#i started this on day 1 of me having covid and i think i finally get to go back to work tomorrow so this was a lil covid project for me <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[mobydyke]

"you stole my father from me in the dead of night... you cannot comprehend what you took from me" -XXVII

[id: a black sails video edit about eleanor guthrie and her relationship with her father, richard guthrie. it is set to the song "quirk" by really from.]

[reasonsforhope]

Story from the Washington Post here, non-paywall version here.

Washington Post stop blocking linksharing and shit challenge.

"The young woman was catatonic, stuck at the nurses’ station — unmoving, unblinking and unknowing of where or who she was.

Her name was April Burrell.

Before she became a patient, April had been an outgoing, straight-A student majoring in accounting at the University of Maryland Eastern Shore. But after a traumatic event when she was 21, April suddenly developed psychosis and became lost in a constant state of visual and auditory hallucinations. The former high school valedictorian could no longer communicate, bathe or take care of herself.

April was diagnosed with a severe form of schizophrenia, an often devastating mental illness that affects approximately 1 percent of the global population and can drastically impair how patients behave and perceive reality.

“She was the first person I ever saw as a patient,” said Sander Markx, director of precision psychiatry at Columbia University, who was still a medical student in 2000 when he first encountered April. “She is, to this day, the sickest patient I’ve ever seen.” ...

It would be nearly two decades before their paths crossed again. But in 2018, another chance encounter led to several medical discoveries...

Markx and his colleagues discovered that although April’s illness was clinically indistinguishable from schizophrenia, she also had lupus, an underlying and treatable autoimmune condition that was attacking her brain.

After months of targeted treatments [for lupus] — and more than two decades trapped in her mind — April woke up.

The awakening of April — and the successful treatment of other people with similar conditions — now stand to transform care for some of psychiatry’s sickest patients, many of whom are languishing in mental institutions.

Researchers working with the New York state mental health-care system have identified about 200 patients with autoimmune diseases, some institutionalized for years, who may be helped by the discovery.

And scientists around the world, including Germany and Britain, are conducting similar research, finding that underlying autoimmune and inflammatory processes may be more common in patients with a variety of psychiatric syndromes than previously believed.

Although the current research probably will help only a small subset of patients, the impact of the work is already beginning to reshape the practice of psychiatry and the way many cases of mental illness are diagnosed and treated.

“These are the forgotten souls,” said Markx. “We’re not just improving the lives of these people, but we’re bringing them back from a place that I didn’t think they could come back from.” ...

Waking up after two decades

The medical team set to work counteracting April’s rampaging immune system and started April on an intensive immunotherapy treatment for neuropsychiatric lupus...

The regimen is grueling, requiring a month-long break between each of the six rounds to allow the immune system to recover. But April started showing signs of improvement almost immediately...

A joyful reunion

“I’ve always wanted my sister to get back to who she was,” Guy Burrell said.

In 2020, April was deemed mentally competent to discharge herself from the psychiatric hospital where she had lived for nearly two decades, and she moved to a rehabilitation center...

Because of visiting restrictions related to covid, the family’s face-to-face reunion with April was delayed until last year. April’s brother, sister-in-law and their kids were finally able to visit her at a rehabilitation center, and the occasion was tearful and joyous.

“When she came in there, you would’ve thought she was a brand-new person,” Guy Burrell said. “She knew all of us, remembered different stuff from back when she was a child.” ...

The family felt as if they’d witnessed a miracle.

“She was hugging me, she was holding my hand,” Guy Burrell said. “You might as well have thrown a parade because we were so happy, because we hadn’t seen her like that in, like, forever.”

“It was like she came home,” Markx said. “We never thought that was possible.”

...After April’s unexpected recovery, the medical team put out an alert to the hospital system to identify any patients with antibody markers for autoimmune disease. A few months later, Anca Askanase, a rheumatologist and director of the Columbia Lupus Center,who had been on April’s treatment team, approached Markx. “I think we found our girl,” she said.

Bringing back Devine

When Devine Cruz was 9, she began to hear voices. At first, the voices fought with one another. But as she grew older, the voices would talk about her, [and over the years, things got worse].

For more than a decade, the young woman moved in and out of hospitals for treatment. Her symptoms included visual and auditory hallucinations, as well as delusions that prevented her from living a normal life.

Devine was eventually diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, which can result in symptoms of both schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. She also was diagnosed with intellectual disability.

She was on a laundry list of drugs — two antipsychotic medications, lithium, clonazepam, Ativan and benztropine — that came with a litany of side effects but didn’t resolve all her symptoms...

She also had lupus, which she had been diagnosed with when she was about 14, although doctors had never made a connection between the disease and her mental health...

Last August, the medical team prescribed monthly immunosuppressive infusions of corticosteroids and chemotherapy drugs, a regime similar to what April had been given a few years prior. By October, there were already dramatic signs of improvement.

“She was like ‘Yeah, I gotta go,’” Markx said. “‘Like, I’ve been missing out.’”

After several treatments, Devine began developing awareness that the voices in her head were different from real voices, a sign that she was reconnecting with reality. She finished her sixth and final round of infusions in January.

In March, she was well enough to meet with a reporter. “I feel like I’m already better,” Devine said during a conversation in Markx’s office at the New York State Psychiatric Institute, where she was treated. “I feel myself being a person that I was supposed to be my whole entire life.” ...

Her recovery is remarkable for several reasons, her doctors said. The voices and visions have stopped. And she no longer meets the diagnostic criteria for either schizoaffective disorder or intellectual disability, Markx said...

Today, Devine lives with her mother and is leading a more active and engaged life. She helps her mother cook, goes to the grocery store and navigates public transportation to keep her appointments. She is even babysitting her siblings’ young children — listening to music, taking them to the park or watching “Frozen 2” — responsibilities her family never would have entrusted her with before her recovery.

Expanding the search for more patients

While it is likely that only a subset of people diagnosed with schizophrenia and psychotic disorders have an underlying autoimmune condition, Markx and other doctors believe there are probably many more patients whose psychiatric conditions are caused or exacerbated by autoimmune issues...

The cases of April and Devine also helped inspire the development of the SNF Center for Precision Psychiatry and Mental Health at Columbia, which was named for the Stavros Niarchos Foundation, which awarded it a $75 million grant in April. The goal of the center is to develop new treatments based on specific genetic and autoimmune causes of psychiatric illness, said Joseph Gogos, co-director of the SNF Center.

Markx said he has begun care and treatment on about 40 patients since the SNF Center opened. The SNF Center is working with the New York State Office of Mental Health, which oversees one of the largest public mental health systems in America, to conduct whole genome sequencing and autoimmunity screening on inpatients at long-term facilities.

For “the most disabled, the sickest of the sick, even if we can help just a small fraction of them, by doing these detailed analyses, that’s worth something,” said Thomas Smith, chief medical officer for the New York State Office of Mental Health. “You’re helping save someone’s life, get them out of the hospital, have them live in the community, go home.”

Discussions are underway to extend the search to the 20,000 outpatients in the New York state system as well. Serious psychiatric disorders, like schizophrenia, are more likely to be undertreated in underprivileged groups. And autoimmune disorders like lupus disproportionately affect women and people of color with more severity.

Changing psychiatric care

How many people ultimately will be helped by the research remains a subject of debate in the scientific community. But the research has spurred excitement about the potential to better understand what is going on in the brain during serious mental illness...

Emerging research has implicated inflammation and immunological dysfunction as potential players in a variety of neuropsychiatric conditions, including schizophrenia, depression and autism.

“It opens new treatment possibilities to patients that used to be treated very differently,” said Ludger Tebartz van Elst, a professor of psychiatry and psychotherapy at University Medical Clinic Freiburg in Germany.

In one study, published last year in Molecular Psychiatry, Tebartz van Elst and his colleagues identified 91 psychiatric patients with suspected autoimmune diseases, and reported that immunotherapies benefited the majority of them.

Belinda Lennox, head of the psychiatry department at the University of Oxford, is enrolling patients in clinical trials to test the effectiveness of immunotherapy for autoimmune psychosis patients.

As a result of the research, screenings for immunological markers in psychotic patients are already routine in Germany, where psychiatrists regularly collect samples from cerebrospinal fluid.

Markx is also doing similar screening with his patients. He believes highly sensitive and inexpensive blood tests to detect different antibodies should become part of the standard screening protocol for psychosis.

Also on the horizon: more targeted immunotherapy rather than current “sledgehammer approaches” that suppress the immune system on a broad level, said George Yancopoulos, the co-founder and president of the pharmaceutical company Regeneron.

“I think we’re at the dawn of a new era. This is just the beginning,” said Yancopoulos."

-via The Washington Post, June 1, 2023

[cozage]

COZAGE PLEASE MAKE A PART TWO RESOLUTION TO YOUR MOST RECENT ANGST STARTS BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS GNAWING ON FURNITURE SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP

A/N:FINE I’LL FIX THE ANGST HERE YOU GO (sorry if it sucks and has lots of typos I had COVID while writing this) Characters: f reader x Ace, Law, Shanks Cw: Cuteness :)  Total word count: 3k

Disapproval Part 2

Part 1

Ace

It was a long time before you were alone again. You and William spent the rest of the day together, and he brought up your encounter with the pirates to everyone you ran into…minus the kiss he had seen. And every time the story was told and the people spoke of how dreadful they were, you hated this island and its people a little bit more. 

Whitebeard and his crew protected your island from the horrors of the Grand Line. Whenever you needed aid, the Whitebeard pirates were the ones to answer. And yet behind their backs, the people on this island acted as if the pirates were the scum of the earth. Some people, like William’s family, said it to their faces. 

You were pleasant through dinner. You smiled when stories were told. You spoke when you were asked a question. But your mind kept wandering back to Ace. To the pirates. They were really the only people you were ever excited to see, and the only ones who ever showed excitement at your arrival. 

And it wasn’t just Ace. Everyone in his division was kind to you. On the rare occasion another division was sent in Ace’s place, the leaders always sought you out and delivered a message. You weren’t just another face in the crowd to them. You were a person. 

When William finally bid you farewell with a kiss on the cheek, you retired quickly to your room. And once you were alone with your thoughts and all you had lost today, you couldn’t help the tears falling down your face. You weren’t even able to make it to your bed to muffle your sobs with a pillow before they began racking your body. 

“Bit of a weird reaction to spending the day with your betrothed.”

You spun on your heels toward the voice. You could only see a silhouette, but you would know that voice anywhere. 

“Ace-” your voice cracked as you spoke his name. “I didn’t want you to find out like this.”

He shrugged, but you could see the pain in his eyes as he stepped out from the shadows. “You always said you were going to move on if I kept leaving you behind.”

“I’m sorry,” you whispered. Tears were already reforming in your eyes. Your chest ached for his touch again, but you resisted the urge to step closer to him. 

“Do you love him?”

“He’s a good man. He’s kind and loyal and always looks out for me” You couldn’t look at him as you said it. It felt wrong speaking about William here. You didn’t want to think about him now. 

Ace stepped toward you and reached out toward you, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. He held your face in his hand, forcing you to look at him. 

“Do you love him?” he asked again. 

“I-” You tried to avert your gaze, but he held your chin firmly, forcing you to look at him as you answered his question. “I think I could, given enough time.”

Pain flashed across his face again, but he quickly recovered. “Do you want that?”

“What?”

“Do you want to love him? To marry him?”

You weren’t sure of the answer. Especially with Ace here in front of you. 

“I have to marry him,” you finally said. “My parents need me to do this.”

His eye twitched for a moment, and you could feel his hand warm against your cheek. “What do you need?”

“You.” The words were out of your mouth before you thought to change them. 

That was all he needed to hear. His lips came crashing down onto yours, passionate and hungry. His warmth enveloped you like a summer’s day. You only wanted him. You would only ever be his. Nobody else mattered at this moment. 

“Sail away with me,” he whispered, his fingers already tangled in your hair. 

You simply hushed him in return, trying to find his lips again. 

He indulged you with another kiss, this one longer and slower, as if he wanted to draw it out for as long as possible. As if he wanted to remember it. 

This was a goodbye kiss. 

“Ace-”

“Sail away with me,” he offered again, his lips caressing your jawline.

“You’re serious?” You resisted the urge to laugh. He couldn’t be serious, could he?

“I’ll go if you want me to.” He kissed your neck once, then twice, slowly moving toward your shoulder as he spoke. “Just tell me to go and I will leave you to this life. I won’t interfere anymore.”

You whimpered in response. This couldn’t be the last time you ever saw him. You needed him as much as you needed air. Your heart waited for him on that cliff every day, praying he would come back whenever he could. The very whisper of the Whitebeard pirates returning could turn your whole day around. 

“Or you can come with me.”

“I can’t.”

“You could.” His lips pressed against your collarbones as he said the words. 

You considered it. Being free on the ocean. The only thing to worry about was where you would go the next day. Having people around you who actually cared about you. Being with a crew loved you for who you were, not who they wanted you to be. 

“Okay,” you sighed, already seeing your new life play out before you.  

Ace grew deathly still, only his eyes flicking up to meet yours. “Okay?”

You couldn’t look away from him. “I’ll go.”

He stared at you, refusing to believe it was so easy. 

But your mind was already pushed into high gear, trying to think of everything you would have to do before you left. “My parents will never let me go, so we’ll have to sneak away. I’ll have to write them letters. And I’ll have to write a letter to William. And pack some of my belongings.”

You pulled away from him and moved to your closet, planning what to take and what to leave behind. You had a few bags you could pack. Between you and Ace, you were sure you could carry it all. 

Ace stood in the center of your room, watching your whirlwind of preparation as you shoved things into bags and weighed the value of your items. 

“Wait.” He finally said. His eyes had never left you. 

You glanced over at him as you packed up a few shirts. He looked dreadfully pale, and your heart sank. The question he had asked was in the heat of the moment. 

You froze, watching him closely. “You weren’t being sincere in your offer?” 

“Of course I was!” He rushed to get the words out. “You really want to go?”

“I do.” You went back to packing. 

“You’d leave everything behind? For what?”

You shrugged. “A life on the seas.” 

“What changed?” He took a few steps toward you. “I’ve asked you every time, and the answer was always no. So what changed?”

He was going to make you say it. Of course he was. He had to hear it from your lips. Your actions weren’t enough. 

You stopped folding your clothes and turned to him. “Because I love you, Ace. You absolute buffoon, I love you! And I was never at risk of losing you- truly losing you- until now. And I can’t bear the thought of you going away and never coming back. I can’t imagine a life where I marry William and live a perfectly normal life and die an unimportant death and I never see you again. Is that a good enough reason for you?”

He stared at you, shocked by your sudden outburst. It was all the things you wanted to say to him since the first time you saw him at the bar. And now it was out in the open, hanging between the two of you. 

He rushed toward you, effortlessly scooping you into his arms and covering your face in kisses. When he finally put you down, you felt dizzy from the heat of his lips peppering your cheeks. 

“What else needs to be packed?” He asked.

You gave him a few tasks and pulled some paper from a drawer. You had a lot of apologizing to do for those you were leaving behind. 

A few hours later, in the dead of night, you walked hand in hand as you carried your belongings toward the pirate ship in the distance. The only thing that would remain of you on the island was two letters and an engagement ring. 

Ace squeezed your hand. You could see his beaming smile against the moonlight. “You know,” he said softly. “I couldn’t live without you either.”

Law

You went to your room as soon as you got home. Your parents didn’t object, didn’t even ask if you wanted dinner. You weren’t hungry anyway. 

You laid in bed, trying not to think of the day. You hated the way it had all turned out. The lack of freedom you had on this island due to your parents made you sick. You had no freedom here. No sense of self. 

You weren’t sure when you dozed off, but you woke to a periodic tapping on your window. For a moment, you were too scared to get out of bed. It could be anything or anyone. But after a few more taps on the window, you knew you wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep. Besides, you were on the second story. Nobody could get you from outside your window. So you got up and peeked outside. 

Trafalgar Law was standing under your window. His golden eyes glimmered in the light of the full moon as they locked onto you. 

There was a moment of weightlessness, and then your bare feet slammed against the cobblestone path. You let out a yelp of surprise, but Law’s hands were around your mouth to muffle the sound. 

“Sorry,” he said. “I figured this would be faster than you trying to sneak out.”

“What the hell did you do?!” You looked back at your bedroom window, confused about how you had gotten here so fast. You were still in your pajamas and barefoot. Hardly the way you wanted Trafalgar Law to see you.

He scratched the back of his head as if it had just dawned on him that his actions might not be the best approach. “It’s, uh, my devil fruit ability.”

You gave him a skeptical look. “Can you put me back?”

“Do you want to go back?”

You scoffed. “I’d like some shoes, at the very least. And proper clothes.”

In the moonlight, you could see his cheeks pinken. “Right,” he said quickly. “Just let me know when you’re ready.”

Another weightless moment and you were back in your room. You had been expecting it this time and resisted the urge to let out another shout. You didn’t want to alert your parents to your movements or the individual outside. 

You wanted to do more than simply change clothes and put on shoes, but you didn’t want to keep Law waiting. You weren’t even sure how much time you would have with him as it was. 

Once you were as ready as you could be, you gave the window a little tap to alert him, and then gave him a thumbs up. 

A moment later, you were standing next to him. His hand instinctively went out and helped steady you. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that,” you said breathlessly. 

Law gave a smirk. “You’d be surprised.”

The two of you walked in silence for a while, waiting until you were out of sight from the house before you dared to speak. 

“Where are we going?” you finally asked.

“I had bigger plans for us, but the beach will do for tonight.” Law jerked his head down a side path through the forest. 

It was a path you knew well. It led to a small private alcove. Nobody would find you there. Especially at this time of night. 

“This is my favorite place on this island,” he said softly, leading you to a large blanket lying on the sand. “The view of the stars with the sound of the waves is unmatched. I always come here when I need to think. It’s the most peaceful place on the Grand Line.”

You snorted at his remark, looking up at the sky. “Surely there’s better places out there.”

“But this is my favorite.”

“I dunno why,” you grumbled. “People here give you no respect. You’ve helped these people more than they can count and they still refuse to treat you well.”

Law hummed in agreement at that. He couldn’t deny that the islanders weren’t always kind to him. “You speak as though you’re not one of them.”

“I wish I wasn’t.”

Law’s eyes flicked over, studying you closely. “What do you mean?”

“I just wish I had more.” You turned to look at him. “There’s a whole world out there and I’m stuck in a sandwich shop.”

His eyebrow quirked up. “You don’t have to be.”

“I have nowhere to go and no one to go with. I’m stuck.”

His eyes returned to the sky, not saying anything. The two of you were quiet for a long while, staring at the sky lost in thought. It was the perfect night out, between the soft warm breeze and the waves crashing against the shore. You could feel your eyelids starting to close, lulling you back to sleep. 

“You could come with me.” Law’s voice jolted you awake, and for a second you thought you were dreaming. 

“What?”

His eyes were still on the stars. “My crew. You could join us and sail. We could go anywhere you wanted.”

You sat up, staring at him intensely. “You’re serious?”

He gave a nod in return. 

“I want to,” you said. “I will. I’ll go with you.” 

“We leave tomorrow.”

“I can’t leave tomorrow,” you frowned, shaking your head. There was too much to do to prepare. You couldn’t just vanish. “But…ask me again next time you’re here.”

He gave a nod of understanding. “I’ll be back in a week.”

You broke out in a smile, your mind already turning with possibilities and dreams. “I’ll be ready then.” 

One more week, and then you would be with Law. One more week, and then you would be a Heart Pirate.

Shanks

The next morning you left the house before your parents were down for breakfast. You didn’t want to face them after dinner last night. You didn’t want to think about what they had said to you, how Shanks had been with another woman. 

You wanted to be out of the house and distracted from your thoughts, so you took off early to make it to campus and study before class. You tried to think about anything other than that red-haired pirate. You had exams and projects coming up. Going over the concepts you researched and studied for, you walked right into another person. 

