meli-writes

[meli-writes]

waiting for my train after an aquarium date and chatting with one of the seal keepers who's there after work, telling me how the two half-brother seals are always kissing each other behind his back. yaoi seals at the yuri aquarium.

[meli-writes]

I am the Princess in the Tower.

You know, people hear that, and they say, "Oh, that poor Princess, she must be so lonesome up there. Some cruel fate must have befallen her, to be trapped so."

It's true, to a certain extent. I am lonesome. There's no shortage of princes and princesses - I have to wonder where they all come from - who come to try to rescue me from my captivity. None of them ever get particularly close, of course. The Tower is surrounded by a dark and tangled wood, monsters of flesh and stone stalk the grounds, invisible barriers and devious traps block all entry, and even if they got to the base of the Tower, they'd have to figure out how to climb up a sheer, frictionless vertical surface while automatically triggered fireballs rained down upon them... it's pretty well defended, is what I'm trying to say. Every single one of them gets sent packing, cursing the wizard who built the Tower and imprisoned me.

Which is, you know, pretty funny, when you get right down to it.

I mean, it's only natural to assume that, right? Wizards are mysterious, they pop in and out all the time. If one decides to suddenly vanish one day, well, he's probably just off calculating the angles of reality, or whatever, he'll be back. And if a girl appears in his Tower, well, of course he kidnapped a Princess for his own unfathomable wizard purposes.

It hardly matters that there aren't any kingdoms missing a Princess.

I don't correct them, anyway. It's safer for me if nobody knows who I am, or how I've changed. Safety was, after all, why I built the Tower in the first place. You think wizards do this for fun? Out in the middle of nowhere, forced to conjure food and water? Having to walk up and down twenty flights of stairs if I feel like going outside?

Wizards build towers when they are scared shitless.

See, I cast this divination spell when I was an apprentice, and I fucked it up. It constantly shows me visions of my own doom...

Not buying it?

Well, there was this devil, see, and I tricked him into thinking I'd signed my soul away, so now he stalks me forever, seeking vengeance through the very shadows themselves...

No good?

Well, I was cursed as a wee babe, and now all the world is my enemy, from the mightiest warrior to the softest blade of grass, and each one thirsts for my blood!

...I would have died to that one, like, immediately, huh.

Okay. Fine. I'm just... a coward. I built my Tower as far away from everything and everyone that could possibly do me harm as I could. I studied magic because it felt like the best way to avoid any and all hard work, conflict, and danger. I held off on telling anyone anything about who I truly was or what I wanted until I felt I could be absolutely safe.

And still, with "rescuers" at my door just waiting for my hand, I can't bear to look at them. The idea of one even getting close enough to attempt to climb the Tower (it's happened more than once) is terrifying. I could ask them to stop, but who would believe me? "Yes, I, the Princess in the Tower, am totes fine, please go away forever thanks, I am not an evil wizard." That'd go over well.

There's another princess that just made her way through the Woods and slayed one of my constructs. She'll be at the Tower base soon. She's got really pretty hair

I wish

I hope that you

Please don't

I'm writing this down here, and then I'm gonna go hide. If you're reading this,

The blue-armored princess flipped the paper over to the other side. It was blank. Her hair smoldered from the fireball she'd almost dodged, and she drummed her fingers on the hilt of her blade as she reread the first side. Aside from the paper, the room - and, indeed, the entire interior of the Tower - seemed completely empty.

[meli-writes]

"that's it. drink up, doll."

lounging at signore's knees. the silk dress is slipping off my shoulder, like it's supposed to. she plies drinks and business deals, i presume; senses dulled in milky, translucent contacts and isolating earbuds.

only her voice comes through. her side. i recognise what used to be mine, pick out the silhouettes of who used to be mine. i have to imagine what they see in return, her hand running through my hair.

and she pulls. tips me back and pours the whisky into my mouth, spits it if she wants to take it slow. pushes me forward and i hear the words, "that's it. drink up, doll."

soothes me as i choke and sputter, "you'll learn to like it." i can see the smile on her lips behind me, know how it'll feel, as each dram weathers the carven gargoyle snarl on mine. acid to soften stone,

"if not, you'll learn to like what comes after."

