#most people only learn about these disorders through social media

[lovingk9z]

So many people don't understand how severe mental illnesses and disorders can be; instead of asking questions, people just sit with the assumptions that lead them to treat us poorly.

I get the same with OCD, I have to think way too hard about how I talk about my disorder because hardly anyone understands how awful it actually is.

This is undoubtedly the case for anyone else suffering from an illness or disorder, but it shouldn't have to be.

anxiety is so insane bc ppl will treat it like it's no big deal, like it's "one of the "easy" mental illnesses" or something, and then you have it and it's insanely debilitating and you lose most of your life and your time and energy to it. yesterday i spent 2 hours sitting in my bed trying to convince myself to go to a water fountain to get some water. one time i got so scared to take a bus i passed out. like sure it's a spectrum and i'm definitely at the more severe end of it but the fact that milder cases exist doesn't mean it's not still a problem? and it doesn't mean that those people aren't struggling too

[sophieinwonderland]

Hi sophie (again) one really quick note, the reason i read through your ENTIRE blog is because my dissertation is on facetious disorders portrayed and influenced by social media and the likes of such- it is literally a 250 page document about people like you. It's literally a part of my research to read long-winded things like this and write about them. My livelihood revolves around this. I don't expect to see a Dr. before your name, but you can damn well expect to see it before mine.

The only reason I sent that ask and wrote a targeted post was to get a response from you. The only reason. Had some writers block lol, I needed some material 😅😅

Another note to add to the grooming part was not about LGBTQ or transgender people as I am both myself. Please do not take it as a jab to your gender identity, and I apologize if it came off that way. It was in no way meant to insult you in that regard.

First, thanks for clarifying about the use of grooming. I don't mean to suggest you did intend it as a remark about my gender identity.

But I do think it's important to note in a "you are not immune to propaganda" way. Because I think, consciously or unconsciously, anti-endos have adopted transphobic talking points.

I assume and hope that this is unconscious. That rather than looking at how conservatives have used these talking points to harm queer communities and going "yeah, we can use that talking point too with these people we don't like," this absorption and repetition of these talking points is happening on a subconscious level. In which case, I think it's important to understand where they've originated and what the history is behind them.

As well as what misusing these terms normalizes. Because repeating them does contribute to a culture that is okay with using "grooming" this way to associate people they don't like with child abusers.

Now, allow me to first commend you on starting work on your dissertation so early. Working on it at just 20 is quite impressive indeed.

Although I have to question the subject matter.

A factitious disorder is when somebody is faking a disorder or pretending to have a disorder. It seems strange that you would seek to use examples of people who do not actually have a disorder and are not claiming to.

Even if endogenic systems were lying, unless they're presenting themselves as having a disorder they weren't, they wouldn't qualify for criterion B.

If you do want to write about people who have plural experiences without having trauma or a disorder, you might want to actually read my studies and research page. I'm sure that you could find stuff there that could help you on your journey.

And if you plan on writing about tulpamancy, specifically, Dr. Samuel Veissiere's Variety of Tulpa Experiences is probably most useful in understanding the tulpamancy community and viewpoints on the practice.

I would also recommend Learning to Discern the Voices of Gods, Spirits, Tulpas, and the Dead, as it offers a great comparison between tulpamancy and other forms of non-pathological voice hearing.

I imagine that these studies are much more productive uses of your time than scrolling through over 11,000 Tumblr posts, and would look better as sources in your dissertation.

Finally, if you are committed to doing a dissertation on factitious disorder, I would highly advise learning how to spell factitious. Because it's not "facetious" disorders, and spelling it that way might look a bit awkward on your dissertation about factitious disorder.

[cazort]

If you missed this debate, I recommend watching it. It starts at 3:46. Or skip to closing statements 1:44:21. Setting aside any stances on issues or character, I want to comment on one thing:

As some of you may know, I have suffered from depression on and off as an adult, especially in my first years out of college. Depression is a terrifying mental illness that can distort your view of reality, making your brain shut out positive things, and fixate on and magnify negative things. Your whole worldview can become disconnected from reality. It can destroy your life and it can kill.

Watching this debate, especially the closing statements, was surreal to me because Trump's rhetoric sounds a lot like my own brain when I was at my worst. He makes broad negative generalizations: "We're a failing nation" / "the worst president / the worst vice president". In cognitive behavioral therapy, you learn to recognize patterns of "Cognitive Distortions". Trump does nearly all of them: overgeneralization, all-or-nothing / black-and-white thinking, negative labeling, magnification / minimization, mental filter, mind-reading, jumping-to-conclusions, blame.

I got out of my depression in large part by therapy, journaling, and disciplining myself to learn how to think more rationally, learning how to identify my distorted thinking, interrupt it, and restructure it. When I learned these things, going back into the political sphere became a bit horrifying because I started to see many of these same distortions in political rhetoric.

I have also learned that depression is not strictly an individual illness, it is also social. Researchers have shown that it can travel through social networks, that as people around you sink into or climb out of depression, you become more likely to do so as well. Part of how this happens is that you can pick up ideas and beliefs from others that can either make it more likely that you become depressed, or that you recover from depression.

One of the main roles of the US president is as a spokesperson, not only for the US but for the world. There is no other individual in the world who gets as much media attention and has as much reach or influence to their voice a the US president.

And there is a very real danger, when you put someone in charge whose speech and communication patterns are characteristic of mental illness, that that person will spread mental illness to others worldwide. Even setting aside any sort of consideration of policy. But these issues also affect policy. If someone is not thinking rationally, and is not speaking rationally, how can I trust them and the people they are surrounded with to make sound policy decisions?

Trump's speech here not only shows patterns of thinking in common with depression, but also with anxiety disorders, borderline personality disorder, various psychotic disorders (he descends into paranoia at times), and perhaps most concerningly, hate ideologies and violent behaviors. If you want to learn more about this, I recommend the book "Prisoners of Hate" by Aaron Beck (1999). If you have read that book, you will understand how the way Trump communicates is packed with ideas and thinking patterns that predispose people to violence and hate.

Harris? She's just normal. I'm not saying she's perfect. And she says some things that are exaggerations or distortions of the truth, just like any politician. But on the criteria of mental health, she seems much more mentally healthy. And I want her leading the US, and influencing the world. I want people to be listening to her normal, respectful, coherent, speech. I think she will be a better leader and I think the collective mental health of the entire world will be better off as a result.

Please consider this factor when choosing to vote in the upcoming election.

[suratan-zir]

warning: lethal dose of oversharing

Autumn started with a depressive episode, as per usual. When you have bipolar disorder for long enough, you know when to expect the worst times, and for me it's during autumn-winter. Winter used to be my favorite season, but now I'm basically a plant, relying heavily on the amount of sunshine hours to function. This time it's the worst (subjectively speaking) kind of depression. I can live with severely damaged executive function, sleep and stare into the ceiling for weeks, no problem (obviously, only because I have my husband to take care of me, otherwise I wouldn't survive on my own).

What truly gets me is when the painful nostalgia kicks in, the longing for something, someone from the past I can't have. In my "normal" mental state I accepted that these people are forever in the past, they are no good for me, I am no good for them, and that's okay. I accepted that I would never have close friends again, I am too tiresome a person to be around for too long (I know many people say that about themselves, but in my case it's unfortunately true). And as time goes by it's getting harder and harder for me to open up to someone. Even to myself, actually. For most of my life, from the moment I more or less learned to write, I kept a diary (or journal, or whatever you crazy kids call it these days). But a few years ago I stopped. I catch myself on being dishonest. With myself, yes. I realized that I could no longer openly write what was really on my mind. At least not like I used to. So that's that.