“A bit distracted, love?” You didn’t have to look up to know who was speaking. Out of all the places he could’ve been on this island, he had to be on this path. 

You took a quick step back and nervously tucked your hair behind your ear. “Hey Shanks. Sorry about that.”

His brow furrowed at your formality. “Everything okay?”

“Just on the way to class.” You tried your best to smile. “Busy day.”

“I’ve been trying to catch you since we got here. I’ve missed you.” He reached out to grab you, but you stepped out of his reach.

“It was good to see you.” You gave a quick look around, hoping nobody was watching you. “I don’t want to be late for class.”

His lips pressed into a thin line. “Your class doesn’t start for another two hours.”

Shit. You had told him that the last time he visited. His mind was too keen to forget small details like that.

His hand reached out again, this time grabbing your wrist. “What’s going on?”

“Please Shanks,” you tried to pull away, but he held firm. “Let me go.”

“What is this cold shoulder business? Did I do something to make you upset? This can’t be over-”

“Why don’t you ask that girl you were with at the market?” You don’t know what possessed you to do it, but you spat out the words to him. 

Shanks visibly recoiled from your words, pure confusion on his face. 

Confusion. Not guilt. Not shame. He had no idea what you were talking about. 

“My mother lied to me,” you whispered, tears forming in your eyes. “Oh god, Shanks. I'm so-”

He pulled you into his chest, clasping his arms tightly around you. “Shhh,” he whispered. “It’s okay. I should’ve found you sooner. I’m sorry.” 

You buried your face in his chest, ashamed. “I believed them. Why did I believe them?”

“It’s okay.” He smoothed your hair as he held you. “We figured it out in the end, right?”

“I can’t stay here. We need to leave.” You pulled back, looking at him. 

He only gave a light laugh, unsure of what you meant. 

But that only made you more determined. “I’m serious, Shanks. I can’t stay here anymore. It’s suffocating. I’m dying here. I need life. I need adventure. I need you.”

The smallest spark of light gleaned in his eyes. “You want to sail? With me?”

“Yes.”

“You’ll be a pirate. An outlaw, wanted by the government. You’ll be-”

“I’ll be with you,” you said, cutting him off. “The only one who has ever made me feel like I am my own person. I’ll be with you. I don’t care about the rest.”

He broke into a grin. “You’re serious?”

You stood on the tips of your toes and leaned forward to kiss him. “I’m serious. When can we go?”

“As soon as you want to.”

The excitement of living flooded into your veins. “Now.”

The two of you took off toward the docks hand in hand. And you felt more at peace looking into the unknown than you had in your entire life.  

[imaginaryf1shots]

My Girls (V) | Max Verstappen

Words count: 2K

Driver!oc X Max Verstappen

Platonic!Driver!oc X the grid

Summery: Cecilia Hansson daughter of a Swedish billionaire, a race car driver, with a dream of making it big in Formula 1. However she has a few secrets that may hurt her as women are disliked in the sport.

Series Warnings: google translated french, dutch, cursing, child abandment, absent father, drinking, car accidents, Jos Verstappen, misogyny, Christian horner (tell me if i missed anything)

Couldn't sleep so here we go...

This is a secondary blog so I won't be able to respond but I'm adding you all.

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Max Masterlist

Previous || Next

Nosy friends and lunch 

“What?” Cecilia answered the call request coming from discord, her friends have been spamming her with texts and facetime and she hasn’t accepted any calls or replied to any texts, thank you Charles Leclerc for being a snitch.

“Finally!” Lando was the first to speak, Cecilia didn’t even look at the phone, she continued getting ready, it’s still lockdown she wasn’t leaving to meet Max for once… he was coming over for the first time, they’ve been meeting regularly(at least three times a week)  for the last couple of months. At times she’d go after Nathalie fell asleep, she hadn’t taken Nattie with her to Max’s since that day, but she had been talking to him on the phone, like she does with Charles and her other uncles. It was cute how her daughter would talk with Charles in almost all French and with Max in almost all English. Her daughter is growing up like her and her brother, but that’s besides the point. 

“What do you guys need? I’m busy.” 

“We can see, so who is coming over?” Hearing Pierre’s voice made her glance at the phone to see who was actually in the call, of course her friends from karting plus Lando. 

“Oh my god! You all are so nosy, how did you find out anyway?” She asked knowing that she hasn’t said anything, not even to Charles.

“I may have talked to your mum.” Charles confessed with a proud smile.

“You should be scared Charlotte! That’s creepy behaviour!” Cecilia shouted through the phone knowing that his girlfriend is sitting next to him, she heard her laugh. “Why did I give you my mum’s number again.”

“Don’t try to change the subject Cecilia, when were you going to tell us?” Alex asked, he looked comfy, sitting back on his sofa with a smoothie or juice or something sipping from a straw. In fact they all looked like they were sitting for a gossip session.

“Tell you what? There’s nothing to tell.” 

“Why are you putting makeup on then?” Pierre asked, itching for new gossip.

“It’s just the basic stuff.” Cecilia said, shrugging still continuing with her makeup.

“What did I miss?” George asked, joining the call, Cecilia wanted to pull her hair and block all her friends.

“Little miss secrets here, is getting ready for a date with Max.” Lando told his fellow brit.

“It’s not a date, he’s meeting my parents.” Cecilia said before she could think and sighed, they all howled with laughter.

“You’re already meeting the parents.” Charles said laughing, it was all in good fun, and things have been boring since covid started.

“You all met my parents before, each and everyone of you.” Cecilia said and pointed at them. “You know what, I’m blocking you all.” 

With that she ended the call to finish getting ready in peace, they got on her nerves sometimes. She needs more females in her life.

“I just got here.” George groaned.

“You don’t think she’ll actually do it, do you?” Alex asked, suddenly concerned.

“I don’t think so.” 

“Me neither.” Charles and Lando comforted the others, they just sat there for a while contemplating the duo, and how they thought things would turn out to be like. Charles knew your mother would tell him if he asked.

Cecilia finished getting ready and went to help her mum with the last of the food, Cecilia really wasn’t dressed up, she just had light makeup and a sundress, it was getting warmer now, and they were eating out on the terrace. Seeing her mum in a dress Nattie also wanted to change into a dress as well.

“Go help her, your dad and I will finish here.” her mum said and patted her back, Cecilia took Nattie to her room and made her choose the dress she wanted, midway she heard the doorbell ring, and she knew Max had arrived.

Max was greeted by your dad, he of course saw him before, but it was always from afar they never talked. “Nice to meet you sir.”

“You too, come in please.” Max was led inside he glanced around, this is the house you grew up and lived your whole life in, the penthouse is bigger than the apartment he lives in, for one he rents they own, this one is two stories with apparently a gym. But it felt lived in, from what Cecilia told him is that her dad’s family had generational wealth, but her mum came from a humble bringing, so yes they had the best things in life, but her mum made them know how lucky and privileged they were. As teens they had to work to earn their money, and learn to do things on their own, they never had a nanny or a chef, someone did come in to clean twice a week, so they did their chores, their mum really wanted them to grow up as normal as she could when your dad is a billionaire. 

“I didn’t know what to bring.” Max said and handed her dad a couple of wine bottles, he had ordered online. Looking at her dad, he saw a lot of him in Cecilia and in turn Nathalie, all their colours are her dad, her lips and nose being the only thing he couldn’t place on him.

“You didn’t need to bring anything, but we’ll enjoy it I’m sure.” Cecilia’s dad led him inside to the living room, not the formal one for guests, the one they hosted their friends and family in, the walls were all mostly glass with doors leading to the big terrace. “Cecilia is changing Nattie, the girl took one look at her mum in a dress and suddenly she wants to wear one too.”

“Max! Hello.” Cecilia’s mum walked up with open arms greeting the man, Max had just sat down, stood up quickly just as he was pulled in a motherly hug, she kissed his cheeks like the french one on each side before she pulled back. 

“Nice to meet your Mrs. Hansson.” Max greeted the smiley woman, and he knew where you took your lips and nose from, the perfect blend between your parents.

“Please call me Adeline.” She waved his formalities off. “I saw you grow up with Cecilia, sorry I look like a mess.”

“No, no you don’t… Do you need some help.” Max offered, he could smell the food already coming from the kitchen.

“Nonsense, sit down and talk with Börje, I’m almost done.” With that she gracefully left, sitting back down he faced Cecilia’s dad.

“Cecilia told us you’re quarenting alone.” Börje said and Max nodded, they talked a little about what he was doing since lockdown started, her dad shared how hard it was to run a business from home, especially since HQ was in sweden. 

“Pappa, don’t bore him with your work.” Cecilia called to her dad as Nattie ran in the room to her grand-père before she saw Max and turned to run to him, Max caught the girl and pulled her up on the sofa beside him.

“He’s not bored.” Her dad said acting hurt by her words after rolling his eyes. “I’m not boring you Max am I?”

“No, not at all.” Shaking her head at him, MAx greeted her daughter, before he stood up and gave her a small hug.

“In that case, take care of my child while I help maman.” Cecilia said and turned to her dad. “Can you set the table?”

“Sure thing Älskling.” (Darling) Her dad said and the men moved out to the terrace, there was a cabinet there with a sink and everything for when they had BBQs out there, it was filled with plates and cutlery. Once again Nathalie wanted to help so Max had her placing the spoons and forks in their place. If your dad had doubts about Max before they’re starting to disappear now. He saw Max like the public saw him, only what he presented, and to be honest he doesn’t like Jos but seeing how he talked with Nattie, his instincts as a father were calm. 

After they were done with the table, the men found themselves by the railing, Max was looking at the view, glancing at the girl who was swinging on the small playground set, her granddad had installed for her. 

“Cecilia might kill me for saying this but, when she was pregnant she used to watch a lot of your races.” Börje told the driver he was amused thinking about it now, because if he thinks too deeply all he feels is rage and sadness, an overwhelming feeling of sadness. 

“Did she?” Max asked and turned to copy Cecilia’s dad’s stance, they leaned back on the railing, this is news to him.

“Yeah, she’d say how she wanted to do that, she’d dream of getting in F1. Did you know that Ferrari were in talks with her in 2016 about maybe signing her and having her as a reserve driver.” Max looked surprised at the news, Cecilia got pregnant during negotiations and her lawyer(dad’s lawyers) got her out of the deal with smooth talks and ended things on a good note for future possibilities. “Right when she got pregnant, it took a lot for her to decide what to do. She was glowing when she held Nattie and told us she wanted to get back into racing.”

“She’s lucky she had you supporting her, not many parents would.” Max spoke the truth, wealthy or not, not many parents would have their adult children’s backs like that.

“She’s my girl, even if she’s an adult with a daughter of her own, that's my baby girl.” Börje said, before Max called for Nattie to be careful, right before Börje was about to, the girl took to swinging and then jumping. The set was on a type of foam mat but she could still hurt herself. “Cecilia has always been honest with us, and I can see that you care, not many men would get in a relationship with a woman who has a child, but like I told you, that’s my little girl and I don’t want to see her heartbroken.”

“She won’t I promise.” Max promised his eyes and tone telling the truth, Börje smiled and patted his back. 

“Max, can you help Cecilia bring out the food?” Adeline asked coming out with the salad, when Börje moved to also help she gave him a look, happily married for 30 years now, made him understand her with only a look.

When Max walked in the kitchen he was met with Cecilia taking a baking dish out of the oven before she sat it on the counter. “Need help?”

“Huh, yeah. Mum made so much food you’d think she’s feeding an army.” Cecilia said and looked at all the food sitting in trays and serving dishes, the quantity wasn’t a lot but she made a lot of options. “We'll all be eating this for days to come.”

Max came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, she smiled and turned her head kissing his cheek. “Haven’t been able to say hi properly.” 

“Sorry about that.” She turned in his arms and hugged him around the neck, his arms around her waist, they stood there for a moment before they pulled back, as much as Max wanted to kiss her lips, they’re at your parent’s house and they’re here, so out of respect for them he kissed her forehead before he pulled away and they started bringing the food out, on the last trip she got a bottle of chilled white wine and room temp red one(one of the ones Max brought) along with a wine looking glass that had juice for the little princess. 

Max and Cecilia sat across from her parents with Nattie between her mum and her boyfriend to be(?). They didn’t want to label it, but they are kind of in a relationship. If you spend  time with a man, occasionally kiss said man, talk to said man at all hours of the day and night, go to his house three times a week so you’d spend time together doesn’t that mean you’re dating? Please someone tell Cecilia to make a move already.

Max turned up his charm for the day, he had her parents laughing and engaging in all sorts of conversation, he complimented the cooking, the house, he even managed to talk business with her dad. All points for him in their book. Hearing Cecilia laugh with a man like she hasn’t in over four years made the points easy to give. With eyes that only parents had, they watched how when she laughed as she leaned towards him, her arm falling on his shoulder even with Nattie between them it all looked natural, a family in the making.

Ceciliahansson15

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Ceciliahansson15

liked by Carlossainz55, maxverstappen1, Pierregasly and 2,197,009 others

ceciliahansson15 A little wine never hurt anybody

view all 86,984 comments

username1 on my knees🧎‍♀️

username2 who got you those flowers 🤔

charles_leclerc 👀

georgerussell63 👀

ceciliahansson15 grow up!! 🙄😒

username3 what do you know???

username4 soft launch

alex_albon can I be invited the next time I'm in Monaco 👉👈

ceciliahansson15 literarly my mum invites half the grid over everytime! you chose not to come last year

alex_albon I WAS TIRED! I'M SORRY

ceciliahansson15 it's okay it was only a couple of us last year anyways 🤷‍♀️

username8 i wanna be invited 🥺

username5 is she soft launching? or is she just aesthetic🤔

username6 why not aesthetic and soft launching

username5 like the way you think 👍

username7 I lover her insta so much so pleasing to look at

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Taglist:

@luciaexcorvus . @vellicora . @tpwkstiles . @belennasif  . @eugene-emt-roe . @fanboyluvr . @fangirl125reader , @christianpulisic10 . @belennasif . @itsjustkhaos .

[navstuffs]

hi!! i really love your writing and i would love if you could feed me with a request (only if you're comfortable with it, ofc) 👉🏼👈🏼 what about a leon x reader where reader is passing through a very tough depressive crisis and is really not fine mentally speaking — and leon just try to help and comfort them through this? 👉🏼👈🏼

anyway, thank you for your fics, they really helped me these days 😭💗

Anchor

Pairing: Leon Kennedy x GNPartner!Reader

Summary: It is 1 am when Leon Kennedy knocks on your door. He shouldn't be there and you shouldn't have opened it. 

Warning tags: hurt/comfort, angst, leon almost died, reader is suffering with anxiety due to past events, can be read as platonic or romantic (you choose)

Writer's Notes: hello! first of all, im sorry i took so long to write this request for you. i changed some stuff and i hope you don't mind (reader is still depressed). thank you so much your kind words and i hope this fic serves as comfort for you!! <333 stay safe anon!

for more painful leon's fics, check my masterlist. i have some happy ones too :)

It is 1 am when Leon Kennedy knocks on your door. It is the third time that week only, the fifth of the month. 

It starts when you don’t appear at work after two weeks since his return, and no one knows where you are. HR informs you are sick, which means you are still alive somewhere in the world, just sick. Okay, but sick with what? Sick how? Are you in the hospital? Do you need any help? Leon knows you don’t have family around, like him, and you are pretty much alone - like him. 

So, as any regular worried friend would, he calls and texts. He wants to hear your voice and guarantee that you don’t need help and have everything you need. That you truly are okay. No answer. HR has guaranteed him you are not dead, but what if you—no, he shouldn’t think about that.

The next step is going to your house. He knows where your address is and wouldn’t be a complete weird appearing there in the afternoon. No answer. Leon won’t be a creep as far as looking at your windows, at least not yet. He won’t go as far as busting your door and checking how you are feeling because he needs to confirm you are okay. You might just not be home.

On the second visit, Leon got awfully close to kicking your door. Before he could do that or even knock, he saw a shadow pass over the window. Though Leon told himself he wouldn’t, he looked inside just in time to see you disappear to the second floor. So, at least you are really alive, Leon’s body filling with relief. It could have been a bad case of flu, and you don’t want to contaminate anyone.

One more week passes, and he visits your house two more times. Those times you didn’t even bother to hide yourself, lazily lying down on the sofa in a way Leon couldn’t see your face (oh yeah, now he is definitely peeking out your windows). So you are genuinely ignoring him or truly sick with some contagious disease. Maybe Covid?

The fifth time he knocks on your door, it is 1 am and Leon is deeply not only worried but bitter. He was sitting in his apartment alone, wondering what you had and why you didn’t open the door for him. You two are colleagues, and Leon would dare to go as far as to call you his friend if anyone asked. How many times have you brought him soup while he was sick? Brought him meds, kept him company? Checked on him until he was finally all better?

It would be only fair if he did the same.

Leon grabs his keys without even thinking: You will open the door for him tonight. And if you don’t, well, he will kick it open. To hell with the civil approach.

-x-

All the courage slips away from his body when he notices the kitchen’s light on. Leon can’t see anything inside since you decided to make his life harder and close the curtains. So, instead of kicking that door until it’s down, Leon goes back to the gentle approach (like the idiot he is): he knocks.

The door opens not even ten seconds later, and Leon blinks, surprised. You are there. You, not a trick of his eyes: a fluffy and long blanket covering your body, only your face peeking with a familiar expression Leon recognizes immediately - he had seen in his own mirror before.

“You won. What the fuck do you want?” Those are the first words to him in weeks.

“May I come in?” 

You ponder for a moment, your eyes red, and Leon wonders when you last slept. You walk away, leaving the door open, and Leon follows inside, locking the door behind him. 

Your house isn’t in the best state. He had been here before and thought you weren’t the most organized person (“I can find myself in my own mess, Leon.”). The mess had grown too much from normal. There were tons of take-out boxes on the kitchen counter, pizza boxes, and fast food bags. At least you had been eating—not the best food ever, but feeding. He could work with that.

And the bottles—oh, those Leon would identify anywhere. You weren’t a heavy drinker, and you mentioned plenty of times you didn’t know how he liked whiskey. Now, there were countless empty bottles of whiskey, beer, and vodka, so much so that the place looked like a bunch of frat boys had a party just the night before and didn’t bother to clean.

Leon follows you to the living room as you fall onto the couch. An old Simpsons episode plays on the TV screen. There are still some bags and bottles on the floor, but fewer. Your eyes focus on the TV, not really watching or paying attention to him.  Leon stands there, keeping a safe distance from you and gathering what to say. 

“I came to check on you.” Leon starts, his eyes glued on you. “You haven’t called or texted me back. The HR said-”

“I am sick. I wanted to be left alone.”

“I know, but-”

“I could complain about this to HR, you know? It could be considered an invasion of privacy, and you could lose your job. “

“I was worried about you.”

“You saw me in the window that day, didn’t you? I’m alive and breathing. Now get out.”

You hide your face in the sofa, conversation clearly done on your side. It feels like an impossible battle to win. Leon then tries again, “Do you need anything?” 

“No. Get out.”

He sighs, turning on his heels. Leon wants to say you can call if you need him, any time, but Leon knows you wouldn't. This is an impossible battle to win, Leon realizes as he starts to leave. But then he freezes, a memory piercing his thoughts. Leon comes back to the living room, your face still hidden.

“No.”

“What?” 

“I am not leaving. Not before I know what is wrong.”

“I am sick.”

“Yes. So I have heard.” 

You don’t turn to look at him, and that’s fine. If you want to be stubborn, so could he. Leon can wait. The episode on the TV finally ends, and as the familiar opening plays in the background, you slowly turn in his direction, one eye appearing first, then the other, as if expecting Leon would be gone by now. Unlucky for you, Leon S. Kennedy didn’t give up that easily, especially for his friends.