[meli-writes]

[meli-writes]

Robotgirl who you have to lockout-tagout to repair and she gives you this beautiful mournful expression and makes you promise to fix her up perfectly before you disconnect her power cell and you promise. But when you open her up you realize so many of her parts need to be replaced and half of them aren't made anymore and so you're jury-rigging parts from other models and buying used stuff off the Internet and every little bodge you do you look up at her face still fixed on that expression hear her voice in the back of your head and you cry because you're not sure your capable of keeping your promise.

When you finally power her back up half of her parts have been replaced, some perfectly good but swapped just to make the spares you could get work. She's barely the same person anymore but she powers back on and her face goes quizzical as she runs a (very long, very terrifying) self-diagnostic and at the end she chirps happily and tells you thank you, you did such a good job, she couldn't have done better herself, she knows it was hard but you did so well! And your world lights up and you melt back into her arms and all the stress of the past weeks goes away because you didn't let her down after all!

[meli-writes]

becoming the evil advisor to the princess and whispering devious plots in her ear, till she's filled her vaults with the stolen wealth of the kingdom and sent all those pious, honourable friends of hers to far-off lands to die. till it's all ready for me to steal out from under her, though perhaps if i plot a moment longer, so that my lips might touch upon more than her mind and--

oh. oh. it appears i've corrupted her so thoroughly she's had me locked in the dungeons and plans to reward me for showing her the true power of evil by keeping me leashed to the throne as a concubine. aaand it seems she's whispering in my ear about how-- yes, just how much more comfy it is down here anyway. and y'know mistress makes such a good point, she's always known what's best.

[meli-writes]

important reminder: the destined hero you've captured and feminised into a whorish yet still alluringly repressed and innocent dungeon pet *needs* proper noble enrichment. we personally recommend seizing the princess she failed to protect, and would stare upon from afar never understanding the longing in her heart, and leashing both their collars together till the tentative trauma bond they form develops into rabid bunny fucking, preferably on a soft pile of furs next to your throne for you to gaze upon.

[meli-writes]

technovember [002]

prompt list // fic index

The name of the gun is Sacrilege; like all good, honest weapons, it carries the name of an action. It is long, and slow, and patient, resembling a snake in all qualities except the straightness of its spine. If Rhea doesn’t kill her angel today, it will be her fault, not the gun's. 

The target flickers below, moving from window to window of a skullfucked building like trash caught by the wind, like a long-exposure photograph of a moth, like a sky burial in plastic wrap. It everts its vector of a face into each shard-lined aperture in turn, methodically tasting the air within for ideocarrion, sonar pops and clicks bubbling resonant from stolen vocal chords. Rhea, curled in the hollow of the tallest ruin she felt she could risk, licks salt from her lips. Soon the angel will grow bored and flit away, or scent something enticing and pour itself through the nearest concrete orifice halo-first, and the moment will pass, and Rhea will not have killed it, and she’s doing alright on food but she only has filters for two more two nights, and if she goes back-empty handed Eldest Sister is going to kill her for expropriating her gun. 

Sacrilege whispers through the small bones in her fingers, voice punching barrel-dark beneath the thrumming whine of angel telemetry. SIT STILL, it says, BE SLOW. BE COLD. DEEP BREATHS. I AM WITH YOU. 

Rhea draws her tongue over her lips again, tastes iron in the cracks. Slow, she thinks. Cold. Deep breaths.

You are with me. 

Sacrilege kisses the deep tissue of her shoulder with its recoil. A bullet casing hits her in the forehead. The angel dies silently, and unfolds, and unfolds, and unfolds.

[meli-writes]

so like, fantasises that go "i've captured my rival and turned her into a submissive little pet" are super common. but what about "i've captured my rival and turned her into my dominant little pet."

keep her leashed and muzzled and let her out to ravish you, work out her resentment for being defeated, her anger at being imprisoned, and after caging her back up and hiding her till you're composed enough to display her as a trophy. because you're terrified what all the people you rule over, command, will think if they found out how desperate you are to be conquered yourself. better not to forget to gag her, she's still got a vicious tongue.

need to find the people writing those stories.

