#missing them already :( hope they get another series together soon-ish

[bevioletskies]

gemini & fourth + favorite videos (in no particular order) ↳ behind-the-scenes of my love mix-up! (episode twelve)

[e-dubbc11]

Happy Winter Sleepover! ❄️

What about Little Anna & some Winter fun!?!

“Tracking down your mittens, hats, scarves, heavy socks before heading into the cold”

“going sledding together and ending up in the snow”

& “Unexpected snowball fight” bc of course Frank needs a reason to “help” Anna win of course 😂

Hellllloooooo my lovely!! I’m really trying to keep these on the shorter side but I can’t seem to do that but more Anna Raven is never a bad thing so I hope you like this one. (More Irreplaceable is coming too) Thank you for sending this one in, I do love writing for this family ♥️

Snow Day

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.

Pairing: Tattoo Artist Billy Russo x F! Reader; supporting character(s) Frank Castle

Warnings: All the fluff

Word Count: 1.9K-ish

Summary: Pretty self explanatory but Anna is VERY excited for her first snow day and excited she gets to play with Mom, Dad, and Uncle Frank.

Part of The Sweetest Pain Series

As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕

“It’s snowing, Mommy!!” She squealed with excitement.

Anna Raven pointed her chubby little finger toward the full length windows as she stood next to you while large flakes of snow floated past your faces, some of them kissing the glass on the way down. It was falling like confetti from the silver clouds up above and she had the look of pure joy on her face.

“Yes it is, baby girl! And we’re supposed to get a lot of snow later so maybe tomorrow we can go to the park and play. Does that sound like fun?” You asked.

Anna was clapping her hands and jumping up and down; she was so excited.

“Can Daddy play too?” She asked.

Bending down to her level, you looked into her big brown eyes that were just like her father’s and with a warm smile, replied “I’m sure Daddy would love to play in the snow with us. I just hope he makes it home later because it’s starting to fall faster.”

The city down below was slowly turning into a clean blanket of white. It was always very peaceful watching the snow fall down onto the hectic streets underneath from inside your warm apartment.

The naked tree branches were frozen and snow was starting to pile up which cast twisted and knotted shadows on the ground. Frost patterns that had started to form on the windows shined as the soft warm light from inside your home lightly touched them revealing their unique patterns.

“Pretty…” Said Little Raven as she gently touched the glass with her finger, pointing at the snowflakes that were stuck to the window.

This snowstorm was reminiscent of the day Anna was born. The snow was light but it came down hard and fast; you almost didn’t make it to the hospital in time for her arrival and Billy also came dangerously close to missing his daughter being born.

Now, almost four years later, you looked down at the beautiful little girl you and Billy had brought into the world and could not wait to play with her outside on her very first snow day.

Now if you could only remember where you put all of your winter outerwear…

After only a couple of hours of worrying, Billy did make it home that night. It was late and Little Raven had already gone to sleep but he did make it home safe. His flushed frozen cheeks didn’t stop him from flashing that perfect smile at you as soon as he walked through the door.

All he wanted to do was hold you, shower, and go to bed but not before peeking in on Anna to watch her sleep for a few minutes. His client had been difficult and exhausting.

When Billy suggested he finish the tattoo another time on account of the snow, his client became testy and complained how long he had to wait the first time for an appointment. He didn’t want to wait for another one so Billy stayed to finish it and he was completely out of gas by the time he arrived home.

Another wide smile stretched across his face when you told him how excited Anna was to play in the snow tomorrow. You were excited for Billy too; this was the kind of thing that he never got to experience when he was a child but he is able to now with his own family.

Before falling asleep, Billy whispered “Oh…Frankie said they’ll be over in the morning. They already canceled school so we’re all gonna have a snow day. Sound good, sweet girl?”

“That sounds perfect, handsome.” You said.

The Next Morning

You felt like your head barely hit the pillow before you heard little feet hit the floor. Anna ran to the living room to look out the window before she came charging into your bedroom.

“Mommy! Look at all the snow!! Wake up, Daddy!” She yelled, pulling on Billy’s arm.

“Alright, little miss. We’re awake.” Billy said, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and letting out an extended yawn.

“I gotta go potty.” Don’t go play without me.” Said Anna.

The two of you chuckled.

Billy gazed at you, his eyes shined like two pieces of onyx as he inched closer to give you a kiss. His long agile fingers danced up and down your arm that was sleeved as he said, “You have really nice tattoos. Your artist is really talented.”

You felt warmth rise to your cheeks and a smile stretched across your lips. “Are you flirting with me, Mr. Russo?” You asked.

“Maybe.” Said Billy, with a devilish smile on his face.

“Well you can flirt with me later, I’m sure Frank will be here soon.” You said.

Billy tossed the blanket off of his body. “You’re starting to know Frankie the way I know Frankie. And I’m pretty sure you’re right. We better get up but first I’m gonna give you one more kiss.”

As soon as Billy’s lips touched yours, you heard three loud raps at your door.

“Rise and shine, Russo’s! Let’s go!” Frank boomed from behind the front door.

You helped Little Raven in the bathroom before she ran out into the living room.

“Uncle Frankie!!!” Anna screamed. “You see all the snow!”

Frank picked her up and placed her on his hip. “I did, Little Raven. Go with Mommy and get dressed so we can go play. I’ll try and wake your dad up with some coffee.” Frank said, as Billy emerged from the bedroom, his raven colored hair was all over the place.

“I had to hunt for it but I found all the winter stuff; I’m gonna go get her ready. Time to get dressed, lieutenant.” You said. The bristles of his beard tickled your lips as you kissed him on the cheek.

“Roger that.” Billy replied, lightly smacking your ass as you walked past him.

It was still snowing a little when you arrived at the park. The air was cold; it made your breath visible as you all walked to find a decent hill to sled down. The sound of the snow beneath your feet made a slight crunching sound. Peeking out from behind the clouds, the sun shone down onto the snow covered surfaces making everything appear brighter.

It was beautiful.

Listening to Junior and Lisa laugh as they pulled Anna around on one of the sleds was music to your ears and you watched as Billy and Frank go from what you thought would be an innocent snowball toss to a full blown snowball fight; it made you laugh.

This is the family life Billy deserved to have; it’s the life you deserved to have. Lisa gave Anna a snowball that was so big she had to hold it with both hands while Frank picked her up and told her to put it down the back of her father’s coat.

With snow clinging to her eyelashes and the ends of her dark brown hair, you watched Anna play, throw snowballs, and she even helped build a snowman. She rolled a ball of snow until she couldn’t push it anymore; you helped her after that but she was so pleased with how much she did herself.

“Dad, I found a hill we can sled down…over there.” Junior pointed to a spot in the park where a lot of kids were sledding.

“That’s a little steep, isn’t it?” Frank said.

“We can do it, Dad.” Lisa said.

“I meant steep for Little Raven.” Said Frank.

“I’ll go down with her, she’ll be fine.” Billy said, looking over at you and giving you a wink.

You just smiled and said, “Well I kinda need to see this.”

Your toes were starting to get cold despite wearing the warmest socks you could find. Also, it might have been a good idea to take Billy up on the hand warmers he offered you.

Next time you would; everyone seemed to be winding down anyway and Anna would need a nap soon but you watched as they all trekked up the hill, sleds in tow, and little Raven on top of her father’s shoulders.

She looked so excited.

Billy firmly placed Anna in front of him, making sure there was no possible way she could fall out. Junior was going down by himself; Frank and Lisa were in the sled next to Billy. It looked like they were going to race to see who could get to the bottom of the hill the fastest.

You waited at the bottom of the hill for them, out of the way so you wouldn’t get run over by other people in their sleds. They pushed themselves forward and took off down the hill. Gaining speed, Junior was in the lead with Lisa and Frank catching up.

It looked as though Billy was so concerned about Anna falling off, that he got distracted and three quarters of the way down the hill, he fell off the back but Little Raven remained upright and slid almost right to you.

The smile on her face was probably the biggest smile you had ever seen her make. It took up her entire face; it was Billy’s smile.

Billy, however, was not smiling.

“Look at you! Did you have fun?” You asked Anna, scooping her up into your arms and kissing her flushed cheeks.

“Where Daddy go?” She asked.

Frank and the kids couldn’t stop laughing. Billy had snow covering his black beanie, the tips of his long dark lashes had snow stuck in them, and snow covered the back of his black jacket. You tried to control your laughter but you couldn’t.

“Well baby, Daddy fell off the sled.” You said, biting back a smile.

Billy trudged up to you with a scowl on his face. “Oh it’s sooooo funny isn’t it.” He said sarcastically.

“Daddy ok?” Little Raven asked with concern in her tiny voice.

“At least someone is concerned for my well-being.” He said as the scowl disappeared and a slight smile took its place.

“Oh come on, Bill. You fell off the back of a sled, not off a cliff.” Said Frank, still laughing.

“Yes baby, Daddy’s ok. His pride is just a little hurt, that’s all.” Said Billy.

With his lip curled into a half smile, Frank said, “Well I gotta hand it to ya, Bill. You managed to fall off without tossing Little Raven out of the sled. I don’t know if that’s skill or luck.”

“You ok, handsome?” You asked with Anna sitting on your hip.

He inched closer to you and kissed your forehead. “I’m fine, sweet girl.”

Anna let out a long yawn, the tip of her nose was cherry red, and her eyes were almost halfway closed.

“Looks like someone’s tired.” Frank said with a warm smile.

“Who wants hot chocolate?” You asked.

Junior and Lisa’s hands shot straight up in the air.

“I do! I do!” They both said in unison.

“Ok, we’ll have hot chocolate at Uncle Billy’s and Auntie y/n’s so they can put Little Raven down for a nap. Then we’ll go so they can have a nap too. Can’t give Anna a sibling without a nap, right Bill?” Frank whispered with a wink.

You playfully rolled your eyes while Billy nudged Frank’s arm.

“Real smooth, Frankie. Real smooth.”

Tag List: @wheresthesunshinesblog @rafaelakelley @idaoftheburningmind @snowkestrel @fakehappy27 @music-indie-tv @fictional-hooman @kayhi808 @munsonownsmyass @gijos @celestialams @k-marzolf @nutmeg17 @rosaleenablack @vaguekayla @qu1etwolf @danzer8705 @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes

Others that might enjoy: @itwasthereaminuteago @fluffyprettykitty @jvanilly @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend @russosafehaven @mrsbillyrusso

If you’d like to be added (or removed from) my tag list(s) for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕💕💕 If I tagged you but you didn’t want to be, just let me know and I’ll never do it again.

[starlight-time-machine]

Week in Review

06/30/2024 – 07/06/2024

Sunday

Week 21 of missing Cipher Academy

Woah, they straight up removed Girl Meets Rock from the English app…I heard about them pausing it (presumably because of the use of real lyrics), but I didn’t expect them to remove it entirely… Now I kind of regret not keeping up these past few weeks. Hopefully it’ll come back soon…

Undead Unluck’s idol arc ended rather…abruptly. I’m certainly not alone in wishing that Kururu got some more meaningful character development, but hopefully that can happen in later arcs alongside the plot (like with Sean). I also wish it wasn’t so much “Soul controlled the whole thing” because giving Kururu a genuine mean streak would be so interesting for her character, but it sure seems like Tozuka is just going with the puppet master angle. Love seeing Sean get another great moment, though, and I’m kind of glad this arc is over so that we can move on.

Since Boku no Hero Academia is ending soon, I figured I may as well tune in for the last few chapters. I read a hundred-ish chapters back when it was first getting popular, but after Eri was introduced I feel like the cast got too big for me to remember them all on a weekly basis, and the political struggles/world-building weren’t that engaging for me so I dropped it. Reading some of the latest chapters has been interesting, though. Deku and Bakugo’s relationship was something that I really liked at the beginning of the series, and seeing Bakugo finally realize how important Deku is to him as a friend and rival is extremely cathartic. Same goes for the Todoroki family drama, which had just the right amount of hopefulness coupled with bittersweetness and regret. That one Todoroki guy deciding to go fully No Contact felt true to life to real abusive family dynamics, and I appreciate that Horikoshi didn’t go for the cheesy “we’re a family so we’ll stick together no matter what” thing. That soba line made me genuinely emotional for someone who hasn’t read the series in years. The other “loose end wrapping up” stuff didn’t really do much for me, but I’m looking forward to see how this series ends for good.

Took a trip to the library and picked up my hold of My Brain is Different and speed read it there. It was pretty interesting, especially as a look into the state of mental health services in Japan, and some of the stories were really moving. But even amongst all the moments of hardship in these people’s lives, it’s heartening to see everyone strive to keep living and doing their best (especially those with neurodivergent children who they want to look out for). I’ll give it a 6/10 – it’s simple for what it is, but still an enjoyable read.

Monday

Um

Tuesday

Uh

Wednesday

I need to read some of the BL tabs I have open because my computer is crashing every other day from trying to load everything. So today I finally finished Yuutosei wa Unmei no Akai Ito ni Sakaraitai. It’s a cute enough manga, with some funny bits, but aside from the gimmick du yaoi of the red thread of fate, there wasn’t much else going on. The romantic progression in volume 2 was fun (if basic), I guess, and I liked how the red thread theme came back around again to finally inspire the blond kid into action (I’ve already forgotten their names lol), but overall it’s a fairly run of the mill lighthearted BL story. 5/10.

Thursday

Tsubasa Tiger… I really liked this arc… Honestly, it’s probably my favourite Monogatari arc so far. It feels so good to be able to understand where all the characters are coming from and finally see a conclusive and satisfying end to an emotional arc. After watching Hanekawa’s letter in full on YouTube, it’s insane to see how much they cut in the anime episode…I know it was necessary, but I don’t think I would’ve understood Hanekawa’s character as much just from what they chose to leave in the anime. I might not have even really understood what the Cat and the Tiger represent to Hanekawa…their explanation blew by so fast in the anime that I probably would’ve missed it. This really solidified my desire to read the novels, because there was so much insight in Nisiosin’s writing that I feel like is going over my head in the anime. Who knows, maybe I’ll even finally love Monogatari as much as everyone seems to once I can actually fully grasp the characters. I teared up a little when Hanekawa finally accepted Araragi’s rejection and felt her emotions in their entirety – her story is really relatable to me, and this was the first time I’ve truly felt moved by it. I’m glad that she has someone like Araragi who will accept her as she is.

Friday

Went over to my friend’s house and tried to watch The Bear season 3 together…only for the seemingly endless meandering in episode 1 to completely turn us off the show altogether LMAO we sat through literally 13 minutes of nothing happening and just vague dreamlike flashbacks to shit we already knew about Carmy before we decided to just stop watching and do something else. I liked The Bear well enough back in the day for its frenetic energy and intensity, but then season 2 felt like it was spinning its wheels a bit. I didn’t like that Carmy turned the restaurant into a suffocating high end place, but I do get the feeling that the show’s gonna end with them returning to their roots so whatever. It’s just annoying to see him keep making these stupid decisions. This episode felt like it was revelling in its newfound popularity, bringing back all these celebrity cameos to seemingly little effect other than to flex their budget. I really don’t have any patience for a show that doesn't seem to know what to do with its characters, instead filling the airtime with egregious and tireless retreads of backstories and general indecision. (Once again I’m reminded of and grateful for Succession’s much subtler hand and how they allowed us to infer the past through the characters in the present. Not to unfairly compare The Bear to one of the best TV shows of all time or anything, but it was a little insane how people thought they were of the same calibre just because they were both Emmy favourites for their respective categories this year.) And honestly, I kind of just realized that I don’t care about any of these characters, and there’s not enough of a story to keep me engaged. This used to be a 7/10 for me, but hearing how season 3 is going and just the general flow of time has soured my opinion of this show enough to bring it down to a 4/10, along with an official decision to drop it.

Saturday

It’s another one of those weeks…I feel like I just have too much going on in my brain right now to really kick back and enjoy some art… This may continue for a while, so please bear with me.

[thatpunkmaximoff]

[Book One of Four]

Story: 4 out of 5 Smut: 2.5 out of 5

I’ve missed sports romance and Elle Kennedy so much. As soon as I started reading, I couldn’t stop. Even when a certain trope I don’t like popped up (love triangle), I still continued to read.

Summer and Fitzy were so perfect for each other, but it took them forever to realize it. Well, to be fair, they realized it a lot sooner but Fitzy couldn’t explain his feelings and Summer had that thing with Hunter, and yeah… it was a mess.

While the story was fun and entertaining as hell, I still felt it ended rather abruptly. I know there isn’t a book of novellas that kinds of ties up everyone’s story like the Off-Campus series, so I’m hoping to see more Summer and Fitzy in the other books.

* Kappa Beta Nu girls are smug bitches. I don’t like them.

* Okay, so maybe Bianca is okay.

* Fitzy is a tattooed, hockey playing nerd… I love him already. (I forgot everything from the Off-Campus series, sshhhhh 🤫)

* Ew. Summer kissed Hunter..?

* Ohhh. She has a learning disability that she’s really insecure about, but masks it really well. I wonder how Fitzy will react when he finds out.

* She heard Fitzy call her “fluff”. So that’s why she kissed Hunter.

* New friend alert? Hello, Brenna.

* Gross. Now Hunter thinks he’s got dibs on Summer just because his tongue was down her throat on NYE? Barf.

* Ouch. Just when things are going good… there’s a misunderstanding in the kitchen about reading and books. This is gonna be so frustrating.

* Nooooo. Don’t cuddle Hunter. Cuddle Fitz!

* Ughhh. And now there’s this Nora girl already seeming possessive of Fitzy just because he was looking at Summer? 😩

* Gross. I don’t like this Professor Erik Laurie. He’s skeezy af. And Nora bore witness to their conversation. She’s gonna flip it and make it seem like Summer is trying to seduce their professor. Bitch.

* Oh man, Summer and Fitzy finally having it out tugged at the heartstrings. I just wanted these two together so bad.

* And this is why I don’t like Hunter. He can happily kiss another girl during Spin the Bottle, but god forbid Summer kiss a dude that isn’t him. Fuck this guy.

* Ohhhh, they’re friendly-ish now. He’s gonna help her study and she’s gonna let him sketch her for his game!

* Ugghhh. I hate that Hunter is into Summer and now wants to ask her out. He’s gonna ruin the whole dynamic when she says no and realizes she’s into Fitzy.

* Summer, nooooo.

* I don’t like this love triangle bullshit. I hope Hunter does something horrendous, like cheat, for Summer to break things off with him. Then again, she’s not wrong about Fitzy not being clear about what he wants.

* Goddamn, Summer. You really blew Fitzy in the locker room when you still have a date with him teammate?! Not cool.

* And Fitzy, you dick. I can’t believe you bailed on that talk.

* I fucking hate this assistant Dean or whatever he is. Summer told you a professor made her uncomfortable and you blame her!? Fuck you. I hope you get fired.

* Fuckkk. She went on the date with Hunter, only to basically tell him she wants Fitzy. A sense a fight coming 👀

* Hunter’s handling this like a pussy.

* Fuck that drunk tech dude. I’m so glad he showed his true colors and Fitzy didn’t go work for him.

* Dean walked in on them. Omg 😆

* The professor is a fucktard!

* Omg. That text dude called and apologized to Fitzy! Where’s Sunmer’s apology, asshole?!

* Oohhh. Fitzy is gonna walk in her fashion show 😏

* The professor really tried to rape Nora?! wtf! I’m so glad Summer was there.

* Wait, what. The end? That was kind of… abrupt.

[plush-rabbit]

Oh My Baby, I Love You

Warnings: NSFW

Word Count: 4.6K

A/N: Did I take liberties with the things from the series like Kiri and Suneater?? Yes. Yes I did.

Toyomitsu Taishiro loves his work. He loves walking around and have people, more often than not kids, run up to him and ask for a picture, happy to see him and bouncing in their step when they gaze upon him. He enjoys the things that his work has brought. The good and the bad. The bright, smiling faces of the people he has saved and the angry, distorted faces of people who would commit such atrocities. He protects with everything he has, smiles wide and eyes determined. 

He’s rarely seen without his fat. Only using it in dire situations and once lost, always quick to eat and round in the belly that makes him appear soft and loveable but at the same time strong and willing to protect even if it truly does mean to use all he’s got.  

He has two kids he’s mentoring, Kirishima Eijiro, with a brilliant quirk who has the spirit of a hero, and Amajiki Tamaki, a boy who puts himself down before anyone else can but who is already as strong as a pro. He protected Kirishima, who allowed him to be able to take the shield down, who still didn’t recognize him since all his fat was used as an attack. He thinks that was the moment it clicked. When he went to check on the boy in the hospital, a tray of untouched food in one and a bag of treats in hand, he felt proud when the young child told him to sit and share, was listening with every fiber in his being as the child recounted the story of the night and how the hospital staff was kind. There was an odd sense in him that wanted to hug the child when he winced and pulled on a healing injury, who wanted to pet his hair and coo words of courage into his ear but he knew that it wouldn’t be seen as how he would have meant it. It would have been laughed off, perhaps, or maybe he would have delighted him in his role as a mentor, to allow him to pretend that he truly did have a child who was out protecting the city with the same fierce excitement that Kirishima has. 

On the trek back home, a bag of greasy food in one hand and mouth stuffed with french fries, he took notice of all the families he saw. He saw little children crying and sniffling as their parents kissed their scraped knees, smiling through the tears and nodding that they felt better. He saw children being carried on their parent’s shoulders, a tight grip on their ankles as the child screamed through fear and excitement. He saw with his two light golden eyes, families that stayed close together and smiled as they walked hand in hand, swinging their children through the air, hands intertwined as they watched the child play on the swingset in the park.

Food could no longer fill the void. This void was not his stomach, no it was worse than that. It hurt to think about it for too long, aching every time he saw a child, felt itself squeeze when he saw your sleeping form and placed a hand over your stomach hoping to feel a difference- hoping to feel a kick. 

He desperately wanted a child. Wanted a family with you. To come home and see you and a little bundle of wheat colored hair sleeping on your chest. Wanted you to swell with his love as the eldest ran up to him, ran up to his father, and showed him a picture they drew of him while he was away.

He thinks you want one as well. You’ve never voiced it but you let him please you without protection, without a quiet mumble to pull out and let you taste him on your tongue. No, instead you allow him to go deep in you, to feel your gummy walls clench around his member and wrap your legs around him when he pumps you full of his seed.

You gave him enough trust to have his way with you, to envelop you and fill you until you had begun to leak, covering it close with your hand but still having it drip and seep between your fingers.

He never tells you, a part of him is fearful that it would be too much and you would find it disgusting and another part knowing that what he already leaves in you is too much. But every  time he’s in the shower, with a tight grip around his already twitching cock, he’s never satisfied, he’s never filled you until he was content, until he was empty. He always pulls himself away, never wanting to hurt you and with enough self control to realize that perhaps you don’t want the life he wants. So instead he goes into the shower and bites down on his hand as he watches his cum flow down the drain. A thought always crossed his mind as knees trembled and breath slowly became steady: perhaps that’s why you weren’t getting pregnant- because he never did the full job. 

He stands in front of the door, key in hand and he chuckles bitterly, shaking his head and clicks open the door, his face brightening instantly as he smells your cooking. Eyes look around for a glimpse of you, thoughts that perhaps he doesn’t need a family to be happy, he already has you and you’re more than enough. But when he sees you in a frilly apron colored pink with a dark red heart in the middle of your chest those thoughts are quickly flushed away. You’d be the cutest little housewife. He could do his job, you can be at home with the children and at night he could fill you up all over again. He can feel his cock jerk at the thought of it. 

He knocks on the table and you startle. You look at him with wide eyes, posture stiff until you realize it’s just him. “I didn’t expect you back so soon,” your voice is calming and you smile at him before returning to stirring the meat on the skillet. “How is Kirishima doing? I was thinking I could bake something for him and you could take it over next time you go.” You’re so caring, so sweet to care about a child that you had never met before.

“He’s doing great! I’m sure he’ll be out by tomorrow or even tonight if he’s lucky.” He’s cheery when he talks about the students he’s mentoring. “How was your day?” Large hands wrap themselves around your waist and he places a kissing the space where your jaw meets your neck.

You lean towards him, feeling his body against your back and humming. “That’s good to hear,” you muse. “My day was fine, I just went shopping today and had lunch with some friends.” You crane your head and kiss his chin, smiling when he presses his face closer to yours. “Dinner should be ready in a few,” you mumble against his skin, placing one last kiss on him. 

He hums and with reluctant hands slipping off your waist, he goes to the bathroom to wash up. He splashes water on his face and looks at himself in the reflection, swiping a hand down and drops of water splash into the sink. The cold water on his skin does nothing to cool down his warming body. Hands inch down to wear his cock is straining against him, pressing into the cabinets. He lets out a shaky sigh and pulls himself away, shaking his head.

“Get it together,” he says to himself, grabbing a towel and wiping his face with it. “I can get through dinner with them and then we can go to bed.” His face burns at the thought of the bedroom, already picturing himself between your thighs. He hears his name called, muffled through the closed door and he nods, licking his lips and smoothing back his hair.

You’re setting down the plates, drinks already set and hair pulled back and you look up at him as he enters the dining room. “I tried a new recipe today,” you push a strand of hair behind your ear, “I hope it tastes good,” you give him a sheepish smile that makes him want to scoop you in his arms.

So he does. “I’m sure it will,” he mumbles against your neck, face nuzzling into you and hands pressed against your back.

“Someone missed me,” you chuckle, petting his hair and humming when he presses another kiss to you.

“Missed you like crazy.” He makes no intention to let go, pressing you closer against him and breathing you in,hands that slide down to the small of your back.

“Tai,” you whisper softly, fingers entangled in his hair, “our food is gonna get cold.”

He peels away from you and throws his head back as he walks to his plate. “I’m getting my fill later,” he says nonchalantly, grabbing a forkful of the dish you made.

“You always get your fill,” you tease, slipping into the seat across from him. 

He’s silent, eyebrows furrowed as he bites into his food, letting out a satisfactory hum. “Ish really good!” He exclaims, hand covering his mouth as he talks.

You smile widely at him, proud at the meal you cooked. Idle chatter began to fill the room, back and forth where he would comment on your day, little hums and nods to show he was still listening. You shook your head, stifling a smile as you recounted lunch with your friends, waving it off as an inside joke. You cleared your throat and turned your interest to him.“So what else did you do today? Were you with Kirishima all day?” You take a sip of your drink and look at him expectantly. 

“Oh no, not all day,” Taishiro says in between bites, “I took the long way home after I stopped by to get some food.”

“What did you get?”

“Just a burger and fries.” He pats his stomach and grins at you. “Gotta build up all that weight again.”

“If I had known that you wanted to fill up quickly, I would’ve made more than two servings.” You smile apologetically at him and lean back into your chair. “Sorry dear, guess I forgot.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” he waves a hand towards you, taking the last bite out of his dinner. “I can always carbo load tomorrow.” He glances up at you and kicks your leg gently underneath the table. “If you want you can help me load up?” He feels his chest swell when you smile at him. “I always love your cooking.”

You scoff and roll your eyes, a playful smile on your lips. “Flattery will get you everywhere, you know that Taishiro.” He feels a chill run up his spine when you say his name and he leans forward to you. “How’s the other kid? Amajiki?”

“He’s doing great, you know? With his resolve and great power, he’s sure to be a top hero in no time!” He’s also so excited when he talks about them, standing straighter with a bigger grin on his face that shines so bright that it reminds you of the sun. 