So anyway, in my "normal" state I'm content with having only one person to talk to. It can get lonely, but I'm okay. However, in the "not-so-normal state" it's a whole different story. In mania, I sometimes absolutely need to have friends, I start talking more to the people online, but after the standart "asking each other lots of questions" phase it soon gets awkward and leads nowhere once I'm no longer in mania.

It's worse in melancholic depression.

This is when nostalgia kicks in. Or "saudade" should I call it? A terrible feeling of longing for people with whom I once was close. They've moved on, I've moved on. They live their happy or miserable lives, I live mine. Except that I'm lying and I don't really know how to move on, I just never do. I also lost people to the war, even though they're alive. So when this kind of depression begins, I start listening to songs from the past, I drown in painful memories, losing my mind in the flashbacks forced upon me by my brain when I'm trying to simply take a shower or have a lunch. I have dreams filled with places from the past. If it goes too far, I start googling names like a creep, looking at social media pages. I don't do it often, maybe once every few years, but it feels humiliating and icky every time.

Today I was brave and foolish. I went through my old email for the first time since moving from Donetsk. I didn't find what I was looking for. I felt disappointed rather than relieved.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #89

I have had a very busy day today.

It started off with going to the good place with all the nice people to listen to the awesome leader there speak on various things. Today we thought about how our actions impact the world around us, and about how important it is to pay attention and to be brave, but at the same time, about how important it is to rest and to seek support when we need it. My brain is soup right now, so the words have crumbled and faded away, but the meaning remains. Every time I go there and come back, I feel a little more courageous and a little more connected to the world around me, at least for a little while.

On the way home, J and I stopped at Eggcellent for some bubble tea. It has been some time since I had been back there; it felt good to get a rose matcha latte. I wish I could bring you there; I think you would very much enjoy a lot of their selections.

Then, at around 2PM, my friend P and his sister J picked me up and we went to go see a concert called A Legend of the Opera. There was a little pamphlet that came with it, which had a summary of the plot in text form; I was unable to understand most of the social nuances involved with it, because I think I was missing a lot of the context. I listened to the music, and that was nice, but there were no lyrics printed, and I have Audio Processing Disorder, so I couldn't understand a word of what anyone was saying. But there were a lot of awesome people doing very impressive things on a stage - people whose voices sounded really nice, and people who have spent a lot of time learning how to play beautiful melodies on their various instruments, so even though I had no idea what was going on, it was still amazing to witness, and I'm glad that my friends thought to invite me!

P and J are older than me by at least three decades, I think. They have seen much during the course of their lives, and they are extremely well-versed in history, as well as a huge variety of movies, literature, music, and theater productions. Anytime we go see a concert, there is always lively snacks and discussion afterwards about the various media that exist and how they relate to the real world around us. Time with them is always enlightening.

I only got home not too terribly long ago, though. It is 11:14pm, and I've been out and about since 9am. I experienced a lot of amazing things today, most of which my brain is too soupy to be able to describe right now. But nonetheless, I wish you could have been here with me to see all these things. I wish I could show you live performances of the beautiful music in my world. I wish I could offer you a spoonful of the cinnamon, cardamom, and saffron ice cream that P, J, and I shared. I wish I could give you a BLT, or a bowl of Italian Wedding Soup. I wish I could include you in lively conversation with all of the wise and intelligent people I know. I wish… goodness… I wish you could see through my eyes, even if it's just for a little while.

…Heck, instead of just seeing through my eyes, I wouldn't mind at all if we could trade places. I know that your circumstances are ones of immense loneliness and suffering. And mine, at this point in my life, are very much not that. So if it meant that you could be safe, if it meant that you could be happy, if it meant that you could have a life full of beautiful, loving, gentle things with people who genuinely care about you, people who challenge your perspective, people who teach you things, people who make you think… I'd take your place in a heartbeat. Even knowing how your circumstances might end (because they ended in the worst possible way before; I hope you won't go down that path this time), I wouldn't even hesitate. You could have mine, and I wouldn't mind at all, because my friends love me, and so I know they'd take good care of you. And given how soft and kind and gentle and smart you are, I know you would learn how to heal and then thrive and take good care of them in my absence, too. I just know it.

Hey, Sephiroth? I'm pretty tired, so I'm gonna end this letter here. Maybe soon I'll write some more about ACEs; there are more things to this rabbit hole that I didn't cover, but my brain is a bit too mushy to get into it now. So you gotta stay safe for next time, because there's still so much that you haven't seen, so much you haven't done, and so much that you still don't know. You can't disappear. Not yet. Please.

I love you and I'll write to you soon. Please make kind and gentle choices as you move forward into the future.

Your friend, Lumine

[compassionatereminders]

hi kat, hope you are doing okay right now. i know things are tough and fuck tiny and whatever the other one is called. the stupid one. anyways.

recently ive been trying to practice self love more, i stopped self harming, got back onto medication for my depression, stopped looking at harmful websites like gore and self harm images, got off most social media, and i try to be nice to what i see in the mirror, face wise. i actually dont feel like my self destructive habits are that harmful, but logically i know they are. i dont feel like they gravely effect my life, they jsut feel like weird dirty secrets i have but i know it is not good for me. I've been focused on dealing with my depression but i haven't done anything about my disordered eating habits. They just feel so intertwined with how i go about things in a way, because im 16 now and i think it started when i was 12. i just remember not caring at all about my body or food, and then suddenly i did. and i had these weird specific things i hated and started learning about nutrition and just, fell down a horrible rabbit hole. i just feel like, i am SO not ready to let go of this. its a comfort, my safety net. i dont even know how to eat normal anymore honestly, i got too much stuff memorized. Sometimes im fully aware i have horrid body dysmphoria, but other times i feel like i see myself clearly and what the people around me dont get is that i have different (and really bad) ideas of what looks good on me, aka i know i fit their ideals of a good looking healthy body but i dont fit MINE. im just scared if i recover these thoughts and ideals wont ever leave, like at the back of my mind they will be there and ill just be trying not to think about how i dont look like that the rest of my life and how miserable thatd be. my ed is just, sorta part of my routine. aghhhhh. just feels sorta good to let that out. i know you dont have specific advice for this topic but i wanted to talk about it a little anyway but, OVERALL; im focusing on healing and my health but am more focused on depression and other things then dealing with my disordered eating habits, which i know are not at all good but at the same time i cant bring myself to care that they arent. do you think im still making progress towards healing and being happier? even if i havent addressed a certain elephant in the room?

Yes. If you can only acknowledge progress which successfully attacks every area of struggle equally at all times, you will not get very far. You gotta start somewhere. And you have started. And that matters, even if you aren't at a point where you can fix every single problem in your life. It's okay to say "right now I'm working on self harm and depression" and let that be enough for now, cause honestly? Working through self harm and depression is worthwhile and impressive by itself, even if it won't fix everything. Removing two elephants from your apartment will make it a lot easier to live in even if the third elephant is still there. You have more options than doing nothing vs doing everything and what you're doing now fucking rocks. Be proud of your hard work

[pinkarachnia]

Lesbian Anime Review #10 - Yuri is my Job

And yet, a small ember of hope continues to burn in the hearts of dykes..

