably been more quiet and moody to the point that he doesn’t know how to control it. Sure, he keeps up the same as he would before your conversation, but he can’t help but feel his heart sink everytime he sees you. His mind is ecstatic every time he talks to you, while simultaneously wanting to tear itself apart.

He’s tried getting rid of feelings for you, in literally every way possible. From avoiding thinking about you (which backfired horribly because he ended up thinking more about you) to focusing on other girls (ew, none of them were even capable of creating the same effect on him as you do), he’s tried it all and it’s all failed.

Akaashi realizes his silent slump has gotten so bad to the point that Bokuto made him sit out a few practice matches in the gym just because Akaashi was nowhere near the spot that any of the team expected him to be at.

After school, he meets with you near the vending machine as always. You buy two cans of coffee, one for you and one for him.

As soon as he takes the can gratefully, you clear your throat.

“Yeah, [Name]?”

Glancing around before staring him in the eye, you start, “Keiji-kun, before you run away, I just…. I just wanted to let you know I really really really like you. Like, a lot.” You start speaking kind of fast, so Akaashi can’t process what you’re saying.

“And I mean it. Ever since the Bio project, you’ve been so nice to me and you’ve been such a great friend even though I made it hard sometimes, and along the way I just caught feelings. You honestly mean everything to me, and I appreciate you so much for everything we’ve been through. I- I think, I love you, Keiji. And I hope you accept my feelings.” You smile, almost nervously but nonetheless sincere, and Akaashi thinks he’s about to explode.

“I- I,” Fuck, oh my fucking god, he thinks to himself. He’s shaking a little bit– that’s how happy he is. “[Name], I..” God fucking damn it, he can’t even express how happy he is. He feels his cheeks blossom and he feels his lips quirk into this goofy smile.

But then he watches you shy away a little bit as you hurriedly say, “I- I mean, sorry. It’s okay if you just wanna be friends-”

“No.” Finally, Akaashi can use his mouth and then he gently takes your cheeks in his hands and closes the gap between you two, lips connecting in a display of pining and affection.

He practically melts into the kiss, he’s never been so happy. He thinks he’s actually about to implode; he’s been dreaming about kissing you like this, against your soft, plush lips. And finally he’s able to call you his, to call you the one. When the two of you finally break away for air, he’s breathing hard and his mind is a mess, which is rare considering his usual stoic state.

Akaashi has also never seen you so flustered and blushy. He murmurs into your ear as he takes your hand, “Feelings are 100% reciprocated.”

“I can tell,” you laugh breathily, and he’s so happy to hear that some of your anxiety has dissolved in that sweet kiss. He’s absolutely infatuated with you in every aspect. He leans in for a soft, quicker kiss on the lips and savors the feeling of warmth he gets. “Dork.”, he whispers.

“Only for you.”

[dorkylittleweirdo]

crazy shit that happened during high school

freshman year:

my favorite teacher (pe coach) ended up being a pedophile. it’s kinda scary to think about bc like,, that was my favorite teacher and i trusted him and if he tried anything with me i don’t think i would’ve stopped him and just yikes. but yeah, it was a whole thing. once the school found out they got the police involved and he fled the state. they got him in the end but i mean,, i spent a lot of time in the secretary’s office crying about it bc i really trusted that dude and i was distraught over it. that might’ve been where my trust issues started??? fun stuff

my school shut down. like i mean,, bc it was a charter school and we had to get the charter renewed. but the board at my school wasn’t using their money the way they were supposed to. it was a whole thing, like the principal left that school year bc he knew what was happening, couldn’t stop them from doing it, and didn’t want to be part of it. so they had a lot of meetings that us kids were allowed to go to so we could see what was happening and all that. i only went to one and it was A Time bc the lady who was recording everything passed tf out and of course nobody was a doctor and my pipsqueak thirteen year old ass went “i know what to do” bc i Did so i had to help her which was a trip in and of itself. but anyways, the school’s charter got denied, and everyone had to transfer, but the district promised that we could go to any school we wanted, not just the one we would have to go to by zip code

sophomore year:

i ended up going to a private christian school. big fucking mistake. absolute disaster. nothing really happened that was crazy by their standards, but it was for me

so they have a house system. think of harry potter, it’s EXACTLY like that. we have points, we have competitions, we have all that extra stuff. it was such a time, like i don’t,, i don’t even know how to explain how fucking weird that shit was

i came out in the middle of class. the principal’s daughter was our sub and she goes “okay so everyone is gonna tell us something that nobody knows about them” so when it was my turn i go “so it’s not a secret and y’all should know this but clearly y’all don’t: i’m not straight”. silence. dead silence. we could hear the class next to us it was so quiet. some girl whispers “i knew it”. another girl leans over and whispers to my friend “i’m so sorry”. principal’s daughter gives me the most threatening, condescending smile i’ve ever seen and goes “thanks for sharing”. i had to come out to my mom that same day bc i told me friends and they panicked on my behalf bc when people found out that they were gay, the principal told their parents. and i was Not about to be outed by the principal. my mom has since told me that the principal never contacted her about it so i came out for nothing but i mean i really like being out so we’re good

so instead of prom, cult school has this thing called “the ball”. sophomores, juniors, and seniors are allowed to go bc there’s less than fifty people per grade so if sophomores don’t come, there’s not enough people. so i went bc my friends were all going and i was like “yeah why not might as well”. three dance lessons. three fucking dance lessons for this stupid ball that i didn’t dance once at. i literally had three panic attacks in the span of an hour at the second one, and then i had swim practice right after. fucking exhausted. felt like i ran five marathons by the time i got home. the last lesson i didn’t do any dancing, just vibed with my friend in the corner. so at the actual ball, same friend and i vibed at the tables the whole time. we went to the bathroom for like an hour and took mirror selfies and tried to make our asses look bigger bc we’re Like That

