#money habits for 2021

[techandtravel]

Bad Money Habits That Are Holding You Back

Bad Money Habits That Are Holding You Back – And How to Fix Them Introduction Managing your money well is essential for a secure financial future. Unfortunately, there are some common bad money habits that can hinder your progress. In this article, we’ll identify these habits and provide simple strategies to overcome them. By addressing these habits and adopting better practices, you can take…

[wttcsms]

angels like you can't fly down here with me (i'm everything they say i would be), megumi fushiguro ;

pairing megumi fushiguro x f!reader word count 11k  synopsis people like him don't get happy endings but megumi fushiguro (foolishly) considers himself to be the exception — after all, he has you. content contains yakuza au, childhood friends to lovers, mutual pining, breeding kink, slight daddy kink, attempted sa, minor violence & depictions of blood author's note if ur on my ao3, you know this is from 2021!!! my writing has changed up since then, but i'm going to be releasing a revised version of this which will be rewritten and feature more scenes, more worldbuilding, more plot, relationship and character development, etc!! i figured releasing this on tumblr would help me gauge how worthwhile revision of this fic will be, so lmk if u like this au & want to see it become even better <3

Don’t do it.

He repeats the command inside his head again, and then one more time for good measure. (And then another time, just to drive the point across.)

He won’t — can’t; isn’t really allowed to — get into (another!) fight.

(Well, there’s a part of Megumi that knows that despite Gojo’s sing-songy warning of “now, now, Megumi, I don’t need a frequent visitor’s card for the principal’s office”, he doesn’t actually care. All he’s really concerned about — if the mild interest the reckless teenager turned legal guardian shows can even be called that — is whether or not Megumi wins.

And he does.

Every. Single. Time.)

For the most part, Megumi Fushiguro is fairly stoic in general, but to a concerning degree when one accounts for the fact that he’s only ten years old. For the odd three or so years he’s been under Gojo’s wing, Megumi’s mask of disinterest stopped becoming a mask and started becoming a part of him.

(Try as he might, Gojo’s not nearly as funny as he thinks he is. Maybe the connection between them might have been stronger if Gojo was a bit more responsible and if he was actually present, but he’s got his own shit to deal with. Besides, Gojo’s under the impression that what he’s doing isn’t cruel, but rather a means to an end. Megumi’s never going to be able to get stronger if he doesn’t learn how to survive on his own.

After all, being alone and having to fight to survive is the life people like them live.)

The older preteens in the area have a bad habit of picking on the younger students. Because the elementary and middle schools are so close together, the younger students who have the misfortune of walking alone tend to be targets for bullies in need of pocket change or a good laugh. Most of the time, they get both.

As of late, everyone’s favorite target happens to be Megumi Fushiguro, the boy with the messy black hair and indifferent attitude, even when confronted by boys two years his senior and almost a whole entire head taller than him.

Last week, Megumi gave the three older boys dumb enough to harass him for money bloody noses, bruised egos, and a thirst for revenge. That was the first (and supposed to be the last) time he got into a fight (for this school year, at least — something Gojo had told him, while winking). So, even when the trio is back together again, taunting him and trying to get him to take the first swing, Megumi keeps walking forward with his perpetual look of disinterest, those cold blue eyes of his staring straight at the path ahead of him, never paying any mind to the gangly bodies of the middle school boys who keep trying to block him from moving.

Don’t do it.

He tells himself this once more. You don’t want to have to inconvenience Gojo. Then, you’ll be stuck listening to him pretend to lecture you. You don’t like spending too much time with Gojo. He’ll make weird jokes. 

The thought of having to deal with Gojo’s presence is enough to get Megumi to unclench his fists.

“Move.”

It’s the first thing he says to the group since they started following him after school. He tells the boy with the brown hair this. The brunet seems to be their ringleader of sorts, and even as nothing more than a ten year old child, Megumi knows that being twelve/thirteen and harassing little kids for sport is a sign of patheticness that will only grow and fester into something darker unless someone beats some sense into them. Obviously, they didn’t learn their lesson from last week.

“Huh? What the hell did ya just say, ya little brat?” The brown haired boy sneers, looking down at Megumi.

School has just let out, so there are dozens of kids of all ages walking down the sidewalk. They’re all aware of the situation happening, but everyone chooses to turn a blind eye to it. Partly because this is such a common occurrence that it just starts to become something that blends into the scenery, but also because there are some rumors surrounding the Fushiguro kid that’s enough to make anyone with a heart of gold reluctant to come to his rescue.

The main rumor circulating around the school is that Megumi Fushiguro has ties to the yakuza. Granted, most kids his age have no idea what the yakuza is, and even those who somewhat know only know through exaggerated definitions from their older siblings. Generally, everyone just accepts the fact that the yakuza is bad, and by default, Megumi Fushiguro must be bad too. Older siblings tell their younger siblings to avoid “that boy” at all costs, unless they want to end up with a finger cut off. Megumi’s classmates huddle together and conveniently choose to look everywhere else but at him when on the playground.

For anyone else, this might have been enough to cause some hurt feelings. Everyone thinks the boy must be some type of stupid to be so oblivious to the rumors centered around him, but the truth is this: Megumi is well aware of what people whisper about behind his back; he just doesn’t care enough to prove them wrong.

And they’re not wrong, anyway.

(For some parts of the rumors, at least.)

Because it’s true — Megumi does have ties to the yakuza. His father, who he can’t seem to attach neither a name nor a face to, must have done something bad. Something bad enough to have him cross paths with Satoru Gojo, the young head of the Gojo Clan, one of Tokyo’s most prominent crime families. It’s the same Gojo who decided to adopt both Megumi and his stepsister, Tsumiki, despite having nothing (so far) to gain from it. After all, why would a teenager willingly assign himself the responsibilities of caring for small children — one who resembles the man that tried to kill him and the other being an ill little girl confined to a hospital bed for who knows how long. All Gojo gets from this deal is a headache, bills, and more problems than necessary.

Megumi’s not really sure how the rumors started in the first place. He thinks it’s because kids his age are easily influenced and have a tendency to run wild with their imaginations. With the rising popularity of gangs from the high school students, this interest seems to have trickled all the way down to the elementary levels. Megumi certainly fits the description of their idea of someone from the yakuza: silent, secretive, scary.

(If they were a little bit older, maybe they would have just seen him as an introvert.)

No matter how ridiculous the rumors get, though, it doesn’t change the fact that the root of them is true: he is connected to the yakuza. After all, he’s being primed and prepped to be someone of value in the clan. Once you’re tied with the likes of them, you might as well just resign to the knot fate’s trapped you with. He’s learned quickly that the only thing harder than getting into the yakuza is getting out.

And because his sister’s and his life both depend on him doing as he’s told, getting out is a funny pipe dream at best and the Fushiguro siblings’ cause of death at worst.

“I told you to move. You’re blocking my way.” Megumi’s tone of voice betrays nothing. Annoyance, maybe, but he speaks flatly regardless of how he’s truly feeling. Gojo says it’s kinda creepy. Gojo also says that being a little creepy isn’t bad.

(Gojo should know; he’s a certified creep in Megumi’s eyes.)

“Oh — so the little boy can speak up.” The boy with blond hair laughs. It’s a nasally sound that grates Megumi’s ears.

He’s not an idiot. Megumi is well aware of the fact that no matter how much he feels like it isn’t true, he’s still just a little ten year old boy. He should be playing with the toy cars Gojo bought him, not worrying about the gritty future that lies ahead. But still, the phrase rubs him the wrong way.

Little boy.

He wasn’t so little when he kicked them down to his height before properly bashing their faces, now was he? Even now, he can feel the anger coming up. He clenches his fists, wondering if he’ll get suspended for fighting right next to school property.

“Leave him alone.”

Another voice appears, but not from any of the boys. No — this time, it’s coming from a little girl on the sidewalk across from theirs. Everyone involved turns to stare at the source of such a command and are greeted with the sight of you with a Hello Kitty backpack. You’ve got a frown on your face that doesn’t match the brightness of your pink outfit.

Megumi recognizes you instantly. You’re in the same class as him. You were in the same class as him last year, too. He tilts his head, trying to figure out what exactly it is you’re trying to accomplish here — and why.

He knows his social standing in the school. If he’s at the bottom, you’re right at the top. A beaming pillar of light, everyone flocks to you like moths after a flame. But you’re alone today, not surrounded by the usual crowd of boys and girls who are often vying for your attention. Seeing you alone enables him to see you more clearly, without all the distractions getting in his way.

You’re small. Shorter than him, and way shorter than the middle school boys. You’ve got a bow in your hair and brand new shoes on your feet. If anybody should be socially aware, it has to be you. Those at the top, Megumi knows, like to remind everyone of their placement. You shouldn’t be here. You should be ignoring him like he’s got the plague, just like everyone else.

All three of the boys start to laugh after sizing you up. The laughter only serves to make you even more irritated, but you can’t speak because one of them is already talking through his laughs.

“Don’t tell me. Is this your girlfriend?”

The group erupts into more laughter, and while Megumi’s expression remains the same as it’s been for the past few minutes, yours only shows your growing contempt.

“She’s no one.” Megumi throws you an odd look, one of neither annoyance nor gratitude for trying to help him out. He uses your presence as a distraction, and he manages to take a few more steps before one of the boys is yanking him back by his bookbag.

“Grab her.” One of the boys says, and the third boy, the one with the messy red hair, starts to cross the street.

Megumi watches as you stay right where you are. Are you stupid? Why won’t you run? The boy still has a solid grip on his bookbag, keeping him in place. He wonders if it’ll be a waste of his breath if he tells you to start running — you probably wouldn’t listen to him anyway.

But then Megumi figures out why you don’t look too frightened, because not even a second before the older boy manages to cross the street to your side of the sidewalk, a man in a suit is running towards you, a scowl on his face.

“You said you were going to the restroom, young lady!” The man scolds you while panting for breath. He surveys the scene, looking at you, and then the middle school boy by your side before turning his head and seeing Megumi in between the other two boys. “What’s going on? Is everything alright? Did they do anything to you?”

“No, Mr. Higashi. B-but—“ Your bottom lip starts to tremble, and even though Higashi is certain that the tears about to fall are fake, the situation itself looks serious enough to the point where he doesn’t call you out on it. “Th-these boys are being really mean.” You let out a high pitched wail that makes the boy let go of Megumi’s bookbag. “They just threatened to attack me and my friend out of nowhere.”

“Your father will be informed.” Higashi frowns, eyeing the guilty boys who look confused and a little shocked at this turn of events. “Mr. [Surname] certainly won’t be pleased to hear about this.”

The middle school boys pale when they hear the man name drop your family’s surname.

After all, it’s the same last name that’s engraved on plaques all over the school, thanking your family for the many donations they’ve received.

You enter into Megumi’s life that way: unexpectedly. He never thanked you for intervening, but it’s not like you did it for the thanks anyway. You did it, you tell him, because you figured he needed some help.

“I had it handled.” He tells you flatly. “Why are you even sitting here? Your friends keep staring at us.”

It’s true. Stories of what happened are already circulating around both schools, and while all your friends spent the whole entire day pestering you for the full story, you chose to keep quiet about the situation. And now, here you are, choosing to sit and eat lunch with Megumi, someone who also knows the true story of what went down but the only one people aren't brave enough to ask.

Your whole entire table of friends keep their heads huddled together as they go back and forth with each other, every one of them sparing glances at Megumi’s table. It makes the rice in his mouth taste stale. He should have just stayed in the classroom to eat, especially if he knew you would be bothering him.

“Gee, is that any way to treat a friend?” You huff, not at all actually annoyed with him.

“We’re not friends.”

“Too late. I told my dad we were.”

There has been one question on his mind ever since that incident. Just who exactly is your father? He’s not stupid; he knows that you must come from a wealthy family. If the buildings and auditorium named after your family isn’t enough proof, the fact that you always have the latest toys, the nicest shoes, the cutest stationery sets — that’s material proof of a spoiled princess.

You continue speaking, and as if you can read his mind, you’re already answering his question. “My daddy’s called a CEO. But the man you saw is Mr. Higashi. He takes care of me when dad’s away at work, and everything I do gets typed up in a report that dad sees every day. He wasn’t happy about what happened, so he says the boys will get in trouble. He told us not to worry, though.” You have a pleased smile on your face, waiting for Megumi to say something in reply.

“Okay.” He says, after a while. He only spoke because it seemed like you were waiting for him to. “It doesn’t mean we’re friends.”

