#movie night brain fungus

[autistickaitovocaloid]

gmod funeral

[pelynas]

My personal Billy Lenz head canons cause he is like a fungus on my brain rn.

warnings for CSA, Abuse, neglect and child death!!!

to start with my interpretation of his backstory (this is where those warnings come in)

🩸From the moment of his birth his parents are indifferent to him as he was most likely an accident

🩸 he grows up a bit and their pretty neglectful already, but his parents start to become hostile, and act disgusted towards him when he starts showing signs of "not being right in the head" so to say.

🩸 he is basically used as his mother's punching bag when his fathers at work. Emotional and verbal abuse evolving into sexual and physical abuse.

🩸 This causes Billy to develop an extreme fear of women and as a result of this repetitive sexual abuse he's hypersexual.

🩸 His parents plan to have another child (one they actually want) and once his mother becomes pregnant, he gets moved to the attic his only contact with his parents now being when his mother comes up to take stuff out on him.

🩸 Agnes is born and the parents agree due to his unstable nature he should not be left alone with her even if he's in the attic it is too much of a risk.

🩸 cut to a couple of years later Agne's is now toddler aged able to talk a bit but still needing lots of care.

🩸 It is Christmas eve their mom goes out for some last-minute errands leaving a napping Agnes and Billy alone.

🩸 Billy creeps down to see Agnes he has probably done this before during the night he just wants to see the baby.

🩸 Agnes wakes up and starts crying confused about where her mom is and frightened seeing Billy as she does not recognise the dirty scraggly boy staring at her calling her pretty.

🩸Billy starts to panic and tries to quiet Agnes down both concerned for her getting in trouble for crying and for fear of his parents punishing him for upsetting the baby.

🩸 Billy grabs her pillow now feeling and starts to smother her she begs for him to stop she eventually goes quiet and limp.

🩸 Billy wraps her up in her blanket trying to delude to himself that she is still alive.

🩸 He brings the bundle that once was his little sister up to the attic.

🩸 Billy's parents come home at around the same time father panicking "you left Billy alone with Agnes!?" this panic spreading to both parents when they realise that Agnes is not in her room.

🩸 They call Billy down demanding to know where the baby is Billy reassures that she is okay in her relieved state Billy's mom calls him a good boy for the first and last time.

🩸 Billy brings down the bundle showing his parents that the baby is "alright".

🩸 in an emotional rage Billy's parents grab him and start to beat him and verbally berating him with more intensity than their usual filthy Billy's and other things of that nature.

🩸 They tell Billy to go back up the attic, but he instead goes into the kitchen and grabs a knife then the overwhelming impulse he has always been plagued with intensifies and he lunges stabbing his father to death his mother tries to run but gets cornered she tries to plead with him, but it doesn't work and she is also killed.

🩸 the front door still being partially open due to the parents panicking in their rush allows for the neighbours to hear the commotion they call the police.

🩸 What they find is a young delirious and bloody billy sitting rocking and singing to the cold bundle in his arms.

🩸 Billy is deemed mentally unwell and is sent to a mental institution where he spends the rest of his time.

🩸 When he turns 18, he gets moved out of the children's facility and into an adult one which is nearby the town in which Pi Kappa sig is located.

🩸 When he is 21 and it is around the Christmas season, he escapes he somehow finds some clothes so he can get out of the hospital mandated clothes.

🩸 then the events prior to and during the movie happen.

🎄🩸🎄🩸🎄🩸🎄🩸🎄🩸🎄🩸🎄🩸🎄🩸🎄🩸🎄🩸🎄🩸🎄🩸🎄🩸🎄

Yeah, sorry if that was a lot now, we can move onto the general head canons now that you have the context of my interpretation :D

🎄 He definitely has other mental health issues but something I am sure on based on my personal experience with them is that he has OCD and Autism.

🎄 Doesn't just bite his nails he devours them till their red raw.

🎄 Has quite wonky teeth and probably a good few cavities.

🎄Really sensitive to the light much prefers the dark.

🎄large areas can overwhelm him he much prefers confined spaces.

🎄has a big sweet tooth will eat candy and other packaged foods till hes nauseous.

🎄 Claude the cat has basicly become his emotional support animal Claude will come up to him when he's having his meltdowns breakdowns and other things like that.

🎄Speaking of cats, defiently more of a cat person dogs would be too loud for him.

🎄Also speaking of cat's I imagine him really really liking Tom and Jerry (I think they might have showed it as a treat in the kids institute) .

🎄He is kind of jealous of the sorority sisters the fact that they're his age living their lives normally he wants that.

🎄Simultaneously hypersexual and sex repulsed (God help him).

🎄 conflicted because he really enjoys christmas but it has such bad memories attached that it causes him to mentally spiral even worse than he usually does.

🎄as shown in one of the calls he wants to be stopped, he basicly feels trapped by his own mind and not in control of his own actions 99 percent of the time.

🎄 Has rare moments of lucidity, and after they go away he just feels worse.

