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justaboutsnapped · 7 months ago

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Why you shouldn’t support the upcoming game Black Myth: Wukong

Simply put, the creators behind Black Myth: Wukong are raging misogynists.

Founders and creatives of the studio have:

Joked about former female employees hypothetically doing prostitution

Used suggestive/objectifying/derogatory imagery & phrasing in their hiring flyers (under the cut), e.g. “In addition to hookup buddies, we promise to provide more thoughtful services” , “fatties fuck off”, etc.

Written entire think pieces on how video games don’t need female players or developers, how women are biologically inclined towards “softer” modes of gaming than men (there’s also a bit of homophobia mixed in through language such as “fuck sissies”), how some things should just be made for men, etc. “Fuck sissies, fuck tragic love stories, fuck moon-lit peach blossoms and flute-playing scholars! You don't need the reverse motivation of female players, you don't need to take care of those worms who just want to date chicks. Some things are just for men, their depression, their anger, their pain...”

Made numerous sexually explicit (& honestly incel-like) comments including ones about a female character in Black Myth: Wukong, e.g. “once you get used to this [character design] you can jerk off to it”, etc.

Boasted about how they’re losing followers, who must be women

To no one’s surprise, when people criticise the studio online, they’re met with vitriol about how they’re hypersensitive feminists, too politically correct, etc.

Chinese women have been YELLING non-stop on social media about how bad it is so it’s pretty depressing to see that a lot of non-Chinese gamers, even after reading an IGN article covering the situation, are apathetic. I get that a lot of people are excited about the novelty of a soulslike game based on Chinese mythology, but do you really want to support a studio that actively contributes towards and benefits from misogynistic gaming culture?

Talking about separating the artist from their art is bullshit if you're financially supporting them. Boycott! Pirate!

Here are some sources if you want to see detailed translations, learn more about the situation as well as the misogynistic gaming culture at large China:

#black myth wukong #black myth: wukong #gaming #video games #soulslike #misogyny #sexism #em speaks

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nerdvi · 1 year ago

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In the wake of the whole james somerton fiasco and inspired by this post, I wanted to share a few of my um, soft signs, like, orange flags to detect when someone is bullshitting you.

First of all, I am on the spectrum which means 1) I tend to take what people say at face value and 2) I have a strong sense of justice which makes me prone to biases, all of which combined means I am at perpetual risk of swallowing the bullshit.

So, what to do about it? You turn on the critical thinking and pay attention.

As one of my favorite youtubers, Hannah Alonzo, likes to say: "consider the source, remember the motive". Who is talking to you?? What do you know about them?? What biases might they have?? How do they interact with your own biases?? Where are they talking from?? Is it anger?? happinness? boredom?? Also, why are they talking to you? Are they trying to sell you something?? Are they trying to convince you and why?? How do they go about the finantial motivation, if present? If you have, in this case, a white cis gay man talking to you as it he has it the worst of the worst in the world, there's probably some exaggeration and you should start to wonder. There's a good chance he's bullshitting you.

How they talk about women and POC No, no, stay with me. There's a rule I had back when I was dating men: Always beware of how they treat their mother. With the exception of extremes like mama's boys and cases of abuse, how a man treats the woman with whom they have that familial bond is a good indicator of how they are going to treat you. Do they berate her? speak ill of her? are aggressive or controlling? do they dismiss her opinions? Same with creators, and by god I tell you, specially cis male creators, queer or otherwise, always always beware of how they speak of women, how they treat women, how they treat POC. Somerton had a weird vendetta against straight women. It went mostly unnoticed. Then, he was dismissive towards lesbians and other queer women and it was once again overlooked. Then he went ahead and made sinophobic content about genres and cultures he knows NOTHING about. Again, it went unchecked. What I am telling you is IT'S NOT NORMAL. Contempt about women and non white-western cultures is not normal and if someone has them as them as an enemy or a scapegoat, they're probably bullshitting you. Take what they say and fact check it, see for yourself.

