#mostly npd and bpd

[dodgeryy]

Cluster B bitches watching Baby Reindeer:

[possamble]

I know we don't get much of Marcille's pov in "A little creature who loves you" but what we've been able to glean from her expression of anger at Falin in the fifth chapter and the (surprisingly but extremely welcome as it made the smut hit the spot even more) deep dive into what feeds Marcille's behaviour in "The Dragoness of Melini", you've written Marcille's self-centeredness and narcissism in an extremely poignant way. You really get the feeling that she *does* want to do good and make the world better but overcorrects by trying to control those around her, which people like Namari interpret as purely wrong. I'm a trans girl with NPD (same as the anon recommending Bellwether's zine) and I fucking love what you're doing with Marcille on that front (and many other fronts).

THANK YOU for understanding what I'm trying to do with Marcille fjsjkdkf so many people try to reduce her to her control issues or file them off altogether but. I just. Even when people are able to acknowledge her multitudes I've always wanted to take it a step further where her wish to do good and be good isn't opposed to her fussy neurotic narcissism, but but enmeshed together as one core and unique part of her personality. She loves being deferred to and respected as an authority because it makes her feel important AND because it enables her to help and be useful to other people. Her desire to help people is fueled by a desire to feel important and respected and her desire to feel powerful and important is motivated by her desire to help people and it's not a black and white good or bad thing that can be separated.

Sorry this is jdkdkf turning into another Marcille rant but. My blorbo. I wish more people could see how, despite a lot of emotional hypocrisy in interpersonal relationships (via her inability to understand other perspectives), she holds herself to the same high standards she imposes on others. She is a control freak about herself first and foremost. You never see her more despondent than the times she has failed to meet her own expectations, and furthermore, caused trouble for other people because of it.

In some ways, she's a pathetic little wet cat with the backbone of a drippy eclair. In others, she's a fucking iron fist that will not tolerate failure or weakness in herself. Sometimes she gets a little too smug and peacocks around in her own accomplishments while fishing for more praise. Others, she thinks that doing an insane amount of work in service of other people is the bare fucking minimum that she expects no praise for while berating herself when she can't meet her own requirements. She has the pathetic ridiculousness of a constantly-distressed diva and the fiery dignity of a dragon AND the vulnerability of a terribly lonely girl and just.

She's terrible and projects her own expectations on other people far too often. She's wonderful and at heart just wants to help people. She's neither and just wants to feel a little less lost and a little more loved in a very big world. She's horrid AND fully capable of growing past it in ways not everyone acknowledges so I'm just happy my vision for her resonates with other people djsjdjf

[galaxynajma]

I was gonna say something about how in an ideal world Ness and Kaiser would spread awareness for NPD and BPD but then the more I thought about it … would they actually do that?

[eclaire-went-bam]

something really funny to me about my mom really thinking i wanted to become a therapist because i'm taking psychology & have like 2-3 psych books

i would genuinely be The Worst therapist i simply wouldn't be able to care about any of my patients . i would believe i am better than my patients . it would be a circus .

[theokusgallery]

i have bad news for anyone who expects mental illness to be family friendly

^ yeah!

[npdvelvette]

got used to specific blogs regularly interacting with my posts & now they’ve stopped im like. is this a conspiracy against me where everyone hates me but won’t tell me to my face

[fandesinae]

expanding on my tags on the last post, the reason i kinda interpreted that way is bc i HC alastor as being actually antisocial. like, not the Spooky Sociopath Villain Mastermind tropey thing, but actually a person with ASPD. i think he displays it super fucking accurately in many ways, including this trying to control everything, sow discord, and hurt/manipulate others, but not actually succeeding at it to this mystical, nigh supernatural, way that you see in media that wants to prop "psychopathy/sociopathy" up as a uniquely evil boogeyman.

sure, he's a terrible person and a literal murderer, but he's also a disordered human being. he missed a huge opportunity to be very successfully manipulative over his target. why?

because he was bored.

chronic boredom that genuinely fucks up your life by making you miss opportunities, lose valuable relationships, and put yourself in danger is a hallmark of genuine antisocial personality disorder. yes, there was a perfect opportunity to manipulate charlie in that scene. but he didn't take it. because even though pushing a wedge between her and her partner may have been a productive move for his goals (like potentially isolating her for more control), he didn't take that chance, because talking about her relationship was super fucking boring.

he's not magically better at being evil and manipulative simply because he's disordered. in fact his disorder makes him worse at it than someone else with equally evil desires might be, imo.