SO AFTER THE BALL, there was apparently a massive party and there was alcohol and stuff. so my friends and i were blissfully unaware bc nobody liked us bc who tf likes the school sinners. so we walked to get ice cream after in our fucking ballgowns and suits looking like All That. so the principal thought that it was one of us who hosted the party and we were like “??? what party?”. literally almost got in trouble bc the principal thought we were LYING. i told my mom and she takes No Shit, so when the principal called her demanding to know if i went to/hosted the party, she marched her ass down to the school and was like “i know y’all have something against mexicans and people who are different from y’all, but that’s no reason to blame my daughter for something that your so called “perfect” students did”. my mom got Heated, roasted the fuck out of the principal, then LEFT. principal never fucked with my mom after that

so there was a fire like across the street from the school. the fd told us to evacuate, but noooooo the school was like “god will protect us” i’m like “okay but i’m gay and apparently your god hates that so i think we’re gonna Perish”. the fucking POWER went out and they STILL wouldn’t let us go. my mom called to sign me out so i could go wherever the fuck i wanted in the school until my friend’s dad came to pick us up bc she couldn’t get there bc of the fire. so i vibed next door to my friends’ class and i was like “heeeeey god’s trying to kill the gays” and we laughed about that until my gay ass got saved lmaoooo

okay so this is the funniest memory i have. in chemistry once, our teacher took us outside and started digging a lil hole next to the school. and keep in mind, my chem teacher used to be a hardcore atheist druggie, like fucking meth and coke and shit. took a theology course and converted. so he’s really sweet and nice but he’s also Slightly mad scientist vibes. so anyways, he puts something in this little hole, lights it on fire. i forgot why he did it, but i was standing back with him and one of the exchange students and the three of us watch in Horror as the rest of the class makes a circle around the fire and start doing some weird dance and saying something. it wasn’t like a chant, idk what to call it, but they were like counting like “and one, and two, and three, and four” and then the dance would get more intense and they’d get louder. so eventually they were screaming and going apeshit and i looked at my teacher and he’s just,, watching them do this. i’m like “and i’m satan, huh?”. like these kids really trying to summon the devil but i’m the bad one bc i like girls

junior year:

so technically this was during the summer but i’m putting it here. they have like a house party after the school year ends. i made cookies. apparently they “looked weird” so nobody ate them, two of my soon to be teachers kept insulting them. i called my mom to pick me up, took my cookies with me, got back in the car in tears. had to have a whole conversation with the principal and those two teachers so they could apologize bc i wanted to leave the school after that. dw tho, i took my cookies to the guards at my summer camp and they appreciated the hell out of them bc they were Very Good Cookies

so my ap bio teacher was an enabler. i was his favorite bc i wasn’t a religious nut and it was very obvious that i believed in science and not whatever the hell this cult was doing with their creationist bs. also he was a parasitologist and i’m super into parasitology so he had fun talking about it to someone who both understood and was extremely interested in the topic. i rolled up to class one day like “hey so i’m gonna buy hissing cockroaches from amazon, if my parents find out and don’t let me keep them do you want them??” and he’s like “yeah”. i brought them to class a few times and everyone Hated it but my teacher was like ayyyyy. and everyone thought he was either and atheist or agnostic, so when some girl asked how he thought mary conceived jesus to see what he said, he looked at me like “y’all hear somethin/hel p” and i go “parthenogenesis” and he Went With It, talking about how it was theoretically possible in humans but we ignored the fact that the baby would’ve been a girl bc the class is dumb none of them have ever heard of parthenogenesis before jesus is the true trans icon we all need

my art teacher was my favorite and she knows that i’m gay. she’s the only teacher from my school that i’m still in contact with. so every big project we did, i made it gay. and i knew, and my friends knew, and she knew, but the rest of the class had no idea. i’m like presenting my project and the class would get sus and they’re like “so are those two really good friends” and i’m like “so she has a rainbow heart on her choker and she has a lesbian symbol on her shirt”. the class was still confused and my friend yells “they’re LESBIANS”. it was iconic

my brit lit teacher was bi. she never said it, but i know she was. always talked about how much she hated men, then was like “women are very very good”. no way this woman was straight. so we read dracula and it’s got that Subtext, so one time i leaned over to my friend bc he sat next to me and i go “the Homoerotic Subtext”. and i didn’t realize that the teacher was right in front of me until she tapped my desk and goes “it gets better”, told me a page number that i flipped to, and it was Even More Gay and i was like 😏. also she assigned me a gay poet for my poetry project and i talked about that for my whole presentation in front of the class and it was the biggest paragraph in my essay and i got 100% on it even tho i choked at the beginning. also i mentioned in passing that i liked sappho and she goes “ooh i love sappho” i’m like “ma’am please leave this cult and get you a gf”

senior year:

i left the cult finally. went to the one school i actually liked. i made friends who actually like me and they were patient and they were amazing and i love them all very much even if i’ll never tell them. my classmates were great, v friendly, i had a great time. however,

so many fires. school got cancelled like five times bc of how bad the fires were

the school shooting. i don’t think i need to go further into that, it’s pretty self explanatory

covid. again, don’t need to go further into that, v self explanatory

[darkblueboxs]

Holding On and Letting Go

Read here or on AO3

Andrew keeps missing his classes. Aaron shouldn't care, but watching his brother hit self-destruct on his own life turns out to be more difficult than expected.

Apparently, Andrew's protective streak runs in the family.

*

Andrew hasn’t left his room in two days, not that Tilda has noticed. Aaron’s homeroom teacher had flicked her eyes over the empty seat behind Aaron which he normally occupied, but Andrew’s absence had otherwise gone unremarked upon. The rougher kids still parted before Aaron in the corridors, either because they had mistaken him for his twin or because they knew what Andrew would do to them if Aaron came home with a black eye and their name on his lips.

