#if youre a college student think about how much you pay in tuition and know that your teacher would be lucky to make half that in a year

[casuallyhollering]

I fear that culturally we're too anti-intellectual for this conversation, but I wish we could talk about how academics are in a similar position to writers/actors/musicians in that we do all the labor for institutions like universities AND academic presses and do not get the pay, treatment, or residuals that we deserve while it all gets funneled to the higher up admin and for-profit entities

[gremlingottoosilly]

König x Housekeeper!Reader? He was expecting some little old lady, not a college student looking for an extra side hustle to pay their tuition. He can already picture them as a housewife as they work around his mess of a place.

You're playing with the poor man's heart! When he was signing up for the weekly maid services, he hoped that it would be different people each time. Calling in for a housekeeper and a cleaner is already embarrassing enough at his grown age - there is a voice inside his head that tells him he should man the fuck up and stop being so damn difficult about watching over his own house, but having a regular maid who would know just how messy his life is...yeah, he was not having it. He needed someone old and boring, someone who, preferably, doesn't even speak German so he won't have to awkwardly master the conversation. He got you instead. You're...you're fucking perfect. In cozy and comfortable clothes, nothing that hugs your body and suggests something innappropriate - and yet every time you bend over, he can't help but imagine the way your ass must look under these baggy pants and has to fight the urge to just grab your waist and slam his erection against the curve of your hip. You're eager to work, you buzz around the messy house like a busy bee you are - there isn't much of his personal items inside, but his clothes and various gear laying around does make it a messy space. You were wondering if he is either a soldier or a serial killer, judging by the amount of weapons you got laying around...but it's better to not ask this question. You just needed some money, and the maid services are paying on the day of work - with repeating clients actually sometimes leaving you a nice tip or something to eat if you were to clean their houses at the dead of the night...it's really nice, somehow. Konig just can't keep his hands to himself sometimes. You look too adorable not to compliment on how you look - although he never dares, usually just staring at you from the corner. You're probably thinking he is afraid of you stealing something, but it's not like you really care about any of this, to be completely honest...you just want to keep your head low and get money. Unfortunately for you, Konig has a thing for housewife and domestic life. One time you were doing the routinely cleaning and it got really late - and with Konig literally having his house as far from civillization as possible, ass the buses were already leaving from the stations, leaving you stranded until the morning...and you'd be fucked or in for a very hefty taxi bill if it weren't for Konig oh so generously allowing you to spend the night at the guest room. You knew each other for a few months already, and the guy is harmless...naturally, you agree. Naturally, you never left this house without him again.

[patolemus]

Sterek fic recs: Fake Dating AU Edition

Because @oldefashioned requested a fake dating rec list, here it is. These are all very funny, as fake dating fics ought to be, so I hope you get a good laugh out of it.

1. Not Your Disney Romance by Wrennefer (Wrenegadeone)

After a long-forgotten agreement of an arranged marriage between Derek and the daughter of another pack's alpha resurfaces, Stiles takes it upon himself to become the most amazing fake fiancé that a clueless, desperate alpha werewolf could wish for.

Notes: Domestic pack, my beloved. Stiles and Derek are precious here, I LOVE THEM!! The visiting pack, not so much, but who cares about them?? It's all pretty lighthearted, all things considered. It's completed.

2. Electricity In the Contact by ladyblahblah

In which Derek has been invited to the Greater Pacific Northwest Alpha Symposium (that's not what it's called, Stiles, stop saying that), and showing up unattached would mean an arranged marriage. When the rest of the pack objects, he agrees to let Stiles come along to pose as his mate. Derek is reasonably sure that he's not going to make it out of this weekend alive.

Notes: Werewolf convention fics are so good! I actually haven't found all that many, considering how common a trope it is, and it's a tragedy because they're always so well done! This one is no exception, and the mini-world building is also great! It's completed.

3. can’t be hateful, gotta be grateful by HalfFizzbin

"Be cool, Dad, we've decided to con Grandma." (Or, the one where the Stilinski men drag Derek to Thanksgiving dinner at Grandma's and she gets the right wrong idea.)

Notes: this one is just *cheff´s kiss* wonderful! It's all pretty domestic and the humor is on point. College student Stiles and the Sheriff are strong armed into spending Thanksgiving with Stiles' grandma, and they find nothing better than to bring Derek with them. Pining and misunderstandings ensue and thus comes the fake dating. It's completed.

4. Gravity’s Got Nothing on You by zosofi

“Three weeks,” Derek says. “Still don’t want to,” Stiles says. “I’ll pay you,” Derek says, and that… that has Stiles interested. Alf’s Antique’s may be a great job, but it’s not a high-paying job, and half of Stiles’s tuition is coming from financial aid, so… “How much,” Stiles asks, “are we talking here? Because I know your family, dude. And it’ll be kind of awkward after.“ “My family thinks you’re some sort of fucking gift to the world,” Derek seethes, like he’s jealous, “they’ll probably be pissed at me when we break it off, so don’t worry about that. Five hundred bucks.” “A thousand,” Stiles says, because screw ethics. Also, the Hale family is loaded. Derek can deal.

Notes: this had such a chokehold on me when I first read it. Absolutely wonderful. Enemies to lovers?? Maybe. Assholes to assholes-in-love, is a better descriptor. There's werewolves, and magic, and it's awesome! It's completed.

5. He’s Not Mine by Sonnee

Derek comes home to find an abandoned werebaby on his front porch and Stiles volunteers to help him out. Surprisingly, that is just the beginning of his problems.

Notes: again, it's all very domestic, like most fake dating fics ought to be. It's a kid fic, Sterek are mates, we have all the love. Not much else I can think to add... it's completed.

6. Real life isn’t a movie (life doesn’t make narrative sense) by dearericbittle (dutchmoxie)

Somehow accidentally insulting a hot guy in a coffee shop leads to pretending to be his boyfriend in front of a house full of werewolves. Stiles Stilinski is living his best life and making the most of his Hallmark movie moment.

Notes: this one had me cracking up because it's so funny! Stiles is living his best life, for real. Derek... suffers. But it's okay, because he gets a boyfriend out of this whole thing! They are disgustingly sweet in that assholish way they have. It's completed.

7. You look like my next mistake by Vendelin

“So, are you dating someone new? Someone who doesn’t mind that you’re frigid?” Kate cocks her head to the side, smiling as though she just asked him about where he bought his shoes. His entire body sighs in defeat as his shoulders grow square. Just as he opens his mouth, someone comes up to stand beside him, snaking an arm around his shoulders. When he glances to his side, expecting to see Isaac, his brain seems to malfunction. Because it isn’t Isaac. It’s Stiles Stilinski, the lacrosse talent of the year, a senior who Derek has seen multiple times from far away, but never ever talked to. In which Derek is a nerd jock, and Stiles is a frat guy, and Derek falls for him even though he knows he shouldn't.

Notes: this one had me HOWLING it's so good!! Frat boy Stiles, my beloved. It's technically not fake dating because it turns into an actual relationship pretty quickly, but it starts as fake dating so I'll take it. Stiles is an absolute sweetheart in this one, I love him! And Derek is shy, and insecure, but he's so great, and everyone gets a happy ending except Kate, which is always a good thing. It's completed.

8. All’s Fair In Orgasms and War by bleepobleep

AVN BREAKING NEWS-- DIAMOND VISTA RIDGE BREAKS HIS CONTRACT WITH HALE HOUSE "We haven't seen much of our favorite rock hard stud from Hale House ever since that indie twink dethroned him as champion in Orgasm Wars, but it's just been confirmed that Diamond will no longer be working for the legendary studio famous for producing some of our favorite werewolf-on-human works. Don't fret, Diamond fans, it looks like he's been spotted cozying up to True Alpha Studios! Apparently he couldn't get enough of that one human and then followed him home. Could it be true love? Keep your eye on this studio-- us at AVN think we're about to get a lot more of Diamond in a very new way!" ~ The one in which (almost) everyone is a porn star, and Derek just wants to curl up with his fluffy blanket and watch the Hallmark channel, but work and falling in love gets in the way.

Notes: okay but is this fake dating? Maaaaaybe. It's kinda complicated. Basically everyone here is a porn star and the pack has this studio where they cater to werewolves and have a whole thing about established relationships, which is where the fake dating comes up. It's surprisingly very fluffy, considering this is a porn au, and Derek is the softest goober in this one. Stiles is completely enamoured. It's completed.

9. Wanted from the You Are series by Asterekmess (Livinginfiction)

With the Hale pack finally settled and safe, it only makes sense that something would happen to screw it all up. To top it all off, Stiles has to pretend to be Derek's mate, or face a pack of angry Alphas. He's doomed.

Notes: Alright so this series is wonderful. The world building done for the Alpha pack is also great, and that's the center of the second part (which has the fake dating). I do recommend reading the first part before jumping on to Wanted because it is a direct continuation. Also, it's an amazing au! It's completed.

10. For Love is Not Ours to Command by weathervaanes

Where Derek's skills at thinking on his feet mean that he and Stiles have to act. For the sake of Stiles' dad, of course, for the sake of the pack. No personal interest interference at all, whatsoever. Right. -0- “Why does my dad say that you and your boyfriend are a bad influence on me?” “What?” “Yeah, what boyfriend? Dude, you are not allowed to not tell me crap like this. You didn't think I'd like be a douchebag or something. Right?” “No, wait, what? I have no boyfriend.” “He says you were with him at the police station.” Stiles blinks. “Uhm. Oh shit.”

Notes: Stiles just wanted to find dirt on Raphael McCall to blackmail him. Somehow, he got himself a whole ass boyfriend. It's complicated. That's it, that's the fic. It's completed.

11. Stiles Stilinski, Boyfriend Extraordinaire by MareLoup

“Beacon County Sheriff's Department, this is deputy Mahealani speaking.” “Oh thank god!” “Stiles?” “I, uh, I need some advice.” “Advice?” “Yeah. So, hypothetically, say you met your boyfriend’s mother and sister for the first time ever. Completely by accident. In the grocery store. And they convinced you to help them make a dinner to surprise aforementioned boyfriend when he got home after work. What would you do?” Danny paused, and then, “Stiles, you don’t have a boyfriend.” “That’s not the point! And I said hypothetically.” “Stiles...what are you doing right now?” *** Stiles never imagined he’d be in Derek’s kitchen cooking a surprise dinner with Derek’s family while they waited for Derek to get home from work. Partly because their visit was a complete surprise. But mostly because Stiles didn’t have a boyfriend. Or even know who Derek was. But he’d already come this far and Papa didn’t raise no quitter!

Notes: this is to date one of my favorite Sterek fics. I laughed so much while reading this, I'm not even joking. The whole thing is a comedy of errors gone right. Stiles somehow finds himself pretending to be Derek's boyfriend, only he has no idea who Derek even is and why his family knows Stiles at all. His inner monologue is one of the funniest I've read, and his slow descent into (good natured) madness is wonderful. It's completed.

12. Love Like An Ache In The Jaw by Anonymous

“So let me get this straight,” The sheriff massages his temples, “You found a magic book, and performed a magic spell that has backfired and magically bound you to Derek Hale, rendering you both in agony if you’re not in the same room.” Derek and Stiles exchange a look. “Um. Yes.” Stiles says sheepishly. “Right. And just to be clear, when we’re talking agony… exactly how agonizing is the agony?” Derek clears his throat. “Sir, I’ve had a pole stabbed through my chest and held there for an hour. This was… similar.” - In which boredom, magic and dumbassery come together to produce a Christmas miracle slash disaster. Oh, and Stiles' grandmother who knows absolutely nothing about the supernatural happens to be in town. Oops.

Notes: another hilarious one. Stiles does Stiles things and ends up magically bound to Derek. No one is amused except Stiles' grandmother, who's having the time of her life, here. It's completed!

[hyperlexichypatia]

One time I asked my mom (in her 70s) whether she, personally, knew any people in so-called "traditional marriages." I defined a "traditional marriage" as follows:

A man and a woman, married to each other

They are both each other's first and only spouse, neither has been married before

Neither of them has any children with any other partner

Any children they have were born after the couple was married.

After thinking about it, my mom was able to come up with a few examples of such couples. But only a few. And she had to think about it.

Yet we still live in a society where this type of family is considered "the norm" and the much more common types (blended families, single parents, divorced people) are considered "exceptions."

And this is not the only thing like this! There are many experiences/lifestyles/family types that are treated as The Default or The Norm that, in fact, may not apply to a majority at all!

Even in discussions like "We should remember that not everyone has [normative experience]," it's still framed as though the normative experience is, of course, still the statistical norm. It might not be at all! Or maybe it is the statistical norm worldwide, or nationwide, but not in your particular community, or your social circle.

Sometimes it's necessary to look at global or national statistics to correct your bias of extrapolating from your social circle. Social bubbles are a real problem. But. But. Other times. It's useful to just look at your social circle and ask yourself "Do these population-wide statistics really apply here? Should I be looking at them to determine what's 'normal' instead of just looking around me?"

So here are some things that are culturally assumed in the U.S. to be "the norm", that you might want to ask yourself: How many people do I know personally that this is actually true of? (Other countries have their own maybe-not-that-normal norms that I'm not as familiar with, but feel free to weigh in on).

How many people do you know personally who:

Have a "traditional marriage" as described above?