🎄Desires connection with other people but feels too far gone and alienated for that to become a reality (which is my explanation for why I think he would use He/it)

🎄 Stims predominantly verbally (echolia) and physically (for example, biting and scratching himself or his turtleneck and fidgeting with his hands)

[nightfury-2001]

i read the story you wrote about a dragon in the Hidden World getting lost in the mushroom tunnels and suffocating from the spores, and it inspired my brain to come up with a crack theory:

THW is secretly a horror movie about Toothless being infected with a parasitic brain fungus that compels dragons to go into the Hidden World and die so the fungus can continue to grow. all those big pretty mushrooms in the Hidden World are the fruiting bodies of this fungus in the breeding stage of its life cycle, which it can only reach in the conditions of the Hidden World after absorbing enough nutrients from the corpses of the dragons it has infected, releasing tons of spores to be carried on the wind currents out of the Hidden World to spread across the archipelago and infect dragons far and wide. the real reason Toothless acts like a slobbering idiot in this movie is because there's a fungus eating away at his brain. it's also why he forced Berk's entire flock to follow him into the Hidden World. the fungus compelled him to feed it.

as for the Light Fury, her species have a symbiotic relationship with the Hidden World fungus, and are immune to it. one of the effects the fungus has on the brain of infected dragons is that it makes them find Light Furies irresistably sexy, allowing the Light Furies to seduce and lure infected dragons into the Hidden World that wouldn't be able to find their way there alone. All of Berk's flock, and all the other dragons we see in the movie (aside from the Light Furies), are now dead, consumed by the fungus and the Light Furies in the Hidden World.

The fungus cannot infect humans but it still has harmful effects on their brains. Snotlout and the twins acted the way they did because they got caught in a cloud of spores at some point before the movie. Hiccup let the dragons go and Astrid didn't stop him because they both got heavily exposed to the spores while in the Hidden World. as we can see in Homecoming, New Berk's proximity to the Hidden World has not done its populace any favors. the Night Lights? just dreams and hallucinations in Hiccup's fungus addled brain. in reality Toothless died not long after returning to the Hidden World and did not produce any offspring. the Light Fury scavenged part of his corpse and the fungus took the rest.

this is a really stupid theory, and yet it somehow makes more sense than the actual plot of the movie.

apologies if this is too much, i have a tendency to go overboard with things.

I'm happy that my little fanfic inspired you! I really like your theory/take on the mushroom hell idea - it's funny that soooo many aspects of THW really do make more sense if those mushrooms are actually like....the dragon version of cordyceps/zombie-ant fungus lmao

[shytastemakerthing]

Hello! I saw that your matchups were open and I’d like some please?

For twisted wonderland, some romantic and platonic maybe? Idk. I kind of don’t know what I’m doing lol

Things about me bc that’s probably important:

- I am very……..very scatterbrained. I can remember what happened 10 years ago but not last week. Yesterday is nothing to me. My memory is either crystal clear or blurred completely, there’s no inbetween.

- Sometimes whether it’s late at night or just after a good movie I have what I call “crack energy” where I’ll start laughing hysterically at the most mundane things or at random things that I say.

- I have a lot of nervous tics, like picking dead skin on my fingers and rocking on my feet but I also have a few verbal ones as well (idk what else to call them, I make these random noises that change slightly depending on my mood).

- Depending on the circumstances I can either be extremely adaptable and rise to the occasion (like emergencies or when someone needs first aid) and in others I end up having a lot of anxiety than is healthy to the point where I’ll start to shake/count money wrong (the line at DQ starts to get pretty long). But either way, I’m very good at trying things out at least once.

- I?? I love frogs and snakes and all sorts of critters. I also love macabre decorations like animal bones used to decorate picture frames? I live for that. Mushrooms have been among my favorite types of fungus for years, I love seeing how people have studied them.

- while I’m not the most athletic person, I do take a Brazilian jiu jitsu class twice a week and I’m close to testing for my final belt in a self defense class. It’s really fun, but violent (In my first class I learned the guillotine choke which has become my favorite since then).

- No matter what happens I try to look on the bright side of things, although with a slightly morbid twist. Like, for example, “if this campsite floods and we’re swept away, at least we’ll be a cool news story to read about” or something. Also, I love to travel and visit people.

- I am very affectionate, but when a certain time of the month rolls around I am very VERY emotional, and it’s awful the two days leading up to it. When I’m really angry at something I have what my family calls a “death glare” that my brothers are apparently terrified of. It’s only something I can properly pull off when I’m properly mad, and I I can’t think about it either or else it doesn’t work. If I’m not angry, I might be crying over something small (usually the result of a whole bunch of other things spilling over into a breakdown.

- I have a weighted stuffed octopus and it’s become one of my most prized possessions. I have a lot of stuffed animals but it’s become my favorite bc I love feeling weight on me for some reason.

Hope that was enough, have a good night amazing human!!!

Hello and thank you for your request!! I hope you are well and in regards to this request, I did both a romantic and platonic match up!

Enjoy!!

Romantic:

I match you with........

Jade Leech

🍁 As soon as he heard about your love for mushrooms, you gained an invitation to join thr mountain lovers club as well as an invitation to come and help him take care of his terrariums pretty fast. He is committed.

🍁 You both often find each other swapping cacts about various mushrooms that you have learned about all while watching each other as if you both just hung the stars in the sky (Floyd sees this and gags..... he's lonely)

🍁 Speaking of Floyd, Jade has had tk take care of him for a good long while and his own personality so needless to say, he can handle you being scatterbrained better than anyone else. Honestly, he says that Floyd is so much worse so this is actually pretty nice.

🍁 To help with how your brain can be in recalling much of anything, he has left quite a few little sticky notes all around for you to find with needed information. Every single day, there is one on your door reminding you to take necessary breaks and to eat something.

🍁 Now, these anxious habits of yours? He has plenty of much better alternatives for you to help with this, mostly goes for picking your dead skin. He would happily whisk you away for an easier and far more relaxing mean of getting rid of it, free of charge. He is very well intune with your emotions and anxiety to know when it all begins even before you do. Anxiety has gone down because of this eel.

🍁 He does not mind your affectionate nature (again, Floyd), and to be honest, he quite loves it. Just make sure there is no one else around to see such softness and we will be just fine.