“You’re always so passionate about those kids,” you smile, taking the last sip from your drink, “I’m sure when we have our kids, they’ll be great too.” You start to put your utensils on the plate, wiping your mouth with a napkin. 

Taishiro’s face falls and eyes go wide. He has a blank expression and he’s staring at you with his mouth slightly agape. “What?” He asks softy, barely above a whisper.

Your shoulders jump and your eyes go wide, the fork in your hand drops onto the porcelain plate and makes a high pitched chinking sound. You snap your neck up at him that it hurts, your mouth pressed into a thin line and heat rising onto your face. “I, um,” you trail off, “I have to go do the dishes!” You jump from your seat and reach across to grab his finished plate and scurry off to the sink.

He stares at your empty seat, his mind empty of all thoughts save for the sentence you had just said before you fled. You wanted kids too. Or at least it sounded as if you also wanted a family too. And then he didn’t respond to you. Oh no. He didn’t respond. The chair scrapes across the wooden floor and he walks swiftly in the kitchen where the water pressure is on high and your hands are covered in soap suds. 

“Um, can we talk?” He sounds nervous even to himself. His voice is strained and he feels uncomfortable staring at your back as you keep your head down. 

“Sorry can’t hear you!” You raise your voice comically. “Water is too high!” 

He snatches a dish towel off of the oven handle and presses his stomach against your back. The room is silent without the sound of rushing water. He can feel his heart beat against his chest and he wonders if you can hear it too. “I-”

“I’m sorry!” Your head is bowed down and he can see from the space between your hair that your ears are deep shade of red. “I was just talking out loud. I mean it’s silly. We’re not even married-”

“We can get married.” He interjects quickly and takes a small step back when you turn around. He brings his hand in between the both of you and hands you the dish towel. 

You take it with shaky fingers and twist it around your hand. “That’s,” you pause, “that’s not a funny joke Taishiro,” your eyebrows knit and you can’t make eye contact with him, keeping your gaze focused on the towel knotted in your hands. 

“‘S not a joke.” He clasps his hands over yours, fingers dipping into the towel and your own fingers flinch and coil tighter with the faux touch. “I really love you,” he licks his lips and bends down to look into your eyes. “I can get a ring soon and actually propose but this-” he gestures with a finger to you and him- “I  want to be with you.”

You nod slowly and chew on your bottom lip. He can see unshed tears brim. He releases his hands from your and brings his hands to cup your face, thumbs rubbing small circles into your soft skin. “Hey, hey. What’s wrong?”

There’s a slight shudder in your chest and you take in a breath. Your cup on  his hands and turn your face, lips tickle his palm as you begin to speak. “I want kids, are-”

“Kids would be great. I want kids,” he has the desperate urge to hold you tight and never let go, “Kids now would be great.” When you turn to him sharply with eyes wide, he retracts. “Kids whenever you want would be great.”

“Taishiro,” you whisper and step into him, wrapping your arms around him as the decorative dish towel flutters onto the floor, “are you sure?” 

“I cum in you for a reason don’t I?” He jokes.

He laughs when he hears your offended gasp. “Taishi!” You playfully slap his arm and pull away, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. “I thought that was just a kink!”

The mood in the air is lighter, more playful, as he laughs and grabs your hands and presses your face into his chest, his laughter causing deep vibrations. “It is a kink! I swear!” He feels your knee thwack his. “I also want a family!” He pulls away from you and holds your face in his hands, hands reaching behind to undo your ponytail. Your hair falls into a fluff and thick fingers brush away at strands. “I want it all with you,” he smiles softly and presses his forehead against yours with closed eyes.

“Yeah, I want it all with you too,” you whisper. “Wait,” you straighten, eyes narrowed at him. “You came in for the kink or the family?”

He snorts and rolls his eyes. His hands intertwine with yours as he leads you to the bedroom. “You let me cum in you.” He retorts.

“Yeah, cause it’s hot, if I had known you wanted to breed me I would’ve let you done it a lot sooner.”

He looks back at you with a raised eyebrow. “You wanted to be bred?” 

You huff and cross your arms, sitting on the bed with one leg crossed over the other. He can see bright red bloom down your neck. “Can we just-” you clear your throat and uncross your legs, fingers around the bottom edge of your shirt.

You look away from him and bite on your bottom lip. He steps forward and sits on his knees, hands placed firmly on your knees. “You need to tell me what you want, sweetheart.” His voice is lowered and he looks at you with all seriousness, eyes clouded and hazed over.

The corner of your mouth twitches. “Taishiro,” you coo, two fingers coming to lift his chin, “please, I want you to breed me. I want to start a family with you.”

-

There’s a deep silence for a moment, one where you are more exposed than you’ve ever felt before, one where it’s just you two alone, no external factors that could ever ruin this moment. It’s a moment that weighs so heavily, like a comforting blanket and then it’s ripped away as quick as it was brought.

His mouth is on yours, hands that collide with each other as they travel lower and rise, mouths breaking apart for a quick gulp of air. Exposed skin that bumps with the chilled air, hands that warm the chill away, fingertips that ghost over bellies and rising chests. You forget where you start and end, only feeling his mouth against yours, your fingers knotted into his hair and you can feel him grin against you, your own grin coming into shine.

Your back meets the bed, giggling as you pull away, your lips chasing his, eyes clouded with lust. He snickers and starts to pepper kisses down to your neck, hands slide their way up to your breasts, nipples pinched in between soft fingers, rolling the hardening buds around, soft gasps escape from your mouth and you can feel heat begin to bubble in your lower belly. 

His mouth leaves wet marks as he travels down, bright red love bites are left in his wake. Hands slide down your body; he grabs your hips with fingertips digging into your hips and you can feel hot breath against your heat, moistening the inner parts of your thighs. His lips trial up your thighs, lingering kisses that stick against your thigh, a tongue that swipes against your burning skin and with his lips that cover your slick ones, mouth wrapping around your clit, tongue pressing flat against it, moving the sensitive bud around, the hands twisted around his hair tightens and pulls him closer against your wanting heat. He mumbles softly into your skin, telling you to be patient. His lips release from your aching bud, his tongue rims around your entrance, pushing forward and tasting your sweet nectar, his tongue pushing and brushing against your gooey walls, your arousal staining his face as he breathes in your scent. 

You cry out, muffling your moans with the back of your hand, his hair ruffled and sticking up. There’s a slight hump in your hips when his fingers intrude upon your walls, your slick coating them as they pump in, rubbing along your walls, pressing down on your walls, little whimpers of pleasure sounding out. 

“You know,” his voice has taken a slightly darker tone, “I won’t let you come so easily this time.” He looks at you, eyes half lidded and voice heavily laced with lust. 

“Don’t-Don’t be such a tease Taishiro,” you say through gritted teeth. 

He moves his mouth closer to you, his chuckling sends waves of vibrations deep into your core. The  fingertips against your skin, dip into your skin, nails dragging and creating little red marks sink into your plush skin. 

He moves his mouth away from your throbbing heat, his chin glistens with arousal, his cock is standing at full length, bouncing as he crawls forward and captures you in a kiss, moaning when your tongue swipes across his bottom lip, tongue brushing against his, your kisses sloppy and lazy compared to his harsh ones that press deep into your skin, chest that ghosts over your own. 

He hisses and eyes shut tight when your hand wraps around his member. Fingers that spread wide before closing in on the gaps, your thumb brushing against the slit, pre-cum coats your thumb and you drag the self-made lubricant across his cock, your hand squeezing around him, pumping slowly as he hides his face into your shoulder, mouth wide open, moistening your skin.

It’s known to the world that with his quirk, he is able to expand. His body expands to what he eats- that includes his entire body. A cock that stretches you wide and makes you feel as if you’re being torn apart, filled until the tip bulges in your stomach, lewd sounds coming from you while he fills you with his seed. As his body regains fat, every part will expand proportionally, widen and  grow until it’s limit. And as he tries to regain his absorption, he’s currently bigger than average, making your hands seem small against him. 

“Taishiro,” you coo, your face flushed and mouth watering, “please,” you whisper and thrust your hips, moaning when his cock head brushes against your clit. 

“Say what you want me to do, buttercup,” he bites your neck and soothes it with his tongue when you hiss. “I want to hear ya say it.” He presses kisses under your chin, your free hand claws up on the bedsheets and shakily rising to grip his bicep.

“I-” you clear your throat and take in a deep breath, looking deep into his light golden eyes- “want you to breed me Taishiro. I want you to fill me with your cum.” In your hand, you feel your get covered in his leaking arousal.

He presses a kiss on your lips, your bottom lip turning a bright red and he places his hand over yours, leading his cock to brush against your sopping entrance. There’s a harmonious groan that comes out of both of you as he enters you, his cock pushing through your gooey walls, expanding inside of you, your walls molding around to fit his shape.

“You’re still so tight around me,” he chuckles breathlessly, “ah, I’m gonna fill you up, you know.” His grin is wide and wavers ever so slightly to moan as you thrust your hips upwards, face scrunching in a mixture of pleasure and pain for you. 

Your hands go and grasp his face, watching him intently with lips slightly parted and face a sinful shade of red. “Yes, Tai-Taishiro, breed me,” your face scrunches in pleasure and hands fall from his face, he grasps a hand and brings it back to his face, turning his head and pressing a quick kiss the open palm of your hand, “I want a family with you, I want it all with you,” you whine, closing your eyes and arching your back when he hits deep inside of you, walls pulsing around him and coating him in your slick.

“You're going to be so beautiful,” he can feel his eyes get glassy, shining with tears of joy, “I’m going to take such good care of all of you.” His head dips down and he lets out a strangled groan, breathing roughly.

Already so close to reaching his high, he starts to ramble, his lips pulled into a shaky smile, “I’m already so close, heh,” he grins at you sheepishly, “you do this to me. Just by saying you want a family with me,” he buries his face into your neck and lets out a whine, '' I'm so lucky,” he breathes out.

“Taishiro,” you wrap your legs around him, heels digging into his soft flesh and pushing him closer to you, “I can feel myself about to cum,” you mewl, the tight build up in your stomach becoming too much with pressure.

“You’re going to be such a good parent. Y-You and me both. You’re going to be so gorgeous, so fucking st-stunning. Fuck,” he lets out a good, choked cry, eyes brimming with tears. “Your breasts are going to be full of milk, swollen and leaking, just like your pretty, little cunt,” his hips shudder against yours, cock beginning to leak with his cum.

Your gummy walls encass his hard member, wet, slick noises come out of you with every pump, muffled whimpers into each other's skin as you hiss with thrust, your arousal leaking out and dripping down your thighs.

You cry against him, face scrunching as your own high approaches. You move a hand down to your hidden pearl, gasping when you begin to massage it, little shock of pleasure adding to the tension building in your lower belly. “I’m gonna be your little housewife,” you whimper, “I’ll be so good,” you swear, there’s a rough drag against your forearm as you pleasure yourself, fingers trying to keep the steady pace you set for yourself.

White stains your lips and the bedsheets underneath, his leg jittering as he continues to pump himself in you, cum has begun to overflow and through glossy eyes, he thinks he can make out your swelling belly filled with his cum. “You’ll be such a good mother,” he leans his forehead against yours and closes his eyes, a tear slipping out and staining his face, “I get to come home to you and-” a hand comes down to rub your belly, the extra weight causing cum to spill out of you- “we get to be a family.” Ecstasy courses through his body, cock twitching as cum sputters out.

With those words leaving his mouth, the tight coil snaps and your legs press against him tightly before falling to a limp, the hand lost between your sweating body falls to the side. Your mouth is open into a low moan, face pinched into an “O” shape with your head thrown back. Your high leaves you feeling as if you’re on pins and needles, whole body shaking and the slow pumping of Taishiro leaves you quivering. Your hand comes to cover your blushing face, a dazed smile spreading onto your face.

He pulls out of you with a wet squelching hand and a blind hand searches to cover up your leaking entrance, the cum seeping out in between your fingers, letting out a whine and kicking your heels in the bed sheets.

“It should stick.” The bed groans under his weight as he collapses, chest sinking heavily. “Gave it my all,” he smiles, shaky hands pulling your body close to him.

“‘S a lot more than usual,” you mumble against his skin, you feel fingers brush away the hair that sticks to your face, running fingers down your hair. “Were you holding out on me this whole time?” You ask teasingly, lips quirking into a half-hearted smile.

“Promise not to do it again,” he whispers, legs tangling into yours and arms loosening as you shift in his grasp. “I love you,” he breathes, craning his neck back to watch your already droopy eyelids and deep breathing rising from your chest.

“Love you too,” you mumble with eyes closed while a heavy hand searches for the covers.

He mumbles against your skin and with aching legs, he covers the two of you, complaining about laundry tomorrow, you give him a weak laugh and pull him close with beckoning fingers.

[nonagesimus]

(Fic) if you think it’s love (it is) - Sastiel ~2.5k

(AO3 Link)

Sam decides it’s time Cas finally gets that date. Happy Valentine’s Day, sastielers!

It was three days after the grace-extracting experiment. They had been quiet. Researching, looking for cases. Sam had calmed after the spell failed - for about a day. Since then Castiel had caught him staring in quiet moments, hovering over books with his gaze in middle distance instead of on the pages, chewing his fingernails. When he’d asked was was bothering him, Sam had said nothing. So, he waited. If Sam wanted to tell him something, he would. Eventually. Apparently three days was that eventually.

“I- I’m sorry if this is weird,” was an auspicious start, as he stepped into the library, but Castiel just waited for him to continue. “Dean told me - just mentioned, really - that while you were human you had kind of a… date that wasn’t.”

Which, yes, it probably was a little weird. Castiel was still unsure of what social cues he’d missed or ignored in that particular situation. But none of that was Sam’s fault. “I did,” he confirmed, neutrally.

“So, did you ever get a date?” Sam seemed to be very focused on carefully placing his coffee mug on the table without spilling anything. “A real one?”

“No,” Castiel said. “I think I’m ok without one, though.”

“No!” Sam’s voice came out a little strangled. “No, you- let me take you out.”

Castiel took his attention completely off the book he’d been scanning to fix his gaze to Sam, who at least had looked up at him now. Wide-eyed and a little paler than normal. “You want to take me on a date?”

That made Sam’s gaze skitter back to the table. “I just feel like you should have one.”

Castiel’s instinct was to push. Past the nerves, and the averted eyes, and the skip he could hear in Sam’s heartbeat. If he pushed, he thought, that might make Sam back off. “Ok,” he said, instead.

“Ok?” The word seemed like it rushed out of Sam’s chest involuntarily, breathy and relieved. “Ok. Great. Would- uh. How about the day after tomorrow?”

It wasn’t like Castiel had plans.

If he had, he would’ve cancelled them.

“How do I know you know what you’re talking about?” he asked Sam the next day, while he was watching him eat breakfast. “What’s the best date you’ve ever been on?”

Sam, to his surprise, flushed a little. “Ok, uh. There was this date I went on at Stanford. And- so you gotta understand it’s like a six hour drive from Palo Alto to LA,” he said, smile already curling the corners of his lips. “And Jess said she wanted to make a trip down, and I wasn’t sure. Twelve hours in a car is a long time, unless we wanted to get a motel or somewhere down there, but she was really into the idea, so… We go. We’d been together, like. Six months? I think.” His eyes had softened, looking into his memories. “Turns out she wanted to drag me to this bookstore she’d gone to with her family. They’d visited her Freshman year, taken a trip down to see the sights and…” He trailed off.

“And?” Castiel prompted.

“It’s called The Last Bookstore,” Sam said, focusing in on Castiel again. “It’s this huge place downtown. Bottoms floor is new books, top floor is all secondhand. Themed rooms, art features, the lot.”

“Sounds like your kind of place,” Castiel said.

“It was,” Sam said. His smile went distant again. “It took me an hour to realise that Jess liked it, sure, she thought it was a great bookstore. But it wasn’t six-hour-drive worth it to her. She just knew it would be to me.”

Castiel nodded, considering it. “That does sound nice.”

“We were so tired driving back I almost crashed the car,” Sam said. “But yeah.”

The next day, to Castiel’s surprise, they started early. Sam drove, did not tell Castiel where they were going. He’d packed a backpack, and didn’t protest when Castiel inspected it - it contained food. sandwiches, fruit, and carrot sticks, a thermos of coffee. Enough for Sam for the day.

“I’m guessing we’ll be out for a while,” he said, zipping it back up.

“Yeah,” Sam said. “Unless- if you’re not having a good time just tell me. We can always go back.”

“You’re the one who wanted to take me out, Sam,” Castiel said, calmly. “I’m trusting you to do it.”

But Sam was nervous. Clear in the tension of his hands on the steering wheel, the set of his jaw. That, more than anything else, contributed to a quiet drive. Not uncomfortably - Sam had spent enough of his life on long car rides, and Castiel had certainly learned to bear them since he lost his wings. Sam took occasional sips from the thermos, they listened to local radio stations fade in and out, and watched the Kansas greenery go by. Until, a little before ten in the morning, Sam guided him into a small museum surrounded by short hiking trails.

And it was guided - Sam kept opening doors for him, kept hovering his hand near Castiel’s lower back, watching him out of the corner of his eye. They made it through three rooms - full of life-size dioramas, and informative placards, and really big rocks - before they spoke.

It wasn’t that it wasn’t interesting. A level of information the hovered in-between the levels that Castiel did know -  the macro of heaven and the extreme micro of the world he now lived in with the Winchesters. As well as the displays, he watched Sam out of the corner of his eye. He had wondered if he’d linger close the whole time, that hand near the small of his back, a steady presence at his side. But, no, Sam orbits. Sometimes looking at the same displays as Castiel, sometimes across the room. Always aware of him, it seemed.

“So,” Castiel said the next time they felt themselves side by side, looking at a series of miniature log cabins, each in different stages of completion. “If this is supposed to be a bookshop moment, like Jess gave you, why here?”

Sam worried at his lip, cheeks a little flushed. “I don’t know if this is that special, but - and do correct me if I’m wrong, but I hope I’m not - you’ve experienced so much of history from the outside. Just through heaven’s point of view. And then you came down, and you fought with us, and you stayed with us. It made me think you might be a little interested in seeing more things from our perspective.”

“Oh.” Because of course models and dioramas were not just models and dioramas.

“Besides,” Sam said, with a little more confidence. “After the whole molecules discussion it was pretty obvious dinner was a bad idea.” He flashed a quick grin.

Castiel wished he’d brought a flower, like he had when he’d been wrong about it. For some reason it felt like it might’ve jinxed it. Was that a holdover from being human or just from spending so much time with the humans he was with? The same result either way.

Two hours had gone by, spent in equal contemplation of the exhibits and the man who had brought him to see them, when Sam suggested they head back to the car.

“The museum is open until five,” Castiel pointed out.

“We’ve got a location two,” Sam said, “And they close at five as well. We leave now we’ll have a couple of hours once we get there.”

Another three-ish hour drive then. “Using all your ideas on one day?” Castiel asked, moving with Sam towards the exit regardless. “There’s time.”

Sam laughed. “When have you known us to have this many days off in a row?”

It was true. Not just in the always-an-impending-catastrophe way, either. Castiel had been able to tell there was energy building up in Sam when they were in the bunker. That he was healing, but that also meant that a growing part of him was yearning to work again. Maybe planning this had partially been a way to burn off some of that.

Sam pulled open the passenger side door for him.

The set out again. Sam ate some of the food he’d packed for himself one handed - Castiel busied himself helping open and close containers, pouring from the thermos. Watching Sam drive. A shorter drive, but only slightly.

“This is,” Sam said, guiding Castiel towards the entrance, “The Cosmosphere.”

This one - this one Castiel liked better. There was something endearing, something comforting, something familiar about how hard humans strived for flight. And he understood, now, the lack of it. This was something that was too often missed, in heaven. They’d watched humanity grow, obviously, but they ignored how much of it had been under their own power. That the ‘hairless apes’ had taken stone, and steel, and fire, and built themselves wings.

He was staring up an a model of Saturn V when he noticed how closely Sam was watching him.

There was anxiety in his eyes, but also a fondness. A warmth.

Castiel’s chest was warm, too.

They lingered right up until closing time, walking so close as they left that it was easy for Castiel to brush their shoulders together, watch Sam duck his head and smile.

And he’d known. He’d known, as soon as he heard the way Sam’s heart skipped when he’d asked if he could take him out, at every door he’d opened, how he’d been watching Castiel closer than any of the exhibits. Sam opened the door of the car for him again, and Castiel stopped to grip his arm, feel it solid and warm under his palm.

“Thank you for this, Sam,” he said.

Sam’s answering smile was bright, and open, and felt a little like sunshine. “There’s, uh. There’s one more thing. If you want to do it.”

Castiel tilted his head. “Oh?”

“Suns gonna be down in about an hour,” Sam said. “I thought… If you wanted to I thought we could stop and stargaze for a while.”

It sounded romantic.

It was cold, in the December air, but Sam had managed to stow blankets in the car without Castiel noticing. He draped one over the hood, and piled the others on top of them. He didn’t feel the cold, not like Sam did, but the blankets were an excuse to sit closer that completely necessary. Shoulders pressed in together. One ankle thrown over one of Sam’s. They talked, a little. Mostly they stared up at the sky. Sam finished the lukewarm coffee left in the thermos. Castiel listened to him breath, to the beat of his heart.

After a long time, Sam made a slightly apologetic noise, sliding off the hood of the car. “This isn’t great date talk, he said, “but we should get going, and I really need to take a leak before we drive home.” Then he tramped off into the undergrowth off the side of the road.

There weren’t any roses nearby, but Castiel could smell wildflowers still somehow hanging on in the cold. Quietly, he made his way into the dark to pick one, carefully selecting a bloom that had no crushed petals, wasn’t too close to wilting. A brief thought to Dean’s advice, and he removed his tie, opened an extra button on his shirt.

It felt a little ridiculous but when they got inside the car, and the interior light turned on, Sam’s eyes flickered down to the newly exposed skin.

Castiel held out the flower towards him.

Sam took it, hand soft and reverant, grin blooming on his face. “What’s this?”

“For you,” Castiel said. “You took me out, the least I could do is get flowers.”

Sam flushed, gently tucked the flower into one of the buttonholes in his shirt. “Thanks,” he said, so soft it was almost whispered.

They drove.

Sam was clearly exhausted by the time they got back to the bunker, yawning so wide his jaw cracked and then looking shame-faced. “Sorry,” he said.

“Hm,” Castiel said. “Maybe next time it could be one trip out per date, not a marathon.”

He cracked a grin at that. And, after all this time, it was nice to see an exhaustion that felt pleased. Satisfied, not just harrowed. “I’ll keep that in mind, Cas.”

“So.” Castiel paused at the corridor that lead towards the bedrooms, turned to face Sam. Wondered if he should be pushing this far. “There’s a proper way to end a good date, correct?”

Sam’s eyes flickered instantly to Castiel’s lips, which made him feel unaccountably pleased. “That’s ok, Cas,” he said, instead of leaning in. “That’s- that’s more for proper dates, not. This.”

So there was the line. Driving a total of nine hours across Kansas, carefully selected locations that he’d thought Cas would like, sitting shoulders pressed together on the hood of the car. Standing right up against it, but Sam had drawn a line, and this was it.

“This meant something to you,” Castiel said, stepping one foot over. “More than just doing something nice for me.”

“Cas,” Sam said, shaking his head, gaze down, self-deprecating smile. “You don’t have to-“

“I would like it,” Castiel interrupted, stepping closer, second foot over the line, and taking Sam’s hand, “If you let it mean something to me too.”

Sam’s eyes met his, expression disbelieving, almost scared. But he didn’t pull away, didn’t shift as Cas leaned closer. Not all the way. He was sure, he was so sure but- but if he was wrong.

He wasn’t wrong. Sam, breath unsteady, hand tightening around Castiel’s, closed the last of the distance. As kisses went it was gentle. Chaste. All too brief. As Sam drew back a noise of protest slipped out of Castiel’s throat involuntarily; he shifted with him. Sam’s free hand moved to his jaw, guided him into a second kiss, slower and deeper, and that, that was what Castiel wanted. He let his hand splay at Sam’s lower back, drew him in closer, opened his mouth so they could taste each other.

They broke apart eventually, Sam’s thumb stroking up and down the side of Castiel’s hand.

“So,” Castiel said, “Next time, I’m taking you out. Give me some time to plan it.”

Sam ducked his head, but not far enough Castiel couldn’t see his smile. “Ok.”

“I’m going to kiss you again,” he said. “If that’s alright.”

Sam’s smile brightened, and leaned in to meet him.

[prettywordsyouleft]

The Devil in Red and White

Pairing: Im Jaebum x female reader

World: King Of Demons

Genre: fluff / demon au / christmas-ish au (I know it’s January, don’t come for me)

Warnings: none, aside from if you’re not familiar with this world, then nicknames won’t make much sense.

A/N: I had this idea immediately when I started thinking about what to write for Jaebum’s birthday. Then I cursed it out for not coming to me earlier in December so it would make more sense to use it. But hey, Sheol and Earth never really line up with the same time and date, now do they XD (I also need to write this now before the next story for Princess and Jaebum in this world and since I plan to do that before Christmas 2021, please just humour me a little longer!)

Word count: 1321

King of Demons series: Havoc // King of Demons // Unfathomable // Sacrifice // King of Demons: The Return // In The Night // Identity // Prophecy // Someone // The Devil Contained // The Monsters Witch

Jaebum was more than ready to see you again.

It had been far too long, so he thought, since you had returned to Sheol, and this time apart especially had been harder to endure, knowing you were with child.

His child.

Still, to anyone who wasn’t close to the Devil himself, they would merely think of him as curiously awaiting the elevator from the Gatekeeper’s lair. The smirk on Mark’s face beside him, however, gifted Jaebum with the knowledge that his closest friend was amused by him.

“Now is not the time to taunt me, Mark.”

“I wouldn’t dream of doing such a thing,” the demon mentioned too airily and Jaebum eyed his friend carefully. “You might combust into flames if I were to try.”

“Am I that noticeable?”

“Only to me,” Mark answered with a wicked grin that gave Jaebum little assurance. “No doubt the servants of this area merely think you’re awaiting a new supply of mint chocolate chip ice-cream.”

“Perhaps Y/N will bring some,” he murmured, clasping his hands together, only to let them go a moment later. Jaebum sighed heavily, looking at Mark once more. “Do you think she’ll be much different?”

“Physically, or…?”

“I suppose there could be mental changes,” Jaebum replied, pacing the area until one of his workers looked his way. Silencing the attention with a glare, the Devil frowned. “I’ve read some on the topic.”

“Of how to become a father?” Mark openly questioned, and Jaebum’s eyes widen immediately. Mark and Jinyoung were the only two to truly not fear him in these parts, and for once, it irked Jaebum. He wished Mark’s easiness would damper down.

Then again, he was an experienced demon. Mark had spent far longer up on Earth than he had.

And Jaebum needed the advice. “You’ve seen pregnancy up there, have you not?”

“Can’t say I took it on as an interest. Perhaps you should have done more research before ending in such a predicament?”

“We all know my brother is hardly one to study,” Jinyoung stated upon arrival, and Jaebum glowered at the Prince of Sheol. It was not effective. “Come, brother. I’ve outgrown your glares, have I not?”

“Why is she taking so long?!” Jaebum exclaimed impatiently, throwing his hands up into the air. Flames sparked at the ends of his fingers, and he groaned.