“I don’t know what you are feeling, but I know that face.” His voice manages to sound neutral.

Of course, he does. Of course, your partner, the legendary D.S.O veteran, would know. You, just a newbie, would have no idea what he went through, but Leon didn’t seem the kind of person to crumble for anything. Leon would probably be fine if you were the one to get shot, not him. He wouldn’t have panicked, he wouldn’t have started crying, screaming for someone to help them, losing themselves in a sea of despair and pain.

“Hey…”

Blood. So much blood in your hands. You are useless, you can’t help him as Leon’s face loses color-

“Hey.”

He deserved someone better—someone much better as a partner—not you, a weak agent who thought you were strong enough to stand by his side. Oh, how wrong you were.

Leon calls your name, more urgent this time, and your line of sight is filled with the face of the man you considered your friend right at your path—concerned blue eyes, his hair tickling against your face. His forehead is in concentration, the faint ghost of a beard, as he speaks soothingly. “Hey, look at me. You are safe. Deep breaths, come on.” 

The visions mix as you blink: Leon losing blood in your arms, unconscious, back to being safe, his worried eyes staring at you.

Your rapid breathing noise fills the room, your heart wanting to burst as the pain spreads over your body, the pain worse than being stabbed or punched. You keep your eyes on Leon - he is fine, he is safe, he is well, he is worried sick about you- as he continues to nod and tell you to breathe.

It takes a while, Leon’s hands on your shoulder as you finally calm down, the tears rolling freely from your eyes.

“I am sorry.” You manage to whisper. “I am so sorry.”

“You are safe. We both are safe.” Leon declares, and you take that in. Right now, yes. But what about tomorrow? What about-? “Hey, eyes open at me.” When had you even closed them? “Come on. There is no one else, just you and me. And we are safe.” 

You nod, not arguing back. Finally, you sit down, and Leon takes two steps back. “Water?” 

“I think there are some in the fridge,” you reply, cleaning your tears. Leon leaves and quickly comes back with two bottles, unbottling them for you. You shake your head, but Leon insists, and you drink in small sips, the cold liquid refreshing your dry throat. When was the last time you had any water? Or took a shower? Or slept?

Finally, you give him space on the couch to sit. Leon doesn’t, and you point your head to your side, and he sits, keeping a safe distance from you. You two say nothing for a while, simply looking at the TV to watch Bart Simpsons on his shenanigans. 

“I am sorry.”

“Would you stop that?” Leon sighs back, frustrated. 

“No. I am sorry.”

“Fine. I forgive you. Are we good now?”

“No.” 

“I knew it wouldn’t be,” Leon replies with a sad smile.

“You could have died, and I didn’t-” Leon says your name, but you continue “-let me finish. I didn’t help. I didn’t move. I did nothing.” 

Leon didn’t want to talk about this, knowing it was inevitable. The day he took a bullet for you: not one, but two. Leon noticed before you, his reflexes quicker than yours. It was his responsibility anyway.

You only watched, shocked, as the bullet pierced his leg, then his chest. You didn’t move or flinch; you just froze, your hands closing and opening nervously as Leon fell right in front of you. You had been fortunate that the backup team had arrived on the other second, finding in the middle of the swarm of bullets a screaming you protecting Leon with his own body, all training thrown out of the window. You two should have been dead. Life had given you and him another chance, since no other vital organ or vein of Leon had been damaged.

You don’t remember much after except asking for your resignation that same day and getting a “No” as an answer. So you decided to get on sick leave until some higher-up got tired and fired you.

“I did nothing.” Leon tries to interrupt you again, but you continue, “You could have died, and I did nothing.”

“It wouldn’t be your fault.” 

“What? Of course, it would!” 

“No, it would not.” 

“Can you fucking stop trying to make me feel better?” Your tone is so angry, so vile, that Leon almost flinches. 

Death is always in the back of his mind. Every time he is out there, he could die. He is expandable; they all are, but he couldn’t just let you die. You a much smarter version of what he once was during Raccoon City. The same bravery, but not foolish as his. Much sharper. Leon knew why he got paired up with you in the first place, the irony not completely lost in him. 

It would have been fine if Leon died that day he protected you, but not okay if you did. Not on his watch. Not now, not ever.

“I can’t help it,” Leon replies, a sad smile on his lips. “I can’t help it, especially when a friend needs my help.” 

A friend? 

Do not grow attachments. Wasn’t that your first lesson? It had been hard to be paired up with a man who hated it at first, then to learn how to laugh at his silly jokes or admire how far Leon would go for anyone. For anyone, except himself, stupid brave man.

You open your mouth and close it, simply lying against the sofa with your eyes closed. 

“So, let me help you?” His voice is warm and inviting. 

It would be best if you said no. You should kick this man out of your living room, out of your life, and never go back to that stupid job fighting an endless battle that would end with you dead or someone you cherished dead. You don’t know how Leon does it, but as you open your eyes, his blue eyes look straight at you awaits in hope. Waiting to comfort you, support you to the best of his abilities, and be your friend.

The pain is still there, vivid in your soul and mind, but there is hope. Right there, in that tiny spot you gave Leon S. Kennedy. That’s why you shouldn’t have opened that damn door, you realize, but it is too late. You limit on nodding.

[spookyghouly]

goodevening ghesties

i luckily tested negative for covid this morning meaning i was FINALLY free from quarantine isolation just in time to go to the ghost concert!! this is my 5th ritual in as many years and it may have been the best (though, you never forget your first 😉). here’s my ghost kia forum night 1 concert breakdown of best moments, in no particular order!

cumulus and aurora ghoulettes twirling each other, blowing kisses to each other, stroking each other’s cheeks. this one was for the dykes <3

popia, drawing out the ending to mary on a cross: “are you guys still saying cross?? I want you to say MARIJUANA!!!!!”

ABSOLUTION F U C K E D LIVE!!!!

Respite ALSO fucked like the BASS IN THE BEGINNING?? I FELT IT IN MY CHEST IN MY LUNGS, I THINK IT MADE MY HEART BEAT DIFFERENTLY. SOUL RESET. I almost cried when copia left the stage thinking about how this is probably my last time seeing him (I completely forgot the encore existed I was too swept up in It All ™ you know?)

Dancing Skeletons. They better release the film because I want to study it to learn their dance.

they had two stages set up, the normal one up front and a mini set up in the back with a grand piano and several chairs. more on that in a sec.

Seestor gave papa a boxing robe and gloves for “fighting” his way back from the small stage to the main stage. the crowd started barking at him to hype him up like he was actually about to enter a boxing ring lmaoo

when he got to the back stage papa said it was so nice to see the people in the back “in the stevie wonder seats” lmaoooo

then he said he wanted to bite us???? and had us all snarl at him like we were biting dogs. deranged behavior. love him.

okay no my true fav moment was the orchestral arrangement of if you have ghosts. it put me in such a throwback to the first ghost ritual I attended in london when he took time to introduce each band member just as ghoul. 5 years later and on another continent, it is an even more beautiful arrangement of the song. The band members were 2 cellists and a grand piano player—I couldn’t tell if the woman to the far right was playing a theremin or vocalizing—if anyone knows can you tell me?

the skeletons picked papa up at the stage right mini stage and had him like crowd surf on top of them all the way back to center stage it was AWESOME?? I hope they got a cool overhead shot of it for the recording.

they definitely knew we were all anxious he was dying tonight and there were many moments where papa faked us out that he was dying. after the first or second song he made a comment like “ah we are quickly approaching the end of this era” and later when he told us to “not be sad it’s almost over, you’ve had a good fucking time and then it must end” I couldn’t help but think he was talking about more than just the concert

on a related note, when the skeletons first came out in twenties they circled papa and I think it was a deliberate fake out/homage to when he ascended in mexico city last year when the nuns circled him.

met many delightful ppl giving away handmade bracelets, stickers, and trinkets, as well as someone who had scooped up a bunch of mummy dust bucks from the confetti gun and was passing them out by the exit 🥰💜 u people made my day

anyway here’s that haul:

this has been the update from new plushia at the forum, goodnight folks!

[urtheloml]

wonder how we got this far (i don't really need to wonder at all)

pairing: bakugou x reader w/c: 9k synopsis: you're excited about the prom, bakugou is not— disagreement ensues a/n: i'm back... first post of 2023 n the year is almost over... embarrassing 🧍🏼‍♂️this is the third n final installation to my little white lie mini-series!! read part 1 here n part 2 here!! this can be read as a standalone too :3 uhm... i started this fic in like... april (??) n completely forgot abt it until last week so i have no idea what the original plot was going 2 be but i think it turned out okay (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) also i know this fic is SOOOO overdramatic but i have watched every single movie that had a major prom scene (hsm3, the duff, mean girls, etc) n growing up, i looked forward it to SO bad that i literally used it as motivation to do well in exams. but then COVID happened so no prom experience for me so this is me basically projecting onto my writing!! okay mwah hope u like it xx o((>ω< ))o!!

Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. The opening scene of the Bee Movie plays like a mantra in your head as you're searching for something in your closet. Your ears pick up the occasional grunt or cheer from your boyfriend, who's currently laying in your bed with his DS in hand, and your eyes roll affectionately.

You can't find what you're looking for so you abandon the mess you've made in your drawer and turn to Bakugou instead. "'Katsu, have you seen my can of body glitter? It's in a little purple spray bottle."

Bakugo barely glances your way, "No, why would I have seen that. Why d'ya need it anyway?"

Your body slumps against his comfortably as you cosy up next to him on your bed and even if it's been a while, your heart still skips when he immediately tangles his legs with yours. "I need it to make myself glittery for the prom, duh. You can use it too if you want before we leave."

"Huh?"

"The prom. The dance thing we're going to, in like three days?"

Bakugou's eyebrows scrunch up confusedly as he puts his DS down and immediately a bad premonition settles in your gut. "What are you talking about? I never said I was going to that shit."

Ah. There it is. You're glad he put his game down 'cause if he wasn't looking at you while you're about to have this conversation then his console might have landed outside your window right about now. You're looking at him incredulously when you say, "What do you mean you're not going? You're my boyfriend so you have to go. It's like an unspoken rule... you can't not go to prom. Who's gonna take me then? You want me to go alone, like some loser?"

The barrage of questions makes him smile amusedly at you, but for once the sight of it induces anything but affection in you. There's no way he's taking you seriously right now. Bakugou scoffs and turns back to his game, "Huff all you want, princess, but I'm not going to the prom."

Before he can start a new game, your body lands on top of him unceremoniously so you have his undivided attention. "'Tsuki! This is our one and only prom as high schoolers. Doesn't that mean anything to you? I want to go and dance with my girls and I want to dance with you. Please?"

His jaw ticks, and he looks away from you because he knows if he stares too long then he'll cave. He refuses to go and you're not about to sway him. He has his own reasons for not wanting to go and he'll stand by them if it's the last thing he'll do.

"I told you I ain't fuckin' going, alright? You can go with your friends and you can have fun and dance with them but I'm not going. Stop pushing me on this."

His voice comes out hard and unwavering, leaving no room for argument. Also, you can't believe he just called you pushy. Bakugou, who forced a confession out of you just because he wanted you to say it first. He underestimates your persistence though, because next thing he knows, you're leaning down like you're about to kiss him and his eyes are already half-lidded but instead you bite down harshly on his nose.

Bakugou yelps but that doesn't deter you. "Can you at least tell me why you don't want to go? Because you don't want to go to a lot of things with me but you always end up going anyway. Like the nail salon, or Bath and Body Works. Why's it different this time?"

His eyes narrow and he shifts beneath you, probably trying to escape your shit fuck ton of questions but you're caging him in. He stays quiet for a whole three minutes when he finally says, "I just don't want to go, fuck, can't you just let it go and compromise for fucking once?"

What. "What?"

“I’m just saying,” Bakugou sneers, propping his elbow up below his head, “you shouldn’t be forcing me to go. You said it yourself, ya know, it feels like I’m always doing what you want.”

You falter. "That's bullshit, Katsuki. You're being really mean right now."

It seems that you used the wrong choice of words because his face turns gloomy, and you can tell he’s biting the inside of cheek as hard as he can. He places his forearm over his eyes so he can physically block out your reaction when he practically spits, “Why don’t you go date golden boy Kirishima if you think I’m so mean, huh?”

Woah. That was a low fucking blow and he knows it. He regrets bringing up his best friend’s name the moment the words leave his mouth because the way you inhale sharply and get off of him fearing for his life. The hairs on his arms rise when you start speaking to him scoldingly, and he won't even deny that he deserves it.

“I cannot believe you’re still using that against me, ‘Suki, that was more than a year ago! And don’t give me shit about not knowing how to compromise because I always eat the food you make. Even when you make it spicy on purpose even though you know I can’t handle it. And you know what? I don’t particularly like going to the gym with you on the weekends, but I still always go! And maybe sometimes I wish we could have more than just study dates but I stay and read with you anyway. And I always, always, forgive you when you do stupid shit like forgetting our anniversary or- or when you make me cry."

Almost as if your body takes cue from your words, you can feel a familiar stinging sensation creep up behind your eyelids. It starts a chain reaction because somehow Bakugou barrels on. Even though his face blanches when he sees the water on your lash line, he can’t seem to stop his mouth from moving.

"Well, fuck, sorry I'm such a shitshow to handle, princess. You knew what you were getting into when you agreed to date me. But if you’re so tired of me already, then why don't you just break up with me, huh?"

No longer was there a trace of affection or playfulness in the way he calls you ‘princess’. The word drips with condescension and malice and your heart cracks a bit at the way he speaks about himself. Bakugou's sitting on the bed now, looking up at you as you stand before him.

Yet, your gaze holds nothing but warmth and frustrated tears when you look at him. Because, much to your dismay, you also always know when there’s something up with Bakugou . He leans away for a moment when your hands come up to touch his head, but decides to let himself fall into your touch in the end.

Bakugou buries his face against your stomach, gripping onto the back of your shirt with crumpled fists. Gently, your hand cards through his messy hair, “Baby, I never said that. I never said you were hard to deal with. You’re a very easy person to deal with, and an even easier person to love. And I have never, ever, thought about leaving you. Okay? I’m sorry for making you think that."

He nods into you, the movement tickles your abdomen and he does it again and again until you start giggling and pushing his head away. Bakugou rests his chin against your navel, looking up at you with slightly glassy eyes. He knows he doesn’t deserve the kindness you’re laying onto him, doesn't deserve you in general, but he still reaches up to swipe a thumb under your eye.

“No, I was out of line. I shouldn't have said all that. I’m sorry, I was bein’ rude as shit.”

The truth is, Bakugou isn't really that easy to deal with. You can handle him just fine because you've had years of practice. To an untrained eye, maybe it'll look bad for him when he scoffs a fuck off everytime you ask to hold his hand. But you know he never means it because he always takes your hand anyway, intertwining his fingers with yours. And then he'll squeeze your hand three times; i love you, i love you, i love you.

So no, he isn't easy to deal with. His body language and words don't always correspond to what he's trying to convey but it's still plainly obvious that he quite stupidly adores you anyway. He'll yell at you for forgetting your wallet, he'll call you an idiot the whole day and then he'll pay for your lunch and walk you home the same day. If you get cold for forgetting a cardigan, he'll tease and taunt you for a whole five minutes maximum before giving you his own that he just somehow keeps forgetting to take out of his bag, as he says. He'll make a face like he just ate a lemon when he tries and fails to not make fun of you if you don’t score so well on a test, and then he’ll tutor you for hours on end until you can get it right.

It gets quite predictable.

He pulls you down then, letting your bodyweight sink onto his lap and presses a kiss against your lips in apology and you hate that it works. Hate that he can erase every mistake with a press of his lips to yours, because he never kisses you without meaning it. And you know he means to say sorry with the way his tongue slips into your mouth.

Unfortunately, the argument does not end.

He pulls away, breathing heavier than before. The bubble of calmness and comfort around you bursts explosively however when he mutters, “‘M still not going to the prom, though.”

It's not like you didn't see this coming. You knew that he didn't really care about prom, no matter how badly you wanted him to. You just thought that maybe he'd take you anyway. The thought of going without him makes your chest clench because you could have the time of your life with your girls but it won't feel the same without him next to you.

Maybe he's right. Maybe you do make him do things he doesn't really want to. But then again, you do the same for him. You're left confused and defeated when it's time for him to leave and he's still adamant on not going. On one hand, you don't want to force him to go. But on another, you really do wish he'd change his mind.

You're silent as you show him out, and he notices but he stays quiet too and in his head, he beats himself for being a coward. He hates himself for not being able to talk to you properly. He knows very well that if he just told you what's up with him then you'd understand, and you could still probably convince to go to the dance. But he doesn't speak up.

Right before he leaves, he leans down to kiss you goodnight but you turn away at the last moment so his lips meet your cheek instead. Slowly, you press a palm against his heart, pushing him away and pretending you can’t hear how it stutters at your denial.

"Hey, before you go, I'm sorry if I'm being pushy again but you-,” your voice trails off, and you sigh defeatedly, “you can't keep making me cry and just expect to kiss it better all the time, okay? And I know you don't mean to do it, but it still hurts, Bakugou. I'm tired of getting hurt all the time and I'm not forcing you to go, but I hope you know that it really fucking sucks that my own boyfriend won't go to the dance with me, and it sucks even more that he won't even tell me why."

Bakugou? What happened to Katsu or ‘Suki, he mourns internally. He keeps a blank face but it feels like the blood within his veins just got replaced with pure fucking ice as he lets your words sink in. He refuses to let his facade break but it feels like someone is grabbing him by the throat and he can’t seem to breathe right.

"If you keep making me feel like this, one day I'm not just gonna let you kiss it all better. 'Cause sooner or later, you're gonna run out of chances."

Bakugou stays unanswering, and you look at him pleadingly for him to just talk to you but he doesn't. It's not until you go to close your door that he finally speaks, voice soft but accusing, "You just said you've never thought of leaving me, and now just 'cause I'm not taking you to some stupid dance, you're taking it all back?"

If Bakugou had superpowers, pissing you off would definitely be one of them. You resist the urge to stomp your foot childishly, because you know that won't help to get your point across. Your teeth bite down on nothing as harshly as possible because you don't want to start arguing again, it won't solve anything. He knows that too, and even though your hands stay right by your side, he feels like he was just punched in the jaw when you meet his eyes and he finds that somehow, he managed to make you cry twice in one night.

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe this isn't just some stupid dance to me? I get it, okay, that it's not your scene or whatever, and it doesn't matter to you but it really matters to me," you tell him as placatingly as possible, and his eyes are as clouded as his judgement, "I've waited a long time for this, and I never thought I'd even be lucky enough to have someone who means so much to me to go with. And if you can't even see how important it is to me that I want you with me at this stupid dance, then you're the worst. The worst."

With that, you finally shut the door in his face. His muffled protests behind the slab of wood go ignored in favour of stomping back to your room. Bakugou's insufferable! He's stupid and stubborn and temperamental. He's a hothead that jumps headfirst into anything he does with everything he's got.

He's the worst. (he's the furthest thing from it)

⚝ ⚝ ⚝

Neither you nor Bakugou give in to the temptation of calling one another. When you see him in class, you don't look at him and you go straight home. The both of you being too stubborn to admit defeat by reaching out first. It hurts to admit though, that for once you wish he'd just call you. A mere three days of radio silence on both your ends doesn't do wonders for your relationship, it chips away at both of you until the hurt simmmers to a seemingly numb feeling in your hearts.

As you think of ways to spite him, your mind comes up with the idea of going with someone else. But you don't entertain that thought for longer than a second, because that would be cheating and you'd never stoop that low. He probably wouldn't even know if you did anyway.

The night before the prom, you sit on your bed forlornly, twirling the little charm bracelet that slings around your wrist. It's a cute thing that Bakugou gifted you a few months ago. It was a simple purple band with two star charms on its ends and a little saturn charm in the middle. He has a matching one in blue.

