#more like he just. stops giving a single fuck

[lebensmudewing]

This is worse

Trigger warning: birthing fetish

My birth video ended up on a fetish subreddit because of my husband

Throwaway. Although my husband will probably see this here anyway. Maybe this can be the conversation starter?? I don't know! I just need to get this out somewhere and have people validate that my feelings aren't crazy!

I'm sorry if this is all over the place. I am a mess.

My (F33) husband (M36) is the most wonderful and caring person I've ever met in my life. I thought. Almost overbearingly sweet. He's always concerned with how I'm doing, how I'm feeling, how is my mental health. He's an excellent father to our two children as well.

I had a difficult birth with my first child. My hospital experience was bad. I felt traumatized afterwards. When I got pregnant with my second, I knew that, barring any issues, I wanted a homebirth. My husband was all for it. He's a nurse, so I felt doubly safe with him plus my midwife to support me.

The midwife filmed and we also had a professional photographer taking pictures. Everything went great. It was so emotional and beautiful. I'm trying not to give too many details away since it's apparently available to ANYONE for their viewing pleasure right now.

I have been pretty possessive of that birth tape. I never uploaded it anywhere. After I downloaded it onto my computer from our camera's sim card, I uploaded it to a USB, deleted it off my computer, and I keep it in a little "hope chest" to watch when I'm feeling sentimental. It is so beautiful and important to me, and I wasn't interested in sharing it. I have several friends who put their whole birth on YouTube, but I wasn't interested in doing that. My birth didn't need to be shared with the world. It didn't need to be a teaching moment. It didn't need to exist to make others feel better. After my traumatic first birth, it was mine and i cherished it.

My husband didn't feel the same way and sometimes had light arguments with me about it. He was never pushy, but several times, when I would watch it, he would comment "this is such an excellent birth video! You are so happy and calm! I really think you should post this. Homebirths get such a bad rep and this could put so many women at ease." I would tell him absolutely not. This is private. Stop pestering me about it. Its my body. He eventually dropped it and hasn't brought it up since.

My husband and I have never been controlling. We don't have the passwords to each other's phones. I've never felt the need to check each other's phones or computers. I trust him implicitly. Well. I did anyway. I know he has a reddit. We both reddit pretty often. But i don't know his profile or what he does on here. Idk I've just never thought about it.

A few days ago, I was in one of my parenting subreddits and came across a disturbing thread about birth videos getting posted nonconsenually in a birth fetish subreddit. I thought to myself, that is exactly the reason I didn't want to post my birth video. The commenter posted the link to the fetish sub and I'll admit curiosity got the better of me and I went to look. I wanted to know if any of my friends videos wound up there so that I could tell them.

Well their videos DID wind up there. Every single one. The sub has several vast g drives linked to birth videos. But then I saw it. MY FUCKING BIRTH VIDEO. It looked like it had been a YouTube video at one point?? Idk I don't understand how this works. I cant find it on youtube anywhere, so idk. I'm so fucking ashamed and horrified. There is a closeup of...well EVERYTHING down there in a fucking fetish site. My baby taking his first breaths. Me breastfeeding. It doesn't even cut off after the birth. It shows my baby getting weighed, and just...held. If this is a birth fetish sub, why does it feature so much of just...my CHILD. This seems like waaayyyy more than just a birth fetish thing. Idek how to report the video.I reported the post and reddit says it doesn't violate anything.

I am bawling as I type this. Like wtf. Only ONE person knows where that tape is: my fucking husband. I don't even know how to broach this subject with him.

"Hey did you fucking violate my privacy and post OUR BABY'S BIRTH ONLINE, or did you submit it straight to a fetish site, because that's where it is right now."

I don't know what to do. I can't believe I even have to have this discussion. Wtf even if he didn't submit that video straight to the fetish site, he uploaded it somewhere else where they found it, and now his actions have led to THIS situation. He exposed ME to perverts online. He exposed our newborn infant to perverts online!!!

Our marriage will NOT survive this and I am a wreck. I should have known he had SICK intentions when he was being so weird about wanting me to post this. WHY? WHY WOULD HE DO THIS?? I'm not even that angry about those sickos seeing me, but every time I think of my sweet little baby's face in there...I feel like I'm going to throw up. Surely this is illegal?? Surely newborn babies can't be featured in content that people are...sexualizing!!! Can they?? I'm also just....absolutely gutted by the fact that so many other women have had this special moment bastardized by that sub. How many of them are in my shoes? Or my friends shoes. I'm horrified. Do I press charges against my husband?? I can't believe this is how my family is going to end. What will I even tell people. What will I tell my kids!!? Idek what to do!!

TLDR: Husband posted birth video online and it wound up on a fetish site. I don't know what to do.

Update: just a quick update. I left and took the kids to my mom's house. Idk how long we'll be here. I didn't tell my husband anything. I just wanted to get the kids the fuck away from him. Even if he didn't share that video directly with those creeps, I don't want him around them.

TLDR: Husband posted birth video online and it wound up on a fetish site. I don't know what to do.

Update to: birth video in a fetish subreddit

I just...need to vent I guess. This isn't a happy update.

As I mentioned in my last post, I went over to my mom's house. She was bewildered about why I was there. I couldn't fess up to the reason why I was so upset. I am still so embarrassed. I didn't want her to go looking for the damn video either. Thinking of my mom searching around a porn sub to find my BIRTH VIDEO made my skin crawl. I was hysterical. Still am. I couldn't really hide that. I just told her something bad had happened and we needed to stay for awhile. I'm going to have to tell her, but every time I think about doing it, I just start crying more. The situation is even more complicated now, so I'm just scared people will be mad at me for doing what I'm doing, even my own mom.

My husband called and texted over and over for hours. We haven't spent a night apart in years. I gave him no warning. I texted him once and said we were visiting my mom and would be back later, but that I needed a break. I was worried he'd call the police, but he didn't. He continued to text sporadically, pleading with me to talk with him about what was wrong.

I went back over to our house the next day around the time I figured he'd be off work. I took one of my mom's old phones and used it to record our whole interaction. Turns out he'd called out of work he was so distressed. He ran up to me and immediately started asking what was wrong, asking where the kids were etc. He was SO understandably upset. Seeing him like that just made me start crying too. When I started crying, he started crying. He tried to hug me and I stepped away which just made him more upset. It was such a mess. I was finally able to compose myself enough to ask him to watch a video on my phone. He was confused. More so when he realized it was my birth video. A few minutes in, he interrupted to ask why I was showing him. I ended the video, and a hundred other birth videos in the g file folder appeared. He still just looked confused. I exited the folder and pointed to the name of the sub I was in. He took my phone for a better look and I just started  bawling and bawling. After a few minutes, he started raging about how we needed to mass report the post and call the FBI and blah blah blah. He kept repeating "we'll fix this. Holy fuck. This is so sick." I tried to get his attention by asking "how did they get that video?" But he just kept pacing around ranting. I just started repeating over and over "how did they get it!?" Until I was screaming at the top of my lungs. He eventually stopped and just stared at me. Neither of us said anything for a long time.

He started crying and told me that he had started a "Daddy Blog" a year after our first was born. He posted about being a dad and eventually about his experience with my second pregnancy. He had posted the video on youtube to link to his blog. He felt like there wasnt enough resources out there for dads regarding pregnancy. He didn't know I didn't want it posted until a week or two after baby was here and I was so vehement about not posting it and getting it tucked securely away on a usb. It was up for about TEN fucking months before he finally took it down. He was waiting to see if I changed my mind, and was reluctant to remove it because he'd received so many messages from thankful dads about how educational and helpful his blog/vlogging was. I had 0 knowledge about this blog. I didnt even know people blogged anymore?? We had both expressed many times how we didn't want to create a massive digital footprint for our children because of SITUATIONS JUST LIKE FUCKING THIS, so I this is such a fucking weird surprise. There's hundreds of pictures of our family on this thing.

Anyway, we got into a huge argument about how this was a breech of trust and privacy. He maintained that he thought my reaction about not wanting the video posted was over the top, and how I never told him I didn't want to share it, how he didn't even think of it as a big deal because he deals with that kind of thing every day so it was just not a big deal to him and blah blah blah. His excuses were stupid and I don't care. My birth wound up on a fetish subreddit because of him and we are getting a divorce.

When I told him it was over, we had another big screaming match. He went through several different emotions. Crying, wailing, begging, and finally anger. I hadn't said ANYTHING about custody arrangements, or my plans besides divorce, but he started threatening full custody and how he was going to put up a huge fight, how it would just be "he said/she said," how he has the better job, etc. Whatever. I didn't tell him I recorded anything (legal in our state). I eventually just walked out.

So yeah. That's where I'm at today. I need to consult with a lawyer about what comes next. I am moving as quickly as I possibly can. Sitting down to write this update was probably a stupid move, but I received SO many heartfelt messages from people concerned for me that it felt necessary. I honestly just...needed to vent and have people tell me I'm not crazy or awful for doing what I'm doing. I told a few friends, and they all just seem...weird. They're concerned about the videos I found in the fetish group, but nobody has reassured me that I'm making the right moves in regards to the situation.

I am in an incredibly bad place right now. I'm worried I'm making the wrong decision. Do i let him see the kids?? I don't know what to tell my family. I don't know if i need to contact the police. I don't know if i want to. The most stupid part of me wishes I could call my best friend and talk to him about it, but uh...yeah I'm divorcing him. What a stupid feeling to miss him so badly and knowing that I will never be with him again. I just keep thinking that I'm doing something stupid, and i feel like so many people will see it that way.

On top of everything, my birth video is just...in a fucking fetish sub. Every time I think about that, I get choked up. I've reported it a million times in just the few days since I posted. I've made alts to try and report. I've had friends report. My other friends,with their birth videos ALSO posted non-consenually in there, have tried reporting. It doesn't matter. I sent the link to the FBI. It doesn't even really matter anyway. They're g drives. If the post got removed, if the whole sub was removed, my video is still in the possession of some sicko using it for fap material. My baby's sweet little face in there...I am sick. I am defeated.

They have a post up in the sub about how their previous group was removed because of pedophile content. No shit. No fucking shit. Your fetish inherently involves children. They ask that "karens" please leave them alone now. They acknowledge that pedophiles lurk in their sub, yet continue to steal content with children in it for sexual purposes. I do not understand how something like this is legal. I don't know how many other dark places on the internet my video has ended up.