“What’s so wrong about being friends with me?” You tilt your head. Everyone wants to be friends with you. And that’s before they even figure out that you live in a real life mansion with actual servants, and that sometimes you’re allowed to eat dessert for dinner. Even without the wealth, you still draw people in, whether it be with your bright smile or cheery attitude.

“Don’t you already have enough friends?” He can’t figure out what you could possibly want with him. Even though Gojo’s got the backing of the clan and enough funds to run the Tokyo underground with cash to spare, it’s not like Megumi is in a position to take advantage of it. Gojo hands him a thick wad of cash every week with a tip to “spend wisely, hehehehe”, and Megumi takes the tip to heart. A majority of the money sits saved in his bedroom, underneath a floorboard he spent a week trying to figure out how to loosen without anyone catching on. (Which was actually easy whenever he realized that nobody seems to really watch him to begin with.) So, he doesn’t look like he has money, and isn’t that what all rich kids want? To surround themselves with equally rich kids?

“I guess.” Your bubbly mood seems to dampen a bit at the mention of the other kids. They like you, sure. But they like each other a lot more. The gap between you and the other kids isn’t noticeable at first, but the novelty of having an endless supply of company has lost its luster. Meanwhile, the glamor of your life only keeps the hoards of “friends” to grow as the days go by. It’s always “let’s have a sleepover at [Names]’s!” or “[Name], we have to go to your house because you have the best toys!”. You wonder if they like you, or the shiny things that they get when they’re with you. “But, it’s not like youhave any friends.”

“I don’t need any.” The response is quick — instinctual. Gojo, even if not the greatest guardian by any parental standards, still presses Megumi to have a proper (or, as proper as it can be) childhood.

(“You know, I don’t care if you bring any friends over. Just make sure no one ends up accidentally getting shot, okay, Megumi?”

Yeah, because that’s definitely gonna push him towards throwing as many parties as he wants.)

People in his position don’t have many friends. It’s hard to, he assumes, because of all the killings and betrayals and power plays.

(And, he’ll soon learn that it hurts a lot less to lose an enemy than it does a friend.)

“Hmm. Okay.”

But you don’t get up from your seat, and he doesn’t tell you to move.

The next day, you’re carrying two bento boxes. The lunches are prepared for you by world class chefs and everything is done in a rather cutesy manner to entice you into not wasting your food. The fruit is cut into pretty shapes, the food has picks with animals on them, and everything is colorful and to your own personal tastes.

You take a seat next to him once again. He looks up for a second, sees that it’s you, and returns back to his meal that looks pitiful in comparison. Leftover rice and some cold meat. You think it’s the same thing he had last time.

“For you.” You slide the second bento you had requested towards him before opening up your own.

“What’s this for?”

“For you to eat, silly.”

“...How much?”

“Huh? All of it, I guess? If you don’t like something, tell me, and I’ll request something different tomorrow.” You don’t quite understand what he’s asking you.

“No. How much does it cost? I'll bring you the money tomorrow.”

“Why would it cost you?” Now you’re really confused.

Didn’t anyone ever teach you that everything comes attached with a price? If it’s not money you want, it must be something else. At least, if Megumi’s judgments are right. (And they usually are.)

“Fushiguro, I brought you this because I want you to eat well and grow strong.”

He wonders what rice shaped like Hello Kitty has to do with his strength.

“Also, so the next time people give you or me trouble, you can fight them, okay?”

Oh. So it’s protection you want. He contemplates what he thinks your request is before popping a piece of food into his mouth. A meal made with care — he can taste the thought that’s been put into it. Shoving his old lunch to the side, he quickly starts eating at the one you brought him.

Okay. So maybe he does accept your offer.

“Meguuuumi.” You whine out his name, messing up the navy sheets of his bed while he sits at his desk, trying to finish his application for university. “I’m bored.”

“Good. Go to your own house then, and leave me alone.”

“You’re so mean to me.” You sigh, turning your head so that half of your face is pressed against his pillow. The scent of his shampoo still sticks to the fabric, and you subconsciously inhale the scent some more. It’s familiar and reminds you of him, your favorite person in the world.

No one believes you when you tell them that Megumi is your best friend. No one wants to believe that it’s true. After all, the two of you look more like a shoujo manga trope than an actual pair of best friends. The cold, inexpressive dark haired male lead with a secretive past he doesn’t want anyone to know about and the bright, bubbly, ball of energy that is constantly clinging to his side. It’s like looking at night and day with you two.

“And yet, you’re still always here.”

You’re still by his side, even when the two of you reached middle school and high school together, and he spent a majority of his time starting (and finishing) fights.

(“Get off of him!” You screamed, yanking on the collar of one of the boys who happened to be trying to grab Megumi from behind. You don’t have the same amount of strength as them, but everyone at this point knows who you are and who exactly your father is. No matter what the origin of the fight is won’t matter; all that matters is that the precious daughter of one of Tokyo’s richest CEOs got caught in it, and that’s enough to get everyone involved into some deep shit.

Immediately, the boy scampers off, and the other boy Megumi was punching into the squeaky clean floors of the hallway begins to thrash around wildly, eyes wide at the sudden sight of you. Seeing you coming from behind Megumi is like watching the sun peek through a dozen storm clouds.

Megumi gives him one last punch, not nearly as satisfied as he thought he would be. Honestly, getting into fights with low level delinquents is beneath him. It’s not just his knuckles and clothes that are getting dirty; by feeding into the school’s image that he’s this young, violent yakuza heir, he’s dirtying the prestige Gojo claims is oh so important.

“Megumi.” He straightens up at the sound of your voice, which usually sounds so sweet, especially when it’s directed towards him. Instead, you have an uncharacteristic frown on your face and you sound… mad. “Let’s go.”

You’ve got a hand wrapped around his wrist, and people part when they spot the two of you making a hasty exit. The teachers aren’t bold enough to cause a scene with you, and the students know both you and Megumi are practically untouchable — one being the spoiled brat daughter of a rich and powerful businessman, the other, a ticking time bomb with ties to the yakuza.

You don’t stop walking until the two of you are in a secluded courtyard at the school. No one goes here, mainly because it’s in such an inconvenient location and there’s nothing but trees and weeds over growing it. The two of you found it within your first week of being here, and ever since then, it’s become your designated spot to avoid prying eyes.

“I thought you were over stupid fights. You told me yourself that they weren’t the type of people worth beating up.” You scold him, forcing him to take a seat on the bench that creaks under his weight. You make a noise as you inspect the drying blood on his knuckles.

If an outsider were to look at the scene before them, they would gape at the unbecoming sight of you on your knees, in between his legs, too close for a duo who claims to be “just good friends”. But there’s nothing inherently dirty in your thoughts. Instead, you’re staring thoughtfully at his hands, inspecting the minor damage done to them.

Megumi swallows hard as he looks down on you. He shouldn’t be feeling like this — you’re his best friend, his only friend. The only person who’s by his side. If you could read in his mind, there’s no doubt that you would be recoiling away from him in disgust…)

You’re still by his side, even when he told you the truth about himself after waiting years to see if you were truly his friend or not.

(“The rumors—” He starts to say, but you shush him, rolling over on your side to face him. The two of you are lying on the grass in your massive backyard, trying to spot a shooting star that’s supposed to be passing by at any second now.

“I don’t care about that.” You tell him. Middle school was a bitch to deal with, mainly because as everyone was in the process of growing up and “maturing”, so did the rumors they spread. Now, the two of you are halfway through your first week of high school. A new school, a couple of new classmates, and new rumors surrounding the odd pair.

“If I told you the rumors about me being someone you should avoid were true, would you be mad?” He’s lying on his back, still staring up at the night sky. He’s not turning to face you, almost as if he’s scared to look at you.

“Yes.” You answer without any hesitation. “At the person who’s spreading that around.” You clarify, poking him on his side to lighten the somber mood he’s setting. “You’re the only real friend I’ve had in forever, Megumi. I don’t think what anyone says about you would change that.”

“What if I did something bad?” Like kill a person. What then? What would you think of him if he told you the full truth: that Gojo told him that he can’t shield Megumi from the dirtier aspects of this type of life. That he’s spent hours after school, hours after hanging out with you and pretending to be a normal teenager, learning how to assemble, disassemble, and then reassemble a gun. That his target practice isn’t glass bottles lined up in a row or sheets printed out with human bodies. What happens if he told you that his target practice was low level scum from rival yakuza clans that Gojo couldn’t be bothered to kill himself?

“Mmm. How bad are we talking? Like, lied to me when you said my Christmas outfit looked good but half my ass was practically exposed bad or committing a felony bad?”

“What if I told you… that I really was a yakuza heir.”

The silence is palpable and especially soul crushing to Megumi as he waits for your reply.

“It wouldn’t matter to me, Megumi.” You say. You know that this isn’t just some type of hypothetical question he’s asking for fun. From his odd living situation to the intense nature of him in general to the fact that he knows practically everything about you, but you barely know the full extent of his childhood traumas despite growing up alongside him, you know deep in your heart that there has to be something going on with him. Something dark enough to harbor stories about him.

“Are you sure about that?”

You reach for his hand in the dark, finding it without really needing to look. He’s not one that’s prone to initiating physical contact, but you found out that he doesn’t really mind when you reach for him first.

“You can’t get rid of me, no matter how crazy or fucked up you think your life is.” You squeeze his hand, still staring at him.

You don’t notice the shooting star flying past the night sky, but Megumi is looking right at it. He knows what he’s wishing for.

For your words to be true.)

You’re still by his side, even when he brought you to his sister’s bedside. She’s sick, afflicted with something no one knows, not even the private doctors that Gojo’s spent millions on. She was still conscious, albeit confined to her bed when the two of you first met, but she’s been in a coma ever since the last year of middle school. You were by his side as he broke down about the news. It was the first time you’ve ever seen him cry.

So, no matter how much it may seem like he’s pushing you away, you don’t budge. For someone smaller than him and definitely weaker, you’re awfully resilient. And while people make the occasional joke, telling you to “blink twice if you need help”, you don’t pay any attention to them. If only they knew the truth: that you’ve got Megumi Fushiguro, heir to a massive yakuza clan, wrapped around your dainty finger.

He’s so whipped that he found himself asking Gojo for a rare favor.

(“College?” Gojo rubs the back of his neck, staring at Megumi. “I mean, I guess it’ll be good for you. Meet a wild party girl, take her to your dorm room, tame her—”

“An education is the whole point of attending, you know.” Megumi interrupts him before Gojo can jump into a story highlighting all of his sexual endeavors with college girls back in the day.

“Eh. I guess.” But then a grin lights up the feature of the man who [kind of/by definition] raised him. “But y’know what I know for a fact.” He wiggles his eyebrows, his glasses slipping down his nose as he tilts his head downwards. “You wanna follow [Name].”)

It doesn’t really matter if he’s not good enough to get into the university you’ve already received an early acceptance for. Because Gojo tries to make up for being an absent father figure, he fills in those empty spaces with cold, hard cash. All it takes is one nice donation, and Megumi’s wherever he wants to be.

Where he wants to be, he realizes, is to be by your side. Wherever you go, he’ll gladly follow. Funnily enough, despite the two vastly different backgrounds the both of you come from, you both have similar means of getting what you want.

Your father had already looked over the list of universities you had in mind, and all you could do was excitedly squeal and start rambling the moment the acceptance letters came in the mail. Despite the fact that your father’s physically absent from your life most of the time, he still tries to show he cares in the things he does for you. If paying off over half a dozen major universities in order to make you happy is something he has to do, he’ll do it without batting an eye.

It’s the same thing on Megumi’s end. Granted, Gojo’s means are more along the lines of using money as a lubricant and then death as an inevitable. Money talks, a gunshot to the head silences. Nobody can accuse anyone of taking bribes if said accused person is in a grave six feet under.

Sometimes, Megumi wonders how you’re just so oblivious to the fortunate circumstances in your life. You chalk up a lot of your father’s wishes as just “good luck”. In school, you’re placed on a pedestal, revered as some goddess-like, otherworldly being. People are practically tripping over themselves, running towards you for a crumb of your attention. Anyone sane would gladly wield this power and use it for all its worth. Not you, though. Not you, who’s kind and considerate and completely clean from the corruptness that plagues everyone else.

Megumi knows good and well that he’s not a hero — couldn’t be farther from it, if he’s being honest. He doesn’t feel a moral obligation to go out and rid the world of all evil. (It’d be hypocritical, he thinks, considering the fact that he’s most likely belonging under the evil category himself.) From a young age, he’s already known and come to terms with his fate. He’s going to train and learn from the best, and eventually, he will succeed as head of the clan. That is his purpose. That right there is the reason why he’s still alive today. That is why he can find himself sitting at his desk, submitting an application that’s already guaranteed to be followed up with an acceptance letter, ready to pretend for four more years that he’s normal.