Despite all odds, I liked this show. Credit to my dear friend @occultattorneygeneral for making the above image and for watching this show with me as it aired.

As with every yuri I watch, I watch the start with my partner to see if it will be one of our shows for the anime season. After the first episode of this, I wasn't particularly impressed and I watched the rest in discord calls with the girls. This may have elevated my experience of the show, but I can't review your experience now can I? If you thought this was bad, maybe try watching it with some lesbians next time.

So the setup for this show is that the protagonist, Hime, is a real piece of shit. Lying is her real job, and her whole character is that she pretends to be nice so that people will like her. She's disingenuous and doesn't like people. She's also kind of an idiot, which will come up later. Hime is blackmailed into working at a cafe where the premise is that the wait staff dress in cosplay as fictional characters attending a school in a shoujo manga setting and act out fictional relationships. The cafe attendees use forums or some kind of social media to document events that occur in the cafe and keep track of plot events.

Back to the blackmail for a second; Hime's boss is fucked up! She is faking an injury for the entire 12 episode season and uses this to forcefully recruit Hime. So she's a bad person. The workplace she runs is also AWFUL. The work culture is crazy toxic in this cafe and she does nothing to help.

So there are 4 characters who work as waitresses in this cafe and they're the main characters of the show. The protagonist, Hime, pairs herself up with another one of the girls working there, Mitsuki, characterised by her serious attitude and how she breasts boobily. They've got issues which they might work through but who knows?

The other two are Hime's friend Kanoko and the most tenured staff member, Sumika. You'd better believe those two have some issues too.

So the gist of the plot is that Hime needs to figure out how to deal with this new job where she gets to employ her fantastic skills in pretending to be nice and cute while also trying to stay on good terms with Mitsuki, who seems to hate Hime right out of the gate.

It's yuri, baby.

I AM GOING TO SPOIL THE EVENTS OF THIS ANIME BELOW

NOTE THAT THIS IS AN ADAPTION OF AN ONGOING MANGA AND DOES NOT HAVE A CONCLUSION SO NO ENDING SPOILERS REALLY BUT YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Shoutout to the chef girl.

There are some great things about this show, but it takes a while to get going.

After the characters are introduced, we learn a few key facts. Hime and Mitsuki knew each other when they were kids in school, but haven't seen each other for years. Mitsuki recognises Hime because she hasn't changed much, but Hime is an idiot, so she doesn't do the same. They have a whole backstory where back when Hime was a juvenile liar, she and Mitsuki were besties and she told Mitsuki about her whole deal being a sociopath. Mitsuki is kind of autistic coded and doesn't seem to get why anyone would lie on purpose. She calls out Hime for being fake in front of the girls in class that Hime actually dislikes but pretends to like and they have a falling out. There's a big misunderstanding between the two of them that causes this, but Hime decides that people who call her out as a liar are bad people and Mitsuki develops a hatred towards people who tell lies. The two don't see each other again until they're reunited in the cafe, plausible personality disorders in tow.

Hime's friend Kanoko is fucked up! She's an obsessive weirdo who is in love with Hime and terrified of her finding out about it because she cherishes her position as Hime's only real friend and thinks that Hime wouldn't like her any more if she knew. Normal, well-adjusted girls are not present in this show.

Most of this season is actually about Kanoko. Episodes 1-5 are about Hime and Mitsuki's backstory, then 5-11 are Kanoko-centric. The other staff member, Sumika, figures out Kanoko's deal when she leaves her phone at work and Sumika finds the enormous stockpile of Hime photos that Kanoko has taken in secret. She makes the very normal decision to intervene in this and convince Kanoko to drop the romantic feelings for her friend.

Turns out, Sumika has baggage because prior to these girls working in the cafe, there were two other girls who were gay for each other in the cafe, and this messed things up for Sumika. She had been in a kayfabe relationship with one of these two, and when they started hooking up for real, that bled into the kayfabe and ruined it for her. It's somewhat implied that Sumika had feelings of her own and perhaps was vicariously enjoying that through her fictional girlfriend, but they don't go into this too far. It all got ruined when one of the two fags left the cafe and ditched her gf in the process, which resulted in her resigning as a waitress too. But she stuck around and is revealed to be the chef! I like the chef. She may not wear a hairnet, but safe kitchen practices aside, I think she's alright.

The way they resolve things with Kanoko and Sumika is my favourite part of this show. After Sumika talks to the chef, who basically tells her that she's in the wrong for trying to control other people's feelings, she and Kanoko have a talk where Kanoko has a bit of a breakdown thinking about how she's too anxious to talk to Hime about her feelings, but if she never talks about it, it's like those feelings never happened. Sumika opens up to Kanoko and volunteers to listen to her vent about her gay feelings, becoming Kanoko's only confidant. The two of them then get together in cafe kayfabe as a pair.

I absolutely love these two. They're both fucked up girls with baggage over unrequited gay feelings who feel isolated in their worlds but find comfort in each other, and I think that's more of a real connection than I see in most anime that try to tell gay stories. I would love to see another season of this mainly because I think these two have such good chemistry and I want to see their relationship evolve. I want to see the moment where Kanoko realises that she's gotten over Hime because she got to experience a friendship that felt reciprocative and not performative. (that's speculation, I don't know what happens in the manga)

I do want to talk about how these girls have a dedicated fanbase of customers who constantly speculate online about what's going on in the cafe. It seems like the customers are inclined to speculate on what's going on both in and out of kayfabe, which cannot be good for these girls. It's also unclear how many hours this place is open for per day - it seems like this kind of thing could only be open for a few hours during specific times because this kind of work would be exhausting. The girls have lore to familiarise themselves with so that their actions align with the canon of their setting, which is based on books that the protagonist can't seem to read a single volume of by the end of the season.

It's also hilarious to me that at the start, the staff keep getting pissed at Hime for breaking canon with her actions and they even explain this to her backstage, but she's like, "I just don't get why they're mad at me" like they didn't just tell her. That doesn't forgive that she was shunted into this role and expected to adhere to these lore-specific rules without being given the relevant information in advance, but everyone is in the wrong in this show.

I'm pleasantly surprised to say that I do recommend Yuri is my Job, or Watashi no Yuri wa Oshigoto Desu if you're so inclined.

I might even pick up the manga, at this point I'm invested.

I was initially turned off this because I thought the characters were going to be too tropey for me to enjoy, but they were appropriately melodramatic all the time and I looked forward to my yuri session with the girls every week.

Girls do kiss in this show. Eat my entire ass, Birdie Wing.

I'm giving this show a 7/10 and I'm giving my dyke friends a 10.

[dhampiravidi]

to those who have an issue w/drag (& tbh, queer/nonconforming people in general)

TL;DR: please don't follow me if you are the above. I'd be supporting ignorance. Here's my explanation.

Brief background (on me & my stance): I was born AFAB, to parents who, for most of my childhood, either took no stance or a liberal stance in conversations that became politicized/publicized by the media. My school didn't talk about politics until President Obama was elected (& ofc his election was seen as a historic, positive moment). Anyway, no one talked about sexuality, biological sex, or gender identity--all of which are different, sometimes overlapping topics.