He was evidently too worked up.

Just then, he heard the cranking of the brakes to the elevator down below, his hands reaching for his hair before smoothing down his silk shirt. Ignoring the sniggers from those awaiting your arrival too, Jaebum’s gaze grew earnest.

Just what was he to expect?

When the ancient elevator reached its destination, and the doors opened, all the nerves he felt evaporated when he saw your face. Your eyes connected with his and he rushed forward to your side, pulling you into a much-awaited embrace.

“I’ve missed you,” he murmured into your ear, now uncaring of how much affection he showered you in within the company of others. Whenever you were present in his world, Jaebum could hardly care for normalities and ranks.

You turned him into a vulnerable man, every time.

However, when he pulled away to inspect you properly, Jaebum was immediately concerned. You had bags under your eyes from lack of sleep, and your skin looked pallid. The size of your stomach was smaller than he expected, and yet, it seemed to be sucking the life out of you.

Whilst your death would end the constant separation whenever you were obligated to return to Earth, he wasn’t quite prepared to accept your heart stopping anytime soon either.

“My love…”

“First, allow me to get my things before you fuss, Jaebum.”

He blindly allowed you to turn back for the elevator, where a large suitcase waited for retrieval.

“What’s that, Princess?” Mark enquired for the three men watching on, Jinyoung stepping forward to help you when you struggled to get it over the lip of the door.

“Supplies.”

“For?”

“You’ll see,” you announced with a bright smile, returning to Jaebum’s side and taking his hand. “Will you take me to our quarters now? I think I need a rest before I begin.”

You had only rested until the evening when suddenly you had enough energy and wished to use it for whatever you had planned. Jaebum whined, hoping you could stay in bed with him just a little longer.

However, you were far too animated to contain.

Unlatching the suitcase, you started pulling out sparkly strings of tinsel and random ornaments, dashing around the room with them. It confused Jaebum greatly. “My Queen?”

“Yes, my King?” you hummed happily, dressing up the grand fireplace with something far too festive for his liking.

“Wasn’t it Christmas time last month up there for you humans?”

You turned to give him a pointed look, and Jaebum was ashamed that the accusing expression he held softened immediately. “Yes, it was.”

“Then why are you bringing such ghastly things into our home?”

“Ghastly?!” you echoed, your efforts doubling. You placed a plaid cushion on the armchair by the fireplace. “You have no regards for my feelings at all!”

“Your feelings are ones I regard above all,” he shot back, and you rolled your eyes.

“Once again, I spent my holidays without you, without our family down here. Whilst I understand the agreement made with the Gods for my travelling back and forth, it’s different now.”

“Why?”

“Because we have traditions to start!”

“In January?”

“As parents,” you corrected, and Jaebum frowned.

“I’m going to need more information.”

“Christmas is a joyous occasion, and our daughter will grow up knowing of it,” you insisted, and Jaebum nodded.

“That I agree with, but isn’t it a December thing? It’s a new year now.”

“So you suggest that we don’t celebrate it as a family?”

“No, I-”

“I grew up believing in the magic of Christmas, of Santa,” you explained, placing a red and white hat upon Jaebum’s head in the process.

He glanced at the pompom hanging off the end with some bewilderment.

You giggled then, and that eased the tension within the room. “You’ll make a fine Santa Claus one day.”

“Me?! Can’t we make BamBam do it?”

“So you’ll accept me kissing your Gatekeeper? I haven’t ever thought about doing that before but-”

“I love you,” Jaebum intervened, kissing you to compliment his statement. Rubbing your shoulders gently, he then sighed. “But I have no intentions of letting you kiss another, nor any understanding of what you talk of.”

“I know. Christmas is a human thing,” you mentioned, and Jaebum nodded softly.

“And one that is more in alignment with those in the heavens above, don’t you think?”

“Still, can’t you come on board with me about this? I’ll explain it to you more so you understand.”

“I’m already trying to comprehend parenting, which is a novel concept for someone like me. Surely, this Christmas thing can wait. And have you forgotten, much like what Christmas celebrations were started upon, I too have a birthday worth rejoicing over.”

“When is that again?” you teased, and Jaebum went to object when you popped a candy cane into his mouth. His eyes widened once the peppermint taste hit his senses.

The sweets of the human world never failed to impress him.

You smiled knowingly. “I want to have a belated Christmas party tonight.”

“Tonight? With everyone else?”

You nodded, and Jaebum grew glum.

“Were you hoping to keep me to yourself for days on end again?” Jaebum’s lack of immediate answer drew a soft chuckle from you once more. “Who knew the Devil could be this adorable?”

You cupped his face and eyed the hat still upon his head before smiling. “Let me tell you the story about Mummy kissing Santa Claus first. I think then you might be more willing to dress as the jolly man himself next Christmas.”

_________________

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[ka-za-ri]

Descent Pt. 1

I told myself I was gonna take a break. I lied. I wanted to write a whole bin of Sin for Simeon. I’m sorry, not sorry at all. Let me know if you want to be a part of the tag list: Chapter Masterlist: Here Crossposted on Ao3: here Part [1] Part [2] Part [3] Part 4: [4] Part [5] Part [6] Part [7] Part [8] Part [9] Part [10]

Paring: Simeon x Reader Wordcount: 4,900 ish Genre: Smut Tags: Masturbation, Voyeurism, hints of dirty talk? Summary: Sent from the Celestial realm to observe and study humans; Simeon made a name for himself as the illustrious author of The Tales of the Seven Lords. After reaching acclaim for his first series, he's having trouble writing his next great hit. Good thing you're there for him as his manager and editor to help him work out the... kinks in writing.

Trip

The most dangerous aspect of humans was their innate ability to tempt even the most stalwart and steadfast of angels into a world of sin. Simeon was not immune to their ways, no matter how reclusive he became. It was easy to study them from afar, learning about them through numbers and sales numbers. The masses were easy to sway with a few pretty words. Blending in with humans was a trivial task for him. All he had to do was make a few public appearances for book signings and some launch parties for a new series; otherwise he was free to observe and study from afar. 

After the international success of The Tale of The Seven Lords, Simeon found himself feeling rather empty. He needed a new project to keep him entertained in the human realm. However, no matter what he started to work on, it didn’t inspire the same sort of passion he had for his older series. He needed a new genre, a new style of writing to refresh his passion for words. If he was going to make it in an ever changing market, he would need to adapt as well. Yet, no matter what genre he tried, every draft he came up with seemed too mundane and overdone. 

Everything except, for the temptation of writing something much more salacious than his last work. 

Just entertaining the thought had him on a slippery slope of falling from the grace of the Celestial realm. Sure, the strict protocols of olde had been loosened over the centuries. Many angels realized that enforcing perfect adherence to the standards of purity set so long ago no longer applied to modern times. Rules had been loosened and enforcement had relaxed to the point where Simeon was almost positive if he wrote an absolutely obscene novel, he didn’t risk losing his Celestial powers. 

The only problem was that he had no experience in the genre at all. He threw together a vague plot and outline, thinking it would be all he needed to inspire him. Surprisingly enough, the publishing house allowed for the drastic change in genre, confident that he would be able to create another best seller. Just having that much trust put in him made him want to succeed even more with the haphazard novel idea. 

But, despite his determination to make his new manuscripts lewd, he was at a complete loss as to what, and how to write them properly. The outline he presented to you seemed excellent on paper. Even if it had a few plot holes, you knew he could patch them up with a little work. So, it was natural that you would push the approval and leave him to his own devices to work on the manuscript. You were sure that an author of his caliber would be able to break into a new branch of the literary market without any issues. 

But, after several months of waiting, you had no contact at all from him regarding the progress of his new book. The industry needed proof of his work in order to justify their investment in him. Being so renowned, the pressure was on him to create something magnificent. You could only imagine the kind of stress he was going through and as his manager and editor, you were responsible for making sure he met deadlines. You hated to rush his process, but there was no way he could meet the dates set by the publisher if he didn’t give you something to work with soon. 

After trying to reach out to him several times by phone and email with little to no response, the only option left was to go to his abode and see just what he was hiding from. No other outline he submitted had passed so this was his one and only chance to continue his writing career. You patiently waited after knocking on his door, hoping he would answer and wasn’t going to ignore you any further. You knew how serious writer’s block could be; but you hoped he wouldn’t let that get in the way of being a professional. 

Luckily, the door opened soon enough and you were ushered in by an extremely tired and frazzled looking Simeon. He lead you to his office after you had taken off your shoes and changed into the guest slippers he offered. Simeon didn’t speak to you during the whole exchange, a shell of the soft spoken and attentive author you had come to know after so many years of working with him. He shuffled into his office, an obvious slouch in his posture and slumped behind his desk before gesturing at the empty chair across from him. 

“I’m guessing you know why I’m here.” You said and he sighed in resignation, burrowing his head in his hands and running them through his hair. You felt terrible adding stress onto him, he looked ragged, like he hadn’t slept in days. The bags under his eyes were so dark, they almost looked like deep bruises. 

“Yes… You want a manuscript…” his normally soft voice sounded hoarse and you wondered if he had eaten or drunken anything at all that day. “I’m almost done with the first draft… would you like to come and see?” He turned his laptop towards you and you started reading what he had so far. 

All seemed well and good at first. The characters were believable and the premise, though a bit cheesy, was definitely acceptable for the genre. The further you read, the more you noticed large gaps in his writing. Whole paragraphs seemed to be missing and sentences ended midway. Dialog was left unfinished and by the time you reached the end of the first chapter, it was a mess. You could already feel the inevitable headache you were going to get from editing for him. 

“Uhm…”

“Yeah, I know. It’s not my best work.” 

He tried to smile, but the emotion didn’t reach his eyes. You reached out to him and held his hand, rubbing your thumb in reassuring circles on his palm. “You’ve worked hard on it, still. What’s got you so hung up though?” 

He got a little flustered at your question, nervously running his hand through his hair and looking to the side. Writing such a topic with no experience in it was proving to be difficult for him. He could research all he wanted and consume all the media he could to aid him, but there was just something missing. His lack of knowledge was showing and he wasn’t sure how he could keep being composed about his failure so far. He gestured at the screen and shrugged, trying to get his message across without using words; but, when he saw your confused expression, he had to speak. “I don’t know what I’m doing.” he finally admitted. “I want to write this so badly, but I don’t know how to… describe the scenes the way I want to.” 

You sat back in the chair, crossing your arms over your chest and nodding. You could only imagine the difficulty he was having in producing the quality content you were sure he was used to coming up with. With deadlines looming above your head, you needed at least a chapter to submit to the publishing house so they knew actual work was being done. You sighed, trying to think of ways to jump start his creativity. The gloomy atmosphere of his office didn’t seem help. The lights were dim and the curtains were all drawn. It didn’t feel like a place that could invoke the imagery he was going for. “Let’s move somewhere.” you suggested finally. “Do you have a room with lots of sunlight? Maybe a change of mood will help.” 

“Ah… there’s the sunroom..” he said. “But I don’t know if just changing where I am writing will help the situation. If it hasn’t gotten done here, I doubt it will anywhere else.” 

“Just try it.” you encouraged, already unplugging his laptop and taking it with you. “It’s so gloomy in here, even I’m getting depressed just sitting around. Come on, which way is it?” 

“Ah… this way.” He said, shamefully shuffling out from behind his desk and showing you the way to the sunroom which overlooked a rather well manicured garden with a variety of flowers in full bloom. You marveled at the bright, airy feel of the room and took a second to really appreciate his choice in decor. 

“Wow, would have never pegged you as the kind of guy who gardens.” You teased, flopping onto the couch he had in there and lounged in its plush confines. Looking through the glass ceiling, you watched a few clouds drift by while Simeon got comfortable in a recliner in the corner of the room. You could tell he was still a bit frustrated, but you knew getting him some sun would do him good. 

“Well, when I don’t have any pressing deadlines, being with the plants helps relieve stress. It’s unfortunate that I cannot give you a tour this time.” 

“There’s plenty of opportunities in the future. They’re not going anywhere, and neither am I. You know I’m going to keep hounding you until your manuscript is finished.” 

He chuckled, nodding and opening up his laptop. You let silence pass between the two of you, going back to watching the clouds while the sound of his fingers flying across the keyboard lulled you into a daydream like state. You grabbed onto one of the large, decorative pillows he had on the couch, clutching it against your chest while you made up stories in your head about the clouds above. If you weren’t so stressed about turning something into the publishing house so soon; it would have been a perfect, calming afternoon. 

The clack of the keyboard stopped after a little bit. Whatever inspiration Simeon had when he entered the room seemed to have fizzled out and he was stuck in yet another rut, writing one word and deleting it over and over again. You sighed, turning to watch him as he gnawed on his thumb, mumbling to himself. 

“What’s not working?” You asked, your curiosity piqued. 

“Just… this scene… it’s not working. I can’t envision it.” He grumbled. Looking up at where you were laying on his couch, clutching onto the pillow, he was suddenly struck by a brilliant plan. The worry lines on his forehead disappeared and he broke out into a slight smile when he realized how he could get his creative juices flowing. “Help me… I need inspiration.” 

You sat up straight, ready to assist in any way you could. “Okay, what do you want me to do?” You asked. 

Simeon squinted, in the right light, you looked similar to the main character he had written. His plan could work if you reenacted the scene he had in mind. The issue was actually explaining the scene to you in a way that didn’t make his body feel overheated. He was already playing with fire by writing such a lewd book, pushing his limits further felt like he was sliding right down a slope heading towards a great fall. There was no other way, he reasoned. As long as I do not defile her, it’ll be fine. Taking a deep breath, he got up from where he was and walked over to you. 

“I need you to…. Uhm… Well.. how do I say this… I’m having trouble writing a love making scene and I need some… visual aids.” You blinked, processing his request and then looked him up and down, feeling your whole body heat up at once. You were sure you had kept your crush on him a secret. To have him ask you so suddenly to provide visual aid for an explicit novel felt like too big of a jump for you to comprehend. “Oh… Oh no, no, no. You don’t have to do anything with me.” He said, gesturing wildly when he saw you pointedly stare at his crotch. “You can just pretend that this is the ‘lover.’” He took the pillow from your arms and laid it on the couch. 

You didn’t know if you should have felt relived or disappointed that he wanted you to reenact a sex scene with a pillow and not him. It was all quite a bit to take in, but the desperate pout on his face was something you couldn’t ignore. And both your jobs were on the line. You sighed in resignation. “Okay, okay… But only because we have deadlines coming up.” You said. “You’re lucky you’re cute. I wouldn’t do this for anyone else.” 

Simeon smiled for the first time that day, hurriedly moving back to his computer and preparing to take notes on what you were doing. “I’m ready when you are.” he announced once he opened up a separate document. 

“You sure you don’t want me to just, you know… do you?” You asked, cocking an eyebrow as you started to undress. It was embarrassing for sure; but part of you relished in seeing Simeon so flustered when it came to the nature of lewd things. You wondered why he had bothered submitting such an outline at all when he wasn’t familiar with how to write erotica; but his determination to branch out to other genres had won you over in the end. It just fell upon your shoulders to show this man how it was done. 

“I… No… I can’t. I need to write.” He stuttered. Do not defile her, do not defile her. Her womb is sacred and not something you can toy with… Even if he wanted the first hand experience, he still had rules to abide by. 

“Alright, whatever you say. You’re the boss.” You shrugged, unbuttoning your blouse. “Don’t forget, part of the sexiness is in the tease.” You explained, taking your time to sway your hips side to side as each button came undone. Trying to seduce a pillow was so much more boring than trying to seduce Simeon. The things I do for this job… 

You made sure to waggle your ass as you peeled off your pants, tossing them to the side along with your blouse. There was something thrilling about being in a room made of glass. Any woodland creature that decided to come visit his garden at that moment would also get an eyeful of your progressively bare body. The rush of having Simeon watch you as you stripped had your heart racing. 

At the very least, you knew your efforts weren’t in vain. You could hear the furious clacking of the keyboard as you gave the pillow in front of you a sultry look. As lame as it all was, it was still rather arousing to know you were being watched by the man who you had crushed on for so long now. “Alright… sir. I’m going to need you to lay down. You have a problem that only I can take care of.” You said to the pillow. You tried hard not to laugh at how ridiculous the scenario was. It wouldn’t do to break the mood, especially when you could tell Simeon was definitely getting some writing done. 

You got back onto the couch, straddling the pillow between your legs once you were in nothing but your underthings. Licking your lips, you pretended that Simeon was under you and not the decorative cushion. If you closed your eyes, you could almost feel his lean body under your own, squirming in discomfort as you took control of the scenario. There was just something about how gentle and soft spoken he was that made  your heart flutter with the need to dominate him until he was a flushed, moaning mess. 

Using that fantasy in your mind, you slowly started to gyrate your hips onto the pillow, throwing your head back and moaning. “Oh yes…” You breathed, pleasantly surprised at the stimulation you got from the friction of your panties rubbing against your spread core. You hummed, content with the thought of Simeon holding onto your hips to keep your steady. If he wanted to watch, then you were going to give him the best show available. 

You grasped at your breasts, teasing your nipples through the fabric of your bra until they were sensitive little buds that made you gasp. As you continued to grind against the pillow, you could feel your essence starting to flow, no doubt you were going to leave quite a substantial wet mark on the pillow if you continued. You wanted to pause and warn Simeon of what was about to happen; but when you turned and saw the look of concentration on his face, you didn’t dare break his focus. 

He’ll just have to deal with it later… You figured going back to that happy place in your mind where the writer in front of you was actually under you. Closing your eyes, you imagined what it would be like to hear him moan as you pressed your heat against his cock. Surely he must sound absolutely angelic when he cums. Pushing slipping your hands under your bra, you pushed the fabric away, peeled it off your skin and threw it into a random corner to pick up later. “You have no idea how hot you look right now.” You purred, looking down at the cushions below you, wishing you had something sexier to talk dirty to; but you would have to make do with what you had. 

Leaning down, you grabbed a pillow to act as your ‘lovers’ head and started to kiss it. It was so hard to ignore just how disappointing it was to make out with a lump of fabric and not the beautiful man in the corner who was so engrossed with his writing, you might as well have been invisible to him. You could only use your imagination to fantasize about how soft Simeon’s lips must be. He always took such good care of his skin and he had an ethereal glow about him, as if he was blessed by the sun itself. You moaned into the pillow, hating the rough canvas you were pressed up against, but at least your pussy was getting something out of how much you were humping the pillow. 

You came up, gasping for air after having half smothered yourself with a pillow and glanced over at Simeon again. Even as he was furiously typing, you could see that he was at least a little affected by the show you were putting on. Good, I would have hated myself if he’s not even a smidgen turned on by this. You smirked, looking down at your ‘lover’ and pretended to whisper sweet nothings to them before getting off the couch. 

Simeon made a small sound of protest when he saw that you were no longer straddling the pillow, but he quickly shut up when he saw that you were divesting yourself of your panties. “Oh… carry on.” He mumbled, going back to his document, though his eyes continuously flicked up towards you to make sure he was capturing the moment properly. 

Feeling your bare pussy rub against the rough fabric of the pillow sent shivers of pleasure up and down your body and you moaned, riding it harder than before. The stimulation was great, but it wasn’t enough. Really, you wanted to have Simeon buried balls deep in you and not at his computer. However, your priority was your job and that meant sticking to what you had to work with. “Fuck…” You groaned, clenching your inner walls around nothing and wishing that you had at least a toy to fill you up and give you something to ride. 

You ground against the pillow, your essence soaking the fabric and leaving a sizable wet mark, but you didn’t care. It was all the stimulation you could get and you were going to work it for all it was worth. One hand went back up to your breast, rolling your pert nipple between your thumb and forefinger, whining at the mixture of pain and pleasure you were giving yourself. “Yeah… you like watching me touch myself, babe?” You asked no one in particular; but truthfully, you hoped Simeon was really enjoying what he saw and heard.. 

His fingers on the keyboard never ceased moving as he vividly described the scene before him. He was so wrapped up in his work, he didn’t even notice himself getting hard. There was too much to write and no time to think about the attention the rest of his body was asking for. He licked his lips, his gaze constantly going back and forth from the document to your body. You were acting out the scene so well, he couldn’t stop writing; he needed to record every detail. You were everything he had imagined his main character to be; effortlessly confident, commanding in the bedroom and dripping with sex appeal. Even if it was a spur of the moment suggestion, he had no regrets considering he was getting so much more writing done in the last half hour than he had in the past two months. 

Your breathing came out in short little pants as you tried to chase a release that just wouldn’t come with so little to work with. You reached between your legs to fondle your sensitive clit, groaning loudly as you made love to yourself. You didn’t know how long the scene was supposed to be, but your thighs were getting tired of riding an inanimate object and you just wanted to get off now. 

“Mm fuck.. You feel so good…” You breathed, closing your eyes and imagining Simeon sliding inside of you. The first pass must feel so good. You fantasized about lowering yourself onto his cock slowly letting him savor every inch that entered you. In your head, his bright blue eyes glittered in lust, watching his dick disappear into you until your hips met and he would moan at the feeling of being completely buried in you. “Yeah… just like that…” You moaned, rubbing circles at your clit while your inner walls clenched rhythmically at air. 

You went back to dragging your pussy across the fabric of the pillow smearing your essence all over to get as much out of the scenario as you could. Your fingers rubbed your clit harder, pushing you ever closer and closer to release. “Oh… Oh… I’m so close…” You whined, announcing your climax mere seconds before it happened. The last push you needed was looking over at Simeon and seeing him completely engrossed in what you were doing. His fingers frozen on the keyboard and his comfortable pants with a rather impressive tent in them. 

“Fuck. Simeon.” you cursed, cumming all over the pillow. Your fingers slowed their pace around your clit, rubbing your labia back and forth as you rode out the orgasm. You fell forward onto the pillows beneath you, still slowly humping them while you let the initial high pass and the afterglow set in. It wasn’t until the haze of pleasure passed that you realized you had called his name while getting off on his couch in front of him. 

Simeon swallowed hard, trying to ignore the way you called his name. Everything had gone smoothly until you had cried out for him while in the throes of your climax. He had stopped everything he was doing just mere moments before you did that; and now, he didn’t know if he had the mental capacity to continue with what he was writing. 

For once, he was tempted to throw away whatever celestial blessings he had to take you and be the real reason why you screamed his name. 

Shoving the indecent thoughts to the back of his head, he turned back to his document, writing a sentence and erasing it, repeating the action over and over again while his brain looped the beautiful image of you as you came on his couch. Now, he noticed the tightness in his pants, the obvious boner he sported as a result of such an experiment. But, he couldn’t be mad at it. He had achieved a groove in writing and he was sure he could finish the draft you needed in time.

Simeon let you rest a bit and gather yourself together on the couch. No doubt both of you were aware of the slip, but he could pretend it didn’t affect him as much as it did. Eventually, you had the courage to look back up at him, only to find him busily typing away at his computer. Sighing, and running your hand through your hair amused that he could stay so calm, you got up and started to get dressed. “So, I’m guessing moving somewhere else worked?” you asked, keeping your tone light. 

“Hmm… yes.” He agreed, half paying attention to what you were doing. He couldn’t bear to look at you while you were exposed and waited patiently until you were fully clothed until he made eye contact and spoke to you again. “I definitely got some good notes in. I’ll just need a little more time to flesh out some of the filler scenes and I’ll email you the draft in a couple of days.” 

You let out a laugh, surprised that he was able to focus on work still after what he had just witnessed. He truly was as innocent as he presented himself to be sometimes. “Alright, well. I’ll look forward to reading it.” 

“Will you be back?” he asked, looking at you with hopeful eyes. “You were so helpful, I think I might need more help for the rest of the book.” Not, like I want to see something like that again… No, I just need it for research purposes… 

“You know I’ll be back.” You laughed heartily, ruffling his hair. “I have to bother you at least once a month to make sure you’re on schedule to finish.” 

Simeon slouched into his chair and let out a soft laugh in relief. “Of course, how could I forget.” In his mind, he was already planning new scenarios for you to play out. There would be much more research to be done, and supplies to be obtained before your next visit. But, all those things could wait. For now, he closed his laptop, noticing how low on battery it had gotten.Time had slipped by him, the sun already well on its way past the horizon. “It’s getting late…” He commented, trying to change the subject to something a little safer than the masturbation session you just had in front of him. 

“Yeah… I’ll get going and let you work in peace.” In a moment of bold recklessness, you stepped forward and planted a quick kiss on his cheek. “See you next time, babe. Can’t wait to see what you’re gonna make me do for you.” you teased, giving him a coy wink before showing yourself out.

As soon as the door was firmly shut, Simeon let out a deep sigh, laughing out loud at the predicament he had put himself into. He wanted to quit everything and dissolve into the ground. He wanted to continue writing and see your body writhe in pleasure. He wanted to also defile you and sate himself inside of you. Most of all though, there was a growing darkness within him, one he didn’t even notice just yet; and that part of him craved to see you put in your place to beg for him like the god he knew he was. 

Pushing all his desires down and curbing his lust for the time being, he moved his computer back to his office and let it charge for the rest of the evening. His mind still swirled with the image of your exposed body riding that pillow in the sunroom. The early evening sunset made your body glow with an almost angelic light; and for once, he felt jealous of an inanimate object.

Quietly padding back into the sunroom, he looked at the soiled cushion; feeling a surge of heat rush through him when he saw the wet spot you had left behind. Licking his lips, he approached it like it was a wild animal, tentatively poking at it. If he closed his eyes, he could pretend to still feel your warmth lingering on the fabric. He could feel shame rising up in him as he laid down on the couch, rested his head on the pillow and took a deep breath, memorizing the scent of your arousal. 

His hand reached down between his legs, slipping past his pants and to his hard length that needed his attention. Turning his head to smother his moans and to surround himself with your unique smell, he teased and pleased himself, putting himself in the scenario you had played out just mere moments ago. 

“Oh… oh fuck…” He groaned surprised at how little effort it took to make him cum and ruin his pants to the thought of you bouncing on his cock and calling his name. He was quickly falling down the deep end of temptation and he could feel the darkness of sin encroaching. 

The scariest part was the fact that he didn’t care at all. 

[cosplayingwitch]

"Presentation is Everything"

Part two of "Finding My Way Home" series

Takes place 6-8 months after the last chapter

Prompt: flowers

Pairing: f!reader x Poe Dameron

Summary: Reader has graduated with their masters and had to leave their roommate/best friend/(crush?) behind as they go on to a doctoral program at a different university. Reader is about to present her work at a professional conference and an unexpected surprise calms her down.

Triggers: panic attack, slight stalker-ish behavior, these two being complete idiots, swearing

Tags: @make-me-imagine

It’d been over six months since you’d seen your best friend, Poe Dameron. You were successful enough with your thesis (even while practically teaching a field class for Professor Solo) and graduated with your Masters degree. And with the help of Professor Solo’s recommendation, you'd gotten into your dream school for your PhD.

Which meant moving two states away from your best friend/roommate. Not exactly something you’d wanted to do, but this wasn’t an opportunity you could turn down.

When you’d told Poe, he was very supportive, but still sad about the whole thing. You’d definitely stay in touch, you insisted. There was social media, zoom, all of that.

“Plus we could always meet up somewhere between us!” you told him. “It wouldn’t be more than a couple hours for each of us.”