[meli-writes]

the most common fantasy i have is like:

princess is turned into a puppet & scapegoat for the crimes of the rulers that exploit & abuse her, but the rebels that take this empire down, that she wants to succeed but worries will hate her, easily see through this scapegoating and take care of her when they take this empire down.

and this is like so patently obvious to me as like:

white trans girl is believed about her traumatic experiences, is accepted by her queer community without question and not blamed as the cause of patriarchy, esp that she isn't tainted by it and evil because of that, and has a privilege that is recognised as moderating her experiences but that she gets to redress and that doesn't erase her trauma.

which is like... utter wish fulfilment, just take both the anxieties and issues i deal with and like provide them with clear answers, while also saying 'everyone else will understand what you're going/have gone through, and accept you including the flaws you have'.

CW for discussion of SA & kink, below this 'keep reading'.

often she's being assaulted as she's rescued, among dozens of different variations that emphasise other worries, and this is very much using a traumatic experience as not just an explanation for a fantasy, but a defensive justification. and i don't know how to articulate that specific catharsis.

how do you tell people 'i imagine being assaulted (by cis men) for the feeling of being rescued from it and taken care of after, and not the assault'? and have that exist alongside, and intersect, with much of what's been mentioned above, such as a 'doll chip' concept that compels its implanted victim to be submissive, to which she finds a trusted partner to help her through the moments its active.

finding someone she trusts to replicate the hurt done to her, in a way that feels good. because she has to.

do i articulate that as a rapekink? or maybe as a post-rape kink? because the honest answer right now is, i don't know, and i'm just going to keep writing about how i feel and see if i figure it out.

p.s also in an example of other stuff mentioned above, *100%* a lot of the fantasies i used to have, and remains a common theme, is being so desirable that i'm taken as a concubine or that they can't help themselves. often moderated with in-narrative aftercare, but at its core addressing that anxiety of 'will transition make me pretty (loaded term, not unpacking here) in a valuable way'.

Do you guys remember how kidnap fantasies were popular on wattpad because young girls and queer teens were both made to feel shame at the thought of their own sexualities, so the fantasy of being kidnapped totally against their will was a way for them to engage with a romantic or sexual fantasy without feeling morally in the wrong for doing so? Added bonus that the fantasy involved being whisked away from repressive environments like home or school, right?

Finding out that Bram Stoker was in a sexless marriage and that scholars believe that he very likely was closeted gay puts the entire book into perspective as to WHY it reads EXACTLY like a self insert wattpad Dracula kidnap fic:

“I TOTALLY love my wife and would never do anything that an upstanding Good Straight Working Man wouldn’t do but oh nooo, big strong man with broad back and strong enough arms to carry me back to bed like a princess trapped me and claimed me as his, completely against my will 👉👈 But he protects me against the bad evil sexual women (who I assure you, I am TOTALLY sexually attracted to, as any straight man with a choice would be) but trust me, I do NOT want ANY of this. What’s that? The Count is not capable of feeling love? Would be a shame if I had the special ability to change tha-”

[meli-writes]

the cursed derivative of this however is that I'm at least 40% sure there's a trans girl out there offering hoi4 tutorials on her onlyfans where the vibe up her ass is synced to the world tension percentage. if that's not real then like this is a untapped niche, one that both types of hoi4 players will love (the trans girls and the na--)

watching porn where this girl spends the first 3 minutes excitedly explaining how the myth of 'follow me' prostitute shoes (that leaves the word in the dirt as they walk) from ancient Greece came into existence, the actual pictoral stamps that were real (and that she's carved into her own sandals), and the etymology of the word pornography per the professor she learned this from.

like I'm being laser targeted with this omg.

[meli-writes]

watching porn where this girl spends the first 3 minutes excitedly explaining how the myth of 'follow me' prostitute shoes (that leaves the word in the dirt as they walk) from ancient Greece came into existence, the actual pictoral stamps that were real (and that she's carved into her own sandals), and the etymology of the word pornography per the professor she learned this from.

like I'm being laser targeted with this omg.

