#most of the bad experiences I had was with Italians for some reason

[langblr-gremlin]

I will never get over that one time during my Erasmus in Norway where I had to work with one Italian dude in my Norwegian class who decided to mutter to himself IN ITALIAN the entire time.

[blorbocedes]

so uhh how about that hulkenleto sugarbaby au?

hehe, gabi/hulk, stripper au... max is disney princess anora. inspired heavily by this

Max assesses him with a clinical gaze. Tall, long legs with a gazelle beauty, most importantly young, and can put on an attitude. Some Johns will smack you in the face for that. Others pay extra to get findommed.

Gabriel is one of Max's protégés, his ducklings. Now that Max parades around with a gawking 10-carat diamond on his finger and is about to retire from the club to be with his mysterious and loaded 'baldie,' he has a frankly expansive client list to dump. He used to be one of the youngest starting out and now, at 27, he feels like their mother with all these fresh young things joining.

Kimi was offloaded to Torger, a billionaire who had been relentlessly after Max for years and was happy to sink his claws into their youngest addition. Max would feel bad if he didn't know how generously Toto tipped his favourites, Kimi would be set for life very shortly, and he took a certain amount of pleasure taking him away from that coked out thin skank, Russell -- who, word was through the grapevines, was so desperate to keep Toto interested he offered barebacking.

The hefty American Zak liked to watch waifish pale twinks who could pass for brothers tongue over the swell of his gut, so Lando and Oscar were his under exclusivity; although Oscar's personal pimp Mark always kept a possessive, eternally cuckolded eye on him.

Ollie seemed to be trying for the Italian club Charles made his name and fortune. They did like a pretty face there.

That left Gabriel. At first Max brought him to Helmut, a truly revolting, barely alive, decrepit old man. Max was loyal to him for essentially starting his career but he took one look at Gabriel from his glass eye and said, "Max, you've brought me a Grade B whore."

Gabriel can't help running his mouth. "I wouldn't be collecting sins on my deathbed, if I were you, velho safado."

Max winced, before dragging him away.

That's how Gabriel ended up with Nico difficult to pronounce German last name. Hülkenberg. The club is Fernando's, who is a success story himself -- landed himself a shark by the name of Flavio Briatore who would do anything for him, no matter the legality. Fernando likes Gabi, or else he would've been fired for speaking to clients the way he does.

'Be nice, play into the girlfriend experience. He's handsome so a lot of the girls let him get far for free, you'll have to penny pinch it out of him.' Max warned.

And compared to the usual greasy, pot-bellied clients Nico was handsome. Blond, tall -- taller than Gabi -- with a relatively intact hairline for a man approaching his 40s, relatively fit.

"What present have you brought me, little pancake?" Nico wolf-whistled, addressing Max but eyeing Gabriel.

"This is Bubbles." Max introduced him, with his stripper name.

One dance and he has him, hook line and sinker. Gabi is graceful than a lot of the taller dancers, having done ballet in his youth. When he worked his way around the pole in his heels, spin then a split, asking Nico to bite the ribbon of his corset and watch it come undone -- seeing his pupils go dark in real time, he knew he had it.

"Should we go somewhere private?" Nico asked, voice husky but clearly familiar with the proceedings. Gabriel took his meal ticket to the velvet purple room, paid for by the hour.

"Such a small neck," Nico murmured appreciatively against the sensitive small hairs of his neck, sniffing it while Gabi sat on his lap. He could feel Nico hardening under him, pushing against his ass. Gabi grinds back in slow, teasing circles. It's big, proportionate to a big man's size. Sometimes larger men have smaller digits, and have to buy sex to overcompensate. If he's rich, reasonably sized, and handsome then there must be something really wrong about him.

"You're going to love Ibiza. It's going to be Ka-put." Nico was babbling some nonsense about flying Gabriel out, like he's some wide-eyed virgin who buys any nice story Johns tell him.

"Old man," Gabi rolled his eyes. "No money, no touch. Old enough to be my fucking grandfather." He threatens to get off Nico's lap, scoot on the loveseat they're on.

Nico huffs a laugh at that. It's not even true. Old enough to be his father, maybe. He stuffs a wad of cash in the string of Gabi's panties, and pulls him back on his lap, cock grinding onto him making his intentions known. "You're so bubbly. Feisty. I like it."

Gabriel closes his eyes and counts to ten. Then he starts giving Nico his hours' worth.

[dutifullyscreechingdragon]

Hazbin Hotel x reader cooking headcanons

Summary: HH character headcanons with their s/o and cooking. I hope you enjoy!

Includes:

Angel Dust

Alastor

Vox

Sir Pentious

Angel Dust

Cooking with Angel mostly consists of you cooking and him lying dramatically on the table, most probably making suggestive comments, something along the lines of:

"Why not just skip dinner and all these formalities and go straight to the bedroom?"

or

"Wouldn't you rather have me for dinner?"

That is, until the stove catches on fire and he has to leap over the table in an attempt to save your meal. Usually he succeeds, he is a great cook after all. You always marvel how he can turn a what seemed like a lost cause into a delicious meal.

This is not saying that you're a bad cook, it's just, it's kind of hard to concentrate when your boyfriend keeps making suggestive comments every 5 seconds... He knows that and does so on purpose, he is an annoying little shit like that.

What would you guys be cooking?

Pasta. You'll be making pasta or ravioli or any Italian dish for that matter. He LOOOOOVES Italian food, it reminds him of the past, when he was still alive, of his sister... It holds great sentimental value for him, so if he were to come home after a very rough day in the studio and see Italian food you made for him, boy would melt (please cook for him, he needs the mood boost)

As for baking, you make cupcakes and cookies. Angel usually decorates them, with pink liqueur and sprinkles. He makes some of them look like spiders and hearts - he's amazing with decorations. When he knows you're not looking, he'll make one that looks like a dick..... You know, just to get a rise out of you.

Alastor

Jambalaya. You're definitely eating jambalaya. That's his favourite dish and you bet he'll be cooking it any chance he gets.

"What do you want for dinner, dear?" Alastor calls from the kitchen

"I don't know, whatever you want" you reply.

"Jambalaya it is, then" he says cheerily as you realise your mistake and prepare to eat it for the third time this week.

Alastor definitely teaches you his mother's recipes. This is a deeply personal thing to him and a huge part of opening up and starting to trust you.

He gets really giddy and His heart absolutely melts when you cook for him from the family cookbook. Loves coming home after a hard day to have a warm dinner by a familial recipe made for him.

Great cook. If you don't know how to cook, he'd be happy to do majority of cooking in your household (Though you might have to bribe him with kisses to not use human meat).

Unfailingly offers you human flesh/ raw meat whenever he's eating it. You might see it as gross, he sees it as him being a gentleman.

Vox

Insists on following the recipe to the letter. All hell breaks lose, when there's a typo:

"Add 1500 grams of flour.... That can't be right" you read

"Come on, sweetheart, if the recipe says so, this must be the right way"

"it must've been a typo or-"

"Nah they wouldn't make such a big mistake, relax, I've got it figured out. Now help me heave the bag into the bowl"

"No! Wait don't add it all-" you try to stop him, a fruitless attempt to salvage your meal.

The flour spills out.

When you eat your stone hard cookies, Vox might admit that maybe you were right:

"i think ... Maybe it was a typo actually"

"Ya think?" Would be your aggravated reply.

You end up eating at some fancy restaurant (He made the reservations even before you attempted your cooking experiment. He remembers how many previous attempts had turned out and has a fair estimation of both of yours cooking skills)

Sir pentious

You don't just cook food. You make complicated constructions out of it. It's a form of art. You always feel sorry to eat it at the end.

For one reason or another, your kitchen is stacked with overcomplicated machines. They are proud creations off your partner and are mostly designed to aid in cooking, in the most silly way (think- overcomplicated pan that flips the pancakes themselves).

Mostly. Apparently, Sir Pentious deemed it crucial to add murderous features to those machines and other kitchen utensils in your possession (think- the aforementioned pan can procure a mass destruction laser on demand).

Sometimes you would have competitions: who can make teh most complicated, aesthetically looking meal in record time. The results vary:

Sometimes you end up with a delicious two-course + desert meal, that took hours of preparation and you had a ton of fun.

And other times you end up with chaos and half burned food, that took 10 minutes to prepare. Because:

"You looked like you were nearly done, I had to rush!"

"You rushing made me rush!"

"I only rushed because you rushed!"

Both the times you end up with a completely demolished kitchen. Its a miracle neither of you lost any limbs!

But at the end of the day, you have a nice, fairly edible meal, with your partner and joke about how the preparation went. Praising each other saves:

"That was amazing, really. The way you simultaneously finished the sauce while being at the stove and cutting the tomatoes!"

and laughing at the fails:

"I cant believe it took you 30 minutes to prepare the sauce... You kept adding Sault, and then deciding that it was too salty so you had to add the other ingredients to balance it out!" You'd giggle remembering it

"But it hasss to be perfect" Pentious would hiss out.

"It was perfect" you'd reply with a smile "Everything was amazing, love"

A/n: This is the end, hopefully you enjoyed it!

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really That Bad?

So. You want to watch a pre-MCU Marvel movie.

The time before the MCU was truly a Wild West, so you have all sorts of bizarre offerings to choose from. Of course there’s the Blade trilogy, which covers a whole range of quality from good to bad; you have the Ghost Rider duology, a pair of campy supernatural action films where Nicolas Cage turns into a flaming skeleton; you have three different Punisher films of varying quality that all get Frank Castle at least to some degree; and you have Howard the Duck. But maybe you’re looking for something truly weird, obscure, and strange…

No, not that one.

Not that one either, that’s too obscure.

There we go!

In 1990 we got a film featuring the first Avenger, directed by cult filmmaker Albert Pyun and with a budget of only three million bucks. This tiny budget meant a lot of corners had to be cut, the script was constantly changing, the film had to be shot in Yugoslavia, and worst of all Stan Lee’s cameo had to be cut. And what’s the end result of this? A film that grossed barely over $10,000 and left many staff members at Marvel extremely disappointed. It would be a little over two decades before Steve Rogers was unfrozen for another ride, and this film was left to languish in obscurity. Hell, the only reason I know it exists is because it was the subject of an early video from the Nostalgia Critic.

But in the spirit of America, in the spirit of redeeming crappy old Marvel movies, and the spirit of cashing in on the release of the new Captain America film, I decided I’d finally check out this bizarre piece of Marvel’s history to find out if this really is as bad as critics say it is, or if this hero film is a lot more super than previously imagined.

