top five worst (or best depending on how u look at it) pieces of asoiaf discourse
god. oh god.
any variation on dany v sansa v arya. GO OUTSIDE!!!!! i tend to find discourse pretty funny since im an observer but this makes me seethe and mald etcetc. how are they SO sexist yet convinced theyre the real feminists
catelyn stark discourse. KYS!!! she was right and cool and sexy.
pro/anti house targaryen disk horse. i LOVE this one cos im soooo right. YES they are sexy and cool and the most fun. YES they are evil and emotionally abusive emotionally incestuous literally incestuous and the incest IS bad. and theyre sexist! no matter what you say they are sexist!
cheating but all of hotdtwt. GET A LIFE!! all ship discourse all morality discourse all female character discourse all of it. touch grass etcetc
greens vs blacks. im sorry but the centrist anti-war belief is the right one actually. sorry u had to find out this way :/
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stranger things season one 2016 was so fucking incredible. it exists as an entirely different entity to me than the rest of the show. you literally just had to be there. to this day nothing has ever come close to the amount of universal love for a fictional story that stranger things first received. ive been chasing this high for eight years.
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matrophobia
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getting her ready for her wedding SHES SO PRETTY!!
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very busy babysitting a duo of kittens (only two months old) the last few days but i shall be drawing when i return home (this includes requests)
and also if anyone wants to see the babies send an ask and i can post them in response hehe i have taken SO many photos
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Alright boys pack it up no more rain world posting new oni dlc is coming out in less than a week
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ahh.. I have tickets for a small music festival tmr which I went to last year + had a whale of a time but this year theres only like 2 artists I wanted to see but they released the schedule a couple days ago and neither are playing before 9:30pm. since I don't live local anymore I'd have to leave to travel back home around that time or I'd miss the last train... and there's not rly anywhere I can crash overnight there (and I was planning on going alone anyway like I did last year). so I think im gonna have to let this one pass me by :-(
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Surprise! I am going to rant about my own redesign and art! I think this is me mentally preparing for the helluva boss episode next week and praying to god it’s actually good. I’ve also been nursing a bit of a hangover today so forgive me if my wording is a bit more jumbled than usual
Im a big fan of my Angel Dust redesign, but in the general aspect of my art, a lot of my poses are a bit flat. That can be from either posing issues on my end, trouble with facial features, or just some secret third thing, but I think so far Ive been enjoying drawing much more cartoonishly as of recent. That vox canon & headcanon drawing was super super fun to do even though it was supposed to be vivzies style, but I used to have a style with more sharp angles and pointy curves that I honestly kind of miss, I also miss playing with cartoonish proportions!!
My art style may end up changing eventually, but my main pieces will stay in my usual style and my more doodle-y ones will probably be in a more cartoony style like the ones above. While theyre definitely closer to canon and meant to be inspired as such, the difference is that I can draw diverse body types in said artstyle! I also cant lie, Angel’s chest fluff is one of my absolute favourite things to draw and it’s so easy in this style…
About my redesigns though! This is mostly about Angel, but I’m gonna slap this here from DMs with a friend: “Im so pleased with this genuinely im so happy he has his little pedipalps, theyre technically also still his fangs but now he can move them and stuff and :33 typically for male spiders the pedipalps are a reproductive organ but that isnt the case for angel or many other arachnid or insect sinners id say so I think personally most of them have developed pedipalps for primarily other reasons like fangs in Angels case or maybe something similar to cat whiskers for other people”
In my original angel dust redesigns I just couldn’t find a way to draw his fangs in a way that made me happy because I want to keeo the same energy in his face as the original. Big clunky fangs that stick out just didn’t work for him and while they made him look like a spider, he lost that sort of angel-ness that I need when drawing him so I instead looks to the pedipalp aspect of spiders to move them off of his mouth and more onto his cheeks. It’s a very small change but it improved the design in my eyes significantly and just really made me a lot happier. I wont be updating his redesign post as of right now and maybe never will, but if I do yknow why now!
I just really really like drawing this guy a bit rubbery, hes supposed to be fluffy so like he should move kinda soft in a way? I dunno how to explain it rn, its 2 AM at the time of writing this so im gonna lay the hell down now!
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For some reason, when she kissed him, he thought of Theo.
Previous | Chapter Start | Beginning | Next
Transcript under the cut.
WOMAN 1 | ...for real, I've been like, completely obsessed.
WOMAN 1 | Like, there was hardly any wedding coverage for Jacques and Vivi, right? And that was my first royal wedding! I thought it was normal! I didn't know I was missing out.
WOMAN 2 | Right? It feels like everyone's been saving up all their hype.
WOMAN 1 | Has anyone else been following the dress rumors?
WOMAN 2 | [ sighs ] I just hope Emily's dress isn't as boring as Vivi's was.
WOMAN 2 | Vivi's whole wardrobe is boring! She dresses like a toddler, it is so unflattering.
WOMAN 1 | I know, right? She should ask Lady Em to take her shopping.
WOMAN 3 | Lady Emily is soooo gorgeous.
WOMAN 2 | She's too good for him. He's always been such a scrub.
WOMAN 1 | Whatever! I'm just glad it's a real love story, not just a shotgun wedding. An office romance... [ dreamy sigh ] Like, it could have been me!