Have a work schedule of Monday through Friday, ending at 5:00 p.m.? i.e. for whom Saturdays, Sundays, and evenings after 5:00 are "not at work" time?

Attended residential college from ages 18 to 22, and graduated with a bachelor's degree by age 23?

Had most or all of their college tuition and living expenses paid for by their parents?

Have, as an adult, the same surname as both of their parents, who were and still are, married to each other? Which was their father's surname which their mother took at marriage? i.e. whose parents could accurately be referred to as "Mr. and Mrs. [that persons' same surname]"?

Don't take any regular daily medicine?

Depending on your social circle, you might know very few people in these categories! But you probably still hear people say unquestioned, taken-for-granted things like "We should have the meeting at 6:00, so people can come after work," or "Of course parents of college students should have a say, since they're paying for it."

In many demographics, these things aren't just "not always true"; they're hardly if ever true. I wrote here about the false assumption that college students are uniformly single, childless young adults. Are you scheduling your events on the assumption that evenings and weekends are free time? For that matter, how many child care providers serve families during the hours that most parents actually work? Are we ready to admit that these things aren't the norm yet?

[the-guilty-writer]

Pick Your Poison

Request: from @doctorsteeb OH YOU SAY YOU NEED MORE ROSSI!DAUGHTER REQUEST?? I AM HERE I HAVE ARRIVED

Rossi!daughter being a barista and unknowingly serving BAU their coffee all the time? Then eventually learning she’s rossi’s daughter?

(Tell me if this is Too Specific I can be more vague)

David Rossi x daughter!reader, Criminal minds x platonic!reader

Summary: You've been serving coffee to the BAU team for months... imagine their shock when they learn that you're David Rossi's daughter.

A/N: Thank you so much for this request! I love writing rossi daughter. The sass, the italian nicknames, the banter- it's so much fun! I hope you enjoy this! (this does include the request of reader having studied abroad but I'm doing a seprate fic for that one as well)

CW: an absurd amount of talk about types of coffee, if you look up the meaning of rossi's nickname for reader you might cry

---

It was 4:00 AM when your shift at the coffee shop began. It didn’t open until 5:00, but you were in charge of opening the place yourself. You didn’t mind, though; it gave you time to think about how you might mess with your dad’s co-workers that day.

Rossi went back to work at the BAU just before you entered high school. With his busy work schedule, you both agreed that a boarding school close to home would be best. When it came time for college, you applied to a few schools in the States, but you had an itch to see the world. It was an incredible, well-earned surprise when you were accepted into the University of Bologna in Italy. Your dad had been incredibly supportive, and even though your extended family was dysfunctional at best, he was happy you’d be going somewhere there were relatives nearby.

You loved Italy, but after graduation you had wanted to move home and take a gap year. A friend from high school had opened a coffee shop not far from the Quantico office, and having been a barista at a local shop through college to help pay for your student costs (not that you needed it when your dad could easily afford your tuition) it was the perfect situation.

The fact that your dad’s co-workers were your most frequent customers didn’t hurt either. Not that they knew you were David Rossi’s daughter - your tag only displayed your given name - but it was interesting to have such casual interactions with the people your father spent most of his time with. And having been raised by a profiler, you had a little too much fun knowing something that the best minds in the nation didn’t.

---

It was 4:56 AM when Aaron Hotchner pushed open the door to the shop. Had it been any other customer, you would have told them that it didn’t actually open for another four minutes, but the man was there frequently enough that you really didn’t care. Plus, his order was about as simple as possible to make: a robusta medium roast from Columbia with a single shot of espresso. After only a few weeks, you noticed that he ordered an extra shot in his morning coffee about three days after a case, when the paperwork was the most heavy. This happened to be one of those days.

“Good morning, Mr. Hotchner,” you greeted him. “I’m already working on your usual this morning, unless of course you would like to try something new.” You knew he wouldn’t.

“Thank you,” he said, looking down at his watch. “Could I get an extra shot of espresso?”

You put a lid on the cup and handed it to him, moving to the register to ring him up. “Already done,” you told him.

He chuckled a bit- the smallest smile escaping his lips. “Do I really look that bad?” He handed you cash as he always did so he could leave the change in the tip jar. This morning he was either so tired he hadn’t thought about the bill he pulled out of his wallet, or he was feeling generous. By what you had heard about him from your dad, it was probably the latter.

“Not at all,” you handed him his change. “We all need the extra boost some days.”

“Thank you,” he said, putting all his change in the jar before leaving the shop.

He hurried out so quickly he didn’t even notice that you had written out his order on the board of specials for the day, calling it “The Unit Chief”.

---

As always, Spencer Reid was the first customer you served once the shop had officially opened. The doctor, unlike his boss, enjoyed exploring the different brews - always asking what region the beans had come from and giving you facts or statistics about his drink choice for that day. You listened to him ramble as you prepared him an arabica light roast grown in Asia; a bean the shop had just received.

“About a third of the world's coffee comes from Asia, but when asked the average American usually assumes that their coffee has been grown in Latin America or Africa,” he explained. “It’s also widely agreed upon by coffee enthusiasts that Asia produces the sweetest coffee.”

“Well then you won’t be needing as much sweetener as normal, Doctor,” you said as you handed him his order. “But I refilled the jar of sugar just for you.”

“Oh, thanks,” he said, grabbing three packs of sugar- two less than normal- and stuffing them into his jacket pocket. “Have a nice day!” He smiled awkwardly before turning and leaving out the door.

As soon as he left you wrote down his order on the specials board, deeming it “The Genius”. He wouldn’t notice you wrote the same words on his cup until he sat down at Quantico.

---

You weren’t quite sure who would be in to get their coffee next, but you smiled when it was Agent Jerau. There was something about the petite blonde and how easily she made conversation that brought a sense of serenity to your day. The rest of the team were very distinct- the kind of people you could look at and simply believe that they worked for the BAU- but other than being absurdly pretty, Jennifer was normal.

Even her arabica “bean of the day” cappuccino was the most common order out of all of them, with the exception that she always bought a single iced cookie to go with it.

“In all the time I’ve worked here I haven’t actually tried these cookies,” you told her as you pulled one out of the pastry display and put it in a bag.

“Neither have I,” she said. “But my son loves them.”

You thought of the little blonde boy that sometimes accompanied her and her fiance to the shop on the weekends. He always got a cup of steamed milk to look like his parents, but he always ended up dunking his cookie in it when they sat down at a table.

“I’ll have to try one then.”

The agent left before she could notice the board, which had her order paired with an iced cookie named “The Mother” written among the rest.

---

Per usual, Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia came into the shop together. You knew their flirtatious behavior was actually a demonstration of a platonic friendship, but that was only because Rossi had told you so.

“Baby Girl,” Morgan said to Garcia as you handed him his normal robusta medium roast red eye with just enough hazelnut creamer that the coffee wasn’t ridiculously bitter, “I’ve got the payment for today.”

“Derek, you know very well that I can and will hack into the system and change the credit card number to mine,” she told him, quickly glancing at you to say. “I promise I’m not stealing money from the shop. I love local businesses. If anything I would give you more money so this place stays open.”

You smiled, preparing her extremely complex order that changed slightly from day-to-day but always stayed as sweet as possible. Today it was an arabica medium roast from Ethiopia with all the fixings to complete the order into a chocolate caramel mocha.

“I’m sure my boss would appreciate that,” you told her. The idea of your father having to deal with a woman as sweet and eccentric as Penelope never failed to make you laugh.

She dug a handful of coins out of her purse to put in the tip jar before her and Morgan bid you a good day and left to go to work. You adjusted the order labeled “The Techie” to fit her drink for that day, but left Derek’s alone - “The Door Destroyer.”

---

Emily Prentiss was the last of the team to grab her coffee that morning. You were aware that she was the most observant in everyday situations, but that morning she was behind schedule by around ten minutes. Her boots clicked against the floor of the shop - lower pitched than the sound of heels but higher than those of men’s shoes. She moved fast towards the counter.

“I have your order ready,” you told her. “Robusta african dark roast latte with a double shot of espresso.”

“Thank you so much.” She paid quickly, leaving a handsome tip.

In all her rush her observation skills had faltered. Not only had she missed that she had a milk mustache, but she also didn’t see that her order on the board was labeled “The Modern Femme Fatale”.

---

“So,” Rossi said casually. “The best coffee near Quantico?”

With all the extra paperwork, the team had decided they needed extra caffeine, a short break, and some fresh air. Even Hotch thought it was a good idea, which is how David Rossi ended up walking towards the Pick Your Poison coffee shop with the rest of the BAU.

“It’s great,” Reid started. “They let you pick everything from the location, the bean type, the roast. There was this one time they got in a robusta from Brazil that-”

“Or you can just pick from their menu,” JJ told Rossi, interrupting Reid before he could go on any further. “It doesn’t have to be complicated.”

“If you say so,” Rossi replied nonchalantly.

The team filed into the cafe and he saw you working behind the counter, your hair pulled away from your face as you checked the machinery. You looked up at them as they entered, all still oblivious to the small daily specials board that had their orders on it.

They greeted you and ordered one at a time, the same thing each of them had gotten that morning, leaving Rossi for last. He smiled when he stepped up to the counter and pulled you into a hug. “Mio passerotta.”

You returned his hug, a wide smile spreading across your face. “Ciao, Papa.”

“Wait-” Emily, being the only other person in the room who spoke Italian, picked up on it first. “You’re Rossi’s daughter?”

You laughed. “Have been all my life.”

The team looked around at one another, all slightly confused.

“How did you not know that we work with your dad?” JJ asked.

You shook your head. “Oh, no. I knew. I just wanted to see how long it would take you all to figure it out.”

Morgan looked stunned, Garcia’s jaw couldn’t drop any further, and Reid was tilting his head, probably trying to pick out the similarities between you and your dad.

Hotch turned to Rossi. “Dave, care to explain?”

“It was her idea, not mine.” He held up his hands defensively.

"You've been working here for five months, three weeks, and six days," Reid said.

"That is an excellent observation, doctor," you replied. "In my dad's defense, he said I had to confess before the six month mark."

"I'm suprised it took a confession in the first place," Rossi, then turned to you. “Now, I’ll speak in English so the nerds can understand. What specials do you have today?”

“Well,” You glanced at the special’s board, “If you’re going for the most caffeine I would choose “The Unit Chief” or “The Modern Femme Fatale”. “The Door Destroyer” has the strongest flavor on the bitter side and both “The Genius” and “The Techie” lean towards sweet. I’d recommend “The Mother”, but it’s past 11 AM and we all know how la mia bisnonna feels about cappuccinos past the morning.”

The team looked around at one another in complete shock over the specials order board you had put together. A smirk crossed your face as they gawked at you ever so slightly.

Your dad chuckled. “I’ll just go with a good old fashioned un caffe, then.”

“Presto in arrivo,” you said, and got to work on everyone’s order’s, but not before adding a single shot of espresso to the board called “Mia Papa.”

[evilsniigura]

Adam fucks his daughter because he made her. He owns you, you came from his balls so you're going to be fucked with the cock that made you. And you'll like it, you were made to like it because he says so.

Caine and abel get to fuck you very rarely but that's only because adam acknowledges that you're rebellious and he would rather you fuck your brothers than some random loser.

Caine is rough and likes leaving marks on you to make a point to adam, he would cut his name into you if he could.