That didn’t mean you didn’t miss him. His random breaking into song at what could be described as the worst possible times. What he always described as his ‘fact of the day’, which always dissolved into a random string of thoughts. (He still sent you his ‘fact of the day’ via text, but it wasn’t the same without his commentary.)

Remembering the night you spent stargazing, you also realized you missed your chance to tell him how you felt. To outright ask him out on a date. You always rationalized the urge away as not wanting to ruin your friendship, as him probably not feeling the same way as you. Who knows if he was even into girls (or anyone at all). In the many years you’d lived together, he’d never brought someone back to the apartment you shared.

(That’s because he wanted you, your heart shouted at you, you’re an idiot to let that go. But your brain insisted there had to be other reasons.)

Either way, the research you’d done with Professor Solo didn’t just get you into your doctoral program. You’d be presenting at a research conference soon. On your own. (That was a theme with Professor Solo. He’d help you start something, then insist you do the rest of the work.) This was your first time even attending this conference, let alone presenting at one. My god, you thought. How am I supposed to do this? Alone?

This will go down in flames, the voice in your head continued. You’ll fuck it up and ruin your academic reputation. And then never get your doctorate or a job.

When you get to your hotel the day before the conference was set to begin, every worry you’d ever had was spinning through your head. All the ways you could screw up nearly had you in a panic attack. Oh god, you thought, please let me get to my room before I start hyperventilating.

But then, you entered your room to find flowers. Yellow roses with a hint of red. Your favorite.

There was only one person on the planet who knew that. Poe Dameron. But how did he know where to send the flowers? Was he stalking you? The card read:

‘For my friend who I haven’t seen in forever,

My friend who is likely in a panic attack,

My friend who will kill it with her presentation.

You don’t need it, but good luck.’

God, he could write. And it’d been six months and hundreds of miles, but he still knew you well enough to anticipate what you were feeling right now.

In an instant you had your phone out and were calling him.

“Well look who finally called. I guess the flowers did the trick?” Poe answered.

“How did you even know where to send them? I never told you where I was staying! Are you stalking me or something?”

Poe explained, “Well, while you didn’t tell me the hotel you were in, you did tell me every other detail about the conference. And their website had the ‘official hotel’ of the conference, so I figured you’d stay there. The office there wouldn’t say if you were, but did tell me I could get flowers delivered there and he’d make sure they went where they needed to go. I took the chance. Obviously it worked, you called me and I didn’t even leave my name on the card.”

“You could say that. Thanks, by the way. You were right, I’m starting to freak out. I’m presenting my research tomorrow. The stuff I did for my masters. All these other presenters already have their doctorates.” you reason with him. “Maybe I’ll get there someday.”

Poe about exploded through the phone. “MAYBE? MAYBE you’ll get that degree ‘some day’? I did NOT lose my best friend to another university three states away to ‘maybe’ get a degree. You WILL get it. Not tomorrow, but eventually.”

You couldn’t tell if he was angry, joking, or trying to encourage you. A mix of the three? Somehow it did feel like he was trying to give you a pep talk. Break you out of the panic setting in and focus you back on the goal. He knew how much you wanted this and he would never discourage you from going after it.

“Okay then. How about you tell me about what’s going on back home and take my mind off this whole thing.”

Oh god, you thought. You referred to where he was as home. I mean the university, you rationalize, the place where I just lived and studied for six years. Poe’ll probably think that’s the case anyway. You certainly did not mean him.

“Well, you know while you’ve been gone, I went and knocked off another thing on my bucket list. I’m a few weeks away from having my pilot’s license!” Poe stated, which sent you into a small laughing fit. You knew he’d always wanted to, but with his awful driving skills you never thought it’d actually happen.

“Good for you, I guess. Just be careful- I definitely don’t need my best friend dying in a plane crash.”

When you finally got off the phone with Poe, it was late. You’d had room service delivered while you were still talking, him likewise with delivery. In some ways, it was like you were back together again, having dinner on the coffee table while gossiping about the faculty and staff at the university. Who was having an affair, who was being suspected of plagiarism, whatever the next big scandal would be and how the university would cover it up this time.

It was just the thing you needed to make you relax. Your boyfriend best friend supporting you.

You stopped yourself. Not again. Poe was not your boyfriend. He was a friend and nothing more. And you certainly weren’t screwing that up.

Somewhere in the back of your mind, or maybe the bottom of your heart, you couldn’t help but think of him in a romantic way. That maybe your relationship with Poe could evolve into something more. Maybe even hope for that happy ending. After all, he could have just texted you good luck, but he chose to send your favorite flowers and a beautifully written card.

That would count as a romantic overture in your mind. If you were in some kind of cheesy rom-com with him, that is.

Friends. Nothing more. Nothing less. Friends. You remind yourself.

Friends.

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Poe kept running that conversation over in his mind for days. I was a fucking idiot for sending her flowers, he thought. The note was even worse. Both were definitely something romantic, but he didn’t want you to know that he felt that way about you.

Then you asked about ‘what was going on back home’. Home. Poe asked himself if you meant the university as home, you’d been there for more than six years. Or did you mean him? Your formerly-shared apartment? Was your intention to say you considered the apartment, and him as an extension, as your home?

God, Poe thought. I’m way over thinking it.

But what if she meant that in the same way I meant the flowers? He asked himself. Some kind of idiotic slip of the mind that was only there because of underlying feelings?

Her slip of the tongue wasn’t as bad as his flowers, but it gave him some kind of hope that someday you might actually be a couple, growing your friendship into something more. But he pushed this hope out of his mind as best he could.

After all, they were only friends. Friends only. Nothing more. Nothing less. Just really good friends who know each other's favorite flowers and things that could send them into panic attacks. Friends who lived and studied together for long enough to practically be family.

Home? Just the university they went to. And where he just happened to live, too.

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Author's Note: So I used this type of flower because they are my personal favorite, but then I decided to look up the 'meaning' behind them... I suggest you do the same... (not intentional, but a really nice coincidence for this)

Also, I'll be updating this again next weekend with posts on Saturday and Sunday. Let me know if you want to be tagged in future chapters!

[austarus]

HR Wells x Reader Scars Across Time

**A/N: The picture/edit/gif does not belong to me. It belongs to @acewest360

Word Count: 6245

*Hey everyone! Please remember to hit that reblog button as well as liking and following! Sharing the content makes the world spin~ This is probably going to be the last fic I post until winter break. Things have not been going too well for me, I rarely have time to sit down for myself and write or play pokemon at all. But I promise I’ll be back with more fics and series parts with the winter season

“I can’t feel my fingers.”

“And this is why we keep our gloves on,” you emphasized, taking your gloves off and handing it to him to wear as the two of you walked to your apartment, “especially during a snowball fight.”

“But you’ve got to admit, I nailed BA pretty hard.”

“You did,” you giggled and pecked his rosy-cold cheek. “And I’m proud that you did. Knock some sense into him and Harry while you’re at it.” You mumbled the latter part to yourself. The other Wells doppelganger was still having trouble with his daughter, who’s back on Earth-2. She had ‘kicked him off his own Earth’.

“It’s too bad Jesse wasn’t here; I think she would have liked it.”

“She’s still upset with Harry, HR.”

HR did a half shrug, side-glancing at you as he took your hand in his, “She missed all the failed igloos and speedy snow angels, the laughs and arguments we all ended up having on who cheated or not.”

“She’s busy on her Earth being the Flash, though. That must be taking priority over everything else.”

“I know,” he sighed, taking your hand into his. You felt how frigid they were through the knitted gloves you had given him. His eyes met yours are the two of you walked, the chilly air piercing the layers you have on. The novelist hoped that his doppelgangers daughter has been taking care of herself as she takes care of her city. “Harry shouldn’t have avoided her and the issue between them though, that’ll only create a greater rift between them. I know he’s not good with emotions, but… Something doesn’t feel right, like… it just doesn’t add up.”

You only offered the novelist a half-shrug, not really knowing what to say. “I think they’ll end up talking it out, whatever it is that happened between them. They’ll eventually get through it together.” You unlocked the door to your apartment and pushed it open. The door creaked nastily from its hinges; you’ve been meaning to fix that. “Now, let’s first get you inside and thawed out, I’m pretty sure I have some cold sludge stuck down the back of my shirt.”

The two of you entered your cozy apartment, kicking off any spare snow remnant that had clung onto your boots and clothes. Both you and HR left your boots by the door. A shiver ran down your spine, the ice-water mix shifted in your shirt as you moved uncomfortably through your home. You attempted to not track any water on the hardwood floors, eagerly locating some dry towels while HR brought a laundry basket from one of the rooms. The taller man returned with one as you handed him a fluffy towel. You and HR stripped off the winter-y layers of clothes, placing them into the basket. Your long-sleeve shirt clung to your skin, the cool damp cloth making you a bit antsy to get out of it. The Earth-19 being took the basket to throw in the washer, adding in the appropriate amount of detergent and softener. He whistled throughout completing his task, towel around his neck. HR started drying his hair off as he walked back to the living room.

You turned on the weather channel, overhearing Iris mention something about a serious storm going to hit. Flipping through the channels, you finally landed on the Central City News station and just in time for the weather spokesperson to come on screen. The woman fully articulated the severity the storm could cause as well as how many inches of snow to expect with an estimated time. HR’s ears had perked up, eyeing you from behind the couch as you watched the news. You ran a hand through your damp-ish hair before deciding to set it in a towel turban. Well, it’s a good thing I went grocery shopping yesterday. I should still have the portable heater that Cisco made just in case. The candles and matches should be in a spare drawer somewhere.

You glanced over your shoulder to see HR with chaotically messy hair and the collar of his shirt soaked. You nibbled on your bottom lip while setting down the TV remote. “Hey, um… HR do you want to stay over the night? There’s a winter storm coming and stuff,” You sheepishly wrung your fingers for wanting to ask him to stay the night when you knew he probably had an upcoming deadline to meet. Am I being selfish? I’m mean… we’ve been together for almost a little bit over a year now. Gah, fuck, I’m overthinking again. Stupid past relationship trauma and emotional distress. You just didn’t want to inconvenience him.

You will never deny how safe you felt around him, how you didn’t need to be careful of how to act. You can be you. And HR can be the dorkily cute novelist that he is with no filter in regard to his ideas and thoughts and expressions. The two of you complimented each other, two wounded souls just fixing and adoring each other. It took a couple of weeks for you to open up about your past relationships to the novelist, which he listened with understanding and concern taking hold in his eyes. He had done the same thing you had done. HR had proposed to ask three questions and you would need to answer fully and honestly with the reward in return. A reward of something you had long forgotten because having HR understand your past like you had done with him caused your heart to swell to a grand scale.

HR’s gaze softened at you, a gentle smile gracing his lips. “I don’t mind staying the night.” It’s so much better than sharing space with one grumpy scientist back at the labs who’ll probably hurl objects at me if I do anything out of line in his eyes. He saw that bit of insecurity eating at you, and he would do all he can to brush it away. Your insecurities had lessened over time, but every now and then it pops back up. But it’s understandable, you were trying your best to be a good and considerate girlfriend.

HR’s heart melted when you perked up, a bright smile crossing your face as if your sullen thoughts had washed away in an instant. “That means we can even make s’mores tonight!”

“How-“

“-I bought this handy dandy electric s’mores maker-”

“-Birdy, we’ve talked about this. You can’t buy every single thing from Amazon.”

“But… but the s’mores.”

“Do I need to take your debit card from you?” HR joked at the pout you had given him, the both of you knowing he would actually do no such thing. But he worried of these little impulse buys you get yourself into. Especially when prompted by Cisco, Iris, and Caitlin.

“I will fucking fight you.”

“No, you won’t.”

“You’re right, I love you too much.”

“Was it really necessary though?”

“… Yes, the state of my survival depends on it.”

“Liar,” HR sighed to himself. “I’m guessing Cisco and Iris happened to be browsing through Amazon again when they got bored? And you happened to be with them? Browsing from page to page, especially the bargains section.”

“… Maybe~”

“…”

“Don’t worry, I made sure I paid my rent and taken care of the apartment before deciding to buy the s’mores maker.”

“Good.”

“Plus, I really bought it for you.” HR felt the tips of his ears warm a bit. “You said it was one of the things you used to make with your mom, but now you just don’t have the time to camp or be by a fire to make them. So… I got this for when you’d come over and stuff…”

“How did I ever get so lucky to have someone as precious as you in my life, my little birdy?”

Your giggle allowed his heart to jump through hoops. Hail started pounding on the windows of your apartment catching both your attentions. “We should probably go wash up. I think I still have some clothes you left when you slept over a few times.” An idea lit up brilliantly in your mind, your brain already gathering the necessary materials.

A smile graced HR’s face, feeling his heart flutter as you shuffled to gather his clothes. I would do anything for you. The taller man looked out the window, observing the outside world ravaging in the heaviness of white fluff. The power might go out soon. If we’re lucky, then it doesn’t. But mother nature doesn’t seem to be letting up anytime soon. “Which drawer are they in?” He questioned, padding off to your bedroom but throwing a glance at you.

“I think they might be in the top left drawer,” you lied to him, needing to buy some time. “I’m not really sure. But if not, you’ll have to look around for them in my closet or something.”

You hurried to the bathroom once he was out of sight, stepping closer to the closet. Twisting the handle, you were greeted with towels on one shelf and scented candles on another. Now, what to choose. You opted for the scents of Balsam-Cedar and Autumn Leaves from Yankee Candle. Scattering the small candle containers around the tub, you made sure they were positioned in a place to avoid any fires. This is going to look simply divine. You mused a cheery hum from your lips as you worked fast. The electric lighter was in a drawer along with the bath bombs for relaxation. You contemplated whether the tiny flower petals were a bit overkill, then figured that it would be. I’m extra as fuck anyway, so why the hell not. You pulled out the mason jar filled with pastel pink-blue hydrangea and hibiscus petals. With everything set up, you just had to fill up the tub with water and work your magic. Shutting off the bathroom lights, you shuffled over to your room right as HR let out an ‘aha!’ when he found his checkered cotton pajama bottoms.

“Come take a bath with me,” you started, taking his hand and squeezing it meaningfully with jubilant warmth within your eyes. “We can warm up faster in less time before the storm cuts out the power.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to…” He trailed off; his other arm held his clothes to his chest. You knew what he meant and nodded assumingly. An ex many years ago had tried to drown you once, but… Your ex isn’t HR. The man in front of you is considerate, kind, dorky, and quirky. The man in front of you is more wholesome and beautiful inside and out than any other man you had been with. You knew the novelist would never dream of hurting you. We’ve proven that much to each other in the past year, we wouldn’t hurt each other no matter what.

“I trust you, HR.” You leaned up and kissed his nose gingerly, “You know I feel safer around you.”

“And I, you,” the taller man allowed you to tug him to the bathroom once you had pulled out your own pajamas and undergarments.

“Before we go inside, I’m going to need to you wait out here for a few moments.”

“Interesting. What are you planning, little birdy?”

“Who? Lil ol’ me? Nothing really!” You responded with a cheeky grin before entering the bathroom. HR just kept that boyish smirk on his face then sneezed. God, he loves you, but he needed to get out of these clothes soon. Another sneeze left him when the sound of water graced the silence in the apartment. The hail had stopped, but heavier clumps of packing snow fell onto the city.

“Done~” you mused with childish delight, opening the bathroom door and ushering him inside. HR held his breath as the scents of the forest greeted him. The candles were beautifully lit around the tub, flickering and wavering as it cradled the bathroom with a dim glow. The bathroom lights were off to allow the candles to work their magic in the darkness. Neither of you would deny the warmth the candles brought as the flames danced happily in their respective glass communities. Scents of cedar oak, maple trees, and autumn leaves flourished in the air, but it wasn’t overbearing. The running water moved gently as you had begun to strip down and out of your clothes. Your movements shook HR out of his trance, tugging his own clothes off, but stopped short of shrugging his pants off when he saw all of you. Your eyes caught his intense gaze. A tight knot formed in the pit of your stomach.

“HR?”

“You’re…” He couldn’t find the right words. Any word couldn’t justify the beauty in front of him. “You’re elegantly divine.” Is what he settled for as he felt hot oil splash onto his cheeks.

“It’s not something you haven’t seen before.”

“It’s something that I hope I don’t have the misfortune to never see.”

You screamed on the inside as your mind started spinning at his desire. A smug grin grew on his face as you looked away, stumbling over to a jar on the sink counter. HR fully stripped, coming up behind you with his arms encasing you and strong hands resting on your hips as he watched. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head. You leaned back into him, dropping a good two handfuls of flower petals into the water. His body, while chilled from your earlier winter-y activities still provided your own with a spectacle of warmth. Goosebumps gradually ran over every in of your skin. The taller man watched you with tired eyes.

“You know you’re going to have to let me go so we can wash up, right?”

HR pouted, to which you leaned up on your tippy toes to try to kiss his pout away. “Fine, but I think we both deserve some time to cuddle.”

“I was going to trap you in bed, regardless.”

A quiet laugh left his lips. Breaking away from his sturdy limbs and wonderfully sculpted body, you rifled through a drawer for a bath bomb. Milk and Honey~ Unwrapping it and disposing of its bindings into the trash, you set it down into the water as it instantly fizzed.

“Wait, you like bath bombs?” HR questioned with an arched eyebrow.

“Yeah, but only the organically made ones- that way it doesn’t irritate my skin.” You shut off the hot water and pulled out the necessary towels for the both of you.  “Also, they smell phenomenal!”

“They do.”

“What’s wrong?”

“One year on this Earth and I hadn’t even noticed that you had bath bombs too. Do yours also release an underwater firecracker?”

“An underwater firecracker??”

“Yeah, little ocean sparks underwater that also stimulate the water to move like the waves as if pulled from the effects of the moon.”

You just stared down at the slowly fizzing bath bomb in disappoint. “Why don’t you do that? Rude.” The novelist craned his head down to kiss your cheek with a snicker at your evident disappointment.

You stuck one foot in, the warmth enticing you as a hum left your lips before going all in. A wave of relief washed over your muscles as a tired groan left your lips while shutting your eyes. Leaning back, your skin touched the cool marble of the tub as the water drifted in multiple directions. The water rose to just above the top of your cleavage. HR had followed suit once you fully entered, sitting across from you with his legs crossed. A sigh had left him as he felt the tension in his body break away, the scents also helping him ease into relaxation. After a moment he pulled you in between his legs and you humored him because his were so long that they needed the space. Your eyes finally adjusted to the brightness set by the candles from your position.

You eyed the scar on his chest, teeth raking over your bottom lip. The one where Savitar had left his mark. Those thoughts came back. Your throat dried instantly. Swallowing thickly, your mouth moved on its own accord. “I almost lost you.” HR froze as he leaned his broad back against the tub, an arm on the rim of the cool marble. You reached out a hand to trace over the scarred skin. The closer you had gotten- the more you looked at his upper body- was the more you mentally berated yourself under the soft glow of the candlelight. Scared paths and crossroads of tinged undertones on his skin, some faint- others dark and deep. A few were clean and a few others were messy. Even the scar, perfectly hidden by his left eyebrow seemed to be clearer to your eyes now. Your heart sank in your chest, frustration and anger and hurt welling up inside you at the pain HR must have endured over the years. But mostly, anger and hatred towards yourself. How have I been so blind? How many times have my eyes overlooked these? How pathetic and ignorant have I become? HR shivered under your touch, under your gaze over the ugly reminders on his body. “We’ve been together for a year,” you started, “a little bit over a year- and I’m a damned fool for never truly seeing how hurt you’ve been.”

“I…” The words died in HR’s mouth. The sullen look in your glassy eyes, the pained expression on your face. His heart felt heavy, yet it oddly thrummed loudly in his chest. The warmth of the water didn’t help how you were feeling.

“And for that, I’m sorry.”

“Just being by my side and seeing who I am- how I’m worth something, exceeds any grim reminder of my past.”

“But, I didn’t-”

HR took your hand and intertwined your fingers together, “You’re the light of my life, you allowed me to forget my past and accepted me, all of me. I don’t hold it against you that you didn’t notice, we’ve been going through one hoop after another with these crazed villains. Hell, I forget the scars are even there when you’re with me… I feel whole when you’re with me.” The novelist strained emphasis on the last sentence. You felt the tears start to riot in your eyes before streaming down your face. HR gently cupped your face, wiping the tears away with a dry hand. “I’m happy that you overlooked them. I’m happy that I could shed them when I’m around you.”

You were silent for a few seconds. “I’m still mad at Iris,” you whispered with a sharp sniffle, your fingers finding the scar over his heart once more. “No, I’m pissed that she didn’t the willpower and guts to speak up when she had a chance. We… we could have prevented… both of you could have-”

“-We could have gone through a million different avenues, but the results would have led to the same road.”

“Wouldn’t it? You, at least, couldn’t have been hurt if we had done something differently.”

“Iris could have been hurt.”

“You were hurt!” You snapped as your voice wavered. “You were going to die, had it not been for Julian and Cisco and Barry. I… I can’t lose you. Every night, a dark thought slips into my mind. You could have died- You could have died right there when you were just starting to live a life of your own. All because of Barry and Iris.” Your cheeks felt wet and only then did you realize that the tears had pooled up and escaped. His gaze softened at you, nonetheless, the tears didn’t take away from any frustration that you had presented.

HR recognized the bitterness in your voice. The fiery anger within your eyes as you looked up at him with desperation. The same anger that he had long disciplined himself to distance from. Anger blinds all gates of logic within the mind. Because in a way, you were right. Iris could have easily said something when she was disguised as his persona. Instead the queen of the castle seemed reluctant in sacrificing herself, instead allowing the pawn to take the fall. HR had thrown it all away to save someone who didn’t really care to know him and treated him with disdain at first. All to prove to the others that he was worth being on their side. To prove to Savitar that he wasn’t a coward like the projected future had revealed. But most importantly, to prove to himself that he’s capable of more than just standing on the sidelines as backup. The anger and distraught and hate. HR worked tirelessly to move past them. You were his future now. You and the fact that in the end he seemed to earn his spot. Sadly, even at the expense of his own life. At the end of the day those were the cold, hard facts. Ones he willingly chooses to not give in to.

“But I’m here.” HR wrapped his long arms around you, pulling you closer to him. You choked back on a sob. Your anger waned at his gentle touch. “I’m here and I’m alive,” he let out roughly, letting you cry it all out as he rubbed your back soothingly. HR knew everything you had said had been true. And even if it did work out in the end, he didn’t want to imagine a reversal of the situation. If it had been you who had traded places with Iris instead of him. The novelist can only hope that the team wouldn’t have to put anyone else in a situation like that. That Barry and Iris wouldn’t have to play close to this dangerous game of chess again. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you sniffled, calming down with a stutter. You knew that anger blinds judgment. You didn’t hate Iris, but you resented her inability to save both her live and HR’s. HR wet his hands and cleared your face from any remnant of tears. kissing your eyelids sweetly.

“Interesting that you put hydrangeas and hibiscus petals.”

“How so? And how did you know?” you raised a questioning eyebrow at HR.

“The jar’s labeled.” You facepalmed at yourself. Of course, the jar’s fucking labeled, I’m such a dumbass. “But also, I studied the language of the flowers as well as the language of the colors for my writing.”

“So, what do hibiscus plants stand for?”

“From what I recall,” HR scratched the back of his neck in recollection, “they stand for love and affection between family members, friends, and others. A perfect statement of gentle feelings towards the others. It can even symbolize passionate relationships.” You had placed both hands on his shoulders as he spoke, mesmerized by his knowledge of the flower. He wiggled his eyebrows at his later statement, causing you to giggle with flushed cheeks.

“What about the hydrangeas?”

“Ironically, heartfelt emotions,” he kissed your cheek, rubbing the skin of your lower back as he continued. “Gratitude for being understood.”

“I would call it more of a fateful coincidence,” you mumbled, pressing your lips to his for a chaste kiss. But truthfully, he just wanted to roll around in bed with you and kiss you silly to his heart’s content… amongst other certainly heart-fluttering bedroom activities. When you pulled away, your eyes drifted over his figure. “Can- Can I ask you about them?”

Them. HR knew what you were referring too. That curiosity of yours is one day going to land you in trouble, birdy. HR mused to himself with a little noise of thought. He was well past the mental pain, taking up meditation and various things to acknowledge and push past it. But the idea of you feeling the need to know didn’t rub him the wrong way like it should have. Rather, it stirred something deep in his heart, a playful glint hidden in his eyes. “Depends on what’s in it for me, little birdy?”

You thought deeply for a minute and HR remained silent, running patterns over the skin of your arm. You felt warmth build up on your skin with every contact. “One night.”

“One night…?”

“One night, you can do anything to me- within reasonable bounds. You decide when the night can be.”

The Wells doppelganger immediately licked his lips and felt his blood rush at the notion. “Is that your final condition?” Because if it is, this big bad wolf’s going to make sure to devour his little red riding hood all night long. HR tilted your head back, a hooked finger under your chin as his lips skimmed over yours. There’s much planning that needs to be done.

“Y-yeah.”

“‘Yeah’ isn’t a word of confirmation.” Learned that one from a law buddy back on Earth-19.

“Yes,” you won’t deny the anticipation in your voice. The murky white waters retaliated with every movement from the two of you. “One question, one scar.”

“One question, one scar, one night.” The novelist smirked down at you, a cocky look on his face.

“Fair enough.” I essentially ordered one love romp of a night… I’m so fucked, literally and figuratively. I just hope I don’t have to come into the Labs the next day, neither of us.

HR watched you closely, grabbing the body wash as you decided with a focused look on what scar to choose. Your eyes roamed his body. You already knew of his mental scars, and he knew of yours. The novelist waited patiently as you quietly processed the image of them on his skin. Some scars on his body were from hitmen, bullies, or muggers- mainly during his young adult life or when he was creating STAR Labs with Randolph. That bastard probably sent some after me, wouldn’t be surprised since he knew I would be executed if I crossed dimensions. Bath sponge in hand, he lathered your body wash on the sponge with every intention that he would help wash you while he reiterated a scarred tale.

“What’s the story behind the one on your eyebrow?”

That one took HR by surprise; usually human nature would be intrigued with the most noticeable of things- big things. Instead, you pinpointed the one that was easily concealable in plain sight. Settling for the smaller scar in comparison to the others. The novelist took your arm, scrubbing your skin with lips pressed thinly. You opened your lips to ask if he’d rather you choose a different one, but HR cut you off in a matter of milliseconds.

“I got it back during my university years. I was an English Arts major,” he paused for a moment, switching to your other arm to give it the same treatment. “My father obviously didn’t approve, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to keep going with my literary studies, taking up photography in my spare time. One day, I was just walking through the city in the late evening. Dismal and dark, with fog everywhere.” HR rinsed off your arms, gesturing for you to turn around between his legs so he can start on your back. He plucked off the PanOxyl Foaming Wash bottle from beside a candle, using a different sponge specifically for the backwash. You had told him that sometimes you unfortunately get acne on your back and shoulders, so you use this backwash to keep it clean and acne-free. To your surprise he wasn’t revolted in any way, instead he admired your constant diligence with wanting to keep good hygiene, especially since so many factors can trigger different responses from the human body. You silently waited, listening intently as he continued. “I heard whimpers. Cries coming from down the alley. There was this… this small puppy- I-I can’t really recall what breed it was, but it looked hunger and tired and scared.” You looked back at him, heart aching as you saw his eyes show the pain in his heart too. “I thought to myself. How could someone leave a helpless baby animal to starve in the city’s alleyways? Why couldn’t someone have the heart to nurture it?”