Then my mom happened to have a young student who had 2 dads. I was confused. When they'd hug or kiss (nothing graphic, just regular couple stuff), I felt...weird. No, not aroused OR disgusted--I was maybe 8 at the time, anyway. But I was definitely not used to seeing or hearing about gay people. Whenever that good ol' scene where 2 sexy college girls kiss to appease a bunch of boys came on the TV, my mom would roll her eyes. When 2 men would kiss in a different scene, my dad would make an excuse and leave. Long story short, until I literally Googled what it was to be queer, I didn't understand what I had seen. I'd learn that my mom supported all queer people (going as far as to publicly support a student's efforts to transition in high school) and my dad, who is still learning, grew up exposed to extremely heteronormative ideals.

Now we get to my identities.

I started to question my sexuality at 10, but I wasn't "sure"* that I was bisexual/pansexual (I don't mind either term; yes, I "can" be attracted to trans people) until I was 12. Unfortunately, my parents initially tried to ignore my realization. They didn't want to talk about it. But I had friends who came out at the same time. (I was also a very salty high schooler.) So I kept pushing and pushing for the discussion, because I had a right to be heard. I had a right to be myself and not lie about who I was. My parents had always talked about how I should be proud to be a smart Black woman, so...I ran with that. I am lucky to have a family who (finally) accepts my sexuality.

Again, I'm AFAB. I don't mind my genitalia. I hate my body, but that (for me) is tied to my mental health, as I have been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (I inherited a disposition to this), Generalized Anxiety Disorder (the result of several environmental and self-imposed factors), and Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (due to some trauma experienced outside my home). I have thought about having traditionally-male genitalia, but I don't think I personally need it to be happy. However, I acknowledge that this is just how I feel, and it doesn't take away from how others feel.

I didn't even think much about my own gender until the last year or so. I only knew that I had always been unhappy with my social life. I currently have a badass handful of buddies who I love SO MUCH, but I still sometimes feel...wrong. When I look in the mirror, I don't just feel ugly. I don't think I look human. I hung out with boys throughout elementary school and I (mostly via the CW and Disney Channel) was exposed to a lot of what some call the "male gaze". For example, I remember all the shows that featured a girl (usually the male characters' crush(es)) getting splashed with water--enough so her petite hourglass form would show through her then-transparent clothes. So I had an idea of what beauty was. Somehow, I also had an idea of what being cool/handsome (my words for "beautiful in a masculine way" back then) was: toned muscles, the ability to intimidate anyone, wearing tight clothes, etc. Anyway, I started school early, meaning that until maybe the end of middle school, I was always shorter than everyone else. I didn't mind being called cute all the time, until my friends were getting asked out as teenagers. Suddenly, I wanted to be seen as attractive. I ended up basing my self-image on how many people had crushes on me (which appeared to be zero, according to how many people turned me down). My point is, I believed that I had to be pretty for men. Then I realized that I liked women TOO, which irritated me because even when I came out, it saddened me that I still wasn't getting asked out (despite me supposedly having TWO TIMES the chance to find love, in my mind). In the end...I found that I identify as nonbinary. I'm agender, possibly genderfluid, because I don't understand OR want to conform to society's standards for gender (at least, in the USA). (Also, a bunch of the people I had crushes on years ago were actually insensitive jerks, but that's not the point.)

Elon Musk has said one thing that I might actually agree with. Said loosely, he asked why people are bothering to look so closely at gender when we claim that Western Civilization has come so far in terms of gender roles. Why DO people have a problem if someone who is AMAB wears a dress or a skirt? Kilts are part of Celtic culture, for both men and women. The Ancient/Classical Greek civilization that is so revered by so many countries had a garment called the chiton, a knee-length tunic worn by both men and women. Plenty of cultures throughout human history have worn ceremonial and/or optional makeup. Why DO some Americans still take issue with men teaching kids in elementary school? Is that any worse than a woman becoming President of the United States?

I was inspired to write this because of all the recent ideological and legislative attacks on human rights, specifically those of trans people and/or drag performers. I thought about the friends I have who identify as trans, and who have expressed their joy at discovering their identity. They are so relieved and happy and they have the most beautiful smiles when they detail their journeys. Their happiness isn't hurting anyone. I also thought about drag in general. I haven't been to a live drag show (yet), but I've seen the show Legendary (a dance show featuring drag, among other elements of queer culture) as well as the Netflix documentary Disclosure (a film about how trans people have historically been depicted in media). Drag is art, and for some, it's a lifestyle. It might be a kink or fetish for some people, in the same way that intercrural sex or lingerie might be. What it is NOT is a way that people commonly commit crimes--as the media has often claimed in the past, by showing AMAB "transvestite" serial killers wearing dresses to seduce their victims. It is NOT encouraging children to have sex at horribly young ages. And as many have explained, a drag queen is most definitely no more dangerous than a person (of ANY gender) purchasing an automatic weapon. If anything, seeing someone in drag perform can be an awesome learning experience for kids. They'll be exposed to a marginalized community that they may find themselves as part of as an adult. They won't grow up like I did, feeling like something is wrong with them just because they didn't know their identity existed.

I am not perfect and I do not claim to be. I had to do a lot of research to learn what I know about various communities. I still research online and ask (thoughtful) questions when members of these communities allow it. Until this year, I had no idea that some nonbinary people choose to get top surgery and/or begin hormone therapy because they like the way it helps others view them as more androgynous individuals. I did not know how much hormone therapy could cost (it's a heartbreaking reality, considering the meaning behind the whole process). I did not know that drag, something that I always saw as a fabulous form of self-expression and pure happiness, would be demonized by so many people.

I don't think this IS an opinion, but uh:

Gender Identities: woman, man, agender, nonbinary, two-spirit (term exclusive to Indigenous North Americans), etc.

Sexualities: gay, straight, queer, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, etc.

Sex: AFAB/female, AMAB/male, intersex.

People who are transgender are absolutely valid, whether or not they get and/or disclose their thoughts on personal sexual reassignment surgery. The term transgender is difficult to evaluate as a word because it's somewhere between gender identity and sex. In English, we say that someone identifies as trans, but someone who is a transwoman, for example, is someone AMAB (or possibly intersex) who identifies as a woman. But again, these people still exist and deserve just as much respect as anyone else.

No one hates people who grew up unaware of the queer community. The problem are those who hate queer people for simply being different--in essence, for those who pose a threat to the fantasy of a forever-heteronormative society that promotes unrealistic ideals.

*stuff in parentheses includes terms that you may not agree with, but it's how the mainstream media and groups I've interacted with define certain concepts. I'm sorry if the phrasing isn't perfect--despite my Master's and Bachelor's in various sections of the English Department, choosing the correct words to define feelings is still difficult.

[african-international-magazine]

PORNOGRAPHY AND MENTAL HEALTH

Why do we watch pornography? How much hours do we spend watching it? Does it make us feel happy? Do we think it is a tension relief therapy or maybe, or we take as learning media for future marital conjugation?

Golden Advice: "YOU BETTER LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP!"

Although these questions are so plain, tough and embarrassing, their focal point (pornography) and the silence surrounding it should be broken. Social institutions should talk about sexual issues to save young people from the looming danger.

No doubt that the realm of sex has been alluring human beings from ancient times upto now, and definitely, that will continue in future times. In terms of dealing with it, sex is still surrounded by some secrecy and precautions in diverse traditional communities. Though the internet era is changing our traditions, to some extent, it has worsened the situation. Internet has promotes sexual indecency so that pornography or explicit video materials are considered as normal to have. This availability of such materials has resulted in a large majority of youths relying on it for sexual pleasures as well as living their fantasies through the digital realm.

