#most of these are cuz of what my friend and I have done
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I guess the ultimate thing that kills CF for me - or at least nudges it away from me saying I definitively like it - is just how much Edelgard is clearly written with the player in mind before she's written with her character in mind.
Because on all of the other routes, there's a power to Edelgard's presence. Even on BE, there's a sense that for as lonely as Edelgard might be, she still ultimately will do whatever it takes for her to get what she wants. Be that be killing her citizens (or otherwise letting them be killed), endangering her friends, assisting in kidnapping people, allowing Byleth to support her only when they have the Sword of the Creator, covering for TWS - no bar is too low for her to limbo under if doing so means she's even a step closer to her goals.
She's manipulative! She's deceitful! She doesn't care for the lives of her people! Even her friends are forfeit if they try to stand in her way! And this happens no matter how close you, the player, get to her, in the case of BE - C+ ain't stoppin' Remire, and going to the coronation ain't stopping the Holy Tomb.
And in the war phase, she is dominating the field. She has the Kingdom completely on the ropes, down to a few houses standing against Imperial rule, and the Alliance is stuck in neutrality - she may not be able to do much to it, but neither can they do anything to her (to say nothing of the Alliance houses who stand with her). She's far from the underdog in this race, and she shows off how threatening she can be.
CF? Her route?
She scweams at scawy rats. She gets embawwassed when you find her dwawings. She's just so wonewy, and she's just so gwad that you chose her. She somehow fails to capture Rhea, or frame Dimitri for regicide, and so now has to deal with that on the Kingdom's side of the war. But that doesn't stop Elly Welly-kins fwom twying to find her pwecious teacher, because you're just so important to her. She cwies and hugs you when you meet her in the Goddess Tower!! Because she missed you so much!!
It's like... Dimitri and Claude certainly show different sides of themselves on their respective routes. It's the whole point! You grow closer to them and thus see how they treat those close to them, as opposed to being the Kinda Neat Teacher they see run along every now and then. But, like... Claude doesn't become a blushing maiden whenever Byleth speaks with him on VW. Dimitri doesn't scream at scary rats and get called cute for it on AM. They don't get Basic Bitch Gap Moe Traits slapped onto them that are only ever shown to the player and only on their routes. Unlike Edelgard.
Dimitri's endearing trait is that he's this big huge dude who can bench-press forests and arm-wrestle god who still wants to learn to sew and who teaches kids to protect themselves and who buys candies for his friends. Claude's endearing trait is that he's this mastermind planner who has contingency and lie and obfuscation as three separate legal government names who still wants everyone to be safe and happy and hold hands and be friends.
Edelgard is strong, confident, and willing to do some of the shittiest things known to man for her goals. Her endearing trait is that her screams are cute. She's shy about her drawings of the player character. She blushes over the player potentially joking about having sex with her per her JPN version of her C support; you know, the one about how Byleth walks in on Edelgard muttering in her sleep from a nightmare about her tortured family? Perfect time to joke about fucking her! Dimitri and Claude's endearments are, well, endearing; Edelgard's are all straight up embarrassing for her.
Hell, even the smaller stuff is affected! Claude's passion for poisons and mushrooms are things he has no qualms about having others know about, despite how weird they are. Dimitri laughing at shitty jokes brings him no personal discomfort or embarrassment, despite just how loudly he laughs at them. They have traits to them that can easily be uwu worthy, and they don't care! Of the lords, only Edelgard does! Because, it feels like, the only way for a strong, resolute female character to come off as approachable is if she's knocked down a few pegs for specifically and only you, the player.
And that sucks ass! I'm sorry, but when I'm playing Edelgard's route I don't want to deal with her hiding herself away in her room for a month IN THE MIDDLE OF HER FUCKING WAR because she's just so embawwassed! It is so fucking insensitive that Edelgard is literally the only lord of the three who can have her trauma openly belittled at any point in the story by Byleth, all to have some cheap cutesy uwu moment about her fear of rats (calling her screaming in fear cute and INSISTING that it's really cute which is just. Fucking ew man)! Why can we fucking mock Edelgard's manner of speech during the MASSACRE OF REMIRE?
This shit doesn't happen to Claude or Dimitri! And saying "oh just don't pick those options then" is bullshit because no equivalent options exist for the male lords! It's piss-boilingly annoying that the second you choose to see things from the strong confident villainous ambitious female lord's perspective you can reduce her down to this bumbling moeblob just for you (sometimes unavoidably!) like!! Dude!
#legit not even sure what to tag this because for once I'm going to bat for Edelgard LMAO her writing treats her BAD when it comes to this#this is also a huge thing that fucks me off from liking Edel/eth because Byleth can be SUCH a huge fucking dick to her for no reason#and can be UNIQUELY mean to her for no reason. off the cuff i can't think of another character you can have Byleth act like this to#and most of this shit is well before Byleth as a character has any real reason to actively dislike her so they're just.#bullying Edelgard for fun?? I guess??#among uh. other reasons the ship doesn't exactly Work Out lmao#but yeah for CF it really REALLY brings down my ability to enjoy it fully despite me REALLY wanting to#because it encapsulates just how like. shallowly Edelgard can be written?#because it's not just that no character can meaningfully react to everything she's done (though that is a huge factor too)#but also as SOON as the writing wants you to REALLY like her it goes out of its way to diminish her powerful presence and UwU her#and not to say that she doesn't have her powerful moments - she does! and they're really great to see!#but that her cutesy moments stand out SO much BECAUSE the other two lords very noticeably have nothing akin to that for them#like. you can't jokingly call Claude a loser for having no friends growing up due to the racism he faced#you can't pretend to be one of voices Dimitri hears to fuck with him#you straight up CANNOT joke about their trauma which like. duh?? why would you??#but Edelgard just woke up from a horrible nightmare and that's just the perfect setup for a sex joke#and it's perfectly fine to joke about forgetting what Edelgard said about her trauma she opened up to them about cuz ''she said to forget''#and it's a-okay for Byleth to brush off her opening up about why she has a rat phobia to embarrass her over drawing them#WHY CAN YOU DO THIS. or better yet WHY *CAN'T* YOU DO THIS TO THE OTHER TWO.#it is just so brazenly sexist and i hate it every time i think about it 😭
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Ty for 400!
It may be 1:30am, but honestly, I just felt like I wanted to write this. Thank you for 400 followers!! That's crazy. I'm super thankful, and honestly, it means a lot to me! <3 super excited for more to come, I hope my moodboards rn are up to standards!
I'm not tagging anyone this time since I don't want to disturb everyone every time I write one of these. Just know all my mooties and idols r amazing, and I love them. You guys know who you are, ily 💕
Just a boring text post for this milestone post cuz I can't be bothered rn ahh
Teeny Itty bitty vent in tags since I can't get my life tghtr rn erm! Don't feel pressured to read it, idrc ig?? 😭😭
#lil vent i will most def regret in the morning#im not quitting just tired ig? social media and my lack of motivation r just dragging me thru the mud brutally and thats why im slow postin#i literally cannot handle seeing pepple from discord that despise me from when i used to gossip and a bunch of stuff on there#im gonna prob delete the song req stuff in my inbox. im so done w it. js like the event prizes#i want to still provide the full prizes#but its so much work and im unmotivated so ill do it eventually :(#i dont rlly think ill makr an event anyrime soon cuz it kind sucks aaahh#my moots nd friends on here the only reason i havent quit bc im burnt out by myself i only live off the interactions i have on here#i dont know what else to say i just wanna like forget any accounts on anywhere from me every existed cuz im not a good decision maker at al#i'll be normal in the morning probably hahaaha#tysm for the support anyway
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hey guys just graduated
#finally glad to be done with exams and do fuck all#tbh i think the only thing ill miss is seeing my friends on a daily basis and always having someone to talk to... lets see if i can maintai#these friendships.... also i have No Idea what im gonna do in uni bro i just want the freedom tbfh like i just keep avoiding researching ab#courses and shit cuz it makes my head explode. basically the 2 major unis in my city r basically the same in my head like uni a) is more#prestigious thus conservative but is more accessible and i like their offering better but uni b) atmosphere is much more relaxed#and the campus is really well planned out < guy who loves urban planning#only issue its like 2hrs via pt like ill die. also this is btw if i get into these schools#bruhh uni is lowkey a scam only like 24 weeks of school and debt. anyway#i wanna get my p plate this summer (i have not driven once) also most of my friends r going overseas (i wish that were meeeeee)#i can finally catch up on new music loonaurrrr also its my bday soon. hope u guys enjoyed this life update
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solemn vow to never be complacent or meek around things i feel strongly about again — to at least start the conversation even if i don’t have the words to talk back exactly to a poisonous idea — in kind, to pick up the thread if someone else does the same — tired of letting evil shit unfold —
#honestly this mostly only happens because of my disability which. i've been dreaming/reading about navigating that in ways feel better#or else because im scared of violence as a trans woman but i’m sick of fear of violence making me passive#rarely because i got scared in the crosshairs of financial insecurity and feared losing work#but that is what im parsing this time and very determined not to let that happen ever again#cuz like. having the supposed 'non-action' of passivity even available to you is a privilege of whiteness#in this case it was taking a creative-side gig on a play that felt very clear the playwright had given very little if any consideration#to nonwhite perspectives like clearly by a white person thinking about a white audience kinda liberal politics#and i took it bc my friend's mentor was directing and she put us in touch and spoke highly of him#and she's indigenous and very willing to call out white bullshit so i had some hope/trust that he would push it more#and he........ did at least cast a latino actor in the one role that would have made the play horrifically racist#if it had been cast as a white person but that felt like doing the absolute least to me#im still very much figuring this world out#understanding the ethics of theater work and im glad i did this in that regard#cuz like. i didn't fully realize that my only real chance to make a creative + ethical statement was right out the gate in accepting the gi#as an SM like... there's really no other chance to have an opinion so i should not take work if the script doesn't align w my ethics#and use that rejection as a chance to make it clear what's fucked up#...if i even ever SM again that was the most stressful gig i've ever done and i didn't even get paid for it. fuck#sorry for writing half the post in the tags. if ur reading this ur too close >O< jk haaiiii thx for reading my diary#very much a 'i am thinking through these concepts still and ur welcome to share ur thoughts on them' kinda post
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- 🍙 anon
:>
#Trying to do some schoolwork rn but I keep distracting myself by searching up symptoms of executive dysfunction#And then proceed to think “maybe that’s what I have cuz it says it’s not synonymous with ADHD” but then I#Remembered I like daydream a lot and my mind wanders when people talk and etc#And idk this past month or month and a half I’m slowly descending into the knowledge that even if I do have adhd I may not ever get#The opportunity to try and test for it cuz it’s expensive and what if it’s all for nothing even though my brother has adhd and my other#Brother was diagnosed with ADD back when it was a thing and it feels like every week I’m discovering a knew symptom I have and I’m losing#My marbles but the fact I knew how many I had by NUMBER means I know exactly how many I’m losing which makes it even more maddening#And I’m so sorry for the rant#I’m emotionally okay. I promise 😭#I just haven’t brought this stuff up to you before#Probably because I’m afraid of getting online diagnosed by my friends#But at the same time it’d be so hilarious if the ONE person who was neurotypical in our friend group turned out to be neurodivergent too#But I also feel like I’m stepping into your guys’ territory because what if I just feel like a fake. What if what I’m feeling is just me#Having a terrible neurotypical brain that just hates me#And then I know that my procrastination and me feeling like I can’t get started on a task is actually because I’m not trying hard enough#Not because of a neurodevelopmental disorder#Sorry that was a lot#I’m just feeling slightly stressed because I want to get some schoolwork done#But recently I’ve been struggling trying to get started on it#Most of the time I’m okay (when it’s outside of stuff I want to do)#Anyways how have you been? 😅
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ok stupid angst time cuz its 2:30 in the morning and i feel like shit
so. like technically two days ago i passed out at the sight of my own blood, took a header into the corner of a marble table, and couldn’t move my hands or face properly for ten or twenty minutes.
i didn’t go to the hospital. i feel like that was probably a hospital worthy event. maybe i’m stupid. but since then i have felt like shittttt and i’m kinda worried. my hands feel weirdly sluggish, my mouth hurts, my head has been hurting constantly. i just don’t know how to tell my parents, because it feels stupid.