Abel is softer but obviously tries to be like adam yet fails, hes better at watching than fucking (dont tell adam he refuses to have a cuck for a son)

Dont get me started on grandfather chuck who spoils you, who sits you on his lap for every family photo holding your hips down, who pays for your college tuition, your books, outfits, anything you need but not for your brothers. Adam doesnt know what you do with your grandfather and that's okay because every daughter rebels at some point

i went INSANEEEEE OVER THIS ASK. i basically built a whole backstory about this i’m unwell. this takes place in my mind in like a human/modern au wiejdnweidunweidundewiundwenijwdenijwed

bro okay. okay. okay. basically:

in my mind in that specific scenario the backstory is like: eve cheats and leaves adam as a single dad of three. he’s losing it of course 😭 reader since she’s the girl gets burdened at a young age of running the household. parentification and emotional incest until it escalates to straight up incest 😭 adam over sharing about his hook up and how horrible woman and everything else is like thanks you’re 13

cain and able (cain more) riddled with mommy issues and adam hating everyone and everything 😭 favourite deadbeat

who needs woman when you have a cute daughter actually

adam doesn’t care about annoying complaints. you should be thankful he preps you before fucking you with his thick cock. maybe if you don’t want to be treated like his wife you shouldn’t act like that smh

cain and able UGGGHHHH

cain to one up adam takes readers anal virginity since adam took the actual thing. very rough, very kinky, surprised at the end why adam doesn’t let him fuck his sister ofzen and the poor thing is covered in a worrying amount of bruises, bite marks, scratches and hickeyys

cain desperately wants like matching tattoos with reader isdhiashd all three siblings attend the same college and live at home. cain and able live at home because reader isn’t allowed to move out and they can’t let their father win

cain in my mind dates around and he’s HORRIBLEEE to other girls. he’s yearning for his little sister but adam is so vigilant 😒 he needs relief somewhere

able sweet boy….fr nobody tell adam about his cuck son IHSQSSHIQIJ the most sub one. feels bad for reader so let’s her ride him however she likes and lives with his face buried inbetween those thighs. he’s a bit horrible in that he uses the excuse of his non confrontational behaviour to get off to the noises of reader being nonconded by their father and brother lmaooo

adam calling his daughter rebellious and all she wants to do is wear crop tops, move out, doesn’t want a curfew, as an adult college student. how dare you even think about leaving??? loses his mind over everything. he’s so insufferable

GRANDFATHER CHUCK!! WHY DID I NEVER THINK OF THAT AAAAAAAA my ovaries……reader is fr his fave. the best thing adam has ever done, according to chuck lmao. adam low-key jealous of his daughter like he’s on thin ice with his dad and reader just has to sneeze and chuck is all over her ihshuashijas

it’s totally non of adam’s buismess what reader and chuck get up to in private. it doesn’t really matter, as long as it’s kept in the family. he doesn’t visit that often, he’s busy after all, but it has been more since reader reached that sweet adult age lmao. reader majors in what chuck wanted to keep that favourite status hasidhsu

reader has rh4 choice to move out of adam’s home into chucks but chuck is much much stricter. it’d be a worse prison, but she’d have to just keep one guy happy…..

i just imagine reader harbours a lot of resentment against eve. like she left you in that house, with that man. sure, he’s your father and in some twisted way you love him but still. maybe this whole mess could’ve been prevented

and adam and eve trying to date again SUHAUSHUWS poor reader happy to just be left alone now hopefully?? and adam still makes his way into readers bedroom and i just imagine reader straight up decks adam in the face

the whole house wakes up to adam over the sink his nose bleeding with reader unhappily holding a rag in her hand. eve is worried and fussing over adam and reader is like „he tripped >:(" able and cain immediately know what’s up and poor eve confused and worryied

cain wants to high five reader so bad and he straight up laughs in adam’s face. wraps his arm around reader all provoking and able rubs readers arm in comfort DHISIJSSWISJ

it doesn’t take long for adam to break up with eve and return you both were you belong: entangled in the sheets

[sophswritingthings]

ruin my life -- chapter 1

| warning(s): light swearing |

| a/n: modern mizu had such a grip on me, and now were here. |

| summary: an overlook into mizu's life before you enter it. |

| song rec: ruin my life -- zolita (for the story, in general) |

| word count: 776 words / 4,211 characters |

______________________________________________________________

mizu always kept to herself, she was never the loud type. always played a background role, even if people thought she should be in the spotlight.

never had she believed that before she met eiji.

eiji was an alumni at her school.. one of the many famous actors the school had produced. the amount of actors they had produced is why she really wanted to go to the school, in the first place.

and meeting him kind of changed her whole perception of her own talent, of her own mind. if someone who was so great could tell her all these great things about herself, they were true, surely.

"listen here, kid, nobody ever did anything by sitting on their ass and never getting anything done," he furrowed his eyebrows as they walked side by side, through the halls of the marbled school. "I know that better than anyone. you remind me of myself, when I went here."

she arched one eyebrow, "how come? im.. nothing like you, I mean.. you're this great actor and im just.. a college student who can barley pay their own tuition."

he gently gripped her shoulder, nodding, "exactly. do you think I was some great guy while I was in college? I didn't come from riches, kid, I could barley pay for this college when I was your age."

she adverted her gaze, a little sigh leaving her lips, "suppose that's true," mizu mumbled.

"and ive heard you do fencing," he tapped his cane against the ground, "as did i."

"oh--yeah. yeah, I know," a small smile crossed her lips. "its part of the reason I wanted to start. sort of, I guess."

"its a noble practice," he nodded, smiling a bit. "may I request to meet you, again, mizu? after your classes, tomorrow."

her eyes widened, gazing at him. someone as great as him, wanted anything to do with them?

"um, uh, yes." she stammered, "I'll meet you here."

and from then on, that's what they'd do. hours turned into days, and days turned into weeks that she would meet eiji for both fencing practice, and acting/college advice.

eiji was basically the father she had never had, someone to inspire her, push her forward.

her college life had improved, a little. not by much, but a little. she still lived in a small-ass college dorm with three other girls, sharing two sets of bunk beds in the room the size of a walk in closet.

"mizu? hey?" one of the girls, carrie, seemed to take an interest in her early. and of course, she had settled on the top bunk of mizu's bed. the girl popped down, swinging her head over mizu's bed. "you doin' anything tomorrow? me and some friends were going out and--"

mizu's head had almost immediately blocked out any word she said. she didn't want anything to do with this girl, nor what she was offering. she seemed to be the kind of girl to cling and never leave, and she was not about that. she'd come home crying over some new girl every week, she could guess, crying that they said she was "too clingy".

"uh--yeah. im working," mizu hissed, never looking up from her phone.

that wasn't a lie, actually, she had work at her average pay job as a barista. she had been working there ever since she got accepted into the college, how else would she pa her tuition?

not that it helped, much, it wasn't the best pay ever. and her tuition was more than 50,000 dollars a year--she was going to be in debt for more days than she thought she could count. but if she managed (and hopefully she would, with eijis help) to get a good gig, or few, she could pay it off in no time.

the coffee shop wasn't too bad, though. customers were usually quiet, besides the few that would come in every so often. she'd get okay tips, considering she tried to be as respectful as she could.

she had her friends. none of which attended the same school--they all had different majors. whom she considered her best friend, akemi, was in harvard law school miles away from them. taigen had gotten into law school, too, just not the same. (he definitely wasn't smart enough for harvard, that's for sure.) and ringo, the sweet culinary major she'd met going out for drinks, one night, with akemi. he was a mixologist, and despite his lack of hands--he was a wonderful one.

her life was calm. her life was quiet.

there was never anything absolutely interesting, about it.

that was--until you walked into it.

______________________________________________________________

[ghostybat00]

✧OLDERS.⁠✧

(✿⁠)Carlos Oliveira yandere and Leon Kennedy yandere sugar daddys(✿⁠)

Au: reader universitary.

Fem reader.

You were just a college student, young, with a pretty decent economy.That's what you thought until paying for the university where you study was more expensive every day, it was a lot of rent, exams, classes, dormitories and a lot of shit that you didn't even know you had to pay. You were lying in your bed in the middle of the night, you were on your computer trying to find a way to make money,you had your hair in a messy bun, a pair of shorts and a big shirt like pajamas.You were searching everywhere, posts, requests, advertisements, but they all asked for experience of up to at least 10 years,This was ridiculous and you were very stressed.It got to the point where you just clicked on anything in the hope that you could work to keep up with the payments.

"click!"

One page of...Sugar daddies..? Okay, you definitely didn't expect to get this far, you scanned the page, was this really the only way out?You knew that if you didn't get money you couldn't continue studying, you bit your lip thoughtfully, you scrolled through the profiles, until you found one that caught your attention. Apparently they were 2 adult men. In the photo there was a man of approximately 37 years old. Blonde, with short hair,Blue eyes like the ocean, a marked jaw and a look... that you didn't know how to describe, but there was something about it. And the other man,approximately 38 years old, somewhat tan skin, beard and messy black hair, Compared to the blonde man he looked more flirtatious.

Carlos Oliveira and

Leon Scott Kennedy.

You were even more surprised when the descriptions were based on the fact that the blonde-haired man, Leon Kennedy, was a survivor of Raccon City and serves the government, and the other, Carlos Oliveira, an Umbrella mercenary with a troubled past.

"These guys must make millions" You think.You checked the description again, they don't ask for a specific requirement, what if...? No! You should to find a decent job! You had an argument in your head with yourself.

"hell, well, I'm just going to post a photo and that's it. Let's see what happens." Little did you know that that day you would awaken something deep inside 2 men on that app.

You stood in the mirror of the room, you changed a little for the photo, you changed into a somewhat short black dress, tennis shoes and some natural makeup, and you posted them on the website, you changed again and you simply went to sleep without having much expectations.

The morning was rainy, you sighed as you looked out the window of your college dorm,You did the same routine, shower and eat breakfast, you walk to the campus while you couldn't help but think about tuition. Time was running out and you had to pay for it to continue studying, while you walked you took out your phone to try to distract yourself, a notification from that sugar daddy page, You were surprised when the same profile you saw yesterday added a heart to the photo you had uploaded of yourself.Accompanied with the message of that Carlos Oliveira.

"Hey sweet thing, Do you mind if we talk a little?"

From that day on you had conversations with that Carlos Oliveira, later you also started talking to Leon Kennedy, anyway they were the 2 guys in the profile on that page,You found them very pleasant, since instead of jumping to the obscene part they talked with you, the conversations were enjoyable that you even forgot that they were on a sugar daddy page, until one day, on Friday, when you were leaving the university, You saw a luxurious car in the parking lot, you ignored him until you heard your name from that car. Was it Leon Kennedy?!, oh yeah, you forgot you had shared your problem with money with them via chat, you definitely didn't expect them to take it seriously. You approached the car nervously...

"hello y/n, How nice to be able to see you in person, I'm Leon Kennedy, if you remember?"

"hello Leon,I didn't expect to see you here..." "see us" You heard a voice in the back seat, Carlos Oliveira looking at you with a flirtatious smile, as he got out of the car to help you with your backpack, he opens the door so you can go in the passenger seat,but not before giving you a big bear hug that almost left you breathless. "Get in, don't be shy" Leon says with a slight smile. You sat in the passenger seat, nervous, Leon noticed this and gave you a small reassuring smile. They had a conversation with you, they agreed to help you pay for college, which you thanked them for and you felt relieved, Of course, you obviously knew what kind of page you met them on, but you had no choice but to agree to be "they sugar baby."

They treated you very well, you spent time in their luxurious house, Of course, you noticed that every time you talked to a classmate at the university they ended up moving away or in the worst cases disappearing, this scared you so you looked for comfort in them. They loved this, you were so naive, young and innocent, They always pampered you with the best gifts, little by little you spent more time at their house than in yours,and they always found an excuse to make you spend the night with them for weeks or even a month, they were very sweet but it was strange how everyone avoided talking to you if they saw you with them, also overprotective measures,They insisted that you give them your exact location every time you went to university, normal things like knowing when you left, until strangely sending you a message at the exact time you left each class. You knew this was getting out of control, but they were 2 adult men, tall, and experienced in weapons and combat, You know they would never hurt you, but this gave you chills, just as they always liked to be around you, You always had eyes on you, an arm on your hip or your waist. Leon was very protective, he was the one who noticed those overprotection tendencies the most. On the other hand, Carlos was more of a possessive person, as he joked that you were going to be his only one. But they were both equally obsessed.

One of those days you were about to leave the house because it was time to go to university, you felt hands on you, Leon says with his deep voice. "Where are you going, my sweet girl?"

"Leon, it's late, I need to run to the university -" "Why don't you stay a little longer? You've worked hard, rest a little with us." Says leon softly but with that overprotective tone as he hugs you with his tall and imposing figure behind you. His eyes soften"but"- You couldn't finish why he carried you towards the kitchen where Carlos was making breakfast, "doll, Leon is right, you should stay a little longer." Carlos says while cooking and the delicious smell of waffles fills the room. "Look, I really appreciate what You two have done for me but I can't continue missing days at university-" You couldn't even finish why Leon put you on his lap, wrapping his muscular arms around you and giving you a kiss on the cheek. "Look doll, what's more important, the university or us?,We don't want that university to take our baby from us, right?" Carlos joked with his humor as always, but you felt that there was a hint of seriousness in that. Carlos serves breakfast and brings the fork closer to your mouth, His eyes gave warmth but obsession at the same time.

This was getting out of hand, but what Will You do...?

[vargskelegore]

heyoo!! could we get a fic where transfer student!shuri realizes u mostly eat struggle meals like ramen n the occasional hamburger helper n since you feel bad abt her taking you out to eat a decent meal everyday she learns how to cook w you 💪🏾

author's note: NO BECAUSE THIS IDEA IS SOOOO CUTE. i'm always eating a damn struggle meal so this is relatable af. ramen gang for the win tho.

cake boss, who? - hbcu!shuri x black!reader

requests: open to headcanons & imagines!

on campus, for lunch, you usually ate ramen. no, not maruchan-- that shit was below your standards. nongshim. the more superior budget ramen. although, even that shit wasn’t really healthy for you.

it was a common experience-- being a college student and being broke since you were either unemployed, or your job paid so bad you might as well be unemployed.

you were lucky that sometimes your rich roommate would pay for you to eat because she wanted to- but since she was always gone, going on dates with random dudes on campus, it wasn’t often you ate something she got you.

honestly, shuri took you out to eat more times than you could count (AS FRIENDS.... i guess?), but you felt really bad about taking her money and food all the time. it wasn’t like they were michelin star restaurants, just stuff like ihop, waffle house, panera bread.. they were luxury to you, though.

on one of the days you were cooking shin ramyun, there was a familiar knock on your door. shuri. shuri developed this knock based off of drum beats they would do back in her home country, and it was something she did on your door to remind herself of home, and also let you know her arrival.

“the door is open!” you called out, attempting to keep the amount of smoke down because if you even had it float a little too high, that alarm was gonna get you, and your cooking in the dorm days would be over.

as soon as shuri walked in, she could smell you cooking the same thing, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms.

“every time i walk in here, not only are you cooking, it’s always that high sodium trash.” shuri looked around the room as she walked inside.