“D’you think college will be fun?” You ask him, making yourself comfortable in his bed.

“No.”

You laugh at that. You like Megumi for a lot of reasons, and his honesty is one of them. Despite the fact that he likes to keep most of the darker details of his life to himself, you know that he would never lie to you. In a world full of people who are constantly lying, it gets tiring trying to figure out who’s real and who’s fake. It doesn’t help that you want to believe in everyone either. If you didn’t have Megumi loyally staying by your side all this time, you doubt you would have made it this far in your life without anyone taking advantage of you and your kindness.

“My dad said I can finally get a boyfriend when I go to college.” You say this fact so casually that Megumi almost — almost — gets fooled into believing that this is not a cause for concern. Almost.

“Oh.” He’s at a loss for words. He knows that it’s inevitable; that one day, you’ll find a guy you like and want to get closer to him. He knows that you’re not always going to be by his side, and he knows that it’s going to happen because he’ll have to push you away eventually. The older he gets, the deeper he’s burying himself into his grave. He doesn’t want you to get caught in the crossfire.

It’s not like boys have never tried approaching you before. People have spent years thinking that you and Megumi were a couple, and then after finding out from you that the two of you are nothing more than “best friends”, boys were still hesitant to talk to you. The glare Megumi would give them from behind your shoulder acted as a strong enough deterrent.

“I know. Now the only problem is finding a guy who’ll actually wanna date me.”

“They all will.” The words leave his mouth faster than he can even think about them. He’s not wrong, though. Every time the two of you are out in public together, he sees people shooting quick glances at you, at your ass, at your bright smile. The looks they give are predatory, dangerous, even. If it’s not your looks, it’s your shining personality that draws them all in. And if that’s not good enough, there’s always the enormous wealth attached to your last name. That’s the key to getting them to stay.

“You can be so sweet sometimes, you know that?” You giggle, glad that he’s still typing away on his laptop. If he were to look at you right now, he would see that you’re reacting way too positively to such a lackluster compliment. It’s not like he listed reasons on why anyone would ever want to date you, so he probably could just be complimenting you to make you happy.

(That’s just the excuse you’re going with. You know your best friend — that means you know that he would never say something he doesn’t truly think or believe.)

There’s a secret you’ve been keeping from him. A secret so big that you think you might’ve been keeping it from yourself, too. Something so big that your body simply can’t contain it any longer.

You like Megumi. 

Of course you do. You keep telling the whole world what great friends the two of you are. You talk to him about your dad all the time (which must mean he’s important, because you rarely get to speak to your dad, so you have to choose your topics of conversation wiseley). You trust him more than you trust yourself. Ever since middle school, you’ve been telling yourself that you liking Megumi isn’t anything to be ashamed or confused about. You like him because he’s your friend, and you’re supposed to like your friends.

And then you came to terms with the fact that you like Megumi beyond the borders of friendship.

It starts with you seeing him the way other girls must see him. You’re not blind, you know. It’s obvious that Megumi is far from ugly. If he wasn’t so intimidating, you’re sure he would have had his fair share of confessions, too. Megumi’s pretty, although calling him a pretty boy wouldn’t do his character justice. He’s got lashes people pay extensions for theirs to look like, and the prettiest dark blue eyes you’ve ever seen, and his hair, which he doesn’t put forth any type of effort in, always looks good whereas the same hairstyle would look messy on anyone else.

It’s not just his looks, though. Even if you look like the type of person who would judge others based on such shallow standards, you didn’t approach Megumi simply because he’s attractive. He’s… interesting. He’s got this reputation for being a delinquent, and maybe all the fights on his school record prove it, but he’s surprisingly respectful. He’s the type of guy who gets up from his seat to let an eldery woman have it. He loves animals. He’s honest and sweet despite his seemingly stoic nature, and he’s so oblivious to just how good he is.

Maybe it’s because he’s so blinded by the light that is you. You, with your cutesy bento boxes that used to be made by your team of personal chefs but are now made with your own manicured hands. You, with that bright smile of yours that he wants to always see because god — he thinks he would be willing to destroy the whole world if something were to ever make you so upset. You’re kind and beautiful and everything people write love songs about. You’re so good, and he’s nothing like you.

He’s nothing like you, because he highly doubts that you spend your time fantasizing about him like he does with you. It’s wrong, he thinks. And dirty, and disgusting, and vile. You’d hate him, he’s sure of it, if you knew what he thinks about late at night. That he sits on his bed with his cock pulled out from his shorts, leaking with precum as he strokes himself to the thought of you. Do you not see him as any other guy? Despite your lack of experience, surely you know just how dirty boys’ minds can be? You’ve got to be conscious of the fact that he’s any other guy, right? So, why — why — do you always roll around in his sheets, letting your sweet perfume stick to his sheets. Your tiny tops and skirts are always clinging tight to your body, and you never feel the need to readjust your clothing when it rides up. Do you not see him trying his hardest to look you in the eyes when the two of you are talking, despite the tantalizing sight of your skirt bunching up, exposing the smooth skin of your thighs?

Little does Megumi know (and if you have your way, he’ll never find out), you spend nights in your room, whining and trying to stuff your cunt with the same fingers that painstakingly made him his lunch. He’s your best friend since childhood. He looks at you like you’re an angel, and you don’t want to destroy that image by revealing just how dirty you really are. How every time he gets so close to you, you subconsciously bring your thighs together, trying to rub them together in a poor attempt to relieve some tension. He’d be disgusted with you, you’re sure of it. Maybe even betrayed.

Besides, it would never work out. Megumi doesn’t see you the way you see him. He might look at you with a soft look you’ve never seen him give anyone else, but that’s because you’re his only friend. It’s not like he’s harboring any hidden feelings for you, and just because you’re so convinced that there’s no one better than Megumi around, it doesn’t exactly mean that you won’t feel this way about anyone else.

Megumi’s got a rather monotone cadence with his voice, so you’re not too surprised by his seemingly unethusiatic response to you saying you’re now allowed to date. Still — there’s a slight pang of disappointment when you realize that he doesn’t sound jealous at the prospect of you dating someone else.

You decide right then and there that the healthiest thing to do now is to just bury your feelings for him deep inside your heart, to tightly pack in all those pesky feelings and store them away so you can make room to allow others to fill in his space.

gumi <3: where are you? gumi <3: i’m feeling tired and i have an assignment due tomorrow. i’m going home. gumi <3: you know i wouldn’t leave without you. cmon [name]. let’s leave now

Megumi frowns at his phone. He can clearly see that all his messages are being delivered, not to mention that he’s already called you twice and has been sent to voicemail twice. He can be patient when he wants to be, but right now, he’s getting a little pissed.

You know that he doesn’t like parties, and you know that he doesn’t hang out with the same people you do. He also knows that you don’t even really like most of the people you surround yourself with, so whyyou suddenly decided to do a 180 and reestablish your throne as the head of the social pyramid, he doesn’t know.

Lately, things between the two of you have been a little… weird. Sometimes he catches you staring at him with a sad smile on your face; one that you immediately replace with your usual one when you realize he’s looking right at you. Despite him asking you if everything’s okay, you vehemently deny that there’s anything wrong, and you’re quick to change the subject.

He thinks he’s losing his best friend, his only friend. And maybe it only hurts because he’s grown used to your presence in his life. Maybe it hurts because you’re his friend. But he knows the truth. It hurts because he’s losing you.

Did he do something wrong? Did he accidentally somehow reveal the extent of his feelings for you? Did you suddenly decide that maybe associating with someone like him isn’t something you’re meant for? Do you…

Do you hate him now?

It doesn’t matter. Maybe it does, but not right now. Right now, he’s more focused on getting the hell out of this stuffy ass living room, filled to the brim with drunken young adults and people he couldn’t care less about. The only person that matters right now is you, and he’s on a mission to find your location.

He’s got this ominous feeling in his gut, like something bad is about to happen. He’s Megumi Fushiguro, for fuck’s sake, so bad things have a habit of following him wherever he goes. But still, he’s made a personal promise to himself that no matter how bad things get, you’ll never get caught in the crossfire. He’s willing to die to keep that vow.

If you don’t reply to him, you most likely have a good reason. He doesn’t want to be clingy, is pretty damn certain he doesn’t even have a right to be, but he’s still worried about you. He’s pushing past the wall of sweaty bodies, trying to catch a glimpse of your hair color, the waft of your perfume, the familiarity of your laugh, but he can’t catch a single crumb of you anywhere.

You’re nowhere in sight, and he’s immediately filled with dread.

He yanks a guy who’s coming from upstairs.

“Ow, man, what the fuc—”

“Is anyone else up there?” Most of the time, the parties are restricted to just the first floor, with the unspoken rule being that only the upstairs should be used for people trying to fuck or to use the bathroom (or, people trying to use the bathroom to fuck). You’re not anywhere downstairs, and if you were simply using the restroom, you would have been back down here by now.

“Shit, I don’t fucking know.” The guy squints at Megumi, as if trying to see if he knows him or not. With the way his expression pales, Megumi comes to the conclusion that the guy might not really know him, but he knows ofhim. Gojo says that with the right reputation, the two concepts are practically synonymous. “But I heard a guy ‘n a girl, I think, walk past the bathroom. I don’t know who, though!”

Megumi lets go of the boy’s shirt, and he’s quick to run off before Megumi can give him any more wrinkles in his shirt — or do something much worse.

He’s thinking. Odds are, it’s probably not even you. With so many people roaming around this house, it’s likely that he just missed your presence. Your phone could have died, so that explains why he can’t reach you.

He finds himself heading up the stairs anyway.

It’s fine. He tells himself. You’re fine. You’re okay. Nobody would dare to touch a single hair on your head unless they want to suffer directly at the hands of Megumi. People around campus call him your guard dog, and it’s not necessarily a nickname he hates.

The atmosphere upstairs is vastly different from the one downstairs. There are no lights turned on, and all the doors to the rooms are closed. He hears a flush coming from one end, and out walks a tipsy girl who’s staggering a bit. There are only so many doors to choose from, and he doesn’t really want to accidentally walk in on two people trying to have sex, but the need to confirm your safety outweighs any possible embarrassment he may suffer from, so he continues on his mission.

The first two rooms are revealed to be empty, leaving just one more. Megumi takes a deep breath before trying to turn the handle.

It’s locked. 

His gut is telling him something isn’t right, but he’s forcing himself to chalk it all up to paranoia. He curses under his breath, wondering why he even let you out of his sights for a single second.

Because he didn’t want to seem clingy. Because he didn’t want you to have any more reasons to keep on pushing him away. 

He decides to call you one more time, and as he’s listening to the dial tone, he hears a faint sound coming from the other side of the locked door.

It’s a phone ringing.

He presses his ear against the door, trying to make out any more sounds he possibly can. Is it still a coincidence when the phone stops ringing right as Megumi is greeted with your voicemail message of “sorry, I can’t come to the phone right now, but you probably should’ve just texted me!”

Without the annoying dial tone distracting him, Megumi can listen a little more clearly to what’s going on. There’s… there’s someone crying.

The voices are muffled, but he can make out bits and pieces of what’s being said.

“—fuck up… crying like a damn bitch… want this.”

He’s heard enough before he’s banging his shoulder against the door.

“OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!” He’s screaming, hitting it again. There’s a chance, the voice of reason inside of him is saying, that it’s not you that’s crying behind that door. Even if it wasn’t, Megumi still wouldn’t have stood by idly. But instinct is telling him that it is you, and that’s enough cause for him to bang his shoulder against the door once again. He hears a scream, and a male voice cursing.

The force of his body banding against it is enough to have the door really test the strength of its lock. Megumi’s never been the bulkiest person in the world, but he’s still got some defined muscle to him. The door is creaking, almost bending to his will, but he fumbles in the dark for the gun safely tucked away by his side.

It’s a gift from Gojo. To speed up the process when something needs to be done quick is what Gojo said it was for. He’s never used it in such close proximity to you, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

No silencer. He forgot the fucking silencer. With the deep bass rumbling from the speakers, he doubts anyone would be able to hear the gun go off anyway. He aims for the handle, pulling back the safety, and fires once, then twice. With a foot aimed at the door, he kicks at it, pleased to see the way the abused door finally bends to his will.