On the third day, Aaron hovers outside the door to Andrew’s room, counting the minutes until the school bus is supposed to pass by. They’re meant to be doing a joint presentation on photosynthesis in their shared bio class, although “joint” is stretching it. The plan is for Aaron to talk while Andrew stands at the projector and, hopefully, switches the slides when Aaron prompts him. It’s a class Aaron usually enjoys, and Miss Woods is usually nice to him, but she had paired him with Andrew for the project in a misguided attempt to help them bond. Hopefully she will give up on the idea when she sees Andrew slouching over the projector while Aaron does all the work.

As much as his brother’s presence is unnecessary to the presentation, Aaron doesn’t want to do it alone, and the participation grade is all that stands between Andrew and another flunked class.

He knocks on the door. Predictably, there is no answer.

Aaron remembers, suddenly, vividly, the day that he pushed the door to his mother’s room open to find her passed out in a pool of her own vomit.

He swallows back the memory like bile, forces down the twitch of his fingers for something more, something strong enough to make the memories leave him alone.

He knows his brother keeps an iron grip on himself, perhaps stronger even than the grip he keeps on Aaron. Andrew is self-destructive in ways that Aaron will never understand, but they have a deal that Andrew won’t break no matter how much Aaron might wish he would by something so mundane as suicide. Nonetheless, the image of Andrew lying dead and forgotten on the other side of the door is a little too vivid for Aaron’s stomach, so he tentatively pushes the door open. Just to make sure.

The room is dark, the air stale. Unless Andrew has a stash of food in his room like Aaron has, he hasn’t eaten in some time. There’s a pile of covers on the bed and the outline of a body beneath them that might be human-shaped. The crack of light from the doorway slices across it like a clever, too dim to show whether it’s moving. The deathly stillness of the room is enough to make Aaron push the door further open until a square of yellow light sets the bed aglow.

He still can’t pick out the regular rise-and-fall movement of breath, which is the only reason he steps into the room. Andrew is prickly and volatile at the best of times, but Aaron learned the hard way that he has boundaries carved in stone when it comes to his personal space. Aaron doesn’t think he’s been in Andrew’s room since he moved in with them; the lack of personal artefacts leave the spare room indistinguishable from before Andrew moved in aside from a mess of dirty laundry scattered across the floor and a sweaty, teenage-boy musk that tells Aaron exactly how long it has been since Andrew opened a window.

There’s a fluff of blonde hair peaking out from the covers somewhere near the headboard, but still no sign of life. It’s the paranoia that pushes Aaron onwards, taking the corner of the comforter and pulling it down to expose Andrew’s face.

He doesn’t even see the eyes flashing open; it’s the instant clamping of a hand around his wrist that has a rush of air leaving Aaron’s chest as he flinches from the contact. Andrew’s knuckles are white around his arm, cutting off the blood supply to Aaron’s hand so brutally that Aaron feels like he’s about to amputate it.

“I’ll kill you,” says Andrew in a flat croak. It sounds like the first words he’s spoken in days.

“Fuck you.” Aaron writhes instinctively, but Andrew’s grip is steel. “Let go of me.”

Something in Andrew’s gaze shifts as he recognises his own features snarling back at him. “Get out,” he orders, relinquishing his grip.

“We have our presentation today.”

“Oh no.” Andrew’s eyes burn into him. “Miss Woods will be so disappointed. Just don’t offer her a shoulder to cry on. I’d hate to have to intervene.”

Aaron resists the urge to punch Andrew in his stupid, empty face. He hates how Andrew can read him like nobody else, can zero in instantly on any woman who holds his attention a second too long. He doesn’t know when being barred from a little staring during the duller parts of class became part of their deal and detests how much it feels like a one-way street. Andrew has never shown the slightest interest in anyone or anything, so it’s clearly not a huge loss on his end to cut himself off. Aaron, on the other hand, is a human being with actual feelings and desires, and the fact that Andrew expects him to behave otherwise is as absurd as it is true.

Aaron curses Andrew out again before leaving. He yanks the door shut behind him, not caring if the noise wakes Tilda.

Miss Woods makes a concerned sound when Aaron tells her Andrew is off sick, but Aaron won’t meet her eyes. He does the presentation alone.

When he returns home to find Andrew’s door still shut, he wants to be angrier than he is. Aaron is enough of a germophobe that he doesn’t get sick often anymore, but he remembers sweating under his sheets for days when he was younger, unnoticed and unacknowledged. Not that he would have wanted Tilda’s attention had she offered it. That being said, Andrew doesn’t do much to paint himself as a sympathetic figure, and Aaron is tempted to just leave him to stew. It isn’t like Andrew is really sick. Just sick in the head.

Tilda is, typically, nowhere to be seen, so Aaron fixes his own meal to take to his room. After a moment’s hesitation, he scoops half the pasta into another bowl. He only opens the door to Andrew’s room wide enough to scoot the bowl through it before shutting it after him.

He forgets about it until the next day, when he trips over the empty bowl abandoned in front of Andrew’s door. He picks it up, glances towards the closed door, and takes it down to the kitchen to wash up.

The next day, Andrew is back at school, and it’s as though nothing ever happened.

*

“You have to come to class.” Aaron wrinkles his nose as he yanks back the curtains. Andrew won the coin toss when they moved in with Nicky in Columbia, meaning his is the larger room with the south-facing windows which Aaron is convinced Andrew chose just to spite him. It’s no more personal than Andrew’s previous room, nor is it any cleaner. Andrew doesn’t move from under the convers, and Aaron belatedly remembers the effect his new drugs have on Andrew’s sleep patterns.

Aaron picks up a pillow and smacks it down on Andrew’s head before diving out of the way. Andrew bursts into life in a mess of swinging fists and manic fury before recognition clicks into place along with the usual glassy smile.