"It's beautiful, 'suki. Why saturn?" You had asked.

"Uh... I don't- I read somewhere that it kinda symbolises growth and commitments. And you know, that fits us." Katsuki answered, withholding the fact that he spent three hours reading multiple astrology sites about it even though he quite frankly thinks it's bullshit but didn't want to get the meaning wrong anyway.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. ‘Cause I wanna fucking commit to you and I'm gonna be everything you’ll ever need.”

The bracelet jingles lightly as you fidget with it. Your phone lays on your bed with no signs of him calling and a deep crushing sigh escapes you as you prepare yourself for another night of tossing and turning. The memory of what the bracelet meant lulls you to sleep and you're left wondering if he's still wearing it too, which makes you wonder even more if he's missing you as much as you're missing him or if he's missing you at all. It's hardly noticeable but you think your cheeks feel damp as your eyes fall close.

⚝ ⚝ ⚝

In his own room, Bakugou lets the dumbbell he's curling fall to the floor. He barely hears the resounding thud it makes or his mom yelling at him for dropping the weight like that. He flops onto his bed, arms spread and neck spotted with sweat. His mind swims with thoughts of you and he wishes it wasn't so hard for him to just fucking open up to you. His insides twist just thinking about the way he left things with you, it makes him feel stupid and he hates it.

It's not like he doesn't want to take you to the prom. If anything, he'd love to do that. He wants to show you off so bad. Have you all pretty, draped over his arm and looking gorgeous in whatever dress you wanted to wear. God does he want to, he wants everyone to see you with him and he'd bask in his smugness that no one else gets to have you like this but him. He'd relish in the absolute envy on anyone else's face as that saw you with him. Because everyone knows, including himself, that you're too good for him. And now he's gone and fucked it all up.

For all the confidence he exudes, Bakugou Katsuki is actually not someone who's void of insecurities. If anything, his confidence is just a front to his crackling interior. But not always, because sometimes he is quite the hot shit. Anyway.

Contrary to your belief, he doesn't want to go to the prom for your sake. He's heard the things people have said about you- or rather, he's heard what has been said about you in regards to your relationship with him. Just thinking about it makes him feel nauseous all over again. He wasn't supposed to hear it, he thinks.

He'd been walking past the girl's toilet whilst looking for you. It wasn't on him that girls talk so fuckin' loudly. Like c'mon, in his defence, if you're going to talk shit about someone, at least do it quietly so that the person aforementioned won't hear his own name like a siren beckoning him to eavesdrop. So really, it's not his fault for pressing his back against the wall to hear the rest. He can't put a name to the two voices (why would he be able to) but from what they're saying, they know him apparently.

..."... I bet he's forcing her. To date him, I mean."

"I don't know... they seem pretty lovey-dovey and all gross to me. If you ask me, she should leave now and find someone better."

"That's called conditioning. Or like, stockholm syndrome. I mean, let's be serious, who wants to willingly date Bakugou of all people. He's like if the word aggression was personified. He's mental, I swear."

They laugh, gaudy.

"I bet he's gonna show up to the dance with the poor girl, 'cause he's way too fucking clingy. Have you noticed that he's practically by her side almost 24/7. Hope they don't turn up together, like give that girl a break."

So. He wasn't supposed to hear that. He wasn't supposed to fucking hear that, and for a good fucking reason. At that moment, it felt like his heart was stuck in his throat while simultaneously, his stomach dropped to his ass. He doesn't cry. He's not that bothered by it. But it makes his head spin that people actually think of him like that.

By then, he wasn't thinking straight, because if he was, then he'd know not to make assumptions about how everyone felt about him based on two girls' conversation. Alas, he's not thinking straight, so, fuck it.

He doesn't know if you remember but he barely said anything when he walked you home.

It hurt him, but everything they said about him wasn't anything he hadn't heard before. It was the way they talked about you that got to him. How you were unhappy or being forced, they said. It's the way he's tried his hardest to pour his heart and soul into you and him and it's still seemingly not enough for people around him to think that you're both undeniably gone for each other.

It makes him upset, because he thinks he's been doing a pretty good job at showing you just how much you mean to him, but apparently fuckin' not. He's obviously not doing something right. Which makes him feel frustrated because he can't figure it out. He tells you he loves you plenty. Okay, maybe not plenty but he does say it. He says it and he knows you know that he’s trying to show it in his own words. He always keeps a jacket for you, he’s never let you fail a test since you got together and he always always makes you extra food that he makes for himself. Maybe he’s done something wrong along the way.

It's not like he unintentionally made the food spicy for you. Sometimes it just slips his mind that your portion can't be the same level of spicy as his is. And he knows how sad you get when you fail an exam, which is why he forgoes normal dates to sit and study with you. Of course he'd much rather do something like hiking or fucking, he doesn't know, laser tag with you, but he'd always put your education first. He knows how much it means to you after all.

An ugly feeling nags at him. It makes him want to pull away from you, show some distance so people would stop talking for a bit. But another part of him wants to run to your house right now and tell you I'm sorry. please don't leave. I can do better. Neither of those feelings actually make him do anything, though, because he's stubborn and refuses to cave.

Ugh. He thinks, before promptly passing out on his bed.

⚝ ⚝ ⚝

The evening of the prom arrives. You're standing in front of your mirror, all dressed up and pretty. Your dress accentuates your curves amazingly and you've adorned your cheeks with small star-shaped rhinestones and sprayed a generous amount of body glitter all over yourself. The shimmer makes itself known in every crevice of your room but it doesn't bother you right now.

An imaginary Bakugou makes himself comfortable on your bed. He's eyeing you up and down and groaning appreciatively at the sight he's been blessed with. Fuckin' gorgeous, he says, just like you know he would if he were actually here. You're wearing his colours after all.

Your hands smooth down your dress incessantly for the nth time that night, as if getting rid of the imperceptible wrinkles on your dress would get rid of the thoughts in your head as well. It doesn't, but it makes you feel calmer. Maybe some would call it dramatic, or stupid, but you don't even really feel like going without him.

You don't want to miss out on your prom, and you still want to dance with your friends and eat cheap shitty food though. So maybe your hair droops a little, akin to your mood, but you leave your house shining and smiling anyway.

And when you get there, things start looking up. Whoever's in charge of the music has been doing an amazing job of not playing Closer by the Chainsmokers on repeat yet so that's win in your book. In fact, they're not playing any songs that would give the average retail worker war flashbacks, which means they're doing a phenomenal job.

The hall is mostly full by the time you and your friends find a table near the back. There's a line at the punch table and you can already tell that it's probably spiked with something judging by the students practically dry-humping one another on the dancefloor, much to one of the school's chaperone's dismay.

The first hour passes by without a hitch. The buffet table is lined with cheap pizzas, stale fries and other questionable foods like jello cups that you're not sure is even made with real jelly. But your friends eat it anyway and you do too because food poisoning's all part of the party package.

At the back of the hall, there's a photo booth with props and signs for everyone to take. Your friends and yourself take ungodly amounts of pictures at the booth, laughing loudly without a care in the fucking world. You don't let yourself think about how Bakugou would scoff at the choice of props, you refuse to let yourself think about how he'd pose after choosing something equally stupid and you absolutely do not let yourself think about how much brighter you'd be smiling if he were here with you. You don't.

The sound system blares songs from bands you're somewhat familiar with, the bass of the songs echo and reverberate throughout the dancehall. It amplifies the adrenaline running through your veins as you jump around with the rest of the people in the hall. It feels silly and unnatural but you're giggling and swaying and it isn't so bad when you've got your girls right next to you doing the same thing.

It's easy to forget about all the aches when you let yourself get lost in the crowd. You're pushed into the middle of the dancefloor that's definitely filled with people who don't go to your school.

A song that you vaguely recognise by The Weeknd plays over the speakers and it's so fast paced that your heart thumps to the bass of the song. The tremors echo through the hall, shaking the floor and it becomes so easy to forget why you were upset in the first place.

The song ends and cheers from half-drunk high schoolers fills the temporary silence that follows. The DJ announces that he's about to slow things down a little for a kick of romance. He stretches out the word romance so it sounds more like roooowmaynceee and when the music fades into something mellower, it becomes even easier to remember.

It becomes increasingly harder to ignore the pitiful glances your friends send your way as they're whisked away by their own dates. Humiliation and longing pools in your belly as you watch your friends get their waists held and their bodies swayed and it fucking sucks. Even though you wave dismissively at them, it does look quite pathetic when you slowly move to stand against the wall by yourself.

Your eyes sweep over the couples dancing, and you pray that no one asks you to dance while you're being a wallflower. You don't think you'd want to dance with anyone but him anyway. Distantly, your mind wanders to Bakugou, and you're left thinking about what he must be doing at this hour. Maybe he's studying, or watching a movie, or cooking something inedible like always. Maybe he's already asleep. Maybe he's missing you and he's on his way over here right now.

Nobody is crueler to you than yourself, you think, as you let your mind wander dangerously into that false pretence of hope that he might change his mind about showing up.

There's a phantom feeling that glides over your skin as you watch your friends dance, and you wrap your hands around your elbows to soothe it. The sweat from your earlier dancing cools off as the air in the hall gets cooler and you're not sure if it's the crisp, cold air, or the fact that you're painfully aware of Katsuki's absence that makes your throat sting each time you inhale.

⚝ ⚝ ⚝

In the end, Katsuki's mother is the one who quite literally knocks some sense into him. Mitsuki Bakugou is not a force to be reckoned with, ever, and as tough and cool Katsuki makes himself seem, he'll always be a little bit intimidated by his mom. It's why he tries to seem as nonchalant as possible as he sits on his couch while staring unblinkingly at the TV.

Mitsuki pops her head into the living room. Fuck, he didn't think she'd be home so soon.

"Katsuki? What the hell are you still doing here?"

"You going crazy, hag? It's a Friday night, am I not allowed to take a fuckin' break or what?" He swallows.

"Language, asshat. And I just stopped by Inko's, brat, I know what day it is today," she sighs annoyedly before plopping down next to him, "She tried to show me Every. Single. Photo of Izuku in his tux. I had to tell her I left the stove on to get out of there. So quit the bullshit. Why are you still here?"

Katsuki has a pillow in his lap and he squeezes it until his knuckles turn pale so his voice won't waver.

"She didn't want me to take her," he lies, hoping his mom will take the bait.

Mitsuki shoves her son's head to the side good-naturedly, "I thought I told you to quit the bullshit, brat. That girl adores the hell out of you for some fucking reason, so don't try to lie to me."

It's that one goddamn line that has him snapping at her. It's her words and the stupid girls in the stupid fucking toilet and it's an amalgamation of everything that has him wanting to tear his fucking hair out that makes him lose it.

"Yeah, okay, fuck you too mom. You're right, I don't fucking know why someone like her wants to be with someone as fucked up and angry and- and mean and aggressive as I am too, alright? Everyone at school already fucking wonders why she even wants me so I didn't take her to this stupid fucking prom 'cus maybe they'll get off my back about fucking forcing her to be with me. I'm not in the goddamn mood to be hearing about this shit so fuck off. I wish I knew what the fuck she sees in me that's so good but I don't so just stop this fucked up interrogation, God."

He's not even looking at the TV anymore. He spits out his outburst while staring straight at his hands fisted in the poor pillow. It'll never uncrease now. His jaw is clenched so tightly he's scared his teeth might just shatter in his mouth. He doesn't want to look at his mom right now, too afraid to see her pitiful gaze directed at him. Doesn't want to hear her say you're right Katsuki, I don't know what she sees in you either.

Katsuki braces himself for an impact, knowing he's probably about to get smacked for talking to her like that. He doesn't expect the hand that gently lands atop his head, and he doesn't expect the hand that's curling behind his ears to turn his head towards her. Mitsuki looks at her son, making sure he really looks at her this time.

"Katsuki." She says, as gentle as the first time she held him in her arms. It doesn't matter how many years have passed, he looks just as small to her right now, and just like the day he was born, she will wrap him up and make sure he knows how loved he is.

"Katsuki, listen. I'm sorry for saying that," Mitsuki exhales, "It was a joke, but it was insensitive and I'm sorry. Every other time I said something like that about you wasn't true either. You're a good son and a good student and a good person. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, or says about you because the people who truly care about you know that you're a good fucking person, Katsuki."

Katsuki can barely hold eye contact with her. As embarrassing as it is, his vision blurs over and he will never acknowledge the way his voice breaks. "Mom," he shudders, "I'm always trying so fucking hard. I want to be good, please."

A noise that sounds like a choked back sob escapes him unwillingly. Mitsuki pulls his face into her shoulder and smiles when he barely resists. He fits just like he did before he thought hugging her wasn't cool anymore.

"You are good. You are so good, Katsuki." she whispers, "You always help to cook, and you keep the house clean and your grades up. You don't speak politely but you are honest and you are just like me. You use your hands, actions, to communicate rather than words. But you know, Katsuki, sometimes the people we love need to hear it from us too, okay? We'll both work on that."

A miniscule nod. "I'll start right now, Katsuki. You may be a brat sometimes, but you are my son. My sun. You are good, and kind and for everything you do not love about yourself, I love it tenfold."

He absolutely does not break at that. Katsuki bites back a whine, and exhales shakily again, soaking in her words like a sponge because he knows these moments for them come few and far in between. He doesn't mind. He thinks it's special that way, cherishing it whenever it does happen even more.

Mitsuki cards her hands through his hair, "You're a winner, Katsuki, that's why you have your name. Don't let whatever happened get to you like this. If you don't go to that stupid prom, you'll be making the biggest mistake of your life. Because I love you very much, and it might even be possible that that girl of yours loves you just as much, or maybe even a smidge more. Get your ass changed, and talk to her, alright? I know it's scary, letting someone in, but you care about her and you need to do this."

Katsuki pulls away from her, wiping his face roughly with his arms. He sniffles harshly, trying to erase all traces of the vulnerability he just showed. He bites his lip hard enough to almost draw blood. He wants to say he loves her back but the words fail him. Not yet, he thinks.

"I don't know what colour her dress is." He says instead.

"Wear your red suit. Don't ask questions, go get ready. You're already late, I'll call a cab for you."

Katsuki nods, getting up to walk to his room. He's halfway up the stairs when he pauses for a second. "Thanks mom. Love you."

Mitsuki waves her hand dismissively in his direction.

Katsuki stands in front of his mirror, inspecting everything he sees as if that'll change the way he feels about himself. His mom talking to him helped a lot, but he's still finding it hard to breathe and it's not just because his collar is choking him a bit. He fiddles with his bracelet. He tries to ground himself as he thinks about whether he should put on a different suit.

He really wishes he listened to what you were saying when you were talking about your dress. What if he shows up and his suit clashes with your dress? That would just make your night worse.

It's ridiculous. He knows he's just procrastinating. Because thinking about suit colours is easier than thinking about the crippling insecurity that still sits heavily on his shoulders, shackling him with the sheer weight of it all. He'd rather think about the colour of your dress than the fact that he feels like he can't give you what you deserve in a boyfriend.

His reflection frowns back at him.

The words you said play in his head like a broken record. You are the worst, you told him. He thinks of all the things he never really says to you because for some reason his emotionally constipated self just can't bring himself to say them. (Because he says I love you, but he means he hopes you never trip on your shoelaces if they're untied, that your hair never tangles in the wind, that if your drink spills not a drop of it would touch you, that your hands are always warm, that you'd never forget to bring your headphones before you leave the house and that you're always safe whenever he's not with you. Because he says I love you, but he means he hopes that if the sky were to drizzle, the raindrops themselves would feel privileged just to be able to fall upon your skin. Because he says I love you but he means he hopes you know he wants to say it right to your face, and into your mouth and kiss the words and every version of it's meaning into the space where your shoulder meets your neck every morning when he wakes up and every night before he lets himself succumb to slumber. He says I love you, but he means more than what those words convey. He says I love you, but he means stay warm, stay safe. He says I love you but he means my heart belongs more to you than me. He says I love you but he means he'll never want anything else for as long as he lives if it meant you'd always stay with him. He says I love you but he means come home to me and keep coming home to me, please.)

Oh.

If he could kick himself for being so stupid, he would. But he can't so he'll let you do it for him instead. I am not a coward, he tells himself as his unsteady hands try to make his hair look less of a mess. It doesn't work so he leaves it be and dashes out the door with an undone tie around his neck and he hastily side-hugs his mom- dodging her attempts to groom him- before throwing himself into the cab.

He doesn't make it a habit to show up late, but hopefully this time you'll forgive him. This time showing up late is better than not at all.

He's never made it a habit to show up late but maybe this time showing up late is better than not showing up at all. He drums his fingers nervously on his thigh throughout the entire ride. He hopes to God you're having fun. He hopes you know he's on the way. He hopes, and hopes and prays that he hasn't lost his chance.

When he arrives, he doesn't even spare a glance for his own friends, too preoccupied with finding you. The hall isn't very big but the space is large enough that he has to walk around a few times just to spot you.

The minute he sees you leaning against the wall, he wishes desperately he could go back in time. He'd do fucking anything to erase that faraway look in your eyes. He can see the way you're yearning to be one of the couples on the dancefloor and he wants to unwrap your hands around yourself and replace it with his own.

Katsuki breathes in deep and makes his way towards you cus damn it, if you wanted a dance, he'll give you a fucking dance alright.

⚝ ⚝ ⚝

The last slow song finally slowly tunes out, transitioning into a more upbeat one. The couples finally disentangle themselves from one another and you're just about to step back onto the dancefloor when a very familiar pair of arms snake around your waist.

You didn't even see him come in. It doesn't matter how he apparated here, because the only thing that matters right now is the fact that he showed up and the way his arms fit snugly around your hips. A breathless sound of disbelief escapes your lips as he pulls you into him when you turn around to face him.

If he's surprised by the lack of anger or disappointment on your face, he doesn't show it. All he knows is the feeling of your arms coming up to rest up on his shoulders. With the way you're beaming up at him, anyone would think that the only thing he did was show up almost two hours late. He knows better though, he knows he fucked up when all you wanted was for him to bring you to this stupid dance. And on God, would he try his hardest to make it up to you.

Katsuki leans into you, burying his nose into your hair that's all pinned up and pretty. He's getting glitter all over his face and suit and he doesn't care at all.

"I'm sorry," he exhales, letting the apology spill out of him, "'M so fuckin' sorry, princess."

It's so quiet, you almost think he never said it at all. In the background, you can just barely register the lyrics of Paramore's Still Into You that's currently playing. A litany of 'thank yous' is mentally conveyed to the DJ.

"And what are you sorry for?"

Katsuki clenches his jaw, his eyes darting away from yours like he's struggling not to look away. He groans before telling you, "There’s been rumours going on, people talking shit like they know us. Saying fuck all, running their fuckin’ mouths about how you could do better than me. And it’s stupid that I believed them for even a millisecond, I know. Then I realised that if I let you show up here alone then i’d just be proving those fuckers right. So, you win, princess. I took you to this stupid prom. I showed up, ‘m here right now."

Even though it's been said before, the lack of confidence Katsuki has in himself is absolutely baffling. It's like he can admit he has flaws and weaknesses and he'll know exactly what the problem is but he won't fucking talk to you for some reason you can't figure out.

Nvermind, you figured it out.

He's scared. Bakugou Katsuki is fearless. He's not afraid of anything, because he knows everything he's afraid of can be defeated one way or another. His fear of failure is conquered with his efforts in order to secure success. His fear of inferiority to anyone that's a threat towards him can be overtaken by brandishing his own achievements like a sword, or like armour. But when you come along, suddenly it becomes: Bakugou Katsuki was fearless.

The only thing he's scared of is losing you. That’s something that he alone can’t control, because you could very well decide to leave him if you ever felt like it. He realises that if he didn't show up tonight, the chances of that happening would be much much higher, and then if he lost you, he'd be a loser. Bakugou Katsuki is not a loser.