The open door reveals a scene that makes Megumi see red: you, with tear stained cheeks and your clothes bunched up and strewn across the floor with a guy Megumi vaguely recognizes as someone sharing the same Econ class as the two of you — Mahito.

“You fucking bastard.” Megumi practically lunges forward, tossing his gun to the side. He doesn’t see reason, is numb to common sense at this moment. All he feels is the need to hurt this fucker. To make him bleed, to have him on the brink of death, to see the light of life leave his dark eyes.

Mahito is fast, but even he couldn’t imagine the speed that Megumi would possess when pushed to the edge. This is different from the fights you’ve witnessed during school. This is something entirelydifferent.

The first punch has Mahito wincing in pain. The second, third, and fourth ones are thrown back to back, and there’s no time given to recover, no chance to gain the upper hand. He’s falling down, and Megumi’s on top of him, drawing back his fist only to slam it against him again and againand again.

Megumi knows he’s got something fucked up inside of his head — what other explanation is there to reason with why he finds this bloody violence so satisfying? His knuckles are bloody, and he can’t tell where Mahito’s blood starts and where his own ends. There’s a wild grin on his face, one that you’ve never seen before. You’re not sure if it’s a trick of the shadows, but the feral expression on Megumi’s face transforms him from your loyal best friend to something monstrous.

“‘Gumi, st-stop.” The words stumble out of your mouth as hiccups, but you don’t miss the way Megumi’s raised arm freezes in its higher position before he slowly brings it back down to his side. He’s breathing deeply, and all is silent in the room.

As if the sound of your cries is enough to snap him out of his daze, it’s almost scary how fast his mood shifts. Just a second ago, he was hellbent on beating Mahito to a bloody pulp, and now the darkness drowning those blue eyes of his is practically gone. He makes his way to the bed, each step hurried but still hesitant. Do you even want to be near him right now? 

You answer his question with some more small sobs. “‘Gumi, I—”

“Shh, it’s okay, [Name].” He’s picking up your clothes from the floor, ready to help you get dressed. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

“Megumi.” His name seems to be the only thing you’re capable of saying right now. After he helps you get dressed, he’s thrown off guard when you cling to him, with your arms wrapped around his neck and your wet cheeks pressed against his shoulder.

The moment the two of you are exiting the room, both of you far too wrapped up with the other to pay him any mind, Mahito lets out a laugh before groaning at the pain Megumi inflicted.

The two of you don’t know what you just started, but no worries — Mahito has the means of ending it.

It’s only a matter of time.

You’re too good to be true.

You won’t listen to him when he tells you this (you never do), but he swears you’re a fucking angel or something otherwordly. There’s no other possible explanation for just how breathtakingly beautiful you are, or how you’re the only thing consuming his every thought. Despite the fact that all the blood on his hands has reached an amount that he’s sure he’ll never truly be able to wash it all off, you don’t shy away from his touch. As a matter of fact, it seems like you’re keening for it.

“‘Gumi.” You mewl out, sticking out your tongue to lap at the precum on Megumi’s thumb.

You’re well aware of just how dangerous your boyfriend (the title makes you giddy every time you refer to him as that) is, but you know him. You know that the hands of a killer are the hands of your lover, and most of the time, you have a hard time believing the awful things he’s had to do with them. Because right now, those hands that are meant to be weapons are handling you with care, touching you so gently, you would have thought you were made of glass and ready to shatter.

“Look at you, all spread out for me. What happened to my precious, shy little girl, huh?” He removes the hand that was cradling your face back to his cock, stroking his length, the saliva from your tongue acting as a minor lubricant. The first time he fucked you was the first time you’ve ever had sex with anyone ever, and it had been the start of an addiction. You love Megumi. You love everything about him, from his character to his tenacity, all the way down to his cock, with its red tip that’s sticky with pre and leaking out more as he stares down at the obscene position you’re in.

Your face feels warm as he stares down at you, his eyes darkened with a mix of love and lust that you don’t think you’ll ever get used to being on the receiving end of.

“Need you, need you so bad, please, ‘Gumi—” You’re staring up at him, giving him your best doe eyes.

“Fuck.” Just the sight of you beneath him, completely bending to his will, whining out for him to pretty please fuck you has him ready to cum right on the fucking spot. He’s pressing the tip in, his breathing faltering just the slightest as the warmth you provide envelopes the most sensitive part of him, nearly causing him to lose all self control right then and there.

You let out a cry as he pushes himself deeper in you, making himself at home in your gummy walls, one hand gripping your hip and the other holding onto the headboard.

“You feel so good for me, baby, shit.” He hisses, waiting for you to adjust, impatient but willing to bear it if it means it’ll feel better for you in the long run. After all, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do, nothing he wouldn’t endure, just to ensure your happiness.

“Mm — ah — please.” There are still tears welling up in your eyes — precious girl, he hasn’t even began to properly fuck you, and you’re already tearing up? The sight of you completely and willingly at his mercy is enough to get him to start rutting his hips against yours, the satisfying sound of skin slapping against skin resounding and bouncing against the walls of his bedroom that is starting to feel more like the both of yours.

“Y’feel so fuckin’ good for me, baby.” He groans, his pace quickening, the thrusts getting sharper and rougher with every roll of his hips. You’re powerless against his strength, and this type of easy submission feels so natural, feels so good, when it’s him that’s taking advantage of it. “You’ve got the sweetest pussy, y’know that?  I could fuck you forever.”

His praise goes through one ear and out the other with you, but your heart swells up to twice its size. Even if you can’t focus on the words all too clearly, you’re still aware that Megumi’s probably praising you. You can come to this conclusion because he’s always praising you. He’s always so sweet, so gentle, so loving — when it comes to you, that is.

“Hng — daddy!” You can’t help but let out a high pitched moan as he hits that sweet spot inside of you that makes you buck your hips up.

There’s no way you don’t know what you’re doing. Clenching around his cock like that, making those cute little noises that he can’t help but want to hear all the time, and then calling him that.

“Daddy, daddy, daddy.” 

Forget igniting something within him; you whining for him, calling him something that’s the root cause of all his childhood traumas… That’s like dousing him with gasoline and tossing a lighter at him. He’s going to burn through all his energy, channel all this dark, feral energy, and use you as the one unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end.

He fucks into you so deeply that if your eyes weren’t shut tight, there’s no doubt that you wouldn’t see the unmistakable shape of his cock outlined against your tummy. The headboard is banging against the wall, and the squelching sounds of him roughly thrusting in and out of your sopping cunt is so lewd and so dirty that if you had any room to harbor a single ounce of shame, you would be downright embarrassed.

“How about you make me a daddy, huh? How about I fuck a baby in you?” He won’t lie and say it’s not something that’s never crossed his mind. The thought of your stomach round with a life the two of you created is enough to get him to continue with this near-brutal pace he’s set forth. “Doesn’t it sound nice, baby? My baby giving me a baby, what—” He grits his teeth as you tighten up. “—a fucking dream.”

“Baby. Wanna have your babies.” You cry out, tears spilling out and wetting your cheeks as your arms find their way to his neck and broad shoulders, trying to pull him in closer. The heat building up from within you feels like you’re about to fucking explode. “‘Gumi, I love you, Iloveyoupleasegimmeababy—'' Your words are practically unintelligible as you slur them out, the words sticking together as you cum all over his cock, all that pleasure that has been building up now physically tangible, if the white ring encasing his cock every time he pulls out is evidence.

“Fuck! You feel so fucking good. Always so fuckin’ tight.” He’s reaching his own end, and you’re just lying there, trying to recover from such an intense orgasm but unable to as your too sensitive walls clench around the constant intrusion of his cock. Spurred by your little love confession and his mind imagining his daydreams coming true — you, as his cute little housewife, taking care of the kids the two of you made together — he finally shoves himself as deep as he physically can, making sure that as he cums, nothing will spill out.

“‘Gumi.” You whisper, your head resting against his chest, listening to the beat of his heart. “Did you mean it when you said you wanted to start a family?”

He’s silent for a minute.

“I wouldn’t mind starting a family with you.” And he means it. He knows this life isn’t one meant for children — look at how he turned out, for god’s sake — but he thinks that for you, he can do anything. Even make a family work out. As long as it’s what you want, he doesn’t mind how hard it may be.

You snuggle closer to him, burying your face in the warmth of his chest. “Good.” You mumble. “I wanna start a family with you, too.”

Megumi feels… at peace. Like he’s got the whole entire world in the palm of his hands. He wraps his arms around you, and realizes that no — right now, he’s got his world right in his arms.

Mahito likes to play with his food before he devours them whole.

Humans are just so… vulnerable. Even the coldest people have a heart; it’s only a matter of whether or not they find someone warm enough to defrost it. Megumi Fushiguro, for example, likes to walk around this world, acting indifferent and claiming to follow his own moral conduct, only to give himself the biggest weakness he could possibly harbor: you.

He still remembers that party. He still remembers the way you were dressed like a little slut, completely oblivious (or maybe you were just acting coy) to the wolfish stares all the guys were giving you. He had the same class as you. Seen the way you clung to Gojo’s charity case, as if the ground would swallow Megumi whole if you let go of him. You’re cute, and you scream naive virgin, and that’s precisely why Mahito wanted to take you to that bedroom and have his way with you.

And then, your infamous little guard dog bared his teeth and pummeled him into the hardwood of a stranger’s bedroom floor.

Grudges are cancerous. If you don’t deal with it right away, it develops into something worse. It takes over all your internal organs, ruining you ‘til the only thing you can focus on is getting revenge. And the longer you wait, the more vengeful you get. It doesn’t become a matter of ruined pride or reestablishing honor — it becomes about inflicting the most pain one possibly can. It becomes about suffering — about transferring your pain, your anguish, onto someone else.

Mahito isn’t the type to hold grudges, but for Megumi, he’ll make a special exception. He wants to see just how well trained the boy is; after all, he’s been taken under the wing and supervision of Satoru Gojo, the myth himself. Surely, his student must be nearly as skilled, right?

It’s been a long game of watching and waiting on Mahito’s end. A lot of lurking in the shadows and gathering intel. It’s a lot more boring than he anticipated, but today’s the day where all his hard work finally comes to fruition. Megumi Fushiguro is going to regret ever interfering with him that one fateful night. The burning humiliation he’s felt has long since fizzled out, but since he’s already been set on the path of orchestrating Megumi’s destruction, he figures it only makes sense to see it through. You only can let go of a grudge after you get your proper revenge.

He’s been leaving Megumi all sort of taunting, teasing threats any chance he gets. Mahito’s got nothing but disgraced yakuza members on his side; those who have committed acts vile enough to get them kicked out of what is essentially a group of criminals. He knows how to be twisted — hell, twisted might be the only thing he knows how to be.

Killing girls that resemble you and sending him the photos. Taking videos of you when you’re out in public alone. Leaving voicemails for Megumi, ones that leave him pale faced and unable to breathe as he listens to how Mahito wants to tortue you.

Megumi’s been on edge for the past few months, unable to explain to you why. It’s why you don’t understand why Megumi won’t let you go back to your car, even though you left your phone in there.

“I’ll go. Or, we can go together.”

“You have to wait for our coffee! And besides, I don’t even know where I left my phone. It might not even be in the car, but you’ll just waste your time searching for it if it’s not there.”

“So then why do you have to go look for it?”

“Because it’s my phone? Also, I reeeeeallly don’t wanna have to wait for our coffee, so I figured looking for my phone in the car would kill some time.” You give him that sweet smile of yours that he loves so much before waving him goodbye. “I’ll be back by the time our order is ready, pinky promise!”

At the end of the day, it’s all luck. Mahito realizes this as you happily skip out of the crowded cafe, headed towards your car to search for your phone. He doesn’t know why you’re returning back to your car, doesn’t even really care. All he knows and all he cares about is that you’re headed there alone. And while you’ve been alone plenty of times, he’s never had an opportunity quite like this one. A chance to finally detonate the bomb that’s been lying dormant underneath your car, ready to be activated at the press of a button. He could’ve killed you plenty of times already, but it’s not enough to merely murder you. He wants to make it a spectacle, sure, but he also only cares about one audience member watching: Megumi.

From where he’s hiding, blending in with the rest of the customers from the bakery across the street, he’s got a decent enough view of Megumi, who’s sitting by the glass windows, watching you with furrowed brows as you unlock the car door.

Mahito can’t help the cruel smile that spreads across his face as pushes the remote connected to the bomb.

Nobody expects to hear the loud, resounding boom of something exploding. The surrounding cars parked next to yours have their alarms going off like crazy; it’s nothing but high pitched, blaring noises blending together to create a disruptive harmony. People are screaming, someone is on the line with emergency services, and—

—your precious car is set aflame, reduced to a burning pile of scrap metal no salvage yard will take.