“What did you do?”

HR ran the water over your back to remove any bubbles or foaming wash from your skin. “I saw myself in the puppy. Lost. Abandoned. Alone.” he whispered as he raised his chin, eyes finally meeting yours as you fully turned to observe him. Your gaze softened; your wet hand reached out to cup his jaw. Droplets of water fell from your skin into the colored water as he nuzzled into your touch. “I approached it, I wanted to keep it safe and warm. It didn’t object when I picked it up, cradling it like it the baby that it is. It trembled and shivered in my arms.” His heart dipped remembering the way the puppy felt in his arms. One of his larger hands held onto yours, the one cupping his chiseled jaw. “I had to do something, couldn’t just leave it there.” I couldn’t abandon it.

“There’s a ‘but’, isn’t there?”

“There always is…” He let out a mirthless laugh. “Things went south when a couple of drunk guys found me and the puppy. Turns out these were the same guys that had been harassing the little one through the alleys. They had been trying to use the puppy in illegal cage fights.” HR bowed his head slightly. “One thing led to the other, there was a knife and I was running like hell with the puppy. Until they cornered me, hence…” He trailed off, gesturing to his eyebrow scar with a free hand.

“HR,” you whispered, but he squeezed your hand as he took it off his face. Your other hand tightened into a fist in the water. HR’s eyes caught the movement but didn’t say anything.

“They roughed me up pretty good- I’m wasn’t- I’m not a fighter, but I would have been damned if that little puppy had been hurt. I ended up finding the little guy a home where he can be looked after and well-fed and safe.” You unclenched your fist, gently listing it to stroke his stubbly cheek as he concluded. HR ran his fingers down the length of your arm.

“You’re safe.”

“I know. You’re safe too, my little birdy.”

“I know.”

You twisted your body, stretching an arm out as you reached for his Old Spice body wash. It was your turn to help wash him. You started working away at his sturdy chest, obviously doing your best to not ogle at his abs and his entirely toned framework. But he caught your eyes drifting off more than once.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For always listening to me.”

“I love you, HR. And I would do anything in the multiverse to keep you safe and loved. You’re my one one one after all.” You winked at him, eliciting a deep chuckle from his lips. Music to your eyes, smiling as the corners of his lips lifted upwards. “There’s that radiant smile I love so much.” The man blushed but continued to grin.

HR ran a hand through his hair before catching a glimpse of his hair in the mirror. He squinted a bit as he held a lock between two fingers. “Looks to be about that time of year again.” Your fingers threaded through his hair once he released the strand.

“I’m assuming a haircut is needed.”

“Yup”

“I will never understand how men ask for their hair to be done.”

“It’s honestly really easy, with the provided visuals of course. I should take you with me once.”

“I’d be okay with that.”

“Probably going to need to dye my hair black again.”

“I think I have some leftover dye in a cabinet somewhere. You know… I wouldn’t mind seeing silver streaks on you. Makes you look like a sly silver fox to me.”

“… I’ll keep that in mind for next time as long as you allow me to learn how to do those intricate braids in your hair.”

“You drive a hard bargain, Mr. Wells.” You leaned up to kiss his lips.” The novelist smirked against your lips as he ran a hand over your bum. Neither of you had noticed that the water was starting to become lukewarm, the candles and warmth of each other distracted the two of you. “It’s a done deal.”

Taking his Old Spice Shampoo in hand, you squeezed a good amount out meanwhile he tilted his head down closer for you to reach. HR’s hands settled on your hips, steadying you on his lap to have your legs wrap around his waist. You scrubbed and massaged his scalp, creating a bubbly hairdo for him. You couldn’t help the giggle that escaped your lips. But once your bright eyes met his baby blue ones, you felt your heart skip in your chest.

HR felt your hands slow as you retracted them but made no effort in submerging them in the water to get rid of the bubbles. Instead your smaller hands rested on his broad shoulders with the tips of your fingers doing a sort of feather-light dance against his skin. The novelist found himself mesmerized by your radiance, never mind the candlelight that continued to flicker around the both of you. You felt hypnotized by his baby blue eyes, pulling you into an ocean of wonder. HR licked his lips with half-lidded eyes as you moved to kiss him deeply, your lips slowly moved against his with a sensual kind of dance to it. The doppelganger breathed you in slowly and he pressed forward. His palm rested on your cheek while his other hand took one of yours to hold onto. The kiss broke but was soon reconnected. Over and over again. The moment wasn’t rushed. There was no hurry to get to the finish line. It was just you and him and the wisps of fire around the two of you. HR nibbled on your lower lip before you reluctantly pulled away. Your tongue ran over your swollen bottom lip.

“We should probably finish up before the power decides to run out,” you started in a low-ish voice. HR noted the slight jitter in it and his heart swelled at the effect of his kisses on you.

“I don’t think it might get to that point. We’d probably end up snowed in, but there’s a chance that the power might not go out.”

“It’s better to be safe than sorry.”

“I know. If we must, then by all means,” The novelist murmured, nuzzling his nose with yours before the two of you finished washing up.

HR stepped out first from the foamy waters of the tub, stretching a fine limb over for some dry towels. He handed one to you when you had stepped out after him unfortunately a little less graceful as you almost slipped on the tiled floor. HR’s hand reached out to steady you. Giving him a sheepish smile, you whispered a thank you to which he returned with a wink. He knew you could be clumsy at times, but nevertheless he’s grown to love that about you. HR had come to realize that him being able to catch you from tripping over your feet or stopping you from running into things would give him a sense of ‘being your hero’ or ‘saving you’. It was just a small thing that made him happy. A ‘your hero in-the-moment’ kind of thing.

You wrapped the towel around you to rid your body of the water and bubbles. The two of you had cleaned each other well which made you sigh in contentment because feeling clean and being clean made you feel satisfied and relieved after a long day. You couldn’t help the stare you had fallen into as your eyes roamed over your boyfriends’ body as he dried himself off. Subconsciously, you licked your lips at every dip of skin, every inch of muscle. Wrapping another towel around your hair, your eyes never left HR until he turned towards you. You blinked for a split second and hastily busied yourself with pulling your undergarments from your clothes pile. HR walked back past you with his pajama’s on. The novelist had every intention in extinguishing the candles that were left only to land a soft smack on your ass. You let out a little yelp in surprise at the impact.

“See something you like?” He teased as he blew the fire out. He knew. There was a large mirror in the bathroom after all. A smirk finally settled on his face, one that he had been repressing until he smacked your ass. The heat had stayed on your cheeks from the bath and getting caught.

“Maaaaaaaaybeeeeeeee.” To be honest, it was a nice ass.

HR chuckled, “Well, since you’re done why don’t you get that cute ass of yours in bed while I go and get the smores maker?”

“How can I ever refuse such a generous offer?” You hummed, leaning up to kiss him. The Wells doppelganger nipped at your lips in return then broke away from you. He stepped towards the door. “HR?”

“Hm?” He turned back to you with curious eyes. There was a soft glow that had settled within your eyes. The sight made his body tingle.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

[waywardbeanie]

A Man of Letters - Chapter Ten

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female Reader Summary: It started as a simple hunt for Sam and Dean Winchester. Dean didn’t realize that this single case would change his life forever. Now they are on the biggest mission of their lives, and without the use of cellphones, the only way he can communicate with the love of his life is through old fashioned letter writing. He has done everything in his power to keep her safe, but will it be enough? Word Count: 7212 (ish)

Series Warnings: Language, slow burn, angst, smut, alcohol consumption, fluff, SPN typical violence (individual chapters will contain relevant warnings) a little meta Chapter Warning: IT’S CHRISTMAS, humor (Is that really a warning?) and a little bit of sweet.(Always), angst, spicy (smut), unprotected (ish) sex

A/N:  Thank you to everyone who has read this series so far, I have loved writing it and watching the characters grow. I appreciate EVERY ONE OF YOU who are taking this journey with me. We are a little less than half way there so BUCKLE UP!

Thank you to my beta @winchest09 and my mind melder, idea bouncer and my cheerleader @whatareyousearchingfordean​ I would be lost without you both!

Thank you to @talesmaniac89​ she is the gif MASTER!

MASTERLIST A Man of Letters

If you’d like to be tagged, my list is open. Just send me an ask HERE: **Make sure you check out the playlist, it is updated every chapter and an essential part of the story**

Spotify Playlist : A Man of Letters

Catch up here >>>>>>> A Man of Letters Masterlist

This series is ongoing!

No Gif’s are mine

                                      Y/F/N “Santa’s Little Helper” Y/L/N

                                                 127 Washington St

                                                 Lincoln, NE   68506

Babe,  

 I will tell you it took me a few minutes to read your letter because I just wanted to look at the pictures that you sent. You're right, one of us in bed being lazy is my new favorite. The way you smile in that picture is exactly how you smile at me when you wake up in the morning. I love it on the one hand, but it's sad too. If I close my eyes and it's quiet, I can almost imagine myself back there. I love the one at the bonfire. That hangover was awful, it's a great picture, and we look like we are having fun. How do you think I would forget the beach picture with my favorite bathing suit? I can tell you that you went to the edge of the water to wash your feet and legs off. I called your name, you looked at me over your shoulder and blew me a kiss, right before you laughed and I took the picture. 

Thank you for sending them, just like with all the photos you take they tell a story, I'm just lucky enough to be in your story. That first Thanksgiving together was awesome, we had so many people we care about there. Sam and I had a real Thanksgiving meal that wasn't from a gas station or TV dinner. Of course, thinking of that makes me think about Christmas. You went out of your way to make it memorable. I had never had a real tree that I remember, but cutting down my own? I didn't realize what I was missing. Christmas morning was still the best. I still can't figure out how you and Sam were able to pull it off.

We have gone on three raids since your last letter and have come up with a lot of nothing. They knew we were coming, that is the only thing I can think of. Sam and I talked about it, we have an idea that maybe someone around here is running their mouth, so we are locking shit down. Unless we need to go for supplies, everyone stays here; if they go out, it's in pairs now. We did find a couple of ledgers that were left behind. Charlie is putting them all into a computer and will try to make sense of them or decide if they were left there to throw us off the trail. We are still training; sometimes, I get so angry; it's what gets me through. 

I sat down with Sam the other day and finally told him my plan. I was going to wait until this job was over, but I honestly thought this job would have already been over. He blew my mind when he told me he was surprised I hadn't done it already. He said he knew by that first Christmas that it was just a matter of time, that I would leave this life behind within five years. He knew I couldn't walk away until we wrapped things up as neatly as possible, which, as you know, is why I'm on this job. I no longer feel like I'm walking away from my brother, but that I'm walking towards something, I'm just fucking ready. 

Before I sign off, I want to tell you how proud I am that you were chosen again as the official photographer! You are so good; there is no one else they could have picked! I hope I have better news next time, but unless something breaks soon, I won't be back  in time to help with the parade this year, but I know you will be great! Watch your back until I can.

I Love You,

D

2 ½ years ago

Tink: Sam, I need your help with something.

Sam: Are you okay?

Tink: Yes, I'm fine; it's about a present for Dean. Can you talk?

Sam: He is sitting right next to me.

Tink: Can you get up?

Sam: We are in the car

Tink: You didn't tell him it was me texting you, did you? I want it to be a surprise. 

Sam: No, but he is starting to give me weird looks.

Tink: Can you see the face I'm giving you right now, Sam? This is a SECRET

Sam: okay well stop saying shit that makes me laugh because he just asked me who I was texting like a schoolgirl

Tink: Ugh!. Can you call me when you guys get to the motel, but it should be before or after Dean calls. Please. Shhh a SECRET

Sam: I'll call before because you guys are on the phone half the night, and I'm not staying up that late.

Tink: I'm STILL giving you the face Sam

Sam: Okay, I'll call. I got to go. Dean just rolled down the window and is giving me a look. I'm not going to lose another one of my phones so ttyl.

Standing side by side, arms crossing their chest in matching poses, they studied the tree that they put in the stand in the front living room window.

Y/N pressed her lips together in a line,  "I think it needs to go on the back porch; it's too big."

"What!" Dean cried, "It's perfect. I just might need to trim it a little."

She shook her head, disagreeing with him, "It's wider than I am tall at the bottom and-" she gestured to the ceiling laughing, "-it's all scrunched up at the top, like by a foot. We would have to put a dangly star ornament as a tree topper. The tree is actually bent over."

"Okay," he chuckled, "It might be a little bigger in this room than I thought it would be."

"Dean," she pointed to the tree, "there is actually a picture window behind that tree, but you can't tell because it's so…" she gestured her hands around.

"Fluffy?" Dean suggested.

Y/N giggled, "first of all, hearing you say the word fluffy, makes me laugh. Second, if we light a fire in the fireplace, that tree will go up in smoke."

"You know, Babe," Dean said, bumping her hip, wiggling his eyebrows, "fluffy could be our safe word."

"Really?" she questioned, rolling her eyes with a smile, "since when do we need a safe word? I don't need one. Do you need one?"

He pulled her into his arms, brushed her hair away from her face as he dragged his teeth along her jaw; he continued to kiss down her neck, his scruff marking her neck. 

"Codeword," was her breathless response.

"Huh?" he pulled away looking at her.

With a smirk, she focused on his face. "Fluffy should be the code word to why we can't ever get anything done when you are here."

"That sounds like you're complaining."

"Uh...no that is not complaining, it is an observation." She flashed him her brightest smile as she fluttered her eyelashes at him. "Complaining would be bitching that I could sit in the kitchen; and hang ornaments on the tree." Dean took that moment to look at her, to appreciate the woman in his life. She made his heart sing whenever she was near. Not wanting to waste another second, he hauled her body to his, crushing his mouth to hers, swallowing the gasp of shock; taking the opportunity of her open mouth to deepen the kiss. His tongue dancing with hers, he moved his hand up, pulling off her knit hat and entangling his fingers into the hair at the base of her skull, pulling her closer as a moan rumbled through his chest. With her hands fisted in his jacket, they broke away, catching their breath. Her lips quirked up in a smile as she looked up at him.

"See?" she pointed out, "you distract me with all of your flannel lumberjackness." 

He chucked, "Well, I did just chop down our first Christmas tree, even if we had to wait for Christmas Eve to do it."

"Hmm," she hummed, eyeing the tree out of the corner of her eye. "Do you need help with whatever we are doing with it?"

"Nah," he said, pulling his gloves out of his back pocket, "Sammy will be here soon, he can help me with it. I'm just going to drag it back outside".

"Hold on," she said, pulling her phone out of her back pocket, "let's take a picture in front of the tree first." They stood in front of the tree, as she snapped the selfie as they both wore matching cheesy grins.

Sam got to Y/N's bungalow just as Dean finished bringing the tree out the front door. They worked together to cut it down, shaking all the snow off before bringing it back into the house. Y/N was in the kitchen, pulling out the cornbread she made to serve with the chili that had been cooking all day in the crockpot. After they ate, Dean helped her get the ornaments out of the attic. She had already decorated the rest of the house weeks earlier but wanted to wait for him to get the tree. After dinner, Y/N turned on the Christmas music as she made hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps; she brought it into the living room, standing back to watch Sam and Dean pass the lights back and forth, wrapping the tree with them.

"Hey Babe," Dean looked back at her, motioning to the tree, "what do you think? Pretty great, huh?"

"It's beautiful," she smiled. "I made some hot chocolate," she gestured, holding up the Santa Claus mugs, "to drink while we hang ornaments." They both looked at her with matching scrunched noses and raised eyebrows. 

Rolling her eyes, she held out the mugs, "Try it, before you start making those faces at me. "Have I ever made you anything you didn't like?”

"Butter beans," Dean mumbled. 

Y/N exhaled a long breath. "Does it look like I'm trying to give you a mug of butter beans? Whatever-" she set the mugs on the coffee table, "you guys are missing out." With that, she wrapped her hands around her cup and took a long drink. 

"Y/N, don't be mad," Sam said, picking up the mug. "I'm sure it's good hot chocolate." Taking a sip, his eyes grew large. "Damn, Y/N, these taste like Girl Scout cookies."

"What?" Dean questioned, picking up his mug, "I love Girl Scout cookies."

"No kidding." Y/N deadpanned.

Taking a swig, he licked his lips, "It tastes like the Thin Mints."

"You don't say," she said looking over the rim of her mug as she took another drink.

"Well, you didn't say you made hot chocolate that tastes like cookies."

"Anyway," she set her mug down, "I got you both something, I want you to open before we hang up ornaments.” She walked over to the fireplace decorated with pine garland, multiple sized white candles scattered over the entire mantle. Tucked in the corner, were two small gifts wrapped in white tissue paper. She handed Dean the one with the red ribbon and Sam the one with the green ribbon. 

"Wait," Dean said, turning the small package in his hand, "Are we doing presents now?"

Y/N shook her head, "This is just a small thing I made for you guys, go on, open them."

She bit her lip as she watched them pull the ribbon and tear open the paper. Inside they each found an "S" and a "D," respectively made of thin wood with a ribbon attached at the top. On each was multiple pictures of themselves decoupaged on the letter.

"I forget how many pictures you take," Sam said, holding it up by the strip of cloth as he studied it, "it's an ornament, right?"

"It is," she smiled. "I wanted you each to have your very own ornament to hang on the tree too."

As Dean stared at the ornament, studying the pictures, he mumbled almost to himself, "I can't remember ever having my own ornament before."

Before she knew it, they had both engulfed her in a hug, squeezing her. "I. Can't. Breathe," came her muffled plea. 

Sam stepped back, his hand rubbing her upper arm. "Thank you, Tink, this means so much."

Dean took the opportunity to pull her against his chest, his lips brushing the shell of her ear squeezing her just a little tighter "Babe, you have no idea how special this is.”

They turned the Christmas music up as they hung ornaments on the tree with a couple for refills of the spiked hot chocolate and the cookies she had made earlier. After they finished, Dean built a fire in the fireplace as Y/N put all of the presents under the tree. They sat around the living room, the only illumination from the tree and the fire. Dean settled in his "spot" on the couch, draping his arm over the back, Y/N lying next to him, with her toes tucked under his thigh. At this point, it was a habit; it's how they always sat there together. 

Sam sat across from them on one of the comfy chairs. She shared stories of when she was a kid at Christmas, and Sam and Dean shared some stories of how they spent their holidays. She made them tell her a couple of stories twice. Her favorite was of them bursting into this Rent-a-Santa trailer because they thought he was murdering someone, but he was just smoking pot, getting drunk, and watching porn, so they sang Silent Night to get out of it. 

Standing up, Sam stretched his arms over his head, yawning. "I'm going head to bed."

"Night Sammy," they said in unison.

Raising his eyebrows, he shook his head at them with a huff of laughter, "Yeah, see you two in the morning." 

He made this way to the second bedroom of Y/N's bungalow. It was her office, but she had also made it into a guest room for him. He quietly closed the door, pulled off his clothes, folded them, and placed them on the chair. He pulled on his flannel sleep pants and a clean t-shirt. He slipped into the crisp sheets of his bed; he laced his fingers behind his head and settled into his pillow with a smile. He could hear the hum of voices from the living room as he let his mind wander. 

Sam could see the changes in Dean since he met Y/N, especially when he was here. Dean was very tight-lipped about her unless it was just the two of them, but he could tell Dean was trying to put things in order. He knew he wasn't going to leave things unfinished. Now that Gabriel is back, it was just a matter of time before they could open the rift again to get Mom and Jack. After they were home safe, he knew Dean was going to walk away from hunting; his priorities had changed. It wasn't that Dean didn't want or think people needed saving; he was just tired. 

Dean talked more to Sam about how he felt since Y/N came into their lives than all of the years before. There were little snippets here and there, but Sam paid attention. It was the little things that he said and, maybe louder, were the things he didn't. Sam knew Dean had sacrificed so much, had saved him so many times, hell, they both had, but this time he knew it was going to be for good. Once Dean walked away, he would never come back. That didn't make him angry, it scared him, if Dean wasn't there he had some big shoes to fill, Sam wasn't sure that he was good or strong enough to do what Dean has done for all of these years, but Sam was willing to try because after everything his brother had done for him, this was the thing he could do for Dean. Closing his eyes with a smile, he listened to the murmur of their voices and the soft sound of Christmas music as he fell asleep.

Standing up, Dean reached his hand out to Y/N, slipping her hand in his, he pulled her from the couch.

"Come on, Babe," he smiled as he led her in front of the fireplace, the twinkling lights from the tree bouncing around the room.

Dean pulled her to him, took her right hand in his and rested his hand at the small of Y/N's back. "Dancing with you, this is one of your favorite Christmas songs."

She tilted her head to listen, hearing Michael Bublé singing, "I'll Be Home For Christmas."

As he rubbed his thumb across the top of her hand, she smiled up at him as they moved around the living room.

"Dean, you hate dancing."

"But, you don't," he whispered, pressing a kiss to her lips, "besides, I don't hate dancing. How could I hate something that means I can have you right here in my arms."

It was in that moment that Y/N’s heart swelled, an overwhelming feeling of admiration and love for the man holding her flooded her soul. She pulled back slightly, capturing the look of his green eyes twinkling in the firelight. “I lo-” she began, her mouth snapping shut as her lips closed, heat creeping up her face as he raised his eyebrow. Her mouth hung agape for a second, as she tried to find the words to cover up her stumble. “I-I love this song, this time of year,” she stammered, lowering her eyes to fixate on the collar of his shirt. She reached up to start fixing it, “so, so much,” she finished in a mumble.

Dean slowed the dancing, his eyes not once moving from her face as she fumbled with the clothes he was wearing. He knew he needed to do something, they had been dancing around the ‘L’ word for months but this is the closest one of them had come to saying it. The silence in the air was palpable and Dean swallowed hard. Before he could even begin to take an action, Y/N cleared her throat. 

“Anyway, I think that’s the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard come out for your mouth,” she chuckled, her nerves engulfing her as she rested her forehead against his chest. 

He shrugged his shoulders, "Eh, I've had better lines, and worse," he chuckled, deciding to let the near slip up slide. 

"Great."

"Come on Babe, you know it's not like that anymore, I flirt if I need information, but that's it."

She lifted her head to look at him, "I'm not worried, Dean. We talk pretty much every night, and you come here every chance you can, even when you are all banged up after a job. I mean, I never thought I would learn how to stitch a person up." Rubbing her hand up and down his back she smiled. "The women don't concern me, they can't help themselves. I mean, look how they act around here, and I'm with you.”

"They are just trying to be helpful."

"Hmm," she hummed. "Yeah, they want to help you do something."

"It doesn't matter; I usually don't notice until you start laughing." He smirked

"Exactly! That's what makes it so funny. They are falling all over you, and you don't even notice. Then I start laughing because it is so obvious and that's when you start looking around. That's one of the reasons I know I have nothing to worry about. Women aren't my concern; it's your job." She ran the back of her fingers along his scruffy jaw, looking into his deep green eyes. "I can't imagine anyone is as good as you are; it just scares me sometimes. I know you went to Hell and the Mark of Cain, what if something happens like that again?"

He stopped swaying to the music as he captured her hand and held it against his face. "Y/N, I would be lying if I didn't say what we do isn't dangerous, I'm not going to blow smoke, but it isn't like it used to be, I know I have Sam, but now I also have you. I know what is important." 

"Dean, what if you don't have a choice?"

"There is always a choice, Babe. Team Free Will and all, I'll be fine." 

"Just come back to me, please don't make Sam have to make that phone call."

Leaning down, he kissed her tenderly. "Always Babe. I will always come back to you."

"You better," she sniffed.

"Hey," he chuckled "No, crying, it's Christmas."

"I'm not crying," she smiled through her tears, "I have allergies."

He wiped her tears with his fingers, then wiped them on his jeans. "You know we have danced to like three songs by now."

"Well, I guess that will at least get you to New Year's Eve" she laughed

They blew out the candles and tapped down the fire, leaving the tree lights on and headed to bed. Dean stripped down to his boxers, and Y/N changed into a t-shirt with her boy shorts. Crawling under the covers, Dean turned off the bedside lamp and pulled her into his side, her head resting against his chest and listened to his heart's steady beat. 

Dean blinked open his eyes as he found himself lying on his side, Y/N's back pressed against his chest, his arm draped around her waist. He breathed deep, his nose ghosting her exposed neck. Then she did it again, she began to push against him, and grind into him in her sleep, a soft moan escaping her lips as she felt his erection pressing against her, inflaming his need. He pulled her body tighter against him as he rubbed his hardness against her, eliciting another moan from Y/N. She woke up and turned her head to him with a sleepy smile before he captured her lips with a deep kiss. Rolling her on her back, he began to kiss down her neck, his shirt that she had claimed from him months ago in his way. Sitting back on his heels between her legs, he grabbed the hem of the t-shirt and unceremoniously yanked it off and threw it on the floor. She had gotten him so worked up that he was on a mission. Running his hands up her thigh, he settled his fingers in the crease of her legs, his thumbs brushing against the material of her boy shorts. A gasp escaped her lips as his thumbs continued to rub her through the cloth.

"It looks like I wasn't the only one getting worked up this morning," he grinned. Y/N tried to move closer, but he held her in place. He leaned down, ran his tongue alongside the band of her underwear, pulling a whimper from her as her hips involuntarily bucked.

"Dean," she whined, "stop teasing and get moving, I'm about to lose my damn mind here.”

 He pulled off her underwear in one swift move. As his eyes focused on her hip,  he stopped moving; an eerie growl rumbling through his chest. Mesmerized, his fingertips reached out, tracing the ink there. The tattoo is the size of his fist and is an anti possession matching the one on his chest; his eyes snapped to hers as he sees a vulnerability in her as she watches him, the need to protect her exploding inside of him.

"When did you do this?" he rasps. 

"Sam helped me two weeks ago," she whispered, now not so sure by the look on his face that she had done the right thing.

"Why?" he croaked.

"Because you were worried about me, and-" she stuttered, "-and I thought if I did this, you wouldn't be as stressed out." 

His heart beat hard in his chest as his vision danced between her new ink and her eyes. Y/E/C orbs that  were clearly showing Dean her raw feelings for him. It was then that he questioned why it took him so long to tell her how he felt, always running away from others who tried to share their heart with him. Yet maybe it was because Dean was always running to her, even before he  even knew she existed. As he ran his thumb over her hip, he knew he needed to tell her; he had to, his chest ached at the thought he had kept those words to himself for so long. A slow, peaceful grin spread across his face he laid down next to her, pulling her into his arms. She slowly brushed her finger over the tattoo on his chest.

"Dean?" she questions with an anxious tone, her heart sinking, afraid that she had gotten it all wrong.

He swallows a lump in his throat as the words his heart demands that he speak, wage war within him. What if in telling Y/N, the forces outside his control tear her away from him? But, if he doesn't tell her soon, will she walk away with the belief that none of this was real?

He brushes her hair away from her face as he cups her cheek, lifting her head to meet his gaze. Her eyes are glassy as she blinks back at him; she feels lost. Usually, she is strong and fierce, but she feels on the verge of despair right now. Smiling softly, he tucks a piece of her hair behind her ear. 

"I want you to be safe; I need you to be, you to know you can always count on me.”

"You can count on me too, Dean, always."

He nodded his head, his smile never wavering, pressing a kiss to her forehead before he pulled back.