Porn and Mental Health

Countless things affect our mental health- genetics, stress, exercise, diet and even not getting enough sunshine may resulted in depression and bad mood. Many of these causes and risk factors are well known and may be incorporated into our treatment in some way. However, how much do we know about the cause of porn addiction?

Watching porn has the most devastating effects on mental health, relationships, brain functioning and depression. This is thoroughly true. It's even worse when it goes side by side with masturbation. Those caught in the porn-masturbation web should without hesitation seek professional help.

Porn and Masturbation as a form of addiction

Do we know that pornography's effect on the human brain is similar to that of drugs?

While it may seem a bit far-fetched, studies of porn-addicted brain scans conducted by the American National Institute of Mental Health have shown that people watching porn experience the same effects or pleasure that drugs give them. A neural circuit in the brain releases pleasure hormone called dopamine, especially when they sexually pleasure themselves using porn. Their usual exposure to porn does not only affect their mental abilities but also cause hindrances in their daily lives and lead them to some form of mental disorder as well.

The reward circuit of the brain of affected individuals show repeated actions and while creating please pathways where the affected brain acquire more and more of dopamine to run off. As long as this habit keep repeating itself overtime, the tendency of excessive porn watching increase too. This is a crucial sign of addiction. Your brain get used to such things.

When masturbating to pornography gives you pleasure, you are thoroughly poisoned

Masturbation is a serious poison. This self-indulgence act is defined as a physical act through which the dopamine would be released. Most teenage pornography consumers think that the idea of masturbating is natural and normal process that every human might indulges in without any problems. This where pornography subconsciously lead them, drag them blindly to the addiction cycle. As earlier discussed, repeating doing the same actions excessively leads to some form of addiction and the brain will create a lot paths of dopamine for pleasure satisfaction. At this time, the pornography addicted person will need to have the daily fix for at least some hours, which would ensure to take out of the persons daily routine besides the mental harm that illustrates in bad mood, nervous attitude, attention deficit and so on.

How to quit?

This time wasted in watching pornography could have been invested in other productive activities. Pornography and masturbation are such a prison and time consuming addictions. Quiting shouldn't be an option.A trusted way to rid yourself of a bad habit is to replace it with a good one whenever you begin to feel the urge to indulge in that bad habit. Here is what you can do:

- Accept that you have a problem and decide to leave it behind.

It is your free choice, no one will decide for you. Be brave and acknowledge that you have a problem that affects you and your loved ones. Make the decision to put an end to this vice.

- Destroy all the pornographic materials.

Get started with secure internet connections and accountability software on all your devices. As you do this, identify thoughts and behaviors that have lead you to seek out pornography. Root out these thoughts and habits and eliminate them from your repertoire. Avoid these near occasions of sin and remove them from your easy access.

- Seek help.

A Minister, a priest, and even a psychologist are the ideal people to give you support and assistance. They will understand and accompany you as you undertake this difficult path. Remember you are not alone, and you owe it to yourself to set up a support network for the best chance of success.

- Go out your comfort zone and socialize with people, be a helper and useful, do not stay still. As Pope Francis told the young pilgrims from Loreto: “… that life is to walk, it is a path. If a person does not walk and stay still, it’s no good, he does nothing.” Keep your day, held in activities such as school, sports, or spending time with other people. These activities will help you to new routines so you do not stay stuck in your addiction.

https://theafricaninternational.com/pornography-and-mental-health/

[starwriterulia]

Hey, sorry for the rant about my life that came up while I was trying to briefly explain how narrative media literally made me who I am. Yes, this happens all the time, and yes, it's exhausting to be in my head. I have no filter.

Trigger warning for discussion about my experience as a kid neglected by foster care, with a brief rundown of what happened there, which developed Reactive Attachment Disorder, which I struggle with to this day despite being medicated, and how being refused gentleness by my adoptive mom after being in her and my dad's care for a short time led to narrative media saving my younger self and teaching me what my mom and real life failed to.

I'll cut it off here so y'all can scroll past if you want to! I still feel so obtrusive and unwelcome when sharing my life story, be it with friends or in my stories.

In elementary school, I tried to understand friendship by observing how the other kids talked with each other, 'cause my mom said to watch my fellow kids. Problem is, kids are savage, and won't hesitate on that shit. My Reactive Attachment Disorder was undiagnosed until I was 19 after finally seeing a therapist and psychiatrist. My foster parents, an elderly couple in their last years of eligibility, not only fed me junk food, so I, a dwarf with recessive Robinow Syndrome, was shorter than I could have been at 5 years old, but instead of teaching me to have respect and responsibility when they wouldn't spoil me as they frequently did, they gave me Benadryl and put me in a crib, not the big girl bed. There's more to the story of how I was adopted, and I have a little brother that I didn't know about until I was adopted, who I was mean to until my mom literally slapped me, pulled my hair and called me a cow when I was fifteen, but I'll leave it there for brevity.

Reactive Attachment Disorder bears everything that I've displayed in a social setting since leaving foster care. In particular, the mood swings, out of the blue comments, and my struggle to form bonds with family and friends. I have a much better time handling my mood swings and sudden comments now, but I still feel disconnected from real people. Fictional people? Oh, well, that's home!

I try to save my anger for when I'm at home and not at work or otherwise in public. That's been going surprisingly well, with help from my boss and coworkers, as company policy is to serve the community and each other. I've learned to keep most "Where did that come from?" comments to myself, and only offer a sentence or two of relevant contributions after calculating if what I want to say is not only relevant but progressive. They do still come out, but it's now during moments of silence, and when I think it's an acceptable time. And I've become a pretty good judge at that. Holidays and barbeques with the family have been so much more pleasant since I went to therapy and got medicated. They were so stressful as a kid, and I got in trouble a lot.

Allow me to walk you through the thought process that I still get stumped on in social situations, and have been trying to display in Tomb of the Goshenite Stargazer Dragon when my self-insert has a mental health regression. Little me noticed that people interrupted each other all the time, and I was like, "What's the big deal?" Like, I was thinking about XYZ, and you were talking about ABC, and they're connected because of LMNOP! Also, I like EFG, and you like HJK, and no one talks to me because XYZ and EFG are not ABC or HJK, and I hurt that person's feelings, even though I was just trying to be friendly and honest!

I'm sorry, but Mom said "sorry" isn't enough, so I'll be quiet and stare at you. Either you walk away or I do, and then I'll go back to talking and laughing to myself. Nope, it's school time, and I'm supposed to be doing a task to learn something my brain isn't prioritizing, but I'll still do good in school so Mom won't be mad. I need to practice talking so when I go to school tomorrow I can maybe be better at this and have a friend? Kids don't forgive easily, so I give up until a nice kid gives me mercy, but I ruin that too. I already know to show interest in what they like, and I wouldn’t be trying with this person if I didn't know from listening that we both like XYZ.

The kids don't like me for being rude and selfish, but most of them are too! Can we talk about the similarities and dissimilarities of XYZ and ABC, and EFG and HJK like we do in school? Seriously, what's the big deal? Why is my mom making a stank face and lecturing me now that I'm home after getting in trouble for just trying to understand, or after having done this to my family? And now she's red faced and raising her voice while telling me I know better, when, um, you only told me what to do and why in this mean way because you figured that my foster parents' failure to teach me respect and responsibility is my fault, and that gentle parenting wasn’t worth it for me, or that I just didn't deserve gentleness after the first month or so! And now, even my dreams think you're cruel and evil!