THE GOOD

The biggest thing that stood out to me while watching this is that Captain America and Red Skull are genuinely perfectly done. Let’s talk about Skull first, since he’s a bit more mixed.

His makeup is extremely weird, but we only see it in the first quarter of the film, and his backstory is unexpectedly tragic seeing as he’s a boy forcibly orphaned by Italian fascists (yes, he’s Italian rather than a German Nazi) and turned into a super soldier through torturous experiments in a backstory that is vaguely and ironically similar to Magneto in a lot of way. But those things aside, he very much feels like a megalomaniacal comic book villain, complete with dramatic speeches and a truly dastardly plan. You see, he—a fascist foreigner—wants to mind control the United States president and use him as a puppet to rule by proxy. Thankfully, nothing so ludicrous as a foreign fascist using the president as a puppet could happen anywhere but in the world of comic books and their movie adaptations!

It really is Scott Paulin’s performance that carries the character. Yes, it sucks that Red Skull’s skull is not actually red outside of the World War II scenes that kick off the movie, but with how deliciously menacing he makes the guy it’s hard to be too upset. He may not have the look, but he has the wickedness down to a T.

But more impressive, and the thing that stuck out to me the most, is how good Matt Salinger is as Cap. I wasn’t expecting to be blown away, but boy did Matt knock his role out of the park despite the script and budget not always letting his Cap go as hard as he should. His simple refutation of Red Skull mocking everything he stands for—a simple rebuke of “I care,” delivered with conviction and sincerity—is so fucking good that it’s worth the price of admission alone. Salinger also nails the sweetness and corniness of Steve, such as genuinely complimenting his now elderly former flame by telling her she’s still beautiful or just in general having a cheesy fish-out-of-water charm of a man from the 40s transplanted into the 90s. I love Chris Evanas to bits, and his Cap is one of the best parts of the MCU… But I think Salinger might actually have done Cap best. If nothing else, it's very funny seeing a Salinger prevent presidential assassinations instead of being blamed for them (yes, Cap is The Catcher in the Rye author's son).

Ronny Cox as President Kimball is probably the biggest surprise in the cast, though. You’d expect the kidnapped president of the United States to just be a helpless plot device or even a dick, but no! Kimball is badass and resourceful, escaping on his own and being utterly willing to die just to foil Red Skull’s plans. When he finally gets to meet up with Cap near the end, they also have a really fun little dynamic going on. It’s so easy to make a shitty, unlikable douchebag president so it was just refreshing seeing a noble, selfless, and likable one, even though such a thing makes it glaringly obvious this is a work of fiction.

THE BAD

Look, this is a low-budget action movie and it shows. The action scenes are few and far between, and when they show up you can see where a lot of the corners were cut. Not to say there’s nothing good, but when half of the scenes feature Cap running away rather than kicking everyone’s ass, you know there’s a problem. There’s also a lot of really bad acting, particularly from the non-Red Skull villains. Like these guys just have awful line reads. And don’t get me started on the wings on Cap’s helmet. I am more charmed than mad at how silly it looks, but I’d be remiss not to mention it.

Of course, the bigger problem is just some of the weird creative choices. Changing the Red Skull from a Nazi to a fascist Italian lab rat is the big one, as is only letting him keep his iconic look for a brief window. While the latter is presumably due to budgetary reasons, the former is strange because while his new backstory does garner him some sympathy it’s just… not really dealt with at all? Like it never comes up after the opening, at least not until Cap weaponizes his trauma to give him PTSD flashbacks in the climax. It’s not glaringly awful but the fact they do pretty much nothing with it and have Skull be a scheming, unashamedly evil supervillain makes this feel like a forced attempt to garner pity from the audience.

Then we have Cap. Yes, Salinger does a great job with him and makes him extremely charming and likable, especially in the corny ways Cap should be, but the writing of the film also kind of makes him a dick in a couple of moments. I am of course referring to the two times he fakes carsickness in order to jack a car. Yes, seriously. I think people do harp in this too much—it’s not a huge dealbreaker and both times he is at least a little justified as to why he does it—but it is so strange to see Cap do something so petty and ridiculous that I have to mention it. At least it’s pretty hilarious.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

So. You thought I was going to hate this movie.

For the first time I held a poll asking what viewers of my blog predicted what my opinion of the film would be, with the negative option winning by a very slim margin. Considering this movie’s reputation, it’s easy to see why, especially since as a big superhero movie fan and an ardent MCU defender I at least try and have some standards. But as a B-movie lover and a trashy cinema aficionado, it was pretty impossible not to be charmed by this film.

Yes, this film has tons of issues because of its tiny budget. No, this is not some pitch-perfect adapatation or an awesome action showcase. Yes, it is unbelievably corny. But I think in the vein of the unreleased Fantastic Four movie, this film has something a lot of other superhero films of the time don’t: Heart. This film has personality oozing from every pore, and for everything it does poorly or weirdly it makes up for with how well it understands core aspects of Steve Rogers and Red Skull. Salinger and Paulin really do carry this film, their acting paving over the cheap action and the janky acting of the villainous goons.

If you like cheesy 90s B-movie action films, you will love this. As the world’s only unironic Street Fighter fan, I am definitely deep into that category, and so I think this film is definitely worthwhile. I gave it a 7/10, but I think realistically it should be in maybe the high 5s or low 6s. This is a cheap, janky film, but it is full of heart and charm. It’s hard to love, but it’s damn near impossible to hate. At any rate, it's always interesting to go back and see what superhero films were like back in the day before they had to be cogs in an overarching franchise.

[ranticore]

im so curious about the kitchen nightmares au, is félix a waiter? are erica and jean creating crimes against the culinary arts in the back? why is esk of all people gordon ramsay

relevant background info was that when i first got my ipad and was getting to grips with procreate, i was also drafting the first go at mvf so i was drawing mostly refs and character designs, and while i was doing that on an ipad i realised that i could, for the first time ever, watch something on another screen while drawing. guess what i watched

this super old art was one of my first paintings all in procreate and i did it while watching kitchen nightmares. love the show (uk version only), it's absolutely terrible and fake and ramsay sucks but something Compels me

i drew a series of fake interview portraits for all main characters of mvf, as different staff members in a failing restaurant on the show. esk who was kind of the straight man/critical voice of the group ended up being the celebrity chef

anyway the basic plot is they work at a tacky outdated italian trattoria with all that entails, that serves french cuisine, in the year 2005. the restaurant was a money laundering front owned by helena but she was an absentee owner who would deny any claim over the restaurant flaws and be generally away & uncooperative

the restaurant was failing because it looked awful and the food was not good but also because the staff could not work well with one another and the constant arguments that customers would overhear was turning them off

the person who called in gordon ramsnake was the restaurant manager, Félix, in a very roundabout attempt to try to bring heat down on Helena

general overview of the staff & their flaws

Manager (Félix) - actively embezzling from the business, basically a middle manager tyrant trying to control everyone else, ambition of becoming the owner one day (and then they'll ALL see). Would deflect the blame for the restaurant's issues onto every single other person except Francis because he can do no wrong ever. Aw jeez guys we just don't know where the money is going!! Don't look at his meticulously-kept, well-hidden balance books or his incongruously nice car. He looks like the sleaziest businessman you have ever seen.

Head Chef (Jean, you guessed right) - confrontational and rude, could not accept criticism no matter what and would pick fights with customers who sent the food back. He could cook decently but only to his own schedule and preference. The type to go "my food is perfect and nobody can teach me anything" before esk convinces the owner to hire a new head chef who can actually listen to feedback. His prized menu hasn't changed in 7 years.

Front of House (Islin) - zero charm or charisma but otherwise pretty sincere, though it IS weird that an ordained priest is working here and not in a church somewhere. He explains in an interview around the back of the restaurant that he's identified a new route to finding converts because just knocking on people's doors hasn't had a good return. He has zero interest in any aspect of the restaurant experience. Attempts to preach to most of the diners.

Head Waiter (Erica) - he's clearly had no training and is never where he's supposed to be at any given time, and it almost looks like he's ambushing the diners while they're mid-bite on purpose. Calculated bare-minimum work while spending most of his time in the kitchens for some reason. In the course of the episode it's discovered that he makes a decent cook and gets relocated. He had a habit of telling customers that the food was bad even if it wasn't.

Barman (Francis) - eager to please and maybe the only truly friendly face in the restaurant, he's the only reason anyone comes back. But he has an inconvenient habit of giving steep discounts to women, so the bar almost never turns a profit. There have been a few complaints about Barman's inappropriate advances from diners & the fact that his shirt is always a little bit too open. He seems to believe that there's nothing wrong with the place and it's a perfectly legit successful business, so it's hard to get through to him to change his behaviour. Won't hear a word of criticism against Félix or Islin.

Sous-chef (Léá) - hates it here hates every second of every day can't stand anyone wants to be out of there asap but she knows she lacks the experience to actually be a sous-chef in a legitimate restaurant, which means she'd take a pay cut if she tried to find work anywhere else, so she's trapped. She has a habit of throwing parsley garnish far too liberally over every single dish because she read in a book from the 90s that this is how you get a Michelin star

Rival Restaurateur (Senca) - she runs an equally tacky fake unpopular italian trattoria across the street and she's been trying to get Helena's one shut down for years by doing various etsy badluck curses and getting the hygiene inspectors called on them but it hasn't worked yet. She suggested to Félix that maybe trying to get the restaurant on TV would draw enough negative attention to get it shut down (and then he could reopen it of course). She's a bit surprised he actually went and did it even though the show could not have been less flattering towards him and he's essentially turbo-nuked his own reputation into the dirt forever. But she's waiting behind the scenes to make an insultingly-cheap offer and then they'll ALL see

over the course of the episode the above flaws are identified. esk attempts to propose a remodel of the tired décor which is fiercely resisted by Félix because he kind of likes the fake tuscany look but eventually he gives in and the place is given a modern and fresh feel. it draws a crowd on its reopening night but the staff struggle to meet the demand, unused to such numbers, and it ends up with Jean refusing to cook and walking out (he's fired shortly after).

they regroup and organise a charming promo event where they serve real french cuisine in a stall outside (oysters mostly) to draw customers for a new lunchtime service. this is well-received because new Head Chef Léa (now even MORE trapped in a role she has no real claim to) doesn't have to cook the oysters so she can't fuck them up. Félix actually tries to be receptive to the staff he's managing, for once, and he does a good job of supporting them and finally effectively managing the floor.

episode ends with Esk walking away and wondering if it left the restaurant in good hands, concluding that "only time will tell". there's a sequence of the restaurant's one successful lunch service, everyone smiling and working well and diners happy, with the text "RESTAURANT closed its business in August 2005, three months after the filming of this episode".

