#monsters inc custom

[thrawnsromcom]

I adore how this came out and I'm so excited to see him in person! I love how you took an idea and ran with it, turning it into this lovely creation!

Custom Care Bear - Sulley Bear! (Monsters Inc.)

I was a little bored last week, just chatting with some friends on a discord server, and I felt like sewing, so I asked if anyone would like a custom Care Bear.  One of our group members, the always creative @thrawnsromcom , had an interesting suggestion – a Monsters Inc themed bear based on Sulley. 

I just so happened to have a 2018 “Easter” Wish Bear in a lamb costume, as seen in this pic:

l had got her as part of a bulk lot, and honestly had no idea what to do with her.  She ended up being perfect to “cosplay” as something else!

I used a felt-layering technique to make the tummy symbol, with sparkly embroidered outlines.  The pupil of the eye is also embroidered, and scraps of blue fabric from the M made for the perfect foot claws.

The horns are custom made, out of purple cotton.  The hood can still be pulled back, showing regular Care Bear ears underneath.

The old lamb ears were repurposed to make Sulley’s tail! 

Finally, I made a “Little Mikey” plushie to go along with him.  I found the pattern for Little Mikey at the linked youtube video, though I had to modify it a bit due to how tiny the “plushie’s plushie” ended up being.

Little Mikey’s eye and mouth are also hand-embroidered.

Still wish I could have figured out how to give him Sulley’s purple fur splotches (I don’t think I could have pulled off dyeing him without messing up the rest of his fur), but I think he turned out pretty good, all things considering :D

Thanks again, @thrawnsromcom for giving me such a great idea!  I hope you love your bear just as much as I enjoyed making him!  

[nerdytreasuresbyamy]

So much con prep!!

[gabbileonisonhere]

(him being a “dad” just consist of this as of right now)

[raziiyah]

ummm i'm only now realizing i never posted this here? here's my full body design of my human randall boggs that i drew last year!

[sketchysketchiness]

Boo!

[dreamyoctopus]

[assiraphales]

rewatching monsters inc and sully n mike were such an old married couple. met in college (and they were roommates). they worked as a team and lived together for decades despite being independently wealthy. they sat in the living room watching tv in the evenings. their front door was custom made so they could walk out at the same time. drove/walked to work together. well well well well

[kairawrites]

sweet escape.

🌺 masterlist 🌺

pairing: lewis hamilton x his wife

requested: A kiss that tastes of the food/dessert they are eating.

summary: It's your turn to host the sleepover, and the house is crawling with kids. All Lewis wants is to enjoy his favorite snack in peace, but someone else has beaten him to it.

words: 1.7k

It was your turn to host the sleepover, and Ariel and Mason, along with their friends, had been buzzing with excitement all week. Their friends always claimed that you hosted the best sleepovers, and tonight was no exception. The living room had been transformed into a comfort kingdom, a cozy haven that would make any child’s sleepover dreams come true.

The sofa was covered in blankets and pillows, perfectly prepared for you and Lewis to cuddle up later. Roscoe was already settled in, burrowed into one of the blankets. Air mattresses, each adorned with fluffy blankets and an array of pillows, covered the remainder of the living room floor. Pressed together and ready for the kids, they formed cozy nests. String lights hung from the ceiling, casting a warm, twinkling glow over the room, and each air mattress had a customized snack basket placed at the foot, filled with treats specially chosen for each child.

In the kitchen, boxes of freshly delivered pizza sat waiting on the island, their aroma mingling with the sweet scent of the homemade treats you had prepared. After picking up the kids and their friends from their respective homes, Lewis had returned to find this magical setup already prepared and waiting for the night’s festivities. The sight of it had brought a smile to his face—this was exactly what a sleepover should be.

Once Ariel and Mason, along with their friends, were fed and changed into their pajamas, you managed to get them to agree on a movie. They were going to watch Monsters, Inc., a classic that never failed to entertain. The kids settled into their cozy nests of blankets and pillows, their faces illuminated by the soft glow of the string lights as you switched off the overhead light. Lewis watched in awe as you effortlessly managed all eight of them, your voice calm and soothing as you adjusted the volume and made sure everyone was comfortable.

You were wearing pajamas that matched Ariel’s and her friends’—a cute set in soft pink with Hello Kitty prints scattered across the fabric. Lewis, on the other hand, was dressed in black pajamas adorned with Spider-Man prints, matching those of Mason and his friends. His pajama top was emblazoned with the superhero’s web design, while the pants were red with a Miles Morales pattern.

As the kids finally settled into their makeshift beds, Lewis watched you walk over, a smile playing on his lips as you let out a breath, clearly relieved that the evening was under control. He reached out, his fingers lightly touching the hem of your shorts. “Cute pajamas,” he noted.

You giggled as you glanced up at him. “Thanks, but you’re one to talk.” You gestured to his Spider-Man pajamas, and he grinned.

“Hey, don’t be mad I got the better pair,” Lewis said with a chuckle, leaning down to steal a quick kiss.

“I have something for you,” you said, reaching around him. Lewis’s eyes lit up with curiosity and excitement as you produced a personalized snack basket just for him. “The kids wanted to try the peanut butter bites, so I had to give you only two,” you said with a playful grin.

Lewis’s grin widened as he took the basket from you. His hand instantly moved to retrieve a peanut butter bite. A soft moan of appreciation was muffled as he bit into the sweet treat. He’d been looking forward to this moment all day, from the moment he found you pulling out the ingredients in the morning.

“You always spoil me,” he said, giving you a quick kiss before moving to join Roscoe on the sofa, ready to enjoy the treats.

Lewis was sprawled comfortably on the sofa, Roscoe resting contentedly against his chest as he scratched behind the dog’s ears. The kids were thoroughly engrossed, laughing at the antics of Sulley and Mike.

However, something felt off. The absence of your laughter was unusual. You were always the one who laughed the loudest at this film. Lewis lifted his head from the armrest behind him and scanned the room, searching for you.

Seeing that you were nowhere in sight, he figured you might have slipped upstairs for a bit of peace and quiet. With a small smile, he reached into his personalized snack basket, hoping to grab another peanut butter bite. To his dismay, he found that there were none left.

He set the basket aside and rose from the sofa, leaving Roscoe to stretch out in his spot. Lewis headed to the kitchen, opened the fridge, and checked every shelf and corner for any remaining peanut butter bites. His search proved fruitless, leaving him mildly frustrated. He sighed, shutting the fridge.

A thought crossed his mind—maybe, just maybe, there was one last stash hidden away in the pantry. You had the habit of storing treats in the pantry when you wanted to keep them away from the kids.

Lewis opened the pantry door, only to stop in his tracks. There you were, standing in the small pantry, looking a little too guilty for someone just grabbing a snack. Your hand was tucked behind your back, your eyes wide with surprise as you met his gaze.

Lewis raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing on his lips. “So, this is where you’ve been hiding?”

“Just…getting a snack,” you replied.

Lewis’s gaze passed over your face, his eyes lingering for just a moment. He had known you long enough to recognize the subtle signs when you were hiding something. The way your eyes shifted slightly to the side and the faintest of smiles that didn’t quite reach your eyes were all dead giveaways.

He could tell you were trying to play it cool, but he could see through it. “What are you hiding back there?” he asked, a teasing edge to his voice. His expression was one of playful suspicion, a knowing smile tugging at the corners of his lips, his arms crossing over his chest.

“Nothing,” you said quickly, but you took a step back as he advanced.

Lewis leaned in, the familiar scent of chocolate and peanut butter widening his smile. “Is that the last of the peanut butter bites?”

Before he could say another word, you quickly stepped forward, covering his mouth with your hand. “Shh!” you hissed, glancing over his shoulder at the kitchen as if expecting the kids to burst in at any moment.

Lewis chuckled, his laughter muffled against your hand. You guided him by the front of his shirt, pulling him inside the pantry as he reached back to shut the door behind him. The small space felt even smaller with the two of you squeezed inside.

You tried to maintain your composure, but with him this close you failed.

Finally, with a resigned sigh, you looked up at him. “Alright, fine,” you admitted, unable to keep up the pretense any longer. “I took the last of the peanut butter bites.”

Lewis’s eyes lit up with a mix of triumph and amusement. “So, you were hiding them?” he asked, his voice full of mock surprise. “I thought you made these for me.”

Your eyes rolled, yet you allowed him to take a bite out of the bar in your hand. “What if I want them for myself?”

Lewis paused, a mock-serious expression on his face. “Then you shouldn’t have made them so good.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head as you watched him take a second bite. “Guess that’s on me, huh?”

“Yeah, means you gotta share.” Lewis leaned in, his smile widening as he kissed you softly.

You broke the remainder of the bar in half. You held out one piece to Lewis.

“You know,” he said with a chuckle, “I didn’t kiss you just to get that bar.”

You giggled, raising an eyebrow. “Really? I find that hard to believe.”

With a mischievous grin, Lewis leaned in closer, his nose brushing against yours as he placed a second, more lingering kiss on your lips. The sweet taste of peanut butter lingered between you. You could feel the warmth of his hand against the back of your neck.

As he pulled back slightly, his eyes locked onto yours with a playful glint. “Maybe that's all I'm after,” he mumbled, lips brushing against yours again.

Despite the warmth of your husband's lips against yours, you can't help but giggle. “Why are we hiding snacks in our own home?”

The sound of your laughter pulled a smile to your husband’s lips.