“Wrong room, Aaron! Did you get mixed up?”

“If your attendance keeps dropping, they’ll report us to social services and Nicky will lose custody.” Nicky, for all his good intentions, has been pulling nightshifts at Eden’s all week and sleeps through most of the day to recover. Each night, Andrew drags himself to the kitchen table and chatters vaguely about his classes as though he actually went to them, but it’s only a matter of time before Nicky notices something is amiss or the school phones home.

“I’m sick,” Andrew says. “Cough, cough.” His eyes are bright and there’s a little too much sway to his stance, but it’s indistinguishable from the normal side effects of his drugs.

Aaron has seen Andrew stubbornly sitting through AP math class with skin so white he looks seconds from fainting dead away, has seen him dive into the toilets between classes to gag like he’s bringing up his stomach lining, but has also seen him blow off a week straight of classes just to lie in bed all day staring at the ceiling. If there’s a rhyme or reason to Andrew’s sick days, Aaron has yet to figure it out, just like he still can’t tell when Andrew is ill or faking or when it’s just the drugs. Sometimes he hides the symptoms like a dog snarling to hide his wounds, while other times he rambles for hours about what the meds have done to his digestive tract, taking delight in grossing Aaron and Nicky out so badly that neither of them can finish their dinner.

Andrew flops back onto his bed with a dismissive gesture. “So much faith in the proactivity of social services. Your naivety is touching.”

Aaron looks at the prone body of his twin and resigns himself to the direct approach. “Are you really sick? Or is this…” He gestures vaguely. “You know. One of your moods.”

Andrew sends him a sharp, considering look. “I’m quite sure I don’t know what you mean,” he replies, his voice lilting up and down almost comically.

Aaron shakes his head, because of course just asking isn’t going to work with Andrew. He moves to put his hand on Andrew’s forehead. Andrew’s hand catches his arm in an instant, smile turning toothy and shark-like. “I would have thought you knew better by now, dear brother,” he says, half-way to that terrible, terrible laugh that means someone is about to die.

“I need to check your temperature,” Aaron says through gritted teeth. “If you’re really sick, I can pick up some medication on the way home. But I’m not buying you anything if you’re just being a fucking weirdo.”

Andrew slaps his free hand to his forehead dramatically. “Woe is me! I’m truly afflicted. Call the leach doctor!”

“If you don’t let me check then I’ll tell Nicky you’re sick and you can deal with him fussing all over you,” Aaron snarls.

“You’re telling Mommy on me? Low blow.”

Aaron flinches. Raw wounds tear open all over again. “Don’t call him that.”

Andrew stares at him for another long moment. Aaron knows better by now than to expect an apology, but Andrew’s grip on his arm loosens until his hand dangles around his wrist like a bangle. For a moment Aaron thinks Andrew is going to put Aaron’s hand to his forehead, but instead he pushes him off.

“It’s one of my moods. Call back tomorrow.”

Aaron huffs, but acknowledges that pushing Andrew any further will only end badly. He leaves Andrew grinning feverishly at his own ceiling and tries not to think about the horrific blackness beneath. Aaron remembers that space, the deep, empty pit of black that he threw himself down night after night with whatever drugs he could lay his hands on. He can’t imagine living there every hour of every day, nor being trapped there by legal mandate. He starts to wonder how Andrew ever manages to get out of bed at all.

Andrew is back in school before the end of the week, and Nicky and the social services remain none the wiser. Andrew always seems to know exactly how far he can push the system before it will break their “family” apart, but that doesn’t make Aaron any more comfortable with how he toes the line.

One more year; one more year of high school and he won’t ever have to think about Andrew and his sick games and his sicker head ever again.

*

Aaron bumps into Neil as they’re both leaving their respective dorm rooms. It’s been months since Neil and Andrew moved into a dorm together, but Aaron still isn’t used to it yet, how Neil will occasionally surface in one of Andrew’s oversized hoodies or vice versa. It’s too early in the day for Aaron to muster up the full force of his usual scowl, but they enter the elevator together in stony silence. It’s becoming rarer and rarer to see Neil without Andrew’s monolithic shadow at his shoulder, but Aaron doesn’t put too much thought into it until Neil turns up to practice on his own.

Neil answers Wymack’s raised eyebrow with a minute shake of his head which goes unnoticed by the others.

On the fourth day, Aaron watches as Wymack takes Neil aside, and they talk for several minutes with muted gestures and worried expressions. When Neil looks his way, Aaron pretends to be fixing his racquet strings. Andrew isn’t his damn responsibility anymore. He doesn’t need to care. Shouldn’t care.

The next day, Aaron pulls on a long-sleeved black shirt and a flat expression and sits in a stupor through several criminology lectures. Andrew’s lecturers know better than to bother calling on him, leaving Aaron mercifully undisturbed. What’s important is that a row of ticks appear next to Andrew’s name on their attendance sheets.

It’s Neil who opens the door to their dorm, so it’s Neil who receives the stack of notes Aaron dumps into his arms.

“Tell him to get his shit together,” Aaron says, leaving before Neil can respond.

* A week later, Andrew tracks Aaron down at the library. Mercifully, Katelyn isn’t with him; he’s in no mood to be preventing Andrew from murdering her nor himself from murdering Andrew.

“You have a strange definition of ‘letting go’,” says Andrew. He drops Aaron’s notes on the desk.

“I’m not going to sit back and watch you blow up your life for no reason. You’re a college athlete, not a high schooler. Stop handing your lecturers an excuse to kick you out.”

“For no reason,” Andrew repeats. “Is that still what you think this is?”

“I’m not a fucking mind-reader,” Aaron snaps. “You can’t keep playing your stupid games and expect the rest of us to figure out the rules. Why explain yourself when you can jerk the rest of the world around until we all run out of patience and you’re left with nothing and no one but your little fuck-buddy.”