The most special moment of my life is now just this fucking smear of shit all because I decided to try and capture it for memory's  sake. Something that was supposed to bring me unending joy, now leaves me weeping. I keep looking at my sweet toddler and just...breaking down. He didn't deserve this. I wish I could go back and never have recorded that video. I took my USB and fucking smashed it into a million pieces just to feel like I did something. I am tired.

There's not going to be another update for awhile. I am in a very dark place.

Link

he needs to die

[xreader-writing]

Someone better | LN4 and FC43

Prologue

Sumarry: Lando is treating his girl badly, but thank God one Argentine is more than happy to do everything he doesn't do.

Pairing: Franco Colapinto X Driver!Reader | Lando Norris X Driver!Reader

WC:1.265

(WARNINGS:) Abusive relationship, manipulation, machismo, sexism, Lando is a complete idiot here, sorry! 😔

A/N: Since Y/n is Brazilian (And in Brazil we speak Portuguese and not Spanish) Franco and she will speak English to each other most of the time, okay?

How do you realize you're in an abusive relationship? When do you realize? Do you... Do you realize it?

Is it when it gets more violent? Or is it already extreme?

Lando isn't violent, but he is aggressive, that always confuses Y/n.

She's only 21, for God's sake, she got her place in F1 this year when she was called up to replace Checo for the entire 2024 season, yes, she signed with Redbull and is now partnered with Max Verstappen

When she started her relationship with Lando, it was very different, well, I think that's the problem with an abusive relationship, you only realize it when it's too late, and sometimes, unfortunately, you don't even realize it.

Lando was handsome, sweet, affectionate and fun, it was impossible not to fall in love with him, but...

Y/n thinks she can remember the first time he acted strangely.

It was when she was in P1 for the first time, Max was in P2 and Charles got P3, she remembers trying to greet Lando, but he walked right past her, making her feel completely embarrassed with so many cameras filming the event.

"He's just frustrated and tired." That's what she thought.

To make matters worse, Lando didn't go to celebrate with her, only God knows where that boy got himself into that night, but she doesn't want to think about it too much.

That was supposed to be her moment, but he managed to ruin everything.

"Enjoy your night, you deserve it so much." She remembers Chales saying that with his hand on her shoulder and a comforting smile.

After a few days he simply went back to normal without saying a single word about it, as if he hadn't broken her heart into little pieces.

The second time it was actually Max who noticed it, well, he adopted Y/n as his little sister, and he really loved her as if she were.

He was in the paddock when he arrived at the Redbull carriage and came face to face with Lando and Y/n in a distant corner.

It wasn't uncommon to see them in each other's garages, but Max frowned when he saw Y/n half-curdling while Lando spoke non-stop in an aggressive and low tone, only for her to hear.

Max got even more irritated when he saw Lando's expression change when he saw the cameras approaching.

He needed to have a little talk with Y/n.

Later that day, Max managed to catch Y/n alone and he couldn't miss the opportunity.

"Hey." He approaches smiling and she forces a smile.

"Hi Max."

"I wanted to ask you something, I don't want to be nosy or anything, but is everything okay?" Max notices that Y/n's hands are shaking so much that she can't open her can.

"It's okay, I just...fucking can." Max smiles weakly, takes the can from her hand and opens it in a second.

"You know he can't treat you like that, right?" Max says, giving the can back to her, who lowers her head a little uncomfortably.

"He's just kind of nervous and frustrated too."

Max laughs in disbelief upon hearing this.

"What kind of shitty excuse is that? He might have the worst day of his life, but he has to respect you." Y/n doesn't know what to do upon hearing Max say this.

"It's okay, Max, I...I like him." Max sighs and puts her hand on the young woman's shoulder.

"You'll always have me, okay? Even if you go to another team, whichever team you go to, you'll still have me, I promise." Those few words made Y/n's day 100% better.

The third time was a little more problematic, Y/n wasn't having a good day, and to make matters worse, the reporters seemed to sexualize her in every question, damn it.

"Why are you so glum?" Lando says, approaching her and taking her hand.

"I just don't understand why they have to sexualize me in every possible question." She says quietly and Lando scoffs.

"You're a woman and you're Latina, what do you expect them to do?" Y/n looks at her boyfriend confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Come on Y/n, are you going to say you don't like this kind of attention? All this attention they give you?"

"You think I like being harassed? What's your problem?" Y/n lets go of his hand, and he's quick to pull her hand back, squeezing it a little tighter this time.

"Are you trying to put on a show for others now?" He says quietly, looking into Y/n's eyes, and she just wants to scream and run away.

But there are already too many lies and distorted stories about her out there, so she just turns her face away so she doesn't have to look at him, and forces a smile when Oscar and Charles approach to talk to them.

After that, Y/n thinks her mental health is hanging by a thread, the reporters make her seem like a gold digger, that she's only there to sleep with all the drivers, her boyfriend makes her feel ungrateful and crazy, and the haters won't stop trying to kill her once and for all.

But...

In the middle of all this, someone showed up...

Franco Colapinto

Franco and Y/n had known each other since the F2 days, they always laughed a lot and joked together, when Y/n went to F1, Franco cried with emotion with her.

But he knew how much she would be missed.

But now he's at Williams replacing Logan.

When he arrived at F1, he was all joy, Franco got to talk to his favorite drivers, and that was a dream come true, but when he turned around and saw Y/n drinking water and with a completely worried expression, he felt his legs a little wobbly.

"Holy shit, she's still beautiful."

Ele sempre a seguia na~~s redes sociais, mas vê-la tão de perto...

As if she could feel someone looking at her, Y/n turned and met Franco's eyes.

He smiled and waved and she waved back smiling with her mouth closed.

But he needed more, so unable to contain himself, he excused himself to the people around him and practically ran to Y/n.

"hola mi hermosa." Franco pulled her into a hug that she happily returned.

"I missed you so much." Y/n says and Franco smiles more.

When they let go of each other, Franco notices the dark circles under her eyes, and her smile that seems a little forced.

"Congratulations on your pole, it was more than deserved."

"Oh Franco, It's been months."

"Uau? Você me deixou ~~tão orgulhosa e feliz." S/n sorri e balança a cabeça.

"Thank you, it was a dream come true for sure, and I know I'll see you up there soon too." She smiles and Franco's heart races even faster, he had completely forgotten the power she had over him.

"Fuck, I forgot about that." Franco thinks.

Before Franco could say anything, Lando appears looking for Y/n.

"Come on Y/n, let's go have lunch." He takes Y/n's hand and looks Franco up and down.

"Hey, man." Lando lets go of Y/n's hand and offers it to Franco, who smiles as he shakes Lando's hand.

"See you around Franco." Y/n says smiling softly and Lando takes her hand pulling her with him.

Franco's smile fades as they walk away and he sighs self-consciously.

"Fuck, I forgot about that too!"

Taglist

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Some blogs I couldn't bookmark.

Please don't forget to reblog and tell me what you think. 😊

[toxicanonymity]

Some Landlord ! Billy smut would be Perfect, if you have time. Thanks Tox 🥺

murderbait

BILLY LOOMIS x f!READER | 2k words | The Leak WARNINGS: 18+ sleazy landlord Billy, Gratuitous slutty descriptions. masturbation in public, detailed PIV fantasy, degradation, praise, banter and bickering, light enemies to lovers dynamic, manhandling, dom vibes, sexual tension, pet names, "protective" Billy. NOTES: Sure, nonnie. I offer this sleaze with love. 🖤🖤

In the middle of the night, you wake up sweaty despite being completely naked and using no covers. Without putting on any clothes, you walk to your kitchen to get a cold cup of water, only to see a stack of filled ice trays next to the sink because you forgot to put them in the freezer. Ugh.

You get a glass of water and stand in front of the fridge with the door open. The air conditioner in your window feels weaker every day. It’s so stuffy in your trailer, you wonder if you’d be better off with the window open. Still naked, you go to the kitchen window and slide it open. No matter how hard you push upward, it won’t click and stay. 

“Piece of shit,” you mutter. But the fresh air does feel good. 

Standing in the window with your arms raised, tits blazing, skin glistening…. something moves in the corner of your eye. There’s a fake security camera mounted on the shed you’re looking at. At least you always assumed it was fake, since the owners are such deadbeats. You give it the middle finger just in case, then use a pitcher to hold the window up. 

You go back to bed for a while longer, then get up and rifle through your unfolded laundry, looking for a swimsuit. You find a bikini that appears to have shrunk, but it has adjustable strings so you put it on anyway. Next door, there’s an extended stay hotel that has a pool. It has a cracked and faded slide, no longer in use, and half the rungs are dangling from the pool ladders. It won’t be the first time you’ve snuck in there. No one seems to care, and no one’s going to be out at this hour anyway. 

The pool water is normally warm by sunset, but in the middle of the night, it’s cooled off enough. A weakly-inflated flamingo pool float sits atop the water, and a couple of pool noodles hug the wall. Half the pool lights are working. There’s no way this would pass an inspection, but sometimes it feels like barely anyone outside the area knows it exists.

You sit on the side of the pool, and as you lower yourself into the water, you look down to see your hard nipples barely contained by the shrunken, unlined triangle top, with some areola showing on one breast. The sight of your own slutty fit turns you on, and you don’t fix it. 

Kicking your legs out in front of you, you imagine Billy joining you. Billy and his dirty wifebeaters and trucker hats and jeans that fit too well. Billy and his slutty fucking selfies that you can’t stop looking at every night. Billy, and that look in his eyes like he could eat you up, if only he were hungry. 

He’d be hungry right now, you bet. You turn to your side and use both feet to grab a pool noodle, letting yourself off the wall as you mount it. Straddling the  pool noodle, you turn toward the wall and rest your forearms on the side and squeeze your thighs together. 

Closing your eyes and resting your head, you fantasize about him. He’s a low-life and a sleaze, and god he makes it hot. The way he moves, it shouldn’t be hot at all, but you’ve been watching him closer ever since he sent those selfies, and when scratches his lower belly, lifting up his tank top, exposing his happy trail, at this point it drives you fucking crazy. Like that’s where you need your forehead. You tilt your hips for more pressure from the foam between your legs. 

There’s not a single thing about him that says he’s a better guy than you thought, but maybe he is. Or more likely, you don’t care. Or, perhaps most likely, you kinda like him bad. 

He’s not the kind of man you’d want in your life, but in your bed? 