Your chest tightens at the thought that he actually believed that you’d leave him for someone better, as if someone like that even existed. One of your hands reaches up to curl around his neck, forcing him to look at you. You shake your head firmly when he tries leaning away.

You’re glad your voice remains steady when you say, "You should've talked to me. ‘Suki, I can’t believe you almost blew me off because of some shit some people we don’t even know thought about us. They don’t know anything about us, alright? They don’t fucking know how good I have it with you and you shouldn't keep all that to yourself next time, okay?”

His grip tightens, “You should’ve heard them though. Girls are fuckin’ ruthless. Talking about how easily you could just fuck off and get with someone better. Saying I... I'm forcing you to be with me. Fuck, it made me feel like shit ‘cause I knew there was some truth in what they said. I know I can stand to be nicer to you.”

Your hands find their way to his undone tie and you tug, “Katsuki, I don’t care about what they said. You hear me?”

Once he nods, you go on, "I couldn't do any better than you, because you're already the best. You said it yourself. If you think I deserve better, then be better, 'cause I don't want anyone but you. So stop trying to push me away. Whoever started all this can fucking eat our asses 'cause clearly they don't need their mouths if all they're gonna do is talk shit."

"Holy fuck, you really need to stop spending so much time with me." Katsuki snorts.

With a laugh, he twirls you around two times all while complaining that you're starting to sound exactly like him. But you’re not so sure he really minds so much judging by the way he grins wickedly at you. When his arms go back to their rightful place, you rest your forehead against his chest, "Also, let me? 'Suki, I did show up here alone. Which means that technically, you didn't really take me here, you know? 'Cause I had to come here all by myself."

Katsuki huffs and puffs, and leans back far enough to flick your forehead softly. He sways you slowly to the music, despite how fast the music is, "What matters is that I'm here. I’m fuckin' sorry for making you show up here all alone. Look, I’m even dancing with ya, ain’t that enough?”

Am I enough?

Katsuki says all that like he's exasperated with you but really he's posing it as a question. He's asking, and looking for a chance to redeem himself. Like always, you rest even more of your weight against him, knowing you can let yourself go boneless against him and he'll hold you all the same. He's all strong and soft and sturdy and you can hear his heartbeat thundering beneath his clothes and you make sure he can hear you when you say, "You've always been more than enough."

You can feel the way any lingering tension escapes him when you tell him that. He tells you softly, promises you that he'll start opening up more to you, and he kisses you on the cheek to really seal it in. The song echoes throughout the room, thrumming in your veins and making you feel weightless.

Some things just, some things just make sense and one of those is you and I.

His eyes don't waver as he really takes you in, savouring the image of how good you look. He sears the image of you into his brain and he hopes you know how serious he means when he rasps, "Fuck, ya look gorgeous by the way. Absolutely fucking stunnin' and I really fuckin' wish no one else but me could look at ya." His hands run down your sides slowly and squeeze at your hips, eliciting goosebumps all over your skin.

Heat quickly floods your cheeks and pools in your tummy, and his hands tighten his hold on you. You grin at him, "Well, ignoring your tie, I think you look very handsome as well. I'm surprised our colours didn't clash."

Katsuki barks a laugh at that. If only you knew.

It's quite the scene to see you and him swaying gently to such a hyped up tune. Everyone mostly crowds up around the front of the hall. But you and Katsuki hang back from the big mass of sweaty bodies, choosing to stand nearer to the opposite end of the room. If your friends look at you weird, you don't take notice. It's as if you're in your own little world; just you and him.

The second chorus sounds and Katsuki dips you as low as he can get before you yell at him. When you come back up, he's looking at you all starry eyed, staring directly at your lips. He can't stop himself, he cuts you off while you're singing along to kiss you right then. He swallows the little 'mmphrh!' that comes out of your throat greedily, sliding one of his hands up your back all the way to the cuff of your neck to press you even closer into him.

"Fuckin' missed you and your pretty fucking mouth, baby." he sighs breathlessly into you.

It's barely a chaste kiss, looking quite messy for a high school prom. Thankfully no staff member comes in between you and him, so he pulls away slowly before leaning back in. He kisses you once, twice and then some more and even a fifth and sixth time, like he's making up for all the days he didn't.

After he's satisfied with all the kisses he's peppered on your face, he leans away, smiling sillily. "She's right, you know?"

Your eyebrows furrow but your lips quirk up anyway, "What are you talking about?"

Katsuki spins you slowly, "The singer. She's right," and leads you back into him before singing monotonously, "After all this time, I'm still into you."

"You are such a loser, that was so cringe. Oh my god, what the fuck," you laugh, but your heart squeezes in affection.

Katsuki doesn't know if it's the haphazardly hung disco ball and the flashing lights that makes your eyes shine and sparkle or if it's just you, but he can't tear his eyes away from you. You're looking at him like he split the oceans for you, and he thanks every star in the sky that you're letting him hold you this close again.

If he knew how unreal you’d look when you’re dancing in his arms, he never would’ve ditched this thing. What a shame, he thinks, that he missed out on two whole hours that could have been spent with you looking like this. Maybe it’s the air in the hall but he feels practically giddy at the sight of you enjoying yourself, and it makes his heart fucking leap because it’s him that’s making you smile like that.

The sides of his mouth hurt from how much they've been stretched tonight, but he can't keep the smile off his face when you say, "You're right though. She is right."

He hums along to the tune, because denies it as he may, he absolutely loves this song just as much as you do.

Your eyes drink up the sight of Katsuki dressed up so… in character. His hair is as messy as ever, his tie hangs loose and undone around his neck and you’re sure his suit jacket has seen better days but he looks fucking ethereal to you. He’s all lethal grins and loud laughter and his cologne smells as spicy and warm as it always does and you realise again just how in love you are with him.

Katsuki’s eyes are gleaming, and maybe it’s just a trick in the light but you’re reminded of just how lucky you are to have him like this. Because maybe he is brash and harsh when he talks to you, but he’s never treated you like you’re anything but the most important thing in his life. To him, you’re his favourite person in the whole world, and he doesn’t need to say it out loud because he knows you know it too.

So maybe Katsuki isn't easy to read, or deal with. That doesn't mean he's not easy to love. Because loving him was like breathing— instinctual and  inevitable. You loved him the way the moon loved the ocean, and the way the sun loved the stars. Loving him was the easiest thing you've ever done in your life, and you knew that wasn’t ever going to change.

And baby even on our worst nights, I'm into you. Let 'em wonder how we got this far, 'cause I don't really need to wonder at all. Yeah, after all this time, I'm still into you

⚝ ⚝ ⚝

(extra)

Later, when the two of you have sufficiently made out against the wall enough for the chaperones to flick water at Katsuki so he'll finally pull away, you'll find his hand and pull him along to the rest of your friends.

Kirishima will see you two and laugh, telling Katsuki he's glad he pulled his head out of his ass. Katsuki will hiss, "Kay why ess..." and drag you to the photo booth. You won't tell him, but you're secretly glad that you were right. He does scoff at the assortment of props but he picks up a stupid styrofoam emoji of a bomb.

He pushes you into the booth and sets the timer for the picture. Right as it's about to go off, he looks at you very seriously as he says, "You put the boom-boom into my heart," before absolutely smashing the emoji against your cheek.

"KATSU I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU-"

The photos come out blurry and you're wide-mouthed and laughing in all of them. He's looking at you like you're the only thing that exists. There’s barely any inches between you and him like you’re the sun and he’s every planet that orbits your celestial body.

Katsuki walks you home afterwards, laughing and stealing your body heat as he delivers you to your doorstep. When you kiss him goodnight, he thinks he must have known you in every life before this one for him to have the capacity to love you as much as he does. He keeps his copy of the photo in his wallet, signing the back with 'still into you xx'.

Not that he needs the reminder.

[rin-tezuka]

hello to the previous anons

i am one of the fabled "ex-4chan tgirls." i spent 15 years on there. oops!

i will not be beating the "loser" or "virgin" or "jobless" allegations. but other than that, i liked to post anonymously. that was it. its more fun to post when someone cannot try to pwn you with something you said three years ago. there used to be a whole slew of sites like this (420chan! ch6! bubblebbs! sushigirl! old saovq!) & i liked most of them for this reason

some time ago you were able to start a thread about whatever weirdo topic you wanted (eg photography or linux windowmanagers or low budget eastern european pc games) & people would see it and reply, provided u were on the right board. no need to spend weeks/months ingratiating yourself in whatever community surrounds it before you "earned" permission to have a little chat. it was Nice, much kinder to my agoraphobia than most pseudonymous websites. then august 2014 happened, then 2016, then 2019, then covid,,,,,, ah well

there are multiple people on /lgbt/. a good number of them are bad people but there are different kinds of bad people. extreme social isolation makes you an asshole. i will not try to disprove this - tumblr alone is evidence of it. but you can be an asshole hikikomori and also read your lenin! or at least listen to audiobooks while playing runescape or whatever... i dont understand why people think these are contradictory.

consider also that 4chan has better word filters than tumblr (full regex support w/ the normal browser extensions). for a long time if u played ur cards right u could spend a whole day on your favorite midtier boards and not see a single racist or *phobe (at least til past few years when some sharty dork found a trove of botched surgery photos & i finally had to leave). vs tumblr or twitter where u always end up seeing someone trying to epically dunk on a screenshotted terf or whatever. ofc this has changed over time and i find it unbearable now - the people i actually wanted to talk to/read posts from have gradually left as the soyjakparty+groyper generations moved in. theres nothing left of interest to me there. also, im old now. but i would like for people to recognize that "ex 4chan" does not mean "uses racism to cope" or whatever, the same way "i use tumblr" doesn't mean "i make homoerotic marvel movie gifsets and/or will kill you if you imply transmisandry isn't the defining issue of our era." conversation websites have multiple people on them. 4chan has multiple boards. each board has multiple people on it.

that said /lgbt/ is an extraordinarily bad board. transphobia from other trans people is laser targeted in ways mumsnet users cannot fathom, as i'm sure you're all aware. i spent less than a year there and im still paying for it psychologically. occasional cute screenshottable post aside it is functionally a proana forum, except your therapist has no chance of understanding what it is. +like proana forums it is almost more accurate to think of the people stuck in it as victims rather than criminals. you cannot understand what that shit does to your psyche until you are the one suffocating in it. only "worth" going there if you are doing shulginesque n=1 research on selfharming with the computer, which is not something you should ever do. but /mu/+/jp/ 10-15 years ago were Not like that. (i miss u /bleep/...) long post sorry thank you for reading death to israel i will get drunk now yay :)

.

[garmmy]

2024 jp trip report (food edition)

i had originally planned to visit tokyo in 2020, but covid happened and...finally this year i managed to go on the trip! ;w; i rarely go overseas but it was really fun just walking around and stumbling upon things. i want to save up for the next japan trip already...

i'm making the post mostly to remember where i've been! i'm splitting up the food and the sights because of tumblr's image limit per post 🙄 will be posting the food here!

(sights edition here)

Day 1 (13/5/2024)

we arrived at night so pretty much everything was closed, but before i went to bed i had some cold haikara udon...i love cold udon so much and wish there was a way to get it cheap back home 😭 i also added some chilli oil with garlic, but it wasn't spicy..only the first day in and i miss singapore's spicy food 😂

Nakau なか卯 (chain store, multiple outlets)

Day 2 (14/5/2024)

we spent day 2 at ikebukuro and nakano...mostly browsing weeb shit 😭

started the day with some breakfast at komeda's coffee, they have a morning set and auugfhjhghh the bread used in japan cafes' toast is always so soft and fluffy..obsessed

Komeda's Coffee コメダ��琲店 (chain store, multiple outlets)

at nakano broadway, the basement had some supermarkets/grocery stores and one of them sold sashimi. i didn't end up buying from here, but...LOOK at this sashimi, for 580jpy?? omg 😭😭😭 i want

we had lunch at a hayashi rice place near nakano broadway! i had curry omurice myself while my friend got the hayashi omurice. the omelette was sooo good...society if i could cook an egg like this on my own

Hayashi-ya Nakano-so ハヤシ屋中野荘 164-0001 Tokyo, Nakano City, Nakano, 5 Chome-55-15

and for dinner we had monjayaki at ikebukuro..we've never tried like, actually cooking the monjayaki before? so it was a fun experience!

Monjaya Mon もんじゃや紋 170-0013 Tokyo, Toshima City, Higashiikebukuro, 1 Chome−12−10 ヤンズビル 3F

Day 3 (15/5/2024)

on my morning walk i decided to try a canned drink from a vending machine. satsuma-imo milk! so in singapore, there was recently a 'nutri-grade' rating introduced mandatory for all drinks to indicate the sugar level in the drink. i didn't think i would miss it in japan LOL i'm sorry but drinking this drink was like drinking sugar syrup T_TT i think as i got older my sugar tolerance has drastically dropped..

we started at akihabara, and had brunch at niku no mansei (yes the well-known building with like 10 floors of meat before it closed, i think it split into a couple of places?) we went to the akiba place branch for their hemborger hamburg steak...how am i supposed to go back to eating it in singapore after this?? 🫠 IT'S SO GOOD (i'm also laughing at the token broccoli though)

Niku no Mansei Akiba Place 肉の万世 アキバプレイス店 101-0021 Tokyo, Chiyoda City, Sotokanda, 3 Chome−15−1, Akiba Place, 3F

after akiba we went to asakusa, and since it's asakusa we had to have some tendon..we just went into one of the tendon places we spotted but i didn't realise it was akimitsu!? we have akimitsu in singapore too 😂 but loved the tempura eel!

Akimitsu 秋光 111-0032 Tokyo, Taito City, Asakusa, 1 Chome-29-11

Day 4 (16/5/2024)

i got some plum onigiri from famima for breakfast on my morning walk. oughgkhghjh i already miss conbini onigiri so much...affordable yet tasty! i really love onigiri, but our convenience store onigiri in singapore is a bit overpriced, which wouldn't be so bad if the onigiri itself wasn't also terrible with cold hard rice :')

we started the day at tsukiji outer market. SEAFOOD..... we finally got some sashimi today, my beloved,,, we had engawa truffle salt sushi and also a sashimi bowl of the day. and also it was my first time trying shiokara! apparently it's squid in a kind of sauce made from fermented fish/sea animal innards. i'm not sure if it might be an acquired taste, but for a seafood lover like me it was so good 🥺 the lady serving us food was also really nice and we had a little chat even with our terrible spoken japanese lol.

Taneichi たねいち 104-0045 Tokyo, Chuo City, Tsukiji, 4 Chome-9-5

i also found shirako in the market! it was my first time eating it (i think it can be found in singapore? but not particularly common). other than the shiso leaf it was served plain though, while i like the taste i kinda wish i had rice or something to go with it.

also we got some matcha latte from the market before leaving! i got the 'less sweet' which was perfect, when a lot of times the least sweet (without being zero sugar) option from drink stores are too sweet for me..

Matcha Stand Maruni マッチャスタンドマルニ 104-0045 Tokyo, Chuo City, Tsukiji, 4 Chome−14−18

some ramen for dinner at ryogoku! admittedly i'm not a super into ramen person 😅 but butter in noodles is always such a nice combo!

Tadokoro Shoten 田所商店 (chain store, multiple outlets)

and some parfait for supper. look at their logo!! so cute 🥹🥹🥹

Mayonaka Farm (Ryogoku Yokozuna Yokocho outlet) 真夜中牧場 両国横綱横丁店 130-0026 Tokyo, Sumida City, Ryogoku, 3 Chome-22-8

Day 5 (17/5/2024)

started the day with some zaru soba. it was nice but cold soba was kind of a mistake because it was raining that morning and so COLD lol

Yudetaro ゆで太郎 (chain store, multiple outlets)

we started at shinjuku today and walked our way down to shibuya. with my friend's recommendation we tried blue bottle coffee? the latte was nice and even had this natural sweetness(?) to it despite not adding sugar.

Blue Bottle Coffee ブルーボトルコーヒー (chain store, multiple outlets)

and then we went to takeshita street. i think marion crepes is the most well-known one, but the queue..??? so we ended up going to another crepe store. it's still a treat and has a variety of flavours! i got the regular strawberry whipped cream.

Santa Monica Crepes サンタモニカクレープ 150-0001 Tokyo, Shibuya City, Jingumae, 1 Chome-16-16-8

late lunch at yomenya goemon! i had the tarako butter one and i really liked it...i think i could try buying some mentaiko from donki back home and trying it out myself..

Yomenya Goemon 洋麵屋 五右衛門 (chain store, multiple outlets)

Day 6 (18/5/2024)

conbini haul for the morning. i would like to shoutout to famima's pudding in particular; i feel a lot of store-bought pudding tend to be closer to the jelly-like consistency, but i prefer my pudding to be closer to the creamy? eggy? like consistency and famima's pudding is perfect for the price ;w;

we went to miura peninsula in kanagawa for the day using the misaki maguro ticket (it's so worth!! highly recommend if you want a day trip from tokyo). for breakfast we had some coffee and toast at coffee house poem. their signature blend (kaigan blend) in particular was really unique and nice..kinda regret not ordering that for myself 😂 love the rustic interior too!

Coffee House Poem (Miurakaigan outlet) ぽえむ三浦海岸駅前店 238-0101 Kanagawa, Miura, Minamishitauramachi, Kamimiyada-3130

nearby there's a souvenir shop selling mainly jams, and pickles (including daikon, one of miura's specialties). did you know that i hated eating radish until japanese daikon changed my life 🤣 i also got some persimmon jam to try since i'd never really heard of it! and also some honey+daikon candy.

Temiyage Iroiro Miura Store 手土産いろいろ 三浦ストア 238-0101 Kanagawa, Miura, Minamishitauramachi, Kamimiyada-3255

and finally we got SUSHI...i could cry the maguro here is so good 😭😭😭😭😭 the place is called 'kaitenzushi kaisen', but the sushi does not actually 'kaiten'/revolve, the chefs just serve it 😂 we used the maguro ticket on this so we got some maguro and some local catch!

Kaitenzushi Kaisen 廻転寿司 海鮮 238-0101 Kanagawa, Miura, Minamishitauramachi, Kamimiyada-3372-18

we then took the train to misakiguchi station, and the bus to misaki port. there's a market there called urari marche, which sells seafood and veggies mainly. we got some skewer hotate (scallop) and maguro karaage there! i was not a big fan of the maguro karaage though..i still think maguro is best as sashimi lol

Urari Marché うらりマルシェ 238-0243 Kanagawa, Miura, Misaki, 5 Chome-3-1

right next to the port was a cafe i used my ticket on, for some danish loaf with pistachio ice cream and a coffee drink. the ice cream goes so well with the fruity loaf!

3204 bread&gelato 238-0243 Kanagawa, Miura, Misaki, 3 Chome-12-10

Day 7 (19/5/2024)

went for a short walk at ueno park in the morning. there were some food stalls there! we tried some of the freshly roasted hojicha, and also some mitarashi dango. there's some skewered fish that looked good but i didn't try because i was scared of the bones 😅 and other kinda matsuri-like foods such as kakigori and yakisoba, a bit higher priced i guess because of the tourists there but i'm not a fan of yakisoba so 😆

also there was an asian food festival going on near shinobazu pond! i didn't try the food (it seemed largely SEAsian food, we can get cheaper thai, viet food etc in singapore anyway), but also for some reason there is a food truck for US food? and the representative food is 'american long potato' 😂 is that a thing in US? (ok but i know US is huge)

i met up with a friend for lunch at akiba and they recommended ootoya! a restaurant chain for teishoku. i got the recommended fried fish and veg in sweet vinegar sauce and 🥺 the taste mix is so good! i also wanted to randomly bring up something i'll miss about japan: pretty much every eatery, whether cafe or restaurant, serves free water, or even green tea! you rarely get free water in singapore eateries even though we have friggin drinkable tap water here 🙄 (except in japanese chains like saizeriya or sukiya..lol) you'll have to buy overpriced bottled mineral water or something even if you just want water to go with your meal.