"I love you, Y/N.” His words whispered against her skin, “I've loved you for so long that it's hard for me to remember when I didn't. You have changed my life in ways I didn't think were possible." He pulled in a shaky breath, feeling the weight lifting off his shoulders as he found the courage to tell her. "I want you to know that I am all in Babe, I want it all with you."

A sound between a sob and a laugh escapes her lips, tears roll down her face, but the smile she gives him is like the brightest sun in a clear blue sky. He looked down to notice  the pure joy radiating from her.

Bringing her hand to his cheek, she tries to speak, her throat clogged with emotion. "I love you too, Dean. Oh my God-" she laughs, “you have no idea” 

He rested his forehead against hers, voice cracking, "I love you so fucking much, Babe."

He pressed his lips softly to Y/N's before deepening the kiss. He urged her back onto the mattress, holding his weight above her on his elbows just as a loud banging sounded on the wooden bedroom door, shaking it in its frame. Breaking the kiss, he looks towards the door, "Sam; I swear to God-"

"-get your asses up," Sam calls through the door. "It's Christmas, and we have presents to open."

"Sam!" he barks, "Not now."

He can hear Sam's laughter through the door while Y/N is chuckling underneath him.

Turning back to her, a quirk to his lips, he whispered huskily, "We were having a moment here."

"He has radar remember," she giggles a little louder.

The pounding on the door begins again, "Let's go!"

“We will be out in a minute!" Dean snaps.

"I don't believe you," Sam continues to bang on the door with his fist. Consistent, not stopping.

Dean moves off the bed jerking his jeans up off the floor, tugging them on as Y/N scrambles to pull on her shorts and t-shirt. Storming over to the door, Dean grabs the doorknob and whips the door open.

"Dude," he snarls.

"Morning," Sam smiles, taking a drink of his mug of coffee, "you guys up?"

Dean looks incredulously at his brother, "You're kidding me right now?"

A burst of laughter comes from behind him as Y/N tries to squeeze her way through the doorway, pausing to plant a kiss between Dean's shoulder blades. "Come on, let's get some coffee and I'll put the cinnamon rolls in the oven," she says, speaking against his naked back. 

"Oh, good," Sam chuckles, stepping back, "I'm starving."

Walking back in the room, Dean grabs his shirt pulling it over his head, mumbling, "I hope you choke on them, Sammy, I hope you choke."

Standing around the island, they each had their second mug of coffee in their hand, the sweet smell of cinnamon rolls drifting through the kitchen.

"Hmm," Y/N hummed, "You know what sounds good with cinnamon rolls."

"Bacon," Dean announced.

"Exactly," she smiled, setting down her coffee, making her way to the door, "I think I have some in the garage freezer. Let me go check."

Sam shook his head at Dean, "Dude; I think you broke Tink."

"Huh?" 

"I think you broke her. When we first met her, she made egg white omelets with spinach and mushrooms and now-" Sam gestured to the garage, "-she is making bacon and cinnamon rolls."

Making his way to the coffee machine, he points his mug at Sam. "First, I'd like to think that I helped her, but honestly, I think she still eats that crap when I'm not here."

"Oh, you mean healthy."

"Whatever," he visibly shivered.

"Maybe she will bring you over to the light side yet."

"Sammy, vegetables are the work of the devil, I'm not doing it."

Sipping his coffee, he smiled, "We'll see."

Glancing at the garage door, he looked back, catching Sam's eye. "Hey, I owe you one, man."

"What are you talking about?"

"Y/N, you helped her, you know with the-" he motioned to his hip, "anti-possession tat."

"You know, it was her idea," he shrugged. "She was a champ too, she barely flinched."

"Yeah," Dean smiled, "my girl is a lot tougher than she looks."

"Tink has to be," his brother smirked, "to put up with your shit."

"Really, Sam?"

"I'm just saying." He gestured to Dean

"Well, Sammy, that door swings both ways," he smirked, "speaking as someone who has been stuck in the car with you."

Sam opened his mouth to reply when Y/N burst through the door, waving a large package of bacon in her hand, the garage's frozen air following her.

"Found it," she announced, "and it's fucking cold out there."

Peering out the sliding glass door Dean took in the expanse of snow-covered tundra, "Damn, I think it snowed a foot last night."

"Just in time for Christmas," she smiled.

She put the bacon on a cookie sheet and slid it into the oven. Dean made her a fresh coffee, and she set the timer as they made their way to the living room to gather around the tree. Dean announced that he was going to be "Santa Claus" and hand out all the presents. The three of them sat on the floor as he began to hand them out. Y/N's heart felt very full as she watched the two brothers' faces light up with sheer delight. The anticipation of having a real Christmas with all of the festivities, to include presents under the tree that didn't come from the corner gas station. 

Sam was the first to open his gift from Y/N; wrapped in a Christmas paper of Santa and Rudolph taking selfies. Pulling the paper and red ribbon off, it revealed a laptop zipper sleeve printed with a multitude of pictures, flipping it over in his hand; there were pictures of him, Dean, Bobby, Cas, Jack, Mary, Jody, Donna, Claire, Alex, Patience, and Garth. 

"This is amazing, where did you get all of these pictures?" he asked in awe.

Y/N grinned, "Jody helped me with the pictures, then I put them all together and printed on the laptop cover." 

Pointing to the gift in Dean's lap she said, "open yours next." He pulled the green ribbon on the paper covered with muscle cars decorated with Christmas lights. He ripped the covering, and flipped open the box. Lifting the tissue paper he stared at the object inside.

"Babe," he choked, emotions clogging his throat. 

"What did you get?" Sam questioned as he attempted to peer over the box lid

"Do you like it?" she whispered.

He leaned over, sweetly kissed her, and sat back, he pulled the picture frame out of the tissue paper, turning to show it to his brother. It was the picture of Dean and Mary, she was standing behind him, with her arm around him. The photograph had been restored and framed in a black frame. Instead of putting it back in the box to take back to the bunker, he stood up and walked to the long entertainment stand where Y/N had lots of pictures of her and Dean displayed; he moved some other frames around placing the one of he and Mary among them. Y/N blinked back tears because she knew that if he set the frame up here, he must consider being here his home. Walking back to his seat on the floor, he pointed to one of the presents in Y/N's lap. 

"Babe, open the one from me next." 

She picked up the small one wrapped in brown kraft paper with a smiley face with a Santa hat drawn on it. She started to pick the tape, careful not to rip the paper.

"Y/N, just rip it open," Dean groaned

Squinting her eyes with a sly smile, she said, "I'm trying to save the paper."

"Well, just hurry up," he grumbled as Sam laughed at his impatience.

She pulled out the small box and opened the lid to reveal a plain black leather necklace with a silver clasp. Dean watched her closely as she pulled the jewelry out of the box; she saw a delicate metallic charm. Cupping it in her palm, she stared at it, the tears that she had blinked away moments ago quietly ran down her cheeks. It was a gorgeous pendant with her and Dean's initials intertwined.

"This is so beautiful, did you make this?" she breathed.

"I did," he announced proudly.

She stood up, holding the necklace out to him, "can you put it on me?"

He took the necklace from her as she turned around, lifting her hair. He placed the jewelry around her neck and clasped it; Dean kissing the skin where the clasp had settled. 

Turning around she wrapped her arms around him, “I love you,” she whispered against his lips. 

Dean groaned as he crushed her against him, capturing her lips with his, instantly deepening the kiss as she clung to him.

As Sam cleared his throat, Dean pressed her closer with one hand as he held a finger out to his brother, telling him to wait a minute. As they broke apart a little breathless, Dean cupped her cheek, his thumb brushing over her bottom lip, he looked into her eyes as she stared into his deepening green ones. 

"I love you, Babe." 

A crash came from the kitchen as they stepped away from each other. 

"Oops...Sorry!" Sam called, "the timer went off, and I was getting the bacon and cinnamon rolls, while you two were," he waved towards them, "you know."

Y/N's face began to heat as she remembered that Sam was in the room, and she was so into the kiss she didn't even hear the timer. She quickly gathered the paper plates with poinsettias and started to serve the food. She handed Dean’s to him first, and he made his way back out into the living room. As she gave Sam his he held her hand so that she would look at him.

"Tink," he murmured, catching her eye. As she looked up at him, he smiled, "You are the best thing that has ever happened to my brother. You have shown him there is more to life than what he has ever had and you truly love him despite all of the shit in our lives, thank you."

The smile radiating from her face confirmed to Sam one of the many reasons his brother loved this girl so much.

"Come on!" Dean yelled from the other room, his mouth full of food. "Let's open the rest of these presents!"

Making their way back in, they began opening the rest. Sam got Y/N a new leather portfolio to display her photographs for presentations and when she opened it up, on the inside left corner was a little embroidered Tinkerbell with her magic wand. Two of the remaining presents were identical packages wrapped in Elvis wrapping paper for the brothers. Dean opened his gift to find a Led Zeppelin box set. Sam began to open his to find a Celine Dion box set.

"I don't understand," Sam shook his head brows knitted, "I don't even like-"

"-lies!" Dean cackled, Y/N's laughter joining his. 

"Fine," Sam's lips quirked. "Can we please keep it between the three of us now since Dean doesn't know how to keep a secret."

Y/N put her hand up, still giggling. "I swear if anyone asks me, I will say your favorite singer is Elvis."

"You two suck," he grimaced. "I mean I love it, but you still suck, you have the weirdest sense of humor."

His announcement was met with thundering laughter.

The rest of the day was followed by watching Christmas movies and eating a ham dinner with all the delicious sides. Y/N packed everything in containers to go after that had eaten because she knew that they were leaving early the next morning.  Sam went to bed first with the excuse that he knew they had a long day tomorrow. 

Dean sat on the corner of the bed, a towel wrapped around his waist lost in the thoughts of their next steps to open the rift to get out Mary and Jack.

Y/N walked in, closing the door behind her. The towel was gripped to her chest as damp hair cascaded down her back. She regarded him as he was staring at the floor, elbows resting on his knees. His hair was almost dry from the shower as she watched the muscles roll in his back. Tilting his head up to look at her she could see the sadness he had hidden from her all day in his eyes. Moving over to him, he sat up and pulled her between his knees. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his head against her chest, taking comfort in her heart's steady beat. Drawing him closer, she ran her fingers through his hair in an effort to ease his burden.

Y/N broke the silence with a whisper, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Nuzzling into her, he shook his head slightly, "We have talked too much about it, tomorrow is when we put it all into action. I just want to enjoy tonight with you."

"Whatever you need, Dean."

He lifted his head, looking up at her, he had a way of seeing right into her soul with just a look that always took her breath away. 

"I need you," he rasped.

She bent to brush her lips to his; Dean swiftly took the lead. Hooking his finger at the edge of her towel, it dropped to the floor as he deepened the kiss. Dean flipped his towel open scooting back further on the bed, pulling Y/N with him, she straddled his hips. He pulled back, his eyes meeting hers in a silent question. She nodded her head once before he drove up into her, their moans muffled by their open mouth kisses. Her forearms rested on his shoulders as her hands fisted in his hair. Dean's hands were gripping her hips, one palm covering her new tattoo, fingertips digging in as they moved together at a reckless pace. 

It wasn't about making love or marathon sessions; this was about dampening the fire in both of them. They were both worried about what tomorrow was going to bring, and this was the way they would connect without words. Quiet, fast, and hot is what was required. Dean could feel the tightening in his spine and knew he was close, but he knew Y/N needed a little more, sliding his hand between them he used his thumb to brush against the bundle of nerves and with a gasp she threw her head back. His lips moved along her neck, marking her at the spot between her neck and collarbone. 

She whined his name, letting him know she was close, he sucked a little harder on her throat as he used a bit more pressure with his thumb. She broke apart in his arms as he felt her flutter around him, he drove into her a few more times before he found his release. Still buried inside Y/N, he held her trembling body, his head resting against her shoulder as they caught their breath. 

"I didn't realize how much I needed that," she huffed, shakily.

"Yeah," Dean agreed, "I guess I didn't either." He helped her stand up before they both moved to each side of the bed and crawled between the sheets. Y/N lay on her back with closed eyes as Dean lay next to her, his head propped on his elbow looking down at the woman he loved. The necklace he made her settled against her skin, slightly past her collarbones. With his finger, he lightly traced the intertwined initials. Y/N didn't open her eyes, but a soft smile played on her lips. She sighed his name in her blissful state. Leaning down, he gave her a sweet kiss. 

"Thank you for everything today."

Cracking one eye open, she whispered, "This was the best Christmas I have ever had, we will be telling these stories forever."

"You're right," he agreed, as he laid his head on the pillow and pulled her against him as they fell into a peaceful sleep.

Dean crawled out of bed, careful not to wake Y/N. It was still dark out, and he and Sam had to get on the road. He got dressed without the benefit of a light. Walking over to Y/N, curled up under the covers, he stood and watched her for a moment, emotions swirling through him. He brushed her hair back from her face. 

He bent and kissed her on the temple as he murmured, "I love you, Babe, always."

He made his way out to Baby, where Sam was waiting, throwing his bag in the back seat. He slid into the driver's side, placing his hands on the steering wheel, his mouth set in a firm line. Sam started to speak, but Dean shook his head.

"Sammy," he grumbled, "just give me until we get out of town, and then we can talk about whatever you want," he glanced at him and added, "within reason."

He cranked the ignition and slowly started to back out of the driveway. He stopped at the end and looked at the little bungalow. The Christmas lights that he had helped Y/N hang up after Thanksgiving twinkled in the dark, bouncing off the snow. He could see the sparkle of the tree through the front window. He pressed that picture in his memory; Dean didn't know when he would be back this time. This house and the memory of his girl looking at him pure love were the two things he would keep close to get him through until he could return. He pulled out onto the street and headed out of town to meet with Rowena and Gabriel. The only noise in the car was Baby's powerful engine growling through the early morning light.

Chapter 11

Tags: @winchest09 @katehuntington @whatareyousearchingfordean @emoryhemsworth @flamencodiva1@superfanficnatural @deanwanddamons @janicho88 @talesmaniac89 @anathewierdo @compresshischest09 @supernatural-bellawinchester @jensengirl83 @this-is-what-im-reduced-to @ellewritesfix05 @moron225 @foxyjwls007 @hobby27 @unicornqu33n17 @swinchester27 @deans-baby-momma @squirrelnotsam @clumsy-nerd104 @sarahbaker2010 @supernatural-love14 @akshi8278 @lyarr24 @angelhearts1012 @nothinbuttrouble2​ @cookiechipdough​ @lady-pswrld​ @peachyafshawn​ @notan-applepielife​ @linki-locks11​ @atc74​ @divadinag​ @dvnmbabe​ @michellethetvaddict​ @stoneyggirl​ 

[zpetlovesglitter]

The Wicked Powers Theories

The Wicked Powers has recently been getting me excited WAY too much - which says a lot about how weird I am since Cassie hasn’t even started on it yet (LOL).

aND, so, I kind of thought it’d be nice to jot down some predictions and theories on how the series might go and maybe some thoughts on THE SHIPS (that really do be the real TEA).

So.Here we go.And do let me know about any thoughts you have on this topic as well - I read anything about TWP like a crazed creature these days istg.

1)The POV has already been envisioned to be from Ty, Dru and Kit. I absolutely love this settlement since they are all very intriguing characters. Ty is an interesting person and his actions are always unpredictable, so we might enjoy this one. And,I believe he is at The Scholomance while the story progresses, followed by Livvy (Ghost Livvy, I mean).It’s still unclear what Livvy’s situation is, so I can’t wait to know more about that - it’s bound to be something unexpected. And, as for Dru, it’s kinda obvious. We all know that WE HAVE A LOVE TRIANGLE COMING UP. But, other than that, we also know she attends The Academy and finally starts to makes some friends and even has that really close Italian (..or was it Spanish???) Shadowhunter friend who’s her age and Cassie also revealed that the two are really tight indeed. And I will be honing in on the Love Triangle soon - I told you I’ll be trying to spill whatever tea I’m guessing at.  And, as for the last character WE HAVE KIT! OMFG YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE OLDER BROTHER KIT.LIKE GOSH DARN IT HE IS SO ADORABLE AND MINA IS SO EFFING CUTE I CAN’T EVEN-                          AND KIT’S TRAINING WITH JEM AND HE IS GOING TO BE A WELL-TRAINED SHADOWHUNTER IN TWP, SO YAYYYY!! And, I absolutely CANNOT wait for MinaXKit interactions, they are the cutest siblings ever and I absolutely know that Mina grows up to be sarcastic. I can’t wait for the possible sarcastic arguments between Kit and 4-year old Mina. YOU THINK I FORGOT ABOUT KITxTY? NOPE.THE REAL SHET’S COMING UP.

2)Now,we know that the storyline is going to have something to do with that Faerie Heirloom that was from the Rosales Family. And, Cassie also said it was going to be kind of an Arthurian Legend-ish story. If you don’t know the Arthurian Legend, I suggest you read on it. I’m not sure if Cassie meant the characters and LOVE Aspect of it or the LEGEND aspect of it as in the stuff about Excalibur and all. But, for now we’ll view it in both and examine it, shall we?

King Arthur's reign ends after his wife and best knight have an affair.

This is the drama in the legend.But, there are no relationships with the MCs yet. So idk. I’m clueless. Like, maybe Dru has a relationship?? Okay I’m clutching at practically nothingness so don’t judge me. :/

So,it’s obviously something to do with the LEGEND.

I am afraid I cannot say too much about it, since I have never read too deeply about it. But, here’s some of the basics:

-He managed to pull out Excalibur from the rock it was stuck in.

-He wielded Excalibur for the people and not for his own self-interest.

-He gets help from a wizard named Merlin.

-The peeps go on a quest.

And I have this reference from a website..I’ll hit u with the link as well, if you’d like to read more on it like I did

Arthurian legend, the body of stories and medieval romances, known as the matter of Britain, centring on the legendary king Arthur. Medieval writers, especially the French, variously treated stories of Arthur’s birth, the adventures of his knights, and the adulterous love between his knight Sir Lancelot and his queen, Guinevere. This last situation and the quest for the Holy Grail (the vessel used by Christ at the Last Supper and given to Joseph of Arimathea) brought about the dissolution of the knightly fellowship, the death of Arthur, and the destruction of his kingdom.

(I’ve linked it with the text above.)

So,now I thought this was interesting- the destruction part. After all, it’s something I’m expecting about the Shadowhunters. Will the Clave maybe be destroyed? Or maybe Faerie will be destroyed? So,there were three things that brought on this uh Destruction.FIRST, his wife and his best buddy were going behind his back and doing them lovey-dovey stuff. And they all go on some quest to retrieve something important to them. So, this sounds like something plausible to be the plot of TWP. Maybe the Heirloom’s missing? And who goes on the quest though? Maybe they venture through Faerie? BLAH MY HEAD HURTS SOME THINGS ARE BETTER TO BE SURPRISED WITH ;)

-----I kinda scrolled back up while writing about Janus down there and remembered CLARY MIGHT BE TAKEN HOSTAGE LIKE YESS AND THEY GO FIND HER MAYBE?

3)We will defo see Christina, Mark and Kieran at some point- no worries, Emma and Julian too. Happy Couples! XD

4)So,then we can look forward to Dru and Jaime’s interactions. I am absolutely excited for this the most, as a shipper of the two. If you remember, we saw Jaime ignoring her for a while back there at the end of QOAAD and then he says “See ya at the Academy soon ig”. I really do hope they meet and hang out as friends, at least. I am excited to see what kind of trope it’s gonna be tho. Like, do they ignore each other and remain awkward until they start the adventure stuff in the book where they eventually have to talk to each other after years or smth. Or, maybe they’re really good friends rn. But, what I’ll warn y’all shippers is that they might not end up together, and could wind up as brother-sister-ish kind of best buddies. Which is equally cute a relationship imo. It’s a really sweet thing to be, really. I lowkey hope Cassie spins something beautiful for their relationship like a sibling-like best friends kind of thing. But, I feel like they might have feelings for each other in secret. Or maybe they date. Or maybe they suppress their secret-feelings for the sake of friendship later on in the book and end up having that really sweet friendship I was talking about.There are SO many options and that is precisely why I am so freaking excited.

5)JAIME ROCIO ROSALES.       Like, I have this gut feeling that he might end up being my fave male protagonist character in TSC. He’s got it ALL. Like, the sense of humour, the looks, the bubbly yet brooding personality, the quirks and OFC THE FRICKING NAME ITSELF IS CUTE AF LIKE BRUH I CANNOT WAIT TO READ ABOUT HIM.I have so much to say about Jaime but I’d rather we let ourselves simply wait for the crumbs Cassie might give us or maybe reread all his parts in TDA like I do everyday or just wait for the book to come out rather than simp for someone we know nothing about yet....

6)Ash Morgenstern.         He’s a cute lil bean.        That was random and untrue lmao. He’s not a ‘lil bean’. He’s totally badass with dem wings and all, but we know he’s soft inside for Janus and ofc Dru, I believe. I find him the most intriguing character, honestly. I would love to know what goes through his head. He’s actually, like, the one character in TSC that I don’t have all figured out. He gon surprise us all for sure tho. He is awesome. That’s all I have to say for now. And he looks up to Janus which is SO GODDAMN SWEET AHHHH. And THE WINGS I CANNOT WAIT TO READ MORE ABOUT THE WINGS IT SOUNDED SO BADASS ISTG I LITERALLY CANNOT WAIT GOSH DARN IT. But he really do be a cute lil bean lowkey tho.

7)Kit and Ty LOL. I have no words really. But lemme tell you how it might go. There is definitely going to be some kind of reunion. AND THEN THAT’S WHERE IT GETS CUTE. They could either be awkward and we know what tension that gets us-perhaps some whisperings of My Watson...(?  ;) and maybe they go all sad and brooding with dem looks later OR, they could be the sweetie-pies they were before and be happy and all HIII BUDDDYYYY MISSED YAAA LESS GO BE DETECTIVES YAY BURN IT UP MAH BUDDY!! Either way it’s going to be cute af and we know it . TRUST IN CASSIE Y’ALL.I trust Cassie to let this ship sail the seven seas and seven more like it deserves.

8)Ash and Dru So, Ash has a strange lil fixation on Dru and I believe he even thought she was ‘pretty’ or something. It was definitely a good adjective, but I think he said ‘pretty’. idk but we know he likes her. and I can imagine a nice relationship. I can picture them with her hair flying in the wind and they meet for the first time or smth. IHNI WHAT IM SAYING. But, there will be DRAMA. They are going to be real cute with each other YOU CAN BET ON THAT.And, by cute I do not necessarily mean ‘Oh, you have the loveliest eyes’ or some shet like that. I have a feeling it’s going to be a case of ‘Well,that’s not weird or anything YOU WEIRDO - NO U - NO U - NO U’ However this relationship is going to go, I know that it’ll be a sweet one.And, for all you shippers of these two, I have no assurances that HE IS THE ONE or anything but he is definitely a candidate. Jaime is going to be some competition I can tell. So, idk. It depends on the Jaime x Dru ship to decide things for Ash x Dru ship imo, since it might be a no-brainer if the two have feelings for each other- I mean,Jaime is an actually perfect love interest in TSC, while Ash is strong potential Best-Friend material, so it’s ONLY if Jaime and Dru don’t like each other that way that Ash could make it as a love interest. So, if y’all wanna find out what’s in it for you guys, ask Cassie maybe about how the Jaime x Dru ship might go, the next time u wanna ask her ;)

9)Tavvy and maybe the kid Helen and Aline might have had We were getting hints of another baby, so HERE WE GO.Tavvy might have a playmate. :D. YAYYYYYYYYYY

10)Janus  I’m honestly worried about him. He is a worrisome character. I hate empathising with the antagonist, personally. AAAAHHHH . I hope we see some character development in him. I really don’t want to see him as an antagonist in the story. He’s sweet and feels cheated, but he should realise that it ain’t Jace’s fault but SEBASTIAN’S fault. I would like for him to make amends with Jace :( And, also, he might get the story started in TWP tho idk. But, seriously tho, when he went home in that short story and Ash asked, “I thought you were gone forever?” or something of that sort and he shook his head sadly and Ash went soft for him. Like, that fricking broke my heart. I love this relationship tho. And, i hope Clary and him can be good friends. But, I feel like he might end up dying to save her or smth and make us all cry . T_T

11)WHAT TF IS GOING ON WITH THE SHADOWHUNTER POLITICS RN THO?HOW AND WHERE ARE THEY ALL SURVIVING TOGETHER WHAT IS THEIR SYSTEM AND STUFF THIS IS NOT A POINT WITH POTENTIAL THEORIES COZ HONESTLY I WANT TO BE SURPRISED BUT I THINK THEY MIGHT ALL JUST BE IN HIDING AND THEN IN TWP THEY MIGHT HAVE TO COME OUT FOR A QUEST OR SMTH AND WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THE SHADOWHUNTERS AT THE CLIMAX OF THIS WHOLE SERIES??? IT IS THE END OF TSC SO IM SCARED AND KINDA SAD TOO :(((((((

12)Thule We might learn more about the Thule world and maybe they restore it or maybe the Quest is in Thule. idk. we don’t know much, but Thule will most probably be explored a lot. Cassie wouldn’t have opened up Thule for no reason.

13)Zara and Emma  Showdown? Befriend e/o ? What’s in store for these two? If it’s a showdown we get to see CORTANA YAY I AM OBSESSED WITH CORTANA NOW BECAUSE OF CORDELIA AND HER OBSESSION GOSH DARN IT WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME

14)BIG WAR I see a huge war coming I just know it. It’s a climax so there MUST be a big war and so I cannot wait! Feel like there’s gonna be some deaths as well. Lowkey feel like Jia might die. I can feel it. :(

15)The best-friend shadowhunter of Dru is a nice thing to look forward to! I can’t wait to read about the two! And I love the fact that Dru is finally exposed to new people. And, for anyone who’s confused as to how she goes to the Academy, in QOAAD she only said she’ll have some maturity done AFTER some years .  Those years are over and she at the Academy now hecc yeah I BELIEVE THE BFF IS CALLED THAI AND SHE’S FROM THE SPANISH INSTITUTE CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG???

16)Magnus Bane He is literally everywhere. He gon be here too. No worries for all the Magnus Bane stans. He’ll make it here without a doubt!  Good for you :).  and the entire community of shadowhunters they literally always need him  17)THE MAIN MAIN PLOT THE SHADOWHUNTERS SHOWDOWN IS OBVIOUSLY GOING TO ALSO BE RELATED TO THE PRINCES OF HELL COMING TOGETHER AND I AM TOO SCARED TO LOOK TOO INTO IT BUT WE KNOW SHIZ COMING GNJODIFPEDWEFHUGBJ VM

18)THIS IS KINDA RANDOM BUT I CAN’T WAIT FOR THE SELF-ESTEEM GROWTH IN DRU LIKE PLEASE SHE QUEEN MWAH

[megalony]

Teacher’s pet- Part 8

I know it’s been a while since I updated this dad! Ben Hardy series but I finally had the inspiration, I hope you will all enjoy this part, feedback is always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogermeddow @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @rogahs-drowse @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog​ @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh

Series taglist: @im-an-adult-ish @gwilymleeisbae

Series masterlist

Summary: Gwilym sets Ben up on a date with (Y/n) who teaches at the school Ben’s kids go to. But Ben is hesitant in the relationship, desperate not to make the same mistakes and needing to put his kids first.

Enjoy.