It’s so easy to picture his silhouette at the foot of your bed, scratching himself, then lewdly grabbing the massive bulge in his jeans. 

Your hips begin to move on their own, seeking friction with the foam noodle. 

You can see him kneeling onto your mattress, prowling toward you, arms flexing, chains hanging down from his neck, dangling in the air–god if you could feel those hit your skin. You can feel him grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your head with one hand, while he unbuttons his jeans with the other. 

You reach down and slide the pool noodle against your front, grinding your hips. 

He’d probably lean in real close, say something cocky like, “you ready for this?”  Ugh, his voice. With his dick in his hand. “Think ya can take it?”  Yes, yes, please. He drops his thick meat heavily against your mound. Yes, please. God, please, you’d be squirming under him, wrists pinned by his hand, lifting your hips desperately.  “Sure ya can handle this big cock?”

Fuck. It’s so clear, you can practically smell him. Your whole cunt throbs and you’re gushing in your bikini bottoms. “Mm,” you quietly hum as you get closer. 

He’d shove himself into you, you’d arch your back and moan. He’d chuckle darkly, then his free hand would come to your jaw, dwarfing your face as he uses just two fingers and a thumb to squeeze your mouth open. The smell of cigarettes intensifies as his face hovers over yours, then he spits in your mouth. And he stays there, bottomed out, and you’ve never felt so full but you need the friction, you need him to move so bad, you need him to fuck you, you beg him to fuck you, really fuck you. “Yeah? Need me to fuck you?” God, yes. 

“Mm,” your face screws up. You're so wet, and your clit twitches as you rub the front of your swimsuit with the foam cylinder you're straddling.

You can practically hear him say, “Poor baby.” He’s got half a smile, amused and in control. “Yeah I'll give it to ya,” he begins to slowly retreat, pauses with his cock half-withdrawn and lowers his pitch. “Who’s your daddy?”

The tension snaps and your lips part as you see stars. 

Squeezing your thighs tight around the pool noodle, you ride it out, cumming to the thought of his girth stretching you with his gold chains dangling over you, hips beginning to move, jeans sitting loosely around his hips. 

You weren’t planning on doing that, but, there you are, coming down off that high in the motel pool, in your shrunken bikini, skin buzzing, so tired and peaceful you could fall asleep. 

And then metal scrapes against concrete, stirring you from your blissed out state. 

A shadow moves.

His deep voice at a low volume, with that edge of condescension: "All done?”

Your stomach drops. You almost don’t want to look up, but you do. It’s his silhouette, manspreading in a worn-out chair, with a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other. The shadow of his stupid trucker hat hides his face. You let go of the pool noodle and try to subtly push it away, obviously too late. Frozen, heart racing, you’re standing with your chest above water. 

“What are you doing here?” you demand. 

“Don’t worry, I’m on my way out.” He stands up and stretches, revealing his happy trail. He twists in another stretch and god, his silhouette - his jeans bulging, clearly aroused. “An' so are you, c’mon.” 

“I’m still cooling off,” you protest. 

“I’ll bet.”  He drops his cigarette into his can of beer and carries it with him as he approaches the pool with his face still in the shadow of his hat. Light reflects off his gold chains. 

You make a fake effort to adjust your top and can’t take your eyes off his jeans. He adjusts himself and stands there giving you a moment. 

Then he loses patience and says, “Alright, sugartits. Let’s go.” 

He squats down and grabs you by the arm. 

“Hey,” you protest as he starts to manhandle you toward the shallow stairs. “Alright, alright. Damn”

When you’re out of the pool, he looks you up and down. You feel like covering yourself up, but you defiantly stand with your hands on your hips. 

“Tryin’ to turn tricks out here?” He slowly steps toward you and his eyes are glued to your chest. “Good place to do it….prolly make a few hooker friends too.” 

“How many of’em have you fucked?” you retort. 

He ignores the question and reaches for your chest. 

Without blocking his hand, you look down and part of your nipple is showing again. He “fixes” your suit, tugging it over and thumbing your nipple while he’s at it. It covers your areola but leaves underboob. 

“There ya go.” 

He puts a toothpick in his mouth and motions for you to lead the way. 

As you exit the pool area dripping wet, you mention, “If you’re gonna spy on me, you could bring me a towel next time.” 

“Yeah, okay,” He mumbles with the toothpick at the corner of his mouth. “Just lookin’ out for ya’s all.” 

“I don’t remember asking you to.”

He pulls the tab off his beer can and it replaces the cigarette that had been between his fingers. He throws the can into a bush.

As you reach the trailer park property line, he throws his toothpick into the shrubs and lowers his voice. “Listen sugar, there’s some shady fuckin’ characters over there.” 

You scoff. “Apparently so.” you shoot him a look and can’t help but check him out while you’re at it. A harsh floodlight highlights the freckles on his big, tan shoulders. 

He keeps on, “You tryin’ to get stabbed?” 

“What?”

“Dumb as hell, sneakin’ over there, middle’a the night.” 

Somehow, this makes you feel stupid. Like if he’s calling someone dumb... Damn. 

You walk the rest of the way to your trailer in silence with him following slightly behind you. 

“Lemme guess, ya left it unlocked, too,” he mutters, then opens your door himself. “Fuckin’ murderbait over here,” he grumbles.

He stands with his back to the open door and waits, making your body brush his as you walk in. 

Full body goosebumps. 

He stands there looking at you, and you eye his pants. Slowly, he steps into your personal space, and you back up almost to the nearest wall, but not against it. There, you stop. Letting him close. With his hand on the wall, he effectively traps you, blocking you from going any further into your trailer.

The smell of Newports fills your nostrils. He wets his lips and looks from your eyes to your chest, then  your mouth. 

He brings his nose to your neck and barely grazes you as he takes a long sniff. His nose brushes your cheek, and his lips follow. Just above a whisper, he warns, “Don’t do it again.” 

When you don’t answer, he pulls back and his hand comes to your neck. He’s gentle, not applying any pressure, but the presence of his large, strong hand is enough to feel like a threat. One that makes you more turned on than scared. “Got it?” he asks, looking at your mouth. Can’t be sure if he’s talking about going over there alone or leaving your trailer unlocked, and it doesn’t really matter. His eyes are wild, and it’s like he’s inspecting you, marveling at your face. 

You whisper, “Yes sir,” and await his next move. 

He takes his hand from your neck and cups your cheek to whisper, “Good girl.” 

You could actually melt.

He gives your chest another look and drops his hand, incidentally brushing his wrist against your breast before he pulls up his jeans. He bites the aluminum tab and turns to leave without another word. As he walks away, your eyes are drawn to a glock sticking out of the back of his pants. 

He looks back at you and winks before shutting the door behind himself.  

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Thank you for reading! I appreciate your interest and engagement with him so much.

Please take care of yourselves ♥️

[jji-lee]

dreamies if they weren’t idols ~*

this is all imaginary stuff from my imagination , i went by some of the things they're mentioned irl but idk i kinda let my imagination run wild LMAO , requested here !

mark , by the age of 31 he's a children's book author with a happy family

being artistic in that way is just something that comes natural to mark. i specifically think he'd write children's books or those adventure novels cause his imagination is just so grand, he has so much material to just write hundreds of pages of whatever he's imagining. considering his age and religion as well i truly think he'd at least be married at this point, kids being a big thing he's planning on soon! his lockscreen is a pic of his partner and kid, he's so full of love in the life he's living. ~* didn't finish college but majored in english , living in canada

renjun , by the age of 30 he's a small business owner who is actively dating

i genuinely think renjun would own like a little art business selling art supplies and little pieces he's created. Whether it's clay, paint, or markers renjun is good at using and selling them. I think romantically he'd do a lot of dating I don't know why by I feel like men or woman he's likes the feeling of getting some loving, he'd settle down eventually but he likes to date all different types of people before landing on the one. renjun's life is full of color and that gives him peace. ~* got a masters in art for fun , living in china

jeno , by the age of 30 he's working on cars and thinking about marriage

anything that has to do with cars, whether it's auto repair, design, engineering he's just into cars. i feel like he'd enjoy learning all about cars so that he's able to work with them in every way. he's the guy they always call at the auto shop because he knows everything. lets be real... jeno is hot as fuck and there's no way he'd be single by 30. I think he's the type to wait for a deepened bond in order to consider marriage and by 30 i think he'll finally feel ready to give it his all. loves his girl and his cars and nothing makes him happier than when they're together. is the type to let his partner decorate their passenger side. ~* did trade school for auto engineering , living in korea

haechan , by 30 is a pretty house husband with kids

idc. haechan loves kids and he wants to get on that asap. it took him a while to find the one (i think he's super picky) but when he found them that was it for him. he'd find any possible way to get as many kids as he can in a short period of time, but because of his partner he stopped at 3 kids LMAO. i think he'd be content with the feeling of being a caregiver and he gives sugar baby vibes srry. but he always has dinner ready, the house cleaned, and the babies showered. he loves that he gets to show his love for his partner in that way and at the same time have free time i follow any hobby he chooses. is the designated parent to sing the lullabies ofc. ~* didn't finish college cause he had a kid , was majoring in music theory , living in korea

jaemin , by 30 he's dr. na the cat dad

i think that jaemin is super flirty and romantic but i don't think he's seriously considering a family yet. he's taken a lot of his youth studying for his career so he's built more bonds as friendships instead of romantic ones. he's literally dr. dreamy and all the nurses are in love with him, but he's more than happy going home to his baby kitties. he does have close friends though that keep an eye on him because he's the type to really get into his work and just lose himself and go MIA. it's a hard life but jaemin is content with the fruits of his labor. ~* got a medical degree and did his residency to be a surgeon , living in korea

chenle , by 29 he's a sports media manager in love with the game (ifykwim)

i think chenle loves basketball but going pro didn't really work out with him, so i feel like he'd turn to media management, loving the idea of being with the team and campaigning for his favorite team. he's bossy and he runs the place so the players take him seriously, maybe even sometimes more than their coach. romantically i genuinely think chenle is a little shit. everyone wants him (insane face card) but he likes the game, being with one or the another to have some fun, but by 29 i don't think he's looking to fully commit. ~* double majored in communications and management , lives in the states maybe somewhere hot

jisung, by 28 he's on his way to the moon !

he's finally gotten his astronaut certification and he's so ready to get to work. he literally cried every year studying late nights and training for his job but when he puts on his suit it is so worth it. he definitely needed a push to get through the 10 years of becoming an astronaut and he got that push from his very special partner. he met them at the start of college and it has just been a sweet romance since. every time he wanted to give up they were there to remind him everything he worked for. can he bring his partner to the moon to propose? ~* has a masters degree in a random science major and 2 years of an internship , went to d.c to be with NASA, misses his mom but is now known as andy.