“Have you seen the way those kids look at me the second they realize I have food?” His brows raised, Lewis popped the last of his bar into his mouth. “They’ve got their mother’s eyes—big, innocent, and impossible to say no to.”

The two of you stayed there for a few more minutes, savoring a few moments of quiet. Eventually, the sound of muffled laughter pulled your gaze to your husband’s.

“Thanks for sharing,” he smiled softly, gently cupping your face, leaning in for a kiss.

You found yourself pressed against the pantry door, your breath catching as his lips moved against yours with a slow, deliberate intensity. His touch slipping beneath your pajama top.

When he finally pulled back, you were both slightly dazed, your heart racing in your chest. Lewis rested his forehead against yours, his voice a low murmur. “Whose idea was it to invite a bunch of kids to our house again?”

You giggled, remembering the enthusiasm in his voice when he suggested it. “Yours.”

He groaned, shaking his head as he kissed you again, a little less serious this time, more playful. “Remind me to never get any bright ideas.”

“Don’t let them stay up too late,” you warned with a smile. “Or you'll have to wait until tomorrow to get what you want.”

“They’re not the issue,” Lewis teased, his voice soft as his fingers traced your jawline. “Keeping you quiet is.”

You gently rolled your eyes at his teasing, but your heart fluttered as his gaze drifted back to your lips.

“Get rid of the evidence,” you whispered, your smile widening as you reached behind you to open the pantry door.

But before you step out, you stood on your toes and kissed him quickly, a soft, sweet peck that was over almost as soon as it began. Lewis watched you go with a lingering smile.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Monster, Inc. 4

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as age gap, noncon/dubcon, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: your boss is an asshole, you know this. But what happens when he turns his wrath upon you? (plus!reader)

Characters: Lloyd Hansen, this reader is known as Missie.

Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself💜

💼Part of the Bad Bosses AU💼

After a quick Google and a few reviews, you decide on a brand. You pick a box off the shelf. It should do the job as long as you apply it properly. You’re not so worried about yourself. 

Something drops along the edge of your vision and you peek over. A man walks away ignorant of the card left behind. You hurry to scoop it up. 

“Excuse me, sir, you dropped--” You click to a stop in your heels as he faces you. You smile as he mirrors your expression. “Peter!?” 

“Hey, Missie.” His brown eyes beam back at you. “What are the odds?” 

“It’s been so long. Um...” you look down at the card then wiggle it at him. “You dropped this.” 

“Oh, uh, thanks.” 

He accepts the card with a dimple in his cheek. You look at it and realise it’s nothing special. Just a loyalty card from Roasters. It is a great shop. 

“Haven’t heard from you since the paper. You said you’d keep in touch.” He shifts his stance so another customer can squeeze by. 

“Yeah, uh, I meant to. I’ve been really cruddy at keeping up. Work is so busy and--” 

“What’s that for?” He quickly redirects as he points at the box in your hands. “You dye your hair? Wouldn’t guess it.” 

“Oh, no it’s for... my boss,” you giggle. 

“Your boss. Right. I’m sorry, what exactly do you do now?” 

“I’m a PA. My boss is just demanding. That’s all. But it’s good pay and it keeps me on my toes.” 

“Ah, I left the paper too. Started my own photography business.” He explains. 

“I saw that on Insta! I follow you. Your stuff is so good.” 

“You follow me but you don’t message,” he crosses his arms. 

“I’m sorry,” you pout. You rattle the box in your hands. You don’t want to be abrupt but you really can’t keep Mr. Hansen waiting too long and you still need to grab shampoo. 

“We should catch up. How about dinner? What are you doing tonight?” Peter asks. 

“Oh, er, nothing.” 

“Great. How about Zak’s? That old sandwich shop near the paper. I remember your fave; the spicy italian with extra pickles.” He grins triumphantly. 

“Sure, that sounds awesome. Just... send me a message, okay? I gotta get back to my boss.” 

“Sure, don’t let her work you too hard,” he steps out of your way. 

“He,” you correct him. “It’s not hard work, just a lot.” 

You sweep down the aisle and grab a clarifying shampoo on your way to the checkout. Even just a few minutes is too long for Mr. Hansen and in his state, you don’t expect him to be any calmer. All you can hope for is that the remover works out. 

Back at the office, you measure your dread. It won’t be that bad. You can fix this. Maybe. You grabbed some dye too, hoping maybe you might be able to even everything out after. 

You drop your purse on your desk and flit over to Mr. Hansen’s office. You knock and hear him groaning from inside. As you enter, he’s bent over his lap, holding his head. He sits up so fast his chair teeters. He faces your chirpy greeting. 

“Mr. Hansen,” you sing, “I got everything we need.” 

“Why the fuck are you so cheery?” 

As you look at him, like really look at him, you find it hard not to laugh. He really does look awful. He’s not exactly your type but he isn’t too bad most days. The black dye just washes him out. He looks like Dracula if he was in a 70s adult flick. 

“So, we need to wash your hair. I figured we can use your sink. I even grabbed a towel.” 

“You think of everything, don’t you?” He hisses. 

“Sir, I think we can fix your hair.” 

He scowls and stands. He shakes his head and slinks to the en suite bathroom. You follow with the bag of goodies. He looms with arms crossed as you put it on the counter and unpack. 

“You can put the towel around your collar to keep the remover from dripping. Tuck it in to--” 

Before you can finish, his shirt is half unbuttoned. You turn to unbox the remover and peel the seal of the bottle as you quiet. Whatever’s easier, you suppose. He hangs his shirt on the back of the door and comes back to you. You get a glimpse of his chest hair in the mirror. 

“Alright, erm, bend over the sink and we need to wash your hair. How about you put the towel over your eyes--” 

“I can handle it.” He snatches the towel and folders it over his forehead and eyes. He bends over the sink. His broad shoulders strain as his muscles tighten. “Don’t fuck up my hair.” 

You want to tell him you don’t think it can get worse but you know better. You take one of the paper cups from the stack and crank on the faucet.  You feel the temperature before you fill the cup and carefully pour it over his head. You wet all the strands and squirt shampoo onto his hair. You lather it up, scratching his scalp with your nails. 

“Mmmph,” he purrs as your work away. You smile. He’s a bit like a cat. Cranky but manageable. 

You rinse his hair methodically. You make sure not to get any near his face as you use your hand to redirect the water. When you finish, you help him cover his hair with the towel. 

You roll in his chair from the office and have him sit. You rub the moisture of his hair with the towel and drape it around his shoulders. You pull the gloves on and mix up the remover in the bottle then take the comb out of the box. You go to Mr. Hansen as he sits, looking despondent. 

“It fucking reeks,” he wrinkles his nose at the odour. 

“I did warn you but once we rinse it out, you’ll be good as new.” You comb his hair back, then forward, and pull out a thin section. You slather it on precisely as you work through the strands. 

As you pay close attention to your task, you feel the tension ease from him. When you get through the longer pieces on the top of his head, you push the back again. You use your gloved fingers to do his sides, rubbing in the remover on the buzzed stubble. As you do, he closes his eyes and leans into your touch. 

Well, it’s better than him being angry. This might be the most relaxed you’ve ever seen Mr. Hansen. 

[anundyingfidelity]

YES, MA’AM — Sam Winchester/Sam Wesson ft. Dean Winchester/Dean Smith (Chapter I)

Summary: Sam is the new tech support guy at Sandover Bridge & Iron Inc., and he thinks you, his supervisor, are related to him in ways more than professional. He not only dreams of ghosts and Dean Smith, the sales and marketing director, but you, the pretty boss who seems very fond of him, maybe a little too much.

Word count: 1.3k.

Pairing: Sam W./Sam Wesson x female reader (main), Dean W./Dean Smith x female reader. Situated in 4x17 - It's a Terrible Life.

Warnings for this series: smut with plot, sexual tension, sub!Sam, dom!reader, switch!Dean, co-workers with benefits with Dean, boss/employee dynamics, canon violence and stuff. Slow updates oops.

Notes: welcome to my very first spn fanfic, hope you enjoy this short series of Sam and Dean!

If you'd like to be added, the taglist is here!

☕ if you like my writing, support me with a ko-fi !

GEN MASTERLIST!

Chapter I | Chapter II

Chapter I: A Boring Life

Taking a quick look at the clock on the corner of the screen of his computer, Sam let out a long sigh. Lunch hour was far from near. He continued drawing the monsters he saw in his dreams on the notebook, those who wouldn't let him continue his abnormally boring and stupid life.

"Hey, Sam," a voice called, making him jump slightly on his seat.

He cleared his throat shutting the notebook and sitting right this time as he took in your figure towering over him in the cubicle with a smile on your lips.

"Hi, uhm... Is something wrong?"

You chuckled slightly. He wanted to slap himself for saying that. For Sam, bosses coming to him meant he might have done something wrong. He didn't want to know what he screwed up. Barely three weeks have passed since he started working there. As much as things were strange and weird around, Sam just wanted a quiet life.

"Not at all," you answered in a friendly manner. "Actually I just wanted to give you kudos. I've received good compliments from customers who called for help, you're doing excellent!"

Sam breathed out, feeling a heavy weight on his back dropping. He smiled. "Well, thank you. It feels good doing that."

But a raise or something would feel absolutely better, he thought.

"Sure! You're brilliant, have you ever been told that?"

"Uhm, not here. I mean- I want to say you're the first one. Sorry, the first one to say I'm brilliant, I- uhm I never really got kudos before? I don't think so but it does feel great."