“Language,” says Andrew, the closest thing to a warning Aaron is going to get. Aaron’s gaze flicks down. He’s still learning where the boundaries lie where Neil is involved, the ins and outs of Andrew’s protective instincts. He still isn’t used to being outside that circle, to standing on his own.

“It isn’t a game,” Andrew continues flatly. “I have depression. PTSD. A few other things besides, probably. Sometimes I get sick. Sometimes I can’t function. Sometimes I need a few days to myself. I’m not self-destructing, I’m surviving.”

Aaron stares. He knew his brother was fucked up in ways he could never imagine – the last year had been a brutal wake-up call to the depths of Andrew’s trauma – but he’s never seen it lain bare before, put down in proper terminology and honesty and acknowledgement. “So? Why should you get a free pass to do whatever just because of some shit that’s all in your head?”

“You’re going to make a terrible doctor,” says Andrew. Aaron clenches his fists, waits for the specific brand of murderous intent that Andrew alone can draw from him to pass. “Surely you know better than anyone how difficult it is to control what happens in your own mind.”

“Addiction is different. Addictive chemicals and-”

Andrew raises a finger to silence him. “Yes. Chemicals. Precisely.”

“Whatever.” There’s no worse feeling than when Andrew is right. It makes Aaron doubt every decision he’s ever made. “It doesn’t make a difference when you’re going to get kicked off the team.”

“Bee cleared my absences with the guidance department. Students with mental health difficulties get certain allowances.” Andrew pushes the notes towards him. “I don’t need your pity.”

“It wasn’t pity.”

Andrew raises an eyebrow. “It was something.”

Aaron remains silent. He isn’t sure what it was. “You’re getting help, then.”

Andrew’s gaze remains upon him for several seconds. “Like I said, you have a strange definition of ‘letting go’.” He leaves, knowing that Aaron has no response to give him.

*

The next day, Aaron and Neil bump into each other again outside their dorm rooms, both having a class that starts at the same time in the same building.  Instead of greeting Aaron with his usual disdainful glare, he nods briefly. Aaron finds himself returning the gesture. The silence is less stony now, more…quiet.

“Will he be back at practice today?” Aaron asks bluntly, without bothering to specify who he is referring to.

“Tomorrow,” says Neil after a pause. “Probably.”

“Good.”

Aaron doesn’t acknowledge the way Neil’s gaze skates over him like Aaron has turned into a new man since last they spoke. The look of understanding that skates across Neil’s face sends an uncomfortable prickle across Aaron’s skin that he resists the urge to scratch away.

He and Neil reach an understanding that neither wanted nor sought out; they may be different in more ways than Aaron cares to count, but they’ve found their common ground in Andrew.

One day, Aaron might figure out what that means.

*

The patient sitting in Aaron’s consultancy room has long legs, spindly arms and a nervous tick when she speaks. The hood of her hoodie is still pulled over her head like she wants it to swallow her whole, the sleeves pulled down over her hands.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” she says quietly. The girl’s eyes haven’t left the floor since she entered. “I can’t make myself eat. I can’t make myself sleep. It’s like I don’t know how to act like a person anymore.”

Aaron nods. She isn’t the first patient to say this to him, and she won’t be the last. He’s had a lot of practice in learning the right thing to say.

“This isn’t your fault.” Bedside manner was not a part of the doctor’s skillset that came to Aaron naturally, but every so often there’s a patient for which he makes the effort. The ones who need it most. “This is a condition, and we are going to help you manage it.”

He glances at the photo of his family that he keeps on his desk and remembers that Andrew will be phoning him tonight. They will make perfunctory enquiries about each other’s partners, talk about their respective jobs, and if Bella is in a good mood Aaron might hand her the phone so she can warble disjointed syllables at her uncle for a few minutes.

“I can’t promise that it will get better right away,” Aaron says. For the first time since she entered, the patient meets his gaze. “But this is the start. Okay?”

She nods. There’s fear in her eyes, but there’s fight too. It’s a look Aaron is more than familiar with. “Okay.”

It’s a long road to recovery, but Aaron knows that better than almost anyone. He also knows what waits on the other end.

*

Thanks for reading, please let me know what you thought! Currently open to requests (lockdown, ammiright?)

[writethehousedown]

Steady by your side, keep me in the light (Jaida x Nicky)

A/N: Jaida and Nicky hold eachother up through the worse of senior year

Nicky was not stupid. Jaida knew that, their friends knew that, and, at a rational level, Nicky herself knew that too. It was just their teachers who seemed to disagree.

Since moving to the States, she had been struggling with most subjects. Studying in her second language took her twice as long and left her exhausted, and sometimes she gave up halfway through the unit and researched the topic in online French textbooks, hoping they covered everything her teachers would ask from her. Her grades had taken a nosedive and her current GPA was barely hanging above the 3.63 required by her first choice college.

Jaida did her best to help her, but between basketball practice, her internship and her own load of high school work, they barely had enough time for two study dates a week. Nevermind actual dates. Senior year was riding them hard and there was no break in sight. On the rare moments of peace (about five minutes long each), Jaida daydreamed about the summer she would spend with her girlfriend. Two months of getting drunk with their friends and laying next to the pool without moving a muscle to recover from the mental wreckage of senior year, before everyone packed up their whole lives and moved away.

But first, they had finals to pass.

Jaida sat on her bedroom desk, with her laptop open to a new document and a copy of The Old Man and the Sea, which she was coloring with annotated post-its. Every couple of minutes, she glanced at her phone. Nicky was supposed to have joined her half an hour ago, and she hadn’t even texted. Jaida forced herself not to worry; she knew Nicky had stayed after class to talk to her civics teacher about an assignment for extra credit.