🍁 And when that lovely time of suffering arrives (IYKYK😭), he has everything that you need before you even say it.... EVERYTHING. Water? Check. Snacks? Grabbed all of your favorites on the way here. Pain mess? He keeps them even in HIS dorm. If a mess has been made? He has already has a warm shower running for you and while you're standing there, he has already changed the sheets and got dirty ones in tbe washer, fresh sheets on the bed, followed by your favorite drink, snack, book, and/or movie ready. Then helps you wash up, gets you in fresh clothing and now you're relaxing comfortably in bed wktn your loving eel.

🍁 Overall, if there is anything you need, Jade will a absolutely have it ready for you. He loves when you hike with him for new mushrooms or surprise him by showing up at the lounge, or even just your presence alone, he is very much happy.

Platonic:

I match you with......

Azul Ashengrotto

🐙 I saw that you have a weighted octopus plushie and that settled this debatebfir me as for a platonic matchup. (I want one now but y'know....*cries in broke*)

🐙 Azul would be the absolute KING at heloig through your nerves and anxieties. Look, he may not look it, but he has plenty if these issues himself, and he has found many helpful ways to work through them that he will be sharing with you, free of charge because you're able tk keep Jade in check, which also helps to keep Floyd in check.

🐙 He saw your weighted octopus plushie and nearly lost it because it was probably the best thing that this poor boy has seen (somebody please give the octopus a hug, he needs it). He has gotten you more.

🐙 As his dearest friend, as he likes to refer to you as, you do get discounts at the lounge. And ONLY you. It's not much as he still wants to bring in the madol, but hey, something is a lot better than nothing.

🐙 Speaking of Madol, if he hears your struggling a hit lately, of are just running a bit low and are in need of some things, he is on his way to your aide, no contract needed (honestly, he stopped trying after a week after seeing you would never sign one, and you're also dating his vice housewarden, who happens tk be his right hand mand, who also happens to be his childhood best friend).

🐙 I can see Azul as someone who would like some macabre things. He lived under the ocean, the ocean is a very dangerous place, and you use what you have. Skeletal remains are among those things, so this live of yours would not bother him. He'd even help you collect.

🐙 Overall, a friendship with the hoursewarden of Octavinelle and the leader of the infamous trio has quite a lot of benefits for you. Not that you are complaining. Great perks, discounted food, and so much more. It's certainly worth it.

[heinrix]

people you'd like to know better tag ♥

was tagged by @maxthetruman tysm <333

three ships: the ones im currently rotating constantly rn are oz/enver (ofc, they’re a staple in my brain), samael/konrad (a fungus taking over my brain fr), & one i haven’t really talked abt but have had in the back of my brain for sooo long now, osmond/miguel. my oc x canon swag will never be defeated

last film: i need to watch more movies :( but the last one i watched was videodrome. david cronenberg movies save me

currently watching: im still getting through exu: calamity and fantasy high, idk when of if i’ll ever finish them lol (<- is trying to resist the urge to watch a crown of candy again)

currently reading: the night haunter by guy haley. im such a slow reader but it’s everything i want in a book: father issues, complex sibling relationships, cannibalism, & the most mentally ill man in fiction (konrad curze). also it’s incredibly well written going through the most important moments of konrad’s life through flashbacks & his monologues at the corpse statue he created to look like his father

currently consuming: warhammer 40k stuff mostly, technically 30k since im going through primarch lore and horus heresy stuff…there is so much lore and i rlly wanna read the horus heresy books but there’s like 50 of them😭save me audiobooks

currently craving: my friend and i are going to this mexican restaurant in a couple hours so im craving that

never know who to tag for these but uhh @deaths @astarionz @eastgaysian @devonrubinart @baneschosen :3

[braintasting]

First thoughts on The Last of Us

I've only seen the first four episodes, but I think I've got a handle on what makes THE LAST OF US different from previous zombie fiction. I'm not sure how to string these thoughts together yet, but I want to jot them down to see what patterns emerge (like fruiting bodies from a mycelial network, of course).

* It's firmly lodged in the apocalypse-as-family-dynamic subgenre of zombie films, like the first few seasons of THE WALKING DEAD, 28 WEEKS LATER, and even moreso TRAIN TO BUSAN (previously discussed here).

* Rather than extending out of melodrama like... well, most zombie movies from NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD on; lots of repressed anguish, psychological subtext, close-ups on sweaty faces making bad decisions... and rather than borrowing dynamics or settings from war movies like DEAD SNOW, DAY OF THE DEAD, OUTPOST, or the final third of 28 DAYS LATER... this series is pretty consciously taking its cues from Westerns. It's not exactly TRUE GRIT in the zombie apocalypse, but it's close.

* The Western trappings change the deeper themes at play. Westerns are always about remarkable individuals making existential decisions, whereas nearly all zombie movies are about social systems and the breakdown of interpersonal hierarchies. The zombies (or fungally infected) in THE LAST OF US don't seem to travel in herds. It's an epidemic, but in this story, the infected are all networked together. We're told early on that what one perceives, others will react to even over a distance of miles. This isn't a mathematical or statistical model; it's biological. Rhizomatic.

* The design work is outstanding, and unlike nearly every post-apocalyptic fiction I've seen (with the possible exception of STATION ELEVEN) the photography seems to take real joy in life. This isn't THE ROAD WARRIOR as much as it is AFTER MAN. Cars aren't burnt and blackened as much as they are green with moss and weeds. City streets have been reclaimed by wilderness. Of course, this visual choice is a natural extension of a schema in which the infectious agent is a fungus rather than a virus. A virus is a biological machine, not even truly alive. Cordyceps fungus is alive, too alive; it only wants to dominate a brain and an animate creature's neurology in order to reproduce itself. The horror of THE LAST OF US is that everything grows, not that everything breaks down.