In this moment, Megumi Fushiguro’s world crumbles to ashes.

[jude5bellingham]

tbt pt.2 ౨ৎ trent alexander-arnold

part one here!

pairing: trent alexander-arnold x f!reader

summary: part two of throwback thursday, reader is lfc's photographer but people start thinking there is something off when she is exclusively posting tbts

notes: hope u guys enjoy :3

yourusername

tagged trentarnold66 and liverpoolfc

liked by trentarnold66, liverpoolfc and 102,549 others

yourusername my first heartbreak tbh.. #tbt

view all 80,435 comments

trentarnold66 mine too

yourusername wrong actually! your first heartbreak was when i laughed in your face when you asked me out cause i thought you had to have been joking

ibrahimakonate oh wow😂���

user1 trent getting aired out on a tbt of 2021/2022 ucl finals post of yn's is crazy😭😭

trentarnold66 it was just a misunderstanding 😒 we are literally married now anyways

virgilvandijk no need to open old wounds

yourusername sorry skip im running out of content

mosalah you will have more if you comeback!

yourusername soon mo!!!!

andyrobertson94 comeback to work soon

yourusername hopefully

user2 yn isnt at work???

user3 we miss you yn

user4 real lads' first heartbreaks💔

yourusername

tagged trentarnold66 and england

liked by trentarnold66, england and 100,878 others

yourusername throwback to when my (now) ex-boyfriend made me pay stupidly expensive tickets to see him #tbt

view all 60,090 comments

trentarnold66 did not

yourusername did too

joegomez5 you two are such children

yourusername 🤫

trentarnold66 stop calling me your exboyfriend

yourusername you literally are mate

andyrobertson94 your exboyfriend sounds terrible

yourusername he didn't even score! why'd i spend all that money!

ibrahimakonate 😂😂😂

szoboszlaidominik what's your exboyfriends @

yourusername oh hell no....

user5 her calling trent (her husband) her ex boyfriend 😭😭😭

user6 they're literally so funny 😭😭😭

yourusername

tagged trentarnold66 and england

liked by trentarnold66, england and 120,432 others

yourusername shouting out this young lad from liverpool #tbt

view all 80,003 comments

trentarnold66 ...

andyrobertson94 up and coming young scouse lad

curtisjr young lad just trying to make it

judebellingham that is broski 🙏

user7 i wonder how trent felt seeing these pictures 😭😭

user8 has anyone else noticed she's only been posting tbts?? i know she does normally but she hasn't uploaded a not tbt in a while..

user9 she might just be going through old content!! she has a habit of uploading extra pics from old tbts later when she feels like she needs to post more!!

yourusername

tagged trentarnold66

liked by trentarnold66, liverpoolfc and 109,883 others

yourusername even with setbacks, just know YNWA ❤️‍🩹 #tbt

view all 65,556 comments

trentarnold66 i miss you at the games

yourusername alright pack it up loverboy

yourusername i miss you at games too... GET BACK ON THE PITCH!

judebellingham mate can never catch a break huh

yourusername nope!

user109 WE also miss you yn

harvelliott we miss you

❤️ liked by yourusername

liverpoolfc yn YOU need to remember that ynwa ❤️❤️

curtisjr ^^ ❤️

mosalah ^^ ❤️

ibrahimakonate ^^ ❤️

virgilvandijk ^^ ❤️

yourusername okay relax guys i'm going to cry and i'm a real ugly crier...

trentarnold66 @yourusername liar

andyrobertson94 trent's just a sap after all

user10 is yn okay? why did lfc comment that?

user11 did yn leave lfc?

user12 why are they all leaving hearts and saying ynwa?? did yn leave??

user13 i hope everything is alright yn ❤️ YNWA❤️

yourusername

tagged trentarnold66 and england

liked by trentarnold66, england and 100,409 others

yourusername when @england hired me for the season and then i literally just watched him have stronger bonds with men than me but that's ok i guess #tbt

view all 80,867 comments

trentarnold66 i'm not even going to say anything

aaronramsdale you're acting like trent didn't kick me out of the room to spend time with you

yourusername okay don't get dramatic! it wasn't even your bed!

aaronsramsdale 🙁

england 😳

yourusername 😳

judebellingham no photos of trent and i?

yourusername yeah as if i was gonna post my ex-boyfriend's side ting

judebellingham ex-boyfriend 😭

user14 did yn leave lfc for the england nt???

user15 if you left for the england nt, we still love you yn ❤️❤️

yourusername

tagged trentarnold66 and liverpoolfc

yourusername yes i have heard the news, trust me we are all devastated but YNWA klopp and thank you for the memories, especially the ones in the making ❤️❤️❤️ #tbt

user has restricted comments on this post

yourusername

tagged trentarnold66 and andyrobertson94

liked by trentarnold, andyrobertson94 and 101,255 others

yourusername no words can describe how i feel about this friendship but maybe this ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 emoji can! #tbt

view all 90,888 comments

andyrobertson94 love you both❤️❤️ can't wait for your return

trentarnold66 ❤️

szoboszlaidominik that should be me 💔

yourusername leave my ex-boyfriend and his husband alone... homewrecker...

user16 we hope you feel better ❤️❤️ we miss you and klopp

user17 klopp hasnt even left yet

user18 tell that to the hole in my heart

yourusername and trentarnold66

liked by trentarnold66, andyrobertson94 and 150,809 others

yourusername hi everyone! i'm so sorry i did not say anything during these last few months... if i'm honest they were very difficult. I was not myself for the last few months so I took a leave of absence from lfc, that i'm so incredibly grateful for, and i tried to post like usual even though i was running out of photos and energy. Trent's injury, Klopp's announcement, and everything else in this world felt incredibly hard to deal with but even in those times I could always turn to this community to put a smile on my face. I'm so happy to let you all know Trent and I have welcomed a beautiful and healthy son to our family. anyways, long story short, always remember that i love you and that ynwa❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

view all 109,004 comments

andyrobertson94 Proud godfather here!❤️❤️

user229 omg😭😭😭

liverpoolfc congratulations yn! we love you & ynwa❤️

virgilvandijk ❤️

curtisjr new young scouse lad about to become a superstar 💫

judebellingham 🤍

aaronramsdale ❤️

jordanhenderson ❤️❤️

szoboszlaidominik ❤️

ibrahimakonate ❤️

user19 we love you yn❤️❤️

user20 im so glad you put yourself first❤️❤️

yourusername

liked by trentarnold66, andyrobertson94 and 109,899 others

yourusername my pretty boy 🤍🤍

view all 30,990 comments

yourusername trent is there too i guess

andyrobertson94 you know you could've asked me to take a picture of the three of you right

yourusername you don't get it andy

andyrobertson94 🙄

virgilvandijk two very stylish lads in the pics

yourusername it's cause i styled them after you skipp😁

curtisjr didnt know your exboyfriend could dress so well

yourusername he can't without my help 😕😕

user21 sobs... this is so cute😭😭

user22 dilf trent

❤️ liked by yourusername

user23 theyre soo cute together 😭😭

yourusername

tagged trentarnold66 and liverpoolfc

liked by trentarnold66, liverpoolfc and 120,389 others

yourusername some day my kids will know the winner that their father is #tbt

view all 89,343 comments

liverpoolfc they'll watch him win another with their own eyes

❤️ liked by yourusername

andyrobertson94 more importantly, they'll know how big of a winner their godfather is

yourusername honestly... you kind of are the captain of scotland and a member of the great british empire ...

trentarnold66 okay stop agreeing with each other

yourusername no need for jealousy in my comments

user24 KIDS??? AS IN PLURAL????

user25 omg is this a pregnancy announcement 😭😭

user26 ANOTHER ONE??? OMG

user27 UGHHHHH SPILLLLL

yourusername and trentarnold66

liked by trentarnold66, andyrobertson94 and 100,445 others

yourusername i don't think i could even begin to describe how happy and grateful i am, but i will try. i love the family i have created here in liverpool with the help of everyone. you are all family, thank you for the love and support you have always shown me. ❤️❤️

user has restricted comments on this post

[pinkpigtailsprincess]

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ Summer Glow up: creating new habits 🎀⭐️ *࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ!

Hi Dolls!! Welcome Back 2 Dollies 2 Months of Summer Glow Up !! 🎀⭐️ Today im gonna talk all about implementing brand new habits in my life !!

> Hobbies !! 🎀

> Academics !! 📒

> Beauty Care !! 🧖‍♀️

> Scheduling !! ☀️

> Taking Baby Steps !! 🛼

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Hobbies!! 🎀

…: This Summer I Plan on Taking up Some brand New Hobbies to keep my self busy and learn about brand new things bc everyday is useful!! and so i can use my time more wisely some hobbies i have in mind are…

- Yoga

- Painting

- Creative Writing

- Learning Japanese + Spanish

- Reading

- Puzzles!

- Blogging

- Learning To Code

- Doll Collecting

- Book Collecting

- Sewing + Crocheting

- Digital Art

- Piano

and obvii im already a blogger but i still added it anyways i will watching videos on how to get into these hobbies and videos on learning Spanish and more Japanese, also fun fact i’ve actually been studying Japanese sine 2021 but i stopped bc it got to hard but im starting back up!! anyways, after i watch the videos im gonna set up a financial list bc i have the fund all of these but its okay bc i can easily get money!! 🎀

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Academics !! 🎀

More Goals of mine are to raise my grades in an academic space bc i do have decent grades but i wanna aim higher and have PERFECT Grades so in turn that means i must study more and have more discipline and not so irresponsible with my time!! and i also wanna study subjects outside of school bc its always good to learn something new!! now for learning tips so far i have..

- Flash Cards

- Practice Methods

- Teaching Someone Else

- Trying to explain it to a 5 yr old

- Study a Week Before

- watch ted talks on topics

- SLEEP

- write out notes

Now i Also Have a list of subjects i want to learn about!!

- drawing facial expressions + bodies

- Sewing Stiches + How to Hem and Crochet

- How 2 Draw Bodies + Poses

- Full Anatomy 4 Both Genders

- Japanese + Spanish + French + ASL

- Color Theory

- Learning Cursive + Improving Handwriting

- Expanding Vocabulary

- Religious Cults

- Case and Law

- Poison and Toxicology

- Astronomy

- Medical Surgical Instruments

- Matriarchal Societies

- Socialism Societies

Now i definitely won’t be able to do all of this all at once bc it would definitely we too stressful so im gonna choose as least 2-3 to start with and study them and just learn! 🎀🧁

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Beauty Care !! 🐬

📧: Now I already have my regular beauty care regime skin,hair,eyebrows,eyelashes etc. but im also more focused on getting weekly treatments & weekly beauty care habits like…

- Nails

- Hair

- Eyelashes

- Face Mask

- Hand + Foot Mask

And i wanna try and find people in my city that can do this especially for nails bc i would go to the nail salon but i feel like they won’t be able to do it exactly how i want it to be !!!

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Scheduling !! ⭐️

Now That im gonna be so busy i need to make sure i also stay organized with my time so it doesn’t lead to stress so ill have my regular school classes on my regular schedule then making dedicated hours to studying Things i wanna learn about + Language Learning!

My Workouts are always early morning before school in the evening hours before i got to bed so i won’t have to worry about that affecting my academics. With my Hobbies i feel like only some of them really need scheduling so ill also make time dedicated to those as well !!!!

Beauty Maintenance will probably always be on weekends for the stuff that weekly/bi weekly like face masks,manipedis,hair etc!!

and last but definitely not least!!

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Taking Baby Steps !! ⭐️

This whole process is still all new too me so i’ll definitely only be doing a little at a time and working my way up and i get more familiar with the change in my daily life and i won’t pressure my self to complete everything extremely quickly and just take my time with everything! bye bye dolls tysm 4 keeping up with me while doing this kisses 4 all of u!!! 🎀⭐️

[najia-cooks]

[ID: Sweet potatoes with black, charred skin on a decorative plate. One has been opened to show bright orange flesh, sprinkled with sugar. End ID]

بطاطا حلوة مشوية / Batata hiluwa mashwiyya (Roasted sweet potatoes)

Sweet potatoes are considered a traditional and nostalgic food in Palestine—a gift from the land, a seasonal delicacy, a potentially profitable crop, "red gold." Every fall and winter, as they are grilled in taboon ovens throughout Gaza, their smell fills the air.