[hoovesandfloorpaws]

adding the 3rd interview from that day here, the one where Harry says Louis is a good boyfriend and treats him really well.

the tag here from 2015 was "and they haven't done an interview together in the last 3 1/2 years" and now it's almost 13 years later and they have never ever been allowed to do another interview together.

clown ass Syco & Modest! behaviour

like, i need to rant for a second. my memory is awful, so i basically watched these interviews with fresh eyes. they're obviously super comfortable (dare i say: domestic) with each other. the flirting, the banter and the mirroring, and how it sounds like they already knew every single answer the other one is gonna give.. everything is so lovely. it's so obvious how how they sometimes get lost looking at each other and how freely and easily they touch each other. but watching these also got me thinking if you think about interviews where Harry actually said to Zayn, about Louis: "Don't say that.. that he's gay!" (x) "Lou, can I give you a blowjob?" (x) "Louis'.. Louis' boyfriend!" / "Can't choose boyfriend." (x) "And I'd marry you, Harry." (x) "I'd take Harry for the night." (x) (For my a dinner date I'd choose) Harry: "You, Louis." (x) "My first real crush was Louis Tomlinson." (x) "Are you and Louis dating?" Harry: *nods & blushes* (x) "She looks like Harry". Then, Louis: "Marriage. Sex, everything." (x) "Female." - Harry: "Not that important." (x) (re: sleeping with a man) Harry: "Hey, don't knock it 'till you try it!" (x) "Now kiss me, you fool!" (x) "What does Harry taste like?" - Louis: "Salt and vinegar." (x) and their million domestic tweets at and about each other (extensive tweets tag by the wonderful @skepticalarrie)

(and these are only the ones that quickly came to me off the top of me tired brain), then that decision truly baffles and angers me even more. There's like dozens and dozens more instances like the mentioned+linked ones, oftentimes where words weren't even said and they just touched or looked at each other.. and oh my god.. the FRISCO interview just a month after Paris, where Louis declared "some people genuinely think.. they GeNuiNeLy think that we're together!" and Liam says "You are, though, aren't ya!" and Harry just nods, all dazed and still wearing his cock-appointment-blush and then Zayn moves the topic towards him and Harry and curiously, nobody ever says "so it's not true!". and then the air kisses and sign language love declarations and their at least 7 matching tattoos (that we know of). the absolutely besotted way they looked at each other from day one. the way they verbally supported each other; defended each other and got obviously jealous over someone else touching either of them. and the rings Harry was gifted by Louis that he's still wearing almost 12 years later... like--

all of this still happened despite them never again being interviewed just the two of them or even getting a fucking segment just the two of them during things like 1D Day! which is so telling.

and all of this compared to how they behaved with each other during those Paris interviews -the ones that were -to Modest! obviously too much? let's be SO fr.. in my personal opinion, those interviews are very tame compared to everything else. they're rather sweet and polite and they didn't even touch each other nearly as much as they did in group interviews, because obviously that is safer, because you've got a lot more distraction for the eye with five guys instead of two. In one of the 3 interviews, Louis is even pretty quiet and calm; just seems very peaceful (or thoughtful). (which is just my personal interpretation, there could be lots of reasons for it)

And they were the same age in Paris as they were for a lot of the things they let slip in other group interviews then. sometimes when they didn't know it was being picked up by a mic or camera, but oftentimes they knew and still couldn't / didn't want to stop themselves :')

I could write a lot more about the hypocrisy of it all or how devastating it still feels and how angry it still makes me -almost 15 years later-, how swiftly and deeply they were shoved into the closet, when every other very private detail of their personal lives was being dragged into the public, twisted and turned and "marketed" to death. (and the latter was obviously fucking damaging to all of them) I shudder to imagine how much homophobia they were exposed to by the people who were supposed to nurture and guide them when their families and friends couldn't be with them. Obviously, the fact that they -so early on- were tried to be kept separated like that portrays just how desperate Clowndest! tried to do "damage control". And of course they failed, but not for lack of squeezing these two into such a sinister iron closet for so many years; piling up contracted lies upon contracted lies that added to all the pressure of two young people who were giving their love a try.. the more lies they piled up, the harder would it be for them later on.

and now look where we are now. they persisted, but at what cost?

Louis & Harry Paris Interviews

How many interviews are there of just Louis and Harry? I’m talking video interviews of L + H, sans Niall, Liam or Zayn to babysit them. There seem to only be a grand total of 2. And both took place on the same day. (February 14, 2012…Was it really on Valentine’s Day??) The Teemix interview below is broken up into 4 parts, but it’s all one interview.

This post actually took me longer than you might think because I tried so hard to find other video interviews of H + L. There aren’t any. Shocking, right?

L’Interview Paris - Fan2Fr

Highlights include: 

At 4:30 Louis reading Harry’s Hot and Dangerous on the fan-art: “Of course he’s hot” 

4:51 Harry says of Louis, “I would describe it more as funny and handsome and rugged…A bit more manly” and Louis gives the brightest most amused smile to the camera.

The looks they give each other at the end of the video with the whole ‘dangerous dave(?)’ thing. Many people hear Harry say ‘I’ll get you for that tonight’ in response. I suck at deciphering these things, but it would make sense given  Louis’ laughing reaction to it.

Teemix Interview 1 of 4

Louis’ face at 3:24 when waiting for Harry to describe Niall’s characteristics.

Louis softly pushing Harry’s hair back at 3:40 when describing him as ‘curly.’ He just..keeps..going..oh my god it’s adorable.

Teemix Interview 2 of 4

The way they finish each others’ sentences, talking about being normal lads. They seem so in sync and sound so relaxed about it.

At 0:38 – L: We still pop down to the shop every now and again– H: Bread and milk. L: Yep, the standard.

Teemix Interview 3 of 4

At 0:20 when describing their ideal girl, Harry corrects Louis’ ‘good sense of humour’ comment with ‘GREAT sense of humour’ and Louis nods ‘yeah’ with the most earnest, serious agreement I’ve ever seen from a person in a boyband answering a generic question. They’re clearly describing each other.

This entire segment is a ridiculous display of how calm and in sync these two are. Telling the story of Liam’s chat up lines, agreeing on their favourite date spots (1:35), Louis proudly suggesting ‘cook them their favourite meal’ (2:12), they’re so at ease with each other and so willing to agree on every little thing.

At 2:42 Louis tries to figure out how long he’s been with Eleanor and Harry suggests ‘a year?’. Harry’s just straight-up laughing at this point and again, clearly talking about him and Louis.

‘I would definitely say Harry is the most confident with girls’ and then he GRINS.

The way they’re smiling at each other at the end is too much. Louis tells Harry, ‘you’re on a whole new level of charm, man’ and can’t stop grinning.

Here’s a slow-mo gif of Louis’ cute head roll, when faced with having to choose his favourite love song. 

Teemix Interview 4 of 4

They cut off Louis at 1:52 here and it makes me realise I can’t even imagine what the unedited version of these L + H interviews is like…

[depravitycentral]

yandere, 18+

I know I write about this kind of stuff a lot, but there’s just something about men humping inanimate objects that just really gets to me.

It’s the desperation that they can't control. It's the physical urge to move, to feel something underneath them, their body physically unable to stop itself from fucking something. It's the way their hips snap and buck and jolt all without them meaning it, their body betraying them on the most primal level because their subconscious is recognizing that they need something warm and soft and oh so pretty to sink into, to rut against until he's smearing pearls of white against soft, supple skin. It's the uncontrollable need to hump themselves against you, really.

Fucking their fist and mechanically bringing their wrist up and down again and again until cum oozes from the tip is fine and dandy, but they need more. They need the full immersion of the fantasy of fucking you, their brain needing the mental images and the physical motions of thrusting, pretending with every fiber of their being that its your warm, wet cunt sucking them in, the velvety feel of your walls leaving phantom touches against his skin.

(Some of them even go so far as to scratch at their own back, eyes rolling to the back of their head imagining that it’s you leaving your mark on him, that it’s your nails digging into his skin and digging into him, making him yours yours yours. They'll pinch at their own nipples, press fingertips hard against their biceps, even wrap a hand around his neck hard enough to leave the area red and irritated just to simulate the way that you'd touch him.)

Pillows, cushions, blankets, anything soft that could be a poor stand-in for your body is fine. Anything that he can clutch onto, that he can press his hips against tightly enough to be suffocating, something that can mold to the shape of him just as you would - all just to really feel like he’s got every single inch stuffed inside of you, giving everything he possibly can to you.

Even hard things will do in a pinch - perhaps the cover of a book you love and cherish, the texture of the binding leaving a slightly painful sting behind that blends into the pleasure and makes his eyes roll back. (Will you still smell the pages and sigh at that old-book smell, or will you perhaps notice the new presence of something slightly musky, slightly heavy, unexplainably male?) Your hairbrush - rutting against the handle he knows you’ve fucked your self with, alternating between rutting against it and bringing it up to his mouth to suck on, eyes squeezed shut as he tried to taste any traces of you.

The only rule is that it has to be something of yours, or something that connects to you in some way. Your pillow, a few wayward strands of your hair sitting against the plush, feeling like heaven and making him blush when he sees the way his sticky cum has left the hairs smeared again his skin, tacky and stuck to him. (The sight makes him suck in his breath, gulping harshly as he comes down from his high, a thumb coming out to carefully, nervously brush at the hair, unable to stop himself from feeling like the sight is somehow so very right.)

It’s better when things are stained - your underwear with discharge discoloration bleaching the fabric, your favorite skirt that you accidentally stained during your period, even a particular pair of socks that you once got dirt on. It’s been used and loved by you, and now he’ll use and love it, too, even leaving his very own stain behind.

There’s just something about it that makes everything feel better, more complete, more real. Of course nothing will ever compare to actually fucking you, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

And of course, the pinnacle, when he really gets desperate, is when he whips out one of the many, many photographs he's taken of you. (Or, photos he'd printed out from your social media accounts because he's too shy to actually photograph you - and this is less creepy, right? Right?) He's touching it with delicate fingers, barely pinching onto the corners, laying the image down on his bed and positioning himself to be right over it. He'll take his time to trace the outline of your face with the tip, sighing and biting his lip, before the urge takes over and soon he's groaning, hips rutting against the smooth surface of the photograph - your face, really.