[cherrieguroo]

you ever just hear about some mental thing and go "oh i relate to that a lot lol" and then it haunts you for the rest of your life because the more you hear about it the more it feels like you've felt that before but you can't just assume you have it so instead you just keep it in the back of your mind

[neurotypical-sonic]

just you wait until I finally dig in and do some research and give sonic a cluster b personality disorder

[karmaphone]

I find murder docs hilarious* sometimes because they'll deadass have a guy write 'shame' on a whiteboard and throw 'intense' music over it and that'll be an establishing shot for a guy named dick to talk about how mothers are the root cause of serial killers

[genderdog]

ok if i assign almost all of my kins bpd what then

[eclaire-went-bam]

ppl, especially low/no-empathy ppl, who talk to ableist anti-pd cluster b abuse believers with the upmost patience & understanding are so crazy (/pos) for that because what

how do y'all sit there and level w/ them just. so much.

i know it's kind of necessary bcs even if they don't listen to us anyways, they're only gonna think we're 10× worse if we don't walk them through the spiel w/ hands held (which we're not even owed to do anyways) but like i can hardly see myself doing it

so like

respect

[sadicubus]

Cluster-B attraction flags

(transabled DNI)

FPattraction - BPD exclusive

An aro/ace (depending on how it is used) label where an individual only or mostly feels (romantic/sexual/etc) attraction towards their favorite person.

ATPattraction - HPD exclusive

An aro/ace (depending on how it is used) label where an individual only or mostly feels (romantic/sexual/etc) attraction towards their attention person.

EPattraction / CHPattraction - NPD exclusive

An aro/ace (depending on how it is used) label where an individual only or mostly feels (romantic/sexual/etc) attraction towards their equal person and/or chosen person.

EXPattraction / PICattraction - ASPD exclusive

An aro/ace (depending on how it is used) label where an individual only or mostly feels (romantic/sexual/etc) attraction towards their exception person and/or partner in crime.

[tobydandelion]

Disabled Villainy isn't Ableism, it's Realism, or; Some People are Wrong about Nessa.

[Some 'Wicked' stage musical/Movie part 2 spoilers]

So I've been seeing a lot of takes about Nessa, (mostly on YouTube since that's the best social media platform for my current neurological needs), and there's a somewhat common one that I have the strong urge to dispute into the void. Some folks seem to misunderstand Nessa's role in the deconstruction of 'Evil'.

The Wizard is Systemic Evil, Glinda is Complacent Evil, and Nessa is Socially Traumatized Evil.

Because Wicked isn't just deconstructing society's perception of evil, but also Evil in practice- which comes from not only bias, misunderstanding, apathy, and greed- but also, the cycle of abuse. And a lot of disabled people don't like to hear this, because there's that lovely statistic that we can point to that says we're "more likely to be victims"- and that's true of abuse that reaches the level of criminality- but I dont think that's true of day-to-day, average, 'just plain mean' abuse. That kind of abuse is a learned behavior that comes from trauma. And, emotional neglect from your peers is trauma. Feeling like a burden is trauma. Watching all the other children playing and feeling left out is trauma. Being made to feel different over your entire life, is trauma.

Nessa isn't an ableist character, she's realistically Borderline for being disabled in a world without Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. Her character literally feels like she was written with BPD/NPD in mind- lashing out the most when she's feeling abandoned by a person she perceives as "hers", feeling the need to control the people around her, not caring how she hurts people in the process of that attempt to control their affection- she's literally my ex wife. They're both very extreme examples, but, with an understandable pathology. And the less extreme version of that is someone a lot of us need to actively fight against becoming every day. It's not fair that that's our burden, but it is. It's the thick line between healthy self-loving disabiltyPunk, or just being a dick. And it's a part of our extra personal labor that 'Entitles' us to an extra amount of grace that I don't think I'll ever really be able to properly quantify, because that line can be hard to see in the heat of the moment, through years of gaslighting and guilt and shame and resulting internalized ableism that we have the urge to fight against. The only way we can really see that line is in hindsight.

And while media that more thoroughly deconstructs this cycle is neccessary, so is simple media like Wicked. Especially in the context of an example of another traumatized marginalized character who made the decision to start actively trying to follow their ethics over their emotions despite their trauma. And, once again, the solution isn't limiting the options for marginalized characters, it's just making more marginalized characters in general.