He stumbled so much with his words that it made you laugh a little but he noticed you tried to suppress it. So you gave him a nod.

"Yeah, of course. I also see you're very organized with your stuff and reports," you remarked before taking a quick glance around and leaning a little bit toward him, your face morphing into a shy look. "Probably I shouldn't but could you help me with some reports today? You'd be off the phone, I just really need to send them by the end of the day and I'm extremely busy."

You bit your painted lower lip with big doe eyes, waiting for an answer. Since the first day he saw you around the company, he thought you looked extremely familiar. Like he had seen you before. Hell, it was like he knew you ages ago. But he wouldn't say it out loud, he might look like a creep.

You'd usually come like this to his spot just to talk and get into business, sometimes he'd go to ask you something he wasn't sure about from a call, but he never, ever herd from a complaint or that his work was shit from you. In fact, you were very kind and smart, always letting him know you were there if he needed anything. And you were pretty. So damn beautiful that you got his heart agitated and his body aching when you bent over a desk wearing tight black pencil skirts and those matching high stockings. He began to think probably you liked him but you used to get close to all of your employees on the tech support floor. You were just being nice to everyone.

"Uh, sure. I can do that," Sam curved his lips into a smile.

"Thank you, you're a lifesaver! I'll send you those in your email, ask me anything if it's difficult, okay?"

You responded with happy demeanour and quickly walked away back to your office, leaving him alone before he had the moment to say something. Just two minutes later he received an email from you with a bunch of reports and data to organize.

Sam scanned the files quickly while hearing the sounds of a chair rolling to his side.

"I think she likes you, man," Ian, the messy and chill coworker of his, teased. Sam chuckled.

"Nah, she's just nice to everyone. Besides, she needs help."

Suddenly, a notification popped from the side of his screen on the computer.

It was a message from you. It read:

Put on the headphones and listen to some music if you want ;)

"You were saying?" Ian joked again.

He smiled. Well, at least he'd be off the phone. Shouldn't be that hard, right?

The night fell and Sam found himself alone on his desk at eight o'clock working on your reports. Seeing the long reports and files he thought could make it on time to finish his shift at four and leave on time. It was fucking Friday. Poor him.

At least you ordered delivery for dinner for both of you. The good thing was that he wasn't really alone on the floor, you were in your office but soft music played as you worked on your stuff. Moments later, you found yourself sitting by Sam's side as he worked the final things on the last report.

"It's done," he announced, his body falling to the backrest of his chair.

"Thanks," you whispered shyly as he sent the finished files back to you. "I'm so sorry though, it's so late."

"Well, didn't have anything to do either."

"Really?!"

Your surprise made his eyes fall on you. He shrugged. "Just sleep."

You raised your eyebrows. "I thought maybe a girlfriend was waiting for you or something?"

He shook his head, pressing his lips together. "No, nothing like that."

The question was odd coming from you, so he decided to play a little.

"What about you?"

This time you shook your head. "Just my books and my TV."

Sam hummed. "It's a boring life, isn't it?"

"Yeah, well I get to pay my bills by the end of the month... And I meet nice people here... And I see you- Sorry."

You cut off your words all of a sudden, your eyes blinking rapidly saying you realized what you just said.

"My bad. We should get going."

You gave him a smile to try and brush off your words, but they were strong enough to get in Sam's head unnoticed. He watched you walk away, turning your computer and lights off on your office as Sam did the same on his spot. Once done, you walked out the floor together in silence.

"Thank you again. I don't think no one would ever do this for me here," you admitted with a deep exhale.

"Yeah, no problem," Sam smiled kindly as you got closer to the elevator.

"Really, I owe you. Do you have a car to get home or something? I can give you a ride if you need."

"I do, don't worry," he said as you stopped in front of the elevator, the doors opening.

"Great, so I think this is it," you grinned at him. "Have a good night."

"Thanks. I hope you have a good weekend, boss."

You nodded. "You too, Sam. Take care."

He saw you disappearing inside the elevator with a wave of your hand and a beautiful smile on your face. With a sigh, he made his way to the locker room and took his briefcase and stuff out. It was just a couple of minutes that he saw you leaving when he went back to the elevator. Checking his watch, the lift arrived and before he could get inside, he got a shocking picture in front of him.

Dean Smith, the marketing director, had you pinned against the wall and kissing down your neck. Your blouse unbuttoned, skirt up, lips open and eyes closed in bliss. Dean noticed the doors were open, pulling away his plump lips from your skin.

"Sorry buddy, wrong floor," he beamed and pushed the right button.

When you opened your eyes once again, you met Sam's open mouth and wide eyes as the doors closed. Great, now he might think you're a slut. 

[meli-writes]

Writing Masterpost (updated: 26/11/2024)

bio & expectations (for me) here.

welcome to my index of writing where i love vulnerable, intimate writing about kink, violence, and lesbians. stories sorted into categories and listed in recommended reading order, with word count so you can figure out reading time (avg 250/minute).

stories with sexual content marked with (18+), in bold if hardcore, stories with CWs marked with (CW), in bold if they're more serious (i.e explicit violence or sexual assault). unmarked stories may still be erotic or contain violence, but it should be light and non-intense.

---

Kayspace

sci-fi setting (inc. for my VN, dekaton date knight). weird technology and literal seas between the stars, with themes about bodily autonomy/consent (esp trans & disabled bodies), anarchist/statist conflict, decaying imperialism, and anti-colonialism.

Mistakes - 2.5K (18+)(CW) prologue. precarity and emotional labour of a space-station escort, the pirate who's got her on retainer, and the mistakes she can't help but keep making.

Bitch Devourer - 3.3K remnant cavalier gets caught by a rebel with a very misinformative callsign. Ch. 01 - 0.45K (18+) Ch. 02 - 0.9K (18+)(CW) Ch. 03 - 2.0K (18+)(CW)

Blood Sugar - 1.1K runaway sugar baby wakes up in a mech pilot medbay, with none of their own blood. Ch. 01 - 1.1K (18+)(CW) Ch. 02 - ???

---

Monsters

usually urban fantasy w/ vampires, werewolves, and witches too. has my own rules for curses & magic to make things cuter and gayer. mostly setting for hunter's mark.

Long Time, No Shear - 3.2K (18+) a sheep-girl is desperate for someone to shear her for summer, and to not be weird about it. Ch. 01 - 3.2K Ch. 02 - ???

Bitch-Princess of Toronto - 1.2K (18+) ezra caught a runaway vampire last week, and now she's sitting in her fellow werewolf's lap.

Blood Pressure - 1.5K (CW) defeated, closeted huntress gets enthralled & mommy'd by an ancient vampiress.

---

Magical Girls

anything where girls get magic powers from space rocks and then get into various superhero/supervillain-based stories. might crossover with criminal stuff.

Little Miss Laser - 11.5K clueless biker-girl villain tries kidnapping the trans magical girl she's smitten with and it goes awkwardly wrong, finding out there's more to her than she thought. Ch. 01 - 4.7K (18+)(CW) Ch. 02 - 6.8K (18+)(CW) Ch. 03 - ???

House Bound - 1.5K ruby's stuck on house arrest duty for a villain, its ex, who won't stop trying to seduce it.

---

Criminals

little girls in a big underworld w/ spies, thieves, smugglers, and more. sometimes magic, sometimes mundane.

Prescription - 2.0K (18+)(CW) thief who has to steal to get her meds, caught & punished by mommy mob boss.

Coffee? Vodka. - 1.4K a thief goes to their fence for something different than the usual toys. Ch. 01 - 1.1K Ch. 02 - 0.75K

Slipping Away - 1.5K exposed spy is waiting for her rival to come and kill her, but doesn't want to go. Ch. 01 - 0.35K (CW) Ch. 02 - 0.65K Ch. 03 - 0.55K (CW)

L'État, C'est Mecanisée - 0.95K the royal palace burns and its empress is chained to a clockwork operating table.

Le Loup Des Mers - 1.0K a pirate wakes up with an unexpected guest bound in her bed.

---

Fantasy

usually lots of princesses and adventurers getting into trouble. maybe some angel/demon things, some monsters and others, cos it's a looser category.

Truth to be Dared - 7.1K whoever catches the faun gets the princess, so what if the princess does? Ch. 01 - 0.65K (18+)(CW) Ch. 02 - 1.4K (18+)(CW) Ch. 03 - 1.0K Ch. 04 - 1.6K (18+) Ch. 05 - 2.4K (18+)(CW) Ch. 06 - ???

Short Rest - 1.1K the barbarian cursed to forget and the cleric who is definitely just her roommate.

Consort - 1.1K a demon queen breaks her promise to a princess, and wreathes her neck in silver roses. Ch. 01 - 0.4K (18+)(CW) Ch. 02 - 0.7K (18+)(CW)

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Modern

professors and students, doctors and nurses, maids and anything else a little more down to earth.

Cupcakes - 1.2K (18+) waitress closing up has to deal with the asshole customer who came back to apologise.

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Science Fiction

mech pilots, starship pilots, and other space opera drama that doesn't fit into kayspace.

Mechismo - 4.3K a mech pilot works hard for her civilian 'shore-girl' and is owed some sweetness. No. 01 - 0.85K /// Shore-Girl No. 02 - 0.75K /// Declassified No. 03 - 1.0K (18+) /// Speak No. 04 - 0.75K /// Hit List No. 05 - 0.95K (CW) /// Abdication

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Fanfic

writing based on other's stories, works from tumblr or elsewhere. done for learning & self-indulgent fun.