* Because it is a family story, and a story about life, the triumph of life over society itself, it is also a love story. The third episode with Nick Offerman is ... well, I won't spoil it, but it's really about emotional life flourishing in the face of a world that is unkind, crude, and dismissive of the value of the individual. That value is developed not just for every person in their own right (in true Western fashion) but also expressed in the value people find in each other. Humans are networked too, only by emotional bonds, not by mycelium. (Of course one of two main characters is a prepper. Who you let into your bunker makes for a great character-shaping tool.)

Looking forward to where this fiction goes next.

[moonstruck-stormy]

☘️for your FL OCs :)

Speaking both of them I have split my heritage into two. Rook is south Asian and Wren is Irish. Both are gender non conforming in some way. Wren is an affectionate given nickname (adopted as a name) for their bold and feisty personality. Rook is a chosen name because he thinks corvids are cool.

______

Rook first bc he’s on my mind constantly rn, but I forgot to take my psychiatric medication (do not recommend but inspiration is inspiration) one night and I had a vivid fever dream (gonna set up the character account after my semester is completely over lest he takes over my brain like a fungus and I’m his host. )

In the dream I was a sewage treatment plant worker lost in the sewers on a job, and instead of trying to get out I started talking to the rats and the mother gator with a clutch of eggs that will never hatch because it’s so cold, and they kept telling me how lonely they were because they were, and I tried to help them but i couldn’t no matter how hard I tried, and a person came from the depths of the sewer water to tell me they were suffering because of me. Definitely not the weirdest stress dream I’ve had.

We’ll see what that dream brings me in choices. I’ve yet to chose an ambition for him.

_____

For Wren (for hearts desire) they mainly bc I like card games (used to play a lot with my extended family) and I like body horror, but I completely understand if other folks don’t like it. Bc I can’t stand movies like the saw series my cousins did a movie marathon of saw and I checked out. A lot of folks don’t like all horror and I can empathize.

In a sense, I like horror that makes me question things, and also horror that can be spun in a wild way because of characterization. Like a character that takes the horror in stride or is bold and blunt with the horrors. First character in mind for me is the main character in season 2 of Gregory Horror Show (an early 2000s CGI horror anime). I was inspired by that because it was my first step into horror, and the ending of that season is similar in vibes to one of heart’s desire’s ending.

Plus it sorta reminds me of old ocs when I was 13 rping as shapeshifters who were confident on the Monster Kingdom forums (an old monster capture app that had a thriving RP community I think the app is defunct now tho, but it makes me very nostalgic :) even if I don’t remember my old username or my friends usernames)

____

The two characters’ differences entail that Rook is stressed and has steadfast morals while Wren is fast and loose and is sort of a bad person even if they don’t directly hurt people. I normally like making characters who are bad people bc it’s interesting and fun, and I like making selfish characters just as much. I feel guilty to be selfish irl, but it feels great to explore character dynamics based off of it.

There are characters who are selfish and don’t realize it and characters who are selfish and know and don’t care who they hurt when they take. For Wren the harm they can do isn’t processed because they think them knowing not to hurt anyone is good enough. Rook would absolutely chew Wren out for their indirect harm they’ve caused. He is afraid of the innocent being hurt. I wonder how I can make Wren realize they hurt people, and I wonder how I can break Rook <3

Oh no I rambled

[edge-lorde]

I've been very busy this week I've had to travel a lot and drove like 5 hours today at night and I might have covid BUT.... I had a strange dream either last night or the night before.

It was a dream about a movie I had seen, a horror scifi (animated?) Tragedy about an alien bug woman/girl who comes to earth in her larva form, which looks vaguely humanoid but not really feminine, with a message that all of humanity will be destroyed in __ amount of time. This was not HER message, though, it was like biological. Like those ants with the fungus that changes their behavior so that they go someplace high to die so that the fungus can release its spores from out of the ants head. Like she had a biological drive to go to earth and build a chrysalis but instead of covering herself in silk or whatever she came to earth, found a high place, and a tendril released from her body eminating this message across the world in perfect human language, a message that she herself may or may not be physically able to understand. She was intelligent but differently so from us. I dont think she could speak or understand language.

The actual plot of the movie was about her, this alien being/ creature / animal/ girl, exploring hidden places and natural and manmade, possibly being befriended by humans or animals, or at least trying to. I think she must have been a solitary species who didn't have the ability to see other beings as social units. She was never aggressive, just indifferent to suffering either in general or caused by her. And I think the basic idea was that it was this slow paced, somber movie with almost no dialog that followed this alien bug as she tried to have a character arc and see the beauty in humanity enough so to save it, and I think she comes close. In the end though, it's not enough and she transforms and somehow this results in every person on earth having thier brains ripped out of their skulls and dying. No hope, no happy ending, the alien doesn't even get to morn or anguish at what she had become because the moment she transformed, 'she,' the person part of her, stopped existing too.

Anyway, this is not what the dream was about. The dream was me having a dream about this 'movie' that I had supposedly seen and already knew everything that happened in it. Like aw yes the cult classic larva woman movie that everyone has seen, classic larva woman dream..... except now that I'm awake I'm pretty sure this movie doesn't exist because I can't remember anything else solid that happened in it besides the tendril scene......

I would really like this movie to exist though, not because I think it would be fun to watch because it absolutely wouldn't, but because much like how i feel about space odyssey 2001 i feel I would like to have watched it, so I can think about it later and have larva woman dreams.......