Esk goes back to interview the owner and ask why it failed, and Helena just explains that she sold it and moved on while dodging every other question. Esk berates her for having no passion for the business, calls her lazy and immature, and she simply walks out of the interview.

[pasiione]

Romemates in Italy - Chapter 3

She booked a solo trip to Rome to escape her crumbling routine—what she didn’t expect was ending up in the seat next to a brooding, gorgeous stranger. A plane seating mix-up, neighboring rooms, and a series of uncanny coincidences later... solitude isn’t exactly going as planned. She's not looking for a fling. But in the city of love, temptation checks in right beside her.

or

You and Bucky decide to spend your vacation with each other.

You woke up the next morning with the faintest hint of a smile still tugging at your lips. Last night had been... unexpected. In a good way. A very good way. Bucky was easy to talk to, charming without trying, and made you feel more relaxed than you had in months. You’d both exchanged numbers before saying goodnight in the hallway, and it hadn’t even felt awkward. Just natural. Like you'd known each other longer than a few hours.

Your phone buzzed just as you were brushing your teeth. You couldn't help but let out a smile when you saw who was texting you.

Bucky: Good morning sleepy head, you up? You: You know it, bright and early! Also good morning.

Bucky: Hope you slept okay. Wanted to let you know that I rented us a sweet ride for the day.

You: Oooh, I wonder what it is. Tell me pls...?

Bucky: It's going to be a surprise. Meet you downstairs in an hour? Wear pants, not a skirt or dress.

You: Okay. See you in a little bit.

You stared at the message for a second, blinking. Sweet ride? That could mean anything. For some reason, your mind immediately jumped to some slick European sports car. A convertible, maybe.

Still, you took his advice seriously and dressed the part. Loose linen pants, a breezy top, your most walkable sandals, and a little extra mascara. Just enough to make you feel cute. You let your hair fall how it wanted, spritzed a little perfume, and checked yourself in the mirror.

Then came the stairs.

The elevator was, of course, out of service.

You stared at the sign taped across the doors with a flat expression, hands on your hips. "Seriously?"

Four flights down, you cursed the last two steps under your breath, wiping the light sheen of sweat from your brow with a tissue as you reached the lobby. Bucky was already there, leaning casually against the wall near the entrance. He wore a dark grey T-shirt and black jeans that hugged his thighs perfectly and somehow made him look like a walking daydream.

He looked up from his phone and smiled when he saw you.

"Hey," he said, pocketing his phone. "You made it."

"Barely," you replied, fanning yourself with your hand. "Elevator’s out. I think my calves aged ten years."

He chuckled. "Worth it though. You look great."

You tried to play it cool, though your heart skipped a beat. "Thanks. You don't look bad yourself."

He shifted uncomfortably at your complement but didn't say anything in response.

"So..." you continued "where’s this sweet ride you promised?"

He tilted his head toward the curb outside. You followed him out—and then blinked.

A vespa. A bright red, gleaming, very real vespa.

You stared.

"You’ve got to be kidding."

Bucky gave a guilty shrug, fighting a grin. "It is technically a sweet ride."

You laughed in disbelief, hands on your hips. "When you said 'ride,' I thought—"

"A car?" he finished for you, mock-offended. "What, and miss the full Italian experience? The streets here are, like, three feet wide. You try navigating that in a car. This is way better."

You sighed dramatically. "You’re lucky you’re good looking, any other random man I would've never done this with."

He put his hand behind his neck acting all stiff again. Weird you thought to yourself. The first time you didn't say anything or think much about it, but twice in a row. He must not like getting complements. 

He smiled and handed you a helmet. "Ready?"

"As I’ll ever be."

Climbing onto the back of the vespa felt more intimate than you expected. Your arms instinctively wrapped around his middle as he started the engine, the vibration humming through your legs. You tried to ignore the fact that your cheek was nearly resting against his shoulder.

The vespa zipped off, and immediately, your nervous energy transformed into pure joy. The breeze, the sounds, the warm morning sun, it was just like all those movies you used to binge after work. Expect this time you weren't just watching it, it was real life.

You passed ancient stone buildings, narrow alleys bursting with color and charm, cafes spilling onto sidewalks with tiny tables and the scent of fresh espresso in the air. Children played soccer in alleyways, a couple shared a kiss on a shaded bench, and laundry flapped from balcony to balcony above your head.

You yelled over the wind, "Okay, I admit it, this is actually fun!"

Bucky glanced back briefly with a smirk. "Told you."

He drove carefully, weaving through traffic like he'd done it a dozen times. Eventually, he pulled off onto a quieter road that wound up a hill, revealing a small, scenic overlook. He parked and killed the engine.

"Thought we’d start here," he said, hopping off and taking off his helmet.

You followed, a little wobbly on your feet but smiling as you looked out over the city below. Terracotta rooftops, winding roads, and the curve of the Tiber River. Rome spread out before you like a painting.

You leaned against the stone ledge. "Wow."

"Right?"

You glanced at him. "Thanks for not telling me we were doing this."

He raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Because if you had, I probably would’ve said no. And I would’ve missed out."

His smile softened. "Guess I’ll have to keep surprising you then."

Before the conversation was continued, the two of you were interrupted by an older gentlemen.

“Scusate! You two make a beautiful young couple."

Before you could say anything, he was already gesturing toward the skyline and pulling a old looking polaroid camera from his bag. 

Would you like a photo with the view?” he asks while starting the camera up and putting it into position. This man was clearly expecting a yes, and who you to correct him or even deny his offer. Something about the way he’d said it made your cheeks heat up. You looked at Bucky, who blinked in surprise and then gave the man a polite nod, wordlessly deferring to you.

And, well… if rom-coms had taught you anything, it was that pretending to be a couple often came with perks—free wine, extra desserts, better seats. Who were you to ruin the fantasy?

"Sure," you said with an easy smile, stepping a little closer to Bucky.

He didn’t hesitate. His arm slipped around your waist in a way that was gentle but solid, like he’d done it before, or like it was the most natural thing in the world. You tried not to tense or lean in too obviously but your body betrayed you and softened into his just a little too easily.

The man took a two pictures and handed them to you, smiling like he’d just witnessed something sweet.

You said your goodbyes to one another, as you were trying to ignore the way Bucky's arm lingered around your waist for a half-second too long before he let go. You glanced at him and found him already looking at you, an unreadable expression in his face.

“Guess we’ll have to tip him for the compliment,” you joked, trying to shake off the moment.

Bucky smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

You turned to admire the view again, but you could still feel the ghost of his hand at your waist warm, steady, careful. And in the quiet that followed, you couldn’t help but think: the way your heart had fluttered when he touched you… it didn’t feel casual at all.

Bucky was quiet for a moment, still looking out over the city, arms folded across his chest. The wind picked up slightly, lifting the hem of your shirt and brushing your hair back from your face.

“I, uh… wasn’t expecting that,” he said, voice low.

“The picture thing?”

He nodded, a dry laugh slipping out. “Yeah. You handled it well.”

You shrugged, turning to face him more fully. “What can I say? I’m a sucker for a good cinematic moment. Felt wrong to ruin the illusion.”

He looked at you then, fully. “So you’re a romantic.”

You held his gaze. “Hopeless.”

He smiled, but there was something more serious in his eyes now. Thoughtful. Curious. Like he wanted to ask you something but couldn’t quite bring himself to. Instead, he looked back out at the view.

“Guess I don’t really think that way,” he said after a pause.

You nudged him gently with your elbow. “What way?”

“The movie-magic thing. The meet-cute. The... running into each other again and again until it starts to feel like fate.”

You tilted your head. “So you think this is just coincidence?”

His mouth curved, but his answer was a quiet, “I’m not sure yet.”

That answer tugged something loose in your chest, but before you could unpack it, he pushed off from the ledge, tossing you your helmet.

“C’mon. We’ve got more Roman chaos to get into.”

-

The next stop was the wine bar, small and cozy and fragrant with aging oak and garlic and something vaguely floral. The elderly woman behind the counter greeted Bucky like an old friend, kissing both cheeks and ushering you both in without a word.

“Please tell me you didn’t flirt with her to get us free drinks,” you whispered.

Bucky smirked. “I would never.”

"This place was a recommendation," Bucky said, sipping his wine. "My friend swore it would change my life."

You raised your glass to him. "Cheers to good friends, then."

You both laughed as she poured you two a selection of reds and whites, each paired with a little plate of cheese or bread or chocolate. The wine was bold, earthy, crisp. You weren’t really listening to the descriptions; you were more interested in the way Bucky's eyes flicked to you when you tasted something new, waiting for your reaction, half-amused, half-invested.

“This one’s good,” you said, swirling your glass.

“You’ve said that about every single one,” he teased, resting his chin in his hand.

“Yeah, well. I’m not picky. I just like things that taste good.”

“That so?”

His tone was casual, but something about it made your stomach flip. You shot him a side glance but didn’t take the bait.

Instead, you popped a piece of cheese into your mouth and declared dramatically, “Okay, this is the best one. I’ve decided.”

He leaned in slightly. “You sure? Big commitment.”

You laughed and playfully smacked him across his arm

Next was the museum. You wandered through rooms filled with ancient sculptures and mosaics, the cool marble halls a welcome break from the heat. You didn’t rush. You admired each piece slowly, talking about your favorites, sometimes teasing each other about how you'd pose if someone made a statue of you. You and Bucky walked slowly, sometimes together, sometimes a little apart. Sometimes his hand brushed yours when you both moved to point at something, and neither of you mentioned it. But the tension stayed there.

At one point, you paused in front of a statue of a Roman warrior.

"He kinda looks like you," you said.

Bucky squinted at it. "I’ll take it. Dude’s got good bone structure."

You giggled and kept walking, brushing fingers along ancient stone.

There was something about being surrounded by centuries-old art that made everything feel slower. Like you were both stepping out of time for a while. The noise of the outside world faded. It was just you, him, and history.

At another time you paused in front of a painting. Soft brushstrokes of two lovers holding each other in a storm.

“Why do people always paint love like it’s a disaster?” you asked, arms folded loosely across your chest.

Bucky stood beside you. “Because sometimes it is?”

You gave him a side glance. “You don’t strike me as someone who runs from disasters.”

He hesitated. “I’ve seen enough of them to know they’re not always worth the rebuild.”

That caught you off guard. For a second, you forgot where you were, forgot how little you actually knew about him. But the look in his eyes… it was real. A glimpse into something deeper.