(The cool feeling and the twinge of pain he gets when he angles wrong and catches the edge of the photograph only makes him grit his teeth, eyes squeezing shut harder because he has to do this - he has to keep fucking, to keep pushing himself because he needs to come for you, you deserve and he wants to give it to you so badly and oh oh oh - The photograph of you smiling is almost prettier with globs of his cum staining your pearly teeth and the apples of your cheeks.)

It's just so depraved, but they can't help it - they just want you so badly that they can't help it.

(In particular I'm thinking of the chronic humpers - Kageyama, who gets so, so whiny, his voice going high and pitchy and his face turning a bright pink color as his abs clench and flex, each drag of his hips making his arms shake even more, sweat beading at his temple leaving his dark hair matted to his forehead.

Or Sugawara, who tends to lay onto his back, humping at the pillow from underneath, pressing the cotton so hard against his pelvis that his biceps are taut, back arching and Adam's Apple bobbing as he chants yes yes yes under his breath, one hand even coming up to blindly grope and squeeze at the air where he imagines your bouncing tits to be.

Or Giyuu, who's thrusts start out slow, hesitant, embarrassed, as if he can't believe he's been reduced to his, worried to sully your good name. But then his hips get faster and he's burying his face into the crook of his elbow, whispering out a stuttered, broken p-please accompanied by your name as he cum seeps into the pillow material.

Or Tomura, who has all the fancy sex toys in the world that he's found on the deepest, most questionable parts of the internet, but finds that nothing is a good stand in aside from your pillow. He starts off animalistic, mounting the pillow and smacking at it, imagining the way your pretty ass would bounce back and ripple at the motion. But then his orgasm draws closer and the thrusts get deeper, more meaningful, like he's trying to reach as deeply inside of you as possible, and his grip is almost unbearably tight as his orgasm washes over him, hips quivering and twitching as he imagines the way you'd clutch onto him and thank him.

Or Feitan, who's biting into the pillow as he cock drags against it, teeth bared and practically snarling into the (stained) cotton, dark eyes squeezed shut as he tries so very hard to not whine your name.

Or even, on very, very specific occasions, Chrollo, whose sense of dignity flies out the window when you deny his romantic advances once again. You're just playing so very hard to get, and while he's invested into the game for the long run, he's still just a man - and the image of you spread out underneath him, wearing lacy, angelic lingerie and spreading those creamy, supple thighs of yours is enough to drive him mad.

It's just pathetic enough to be sweet, really, and although you aren't exactly flattered when you walk in on him heatedly grunting your name with the pillow tightly clutched between his thighs, just know he's doing it for you. Everything he does is for you.

[brotherwtf]

there’s a good chance you’ve written about this already (please drop a link if you have!!) but i can’t stop thinking about john calling gale pet names for the first time. “baby”, “honey”, “sweetheart”. john just starts using them so casually, like he’s always called gale these things, but it makes gale’s insides flip flop every time. he loves being john’s baby even if he can’t say it out loud. john pretends like he doesn’t notice that gale blushes and stutters and glitches every time he calls him something sweet but he definitely does and he loves it :)

I mean it's pretty par for the course for John to call Gale all of those pet names, I actually can't think of a single drabble where he DOESNT call Gale a pet name... that's just his baby he has to call it as he sees it

but their first time? oh my God Gale almost melts through the damn floor with how red he gets

like you said, it's very casual and natural when John starts using pet names "can you help me with this, baby?" "no problem, doll" "of course darling," and John doesn't bat an eye at it, just naturally slips out when he's comfortable but Gale literally stops in his tracks when John calls him that for the first time, short circuits and can't think of a response until John asks him again or gives him a look, and then Gale will just shake his head and smile, does whatever John needs him to do

Gale's never been called these things before, Gale's mother didn't really do pet names and his father DEFINITELY didn't, so his first encounter with someone who cares enough about him to call him such names being John made his head spin

he flushes almost every time John calls him something those first couple of months, would hide his face so John wouldn't see how embarrassed he gets, would hide his pleased smile when John calls him "baby" or "doll" or "beautiful" but John always catches onto it and pulls him in for a hug or a kiss, nuzzles his nose against Gale's red hot cheek and smiles so big and bright Gale can't help but follow suit

but it's so hot for someone like John, older, more mature, more capable, to call Gale his, to call him such sweet things, Gale knows John truly means it because he wouldn't be saying such things if he didn't mean it, and that makes Gale's knees buckle even more

of course it only gets better when John says them in that husky, fucked out voice, one that's almost obscured by a moan while he's kissing or fucking Gale, even then it's so damn hot that Gale keens high and bright in his throat, holds onto John like a damn lifeline "fuck baby," "God sweetheart, look at you" "yeah that's it, that's it doll" oh God I'm gonna be lightheaded

Gale is John's baby any day of the week you cannot tell me he's not

[act-nat-ural]

g’day! i saw that you're receiving requests: so is it OK to request osamu with his significant other who calls him "ochamu" instead of "osamu" just to get a reaction out of him? sort of like baby talking his name if that makes sense??? i think it's super funny that he might look at you like you're crazy at first then get used to it overtime (atsumu gives him the side eye every single time) 😭

but ofc, this is more of a suggestion if anything ^^ feel free to delete/ignore if it doesn't spark any inspo or you don't have any thoughts on it! ++ i know you wrote abt samu recently so maybe he should wait a little longer to get his turn PFFT. thanks for your time btw! i love your workssss ✨

Baby Talk

note: I love your brain omg- this was so fun to write lol. Hope you like it!!!

“Ochamuuu, pay attention to me.”

The moment the word ‘Ochamu’ was uttered from your lips, Osamu did not react positively. Sitting on the other side of the sofa, you see his lip curl in disgust. The side eye directed towards you was lethal.

 “What. Was. That.” 

 It was hard, but you managed to hold your giggles in. You pull the most innocent face you can and say, “What do you mean, Ochamu?”

He immediately gags and puts his hand out at you. “Oh my god. No. Babe, what the fuck.” He's looking at you like you grew a second head. You laugh and punch his arm. 

“What? What did I do?” He raises his brows and laughs, perplexed.

 “What did ya do? Ya sound stupid. Don't do that again, it was creepy.” 

You giggle again and respond, “I love you, ‘chamu.” His frown gets even deeper as he stands up from the couch and walks away shaking his head.

 “I love you too, but no. Just no.”

–

“Ochamu, pass the salt please.” You ask sweetly. He stops mid bite and turns to you unimpressed.

 “Really? This again?” You hum and shrug your shoulders. “I have no idea what you are referring to, my dear husband.” He gives a small smile and resumes eating. 

“Now that's a nickname I can get behind. The other one, not so much. How the hell did ya come up with that anyway?” He questions, finally handing you what you asked for. 

“I honestly don’t know. I think it came to me in a dream or something.” You gasp. “It was a message from a higher power. Ochamu is your destined nickname, I'm sure of it.” He lets out a little chuckle at that and places a kiss on your cheek.

 “Sure, whatever. If it keeps you entertained, I'll allow it.”

–

“Ochamu, have you seen my brush?” You inquire as you pop your head out of the bathroom. He's sitting on your bed, scrolling through his phone. 

Without looking up, he answers, “It's on the dresser, baby.” You bite back a smile. 

“Not a single comment this time, huh?” He blinks and glances up at you. 

“What do ya mean?”

You let out a shocked laugh. “Wha- you didn’t even notice?! I used that nickname you hate.” He groans and throws a pillow at you. “Yer usin’ it too damn much! Messin’ with my head!” He huffs and crosses his arms. You roll your eyes and move to sit down next to him. 

“Admit you like the baby talk.” He gives you another dose of side eye.

 “I’d rather not.”

–

You, Osamu, and Atsumu had all decided to go grocery shopping for dinner ingredients. Rather, you and Osamu were, and Atsumu tagged along because he was bored. Osamu was in charge of the list, Atsumu was pushing the cart, and you were the one grabbing the ingredients. You were walking aisle to aisle, taking your time, while Atsumu was grumbling like a bored child.

“Ochamu, what's next on the list?” He opens his mouth to respond but gets cut off.

“Ew, what the hell?” Atsumu makes a grossed out face and does a barfing motion. “Yer such a weirdo! ‘Samu, ya let her call ya that?!” Osamu scoffs and takes your hand, leaving Atsumu behind. 

“Yer just jealous yer single. Scrub.” You can still hear Atsumu squawking when you get to the next aisle.

[doodle-pops]

House of Fingolfin | Wanting Another Round

A/N: *head pats and kisses for everyone* Enjoy!

Warnings: smut, female reader, marathon sex, multiple orgasms, rough sex, dacryphilia (squint), manhandling, pet names being used (princess, sweetheart, sweet girl), daddy kink (single use)

𓏲⋆ ִֶָ ๋𓂃 ⋆ Fingolfin — He’s commanding when he wants to go another round, always convincing you that the number you’ve already experienced isn’t enough and one more is required.

Achieving your umpteenth orgasm and bowing your back off the bed, your back collided with your husband’s chest and the delicious roll of your nipples against his sweaty skin elicited a heavenly moan from both your throats. His hands were gripping your legs, spreading them further apart while his hips continued to slap against your ass without remorse. He fucked you through your orgasm and was about to fuck you into a new one, not caring whether or not you could give him another. You were going to give him another.

“Squeezing me love. Hmm, you feel so heavenly around me,” he whispered against your ears as his seductive eyes were locked on your puffy lips taking his cock. He was living for the sight of more. “Are you going to give your daddy one more? You look like you need another.”

The slick sound of his cock sliding in and out your heat echoed loudly with the lewd sounds escalating with each thrust. His balls were heavy and still full of unreleased cum that he planned on emptying before the night was over, and you were going to take every drop. Curling your nails into the sheets as his cock rubbed against that one spot repetitively, your eye lids drooped and rolled at the same time, leading to your head dropping into the sheets, causing him to hauntingly laugh.

“Close already darling?” he mocked as he pounded into your harder and reached down to pinch your clit, eliciting a squeal.