Thirty-Six - 2.7K (18+)(CW) / +2.8K Original [1][2][3] by Caffeinated Otter a fixer teaches her captive thief a lesson, but which one will break first?

Leap Year - 0.55K (18+)(CW) epilogue to Thirty-Six. a cut-loose thief stills keeps in touch.

Roxanne - 3.9K / +0.55K Original by Caffeinated Otter a regrettable career in bounty hunting, a blahaj, and a fugitive tucked under a blanket. Ch. 01 - 1.9K Ch. 02 - 2.0K

Sex Pollen - 0.95K (18+) / +0.7K Original by Caffeinated Otter yvrette's cheating ex has the most embarrassing alien illness, can she forgive her?

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Essays

or rather extended posts expressing my thoughts that relate (usually) to writing or the topics i write about.

an erotic iconoclasm against patriarchal gender & sexuality dividing line between concept & story an ode to chosting every tumblr post about mecha doll as an expression of gender

[dullgecko]

Two things, 1) sorry if this is long and I ramble and 2) even if this is a pretty light hearted headcannon, I'm going to add a trigger warning just in case because I don't wanna trigger anyone on accident.

TW: Knife

I feel like Fabian would buy the bad kids knives. It started with Kristen, she is their healer and only has her staff as a weapon. Then it was Adaine and Fig because they are also magic users and, even though they have better weapons than Kristen, it is always nice to have a secret knife. He made it very clear that he knows they can all hold themselves great in battle but it is good to have a weapon that none knows about. He got ones for Gorgug and Riz because he didn't want them to be left out and also just in case. He also got himself one. Riz is scary with knives. I have a few thoughts about what kind he would get them but I wanted to know what you think he would get them!

Kristen LOVES her knive, Fabian got it when he went to visit his grandfather over a long weekend. Its small and the blade is as sharp as a scalpel which he thought was fitting given it was for their primary healer (thats also what she ended up naming it, because she thought it was funny). It wasnt specifically forged for her but Telemaine had a lot of elven forged blades lying around that he had apparently forged for 'practice' thousands of years ago and had just tossed in a corner that he let Fabian take. Its incredibly light, and the handle is covered in beautiful engravings that Fabian did himself with the help of Telemaine. He even gave her a matching scabbard, so she can clip it to the back of her belt so she has easy access if it's needed.

Once he decorated one for Kristen he realised that it would be weird to just gift ONE friend a custom blade, so he just decided to engrave one for all of them.

Adaine gets a very short dagger, small enough to be kept hidden under her jacket as a backup. She hasnt acually used it in a fight yet but it makes an EXCELLENT package-opener. Even though she's constantly using it to cut through cardboard, the dagger hasnt lost any of its sharpness yet.

Fig doesn't seem to really understand the concept of a HIDDEN blade, given that she's constantly fidgeting with hers at every opportunity. Hers is an incredibly thin stilleto dagger that when she's not messing around with it she keeps it tucked into one of her boots.

Gorgugs, Fabian thinks, was his grandfathers attempt to make a machete. It's massive for a half-elf but just the right size for their barbarian to keep hidden on his person. Somehow, despite being made of the same elven metal as all the others, it's also incredibly /heavy/. The heft of it probably would help a normal blade cut through thick vegetation but the keenness of the blade makes the weight totally unnecessary. Gorgug dropped it once and it buried itself up to the handle in concrete like it was hot butter.

Fabian had a tough time finding something that he thought would be functional for Riz, given his size, but he ended up settling on a pair of karambits with rings on the end so the goblin could spin them around to adjust his grip. He thought the claw-like shape and small size suited the goblin the best and he was pleased when he absoloutly LOVED them. Riz immediatly ended up readjusting his loadout to incorporate them in a holster hidden against the small of his back under his vest. They become Riz's favorite close-range sneak attack weapon and Fabian thinks of them as his friends 'backup claws'.

Riz is by far the best out of all of them at combat with daggers even though he prefers to fight long range and USUALLY if he gets in close he defaults to his claws and teeth. He'll use blades up close if he knows whatever they're fighting tastes bad though (he has a particular dislike for biting undead enemies), some things he also just doesnt want in his mouth (plant monsters can be tricky and he has more than once had to pop some allergy medication after a fight because it left his mouth incrediby itchy).

[nbwriteschaos]

re: writing commissions.

---- my writing commissions are OPEN! all info can be found within this post or in this google doc. please dm for any inquiry or request!!

!!!fiction, nonfiction, original works, smut, etc!!!

1 thousand words ♡ $10 USD

2 thousand words ♡ $12 USD

3 thousand words ♡ $15 USD

4 thousand words ♡ $20 USD

5 thousand to 10 thousand words ♡ starts at $25 USD

---- all payments are processed through paypal only. payments must be submitted first before i begin the commission. refunds are not available but i will rewrite a commission if you are not satisfied :)

more below ...

(this may format a little funny as i'm copying and pasting some info from my doc, sorry!!)

-- as for pricing

((I do not accept negotiations as far as pricing! I’ve priced my commissions based on what I think my time and effort is worth while also maintaining affordability. There are to be NO REFUNDS.  If you are unsatisfied with the result of your commission I am open to rewriting it once more to ensure your satisfaction. All payments are accepted through Paypal. I am working on opening some sort of website to provide the best experience for commissions as well, but for now, Paypal and Tumblr are the best I’ve got. 

Please let it be noted that although I am an experienced writer, I do not have the qualifications of a professional published author. I am simply a person at their laptop trying to build a future career as a writer :)

You will not be charged if I go over your paid word count!!

Custom word counts between 5k and 10k will be charged based on how I see fit. **It will not go over $60 USD** ))

-- as for boundaries

i will write mostly anything. even if it seems a little questionable, i'll probably do it. for example:

a super sad angsty character death probably nobody but yourself would want to read, that one coffee shop/tattoo artist au you've been wanting to read but can't find on ao3, or like, idk, a fantasy involving d*bcon, f*rry, p*ssplay, whump/whumpee, mpr*g, terat*philia (monster fucking), obscure s*xual organs, g*re (ask me about this one if you are looking for smut involving g*re), v*yeurism, size differences, or other common k*nks.

i do request some sort of age verification if you are commissioning for smut.

strict NOs:

No extreme depictions of SH or s*icide. No animal a*use, death or g*re. Nothing depicting extreme homophobia or transphobia. No politics or opinion-based pieces of writing. No depictions of child or adult a*use of any kind. No extreme drug use. No underage, fe*derism, sc*t/f*rts/underarms/feet/sneezing, be*stiality, n*ncon, age pl*y/massive age difference, inc*st.

i have a right to deny any commission for any reason!

-- as for fandoms

I can and will attempt to write for any fandom I am not familiar with so long as there is enough info that has been provided for it!! However, I can’t guarantee it will be perfect. Here are fandoms I am familiar with and will write for: 

Anime/Cartoons: Genshin Impact, My Hero Academia, Tokyo Ghoul, Toilet Bound Hanako Kun, Fullmetal Alchemist, Death Note, Chainsaw Man, Spy x Family, Jujutsu Kaisen, My Melody, Free!!!, Haikyuu!!!, One Punch Man, Mob Psycho 100, Demon Slayer, Hunter x Hunter, JJBA, Black Butler, Bungou Stray Dogs, Yuri on Ice, Kakegurui, Attack on Titan, Noragami, Adventure Time, Steven Universe. Probably more, just ask! 

Books: The Raven Cycle, The Dreamer Trilogy, Simon Snow Trilogy, The Foxhole Court series. Monstrous Series. Anything more obscure check out my Goodreads profile!! 

I am 100% down to write your original characters and plots!! In fact, I encourage it! For maximum accuracy, please provide as much information as you can for each character, plot, setting, etc! 

if you have any other questions feel free to send a DM or an ask and i'll get back to you as soon as possible! you can also check out the doc to see if it is answered there!

if you read this far, please feel free to reblog just to spread the love. i'd really appreciate it! thank you!!!

[marcmarcmomarc]

Miraculous

Chapter 8: Marinette’s New Friends

(Now, the sun shines pink on the morning sky. Our view sinks, showing a Panera Bread on 473 N Alafaya Trail in Waterford Lakes Town Center. A cab pulls up to its entrance and Marinette exits.)

MARINETTE: Thanks!

CAB DRIVER: No prob, Marinette!

(Marinette walks inside. Her first person view takes in the busy restaurant. Characters from the The Incredibles, The Loud House, Home, Coco, Angry Birds, Trolls, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Gravity Falls, How to Train Your Dragon, Monsters, Inc., Despicable Me, and Hotel Transylvania franchises eye her as she enters and murmur to each other.)

SULLEY: Guys, look.

SMIDGE: Oh, my gah.

LINCOLN: Is that…?

(Lynn Loud Jr. gasps.)

LUNA: Dudes, it’s her.

(As they continue murmuring, Marinette walks to the cashier, a brown woman with a bowl haircut.)

CROSSOVER CHARACTERS: (WALLA) In the flesh?…I don’t believe it…Crazy…We never get celebrities around here…Is this really happening?

CASHIER: Ah, Miss Marinette Dupain-Cheng, how’s your day?

MARINETTE: Oh, it’s fi-Wait. Since l got here, people have been looking only at me andreferring to me by name. What’s going on?