Disclaimer: We talked about my foster parents when I got home from a group home for mental health work in early summer 2019, and we're friends now. We've become even closer since my adoptive dad died. My foster parents fucked me the shit up. My mom did the best she could with how I reacted. She cried every night she had to lecture me. And I've forgiven her.

I think I was six when I found books and other narrative media (thank you, LEGO: Batman: The Videogame and TMNT 2012 for the Wii and the film it was based on!), and it blew my mind. I finally had a passion instead of floating about, trying to like something "normal" kids liked, like Disney and cartoons. I do love comics, 2000's' nostalgia and fashion, though, and I love me some rocks, plants, animal science, volcanoes, and seismic plates! (James A. Janise voice:) THE EARTH'S MOTHA FUCKING ALIIIIIVE!! I can’t imagine what I'd be interested in without fiction since I didn't always have a toy I liked due to my mom breaking or taking them away when I had behavioural issues. English class was immediately different. I was like, "You’re telling me that you can write a story in ANY genre, and not only play in that scenario or fantasy world but demonstrate all the ways that people and relationships work?" Again, my mind was blown.

Narrative media and writing saved my little life when my mom, from my perspective, forfeit emotionally helping her adopted child that she knew something was wrong with when she and my dad picked me up, and that was after all the shit my foster parents put me through! But she didn't give up, she just had no other way of telling me "no" because my foste parents made a gentle "no" impossible. Writing and enjoying narrative media has never stopped being fun and cathartic, even if I switch what project I'm dedicating myself to every other month. Well, actually, Tomb of the Goshenite Stargazer Dragon has been my brain rot since August 2023 💀 Yes, I work on my actual novel... a fee days every other month, OOPS.

OK, rant over, thanks to anyone who bothered to read this, take care of yourselves, drink water, eat a good snack, have a lovely sleep, and find someone to talk to, byeeeee!

“how did you get into writing” girl nobody gets into writing. writing shows up one day at your door and gets into you

[drmitalisoni]

How Can You Address the Stigma Surrounding Mental Health Disorders?

Mental health disorders are becoming increasingly common, yet the stigma surrounding them remains a major barrier for those seeking help. Despite progress in awareness, misconceptions and negative attitudes often prevent people from addressing their mental health issues. This stigma not only discourages individuals from seeking treatment but also fosters shame, isolation, and a lack of understanding. To overcome this challenge, both individuals and society as a whole must actively work to break down the stigma associated with mental health. If you or a loved one is dealing with mental health concerns, consulting the best psychiatrist in Bhopal can be a vital step in getting the support you need.

Here are some effective ways to address and reduce the stigma surrounding mental health disorders:

1) Educate Yourself and Others

One of the most powerful ways to combat stigma is through education. Many misconceptions about mental health arise from a lack of understanding. By learning more about mental health disorders—such as depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia—you can help dispel myths and promote accurate information. Share what you learn with friends, family, and colleagues. The more people are educated about mental health, the less likely they are to stigmatize those who are struggling.

2) Encourage Open Conversations

Encouraging open dialogue about mental health can help normalize the conversation. Many people avoid talking about their mental health issues due to fear of judgment. By fostering an environment where mental health can be discussed without fear, individuals are more likely to seek help. Whether in the workplace, at school, or within your social circle, making mental health a part of everyday conversations helps break down the stigma. If you're unsure about how to start such conversations, a consultation with the best psychiatrist in Bhopal can guide you in navigating these discussions.

Also Read: Psychiatry Clinic in Bhopal

3) Challenge Negative Stereotypes

The media and societal norms often perpetuate stereotypes that portray people with mental health disorders as dangerous, weak, or unpredictable. It's crucial to challenge these stereotypes whenever they arise. Whether in media portrayals, casual conversations, or jokes, addressing these inaccuracies can change perceptions. Speaking up against stigmatizing language and advocating for positive representation can go a long way in reducing stigma.

4) Support Those in Need

Many people who suffer from mental health disorders feel isolated. Offering support—whether emotional or practical—can make a significant difference. Encouraging someone to seek help from the best psychiatrist in Bhopal can provide them with the care they need. Letting them know they’re not alone, and that mental health challenges are a part of life, can help reduce the shame associated with seeking help.

5) Lead by Example

If you’ve experienced mental health challenges, sharing your story can help others feel less alone. Personal testimonials humanize mental health disorders and help others see that recovery is possible. By being open about your own experiences, you contribute to breaking the cycle of stigma and encourage others to seek help.

Addressing the stigma surrounding mental health is a collective effort. By educating ourselves, encouraging open conversations, and supporting those who need help, we can create a society where mental health is treated with the same importance as physical health. If you're looking for expert help, the best psychiatrist in Bhopal can provide the guidance and treatment necessary for mental well-being.

[rileyoliviaa]

What is social media and how has it changed our society?

Social media is a double-edged sword that if you don’t know how to use, can hurt you. To me, social media can be a beautiful place where you share your thoughts and ideas with friends and family, where businesses can promote their products, or where people can go to get their minds off their everyday stresses. There's a dark side to social media that is not often advertised though, which includes lies, online bullying, cheating, and a facade that can lure you in and get you addicted. After social media was invented the rate of romantic partners cheating has gone up and how they view romantic partners has been affected. "Regarding sending flirtatious messages to someone other than a partner, 59 percent of women said this is “always cheating,” compared to only 42 percent of men. And while 70 percent of women said maintaining an online dating profile always counts as cheating, only 55 percent of men said the same." Social media is truly ruining people's perception of love due to the accessibility of everyone and anything at any time. It is not just romantic relationships social media can affect it's the ones with yourself as well, so many young girls and boys have ended their lives due to online bullying and the rate of eating disorders has gone up tremendously just since social media became popular. We have also just had a decline in children's and young adults' happiness. Social media affects younger people more because most of them don't realize that it is a game rather than real life, influencers, YouTubers, and celebrities all create a fake persona of themselves to be seen and when you see them with all of these expensive things a lot of the time there rented or given to them for red carpets but it can make teens-young adults feel less about themself because they haven't been able to achieve all that this person has at the age their at. I try not to use social media all too much for my own personal well-being but when I do I consider myself a creator because when I am on social media I am usually posting and sharing with all of my followers whether it be posts of myself or places I have enjoyed. I do believe though that social media has its good when it comes to having people's voices be heard on topics prevalent to what the world is going through or for businesses to become bigger and more popular. I believe that one of my personal strengths along with many others in my generation of truly understanding social media is that we grew up with it and watched it blossom from being an unpopular new piece of technology to a multi-billion dollar project that almost everyone has used once in their lifetime. Overall I hope to gain a bit more knowledge about how social media works, I would love to be able to learn so of the ins and outs of how social media is for my degree. The field I will be going in after college relies heavily on social media for marketing, press, etc so I would love to just be able to learn a bit more about it, so I can be prepared after college.

-Riley Darcy

[itsthenerdwonder]

I'm reminded of that post about Olympic gold medals and what qualifies. I can't find the original post, but here's a video about men's vault over the years.

Literally everything is harder now. Before it was a simple up and over, now, you cannot win gold without spinning 4 times and a perfectly stuck landing. And while this is the big leagues, this is what we're supposed to look up to. This is supposed to be the goal of the human body, to be this good. So it has a little bit of a trickle down effect.