i just. yeah. whatever. everything hurts and i’m worried, considering according to my mom i hit my TEMPLE on the CORNER OF A TABLE (there’s a huge ass bump there and everything) and my dad just kind of. casually offered the idea that maybe i sprained my wrist. and then didn’t say anything else. i was dissociating so hard (and still am) that i’m still debating if it was even real.
of course it’s real. i have an entire fucking bump on my head. there’s a scab on my hand. i just. i hate it here. i’m scared.
what everrrrrr man. stares off out my window or something
#never done vent shit before losing my mind#weird kinda situation here where i dont want anyone to acknowledge this#cuz i dont wanna TALK about my stupid dumb ass teenage issues#when most of my online friends are like. grownups with actual problems#but also. i rlly just want someone to be like#hey man. saw ur post. love ya. mwah mwah#or something#cuz. yeah.#idk. hate it here. i wanna die. not really.#wanna cut myself#probably wont#cuz i’m a fucking coward#but you knowwwwwwwwwww#what ever. sighs.#nobody look at or acknowledge this. but also do. i dont wanna talk about it#but i also do. but also. attention seekinggggggggg#i first posted this on my like fandom blog before remembering i had a private#so it’s on here now.#i just.#yeah idk i’m having a shit time rn#thats what happens when you pass out and crack ur head on a table apparently#someone take me out back and shoot me like old yeller or whatever#but also just send me a 🫂❤️#DON’T OH MY GOD THAT SOUNDS SO PATHETICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
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man wish I could hang out with one guy more than once without my parents insinuating shit
#Cuz like I’m going to watch a movie with a friend of mine and almost every time I ask “hey can I hang out with this guy?” They’ll (jokingly?#Idrk atp) say like “what’s up with him” or like “what is he to you” like shut UPPPP.#like let me be friends with guys#Like I do what most teenagers do!! And lie!!! About ONEEEE relationship and all of a sudden anyone I know and hang out with like twice#A fucking month is suddenly a possible romantic partner#Not to mention how much it fucking hurts to like be completely alone atm being single fucking sucks#I fucking hate this and atp I wanna cancel despite having just made the plans because my parents always make me feel weird with their stupi#Fucking jokes and I just fucking hate romance in general sometimes all it’s done is screw me over fuck that#Sorry I needed to like rant cuz I keep like not talking about these things and then it comes to haunt me when I do#Smth like that I don’t fucking know#Vent#ish ?? Didn’t start as one but it is now
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I love your work so much and it makes me feel a certain way <33 BUTT im here to request something that I've been looking for ����🏽
Toji x Fan-Fiction-Writer ! Reader? I'll get on my knees if required 🫶🏽
𝐅𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐃𝐢𝐜(𝐤)𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧!! | tōji fushiguro
𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: You know, some things are just not meant to be shared, such as fanfiction writing. And how the hell did your boyfriend, of all people, come to be the one to question you about your hobbies? You tell me, you dirty little writer…
𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: Toji x fem fanfic writer! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - modern au! - the reader is mid/late 20s; Toji's in his mid-30s - humor - fingering (f! receiving) - oral (f! receiving) - clitoral play (licking, sucking and swiping) - deep impact position - degradation (slut, whore) - use of "Daddy" title - praise + humiliation - spitting - cervix fucking - little bit of rough sex - unprotected sex (psa: wrap the willy; don't be silly) - pet names (baby, cupcake, good girl, mama, princess, sweetheart, sweetie) - aftercare; taking a bath together - usage of a phone; erotic literature/writing - Toji teasing you to no end, the bastard, lol - reader wears glasses cuz why not, hehe - mention of drool/spit.
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 5k (bless up)
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: bro. this idea cooked so bad, i just HAD to make a fic for it, lmao!! apologies for doing this months late, hope I did the prompt justice, and ty for loving my works~☆
“Nooo, stop, Toji, give it back!”
“Hold on, baby, hold on…Phew, who knew ya liked wrtin’ dirty shit like this? The fuck is ‘pet play—��”
“Oh my God, stop it!”
This had to be, undoubtedly, the worst day of your life.
If there’s one thing every human being on Earth has in common, it’s their love for the weekends. They’re amazing — have two whole days to retreat and relinquish the turmoil and stress after five days straight. They’re the days when you can choose whichever activity you want to enjoy your leisure.
Some people catch up on sleep, others watch a show or try to cook up a new dish, and some go outside and hang out with friends. But then there are those weekdays where it’s satisfying enough to spend your day inside the comfort of your home, delighting in a hobby.
The hobby you chose to indulge in this weekend was writing. And right at this moment, you regret it being the activity you selected.
Why? For one, it wasn’t just any type of writing, like journalling or poetry. No, no; if it were, things would be easier for you to deal with now. Nope, it was fan fiction writing. The type of writing you’ve known since middle school and decided to jump in and try for about a year. What started as a curiosity turned out to be a hobby that took up your infatuation to the maximum level: writing pieces every night, taking up requests from your following over six thousand followers, and serving as an outlet to project your fantasies onto the Internet.
What type of fantasies, you might ask? The type you read in a room by yourself or in the corner away from prying eyes, under a blanket with your phone exhibiting the dark secrets that corrupt your mind, or the type that only could be accepted on the Internet and not from the judgmental looks of those in the real world.
But, most certainly, not the type of fantasies you wanted your boyfriend to see!
“Toji, please, give my computer back!”
“Nah, hold on; I wanna see this…Oh, what a title; ‘Fuck Me, Rail Me, Use Me, Daddy—‘“
“TOJI, STOP!”
Perhaps writing fan fiction with your boyfriend occupying your apartment wasn’t the best idea. But you wanted to get a draft don’t by the end of this weekend, and you were almost done with it. You were typing up a storm in your bedroom, sitting at your desk while your man, Toji Fushiguro, was doing at-home exercises in your living room.
And you could’ve sworn you had locked your computer before going to the bathroom. All you know is that after flushing and washing your hands, you opened your bedroom door to a horrifying sight: Toji, sweaty from his routine in his sweats and wife beater, holding up your laptop that showed the exact draft that you were working on! No, no, NO! You almost tripped dashing to take the device, but the older man was too quick and effortlessly dodged your attempts while still reading the material. And now you know why you are hopping around your room trying to catch the man and stop him from reading more of your stuff.
Spoiler alert: your efforts were beyond futile, huffing and puffing in complete defeat on your bed. Your boyfriend was sitting beside you, still reading aloud while scrolling through your drafts, to your dismay. Your ears and cheeks harbored an unbearable heat that you could cry at any second, and you covered your face in case it were to happen. God, please kill me now!
“Jesus fuckin’ Christ, how many of these shits have you written?” Toji inquires, his forest green eyes scanning every draft as if the list were endless. “How long have you been doin’ this?”
“For…a while.” You can barely muster the confidence to utter an adequate response. How could I have forgotten to lock my damn computer?!
“How long’s a while?”
“Uhhh, a…a year?”
The silence was pinching your skin enough, but you don’t know if you preferred it over the next thing he said. “Wow, who would’ve thought my sweet angel was a dirty lil’ thing writing filth like this?” Oh, you wanted nothing more than to crawl into a hole and die. You can practically sense the smirk on his stupid, handsome face, pulling the scar off his lip! And it hurts your being that he laughs at you grabbing a pillow to scream into oblivion. “What a horny minx.”
You removed the pillow to tell him off. “It’s not all my fault! Most of those aren’t even my ideas; some of my followers asked me to write—“
“Followers?” God, would it have killed you to shut up? “So you got people readin’ your stuff?”
Downcast eyes to avoid his surveying ones, “W–Well, yes…People like how I write, so I…..Write whatever they ask me.”
“Oh, wow,” raven eyebrows lift while looking at the screen, flipping through the notes of your drafts to your blog with your completed works. “So over a hundred freaks like how freaky you write.”
“Hey, d–don’t say it like that!”
“Oh really?” You didn’t like how he said that, nor when he pulled up one of your drafts to read. “… ’You spread your legs on instinct as she sucks on your chest, and the woman takes the initiative by sliding a hand down to your—‘“
“Stop, stop, STOP!” You sit upright and try again to take the computer away from him, but Toji swiftly moves to the bedroom floor. Fuck! It was hopeless, so you groan in exasperation. “Quit it, Toji; you had your fun, so give it back!”
He didn’t think so; finding something new about you made him curious to no bounds. And for it to be a bit of a suggestive side of you? Oh, how ashamed you were of him finding this out tickled him. “Damn, there’s so much on here…Have you ever written ‘bout shit we’ve done?”
You couldn’t believe he asked you that question — you couldn’t believe you were in this situation at all! Are you serious ”—ly asking me that?!?”
“I’m not hearin’ a ‘yes’ or ‘no.’” Now, this is just diving into a more profound level of embarrassment than you could handle. “Did’ya?”
“……………yes.”
“Wait, fr’ real?! Which ones?”
“I’m not telling you! Just give me my laptop—“
“Hell nah,” his elbow is strong enough to keep you at bay—how pathetic on your part being treated like a kid. “I’m curious to see what my lil’ sweetheart is tellin’ strangers ‘bout how we do our business—“
“I’m not telling them anything!!” You retort. “I-I just use our experience as a means of…references when I’m writing,” thumbs find themselves fidgeting together. “It…It helps when I don’t know how to describe a feeling, or….what it’s like during certain…..positions.” Was the room getting stuffy, or were you shrinking under the growing pressure of every word coming out of your mouth? Who knows.
“Is there stuff y’ve written before that you’d like fr’ us to try?” Oh, for fuck’s sake, this was too much, bringing your –his– hoodie up to shield you from this predicament. And it only worsens when he stares your way, having you close up the hoodie by the drawstrings and collapse to his shoulder. Toji chuckles at your routing self, wrapping an arm around you. “Can’t even be honest fr’ a second.”
“Toji, pleaseeee,” whining doesn’t help, the older man moving the laptop out of your lazy attempt to retrieve it. “Give it baaack…!”
“Nnm, nnm, don’t wanna,” he places the device away to the ground and takes your hand with his. “Now I gotta read what weird shit you’ve been keepin’ ‘way from me.”
You shake your head frantically. “Please don’t! Don’t you think you’ve tormented me enough today?”
“Now, why would I ever get tired of fucking with ya?” The smirk on his face is still present after you open the hoodie to sneak a glare. “Shoulda thought ‘bout that and locked y’r laptop screen.”
“You’re such a fucking asshole…” his laugh at your words only proves your point, and you bury your face in his chest. This entire thing was so outrageous. How in the world were you this dumb enough not to double-check to make sure your computer was locked from prying eyes? What an amateurish move! Not even your closest friends know that you write fanfiction, so to have your boyfriend be the one to not only find out but bombard you with questions about your secret hobby is nothing short of humiliating. It can’t get any worse than this…
…Or so you thought.
“Hey,” you perk up to look at Toji. “You said ya got followers askin’ ya what they want you to write, right?” You nod meekly, twirling your thumbs with the bottom of your shirt. “Show me some.”
Appalled, you gawk, “Wh–why would I—”
“I know you have favorites from the hundreds I’ve been looking at for the past five minutes. So, are ya gonna show ‘em to me, or am I gonna have to read every single one to find out?”He didn’t show interest in returning the laptop to you even after asking the question. “Oh, don’t look at me like that, baby; I bet ya can look it up on y’r phone or somethin’.”
Your pout deepens in defeat as you begrudgingly stuff a hand inside the pocket of your leggings to pull out your phone to click on an app. Your thumb clicks and scrolls for a few seconds before you peer to him and say, “…I do have some favorites.”
Jesus, it hurt to admit that to someone, especially with your him of all people, who is without a doubt getting an absolute kick out of this, the fucking bastard! This was beyond embarrassing; nothing could ever top this moment. Indeed, there is nothing else he could have done that could have made this predicament any worse than it already is. At least that’s what you tell yourself to cope because Toji’s grin on his face says otherwise. And what he says afterward makes your blood shift to ice.
“Why don’t ya read ‘em to me.”
Yup, you were killing yourself tonight.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
“Go on; read that short one fr’ me.”
“Ahh—…Hahhh, ‘Sitting here and thinking…about your faves…Mmmm.”
For some reason, this felt so. Fucking. Wrong!