You reached out instinctively and touched his arm—light, fleeting. “Then maybe you just haven’t found one worth rebuilding yet.”

He looked down at where your fingers had been, then slowly back up at you.

But again, he said nothing.

He didn’t need to.

-

By the time you stepped out of the museum, the sun was just beginning to dip, casting long shadows across the cobblestones. Your legs were sore and your feet a little tired, but your spirit felt light.

Bucky turned to you. "Still no plan, huh?"

You shook your head. "Nope. But today was perfect."

He nodded once, quietly. "Yeah. It kinda was."

As you reached the vespa, Bucky handed you your helmet.

“Still trust me to drive?” he asked.

You smiled, slipping it on. “I trust you.”

You hadn’t meant to say it like that. But you had. And as he turned to start the engine, you thought you saw him pause for a beat, just a second, like the words had landed harder than they should’ve.

Then the engine roared to life, and the moment passed.

But your arms wrapped around him a little tighter this time.

And you didn’t let go.

And as you both drove down the street , the late afternoon sun painting golden streaks across the cobblestones, neither of you said what you were really thinking: that this day felt like the start of something.

Maybe not a plan. But definitely a beginning.

- Back at the hotel, you stepped into your room and immediately collapsed on the bed, limbs pleasantly heavy, skin still warm from the Roman sun. Your cheeks ached from smiling so much, and your feet were begging for mercy, but it had been worth it.

Today had felt like something you weren’t quite ready to name yet.

You sighed and rolled onto your side, staring at the ceiling for a moment before reaching for your phone on the nightstand. A single notification was waiting for you.

Bucky: You alive over there? Or did I accidentally kill you with carbs and sunshine?

You smiled instantly, your fingers hovering over the keyboard before typing back.

You: Barely. You did almost lose me to that fourth wine pour. But yeah. I’m alive. Feet = dead. Heart = confused. Brain = melted. But alive.

There was a short pause before your screen lit up again.

Bucky: Confused heart, huh? That sounds like a serious medical condition.

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help laughing softly.

You: It’s Italian-induced. Should wear off in a few weeks. Or intensify. TBD.

A longer pause this time. You imagined him lying in bed too — maybe shirtless, hair still messy, lit only by the soft glow of his phone. The image did nothing to help your heart situation.

Bucky: Today was fun. More fun than I expected. Thanks for not bailing when you saw the Vespa.

You smiled, your thumb brushing the edge of the screen before replying.

You: Thanks for not killing us on it. And yeah. Today was perfect., wouldn't have wanted it any other way. :)

Three blinking dots appeared. Then disappeared. Then returned.

Bucky: It was. You’re easy to be around. I didn’t realize how much I needed that. So thanks.

That made your chest squeeze a little. You bit your bottom lip, staring at the message for a few seconds before responding.

You: Well… I’m not going anywhere, at least not the for the next two weeks. So if you ever need more of that… I’m next door. Literally. Four feet away. But not in a creepy way.

A moment passed.

Bucky: Not creepy. Just convenient. Of course. Well, Goodnight. 

You: Goodnight, Bucky. I'll see you tomorrow?

Bucky: Yup.

You set your phone down slowly, smiling into the darkness.

And even though you were technically alone in your room… It didn’t really feel like it.

[hermiola]

Writer's Meme, 2024 Edition

I've been tagged by @turquoisedata 💜

-------------------------

How many works do you have on ao3?

14. 6 Good Omens + 8 MCU, but we have to go back to 2014 and 2016 for those. I also used to publish on an Italian fanfiction archive where I have 70 more fics (I went back to check and count them after approximately two thousand years and HOLY SHIT, I didn't remember them being so many! My first fic is more than 20 years old WTF).

What’s your total word count?

150.000 words on AO3. But I'm guessing it's waaay higher than that (the Italian archive doesn't show the word count 🥲).

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

My GO fics have the most kudos (given the popularity of the fandom + the fact that they're written in English and not in Italian). I have 6, so the top 5 is basically all of them:

Take a Little Love From Me (Pretty Woman AU)

Final Breakthrough (Now!) (Post-Season 2 Fix-It)

Crazy Little Thing (Called Love) (Non-S2-complying silliness)

When Hell Freezes Over (Human AU with magician!Crowley and critic!Aziraphale)

Let There Be Rock (First meeting after 1967)

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

I do! I don't get that many, so it's not overwhelming, and I just like to respond. As I said somewhere else, my experience in the GO fandom has been mostly a solitary one (recently not so much though!) so I just like to interact whenever I can.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I'm going to consider only the GO ones because I feel like the others have been written by another me entirely (also I'm not sure I even remember them).

So it's definitely Let There Be Rock.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I'd say all of them, but Take a Little Love From has a proper epilogue and everything. I guess their happiness has more space there than elsewhere.

Do you write crossovers?

I have in the past, but not anymore.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not that I know of.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not really. I LOOOOVE reading smut (especially in those chonky slow burn fics), but I can't bring myself to write explicit smut for some reason. I love describing the tension and the heat of the moment (I love UST so much I'm going to marry it tbh - like nothing makes me happier/hornier than two people who want to fuck each other but can't for some reason - am I edging myself? IDK) but when it comes to my own writing I feel like spelling out the details just ruins the moment. I do think it's my ace showing in some way. But, anyway, I read the filthiest filth so this definitely doesn't apply to reading. And who knows, maybe one day I'll try! I'm not ruling anything out.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I used to translate HP fics back in the day (from English to Italian). We're talking 20 years ago. And it's funny when you think about it, because I translate novels for work now 🤣

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, always back in the day with HP. I'm still friends IRL with the girl I wrote them with (we actually met because of HP) (this is as good a time as any to say FUCK YOU JKR).

What's your all-time favourite ship?

This depends on the hyper-fixation of the moment. I cannot multitask with my OTPs. If I get obsessed with a new one, I retire the previous one. Like I could split my life into different time periods just based on my OTPs. Ron/Hermione has been my personality for YEARSSSS, but now I can barely think about HP without cringing. Another BIG ONE was Clint/Natasha from the MCU (which explains my look here on Tumblr), but the MCU as a whole has gone a bit stale for me (with few exceptions). And now it's all about Crowley/Aziraphale - it's so bad I had to unretire from fanfiction writing after almost 10 years LOL.

(I like many other ships but not to the point of *obsession*).

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

The only one I can think of is a Clintasha Actors AU, but I don't think I have it anymore, and I wouldn't finish it even if I had.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogues and banter are my favourite things to write, and I think it shows.

What are your writing weaknesses?

English is not my first language, so my writing lacks variety I think. I feel like I have always the same phrases stuck in my head, so it's probably kind of repetitive, especially when compared to some of the fics I read. (But when I started writing my first GO fic in English I wasn't even sure I could *actually* do it, so I'm proud of myself either way!).

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think it's okay! I personally would ask a native speaker to help me (if possible) instead of going the Google Translate route. Being Italian and watching/reading almost exclusively in English I know how silly it sounds when the characters start speaking your language and they're saying nonsense (but no harm done even in this case, imo, especially in fanfics. In movies, though, it's just lazy!).

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

HP, back in 2004 (welp).

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

None, thankfully. If I'm writing fanfic it means I'm in the late stage of hyperfixation and I don't wish that on myself if I can help it. Like I used to read 50+ books a year before GO S2. It's bad!!!

What's your favourite fic you've written?

Take a Little Love From Me mainly because it's the one I've spent more time with.

Tagging some people if they feel like doing it (but no pressure at all!): @beerok23 - @sabotage-on-mercury - @gaiaseyes451 - @leviosally

[heavens-roses]

A long rant related to some takes I've seen from anons from hotsystemtakes that are genuinely just racist. Hi, I'm a Native Hawai'ian + Asian mixed POC, and today, we are going to talk about cultural appropriation within the system community. For reference I was raised in a predominantly white city and moved to a small US city that's still predominantly white. While my small city does have at least 2 other hawai'ian families, it is still hard to ever see my culture. Whether it be through our names, our tattoos, traditional dances, our chants, or simply seeing other families and people who look like me. Now you might be wondering what does all of this have to do with me a random system on the internet who thinks telling to stop using closed names is stupid? Here is your answer.

For decades starting in the in 1860 my people's king Kamehameha signed a law to regulate our names. This law was not repealed till 1967. This meant our names that have a very deep spiritual and familiar connection to who we were as people was ripped away from us. Next we have laws against Chinese and Japanese immigrants who were often targeted for hate and bigotry. There is a reason #stopasian hate became a thing in the first place as we experience racism and culture appropriation too. There are also many other minorities who likely have had similar experiences such as having your voice not heard in the conversation of racism within the CDD community, having their cultural names stolen, microagressions, and many others. I mainly mentioned my culture as well as Asian culture simply because those are the groups I typically fall under and I have a closer connection to.

You see all of this was not because our people were bad or because our cultures were wrong in any way. It's because our cultures, our lives, our beliefs were a threat to white folks. You now praise and love to fetisize each of us in your own way. You think now that we have a bigger population that it's ok, you can use our names that have genuine deep meaning to our people simply because you are an introject and have CDD. I've talked to many of my aunties and uncles*[1] about having haoles*[2] name themselves our names. We not only find it extremely disrespectful but to us shows the true lack of understanding for our culture. Our names are not simply given to us for no reason. Each was created us as individuals, we might be named after our grandparents, be given names after big parts of our lives, have names are also linked to our mana*[3] and who we are.

You claim you care about POC and to have our issues heard, yet when it comes to your own racism you are ignorant. You throw out that Kai is a name from many cultures and while while it's true. You should not use Kaimana as a name because it's not open for haoles to use freely. Yuri, a common name in both Japan as well as Russia + Ukraine, does not mean it is now suddenly open for non Japanese, Russian, and Ukrainians people. You still need a tie to those cultures in order for you to use it.

If you are white, I'm not sorry to say you're not allowed to have any conversation in our cultures names and who is allowed what. There are plenty of open culture names, whether they are Irish names, Scottish, Latin, Italian, French, and many more. Stop your damn bitching about but but my name is apart of your identity as a part/alter when you are literally ignoring our culture and history. Suck it up all you sound like is a whiney coloniser, an appropator, and most of all, someone who gives no respect for cultures that you were never a part of. I've seen this argument for the last 3 years of being out as a system. If you even as another minority can not respect someone else's culture and traditions, you can shut up and keep it to yourself. Also yes even if you are apart of a different minority group you are suddenly not exempt from being racist and appropriating cultures.