Teenagers compete in the Olympics because their bodies can handle some of the stress better than adults. Sure, but that contributes to the idea that your life is over once you hit 30. Sports with thin athletes get more focus than those with larger athletes. Lots of people watching the runners, not so many watching the shot putters. And this DEFINITELY doesn't affect people's perceptions of how "healthy" bodies look and DEFINITELY won't encourage eating and exercise disorders in minors.

Sports is just one example of how the bar has been raised higher than most people can achieve, but I honestly don't think it's the main factor of why kids aren't allowed to be kids anymore. Genuinely, it's technology.

I hear you. I know. "These kids today and their technology." I get it.

But the technology of Evening News spreading information--good and bad--to every household with a television set. The technology of home computers streaming classes. The technology of, like @elfwreck said, personal consoles, especially the streaming library so you can just wait a little bit to get your game or movie or whatever rather than going out somewhere you're not wanted and can't afford when you can just get a bigger selection at home from your X-Box 1 or Amazon Fire Stick. GEEZ! The technology of FUCKING AMAZON SHIPPING! What use to people have for malls when it can go straight to your house?

I want to state NONE OF THESE TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEMENTS ARE INHERENTLY BAD! A whole bunch of people survived COVID with getting food or whatever shipped directly to their door instead of potentially exposing themselves and others by going to the grocer. Education backslid during COVID, but people didn't lose a full 2 or more years of education, just partial losses for classes they were distracted by or lost internet service for, but not the full thing. And, I like being able to play MY version of a video game without having to compete with L1CKMYA55 for the proper place in the quarter line. But...when everything that was a third space moves into the home...and you're only allowed to exist at home or at work/school and better not "loiter" anywhere, it makes it a lot harder to exist outside those spaces.

And those spaces are filling up with extra pressure.

The pressure to compete academically because everyone needs a college degree for the simplest jobs. The pressure to protect kids because Columbine/Parkland/Buffalo/two streets down/etc. The fact that there's not as many child or teen websites, just social media, so the pressure to perform in front of online strangers. The pressure to know everything perfectly, because google is free so why don't you just look up every question ever asked. No nuance for the fact that all learning in all of human history resets to 0 on the day you're born, you're expected to know and act like adults with 10 years job experience from day one. So, bye-bye childhood and any learning and growing that would've occurred during that time.

Not to mention the infantalization of actual legal adults and how the removal of Third Spaces and technology inserting itself in adult lives making adults work harder for less too. And...I don't know how to fix it.

Maybe this is the wrong platform to pose this question given the average tumblr user but

Is it just me or did our generation (those of is who are currently 20-30 ish) just not get the opportunity to be young in the 'standard' sense?

Like, everyone I talk to who's over 40 has all their wild stories about their teens and 20s, being young and dumb, and then I talk to my friends and coworkers and classmates, and we just... dont.

[intimate-reaper]

I used to be a part of few servers, on the clear web, no hacking or dark web or even onion, very easy to find blogs from a host called Mastodon. And from there, there were groups for people to talk about their experiences with paraphilic disorders and I mainly used it to spread general check-ins and wholesome memes. Because the Internet sucks and I wanted to have a happy safe space for people like me. Because I was really struggling to accept my thoughts and attractions, that stemmed from abuse, and the conflation that having a paraphilia meant that you were a harmful and abusive person. I never want anyone to go through the exploitation I went through - and I wasn't exploited because someone was attracted to me. I was because someone wanted to abuse their power over someone vulnerable in age and mind and situation. I probably have made a few distasteful, vague posts about wishing I could act without causing harm, or saying that I found certain physical traits attractive, without any threats (intentionally). And I obviously did not share or downplay abusive content, I kept things safe for work. I wanted support. I felt people deserved that, especially if someone who is a minor was also struggling at least seeing an adult paraphile live a happy, normal life with optimism and a support network and goals might help them. I don't have the source but most pedophiles learn they're pedophiles when they're only 14. I don't want children who are only 14 to kill themselves; it should go without saying. But I started to notice a disturbing trend of people who called themselves "pro contacts", which essentially means abusing this support platform to solicit minors for abusive activity. I don't want to go into details because it's triggering and gross, but it's pretty much just explicitly advertising that any minor can message them for sexting and that if you are a minor you are in threat of being harassed by them. I hated these people. Why would they try to take away my safe space, where I could simply have a break from being stigmatized? Where they would rather harm others? Three people who I knew from the websites, repeatedly making off-putting and dangerous rhetoric in pro contact posts... Probably more than 3, and I'm about to look through my blocklist archives... Were exposed - unsurprisingly - for sexual exploitation material. I knew this would happen. And now entire groups, entire servers are being called into question by social media and law enforcement. I'm glad I left. I hated these people. I didn't want them in my community. And the one person I respected so much, too much (parasocial, and unfortunately had to leave due to splitting/bpd), was compared to a Nazi for just... Reporting these people. Trying to keep the community I needed safe. We didn't agree on everything. I still respect that person a lot even if we don't talk. But I miss what that space could have been. I wonder if there's anything that person could have done differently or how their side of things are going. Do they still have a server, a group at all? I don't know. I don't want to ask. Obviously this situation has been stressful to learn about accidentally. I recognize these abusers. They tried to be my friends. I feel gross. It makes me hate myself even more. I feel hopeless wondering if this is how this is always going to go. No wonder people hate me so much.

[tallmantall]