“yeah well, it’s at the local neighborhood walmart, and it’s like six bucks for a pack of them.” you shrugged as you pushed the noodles around with your chopsticks.

“..is the meals i get you not enough?” there was a hint of panic in shuri’s voice -- one thing about her was that she always tried hard, but for you, she went beyond that. she wasn’t exactly sure why she was like that.

noticing what shuri said, you cut her off so quick. “no! i love the places you take me, but.. i don’t want you to spend money on me like that..” your voice got quiet at the end, and that’s when shuri walked over to you, staring down at you.

“nonsense, it’s barely anything.. i’m willing to spend enough to keep you well fed. i think it’s stupid how american university tuition just uses up so much money that you have to live off of cheaply made factory food.” shuri could go on a rant about this, and you could tell she had been bottling that opinion up for a while.

“i don’t disagree, but this is my life, shuri.” you sighed in defeat as you turned around to drain the water.

shuri got directly behind you, hands in her pockets. when you turned back around, you were met with her being right in front of you.

“then let me try something different. let’s cook together.” there was hope in her voice as she stared down at you. your hand, which was being occupied by your ramen pot, slightly began shaking.

“i, uh..”

“please? i think you can make a good meal without using so much money, if that’s what you’re worried about.” her voice was gentle, and god, how could you say no to that voice? hell, it was practically begging.

after a moment of silence, you nodded.

shuri’s face lit up as she took the pot from your hand, pouring the sauceless noodles into the trash. you were a bit shocked that she did that so quickly.

“shuri, that was my lunch--!”

“hush, we’re gonna make a better lunch together.”

ever since that moment, you two started making food together. learning how to cook cheap and tasty food was a bit of a challenge, but you both managed to deal with it.

you two made everything together. pasta, soup, fancy ass sandwiches, and so much more. for you, seeing shuri in an apron when you guys were baking was the cutest thing ever.

powder all over her face, squealing when a certain ingredient got all over her. it was adorable and it melted your heart.

there was nothing more you enjoyed than the company of shuri.

on one of the days you two were baking, you both decided to bake a cake this time. nobody told y'all it would take a while, but honestly, that was probably because you two were goofing off instead of baking which made it take longer.

as you were mixing the buttercream frosting mixture together, shuri sighed in annoyance.

"crap, i forgot my phone.. i'm gonna go get it, i'll be right back. don't eat the frosting. i'm serious."

you held your hands up in surrender before nodding. mentally you were smirking, because you were gonna eat it anyway.

as soon as she left, you waited about 20 seconds before sticking your finger into the bowl and taking a taste.

a few tastes turned into more tastes. and more. but it wasn't enough to make it look like it wasn't enough for icing.

as soon as you could hear shuri coming back, you immediately went back to mixing, whistling a bit as you didn't acknowledge her presence out of guilt of eating it.

"..y/n? i'm back." shuri raised an eyebrow at you as she walked back over to where she originally was.

you hummed before muttering out a quick "hi." and went back to doing what you were doing.

shuri, being the suspicious person she was, crossed her arms and just stared at you. you could feel her stare but you tried so hard to make it seem like you didn't care.

"y/n. turn around for me, real quick?"

"but i'm mixing.. i can't get distracted." you lied, realizing your once rhythm on mixing suddenly became very irregular.

shuri didn't say a word before pulling you from the mixing station and over to where she was standing. you tried covering your face, but she was quick to make you uncover.

that's when she saw it.

she brought a thumb to your face, wiping off something on the corner of your mouth, and licking it off her own thumb.

"that tastes really good, but damn, y/n, you could've lied a little better, no?" it was icing. she had a teasing grin on her face as she watched you become visibly embarrassed. all she could do was laugh as she went to grab the frosting and begin icing the cake.

you were stunned, to say the least. what were you gonna do with this girl?

[docholligay]

Doc if you were a lit professor, how would you handle a student who was clearly using AI for their assignments?

I mean, I would not be a lit professor for a number of reasons, but the proliferation of people thinking they can use AI because it doesn't matter if they learn anything is one of them. Sure, let's make the paper ceiling even easier to attain for people who have mommy and daddy to pay their tuition. A degree just means your family has fucking money now, who gives a shit. I mean, even NOW, I've met people with English degrees who make me go, 'I understand why everyone thinks of this as a puff degree."

So the answer is "I would never enter education despite loving to teach people about literature" but if I was in the Saw trap that is academia for some reason, I would make sure I could prove it before I entered on this journey. And there are ways to prove it. I am not going to say any of them, lest people attempt to find ways around them. And no, I am not talking about "AI filters" or whatever, I am talk about pretty simple ways to both catch and prove that merely require your dean to be onboard. I hope people who use AI to write papers get expelled and know that they are stupid.

But honestly, I would make it so papers aren't worth much of the grade. What is worth a lot? 1) Class discussion 2) essay tests done in class time--anyone sitting here saying "But I can't write with my haaaaaaaand" fantastic, the college I attended had a computer lab a class could take over. I am happy to pull each ethernet cable and sit you on down for an hour or so. and 3) what a professor of mine did that I LOVED: You come into the office and have a discussion about the book. You can bring any notes, any theories, any anything, but he could also ask you any questions about the book. So easy to tell if you've read it or not, and if you've thought about it or not.

But I would never enter academia, ever.

[opertabry]

| notes; prologue

[ synopsis; there’s a cute girl that always sleeps in your intro pysch class. she just so happens to be ginger AND your dorm neighbor ]

PROLOGUE;

I watched as she plopped herself on the chair again. Everyday for the past two semesters this girl, without fail, would sit right next to the window, two seats down from where I sat. She always looked tired, dark bags under her eyes, she would always walk into the lecture hall and sit down on that window seat and rest her head on her arms and sleep. I mean, come on, who pays this much for tuition and just walks into class to what? Rest your eyes? It's literally 2 in the afternoon.

No one took notice to her or seemed to care, honestly I don't think anyone cared about the class either (to be fair, it was intro psychology). I did though, even with the dark bags, the baggy hoodie, she was cute. As cute as a college student, who wanted nothing but to die, can be I guess. She never took notes in class, I figured she would be fine failing the class, so who cares right? Now, tell me why in the world am I feeling slightly bad for her as I write my notes down?

I watched as (I'm not creepy, trust me) her hood rode up slightly, exposing her newly dyed ginger hair to me. Ginger? Really? All the colors in the world, all the dyes that you could have chosen and this cute girl that I don't even know the name of, chose ginger? Like, come on cute girl, I liked you more when you were dirty blonde.

"Alright, guys, I can tell you're all very tired. You did a good job, let's pack it up."

A few relieved groans and a rushed stuffing my stuff in my bag later, I was out of the lecture hall and breathing in the fresh air as I walked towards my dorm. I froze as I saw cute girl punching in her code to her dorm. Okay pause, first off, how in the world did this girl get to her dorm faster than me? I was quite literally the first person to get out of that godforsaken lecture hall. And two, cute girl is my dorm neighbor? What in the literal fuck?

I put in my dorm code, swung the door wide open and slammed it shut with my eyes looking like saucers. My dorm mate, Hanni, was laying on the couch with TV remote in hand, while looking at me amused.

"Hanni FUCKING PHAM."

"WHAT? DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG?"

"Cute girl. Cute girl from intro psych. Next door. Ginger. WHAT THE FUCK."

"y/n calm your ASS down and tell me, with sentences, minimum 5th grade level. Can you do that for me, sweetie?" Hanni mockingly said, while sitting up.

"Okay I hate you, but remember cute girl I told you about? Always sleeps, hood on? From my intro psych class?"

"Mhm."

"She dyed her hair ginger AND she lives in dorm next to us? It's been literally TWO semesters, how have I not seen her?" I said, shock evident in my voice.

"Wait, wait. Does she look or act like the epitome of happiness, sunshine and rainbows?"

"What the fuck, no? She sleeps in class."

"Oh my god. Cute girl is Kang Haerin?"

"..Who?"

Hanni was about to open her mouth when we heard a knock on the door. We rolled our eyes as we assumed it was those frat boys who were playing ding dong ditch like little kids. We ignored it as I told Hanni to continue, and we heard another knock. I groaned as I pushed myself away from the couch and went to open the door.

"Hi! You must be my dorm neighbor, sorry, my name is Danielle!" She greeted with a weirdly happy, too happy look on her face for a broke college student that is most likely in debt.

"Oh Danielle! Hi, what brings you over here?" Hanni smiled as she walked up behind me.

"Nothing much, I just heard some yelling over here and wanted to check in on you guys. You're both alright, right?" She asked a worried expression plaguing her face.

"Yep, we were just really excited." I breathed out with a (not so) genuine smile.

"Alright, well. y/n right? Hanni told me and Haerin about you, it's nice to finally meet you! I'll get going now, Haerin wanted me to grab some things from the convenience store for her." Danielle waved as she left, not forgetting to smile (so hard I thought her face was about to combust. How does someone smile so much in college? Respect to her though).

I closed the door as I turned to Hanni with the fakest smile I could muster.

"You weren't kidding, huh?"

"Yep, sunshine and rainbows and fucking everything in between."

I mean at least I can put a name to a face now. Haerin. Kang Haerin. Cute name for a cute girl.

I guess.

[ previous | masterlist | next ]

[griffonsgrove]

OC || Introductions

hello my darlings!! I've really been wanting to introduce a few of my main characters to you all!! I was thinking of possibly doing headcanons/oneshots/drabbles in the future! (May be purely self-indulgent but we'll see) That being said, This is basically a very brief intro and info dump about each character. So let's get started!!

All characters and art belong to me!! Like I've said before I'm an artist and draw scenes and characters. I have a shit ton of art of all these guys that I'd love to share if anyone's ever interested!

cw: death, murder, cannibalism? minor sexual themes (one of my ocs is an incubus), minor violence.

Night

I've had her the longest, I made her several years ago. She's literally just a self-insert for EVERYTHING I enjoy sshejwka. But on another note! This is Night, she's a humanoid griffin hybrid (griffins being the mythological beast, half eagle half lion). She's very sweet and friendly. She's so mom-coded omg. Like she'll bake you little treats, makes sure your dressed for the weather, and reminds you of things you need to get done.

She has this locket around her neck that she keeps close to her. This is because it contains her "soul" or "spirit" inside of it. Every griffon has one, and it's what helps her to transform. Which btw shapeshifterrrr. Her true form being that of an actual griffin. She's a gentle giant though don't worry.

Tom

I know what you're thinking and no, he's not related to Bill Cipher. Tom is a 25-year-old art college student. He's a no-nonsense kind of guy, and very easily irritated. He's a fine arts major and does a lot of painting. He HATES his roommate (there's literally nothing wrong with him he's so nice and friendly, tom is just a dick). He's got a pet snake!! He's a hognose named Poncho! He's a total stonerrrrrrr, it's the only time he'll be chill honestly.

He and his roommate live in a city style apartment, on the first floor, complete with a basement. Unbeknownst to his roommate, Tom has a secret black market business selling organs to dealers. The basement is where he does all the harvesting, it strictly prohibited for anyone to go down there. It makes hella money though, which he uses to help pay his tuition (art college is expensive!)

Orphan btw. His mom is Night actually (an adoptive relationship) She loves and cares about him very much, the same goes for him. He usually acts more behaved if she's around.

Roman

Roman is, well he's a--thing?? creature?? I haven't decided in all honesty but he's dangerous. He travels all across the country, making sure to be well hidden. He's a serial killer oop. His signature weapon being a bowie knife. Bros got some major sadistic and animalistic tendencies. Eats his victims btw. He can't rly show his face in public, and the mans gotta eat right??

He likes to hunt. His victims are essentially "prey" to him, and he does so enjoy the thrill of a chase. He's got a looooooong tongue (as you can see) he's accidently bitten it once or twice with those sharp teeth of his. Has a tail as well, yk what espeons tail looks like? yea it's like that. His ears are sensitive btw he doesn't like them being touched.

Can never stay in one spot for too long, constantly on the move, he's got great stamina and can run for quite a long time.

Damien

WOOO. RUFFmEOW. BIG STRONG MAN LETS GO RAGHHH. ya so this is Damien. As you can tell I love him very much and I'm so very normal about him. He's an incubussss (sex demon basically). Literal definition of a Himbo. He's a big beefy guy who's wholesome and sweet, despite his line of work.

Super flirty, and also hypersexual. It's what he feeds off of, and how he regenerates and gets his magic. which btw, he can be summoned!

He's got a looot of body hair, happy trail for dayysss! Also has a bunch of peircings, snake bites on his face, and nipple peircings on his pecks. He's got numerous scars littered all over his body too. He's really sweet an attentive, as well as respectful! What more could you want in a man??

Alecto

BIG WOMAN. she's literally just my "villain" version of Night, however she's not a self-insert. I gave her, her own story and lore. She's the main antagonist in an animated series I'm creating. Her name is based of the Mythological woman "Alecto" Who was a fury of the underworld, she symbolizes rage and spreads it across the world.

She's very quick to anger. "hot-headed" (Pun-intended). The back of her hair is literally fire, and it can grow and change depending on her mood. Those gauntlets on her arms are strong AF and razor sharp, you do not want to get on her bad side. Ngl, she kinda feral at times, yk how Miguel O'Hara literally ran on all fours to chase after Miles Morales??? Yea she does that.