If at any point in a video or an essay you find yourself thinking "wait, really??" then it's time to fact check. Is it a bit suspicious?? is your logic telling you that's not quite how this works?? Then take to google, my friend, they might be bullshitting you. At worst, you dodge a fake fact, at best, you learn way too much about a topic you were already interested in.

Beware of the lack of nuance. I can not stress this enough. We all love monochrome, but life and societal issues are never black and white. It's just impossible, there's too many factors to consider. If you are being presented situations or anecdotes as absolute truths, you're probably being bullshitted. If it's too good to be true, it is. If it sounds waaay too convenient, it probably is. A good researcher, a serious investigator, will always have some nuance because they have done the work and checked the sources. If someone provides you 1) no nuance and 2) no sources, THEY'RE BULLSHITTING YOU.

These are the ones I can come up with just of the top of my head, I'm sure there's more and please, add them. Remember that naivité isn't a crime, I'm fairly naive and that's made me distrustful, and these are some of the techniques I've found that help me navigate through a world of information without losing myself.

#james somerton #hbomberguy #plagiarism

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hauntedhouseghost · 27 days ago

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Misogyny in Shifting Criticism

If you’ve heard about “Reality Shifting” but (like me) aren’t yourself involved in the community, it’s probably been presented to you as a TikTok trend amongst teenage girls obsessed with Harry Potter that emerged in response to the COVID-19 lockdown in 2020. The most generous critics have framed it as an online game of pretend amongst bored quarantined teenagers; the harshest have sounded the alarm that reality shifting is a psychosis. This alarmist reaction to a trend amongst teenage girls exploring their sexuality through such a benign thing as fantasizing about Draco Malfoy was suspicious. I thought they were wrong, but I didn’t know enough about Shifting to know for sure.

Social media in general seems to have become increasingly conservative since 2020. I see Dark Academia and Cottagecore as connected to today’s BookTok and Trad Wife (through shared aesthetics and hobbies), both of which have been criticized as anti-feminist and anti-intellectual. I wanted to see if Shifting would fit into that pattern and have a more conservative 2024 offshoot. After learning more about Shifting, I have found that:

As expected, shifting criticism is almost always laced with misogyny

It doesn’t have a conservative offshoot, but it is ideologically connected to New Ageism and the “conspirituality” wave that has swelled since COVID first hit.

Misogyny in Discussions of Shifting

People always shit on whatever teenage girls are into, and this is just another example of that. The mindset that teenage girls are vapid/gross/stupid/etc has misinterpreted Shifting as a solo endeavor, a TikTok trend, and a mental illness. Here’s why they’re wrong:

Even though people might practice Shifting alone, it’s still a very communal practice. As researcher Sarah Perez writes:

“...to call reality shifting ‘solitary’ misses the continuous exchange of stories, tips, motivational messages and more…—making the practice highly social” (“Through the Looking Glass” 298).

Connecting to the above: “shifter” refers to anyone who believes in and practices shifting, not just people who have themselves shifted. Researcher Sara A. Kumar found that only 78.7% of self-identified shifters have experienced a successful shift (“Through the Looking Glass,” 299).

While shifting does involve seeing/hearing/smelling/feeling/etc things that others cannot, those experiences only happen when a person intends them to. In psychotic disorders, people cannot control their engagement with/break from reality.

Lots of religions have developed within fandoms online. Others have focused on Jedis, the Matrix, or The Lord of the Rings. What sets shifting apart is its association with young women. Interestingly, another fandom religion that got mocked a lot is SnapeWives. Also, Snape is probably appealing for very similar reasons as Draco—both are quite tortured and feminine-coded—but that's a separate tangent.