If she doesn’t show signs of life in the next fifteen minutes, I’m calling her.

She didn’t have to, because just a few minutes later, she heard the front door opening and the voices of her mom and her girlfriend talking, followed by steps approaching her room.

The door flew open and Nicky dragged her feet to the bed, where she flopped face down. Jaida watched her dramatics, amused.

“Sooo, how did it go?”

“Hmhht mhmhnt,” said Nicky, face buried into the mattress.

“Come again? Maybe lift your head.”

“I got the assignment.”

“Why so down, then?”

Nicky rolled onto her back and faced her girlfriend. “He wants me to write about threats to democracy, which sounds extremely depressing. And we’re both getting fashion bachelors! Why do we need to understand gerrymandering?”

“Because we live in Missouri. Why did you even take AP government?”

“I freaked out about the GPA, because I’m dumb.”

Jaida raised an eyebrow at her. “Nicolette.”

Nicky closed her eyes and breathed out.

“I’m not dumb. I’m smart. I’m just stressed, and that’s okay.”

Jaida’s expression softened as she walked towards the bed. “That’s better,” she praised, sitting next to her. “Let’s get the lit essay over with, then I’ll help you with civics.”

Nicky sat up and collapsed against Jaida. “D’accord. Hemingway can suck a dick, though.”

Jaida smiled and pressed her lips against Nicky’s temple. “On that, we can agree.”

____________________________________________________

Two thousand words each and a coffee break later, the girls sat on the bed, facing the laptop.

“You misspelled ‘onomatopoeia’, here,” said Jaida, pointing at the screen. Nicky leaned forward to fix it.

backspace backspace backspace

“You also used ‘allusion’ instead of ‘allegory’.”

Nicky frowned.

“Allusions describe ideas through characters and storylines, no?”

“No, that’s allegories. Allusions are just references to important people or events.”

backspace backspace backspace

“And you listed foreshadowing under figures of speech, but it isn’t.”

“Why did I… oh,” said Nicky, closing her fists and rubbing her eyes. “It’s préfiguration in French. I got confused. I hate this fucking language.”

Nicky fell onto Jaida and buried her face on her neck. Jaida started playing with Nicky’s hair with one hand and kept marking the essay with the other. She corrected one, two, three misspellings before she felt kisses along her neck clouding her judgement.

“Baby, focus, come on,” she said, jolting her shoulder. Nicky persisted.

“Nooo. You’re much more interesting than Hemingway.”

“Girl, the bar is so low…”

“Five minute break?” asked Nicky, and grazed Jaida’s skin with her teeth.

That was a step too far, because Jaida pulled away and grabbed Nicky’s face in her hands.

“Nicolette. Behave.”

Nicky huffed and fell face down on the bed, screaming into the pillow. Jaida rolled her eyes and poked her side.

“Get up, drama club. We’re not done.” Jaida slapped Nicky’s thigh, expecting her to sit up and retaliate.

Instead, Jaida noticed, her back started shaking.

“Nicks?” she said, laying down next to her.

The only response was a sob.

“Oh, baby, no, come here…” Jaida pulled Nicky close, until she could press kisses all over her face.

They stayed like that, with Jaida rubbing circles on Nicky’s back, until the sobs subsided and Nicky could speak again.

“I’m sorry, I know I’m acting like a brat,” she said, wiping her eyes forcefully.

“You’re not a brat, you’re a senior in finals,” said Jaida, kissing her hairline. “I cried in the gym showers twice this week; you’re doing just fine. What’s going on?”

“I’m scared about this class. It took me forever to read that stupid book, I even had to read a summary in French because I kept getting lost. And I still have to memorize the forty fucking words there are to say ‘metaphor’ and I’m already getting a headache.”

Jaida laughed and rolled onto her back, dragging Nicky with her.

“There’s only five, we’ll go over them later.” Nicky hummed in agreement and settled on her girlfriend’s chest.

A few moments later, she broke the silence.

“So… why were you crying?”

Nicky felt Jaida’s breathing stutter under her cheek. She ran her nails between Jaida’s clavicles and waited.

Jadia took a moment to answer.

“Bio’s kicking my ass,” she sighed. “Mrs. Jensen’s been lenient, but…” she trailed off, shaking her head. “She’s not gonna bump up my grade just ‘cause I ask her. I either do well in the final, or I kiss you and our college goodbye.”

Nicky propped herself up and looked at Jaida, who wouldn’t meet her eyes.

“What did you say?”

Jaida stared at the wall and shrugged dismissively.

“We never discussed long-distance. All of our plans assume we’ll be living on the same campus, but if I don’t get in and you do, I don’t- I’m not sure what that’s gonna look like.”

Jaida feels Nicky’s hand on her cheek, tilting her face forward.

“First of all, I’ve seen your grades. You just need an eight. You’re getting an eight, Jaida, it’s you. And second of all,” she dropped ‘till their noses were touching, “it’s cute how you think that long distance is enough to get rid of me,” Nicky said, poking her tongue out and licking Jaida’s lips.

Jaida grinned, big and toothy, and pushed Nicky off. Her girlfriend fell on her back, laughing.

“Fuck off, I’m trying to open up, bitch.”

Nicky took her hand and smiled at her “I know. I love you.” She turned to face her. “I’m going to be serious, now.”

“Oh, no…”

Nicky lightly bumped Jaida’s chin with her knuckles. “Whatever the next years will look like, here, in Missouri, in fucking Antartica, I don’t see a life without you in it. I love my family, and our friends, but you’re the person who’s made these past years bearable.”

Jaida smiled and squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to get emotional at the memory of little fifteen-year-old Nicky. Jaida had seen her all lonely and lost that first week of class and sauntered into her life, and they just hadn’t parted ways since.

“Remember when you first moved here? You were so quiet and shy, it was adorable. Now I can never get you to shut up.”