She's evil muehahshegsh, but also classy. She's also really tall!!! like about 8'6'' DAYUM. she'll crush you.

--------------------------------------------------------

annnndd thats a wrap!! These are the main Oc's that I adore and use on a regular basis, they each hold a special place in my heart. I rly would love to do occasional drabbles or head canons with my babies at some point, but I'm not sure anyone would read/enjoy them 😭

Nevertheless, I do hope you enjoyed my small ramble about these guys, as you can see, I'm totally normal about them.

Oh!!! and if you're ever wanting any more of my art just lmk!! I mainly post my writing on this blog, but if y'all wanna see, I can def show!!

[red-the-dragon-writes]

Fishing Habits

Summary:

“I know what you’re doing,” Dan said without preamble. “Huh?” Jay said. “Oh, right. I know you work for the school, but I didn’t think you’d be that much of a hardass.” “What?” Dan said. Jay paused, looking Dan over for a moment. “Actually, what are you talking about? I don’t think we’re on the same page.” “With the fish,” Dan clarified. Jay raised the odd ridges of flesh over his eyes that functioned as eyebrows. “I’m mer, you asshole. I can talk to them. They told me what fucked-up shit you’ve been pulling. What’s your problem?” “Sometimes I get hungry,” Jay said. “Can I see your notes now?”

Dan is an ordinary merman-pretending-to-be-a-human. Jay is... something else entirely. He seems like a really pleasant guy, except for how freaked out all the fish are. And Dan's college has just opened a new aquarium...

On Ao3 here.

There was an understanding, which had been in place as long as Dan could remember, that meant that one must not reveal the existence of The Supernatural to human society, and if one did the people they made the reveal to needed to be dealt with in some way—sworn to secrecy, brought into the fold of the Oceanic, or even, at absolutely worst, killed. Dan didn’t want to deal with it. There was a lot of paperwork involved in fucking up the order of things, and it was a huge hassle, and also there was a lot of risk involved. It wasn’t like Dan had any real need to reveal he’d grown up under the Pacific rather than in it, anyway. And his parents were living off the coast of Oregon now anyway, so he didn’t even have to do that much lying about it. It was easy and he kept it well under wraps.

He did five years of field work before they told him they were going to require him to come back to the university and teach at a handful of classes before he’d be allowed back out into the field or he’d lose his position, which also meant losing most of his source of funding and the grant he was working with. They offered to let him teach it remotely, of course—the department chair apologizing profusely the entire time—but Dan was doing altogether too much of the work from six hundred feet below the surface of the Atlantic and that just wouldn’t work out. No way to maintain The Secret. Instead he resigned himself to another few years living on land and away from the fishes, rented an apartment, and returned to Spokane to teach two sessions of classes about saltwater ecology in the Pacific to incoming students and one class on field work to older biology majors. Oh well. At least he could visit home on the weekends.

Since his own research was put on pause and the college did promise to pay for his tuition, Dan opted to take a handful of classes, too. What else was he going to do? He was still in touch with the rest of the field crew, and when they finally started writing, sure, he’d refocus onto that, but at the moment he wasn’t going to be of any help. And in one of the classes was a gray man.

You weren’t allowed to do that, but he was doing it. Dan was perfectly certain that there were laws against being out in the open with visibly-discolored flesh across all the major out-of-sight jurisdictions, and he was also pretty sure the Sideways Court was still offering free glamours for anyone who desperately needed into human society and also could prove beyond a reasonable doubt that they couldn’t just change their colors themselves, though Dan had also heard that the paperwork to prove either was a nightmare and the Sideways Court sounded just kind of awful to boot.  The Oceanic North-Pacific Authority was a lot better in a lot of ways. God knew applying for his visa was a nightmare of bureaucracy. But the point was: the gray man was openly flouting the rules. And worse than just being gray alone, he also had horns. His fingernails were blue, his teeth were sharp and needle-shaped, and his eyes had no pupils, just scleras and black centers that looked like hollow glass marbles. He had ripples crisscrossing his skin like vines growing just beneath the surface, and though Dan couldn’t be sure, he thought his body was a weird consistency, too, that he bent further than Dan expected when he bumped into things or wore a heavy bag over his shoulders. There was no way his appearance was legal. Dan felt for him, because it had to be difficult doing all that, but it wasn’t allowed. He’d probably get in trouble for just being around it, if someone came and found out and reported the guy and Dan hadn’t said anything.

Still. Dan had to respect it. And it was interesting to see how fast the other students got used to Jay and his gray skin and his horns and his eerie pupil-less eyes. Honestly, Dan was kind of disappointed in himself. His initial anxiety was unfair, wasn’t it? It was the laws that were unfair. Human society clearly wasn’t the problem it was cracked up to be.

Eventually Dan worked up the courage to tell Jay that he was mer. He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting. Jay had just nodded, shrugged, and said, “Cool.” That was it. And, honestly, as far as Dan was concerned, that was plenty. He didn’t need to be friends with a twenty-something nonconformist—or however old Jay was; he hadn’t asked, really—and just because they were both in the same class didn’t mean anything, really. They knew each other’s names, and Jay occasionally asked Dan for notes. That was plenty.

-

Dan wasn’t much of a partier and he wasn’t much of a night owl, and he didn’t’ spend a lot of time out of the house. What he did was usually at a river somewhere. Spokane was gorgeous and full of lively fish, and by virtue of his heritage Dan could chat. Fish didn’t usually have a lot to talk about, but something had them in a tizzy when Dan finally made it out to his favorite spot, and they were particularly anxious to tip him off.

At first, he couldn’t make heads or tails of why it mattered to him that someone had developed new lures (aside from how his job was kind of to keep an eye on what people were doing with his rivers and all). But it came together eventually. Jay had something weird about him. He’d started coming to the water just like Dan had—here and elsewhere—and chatting, just like Dan had. And Dan had lured them into a sense of security. They should’ve been secure, talking! Even when Dan was hungry he didn’t eat the fish he talked to! But to talk to Jay was dangerous. Fish that talked to Jay too long vanished. And he had strange lures, luminescent sweet blue worms that made fish dizzy and sick if they bit them off and which moved even when torn apart until they were eaten. The fish insisted, almost en masse, that this strange gray man who chatted up their waters was bad news, and on the whole they badly wanted Dan to find him and make him cut it out.

Dan didn’t even know what to make of it at first. He asked question after question, trying to understand what they meant first and then after to try to ensure they weren’t actually talking about his classmate. The fish were convinced he was unfathomably ancient, even though he was taking first-year classes. But it became too clear that they were the same person after not long at all. A handful even had his name to relay, and even though they pronounced it a little differently, there was no question that he was the same person with the same name. Brazen.

The fish generally knew what predation was and it—well, it bothered them, sure, but it was an understood way of life, and they knew Dan himself ate fish and was part of human society where fishing was done. They’d never come to ask him to put an end to regular fishing before. The first and last time any of them had banded together like this, it was six fish, and they wanted him to handle a chemical mess that he’d been almost completely useless about. The fact that he had nearly forty fish across a whole host of species asking him to put a stop to Jay’s hunting meant that something about that guy was very, very off.

At least, when it came to the fish.

Still, Dan didn’t want to jump to conclusions. Maybe he was just a weirdo. But he had access to most of the college labs, and there were fishtanks in several buildings, and so—nervously and feeling like he certainly looked a bit out of his mind—he went around, talking to the fish there. He didn’t like what he found. All the fish knew Jay. There was no doubt he could and did talk to them, often at odd hours when the fish said that they were typically bored, which meant he was on campus late at night and early in the morning sneaking in to talk with them. Several tanks were apparently head-over-heels charmed. Others, these fewer and further between and, Dan noted after a short while poking around, more likely to have deaths in the fish population waved off than more carefully-managed tanks, told Dan nervously that Jay wasn’t what he seemed. That he had been charming and pleasant and had these magnificent worm lures that they’d never seen before, and then without warning he’d coaxed one of them into his hands and ate them, just like that.

These were domestic fishes, indoor fish. Pets, practically. It was alien to them that a person would do that, and it scared them. But it didn’t seem Jay would willingly strike too many times in the same place, rotating tanks out at random. And what for? Sometimes, they said, he’d come back, and chat like nothing had happened even though they all saw him kill one of their number without a thought. There was something wrong with him. Dan, if Dan knew him, should be cautious.

These fish didn’t seem to understand that there was a world of difference between eating a human (or a mer, really) and eating a goldfish, but Dan promised to take the warning under advisement anyway.  

-

Upon the day that Dan decided to confront Jay about his weird, creepy fish-eating behavior, several interesting things happened.

The first was simple. A colleague from the Environmental Sciences branch had invited him to downtown Spokane for no clear reason just before when Dan typically took his lunch. Alicia had been a close friend when Dan was doing his dissertation and she was currently working on her own postdoc research a little ways outside Spokane, just far enough from where Dan lived that they only got together so often. She told him that it was a surprise, and ot to look anything up about the location, so he obligingly didn’t.

It turned out to be an aquarium. More than that, it was an aquarium owned and run jointly by the college and a handful of others, and while it was still in the final stages before opening, Dan—by virtue of his employment with the school and his own degree focus in fish care and fish wellness—was welcome back whenever, provided he told them what he was doing and didn’t meddle unexpectedly. They wanted him to give his thoughts on a couple of tanks. And the tanks were fascinating. For some reason, whoever had done the design of the building had had a vision and they’d executed it; the tanks looked like classrooms-turned-reefs, replicas of desks and tables cast in plaster and then given coral to grow over them, furnished with lighting that looked like fluorescent strip lights in classrooms and even sometimes sporting false windows out to the street. And all the while, inside, sharks and huge groupers and small brightly-colored reef fish and schooling fish and others besides serenely went about their business. It was inspired, it really was. His parents would’ve gotten such a kick out of it.

Alicia had shown him around, and then they’d gotten food.  It was a very nice afternoon, all things told.

The second was less pleasant. Just as he and Alicia were going their separate ways, Dan got an email from the school about a missing student, a request for more information if anyone had any. They had last been seen about a week before, and their car had just turned up abandoned at Lake Wenatchee, a state park a little ways outside Spokane. Dan hadn’t seen that happen before. Unfortunate, but not anyone he knew. He filed it away mentally and had pretty much stopped thinking about it by the time he got back to his apartment.

The third, and most objectively inconsequential, was that his first afternoon class had been canceled. His professor had come down with the flu.  

And, finally, though they didn’t have class together today, Jay had called Dan and asked to meet with him. Evidently Jay had missed a lecture, or maybe several, and wanted to see Dan’s notes. The timing was just right.

“I know what you’re doing,” Dan said without preamble.

“Huh?” Jay said.  “Oh, right. I know you work for the school, but I didn’t think you’d be that much of a hardass.”

“What?” Dan said.

Jay paused, looking Dan over for a moment. “Actually, what are you talking about? I don’t think we’re on the same page.”

“With the fish,” Dan clarified. Jay raised the odd ridges of flesh over his eyes that functioned as eyebrows. “I’m mer, you asshole. I can talk to them. They told me what fucked-up shit you’ve been pulling. What’s your problem?”

“Sometimes I get hungry,” Jay said. “Can I see your notes now?”

“Sometimes you get hungry?” Dan echoed. It took him a moment to remember how to form sentences properly. “Go to the—fucking—there are vending machines all over campus, there’s a cafeteria, you’re an underclassmen, don’t you have a meal plan—you get hungry? Hungry?”

Jay looked at Dan as though he were completely unimpressed and completely unmoved. “Okay. Can I see your notes now?”

Dan took a deep breath. “Jay, I’m here on behalf of the fish to ask you to cut the shit.”

“Huh,” Jay said. “Are you, like, going to let me see your notes, or was this just, you know, pretext to yell at me?”

Dan sighed, pulling his knapsack around to see if he could find his notebook. “No. As much as I think the way that you’ve started going after these fish is creepy as all fuck, I don’t really want your grades to suffer. Stop eating the fish.”

Jay shrugged. “I guess I can go out of campus and—”

“No,” Dan said, cutting him off. “Not the campus fish, all the local fish. I first heard about this from the fish in the Spokane. Everyone at Riverside Park is sick of your shit. It’s creepy, Jay. What’s the point of getting all buddy-buddy with fish you’re planning on eating?”

Jay’s eyes narrowed. “What, should I kill without a thought, then? What if I catch a fish with obligations?”

“That’s not why you’re doing it.”

“You’re right,” Jay said. “It’s not. But it is a consideration, among many. I don’t think it’s as bad as you think. And, no, I won’t be stopping any time soon.”

Dan shook his head and threw the notebook at the table. “Give it back to me when we have class again. And after that, I don’t want to hear from you.”

“What’s the big problem?” Jay said, suddenly sounding much more concerned. “Acanthis, they’re just fish.”

“They’re not just fish to me,” Dan snapped. “I’m mer, you asshole. It’s not the same. And—the way you do it is creepy. I don’t like it. Just because I know fish aren’t people to you doesn’t mean they don’t matter to me.”

“Oh,” Jay said. “The issue is that I eat fish?”

“I eat fish!” Dan said. “Are you being—are you being willfully stupid now? The problem is that you’re making friends with the fish you eat!”