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"As if you've never made homemade pizza before." (Y/n) looked across the island in the kitchen to lock eyes with Ben whose head tilted up to look at her, his brows raised like he was challenging her or daring her to carry on with that sentence.

"Hey, we've made it before and when Carter was little it was the only thing he would eat but we don't make it anymore."

"Well why not?" There was a seriousness to (Y/n)'s voice even though Ben and the boys knew she was only trying to rile Ben up and mess around. But homemade pizza was something (Y/n) always used to have as a child and whenever she had her nice and nephew over, this was the go-to meal because it was something they liked and it was something fun to do to actually make it from scratch.

It had been (Y/n)'s idea to make this for tea because she thought it would be fun and it seemed like a good way to get the boys to do something together and to do something with her. James was very attached to (Y/n) already, he had clung to her hip all day, Carter seemed fine with talking and joking with (Y/n) even if he was a bit uneasy at times. And Finn was slowly getting used to being around (Y/n) and seemed much less anxious around her which (Y/n) was overjoyed at.

Today was the first night (Y/n) was going to spend over at Ben's house with all the boys here too. It was a big day for them both as a couple because if tonight didn't work it made their future a bit tricky. (Y/n) had to see what Ben put up with on a daily basis, she had to see how God awful Carter's sleeping pattern was for starters. The eldest boy either got a few hours of sleep in the early morning or he got no sleep at all and it didn't hardly affect him or his hyperactivity.

(Y/n) would have to put up with Carter either being hyper and bounding about early in the morning, she might hear him trying to sneak out of his room or hear Ben telling him to go back to bed or hear Carter throwing a tantrum because he was tired but couldn't sleep.

She would also have to see how well Finn settled, and this was crucial. Even though Carter might not settle or might be hyper or play up intentionally because (Y/n) was staying over, he would eventually calm down after she had stayed over a few times. But it was Finn who they had to worry about because his sleep pattern was always disrupted. It took Ben a while to get the three year old to actually go to sleep because he seemed to panic a lot at night but Finn usually had nightmares. He would wake up crying a lot of the time and if he was really distressed or panicked he would scream or panic to the point he couldn't breathe.

If Finn got too unsettled with (Y/n) staying over or didn't dare join her and Ben in bed then it meant she couldn't stay over when the boys were home.

"We don't have time to do this, normally." Ben's response was sombre but (Y/n) looked over at James standing next to her when the middle boy sniggered.

"Carter couldn't make the dough and threw it at daddy and then daddy burnt his hand getting it out the oven."

"Stop giving away my secrets." Ben chided, narrowing his eyes as he pretended to be angry even if James was right. The last time they made pizza was admittedly when Finn wasn't even one yet and it hadn't been fun. Carter couldn't make the dough properly and it agitated him so much he threw it at Ben and then the pizza got burnt and Ben burned his hand on the tray getting it out. He hadn't bothered trying to make it again because it took a lot of time and it was more hassle than it was worth when Ben was on his own with the boys.

But right now they wanted an activity that all the boys could do together. They had all gone out for the day to the arcades and out bowling and since Carter refused to bake, cooking was the next option. Finn joined in where he could, James loved trying to cook and Carter would try as long as he thought or knew it was something he could do and he had been persuaded that this time it would work better.

When Ben was on his own with the boys he had to keep them apart so they didn't rile one another up. Carter would either fight with James or worry and scare Finn who didn't normally want to play any games and James could annoy Carter if he wanted. But with (Y/n) here it was a lot easier to keep the peace between them and keep them all entertained.

"That explains a lot. So, what are you having on yours?" (Y/n) looked at James who was scanning the toppings curiously before he grabbed a handful of chopped ham, a bit of bacon and then some sweetcorn before he rolled it up neatly. "Don't you like cheese?" There was apprehension in (Y/n)'s voice as she watched him make his pizza. He had the dough, then tomato sauce then his toppings but no cheese.

"He's lactose intolerant, the last time he had cheese on a pizza he spewed it everywhere." Ben tried not to laugh at the memory and because James frowned and gave him a certain, annoyed look but he couldn't help it.

"Lovely. What about you honey, what do you want on yours?" (Y/n) leaned her head to the side and smiled gently at Finn who was sitting on the edge of the counter, helping Ben sprinkle cheese onto their shared pizza but he was mainly tossing the cheese in great lumps rather than spreading it round.

"Pepper." Finn's voice was quiet and shy but he maintained eye contact with (Y/n) as he spoke which was a very good start.

"We have peppers and ham, don't we bud?" Ben threw on some ham and let Finn chuck on a handful of red and green peppers before he rolled it up.

(Y/n) went for plain and simple pepperoni and Carter went for a meat-feast option with a lot of pepperoni. When they were all made, they were placed in the oven and the five of them were left with a kitchen covered in sauce, flour and bits of chopped up meat and veg sprinkled everywhere. But the mess didn't compare to the fact that all the boys had actually managed to do an activity together and none of them tried to wind each other up or mess around.

"Can we watch a movie with tea?"

"Sure, go pick one out." Ben nodded with a smile at James who hurried out of the room as soon as he'd washed the flour from his hands. The living room had a rather large collection of movies, most of which were either Disney movies or some kind of animation movie.

Turning to the left, Ben dipped his hand in the tomato sauce beside him before flicking his fingers over at (Y/n) and he didn't miss the brief smile on Finn's lips when (Y/n) gasped and blinked in shock.

"You cheeky sod." (Y/n) reached for the tea towel and swiped away the sauce before hitting the towel against Ben when he passed her. "Do you want to get down honey?" (Y/n) smiled gently at Finn but her nerves were already starting to jump around in her stomach. She didn't want to just reach over and pick him up in case she scared or worried him and she didn't even know if he would want her to help him down even if he did want to get down and wander off.

Finn feebly nodded his head and moved his arms out towards (Y/n) but his arms were very stiff and held rather close to his chest to the point he looked like he had frozen up and become a statue. His eyes were full of caution when (Y/n) slipped her hands under his arms and gently lifted him up before setting him down to his feet. He looked like he was about to say thank you but thought better of it or couldn't find his voice so he settled for maintaining eye contact for a little while longer before he disappeared into the lounge along with Carter.

"What are you doing?"

(Y/n) watched Ben with intrigue when he walked over to the end cupboard above the counter next to the door and reached up for something on top of the cupboard. Due to his height Ben didn't have to go on tiptoes or even climb on the counter like (Y/n) would have done to reach up there but it seemed like an odd place to put something rather than just stuff it in the cupboard itself.

"I'm gonna go have a smoke." Ben turned around to face (Y/n) and waved the new unopened pack of cigarettes and a new bright red lighter in front of her.

"You hide them up there?"

"I've found Carter messing with my lighter before and he's hid my smokes when he was mad at me. I'd rather not take the chance of him setting the place alight." There was a hint of a smile on Ben's face but the memory seemed to come to mind and dampen his smile. He hated that he had to hide a lot of things from Carter but it was a necessity with him.

Sometimes Carter took Ben's keys when he didn't want Ben to go to work or when he wanted to stay with him. Other times he had taken Ben's cigarette's from his coat pocket and wouldn't say where he hid them. When Ben found him playing with his lighter he bollocked him for it and since then he hid them where he knew none of the boys could reach or could find them. It was too much of a risk to have them lying about. When Carter got mad he would get vengeful as well as physical and he would play up and hide things or smash things or just be spiteful. He didn't always mean it but it meant Ben had to take precautions.

(Y/n) nodded, attempting to tidy up the kitchen but her eyes followed Ben when he stopped walking abruptly to fish around in his pocket for his phone when it started to ring.

"Fuck, it's Jamie." Ben whispered the words to himself but the confusion and anger on his face was enough to make (Y/n) concerned and wonder who Jamie was. "It's Carter's mum... I haven't spoken to her in six months." The apprehension in Ben's voice showed he didn't want to answer the phone but knew he had to. She could be ill or in an accident or something could have happened for her to ring out of the blue like this.

Ben always tried to get her to be involved with Carter after she left, he tried to get her to come and see him just for an hour or so or just to ring him and see how he was doing. But he gave up in the end. Whenever she used to ring on odd occasions it upset Carter because she didn't talk on the phone for long and then that was it. He didn't see her or speak to her for possibly months at a time. It was easier for her not to talk to Carter at all than to unsettle him and rile him up by calling out of the blue and then disappearing again.

Quickly putting the cigarettes and the lighter back in their place above the cupboard, Ben answered the phone and whilst walking over into the back room to be out of the way and earshot of the boys and (Y/n).

"No. I don't hear from you in six months and then you ring out of the blue and now you want to talk to him? I'll gladly talk to you about him and how he's been doing but you can't speak to him that's not gonna be fair."

Ben dragged his free hand through his hair as he took to pacing up and down the back room. He always knew when Jamie rang she would either be ringing out of spontaneity and just wanted an update on the son she left behind or she was in a very funny mood. She got in moods where she felt bad and felt sorry for not calling sooner or coming round and she wanted to know about Carter and talk to him. Ben knew a few times she had been in that mood was because her parents kept telling her she had to talk to Ben and have updates about Carter.

Her parents weren't happy Jamie wanted nothing to do with Carter but they couldn't change her mind. They only made her feel bad and she ended up ringing when she was in an upset or drunk mood.

There was no way Ben was letting her speak to Carter. After he'd stayed with Ben's dad two weeks ago he had been on his best behaviour and he was doing well at school and he wasn't acting out yet. Ben couldn't jeopardise that and let him speak to Jamie because it would send him up the walls when she wouldn't come and see him or ring him the next day. It would set back his progress and agitate him and that wasn't fair on Carter. It was so much easier to have Jamie out of their lives right now.

"Ben please, just let me say hello to him, I... I've not been a mother to him and I do miss him and think about him a lot."

"The only way you're getting to speak to him is if you commit to him. I'm not hurting him because you're drunk or someone told you to stop and rethink your life. Someone always reminds you that you left him and you feel sorry for a few days and then that's it, I hear nothing from you. I'd rather he forgets you than gets his hopes up for you to disappear again."

Ben knew Carter didn't understand the situation and that was partly because he was too young and partly because of his problems. He didn't consider why Jamie didn't want to see him or speak to him, he just focused on the fact that she wasn't around. But whenever she rang he wanted to speak to her and didn't get mad until after the phone hung up and she didn't call back. It was as if the moment he spoke to her he forgot that she had left him behind.

Ben prayed to God that in the years to come Carter would realise that Jamie didn't want to be in his life because if he didn't he would forever be hoping she would come and see him or ring him and it was going to get worse for him. He couldn't be waiting around for her to ring and be in his life when Ben knew deep down she wasn't going to. Jamie wasn't the most reliable person and she had problems herself. If Carter didn't have his disorders or his anger or his issues then maybe she would have been a good or even a perfect mother to him.

But the fact was that she couldn't handle him and she didn't want to.

"Dad, Finn picked Coraline again but we've already watched that like-"

"Buddy I'm on the phone, go back through there please, I won't be long." Ben pressed the phone to his shoulder and pointed at the door, gently ushering Carter to leave the room so he could continue his argument.

"Who is it- is it nana? Can I speak to her please?" Carter immediately tried to reach his arms up to take the phone from Ben who held it up higher so he couldn't reach whilst shaking his head. All the boys were in the habit of taking the phone off Ben if they knew who it was such as if it was Gwilym or Ben's mum so they could speak to them.

"Buddy go sit down it's not your nana. Carter I mean it."

Ben tried to give Carter a nudge in the direction of the door but Jamie spoke up at just the wrong moment and Carter caught wind of her voice. It took him a few moments to register whose voice it was after not hearing her talk for many months now but the pieces seemed to click in his mind like a light bulb turning on above his head. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped before he suddenly jumped at Ben, trying to grab his arm and pull it down so he could reach the phone in his hand.

"It's mum! It's mum let me talk to her! Dad please... daddy give me the phone!" There was a lot of urgency in Carter's voice that rose higher and higher in pitch but his breath got stuck in his throat when Ben suddenly pulled back and walked out of the room to try and stop Carter from talking to Jamie.

Ben barely made it back into the kitchen before Carter jumped him from behind, doing his best to grab the phone that Ben wasn't handing over to him in a hurry. (Y/n) watched the scene in shock as Ben managed to get Carter off him, only to have the eldest ram his hand into Ben's stomach, shocking him enough to make him lean over which gave Carter the perfect opportunity to snatch the phone.

Carter clutched the phone in both hands and held it forcefully to his ear as if Jamie's voice was so faint he couldn't hear her at all. He started talking rapidly- something he did when he was over-excited, and quickly hurried over near (Y/n) to get away from Ben so he could continue talking on the phone.

"Carter give me the phone." When Ben advanced over to him Carter simply backed away and shook his head. "I mean it Carter, give me the fucking phone!"

"Ben he's not going to give you it now... just wait until he's finished or you'll make him worse." (Y/n) reached over and grabbed Ben's upper arm to pull him back. If he took the phone now Carter would have a meltdown because he couldn't finish his conversation with Jamie, even if he got distressed when the call eventually ended, it wouldn't be as bad as if Ben took the phone from him now.

"Put the phone on speaker and stay where I can see and hear you." Ben held the kitchen counter so tightly his knuckles turned white and he could feel the sharp edge cutting into his palm but he didn't care. If Carter was talking to Jamie he wanted to hear what was being said and he needed Carter in his line of sight.

Carter happily obliged since he was now getting what he wanted and he sat down at the counter, holding the phone tightly in his hands in front of him just in case Ben tried to snatch it back from him.

(Y/n) didn't know whether she should walk away and go see Finn and James or whether to stay because it felt like she was intruding but Ben kept glancing over at her like he wanted reassurance so she decided to stay. Both Ben and Carter's tempers flared around each other, they loved one another so much but they set one another off and riled each other up very badly. It was one of the reasons they argued as much as they did because if Carter shouted Ben would shout back to get him to listen and (Y/n) didn't fancy walking away in case they had another argument or even a fight.

Something pulled at (Y/n)'s heartstrings as she watched Carter talking to his mum. It was very clear he was a child deprived of having a mother and the way he held the phone and leaned down to speak into it showed he was desperate to talk to her and have her around. But hearing the way Jamie was unsure of what to say yet very desperate to talk showed (Y/n) she seemed unstable.

She sounded just as Ben described her, jumpy, up and down with her emotions and certainly incapable of looking after or even being around Carter. But that was no reason for her not to be in his life, if she just rang him even once a week at a scheduled time and stuck to that time then it could settle Carter down immensely even if he didn't see her.

"Are you coming to see me?"

(Y/n) and Ben locked eyes for a split second before Ben reached across the counter and snatched the phone back whilst Carter's guard was down.

"Daddy!" His shrill scream tore through (Y/n), she had heard many kids having tantrums but they were never nice to hear, especially when they screamed like that. Carter tried to lean across the counter to get the phone back but he couldn't reach and he was too late anyway.

"That's enough now." Ben didn't bother to say anything to Jamie before he hung up and shoved the phone back into his pocket. He couldn't get Carter's hopes up because it would be cruel and unfair when he was sure Jamie wouldn't be calling again very soon and even if she did she wouldn't be very likely to want to talk to Carter again.

"I want to talk to mum! Why won't you let me speak to her or see her? I want to see her I want my mum why are you being mean-"

"The last time you spoke to her was six months ago and you haven't seen her in years so don't you dare start telling me I'm the mean one when she doesn't bother to call either of us. If she wanted to see you she would come here but she hasn't, has she? It's not my choice whether she calls or sees you but I don't want you getting your hopes up for nothing."

"That's not fair!"

(Y/n) felt like reaching out and wrapping her arms around Carter when he started to cry but she knew it wasn't a good idea. But her arms itched out like she wanted to do something or intervene when Carter started violently sobbing. In the few months that (Y/n) had been with Ben, she'd seen the bite marks, the scratches and the bruises Carter gave him without intentionally meaning to hurt him and she'd seen Ben shout and tell him off. But she'd never seen Carter actually hurt Ben until now.

The ten year old screamed again before he reached out and scratched his nails down Ben's exposed arm like he was a bird with talons that he wanted to drag across its prey. Ben reacted in split second timing and grabbed Carter's wrists in his hands just after Carter landed a rather lightweight punch to Ben's stomach before his wrists were constrained and held above his head. Carter bent his knees and tried to pull away and he wriggled continuously until Ben wrapped his other arm around his boy's waist and pulled him closer.

The moment Carter stopped wriggling Ben let his wrists go and leaned down, wrapping his arms properly around Carter so he could pick him up. Despite him now being ten and rather heavy Ben picked him up and held him effortlessly and he clung to Ben like a monkey. He caged his arms around Ben's neck and his legs around his torso. It was moments like this when Carter had meltdowns that he wanted to be a child again, he wanted to be a little boy so Ben could hug and hold him like this because soon enough he wouldn't be able to be carried around or held like this because he would be too old and too big.

"It's not fair buddy, but it's not my fault." Ben whispered in his ear before he kissed his temple, trying to calm him down because dinner would be ready soon and if he was riled up or upset then he wouldn't eat.

Ben was about to shake his head at (Y/n) when she walked over to them because when Carter was upset Ben didn't like anyone around him as he became volatile. But to his utter surprise, (Y/n) instinctively started to card her fingers rhythmically through Carter's hair and the eldest boy didn't push her away or scream or violently react. He almost whimpered at the touch but said nothing at all, he kept his head buried in Ben's neck but Ben could feel the anger disappearing from him as (Y/n) continued to run her fingers through his hair and brush it tentatively out of his eyes.

[cartoonfangirl1218]

BTS Inspiration of Winner’s Curse

I know not many people read my descendants fic, but hey it’s my Bday tomorrow and I feel like revealing some of the inspiration for it. This world building was actually what inspired me to start writing it down. Originally it was going to be from the POV of a Vk, and explore all the dynamics of the “new” Isle under the Coven of 13, and get into the motivations of each but as you can see that did not happen. I was intrigued by the idea of exploring a “sidekick” trying to be the hero and all that. Other notes are

Circe was originally going to be the mother of Malik, after having a fling with Mozonroth when she got sent to the Isle. Decided it was too much drama and discarded that.

There was going to be more focus on the power struggles between the mercenaries, the Coven and the authority figures. Was going to reveal Uma and Freddie to be siblings. Ended up sidelining Freddie.

Gaston’s daughter, Cosette, was going to have a role, becoming closer with Gil.

Atlantis characters were going to be part of the main group. As well as Black Cauldron characters. Also discarded.

Was going to redeem Drizella because I heard the original plans for Cinderella III was going to be Drizella redemption but they changed so they could give more development to Anastasia. So I decided I was going to do it. Dizzy would have been given more of a role.

Hans was going to be revealed as the cruelest villain. (Yeah I was going to make him a twist villain again. Be glad I did not).

Nasira and Mozonroth were going to be lovers before I decided on mother and son.

Diego and Ivy De’Vil would have had more a role.

Hercules characters would have had more a role. Including the Muses.

Ben would have had more a role somehow.

And that‘s about it.

But some things I am proud of in Winner’s Curse. Passing the Bedchel test.

A POC majority cast (This was completely unintentional but now I see it and counting it out, there’s four Agrabians, two WOC, and three European. Though I’ll admit I have not given Harry, Calix and Gil as much spotlight as I should. So my bad. But does Greek count as a white Euro? Idk, point is, unintentional diversity. Woo)

There‘s only two romances. Both are interracial. Also unintentional. Uma and Harry are totally together. And Aziz and Lala’s burgeoning crushes that will not end in a kiss after the final battle because it’s not important. Oh well. Attempts to explore PTSD, abuse, sexual assault and poverty.

The emphasis on family and friendship between characters.

Exploring the negative side of Auradon including it’s classist system, the Magic Ban, and the Euro-countries getting more resources and riches compared to the likes of Kuzcotopia and Atlantis and Atlantica,

Psychological studies(ish) and more character exploration.

Jay faces his dad!

Hook siblings!

Getting to mention tie ins to the Aladdin animated series, Legend of Tarzan animated series, Hercules animated series, Ariel‘s Beginning and soon Disney fairies books. And adding those characters.

That I finished 20 chapters! This is my longest fic ever! And just ten more chapters to go! I’ll get there.

Coven of 13: Villains dedicated to using their old magic to take over Auradon and be restored to their glory days once more. However they all have conflicting wishes with what the final plan should be.

Maleficent: Since being “overthrown” as queen of the Isle. Maleficent had to settle herself with working with others until she can be mistress of all evil again. Is in a constant battle for dominance with Queen Nerissa, Ursula, Mozenrath and Jafar.

(Evil) Queen Grimhilde: Though she may be pre-occupied by her looks and seem to be passive, Grimhilde is secretly gunning for complete control of the Isle and Auradon when they invade. She feels there should be a new queen that doesn’t get into such petty tantrums as Maleficent. Queen Nerissa: Queen Nerissa is the unofficial leader of the coven since it was her idea but it is impossible to convince the others of that. She wishes to get her ultimate revenge on Giselle, Edgar and the rest of Auradon by becoming the tyrant.

Ursula: Ursula is smartly setting her sights on just ruling Atlantica. Unless she gets bored. Then she might expande her pool of options. She mainly just wants to stick it to King Triton and when it comes to execution time. She isn’t going to make the mistake of keeping his soul, she wants to destroy it. Mother of Uma.

Circe: Very bitter about ending up on the Isle even after Helen of Troy vouched for her to stay in Auradon. So to say that she wants to crush Adam to the bone is understatement. She wants him to grovel. And if she can find that one good man while she’s at it, that would be a plus. Mother of Calix.

Mother Gothel: Though she has an intense rivalry with Grimhilde since day one about hoarding the scarce beauty products available on the Isle, she is her closest supporter now when it comes to finding magic for revenge and curing wrinkly skin. She is the mother of Ginny who she doesn’t dote on nearly as much as she did with Rapunzel.

Yzma: She wants Kuzcotopia and she will do anything and everything to get it even if it means teaming up with a bunch of “old hags” (yes pot calling kettle). Still remains overdramatic and delusional. Has a semi-dependent abusive relationship with her children Zevon and Yzla.

Morgaine Le Fey: Morgaine Le Fey, like Grimhilde, is quiet when it comes to group work but she is always observing for everyone else’s weaknesses and flaws that she will undoubtedly exploit when she becomes Queen of Camelot. Mother of Morrían.

Nasira: Sister to Jafar and mother of Jade and Mozonroth. She isn't nearly as enthusiastic about ruling Agrabah as her brother and Mozonroth are but she is just in it to get revenge on the stinking alley rat, Aladdin.

Queen La: Without her staff, her kingdom or leopard-man army, La has resorted to her Atlantean priestess magic again in hopes of getting off the Isle and reclaiming her staff. Still delusional, still lustful and hates having to depend on the rest of these people. Mother of Ranavalalona.

Jafar: Wishes to rule Agrabah and execute the royal family that “mistreated’ and “disrespected” him so much. Is in a constant battle with Mozonroth on the fact that he is the best sorcerer and will be ruler of Agrabah when they take over. Mozonroth: Finds Jafar to be a blowhard and believes that since he already took over the Black Sands and overthrew his former mentor that he should be doing far better plots. But with the Isle’s Magic Ban, he has to go with what he has. Besides that he would like to give his half-brother, Aladdin, a taste of “brotherly love” when he puts him in a headlock to crack his skull. Father to Malik and Imran Abbas.

Dr. Facilier: Like Ursula, Dr. Facilier smartly works on the fringes, setting his sights small on the Bayou before ruling the rest of Auradon. Father of Freddie and Celia.

All-Powerful Quartet: Generally speaking, if any villain was going to be taking over Auradon, it would be these 4. But due to their all-powerful status, they’d rather not exert themselves to do such menial tasks when they have other things to do.

Mirage: Evil Incarnate. So she does get to go off-Isle to maintain some balance of good and evil in the universe but generally enjoys the place. There is just so much evil and chaos everywhere and she glories in it. Mother of Illusion and Chimera.

Chernabog: Since being put on the Isle, Chernabog remains asleep on the mountain, waiting for his day to rise again.

Horned King: Without his deathless army, the Horned King remains in his cave, slowly wasting away. Mainly convenes with Hades.

Hades: God of the Underworld. So yeah, he has a full time job to do.

Mercenaries: The muscle behind the Coven, these are people who can’t adjust to domestic life, more 20th century living and miss the thrill of a fight. They deal with the dirtier deeds of murder and treason. The big boss (literal mob boss) is Sykes who rents their services out.

Sykes: Mob boss. Basically owner of the unofficially named, “Mercenary for Hire.” He never gets his own hands dirty but he has plenty of people who will do it for him. He keeps his people in line with his files of blackmail he has stocked up.

Clayton: Desperately misses the thrill of the hunt and more modern conveniences like a well-polish gun with enough ammo to shoot all these thieves to hell. Has a coworkers- with-benefits relationship with Helga. Father of Clay.

Rourke: Since being screwed over by magic, Rourke has kept a very rigid condition that he will only deal with non-magical situations. Still maintains his treasure-seeking ways and often pilfers from Jafar’s shop.

Helga Sinclair: One of the most intimidating humans on the Isle and of the mercenaries in general. She is known for her efficiency in work, stoic demeanor and same condition to her jobs as Rourke, no magic.

Muviro: Finds mercenary life to be very suitable since being exiled from his tribe. He does it less so for the money but for the glory and bloodlust. Father of Renavalalona.

Lady Caine: Self-proclaimed, “Queen of Thieves” and pirate extradonier. She is Captain Hook’s only real competition on the piracy front leaving a lot of punch-punch kiss tension between them. Many suspect that she is CJ’s bio mom since they share the same manipulativeness, “devil may care” attitude and self-centeredness. However she has no time for any child-rearing, and leaves James to do whatever neglectful work.

Gaston: Another mercenary that does it for the glory rather than the money. He needs something to do since his hunting days are over. Unfortunately he has not won a lot of admirers on the Isle for his chauvinistic attitude (Bad move considering that many of the women have actual powers). Father of Gaston Jr. Gaston the Second, Gil, Gaston (IV) the Great and Cosette.

Shan Yu: Finds himself very low being part of a mercenary gang instead of invading foreign countries. But it does provide some thrill that he can work on his own and make his homicides as bloody as he wants them to be.

Sa’Luk: Former “King of the Thieves,” Sa’Luk uses his mercenary work to get rid of his excess energy and anger towards his enemies. He joins Rourke in pilfering from Jafar’s shops and has a penchant for shiny gold trinkets.

Lt. Col. Jean Staquait: Former French officer and best to hire when you need someone to torture prisoners.

Authority Figures: Villains who are used to have some amount of power in more domestic/civilian pursuits. Pretty much like big corporations that constantly drain the other villains of cash, small trinkets, food and whatever other valuables are on the Isle.

Queen Saleen: One of the most malevolent mermaid, well only mermaid on the Isle. She spends most of her time in the Isle’s waters, avoiding the annoying two legged people. She is often in some sort of feud with Ursula.

Lady Tremaine: Guardian to Anthony Tremaine. Lady is getting on with her years and remains more or less infirmed in her house with a dozen grandchildren. She runs her house with an iron fist and is the most vocal on the Isle in support of child labor. She misses her days of richness and convenes with other elder women about how low they have fallen.

Medusa: Just like she did before the Isle, Medusa owns a pawn shop that is on a constant losing streak to Jafar’s so she has opened a small casino next to it too. She rather delusionally considers herself to be an entrepreneur and tries to work with those higher up in the social ladder to get more money herself.