Ootoya 大戸屋 (chain store, multiple outlets)

after some walking around akiba (i.e. combing weeb stores), we stopped for some thick fluffy toast and drink (mine was cinnamon toast and almond cafe latte) at vault coffee. true it was a sunday, but we were surprised that it was some random cafe hidden in third floor of what looked otherwise like a normal commercial building on the outside, and it was still soo crowded, we had to wait a little while to be seated!

VAULT COFFEE 101-0021 Tokyo, Chiyoda City, Sotokanda, 4 Chome−5−1 3F

and this marks the end of our week-long food journey in japan 😆 i had to save a lot of funds for my splurging on weeb and stationery stuff LOL, but i hope the next time i come i can focus more on sightseeing and food maybe! but for now it's back to capitalism to save up first 🏃

[baby-yongbok]

˳·˖✶ ⋆Midnights: Pt.1˳·˖✶ ⋆

Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Non idol

✨Masterlist ✨

Warnings: Mentions of the pandemic (COVID-19)

Notes: Third Person POV + Okay, so, When I started writing this I intended for it to be a sweet drabble but then I just kept typing and typing and TYPING... I think that this has potential to be a series. There will definitely be a part 2 but I'm not sure if it should just be two parts or more. Let me know what you think please? This was also written pretty fast so I'm sorry if the quality isn't the best, but then again I say that about everything I write. Anyway, I hope that you enjoy!

Word Count: 1366

Summary: The two of you are best friends, You know each other like the back of your hand, so why does this new version of Hyunjin give you a feeling you've never experienced before? His smile is all the same but somethings changed... What could it be?

You and Hyunjin have been best friends since you learned how to walk. You’ve done everything together for as long as you can remember and the fact that the two of you are next door neighbors made it even easier to spend an insane amount of time together. Around the time that you turned sixteen and he turned seventeen the two of you decided that spending eight hours of your day together wasn’t enough so naturally he started sneaking into your window late at night to hang out with you. The two of you would play games, watch movies, and anything else that your heart desired all while trying to stay as quiet as possible. Even though your entire family loved Hyunjin, you knew that having a boy in your room at 1:45am would not go over well with your parents. He’d sneak in for any reason and at any time. He got into a fight with his parents? He’ll be at your window at two in the morning. You’re feeling sick? He’ll be at your window with snacks and anything else he grabbed at the store to make you smile. 

Unfortunately, your late night hang outs came to an end when the two of you went off to college. Well, when he went off to college. Hyunjin made the decision to stay on campus but you weren’t sure that you were ready for the responsibility of basically living alone. Hyunjin begged you to stay on campus, promising that he’d take care of you and keep you on track but you just weren’t sure. Fast forward a month after that conversation when the two of you found out that you both got accepted… to different colleges. It took a lot for the two of you to say goodbye but you knew Hyunjin would only be a phone call away. 

Months went by and your nights were silent. There was no dark haired boy climbing up the tree next to your balcony and knocking on your window anymore. No more late night movies or whispering the lyrics to karaoke at three in the morning. The two of you kept in contact with video calls and texts but you both ended up being way more involved in college activities than you thought you would be thus leaving very little room for meeting up or even texting back some days. As your lives got busier the two of you slowly drifted apart, that was until the pandemic hit. Suddenly your extremely active world was quiet again, all of your classes were now either canceled or strictly online. Hyunjin had no choice but to move back home since his dormitory was closing down to enforce social distancing. It all felt like a mess but there was a silver lining to it all, Hyunjin was coming back home and the two of you would finally see each other after nearly five months of being apart, now all you had to do was wait.

 It was a regular Thursday evening, you sat on your front porch listening to music and laying on your bench swing with your dog, Miffy. The smooth voice of the artist you were listening to was suddenly drowned out by Miffy barking and running off of the porch. You sat up, startled by the sudden noise and immediately started searching for the cause of the commotion. That’s when your eyes landed on him, his hair was a bright red which stuck out from his black muscle tee and black sweats. You went over to your front steps and watched him for some time as he pulled his suitcase out of the trunk of his fathers car. ‘There’s no way that that’s Hyunjin right?’ Your thoughts were racing as you tried to remember what he looked like five months ago but your memory sadly failed you. Just as your eyes fix on the muscle of his toned arm he turns towards your house. His gaze is cast upwards towards your balcony, he’s clearly trying to see if you’re home. Your heart skips a beat as it all sinks in, that is Hyunjin. Just as you’re about to scream his name to get his attention Miffy reaches him and jumps up on him earning a smile and a happy laugh to fall from his lips. 

“Miffy! How are ya girl?” He wildly pets the dog like he hasn’t seen her in years but in his defense it’s felt like forever since he’s seen you and your family. Finally, he puts two and two together and looks up towards your front porch where you stood with your dress blowing in the autumn wind and a bright smile on your face. “Y/n!”

Hyunjin runs over to you immediately with Miffy following close behind. You rush down your front stairs with your arms out in front of you ready to hug your best friend. His arms snake around your waist quickly like you’d disappear if he were a second slower, yours find a home around his neck and he spins you around earning a giggle from you. “Oh my gosh, I’ve missed you, angel”

“I’ve missed you more.” He sets you down and pulls you closer to his body. His chin rests on the top of your head and your cheek rests comfortably on his chest. You don’t know what it is, call it your best friend spidey senses but he feels different than he did five months ago…what’s changed? You both pull back and look at each other, smiling like your lives depend on it. You lift your hand and tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. “You’re…red” 

He laughs at your comment and looks away from you for a second. “Do you mean my hair or my face?”

“Your hair… well actually, both.” You both fall into a fit of laughter before stopping and staring at each other again.

“I dyed it a month ago, I thought I sent you a picture.” Shaking your head Hyunjin’s smile slowly turns into a frown. “I’m sorry I haven’t kept up with talking to you… It was just so busy on campus and I joined way too many clubs and -” 

You bring your hand up to stop him with a smile still pulling at your lips. “It’s fine, I sucked at communicating too, what’s important is that you’re here now.”

The guilt he felt for not contacting you melted into a reassured smile. “There’s so much I want to tell you, angel, but I think I have to go.” 

He looked over to his house where his father was waiting by the car with his arms crossed. You furrowed your eyebrows with worried eyes and Hyunjin bit his lip slightly. - Fuck why was that hot? - He leans down to your ear and whispers.

“My parents aren’t too thrilled about the red hair, I think I’m in trouble.” You giggle and he does the same. “I figured that once I turned nineteen that I had a bit more freedom but that clearly isn’t the case.” 

He rolled his eyes and you sighed. “You know how your mom is, I say that you did this on purpose.” He sticks his tongue into his cheek slightly and smiles.

“You’re not wrong… but listen, I don’t want to make my case any worse so I’ll see you later?” You glance down at his wrist knowing for sure that he has a watch on him. 

“Hyun, it’s already seven o’clock. You’re gonna get scolded for about an hour and everything is closed due to the pandemic so we can’t go anywhere.” Just as Hyunjin was going to reply, his father called him to come home. With a sigh he starts walking backwards away from you.

“Leave your window open, yeah?” With a wink he turns and runs off towards his house. He gives you one last glance and smiles before he disappears through his front door leaving you in your walk way. For some reason you felt nervous about Hyunjin coming to your house tonight. Sure it would be just like old times but something has changed… What in the world was causing this feeling?

[clownprincehoeshi]

Parallel Hearts - Chapter 1

Synopsis: Never in your wildest dreams you imagined that you’ll meet your ult bias. Maybe you finally have your shot at love and happiness. Or not.

Genre: Fluff, Smut, Angst

Pairing: fem reader x idol Jungkook fem reader x idol Mingyu fem reader x idol Hoshi

Warnings: Kissing-Nudity-Sex 18+-Harrassment-Stalking-Death mentions-Cheating

Word count: 4620

This is my first time writing, I hope there are no big mistakes in the text, I am also not a native english speaker. This is chapter 1 from a series of chapters that will be about more idols. The story starts sometime in 2022. Enjoy!

Next chapter

Masterlist

Why does it have to rain today of all days? Is this how this city is welcoming me? Am I not wanted here? Well, you’re stuck with me now, city! I’m not going back to my shitty town and my shitty life. This is a new beginning. Y/N said, as she stacks some boxes on the floor of her new home in Seoul.

She moved here today, after she was offered a new job at an advertising company. She thought she needs a big change in her life. It’s not like her life in her country back in Europe was interesting. Yeah, she had a couple of really good friends there, and her sister, but that was it. She’s not interested in dating or having a man, she’d rather spend her free time on her hobbies and on herself.

One of her hobbies being kpop. She got into it when covid struck and she had to spend her time inside. Weeks and weeks of working from home and spending her entire free time at home, so she needed to find new ways to entertain herself. That’s how kpop came into her life. It was also a period in her life when she felt lonely, because she just ended a 2 year relationship. She put a lot into it, and let’s say she was more than disappointed when the guy told her out of nowhere that their relationship isn’t going anywhere. But that’s life, and she had to move on.

Now, this is like a new start for her, but she will focus on work and making herself happy. Starting a new life in a new country isn’t easy, but her luck is starting to change when she meets her new coworkers. Most of them are Korean, but there are also some foreigners that immediately try to talk to her and get to know her. She’s not a very open and social person, so it’s hard for her to open up and be all friendly with strangers. But Hana from work notices this about Y/N so she will make it her mission to befriend Y/N and make her feel at home. Hana knows how it must feel, she’s been in her shows when she moved to Seoul from Busan.

Hana: I think me and Y/N will be good friends, she seems genuine, so I’m going to invite her to have lunch with me today.

Maddy: Go ahead. I think she seems pretty arrogant to me.

Hana: Stop judging before you actually talk to the person, geez.

Maddy: Whatever, you do you.

So here you are, having lunch with this girl with bright brown eyes, named Hana who just seems so nice. It makes you want to be friendly and nice back. But you’re curious as why is she being like this with you, so you ask.

Y/N: Soooo… I don’t want you to think I am being rude or anything, but I am curious about why you approached me.

Hana: Well, I also moved from a different city like 2 years ago, and I know things must feel weird for you now.

Y/N: Yeah, it does feel weird. And I am not the most social person. I am a little concerned about how people will see me and if I will make any friends here.

Hana: Oh, don’t worry. I’ll be here, we can be friends. Deal?

Y/N: Deal.

Hana: Stick around me and you’ll end up with a lot of friends. You could say I’m pretty popular.

Then she winks cutely at you, smiling.

In these weeks that you have grown to know Hana, you have learned that she’s is indeed popular, she’s sweet, kind, had a ton of friends and acquaintances. She’s so cool, you think to yourself. Also, thank god she’s into stuff that you too like, for instance kpop. You haven’t met that many people that are into it. Strange, you think.

It’s Friday evening and a text from Hana pops up on your phone screen.

Hana banana: Y/N, I think it’s time

Y/N: Time for what, silly?

Hana banana: For you to meet some of my friends

Y/N: But I met your friends?

Hana banana: Naah, these are other friends that I haven’t told you about

Y/N: Ok?

Hana banana: But I needed to be sure about you

Y/N: What you mean?

Y/N: Hana?

Y/N: Hana banana?

But she didn’t reply that night. She called you the next day, saying she wants to come over to talk about her friends. Was she hung over from last night? How much did she have to drink? Was she drunk now? Did she drink first thing in the morning? What’s with the mystery? You scratched your head as you loaded the washing machine. You’re waken from your thoughts by the doorbell. Hana must be here. You open the door and she’s storming inside, with a big grin on her face.

Hana: Ok, here you are

Y/N: Yeah, I should be here, it’s my house. Are you drunk? Where did you disappear last night?

Hana: I was with my friends and I told them about you, so they got curious and told me to bring you next time I meet them.

Y/N: And are they like spies or something? What’s with the mystery? Are they aliens?

Hana: I was thinking to prank you and just not tell you who they were and see your face when you meet them, but it would not be fair. But you need to look your best if you’ll meet them

Y/N: It’s not like I look like shit when we go out

Hana: Y/N, come on. Sometimes you dress like a homeless person

Y/N: That’s how I like it?

Hana: Nooo, you need to look your best for this one

Y/N: I think the fuck not. Not dressing up for no man

Hana: It’s Jungkook. You’re going to meet Jungkook, bitch. He’s one of my friends. And all the 97 line.  Jaehyun is my cousin and sometimes he invites me to their dinners and hangouts with the other guys

Now… in your head there were conflicting thoughts. First thought was that this was a lie, there is no way in hell that the universe was so kind to you after all the shit you’re been trough in your life. She must be saying this to prank you, But what a stupid prank this is. Nobody should play games with you when it comes to your ult bias, JK. What is she thinking?

Y/N: You trying to die today?

You’re starting to get all red, you can feel it. You’re starting to get hot and angry. Angry at her for being such a pain in the ass. She knows you don’t like this type of shit, why is she doing this?

Hana: I am not lying!!! Look

As she takes her phone out her bag, she starts to show you photos and videos of her with the guys. Them, eating, drinking, taking night strolls, car rides, laughing, having fun

Remember that first thought? Scratch that. Those other thoughts? Irrelevant. Now you’re only thought was that one tik tok where Sponge Bob was putting on a maid outfit.

You grab Hana’s hands, look her in the eye and quiet sets between you two. You stay like that for a few moments. Then tears are forming in your eyes and they start to roll down your cheeks that are not a dark shade of pink, because you got angry before you got excited. You cry. You ugly cry.

Hana: What the fuck? Why you crying?

Y/N: What am I going to weaaaaaar?

What you’re going to wear. That was your fucking concern. Really? Well, duh!!! It’s Jungkook. He’ll see you. You. Why and how you’ve gotten so lucky, you don’t know. And the rest of the day you’re a ball of nerves, because you will see him tomorrow.

You can barely sleep that night. As usual, you spend your late hours in bed, watching Run BTS and Jungkook reels until you fall asleep. At 6 AM. You think you’re crazy and you will look like shit tomorrow. This is not the time to say I don’t give a shit how I look, I’m not going to look perfect for any man. But he’s not just any man, is he? No no. He’s the perfect man, you’re ideal man. How is he not everyone’s ideal man?

The next day you make sure to eat properly, to take extra care of your hair and skin, because you only got 4 hours of sleep last night. Thanks, Instagram for making reels a thing.

It’s 5 PM and Hana will be here any minute to pick you up. You’re feeling like shit. You feel like throwing up or shitting your pants, you don’t know which. You call you bff who’s back in your hometown. You’’re sure she’s awake, she’s a night person like you.

Y/N: Wifey, what am I going to do? What if I do something stupid in front of him? Should I just not open my mouth at all?

Bff: What? No, wtf! I mean, I know you’ll be weird and all, but just relax. Just be yourself, maybe try not to look like you trying to kill people, you know.

Y/N: Great talk!

Hana texts you she is downstairs. You grab your bag, check yourself in the mirror and leave your apartment. When you get into Hana’s car she starts whistling

Hana: Yooo, you looking for a girlfriend? I’m single.

You slap her shoulders and start blushing. But you know you’re mostly blushing because you know who you’re going to meet. But what if he’s not going to come? What if something happens and he can’t come? Shit! I wanna put my head into sand right now.

You arrive at the place you’re going to have dinner and drinks. You’re not much of a drinker, never been. In fact, you hate pretty much any taste of alcohol. It’s just not for you and your sensitive tasting buds. And you never try to drink just to please the people around you. No, you don’t care about that. So you won’t drink tonight either, unless they have something sweet. You like sweet alcohol, it’s tasty.

Hana walks in front of you, arriving to a private room and opens the door. You hear voices inside and your stomach shrinks into a little grain of sand. Oh god, I’m going to die!

She greets the people inside, everyone sounding friendly and nice, but then she moves. You were trying to hide behind her, but you’re been revealed now. You bow, greeting everyone. You’re so shy that you can’t even look them in the eye. At least not for more than 0,00001 seconds. You could be an octopus with how fast you feel your face changes color from normal to red. But you love octopuses, you find them cute. Your mind flies to octopuses when you’re meeting Jungkook. WTF. Focus!

Jungkook’s POV

You’re already at your second drink and you feel just a tiny tipsy. You hear the door opening and there is Hana. Oh, this means her new friends must be with her. But you can’t see the friend. You were about to ask about her, but then Hana moved from the way and there she was. Was she hiding behind Hana? That’s hilarious. She must be nervous, cute.

But when you see her, it’s like everything slows down. Like in those movies when the main character appears, looking all cool, and everyone is starring. This is how it felt. How can anyone be this attractive? Have I been drinking too much? I just had one glass, the hell. First thing you notice it’s her hair, because she was kind of looking down at first, then she bowed and her long, golden hair moved towards her face like the softest silk. You notice her big bright eyes, the way they avoided yours and that shy smile. She had a beautiful smile. She was wearing a cute short dress, revealing her shoulders and legs. Well, wow is all that you could say. Good thing nobody heard you. You hope.

Y/N’s POV

Hana points you to sit between her and Jaehyun. There is another girl there, and you find out it’s Eunwoo’s girlfriend. Wow, it must be crazy hard for them to hide their relationship from the public. I don’t really envy that, though. I wonder if Jungkook has a girl too. Jaehyun hands you the menu and tells you to pick whatever you like and he’ll order for you. What a gentleman, you think.

Y/N: Oh oh, beer and sprite.

Jaehyun: Interesting combo, never tried it.

Jungkook: Never to late to try new things.

He says that, while sipping from his glass, looking at you with hooded eyes.

Shit! Why are you doing that, Jungkook? I am weak! Stop with those eyes!!

You’re so happy when you mix your beer and sprite in your little glass and take a sip. The day got better and you feel like you can do this. Whenever you have your favorite stuff around, you feel more like home and it gives you confidence. Like your favorite drink, or food you like, or a song you love, or a doggo.

You’re pretty quiet, but that’s just you. You’re a die hard introvert and you take time to feel comfortable around new people. You’re happy thought that nobody says annoying stuff like “oh, you’re so quiet”, “You don’t talk?” and other shit strangers say to you when they first meet you. It annoys you to the Moon and back that some people are so unaware that not everyone is like them, extroverted, outgoing, super social, loud.

Sometimes, when you’re in a mood to put those types of people in their place, you fight back with “why are you so loud? Why do you talk so much?”. They get pissy, but you don’t care. You like your little bubble and you let only your people inside, the ones that care to understand.

You’ve had already 2 glasses of beer-sprite and a glass of strawberry soju. It’s sweet, you like this one. You feel a little social by this point, but still super shy to look at Jungkook. And what’s worse is that he’s just across the table, right in front of you. You need to look left or right to avoid his eyes. You only look his way when you’re sure he’s doing something and has his head turned away from you. But the alcohol is fucking with your eyes, so at some point and you think about admiring him a little more and you look. You look straight into his big eyes, because guess what. He was already looking at you. Good thing you’re sitting, because your knees become jelly. You do the unthinkable and for once in your life you don’t move your eyes. You keep them on him. And he keeps his eyes on you. What’s going on? Why is he looking at me? What do I do? Do I have something on my face? On god no, I must have something on my face, shit.

You must feel brave today, because you ask him:

Y/N: What’s wrong, do I have something on my face?

But you’re dead serious and while touching your face. He giggles

Jungkook: No no, you’re good. Sorry, I think I was starring too hard.

He takes another sip of his drink, while saying “cute” in a low voice, but you heard it and it made you blush. You felt like a big ball of lava right now. The Jungkook thinks you’re cute. The universe must be joking right now, making fun of you. Is this a dream? Have I hit my head one day and I’ve been in this dream since? When did your life become this? You were never a lucky person and it feels weird.