CASHIER: Well, it’s because everyone knows who you are. You star on a French kids’ show, Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir.

MARINETTE: For real? Wow. So I’m guessing you know who Cat Noir is.

CASHIER: Yep. But his secret identity wouldn’t interest you. And I’m guessing Tikki is hanging out in your purse.

MARINETTE: Yep.

TIKKI: You guessed right.

(The others look on as Tikki leaves her bag.)

CASHIER: So, do the traitors bring you to the United States?

MARINETTE: Of course! Has anyone in here had a dream?

LUNA-TK: I once had a dream. I’m Luna-TK. Hey, Luna! Hit me with some music!

LUNA: You got it, dudette!

(Luna Loud strums her guitar. Marinette looks at her, then back at Luna-TK, who sings.)

LUNA-TK: (SINGING) I’ve been told I’m behind on reactions, they wait my overreactions I try to tell them that I’m taking my time But despite my overwork, and every time I quirk I’ve secretly wanted to be a mime Can’t you see me on the street performing to the public? It is a way to blow off steam Yeah, I know I’d have to retire, but my acts are bound to expire

LUNA-TK: Don’t you think?

LUNA-TK: (SINGING) ‘Cause way down deep inside, I’ve got a dream

ALL: She’s got a dream, she’s got a dream

LUNA-TK: Each and every day, I like to daydream As the rest, I’m not the same, but no one else can take the blame But like everyone else, I’ve got a dream

MARINETTE: Wow. That’s pretty good.

LUNA-TK: Yeah. But if you think that’s something, then listen to my friend, JD Shadow. Sing it!

JD SHADOW: I’ve been told I’m such a dummy That I’m as thick as a gummy And that my mouth looks like an alligator’s But now the insults are gone, and people seem to fawn But I think it’s clear that there are still haters My dream is to decrease the criticism No, not as much as it may seem And I am reasonable fellow, I’m soft, and I’m mellow ‘Cause way down deep inside, I’ve got a dream

(A rope strapped to the collar of her top, Lucy Loud swings in circles over the customers.)

JD SHADOW: I’ve got a dream

ALL: He’s got a dream

JD SHADOW: I’ve got a dream

ALL: He’s got a dream

JD SHADOW: Everyone’s mood will very surely gleam Yes, I might not be very lucky, And the outcome could be yucky And every girl will be a queen But like everyone else, I’ve got a dream

(Bridget grooves with Poppy on her left palm.)

POPPY: The Bergens would like to party with us Trolls

(Chuck runs circles around a table.)

RED: Chuck would like to run a marathon

(Dash does the same with another table.)

BOB: Dash is always on

(Earl flexes.)

FLINT: Officer Earl is full of brawn

(Luan puppets her dummy, Mr. Coconuts. Luna continues strumming. Cloud Guy ripples his arms as he floats by.)

ALL: Luan jokes, Luna rocks Could Guy wears all the socks

LUNA-TK: And Terence is a bruiser with a soft center

(The hulking bird grins.)

LUNA-TK: So, how about you, Marinette?

MARINETTE: What?

RBNVIDS: What’s your dream?

MARINETTE: Alright. Beat, please?

(As Luna continues playing, Marinette gets onto a table and sings.)

MARINETTE: (SINGING) I’ve got a dream

ALL: She’s got a dream

MARINETTE: I’ve got a dream

ALL: She’s got a dream

MARINETTE: I just want to have some friends outside my dreams

TIKKI: We don’t care if they’re so hairy, we’re just so glad we left Paris

MARINETTE AND TIKKI: Like all you lovely folks, we’ve got a dream

(Lucy drops from the ceiling by a noose beside Marinette.)

ALL: They’ve got a dream, we’ve got a dream They’ve got a dream, we’ve got a dream

(Watching the welcoming crew dance, Marinette smies)

ALL: So our differences ain’t really that extreme We’re one big team

(Marinette gets picked up by Screech and carried across the restaurant.)

SULLEY: Call us brutal!

HICCUP: Sick!

GRU: Sadistic!

LYSS AND SIEBEE: And grotesquely optimistic

(He drops her at the Loud girls, who toss her upward happily.)

ALL: ‘Cause way down deep inside We’ve got a dream

(We glimpse several of the Crossover Characters dancing.)

DON: I’ve got a dream

LUAN: I’ve got a dream

VIOLET: I’ve got a dream

EDITH: I’ve got a dream

DENNIS: I’ve got a dream

MARINETTE: I’ve got a dream

ALL: Yes, way down deep inside I’ve got a dream

(During the last line, Lyss and Siebee lift Marinette onto an arm throne. As Marinette spreads her arms wide, Tikki floats beside her head. Our view, like a drone, flies in circles around them, taking in all of Marinette’s new friends.)

ALL: Yeah!

(As Lyss and Siebee set Marinette down, the girl takes in her supporters.)

LUNA-TK: You’re welcome to join us.

MARINETTE: Thanks.

(She joins Luna-TK at her table.)

LUNA-TK: So, again, I’m Luna-TK. I’m engaged to a lovely man and I’m also the leader of this group.

LYSS: I’m Lyss.

SIEBEE: And I’m Siebee.

@shadydoorags-blog: Hey, hello, how do you do? I’m Shady Doorags. I’m a big superhero fan. And your show doesn’t exactly get superhero tropes right.

MARINETTE: Oh.

@luminara713: I’m Momo.

BETH: I’m Beth.

MIRANDA: I’m Miranda.

SHARKI: I’m Sharki.

SHADOW: I’m Shadow Tag.

RHILENTLESS: I’m Rhilentless.

GABI: I’m Gabi.

KATHY: I’m Kathy.

JAKE: I’m Jake.

JACK: I’m Jack.

EMI: I’m Emi.

MOMO: We make up The 86th Floor: Cosplay Revolutions.

MIRANDA: So your world isn’t set in the Sims universe? Alright, then.

@calxiyn: Good day, I’m Calxiyn.

ROBYN: What’s up? I’m Robyn.

HARMONY: I’m Hungary Harmony.

SOFIA: I’m Sofia LaVoice.

CAMRYN: I’m Camryn.

YACKACHOO: I’m Yackachoo.

JD: I’m JD Shadow.

BOB: I’m Bob Parr. Like you, I have a superhero identity. Mr. Incredible’s the name, strength is the game.

HELEN: I’m Helen Parr. My moniker is Elastigirl. Stretchiness is what I do.

VIOLET: I’m Violet Parr. I have two powers. I can turn invisible and make force fields.

DASH: I’m Dashiell Parr. Call me Dash. Super speed is my power.

BOB: My youngest son, Jack-Jack Parr, has seventeen powers.

LUCIUS: I’m Lucius Best, also known as Frozone. My specialty? Ice.

E: I’m Edna Mode. You can call me E, darling. I have designed suits for Supers across many years. Do not ask me to design a cape for you, darling.

WINSTON: I’m Winston Deavor. Call me Win. As owner of DEVTech, I have helped bring Supers back into the light and legality.

TONY: I’m Tony Rydinger, Vi’s boyfriend.

KARI: I’m Kari McKeen, her bestie, and a skilled babysitter.

VOYD: I’m Voyd. What I can do is make portals.

(Voyd drops a juice box from her table and drops it in Marinette’s hands with portals.)

MARINETTE: Ooh. Thanks.

MIRAGE: I’m Mirage. Used to work for a selfish evil-doer called Syndrome, I now work with the government and am dating Win.

DICKER: I’m Rick Dicker. Former agent of the Super Relocation Program, which has shut down.

KRUSHAUER: I’m Krushauer. Crusher of metal objects.

HE-LECTRIX: I’m He-lectrix. Zapping electrically is my power.

REFLUX: I’m Reflux. My magma barf, medical condition? Superpower? You decide.

BRICK: I’m Brick. As strong as Mr. Incredible.

SCREECH: I’m Screech. I contain the characteristics of an owl.

LINCOLN: I’m Lincoln Loud. Man with the plan and middle child between ten sisters.

CLYDE: I’m Clyde McBride. Lincoln’s best friend.

LINCOLN: And together, we’re…

LINCOLN AND CLYDE: …Clincoln McCloud.

LORI: I’m Lori Loud. Firstborn of the Loud kids, high school graduate, and freshman at Fairway University.

LENI: I’m Leni Loud. O-M-gosh, I am so into fashion.

LUNA: I’m Luna Loud. I’m a rockstar, dude.

LUAN: I’m Luan Loud, the family comedian. Say, Mr. Coconuts, how many cockroaches does it take to screw in a lightbulb? (AS MR. COCONUTS) “Who knows, toots? When the light comes on, they scatter.” (LAUGHS) Get it?

LYNN: I’m Lynn Loud Jr., name a sport, I play it. From football, to lacrosse, to ice hockey, to baseball, to basketball, to roller derby.

LUCY: I’m Lucy Loud.

(Marinette jumps.)

MARINETTE: Ah! Jeez.

LUCY: I know. That happens all the time. I like poetry and anything spooky, and I’m the president of the Royal Woods Elementary School Morticians Club.

LANA: I’m Lana Loud.

LOLA: And I’m Lola Loud.

LANA AND LOLA: (IN UNISON) We’re twins. Can you tell?

LANA: I’m a grease monkey, and love getting dirty.

LOLA: I’m a pageant princess. Over ten sashes in my inventory.