“Ñolo…ngghh, I can’t—please. I can’t cum again. I don’t…I–I…” You bite your lips in attempt to prevent a high-pitched whine as he stopped his thrusting to rest the tip of his cock against your sweet spot. The weight of his tip left you choking on sobs and squirming within his hold to escape his devilry.

“You can’t cum for me again? Is that what you’re telling me, sweetness?” Pecking your shoulder with a teasing laugh following.. “I wasn’t asking you love; I was telling you that you will cum for me again. No ifs and no buts.”

Without wasting a second, he slid his cock all the way out with teasing intentions until the tip remained inside before slamming his hips against yours with vigour. Your nails tugged at the sheets and dug deeply into the fabric, producing minor rips making him pound away harder, while your cries increased.

“Just like that, sweetness. Let yourself go for me,” he smirked. “It’s what your pretty pussy deserves.”

𓏲⋆ ִֶָ ๋𓂃 ⋆ Fingon — guilt trips you into giving him another round because he can’t get enough of you with a few pouting and pleads.

Feeling heavy hands pushing your stomach into the mattress while your head remained buried in the sheets, your eye lulled and drooped from the torrent of pounding you were receiving from behind. There was nowhere to escape, no running away and fighting back; just lying there and taking all the pounding your poor tired pussy was experiencing for the nth time tonight. You didn’t know how many orgasms you past through since you started, but from the way your legs were shaking, you knew it was more than five.

“Finno…I–I can’t—my legs. I can’t cum again, too much,” you whined into the bed in a slightly muffled voice before feeling his fingers grip the back of your neck to crane your head upwards. At the same time, he purposefully aimed his cock to pound against your sweet spot to elicit loud and clear squeals from you.

Grinning, he broke into chuckle at the pretty sounds you made for him, clearly displaying that you were more than capable of giving him another orgasm and a few more before the night was over. With a sharp glance at your ass jiggling at it collided with his hips, he dipped his head to brush his lips beside your ear, kissing the tip. “But I barely got enough of you tonight, princess, and I wanted to make you cum more times,” he whined. “Let me make you cum again, please sweetheart? Let me make you feel good; stretch you out nice and good. You asked me to take of you, so let me, sweetheart. Give in…”

You couldn’t resist those familiar words; your body knew them too well and always crumbled under the slightest whisper. On instinct, Fingon felt your walls clamping down on his cock as his pounding continued, massaging him just the way he enjoyed. In return, he rewarded you with the constant punishing of his cock head against your sweet spot to push you over the edge. His lips were attached to your neck as he added more hickeys to the earlier artistry and whispering more filth into your ear.

“Just like love, just let yourself go and make me feel good. I’ll take good care of you; make you cum all over my cock, pretty girl,” he purred as pushed his cock all the way to the hilt, making his balls slap louder against your clit.

“Finno…” you panted as your eyes rolled into your head. “Ngghh, I–I…can feel…”

“I know pretty girl, I know.” That was all he needed before placing the rest of his weight atop you, pinning you under him as he pushed you over the edge, making your cream all over his cock with the urge of not stopping.

𓏲⋆ ִֶָ ๋𓂃 ⋆ Turgon — silently manhandles the fuck out of you when he wants another round and so you’re left there taking his pounding.

As soon as you came down from your orgasm, you felt your body floating among the clouds one minute, before it was being snatched away and brought back to earth by the sudden dragging of your body off the bed. Snapping your eyes open, you came face to face with Turgon as he rested your legs in the crooks of his elbows, spreading you open, before he stood at the foot of the bed with you suspended in his arms. Immediately your arms wrapped around his neck, while one of his hands slipped between your bodies to align his cock with your wet pussy. Without a proper warm up, he impaled you onto his cock, pushing all of him in you.

You were unable to scramble out of his hold since it was a warrior’s grip that kept you secure and impaled on his thick cock. All you could do was whine and tremble as the aftershocks of your orgasm made your pussy extra sensitive to his touch, and his disregards to easing you on his cock went out the window. In his mind, you were taking it fine a minute ago, so there was no need to be gentle.

“Turu–…káno…” you whined and looked down as he slowly, yet deeply, moved you up and down his cock, making you feel him all the way in your guts. Your eyes rolled and twitched while your hands slapped against his chest and back. He held no remorse for the push he was sending your body into since it was benefiting for him to feel and enjoy the pure tightness of your pussy squeezing and milking his cock.

“Hmm, relax and enjoy the feeling of my cock love. I’ll take good care of you,” he muttered as he closed his eyes and tossed his head back, relishing in the sensation of your walls massaging his cock and the warmth. “We’re far from finished for the night.”

“I don’t think I can–…can cum again. ‘M too sensitive,” you struggled, feeling the air being knocked out your lungs.

Smirking as he listened to your words, he bent down to kneel on the bed edge and rested you back against the soft mattress. With your legs still spread and the perfect sight of your pussy welcoming his cock, Turgon groaned and switched his pace to deep and body-shaking pounding. You could feel your skeleton rattling from the heavy and calculated thrusts he was sending your way.

“You’re just right to cum again for me, love. You’re doing so well, just give me one more and I’ll reward you.”

𓏲⋆ ִֶָ ๋𓂃 ⋆ Argon — sweetly asks you for one more round because he can’t get enough of you.

Nuzzling his face into your sweaty neck, he breathed in your scent and planted a litter of kisses to the same area. Instinctively, Argon’s arms encircled your waist and pulled you into his body with the purpose of dragging you on top on him. Unknowingly, your body easily followed as you were caught up in the rapture of the affections he gave so sweetly. His hands roamed your body, touching and groping your thighs, squeezing your ass, running his fingers up and down your back and sneakily cupping your breasts.

The sound of your laughter waffling through the air filled him with delight as he deepened the kiss and turned his light pecks into prying your lips apart to slip his tongue inside your mouth. The moment he gained entry, he tightened his arms around your waist and cupped your ass to rub his cock against your opening. Your wetness dripped onto his member and coated him in a delicious warmth which made him groan in your mouth.

“Can I slip inside? I want you again,” he pleaded against your lips as he broke the kiss. “Please, I’ll take control, just let me have you again.”

His whines and sweet pleads were like music to your ears the more he begged and rubbed the head of his cock through your folds and against your clit. Beads of his precum mixed with your slick the more he rubbed himself against you, and in return, you rocked your hips against him. Argon soft pants escaped his lips and fluttered through the air.

“You want to fuck my pussy, Káno? You want to feel me wrapped around your cock?” you purred against his lips and reached down to slip the head of his cock inside your entrance. The moment you did so, Argon lost all forms of self-restraint, planted his feet into the mattress and started pounding into your heat.

Both hands were gripping your ass as he pushed himself in and out your wet pussy, loving the inviting sensation that enveloped him with each thrust. All you were able to do was bow your head into his neck and hang on for the ride as he pounded into your rapidly and landed delicious slaps to your ass. Each squeak you released fuelled him to push himself deeper and make you see the stars. You were experiencing a plethora of pleasure when his mouth eventually joined in to latch onto your breasts and suckle.

His grunts reverberated throughout your body and mixed with your moans as he turned your insides in jello and remoulded it to his liking. The way his cock slid inside your pussy made you mewl and squirt all over his cock, pushing him to take you harder and to new heights as the evening turned into night.

Masterlist

Taglist: @lilmelily @ranhanabi777 @rain-on-my-umbrella @mysticmoomin @asianbutnotjapanese @batsyforyou @involuntaryspasms @aconstructofamind @addaigio @zheiya @eunoiaastralwings @elficially-done-with-life

If you wish to be added, click the Taglist Link to join.

[fiyaerrigan]

re: BuckTommy 8x06 and the Interviews

First point: I hesitate to say Oliver's response was biphobic

We don't know the man??? He could literally be bisexual (and guess what, it would be none of our damn business!) But within the context of "he has said he wanted change for his character and what he says in this recent interview directly contradicts that" I do have my gripes.

Second point: To me, the execution of this sucked.

Normally (as a resident Messy Bitch who likes seeing shit in her Complicated Fucked Up Life reflected in media) I live for drama and I live for narratives taking me wherever the wind takes them! but there was something so BLUNT and RAW about this that i cannot feel settled or satisfied with it (esp taking into account that, as noted before, this is a direct contradiction of what people IN the show have said they wanted for Buck) because it was SUCH a tonal shift from where they left off the previous episode.

I try to be gracious and remind myself that network TV has to deal with sudden changes that affect the way they go forward with planned storylines, but this was kinda ass, right down to the wire.

Assuming that it WASN'T a sudden change and that this *was* how they wanted everything to wrap up, I feel like it really could have been written with more consideration. It's one thing to pick up from where s7 left off and have their relationship in s8 be something along the lines of “we keep trying but it isnt working out” and then culminate in a breakup, but it's another entirely to break them up and...

Have Tommy's character interactions *still* be intertwined with Eddie (when it would have been more of a soft exit thing to treat Eddie's friendship in the same "implied presence" way they do with Hen and Chim rather than giving them scenes where Tommy and Eddie interact directly) as recently as the previous episode. Like at that point you've established an additional relationship for the guest character to have with the main cast, and given that relationship more recent screentime than any of his previous friendships, which THEN makes his departure have multiple fallouts to address

Have Buck be on the verge of a momentous confession when said breakup happens, because GOD that just hurts

From a writing perspective, you're leaving loose ends that are (imo) not going to really lead viewers to sit well with the story going forward?

On a personal level, even if (by some miracle) we still end up with Buck in a queer relationship despite the looming storm for LGBT media in the US, I'm probably not gonna be able to look at whatever relationship happens after this without feeling some sort of sting. I'm all for writers planning out stuff to happen in advance, but they could have spelled out the end for Buck and Tommy in SO MANY ways that would have been less bitter.

Like, fuck. Even if it WAS a sudden change, there are ways that this COULD have worked decently even *with* a single episode to wrap up the BT relationship.

You could have Put Tommy On A Bus for [insert serious reason that Buck can't argue with] here and that (at the very least) would soften the blow bc at least the loose ends are explained by "oh, *no one* who's close with this character is able to interact with them" and that would have hurt slightly less?

You could have killed Tommy off and that would have been INFINITELY better than this IMO because at least sudden death seems more realistic an ending (as far as the weewooverse is concerned) compared to "these two characters break up but somehow we're supposed to forget that he's also friends w his ex's bff and there are Ramifications (tm)."

Hell, I'm not big on Buddie but it could have brought Eddie and Buck closer via grief bonding, if that's what the writers wanted? idefk.