[1] not literal uncles/aunts - in my culture to refers to those older men/women who are hawai'ian or are apart of our culture

[2] a hawai'ian word for foreigners often times white people

[3] Mana is a Polynesian word for energy, spirit, power, and many more words. It's often spiritual in nature and is all around us.

[chibrary]

ARTICLE: "The plane journey that convinced Ferrari on Leclerc" (Autosport Plus, 2018)

While Ferrari is doing all it can to help minimise the pressure - with boss Maurizio Arrivabene saying this week that the only goal for next year is for Leclerc to gain experience and 'absorb' the tricks of the trade - there is a feeling that in reality it secretly expects much more.

To realise why that is, you have to wind back the clock a little and understand that the decision to sign Leclerc was not some spur-of-the-moment call forced upon Ferrari because it was in a rush to sign somebody.

Ferrari made its decision on the eve of the Italian Grand Prix to pick Leclerc over Kimi Raikkonen not because it had to, but because it wanted to.

Leclerc's speed was obvious. The need to potentially shake up the internal dynamic at Ferrari was real.

And those fears about it being too early for Leclerc, of a young man not able to cope with intense pressure and at risk of being burned out and thrown onto the scrap heap before he hit his peak? The team management's minds had already been put at ease on that front.

It is often said that the qualities of an individual are found not when they are celebrating success, but when they have to pick themselves up from the bad moments.

And in Leclerc's case, it was the way he was able to cope with the death of his father in 2017 that proved a defining moment in convincing Ferrari that he had all it takes to deal with the pressure of racing for the Prancing Horse.

For someone who was as close to his father as Leclerc was, that loss last year was deeply painful. And, coming in the middle of an intense battle for the Formula 2 crown, it could have been enough to trigger a loss of concentration and a drop in form.

But amid all the personal heartache Leclerc was suffering, Arrivabene recalls meeting him on the Ferrari charter flight to Baku that week, and how the youngster's attitude there left him in no doubts about his star qualities.

"I asked him how he was after losing his father a few days before," explains Arrivabene. "He replied that he wanted to win the race, and then go home for the funeral. That is exactly what he did.

"If a guy can handle these moments, I do not think that he will have problems adjusting to the pressure of F1."

Leclerc has spoken openly about how the emotional rollercoaster of that weekend - the crying in the helmet after he took pole position and then the wins - meant those were days where he grew up a lot.

It is important to remember though that Baku was not the first time in his career Leclerc has faced supreme challenges. He knows full well how to keep his head under control when things are not going the way he may have hoped.

There was the risk as he started out his career of being unable to continue karting because the funds were drying up. Only a bit of help from his brother Lorenzo's best friend, Jules Bianchi, in convincing Nicolas Todt to try to help, made the difference.

Even today Todt remembers a very nervous Leclerc being dressed in a super smart black suit for their first meeting... and impressing throughout.

Then there was the difficult time in the middle of his 2015 European Formula 3 campaign. Taking a seat in the Van Amersfoort team that Max Verstappen had shone so strongly for in '14, Leclerc began the season in fine form with a series of wins in the first half of the year.

But something - most likely related to a senior engineer departing mid-season for personal reasons - changed within the team and Leclerc found himself suddenly on the back foot over the second half of the year. Where once he was battling in the top three week in and week out, suddenly he was fighting to be in the top 10.

Leclerc had to dig deep to try to recover; find answers about what had gone wrong, as he came home fourth overall in the standings.

But a super strong showing in Macau, where he finished second right behind winner Felix Rosenqvist, suggested he had kept his focus and unlocked the answers that were needed.

That time also marked Leclerc's arrival in the Ferrari Driver Academy, which helped him both progress as a driver and also show more evidence that when the intensity and pressure increase, he just gets better.

As manager Todt recalls: "Ferrari has helped him in many ways. Physical, mental preparation and also the contribution of the simulator played an important role. Of course, even more pressure has come, as is normal when you are part of the Ferrari world.

"But we have found that the greater the pressure that Charles is subject to, the greater his performance on track. That is a fundamental aspect, because today in the paddock I think that all the drivers have excellent sporting skills. But what makes the difference is the head, and on this front Charles I think is very solid."

Vettel will not be unaware of how fast and how mentally strong Leclerc is. Even if he hadn't seen it for himself, he has probably been told well in advance by Arrivabene why Ferrari is convinced it has the right man.

Did that prompt Vettel's recent suggestions that it will be important that the pair of them work together - rather than against each other - for the good of the team? Is he seeing a shift in the sands at Maranello as things will be different to how they were with Raikkonen? Only Vettel knows the answer to that.

[shinyzango]

may i ask you an Italian-language question? there's a name im trying to blend together with Italian, and i could use some guidance if youre willing

i wanted to explore the idea (not married to it, i may end up not even doing anything with it, and im sure im not the first to think of this anyway— but i find it a fun thought-experiment and id love your help if youd be willing to offer it?) of merging Pinocchio and the Nutcracker as both a character and their plots. for funsies✨️

and i just would like some help with how to blend the name idea i had. and to get said help from someone who is, not only fluent in Italian, but is also a fellow Nutcracker nerd (i love your work btw!!) would be so lovely. and also you can tell me tell me if i accidentally am doing a dirty word/bad word/worse or any similar "don't, just stop" thing since im tragically monolingual. i just wanted to see if it's possible for this name to not be clunky or in poor form, would love your help if you're up to it. (if you or anyone reading ever want to use any name/s here, assuming they turn out to perhaps NOT be awful blendings of Pinocchio×Nutcracker?? then, yeah, feel free use as far as i care. i dont own jack shit)

also no worries if you dont want to help for any reason at all, you dont need to explain it to me, i can take a simple "I'd rather not help with this" and be respectful about the rejection. truly, no worries. just wanted your help IF youre willing to offer it

also apologies this is so long. i blame my ADHD mostly (tho i doubt my autism helps, i think its mostly the ADHD) with me going "eVERYTHING IS IMPORTANT" and my lifelong inability at being succinct

-

now, Pinocchio as a name, according to various sources such as but not limited to Wikipedia (who i will be quoting, bc copy and paste is easier since a lot of this Ask will be me transcribing from books 😭) and my copy of Pinocchio's own Foreward: is "possibly derived from the rare Tuscan form pinocchio ('pine nut') or constructed from pino ('pine tree, pine wood') and occhio ('eye')"

i don't know Tuscan forms of Italian for the rest of this, i only know what my dad's two Italian-English dictionaries told me for the rest of this ("Oh, your dad speaks Italian?" no, he does not. he tried to learn! he gave up. but he still has the books. mostly bc he's a hoarder, our home is VERY cluttered with his many things. but he used to go to Italy a lot, for a specific multi-year project that has long-since ended. we are not culturally/ethnically of Italian heritage, as far as i am aware. but still cool to look through these books!). and you're going to call me either stupid or smart, but at first, let's be clear: i was definitely stupid. i did not follow up my learning about Pinocchio's name-meaning with "What's a nutcracker/The Nutcracker in Italian? Surely the title of the book has been translated into Italian. What is the title in its Tuscan form?". i went straight to my dad's dictionaries to look up "crack" and its branches, said branches including the word "cracker". i wanted to see if i could take "Pino-" and add the Italian form of "Cracker, Cracking, Cracked, or similar" at the end. because, again, i was stupid, and i was taking the long and hard way for an easy answer

since, my dad's dictionaries didn't have "Pino" for ne to verify the alleged Wikipedia meaning with (fair enough, how often does "pine" come into conversation? idk), i had to google this because i wanted to make sure i knew if "Pino" was/wasn't the equivalent of "nuts" in English (as in a "Dude! You kicked me in my nuts!" slang or "Deez nuts" meme type of way) or was a slur or something else that i Do Not Want (with the margin of error that i am still monolingual and inexperienced in Italian and Italy's culture, and most websites for translating ive heard refer only to formal meanings and not so much slang. unless its multi-generational slang, like "cool" on English as a slang term would be likely in a Other Language-To-English website guide, since its a prime example of multi-generational slang. but "Skibidi rizz"? not so much). you never know nuances when youre monolingual, doing your best to navigate a foreign language (even if it's "just" for a name), i just wanted to check

i tried to see if i could see anything specific about the Tuscan variation of Italian's definition of "Pino" was, but all i got was stuff about pine in Tuscany and an artist by the name of Pino Daeni's painting titled "Tuscan Stroll". youd think that'd tell me "well, as least you know Pino can't be bad if it's this guy's name", to which i will remind you, up until recent decades, the name "Gay" was as common as the name "Joy", and English-users stopped using it as a name once the meaning became more synonymous with "queer" than "happy" (i say this as a queer person btw, dont mistake me saying "this name isnt common for obvious reasons" as me being queerphobic please, im just stating the fact thats its declined and we all know why). so Pino Daeni, born in either the 1930s or 1950s (sources differed on the same painting when he was born?), COULD have a name that is akin to "Gay" in the sense that it is NOW out of the possible-names-that-wont-get-your-kid-bullied category. oooorrr it could also be the equivalent timelessness as "Richard" (a name i chose specifically bc one of its nickname is "Dick" in English, and i still dont know if "Pino" or how any other word i discuss here is used in Italian slang. again, shinyzango, if youre willing, please help lol) i far as google and a few sites would tell me about "Pino" in Italian-Spanish sense specifically (and idk if that means it is the same in Italian AND Spanish or if Italian-Spanish is specific fusion/variant of the languages/s, im so sorry), "Pino" could be used in Italian to reference "Pine nuts" (YAY, I THINK WE MAYBE GOT AN IMPLIED "NUTS" FOR THIS NUTCRACKER-FUSION'S NAME EVERYBODY), "Pine wood" (as in the logs, the branches, specifically. though idk if that includes the tree's bark but i assume yes?), "Pine leaves", "the Pine tree itself", and, finally, the all-encompassing elusiveness of "Pine" in general. im really boping the "Pino" = "Pine (Nuts)" is accurate to what im trying to accomplish here, but what can you do, i dont have Tuscan forms of Italian stuff and google isnt coughing it up either

which i did TRY to look up Tuscan-forms of Italian words. and i was told it was a dialect, a still-living one at that (as opposed to the term: archiac dialect). but nothing is telling me its dictionary of how its vocabulary branches off and/or overlaps with the standard Italian language. the closest i could find on my own was Wikipedia's "Dialectal Features" section under its Tuscan Dialect article. and that is too above my pay-grade, it went into phoemes and graphemes and all that, i got Fs in those classes despite my best efforts and it's been at least 3+ years since my last class in that. nope. i am just accepting the Tuscan dialect of Italian is inaccessible to me rn (unless shinyzango (a) knows it for whatever reason and (b) wants to help with that. but this isnt me trying to pressure you. this is me acknowledging that idk your life, maybe you know the Tuscan form. and if you do know it and yet dont wanna help for whatever reason, all good, no bad blood). so, no matter how much research and thought i am trying to put in here, im still very lost and just doing my best. so, shinyzango, please be forgiving if i am making any faux-pas throughout this. i know "Pinocchio" is theorized to be a blend of two Tuscan-specific Italian words, but i just got "Pino-" and whatever i find that can come next for the Nutcracker half of this (hopefully successful? idk. im paranoid im fucking up somehow lol 💀) name-blending of these two wooden boys