[personaldairyentriesarchive]

Tuesday, May 31, 2022

09:24

When I woke up in the morning my right eye was feeling funny again, used some eye drop and the whole trip to work was a torment. I feel better now. The traffic was crowded and i almost crush into people for a few times. After i arrive and had coffee and opening the shop, i saw an article on WeChat moment about the movie Farewell My Concubine, it was talking about its filming process, about how crazy and nuts it is and i need to say that is one of my favourite movie of all time and i need to shot one like that one day, probably about how Devon coping with Mina’s death (she can’t and will kill her self). The article was really good it has many behind the scenes research in it. I sent it to mom, she said it was good but soon changed the subject to the neighbourhood bull dog’s seizure attack, the owner says possible cause by brain inflammation or whatever that disease is called, the owner is still processing the bad news and she called my mom crying last night because the dog had another seizure attack, she want to give the dog medication for a week and if he turns out fine she will continue the treatment, but if not she needs to take the dog to have a MRI. Mom says she can’t immediately dump all the information to the owner because mom doesn’t want to take the responsibilities of misinforming and does want to give the owner too much pressure. Which i can understand and respect.

09:35

The bull dog owner is very affective by how others perceive her. Once she took the dog to underground parking lot for a stroll because of the summer heat, some neighbour saw them and quads like “why are you walking the dog here its sunny outside!”, and now she takes the dog for a walk five in the morning because its cool outside. Mom’s comment: “what’s more important? 66’s well-being or others comments?”

09:51

Mom told me to tell dad and mr wang to restock milk, she said just report the number and don’t make any decision. She will visit 66(the bull dog) and his family tonight when I’m at home with Dave.

12:39

heating up food at the moment. Lunch: chicken steak and squash.

16:18

It looks like its gonna rain. I couldn’t finish the lunch. A guy asked for direction of washroom and i told him and lend him the key card but the receptionist tells me that we are forbids to do that. Later he bought a cup of latte. I read 2666 for a while and felt got the morb. I’m sweating. I had my second cup of coffee. After a few minutes a woman in white shirt came by, asked if cappuccino is 23 yuan, i said yes and she tried to order 6 cups of them but later changed her. Ind because the cups we are using are not suitable for her situation, where she wants to give them to her clients. I was scrolling through cptsd memes and i realized that when I first had penetrative masturbation I didn’t bleed or feel pain, it was weird and i talked about this to darling. Later i made a copy pasta about wanting to have sex with vulpes. It got no upvote but downvotes. I now just had my second lunch and wasn’t able to finish it, tried to open a bottle of soda and it made a deafening sound. I was startled. I sit on the step to the display refrigerator for a while and being tired and exhausted for no reasons, I’m forcing myself to write this diary. The chicken steak was too salty

16:29

A woman and her companion is complaining really loudly in the cafe area.

16:34

I realize the complaining woman is the other receptionist, the fat one.

21:15

I just had shower and finished my skin care routine. Tonight we had Cantonese bbq pork, tofu and mushroom stew, fungus I don’t know the name of with vinegar, and stir fry bok-cho for dinner. Before dinner I watched serial experiment lain for a while. Dad is happy today and I organized my earring and stuff after dinner, then took a walk.

[firedragon1321]

On Tonight's Episode of NaNoWriMo!

(Disclaimer- I'm insane and have done this for nine years. Do not use my wordcounts as standard.)

First- 10,000 word mark passed baby! And oh, what words!

For context for people who don't follow me and/or care- everyone in Joran's world has a timer on their hand that counts down to when they meet their soulmate. Unknown to most people, the timer contains a brain fungus that forces the soulmates to fall in love. It also prevents them from being too far apart from each other physically, or they will die of heartbreak. Joran doesn't know this (yet), but he is anxious about it anyway. He's figured out how to manipulate the timer, but is not an expert on how that works.

Now, for tonight's additions-

Joran and his friend Teosur (everyone has weird names) host a movie fundraiser at their school, so Joran can get the TV he needs to play the magic video cassette he found earlier in the story

Joran's timer randomly hits almost shit bottom because his soulmate is outside

The local mean girl notices the timer and makes a big fucking deal out of it (justified because meeting your soulmate is considered a rite of passage)

Joran decides "fuck this shit, I'm out"

He barely manages to get away, gets home, and takes a nap. He's emotionally exhausted.

At least his timer's up to a healthy six months. He's succeeded in avoiding his soulmate- for now.

But the real crown jewel of the night? This right here (note- this is the drunken monkey draft and will change in wording a bit)-

"Joran thrust the door open. As he stumbled through, he stepped on his own loose shoelace. He fell face-first to the wet grass. His knee felt tender, but he pushed it aside. Joran propped himself up, then kept running. His left foot was bare. Joran didn’t dare turn back to check on his sneaker. Time was more valuable than his shoe."

THE FUCKING CINDERELLA SYMBOLISM I WESDFHIWJQAWDSFHKNS<ASDFIHK. This came from nowhere and I want to eat it with a spoon. Considering that meeting your "true love" is becoming so dependent on them psychologically and physiologically that you can't function on your own, I don't know where this came from. But I'm addicted to it.