You already knew it was a bad idea for you to read your works to your boyfriend at his request. However, to be fulfilling said wish in this manner? The mortification had your ears ringing a thousandfold.
How would you have foreseen this yourself, face stuffed to the pillow with your phone held up by your right hand with your legs spread up and your bottom propped up? Who the hell reads like this?! And on top of that, your boyfriend is alongside you, his body behind you. The inability to see what he’s doing arises uneasiness in the soul, quivers sneaking up as you feel the rough pads of his fingertips greet the skin of your ass after sneaking inside the oversized hoodie.
Breath hitches at the slide of your panties, coming down for his hands to grope the flesh wholly. “To..ji…” his name leaves in shakes.
“C’mon, baby,” you swallow thickly at the cupping of your chasm. Toji chuckles at the twitch felt on his palm, “Read it properly, yeah? Word for word.”
Oh, fuck, your brows trench together. “T…’Thinking about your faves pleasing you from behind. He knows he has to tease you a bit—Tmmm,” his lightly hits your butt. “‘B-By massaging your ass with his strong hands,” he does so, kneading your ass skillfully that has you involuntarily purring to his touch. “…’Keeping you still and relaxed so he can later feel you with his fingers and—“ his forefinger and middle slowly come from your clit to the entrance, biting your lips. “Nhhmm, hahhh.”
“Go on,” Toji scolds, the middle digit sliding up and down with a faint push. Your back quakes to the touch, fingers gripping the pillow. “What else is y’r fav doing?”
You inhale. “Mmmm…’and circle one of them around to warm you up—‘“ spit gulped down again when Toji’s digit did the exact thing as told. “‘And then, when he knows you’re ready for him, he sneaks them insi—‘ Aaaiiii!” His middle finger is shoved into your vagina, and your toes instantly curl before he pushes the rest ever so slowly. “Oh! Ohhh, fuck…’He…then comes to your shoulder and says to your ear to make you tingle…”
“…’Stay still, sweetie,’” woah. You were not expecting that; you were too focused on trying to read your words, and Toji bending to your ear to read his part wasn’t noticed at all. You only hope he didn’t catch the clasp of your vaginal walls around his finger (he most definitely did), hoping the soft chortle meant nothing. “‘Gonna let me make y’ feel good, yeah?’” Jesus Christ, his gruff voice relayed this so intimately to your eardrums that your heart was beating too hard.
Toji’s finger goes faster, nearly having you almost drop your phone. Your face smooshes to the pillow from the scrape of his fingertip, biting on the pillowcase as he puts in the other finger. He whispers to your ear to keep going; unbelievable…So you lift your head and try. “J-J…’Just thinking about how easy he could make you cum—Mmmph! Wi-With his fingersss…scratching and rubbing your insides so precisely until you’re practically begging to mess his hand up’…”
“Oh, fr’ real?” The perk of his tone makes you anxious. “Well, don’ mind if I do.”
The pace of his ring and middle finger increase, and you gasp sharply. The onslaught of rubs to your inner channel is enough to have your lower half writhe despite Toji keeping your legs grounded with his single one. Oh, fucking Christ, your glasses up to your smooshed cheeks the more you try to conceal your cries, proven to be trivial as the seconds go by.
“Aww, whaddaya think y’re doin’?” He coos with a kiss to your nape; you nearly shut down. His free hand takes your phone, “Tryin’ to hide that cute voice of y’rs from me? Fuck that,” he then removes his digits from your chasm as you yelp and makes you flip to your back. Oh, fuck no! Your hands go to cover your face—nope, Toji is quick to move them away. “Lemme see you, mama…Now, let’s see what else you should read fr’ me.” He swipes your phone screen, “This too wordy, this long as fuck—goddamn, baby; you writin’ whole ass novels or somethin’?”
“Shut up,” you reply as your legs move, and Toji’s left hand removes your undies.
“Ah, this one!” He hands you back your cellular device. Your eyes catch the first sentence, and your face morphs into dread before staring back at him to meet his grin. “Go ‘head,” he says cooly, spreading your legs by the knees.
“…’Picture this: your favorite coming to your room and seeing you on your bed and striding to you to taste you,” you inhale deeply at the blow of air on your wet southern folds. “‘He crawls up to you while you’re busy scrolling on the phone, busying himself with placing kisses to your stomach and down to your undies. He’ll then take them off and spread your legs for him, greeting your privates with his ton’—Ghhh…!” Toji licks your slit leisurely; you gulp at the muscle perching between the lips of your labia. “Hahhh, shit…’The smell and taste of you are so inviting he can barely keep it together, virtually inching to stuff his face with your pussy. He kisses it, lips petting your clit,’” he does so, and you chew your bottom lip. “‘Then his tongue goes excruciatingly slow to e-explore your folds,” your exhale is shaky as Toji’s tongue laps and swirls; fuck, I can’t do this…
The older man, on the other hand, flips a switch and goes to town. You knew this was a bad idea; if there’s one thing Toji loved doing more than fucking your cunt, it’s eating it out. He pushes your legs up by the knees for easier access, the angle perfect for him to propel his mouth onto your entrance. You shriek, his nose frequently grinding the hood of your cunt as his scarred lips and tongue suck and lick you feverishly.
“—Tahhh! Ohhhshit, no…!” You cry, throwing your head back to the pillow. “Ahhnn, Tojiii, stop…not too fast—Oooh!”
He spits, mixing his saliva with your slick as he laves. “Mmmph, shit, taste ’o good,” Toji pushes his face further as he sucks on your clit, and you nearly choke on your sob. “Yeah, yeah, let ‘em out; scream like a real whore.” You jerk, but his hands firmly keep you down. “Keep goin’, cupcake, finish y’r reading.”
“Khhh, God, I can’t,” you gulp when emerald eyes peer toward you. “…’Before long, he’s too overwhelmed by you that he can’t take it anymore, stuffing his face between your legs and having you cry out his name in prayers—your phone is no longer a priority.’” Jesus, you can hear his grunts along with the lascivious sounds coming from below; he’s so fucking turned on. “‘Now he has your attention, playing with your…pussy like a toy just to hear you squeak.”
“Fuck yeah,” he groans as he sticks his fore and middle digits into you. Fingers go to and fro frantically, and your free hand grabs his raven hair. “Christ, y’ sound so fuckin’ hot. More, gimme more,” a long and harsh kiss to your clit makes you want to arch so bad. “Good girl, good fuckin’ girl…”
You hiss at the graze of your vagina; keeping your eyes open is hard to do. Lips go agape, and your noises fly out with no restraint. Your legs tremble, impending in a wish to close from the curl of Toji’s fingers. Your senses become too keen, your nerves heightening with every massage of your walls, lick and slurp of your slick and clit.
“Ohooo, nhhmm, fuck, Tojiiii,” another suck to your clit has you grip the sheets. “Stooop, please; I’m gonna cumm…!”
However, your boyfriend has another idea in his head. “Oh no, you don’t, princess,” his fingers leave you hurriedly with a squeal. He yanks for your phone once more to find yet another piece of yours for you to read, giving you so little time to recuperate. Until he scoffs with a smirk, “Ohh, read this one aloud next.”
You take the device returned to you cautiously, scanning the first few words that catch your eye. Curiosity snaps to apprehension, “W-wait, no, please!” Begging won’t work, but it doesn’t hurt to try. “Please, Toji, look for some—“
“Aht, aht,” the click of the tongue shuts you. “C’mon, sweetheart, that ain’t what y’re callin’ y’r fav right now.” He squeezes your thigh, “What’s my name?”
“Toji, pleas—“
“Mm, mm,” he pinches you, a warning. “Try again.”
Excitement Nervousness flicker through your soul, breathing tardily as you muster to answer. “Sorry…Daddy.” The title burnt your tongue when it left your mouth, and the smile lifted Toji’s scar even more.
“Good,” he praises. “Now read.”
“…One of my followers asked about writing a post about deep impact, so it’s—“
“Deep impact?” He questions while spreading your legs. “The hell’s that?”
“I-It’s a, uhh,” you push up your glasses. “A position where you…kinda, like, sit on one of my legs and lift the other to your shoulder.”
Black eyebrows rise. “Ohhh, somethin’ like this, huh?” Sturdy hands find your ankle and lift your leg to his shoulder, and Toji then moves to have your other leg in between his. Your lips flatten when the groin of his pants—aka, the pitched tent–touches your hole. He whistles, “Oh, now I got a new favorite to add fr’ later.” His words aren’t meant to jest, so you frown as he snickers. “Alright, what did you write for this?”
You lick your lips; why? Toji uses his free hand to bring his sweats down, not surprised by the lack of underwear as his erection springs out. His cock is standing and ready for you, the precum oozing out alluring your eyes and your lip bitten by excited teeth. Of course, your vagina is clenching to a void—anticipation is a hell of a drug affecting your entire figure.
“Don’t get too distracted, mama,” he caught you eyeing him, lifting the hem of his wife’s beater to bite down on. Your ears and cheeks scorched at the sight of his abs and torso. “Read those words.”
Your gaze flickers to your phone while Toji lines his dick to your entrance, a gulp at the kiss of his glans and your inner labia. “…’Daddy has you propped in a deep impact, a position catered to mutual pleasure and closeness. He taps you with the tip to have you excited, then slowly pushes himself into your—Mmfff!…y-your warmth,” reminding yourself to maintain a steady breath; Toji pushes his cockhead into your slick as you’re distracted. A few seconds fly by, and he slips right in; a gasp exiting your puffy lips indicates so. “‘H–He gently shoves every inch and stretches you out,’” his girth is lethal, your eyes rolling up the further his tip goes, scrapping your texture and your opening suiting for his length. “‘A-And, it feels so good to have him making you full and good’—Hoohh?!?”
That’s it, that’s what you were anxious about—you felt the jab of his tip on your cervix. You freeze instantly, too shocked to breathe as the hit was spontaneous. Your body locks down for a quick second to process what happened.
Toji notices your tightened grip and hisses, “Fffuuckin, shit…! So tight,” his hips go sluggish, and you feel his veins and shaft brush nicely with your insides. You sneak a glance at his flashed abdomen; the flex of his abs as he pushes his pelvis in waves is a sight to see–enough to put you in a trance.
You continue. “‘His hip work is pleasuring, having you wail and cry out f-for more…the sensation of Daddy’s dick venturing inside and hitting your sweet spots is enough to make your toes curl—Nhhaaa…”
He can sense you gripping on him more; fuck, it feels so good. His thrusts go a little faster, forming a minimal medium. You exhale through your nostrils at the change of pace, and grazes against your walls become periodic and long-lasting the deeper he goes.
“Daaah, ahhh, f-fuuck,” you whimper aloud. “Tojiii, y’ feel so g—Nnnmm!?!“ You nearly swallow your tongue from the sudden pound of him, the rub of your G-spot too abrupt to predict.
“Who?” God, you know he’s getting a good kick out of this, the fucker. He pushes his cock to the hilt, and it takes everything in your power not to babble from the overwhelming intensity.
“Daddy, daddyyy, don’t…!” Correcting yourself as his fingers dance around your unattended clit. “I’m sorry, you just feel so good..”
That��s more like it. “Good girl,” he bends closer, his knees spreading further apart. He pushes the leg on his shoulder so that the angle is plausible for him to rut harder. You shriek and squirm to his enjoyment, “Keep readin’.”
“‘Y-…You’re cries become more shameful the harder and faster he goes,” Toji stimulates for a harsher pound; another hit to your cervix has you winded. Despite your gasping for air, he doesn’t relent, and you jerk to undulate to another poke. “Sh-shiiit, Jesusss…! ‘He pistons so hard, so deep, it’s difficult even to think straight when all you can think is—‘“ a choked sob from a slow pull before a devious snap of the hips. “A-All you c–an think…Ahahh!” Another nudge to your G-spot; this is so hellish!
The culprit scoffs softly. “Think ‘bout what, baby?” He swipes and pinches your clit to have you jolt and whine. “Tell Daddy the rest.”
Fuck, I can’t take it anymore! The phone slips your hand, barely missing your head. “Daddyyy, I can’t!”
“Why? What’s wrong?” Another pinch to the bud pairs with a poke to your delicate womb. Oh, he’s such a dick! “Don’t wanna read fr’ me?” He chuckles aloud at you shaking your head ‘no’. “Why’s that?”