“You have your methods,” Nicky smirked. “Speaking of which…”

“We’re not done with your essay, Nicks.”

Nicky pouted and put on her best puppy eyes. Jaida could feel her resolve slipping.

“Don’t give me those eyes, that’s not fair…”

Nicky leaned in to kiss Jaida’s nose, her cheek, the corner of her mouth.

“Break now?”

Jaida moved on top of Nicky and kissed her back, slow and sweet.

“You get ten minutes.”

“Fine by me.”

[clarasghosts]

Watching ap bio as someone who really has recently transitioned from teaching at a college to teaching at a high school (and also intends for it to be temporary)

Literally just in the cold open and he would already be fired. Running down the school sign aside, do you know how strict it is in terms of what you can say in front of k-12 students?

But I honestly don't understand how he got this job in the first place. You don't need a credential to teach at a university, but you do need one to teach at a public school. You also need a degree in the subject that you teach, and he's already said that he doesn't care about biology. I'm hoping that it will be revealed soon that he has a BS in biology and that his philosophy focus came about in graduate school, but I suspect that the reality of the situation is that this show was conceived by wealthy people who have worked in show business for so long that they have no connection to reality anymore. (I know that seth meyers is an exec producer, and I adore him, but this just isn't looking good)

AP classes always have these big important ap tests that the majority of students take Very Seriously. There's no way these kids wouldn't immediately complain to admin out of fear of failing their tests.

Alright, now that I've moved past the cold open, I see that the angle they're going for is that patton oswalt is such a nonconfrontational principal that he lets jack get away with shit, but the thing is that principals don't solely make the hiring decisions. Schools have departments and department heads and team leaders.

The teachers lounge convo isn't unrealistic or anything in that if there are no kids around teachers don't watch their language, but it was three women spending the whole time talking about men, which is very this-show-was-written-by-men :(

Just saying, I have had teachers lounge convos ranging from discussing autism to arguing over minimum wage being raised (I still hold a bit of anger for that woman), so they really could have gone for something more interesting

Okay, but I do love these kids already

It's weird that jack learns that he can apparently make the kids do what he wants (and is also surprised by this) considering he supposedly went from teaching at a university where he could do almost anything he wanted (in three years I: rolled in my chair through the hallways, said fuck in front of the students multiple times, told my students they can write fuck in their papers if it's rhetorically appropriate, cried in front of my students after the 2016 election, assigned them a documentary on voodoo, assigned them a reading on the f slur, told my students about that time I saw a ghost, used buzzfeed unsolved as an example of building an argument using a claim, reasons, and evidence) to working at a high school, which is much stricter (I would not attempt any of the above, though one debate class did convince me to talk about the healthcare issue and I cried in front of them about it)

I can't tell what period of the day this class is supposed to be. Is it first period? Is it around lunch time? I don't know.

I don't know if that weird jumpcut was intended or part of the app. Hopefully the latter.

Jack does perfectly embody the white boy academic who thinks that every word out of his mouth is a gift and that he's entitled to everything he wants. The only thing they didn't get right is that he has, at least temporarily, failed at getting one of those things.

That guy that stepped in for part of the class is also very accurate! There's nothing more depressing than a teacher who cares more about discipline than learning, but they are real and out there (I'm sure I don't need to tell anyone that) and the source of so many kids thinking they hate perfectly enjoyable subjects.

Jack is definitely not straight. Also I'm probably biased because it's glenn howerton, but I kind of already love him.

Why would the principal show up at his house, though, in the middle of the evening.

This app is garbage and keeps skipping through scenes, the show is a mess that wants what bad education had, but I have a weakness for disaster authority figures that are actually really protective of the gaggle of kids under their care, and I can see this growing into that, so I'll keep watching. I don't know what that says about me as a person.

[botanyshitposts]

hey i remember you saying that you took ap bio a while ago? and i just wanted to ask if you had any tips or resources for that class, because it's already march and my teacher still hasn't covered a lot of content and i really wanna learn about biology and do well on the test

and now for a post on 

𝓋𝒾𝓉𝒶𝓁   𝒷𝒾𝑜𝓁𝑜𝑔𝒾𝒸𝒶𝓁   𝓉𝑜𝓅𝒾𝒸𝓈

a lot of AP biology is just….repeating over and over again some very core stuff. this is the same stuff that, if u go to college for biology, you will hear over and over again in all your specialized classes so you can use that base knowledge to build off of. learning some of these things in AP bio in high school suddenly made me understand what the fuck i was reading about in random botany papers on the internet.

here is a list of some of these things that i can think of right off the top of my head, followed by a no-means-comprehensive brief description 

-cellular respiration: 1. food bits enter the cell. 2. food bits go through some processing right outside the mitochondria. 3. Special, Refined Food Bits™ are invited into the mitochondria, where they are processed a little more before their electrons are ripped from them and shoved over like….u know those old timey flour mills powered by the big water wheel things?? the electrons are the water going over the big water wheel thing, the old timey mill is this one protein embedded in the inner wiggly parts of the mitochondria, and the flour is a chemical the rest of the organism can use as energy. so thats that on that

-photosynthesis: 1. there are a few kinds of photosynthesis that all argue over how one should get water into the actual photosynthesis chemical reaction. different kinds of plants sometimes use different kinds of photosynthesis. 2. it happens in chloroplasts, which are green because they can absorb red and blue light but can’t absorb green light and therefore reflect all that shit out and we see green. 3. there are a couple proteins that do the actual capturing of light (they don’t actually capture the light itself despite this wording you hear; the light just excites some electrons from water, and those get passed around. long story) that are cool as fuck that you should look at. 4. there are ‘light’ reactions and ‘dark’ reactions. light reactions turn sun energy into high-energy molecules, dark reactions are the plant taking those high-energy molecules and using them to turn CO2 into usable sugars it can send around the plant and digest when needed (by digesting them as the food bits mentioned in cellular respiration)

-the so-called ‘central dogma of biology’: this is super important. like every advanced biology class ive taken in college has drilled this with us. basically, it’s the process DNA takes to make itself into actual proteins that get expressed in an organism. the steps are: 

1. start with DNA. DNA is replicated using the enzyme DNA polymerase. the process of DNA replication is called…well, DNA replication. 