“Ah,” Jay said. “Yeah, no, sorry, there’s nothing you can do about that. It’s been good knowing you, Acanthis. Thanks for the notes.”

“Fuck yourself,” Dan said, rather charitably, as far as he was concerned, and stormed back out of the library.

-

Jay did not stop preying on the fish. He did stop asking Dan for notes. He did also return Dan’s notebook, in about the same condition as he’d taken it, but there was an odd blue stain on one page.

 And life continued as it normally did. The class continued. Dan got familiar with the professor, a lovely older woman called Dr. Bernadotte Maragou, who was very sweet and worked in the Health Sciences department but was still nonetheless teaching an ecology course because the school was lacking a professor to teach it and she had the necessary bioinformatics background. Unfortunately, Jay did, too. He was—to everyone else, at least—charming, or at least something like it. To hear Bernie speak, he was sweet and helpful and wouldn’t hurt a fly.  But if she could hear the fish, she’d think he was the devil. All everyone else’s adoration served to do was make Dan like him even less.

Still, the end of the semester approached apace, and Dan kept his focus on himself and his friends as much as he was able. Most of the fish that Dan was familiar with knew better than to trust Jay by now, and he heard that Jay was venturing further and causing trouble in different places instead, but he left it alone. Realistically, what was he going to do? It was the only reasonable thing. He stopped by the aquarium on occasion, which was a delight in and of itself, and he got his work done, and he kept in touch with his colleagues in the Atlantic and they kept him posted on what they were seeing with the shark populations they were monitoring. There were some instances of bad news—the missing student never showed up, and another one or two, Dan wasn’t sure, joined them in vanishing off the face of the earth, but it was a city and these things happened and it didn’t happen to anyone Dan knew. At the end of the day, all was as well as it could really be.

Until it wasn’t.  

One week before the end of classes, Bernadotte announced to the class as a whole that the university was going to launch the aquarium publicly, explaining briefly what it was and much more rapidly turning to something worse: that, as a pre-opening event, the Environmental Sciences college was hosting an event and anyone enrolled in an CoES class was welcome, for free and everything. Dan watched Jay perk up, visibly interested. Absolutely not.

It was one thing to be eating goldfish from the tank and wild fish out of the river. It was something else entirely to start eating out of an aquarium. Dan couldn’t help but feel protective over a project he’d helped with, too, even if it hadn’t been that much help. He knew a lot of those fish. He was absolutely not letting this rule-flaunting, skeevy asshole fuck it all up.

He accosted Jay outside class. “You are not going to that aquarium.”

“The one with the art installations?” Jay said. “Yes I am. Do you want something, Acanthis?”

“Would you quit calling me by my last name? Stay out of those fucking fish tanks.”

“No,” Jay said. “I have another class to be at, Acanthis, would you get out of my face?”

“The second anything goes wrong at that aquarium, I’m pointing the finger at you,” Dan said. “Don’t even fucking think about it. I’ll know if even a single fish is fucking hurt. If you even speak to them.”

“Acanthis. I have places to be,” Jay said. “Move, or I’m pushing you.”

“This is the only warning I’m fucking giving you,” Dan growled. “Take it. Stay out of the fucking aquarium.”

Jay scoffed and shouldered past Dan. Dan made no effort not to be pushed out of the way, but called after Jay, “I mean it!”

Jay shook his head, like he was rolling his eyes where Dan couldn’t see them, and kept walking.  So the aquarium was screwed, basically.

-

Dan knew he was being a little unreasonable. He wasn’t going to let that stop him, though.

Asking around turned up that Jay likely didn’t have a car, so Dan figured that he was going to try to catch a ride with someone else to the aquarium. It was hardly walking distance, from campus to the center of downtown Spokane. Trying to stop Jay from getting a carpool was going to be hard, but not impossible, of course. He’d figure something out. If he could even figure out who was bringing Jay…

…which turned out to be easier than Dan had expected. Two days after the announcement in class, Bernie had announced that she’d gotten some students who were struggling to make it to the aquarium location, and she would be organizing carpools. That just meant that Dan needed to see who got Jay’s name and somehow convince them not to bring Jay. These were students. He could probably bribe them, or ply them with cookies and alcohol, or something. Wouldn’t be too hard.

It wasn’t to be. Bernie ended up with three kids on overflow, and Jay was one of them. Bernie was a really lovely lady, and sweet as they came. And there was absolutely no way Dan was going to be able to tell her what the issue was without having to answer difficult questions about himself, and besides, she’d probably insist that he was being too hard on Jay and there was a good reason to eat goldfish after telling them you thought they were the best individual fish on the planet or something. So just telling Jay’s transportation to leave him behind unexpectedly was out of the plan.

Eventually, in a fit of desperation, Dan asked Bernie if he could catch a ride with her along with the other three students. She said that he could, and that it’d be a little cramped but there would still be room for everyone.

The night before the event, Dan started asking around again, trying to find Jay to warn him off a second time. This time he didn’t succeed. Everyone knew who he was, of course, but no one could quite find him. One girl even asked Dan if he thought Jay was ”next”—baffling Dan, and when he asked what she meant, she started carrying on about mysterious disappearances and serial killers like she thought they were living in a movie of some sort. No one else Dan spoke to was any more helpful. Jay had to be off-campus somewhere, or maybe he’d vanished into thin air. Dan wasn’t optimistic enough to trust in the latter, but he crossed his fingers anyway. That would be one disappearance Dan wouldn’t mind, that was for sure.

The inexorable march of time went on, as it always did. Tomorrow rolled around. Dan woke up on the morning of the aquarium event and knew that this was it. He was out of time. He just had to find some way to make it happen.

This time, he succeeded in waylaying Jay. It was by chance, even—he caught sight of Jay’s stupid gray horns just barely peeking out over the sea of faces at the front doors to the library and zeroed in on Jay as fast as he could. He grabbed Jay by the arm and couldn’t suppress a second of distaste at the texture of Jay’s flesh—strangely squishy and stiff all at once, like a very full water balloon instead of flesh with bones in it—and then Jay whirled around. “Acanthis?”

Dan opted not to call him on the name thing this time. “This is the last time I’m going to say it. Stay away from the aquarium.”

“Didn’t you say last time was going to be the only warning?” Jay said.

“I am so serious,” Dan said. “You do not want to test me on this. Stay away from the aquarium! Do I make myself clear?”

“Uh-huh. Enjoy the rest of your day, Acanthis.” Jay started to pull away from Dan, and Dan grabbed his arm tighter. His odd glassy eyes narrowed. “You’re going to want to let go of me right now.”

“Tell me you’ll stay away from the aquarium.”

Jay wrenched his arm away from Dan’s grip, much harder than Dan expected. His knuckles ached at the sudden force; he could swear he heard one of his joints crack. “I told you to let go of me, didn’t I? I don’t know how to say this politely, Acanthis—stop telling me to stay away from the aquarium. I’m allowed to be curious about it just like everyone else is. Just because you have a problem with me doesn’t make it my concern. I’m tolerating this, because you work here and I’m probably leaving after another semester. But if you push me, I’m going to start pushing back. Do I make myself clear?”

“I don’t have a problem with you, I have a problem with you eating—” Dan realized abruptly that they were in public and lowered his voice. “Eating the fucking fish! I think that should be fucking understandable.”

“No, you also have a problem with me,” Jay said flatly. “You are not the only one, and I do not care very much. But you will never be able to dictate what I do and don’t do. You had better get that through your head right the fuck now.”

Dan, disbelieving, shook his head. “I can’t fucking believe you.”

“Great,” Jay said, shoving past Dan. He hit Dan in the chest with his shoulder, clearly intentionally. “See you at the aquarium, Acanthis.”

“No you fucking won’t!” Dan called after him, but he vanished seamlessly into the crowd before he was even done speaking.

Fucker.

-

Finally, out of ideas, Dan called up a local friend who did some contract work with the Sideways Court and asked them to temporarily hex Bernie’s car. He felt bad about it, but it wouldn’t be any real harm done, and it’d just keep the car from starting for a while. It would stop the other two students from getting to the aquarium either, but Dan was willing to call that an acceptable loss. He turned up at the parking lot next to the cafeteria at the appointed meeting-time even though he knew it wasn’t going to get him anywhere; it seemed only fair to miss it, and besides, that let him keep an eye on Jay.

Jay gave Dan a very dubious look when he arrived. “You’d better not be waiting here for me, Acanthis.”

“Nope,” Dan said. “Carpooling.”

Jay gave him a long, hard look, and then shrugged and pulled out his phone. “I assume you’ll be dogging my steps all night?”

“You’d best believe it.”

“I don’t mean to insult you, Acanthis,” Jay said, “but this strikes me as a phenomenally stupid plan.”

“I keep telling you, my name is Dan,” Dam said. “And my plan is fine.”

“I’m sure it is,” Jay said, not looking up from his phone. “Look, for all anyone knows, you’re the concern here. Everyone at the library saw you getting handsy and aggressive with me. You have fuck-all in the way of evidence. And I’m—”

A car pulled up along the cement, and Jay cut off, picking his head up. “Ah, there’s Doctor Maragou,” he said, in exactly the same casual tone.

That was weird, and eerie. “Hey, Bernie,” Dan called, trying to keep any sort of distrust out of his tone of voice. “How’s your day been?”

“Oh, hi, Dan,” Bernie said. “Hi Jay! It’s great to see you both. Have you seen Sophia and Luke?”

“Not yet, but there’s still plenty of time,” Jay said, smiling warmly. “Dan, I know you’re closest with Doctor Maragou. Do you want to sit up front?”

“Generous of you,” Dan said, “yeah. Bernie, should we get in now?”

“Yeah, why not?” Bernie asked. “I think I see Sophia coming over now, anyway. It shouldn’t be too long.”

True enough, Sophia was cresting the small hill between the walking path and the parking lot. As Dan watched, Luke, the fourth student, walked over as well. So that was the whole crowd.

Dan didn’t need to jostle around, not in the front seat, but in the back Sophia, Luke, and Jay had to work out seating arrangements; Jay had volunteered to sit in the middle, but there was a little bit of difficulty with the seatbelts, and it took a few minutes of shuffling about before Luke finally announced to Bernie that they  could start driving. Bernie nodded, smiling, and made to pull out of the parking lot. And then her car made a terrible backfiring noise.

“What the hell was that?” Luke blurted. “I mean, um, sorry Professor.”

“What the hell was that?” Bernie muttered, stepping on the gas again. Nothing happened.

“That’s… weird,” Sophia said. “Professor M., has that ever happened before?”

“Nope,” Bernie said. “I’ve never had any car do that before.”

“I can take a look at it,” Sophia said, already opening the door. “I’m good with cars.”

“Hang on a minute,” Bernie said, turning her key in the ignition. Nothing happened. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

“Yup,” Sophia said.

“How sure?” said Bernie, pressing on the gas again.

“Very sure,” Sophia said. “I like cars. Pressing on the gas isn’t going to do anything good if it‘s not igniting, so maybe stop doing that.”

Bernie stopped pressing on the gas very quickly. “Okay. You can look under the hood, if you want. Let me come out and look at it with you.”

The two of them stood outside the car looking at the hood for a good ten or eleven minutes. Jay made dubious eye contact with Dan through the rearview mirror. Dan pretended not to notice.

“Um,” Luke, the other classmate, said awkwardly after about two minutes of sustained silence. “So, uh, you’re Professor Acanthis, right?”

“You can call me Dan,” Dan said.

“Yeah, but you teach the fieldwork for nonmajors class, right?”

“Yeah,” Dan said. “Why?”

“Is it particularly hard?” Luke asked. “I mean, work-intensive. I’m setting up my schedule for next semester.”

Dan paused, trying to think about that. “I just started teaching it this semester. I think it’s pretty light, but you’re better off asking one of my students.”

“He means it’s very easy,” Jay said tonelessly. “Acanthis, tell him your late work policy.”

“It’s Dan,” Dan said. “As long as it’s in before the end of the semester, I don’t take points off late work.”

“They meet once a week, there’s a lab report due but you can work on it in the class, and it’s for nonmajors,” Jay added. “Very easy class. If you want an easy A you should take it.”

“Huh,” Luke said. “Thanks… Jaaaaaames?”

“Jay,” Jay said, but now that Dan was listening he pronounced it a little oddly, sort of more like ‘Joy’ than ‘Jay’. “Luke, right?”

“Yeah,” Luke said. “Are you planning on taking it next semester? I thought you and Professor Acanthis had… um.”

“Drama?” Jay asked, and laughed under his breath. “No, it’s nothing serious, but I’m on the pre-med track. Have to take macrobio field instead. I’m only in class with Doc Maragou because it qualified as an elective.”

“What’s the deal, actually?” Luke said. “Like, if you don’t mind me asking, because I heard you guys were really, uh… but you seem chill now.”

“Like I said,” Jay said, “it’s nothing serious. Me and Acanthis have a couple disagreements over… I don’t know, I don’t want to get into it. And a friend of a friend was talking shit about me that he believed, but I think we’re over that. Mostly it’s personality clash.”

“It’s not personality clash,” Dan said. “He’s fucked over a few friends of mine and won’t stop doing it.”

Jay raised his eyebrows at Luke, who smiled rather tightly back. “It is really not that serious. He doesn’t like that I don’t do what he tells me. I get it. I don’t like to be told what to do. It’s a personality clash. We’re working it out. This time next year, I imagine you won’t even hear that me and Acanthis were arguing.”