I was looking at YouTube shifting criticism and found this gem:

What's fascinating is that this guy's whole account is dedicated to videos about lucid dreaming!!! In this video, he calls [air quotes] “reality shifters” "weird," "insane," and "fucking annoying" and says “Reality shifting is just bullshit, it’s just a dream" (1:30-34). He characterizes shifters as all wanting to go to Hogwarts and “fuck Draco Malfoy” (at 1:15-17). The top comment reads: “Reality shifting is the astrology of lucid dreaming.” Astrology is another New Age spiritualist belief that is generally disparaged by outsiders and is also associated with young women. However, as a wise person once Twote:

With shifting, could we say that lucid dreaming is the version of “reality shifting” that is acceptable to men?

6. Another video I found is called “'Reality Shifting': How the Tiktok Teens are Giving Themselves Psychosis” (by Nicholas Black). In this, the YouTuber says (at 2:04-16) “It was a TikTok on Reels with a teenage girl claiming that she shifted realities so she could become Draco’s girlfriend.” He then shows a video along those lines, and afterwards says “You can imagine I was concerned.” Other videos on his page are titled in similarly misogynistic and panicky ways:

“Are Booktok girlies “corn” addicts?”

“Instagram won’t stop recommending me Tradwife Reels”

“When TikTok users get ahold of words they don’t understand”. The example of such a word given in the thumbnail is “Male Gaze,” which is connected by an arrow to the winking eye of a stock image white man. Beside this is the text: “Please actually read Laura Mulvey’s theory. I’m begging you.”

All of these position him as superior to whoever his video focuses on, and he seems to focus on women/women's sub-cultures a lot.

New Age & Philosophical Roots

Western philosophy focuses on skepticism, as in Descartes’s “I think, therefore I am.” This idea that our perception of reality is uncertain underlies conspiracy thinking (ex: QAnon), vaccine denialism, and reality shifting.

Authors Beres, Remski, and Walker coined the term "conspirituality" to refer to the combo of conspiracy thinking and New Age spirituality (think: QAnon believers who rely on healing crystals to protect themselves from COVID and psychic vampires or whatever). They define the central tenets of conspirituality as:

Nothing happens by accident

Nothing is as it seems

Everything is connected

In “Granola Fascism” (ContraPoints, at 37:51-38:06) she says, “New Age and conspiracy thinking share a hunger for meaning. They feel that all of reality should be comprehensible to the intuition of any individual human mind. This is a way of seeing that is epistemically empowering.” These emotional needs that drive people to conspiracy theorizing also drive young people to ShiftTok (and shifting content elsewhere). Of course, there are other appeals of ShiftTok - creative expression, escapism, community. Those and its main demographic are what distinguish ShiftTok, but at its core is still this search for narrative meaning and agency.

How psychologically different really are shifting and ideas about the “deep state”? What differentiates them is their emotional ~flavor~. QAnon believers of a secret deep state cabal of pedophiles craft a reality around soothing fear. Shifting can craft realities around soothing depression and hopelessness. They are both removals from, not engagements in, reality. Some shifters’ Desired Reality is just like this one, but without climate change, or just like this one, but with their family unaffected by depression. In response to the question “Why do people come back to their cr?” one Redditor said this:

Conclusion!!!

Shifting is actually super interesting!

Fandoms generate actual religions/spiritual practices that aren't any less plausible than older, established religions

Teenage girls can't do anything without people pathologizing it or acting like it's freakish and bad

#this is a college assignment #for a wgs class #shifting #reality shifting

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theblackfemininesociety · 5 months ago

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Girl Talk: Stop Comparing Yourself to Unrealistic Beauty Standards.

We just want all of our besties to see this video and take into account that 90% of the beauty standards and images you see that is pushed by the media isn’t real.

And this is with no shade: Jodie Joe, the face of fashion nova, has had surgery and it’s still photoshopped, altered and edited in realtime to make her look a certain way.

Stop comparing.

Stop consuming.

Stop trying to fit the mold when you were designed to break it.

Choose health and fitness over aesthetics. Prioritize your well-being, focusing on nourishing your body, staying active, and reprogram your mind to have a positive mindset.

Why?