“C-Cuz, if you keep going, I’ll,” a head thrown back at another nip on your clitoris. “Ahh, I-I’ll…!” Shit, you can feel it, the climb rocking your bones to entail your soon climax.
“What? Ya wanna cum on Daddy’s dick instead of readin’ like a sweetheart,” don’t believe the words; his faux disappointment doesn’t match the merciless thrusts and the devilish grin. “Wanna act like a whole slut and cum on me?”
“Yesss, yes, pleasee!!” You don’t care anymore; you want to let it out. “Please, Daddyyy, I wanna cummm!!”
“Heh, what a nasty girl you are—Nnnmm! Fuck, just milkin’ me dry, beggin’ fr’ it, huh?” The same fingers he used to play with your clit come to your lips to shove inside, forcing you to taste yourself. “Go ‘head, mama; let y’rself go, be the slut you really are…Hahhh, shit, c’mere,” he grabs for both your wrists with his free hand after taking off your glasses and propels you towards him at the same time as he pounds. Holy fuck, this position was getting rougher, pulling you in and hitting your cervix with accurate hits that you’re whining and twitching. Fuck, fuck, fuuuuck! It’s too much, it’s all too much to bear, so it’s no wonder you climax in seconds.
You cry with the breach of your crescendo, your inner muscles contracting around the cock, hitting your womb. Your nerves are now peaked as the air is sensitive to your skin, and you feel so out of breath, everything happening all at once that you can’t keep up as you thank Toji in babbled prayers, still sucking on his fingers as your vagina flutters and coats him of your essence.
“Good job, cupcake,” he comes closer and removes his digits. “Can’t beat the real thing, right?” He cups and massages your cheeks before spitting into your mouth.
You don’t even flinch, too fucked out to even care, just moaning to his lips as he brings you in for a passionate kiss as his hips keep going until he’s done and satisfied…
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
“Ughhh, I can’t believe I just did that…”
“Pfft quit whinin’. Don’t act like ya didn’t enjoy it.”
“I hate you so fucking much, you know that?”
“Whatever y’ say, Ms. Novelist.” You grumble at the name before he brings the washcloth to wipe down your neck.
You and Toji were now in the bathroom, your nude bodies squished together, with the warm water cleansing you both. Hair and skin damp, your back meshed to his front as you sit between his legs. The soft yellow lighting basks the bathroom with a warm glow as you two bathe in relaxation, a needed state after the excitement prior.
You snatch the washcloth before Toji wipes your face clean off. “Why did you have to be so nosy, looking at my laptop for what?” You wipe his arm that rests on the rim of the tub.
He rolls his eyes, knowing he’s in for a lecture. “Well, if ya didn’t want me to see, shoulda locked the shit.”
“That doesn’t excuse the fact that you’re nosy as hell! Could’ve just looked somewhere else or left the room!”
“Hmph, well, when you see the words ‘Down and Dirty’ all bolded and big and see another tab with a pic of a rimjob, who wouldn’t stop—“
“Okay, okay!” It would be best if you threw the cloth at him for chortling; such an indecorous personality for someone supposedly older than you. “You’re insufferable.”
“Right back at you,” he whispers to your ear and kisses your cheek. You sigh softly from his lips, resting your head on his shoulder while he pecks your chin. The hand in the water finds your thigh to grope and massage, and you moan at the touch and unwind.
Tranquility fills the cozy space between you two as the silence settles in, the humid air comforting to your nose and eyes, and the drip of the faucet plucking into the tub water is a soothing sound to cajole you into a dormant plane.
However, even when relaxing, it doesn’t stop the bothersome feeling of asking Toji something. And where better than with you in his secure embrace? “Toji,” his name has him open an eye to look your way. “You don’t think I’m…weird, don’t you?”
He raises a brow. “Explain.”
“Like, don’t you find it weird that me, your partner, indulges in hobbies that are…you know, like that,” now your eyes trail away from his gaze. “Writing about fictional fantasies and such, looking up erotic material and stuff…”
A few seconds fly as he scoffs. “Baby, I’ve been lookin’ at porn way before I met you—“
“Th–That’s not what I meant??”
“Besides, it’s nothing more than just writin’ shit that doesn’t exist. Hmm, if anything, now I know y’re just as big of a pervert as I am.”
Anxiousness transitions to peeve. “You are so—“
“Do you like what you do?”
The question takes you aback; the immediate serious tone switch wasn’t expected. “…I..yeah.”
“Are ya hurtin’ anyone?”
“No…at least I don’t want to.”
“Are ya hurtin’ y’reself?” You see what he’s doing, the glint shining from his viridian orb.
“No. I…like this hobby.”
Finally, a small smile contorts that scar of his. “Then I don’t mind it. It’s what ya like to do, so do whatever, sweetie.” He comes to kiss your nose and rest his forehead with yours. “I like ya bein’ a lil’ weird anyway.”
“Jackass…” And there you go, falling in love with him again. You cup his cheek, kiss the other, and repose onto his shoulder with a blissful sigh.
“Now,” you blink back to him. “Can’t lie, think you gotta start callin’ me ‘Daddy’ from now on,” like a scratched record, your heart stops, especially with his mischievous smirk. “Where can I read the rest of y’r stuff at?”
“That’s it,” you ignore his annoying bark of laughter as you try to squirm out of his hold. “Let me out of here, get me out of this fucking tub.”
“Haha, hey, quit it; y’re spillin’ the water!”
�� 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2024 – reblogs + comments are appreciated wholeheartedly ☆ header art by rororogi morgera + dividers by @/cafekitsune + @/animatedglittergraphics-n-more.
#𝑯𝒐𝒔𝒉𝒊 ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ 𝑾𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔: 𝑭𝒊𝒄𝒔#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#toji x reader#toji fushigro x reader#toji smut#toji fushiguro smut#toji fushiguro x you#toji x you#fushiguro toji x reader#fushiguro toji x you#fushiguro toji smut#toji fanfic#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen fic#jjk fic#anime smut
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tbh i feel like ludger should have committed more nuanced but inexcusable atrocities unknown to people on the level of light yagami for this narrative / aup ending to work because otherwise it doesnt make any damn sense.
ludger during the international trial: i hereby plead guilty to identity impersonation, large-scale thievery, mass murders, torturing, and destruction of the holy bretus kingdom as the demon king. due to the magnitude of my crimes, i believe i deserve a death sentence.
jury group #1, elisa & wolford, who knew his identity was sus since ages ago and even helped him keep it hidden: ......
jury group #2, eileen & facius, who very definitely have often committed political assassinations in the shadow: ......
jury group #3, marias & mi6, whose job is literally torturing people for intel: ......
jury group #4, all knight captains of the exilion kingdom, who are known for mercilessly and indiscriminately eliminating every threat against the exilion royalty: ......
jury group #5, everyone who attended the holy war, voluntarily or involuntarily, and even lent a hand in killing the holy emperor themselves: ......
#aup#rambles#but also borderlining#rant#i think ludger was supposed to be a redeemed anti villain protag#but he ended up being too close to tragic hero as sayren overjustified his flaws and backstories#so he became half this and half that. what a mess#bro has shown sympathy / mercy for those who r much worse than him but repented#like sure his self hate might be stronger but considering all the ppl he had in his life#it almost seems like he takes them for granted#what did he think most of his allies risked their lives and fought with him in the holy war for?#their own freedom? destruction of bretus? nah not really#they blindly trusted his cause and fought so he could live but ofco bro knew that and rushed to his death anyway#its a miracle that no one on his side died in this war and they could have died for almost nothing#ludger has already acknowledged since long ago that his allies accepted him for whoever he was#so by condemning himself he was also condemning his most trusted allies as they have worked closely w him & v likely done some similar shit#in his name and for his sake no less#unless he has done something much worse that no one knew anything about; in readers pov his suicidal tendencies r more frustrating than sad#also leaving his own life in lynnes hands as his act of submitting himself to justice is so funny cuz girl aint a fair or impartial judge#yall r as close as siblings. this trial is fuckin rigged and meaningless#''its actually so that the readers know how much ludger was cherished by his friends'' didnt we already know that after the last 700 eps???#and if ludger actually had any respect for justice he shouldve worked to surrender himself in the international court#ie confessing his guilt & accepting judgment from the qualified jury etc#instead what we have is him running away from everything again#what his best character development could have been is that he finally stops doing and deciding everything on his on terms ngl#anyway im just lowkey pissed that ludger clearly doesnt trust or care for his allies as much as they trust or care for him#''please pass my regards to everyone else'' you get your ass back here immediately and do that yourself ludger cherish#you at least owe them that much#all of them deserve so much better tbh#fuck it became a full on rant now lmfao
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Astro Observations~ 46
Mars conjunct venus individuals can easily swing from being the sexiest in the room to their most obnoxious.
Uranus square Venus natives are so confused romantically lol. I’ve seen their relationships be very on & off cuz one minute they are in love the next they feel nothing & are detached. Their feelings for you go from hot to cold. If you value stability in your relationships these are not the people for you lol.
A lot of people with Mars square Venus in their natal can be big cheaters. In my observation I notice it’s difficult for them to be loyal or only mess with one person.
Moon in Scorpio men are super prideful. They’ll lose you before they come off as vulnerable or “weak” to someone. They act like they don’t have feelings but will lose their shit if you actually leave😂 I also notice they are usually super monogamous. Even if they act like they don’t like you if they see you flirting with someone else all hell will break loose 😭 they do not play about that. Deep down they can need as much attention as a Leo moon they’re just more embarrassed to ask for attention.
Taurus mars men usually prefer a conventional type of partner. They can go for a more housewife type of woman.
Mars/Venus in Libras do not know what to do with themselves when they are single. They can be big serial daters.
Moon in Libras i notice tend to have flatter faces.
Heavy Venus in the chart can give the native big anime/doe eyes. Also they have the BEST smiles everrrr💕
Cancer moons tend to take longer to move out of their parent’s house than most I notice. They will live with their parents till they’re like 30 I swear😭.
Aries moons are super outgoing but I notice they enjoy being alone & doing things alone rather than with others. They are super independent.
Capricorn moons tend to have a harder time in their romantic relationships. It’s harder for them to show affection openly which can make their partners think they aren’t that into them.
Mars in Geminis are always on the go. If ADHD was a placement it would be mars in Gemini. They need constant mental stimulation or they can get very depressed & self destructive. They are more likely to have multiple jobs/hobbies. It’s super hard to link with these people cuz they stay busy. Be careful not to neglect important relationships because of your restlessness.
Jupiter trine ascendant gives the native a very healthy strong body.
Venus conjunct ascendant in the first house are obsessed with their appearance. Sometimes to their detriment. Gives an amazing body shape usually.
Gemini Venuses love getting their nails done. Anything that draws attention to their hands such as rings, finger tats, acrylics ect.
The most annoying underdeveloped moon sign imo is Leo. These people can be so childish when immature.
Mars in the 3rd house people usually get in trouble for speeding. Driving fast calms them down a lot.
Mars in the 8th house I read somewhere can give a very painful death ( not to scare any of you guys😭).
Uranus in the 12th house people hide their quirks to fit in usually. They have really original eccentric personalities deep down yet most are forced to act basic.
Sun in the 1st house people can become big narcissists when insecure.
Saturn in the 7th house people could’ve been used to others calling them a “buzz kill” or “too serious”. They also tend to find humor in bullying? Like mean people are hilarious to them. I think that’s a big Saturn thing in general they love “mean humor”.
Saturn in the 5th house people could’ve been judged heavily for expressing their personalities. Usually these people are super talented but it was usually shut down by others from a young age due to jealousy. This is why they can grow up being very robotic. They are also very awkward when it comes to crushes and love until much older. Could be the last one in their friend group to get married/lose their virginity.
Moon in the 7th house people tend to marry pretty early.
A lot of people on the autism spectrum have heavy Aquarius in their chart. ESPECIALLY moon in Aquarius.
Having a grand square in your natal chart can be SOOO exhausting! You are constantly being forced to evolve and grow. This gives an opposite effect from the grand trine. With the grand trine things flow to them naturally & talents come very naturally but they can be very lazy with it. However grand squares usually have to work extra hard to achieve success, nothing comes easy for them unfortunately. When you surrender to laziness with a grand square it can completely ruin your life & make you 10 steps behind everyone. It forces you to overcome any laziness.