LISA: I’m Lisa Loud. I spend my days conducting empirical procedures arbitrating competing models or hypotheses, street name, scientific experiments, in my room.

LILY: Lily Loud. Lily just started preschool.

LYNN SR.: I’m Lynn Loud Sr., father to these wild kiddos, and I own a restaurant. Stop by Lynn’s Table sometime.

RITA: I’m his wife, Rita Loud. I’m a writer.

HOWARD: I’m Howard McBride. He’s my husband, Harold.

HAROLD: We’re Clyde’s dads.

MR. GROUSE: I’m Bud Grouse, the Louds’ next-door neighbor. If you want to appease me, I take lasagna.

RONNIE ANNE: I’m Ronnie Anne Santiago. I used to pick on Lincoln when I lived in Royal Woods. My family moved to Great Lakes City.

SID: And she met me, Sid Chang.

BOBBY: I’m Bobby Santiago. Just like my abuelo, I hope to run a mercado.

ROSA: I’m Rosa Casagrande, the matriarch of the house, and family cook.

HECTOR: I’m Hector Casagrande, owner of the family bodega.

ROSA: And a gossiper.

HECTOR: I do not gossip, cariña.

MARIA: I’m Maria Casagrande-Santiago. I work a tiring job as a nurse.

ARTURO: I’m Arturo Santiago, a veterinarian.

CARLOS: I’m Carlos Casagrande, the brains of the family, and a college professor.

(A camera flash startles Marinette.)

MARINETTE: Ow.

FRIDA: I’m his wife, Frida Puga Casagrande.

MARINETTE: The family photographer?

FRIDA: Sí. (TEARING UP) You guessed right.

CARLOTA: I’m Carlota Casagrande. Also a fashionista.

CJ: I’m Carlos Jr. Casagrande. You can call me CJ. Any traitors that cross you will walk the plank!

CARL: I’m Carlino Casagrande. I get the ladies to come for me.

CARLOTA: In his self-proclaimed stud dreams.

FRIDA: This is Carlitos Casagrande. (COOING) Who’s a little copycat? Who’s a cute little copycat? Is it you? Yes, you are.

TIP: I’m Gratuity Tucci. You can call me Tip. I was the only escapee when an alien species called the Boov invaded.

OH: But then she did the meeting of me, Captain Oh, and everything did the changing.

MARINETTE: Oh?

OH: That comes from the way other Boovs did the responding to my presence.

LUCY: I’m Lucy Tucci, Tip’s mom.

KYLE: I am Officer Kyle.

MIGUEL: I’m Miguel Rivera. Back when my family thought music was a curse, I was sent to the Land of the Dead on Día de los Muertos, and figured out the truth as to why they had that thought. Held hard by my abuelita Elena.

ABUELITA ELENA: With my chancla to keep things in check.

MIGUEL: And my family of shoemakers. Mi papá…

ENRIQUE: Enrique.

MIGUEL: …mi mamá…

LUISA: Luisa.

MIGUEL: …Tío Berto…

BERTO: Buenos dias.

MIGUEL: …Tía Carmen…

CARMEN: Hola.

MIGUEL: …Tía Gloria…

GLORIA: Hey.

MIGUEL: …mi abuelito Franco.

FRANCO: Hola.

MIGUEL: …mis primos, Abel,…

ABEL: Hola, señorita.

MIGUEL: …Rosa,…

ROSA: Nice to meet you.

MIGUEL: …Benny, and Manny, and my little sister, Socorro, named after my great-grandmother, Mamá Coco.

RED: Hello. My name’s Red. I was an outcast as an adult for my anger issues, which stemmed from being bullied as a kid for my eyebrows. It took Bird Island’s eggs being stolen for me to step up as their leader. But now, we’ve called a truce between birds, pigs, and eagles, and we’re all heroes of all three islands.

CHUCK: I’m Chuck. I can move faster than the speed of sound.

BOMB: I’m Bomb. When I get upset, I’ve been known to blow up. Literally, hence the name. (IMITATES HISSING AND EXPLOSION)

LEONARD: I’m Leonard Mudbeard, the king of Piggy Island.

SILVER: I’m Chuck’s sister, Silver. While he moves fast, I think fast. I can think of every calculation at a moment’s notice.

GARRY: I’m Garry, the pigs’ master of gadgetry. Not all of my inventions are perfect…

RED: Like the Invisi-Spray? Or the Eagle Detector? “There’s an eagle nearby! There’s an eagle nearby!”

GARRY: I know they were flops, Red!

COURTNEY: I’m Courtney, Leonard’s right-hoof assistant.

MIGHTY EAGLE: Behold! Gaze upon… Mighty Eagle! I see all and know all.

MATILDA: I’m Matilda. I was the teacher of the Infinity Acceptance Group. And this is my husband, Terence.

(Terence grins down at Marinette.)

MARINETTE: Wow. You’re a lucky lady to have hit the jackpot with this guy.

THE BLUES: We’re the Blues.

JAY: I’m Jay.

JAKE: I’m Jake.

JIM: And I’m Jim.

ZETA: I’m Zeta, the leader of the eagles. I admit, I went crazy after Ethan left me at the altar, and tried to destroy the neighboring islands to make my own tropical paradise, since Eagle Island is basically a giant iceberg.

DEBBIE: I’m their daughter, Debbie.

GLENN: I’m Zeta’s head engineer, Glenn.

ROSS: I’m Ross. I used to be Leonard’s assistant.

(The mime bird performs around Marinette.)

RED: Yeah, he likes all of this.

STELLA: I’m Stella. I’m Bird Island’s main tour guide.

BUBBLES: I’m Bubbles. Need a lift?

(Bubbles inflates a bit.)

HAL: I’m Hal. I’m really good at doing the boomerang.

ZOE: I’m Matilda’s daughter, Zoe. These are my best friends.

VIVI: I’m Vivi.

SAM-SAM: And I’m Sam-Sam.

(Poppy leaps into Marinette’s hand.)

POPPY: Hi. I’m Poppy, the queen of Pop Village.

BRANCH: I’m Branch. I’m not like the other Pop Trolls. When I was a kid, I got my grandmother killed by singing and attracting a predator, and spent twenty years not wanting anything to do with fun.

BIGGIE: I’m Biggie. I’m a big softie, aren’t I, Mr. Dinkles?

MR. DINKLES: Mew.

COOPER: I’m Prince Cooper of Vibe City.

GUY DIAMOND: I’m Guy Diamond.

(Marinette shields her eyes.)

MARINETTE: Oh, you are naked!

GUY DIAMOND: Yeah, Glitter Trolls aren’t (AUTO-TUNED) fond of clothes.

TINY DIAMOND: Yo, what’s up? I’m his son, Tiny Diamond.

SMIDGE: I’m Smidge. I’m the smallest troll in Pop Village, but I’m also the toughest, and the strongest!

SATIN: I’m Satin.

CHENILLE: And I’m Chenille.

SATIN: We…

CHENILLE: Love…

SATIN AND CHENILLE: …fashion!

DJ: I’m DJ Suki. You can count on me to get a good party going.

BRIDGET: I’m Bridget. Queen of Bergen Town alongside my husband…

GRISTLE: King Gristle Jr.

VIVA: I’m Poppy’s sister, Viva.

PEPPY: I’m Poppy’s father, the retired king of Pop Village, Peppy.

JOHN DORY: We’re Branch’s brothers, Brozone. I’m John Dory.

CLAY: I’m Clay.

FLOYD: I’m Floyd.

SPRUCE: And I’m Spruce.

BARB: Hey. I’m Queen Barb of the Hard Rock Trolls.

PRINCE D: I’m Cooper’s brother, Prince Darnell.

KING QUINCY: I’m King Quincy.

QUEEN ESSENCE: And I’m Queen Essence.

HICKORY: Guten Tag. I am Hickory, a Yodeler Troll.

DICKORY: Und I am Dickory.

CREEK: I’m Creek. I always hate admitting this, but I regret selling out my friends to the Bergens.

RIFF: I’m Barb’s band drummer, Riff.

DELTA: I’m Delta Dawn, leader of the Country Trolls.

KING TROLLEX: I’m King Trollex of the Techno Trolls.

TROLLZART: I am Trollzart, conductor of the Classical Music Trolls.

ARCHER: I’m Archer Pastry. I left behind my gangster brother and his crew, the Party Crashers.

CLOUD GUY: Hey. How’s it going? I’m Cloud Guy. Up high?

(As Marinette goes to slap his hand with her finger, he pulls it back.)

CLOUD GUY: Whoop! Too slow!

VAL: I’m Val Thundershock, the Ambassador of the Rock Tribe.

DEMO: I’m Demo, the manager of Val’s band.

HOLLY: I’m Holly Darlin’, the Ambassador of the Country Tribe.

DANTE: I’m Dante Crescendo, the Ambassador of the Classical Tribe.

LOWNOTE JONES: I’m Lownote Jones, the Ambassador of the Funk Tribe.

SYNTH: I’m Synth, the Ambassador of the Techno Tribe.

LEGSLY: I’m Legsly. I can’t extend my hair, but I can extend my legs.

THRASH: (MUMBLING) So our differences ain’t really that extreme

BARB: Oh, that’s my dad, the retired king of the Rock Trolls, Thrash.

PENNYWHISTLE: I’m Trollzart’s favorite flute, Pennywhistle.

POPPY: And he’s Fuzzbert.

(Fuzzbert bows.)