You observe Mingyu in the corner of your eye, kind of like trying to start a conversation with you. You don’t know much about him, you just know he’s Jungkook’s friend and he’s also in a band, but that’s about it. He starts to fiddle in his seat, you feel his eyes on you.

Hana: What’s with you, Mingyu? You seem a little agitated.

Mingyu: Oh, nothing. Just trying to hop into the conversation you’re having with your friend. I’ve heard something about going to a concert next week?

Hana: Yeah, I want to introduce Y/N to the kpop concert life, she hasn’t been to any so far and I think that’s wack.

Mingyu: You really must go, you’ll love it. What show you’re going to?

Hana: Ateez, we love them. You know I have a thing for Mingi.

You push her shoulder a little, knowing what she’s thinking right now, because you know your friend has a dirty mind.

Y/N: Girl, behave, not in front of my beer.

Mingyu: Oh, so who’s your Ateez bias then, Y/N?

Y/N: Yeosang. You answer shily.

Mingyu: Really now. And why is he your bias?

You feel Jungkook’s eyes on you and a rush of heat runs through your body.

Y/N: Well, I like his personality. He’s introverted and shy, has a great sense of humor, and he’s hot but at the same time really cute and adorable.

Mingyu nods like he’s in agreement, and then he’s asking the craziest question.

Mingyu: Who’s your bias in BTS?

You choke and you feel like you don’t know what words are. What’s speaking?

Y/N: I won’t tell you, since Jungkook is here. It feels weird

Mingyu: Oh, come oooon! Pleaaase?

Jungkook: Dude, it doesn’t matter. She’s right. I am here. Maybe you’ll find out another time when I’m not here.

Ugh, your savior. How can he be more perfect? He saved you when you were feeling awkward.

Mingyu: Damn, was just trying to make the night more interesting. Sorry, guys.

He says with a pout, the others teasing him. He seems like a big puppy. He’s so tall but so tiny at the same time.

The food is here. You let them order whatever they wanted, you had no idea what to choose. You just knew you don’t anything too spicy or weird. You can’t wait to eat, because you feel fucking hungry. You’re not something to shy away from eating, and even eating a lot. So you start with some soup, then some steak and all kind of grilled stuff. You just love Korean food, so tasty and filled with different flavors. You wish your best friend was here with you. You think to yourself that this is the happiest you’ve ever been. Eating delicious food and being in the same room with your ult bias. What could be better than this?

Well it could be better than this, but that’s another story, something you fantasize about when you’re alone.

Jungkook and Mingyu, seeing as you enjoy the food, the offer to help you with the meat. They put it on the grill and cook it for you, then put it on your plate.

Hana: Wow, guys, you’ve never done that for me. What’s this, now? Acting nice for the new girl?

Mingyu: She has been nice to us, you’re mean.

Jungkook starts to laugh, because he knows Hana always teases and bullies Mingyu. They all tease him and they do it because he never gets upset, he’s just that nice and soft for his friends and everyone loves him for that.

Mingyu, being the extroverted guy that he is, tries to find out more about you, so he goes crazy with the questions. He’s also had a few glasses, so you answer all his curiosities.

Mingyu: So, Y/N, tell me.

Y/N: Yes, Mingyu?

A pinch of pink appears on his cheeks, hearing his name on your lips, sounding so pretty.

Mingyu: Well, how did you end up in Seoul, why this city?

Y/N: Umm, long story, but to make it short, I have been a fan of Korean cinema, then started watching dramas too, then I thought I want to learn the language because it sounded so interesting. I already knew English pretty well, Spanish, and a little of French and german, so I wanted something different. Then stuff happened in my personal life and I needed a big change, so my boos from back home told me about this job opportunity in Seoul, since she knew I spoke the language already. I didn’t think about it, I just booked a flight and here I am.

Jungkook: Your Korean is really good, though and you know so many other languages, wow. You’re really smart.

Y/N: Oh, thank you.

Now you feel yourself blushing again, but what’s new.

Mingyu: Do you have a boyfriend?

You almost choked on your food. This man.

Hana: You have no shame today, Gyu.

Mingyu: Hey, we’re just getting to know each other here, we’re practically friends now. Right, Y/N?

Y/N: Umm, I guess?

Jungkook: So?

You look at Jungkook, trying to figure out what he’s trying to say. But all he does is lay back on his seat and manspread, with a grin on his face. You feel like going crazy. He knows what he’s doing. Does he know he’s my bias? Could he? Maybe he reads minds. Oh, I hope not!!!

Y/N: What?

Jungkook: Do you have a boyfriend?

Y/N: Oh!! I don’t, no.

Mingyu: Why not? If that’s not too much to ask.

Hana: Oh, this is going to be good.

She knows your life story and your history with guys and relationships, so she knows you have a lot to say about this.

Y/N: You really want to know? I can give a formal short answer or a genuine longer answer. Which one is it?

Jungkook: Long answer.

The whole room is now looking at you, curious about what you have to say. People are always curious about this type of stuff. You are too, you have to admit. And not in the Oh, I like gossip type of way, but you like to hear about other people’s love stories and why they didn’t work out.

Y/N: I don’t trust men. I used to. Big mistake, because whenever I put my trust in one, I would get disappointed again. My last relationship was a disaster. I felt used, like he came into my life, promised the world, then after he got what he needed, he left. I invested so much time, energy, feelings into it and all I got was emptiness. I tried dating a few times after that, but everything felt so shallow. Nobody with real good intentions. Everyone felt so fake, so I stopped everything. Why waste my time on people that don’t care about me? No. And you know what? Unless some guy shows up, really doing everything to show me he’s a real person with real feelings and not some stupid cardboard box, then I might consider giving him a chance. I’m just happier alone.

Hana: Mingyu wouldn’t know about that, he’s got a new girl every other month.

Everyone starts to giggle and you’re surprised but not really, because he’s a really attractive guy. And he seems to have it all.

Mingyu: Wow, you say such nice things about me, Hana. You’re just the best.

You laugh, you find him funny and charismatic. No wonder he’s getting so many girls.

Jungkook: Guys, come on, leave my man alone. He’s not that slutty. He’s just overly friendly and excited so he can give the wrong impression.

Mingyu gives a proud smile, hearing his bestie taking his side. Finally, someone takes his side, he thinks.

Y/N: But what about you guys, how hard is it to have a romantic life in your situation?

Mingyu pouts, Jungkook tilts his head and looks like he’s thinking, Jaehyun shrugs.

Eunwoo: In my case, all I can say is that it’s really difficult. You put your career on the line, but when you meet someone you really like, you can’t just ignore the feelings. You can’t live just for your work, you’re not a machine.

Mingyu: It fucking sucks, I barely have time for a romantic life. Things are getting really intense at work lately and I need to be there for me and for my members.

You look at Jungkook, who’s taking a soju shot, waiting for him to give a response too. You really want to know, it burns you to know.

He realizes you are waiting for him to say something, so he tries to change the subject.

Jungkook: Let’s do shots before we end this night?

And the hands you a glass of shot, you drink it, looking at him. He’s avoiding your eyes for the rest of the night and it’s not long until you all need to leave. The restaurant is closing, it’s past midnight and tomorrow it’s a work day. Shit, you have so much work to do tomorrow and here you are, a little drunk., wondering why Jungkook didn’t answer your question and why he didn’t look at you the rest of the time.

You all give your goodbyes and the guys are telling you how glad they are to have met you and that they will see you next time. You feel Jungkook’s eyes burning into your skull, and when you turn to him you catch him starring so you give him a little smile with a “goodnight”. He bows and smiles then turns and walks with Mingyu to the direction where a car is waiting for them.

You felt sadness. Sadness because this night was over, because you thought that you were weird and they didn’t like you. Shit, you met your bias of biases and you’re glad you didn’t shit yourself when he looked in your direction. You felt a little proud of yourself for not acting like a crazy fan. You always thought that if you met any of your favorite artists, you would just be quiet and act normal, trying to not make them feel uncomfortable. That’s what everyone should do, right?

You’re also trying really hard not to be too delulu right now, after meeting him. You can’t wait to tell your bestie about it, too bad she’s sleeping at this hour, must be really early in the morning there. Oh well, I’ll just take a shower and go to sleep. Who knows, maybe the universe is starting to like me and I will see him again.

Next morning you wake up all sweaty and worked up. You had a sex dream about Jungkook. Damn, it felt so real, wtf. Stupid brain, let me function today! You arrive at the office and you find Hana waiting at your desk, two cups of hot cocoa. She known you hate coffee, and what else could you drink on a cold march morning?

Hana: I figured you’ll be a little hungover, we had a lot to drink. Well, me. You were lightweight.

Y/N: Ugh, you’re a life saver. Thanks for the cocoa, I love it.

Hana: So what did you think?

Y/N: About last night?

Hana: Duh! Did you feel weird or it was fun? Want me to get a signed photocard from JK?

Y/N: Nooo, I would feel so embarrassed. But I really enjoyed it. They seem like normal people, though Jungkook is a little reserved. So mysterious, no?

Hana: Hm, maybe because you were there. He was a little more quiet last night though, but so were you. I could see you two being a couple.

Y/N: Omg, stop! I’m not that delulu, girl.

Hana: You never know.

[super-unpredictable98]

The Eighth Child (~TUA AU~) - Season 4

Chapter 1: Your Dreams Came True, Now What?

Warning: Strong language, guns

a/n: Hello everyone! I really missed The Eighth Child and I hope you all have as well. We can all agree this season was pure bullshit, so here I am with a very short series of chapters to fix it. Welcome to the final show, hope you all like it <3 also thank you so much @jozstankovich for supporting me and being my guinea pig beta reader

(The Eighth Child Masterlist)

"Of course we're coming, Dieguito!" Victoria said on the phone while trying to tame Fortune's big curly mane. "Tunnie is very excited to play with Gracie and the twins. Alright, see you later!"

"Lunch is ready," Klaus called from the kitchen. He wore a frilly apron on top of his completely normal and absolutely not flamboyant outfit. "No no no! Fortune, don't run, we don't wanna get hurt, right?"

"Right, a safe girl is a happy girl!" She repeated what her father always said.

Something about the pandemic mixed with Fortune growing into her own person, realizing Victoria was no longer indestructible, and Klaus staying fully sober, made him into a complete nut job. He was scared of absolutely anything and everything that could harm him and his family. The idea of dying and not being there to raise his kids was too much for him to even think about.

"You too, Liebling, you're in no condition to run," he caressed her baby bump.

Victoria and Klaus started off their married life as happy as can be, but the real world was right ahead and with his new sobriety and paranoia, it became harder and harder for her to... how should one put it... feel attracted to him.

Klaus was a completely changed man, his wife didn't necessarily like that. But alas, every once in a while, they still had some romance and of course she got pregnant by chance one of those times.

"I'm not sick, Klausie. Don't you remember when I was pregnant with Fortune and we would party all night in the clubs near campus? I was fine and so is she."

"I know, I know, but we were totally irresponsible! The world was different too, no COVID for starters..." He shivered before taking a bite of his risotto.

Victoria sighed, looking at the several cardboard boxes surrounding them. Right after marrying, she used her saved money to rent the apartment she used to rent back in her college days with Klaus, she loved that place and it was special to begin their new lives there.

After about a year, she made enough money with her bakery for a downpayment on the apartment. But now with their second child on the way, it wasn't viable to live in such a tiny place, even though it hurt to let it go.

"Something wrong, Mommy?" Fortune asked, seeing her mother's face. Sadness, conformity, longing, and a little disgust in her eyes.

"No, baby, I'm okay," Victoria sighed, but her husband also noticed that look. It had started about two and a half years ago when he was really focused on his sobriety journey, she seemed to simply lose interest in the person he was becoming.

Every morning, he woke up afraid she'd be gone. Every day when she left for work, he was scared she'd meet someone more exciting that would fill that void he unwillingly left behind. He was terrified she'd leave him like she did back when they were younger.

"Hey, Schatzi, since Fortune is having that sleepover with Gracie tonight, we should do something special," Klaus suggested.

"Like what?" She gave him that vacant look like she was dead inside.

"Romantic dinner, watching a movie, some... special cuddles," he winked.

"Sure," she sighed. Something horribly dangerous happens when your dreams come true... You're stuck with them.

**

"Die Hard!" Diego opened the door to Brigaderia Oito, Victoria's bakery. "How's it going? How's Klus?"

"It's alright, he's... sober," she mumbled. "Ah Dieguito, married life isn't what I signed up for."

"Trouble in paradise, huh? It's tough, marriage is hard work. I feel like everything I do is meaningless, but in the end, we're with the people we love, and we have amazing kids. We built something good."

"I guess so," she nodded, giving him his usual carrot cake with gooey brigadeiro on top. "I just wish Klaus would go back to being... Klaus. Not the drugs you know, but the wild nature, it's like he's broken. We barely ever have sex anymore."

"Ew! I don't wanna hear about that!" Diego pretended to gag. "My two siblings having sex? Barf!"

She rolled her eyes and placed her hand on her belly before turning to get Grace's birthday cake. She baked it and decorated it herself with cute jungle animals.

"Oh, it looks amazing!" He gasped. "How much do I owe you?"

"Nothing, it's part of her present. Only the best for my goddaughter."

"Thank you so much, Vicky," he smiled, giving her a hug over the counter and giving her belly a pat. "Already know if it's a girl or a boy?"

"Not yet, we'll get to know on the next ultrasound."

"Hope it's a boy this time, my little man needs more friends, he's drowning in estrogen."

She huffed and gave him a playful shove. "Keep the cake in the fridge."

"Thanks a million, Vicky! I'll see you later."

"See you later," she turned to pick up the phone. "Hello, Brigadeiria Oito, how can I help you?"

"It's me, Schnucki!" Klaus said into the phone. "I just picked up Fortune from school, she choked on the pulp of her orange juice."

"What? Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's okay now, she just had a little coughing fit and was back to normal... it's just, that she got scared and wanted to come back home."

"Klaus! I can't believe you pulled our daughter out of school because she lightly choked on juice! You're gonna ruin her with all this coddling!"

"She was scared!"

"Because she sees you scared all the damn time!"

"We can talk about this later after the party. She's here now and listening."

"Why did you put me on speaker?"

"Holding a cell phone close to your ear isn't good because the temperature-"

"JESUS CHRIST! SHUT UP!" She shouted and only then she noticed there was a client waiting for her. "Just a second, I'll be with you in no time..."

"Why are you like this? Pregnancy hormones driving you crazy?" He asked.

"No, Klaus, you are! Talk to you later, I have to work... someone has to work in this household!"

**

"Why is Mama mad at you?" Fortune asked as she rode in the back of Allison's car with Claire and her father to the party venue.

"Mama is nervous because she's pregnant, that makes mommies a little angry sometimes," Klaus said, adjusting her seat belt for the millionth time.

"She said it wasn't because of the baby."

"Alright... you know, sometimes daddies and mommies fight, my Tunnie baby, but that doesn't mean it's forever and it doesn't mean something bad is gonna happen."

"What if you two split?" The little girl frowned.

"That's not happening, your parents have been attached at the hip since they were toddlers," Allison chuckled. "It was kinda disgusting."

"If you're Aunt Vicky's sister and Uncle Klaus' sister... does that mean they're siblings too?" Claire asked.

"That's a very long very lovely story for when you're a little bit older, Claire-bear" Klaus said before turning back to his daughter. "My little princess, don't worry about mommy, okay? I'm always here for you, and she'll always be here for you too, we love you more than the entire universe. It's just that things changed a little, but nothing that cannot be fixed."

"Hey, guys!" Victoria waved at them once they parked, she was bringing four boxes of party sweets, Brazilian style of course... beijinho, brigadeiro, bicho de pé, ninho e nutella, casadinho.

"Hey! Hey! Don't go around carrying that! You're in no condition!" Klaus took his car helmet off and rushed to help her with the boxes.

"Relax, she's pregnant, not dead," Lila came right behind with the huge bottles of soda.

"Leave it to me," he insisted.

Once they were inside, Grace and the twins came running to meet Claire and Fortune. Victoria hugged her nieces and nephew, as did Klaus before Diego gave them a look and pointed with his eyes to the doll house which was secluded and empty.

"We need to talk," she mumbled.

"Yeah... don't take your eyes off Fortune, Claire," Klaus asked. "Don't let her eat or drink anything with red 40 or 4-MEI!"

"You say as if we didn't sneak out at least three times a week to stuff our faces with doughnuts at Griddy's..." Victoria sighed as she pulled him to the doll house.

"We had superpowers and it was a different time, we were young and dumb."

"We enjoyed life," she sat down on a tiny pink chair. "We don't need to feed our child crack, but if she drank a little coke once in a while, she'll be fine!"

"What happened to us?" He looked up with puppy eyes. "We haven't fucked since we conceived this baby, you look at me like I'm a pile of cow shit, you turn your face when I go to kiss you..."

"It just hurts to see what you became. This isn't the man I married. You need therapy."

"This again? No therapy! I don't need it and we probably can't afford it."

"You're going insane!"

"Give me a chance, okay? I promise I'll make it right tonight when we get home."

She nodded, wanting more than anything to believe him. "Alright, let's see about tonight."

When the couple left the doll house, the entire family was already there, well almost the entire family.

"Oh give me a break... fake Ben is here? Who invited him?" Victoria huffed, she never really accepted Sparrow Ben as a part of the family, because he wasn't. She was even a little happy when he was arrested, meaning he'd stay away.

"Believe me, I didn't wanna be here either," he rolled his eyes.

"Come on guys, no fighting!" Luther emerged from the ball pit. "It's a family night."

"Yeah, you're right, can't let him ruin it... Cincooooo!" She went to hug Five. "Look at you, all grown up! It's like every day you get bigger, come here, little CIA man!"

"I'm not a damn child, you know?" He reluctantly hugged her back. "And I'm not little!"

"Where's Viktor?" She asked.

"He said he was coming," Luther smiled.

"Victoria, can we go outside for a little bit? I'm hyperventilating, this place is so full of people and nobody's wearing a mask," Klaus whispered.

She shook her head defeated. "Just take deep breaths, honey, it's okay. Did you see fake Ben is back? Look, our brothers are here, we're still waiting for Viktor though."

"Vicky!" Diego called from a corner while holding a piñata.

She was happy to leave Klaus to calm down for a moment and join her other brother. "What's up?"

"Does this look like a West Side piñata to you? I mean, it's clearly East Side, right?"

"Um... what's the difference?"

"The fringe, the eyes, the colors! And the fact that Lila told me she'd be on the West Side today and this looks like an East Side piñata."

"Oh Dieguito... don't overthink, it's probably a misunderstanding, let's not jump to conclusions, alright?"

"Maybe you were right, you know? I work all day and it kills me, the kids suck whatever energy I have left, and the in-laws... I'm glad they're alive in this timeline, but I don't want them living in our house."

Victoria nodded, understanding the feeling, but she didn't want their marriage to end because of her own doubts.

"Hey, cariño, come on... I know I didn't like Lila when you first got together, but she really grew on me. She's a good mom and she really loves you. It's just a rough patch."

"Liebling, please... can we step out just a little bit?" Klaus approached them.

Accepting her fate, she nodded and took his hand so they could get some fresh air. But the moment she stepped out, she knew something was wrong, there was a wrapped gift on the pavement and she picked it up.

"From Uncle Viktor?" She read the card.

"Why would he leave the gift on the street and take off?" Klaus wondered.

She started looking around for clues and after some inspection, she found a note on her windshield.

"Your brother Viktor has been kidnapped. Follow my exact instructions and no harm will come to him," she read the contents of the note. "Fucking shit cunt ass motherfucker... let's get the others."

**

After leaving Lila's parents in charge of the party, the old Hargreeves clan and Lila jumped into Diego's van and they headed to the address written on the note.