Best sex I’ve ever experienced with mars signs have to be TAURUS, Capricorn, Virgo & Aries. I feel like people are gonna come for my throat cuz I didn’t add Scorpio mars but I honestly think their sex can be overrated. They are just big horn dogs.
Virgo placements especially the sun and Venus tend to stay virgins longer than most. They don’t need physical affection as much as most placements (especially Venus in Virgo). They’re more into the mental aspects of love.
Your biggest crush probably has a lot of 5th house overlays with you. Especially (sun,moon, venus & mars).
12th house synastry can either be your soulmate or the most traumatic experience you’ll ever have with a person.. no in between.
Leo suns with a Venus in Libra tends to have SO MANY CRUSHES.
Moon/Venus in Pisces have terrible boundaries.
It’s easy to get along with someone who has their sun in the same sign as your Venus (also trine). It’s very difficult to stay made at them for too long, you tend to view each other with rose colored glasses.
On the other hand, Mars square Venus synastry can make you annoyed with eachother easily (especially as the Venus person). Every time I had this with someone as the Venus person I genuinely found them so annoying & corny lol. Theirs this bizarre sexual tension however that can make things kinda awkward especially in a friendship. The mars person tries too hard and can be too aggressive in trying to get the Venus persons attention to a point where it’s a turn off. Timing in general is usually off (eg; one can like the other when the other isn’t interested then it can switch where the one who wasn’t interested becomes interested then the other loses interest😭).
Aries risings tend to have bigger foreheads (ex; Rihanna). They also tend to have a very good head for being bald or having pixie cuts. Their heads are usually really well shaped.
Taurus placements (especially moon & sun) can struggle hygiene wise when they are depressed. Like forgetting to shower or going days without brushing their teeth or hair.
Cancer suns can either be extremely corny humor wise or be the funniest people in the room. A lot of comedians & YouTubers have cancer suns.
Mars in pisces are usually amazing singers/dancers.
Aries sun men tend to be more interested in a person when they act like they don’t like them lol. This can also be true with Venus in Aries.
Cancers love when people open up to them emotionally/vent to them. It gives them pleasure to nurture others.
Neptune in the 1st house people tend to look like a different person every time you see them. One change to their appearance such as changing hair color, or different makeup/clothes and completely alter what they look like. The definition of shape shifters.
Moon in Geminis love experimenting with different looks/aesthetics. These people are also lowkey shape shifters as well. They can also be addicted to dying their hair lol. ESPECIALLY during mental breakdowns!
Saturn positively aspecting Venus in synastry are real Ride or Dies. It hard for you guys to leave eachother alone (especially Saturn). These people can heal past relationship trauma together🥺 i see this aspect in a lot of married couples. Saturn/venus aspects are really the glue to a relationship. Even if you have great chemistry/synastry with someone such as Sun/moon, mars/venus, Pluto/venus it will fizzle out fast if their isn’t enough Saturn influence.
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if i'm not playing genshin, i'm watching videos about genshin
#⇢₊˚⊹ 🩷∥ruby∥yo,ide yo !!#i found a streamer who mains chong#and he's fucking hilarious#i mean of course he is he's a chong main lol#mainly through youtube shorts#i can never get into watching streams tbh. no matter how entertaining a streamer is#i just end up watching vods or archives cuz i missed the stream or only caught the tail end of it#and i'm not the type of person to just drop whatever i'm doing because something really cool is happening/just dropped#i have what i'm gonna call 'task inertia': if i start doing a thing i don't like abruptly stopping#idk if that's an actual term#anyway#i've barely played genshin today#(i say that as if i hadn't done all the weeklies in one go with a friend)#(but still) like i haven't done the dailies in either of my accounts#i hate folding laundry too#completely unrelated but i wanted to complain about it#it's actually the single most boring task one could do in a house#yes even more than the dishes. and i hate doing the dishes#what makes folding laundry worse is probably just the fact that i don't have a designated 'laundry folding place'#the bed wouldn't work cuz it's literally a bed. for sleeping. and being a potato#and a random table wouldn't work either cuz it really needs to be specifically reserved for laundry folding#if it isn't it feels very makeshift like i'm not doing it where i'm supposed to#which i only do when i'm rushing for some reason#i'm probably not making any sense whatsoever but#i just hate folding laundry#worst task ever#i'll gladly do everything but#it's a good thing my bf's okay with taking care of that while i get other tasks in the house#he's such an angel i love him so much
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your post on harry’s handwriting was an eye-opener for me! ik his writing resembled his mother some and is decent overall, but i’ve never seen pics of it!
idk where the horde of fanfic writers came up with the weird notion that harry has bad/chicken scratch handwriting, which triggers me every. time. they make out his handwriting to be messy, his eating habits sloppy, his speech behaviour bumbling, his appearance unkempt, and that he’s rather messy as a person. which boggles the mind, because he’s used to cleaning up after the dursleys and probably enjoys an orderly space, if not super spic and span??? is it only certain fandoms, cuz they make the other character(s) all elegance personified and well-mannered? like, harry already is a well-mannered boy, otherwise petunia would’ve been tutting, clucking, and dying of shame even more before the nieghbours lmaoo. idk whether to cry or laugh, and sometimes it’s such a turn-off that i choose to rage quit fics.
please, if you have the time, i would love a thorough breakdown/meta on how harry actually comes across as a person!
Okay, I have so much to say about this. And omg, Harry's chicken scratch handwriting is one of my pet peeves in fics (here's the handwriting post, btw). Harry's characterization when done wrong in general, tbh is a huge turn-off for me. Becouse I love Harry, he's my boy.
So, what we're gonna look at is how other characters in the books perceive Harry, how he comes across in universe to people who can't read his mind (like we can, as the readers).
I'll start with a general note about how most characters in the books don't really know Harry. This is mostly because Harry, contrary to fanon interpretations, is a very private person and rarely talks about himself/his feelings/his thoughts out loud. This is a habit I believe was ingrained into him by the Dursleys.
Like, I mentioned in the past Harry doesn't talk as much as other characters. Scenes of the trio usually consist of mostly Ron and Hermione talking, for example. This is not becouse he doesn't have thoughts (he's quite judgmental inside his head, and we know he has a lot to say), but becouse he's used to not voicing a lot of them thanks to the Dursleys.
This essay turned out pretty long, but here we go:
How do others see Harry?
Harry comes off as confident. Harry is a defiant and courageous person, and this often comes off as confidence to other people. It's why Snape thinks Harry is arrogant and why most students are always sure Harry meant to do what he did. They think he has shit together because he comes off like he does:
Harry stayed silent. Snape was trying to provoke him into telling the truth. He wasn’t going to do it. Snape had no proof — yet. “How extraordinarily like your father you are, Potter,” Snape said suddenly, his eyes glinting. “He too was exceedingly arrogant. A small amount of talent on the Quidditch field made him think he was a cut above the rest of us too. Strutting around the place with his friends and admirers . . . The resemblance between you is uncanny.” “My dad didn’t strut,” said Harry, before he could stop himself. “And neither do I.”
(PoA, Ch14)
Snape sees Harry as arrogant, when in fact Harry is just defiant and intelligent.
“But you’ve been too busy saving the Wizarding world,” said Ginny, half laughing. “Well ... I can’t say I’m surprised. I knew this would happen in the end. I knew you wouldn’t be happy unless you were hunting Voldemort. Maybe that’s why I like you so much.”
(HBP, Ch30)
Ginny (and other characters) believe he likes to save the wizarding world. That he is this confident hero and savior. I mean, they believe her lie about the tattoo, which says a lot:
and all Romilda Vane does is ask me if it’s true you’ve got a hippogriff tattooed across your chest.” Ron and Hermione both roared with laughter. Harry ignored them. “What did you tell her?” “I told her it’s a Hungarian Horntail,” said Ginny, turning a page of the newspaper idly. “Much more macho.”
(HBP, Ch25)
Harry doesn't see himself as leader material, but it's clear everyone else does:
“I think we ought to elect a leader,” said Hermione. “Harry’s leader,” said Cho at once, looking at Hermione as though she were mad, and Harry’s stomach did yet another back flip. “Yes, but I think we ought to vote on it properly,” said Hermione, unperturbed. “It makes it formal and it gives him authority. So — everyone who thinks Harry ought to be our leader?” Everybody put up their hands, even Zacharias Smith, though he did it very halfheartedly. “Er — right, thanks,” said Harry, who could feel his face burning.
(OotP, Ch18)
Neville Longbottom, who gave a roar of delight, leapt down from the mantelpiece and yelled. “I knew you’d come! I knew it, Harry!”
(DH, Ch28)
“Look who it is! Didn’t I tell you?” As Harry emerged into the room beyond the passage, there were several screams and yells: “HARRY!” “It’s Potter, it’s POTTER!” “Ron!” “Hermione!” [...] “Are you all right, Harry?” Neville was saying. “Want to sit down? I expect you’re tired, aren’t—?” “No,” said Harry. He looked at Ron and Hermione, trying to tell them without words that Voldemort has just discovered the loss of one of the other Horcruxes. Time was running out fast: If Voldemort chose to visit Hogwarts next, they would miss their chance. “We need to get going,” he said, and their expression told him that they understood. “What are we going to do, then, Harry?” asked Seamus. “What’s the plan?” “Plan?” repeated Harry. He was exercising all his willpower to prevent himself succumbing again to Voldemort’s rage: His scar was still burning. “Well, there’s something we—Ron, Hermione, and I—need to do, and then we’ll get out of here.” Nobody was laughing or whooping anymore. Neville looked confused.
(DH, Ch29)
Everyone expected Harry in DH to have a plan of attack the moment he arrived because that's how he acts. Even in the above scene, he's in terrible pain from his scar, but the others don't see it. What they see is a Harry who looks exhausted but says no to rest because there's work to be done and they expect this of him. They see someone fearless and capable with a plan who could lead them, but this isn't what we see because we're inside his head.
How Harry doesn't speak much and acts overall quite distant, as in, he actively avoids the girls who fancy him:
Then he blinked and looked around: He was surrounded by mesmerized girls. “Hi, Harry!” said a familiar voice from behind him. “Neville!” said Harry in relief, turning to see a round-faced boy struggling toward him
(HBP, Ch7)
And he only has two close friends and barley knows the other students in his year. Most students only know Harry Potter from the stories, rumors, and Dumbledore's end-of-the-year speeches about his heroism. They have no clue who the real Harry is — so they expect the hero they do hear about.
He stands his ground a lot (again, defiance):
Harry turned to McLaggen to tell him that, most unfortunately, Ron had beaten him, only to find McLaggen’s red face inches from his own. He stepped back hastily. “His sister didn’t really try,” said McLaggen menacingly. There was a vein pulsing in his temple like the one Harry had often admired in Uncle Vernon’s. “She gave him an easy save.” “Rubbish,” said Harry coldly. “That was the one he nearly missed.”
(HBP, Ch11)
And more often than not, he does so coldly and calmly. A lot of his more fiery anger is a sign of trauma with Harry, his baseline anger reaction is cold.
All of this adds to him appearing to others as controlled, confident, and like he has everything together and could never have any issues. He comes off as this bigger than life person to most people. Snape isn't the only one who reads Harry's behavior as confident. But it's actually far from the truth.
We, as the readers, see how depressed Harry is. How lowly he thinks of himself and how much he doesn't think of himself as anything special when he very clearly is. But the fact he doesn't say any of it and has mastered the skill of acting cold and like everything is fine when he literally wants to die at the age of 5, no one knows. Even Ron and Hermione didn't truly realize the full extent of Harry's low self-worth until 5th year.
The other students are shocked to see Harry as angry as he is in book 5 because he's often way more controlled and well-mannered than that. They're used to seeing him cold and quiet, not firey. Most of his fire stays inside his head unless he's really angry or emotional in general (or traumatized):
Professor Umbridge sat down behind her desk again. Harry, however, stood up. Everyone was staring at him; Seamus looked half-scared, half-fascinated. “Harry, no!” Hermione whispered in a warning voice, tugging at his sleeve, but Harry jerked his arm out of her reach. “So, according to you, Cedric Diggory dropped dead of his own accord, did he?” Harry asked, his voice shaking. There was a collective intake of breath from the class, for none of them, apart from Ron and Hermione, had ever heard Harry talk about what had happened on the night that Cedric had died. They stared avidly from Harry to Professor Umbridge
(OotP, Ch12)
The shock of the other students, I believe, is because of what he's saying, yes, but it's also because Harry is behaving very unlike him here. He usually doesn't shout at teachers or anyone, really. He rarely speaks in classes actually.