Because true beauty radiates from within, and when you feel strong and healthy, it reflects in your confidence and energy.

Set realistic goals, celebrate your progress, and surround yourself with supportive communities that uplift and motivate you.

💌 A love letter to my BFS Ladies:

Here at BFS, while we adore sharing moodboards and celebrating outer beauty and fashion, we want to remind you that your journey in femininity and healed womanhood is about so much more. The true goal is healing, inner confidence and growth. Becoming the woman you aspire to be should transcend your outward appearance.

This journey is a mindset and a lifestyle that not only embodies the essence of a soft life but also breaks generational curses and defies stereotypes often placed upon Black women. It’s about nurturing yourself and starting a journey of self-discovery.

Your God-given superpower as a woman lies in this transformative work. Don’t just look the part—embrace the full, life-changing experience. Don’t cheat yourself from the profound growth and healing and real purpose that awaits you.

With love and inspiration,

The BFS Team 💋

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kingkatsuki · 2 years ago

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Imagining Mitsuki trying to play matchmaker

And maybe she’s done that before, thrown girls at her son hoping he’ll hit it off with one of them and give her grandchildren. But it just royally pisses him off and he wants nothing to do with any of them. Then maybe she gives up for a while

But booooyyyyy oh boy, if you’ve caught his eye and she notices? She may not have introduced you, but she’ll make it happen. Just trying to help him out ya know?

She’d have to be as subtle about it as possible though. I could see him pushing you away just to spite her, even if he was head over heels for you.

I got a little carried away talking about this, but I just love the idea of Mitsuki meaning well, but never quite getting it right.

Warnings: Mitsuki tries to play matchmaker.

Word Count: 1.6k.

It isn’t that Mitsuki wants to force him into a relationship, she means well. She doesn’t like the thought of him coming home to an empty apartment each night, especially because she’s one of the few people who know about his night terrors. She’s been on the receiving end of many a call at four in the morning where he’s calling to make sure everything’s okay, or hearing him as a young man screaming in the night when he wakes up from another one of those nightmares. And although she’s taught him well, never needing to learn to cook, clean or use a washing machine— some companionship can’t hurt.

There was a time that Mitsuki thought that Bakugou wasn’t searching for love— that he’d already found it. His cheeks turning a violent red when she’d suggested that he was dating Kirishima, immediately reassuring him that she wouldn’t love him any less and that she’s happy he’s found someone as Bakugou tried to set her straight.

It isn’t that she ignores Bakugou when he says he’s not looking. She’s just worried, and maybe she’s right. Maybe he is lonely, and could use someone to help fill that void between work and sleep.

A mother can always tell, after all.

But Mitsuki’s methods can be a little unorthodox. Masaru tries to tell her not to meddle, that their son will find love when he wants to. On his terms, when he’s good and ready. But now he’s pushing thirty, not even a tabloid based rumour about a girlfriend and she starts to get antsy.

The window for grandchildren is slowly closing, and the hope is diminishing so of course she has to take matters into her own hands. It’s for Bakugou’s benefit, it’s like she’s doing him a favour.

At first Mitsuki is trying to set him up with someone based on attributes, wealth, success, career goals. Even though it’s difficult trying to find someone as motivated and strong as her son, she knows there are thousands upon thousands of women out there that would love to date him.

And poor Bakugou would prefer to be doing anything else with his time, sitting in his boxers playing video games and sipping a beer sounds far better than a twelve course dinner with portions so small he’s got to cook at home after. Especially with women he could care less about, listening to them drone on at him about their meaningless lives while he picks at his hors d'oeuvre two courses in.

No matter how perfect these women seem on paper, how compatible they are based on personality tests and star signs the dates never work out.

When this tactic doesn’t work, Mitsuki still won’t give up. Working in the fashion industry for as long as she has means she’s got a phone book full of gorgeous women. Personalities may not match up, but however bias it may sound she knows her son is an attractive man. So it’s easy to scroll through her contacts to find an array of women who would jump at the chance of a date with the Number Two Hero (also another benefit she slips in to conversation).