Overall, this Sucks.

I'm gonna try to stop looking at my weewoo tags for the time being and focus on stuff that brings me joy (like content from old fandoms where I Haven't Been Hurt Yet lol) and spend some time away from the show for a bit.

Honestly, for me, s8's main sticking points were the BT relationship and whatever the fuck those two had going on with Eddie. My personal sticking points for the entire series (found family vs. blood family juxtaposition, breaking the cycle, and group hijinks) don't seem to be the focus in s8 thus far so I'm not too keen on watching the show as intensely as I have been, going forward. Hit me up if they bring Chris back or if the 8x06 interviews are smoke and mirrors (though I don't think they are) but otherwise I'm gonna go back to weewoo-ing through dashboard osmosis.

I still have BT and weewoo plotbunnies in my drafts, and I don't see myself abandoning those completely! I think, after some time, I see myself coming back to that creative space, even if I'm not following canon super closely. Of course, my ass never finishes anything, so whether I finish and post those WIPS is another thing entirely.

Peace out, friends?

[theres-no-escaping-us-pal]

JAVEY HEADCANNONS

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

pre-relationship:

literally obsessed with each other.

like, Davey can’t shut up about Jack to Les

and Les is js like “okay? 🤨”

and Jack can’t stop drawing at Davey.

it gives him an excuse to stare at him.

he tells everyone that Davey is just fun to draw.

and then everyone’s looking at him like “sure buddy, suuureeeee”

a lot of ‘accidental’ hand brushes.

and other acts of ‘accidental affection’ like shoulder brushes and thighs touching when they sit next to each other.

Davey was the first person Jack cried in front of (other than Crutchie, of course)

Crutchie, Race, and Albert have a bet going over who’s gonna confess to who.

“Racer- psst- Race!” “what?” “twenty bucks says Jack confesses to Davey.” “you’re on!”

every single one of the newsies understood what was going on between them before they did.

Crutchie was their biggest shipper.

overall it’s a lot of them being blushing, oblivious, idiots.

confession:

I feel like it could go one of two ways.

option 1: Jack plans a romantic confession on the rooftop and gives Davey a whole romantic speech before saying, “so, what do ya say, Dave?” and kissing him.

ORRRR

option 2: Davey sees Jack’s collection of drawings of him while he and Jack are on the rooftop.

and Davey’s like “so… what are these?”

and Jack gets all blushy and starts stuttering like “I-I- well… uhm… so, ya see… y’know… uhm….”

then Davey just grabs his collar and kisses him.

anyways, choose whichever one you like better.

when Jack tells Crutchie, he either goes “oh, hell yes! RACER!! YOU OWE ME TWENTY!!” or “GODDAMNIT!! YOU COULDN’T’VE JUST PLUCKED UP THE CORAGE TO DO IT YOURSELF!? DAMNIT, JACK! I’M DOWN TWENTY DOLLARS!”

either way, he’s super happy for them.

post-confession (boyfriends):

tried to hide it from the newsies at first cause they were scared they wouldn’t be supportive.

then, one day Race found them kissing and was kinda just like 😐 before yelling for the other newsies. (I might write this as a oneshot)

obviously all of them are supportive.

even the Delancey’s were when they found out.

they’d tease the fuck out of them but not in a homophobic way, just a more light hearted way.

Jack always has his arm around Davey’s shoulders/waist when they’re walking.

pulled Davey down to kiss him by the tie one time and Davey couldn’t stop blushing.

sometimes Jack stands on boxes/stairs or sits on a bunk when him and Davey kiss cause he likes to feel taller.

Davey always makes sure that Jack is fed.

even if it means he gives up his food for him.

like, Ethster packs lunches for Davey and Les.

but most of the time Davey just gives his to Jack to make sure he gets at least one good meal.

Davey always lies about eating a lot at breakfast so Jack won’t feel bad.

Davey holds Jack against his chest when they cuddle.

if they’re spooning, they argue over who’s the small spoon.

Jack wins most of the time.

Jack likes to kiss Davey’s nose, cheek, or forehead in public, but kisses on the lips are only in private.

Davey reads out loud to Jack while Jack draws.

Jack’s love language is definitely physical affection or words of affirmation and Davey’s is quality time followed closely by physical affection.

they’re incredibly domestic.

Crutchie will make gagging sounds whenever they’re being really coupley.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

in conclusion: Jack and Davey are perfect and if anyone disagrees they can fuck right off my page. ❤️❤️❤️

[alexcalder]

 ───sometimes it feels a little wrong to want to hoard her, even if just for a couple of hours; their babies come first, of course, and they are their little demons, despite looking like angels, and they demand a lot of attention —they are also very clingy with her, even more than they were before the incident. so, he would understand if she couldn’t be away for these many days, but he is glad she wanted to go. for herself,  too, to get a break and have nothing to focus on and worry about as much as they would allow her ( and selfishly for himself, too, so their time spent together won’t be short and stolen ).

“debatable,” a matter-of-fact tone, for he might not have been part of their lives for a very long time, but he does often wonder how she managed not to murder either Claude or them for all the messes they create, nearly, every single day; both literally and metaphorically. she doesn’t get a moment’s rest, it seemed to him, and though Claude can look after the twins, it does come with a price —which often includes a few hours of cleaning, at best. he absentmindedly toyed with her fingers, the ghost of a smile tugging the corners of his lips slightly upward at the sound of her laughing, the sight of her dimples adorning her cheeks; fuck him, for how something as simple as this can make him feel. being so in love with her is something he realizes every single day, without fail; through the simplest things —it’s nothing new to him, but he has now accepted it, has a name for it, and most importantly he has her, now, in his life; and them, making their little family complete. he reached out to brush a strand of hair out of her face as she smiled, holding her gaze for a brief second. being with her always feels like being at home, the effect her mere presence has on him is hard for him to fully grasp, still, but it is a welcomed one; she makes him want a better person for her and their babies ( now, another more reason to make better choices, right on time of the need to find another way out of his head had been overly consuming, and it is a matter he wouldn’t burden her with, he knows she has trauma from when Claude used ).

“that’d be helpful,” he responded in regard to the place she referred to, nodding lightly. he almost reached out to place a hand over her barely-even-there baby bump as they stopped at the traffic light when she leaned in to kiss him. a hand slipped up the side of her neck, pulling her closer. fingertips pressed against the back of her head as the kiss deepened, even if for a moment too short. his hand slid to her thigh as he shifted into gear once again, giving a single, firm squeeze. “never forget how much I love you,” he said, softly, turned to look at her for a moment. “you don’t ever need to work yourself up in our expense…” there was nothing she could do that would make him leave her. his love for her, and obsession is borderline unhealthy, but his intentions for her are only the best; same as he wants to make himself better for her, too.

⸻ Despite having Alexander nearly every day with her, when they had children and they're toddlers, it was so hard to find a moment alone with him. Especially with two demanding kids of care due to their hyperactivity. Not to mention the migraine Claude causes once in a while to her. She didn't want to miss the opportunity to be alone with him, away from her daily stress. It'd be great to change the scenery, get to know new people, and a new place, and start to think about the new upcoming babies. She was thinking of transforming one of the rooms, which she used nearly as an office, in which she spent her time sewing, to make the new nursery for the twins. ❛ I suppose I could use some days off, and run away with you. ❜ She looked at him smirking softly. ❛ They will survive. ❜ Maybe they might make messes, which is inevitable, now thinking about the mess they made the other day her father called her pre-warning her of what she would find. And then she remembers the day she made Beau clean the wall he drew, chuckling because he felt on the vein what it was like to be her to clean their messes. The face he made… So cute, but she had to keep the seriousness otherwise he wouldn't understand what he did was wrong.

She loves their babies, but sometimes she wants to be left alone with her man. Elizabeth was a bit surprised he admitted out and loud how he wanted her to tag along with him, which ripped another chuckle from her, dimples showing on her cheeks, and she looked at him, not moving her hand resting on his lap. Since this is a work trip for Alex, she had a few ideas on how to fill up her time alone. Maybe on some shopping sprees, visiting museums, or a spa… She would even consider in practice some sports, but she would have to double-check what she can and cannot do, now she is pregnant. This pregnancy is a little different from the first one, but since it isn't her first time being pregnant, she feels confident in this one.

Her free hand rested on her tummy, in her nearly non-existent bump, and her gaze was on the view outside of the window, she was closer to him, then than the window as she normally stays. ❛ There is this place called "Coconut & more", we could get coconut water from there. I can put on my Waze if you want to. ❜ She offers, and when the traffic signal closes she leans forward to kiss him on his lips. ⏤ She was in no rush to arrive home, maybe because she knew her place might be intact because the twins were at the daycare and Claude was working at the floriculture.

[dykedvonte]

wanted to say I appreciate your nuanced takes on MW and especially Curly. i don't get the claim that the fandom is full of Curly apologists when majority (esp yt and tiktok) say he's worse than Jimmy. Yes there's commentary about bro culture defending people, he def messed up in trying to placate Jimmy (tbh "we'll fix this" sounded more like trying to keep someone prone to outbursts like Jim calm and not hurt Anya/himself) but I don't think he did nothing to help Anya, since she continued to confide in him and he had less than a week to resolve it before the crash (I also don't get everyone saying he knew for ages when it seems like Anya told him that same week). I get Jimmy's a pos but saying stuff like Curly should've known he'd crash the ship or that Jim had a criminal record he ignored, reducing them to obviously horrible villain and willfully ignorant sidekick feels like a disservice to the game. If your best friend turned out to be horrible, what would you do in a confined space in the span of a few days to respond? I'd say some of the horror comes from trying to do good but ultimately failing, Curly's state after the crash is meant to be tragic horror not revenge/punishment

Thank you and this is what I want to get across.

A lot of information we have to supplement when it comes to how long things have been happening on this current ship. I think people try to add on to the horror and negligence by making things more obvious so it can feel like it was easier to avoid when, true to life, its not. Jimmy clearly didn't deserve or appreciate what Curly did for him in getting him the job, but do you think if Jimmy was that big of a menace on Earth he would've given him a position where he could have that level of power over people's lives? There's something in the fact he specifically chose to pick a position so close to himself where he could watch Jimmy.