And regarding his confidence, everyone, Ron and Hermione included, was sure Harry is super skilled and that that's how he evaded Voldemort:
“You don’t know what it’s like! You — neither of you — you’ve never had to face him, have you? You think it’s just memorizing a bunch of spells and throwing them at him, like you’re in class or something? The whole time you know there’s nothing between you and dying except your own — your own brain or guts or whatever — like you can think straight when you know you’re about a second from being murdered, or tortured, or watching your friends die — they’ve never taught us that in their classes, what it’s like to deal with things like that — and you two sit there acting like I’m a clever little boy to be standing here, alive, like Diggory was stupid, like he messed up — you just don’t get it, that could just as easily have been me, it would have been if Voldemort hadn’t needed me —” “We weren’t saying anything like that, mate,” said Ron, looking aghast. “We weren’t having a go at Diggory, we didn’t — you’ve got the wrong end of the —” He looked helplessly at Hermione, whose face was stricken.
(OotP, Ch15)
They didn't for a second think he wasn't confident in his own abilities because Harry acts in a way that comes off as confident and capable. It's why everyone so easily accepts him as a leader under various circumstances. He acts level-headed while he's terrified, so everyone thinks he knows what he's doing except Harry (and the reader). Ron and Hermione had zero doubts Harry's skill was a big part of why he survived book 4, it's only Harry who doesn't think that.
The fact Snape bothered to extract his own memories during his Occlumancy lessons goes to show how he thinks Harry is talented, contrary to his words. He feared Harry would reverse the connection and see into his mind, otherwise he wouldn't have taken these precautions.
Think of Voldemort’s resurrection even. Inside his mind, we know Harry's terrified. We know he has no idea what he's doing.
But imagine being a Death Eater in the crowd and you see this 14-year-old kid stand up after being Crucio-ed by their lord, and he stands up, resists the imperius, and shouts at your lord like he thinks of himself as equal to him — or, perhaps, better than him:
“I asked you whether you want me to do that again,” said Voldemort softly. “Answer me! Imperio!” [...] I WON’T!” And these words burst from Harry’s mouth; they echoed through the graveyard, and the dream state was lifted as suddenly as though cold water had been thrown over him — back rushed the aches that the Cruciatus Curse had left all over his body — back rushed the realization of where he was, and what he was facing. . . . “You won’t?” said Voldemort quietly, and the Death Eaters were not laughing now.
(GoF, Ch34)
That's pretty badass. Harry comes off like a confidant badass. And he gets more badass and confident as he matures (even if he isn't actually as confident as he appears).
Even in the DoM, Lucius Malfoy, who was in the graveyard, takes Harry seriously:
“Don’t do anything,” he [Harry] muttered. “Not yet —” The woman who had mimicked him let out a raucous scream of laughter. “You hear him? You hear him? Giving instructions to the other children as though he thinks of fighting us!” “Oh, you don’t know Potter as I do, Bellatrix,” said Malfoy softly. “He has a great weakness for heroics; the Dark Lord understands this about him. Now give me the prophecy, Potter.”
(OotP, Ch35)
Bellatrix makes fun of how Harry gives the other kids orders as if they're going to fight, but Lucius knows better, he knows Harry is going to fight, and I think, he's scared of what would happen when he does. Even Bellatrix quickly starts taking Harry more seriously:
“Oh, he knows how to play, little bitty baby Potter,” she said, her mad eyes staring through the slits in her hood. “Very well, then —”
(OotP, Ch35)
And she changes her tone completely after he casts a Crucio at her:
“Never used an Unforgivable Curse before, have you, boy?” she yelled. She had abandoned her baby voice now.
(OotP, Ch36)
His aura is one of competence and confidence even when he's frightened and has no idea what he's doing. Especially when he's frightened and has no idea what he's doing.
And for the most part, he doesn't come off nearly as judgmental as he actually is, because he doesn't say a lot of what he thinks. We only see him start to actually speak his mind and be more sassy out loud around 5th and 6th year. And even then, his highly judgmental physical descriptions stay part of his narration, they aren't spoken:
“That’s the bell,” said Harry listlessly, because Ron and Hermione were bickering too loudly to hear it. They did not stop arguing all the way down to Snape’s dungeon, which gave Harry plenty of time to reflect that between Neville and Ron he would be lucky ever to have two minutes’ conversation with Cho that he could look back on without wanting to leave the country.
(OotP, Ch12)
Ron and Hermione banter while Harry feels done with them, but he doesn't really say anything or complain. He keeps a lot of his thoughts inside his head.
If we look at how Ron, Hermione, and Sirius see Harry, they're the closest to who Harry actually is as these three know Harry best. (They're also more objective than Harry who looks down on himself)
After the book 5 conversation I mentioned above, Ron and Hermione are more aware of Harry's insecurities, but they find them silly. They see Harry as incredibly capable and skilled:
“Did he?” said Harry. Behind him he felt rather than heard Hermione passing his message to the others and he sought to keep talking, to distract the Death Eaters.
(OotP, Ch35)
“What are we going to do with them?” Ron whispered to Harry through the dark; then, even more quietly, “Kill them? They’d kill us. They had a good go just now.” Hermione shuddered and took a step backward. Harry shook his head. “We just need to wipe their memories,” said Harry.
(DH, Ch9)
When danger comes, everyone's instantly following Harry's lead. Harry's the planner when the situation is dangerous, he calls the shots, not Hermione. Hermione and Ron look to Harry for a plan when things get tough, and Harry always figures something out. Now, we see Harry thinking he has no idea what to do:
He could not think what to do but to keep talking. Neville’s arm was pressed against his, and he could feel him shaking. He could feel one of the other’s quickened breath on the back of his head. He was hoping they were all thinking hard about ways to get out of this, because his mind was blank.
(OotP, Ch35)
But Ron and Hermione don't. No one does. They just see Harry coming up with a plan to save them. Every time. They don't see him wracking his brain for a way to keep everyone alive.
Hermione never considers Harry stupid, not even in first year:
“I’m not as good as you,” said Harry, very embarrassed, as she let go of him. “Me!” said Hermione. “Books! And cleverness! There are more important things — friendship and bravery and — oh Harry — be careful!”
(PS, Ch16)
And Ron clearly doesn't expect stupid behavior from Harry. He's surprised and shocked when Harry does something he considers stupid:
“What the hell,” panted Ron, holding up the Horcrux, which swung backward and forward on its shortened chain in some parody of hypnosis, “didn’t you take this thing off before you dived?”
(DH, 19)
Both Ron and Hermione trust Harry's opinion and they trust him to know what to do when shit hits the fan. When things are dangerous, both Ron and Hermione (and everyone else) turn to Harry to know what to do becouse that's the aura he has:
“I’d tell him we’re all with him in spirit,” said Lupin, then hesitated slightly. “And I’d tell him to follow his instincts, which are good and nearly always right.” Harry looked at Hermione, whose eyes were full of tears. “Nearly always right,” she repeated.
(DH, Ch22)
Hermione agrees with Lupin's assessment here. Dumbledore did too, he's the one who told Kingsley and Remus to trust Harry's instincts. Harry doesn't give the impression he's messy and bumbling, quite the opposite. Yes, Harry and Hermione have their doubts, they don't agree with Harry on everything, especially when he has no evidence for his claim except his intuition. But, it's telling Harry can make claims based on gut feeling and Ron and Hermione ask him why he thinks that instead of just instantly rejecting the claims.
Like I mentioned above, he looks like he has his shit together even when he really doesn't. He's an expert in keeping a mask on and bottling up his feelings.
Sirius, also sees Harry as mature and capable for his age. It's why he's so insistent on telling him things while Molly wants to cuddle Harry:
“I don’t intend to tell him more than he needs to know, Molly,” said Sirius. “But as he was the one who saw Voldemort come back” (again, there was a collective shudder around the table at the name), “he has more right than most to —” “He’s not a member of the Order of the Phoenix!” said Mrs. Weasley. “He’s only fifteen and —” “— and he’s dealt with as much as most in the Order,” said Sirius, “and more than some —” “No one’s denying what he’s done!” said Mrs. Weasley, her voice rising, her fists trembling on the arms of her chair. “But he’s still—” “He’s not a child!” said Sirius impatiently.
(OotP, Ch5)
Between them, Sirius sees Harry more accurately. Harry is incredibly mature and capable and wants to be in the know. He'd be better off in the know. Sirius understands Harry's curiosity which Molly seems unaware of. Lupin also remarks on how Harry is going to find out things anyway, he's aware of how curious and determined Harry is. Sirius considers Harry capable even during PoA and GoF:
I know better than anyone that you can look after yourself and while you’re around Dumbledore and Moody I don’t think anyone will be able to hurt you.
(GoF, Ch18)
Molly, on the other hand, never really sees Harry's capabilities. Molly only ever sees a polite, intelligent kid. In the early years at the Weasley, Harry barely talks to Molly and Arthur because he doesn't really know how to talk to them. So they talk to him, the other Weasleys talk around him, and he's polite in turn:
“I don’t blame you, dear,” she assured Harry, tipping eight or nine sausages onto his plate. “Arthur and I have been worried about you, too. Just last night we were saying we’d come and get you ourselves if you hadn’t written back to Ron by Friday. But really” (she was now adding three fried eggs to his plate), “flying an illegal car halfway across the country — anyone could have seen you —”
(CoS, Ch3)
Harry acts around most adults like this, especially when younger. It's clear he acted this way around his teachers too:
“You see what you expect to see, Severus,” said Dumbledore, without raising his eyes from a copy of Transfiguration Today. “Other teachers report that the boy is modest, likable, and reasonably talented. Personally, I find him an engaging child.”
(DH, Ch33)
Snape got it a bit different. Because Harry is defiant and sassy — it's how he responds to the Dursleys, and this is how he responds to threats he can't do anything about in general. Sass. It's why we see Harry do this with Umbridge, Snape, and Scrimgeour:
Who do you imagine wants to attack children like yourselves?” inquired Professor Umbridge in a horribly honeyed voice. “Hmm, let’s think . . .” said Harry in a mock thoughtful voice, “maybe Lord Voldemort?”
(OotP, Ch12)
“Do you remember me telling you we are practicing nonverbal spells, Potter?” “Yes,” said Harry stiffly. “Yes, sir.” “There’s no need to call me ‘sir,’ Professor.”
(HBP, Ch9)
“...You may wear that scar like a crown, Potter, but it is not up to a seventeen-year-old boy to tell me how to do my job! It’s time you learned some respect!” “It’s time you earned it.” said Harry.
(DH, Ch7)
Harry appears confidant and arrogant not only to Snape but to Scrimgeour too (I think other students at Hogwarts see Harry as arrogant too. His demeanor can come off as arrogant if you don't know what he's thinking. It's why they could believe the Daily Prophet, it fit what they got to see). It's because he is rude and sassy when speaking his mind. It's because he acts more confident when he's terrified. It's because he's cold, distant, and uncaring towards most people and actively avoids talking to most.
And even that's mostly when he's older. In 4th year, he responds to Snape by glaring at him silently and wishing he could cast a Crucio at him:
Harry sat there staring at Snape as the lesson began, picturing horrific things happening to him. . . . If only he knew how to do the Cruciatus Curse . . . he’d have Snape flat on his back like that spider, jerking and twitching. . . .
(GoF, Ch18)
Harry is overall really quiet, which does create the impression of him being put together. More than he thinks of himself, for sure. It also adds to why many students feel as comfortable talking about him as they do because he feels distant to them. His quiet makes him feel mysterious, unknown, and far away. Like a symbol rather than a person.
Something I want to note, specifically with Umbridge, is this scene:
Harry looked around at Umbridge. She was watching him, her wide, toadlike mouth stretched in a smile. “Yes?” “Nothing,” said Harry quietly. He looked back at the parchment, placed the quill upon it once more, wrote I must not tell lies, and felt the searing pain on the back of his hand for a second time; once again the words had been cut into his skin, once again they healed over seconds later.