Bakugou tugs at the black tie around his neck as he stands awkwardly in the corner of another one of his mothers networking parties. Wondering how at 29 he’s still subjected to this kind of misery, thinking this would have stopped well into his teenage years. Groaning internally when he can see her out of the corner of his eye dragging a pretty young woman towards him. He knows the drill, knows exactly what that old hag is up to as she gives him a warning glare that only he can see. Turning to the poor girl with a faux sincere smile as she introduces her to him, her hand tightening around his forearm in warning as he offers his hand out to the poor girl.

But as quickly as Mitsuki arrived she’s gone, pretending to wave at someone in the crowd as she excuses herself and leaves Bakugou standing alone with this woman. Listening to her begin to rattle off ad campaigns or endorsements she’s been involved in like he gives a fuck, and talking about how many offers she’s received for her next one. It’s all he can do not to tell her that he doesn’t care and walk off as he notices that old hag watching from across the room as he throws back his whiskey and excuses himself to the bar. At least there’s enough alcohol to drown out the pain and suffering his mother is currently inflicting on him.

Mitsuki’s quick to join him, wine glass in hand, as she asks what he thinks and gushes about how pretty and perfect she is.

“Yeah? So why don’t you date ‘er then?” Bakugou scoffs as his mother rolls her eyes and he can tell if there were fewer people in the room she would’ve hit him upside the head by now.

It’s exhausting.

Groaning as he collapses into bed to find one new text message from the girl he’d been introduced to hours earlier. Knowing that his interfering mother had clearly given his phone number out— again.

But when perfect matches, and pretty faces don’t work Mitsuki changes tactic. After that, it’s just anyone.

Bakugou could be saying thank you to a girl in a coffee shop whilst he’s out running errands and Mitsuki is asking if she wants to go on a date with her son— she already had a boyfriend. Or the kind waitress at lunch who gave him a little extra spice in his ramen— she wasn’t interested in men. And even one time where Bakugou stopped to let a lady onto the train before him— she ended up posting about it all over social media before he’d even arranged the first date.

Deep down, there’s never anyone Bakugou truly wants. Dates are done out of obligation, and spending a few hours taking someone out for food or drinks means his mother is off his back for a few weeks or a few months depending on how well he can hide the immediate break up.

It’s a few months later when Bakugou realises the true lengths of how far his mother is willing to go to get him married off. He’s given a short, curt answer about his last break up. A “relationship” that Mitsuki thinks lasted for six months, but really there wasn’t even a third date. He’s out for drinks with the guys after work when Mina shoves her phone in his face, drunkenly squealing about how she didn’t realise he was trying to date people right now. And Bakugou didn’t realise himself— grabbing the phone from her as he assessed the profile. Thinking it was just another scam account trying to con lonely, desperate women out of their money, but he notices it. Pictures uploaded to the profile that only his mother has access to, key words that she’s used on many occasions to describe him.

That old hag. He groans, passing the phone back to Mina as he steps out of the bar to call his mother. Hearing the disappointment in her tone when he says he’s not interested. She doesn’t even try to hide the fact she made the profile, telling him there’s hundreds of women replying to his page. That he can have his pick of any of them if he wants to— but it just doesn’t feel right?

Until there’s you.

And there’s almost something about you that makes Mitsuki not try, because however much she loves and adores her son you’re almost too good for him? You exude happiness, positivity and love. And Bakugou is well, Bakugou.

And somehow you get together and you just work? Like there’s some sort of gravitational pull navigating you into each others orbit. And everything is just easy.

It’s not like expensive dinners, formalities and pretense. It’s comfortable, safe, warm. When Bakugou finds his place with you, he wonders how he ever spent so many years alone. Now he can’t ever imagine life without you, and Mitsuki is shocked when he appears at the door with you for the first time. Because for the first time, her son looks genuinely happy.