FLINT: I’m Flint Lockwood. I’ve been an inventor since I was a kid. One of my first were my Spray-on Shoes. Unfortunately, they don’t come off.

SAM: I’m Sam Sparks. Chew and Swallow’s newscaster.

TIM: I’m Tim Lockwood. Flint’s father and owner of Tim’s Bait and Tackle.

EARL: I’m Earl Devereaux. Chew and Swallow’s local policeman. No one better think of startin’ trouble.

BRENT: I’m Brent McHale. I used to be Swallow Falls’ mascot for sardines called Baby Brent. Chicken Brent is my new moniker. Ba-gawk-oh!

MANNY: I am Manny. Part-time doctor, part-time comedian, part-time cameraman.

FLINT: This is my best friend and trusted colleague.

STEVE: Steve!

MARINETTE: A Thought Translator?

STEVE: Steve!

BARB: I’m Barb. I’m an orangutan with a human brain within my ape brain. Like a turducken.

DIPPER: I’m Dipper Pines. I spent the summer of 2012 discovering the mysteries of Gravity Falls, Oregon.

MABEL: And thanks to the heroics of me and my family, we saved the town! I’m his twin sister, Mabel Pines.

STAN: Hello. I’m Stanley Pines. Ex-conman and retired owner of the Mystery Shack. These days, I’m traveling the world with my brother.

FORD: Stanford Pines. I spent 30 years trapped in a portal between dimensions. I also wrote three journals that I threw down a bottomless pit.

SOOS: I’m Soos Ramirez, the Mystery Shack’s handy mechanic, and new Mr. Mystery.

WENDY: I’m Wendy Courderoy. I was the Mystery Shack’s clerk, but still undeniably a fun time.

McGUCKET: I’m Fiddleford McGucket. Old, I may be, but Ford and I go way back.

GRENDA: We’re Mabel’s best friends. I’m Grenda Grendinator.

CANDY: And I’m Candy Chiu.

ROBBIE: I’m Robbie Valentino. Lead guitarist of Robbie V and the Tombstones.

PACIFICA: I’m Pacifica Northwest. My family used to be rich, until my father gave it all away to that Bill guy.

GIDEON: I’m Gideon Gleeful. I had a steady reputation despite my not-so pleasant actions.

MELODY: I’m Soos’ girlfriend, Melody, the Mystery Shack’s new clerk.

HICCUP: I’m Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III. The first viking in 300 years to not kill a dragon, and the chief of New Berk after the unfortunate death of my father, Stoick the Vast.

ASTRID: I’m his wife, Astrid Haddock, the chieftess of New Berk. These are our kids.

ZEPHYR: I’m Zephyr.

NUFFINK: And I’m Nuffink.

FISHLEGS: I’m Fishlegs Ingerman. Name any dragon, I have their statistics.

SNOTLOUT: I’m Snotlout Jorgensen. I admit, I might be a bit much.

TUFFNUT: I’m Tuffnut Thorston.

RUFFNUT: And I’m Ruffnut Thorston.

TUFFNUT: My sister and I love getting into trouble.

VALKA: I’m Hiccup’s mother, Valka. I lived on my own for years.

GOBBER: I’m Gobber the Belch. I was Stoick’s right-hand man.

ERET: I’m Eret. I was part of Drago Bludvist’s dragon-capturing crew before I defected.

SULLEY: I’m James P. Sullivan. My friends call me Sulley. I’m the CEO of Monsters, Incorporated. It’s a company that used to be all about sneaking into human children’s rooms through their closet doors and scaring them into screaming to power our world.

MIKE: But recently, we’ve realized that human laughter is ten times more powerful than their screams. I’m Mike Wazowski, the best Jokester at the company.

SULLEY: This is Boo, a human girl we met during the power crisis.

CELIA: I’m Celia Mae, the company receptionist.

MIKE: I’m her Googly-Bear.

CELIA: Yes, he is.

(Celia dips Mike and smooches him. Her snakes keep kissing him.)

YETI: I’m the Adorable Snowman. Why do people call me the Abominable Snowman? Do I look abominable to you?

(He offers a tray of snow cones.)

YETI: Snow cone?

(Marinette eyes the yellow tops.)

MARINETTE: Uh…

YETI: Oh, no, don’t worry. It’s lemon.

MIKE: And these were our Oozma Kappa fraternity brothers back in Monsters University.

SQUISHY: I’m Scott Squibbles. My friends call me Squishy.

DON: I’m Don Carlton. Mature student. I spent 30 years in the textile industry, and then got downsized. I figured I could either throw myself a pity party, or go back to school and learn the computers.

TERRY: We’re Terry and Terri Perry. I’m Terry with a Y.

TERRI: And I’m Terri with an I. I’m a dance major.

TERRY: And I’m not.

ART: I’m Art. New age philosophy major.

TYLOR: I’m Tylor Tuskman. I graduated from Monsters University to work for Monsters, Inc. as a Scarer, only to end up working in the Monsters, Inc. Facilities Team, or “MIFT”, when I joined the company the day they transitioned from scream to laugh power.

VAL: I’m Val Little. I was Tylor’s one-time classmate from MU.

FRITZ: I’m Fritz, the leader of MIFT.

CUTTER: I’m Katherine Sterns. You can call me Cutter. I keep remnants of each MIFT member who died on the job.

DUNCAN: I’m Duncan, the assistant supervisor of MIFT.

GRU: I’m Felonious Gru. I used to a bad guy, and now I work as a secret agent for the Anti-Villain League.

DRU: I’m his twin brother, Dru Gru.

LUCY: I’m Agent Gru’s partner and wife, Lucy Wilde.

MARGO: We’re Gru’s adopted girls. I’m Margo.

EDITH: I’m Edith.

AGNES: I’m Agnes.

GRU: And our son, Gru Jr.

POPPY: I’m Poppy Prescott, student at Lycée Pas Bon to become a supervillain.

DR. NEFARIO: I’m Gru’s friend and scientist, Dr. Nefario.

KEVIN: Bello. (SPEAKING MINIONESE) …Kevin, (SPEAKING MINIONESE) …Stuart,…

STUART: Bello!

KEVIN: …(SPEAKING MINIONESE) …Bob.

BOB: Minions!

GRU: And there’s hundreds more where they came from.

DRACULA: I am…

MARINETTE: Count Dracula? The blood-sucking vampire?

DRACULA: So you’ve heard. I’m the retired owner of Hotel Transylvania. It used to be off-limits to humans and a place for monsters to get away from it all. And, no, I don’t drink human blood. It’s so fatty, and you never know where it’s been. I use a blood substitute. Either Near Blood or Blood Beaters. You can’t tell the difference.

JOHNNY: I’m Drac’s son-in-law, Jonathan Loughran, the new co-owner of the hotel.

MAVIS: Alongside me, Drac’s daughter, Mavis.

MARINETTE: And you’re Frankenstein’s monster? Fire bad?

FRANK: Yep. Not to mention, I’m quite the big eater.

MARINETTE: And you must be his bride.

EUNICE: Name’s Eunice.

WAYNE: I’m Wayne Werewolf, she’s my wife, Wanda.

WANDA: Our kids drive us nuts.

GRIFFIN: Hey, I’m Griffin.

MARINETTE: Ah!

GRIFFIN: Oh, sorry. I really need to start that throat clearing thing.

MARINETTE: The Invisible Man?

GRIFFIN: Uh-huh.

MURRAY: I’m Murray, and I bring the party anywhere!

DENNIS: I’m Papa Drac’s grandson, Dennis. I got my vampire fangs straight on my fifth birthday.

VLAD: I’m Drac’s father, Vlad.

ERICKA: And I’m Drac’s wife, Ericka.

VAN HELSING: I’m a retired monster hunter, and Ericka’s great-grandfather, Abraham Van Helsing.

MARINETTE: One of The Van Helsings?

VAN HELSING: Yes. I didn’t want to let the legacy die, and my searches lasted beyond my lifespan, so I replaced my failing organs with technology. I say, I am still quite a looker.

ERICKA: Um, sure.

CRYSTAL: I’m Griffin’s girlfriend, Crystal the Invisible Woman.

WINNIE: I’m Winnie Werewolf, the only obedient offspring to the Werewolves. Right, my Zing?

DENNIS: Yeesh.

DRACULA: And these are the Blobbies. He’s Blobby, that’s Blobby’s son, and this is their puppy.

MARINETTE: Well, I’m glad to call all of you my new friends.

LUNA-TK: We’re honored.

———————————————————————————-

Trivia

The restaurant where Marinette was going to meet the gang was originally T.G.I. Friday’s in the same shopping plaza, but I realized the amount of characters Marinette was going to meet weren’t going to fit in one area of the restaurant, so when thinking of a smaller restaurant, Panera Bread came to mind first, and I went with that. Miller’s Ale House also came to mind, but I ran into the same problem as Friday’s. California Pizza Kitchen also could have possibly worked, it’s just that that restaurant is one big room that’s also curved, so Panera it is.

[seriously-mike]

Extremely Stupid AI-Generated Shit

(that is still kinda funny, anyway)

Those little freaks are the result of the following prompt:

Glurb snorf thwip krazl vomp yurgle zibble frunx quorl plimf drax gnurk jibbit flox zark welp thrum skork plund frazzle mreep

Top image comes from Midjourney, the bottom two are probably DALL-E 3 (the last is certainly DALL-E 3, the middle I'm not sure but it does look like it). To make this even weirder (and funnier), Bing Image Creator considers "Glurb" an unacceptable word.