A lot of folks also take issue with the entire concept of depicting disability being 'cured' in media at all, but, and thankfully I have actually seen this rebuttal: nothing about her life gets better once she becomes abled. And that's because she still has all that trauma from those years of severe marginalization that resulted in ostracization and feelings of powerlessness. She's still disabled- just only neurologically so, now. This is a terrific example of how different disabilities can intersect, and be exacerbated, or even created, by the neurological impact of marginalization.

In fact, that brings up another criticism that I've heard- that the characters are realistically ableist... in a society falling to fascism... in a story all about marginalization. I'm pretty sure that's intended, you guys.

Maybe I'll turn this into a script to film for shortform content next year when Part 2 comes out- I hope I'm out of Postpartum Depression by then. But I couldn't get this out of my head until I got it into words this morning. I think that's probably a good sign I'm starting to feel more like myself. Thankfully I had time to sit down and rock and type this morning, since my partner is taking care of our baby in the other room right now. (Not just babysitting, either- he's washing bottles.❤) He's 6 months now, and the most beautiful, funny, amazing person in the world. Meeting the new version of him every day as he gets stronger and brighter has been the light keeping me going. And we're already doing PHONICS. ���🧠

[nagichi-boop]

Sonic Disability Headcanons

This’ll be kinda long cuz I want to cover as many characters as possible and I want to include both mental and physical disorders. Spoilers but I made everyone neurodivergent.

Sonic — adhd, Tourettes; chondromalacia patella, chronic migraines (post Frontiers), narcolepsy type 2

Tails — autism, anxiety, cptsd, ocd, morsicatio buccarum (cheek biting); chronic migraines, arthritis (mostly in wrists)

Knuckles — autism, adhd; cfs/me (when away from Master Emerald)

Amy Rose — adhd, bpd; near-sightedness

Shadow — autism, ptsd, cptsd, bpd; unspecified chronic pain (caused by chaos energy, mostly affects knees), cfs/me, chronic migraines, insomnia

Rouge — autism; fibromyalgia, pcos, ibs

Omega — autism

Silver — autism, adhd, anxiety, schizophrenia, chronic motor tic disorder; asthma, pots, eds, fibromyalgia, insomnia

Blaze — autism, ocd, depression, trichotillomania (hair pulling); endometriosis, ibs, lactose intolerance

Cream — autism, anxiety, ptsd; celiac disease, epilepsy

Espio — autism, ocd, ptsd, dpdr; chronic migraines

Vector — autism, adhd; ankylosing spondylitis

Charmy Bee — adhd, dyslexia, dyspraxia, Tourettes; hard of hearing, asthma

Metal Sonic — autism, npd

Sticks — autism, adhd, schizophrenia; eds

Whisper — autism, dyspraxia, depression, ptsd, cptsd; cfs/me, fnd

Tangle — adhd, dyslexia, ptsd; eds, arthritis

Surge — autism, adhd, cptsd, npd, aspd, dpdr; type 1 diabetes (hypoglycaemia), fibromyalgia

Kit — autism, anxiety, depression, dpd, Tourettes, stuttering/stammering; chronic migraines, pots, eds

(I may tweak this as I change my mind or adopt other people’s headcanons, but I wanted to have all my thoughts in one place.)

[livingfictionsystem]

Hot psychology take:

Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorder is *so* comorbid.

Like a 30-40% comorbidity rate. The two overlap a Lot. Mostly because of a gender differential; a lot of AMAB people are dx'd as Npd and AFABs are dx'd BPD even if they have the same symptoms.

Yet I'm seeing Borderline people like "Oh yeah I'm an EMPATH that was VICTIMIZED by a NARCISSIST" and Narcissists that are like "Oh I'm a shark chasing after prey, I don't feel anything, all I need a source."

Like no. Y'all ain't that different from one another. There is a substantial overlap in that Venn diagram. The fact that you act like this emotions vs. Non-emotional dichotomy fucking SENDS me, that's not how this works.

I'm Borderline. I don't have NPD, but I'm friends with at least two clinical Narcissists and I love them to death. I relate to them on some levels, not others. PwNPD have emotion, deep emotion, but they operate on the realization that emotional honesty is weakness and that ego is a defense. Borderlines have been punished for having identity and boundaries and therefore sacrifice it for the chance to be loved until they can't take it anymore. Both are trauma-born. Both can be manipulative. Both are statistically more often victims than perpetrators.

Cut the shit already.

-Sincerely, a Borderline dude that loves the entire Cluster B for what it is.

-Sparrow 🧷