[autistickaitovocaloid]

Day at the gallery with @ryoki-ph + @beananium

[commanderfoxdeservesbetter]

Fox learns from the months how to trick his stomach into thinking it’s full, eating slower and slower to some like it’s more food than not (repeating the same chewing motion outside of eating times to trick his brain because how is it supposed to know there’s no food going down his throat)

For the jobs, They don’t ask and Fox doesn’t give himself away; instead, he’s taken to hiding himself behind glasses, masks, makeup even; he once even gave himself a new scar on his face to set his self apart from the persona (because that’s all it is now) of Coruscant Guard Marshall Commander

What gives him away past all his disguises is his skills and survival instincts; you can’t fake perfection and Fox, no matter how hard he tries, can’t not be good at his job

Most employers sneer the name, thinking he’s there to bust them but others are indifferent, a few apologetic, because they can tell he needs it but they prioritize the privacy and eyes away from their work than a mere measly clone (even if that clone is one Commander Fox)

Living on the streets does no good to Fox’s physical and mental health

He can’t shower every day like before (not that he really did either but he at least had the opportunity to shower every few days) and the places are gross and grimy and keeping socks on for over a month without washing (even if to prevent stepping on places worse than dirty socks) still gives Fox’s toes the trouble of nail fungus

He cries the minute he clipped off half his toe nail due to the nail coming off from the bed of skin

Alongside that, while clones were made to be perfect specimen, there’s only so much abuse the body can handle before it starts to give out

Fox’s eyesight begins to decrease with each night he doesn’t sleep (added on top of the 3 years of having to work off-comm missions and his own duties as Commander) and by the end of the first year on the street, his eye sight is shot to hell

He can still do his job though. Muscle memory needs nothing but the familiar action to get him through the day but what use is that skill when no one will keep him for a job

Fox is good at pretending (he’s been pretending his whole life if he thinks too hard about it) and so it’s easy to hide his struggles behind his brothers, to focus only on them and their successes and what they’re doing

To get them off his track, he might mention tv shows (he’s never watch of course) he’s heard about on the streets that are popular right now and let the Vod’e make their own assumptions

After all it’s easy for them to do so when he doesn’t add much and they won’t ever think the worst (how many now think he’s a movie-holic and chat to him about movies they think he might like) Fox is glad he said he hates movie theaters else he’s sure his brothers would invite him every time there’s a new movie out and Fox would surely go broke then (he doesn’t want to be found out just yet and not by that reason - oh how embarrassing)

Fox’s throat starts getting itchy on the seven month of being on the streets and doesn’t go away no matter how much water he drinks at the bars and he wonders if maybe it’s a sign of sickness except it does nothing but ruin his voice a little but what does he need that for? It’s not like he talks much to anyone anyway

Fox doesn’t realize that’s the first sign that gave him away to the Vod’e that something isn’t quite right (it wouldn’t be until 8 more months that they learn the truth)

Fox being homeless AU is on my mind

The war ended and he was relieved of his job and maybe he was given some credits to start his life but everyone knew of the Commander Fox and so no one would hire him for any jobs

He struggles to make a living, maybe not even enough for rent, that he has to find places to sleep at

Maybe paying enough to afford a membership at a gym and he stays there to shower and maybe if he’s lucky, overnight to sleep

Or crashing on vod’s couches when they hang out, not too much to arise suspicion but enough times to get a nice couch to lay on instead of the ground

He stays late in bars when out with the boys, only getting water because how often can he stay somewhere alone and just get water?

He scavenges for food in the dumpsters or trash cans, at first only at night because he was embarrassed and then slowly scavenging in the day time because all the good food is taken by night fall or he can’t see or it’s not enough or it’s covered in ants

He has a bag - small, almost like a backpack - that he carries with him everywhere that holds his necessities. Toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, a tiny towel, medicine, his ID, credits when he has some, and his comm

He never stays at one place too long, always changing, sometimes not even going to sleep some nights

He has canned food in his bag along with plastic silverware, available to eat a can a day

Maybe when going out with his batch or the other Corries who are doing good in life, they don’t know what he goes through, they don’t notice how much more tired he is or how thin he’s become

After all, he’s not plague by Darth Sidious anymore and it’s easier for Fox to fake a smile and pretend when his very soul isn’t being sucked out anymore

So he smiles and he laughs and he does care about the Corries and his batch and the other CCs and how they’re doing so it’s not like he’s pretending all the time

Maybe not drinking most nights when out with the excuse that drinking makes him remember the bad and it’s not as fun as it used to be and they respect his decision

Maybe poke fun at how much water he drinks - when the boys are out dancing, he’ll pour water into his water bottle or a traveling cup, something to take with him after the night

He eats what the Vod won’t finish, always waiting for the leftovers that they don’t want and won’t take home after they’ve paid because it’s the only food he’ll get that’s not canned food

None of the Vod’e notice how little he contributes with what’s going on with his life, not when Fox is so good at asking questions and getting them to talk

He truly is happy for them so even when Jedi get invited, they don’t notice anything off

They don’t notice when it’s all time for them to head out to their own places that he never takes up on one of the vod’s offer to be driven home or that sometimes he’ll take the offer of a couch to crash on most times it’s offered even if he doesn’t drink

It’s truly, to them, baffling and almost disbelieving to learn one day that Fox is homeless and has been for the past year or so

He’s so good at keeping it hidden, making sure to never be near them during day time, sticking to the libraries to catch up on reading or the gym to take showers - sometimes staying there when it’s raining really hard

If he has the credits, he’ll even stay at fast food restaurants, eating the cheapest thing with a water and staying there for hours and hours on end

Fox applies for jobs every day, from digital applications to going in person, and each time they realize it’s the Commander Fox, he never gets chosen for the next step

Sometimes it’s obvious why they don’t choose him. Other times they’ll be nice and lie and say it’s for another reason

He eats only one can a day and during the cold months, when credits are super hard to get by, it might be one can every couple of days

Dex is nice and will sometimes have him sit and order food, saying it’s on the house, even says Fox can come there anytime or if he wants a job, Dex will find a position

Fox will only go there when his situation turns dire like no food or no place to stay. He worked there for a time but even he noticed when customers refused to talk to him all because of his name. He refused to take Dex down with him and quit, lied about having found another job despite Fox knowing Dex knows it’s a lie

[ponydanza-in-a-canza]

got any interesting Spirk headcanons?

Yes!! Well I have a couple.