This recipe uses a method of preparation common in rural Palestine, which applies direct heat to char the potatoes; the black, crackly skin is then peeled off, leaving tender, steaming, sweet flesh with a roasted aroma. The peeled sweet potato is eaten on its own, or sprinkled with sugar.

The recent history of sweet potatoes in Gaza is a microcosm of Israel's economic control of the region during that time. Though they grow well in Gaza's soil, they are a risky commitment for its farmers, as the seeds or seedlings must be imported from Israel at considerable expense (about 40 shekels, or $10, per plantlet), and they need to be weeded every day and irrigated every other day. Water for irrigation is scarce in Gaza, as Israel drains and contaminates much of the supply.

Nevertheless, the crop would be a profitable one if Gazan farmers were allowed to export it. In the shmita year of 2014, for the first time since the Israeli military's deadly 51-day invasion two months prior, restrictions briefly eased to allow Gazans to export some agricultural products to Europe; the first shipment contained 30 tons of sweet potatoes. However, an estimated 90% of the sweet potato crop was at that time unsuitable for export, having been damaged by Israeli shrapnel. The Gazan Ministry of Agriculture estimated that damages of this kind cost the agricultural sector about 550 million USD during this year.

Gazan economist Maher al-Taba’a holds that Israel temporarily allowing export of a token amount of sweet potatoes “is nothing more than media propaganda which is meant to confuse international audiences" by giving the impression that the siege on Gaza was looser than it had been before the 2014 ceasefire agreement; meanwhile, the number of allowed exports had actually decreased since before the invasion occurred. Gazan farmers, in fact, were not even allowed to export produce to Palestinians in the West Bank until 2017.

The next shmita year (an agricultural sabbath during which ultra-Orthodox Jews allow their fields to lie fallow) began in September of 2021, around the same time as the beginning of the sweet potato harvest. In anticipation of the shmita year, and in keeping with the trickle of Gazan exports that had been allowed into Israel in the intervening years, many farmers had planted more than they otherwise would have. But Israel delayed accepting the imports, leading many farmers to throw away rotting produce, or to sell their produce in the local market for far lower prices than they had been expecting.

Israel's habit of closing off Gaza's exports arbitrarily and without notice recurred during the harvest season of 2022. When Israeli former MK Yaakov Litzman called on Minister of Agriculture and Rural Development Oded Forer to import sweet potatoes from Gaza due to a shortage of the produce in Israel, Forer refused, citing Israeli soldiers whom Palestinian resistance fighters had taken hostage as rationale for his decision. Other officials were surprised at the linking of an agricultural matter to a political one.

Farmers had no choice but to enter the harvest season hoping that the decision would be reversed and that their time, labor, money, and scarce water resources would not go to waste. With these last-minute decisions that cause Gazan farmers to be unable to fulfill their contracts, Israel damages the future viability of Gazan exports to European markets.

Support Palestinian resistance by calling Elbit System’s (Israel’s primary weapons manufacturer) landlord and donating to Palestine Action’s bail fund.

Equipment:

A fire, wood-burning oven, gas stove, or broiler

A baking sheet

Ingredients:

Sweet potatoes. Choose a variety with red or orange skin and orange flesh, such as garnet or jewel.

Sugar, cinnamon, date syrup, or tahina, to serve.

Instructions:

1. Wash sweet potatoes. Place them at the bottom of a taboon oven, or on a baking sheet or griddle laid over a cooking fire or gas burner. You may also place them on a baking sheet or cast-iron pan inside an oven with a broiler setting.

2. Turn the gas burner on medium-high, or the broiler on low. Heat the sweet potatoes, occasionally rotating them, until their skin is blistered and blackened in multiple places and they are tender all the way through.

3. Remove potatoes and allow them to cool slightly. Slice each potato open lengthwise, or peel away its skin, and eat the interior.

Roasted sweet potatoes may be eaten on their own, or sprinkled with sugar or cinnamon-sugar, or drizzled with date syrup, tahina, chocolate sauce, etc.

[taisoleil]

Saturn and Ancestors through the Houses

First off, Saturn is an elder. It brings upon lessons, but did you know that those blockages are actually coming from some things your ancestors already experienced? This is the “been there, done that” planet that already knows the pain you’re going through? Why so? Because pain and trauma, which is Saturnian in nature, is carried this way. To understand this we must understand what is a natal chart in the first place.

I got this piece inspiration awhile back from someone on tumblr talking about how our chart are how our parent felt about our birth and what they were experiencing. This information helps us understand not only ourselves, but them. So, why can’t we understand our ancestors through this very system? Saturn is also ruled by time where with wisdom, should come time.

Timelines aren’t as straightforward as you may think. This is why Saturn does so well in the 12H is because of the ability to understand how much time (Saturn) can be an illusion (12H). This is also why your past, current, and future life are all happening at the same time, and why you are your ancestors, and how they live within you. When you reminisce about trauma from the past it’s as if you’re living it in your present moment because of that timelines overlapping.

Saturn really deals with the ancestral trauma and generational curses we all deal with. This may not be something you’ve felt from family, but something you may even be carrying with you due to your lineage. There’s a lot of people in your bloodline, so you never know what you’re carrying until you ask or check in with yourself. More than likely, your family members have been through the same thing.

This post is archived on my site here: https://www.taisoleil.com/articles/2021/6/11/d9mj0oemzek40itx9fonl3cdtblpnw

Full interpretations are exclusively on my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/87216320?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

Saturn 1H: One may have felt like they weren’t good enough when it comes to family. A generational issue you may be dealing with is linked with the insecurity of not being enough.

Saturn 2H: Feeling financially held back and traumatized is something you may experience when it comes to your family. You may have an issue with trauma bonding when it comes to money because of the fear of losing it all.

Saturn 3H: Feeling like your ideas were never enough probably caused you to second guess your own abilities. Being able to learn and refine your ideas based on how life shifts is how you evolve. The slightest bit of disappointment shouldn’t shake that.

Saturn 4H: Not being able to have you to yourself may have been a problem. Being forced to grow up early to deal with adult life before you were even ready was probably a thing as well. This is a situation where you had higher standards projected on you than other people.

Saturn 5H: FUN??? In your household??? Probably not! You probably were told to pursue something more serious and steady, possibly stripping you or your own creativity. It probably is hard for you to get out of black and white thinking because you were told if it doesn’t make sense, it cannot possibly be valuable.

Saturn 6H: Speaking of work, aren’t y’all tired of doing that? Having to prove yourself based on how much you do isn’t doing much for you at all. You may have come from a family that is used to breaking their backs to maintain something only to get caught in a rat race they can’t get themselves out of.

Saturn 7H: Learning how to keep the right bonds may be important for you. As with anything in life, some bonds aren’t worth the energy based on the time we spend with people. Giving that many people that sort of lenience is a disservice to yourself.

Saturn 8H: Spending habits are going to be key from you. You may have been a family that was scared that you would miss out on something if you didn’t spend. The contrary to this is that even though money may have not been lost, in your day and age, every penny counts, and you weren’t taught frugality during an economic time where money was more available.

Saturn 9H: Don’t be afraid of new experiences. You may came from a family that didn’t do much. Didn’t venture out or try new things. Because of this, you may stay in your bubble or level of comfort zone that allows you the safety. The Sun finds joy in the 9H, and it can be an ego killer to find out you’ve been wrong about certain things.

Saturn 10H: High expectations can cause you to fold under pressure if you’re not careful. You may have come from a family that was expected of you to do everything even if that means forsaking what seemed to be unimportant.

Saturn 11H: Friendship and aspirations may be hard for you. Your family may have had terrible community/support/friends. People bringing you down is only going to regress your further if you’re not careful.

Saturn 12H: Your Saturn is in joy here. You may understand how to go about things better than others. Your ancestors may have figured it all out, and gave you the keys. Moving through your life, don’t doubt what you know. Instead, think more about what you can do with what you’ve learned.

[accio-victuuri]

their ordinary life. 🏠

i am referencing this post which was allegedly shared in 2021. i like how it’s written and the cpn clues inserted, then making a whole story out of it. a reason why most of us love lrg and other rumor anecdotes is because it’s simple and shows what their day to day life is like. tho they are celebrities with extraordinarily busy lives, the thought of them just being zz and bobo is comforting and sweet. it may be confusing cause there are parts where they are both referenced as they. and then it will switch to “i” as if in the person’s first person pov.

all of this is fake & fanfiction…

they should have a cat and a dog. everyone knows the cat's name is Tao, the dog’s name also matches the cat very well, it’s called Lizi. it’s a puppy ZZ bought it on impulse, but in the end I had to give it to my mother in Chongqing to deal with the aftermath. they have a home in Beijing, with a room full of helmets and musical instruments. there is also a room equipped with a projector, with warm and artistic decoration. when the two people are tired, they can lie here and watch movies together. there is also a big LCD TV, two people playing games to decide the outcome and doing housework.

the kitchen should be well-equipped, but the storage of materials is not alot, both of them are busy and have little time to cook, but there should be someone that makes trouble while the other person is cooking, and the other person will teach. when that person was making hand cakes, he had a headache several times and wanted to curse.

the room they sleep in, well, the bedding must be of high quality, it must be very comfortable and considerate for two people who both have the habit of sleeping naked. someone should install a night light in the toilet so that people who are afraid of the dark can get up in the middle of the night. there will be lights as soon as the toilet is near. there should be a lot of things on the bedside, eye drops, stomach-protecting tablets, Ryukakusan, cough cough... In short, both of them takes good care of your body! there will be a light fragrance in the room. they are all people who love cleanliness, maybe it’s also due to the scented candles.

there is a huge closet, which could have been used as a styling area in the beginning. one will often buy several pieces at a time and wrap them up. the other will also complain that one person loves shopping so much that he is not frugal and knows how to organize his clothes regularly. it was painful to pick out an old model to wear, and taught another person: "See, this is okay. As for clothes, save money and don’t buy so much. You still have a mortgage. ” another smiled and didn’t say anything. clothes that smell like them over time are familiar and reassuring, as if they are by each other’s side. In this way, they give each other company. Sometimes the trip is too urgent and I don’t pay much attention. both people will pack the wrong clothes into their suitcases. there should also be a small gym, where two actors and teachers can work hard. One person is envious of another's eight-pack abs, and the other possesses someone's waist (don't ask me why I know it's possible because I am a barbell. )

both of them have been doing more and more endorsements, and they have a lot of products at home. when the two brothers are in a good mood, they take one out and play with it, jokingly calling it "opening a blind box." most of the time, they kept sending them to my family, and the family group was noisy.

the two of them still can't stay at home most of the time and are always on the road. yes, headphones are a common item. why? because they are used for making phone calls and watching videos and to chat online. I took out my mobile phone to complain after getting off work. i quickly called to tell him that I miss you. people’s true emotions finally have a safe and secure place. how good is this, just wanting someone who can always listen to me in my life. you act coquettishly. you can complain and cry.

i also surfed the Internet, but I just browsed casually, after all, it was all the same rainbow fart, I want to take some time to listen to that person blowing it to me. sometimes it’s annoying to see fans quarreling. i used my account number to tell them to stop arguing, but it didn’t work. just switch to my other account and fight bravely with heizi ( antis ) and lose. until the account was suspended and blocked, then I took screenshots and felt aggrieved. he said, "Baby, look at me, I've lost another number by helping you.". The other person was amused, and he was no longer troubled by the remarks.

the other side is also keen on surfing and secretly saves a lot of emoticons, all of which are like pigs. regarding this, after I sent it, I laughed so hard that I hit the table and couldn’t stop having fun. hey, of course you can hear the voice of someone screaming on the phone: "Why does it have to be a pig?" "I'm a leopard! Not a pig! You What a stinky rabbit!”

they will take care of eating, taking medicine, drinking water, and taking care of each other when they are sick. they will take good care of each other and care for each other. if you are disobedient, it will be known immediately, and you will be punished, and then you will obey because I want to live a long with the other person. if possible, I hope it will be the same in my next life.

he will also get jealous, lose his temper and act awkward. Alas, as an actor, he is still in the entertainment industry. what can I do? Buy gifts, buy food, make phone calls. if you want to talk, send WeChat, and send some updates and stuck points that fans can’t understand.

In the end, I still couldn't coax him, so I could only study how to fight authentically and run to see the other party. the time is very short, and you may only be able to stay in the car, room, or corner. i left after an hour or two, my temper was gone, and I kept looking at the other person. laugh, give a hug, hold hands for a walk, kiss, and talk for a long time. if it's been a long time, your eyes will inevitably turn red when you separate.