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Social Media and Self-Doubt

How parents can help kids resist the pressure created by artfully curated social media feeds. Writer: Rae Jacobson Clinical Experts: Jill Emanuele, PhD , Kimberly Alexander, PsyD https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xbHq7UsozA&ab_channel=ChildMindInstitute What You'll Learn - How does social media affect teens? - What can parents do to help? - Quick Read - Full Article - Hiding imperfection - Other people’s perfection - Difficult to resist - Social media and teenagers: How to help Social media can be fun, exciting, even helpful. But for some teens, all those pictures of awesome vacations, perfect bodies, and great-looking lives can fuel self-doubt. How can parents help teenagers have a healthier relationship with their social feeds? Keeping teens from falling into the social media trap is harder than it sounds. Parents can start by taking it seriously. Social media plays a huge role in teenage life. Many teens never knew a world where social media didn’t exist. For them the things that happen online — fights, break-ups, likes, mean comments — are very real. When you talk about it with your teen, let them know you take their feelings seriously. For example you could say: “That comment was pretty mean. I’m sorry that happened. How are you feeling about it?” Encourage teens to take what they see on social media with a (large) grain of salt. Asking questions can help. For example, are their friends are really the people they seem to be online? And is your child the person they seem to be online? Why does getting likes feel good? Do they feel better or worse after looking at social media? Check in regularly and if you notice your child is feeling down, ask them if their feed is helping or harming. If you’re worried that social media is taking a toll on your child, family “unplugging” can help. That means everyone (yes, parents too) agrees not to use social media for a few days. It can help to set a goal to work towards during your detox. For example, learning to knit, or watching a series of movies as a family. Check in regularly, and notice how you feel without the social feed. If kids report feeling better, you could make the unplugging a regular thing. In the end, remind your teen that your goal is to help them feel happy and safe. Understanding how they are affected by what they choose to do, online and off, will help. “Look,” says Sasha, a 16-year-old junior in high school, scrolling slowly through her Instagram feed. “See: pretty coffee, pretty girl, cute cat, beach trip. It’s all like that. Everyone looks like they’re having the best day ever, all the time.” Magazines and advertising have long been criticized for upholding dangerously unrealistic standards of success and beauty, but at least it’s acknowledged that they are idealized. The models wearing Size 0 clothing are just that: models. And even they are made-up, retouched, and photoshopped. These days, however, the impossible standards are set much closer to home, not by celebrities and models but by classmates and friends. With social media, teens can curate their lives, and the resulting feeds read like highlight reels, showing only the best and most enviable moments while concealing efforts, struggles, and the merely ordinary aspects of day-to-day life. And there’s evidence that those images are causing distress for many kids. Sometimes, says Sasha, looking at friends’ posts “makes you feel like everyone has it together but you.” Hiding imperfection For kids experiencing anxiety or depression, carefully edited social media posts can act as a smoke screen, masking serious issues behind pretend perfection and making it harder for parents or friends to see that they need help. “It’s important to remember that just posting edited pictures online or pretending your life is a little more glamorous than it is, is not in itself a problem,” says Jill Emanuele, PhD, Senior Director of the Mood Disorders Center at the Child Mind Institute. “Social media alone is unlikely to be at the heart of the issue, but it can make a difficult situation even harder.” Teens who have created idealized online personas may feel frustrated and depressed at the gap between who they pretend to be online and who they truly are. Other people’s perfection Another, more prevalent problem, says Dr. Emanuele, is that for some teens their social feeds can become fuel for negative feelings they have about themselves. Kids struggling with self-doubt read into their friends’ images what they feel they are lacking. “Kids view social media through the lens of their own lives,” says Dr. Emanuele. “If they’re struggling to stay on top of things or suffering from low self-esteem, they’re more likely to interpret images of peers having fun as confirmation that they’re doing badly compared to their friends.” Difficult to resist Sasha and her friend Jacob, 15, agree that constant exposure to social media has had an impact on how they view their peers and themselves. “It’s like you know it isn’t making you happy,” says Jacob, referring to the pictures his friends post on Instagram. “But you still look.” Even the knowledge that these images mask serious problems doesn’t seem to alleviate the pressure they cause. “I knew a girl who had an eating disorder. We all knew it. It got so bad that she ended up going to a treatment center, but when she put pictures up of herself on the beach looking super-thin everyone liked them anyway,” says Sasha. Logically, she says, she knew the pictures weren’t current and the girl was very ill, but that didn’t stop her from feeling a twinge of jealousy. “I remember thinking ‘I wish I looked like that’ and then being horrified at myself.” Sasha also acknowledges the trouble of “liking” images that in this case provided dangerous validation. “It’s like we were saying, ‘Good job.’ ” #James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub Social media and teenagers: How to help What can parents do to help kids build a safe and reasonable relationship with social media before they’re out on their own? - Take social media seriously. Don’t underestimate the role social media plays in the lives of teenagers. Visual images are very powerful, and teenagers today, the things that happen online—slights, break-ups, likes, or negative comments—are very real. When you talk about social media make sure you’re really listening and be careful not to dismiss or minimize their experiences. - Encourage them to think outside the (crop) box. When you talk to your child about social media, encourage them to explore it in a more critical way. A great way to start is to try asking them what they think has been cropped or edited out of their friends’ “perfect” pictures and why. That can lead to larger questions. Do you think your friends are really the people they appear to be online? Are you? What is it about getting “likes” that feels good? How does looking at social media affect your mood? - Model a healthy response to failure.  Kids need to learn that it’s okay to fail. Instead of minimizing your own failures, let your kids see you being open about them and accepting them with grace. Show them that you treat failure not as something to be ashamed of, but something to learn from. - Praise (and show) effort. When your child has worked hard on something, praise her efforts no matter what the outcome. It’s also helpful to show your own efforts, especially those that don’t end in success. Being proud and open about your own work sets a powerful example for your child. - Go on a “social holiday.” If you’re worried that your child is getting too wrapped up in social media, try taking a social holiday. And if you’re asking your child to take a break, do the same yourself. You may find it just as challenging as kids do.  - Trust people, not pictures. Finally, don’t rely on social media to let you know how your child is really doing. They may post smiling selfies all day long, but if they seem unhappy or sound unhappy on the phone, don’t let it go. Make sure they know it’s safe to talk to you by encouraging them to share their feelings and supporting them when they do. Reassure them that you’re proud of them for reaching out. “I’m so glad you called. It sounds like you’re feeling really overwhelmed, I’m here and I love you. Let’s talk this through together.” In the end, as a parent you want your child to be happy and successful. But making sure they know you love them and you’re proud of them as they are — unfiltered, unedited, imperfect — will help them build confidence they need to accept themselves and stay safe and healthy when they’re out on their own. Read the full article

[theviruseye]

Anthony Chea

The Bared Psyches

TA: Rose Padilla

Extra Credit: 16 November, 2023

The Medium Matters

In his public lecture, Kids at War: Jack Kirby’s Mythology of Boyness, Charles Hatfield discusses how Jack Kirby’s boyhood is reflected in his comics during the 1940s. One thing in particular that stood out to me during his lecture is when Dr. Hatfield mentions other media. I believe that the most important thesis he presented is that “a lot of comic strips about neighborhood kids not only echoed other comic strips, but they echoed other media”. Depending on what medium is used, or what method of communication is used, the message that is interpreted can vary in the eyes of different people. In the words of Dr. Hatfield, “[comics from the 1940s] depicted violent kid gangs who fought either gangsters or the wartime enemies in frantic life or death battles”. Depending on the medium that a story is told from, the message conveyed can change drastically. In Dr. Hatfield’s depiction, these types of comics testified to social anxiety about gang culture and violence among boys. However, a child reading this comic would think that the kids are having an adventure or a mystery that they have to solve, doing so with their best friends. After investigating and analyzing McLuhan’s The Medium is the Massage earlier this semester, McLuhan states that “when you consider television’s awesome power to educate, aren’t you thankful it doesn’t” (128). The difference in how information is delivered by television compared to print can drastically change how it is perceived and understood by the receiver. Emotion, visual cues, and tonality alterations can persuade a viewer to think one way instead of another.

Along with interpreting different types of literature through different mediums, one thing that intrigued me was that Dr. Hatfield only focused on comics and not television series. Although his work mainly focuses on comics during the 1940s, I believe that interpreting the film series based on comics can unveil new discoveries that couldn’t have been seen through reading. After doing research on comics that he pointed out, comics like Superman have been adapted into films. I ponder that Dr. Hatfield might have discovered more about Jack Kirby and his life if he looked into films. One big takeaway that I got from Dr. Hatfield’s lecture is that the meaning of a piece of literature can change based on the medium that it is presented in and how we view it matters. Relating this idea to this class, the term “naked souls” is a big motif. It encapsulates what needs to be done in order to learn, understand, and interpret what different authors from different mediums want us to take away from their work. In the graphic novel, Everything is an Emergency, Jason Adam Katzenstein takes us on a rollercoaster through his mind. Having OCD(Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) throughout his life made it hard for him to live and perceive things as “normal” people would. This autobiography demonstrates that the audience has to become a black slate and allow their mind to change in order to truly understand what  Katzenstein’s life is like. He uses different mediums like pictures along with words to better describe what his life is like. Overall, Dr. Hatfield explains that comics are reflected in other mediums and that this class is about how to understand and interpret different mediums in order to learn more about what the author is trying to get the audience to understand.