“Huh,” Luke said. “Right.”

Dan willed himself not to argue, even though that was blatantly untrue. He didn’t need to hash the whole thing out in front of a human audience. Fortunately, about that point Bernie came back around. “We can’t figure the problem out,” she said through the driver’s-side door, “so you three might as well come out. I’m not sure what we’re going to do here.”

“Damn,” Luke said.

“It’s a bit of a walk,” Jay said, “and it’ll get us there a little late, but we could take the Six over to Riverside.”

Dan turned to look at him, uncomprehending. He could see the other three do the same.

“The bus,” Jay said. “Don’t any of you go anywhere?”

“I only take the campus shuttle,” Luke said. “Sorry.”

“Huh,” Jay said. “Anyway, if that’s the plan, we should probably get moving. If we miss the bus we’re going to be waiting for a good hour for the next one.”

“I think the event ends at eight,” Bernie said.

“And it’s, what, six now?” Jay said. “So we’ll basically miss it. I don’t particularly want to do that,” he said, making eye contact with Dan with a weird little sedate smile on his face, “so unless anyone has objections, let’s get moving.”

“How far of a walk is it?” Bernie asked.

Jay shrugged. “Maybe a few miles? It’s at the transit center. Do you know where I mean?”

“Oh!” Bernie said. “Okay, I think I can do that.”

“Fan-ta-stic,” Jay said. “Luke, Sophia, you two on board?”

“Yeah, sure,” Sophia said.

“You didn’t ask Dan,” Luke said.

“Oh, don’t worry,” Jay said. “He’s going to follow me no matter what I ask him.”

“Oo-kay,” Luke said. “Yeah, I’ll come.”

Jay smiled, waving a hand and starting to walk rather briskly. “Alright. We have half an hour. Let’s move.”

Dan had never walked between the campus and the transit center like this before. This part of Spokane—of Washington, really—was gorgeous. Jay kept them hurrying along the side of the road, but Dan and Sophia kept slowing down to look at the trees or the rock faces or the rivers and falling behind. Dan wished he could say it was intentional, but it really was just that beautiful. And because they kept stopping at the same things, he and Sophia had started talking, aimlessly commenting on the trees and the water.

Then the road they were walking along turned into a bridge, high over a wide waterfall. All of them stopped, even Jay.

“This reminds me of where I grew up,” Sophia said to Dan. “I was walking distance from Wairere as a kid.”

Jay turned as though that had caught his attention. “Wairere Falls?”

“You’ve been there?” Sophia asked, looking a bit surprised. “Yeah.”

“They were more impressive than this, I think,” Jay said. “I don’t know, the last time I was in New Zealand was nearly thirty years ago.”

“Aotearoa,” Sophia said.

“Couldn’t have been,” Luke said, at about the same time. “How old are you?”

Jay laughed. “You think someone with a face as plastic as mine looks my age? I appreciate the vote of confidence. I’m pushing forty.”

Was that his cover? That he’d just undergone a bunch of surgeries?

“Oh, wow,” Bernie said. “What did you do before you decided to go into medicine?”

Jay glanced sidelong at Dan. “Professional fishing. Do you still need a moment to ogle?”

“Not hassling us to get moving again already?” Dan asked.

“We’ve got a little time,” Jay said.

“You were on us the whole way here,” Sophia said, still staring at the falls.

“Yeah, because I knew you were all going to stare here. It’s a nice waterfall. Take your time. I’ll tell you when we really have to get a move on.”

Dan turned that one over in his head for a moment. Was Jay expecting him to have delayed more intensely? Was that what that actually was? Or was this actually a moment of… what, generosity in disguise? Jay was such a strange person.

It was a nice waterfall, though, and the water below it looked deep and clear. Dan walked to the part of the railing Jay was leaning on, trying to look subtle, and leaned over. “Between the two of us, we’re the only ones who can breathe under water.”

“I can’t, actually,” Jay said. “I don’t breathe at all.”

Dan stopped, looking at him properly. Jay shrugged. “No lungs. Don’t breathe.”

“But you can  live under water, right?” Dan did his best to clarify.

“Yeah, that I can,” Jay said. “What about it?”

“Have you ever gone over a waterfall like that? If you’re here, and you were in New Zealand around waterfalls.”

Now it was Jay’s turn to look at Dan oddly. “I have, actually. Not often, but I have. Are you about to ask me for advice?”

“I just… wonder, I guess,” Dan said. “Does this one look like it’d be good to jump off of?”

Jay was quiet for a moment, studying the water. “Well, depends what you mean by good. You’ll probably get spun really hard. Impacting the water will probably hurt, but you don’t want to dive or anything here, or you’ll risk hitting the bottom, I think, it doesn’t look that deep to me.”

“You could’ve just said no,” Dan said.

“Those are the only problems. If you don’t like being disoriented, that’s on you,” Jay said. “The water is clean and clear and there’s no rocky outcroppings to hit yourself into. It’s pretty damn good, as far as these things go.”

“Sounds kind of unpleasant.”

“It’s  one of those things,” Jay said, turning toward the other three. “If you liked it, you’d probably already know that by now, and if you don’t, you’ve never thought about it. I’m not sure what kind of thrill-seeking mer adolescents get up to, though.”

“Me either, really. I lived most of my life on land after I turned twelve.”

“Huh,” Jay said. “That’s why you’re like this.”

“Like what?” Dan started, but Jay was already walking toward the other three. “Jay!”

“We’re going to get moving again, guys,” Jay said, waving. Bernie, Luke and Sophia reluctantly fell into step behind Jay again. Dan, for his part, hurried up to stand next to him so he could ask what the fuck Jay was talking about.

“What do you mean, that’s why I’m ‘like that?’”

“Do you want them hearing? I thought your being here meant you had to be super hush-hush.”

“Honestly, I’ve been wondering this whole time. Why don’t you?”

Jay gave him a disbelieving look. “Obviously I’m supposed to.”

“Well—you’re not, and no one’s tried to arrest you yet.”

“You’d be surprised at how low-profile I can be. Plastic surgery,” he said, tapping the ridges of flesh around his eyes, “tattoos, nail polish, and sometimes I can pass the horns off as a headband. Sometimes, if I’m really worried,” he glanced back at the other three, “they’re not looking. Watch this.”

Dan turned toward him, not sure what he was about to do, and was completely unprepared for his horns to just—sink back into the top of his forehead seemingly of their own volition. “What—?”

“It’s uncomfortable, though,” Jay said, replacing them with a gesture that looked more like spitting something out than horns protruding through his face. They were now streaked with some sort of bluish, viscous fluid, like dish soap. Jay ran his hands over them, and then rubbed his hands together, and when he went back to talking neither the horns nor his hands were wet.

“Neat trick,” Dan said, totally astonished.

“Handy, yeah,” Jay said. “Look, not that I’m not appreciating the conversation not suddenly being you yelling in my face and all, but can I ask what prompted the change of heart?”

“No hearts have been changed. I don’t want you to eat my fish,” Dan said. “But I can’t see a way to stop you getting to the aquarium, so I guess I’ll just have to tag around all night like you said I was going to. Might as well make it a little fun, right?”

“I suppose that makes sense,” Jay said slowly, not looking as though he understood at all.

-

The bus was miserable, but the aquarium was fantastic, so it balanced out. Dan did tail Jay the whole time, though Jay obligingly let Dan pick over the remnants of the sushi bar before they went around to the exhibits instead of trying to lose Dan so he could go start snatching schooling fish or something. Dan asked him if he wanted anything, concerned as he was for the live fish in the exhibits; Jay demurred. Something about a food allergy, or something; Dan wasn’t sure exactly what he meant but he sure made it sound like there wasn’t anything at the table that wouldn’t somehow make him sick.

Jay was fascinated by the first-floor exhibits that looked like classrooms. Eventually they made it to the second floor, after Jay had done a long loop around the expansive ground level and spent a lot of time in the touch-tank mumbling to a nervous epaulette shark until he could coax it up toward him. Dan didn’t like it then, but it hadn’t been sinister after all, and he was trying to relax. But just after they made it to the second floor, Jay slipped off into the shadows, and Dan just barely caught up to him before Jay—with Dan’s keys—slipped behind the Employees Only door and beckoned for Dan to follow.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing,” Dan hissed, as soon as he was inside. “They’ll kick you out if you’re back here.”

“Not if I’m with you,” Jay said, which wasn’t true.

“Yes, they will. And they’ll revoke my clearance.”

“Come on. I want to talk to the nursery sharks.”

“Absofuckinglutely not,” Dan said. “I’ll tell on both of us.”

“What the fuck is the big idea?” Jay said. “Look, you can hear both sides of the conversation. And they’re nursery sharks, and I’m not even hungry. I’m curious about living in those drowned fake rooms. Do you know which tank we should be looking for?”

“We’re not doing this,” Dan said.

“Alright, I’ll find out without you,” Jay shrugged, and started walking. Dan reached out to grab Jay’s arm, and—

Well. Dan didn’t actually know what happened, only that his hand closed on solid-ish flesh, and then it was suddenly not solid under his hand at all, and Jay had sort of just pulled away around his fingers. Weird.

“You can come with me or you can stay there, but you’re not grabbing me in private,” Jay said. “I’m not interested in being yanked around, I don’t give a damn how worried you are about the fish. I’m not even going to put my face near the water.”

With deep misgivings, Dan hurried up and followed behind Jay. “It’s, um, door seven. The exhibit you want.”

“Thank you,” Jay said, sounding legitimately a little bit surprised. “Appreciate it.”

“Don’t expect a repeat,” Dan said. “And I will be warning them about you later.”

Jay hummed, pushing through the door slowly. Beyond, they could hear the pump and the water splashing.

Jay bent down by the side of the tank, reaching out with one hand. “This is going to look strange.”

“Everything you do looks strange,” Dan started, but he was right—it did look real fucking strange. The palm of his hand… uncoiled? Rippled and widened? And from the inside came slightly luminescent blue tendrils, about a half-inch wide each and visibly very soft, and slick with some sort of fluid with the consistency of honey, or maybe laundry detergent. He stuck these into the water without a worry, and then said, not too loudly, “Hey. Up here.”

Abruptly Dan remembered the lures. “You have those inside you? You feed them to the fish!”

“Sometimes they’re hungry,” Jay said.

“What are they, worms?” Dan asked. “Some sort of… fungus?”

Jay looked up from the water to squint at him. “Are you trying to fuck with me? Like, is that a joke?”

“What?”

Jay reached over with his normal hand and grabbed one tendril firmly, and then pulled. Hard, actually, hard enough that Dan thought it looked like it had to hurt, and then with a quiet squelching sound a small octagonal segment of his gray skin pulled free from the side of his hand and so did the tendril, still moving freely. “It’s me. I feel like that should be obvious, if the fish were reporting on me to you. That one bass got a good mouthful of my leg a few months ago.”

“What are those?” someone else said, and Jay and Dan both jumped and turned to see that there was a small nursery shark staring up at the both of them. Dan wasn’t terribly familiar with her, but he thought her name started with an s sound, or maybe an m. “Can I eat them?”

“Sure,” Jay said.

“They make fish sick,” Dan said quickly. “Better not.”

“They make fish sick?” Jay repeated. “They shouldn’t. Just drowsy, maybe.”

“Dizzy and sick, is what they told me.”

Jay looked down at his own hand curiously. “So, I’m Jay.” He said it oddly again. Maybe Dan was mispronouncing it. “My friend here is Dan.”

“Danistei,” Dan said, because he gave his real name to the fishes, thank you, and then registered that Jay had said his actual name.

“What’s your name?” Jay continued, as though nothing had happened.

“Svisa,” said the nursery shark.

“Nice to meet you, Svisa,” Dan started.

“We’re delighted you’ll speak to us,” Jay continued, coming very close to cutting Dan off. “I have a couple questions about the environment.”

“Oh, like he’s always asking,” Svisa said.

“Probably,” Jay said. “Do you know what your environment is a replica of?”

“It’s a replica?” Svisa said.

“It’s a replica of a human classroom,” Jay said, rapid-fire. “Thank you, Svisa. What do you think of the lighting on the side of the wall?”

“Oh, he really is always asking that one. It’s fine.”

“You come here from anywhere interesting?”

“Not really,” Svisa said.

“Captive-bred,” Dan cut in. “Svisa, are you bored?”

“A little bit,” Svisa said. “Nothing left in here to catch, and I know all the hiding places. When it’s light out, I can watch the other tank, but they’re dimming everything now.”

“They’re dimming everything,” Jay repeated. “Okay, Dan, up, let’s get out of here before we get caught.”

“Caught,” Svisa repeated.

“We’re not technically supposed to be back here right now,” Dan explained hastily, getting up. “Thank you so much for chatting, Svsia. Jay, was that what you wanted to know?”

“One last question,” Jay said. “How dark are the hiding places?”

“Dark enough,” Svisa said, delicately closing her jaws on a big chunk of Jay’s exposed tendrils. They sheared off cleanly, and started to leak thinner, less viscous blue fluid into the water; Jay rapidly curled them back up without even a hiss. “You’re leaving, I’ll see you some other time.”