The most positive thing about it is now she no longer has to try and play matchmaker for Bakugou, the hard work is finally over. And now she has far more things she can annoy him with instead— like grandchildren and marriage.

And although she may hate to admit it, she’s happy that her son could pick a better match for himself than she ever could. No matter how much she insists that if she’d met you first she would’ve immediately set you two up on a date.

Bakugou finally found his own happiness in you.

But just because she no longer has to play matchmaker, doesn’t mean she won’t try to organise your wedding, your first home, your first child. And you better be prepared for her slightly unorthodox methods for that too— as she buys you pretty lingerie for birthdays, Christmas, Valentines—

“You can’t buy my wife lingerie for valentines, you old hag!”

“Maybe if you’d marry her she’d actually be your wife, you little brat. You should be grateful I’m trying to help.”

And oysters being the main course when she invites you over for dinner—

“They’re a natural aphrodisiac, you know”

“You can’t talk about sex so openly when we’re eating, you old hag. Jesus—”

Most family dinners include Masaru offering you a large glass of wine in the kitchen as you watch your spouses argue together.

But deep down Bakugou is just grateful that you stick around even though Mitsuki is almost a third wheel in your relationship. But you make the perfect team, and together you can handle anything— even his mother.

#soft bakugou

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lactoseintolerentswag · 1 year ago

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Rise Characterizations Pt. 6!!!!!!

After the turtles and Splinter, here we have the girl Ever. She's pretty spunky, I had fun analyzing her for writing.

April O'Neil Character Notes

Language Habits:

Uses bae/aave, something she could have passed on down to Raph and Mikey as they also use bae/aave

Most notably uses "mm-kay" in place of "okay"

Uses a lot of filler language, interjections, or onomatopoeia. Think "mhm", "uh huh, uh huh!", "oh yeah!"

"Ah nuts" is her go-to disappointed phrase

Grits and or strains her teeth when she's frustrated

Uses her own name (the full "April O'Neil!!!!") as a battle cry, or brings her name as a motivator i.e. "the one and only April O'Neil will solve this case!"

The more worked up she the louder she tends to be, this extends to stronger emotions such as passion or panic

Over text uses emoticons

Refers to splinter as "splints"

Refers to the turtles as "the fam"

Refers to villains/antagonists through insults rather than their names

Personality:

Adrenaline junkie, as she's often the first to jump into a fight. She also laughs in the face of danger, and was seen maniacally laughing and smiling the entirety of the gumbus episode

Jack of all trades. April has a lot of skills she's picked up from various jobs or personal adventures she's seeked out (like canoeing through the sewers in a hazmat suit and earning a crane license)

Wild and blunt. April is Loud, and rarely ever afraid to share her opinion. This can either make people draw back from her bluntness or be drawn in by her excitableness

Self-conscious. Despite her strong sense of self-esteem, April is still often motivated to impress the popular kids at school or at least fit in. She doesn't want to be seen as the weird kid, or associated with the weird kids

Persistent. April is always quick on her feet to hit back whatever comes at her. She has a good set of problem-solving skills that she's gained from all the skills she's picked up

Loyal. She's always willing to back up the turtles, and goes out of her way to keep Splinter happy with her company. Once she finds a friend it's hard to pry her away

Unlucky. Mostly in absurd or mundane ways. She has that whole curse with her birthday, but things don't often tend to go right for April O'Neil, which contributes to the disasters that cause her to get fired all the time

Miscellaneous:

Code-named "yellow submarine" by raph

Tends to have information on wifi passwords, secret exists, and access to keys from all the jobs she's been hired and fired from

Has a preference for blunt objects as weapons (most commonly bats, clubs, pipes)

Uses the environment in a fight in general

She's been part of the "warren stone fanclub" since 2010, and keeps all her ids in her wallet

Likes unicorns and cats (as seen through her brief texts with sunita and her pajamas)

Loves laser tag

Can beat Donnie at video games (if he didn't use cheat codes)

"sherlock_corn" is her handle online

Lives in an apartment/flat with her mom (showed onscreen briefly), that has its own bathroom

Has a subtly mentioned interest in fantasy, as noted by Donnie she tends to download fantasy rpgs and freaks out over cosplay wizards

Just an end note to all of you who aren't black, some offensive tropes I would stray from is making April the angry black girl. This is one of the most common stereotypes of black women in media. I wouldn't mistake April's passion or loudness for aggression. It would be a disservice to dilute her lively character into familiar but ultimately harmful tropes in media.