anyway. so i continued to be stupid by thoughtlessly NOT choosing the easy and obvious method of looking up "a nutcracker/the Nutcracker" in Italian for this name-blend's second half. and yet?? somehow, my dad's two English-Italian dictionaries were nice to me and i got super lucky i wasnt told an alternative word. i was essentially given the one the Easy Method wouldve brought me. albeit the easy method wouldve brought me to it faster.. anyway, i got lucky. because within "crack"'s long list of Italian-specifities, i came across "(nut:) to crack — schiacciàre", which that shorthand meant "within the term 'to crack', for reference wanting to crack nuts specifically, you would use the word schiacciàre and its branches in Italian". i then went to schiacciàre's page in my dad's other Italian dictionary and saw the different forms of "schiacciàre"

the second dictionary confirmed most of the first dictionary. i was a little bit concerned that maybe schiacciàre was inaccurate? (obviously, this feeling went away when i did eventually do The Obvious and look up what "a nutcracker/The Nutcracker" was in Italian, but i didnt know that at the time when i was looking at this entry). because this dictionary said "Schiacciàre (Transitive) - (1.) To crush, to crack, to mash. Used in cooking. Per schiacciàre lo zenzero si può usare un coltello piatto. To crush the ginger, you can use a knife flat." which you can see in this first definition block, "to crack" being the second meaning and not in the example sentence made me a little bit worried on if this was the best word or not. again, i know now i didnt need to be worried, i now know the Italian word for "nutcracker/Nutcracker". but i was sticking by the path i was on for a bit longer, thought i might as well read the branches

which included its inflection term, the word everyone was waiting for— schiacchia! meaning "(a) cracker"! to which i did, after i was done reading the entire word's list of different forms, think "oh, i should look up a nutcracker, in general/The Nutcracker & The Mouse King's specific title in Italian". to which i got both the relief (bc i didnt choose the wrong word!) and the frustration (bc i maDE THIS SO MUCH HARDER ON MYSELF FOR NO REASON!) of seeing "a nutcracker" in Italian is lo schiaccianoci and "The Nutcracker & The Mouse King" is (Lo) Schiaccianoci e il Re dei topi (which i find the nuance of the grammar of fascinating! to translate it back to English, and with the matching capitalization included, the title would be "(The) Nutcracker and the King of mice". bc "The King of Mice" gives off a slightly different vibe as opposed to "The Mouse King". like, The Mouse King feels like epithet anyone with influence over mice could gain whereas the other (The King of Mice) feels both mundane and more legitimately royal, like this is definitely a political position, like "The Queen of England". at least thats the vibes diffentiating between the two in English. idk if my impression for "the vibes" of the Italian title is accurate in Italian. god, i wish i wasnt monolingual). anyway. so you think that'd be it, huh! i found the Italian form of "(a) cracker"! that's gotta be the other half of this proposed fusion name!

...but no, i do have a second option im kinda into. bc, again, i looked up "a nutcracker/The Nutcracker" AFTER looking through the WHOLE list. and what grabbed my attention reading the branches of the word "schiacciàre" was also the first-person singular present term that is schiàccio, which in English would assumedly be the equivalent means "(I) crack". as first-person singular present terms in English are as follows: "Am I?", "I am", "I go", "I write", "I weep". so, like, it's a present-tense verb + "I". that's all that "first-person singular present"-specific terms mean as far as i am aware. hence, my assumption that "schiàccio"'s English equivalent would be "(I) crack". and the Italian form of "I" isn't present, but i think it's implied??? (im so unsure, im so sorry lol) some stuff i read said the "I" doesn't have to be literally present to be explicit in Italian? so it's not in English, where something like "Wasn't thinking" has the missing-"I" that can be assumed to be present p easily despite its lack of literal presence— BUT in English, the lack of "I" makes that an improper sentence. it can said colloquially. but it isnt correct grammatically. and im saying i was lead to believe that the Italian-equivalent-of-"Wasn't thinking" would be considered a proper sentence and gramatically correct? so itd be more like "(I) Wasn't thinking", in a sense? and furthermore, i was lead to believe the specific conjagation of schiàccio in Italian would not need the "I" unless you were adding an "I" for emphasis? like "No, I cracked the nuts, not him" kind of emphasis? i feel like im making less sense the more i try to explain it. but that was my reasoning to structure "(I)" like that within "(I) crack"?? again, im doing my best amidst my Italian ignorance 😭

and, shinyzango, under the assumption youve decided to help me, if i have totally misunderstood Italian grammar, you can just say "you were lead astray about the (I)-thing you wrote up, that's not accurate" or "it's more complicated than that" and leave it at that. you dont have to give me an Italian grammar lesson. mostly bc i assume you dO NOT want to give me one lol i p much just wanna know if im right, wrong, or got mixed results. asking you to be an Italian grammar teacher is not something you advertise, i just was fascinated with how much presence does the "I"/"(I)" have in schiàccio because of the POTENTIAL(? BC I COULDVE BEEN WRONG ABOUT ALL THE "I"/(I)" STUFF, IM SO SORRY) thematic analysis potentially then within the name, as i discuss in the following paragraph

but i think, not only would the implied gramatical aspect of the Pinocchio-Nutcracker fusion having verb-form of "cracking" apart even in its very name would be neat as well as it being neat— but also the potential of applying personhood to themself in that said very name with the potentially-"invisible yet explicit" "(I)" i aforementioned (with great confusion and lack or sureness, but yeah, as i aforementioned) would possibly be a very important thematic element for a fusion of a puppet-boy who wants to be "a real boy" × a man who had his personhood stripped away from him through transforming into a nutcracker??? and to have it perist anyway? have his personhood remain silently within his name? to have it, invisible yet hold weight in his very identity-moniker itself?? that could be very powerful of such a little word like schiàccio to do, assuming it even can do that "(I)" thing it may/may not be able to do (and, again, all of this assuming i am not missing any nuance in Italian here and i doubt that. i doubt that very much. i definitely a missing something, i just know it)

OH but ALSO, with schiàccio, we get this implication of being overwhelmed of "cracking" under the pressure (idk if my understanding of that potential translation is at all correct in Italian. i apologize if my dad's dictionary is leading me astray in any of these definitions). because there was another entry in my dad's dictionary, "Schiacciàre (Transitive) - (2.) To crush, to overwhelm, to crack, to snap, to flatten. A figuritive form of speech. Lui lo rifiuto schiacciato. The rejection crushed him". so it could(?) refer to a type of ego-death, maybe? thats usually an incidental yet pivotal pillar of a theme in transformation-stories. y'know, the ship of Theseus thought-experiment personification of it all. but when we now apply schiàccio's "(I) crack" outside of the kitchen-definition of literal cracks, and instead into that second definition's figuritive form, we now get this type of mental-breakdown implication? this Italian-specific warning for angst up ahead, literally tied to the guy's name? i think thats neat, assuming im understanding it correctly. foreshadows to the tragedy and hardships lol

plus, we also get the "-o" at the end of "schiàccio", assuming it's workable with "Pino-" without any problems. and that ending "-o", i think, links a bit more of the paralleism to Pinocchio's original name, at least visually? idk. maybe thats just me. that's a nit-pick of a bonus anyway

so this was a very long ask, all to beg the question/s, under the assumption youre willing to help me here (no worries if not, shinyzango, you do not have to help me at all if you dont wish to) is there something in your Italian fluency that sees a "anon, no, you dont want that" nonsense nuance-meaning in either of these Pinocchio-Nutcracker blended names im missing? a hidden dirty joke im fully unaware of?? is there one that flows better than the other? is the format weird? are they both shitty? lol idk what to ask specifically for what could be wrong here, but?? please? and thank you??

Pinoschiaccio

Pinoschiaccia

but yeah, any help you can offer would be much appreciated. dont worry if you dont have any help, if you dont want to give me any, eithet way, we're all good. i just hope i didnt commit any faux-pas in asking you all this. thank you so much for your time

Don't worry, thank you for asking me.

I just have to warn you that while I am native Italian, my grammar is also very bad LOL But I'll still try to give my input at the best of my capabilites.

Also while I'm not going to go through each single point of your ask to save up some time, do tell me if I missed something important to answer, as sadly big wall of texts tend to fry my brain and I end up missing on some parts as I read through (NOT YOUT FAULT! It's just my brain being dumb ksjdgn)

Anyways, onto your ask:

first of all, welcome to the world of learning a different language that do not share the same lingual roots LOL

Sadly I can't help much with the Tuscan language as I'm not from Tuscany and I'm not a linguist, but I can tell you that Pinocchio, while including the common Italian male name "Pino", to me it feels like it's may also be because the doll was sculpted with pine wood, which has the charateristic of having many knots (eyes, so "occhi") in its pattern. Buuuuut apparently in the original book by Collodi, he was named Pinocchio after a rich family of the same name, as a way to grant him good luck. So at this point I don't know LOL

And yeah nutcracker in italian is "schiaccianoci", which literally translates to "crack walnuts" althought it's meant for nuts in general. (fun fact: as a generic name for nuts we use "frutta secca", which translates to "dry fruits", which is not to be confused with "frutta essicata", which is "dried fruits".)

As for the other grammar notions:

yeah we almost never put adjectives before the subjects. In such case as the Mouse King, the correct way is "Re dei Topi", aka "King of the Mice". We could also use "Topo Re", but it's usually as a title/name said to make more of an effect.

For the whole "I" debate, yes in Italian we can easily drop the subject in our sentences because the verbs have all the variants that are specific to the person (I, you, them) and the quantity referred to (singular, plural). I do have to admit that I still tend to drop the subject when I speak in english out of habit because of this pffff.

And one last notion just to add more madness to this mess of a language, accents on vowels can drastically change words' meaning. For example, "schiaccio" and "schiacciò", while still having the same meaning of "crack", it's actually different tenses and subject. "schiaccio" is "I crack" (present). "schiacciò" is "They (singular) cracked" (past).