“Me, maybe,” Dan muttered. “Jay, if she gets sick, I’m holding you to account for it.”

“She should be fine. It’s like weed,” Jay said. “Bye, Svisa, thanks for talking. Might see you again, might not. I’m curious about the way it feels down there. Dan, hitting the road?”

Dan sighed and followed behind Jay, and the two of them stepped out of the tank room and then into the Employees Only hall and then back into the rest of the museum. It was dim. “What time is it?”

“You have a phone, don’t you?” Jay said, but he was pulling his own out as he said it. “Eight ten.”

“They closed up fast,” Dan noted, a little surprised. “I wasn’t expecting them to kick everyone out and turn the lights off ten minutes after the event ended.”

Jay shrugged. “Maybe they’re just efficient. Let’s make sure they didn’t lock us in.”

They hadn’t, so the two of them walked out the doors and tried not to look suspicious. Or at least Dan tried; Jay looked casual as anything, sauntering out confidently.

“Stop looking over your shoulder,” Jay murmured out of the corner of his mouth, and Dan straightened up. “No, that’s worse, you look even more like you’re sneaking into the pantry to steal cookies or something. Do you just not do this sort of thing?”

“No, I don’t,” Dan said.

Jay paused. “Why were you messing with me so much, then? Starting out strong for your first few bits of mischief?”

“I,” Dan said, trying to wrap his head around that. “It was about the fish. It has always been about the fish.”

“But you had to know I wasn’t going to go after the fish in a new aquarium,” Jay said, sounding almost stupefied. “Right?”

What? “What? No.”

“If I’m going to an aquarium, there’s going to be close monitoring, people around,” Jay said. “And it’s not like they’re filling, anyway. Obviously I’d just go pick someone off in an alley beforehand, if it was that big a deal.”

“I told you, I don’t like you eating the wild fish either,” Dan said. “But I guess—”

“Fish?” Jay repeated. “No, I mean—” And then he stopped, and turned to gesture Dan toward an alley. “Come take a detour with me.”

“What do you mean, not fish?” Dan said, following easily.

Jay looked Dan up and down, still walking. The alley was longer than Dan expected. “I know you said something, at some point, about the ‘patterns,’” and here he made air-quotes with his fingers, “of the way that I ate the fish being ‘creepy.’”

“Yeah, because they are,” Dan said. “I mean, I might’ve been judging you wrong, but it still seems real fucking creepy to me. I don’t really get—”

Jay raised a hand and cut Dan off. “And I read into that, I think. I thought you meant the patterns I ate everything with were creepy.”

“I mean,” Dan started. “I don’t know.”

Jay smiled oddly, waving for Dan to walk a little faster. “And I thought to myself that that was fair, because you were right. And I didn’t know how much you’d told anyone, or how much trouble I’d be in if you had.”

“Jay. What are you getting at.”

“Fish are very unsatisfying, you know.” Jay sighed. “They don’t have much to talk about. Their secrets are inconsequential and not very interesting. And, now, I have a problem, the kind you’re not likely to have heard of. “

“Where are you leading me?”

“You’ll see,” Jay said. The alleyway had gotten so dark that it was difficult to make out anything except for the points of light reflecting off his eyes from the distant billboards on the street. “I need a secret—given freely—before I can eat my fill. Makes it had to order off the dinner menu. Told myself, hey, hospice care, that’s got to be the gig for me. But it doesn’t leave me a lot of time to hunt. So I’ve been scavenging the fishtanks. But do you know what one of the first things you told me was?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Dan stopped walking.

“This explains why threatening you didn’t seem to do anything,” Jay said. “Did you even know I was threatening you?”

“When the hell were you threatening me?”

“That’s what I mean,” Jay said. “I’m full, now, I’m not eating anything. Or anyone. But you know what I’m getting at, don’t you?”

Dan shook his head. “You eat fish, and you’re implying you’ll eat me.”

“About the gist of it, yeah,” Jay said. “Keep walking, we’re going to get to the bus stop a few blocks early. I didn’t want to take you through here if you already knew I was likely to maybe eat you. Didn’t need that kind of thing getting me in trouble, you understand. You cannot do anything about me, but if you decided to start running and screaming it would’ve made my life inconvenient.”

“Are you,” Dan said, trying to find the polite term for it. “Are you a… person with a vamparasitic affliction?”

“Am I a what?” Jay said. “Vamparasitic affliction? Can you not say vampire now?”

“I think it’s offensive,” Dan said.

“If I were a vampire I wouldn’t be offended,” Jay said. “But no. I’m an obligate carnivore under a curse, but it’s a different one. You’ve seen me walk in the sunlight.”

“Can you eat garlic?”

“I can’t eat any plants.”

Dan could start to see the lights at the end of the walkway now. “Why do you eat people, if you can just eat fish?”

Jay looked at Dan for a moment, and despite the low light Dan thought he could see Jay’s needle-sharp teeth glinting in a very sharp smile. “Why does anyone prefer to eat anything? Just tastes better.”

[rivetgoth]

Tbh on the topic of college, I am always gonna be thee biggest proponent of community college as a pathway to higher education for those who desire it. It’s such a scam that it’s not talked about more often and the vehement classism associated with it is just wild. I was an extremely mentally unwell teenager whose grades tanked in the latter half of high school, I switched schools and still struggled, and then graduated at age 17… I don’t necessarily think I could’ve gotten into any kind ov “dream school” right out of hs nor would I have been ready to, but going the community college route meant I was able to pay out of pocket for the first 2.5 years of school, I was able to take my classes slowly and experiment around with what I liked without it literally putting me in debt for the rest of my life, I had the time to start participating in clubs, get a job and start saving money, got my associates for transfer, AND I didn’t have to take a single standardized test to get into my dream university :) I left community college with a 3.9 GPA, a scholarship, a full resume, off to my dream city…

It genuinely feels sickening to me how much it’s looked down on as an option. About a fourth of UCLA students are transfers but the stigma against transfer students and community college was massive. I genuinely enjoyed my time at UCLA but the absolute worst part of the experience was the way people talked about community college. So many UCLA students were spoiled rich kids who were paying their way through like $50k tuition and recoiled in horror at the thought of needing to take out a loan. On “transfer day” (special event for newly admitted transfers to come explore the campus for the first time, get info about the program, meet and greet with faculty, clubs and job fair, etc) the speaker gave a whole speech like “People may judge transfer students but we support you and we know the stereotypes aren’t true!” and having never been to a 4 year before I was like… huh? But it was SO BAD dude. I remember having coworkers at the campus tutoring job I worked make comments about how “they could always tell if a paper was written by a transfer student.” I’d be like What do you mean? and they’d go on about how Oh well you know, transfer students just don’t know what they’re doing, their writing is less skillful, they aren’t as experienced… and I’d be like Well I’m a transfer and they’d IMMEDIATELY back down like “oh I don’t mean people like you though.” One of my professors gave a whole speech in the first quarter I was there after our midterm like “Now I know it’s the fall quarter and there may be some new transfers here and this is probably the first midterm you’ve had on a four year university campus, if your grade isn’t what you expected DON’T feel bad, it’s a learning experience and many transfers don’t understand the rigor it takes to get high marks here…” I GOT 100% DUDE!! Not just on the paper but I had one of the highest final grades in the class, so high that my prof actually waived the final paper for me and a small group of other students with the highest marks in the class LOL!! Stuff like this happened alllll the time. I can remember like so many little instances of someone talking about how community college and transfer students themselves just Weren’t As Good, capable, smart, etc as traditional students.

I graduated UCLA with a 3.8 GPA, so my GPA went down by .1 point between community college and four year university. While saving tens of thousands of dollars lol. I don’t really feel like I struggled particularly hard at all, I didn’t feel unprepared, and I honestly enjoyed socializing with my community college peers more than my UCLA peers. I felt a lot of solidarity with all of the transfer students I met in my classes and while working, even the ones struggling more than me. At my tutoring job when I was working with a student who mentioned they were a transfer and I told them I was too their eyes would light up! It was genuinely a really nice connection. But it blows my mind that it was partially formed out of this almost necessary solidarity via the weird fucking way people viewed it. I feel like community college was a huge part of where I started to turn my life around and get my shit together. It was not perfect but it gave me opportunities I never would’ve had otherwise. It’s very obviously classism and it’s very obviously just blatantly false—The whole idea that you’re “less prepared” for college by GOING TO COLLEGE than being a fresh-out-of-high-school 18 year old who took a couple [expensive] multiple choice tests administered by third party organizations is insane. And aside from the classism element the obvious trickle down financial benefit the schools have in pushing four year university is just so nefarious. Like the money being given to the College Board (AP and SAT), ACT, Pearson, etc not to mention the universities themselves… The school district here literally has to keep track of how many 12th graders go off to 4 year universities for funding purposes, community college isn’t even considered, so there is financial gain on all sides in pushing students to rush into life altering decisions that could cost them tens of thousands if not hundreds of thousands of dollars and push themselves far beyond their limits for no fucking reason and to no benefit to them. Gah I could rant about this forever but omg. If I have any freshly-graduated or about-to-graduate people following me or anyone considering going back to school after taking a break please please consider community college and fuck the haters for real.

[supercool-here]

I was thinking about this classmate of mine who´s abroad for this semester and I wondered how different things must be in Europe, specifically when it comes to the support we receive here; many students have a job in order to pay tuition, and what most of them do is craft and sell stuff on their own, for example crochet, oil paintings, stationery, clothes, picture frames, jewelry, pins, stickers, and so much food. The university campus became a hot spot for these commercial activities and the authorities decided to contain the problem by setting up a huge tent and tables for the students to sell/buy comfortably, while keeping a register of it. I want to know:

You don´t have to be a Uni student to answer!

[salty-professor]

The Big Grift

There is growing concern about student loan debt in America. It is a real concern. We should be fucking concerned. The current number being bandied about is 1.7 trillion dollars. Yeah. With a fucking T. Which rhymes with B which stands for bullshit.

It isn’t bullshit that this is the amount of money that is owed. That is the reported number. I believe it. I believe in math. However, it is hard to know exactly how much of that money is interest and how many people who racked up that debt actually earned a degree. We do know that students who don’t graduate end up defaulting on the student loans at triple the rate of those who did graduate AND we know that unless you die, student debt is forever.

You could take out billions in loans and default, declare bankruptcy, fuck all the small businesses who did the work for you and only pay them pennies on the dollars they are owed even though they paid their employees the full amount, walk away, and then do it over and over again. And again. And AGAIN. AND you could be rewarded for all of that by becoming the president. BUT, if you take out 20K in student loans for a degree you didn’t earn, you will have to have your wages garnished, your tax returned seized, all while the interest racks up and that 20K becomes 50 or 60 in no time.

I do think that people who take out loans should pay them back. I do. I think if you take out loans for a business, or for a degree, you owe that money back. I am OK with that. There is some nuance to it thought and that needs to be considered.

Some of those people who took out loans for degrees they didn’t earn, actually didn’t even go to class and yet, they still owe the money. That is like applying for a car loan but you never finalize the loan, sign your name, or pick it up from the dealership but still somehow you owe the money even though they sold that car to someone else.

When I first started teaching, professors could, have students removed from classes if they didn’t participate after two consecutive weeks. Now, the rule is, and this is a federal rule, not just the rule at my school, if the student doesn’t participate in week one, the student is dropped. There is no financial aid distributed and it is a no harm no foul situation.

However, if the student shows up and naps in the back row of class OR posts one word to one discussion in an online course, that student is “active” and is enrolled for the rest of the term. The money is distributed and that is that. Even if the student never shows up again, the student can’t be dropped.

It is different if a student shows up for half the classes, doesn’t put in effort and doesn’t pass. That is an object lesson. The student needed to get kicked in the wallet on that one. However, if I student ghosts after day one, the student isn’t really enrolled in the class and the money should be returned. We are not required to marry the people we ghost after one bad date, so why do we make sure the student suffers this pain?

It could be that the student is scamming the system by collecting student loan checks for two years and fucking off with the money without knowing that the money will be owed back no matter what. Some students do get cost of living loans and some students get refunds. I get it. Some of them steal. That is a scam. Fuck those fuckers. Still, it is more likely that the student assumed by not showing up, there would be a drop and so the student didn't do anything. If you stopped showing up to work, you would expect to be fired. Same principle here.

The real insidious thing about it is that the schools collect the money but don’t have to do any of the work and THAT is the main reason why this law isn’t changing. Colleges and universities rake in tons of money from the federal government in financial aid. Some schools survive on tuition money alone. If they drop a student who quit attending after one third of the class was complete and had to give back 66 percent of the money, that would be bad for bottom lines. So, instead of doing the ethical thing, they do nothing. Fucking NOTHING.

Last term I had six students who didn’t pass the course. Five of them submitted two assignments total. One of them only submitted one. The college collected that money and even though I’ve pushed and begged to have the students dropped, I was told, “not to get too worked up about it.”

Really? Fuck you. Fuck that. I am worked up about it because in 10 years, that student is going to plan on using a tax refund for something, but there will be no joy at that person’s house, because that money will be taken to repay for a class, he probably thought he dropped. AND if he wants to take out a loan to help cover the costs of anything, or buy a car, or a house, that will not happen because his credit is ruined.

Education should not be a fucking business built on the back of predatory loans.

It is a fucking right.

 FUCK!