I hate the bro code argument because that is a whole can of worms people really don't get. That sort of mentality is born from the general respect and preference of male matter over female ones. Curly is clearly not that guy, he is absent minded about the issue and inadvertently dismissive but he clearly believes Anya, he just can't understand what she's going through. It's an onslaught of information that no one really reacts right to. Additonally, the entire discussion of her assualt plays to heavy into the idea that there is fault outside of the perpertratior when it comes to SA. It's too close if she only did this or if Curly had protected her better but the fact of the matter is Jimmy did what he did. He did it before any of the conversations with Anya about it and it's why her behavior seemed to change so drastically in those last two days.

He has other conflicting thought and while his role as a Captain should've taken over, people act like it's not a very human thing to have such a toxic presence cloud your judgement. It is never easy to separate friend from coworker once that connection is formed, you want to help them, especially if they were friend first and for a long while like in this case. It's not right, but people act like it would be easy when the game clearly points out that no choice is easy to make, especially when you have to make it for more than one person. You have the weigh the consequences, look at all the options and make a plan. People can headcanon and decide how long things where happening, but if we look at what we were presented through the characters eyes, the only person given time to do that was Jimmy.

He waited two months after the crash to appoint himself Captain. Every time a problem was brought up he immediately took action and refused to sit on it and find a better solution. I think it's important to look at the warped way Jimmy takes initiative where Curly didn't as it works as a good contrast of why you don't just run in to "fix" things. The quickest and easiest option may not be the safest or most beneficial. I think some thoughts on the game suffer from the black and white thinking the game doesn't operate on along with us being voyeurs. We see what exactly led to what but the characters don't. They don't have the hindsight and foresight we do and even ours is scrambled by the non-linear story telling.

Like it's hard to talk abuou those grey zones without sounding like an apologist because you're explaining why taking responsibility isn't easy. It's not and it's weird to act like it would be in a scenerio that led up to the events of the game knowing what we know. We see all these characters in such isolated moments with various things before, in between, after and even during we aren't privy too. The idea that Jimmy is worse than Curly heavily banks on the words Jimmy was saying to Jimmy before he crashed the ship. That whatever happened on the ship was his responsibility to bare, which is true due to his position. But, are they not still not responsible for taking the actions Curly then must bare?

Like i feel like people think that these are situation that become easier with age or when you are in a postion of authority and they aren't. You don't lose your biases or gain some sudden knowledge that makes it easier. It just becomes more tiring as you keep dealing with it. I would be first in line to say Curly fucked up and should've done more but the idea he knew how bad it could get or he really saw the worst in the people around him and ignored it pretty much ignores a huge aspect of his character and the game.

[rabbithaver]

every so often i will see a post from a leftist on this website that is so egregiously ableist that i remember that like. oh yeah the userbase of leftists on this website is violently anti-disabled people and will jump at any chance to demonize any of us for any reason. i just forget that fact because i'm extremely dedicated to curating my space

i'm paraphrasing here but i saw a post that said, "every time i see an American [disabled person] mention being scared about the election because they're afraid of losing their benefits i have to laugh. anybody who wants blood-soaked money from the US government deserves to starve" which. like. goodness that's a lot to unpack. i think we should burn the whole suitcase instead !

[helianthus21]

It was hard to surprise your lover when your lover was someone who could pluck your every thought from your mind before you even realized you were thinking them, but luckily for Daniel, Armand was also someone who could get guilted into granting you back some privacy in your own head if you pushed the right buttons.

Nevertheless Daniel felt no small amount of pride when he managed to scratch together his own financial reserve to score the table in the back corner of that fancy restaurant that newly opened, the one Armand mentioned once a while ago in passing, where they would be able to create their own private bubble while warm holiday lights on the ceiling ensured a romantic atmosphere. Romantic, but not over the top so, just like it was to their taste.

The tough part was convincing Armand to hand over the reins to Daniel regarding their plans for the night. Armand had a million different things he wanted to see and do and try out around the city and his schedule was a tight one, so it took Daniel hours of sweet gentle coaxing, seven ounces of his blood and the promise of giving Armand full power of decision over their next movie night to have Armand let go of his plans for one night. Just one single little fucking night.

He almost gave it to him during their stroll along the Seine, because he could be a hopeless romantic sometimes when he felt like it and the situation called for it, and he loved the way the moonlight reflected in the water and the sound of the water lapping softly at the river bank. But tonight, the sight of the moon made Armand gloomy somehow, so Daniel decided to wait until dinner. Daniel’s dinner, that is, but Daniel would find a way to sneak some droplets of blood into Armand's wine glass, of course, and then there was always the possibility of sneaking into the bathrooms for a quick sip, a savory little drink, or of having Armand stop time so they could go at it right there at the table and–

Focus, Daniel.

They were sitting at their cozy table in the corner, under the holiday lights, Daniel’s dinner already served and ready to eat, Armand’s wine glass already spiked. Daniel wanted to wait until after they had eaten and were sated but his heart was pounding like crazy and it was T-minus-nothing until Armand picked up on his heightened heart rate and maybe just a millisecond longer than that until he’d comment on it, so. 

Here goes.

“Got something for you,” Daniel said. There was a grin on his face he couldn’t tamper down but his hands were sweaty and when he reached into his bag in a too-jerky movement to fetch The Box out of its hiding place, it almost slid right out of his grasp. But he caught it. And there it was. With a decisive little thump, he put the box on the table.

Should he get down on a knee? No, this wasn’t like that, of course. 

He was under no illusion that sticking a ring on Armand’s finger would end with them marching down the aisle in matching suits and announcing before some god-of-whatever-religion-Armand-preferred and the world that they were gonna dedicate their lives to each other till dea– 

Well, whatever. It was irrelevant until which point in time. This wasn’t that anyway.

Daniel wasn’t even religious and he didn’t give a rat's ass about matrimony, but it was a symbol and Daniel liked symbols. It represented something. Some deeper meaning, made visible the invisible and expressed the unspoken. Symbols were neat. Armand loved symbols too, loved human customs even more. He was gonna love this one especially. He would get excited over it like a kid on Christmas eve. 

Still, Daniel was nervous. “Uh,” he said. “There. You go. Heh.” He looked at the box. Looked back up at Armand. Licked his lips. “Open it.”

One perfect eyebrow lifted up to the curls that fell artfully into his forehead. Not for a second did Armand's eyes stray from him as he let Daniel take his hand when he didn’t make a move to accept his gift, as he let Daniel drop the box into his palm. He seemed amused by him. 

Finally, Armand lifted the box. He opened the box. 

Daniel's throat got dry. 

Armand examined the contents of the box.

Daniel had taken his time picking it out. He'd gone to six different jewelers, looked at close to thirty different rings until he found the right one, the perfect one. It hadn't been easy. Armand wasn’t an easy person to pick out gifts for, let alone something he was supposed to wear on his finger for an indefinite amount of time. Or like, forever. If Daniel was lucky. 

Armand already had everything for one thing, and what he didn’t have he could afford without batting an eye. Or steal it. Because there was no force in the world powerful enough to keep him from getting whatever he laid his eyes on. Armand was unpredictable, for the other. The things that caught his interest ranged between a little weird and borderline insane and there existed no algorithm in the world capable of predicting what these things would even look like. 

Armand was ancient and elegant, an aura of glamor and mystery surrounding him at all times. Armand was doe-eyed and curious and childlike sometimes, approaching the world like a ten-year-old let loose with twenty bucks in a candy store, and irritable and intemperate like a wild boar in search of its piglets at other times. He was loathsome and thrilling and irresistible at all times, of course. What kind of ring could be any match for the amalgamation of him? For the energy he exuded with every breath, with every step on the very ground that could call itself so lucky to be walked on by him? 

Daniel had found one that came close, at least. 

It was gold, with carvings along its shank and an elegant basket that held a gemstone that seemed to take on different shades of dark blue and black and sometimes even wine-red, like the color of fresh blood, depending on the angle at which you looked at it, and the lighting. The bridge looked at the same time delicate and enduring, just like Armand himself was. Daniel had sacrificed nearly three months' salary to afford it, had risked premature death by secretly measuring Armand's ring finger while Armand had been sleeping.

Now, Armand was looking at the ring. His ring. And he wasn’t saying anything. Daniel held his breath. His heart seemed stuck in his throat.

Then, Armand closed the lid. He put the box back down on the table slowly.

Armand eyed the box for a moment that seemed to stretch into hours. 

Years. 

Centuries. 

That’s how Daniel imagined immortality to feel like, when you were holding it in your palm trying to capture it, to cut it into pieces to no avail, like a rope made of lead. 

Then Armand reached for the box – or not for it, but towards it, stretched out one long perfect finger as if he couldn’t bear touch it with more than the tip of his nail and shoved it back to Daniel’s side of the table. “No,” he said.

Just that.

No.

Daniel blinked at him.

In some distant corner of his brain he was aware that his mouth was open and he must’ve looked like a demented fool to anyone paying attention. But Armand wasn’t, so Daniel couldn’t give a single fuck about whoever else might. Armand wasn’t paying attention to him. His eyes were focused on the tabletop, like the bland white tablecloth was infinitely more interesting than Daniel, or his ring box, or this thing between them and– 

“No?” Daniel repeated.

“No,” Armand confirmed plainly. 

“You don't,” Daniel said. Swallowed down excess saliva. “You don't like it?”

“No,” Armand said once more.

He reached out again, shoved the box further across the table so that it came to a rest just before Daniel’s own hand. “Take it back,” he said, finally looking at him but the neutral expression on his face was almost worse than his ignorance. “I don’t want it.” 

And that was it, Daniel thought as waiters bustled around them, as the clinking of knives and forks on plates continued around them, ignorant, uncaring of Daniel’s humiliation. His terror. That was the sound of his heart breaking. Not with a bang but with a silent whimper, and the fucking dining noises of random fucking walker-ons in the background.

“Right,” he said. “Cool. So.” He eyed the rest of the wine in his glass, suddenly desperate to down it in one go but at the same time afraid his stomach might not tolerate it at this point. He chuckled awkwardly. “I'm, uh. I'm not hungry anymore.”

Abruptly, he got up, his chair screeching against the floor. He grabbed his bag. “Okay,” he said again. “Cool. I’m gonna–”

And with that, he turned tail and ran.

For once, Armand didn’t follow.

daniel thinking armand is so in love with all things human, maybe a ring would be a nice gesture, would also make this thing between them more solid, that armand would appreciate it and maybe it would even warm him up to the idea of turning daniel. but then armand says no

[martyrbat]

habeas corpus – detective comics #1086

(ID in alt!)