Okay. I did refer to oblong, roundish, organic shapes as "blorps" a couple of times, but this looks like someone posted his kid's drawings of weird critters on the internet a long time ago, the algorithms yoinked them unceremoniously along with the descriptions, and just like that red t-shirt that turned the entire load of your laundry pink that one time, weird kid drawings pounded into mathemagical fairy dust along with more typical fairy tale and fantasy illustrations resulted in the weird names assigned to... this.

This is merely a selection of pics generated from this prompt, but the overall concept tied to it are creepy round-bodied creatures for Midjourney, goofy cartoonish Monsters Inc. for DALL-E 3, and...

I just scrolled through the post and found results for various Stable Diffusion data models. And Stable Diffusion, ladies and gentlemen, consistently responds with goblins.

This Warhammer miniature-styled thug fell out of Stable Cascade, the weird semi-forgotten uncooperative child. For the result of a string of completely nonsensical words, he's surprisingly coherent, with a fairly regular number of fingers AND toes. Of course the details like his kneepads are still blorpy, but that's how Stable Diffusion rolls, even three years, four major versions and a shitton of fine-tuned custom models in.

And SDXL custom model called FenrisXL provides an entire fucking family of goblins. What is going on here, because my assumptions regarding Stable Diffusion and SDXL in particular just have been challenged.

First, the Kitten Effect is less pronounced than it was in the early versions of the algorithm, if it happens at all. I'll chalk it up to improvements in the XL algorithm. Second, they're cartoonish goblins, but the Same Face Syndrome usual for the XL algorithm (every fucking custom model I tried suffers from it, no ifs, no buts) is less pronounced here than it is in case of human characters. Third, how in the FUCK an entire family of goblins spewed forth from a prompt consisting of gibberish has almost perfect and repeated anatomy, not counting the orphaned hand on the goblin girl's shoulder and an extra toe on the guy second from left in the front row? And varied skin and hair colors?

I can only explain it with someone lucking out on the seed number, much like I lucked out on the entire Chinese Garden test last year.

Still, though. Goblins. Fairly solid in custom models, messier in the core SDXL 1.0 (below), without any meaningful words in the prompt.

Where the fuck are they coming from? This is some serious Horse K shit and I refuse to investigate it any further. Much less add other weird phrases like "Yakka foob mog!" or "Kov schmoz, ka-pop?" to it and test it on my build (or even Photobooth from Hell in particular). It's late and my brain is giving up.

[mariacallous]

A technology company that has been essential in keeping far-right and extremist websites online was acquired last year by a firm that operates an empire of shell companies across the United States, according to people familiar with the deal.

Epik.com has been for years the go-to domain registrar for websites that other companies refuse to do business with. Sites dedicated to white nationalism, QAnon conspiracy theories, and harassing transgender people were all welcomed by Epik. Now, it appears that Epik’s new owner may abandon the extremist fringe and shift its customer base toward companies seeking to operate in the shadows.

Rob Monster, a born-again Christian who founded Epik in 2009, had been key in keeping many of the most extreme websites online. He often went to great lengths to personally defend the sites and extolled the virtues of free speech. Epik was sold to new ownership last year after the company unraveled amid allegations of gross financial mismanagement.

An accounting firm hired by Epik to conduct a forensic investigation alleged that Monster had misappropriated more than $3.5 million, according to an internal preliminary report obtained by WIRED. More than $1.5 million was attributed to Monster personally withdrawing funds from the company. Nearly $2 million of Epik funds was used in Kingdom Ventures, Monsters’ venture capital firm, according to the report.

Monster didn’t respond to multiple requests for comment.

The buyer of Epik’s domain registrar business was a brand-new company that had been incorporated in Wyoming weeks before the sale was completed last summer: Epik LLC. The owner of Epik LLC, according to two people familiar with the deal, is Registered Agents Inc. The company confirmed its ownership in a press release late Friday night.

Registered Agents Inc. and its subsidiary companies claim to have offices in every state and Washington, DC. Its services allow companies to operate anonymously in a jurisdiction of its choosing. Registered Agents Inc. says it provides services to over 1 million companies.

The founder and owner of Registered Agents, according to two people familiar with the company, is a man named Dan Keen. In an email, a lawyer for Registered Agents Inc. says Keen is not the owner nor an employee of Registered Agents Inc. or Epik, and that he acted as a consultant in the acquisition.

Keen is intensely private, according to multiple people who have worked with him who requested anonymity to discuss details of the deal. “He has made it his mission in life to be invisible,” said one. “He’s someone who likes to operate in the shadows,” claims another. Keen is a serial entrepreneur who previously ran a lawn care and tree-trimming business, according to public records.

Keen has no website or social media pages. Emails sent by Keen don’t include a signature. Attempts to reach Keen for comment led to a reply from Bryce Myrvang, a lawyer for Registered Agents Inc.

Using a registered agent to incorporate a business allows the owner to shield who actually owns it. A registered agent will act as an official point of contact for a company, receiving legal notices and mail, and filing incorporation documents with the state. In Wyoming alone, Registered Agents Inc. represents around 50,000 companies, according to the Wyoming secretary of state.

For example, a company that uses Registered Agents Inc. to set up shop in Wyoming would have its address listed as 30 N. Gould Sreet, a squat one-story building in the town of Sheridan.

A local paper in Wyoming, The Sheridan Press, reported in August 2021 that scam business had been linked to the 30 N. Gould Street address, where more than 20 registered agent firms claim to have their offices. An editor's note added after publication stated, “It remains completely legal for registered agents to do what they’re doing under Wyoming Statute.”

A 2022 investigation by the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists found that “oligarchs, criminals and online scammers” have used registered agents to operate in the United States and shield their true identity.

Registered Agents Inc.’s acquisition of Epik allows the company to extend its offerings to the internet, providing its customers another layer of anonymity for their websites.

“This most recent acquisition provided an opportunity to expand our business offerings to include a business email address, a domain name, and open source website hosting at a reasonable cost,” Myrvang tells WIRED. “Registered Agents Inc. now has the capability to establish an entire business identity for its customers in less than 10 minutes.”

Clues about changes within Epik first emerged in January, when the company terminated its relationship with Kiwi Farms, a notorious trolling site whose users are dedicated to perpetuating never-ending drama and misery. In a series of bizarre and now deleted tweets, Epik claimed it suspended Kiwi Farms in response to a US court order and that the site hosted child sexual abuse material. In response, the Kiwi Farms administrator began crowdfunding money for a defamation lawsuit against Epik. “You specialize in defamation, revenge porn, harassment, and hate speech and you want to sue us? We will expose all your and your users dirty secrets and they will be permanent public records,” the EpikLLC X account replied. “The judgment we will win against you will follow you the rest of your life.”

It was as if a new set of trolls with an entirely different worldview had taken over Epik.

“Alright all Whiny, Beta Snowflakes. Our DEI hires of the month canceled #Kiwifarms,” another post from EpikLLC read. “We don't like hate speech, porn, or doxxing. #JoeBiden will fix it! 2024!”

Some of the tweets trolling Epik were later deleted. “If such comments and or interactions on X were found to be offensive, Epik LLC formally apologizes to those individuals and or company,” Myrvang, the company's lawyer, says. “Further, the appropriate action has been taken internally in relation to the comments made on X.” It’s unclear if Epik’s new owners singled out Kiwi Farms or if it has booted other sites from its service. “Epik.com’s Terms of Service has been updated to maintain compliance with all regulatory requirements,” Myrvang says. When asked if the company has stopped working with other customers, Myrvang says, “Epik LLC will suspend and or terminate relationships with any company and or individual who violates its Terms of Services.”

In late 2022, Epik customers began reporting that they were suddenly unable to withdraw money from Masterbucks, Epik’s payment platform, which facilitated buying and selling pricey domain names. One customer, Luigi Marruso, posted on the domain name forum NamePros claiming that Epik was holding onto $1.5 million of its money. In an email to WIRED, Marruso says he still hasn’t been paid back.

Another customer, Matthew Adkisson, sued Epik and Monster, claiming they had mismanaged or embezzled $327,000 from him as he sought to purchase nourish.com. Epik later settled with Adkisson.

Claims like Adkisson’s began to pile up on forums for professionals in the domain name business (known as “domainers”), and Epik was in serious financial jeopardy.

Epik’s customers, fearing the worst, rushed to get their money back from the company. Epik even had outstanding debts with ICANN, the nonprofit that serves as a global administrator for the internet, according to legal filings.

“They were using customer funds to fund its operations. People started asking for those customer funds back, and they couldn't pay them,” says Andrew Allemann, a journalist who covered the fiasco for Domain Name Wire. “There was a run on the bank, and the money wasn’t there.”

In September 2022, a new CEO was installed at Epik in an attempt to stem the bleeding and settle the company’s debts. Epik, once valued by an investor at around $150 million was sold for around $5 million dollars in June 2023, according to a purchase agreement released as an exhibit in the Adkisson lawsuit. Much of the $5 million purchase price was allocated to paying off some of Epik’s debts. It’s unclear if the terms of the final deal match the one released as part of the lawsuit, but a source familiar with the acquisition says it was generally similar.

The rest of the debt was left with Monster. Just how much Monster owes former customers and vendors is unknown. Two former Epik customers told WIRED they’re still waiting to be paid back $38,000 and $20,000, respectively.