2. a little portion of relevant DNA is copied into a little strip of RNA, which is single stranded and can be safely moved out of the nucleus into the cell (this is because if u were to actually export the raw ass DNA into the cell, if something fucked it up it would literally fuck up the entire DNA strand and that would be really, really bad). it does this using the enzyme RNA polymerase. this process is called transcription (as in like, you transcribe something you hear someone say by copying it down. this sounds obvious but its really easy to get this step and the next step mixed up)

3. after the RNA gets processed into mRNA (which is just an edited version with extra shit on the ends to keep it from getting nerfed upon contact with the outside world), it gets exported into the cell and imported into an organelle called a Ribosome, which reads the mRNA and attaches amino acids to a chain of amino acids in the order that it the mRNA says to (this is one of those things that seems like…impossible for something to do just with chemistry, but once u learn about it ur like ‘ooohhh thats how it does that’). the ribosome then releases the chain once it hits a point on the mRNA strand that tells it that the chain is complete. once the chain of amino acids is like, out there floating around, it’s own chemistry (and sometimes other enzymes and stuff) causes it to fold into an actual protein, which can like…actually do stuff and things. this is process is called translation, as in, you translate something from one language to another. 

-speaking of cells, cell stuff: 1. most cells go through cycles of life towards the goal of dividing from one cell into two cells. the process goes G1, S, G2, M  (unless you’re a cell that isn’t supposed to divide once u reach maturity, like a neuron, in which case u exist in a state called G0). before one phase, the cell checks itself to make sure that everything is in place and ready to go to the next stage. if something is wrong in this checking process, it can be a physical manifestation of cancer, the uncontrolled and unregulated growth of cells. 2. the M phase- Mitosis- has a whole ass process all of it’s own that’s super important that i wont go into here. 3. the creation of genetically recombined cells (reproduction) undergoes the process of Meiosis (different from mitosis!!! idk why they named these so similarly!!!! oh my god!!!!). this is….kind of like mitosis, but most definitely not mitosis. do not let a question on a test fool u when it asks u if its the same thing. it’ wild process that i can 100% guarantee you’ll get tested on at some point in ur biological career and i want to let u know right off the bat that it took me learning this three (3) separate times in three (3) separate classes to actually understand it bc that shit is confusing as fuck so. just lettin u know right off the bat there 4. cells are full of smaller compartmentalized organ things called organelles that do stuff and things, the most important being the nucleus, which holds the DNA (unless it’s a bacteria. bacteria DO NOT have nuclei and their DNA literally just floats in there, whole ass out in a kind of….weird special region called the nucleoid. this is another thing that teachers love to ask on tests). 

-evolution: 1. evolution is descent with modification. if a mouse gets its tail cut off, then has babies, the babies will still be born with tails, because evolution does not pass on acquired traits (this sounds super obvious but in the victorian era they literally, actually determined this by cutting off mouse tails and having them have babies bc everyone thought an offsprings’ resemblance to it’s parents came from ‘’’’’essences’’’’’ from every part of the parents’ bodies physically migrating to the reproductive organs to have offspring, which like……they were on the right track but that’s really, really not how that works lmao) 2. we have two copies of every chromosome so that if a gene in one copy is Fucked Up, the gene in the other copy can cover it so it doesn’t bother anything. genes in this context are called ‘alleles’. this leads to a system where alleles can be dominant or recessive, demonstrated by a capital letter (dominant = A) and a lowercase letter (recessive = a). note that a recessive allele doesnt necessarily translate to a Fucked Up allele, but that Fucked Up alleles in general, regardless of how they affect other alleles, are generally selected against. you can see how a Fucked Up dominant allele could be much be more destructive than a Fucked Up recessive allele, though; dominant alleles get passed on to offspring at a higher rate, and will ‘cover’ less fucked up alleles. it’s a mess in there man 3. a pair of two of the same kind of allele (two dominant or two recessive) are referred to as ‘homozygous’, while a dominant allele paired with a recessive allele are called ‘heterozygous’. 4. the genetic makeup of an offspring in regards to a single pair of alleles in it’s parents can be determined by something called a ‘punnet square’. behold: 

this is referring to yellow-colored and green-colored beans. the Y dominant allele will cover the recessive green allele, showing the effects of the Y allele in the offspring. one parent his homozygous for recessive y alleles while the other parent is heterozygous. this means that half the offspring will turn out yellow while the other half will turn out green, because half of them will be heterozygous for Y while the other half will be homozygous for the recessive y if that makes sense (note: the ‘genotype’ of an organism is the state of it’s alleles, the ‘phenotype’ of an organism is what actually is expressed. so a bean pod with the Yy genotype and a bean pod with the YY genotype will both have a yellow phenotype). punnett squares can be kind of tricky to learn, but practice helps a lot once you get going. 

this post is getting to be like 800 miles long so im gonna stop for the sanity of everyone reading this but other biology people of tungle feel free to add on more core biology concepts, i know im covering mostly molecular stuff here but there’s also like…population biology, anatomy, reproduction, basic biological diversity, and all that stuff that doesn’t deal with genes and cells and all that (which by the way isn’t for everyone; some people despise this part of biology, so anybody wondering if they should go into bio reading this post thinking ‘god oh no i hate this’ know this post swings heavily in the direction of the portion of bio i prefer lmao)