cosplayingwitch

[cosplayingwitch]

“If you give a man a fish, he will eat for a day; if you teach a man to fish, he will eat for a lifetime,” but you have done neither. You have stood before us and eaten fish after fish, and chided us for our greed as you have done so. You have cast aside their offal and simultaneously chided us for our waste. You then told us that, coincidentally, you owned the river, and our parents should have gotten us the same if we wanted fish. You gave a man a fish to murder us if we step too close to the river, or speak too loud, or eat a fish from another river. You’ve copyrighted the fishing net. It costs us fish to leave.

[cosplayingwitch]

oh and when i was a year old, after i got my foot amputated my parents were pushing me around in a stroller at a street festival in miami and i was chewing on my foot or whatever and this street performer came up to us and was like “aw i bet that tastes good!!” and my dad was like “yeah look at what she did to the other one!!!!” and pulled back the blanket covering my left leg to show a stump with a huge scar on it and i’m pretty sure my dad terrified that poor man

[cosplayingwitch]

Thunderbolts*

everyone deserves a second shot and a second pat pat ;)

[cosplayingwitch]

ideal living situation is what i call the 'sitcom special' : having all your closest friends live in the same apartment building or neighborhood where you each have your own space but can wander in and out of eachothers homes at will, seemingly always welcome and never at bad times. and also all of you only have jobs when its important to the plot.

[cosplayingwitch]

Two stunning winners ✨️

[cosplayingwitch]

have you ever cried over a celebrity's death?

[cosplayingwitch]

I grew up as the "ugly friend" so it's so weird when someone compliments me

[cosplayingwitch]

Today, I spent 4 HOURS measuring, pattern drafting, fabric cutting, and sewing a fucking union uniform for a STUFFED BIRD.

And I kept coming to the conclusion that I am incapable of math as I reached repeated points of either too little or too much fabric.

[cosplayingwitch]

what super expensive indulgence would u get for urself if u suddenly came into a bunch of money?? assume all bills/mortgages paid, all friends helped: what treat are u buying just for u?? for me it would be a quilted lambskin chanel bag in iridescent pink

[cosplayingwitch]

At my work, we made lemonade from a historic cookbook (Buckeye Cookery, if you're interested, pre-1890s edition) and, my God, IT WAS THE BEST FUCKING LEMONADE I'VE HAD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

And since I love yall, here's the recipe:

3 Lemons (like, really good ones. I tried making it with some shittier lemons and got sugar water)

1 cup sugar

1/2 gallon or so water with or without ice

Roll/squeeze the lemons until soft then cut thin and place into bottom of your pitcher. DO NOT SQEEZE THE JUICE OUT AND TOSS THE LEMON. LEAVE IT ALONE.

Add the sugar over the lemons, let them sit for 10-15 minutes.

Only AFTER waiting this time can you add the water and stir vigorously.

Let sit a few more minutes (left unspecified) and serve. (If you're like me, you'll want to serve it through a strainer to catch the lemon pulp.)

For anyone curious, Michigan State University did a project digitizing historic cookbooks, including this one, and they're available online for free as PDFs.

[cosplayingwitch]

This is a pro-choice blog.

It’s an I wanted this baby but at my anatomy scan I found out my baby will die after it’s born blog.

It’s an I’m not financially, mentally or emotionally stable enough to bring a child into this world blog.

It’s an I can’t live with the result of my sexual assault blog.

It’s an I miscarried but the fetus will not evacuate on its own blog.

It’s an I will die if I carry this to term blog.

It’s an I don’t want to be fucking pregnant blog.

It’s a pro-choice blog.

If you see this decision as a win, educate yourself. People with uteruses WILL die. And if that’s okay with you, don’t claim you’re pro-life.

Oh, and a big, fat FUCK YOU.

[cosplayingwitch]

Things I did not anticipate for myself this year (other than the whole quitting my job thing):

-Starting walking/running 5Ks

-Getting back into resin art

-Learning to knit and being pretty decent at it

-Joining a coven

Kinda loving it all though

[cosplayingwitch]

[cosplayingwitch]

i’m not kidding fucking tag me in this shit or whatever i want to know what your names would have been in the fuckin. 1930s! it’s so fun i feel like i’m uncovering other little izzys under rocks and leaves it’s so pleasant

[cosplayingwitch]

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

[cosplayingwitch]

oh shit, it's 3/21/23, 32123, palindrome day