“Every time it’s so short, it’s hard to be separated, and I won’t be able to come next time.

“But I miss you.

"...I know, I'll come see you next time."

knowing that there will be an event for two people on the same stage will make them excited for a long time, and they will fall in love at public expense. love, doesn’t it feel good?

no matter what, they won’t understand the meaning of it anyway. meet backstage, eat a meal together, take ugly photos of each other while doing makeup, and fight. let’s sit together and look at our phones and chat about the current situation. the two people at the back looked right at each other when Fang doesn't speak, the staff will consciously go out and leave them alone.

think hard. I miss you even when I walk. I miss you when I sit. kiss the necklace that you bought for me, look at the blue sky and white clouds, draw a picture, then take the archeology test, and look at the other party’s dark history, snap screenshots and make emoticons and throw them over. it’s the happiness that only artists can have when they fall in love, don’t you understand~

regarding the public, the feeling of being watched by millions of people cheering and blessing that summer it’s really good. surrounded by love from all over the world, you will feel that there is nothing better than our happy couple. maybe, one day, wait for the rainbow to come. On that day, I am Lao Wang and he was Lao Xiao. We walked in front of everyone. before, he drew a story about us, told by me since I was 21 years old.

[genericpuff]

Hi! Maybe this is a difficult question with no answer, but as a fan of Rekindled who might want to start their own comic, what do you suggest to avoid burnout? Do you start wiht writting the script right away, you doodle a bit,..? Thanks for reading, I love how you draw big noses, makes me more comfy with mine!

no fr my dark secret is that i've been experiencing burnout with my main original project that I've spent the last decade working on for literally a year now. this isn't the first long hiatus i've taken, the longest one i've ever been on has lasted two years, and it's undoubtedly not the last i'll experience because the lump of salt and fat and tissue that is my brain often overworks itself into exhaustion like a big dummy

rekindled has been my reprieve from the burnout. it has been my vacation from years of working on the same project, meeting the same deadlines, drawing the same characters, over and over and over again since before i was in college.

if there's anything working on rekindled has made clear to me, it's that i'm still capable of drawing comics. the comic-making isn't the problem. it's just that when you work on the same project for years and trap yourself in an uphill battle, eventually your climbing gear is bound to break.

if there's another thing that rekindled has opened my eyes to, it's the insanity that i put myself through prior to rekindled that led to my burnout in the first place.

i get people telling me that they couldn't imagine doing what i do, that even before i had my assistant helping me out, i was still able to put out 30-40 panel updates every week.

but before that, i was putting out 70-90 panel episodes of my original work. every week. full color. full spread action scenes. no assistant. very little financial gain aside from a couple patrons on patreon and one dedicated viewer on twitch, which i was also streaming on 2-3 times a week.

and now that i've been working on rekindled and even finding myself often crunched for time with that, i have zero clue, no idea, a complete lack of comprehension of how i pulled off 70-90 panels a week for months on end. there's a reason it resulted in burnout and i know that now. this comparison is not for the sake of a flex - this comparison is to make it clear that much of what i do isn't the norm and isn't exactly a healthy standard. case in point, i sneezed while sweeping up yesterday morning and it caused a muscle strain in my lower back/hips and i've been working out of my bed since, i'm in a lot of pain and it might mean i don't make any money this week if it's not better by the time i have to do my appointments at my day job on thursday. my need to create my personal passion projects is often at odds with my bad habits of not taking care of myself 。゜゜(´Ｏ`) ゜゜。

when it comes to tackling burnout, your guess is as good as mine. really it just comes down to rest. when burnout - real, true burnout - hits, it's not just "man i'm bored of working on this", it's "i can't even think of looking at this thing let alone working on it", it's basically akin to depression and it's an awful thing that i wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy (even with Rachel, I don't want to psychoanalyze her mental health but it does seem like she's possibly been experiencing burnout with LO for years now and that really sucks for her if that's true). so the solution is just as complicated as the cause, it's not something that you can just rest from for a week and come back from, it takes real long-term healing.

when I found my way out of that 2 year hiatus, it was in spring of 2019 and I decided to just work on a random comic page that wasn't even in the comic I was working on. and then suddenly it was like a switch flicked back into the on position and i didn't even finish what i was working on, i just went back to my original project and i kept working on it until it was finally finished at the end of 2021. as suddenly and randomly as it had set in, it was gone. but i can't just do the same thing this time, it just doesn't work that way.

that said, through all this, i've learned that my need to create is not restricted to any one tangible thing, i'm not doomed or designed to stick with the same words, the same faces, the same ideas until the end of time. while i do try to keep up healthy routines for myself to ensure i'm looking out for my future self and their deadlines and their upload schedules, sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants. and in my case, the heart wanted to take a break from the self-reflective psychological analysis dark fantasy weebo stuff and just draw some pink and blue characters a little less ugly. the self-reflective weebo shit will still be there when i'm done with the pink and blue stuff, and i'll surely have loads of new things to unpack through it once i return.

there are still times when i'm working on rekindled and i'm feeling the creeping hand of my routine destruction digging its claws into my back. the reality is that 30-40 panels is still a lot for someone like myself who's doing this entirely for free, but my definition of normal for a while was so insanely inhumane that even what's still considered a lot by most people's standards feels sane and normal to me after what i put myself through.

i've learned to be more gentle with myself, and to loosen my own expectations of what i'm capable of to ensure i don't do anything like that to myself, by myself, again. i give myself room to create without expectations or the pressure of eyes watching when i can, and i remind myself that even if burnout rears its head again, and again, and again, the will to create is not gone. it's just tired, and resting, and growing, and healing as i am.

anyways that turned into a self-reflective essay post, to answer your question about making stuff ahead of time, i find that's more helpful with just like, planning out a structured story (so you don't write yourself into a corner) but whether or not it helps with burnout kind of depends. because it can just as also easily be the cause of the problem because constantly seeing the stuff you wanna be drawing so far away can be just as much of a morale killer as a motivator. some of the stuff i'm super psyched to write and draw with time gate is years away and that timeline grows longer the more the burnout goes on which makes the struggle feel even more overwhelming and pointless and defeating. so plan ahead, but keep it all within your means if you can. i find what works for me is planning out just general beat-to-beat plot structures (to ensure i at least have a plot skeleton going on so i know where i'm going) then i leave the finer details to when the actual episode i've planned gets closer to fruition and i can get myself in the headspace to write it fully.

also remember that just because you're really excited and motivated to work on your comic doesn't mean you should work yourself into exhaustion - it's a good thing if you're going through the mundane of your daily routine and the whole time you're hyped af to work on your hobby/personal project/etc. because that's what will keep you moving forward, so don't spend all that hype in one place by working and working and working until you're exhausted, because that hype is REALLY hard to get back after you've spent it all.

long post over! hope that helps! best of luck in your projects! ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Sophie Hurwitz at Mother Jones:

In the most expensive primary in the history of the United States House of Representatives, Rep. Jamaal Bowman (D-N.Y.), a prominent progressive in Congress, lost to George Latimer, a moderate who well-known Democrats had backed in the final weeks of the race.    The center of the campaign was Bowman’s relatively outspoken stance on Israel’s war on Gaza. In mid-October of 2023, Bowman became one of the first members of Congress to publicly support a ceasefire. Soon after, Latimer, a suburban moderate—with a habit of posting on Facebook—entered the race, and pitched himself to more conservative Democratic-party voters. He was backed aggressively by pro-Israel groups.

AdImpact, an organization tracking political campaign spending, reported earlier this week that nearly $25 million was spent in this race. 61 percent of that money—nearly $15 million—came from a PAC affiliated with the American Israel Public Affairs Committee called the United Democracy Project. UDP spent most of the money on ads attacking Bowman. Bowman’s position on the US’s alliance with Israel changed after a November 2021 trip organized by the advocacy organization J Street that took him to the West Bank city of Hebron. Bowman—a former middle-school principal—was particularly affected by his interaction with a group of Palestinian schoolchildren. “There are streets they cannot walk and places they cannot go, simply because they are Palestinian,” he wrote on Instagram at the time. “When I asked about their dreams, their answer was simple: freedom. The occupation must end.” He went on to co-sponsor a resolution with Rep. Rashida Tlaib (D-Mich.) that would recognize the Nakba. Now, eight months into Israel’s unrelenting war on Gaza, more children have been killed than in the previous four years of global conflict.

Latimer entered the race in early December, presenting himself as a centrist candidate. He said he would, for example, support Biden’s efforts towards a temporary “humanitarian pause,” but would not support Bowman’s “unconditional ceasefire.” Bowman has consistently called the killing of over 37,400 Gazans and the starvation of over a million a genocide. Latimer instead states on his website that he believes in Israel’s right to self-defense and is an advocate for a “two-state solution.”

A major win for AIPAC and a big loss for the left, as George Latimer knocks Rep. Jamaal Bowman (D-NY) out of Congress in the #NY16 Democratic Primary. #NYPrimary

See Also:

HuffPost: Rep. Jamaal Bowman, Progressive Israel Critic, Loses Reelection Bid

[aesethewitch]

When I got covid for the first time in 2021, just as I was feeling better, I felt kind of strange. I opened up one of the candles I'd gotten for Christmas (because it was fuckin Christmas, and I had covid) in hopes of lifting my spirits. It was a really strong cranberry scent, sure to fill my apartment. And it... smelled like nothing. Nothing at all.

I've since regained my sense of smell, thank goodness, but it was gone for over a week. I picked up the habit of smelling the candle every day, feeling a little more hopeful every time I could catch a whiff as the sense came back.

So now, I associate this particular candle and all cranberry-adjacent scents with detecting and warding off illness and bad fortune. Which is why that candle going on my spirit work altar from now til the Equinox, right next to my Wire Tree and money bowl.

I suppose my point is, personal experiences absolutely shape how correspondences can be more or less powerful and relevant for different practitioners. Before covid, I wouldn't have used cranberry at all; now, it's a staple of luck and health for me.

[thatastrologychick1111]

Y’all ready for this last Taurus/Scorpio axis ECLIPSE?

On the 28th we’re having a partial lunar eclipse in Taurus at 5 degrees. It’s going to be most felt by fixed and cardinal signs anywhere between 25* cardinals - 15* fixed.

If you are a Leo, Taurus, Scorpio or Aquarius rising your foundations are changing. Money, safety through feeling stable through having your basic needs met, debt, living situations, what you value in life has been changing since the end of 2021. If you have been working towards your goals, you may be getting hugely rewarded with property, owning something, getting out of debt, finding and honing your purpose ! Real estate is a major topic of discussion (for these particular rising signs).

Eclipses can bring pressure. You may feel like you “need” to do something “now”! Taurus is about patience, perseverance, stability, waiting it out/sleeping on it before acting.

A story that was created back in November 2021 is coming to a close.

A new story has begun October 2023.

Aries rising - this eclipse is happening in your 2H. Self worth, self preservation, money, material goods, how you earn money is shifting.

Taurus rising - this is happening in your 1st house. You’ve been under major renovation the past 2 years. Everything has changed or just you!

Gemini rising - this is happening in your 12H. Dreams, escapism, spiritual well being, the unconscious mind is shifting.

Cancer rising - this is happening in the 11H. Groups, social status, social power, social long distance interactions are shifting.

Leo rising - this is happening in your 10H. Career, success, dreams of who you want to become, traditions and family is shifting.

Virgo rising - this is happening in your 9H. Belief systems, over seas travel, ideologies, publishing, spiritual matters, morals are shifting.

Libra rising- this is happening in your 8H. Hidden truths, intimacy, loss or gains of inheritance, taboo’s are shifting.

Scorpio rising - this is happening in your 7H. Partnerships, contract, social agreements, marriage and business are shifting.

Sagittarius rising - this is happening in your 6H. Plans, daily habits/routines, overall health, mentors and pets are shifting.

Capricorn rising - this is happening in your 5H. Self expression, children, love affairs, creative endeavors are shifting.

Aquarius rising- this is happening in your 4H. Home, mother, safety, our own mothering, essential security is shifting.

Pisces rising - this is happening in your 3H. Neighbors/neighbor hood, siblings, family, communication, learning in some capacity, vehicles, ways of travel is shifting.

[dasha-aibo]

So hey, I heard people wanted to hear about my weight loss progress, so I'll be posting it here again.

I've fallen off the track HARD. I had a lot of problems with money and my alcoholism already in late 2021, then the war started and it's all been downhill for a while.

By September 2022 I weighed around 180 kg. That's 396 lbs, for you Americans. Shit was BAD and alcohol didn't help. I felt myself struggle walking up the stairs, which made me even more depressed and I wanted to just eat and drink my problems away.