"Everyone stay behind me, I got a gun," Five announced, pulling his revolver as they entered the dry cleaner corresponding to the number they were given.

"Did you bring a gun to a children's birthday party?" Klaus hissed, his face covered by a gas mask. "Can you smell this? This place is a chemical wasteland."

"Says the man who made me swim in the fucking sewer six years ago," Victoria huffed.

"It's Viktor!" Luther pointed at the short man tied up to a chair with a bag over his head.

She ran and got the bag off. "Oh hey, Vik, long time no see!"

"Hey Vic yourself..." he mumbled as she started untying him with the help of Luther.

"Who kidnapped you? Dad and his goons?" She asked.

"I doubt it, this is amateur hour," Five shook his head.

"I apologize if my methods are a little crude, but it's my first kidnapping," A man came from the back. He looked harmless enough, but he held a gun, so out of instinct, Victoria stood in front of Klaus like a shield. "Hopefully it'll be my last, but I need your help."

"Kidnapping our brother and pointing a gun at us won't buy you much goodwill," Five murmured, pointing his gun at the man.

"It was the only way I could make sure you came here, all of you. I couldn't leave anything to chance, especially when it comes to the Umbrella Academy."

"Wow, haven't heard that name in years!" Victoria scoffed.

"Sorry pal, the Umbrella Academy doesn't exist," Five said.

"Only in our hearts," she completed.

The man put the gun down and opened a box full of artifacts, pictures, newspaper articles, masks, action figures...

"Oh look! The time we saved the Eiffel Tower! Remember?" Vicky smiled. "Zombie Gustav Eiffel!" She said in a silly voice.

"Where did you get this?" Diego asked.

"It was all in this box in the back of my daughter's car. Her name is Jennifer."

"Ugh, I hate that name," Victoria groaned, she had hated this name since the incident that took her brother's life.

"I don't know where she got it, but about a year ago she met these new friends and she started going to these strange meetings. Some very strange people, call themselves The Keepers. And then over time, she stopped talking to me, I believe something terrible happened, because we were very close."

Klaus picked Dave's dog tags from the box and frowned, which made Victoria's blood boil. She was very understanding of that whole thing when it happened, but lately, she didn't need much to get angry at him.

"Put that shit back!" She snagged the chain from his hands and threw it in the box.

"Sorry, sorry..." He mumbled.

"How did you find us?" Luther asked.

"I saw you on TV, Toss N' Wash," the strange man pointed at Allison.

"Ha! See? No small parts," Klaus poked his sister's shoulder.

"I've been watching you for a while actually and I apologize. I'm so sorry! I know you'd probably kill me if you could," the man looked at Victoria. "But she's all I have left, you must know what that feels like."

"I actually do," she sighed. "But we're not the same as we were, we don't have powers anymore."

"Yeah, we're not special," Diego agreed.

"Speak for yourself, tubby," Ben whispered under his breath and earned a punch in the shoulder from Victoria.

"I might not have powers, but I can kick your ass!"

"Give us 24 hours, we'll find your daughter," Five took the box quickly.

"Yes! Thank you!" The man cried. "Thank you very much, Umbrella Academy! I think you're special!"

"Five! What are you doing?" Allison hissed, following him outside. "You know we can't help, why did you do that?"

"Because... of this," Five pulled out a jar of marigold from the box.

**

"What I wanna know is how the daughter of a dry cleaner ends up with a jar of marigold in the trunk of her car," Five wondered.

The siblings decided to grab dinner at a Japanese restaurant and discuss their theories.

"Could it be something to do with Dad?" Klaus clumsily shoved rice into his mouth with the chopsticks (because of course, raw fish was too dangerous to eat with all the contamination risks)

"No, he took away our powers, and for good reason," Victoria shook her head.

"How do we know that's not just glow stick juice?" Diego teased.

"For the sake of discussion, let's say this is legit. Does anyone here actually want their power back?" Five asked.

"No way!" Klaus yelped. "For the first time in my life, I'm sober... and happy. And most importantly 100% poltergeist free."

"You're anything but free, you don't leave the house and you wear gloves and a mask in public," Victoria pointed out.

"At least I'm in control."

"Hmm I smell divorce," Ben taunted.

"Shut the fuck up! You're not even one of us, fuck off," she grabbed the jar of marigold and held tightly to it.

"It's a hard no for me too. I have a bar, a life..." Viktor quickly said to end the discussion.

"You're all such losers, we should be mainlining this shit right now!" Ben groaned.

"Whoever wants powers back, raise your hand!" Victoria stood up. Nobody raised their hands except Ben.

"We have everything we need," Lila shrugged.

"Damn right, and as much as I hate Dad, he's extremely intelligent. He took away our powers because they were the cause of apocalypse after apocalypse after apocalypse. This way we are safe and the world is safe. Majority wins and I'm taking this cause I don't trust you, little weasel." Victoria shoved her finger in Ben's face. "Now let's go home, and stop flossing in public, Klaus, fucking disgusting. You're not making me wanna have sex with you any more by being gross."

Tag List: @salvador-daley @seanfalco

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved on our archive

By Lisa Jarvis

We’re still asking people with COVID to jump through far too many hoops to get their hands on Pfizer Inc.’s Paxlovid.

I experienced the barriers first-hand this month after my mother texted to say that this summer’s COVID wave had finally caught up with her. My first thought was to make sure she quickly started taking the antiviral. You’d think she would be an ideal candidate, because she is in her 70s with an underlying health condition. But it took a daylong effort to get her the medicine, one that involved multiple emails, phone calls with three different doctor’s offices, a telehealth visit and a bit of pharmacy-hopping to find one that had the pills in stock.

“That’s not an uncommon story,” says Amesh Adalja, a senior scholar at the Johns Hopkins Center for Health Security. “There are a lot of misconceptions out there that have undermined the use [of antivirals] from the very beginning.”

The data bear this out. One small study published in early 2024 by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that 4 out of 5 high-risk patients were not offered an antiviral by their doctors. Worse, one large, community-based study found that Black and Latino patients were far less likely to receive the drug than White patients.

It shouldn’t be that way. And the delay matters: Pfizer’s antiviral only helps if taken within the first five days of symptoms. My mom, feverish and exhausted, told me that if I hadn’t stepped in as her advocate, she would have given up.

Doctors must do better, especially as we continue to live through a wave of infections.

Some health care providers may be worried about managing the interactions between Paxlovid and other medicines (my mom, for example, had to pause her Lipitor while on the antiviral). Others have been dissuaded by reports of rebound infections occurring in people who take Paxlovid — despite evidence that the drug’s benefits outweigh those risks in the most vulnerable patients. And some doctors might be operating under perverse incentives that make it more lucrative to have a sick patient make an appointment to confirm their infection instead of simply calling the prescription into a pharmacy after an at-home test.

There’s also lingering confusion about the right candidates for the drug. Paxlovid was authorized in 2021 based on compelling data showing it could keep high-risk unvaccinated people out of the hospital. Yet some doctors don’t seem aware that vaccinated patients can also benefit from it, particularly if they are higher risk. That’s everyone over age 65, or those who are immunocompromised, pregnant or with an underlying condition. Those groups still are at risk of hospitalization and even of dying, especially if their last exposure or booster is in the distant past.

And that’s a lot of people. Only 1 out of every 3 retirement-age adults got last year’s booster. “From my experience as well as others, pretty much everybody I’ve taken care of hasn’t received a vaccine in the last year or so, even though they might have had them originally,” says Peter Chin-Hong, an infectious disease specialist at the University of California, San Francisco. Since mid-August, COVID deaths in the U.S. have been hovering near 1,000 per week, according to CDC data. Shouldn’t we better deploy the tools that might prevent such losses?

Cost shouldn’t be a barrier. When antivirals transitioned to the commercial market last year, the U.S. government partnered with Pfizer to ensure people with public health insurance or without insurance could still get the drugs for free, and minimize the cost for people with private insurance. Yet infectious disease doctors tell me that months into the rollout, too few patients, prescribers and pharmacists seem aware of the program.

True, Paxlovid isn’t perfect. In people who aren’t high-risk, the data are mixed as to whether it helps much (though anecdotes abound for people who say they have felt better faster after taking it). And while there had been much hope that Paxlovid could prevent long COVID, so far the data supporting that hypothesis are inconclusive.

So there’s a clear need for better anti-COVID drugs. Even for young, healthy people who have been jabbed and infected multiple times, an infection can be extremely disruptive, sidelining us from work or school and ruining our best-laid plans. A drug more akin to Tamiflu — a very safe and tolerable treatment for the flu that allows people to bounce back faster, even if only by a day or two — would be a welcome invention.

Yet better antivirals have been slow to arrive. Pfizer is studying a treatment that works similarly to Paxlovid, but doesn’t interact with other medications. And hopes were dashed last spring when Shionogi’s Ensitrelvir, an antiviral approved in Japan, failed to prove it could alleviate symptoms faster than a placebo.

But even if a drug for the masses eventually made it to market, would it be used? When doctors can’t get it right for the most vulnerable, the prospects seem dim.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

I must have missed the Met Gala ‘fuck off’ Anna Wintour thingy mabob regarding Meghan.

If you have time could you please expand on it? I saw it on another post and it really peaked my interest 😁

Sure! The only way the rumor makes sense is if you know "Met Gala 101" so I'll start there, then dive into the rumor. I will warn you now, the rumor ends up getting a little tinhatty because the timing is strange.

The main thing to know is that Anna Wintour has final say over everything that happens at the Met Gala, including what/who people wear. (Some people believe she personally approves every outfit, others think she just likes knowing what people are wearing so she can edit and organize the red carpet like it's a photoshoot.) As part of this, Anna also has final approval over who is invited as plus-ones to the designers.

So there are a few different ways to get on the invite list for the Met Gala:

Be the guest of a designer/fashion house who has bought a table or tickets. To get a designer +1, you usually need a personal relationship with a designer (either an ambassadorship like Kristen Stewart is for Chanel or you're besties like Sarah Jessica Parker and Alexander McQueen or Zac Posen and Katie Holmes) or you need to be a hot It celebrity of the moment like Zendaya, Taylor Swift, Barry Keoghan, Jacob Elordie.

Purchase your own ticket (they start at $50K nowadays).

Be a huge donor to the Met, either in money or time.

Work at Vogue or one of the Gala's sponsors.

Perform at the Gala (which is how the Kardashians finally got invited - Kim was Kanye's +1, who was performing).

Be the partner/friend of someone who fits into one of these categories, and hope they get a +1 and choose you.

(I also think the gala's co-hosts get a couple of tickets for free.)

That's "Met Gala 101." Now, the rumor.

Edward Enninful, who was then the editor of British Vogue, was said to have invited Meghan to the Met Gala as his +1. (He gets tickets for being a Vogue employee and Anna approved Meghan as his guest because she fell under "hot It celebrity of the moment".) Allegedly, when Anna asked to know what Meghan was going to wear, Meghan upset/offended her, and Anna rescinded her approval for Meghan to be Edward's guest and Edward dropped Meghan.

There are a few different versions about what Meghan did to Anna:

Meghan refused to tell Anna who/what she was wearing.

Anna gave suggestions to Meghan and she refused to listen.

Meghan lied/changed her mind about who she was wearing after getting Anna's OK and changed her outfit.

Supposedly this was for Met Gala 2019. Supposedly, Meghan was so pissed off that she was uninvited from the Met Gala that she had Archie on May 6th to steal the headlines/thunder from Anna in revenge.

I'm not sure how valid this one is. The timing is suspicious because no way would anyone let a due-any-day pregnant woman travel like that, especially not one who was said to be overdue. (I think Harry wrote in Spare that Archie was 2 weeks overdue.) So either it confirms surrogacy - especially when you remember that in January or February, Meghan told a wellwisher "nearly there, not long to wait" about her pregnancy - or it's completely made up. It wouldn't be the first time that someone made something up and it caught on like wildfire.

It's more plausible to me if this was about the 2018 Met Gala, which was held May 7, 2018. A quick google search showed Meghan didn't have any events or make any public appearances around that time so it's possible she could've been planning a quick popover before the wedding. It's when she would have been most in demand and most sought-after, and it would have been a real coup for Anna and Edward to get her "red carpet society debut" over British society.

It wouldn't have been Met Gala 2020, which was cancelled for COVID. Enninful didn't go to Met Gala 2021 (it overlapped with the opening of London Fashion Week and he was photographed at parties with Naomi Campbell. I documented the rumor on my spreadsheet in 2021 so any of the years after don't count.

So, that's the rumor and the backstory. It's totally up to you whether you believe it or not. If it is true, or a variation of it is true, then the Met Gala crowd and the New York elite crowd that's close to Anna would've absolutely heard about Meghan's behavior. The other thing to remember about Anna is that she also occupies British society too, so she may also be aware of what British society says about Meghan (and Harry).

I'll end this with a little bit of Met Gala gossip from last year (2023). Last year, Olivia Wilde showed up to the Met Gala in the same outfit as Margaret Zhang, Vogue China's editor (Olivia's dress was white, Margaret's was blue). This sort of snafu is exactly why Anna likes to have input in what people wear, so Olivia Wilde showing up to a red carpet in the same outfit of another guest - a Vogue editor specifically - is the worst fashion sin of them all. That she did it at the Met Gala? With the entire world watching? I mean, you might as well go crawl under the Brooklyn Bridge and accept your life as the new bridge troll. But that's not the juicy bit. The juicy bit is that Olivia Wilde showing up in the same outfit of another guest means she wasn't the +1 for a designer or a guest of the Met because Anna would've told her to wear something else since the outfit was committed to Margaret. It means that Olivia paid $50K out of pocket to be embarrassed and supposedly Anna and Margaret were both so upset by it that Olivia may have been blacklisted from the gala for a few years. Now, why would Olivia shell out $50K for a ticket? Allegedly Harry Styles was going to be there too and she wanted to get back together with him.

[badhockeymom]

Cup Besties talking

It's about this ⤵

And this ⤴

Can't recommend this enough if you know any Finnish. They were veteran dad and rookie son, winning the most coveted prize in the hockey world, one to start off his NHL career, one to finally get the crown on his before retiring.

This is just the beginning of the roughly 1,5 hour conversation of Teuvo as a guest on Kimmo Timonen's and Antti Mäkinen's podcast. Teuvo's deadpan sarcasm and his subtle chuckles that soften his wry chirps and self-mockery work like a charm, sending his forty-something hosts into fits of laughter.

May be continued but let me put this out there first.

Kimmo: Our next guest hails from Helsinki. He's full 29 years old, but still has the face of a child. He goes by the nickname Turbo, which I don't understand, because he isn't that fast. A produce of the Jokerit, he has got, among other accolades, the Finnish rookie of the year award. From Jokerit, he went to Chicago, where we won the Stanley Cup together in 2015. Nowadays he plays for the Carolina Hurricanes alongside Sebastian Aho. Welcome, my good friend, Teuvo Teukka Teräväinen, to the Kimanttia podcast!

Teuvo: Thanks a lot, (chuckle) nice to be here even though you forced me to come.

Kimmo: (laugs) For your information, listeners, I've tried to goad Teukka for a guest appearance for two or three years, but he has always, always declined before now. It's good, it's great to hear your voice, man.

Antti (co-host Antti Mäkinen): I was so sure that Teuvo has been on the show but it's great that you're there now.

Teuvo: Yes, I always say to Kime that someday I'll come, and now I felt it's time.

Kimmo: Are you in Finland, Teukka?

Teuvo: Yes, a few days ago. I came straight to the cottage, it's nice to wind down for a few days here. Nothing special.

(They go on asking if Teuvo has watched the Worlds, he reminds the hosts that Canes were still playing when the games started.)

Kimmo: I wanted to ask, before we start going through your career, how long are you staying in Finland, and will you spend time at the cottage or do you have plans?

Teuvo: I usually head back to the States in the beginning of September, to settle down a little before the camp starts. In Finland, this summer will be quite busy, all my weekends are pretty much locked down, I have so many weddings and bachelor parties this summer.

Kimmo: Oh, you're getting married? I haven't got an invitation.

Teuvo: Yeah, multiple times. (Antti and Kimmo laugh) No, fortunately it isn't my wedding. They're nice events, but they do take up your time.

Kimmo: Yes they do, weekends come and go.

(Antti tells a story about a golf live stream during the covid lockdown, where Teuvo played against Patrik Laine. Both played well but in the end, Teuvo lost. He left the course with very few words, and after an half an hour, posted a pic of his golf bag on his Instagram story, captioned "Clubs for sale")

Teuvo: I remember that. It's what it is, it's never nice to lose.

Kimmo: (laughs) That sounds familiar because I've also sometimes played golf with Teukka, and the round has gone fine, and he says, I'm quitting this game.

Teuvo: Yeah... We've played tennis, too.

Antti: How do you do against him in tennis, can you hold your own?

Teuvo: Well, I don't think i've yet won Kime, at least on his home court.

Kimmo: Well now, there we heard the truth.

Teuvo: But now i have my own homecourt here at the cottage, you're welcome to challenge me here.

Kimmo: (softly) I must come over.

Teuvo: On my own court I haven't lost to anyone else but Henkka Kontinen who's a pretty good player. (Pro tennis player, doubles specialist, career high rank 1 in doubles)

Kimmo: Oh. I'll have to come and challenge you this summer.

Teuvo: You'll have to.

Antti: Hey, that guy is a professional at that tennis hobby of his, he does have an advance.

Teuvo: Or used to be, he hadn't been playing for a full year when he defeated me.

~~~

So, that's just the first five minutes.

A little extra treat from the next segment:

Kimmo: I did some research about your junior years, and it said you started on Helsingin Kojootit (Helsinki Coyotes). Where's Helsingin Kojootit?

Teuvo: It's -- in Helsinki. (chuckles.) Like it says, Helsingin Kojootit, how didn't you pick it up from the name?

(Laughter, Antti is dying)

[tf-lover]

Patreon, Discord and 4000 Followers

Hello!

So the other day I finally hit 4000 followers and wanted to say a massive thank you.

When I started this blog back sometime before the COVID pandemic (2019 I think?) as just a place to reblog and store my favourite stories I never expected it to come this far. Now over 4000 of you are following me and the horny writing I'm doing, and not to mention I've also met the wonderful @mrwavellswaps through this blog too.

Truly, thank you all for the love and appreciation. ❤

More importantly though, as you can probably tell from the title, I've decided to celebrate I'm going to launch a Patreon! Link Here

Now, this is going to work a little differently from some of the creator Patreon's you're probably used to from writers like me.

First off, I want to make it clear I won't be offering exclusive story content on my Patreon. There will be other perks as I'll detail below, but all of the stuff I write will still be posted publicly and for free here on Tumblr. This is at the end of the day a hobby I do for fun; I've already got a full-time job! Secondly, I'm still open to commissions if any of you are interested. Check my commission post for more details on that.

Patreon Perks

Tier 1 - General Support

No specific benefits here, mostly just for those that want to show a little support. I may from time to time post polls for upcoming stories and such in this tier, as well as more personal updates about planned stories I'm working on.

Tier 2 - Roleplaying

Most of you that know me know I enjoy a good roleplay, so I thought what better way than to incorperate it into my Patreon! This (and higher) tiers will give you access to my newly created Discord server where you can come in and chat to others and myself in character, join one of the larger roleplays I've set up, or just share your favourite hunks and search for private roleplays, this will hopefully be the place for you.

Tier 3 - Early Access

Early access to stories! I'll be posting new stories and captions I write to this tier at least a couple of days early before they're released here on Tumblr for everyone. This Tier will also include Discord access to the roleplay server.

Tier 4 - Commission

This tier is mostly a placeholder as a reminder I have commissions open, but if anyone does take the slot I'll happily fulfill it. Price here is in line with those in my commission post.

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That's pretty much everything from me. If you have any questions about the Patreon or Discord please do let me know!

- TF Lover