Cruella De’Vil: While she spends most of her time tending to her furs and car and drinking, when she is sober she tries her hand at fashion design as in the olden days. She works closely with Lady Tremaine and Medusa.

Prince Hans: More or less the least-adjusted to the Isle with his loss of kingdom, servants and anyone gullible enough to believe his lies or manipulations. He is in close cahoots with Mozenrath and bought Drizella as his mistress. Father to Lars, his only son and heir since Stalyan refuses to ruin her figure again.

Sheriff of Nottingham: Serves as the Isle’s one man police force and a sucky job at that as he lets his henchmen squad do most of the work while he serves as trial judge and executioner with the Queen of Hearts: She works a bit on the judicial system, mainly the one who suggests the executions. She can also be found bringing most of the cases to court against henchmen who have wronged her or disobeyed her Tea Shop’s rules.

Captain Hook: The sole owner and commander of the coasts of the Isle while Ursula controls its seas. He is still as obsessive as ever about Peter Pan, his hand and crocodiles and can be found frequenting bars and other brawling areas on the Isle where his hook serves as a nasty weapon. Father of Harriet, Harry and CJ.

Gov. Ratcliff: The only one on the Isle that deals with paperwork. Sort of a treasurer of sorts. Not so much in organizing it but guarding it with his life and spends his time staring longingly at the piles wishing it were genuine gold than copper coins. Claude Frollo: Father of Claudine. Maintains his strict preaching and inflaming others against sin and towards prejudice. But he also tends to lose his inhibitions more and is a regular at the brothels of the Isle late at night. No woman has replaced his lust for Esmeralda though. Claudette seems to becoming close to that though.

Stalyan: Hans’ wife and Lady Caine’s part-time lover which drives Prince Hans crazy. She has her eyes on one thing and one thing only, money and bad boys that make her look good. She has no real ambitions of her own and depends on her father, the Baron, to give her what she wants. Mother of Lars.

Regular Citizens: Citizens that hold no sort of power and are pretty much everyone’s punching bags.

Morgana: Morgana would have been put part of the coven, but her sister, Ursula forbade it. Besides everyone knows that Ursula is far more powerful and talented than her sister. Instead Morgana is blackballed from any real position of respect and takes care of Ursula’s restaurant when she is away.

Marina Del Ray: Since losing her job to Sebastian she has become the Madam of the Isle’s seaside brothels, using the money to spiffy up her gaudy wardrobe.

The Bimbettes: Claudette (red dress) used to be Gaston’s gf but left him after he tried to “throw away” their daughter, Cosette, to try for a boy. She has since then been seen with the likes of Prince Hans, Mozenrath and Frollo. Laurette (yellow dress), the mother of Gastons 1-3 is Gaston’s favorite. Paulette (green dress), Gaston’s official wife is more or less his servant/punching bag and mother to Gil.

Drizella Tremaine: Since she couldn’t be married to Prince Hans, she has settled for being his mistress whenever he and Stalyan have a fight. A thankless position since she regularly bends over (literally and metaphorically) to his will and gets discarded like trash every time.

Lefou and Smee: Live together and own a kinda profitable gun and fishing shack. By far the best parents on the Isle due to their goofy more sympathetic natures.

Jasper and Horace: Still devoted henchmen of Cruella, they serve as secretaries, gophers and all manner of assistance to her. Fathers to Jace and Harold.

Ivy De’Vil: Mother of Diego, is the brains behind Cruella’s beauty designs since she isn’t drunk all the time. Can be considered one of the better mothers on the Isle.

Animals: No explanation needed

Scar, Zira, Shere Khan, Sabor, Benzai, Ed and Shenzi, Tublat, Hista

Couples: Captain Hook and Lady Caine (fight-hate sex rivalry. Child- CJ)

Lady Caine and Stalyan (with-benefits)

Stalyan and Prince Hans (Married. Child- Lars)

Prince Hans and Drizella (affair, possibly Dizzy?)

Mozenrath and Hans (Hans swears it was an accident. Or he was too drunk. Or it was magic)

Lady Caine and Hans (Revenge against Stalyan)

Queen Grimhilde and Prince Hans (One night stand)

Ursula and Dr. Facilier (fling, potentially Freddie and Uma)

Frollo and Claudette (with-benefits)

Gaston and Laurette (Affair/borderline married. Children- Gaston Jr. Gaston the Second, Gaston (IV) the Great)

Gaston and Paulette (Married. Child- Gil)

Lefou and Paulette (Lefou deux, drunken night of pity sex because Gaston’s treatment of them)

Smee and Lefou (Couple. Adopted Sammy)

Ivy De’Vil and Frollo (One night stand. Child-Diego)

Mozonroth and Morgaine Le Fey (Fling)

Clayton and Helga Sinclair (co-workers with benefits)

Queen La and Muviro (Married and dumped. Children- Ranavalalona. Musala, Taytu Betuvira, and unnamed, deceased)

Queen La and Clayton (Fling- Leopold, deceased)

Queen La and Gaston (Fling. Children-Amina and Shaka, deceased)

Queen La and Rourke (Fling. Child- Euware, deceased)

Queen La and Mozonroth (Fling. Child-Sarounia, deceased)

Shan Yu and Sa’Luk (Once- There’s no straight men in the trenches)

[zerooclockimagines]

Red Wine: Chapter 1

A series with Taehyung as the love interest but all members are in it (with some interesting side stories) 

Warnings: mostly fluff so no warnings I guess. 

Synopsis: Katie loves writing, her short essay wins an international competition and thus she gets to write the biography of the most famous band in the world; BTS. She has a lot of bagage and obstacles to overcome but along with her charming best friend Tara and seven sweet men she finds the world is not as bad as she thought, especially when she starts falling for one of them.

When I looked at each of their faces I saw their curiosity. They were searching me, searching for signs of what kind of person I was. I did the same. They stood up one by one and introduced themselves to me. Seokjin and Namjoon looked like decent guys, they even made a little smalltalk. Hoseok seemed, enthusiastic was the best word to describe it. He immediately pulled me in for a hug instead of shaking my hand.

Yoongi and Jimin looked like sweet but shy guys. They shook my hand, said their names and hurried back to their places. I guess it would take some time for them to get to know and trust me. I mean I think I would react the same if it was me in their place. There were only two of them that remained seated.

But maybe I should give you some background so you can understand what exactly is happening.

So I'm Catherine, Katie for short. I'm born and raised in a small town somewhere in the north of Belgium. If you don't know it, you probably have never heard of it. It was the kind of village where everyone knew everyone and the one night stand between a daughter of the butcher and the son of the mayor was the biggest news in months.

I was the kind of girl you wouldn't notice often. I liked to stay in the background. I had friends for sure but there wouldn't be any town gossip about me anytime soon.

For the public I grew up in a normal family but behind closed doors things happened the town knew nothing about. The relationship with my parents wasn't all that great. Luckily I lived alone now, well with my boyfriend. His name is Dean. He wasn't exactly my fairytale prince but he liked me, so that's something I guess.

We had been together for two years now. We had gone through really bad weather but there were also good times. I didn't know if I was really in love with him but I thought I was, I wanted to believe I was.

And then there was Tara, my best friend since I was about ten years old. She was nine at the time but she skipped a grade because she was a smart kid. I don't exactly remember how our friendship started. I just remember it being there and that was that.

She's always there for me no matter what. I was so grateful to have her in my life. She's the one who pushed me to enter this writing competition which brought me here.

The international essay writing competition. You had to send in a short story based on information they had sent you, a mini biography so to say. The winner got to go on tour with the biggest K-pop group of the moment to write their biography. I didn't know much about them, BTS I mean, only from what I had researched but they seemed kind though.

Okay so that's enough information for now, let me get back to my story. Where was I? Oh yes:

I believe one of the guys that remained seated was the youngest one, Jungkook, he looked like he was shy or he couldn't be bothered. He took one look at me, said his name and continued playing the game on his phone.

There was one boy who didn't even look up. I could only mark his black curls coming out from behind a thick novel. I couldn't see the title but it had to be a compelling story because he only looked up after the man who had guided me here called his name about five times. "Taehyung would you be as kind to greet our guest please?" He lifted his voice and tapped Taehyung on his shoulder.

Finally he lifted his eyes and looked at me. He was handsome you could give him that.

"Oh, hi sorry, this novel is rather compelling." He explained. He smiled, what a gorgeous smile that was. "I'm Taehyung." He said. "Catherine." I told him in return. "Nice to meet you Catherine." I gave him a polite nod and he went back to his novel. I had to say I applaud him for getting into the story so deep. I knew how it could be to get sucked into a novel and forget everything around you. That was probably what he was trying to achieve so I should let him be.

"Shall I take you to your room miss?" The older man, I had already forgotten his name, said. I nodded. "Of course." I turned around and followed him. I could feel eyes staring at me but I didn't let them know I knew.

The man brought me to a large room with a small balcony, honestly you could fit an entire family in here. The bed was king-sized and curtains draped around it. It could've come straight out of an middle aged TV-show or something.

The rest of the room was even more impressive. There was a desk in front of a large window with an incredible view of the city and a sofa on the opposite site. The fabric on the sofa looked so soft I wanted to dive in immediately but I restrained to do that in front of somebody.

"And over here is your bathroom." The man told me. He held open a door opposite to the large bed.

The bathroom was even more impressive than the room itself. There was a enormous walk-in shower and a bathtub. Well it was more a hot tub judging by the size of it. "We're staying here for another week but you should be packed by next friday, then we leave for Barcelona." I nodded. I loved Barcelona, it would be amazing to go there again. I hoped that next to my work I would be able to see some sights again. It had been such a long time since I had seen the Sagrada Familia or even parc Guell.

The man, whose name I still couldn't remember, had left and I started to set up my workspace. I took out my laptop and charger and placed it outside on the table instead of the desk. It was such beautiful weather, it would be a shame to stay inside. I also took out my notebook and favourite coffee mug and placed the them on the table.

After I got some coffee and biscuits I sat down and stared at the view.

Rome stretched out in front of me. It was such a beautiful city. You could feel like living in a story here. The buildings were probably centuries old and the squares dated back to the middle ages. I could see the markets that were held there long ago.

Now the squares were filled with people, mostly tourists.

"Enjoying the view?" A deep voice said behind me.

My coffee almost spilled all over me but I was just in time to set it on the table. "You scared me." I sputtered. "I'm sorry that was not my intention." He sat down beside me, his novel still in his hands. "I'm sorry I didn't greet you properly just now." He pointed to the direction of the other room. "It's just that when I get caught up in a novel I tend-"

"To forget the world." I put in. "I know the feeling." He smiled and stared into the city. "It is beautiful view, isn't it?" I looked at Rome again. "Yes it is." He turned his head back to me. "Sorry about my friends. They are just a little bit reserved but they'll warm up to you once they get to know you." I chuckled. "What about you?"

"I took a head start." He winked. "You're writing a book about our lives, it's better to be friends with you is it not?" He grinned and I let out a soft laugh. "I suppose it is."

"Great, I needed a friend anyway." He put down his book on the table. "Well besides those pigs." He joked. I laughed along with him.

"Maybe we should get us some drinks." He proposed. "Do you drink wine?"

"Yes, I love wine, especially red."

"You read my mind." Taehyung stood up and left.

He came back a few minutes later with a bottle of red wine and two glasses.

"Well this is one thing I can scrap of my bucket list." I said while he opened the bottle and poured the wine. "Meeting us?" He teased. "No, it's rather silly."

"Come on I don't bite." He sat down and took a sip of his wine. "To drink wine on a balcony in Italy. I know it's silly." I took a big sip from my glass. The wooden aromas of the wine filled my mouth. "It's not silly. What other things are on that list?" He wondered. I saw the chimmer in his eyes and the soft smile on his lips, he really wanted to know. he wasn't mocking me. 

And for some reason I felt like I could tell him anything. "Fine, just a few though." I took another sip from my wine before speaking. "I want to see the northern lights." He nodded. "See that's not silly at all, I would also love to see the northern lights one day." The corners of his lips rose. I continued: "To see the the niagara falls." I paused for a minute. "To dance with someone on the pont d'alexandre in Paris." Out of the corner of my eye I could see him looking at me. There was something in his stare I couldn't quite make out. Admiration maybe?

"To follow route 66 along America, to sing in the rain in London." I finished. There were another hundred things on my list but he didn't need to know every one of them, we just met. "In other words, you want to see the world." He pointed out. "I do."

"Well then you chose the right job." He smirked. I chuckled. "I guess I did." We looked at the view again and drank the rest of our glasses. "So what about you?" I asked him. "Why do you do what you do?" He took a minute to think about his answer. "I just love it. I love singing, I love dancing and I love to make other people happy by doing it." He sighted. "Isn't that why all artist do it? To bring a little happiness into the world?" I lifted my shoulders. "I don't know but that was a great answer." He laughed and that showed his full smile.

It was a weird smile in the shape of a rectangle. A sort of boxy-ish smile. I kind of adored it though. It made his face light up like he was the happiest man to be alive. "Okay so I have a question for you before I decide I can be friends with you." Taehyung winked. "How do you feel about dogs?" I chuckled.

"I love dogs." I replied. "I used to have one." I could see the hint of a smile on his face telling me I had chosen the right answer. "What kind?" He asked. "A golden retriever, Olly. I still miss him sometimes." I sighted. "I just miss having a loyal best friend around." I continued. "Then why not get one?"

"Because my boyfriend doesn't really like dogs that much." He almost choked on his wine. "I'm sorry?" He said next. "What kind of monster are you dating?" I laughed. "The things one does for love." He shook his head but didn't say anything else. I was kind of relieved about that, I wasn't really ready to discuss the details of my love life with someone who was a stranger to me four hours ago.

We ended up just talking for hours about our lives. It felt as if I'd known him for years even though we'd just known each other half a day.

[coolgreatwebsite]

Cool Games I Finished In 2019 (In No Real Order)

We’re here. The end of the decade. 2019 was a weird, turbulent year for me. Despite my cross-country move already being a year behind me somehow, nothing’s really settled yet. Living situation is still weird, still separated from most of my belongings, I left my full-time QA job for a contractor position at a mobile game advertising company that may or may not convert into a full-time position... everything about what’s going on with me still just feels like I’m completely winging it, and while that’s not a position I’m really comfortable being in for such an extended amount of time, everything seems to be working out okay enough despite it. All this is probably why I spent most of my time playing the shit out of a handful of games rather than playing a bunch of different games this year! Needed some sort of stability. Also when I did manage to pull myself away from the timesink games and play something else, a lot of them ranged from “okay” to “real bad”. But I still managed to play just enough stuff that I liked to where I can put out yet another one of these.  Here’s a bunch of cool games I experienced for the first time in 2019.

Phantasy Star Online: Blue Burst (PC, 2005)

I haven’t bothered to do two thirds of the story quests yet and have barely touched any Episode 4 content so this game technically doesn’t count for this list, but if I left it off I would be neglecting to mention an extremely large portion of my video game playing time this year. I fell back into PSO preeeettty hard this year after the surprise announcement of Phantasy Star Online 2 finally coming to the US. Guess what: game still rules. It feels stiff to play and it’s obviously far less expansive than it seemed back in 2000, but the core of Phantasy Star Online is still as fun as it ever was and the aesthetics are still entirely my shit. I love everything about the way this game looks and sounds, I love stumbling on a weird new weapon, I love participating in the custom seasonal events the server I’m on runs, and I love how oddly relaxing the experience of playing this game and taking it all in is. I will probably continue to play Phantasy Star Online into 2020. I will probably still dip back into it after PSO2 US servers finally launch. If I know you and you want to join my Discord server for PSO get at me. PSO forever.

Cookie’s Bustle (PC, 1999)

You ever play a game that just speaks to you? Even through a language barrier? A game so incredibly out there and bizarre in the exact way you love that you can’t help but adore it despite barely understanding it? Holy moly did I ever find that game. I learned about Cookie’s Bustle through a news story last year about some rare games leaking from a Japanese collector’s stash. Didn’t manage to get it to run back then, but my off and on attempts to get it working finally paid off in March of this year and I’m so glad I kept trying. I knew nothing of this game other than it had a weird name and was about a bear doing sports, and it turned out to be a fully voice-acted and mostly unsubtitled adventure game starring Cookie Blair, a 5 year old girl from New Jersey who sees herself as a teddy bear and has traveled to Bombo World, an island nation once visited by aliens and currently in the middle of a civil war, to participate in the Bombo Sports Tournament. Dead level, I probably shouldn’t have been able to genuinely love Cookie’s Bustle as much as I did. The only context I had for what was happening and what I was supposed to do was provided by a 20-year-old Google translated walkthrough with broken images, the game’s slightly higher than usual reliance on English loan words, and 30-ish years of video games and anime allowing me to halfway pick up on a handful of Japanese words. However, Cookie’s Bustle is dripping with an undeniable and off-beat charm that genuinely transcends language. Even if you can’t understand the words and specifics, you can understand the basic plot, characterizations, and emotions they’re going for. Cookie’s Bustle manages to both be completely off-the-wall bizarre and feel totally genuine and heartfelt at the same time, a balance very few games manage to successfully hit but many of my favorites do. One could say that’s why it seems to have resonated with a decent amount of other people this year, too. Games rarely make me feel sad that they’re over. but when they do that’s how I know they’re one of the good ones. Seriously, go look up a longplay or stream of Cookie’s Bustle if you (understandably) don’t want to go through the hassle of setting it up and figuring out how to play it, it’s impossible not to love.

Devil May Cry 5 (PlayStation 4, 2019)

Here’s something crazy to think about: Devil May Cry 4 came out 11 years ago. Aside from being a potent reminder that time is moving too fast and we’re all going to die soon, that means that there hasn’t been a DMC for over a decade. Devil May Cry 5 does not bare this fact even a little bit. Not only did they pick up right where they left off and manage to make another Devil May Cry game without missing a beat, they made arguably the best Devil May Cry game. I mean I still like the story and single-character focus of DMC3 the best, but DMC5 is the best playing game in the series without a doubt. Nero finally feels like he has a complete and complex toolset, Dante is the most mechanically dense and fun to play he’s ever been, and they even added a new guy that’s... neat to play as, until you start trying to S-rank the harder difficulties. Then he’s kind of annoying to play as. But it’s still cool that they tried something totally different and mostly got it to work! They also did something very stupid that I love and used this game as an excuse to make literally every single piece of Devil May Cry media canon. Like, characters exclusively from the anime and the books show up and act like they’re someone you already know and love? And they go out of their way to explain the most esoteric lore shit possible?? And despite it all they still intentionally give DMC2 as short a shrift as they can??? It’s so dumb, it rules. It’s just one of the many things about the game that show that even with so long of a gap between entries, no love for the series was lost by the people that make it. I don’t think the suits at Capcom expected this game to hit as hard as it did though, because despite there being clear areas where the game could be expanded on with DLC there still hasn’t been anything announced. I hope they’re maybe saving it for some sort of DMC3-esque special edition, or maybe just already working on DMC6, because even after getting all S-ranks I still wanted to play more. The game’s just that damn good.

Hypnospace Outlaw (PC, 2019)

I expected very little from Hypnospace Outlaw. I backed the game on Kickstarter solely because it looked cool and I thought a game about fake GeoCities was neat, and then I immediately forgot about it until it released. Admittedly my lack of expectations stemmed mostly from the fact that it’s kind of hard to set expectations for a game you never really thought too hard about, but even in the brief period of time where I considered it enough to give it money, I never expected it to be much more than a pretty-looking 101 Great GeoCities Jokez delivery vehicle. Boy was I wrong. I mean, it is incredibly good at that, but Hypnospace Outlaw is so much more than a funny period piece. The basic premise is that you’re in alternate universe 1999 and have just become a community moderator for an Internet service provider that allows people to connect to the Internet while they sleep. You’re tasked with browsing the game’s weird fake Internet and issuing demerits to users who violate the five basic Hypnospace rules, but it quickly evolves into something way bigger. Hypnospace Outlaw’s greatest strength is its exceptional ability at weaving together subtle world building, small and engaging character arcs, esoteric microjokes, and a genuine sense of mystery and discovery into an incredibly cohesive and engaging package. It’s as much a game about the people that use and run its weird fake Internet as it is about that weird fake Internet itself. And a lot of the problems both face echo the problems we face with our real world Internet today. When I was mapping out writing this article like a month or two ago I was prepared to go on about how at its core, Hypnospace Outlaw is an incredibly poignant story about how uncaring tech corporations actively harm their users and always have, but then a couple of days ago I read Colin Spacetwinks’ game of the year list and his #1 entry put most everything I would have said about that topic down in a way more eloquent and well-written way than I ever could have. And then I remembered that Friend Of The Site Heidi Kemps covered some of the same angle but from the perspective of the early Internet in an article earlier this year, again way better than I could have. So I highly recommend you read those when you’re done here. What I wanna bring up instead is just how effortlessly surprising and interconnected a lot of stuff in Hypnospace feels, using a mildly spoiler-ish late game example. Two of the first “zones” you’re allowed to moderate when you start Hypnospace Outlaw are Teentopia and Goodtime Valley, which are essentially alternate universe Yahooligans and a little slice of Hypnospace just for Boomers respectively. On Teentopia you’ll see a bunch of kids that are wild for Squisherz, Hypnospace’s alternate universe version of Pokémon, and over in Goodtime Valley you’ll see (much like there was back in real world 1999) a few pages made by religious fundamentalists convinced that everything the kids like these days is the work of Satan. This of course includes Squisherz, and you can find a page by one organization full of crackpot conspiracy theories with flimsy evidence that TOTALLY DEFINITELY backs up their claim. Squisherz contains a wolf, which the Bible warns about many times! This giraffe monster CLEARLY has a pentagram in its design!! And the eye of this snake-like Squisherz is the eye of Horus, an Egyptian occult symbol and NEED I REMIND YOU that Lucifer took the form of a snake in the Garden of Eden!!! It is very clear what this page is goofing on and throughout the course of the game it doesn’t get updated at all, so it’s very easy to laugh at it and forget about it. Very late into the game, you get an optional sidequest. Adrian Merchant, one of the CEOs of Merchantsoft, the company that created Hypnospace, was found out to have logged traffic indicating he was a frequent visitor of a website called Children of HORUS, and a call is put out to investigate what that even is. You can easily find the website, but it asks you for a password if you click the Enter button. Adrian Merchant is consistently portrayed throughout the game as a complete idiot, and the solution to this puzzle has you capitalize on that. Another early game objective ended up with you finding a list of cracked passwords, and one of those passwords happens to be for the instant messenger account of Adrian Merchant. If you can remember that he was even in that text file from forever ago, and then put two and two together that of COURSE that dumbass would use the same password for everything, you just punch in his messenger password and you’re granted access to the Children of HORUS page. It turns out that HORUS is an acronym that stands for Hiding Occult References in Utmost Secrecy, and the page itself is a basic leaderboard with a list of names and two numbered columns reading “Hidden” and “Found”. In that list of names you’ll find A. Merchant, along with the names of various other CEOs and celebrities you might have read about elsewhere in Hypnospace. One of the other names on this list is F. Kazuma, the CEO of Monarch, creators of Squisherz. The funny conspiracy theory website from the beginning of the game that you most likely forgot about was, about this one specific thing, correct. There was an eye of Horus hidden on the snake from Squisherz. Not as any sort of Satanic plot, mind you, but only as part of some weird millionaire dickwaving contest. This dumb tiny revelation is not called out by the game at all and nothing comes of it, it’s just there for you to notice if you’ve been paying enough attention. Hypnospace Outlaw is LITTERED with stuff like this. Weird small interconnected things you wouldn’t expect to be interconnected. Little dumb things you wouldn’t expect to have any sort of payoff but somehow do. And it’s also just as chock full of big things. Having all the pieces fall into place at once to where I was able to access Hypnospace’s equivalent of the dark web was the best sequence in a game this year for me, even beating out the outlandish shit in DMC5. Getting and solving the final case was a rush. Hypnospace Outlaw is full of incredible moments big and small. It’s genuinely engaging and affecting, which is so much more than I was expecting from a game that was pitched to me as “Funny GeoCities Cop”. It almost has no right being so good. But it is. Hell, even the music rules! I didnt even get into that! I don't have enough time or space to get into that now! The music is so goddamn good! I know I started these lists because I had no interest in ranking games, but every year I sort of jokingly-but-not-jokingly say “haha this game sure would be my number one if I did that!” for at least one game. It’s time to fully lean into it. I don’t gotta rank ‘em all, but I can pick a favorite. Hypnospace Outlaw is my favorite game of 2019 with a goddamn bullet.

These games were also cool, I just had less to say about them:

Etrian Odyssey (Nintendo DS, 2007): Man, this series just started out good, huh? I dabbled with the first two games in college when I got a DS flashcart but never really dug in until EO4, and the first game is enjoyable in just about every way the modern ones are. Definitely more barebones and punishing though. Kero Blaster (PlayStation 4, 2017): This is a game by the creator of Cave Story that does not aim to be Cave Story, and that’s fine! A fun little shooter in its own right, though I do think the shooting in Cave Story felt a little better than it does here. Space Invaders Extreme (Nintendo DS, 2008): I played the shit out of this game in college thanks to that flashcart I mentioned before, but I never finished a playthrough in full until this year for some reason. Still way stylish and way fun! I need to get a copy of the second one... CROSSNIQ+ (Nintendo Switch, 2019): Incredibly chill puzzle game that can be as hard or easy as you want it to be. Almost uncanny in how well it emulates the style of late PS1/Dreamcast games. Super Mario Maker 2 (Nintendo Switch, 2019): Mario Maker 2 is kind of weird for me. It’s a solid improvement in a lot of aspects, but a clear regression in a lot of others. Also the online multiplayer is the second least amount of fun I’ve had with a video game this year (Secret of Mana swooped in and stole the number one slot near the end). Still, I had a lot of fun with it and I’ll probably end up going back to it eventually. Katamari Damacy Reroll (Nintendo Switch, 2018): The original Katamari Damacy is still every bit as fun and charming as it was upon its original release. This port is weirdly based on the Japanese version with the English text inserted, which means no English voice acting and Wanda Wanda only plays in the multiplayer mode. The Joycon sticks also aren’t the greatest for doing charge rolls. But none of these faults detract too much from the game. Bring on We Love Katamari Reroll! Earth Defense Force 5 (PlayStation 4, 2018): Sandlot somehow keeps finding ways to make each new EDF bigger and explodier, and EDF5 is the biggest and explodiest yet. I think the mission design in 4.1 was more solid overall, but 5 feels the best to play and has the most fun tools. Also the dialogue is the most absurd its ever been, and the final boss goes for it way harder than the series ever has. Pokémon Shield (Nintendo Switch, 2019): This game is honestly just okay, but leaving it off would again be neglecting a game I put a ton of time into this year. Pokémon Sword is fun in the way most Pokémon games usually are, and extremely half-baked in basically every other aspect. I’m still having a good time putting together teams and finding shinies and doing The Pokémon Thing regardless.

And that’s 2019 (and this decade) in the bag! I don’t know where anything’s going from here, but I’m going to ride it out as best as I can! I hope you do too! As always, thank you so much for getting to the bottom of all these words. I’m hoping to be in a more stable place mid-2020, and then I want to get back to all the things I haven’t had time to do. I want to get back to streaming, I want to write more dumb articles like The Best Babies, I want to do it all! I hope I will be able to do it all. Until then!