(btw I'm not writing "schiàccio" because it's not normally written with the à, in case you were wondering. the more common accents are not written unless you specifically need it to differentiate which one you're intending)

So yeah, I don't blame anyone who get incredibly confused when trying to understand Italian dkgnsdkj

Also yeah the verb "schiacciare" can have a bunch of different meanings depending on the context, both literally and figuratively, although I can't really tell any at the top of my head;;

Anyways, putting this whole Italian notion aside, let's get to the real point of the ask:

I can see why you came to the conclusion of going with Pinoschiaccio/a, which is completely fair. But if I were you, I would switch them around as it would sound more natural.

So personally, I would go with Schiacciapino.

And if it can help with anything, I can also add this extra italian notion: while we have a bunch of words that end in "-ino" such as Pino, it is one of the suffixes we use to change the "adjective" of the word. In this case, "-ino" is used to indicate something small (ie. "Gatto - Gattino" = "Cat - Small Cat/Kitten", or "Topo - Topino" = "Mouse - Small Mouse". And also yes another fun fact, "Topolino" is another way to say small mouse, althought in a cuter way. And it's what we call Mickey Mouse here in Italy. Same with Donald Duck, which we call "Paperino", aka "Small Duck". The more you know :V) Anyways yeah, just a small extra information in case it could be of any use for your story.

BIT OF A DISCLAIMER: sadly I can't tell you if this does in fact lead into ambiguity territory as sadly if there is any, I am not aware of it. I would have to ask other fellow Italians to give their own opinion about it.

--

Anyways I'm ending this rambling of mine. I'm not that better after all SDLGKNB

I hope I was able to clear up your doubts and questions! And again, if I ended up missing some points, do let me know!

[helluva-insomniac]

Headcannons for Hazbin Hotel characters pt. 2

Some of these characters weren’t seen in the pilot, but I’m hoping they’re in the rest of the show so I still added them

Cherri Bomb-

She tries to help Angel get out of his contract with Valentino, but Angel does his best not to let her

She sets aside 3 days a week for self-care, turf wars take a lot out of a girl, you know?

She’s accidentally blown up some of her own stuff with her bombs before, those are bad days

Sir Pentious-

Doesn’t like Alastor because he’s “too modern” despite trying to be more modern himself

“How do you do, fellow kids?”

One of his songs for his music band got number one for like an hour, little did he know it was because people were showing it to their friends because of how bad it was

Outside of turf wars, Sir Pentious treats the egg bois like his children

Molly-

Is only in hell because she has such close ties with the mafia, but also she can DEFINITELY shoot and probably went on a hit once or twice to help her brothers

World’s best Italian chef, she had to learn how to cook quickly after her mother’s death because “the help can’t help forever, Molly, grow up.”

Hosts HUGE Christmas celebrations every year, they are catholic after all, but mostly it’s for the food

She has the Thickest Italian accent known to mankind

Arackniss-

Is with Sir Pentious (still have no idea where that ship came from. Love it)

The only reason he goes to Christmas at Molly’s is for the food

For a while, he only sees Angel every few years, but the brothers act like they’ve never been apart when they’re together

Speaks almost exclusively in Italian unless it’s for work and the other doesn’t know the language

Also treats the Egg Bois like they’re his kids. It’s one big happy family

Baxter-

Can be seen about once a year on a random Tuesday at the grocery store

Most experiments he attempts blow up in his face

The only other times he’s seen is at the hotel making plans with Alastor if he needs something

A True introvert

[myteavsricochet]

jeez guys, 10 asks on the same topic that basically all say the same thing is too much for me and my Italian brain that can't write in English 😭 I'll try to throw everything I think in various steps here, I don't know if it will make sense but it's the best I can offer. Then we will put a stone to rest on this subject, okay?

1. It's not true that the rwrb fandom is not supportive of the boys' projects and work and would like them to simply remain attached to the film their whole lives. It's a somewhat immature thought and you know very well that it's not like that. I use both this social and twitter a lot and I see how much hype and support there is for Mary & George from the people who madly love rwrb and have been talking about it for months. Everyone is so enthusiastic and excited about what Nick is doing. But we are also all human beings and I see absolutely no lack of respect in dreaming and wishing that the boys, despite their work, talk about a film that none of us were able to experience with promos, premieres, red carpets and everything else and exactly for that there is so much desire for it because we haven't heard much about it from them, not as it should have been at least.

Dreaming of hearing about a film that meant so much to so many people cannot be a sin or a shame. The feeling is so strong for many precisely because there wasn't everything that was supposed to be there for that film and it doesn't mean, I repeat, that Mary & George isn't respected or that Nick is expected to only talk about rwrb while doing promo for that project. Really no one thinks such a thing, no one is so delusional or disrespectful. Don't worry. But let people still be excited about rwrb, they don't do anything bad, they don't hurt anyone, Nick will carry on with his job anyway and nothing will change for you and him.

2. the podcast: I reiterate that context matters. I can understand if for some it may have seemed like a cold and detached response at first glance, especially if they only read quotes from the audio and didn't have a realistic idea of ​​the interview. It's ok if you felt sad for a second, don't feel guilty about it if you didn't react badly against nick.

But let's definitely clarify what is said in the podcast: The interviewer talks to Nick about the impact of rwrb as fame and success after the film, he replies that the thing he is most interested in is how it opened doors for him to other opportunities job and the possibility of working on the projects that he really wants to do.

He meant that: more than fame he is happy that a film like that gave him this great chance to now do what he wants like an actor which is exactly what all actors want in their career.

He never said that that was the only thing that mattered to him and that was the only reason he made that film. He never said it.

Taylor also had a great chance with rwrb and we say it constantly, it opened so many doors for him, he will get new projects because of that movie, we see him now doing things he loves because of the success of that movie and he would say the same thing too.

In the podcast the question was specific and he answered specifically. For the rest we know how much Nick loves Henry. We have interviews where he talks about him and the film and Taylor with his heart on his sleeve. We have Matthew saying he protected Henry and knew him better than anyone. Better than him and Casey. We have Nick who in his first post after months says how hard it was not to talk about Henry. We have Nick who during the strike liked all the possible fancams on Henry because it was the only way he had to show that he was there with us. And many other things so it's absurd to think now that this has changed because it hasn't. We will have more interviews in the next few days where it seems clearly they will also talk about rwrb and we will hear more from him there.

One thing you constantly forget about is how different Nick and Taylor are in the way they approach things. Nick is more introverted, we'll probably never see him jumping and dancing while talking about rwrb like T does, but that doesn't mean he cares any less or doesn't have the desire to talk about it. Even during interviews for M&G he is always quite nervous and even embarrassed despite the fact that he is talking about the project he is promoting and of which he is very proud.

3. the sequel: I no longer have the strength to deal with this honestly, it's clear that until they give you the announcement you will never believe anything and it's easier to be negative than to put all the pieces together over these months and understand that you just have to be patient. Nobody today would do these constant teases about the sequel if there really wasn't the possibility or one of the lead actors wasn't interested. Taylor wouldn't keep saying he hopes for a sequel and it would be great to do so if he knew Nick wasn't on board or that his co-star hated that project. I swear to you, he's not that desperate, trust me.

The cast of rwrb is very close, all of them, even with nick and you see it constantly and there's really nothing more to say about this.

4. the haters: Those solo nick stans didn't need another reason to throw taylor and rwrb under the bus yet they found another excuse because people are stupid. The fact that they think he can actually say something like that about that movie with that intention and be happy about it shows how much they don't understand shit about who they follow. That there are also strange accounts solo taylor stan who always have to complain about something is equally true and they should all be collectively ignored and left alone because the reactions do more damage than the actual controversies.

I have nothing else to say and I don't think I will say anything else, thank you for getting this far and I apologize for the delirium. peace and love ❤️

[squidthesquidd]

HELLOOOOOOOO THEREEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Do you have any Tf Ocs? or Ocs in general? Asking for no reason (:

-🪐

oh my god so many so many transformers OCs😭 I only have one drawn so far so im just gonna infodump on you so hard

Clapperclaw- my FIRST actual transformer oc :3 hes a lil guy and hes designed to look like a bird!!! and he transforms into a mosquito helicopter! He used to be a decepticon, but he defected after a series of events that kinda made him have an identity crisis.. alsooo hes conjuxed to MisClick!! who ill talk abt now

MisClick- Big blue tank thing!!!! shes a scientist and doesn't prefer fighting, but shes huge and buff and can protect herself verrry well. She was also a decepticon, but didn't really care for sides all the much, but stayed with the decepticons for convenience (first faction that found her, her partner was part of them, they had the materials she wanted for her experiments) but when Clapper defected, she did too.

Current- also a scientist, and specializes in chemistry and biology mostly. and he turns into a boat!!! a big as hell yacht!!! so he a reaall big bot. hes an autobot and in most versions of him hes really close with optimus cus yayyy :3 also his face got fucked up in one of his experiments (acid burns teehee) so he wears a mask most of the time

Pike- okay soo... this guy isss complicated??? the initial reason i made him was for transformers reader insert fic reasons, and then he just kinda stuck around in my brain. sometimes hes with megatron, sometimes with someone else, hes an autobot and a decepticon at the same time , i dont fucking know. the only constant is that he's ancient and doesnt eat energon like a normal person (he doesnt really eat energon at all, he feeds off the energy thats always being dispelled by other bots. hes silly like that)

Crimson- now this guy silly!!! hes tiny and has a liiiittle bit of an italian accent cus his alt-mode is based on my dads car which is a really old alfa romeo (which are italian cars :3) hes silly and always super optimistic and is the reason that Tine eventually joined the autobots

Tine- (placeholder name) Saddest guy on the block. wasn't on a side and was doing his best to survive. kills on sight, takes no risks, serious as FUCK. hated everyone and everything until meeting crimson. saw a silly old man so full of joy and whimsy he couldn't help but fall in love lmao. still very wary around everyone else but can and will kill for crimson (also his alt is a jeep btw)

Prodsling- yeah this is a cowboy. texas accent , would wear a cowboy hat if he could, likes to pet cows and horses, loves driving through mud. hes like a chill southern granpa that sits on a porch and gives weird advice and makes farm animal noises. turn into a pickup truck ofc

Shiver- Weirdest girl on the block. literally your local cryptid that watches u from the shadowy corners and knows all your secrets. actually quite sweet but has the autism that makes you strange and unsettling <3 alt is like??? i dunno some cool black car. she walks silently and is so good at eavesdropping

Polyphon- weird little decepticon kid that wants to be friends with soundwave SO BAD. wants to party, covered in rainbow biologhts. RAVE BOY RAVE TIME!!! has speakers on him :3 here to have a good time not a long time 🎉

Vironmet- Little old lady in the woods that loves to meditate and talk to animals. will NOT HESITATE TO THROW DOWN if you fuck of the forest or anything living in it. bakes you a pie but if your mean to dogs its poisoned. basically what if tfa prowl was a little lady that killed. she turns into a Squirrel i think

Matte- Mercedes that does not quit. stares into peoples eyes menacingly all day. wants to bite. most fucking stubborn guy ever. Only loosely tied to the autobots and just does his own thing, cus literally no one can handle him!!!!!