1. James T Kirk is an alcoholic. Mainly cause I'm an alcoholic but. I like to do a lil movie fusion here with Georgie boy dying in the Kelvin but with the extra additional spice of Tarsus IV happening. Also, good ole jimbo is from the midwest, an area of the USA notorious for booze and alcoholism. But part of him joining starfleet was pike saying "dude, cmon. Your liver is begging you for mercy and you are so smart. Be smart." Anyway as an alcoholic I struggle with being sober, so finding a soulmate in a guy who doesnt drink but understands why people drink is so important!!! so i like to imagine when kirk starts having bad nights, when chekov's locker is lookin a lil too interesting, spock gently takes his bf and asks kirk to tell him stories about Iowa. These stories range from the villisca axe murders, to why Iowa corn is better for livestock feed than illinois corn is, that one time he drove Frank's 400 (I cant count it might only be 300) year old vintage car into a quarry bc he hadnt seen his mom in months, to sam helping him get into his first barfight, to him testing out of his grade because being born in the black truly gave this clown a galaxy brain. It's the reminder of the intricacies of life that help spock hold jim accountable and healthy :')

2. Spock and kirk are the godparents to Bones' daughter, Joanna. It was like a retroactive thing, but those two are the fun uncles that swoop in and take the kiddo for a weekend whenever bones cant bc of a medical emergency.

3. The Kirk Farm is still a working farm, where kirk gets to show spock how they test the soil, and spock immediately breaks it down into the most minute science that Kirk just basically puts the farm in Spock's name. People accuse Kirk of letting Vulcans Take Over Earth. Kirk just holds up his yields and goes "weve never had yields this massive before, I'm honoring IDIC and yall can suck my Enterprise Sized Dick" (he gets yelled at for said statement, and threatened with demotion until the United Federation of Planets learns their crops are resilient to the strain of fungus that causes the Tarsus incident)

4.) Spock is SUPER tactile when they're alone. Like. Think cat who's convinced if they dont get chin scratches They Will Die. So Jim has to learn how to do his morning and evening routines with this leech of a vulcan hanging off him. Spock could be slouched over his shoulders, maybe some fingers gripping the inside of his elbow, jim is laying in bed and getting headbutted until he runs his fingers through spock's hair, etc. This also applies to melds, which spock will sometimes initiate while Jim's dreaming (and Jim's dreams are just making out with spock on various places on the enterprise and on planets theyve visited together)

[braintasting]

The Girl With All the Gifts

This is another entry in the zombie/family/n subgenre. It's kind of eerily close to The Last Of Us, but in a way that doesn't seem like a copy (though who would be copying who is a question; it's a 2016 film, older than the TV series but three years after the first video game). Fungus overtakes brains as vegetation overtakes cities ... there's a "found' family that's actually sort of sweet ... vaccines are important ... networked behavior is important.

The movie offers up some more interesting questions than the TV show, or even Train to Busan. Both of those stories centered "family" as the relationship between parent and child. This one has the sort-of surrogate parenthood of teacher and student, but winds up centering "family" in a larger sense, a continuity between generations. It's less ecological than The Last of Us, but more genealogical. Children are our future.

This is an exploration that really started with That One Scene in Night of the Living Dead and that George Romero has seemed to get much more interested in as the sequels go on. The question there is, I suppose, the ultimate nihilistic one: If there is no future, if "nothing" is all there is, then how can there be "something"? Why is time still moving us onward?

I suppose this counts as a spoiler, but this film is probably the most intelligent and sympathetic examination I've yet seen of "the Bubba," the zombie that shows signs of thought. The hope that something human can remain even after death claims the body.

It's the next step along in the Hegelian process, or the all-consuming negation, that gives us the zombie to being with. Neither alive nor dead means you're undead. Neither undead nor not-undead means ... what? A mindful mindlessness?

The closing scene of this is unlike any zombie film I've seen, and is really sort of brilliant, because it's not entirely clear if it's bleak or hopeful.

The main actress, who has to be all of what, 10? 12? (Wikipedia says 13), pulls off the perfect combination of wide-eyed innocence and feral violence that parents and teachers will recognize as what childhood really is, only escalated just a tiny bit. There are a few scenes that seem borrowed from Lord of the Flies or Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome. Then again, there are others that seem influenced by the art-house kaiju film Monsters, which, like this one, tried to imagine some kind of human society surviving once a new apex predator knocks Homo sapiens down a rung or two. "The Girl With All the Gifts" in this story is Pandora; whether she's the bringer of monsters or of hope is a question that only be answered with "neither, and both." Schrodinger's Cat is mentioned early on in the film, and the paradox is played out with every human relationship, neither this nor that yet both this AND that. I'll be thinking about this for a while, I can tell.

[akiwuff]

Okay, sure. Beauty and the Beast is one of my favorite animated movies, and yeah the Beast has a lot to do with that. Even so, I love the themes in this movie and I can appreciate both of his forms for what they are in this context.

My problem isn't with the fact that he turns back. It's the absolutely UGLY shading and coloring they gave his model in the reveal shot that just completely ruined the look of his human design. After almost 90mins of growing with and learning to love this character, the very first impression you get of him as a human is so jarring and awkward.

This is not sexy, and you cannot convince me otherwise.

On the other hand, here's a still from Glen Keane's original pencil test:

Look at that! The dynamic lighting, the soft yet handsome look of his face with accurate proportions. The tasteful curve of titty

Friday Night Sleepover gives a great breakdown of the technical reasons for why the final version looks so off-putting, but the TLDR is the choices that were made during the cleanup and color phases of this scene. Beauty and the Beast was a very rushed production by Disney standards, and if you watch closely enough you can spot a lot of goofy and off-model moments throughout the film. It's just unfortunate that such a crucial scene in the movie suffered from this as well.