I am in no way saying you cannot portray April as angry, this is a powerful emotion and it should be explored with black characters, but I am saying that should not be the base of her character. Because well that's not even April's base. She's centered around fun and thrill-seeking.

Wikipedia (yes I know, But they have proven to be more dependable these past years) has a good article on the angry black woman stereotype, so that would a good place to start research on what to Avoid. In my splinter post I also provided some links on doing research on writing poc.

---

Anyway!!! We've ended our analysis trip of the main cast in s1. Next I'm thinking of picking apart our antagonists :]. Gonna take a break to work on my own fic, but stay tuned if you found any of my other posts helpful! It's been a fun ride with you all <3

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt april #rottmnt april o'neil #character analysis #writing #fan fic #long post #critter talks #she's the weird girl of all time #she's like lilo to me

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scarlivings · 30 days ago

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sometimes i hate being transfem, because even if i find hope to look pretty on the outside, my insides are still so viscerally ugly and there's literally nothing anyone can do to clean them. i go to gym class, see that pretty emo white cis girl and think "if i don't look like her soon i'll harm myself." i open youtube, see a fellow trans girl who passes as cis and think "why can't that be me?" i feel like i'll never get there, and even if i do get there, the process in between will open even more bullshit for me to deal with. i'll spend years looking like a jarring compromise, two faces overlapping like the local58 sleep video. i won't be able to pick a bathroom, clothes, etc. whether i pick boys or girls. and even other trans people will mistake me for a fetishizer or mockery of some kind, i'll look like a shitty caricature drawn by some twitter blue checkmark neonazi, hours spent on nails and makeup falling apart upon the slightest regrowth of my beard.

when i'm older and shapeshifting in real time, i'll have to worry about just barely putting myself together, hoping somebody from afar doesn't notice my beard clashing with my eyeliner and try to physically attack me. i see a trans guy complain about getting weird stares or getting mistaken for a child and think "he has it so much easier." and i know it's wrong, and it makes me scared of unknowingly being a bigot with a fetish or something. i wish my constant paranoias were as small as "i hope nobody asks for my id!" instead of "i hope nobody curb stomps me for having a slightly deep voice!" carrying my phone in public with the google search result for 911 in the background in case this ever happens, covering my camera with my paw at all times so nobody thinks i'm some pervert taking creep shots of them.

my gender dysphoria manifests as the culmination of every toxic, two-faced cishet white locker room gossip girl i've ever encountered, chastising me for not fitting the unrealistic standards they impose on themselves. everything about me is so masculine. my personality is so typical of a teenage boy, wasting hours in video games, obsessed with music. completely ignore the fact said music is experimental noise made by trans women, because that makes my taste a trans stereotype, which is even worse for me. nobody will take me seriously as a girl if i'm just like every other trans girl. i'm already a lot like every other trans girl, i have that chronically online sense of humor, the interests

my build is too manly, too blocky, certainly not curvy. everyone says i'm average weight but my stomach still looks bloated when i lie down. i was built to be some professional sports player, that's what everyone says, which totally isn't racially motivated! and on that topic, racial stereotypes exaggerate my masculinity even further. black traits are considered stereotypically unattractive and masculine, even on cis women. and you know what's especially masculine and a black stereotype? being this fucking angry.

sometimes i hate being transfem.

#🩹#tw gender dysphoria #tw internalized transphobia #transfem #trans woman #trans girl #transgender #enby

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