[meli-writes]

it's hot and she gets eggs laid in her and i forget which snake dick it comes out of because there's two. you should read it if you're a freak. or if you're not a freak but think it's sounds fun to become one.

naga with aphrodisiac venom

[meli-writes]

the storming of an abandoned palace, hundreds pouring into the black, pyramidal morass that looms over the planetary capital. the shadow of a broken dynasty, casting the shape of this world's tyrant princess. slipping in through the cable-suspended pulpit from which she spat upon the people with acid and profiteering law. she could have fled, but the heat signature does not lie -- she remains.

through the door, in her own quarters. it's not where it should be, on plans stolen before her unplanned ascension. her guards have left, the security footage shows them not fleeing, but marching to unseen commands. and here, down a deep corridor, far from light and dust-choked ballrooms, digital eyes staring at your backs as you find it, as you look at it. the door.

it locks from the outside.

[meli-writes]

👠: "perchance a moment to talk, before you kill me?" 🗡️ ... 👠: "it's what you're here for, no? i never told anyone except him about this preference of mine for women -- to which i commend your excellent predation upon. made my evening." 🗡️: "don't know him. that's professional courtesy, not--" 👠: "denial of your purpose here? well it's my cousin you see, wouldn't marry him, like owning myself. tell me, are you paid before or after?" 🗡️: "hrrrrm... after. couldn't pass up the generosity though." 👠: "ahh, i suppose he could be when he inherits from me." 🗡️: "and is there a point to this?" 👠: "i wanted you to know." 🗡️: "because i'll spare you?" 👠: "no. you'd not be in this profession if i could..." "...but i do wonder if you'd be open to a counter-offer."

[meli-writes]

'we will not wait around for someone else to build the future for us'

hey so yesterday my union launched our manifesto and voted to reveal our membership numbers (1500+ and across the entire uk games industry)!

i just do discord admin (make it bearable to use lol) and data entry, but everyone else has put in incredible work making this. seeing this union build up strength over the last 5 years has been awesome, and i'm excited for how the next 5 are gonna go.

some extracts if you don't wanna click on the link:

The manifesto, which can be viewed here, outlines the IWGB Game Workers' mission, core values, and planned campaigns. Its five core values are stated as democracy, solidarity and care, taking action, education, and equality and justice. And its campaigns are listed as follows:

- Union recognition: Have all members recognized by their employers - Working hours and overtime: End reliance on overtime and crunch culture, obtain either a 4-day work week or 6-hour workdays without salary reductions, end "presenteeism", and guaranteed mental health days - Compensation: Mandate annual pay increases, improve baseline pay, obtain studio profit sharing, end the gender pay gap, equal parental leave, residuals or royalties, and improved pension - Accountability and transparency: Holding C-suite executives accountable for mergers, acquisitions, and redundancies, salary transparency, open book accounting, and publicly available diversity and representation statistics - Job security: Better protections against firing and redundancy, better communication in the event of redundancy, better redundancy pay packages, AI regulations, one-month minimum notice periods, end abuse of fixed-term contracts, and forcing entry-level jobs to have entry-level job requirements. - Equity and inclusion: Accessible working options, improved support for disability, neurodiversity, LGBTQ+, and mental health, enforcement of policies for handling misconduct, guidelines for inclusive language, removing barriers for workers coming from lower income brackets, more inclusive hiring process, compulsory DEI best practice training - Training and education: Improved professional development support, and mandatory sexual misconduct and antitrust training for C-suite and management - Contractual terms: Removing unreasonable non-compete and non-disparagement clauses, guaranteed ownership of personal side projects, guaranteed credits

the complete manifesto has gotten even more going on tho, with our mission and core values. so if you're a game worker, or you wanna know what the people who make the games you love need, then check it out <3

im not gonna make like direct refs to what i do IRL that often but like ye, this is my union and where i put my political energy ✨

[meli-writes]

princesses are recreational objects