(OotP, Ch13)
Part of why Harry comes off as such a put-together badass is that he doesn't let others see his pain. He doesn't show he's in pain to others, especially when it's people he doesn't like. He acts though, constantly.
He hates crying in front of others becouse Harry does everything he can to not appear weak:
Harry suddenly realized that there were tears on his face mingling with the sweat. He bent his face as low as possible, wiping them off on his robes, pretending to do up his shoelace, so that Lupin wouldn’t see.
(PoA, Ch12)
And it works, people see him as confident, and capable, and heroic. Most people don't see the struggle because Harry keeps bottling it in.
Even with Hermione, he tries not to let her see how upset he actually is. We know in his head, that he is devastated by his wand breaking, that he's mourning it like it was a dead loved one, but this is what he's willing to show Hermione:
“It was an accident,” said Harry mechanically. He felt empty, stunned. “We’ll—we’ll find a way to repair it.” [...] “Well,” he said, in a falsely matter-of-fact voice, “well, I’ll just borrow yours for now, then. While I keep watch.”
(DH, Ch17)
All this means, we, as the readers , see Harry's pain, his struggles, his vulnerability — but the other characters almost never do.
The only character who is consistently aware of Harry's struggles is Sirius who Harry confides his weaknesses to more than any other character:
“Never mind me, how are you?” said Sirius seriously. “I’m —” For a second, Harry tried to say “fine” — but he couldn’t do it. Before he could stop himself, he was talking more than he’d talked in days
(GoF, Ch19)
Harry is so used to saying his fine and bearing his burdens in silence. It's what he does. It's what he did for years. Most characters think Harry is unshakable because that's how he acts.
Even when Harry tries to lie so Sirius won't worry, Sirius sees through it:
Nice try, Harry. I’m back in the country and well hidden. I want you to keep me posted on everything that’s going on at Hogwarts.
(GoF, Ch15)
As for his room and appearance, he is a little messy actually when he has the chance to be in seventh year:
Harry had spent the morning completely emptying his school trunk for the first time since he had packed it six years ago. At the start of the intervening school years, he had merely skimmed off the topmost three quarters of the contents and replaced or updated them, leaving a layer of general debris at the bottom—old quills, desiccated beetle eyes, single socks that no longer fit.
(DH, Ch2)
As in, his trunk is a bit of a mess. But this makes sense, I think. He allows himself to be messy when he doesn't have the Dursleys over his head. It's like a sort of freedom he didn't have before, so he indulges in it. I think the mess in his trunk is also a result of him actually living from it for 6 years, as he couldn't really leave everything at home with the Dursleys, could he? Still, his room and belongings are nowhere near as messy as Ron's.
As for his appearance, the only thing mentioned to be messy is his hair:
His jet-black hair, however, was just as it always had been — stubbornly untidy, whatever he did to it
(PoA, Ch1)
But from other characters (including Hermione) thinking Harry's hot:
“Oh, come on, Harry,” said Hermione, suddenly impatient. “It’s not Quidditch that’s popular, it’s you! You’ve never been more interesting, and frankly, you’ve never been more fanciable.”
(HBP, Ch11)
We can conclude Harry's messy hair comes off as cool and attractive and not like a bird's nest.
We also see from Hermione and others that Harry looks scary. He is 5'11 by book 6 with an intimidating glare and that he looks like he can throw a punch, (and can definitely throw a punch when he wants to). So he has a physical intimidation factor when older:
“Well, it’s like Hagrid said, they can look after themselves,” said Hermione impatiently, “and I suppose a teacher like Grubbly-Plank wouldn’t usually show them to us before N.E.W.T. level, but, well, they are very interesting, aren’t they? The way some people can see them and some can’t! I wish I could.” “Do you?” Harry asked her quietly. She looked horrorstruck. “Oh Harry — I’m sorry — no, of course I don’t — that was a really stupid thing to say —”
(OotP, Ch21)
Harry was not aware of releasing George, all he knew was that a second later both of them were sprinting at Malfoy. He had completely forgotten the fact that all the teachers were watching: All he wanted to do was cause Malfoy as much pain as possible. With no time to draw out his wand, he merely drew back the fist clutching the Snitch and sank it as hard as he could into Malfoy’s stomach — “Harry! HARRY! GEORGE! NO!” He could hear girls’ voices screaming, Malfoy yelling, George swearing, a whistle blowing, and the bellowing of the crowd around him, but he did not care, not until somebody in the vicinity yelled “IMPEDIMENTA!” and only when he was knocked over backward by the force of the spell did he abandon the attempt to punch every inch of Malfoy he could reach. . . .
(OotP, Ch19)
To summarise
Harry bottles up a lot of his emotions and tends to be quiet, this creates the often wrong impression he is confident and has his shit together.
He doesn't show pain and weakness to others and doesn't cry or show he's upset to basically anyone (except Sirius). This means basically no one sees his struggles or how depressed and traumatized Harry actually is. It even surprises Ron and Hermione in book 5.
He is defiant and rude to people he doesn't like, especially when scared, the result is that he appears like a very capable and confident badass especially when under pressure.
He can be intimidating with his glare alone and once he's older he is a physical presence. He's not someone who can disappear in a crowd post-book 5.
His rudeness oftentimes stays in his head except when someone really annoys him. This makes him appear defiant, but overall polite because he keeps most of his mean comments to himself.
When younger, he is very polite and quiet, especially toward adults. When he's older, he gets a little sassier (as in, he says some of his internal monologue out loud). But he is a polite, well-mannered kid for the most part.
The character who has a messy room, is a bit of a slob, has chicken scratch handwriting, and is lazy with schoolwork, is Ronald Weasley, who I love dearly, but these descriptions have nothing to do with Harry and everything to do with Ron.
The only unkempt thing about Harry's appearance is likely his Potter hair, which is more messy hot than messy bad (if all the girls' reactions are anything to go by).
#harry potter#hp#hp meta#hollowedtheory#harry potter meta#asks#anonymous#harry james potter#my best boy hjp
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ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ʟɪɢʜᴛ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛ 𝟸
yan light who is the sassiest man you've ever met
yan light who literally looks at Misa up and down in such disgust, it literally its like a popular mean girl looking at a nerd like damn hoe
yan light who wraps his arms around you, and literally says the sweetest things to you but then when it's Misa, he acts like she doesnt even exist
yan light who tells you he has to pretend to be misa's bf crying, like he's actually crying tears, blood, sweat, and everything
"b-babbyyy!! I d-dont wanna be wit-with that g-girl, I pro-promise!!"
"wife, does this mean I'm free?"
"Y/n L/n, leave me and I swear to God, i will roam the fucking earth searching for you."
yan light who even a complete stranger could tell he doesn't like Misa at all compared to you, he literally hugs you in public, kiss your jaw, hold your arm, hand, meanwhile with Misa, the farthest thing he has ever done was pat her shoulder 💀
yan light who in college, spends all his free time searching for you to hang out
yan light who memorizes your schedule, waiting outside your class whenever the bell rings
yan light who now sleep over at your house because he loves searching through your closet, searching for a hoodie that smells the most like you
yan light who literally thinks of ways to absolutely destroy ur TV and phone, he's quite literally only in some tight black shorts and ur hoodie and u don't wanna devour him??? Why tf are you tryna watch Tom and friends when he's literally there suggesting sex
yan light who you don't pay attention to all night, watching some Tom and friends cuz that shit mad entertaining, and light is over here rubbing his thighs together, glaring at the TV
Yan light who grabs you hand and puts it on his thighs, making your hand grip them.
Yan light who looks at you for a reaction, but you were STILL not bothering to look at him,
yan light who was pissed and sassy at you the whole night, turning his back to you and huffing, furrowed eyebrows
"hey, aren't ya gonna hug me? im cold"
Yan light who scoffs but turns around and begins to cuddle you, head between your boobies, forgetting why he was mad in the first place
yan light who wants to cut handcuffs on both you and him so you'll NEVER be seprated from him, literally wanting to bawl and cry at the thought of him without you
yan light who feels like he cant breath without you
yan light who literally thinks about the worst thing happening to you when you dont answer his call or text within a minute, about to start pulling at his hair and chewing on his nails with a crazy look on his face
yan light who memorizes your voice, the way you walk, the way you eat, the way you clean and everything just because hes that obsessed over you
yan light who is so close to using his death note on misa just because she managed to small talk you, glaring at her with such hatred you would think she killed his dog or sum
yan light who always making sure he holds the door open for your and giving you snacks when you dont have any
yan light who buys you things you've been recently talking about, telling you he deserves a kiss for what he did for u
yan light who is ur jealous lil wife <333
SOMEONE HELP NO MORE REQUEST P<LS ITS LIKE I SOLD MY FUCKIGN SOUL OMG I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START ATTHIS POINT
JKJK SEND REQUESTS IF U WANT
#yandere x reader#yanderemalexreader#clingy yandere#soft yandere#tw yandere#yandere blog#yandere boyfriend#yandere x darling#yandere male#yandere#yandere light yagami#yandere death note#destinys worksss<333
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Naked in Manhattan
A/N: pls send requests, i need them for my shitty trip. (A little update 2 days later) im gonna cry my eyes out if i have to stay her for any longer.
Premise: Teen!Vi x teen!reader, being unlikely friends, having a sleepover together and that leads to a bit of silly stuff (NOTHING WEIRD JUST KISSING)
Warnings: uh kissing? Idk, dont read this if you’re like 30 cuz thats a little weird. Probably a wrong description of friday the 13th, i watched it like 5 years ago so idk all i know is theres a sex scene at the start.
Words: 1,481
To put it simply, you were a weird kid. From 1st grade to now you didnt have many friends. It wasnt horrible, it was honestly pretty nice. Less drama to worry about and more time to get your homework done so you can do whatever you want. That was until you met Vi.
She was a pretty sociable person, not like happy to talk constantly, just unafraid of interaction. You both sat by each other during biology, it came to you easily but with Vi it took a little more time… after a while she started to ask for your help. It was never a demand to do her homework, and you could tell that she was really struggling. It started with a few short explanations, to a few short conversations about the shitty teacher, to plans to hang out afterschool. It was all so fast for you, was this even how friendships started? Either way it was fine, not like you could call it off when you’re 5 minutes away from her house.
Your heart raced at the thought of even being in her house. Was it weird to dress up for this? Were your pajamas appropriate? What would her house look like? You sat in the backseat of the car, gripping onto the strap of your bag for dear life, contemplating if it was even normal to be this nervous. I mean you were acting like you were going on your first date, and it’d be weird to date another girl, right? I mean Vi was pretty but wasn’t in a romantic way, maybe… your racing thoughts were cut off by the sudden stop of the car. You quickly got out, making sure you had all your stuff on you.
After talking to Vi’s dad Vander for a little, you sat on the floor of Vi’s bedroom, looking around like you about escape. She had a few posters, most of some boxers you didn’t know and some rock bands you also didn’t know. Her room was messy but you can see that she attempted to clean up a bit. It was a little after 9pm, Vi was talking to her dad about watching some movies on the TV. A part of you wanted to beg to be picked up and the other wanted to stay forever.
“Alright, you up to watch some horror movies?” Vi said with a smirk on her face, holding up a few CDs of shitty shock value horror. You smiled, standing up and walking quickly to living room together.
You both sat on the couch together, a space between the two of you. “Okay… Friday the 13th or Hellraiser?” She asked with a daring look on her face as she held both them up. You pointed to Friday the 13th, i mean you’ve heard about it more so it couldn’t be that bad, right? Vander was out going to the store, and Powder was out for the night by now. Vi put the CD in and you both sat watching. Maybe you spent a little too much time caring about if your posture was bad or if you should hold something, but as soon as the opening scene came on you didn’t know how to act. Seeing the people move in such a manner to mimic sex, you knew it was probably not real but it made you blush a bit. As you listened to the faux moans, you felt weird. You imagined yourself as the girl for a minute, it wasn’t too enjoyable compared to imagining the both of you there. But you wouldn’t do that with Vi, that would be weird, right. Safe to say you stayed silent for the rest of the movie, barely even getting scared if you excuse jumping a few times.