I'm willing to bet a lot of people who say they hate the Beast's human form had it ruined for them by this shot. I think his human form is incredibly hot when drawn right, but it's still fun to dunk on in the context of that reveal. I may be a furry and a monster fucker, but first and foremost I'm a fan of good art and animation.

Anyway I get the original post was moreso for people who just have the brain fungus of monster=hot / human=ugly, but I wanted to throw in some nuance because this is a topic I'm passionate about.

I will never understand the human!beast hate he was HANDSOME!!!! he was CUTE!!!! He had that luscious hair and eyebrows!!! you guys just hate chins and noses wth!!!

[moldy-mold]

July Blog I occasionally have a social life.

My friends from different states came together to visit for July 4! It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other - probably since before pandemic times. We did the usual, getting takeout at the recommended food spots, going hiking, playing games. We finally had a self care day, which is what everyone desperately needed:

We jumped in a freezing cold river, watched ducks, soaked up the sun. I was born and raised in the sunshine state, meaning I am a creature of the water. Every summer, my fellow Floridians and I long for our hometown beaches. I’ve never considered swimming in the rivers so this was my first time. It was cold, numbingly cold. But the river’s current pushing at my back, being in the open water and surrounded by trees and wildlife with hardly anyone around was definitely a profound experience.

We ended our self-care day with boba tea, face masks and John Wick. Nothing like sharing a relaxing spa time with Keanu Reeves.

Compilation of other things we did. I feel like all we did was eat...

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Uhhhhhh......... I have more because I lack self-control.

I can explain... Our local park started hosting a farmer’s market so my roommate and I wanted to check it out. It also has a greenhouse / plant store. Its caretaker is a grandpa whose name is Art. The guy just really loves plants and just wants to keep growing new things.

I first established my relationship with Art when he gave me an offshoot of his super huge and old Christmas cactus. I didn’t have cash on me so he said, “just take it and pay me back the next time you visit.” Two weeks later, I returned to him with the cash.

My cactus is about 3 years old now and he blooms hot pink flowers every Christmas. His name is Kiryu. I have given some of Kiryu’s offspring to my parents and my friends.

Back to the present... Enchanted by the new and exotic additions to the greenhouse, I could not resist. Luckily Art was there, still planting it up. I told him about Kiryu and he was happy to hear that my cactus was doing well. He gave me my plants for pretty much chump change when they can go for $25+. He even repotted them in new pots for me. Art is the best plant grandpa.

Sooo without further ado, say hello to Ferdinand, the Cosmic Delight Caladium!

And a warm welcome to Raven, the Flamingo Feather Celosia! Hard to kill, easy to please. Disappears every winter, but returns every summer.

And here is cat grass! You don’t get a name because you are a sacrifice!

Rokurou the Venus Flytrap caught his first fly! Had to take a picture. You’re doing great, sweetie. 🥺

Lorenz is doing ok. He suffered from white fungus thanks to the nighttime showers and lingering humidity. SERIOUSLY, DUDE? Anyway I’m keeping him inside at night for recuperation. I spray his leaves with a soap formula to kill the fungus.

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Finished watching...

Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex ✦✦✧ What if we lived in a world in which people have cyber-brains and prosthetic bodies? If we are made of machines, then how do we retain our sense of self? The show explores these kinds of questions. Super interesting.

Sk8 ✦✦✧ Soooooo cute but kind of unhinged. Best sports anime in recent times.

Gundam: Hathaway’s Flash ✦✧✧ Finally. Tbh, I was underwhelmed by it, but I know it’s only one piece of a whole series of movies so I’ll still hang on for the rest. The animation was sooooo good though. I do give it props for showing us in detail what happens when you’re a civilian caught below a mobile suit battle. It was terrifying and well done.

Giant Robo OVA ✦✦✧ Animation was really really good. A show about the world’s energy problems and how it was solved in the distant future. Its plot is like a cousin to Cyborg 009.

Carmen Sandiego ✦✦✦ Solid show for kids and adults. We are all in love with Shadowsan (ok maybe it’s just me). Screamed at the ending.

Castlevania ✦✦✧ It was so cute and then it got really freaky in here and then it was cute again.

Demon Slayer (2nd watch for the legendary ENG dub cast) ✦✦✧ Ufotable delivers the most amazing sword fights. I forgot how cute the boys were. Zenitsu’s VA (Aleks Le) was SOOO GOOD even tho he was screaming 70% of the time. I hope his throat is okay honestly. Also really satisfied that Johnny Yong Bosch is Giyu lol.

Angel’s Egg OVA ✦✦✧ It made sense sometimes but most of the time it’s ???????? Kinda freaky imagery. Superb animation.

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This Month’s Shower Thought Why did I get into comics?

I never considered myself a comic artist but looking back, I did get serious about it (aka, putting more effort in) when I was in high school. Maybe I watched/read some serious plots and wanted to create some crazy story of my own. The thing with me is that I never had OC’s. I always drew fanart or drew my friends from school and placed them into difficult situations.

In college, after reading Gekkan Shoujou Nozaki-kun I was inspired to do less angsty comics and switch to comedy. I wondered what made me choose to be “funny.” I was not a funny person. In fact, I was quite miserable during that time. It was an escape, perhaps...

What makes people funny? Is it something that is always within you, waiting to be unleashed or is it a social pattern you pick up on?

I was thinking it had to do with self-confidence. At a certain point in my life, the inhibitor switch kinda turned off in my brain and some ridiculous things come out when I’m talking. I didn’t care if it was embarrassing or stupid. Now it’s applied to my comics.

It might even be as simple as, “it makes me chuckle, so I like it. I will keep doing it.”