Nano- tiny little medic! about the size or a human and her alt is basically a swiss-army medical tool! so shes made to have other bots handles her. also shes basically Ratchets child for funsies. tiny, bitey, ready to be covered in energon when its surgery time!!!!

aaand thats a out it so far! I dont have a lot of time to draw them cus im in college snd have ine million assignments 😭 but ill try!!! so watch out for em!!

[augment-techs]

nonrequired reading, by wislawa szymborska

Why he wasn't infected remains a mystery.

The importance of being scared.

The character who shows up most often is Death.

It's called the instinct for withholding blows.

Animals often fight within the bounds of their own species, but their battles as a rule end bloodlessly.

But I vividly recall a brightly colored plaster model of an alcoholics liver.

"I'd like to wake up in eighteenth-century Warsaw."

Fate casts them most often as "the other woman."

Compulsory happiness.

With profit and horror.

The cost of Chivalry.

Soldiery is chiefly a financial undertaking.

The light falling from the window onto the black-and-white marble floor.

Thin as a rail this time.

But don't let anyone think for a minute that conjuring charms was a bed of roses, an easy way to earn one's daily bread.

I have no intention of setting up a home terrarium.

Begone, oh starlings, sparrows, crows, rooks, and jackdaws!

But the green dragon did not enter the peach-colored lake in vain.

Great love is never justified.

Unfortunately, her experience is of no use to anybody else.

This psychosis didn't simply vanish on its own.

Goodness is helpless without wits.

I don't like the word "handyman," but of course I admire the people it describes.

Nowhere to hide.

You simply don't have the time or energy.

At dawn his coffee is served in bed...

Do they even live long enough to get sick?

The smaller the animal, the quicker its metabolism.

Hence, they began to castrate them.

In the palace a hundred rooms, and in every room, Persian rugs, Flemish hangings, Italian paintings, and on every table goblets of Venetian glass are bobbing...

Wildflowers, in their opinions, are suitable only for "indiscriminate" children.

An uneventful, quiet life is a luxury that none of these ladies desired, and they couldn't have had one even if they'd tried.

One hundred minutes for your own beauty? Every day?

But that's no reason for giving in.

This all took place while goats were still grazing on the hills.

One single human being laments the woeful fate of another single human being.

The courtier's inferno.

He gave far more than that away to charity.

The little one might have fallen from a tree, a horse, down the stairs, might have been burned by scalding water or choked on a fish bone, might have drowned while playing in a river.

They can't all have fallen in battle or perished in captivity.

I was traveling with The Fairest.

Not bad-looking, but not especially pretty either.

Under such circumstances the wedding night took the form of a brutal rape.

All of this was beautiful in some aggressive and overwrought way.

Who am I to scoff at such pleasing promises?

[anotheruserwithnoname]

12 favourite things about Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

So I saw the Beetlejuice sequel over the weekend. I saw the original in the theatre nearly 40 years ago. And I admit was a bit nervous about whether the film would live up to the original, or would it be derailed by so many of the things that have caused remakes or continuations of legacy properties to fail in recent years. (Those factors vary from person to person but often boil down to either failing to recapture lightning in a bottle, or going against the spirit of the original in some way.)

I'll put in a spoiler break before I pass along my favourite things about the film, but the tl;dr is I had a blast, and I should never have doubted Tim Burton.

The following includes not only plot spoilers for B2, I also have to mention a major spoiler for the Wednesday series, so you are warned.

Favourite things about B2:

Jenna Ortega

Michael Keaton has managed the near impossible - reprising a role from decades ago without losing anything. It makes me sad that we'll never see his proper return as Batman in the now-lost Batgirl movie. I won't name specific names, but with only a couple of exceptions (most of them in Deadpool and Wolverine), so many times an actor reprising a role from years past has either failed to recapture the magic or does a good job but is still missing something that makes their reprise feel lesser in some way. You could splice together scenes of Keaton from B2 with scenes from B1 and you would be hard-pressed to tell the difference.

Jenna Ortega

Winona Ryder is terrific as the older Lydia. I loved the fact they made her a "paranormal-reality" TV star; I figured Lydia would have grown up to be either that or a goth-rock singer. I am not in favour of always darkening characters when they return after a while, but I think the idea of Lydia being haunted (literally) by her past and seeing dead people was well handled and does put a bit of a dark spin on the happy ending of B1. But in a way that works.

Jenna Ortega

For reasons best left to a google search, Jeffrey Jones was unable to appear in B2. His absence was well-handled by way of photographs, having his character lose his head, and a very clever and unexpected stop-motion sequence that at times looked like it was one of those wild AI-generated shorts.

Jenna Ortega

The change of style - the stop-motion, and the Italian art film pastiche that served as Beetlejuice's origin story - were a couple places where the film distinguished itself from the original. Same with Beetlejuice pulling a Deadpool a couple of times and talking to the audience.

Jenna Ortega. OK, seriously, she's a lot of fun in this and is a highlight of the film. My only complaint is they're not completely successful in separating her from Wednesday, both when she gets involved in a Beetlejuice-driven dance sequence, and a subplot where her character falls in love with a boy who turns out to be a villain - which is identical to what happens in Wednesday; the actors even look similar (there is the big Wednesday spoiler I warned about). That's one of the only major criticisms I have with B2, made a bit more glaring as Burton produced Wednesday and I think the film and show used the same writers. Jenna is in danger of being typecast which I'm sure she wants to avoid. I hope her star just continues to rise.

Bob. 'Nuff said.

Burn Gorman of Torchwood fame makes an unexpected appearance in the film as a preacher. He's quite funny to watch in his few scenes. He's become quite a good character actor over the years.

The Disney joke. Aside from the fact I know it'll play well with the many who have been turned off the House of Mouse for various reasons (including their treatment of various franchises and the never-ending Snow White saga), it has a different meaning when you realize that reportedly Burton had a bad experience making the live-action Dumbo for them, so this wasn't just a topical dig at Disney (like we saw in Deadpool) - this one was personal. When film scholars of the future write their books examining Burton's films and he and everyone else involved in his movies have collected their copies of the Handbook, the joke will probably get covered in quite a bit of detail, even though it comes and goes so quickly on screen.

One criticism I have is that Monica Bellucci's character doesn't really do too much. Reportedly Burton and Bellucci began dating while making the film so at least those two got something out of it. But her end was a bit overwhelming. I also felt Willem Defoe's character was underused. But if someone decided to do a spinoff of his actor-turned-underworld cop character, I think it could do well. I know both Bellucci and Defoe were playing plot maguffins - their purpose was to push things along to get to the Beetlejuice/Lydia reunion. But there could have been more. (I also didn't care for the fact no one thanked Beetlejuice for saving the lives (and souls) of Jenna's character by dealing with the boyfriend and everyone else by helping dispose of Monica. That's the only part of the film I disliked, but a minor point.)

Is B2 better than B1. I would say no, but it is an excellent film. I don't know if a third movie is justified, but the prospect of releasing a film called Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice may be too much temptation to ignore.

[koffing-time]

So… What would you say is your best espresso. I’ve been searching for alternatives after my favorite local spot closed.

(@numberonecameraman)

Hmmm, sorry for the late answer, i had to think about this a bit.

I can give you a few nods and infos, but it depends on your taste and preferences.

Well, let's start at the beginning. I'm not that much of an espresso kinda person, i'm more into standard coffee, but espresso is (genuinely) not much more than concentrated coffee. You have to be more careful when preparing it, but in the end, you have the same flavors, just more concentrated. (I promise, i can do that, i know how to make a banger espresso)

And, well, the flavors mostly depend on the coffee you're using. Obviously there are different grades of quality, but i'm assuming you want some high quality stuff, right? Now, i do have some standard beans for normal ass coffee, and you can do a lot of different things with that alone.

Depending on the place your beans come from, they'll have a slightly different taste, but i won't go into that rn because that would go WAYYYYY beyond the scale of this post lmao.

Something more managable is the color (or roast level). Rule of thumb: darker roasts give you more bitterness, a more full and earthy aroma and some chocolatey hints. More lighter roasts are sweeter, less bitter and the more nuanced aromas come out more.

Secondly, there are two different kinds of beans (for the most part. you can probably get some exotic shit as well, but i usually don't have that around). Arabica and Robusta. In general, Arabica is more popular bc it's more... light? i wanna say? It's gentler with its flavors, but the Robusta has more punch, more caffeine and will make overall stronger coffee (espresso). I don't actually have pure Robusta, because, if we're honest, pure robusta coffee (espresso) is REALLY bitter and kind of bland. Something more interesting is a blend between the two. Depending on the ratio, you can get a lot of different profiles. (there are pure arabica versions of course)

Third is the freshness. Of course, the fresher the beans, the better the coffee (espresso). Well... there are a few exception, but they always exist. That part is more important when you make it at home, check the roast date and go to a good shop to buy your coffee.

BUT something that is wayyyy more interesting imo than just... color and arabica/robusta ratio, that is... roast style. You can roast coffee beans in a variety of ways. You can just put them in the oven, you can put them on the grill and smoke them, you can deep fry them, there are tons of ways, and all influence the flavor of course.

One more thing i wanna mention is the fermentation: i love love love coffee that is fermented with the cherry. It makes the coffee (espresso) a lot lighter and actually gives it a fruity and fresh note. Those kind of beans are usually little bit more expensive, but trust me its worth it.

And, lastly, you can blend your coffee with a ton of other stuff to enhance your experience. Mix it with cinnamon, occa berry, cheri berry, chilli powder, i have so many blends here that are really really great. The italians hate me for it, but i again, i usually drink standard coffee, not espresso. That doesn't mean its bad in espresso though.

And to conclude, specifically for your question about our BEST espresso? Well, we do have an assortment of homemade coffee blends, and one is called the "Tix' Mix". It's got a little spice to it, but is mainly sweet and has a full flavor profile between chocolatey and herby. There's also "Olivia's Original" of course (and more varied ideas), but for integrity reasons i have to insist that my personal blend is better lol.