After it had ended you sort of just spaced out. Vi took a notice of that, assuming you were just scared or something. “…you wanna watch something easier?” She said after a second of silence, you just nodded. She quickly got up to look through CDs again, finally landing on Mean Girls to cleanse your palate. Putting in and watching felt a bit better. You both made fun of them and laughed with each other, it was weirdly bonding. The clock hit 11pm, you guys were a bit closer on the couch. You looked to Vi at a funny part, seeing if she would laugh, you didn’t know why seeing her smile made your heart race. Your eyes met and she smiled at just you, but you felt like you were caught stealing something so you quickly looked away.
The movie ended and Vander came back, telling you both to go to bed. You both obliged, even though you shared a small look, knowing you’d stay up until you couldn’t keep your eyes open. You both sat on the floor of Vi’s bedroom, attempting to think of something to do. “Maybe we could play truth or dare?” You ask, it was stereotypical but it was a fun game, theoretically. Vi lit up, like it was the idea of a century. “I’ll start, truth or dare?” Vi said with a smile, holding her pillow in her lap. “Truth?” You were bit unsure, still anxious if all your actions were okay. “Okay… who’s your celebrity crush?” Vi asks with the same smile plastered on her face. You thought long and hard, you couldn’t say some like Kristen Stewart or any other girl, that would make it so tense. “…uh… whoever the actor is for Elvira…” you say, hesitant but you couldn’t lie. Lying would be worse than making it awkward. She looked a bit shocked. “Really? You like girls?” She says like it just unexpected rather than weird. “I dont know… i mean probably.” You say, trying to push off the topic, it wasn’t something for you to decide right now, or you just told yourself that. It was silent and awkward for a moment, well for you. You forgot it was your turn. “Oh, truth or dare?” You say quickly, attempting to completely forget, or at least think of a way to give yourself short term memory loss. “Truth.” She says, her smile still unmoving. “Uh… have you ever dated someone?” You ask, a little hesitant. The warm light of a lamp illuminated Vi’s face, it was covered in scars but it was pretty to you. “No, datings for losers.” She says with a laugh, it was unexpected though. Someone so nice, so pretty, i mean you would totally date her— never mind. “Truth or dare.” Vi says, her voice daring. You couldn’t pick truth again, it’d a pussy move. “Dare.” You said with a surge of confidence. It was a moment of silence as Vi contemplated what dare to give her.
“I dare you to kiss me.” Vi says with a smirk, like she knew you wouldn’t do it. Your face became hot as can be. You froze for a minute, it was so weird to even think about doing that with any girl, let alone Vi. You didn’t know if it was a sudden rush of adrenaline or what, all that you did know was the feeling of Vi’s lips pressed against yours. You held the side of her cheek, as if she would leave if you let go. Vi was surprised, well that was before she responded with ten times the amount of force in the kiss. Almost straight up knocking you down, her hands falling to your shoulder and your waist. After a minute that felt way too long, she broke the kiss. Your insides felt crazy, you had never felt like this ever. Her smile was so wide as she stared into your eyes, your own expression just being plain shocked.
“…was that too much?” Vi asked, you shook your head maybe a bit too much. You started to smile, the warm feeling growing in your stomach. With only the smallest bit of hesitance she kissed you once more, well it was more like a hundred small kisses, but it lasted forever. Her hand that was planted on your waist gently moved upwards onto your ribcage, feeling your heart race. On the other hand, yours were stuck like they were weighed down with concrete. It was awkward, intense as well, she prodded her tongue onto your lips just a bit, as if asking for entrance. You separate your lips a smidge, her tongue quickly entering. It was awkward, you let out a few weird noises, she almost passed out from lack of oxygen. After breaking the kiss, you both sat there awkwardly, not really knowing what to do next.
“Uh… that was nice…” Vi says with a flushed face and a dorky smile. You nodded, you had never once expected to make out with anyone, let alone a girl. It was nice, very nice.
#arcane#vi x reader#vi arcane#vi x you#league of lesbians#LESBIANISM FOR YHE WIN#i wish i had a gf…#im so tired guys
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i love the way you write viktor sm sm 🫡 if you feel up to it, id love to see some more of your domestic headcanons! also, do you think either viktor's partner and jayce get jealous of each other? lmao i like imagining a silent passive aggression n rivalry between anyone dating viktor and jayce.
keep up the great work!!!!
AN: AHH ONG THANK YOU 🙏 i’m new to the arcane fandom + writing viktor so i feared my depiction of him was super ooc so im glad people like it haha
now i don’t think jayce would hate you or anything, but he would certainly be weary… since i am an avid jayvik shipper and he is def in love w/ his “partner” he would ofc be upset he is with someone else !
however however he isn’t down right mean to you. being blunt with you, dismissing what you say and asking viktor if he is sure about you is the most he would go
that is if you treated viktor good if you treated him bad (which idk why you would) oh boy you’d have a whole can of whoopass coming to be delivered
using his counselor powers he’d def make sure your life sucks lmfao 😭😭
however once you prove that you really do love viktor with your entire heart and your nothing but kind to jayce im sure after a while he will have to face the reality that your not going away and also he actually kinda likes you
you can keep up with all the hextech shit and no matter what always care about viktor and cmon what else can ask for?
as far as you being jealous i’m sure you would even if you aren’t to typically get jealous. it’s clear not only in his words but his whole life viktor loves jayce even if it isn’t romantic anymore (cuz ur there duh)
at first you were super confused why his lab “partner” was lowkey a bitch to you. you understood viktor has pretty much no romantic experience and he’s probably just looking out for his friend
it wouldn’t be until jayce has finally warmed up to you and shared some old story of him and viktor that you would understand that he loved him. like loved him loved him it wasn’t just platonic
“oh y/n! i am almost done with my work for today, just give me a second and i’ll be right out!” viktor said removing an (honestly) goofy looking pair of goggles he was using to make small adjustments to a project he was working on.
“take your time!” you chime as viktor hobbles away with his cane. you are left alone with jayce waiting for your love to be done. you turn to jayce and with a polite smile you nod to him.
jayce nods back not meeting your eye. after a moment jayce sighs. “you know he never used to leave this much until you showed up.” jayce said with a small sad smile. you smile down at your feet. “yes i’m well aware he loves to tell me how much he has a work i can only assume it consumed his whole life” you admit.
jayce looks down before speaking again, “usually it was me pulling him out of his work. forcing him to eat, sleep whatever it was.” jayce sighs almost defeated.
you smile again, brighter this time. “he also told me that.” you say. jayce chuckles before rubbing his hand against his jaw. “you know sometimes it felt like a loosing battle to get him to take care of himself. it still is. i never gave up because he was my- still is my everything.” jayce admits.
his confession lays heavy in the air. realization hits of what exactly he means. your face falls realizing how much it must hurt to be around you. before you can’t speak you hear viktor walking out of wherever he went.
“oh! you two are talking, how nice.” viktor teases as he walks up to you. you shake your head with a smile. “you go ahead i’ll be right behind you.” viktor smiles with a curious expression but leaves you alone with jayce.
you flung your arms around the man. jayce stumbles back confused but eventually hugs you back. “thank you.” was all you whispered to him before leaving returning side by side with viktor. “what were you two discussing?” he asks not meeting your eyes.
“we were plotting evil against you.” you say with a small smile, viktor only rolls his eyes.
anyways to conclude that i think like you said it’s a silent sort of one sided beef on jayce’s part but eventually it ends (for the most part lol)
as far as what viktor feelings on the matter he can obviously tell it’s strained between you too but reassures both of you that either one of you just want the best for him
he does not like conflict and def gets anxious when both of yall share the same space.
however a small (teeny tiny) part of him is grateful. he hasn’t ever had many people in his life let alone two people (almost) fighting over him, but again a small part he is mostly anxious
as far as domestic stuff goes he def lets you fidget with his fingers. in private ofc. you slowly massage his fingers when your concentrating on something and while he pretends he is reading the page hasn’t been turned in the last 5 minutes because he is solely focus on you
you become his whole world and god he cannot get over how you are his. or that he is yours! i’ve talked a lot about how you take care of him which is true
you help him with his brace, cooking, cleaning all the normal life stuff but something i haven’t touched too much on his how he takes care of you
just because he is disabled does not mean he is weak by any means. he always always always makes sure the house and you are at the perfect tempature.
he will braid small chunks in your hair if it’s long enough, he’ll get your toothbrush ready for you, make sure to have all of your favorite things at the house
takes advantage of piltover’s plentiful arts and brings home things of your interest.
i’m a firm believer that viktor looks like an old man when he sleeps with a long shirt and long pants, which is cute till he radiates heat like a damn furnace at night
you resort to sleeping in just a shirt and underwear. which drives viktor a tad wild. seeing you shuffle out of bed and your ass is already out? he is in heaven.
if you do not have a loving family let’s pretend for a second you do (bc same bestie same) and picture viktor getting personally invited to the holidays by your father.
he’s never been so nervous and excited. i’m not sure what holidays exactly but something that required the whole family which includes him.
he of course is overwhelmed at how many people there are. you eventually leave him to fend for himself when your family needs you to help prepare something
he is terrified but when you come back he is getting his ear talked off by one of your baby cousins. so all is well.
he is mostly scared of being judged by your family (and in this head cannon they never would) but to his shock he is accepted! just like how you accepted him.
your family just like you never ever once made him feel bad for his disability or his appearance or anything ever !
domestic life has not been common for viktor but now that he has you, you have fought for it to be his every day
#s1 viktor x reader#viktor x y/n#viktor arcane x reader#viktor x you#viktor headcannons#viktor x reader#viktor machine herald#viktor league of legends#viktor arcane#jayce x viktor
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ways to look after ur mental well being⋆.ೃ࿔*:・🧋
mental health is definitely the most important thing that u should work on and prioritize in everyday life so here r some ways that u can look after urself ✨🗒️💕
PEN AND PAPER ;
pen and paper is ur best friend, being able to articulate ur thoughts and get them down on paper is a great way to practice self awareness and is a good skill to have in general.
its best not to keep things harbored or bottled up in ur mind and if ur looking to get into therapy a great place to start getting comfy with ur emotions and thoughts is journalling.
this includes things like keeping a diary, doing shadow work, or prompted journalling. just being able to get comfortable and aware of whats going on in ur head is rly good for you.
CHECK-UPS ;
make a habit of checking up on yourself to make sure that ur doing everything that u need to be doing to function at ur best, to make sure that ur feeling okay and making adequate time for you.
some rly good ways to have little check-ups is just preparing some questions to ask urself sometimes (how do i feel?) is the most basic one but asking urself that does help put ur feelings into perspective.
METICULOUS ;
oftentimes, when we neglect our physical care, we can start to feel the effects of that in our mental health and our mood which is why i think that self care is such a major aspect in mental health.
sometimes when we hit rock bottom in our mental health/healing journey, doing self care can seem tedious and like a daunting task. its important to prepare an alternate routine for times like this when u absolutely MUST do a little something.
to find a good place to start i recommend my posts : the feel better formula. 🍰💗
KEEP A BOOKLET OF REMEDIES ;
sometimes it makes me feel better if i have a little booklet that tells me how to treat symptoms that i might feel, whether thats physical or mental. doing so makes me feel like i have a plan. some notes from my little booklet of remedies include
cuz sometimes, all your missing in ur mental health equation is one thing and its important to know urself and what u need, bcuz you are your own best doctor sometimes.
ASK THE HARD QUESTIONS ;
sometimes we need to be uncomfortable to be comfortable. some questions or some things that i wanna come to terms with/when i need to call myself out on something. THATS LOWKEY UNCOMFORTABLE.
when im doing shadow work and digging deep, THATS UNCOMFORTABLE. but its what needs to be done in order for me to move forward on my journey as a person.
with all this being said its important to never lose sight of urself and to be ur biggest protector, look out for yourself, do what u need to do to heal, HAPPY HEALING JOURNEY GIRLIES ✨
#honeytonedhottie⭐️#advice#becoming that girl#self care#it girl#self love#that girl#it girl energy#dream girl tips#dream girl#dream life#self awareness#self reflection#self growth#self improvement#mental health#mental health awareness#healing journey#hyper femininity#girl blogging#girl blog#princess#doll
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