Then Putin decreed a full mobilization and me and my bf fled to Belarus.

This is me on the first day there, still around 180kg/396lbs. Hard to say how fat I was exactly, because I didn't have the scales for a couple of weeks after moving in.

That was in the last few days of September. More than a year passed since then and a lot of things changed. My boyfriend proved to be just what I needed to motivate me to lose weight, as he both prevented me from drinking alcohol and helped me kick the habit, as well as watched over what I eat and forced me to go outside more.

Buuuuut... There was also a lot of stress and a life-changing move to Germany. The changes were evident - I barely fit in the bus seat on our way to Belarus and arrived there all crinkled and messed up, barely able to walk. But the much longer trip to Dusseldorf went way smoother.

Still, I struggled to lose actual numbers on the scale. While we started walking even more, I was putting way too much food into the furnace, because everything in Germany is so goddamn tasty. Which is why in over a year I've lost only 40 kg / a little under 90 lbs.

This is me yesterday at 141.8 kg / 312.6 lbs

Whle the progress is evident, it's far from as quick as I would like it to be. Which lead me to starting to take the journey more seriously and count the calories using loseit again. Let's see if I can stick the landing this time.

[scrollsnsketchbooks]

Blue Journal

Etsy | Commissions | Ko-Fi | Discord

One of my first commissions that I'm still very happy with. I was given ‘artist’s choice’ for cover materials, and honestly, I love how it turned out!

This one was made with 80gsm sketch paper instead of my usual 50gsm as the person it was intended for is primarily a marker artist and both I and the gifter were concerned about ink bleeding through, but from what I'm told, it's held up pretty well. The recipient decided to use it as a daily journal/habit tracker hybrid.

[Originally posted on April 3, 2021]

Also please check out my Ko-Fi and, if you can, maybe toss a few bucks my way? I'm working hard to put money away to finally get a place of my own and build a proper studio, but help is certainly appreciated!

[dearly-somber]

songfics

t o t a l . w o r d c o u n t. 19,403

« navigation. »

a r c h i v e.

r a t i n g s. 13+, 16+, 18+

c r e d i t. @firefly-graphics

2020

Golden Love | h.js | skz

Don’t Wanna Cry | l.ch | svt

Play Me Like A Violion | k.yh | day6

Watermelon Sugar | h.js | skz

9 And Three Quarters (Run Away) | txt

I’m Serious | k.yh | day6

deathbed (coffee for your head) | h.js | skz

Cat & Dog | txt

I Know I’m A Wolf | k.yh | day6

Fly Me To The Moon | k.yh | day6

Falling | j.hs | bts

Into the I-LAND | j.hs | bts

the other girl | h.hj | skz

All Alone | k.yh | day6

I’m Yours | k.yh | day6

you broke me first | k.is | sf9

Mean It | k.yb | sf9

Help Me Lose My Mind | h.js | skz

Rain Dance | h.js | skz

Crush | l.mh | skz

SLUMP (English Version) | h.js | skz

2021

2 Soon | l.ch | svt

Let Me In (20 CUBE) | p.sh | enha

Viva La Vida | k.yh | day6

Heartbeat | k.yh | day6

WAYO (songfic mini-series) | treasure

5 In The Morning | l.ch | svt

Please Never Fall In Love Again | h.js | skz

Wings | k.sw | tbz

Guiding Light | y.jw | enha

The Middle | p.sh | enha

Dirty Mind | k.sw | tbz

Lunchbox Friends | l.hs | enha

Please Never Fall In Love Again | j.jk | bts

Tidal Wave | j.jk | bts

Decalcomania | j.jk | bts

Why | j.jk | bts

Golden Dandelions | k.th | bts

Leave Before You Love Me | p.jm | bts

SAD GIRLZ LUV MONEY | j.jk | bts

Blue Side (Outro) | j.hs | bts

Sparks | j.jk | bts

better off | k.nj | bts

Anchor | k.th | bts

drunk | j.jk | bts

2022

Astronomy | j.jk | bts

Problémon | j.hs | bts

hostage | bts

Lo Vas A Olvidar | p.jm | bts

Jenny (I Wanna Ruin Our Friendship) | j.jk | bts

Night Swim | j.jk | bts

Daddy Issues | j.jk | bts

AURORA | ateez

come out and play | j.jk | bts

Euphoria (DJ Swivel Mix) | j.jk | bts

Wildfire | j.jk | bts

Like Real People Do | j.jk | bts

Airplane Mode | j.jk | bts

Heaven’s Cloud | l.ch | svt

Wicked Game | l.ch | svt

The A Team | l.ch | svt

Cold War | j.jk | bts

Valley of Lies | txt

8 | j.jk | bts

Speed of Light | a.g

We’ll Never Have Sex | a.g

Love It If We Made It | a.g

Little Lion Man | j.jk | bts

Bittersweet | k.sj | bts

Forever | j.jk | bts

Bathroom Bitch | j.jk | bts

2023

Habits | m.yg & j.jk | bts

Dog Teeth | k.th | bts

Something For Your M.I.N.D | j.jk | bts

WILD | j.jk | bts

Come Inside of My Heart | j.hs | bts

Tally | k.nj | bts

Mejuffrou Sonneblom | j.hs | bts

Poetic Vulgarity | k.nj | bts

Dumped | m.yg | bts

Lost In Japan | j.hs | bts

Humankind | k.sj | bts

VOID | p.jm | bts

Letter | p.jm | bts

The News | j.jk | bts

Scrawny | j.jk | bts

Pools | k.th | bts

for him | k.sj | bts

Face Down | j.jk | bts

Deploy | k.th | bts

21 | j.jk | bts

Hope | p.jm | bts

Mix Tape | k.nj | bts

Strawberry Skies | p.jm | bts

Tangerine | k.th | bts

Hoodie | p.jm | bts

Pretending | h.js | skz

Moon | p.jm | bts

Anti-Curse | k.nj | bts

Fahrradsattel | j.jk | bts

It’s Only Sex | p.jm | bts

Lovers Rock | j.jk | bts

Miserable (You & Me) | h.js | skz

Fireflies | h.js | skz

Grayson | h.js | skz

Hey Lover | h.js | skz

Sweet Disposition | h.js | skz

Sorry, I Love You | h.js | skz

touch tank | b.ch | skz

Backyard Boy | h.js | skz

Fast Car | b.ch | skz

Creep | h.js | skz

Dream Sweet in Sea Major | h.js | skz

Agnes | l.mh | skz

The Color Violet | h.js | skz

Without Me | h.js | skz

All I Want | j.jk | bts

Wrong Time | h.js | skz

2024

.

[luviestarz]

txt 𓇼

lonely hearts - txt ot5

tomorrow x together is just a local band hoping to make it big. you’re just a lonely barista who runs a radio show for said band, earning the title as their biggest fan. lonely hearts is just a sketchy match-making website looking to scam people out of their money… or is it?

juunnies masterlist (txt)

wooyukh masterlist (txt,nct)

yeostars masterlist (txt)

beomglocks masterlist (txt)

lattegyu masterlist (nct, txt, enhypen)

txt - another member likes their girlfriend

txt seeing you in a bikini for the first time!

TXT REACTION — posts with all of the members included, listed below by title.

sunghun masterlist (enhypen, txt)

koishua masterlist (nct, txt, enhypen)

beomiesz masterlist (txt)

flwrkisses masterlist (txt,bts)

hykai masterlist (enhypen, txt)

chaerypop masterlist (txt)

cursedsunoo masterlist (enhypen, txt)

tyundere masterlist (enhypen, nct, txt)

nyangjjunie masterlist (txt)

enluv masterlist (enhypen, txt)

iyeonjuni masterlist (enhypen, txt)

boba-beom masterlist (txt)

moonandsunwoo masterlist (txt)

planetdream masterlist (txt)

;- ꒰ °habits they developed in your relationship ꒱

⤷ lovesick boys who can't help but fall deeper in love with you

txt for the 'how they give you the partner privilege'

tyunni masterlist (txt)

jakekgs masterlist (txt)

♡ — TXT ACCIDENTALLY CONFESSING TO THEIR CRUSH !

bbhyeoliskook masterlist 2020 2021 2022

TXT TAKING CARE OF YOU WHEN YOU’RE SICK

reactions to you calling him by another member’s name [txt]

reactions to when their s/o backhugs them [txt]

beomglocks' prompt masterlist (txt)

stay alive // yeonjun

yeonjun and gn!reader are targets for their powers and they’re running out of solutions. all yeonjun wants is for y/n to stay alive, yet everything always comes with a price and secrets always come out.

first dates with txt

[ ᴄ.ʏᴊ ] | 𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗰𝘂𝗼𝘂𝘀

yeonjun wants you, but all you can see is how tired he is

poutybinz masterlist (txt)

Professional Pleasure (M) - yeonjun

The adult entertainment industry has its pros and cons, often being paired with partners you have relatively no chemistry with and having to fake the most pleasurable experience a woman can have just to secure your rent money for the month. Hopefully your luck would turn around one day.

first love — series masterlist (soobin)

3raaaachachacha masterlist (nct,txt,enhypen)

you call them your friend when you're dating with all of txt

jeontaeil masterlist (txt)

“thank you for the flowers!”

you thank them for a bouquet of flowers, assuming it’s from them..turns out, it’s not.

soobin with his chain dangling in your face !

perv!tomorrow x together

[txt] you being the 6th female member !

♡ — KISSES ! | TXT

their favorite place to kiss you

stranger things beomgyu x fem!reader

jealousy, jealousy - soobin

soobin isn’t one to get jealous easily. Or, at least express it openly. But there’s only so much one can hold back before it just erupts.

02:53 AM (choi soobin) - nsfw

blowjob - beomgyu

oblivious; csb

dom!soobin x sub afab!reader

gamer beomgyu with a discord server

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ txt waking up without you the morning after

( 8:55PM ) looking at you makes choi beomgyu feel stupid.

a night to remember — choi beomgyu

beomgyu takes you out on a lovely date to his old workplace and after hours of having fun, neither of you are quite satisfied. too impatient to wait till you get back home, or to his car in the least, you don’t think twice before getting down and dirty right then and there. at the end of the day, how many people can proudly admit that they’ve fucked in a trampoline park? 

csbinnie masterlist (txt)

the only exception ♡ beomgyu

you were not the type to believe in the existence of love. until you had to spend the rest of your summer with a distant relative whom you’ve never met your entire life, in small town with an ocean view, where fate had brought you a boy whose eyes shine brighter than any stars in the night sky. and maybe, just maybe, love does exist.

jungwnies masterlist (txt, bts, enhypen)

iichaeyj masterlist (txt, enhypen)

[10:23 p.m] - soobin

GAMER BF !!! - yeonjun, beomgyu

yn had a small book & school related youtube channel. she is introverted and doesn't have many friends. suddenly one day she gets a message from an unknown number who ends up being youtuber!yeonjun who owns a gaming youtube channel, asking if she can help him study for his upcoming psychology exam.

[psychiclounge]

since it'll probably take me forever to get around to actually picking out my top recommendations and listing them out the way i want, here's a list of my top rated and otherwise most beloved/memorable fms, in no particular order

thief gold: ascend the dim valley endless rain rose garden the scarlet cascabel the black parade catacombs of knoss (2021 remaster) alcazar making a profit the sound of a burrick in a room whispers below the cobblestone between these dark walls dirty money falling, in love autumn in lampfire hills chalice of souls

thief 2: compulsory egress into the odd bad debts & disorientation the violent end of duncan malveine the ties that bind (the first fm i recall playing) ominous bequest & broken triad rose cottage behind closed doors the turning of the leaves king abedzen's tomb legacy of knoss (sequel to catacombs of knoss) feast of pilgrims these unfortunate ones old habits and dead wives vanishing point all for a night's sleep the last lighthouse keeper bloodmist tower cracks in the glass finals at the academy heist at hilbert's highrise hotel the sun within and the sun without malazar's inscrutable tower ravensreach coaxing the spirit keyhunt

it's also worth looking at thiefguild to find missions sorted by type, author, year, etc- i didn't feel like linking all of these but you can just search up the name and find download links on the page. there's even user-made collections that i recommend, esp for things like getting into earlier/classic fms that i'm really not hitting on in my list here. here's a ttlg thread on how to set up both games for playing fms, i don't use any fancy loaders, fmsel will be what you get by default, it works perfect and is all you need. ttlg is also good for fm hints/walkthroughs and thief discussion in general, have fun tee hee