THEO | [ scoffs ]
[ The conversation died immediately, and the silence solidified into something like hostility. Theo turned to see five pale, contemptuous faces fixed on her back, and her heart jumped up into her throat. Fighting to keep her expression neutral and her voice even, she stood and announced to no one that she was going to lunch. They pretended not to hear her. ]
WOMAN 1 | ...she is such a stuck-up b-word.
WOMAN 2 | Did you know that she used to date Prince Frederick?
WOMAN 1 | Oh my god. Her?
WOMAN 2 | Yeah. That's how she got hired here after she got disbarred or whatever.
WOMAN 3 | Yeah. And her mom dated the King before he married the Queen.
WOMAN 1 | Oh my god. She's a second-generation royal girlfriend? Gross.
WOMAN 2 | D'you think her daughter will actually land a prince?
WOMAN 3 | Why not? [ giggles ] Third time's the charm!
[ Even in the warmer months, the gardens at Yew Court Palace stood empty. In February, the fountains were dry and the ivy dormant. Fat crows stirred in the bare branches overhead. Somewhere nearby, muffled by hedges, came the low hum of passing traffic. ]
[ It was a food place to be alone. ]
THEO: I am going to kill myself or my coworkers, havent decided yet
FREDDY: Nooooo dont do that
FREDDY: Id have noone to text if you were dead
THEO: Aw, no friends?
FREDDY: Nope :(
THEO: Pobrecito
FREDDY: O baby. Talk dirty to me
THEO: Lmao
THEO: For real though
THEO: Gonna kill my coworkers
THEO: Or myself
FREDDY: What did they do this time
THEO: They are just openly talking shit about me now
THEO: IN FRONT OF ME
FREDDY: Wtf????????
FREDDY: Want me to have them fired lol
THEO: I can fight my own battles tyvm
FREDDY: Whats your battle plan? Stapler in jello? Sign them up for boner pill emails?
THEO: Find a new job and leave them here to choke on their own incompetence
FREDDY: Love when you talk about choking :heart_eyes:
THEO: LMAO perv
FREDDY: Cant help myself lol
FREDDY: Anyway…sorry about your terrible job. Mine kinda sucks rn too
THEO: Isn’t your job rn wedding planning??
FREDDY: But it’s not it’s actually mediating between my mom and Emily
THEO: Do they not get along?
FREDDY: No they get along fine but it’s like.
FREDDY: My mom clearly has Ideas (tm) about how the wedding should be and em clearly wants something completely diferent and it is just constant
FREDDY: Theyre killing meeeeeee
THEO: That sucks. Are you at least getting your own ideas in too?
FREDDY: Not really…altho tbf if i was getting my way it’d be like. Courthouse wedding. In and out.
THEO: My parents got married at city hall
FREDDY: Dreams really do come true
THEO: They sure do
THEO: Okay this is going to sound weird but...I felt like the wedding plans didn’t really seem like you
THEO: if that makes sense?
THEO: Like I get that you're a prince but a huge formal wedding isn't your vibe at alllll
FREDDY: You know me…my kind of party involves a lot more helicopters and blow
THEO: LMAO I thought there was just the one helicopter
FREDDY: See this is why we’re friends lol
FREDDY: You keep me honest
[ soft knocking ]
EMILY | Frederick? Are you okay in there?
FREDERICK | [ muffled ] Be right out!
EMILY | Are you alright? You were gone a while...
FREDERICK | Aw, did you miss me?
EMILY | Just making sure you didn't fall in.
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mutual 1: WDYM none of you have heard explosion gun ???? theyre from the 1930s, sure but they literally made the best song ever [long title or series of numbers that have no meaning]
mutual 2: hey guys can you fill out this survey for my class? its about 15 minutes and it would mean a lot!! i love you
mutual 3: ughhhhh can this guy stop flirting with me? i told him to kill himself after he said [horrifically racist sentence] and he hasnt gotten the hint
mutual 4: im liveblogging a game from 12 years ago if you dont want spoilers im tagging my posts about it as #plwm3 liveblog !!
mutual 5: [poll] should i brutally murder this oc before or after he gets divorced
mutual 6: ok I knowwww im learning 6 languages rn but it would be so fun to learn russian.....
mutual 7: what do you mean you freaks dont dip your bananas in orange juice??? This is literally so normal why are you call me the weird one
mutual 8: just finished meeting up with mutual 9 irl it was so fun im gonna miss you now that you're home again </3
mutual 9: mutual 8 locked me in a basement for 4 hours and played clown music. i wish i couldve stayed longer
mutual 10: OMG THE NEW TRAILER FOR BRIMBLUS JUST DROPPED?????? EVERYONEEE LOOOOOOOK
mutual 11: my dad got me a milkshake breakdown cancelled everyone 🎉🎉
mutual 12: this post reminds me of *******
mutual 13: mutual ^ is talking about scorblo btw
mutual 12: HEY???? MUTUAL 13???? CAN YOU KILL YOURSELF????
mutual 14: [describes the most horrific repeated childhood trauma] but idk if im allowed to say i have mental illness cause im not diagnosed
mutual 15: guys do you think im more blue or purple coded :3
mutual 16: in response to all the transformers fandom callout calling me lesbophobic and racist: [ten paragraphs that make it clear they're clearly the only normal person in this scenario]
mutual 17: wait you guys are actually going to pumpkin patches? i thought those were made up ive never seen a pumpkin irl before...
mutual 18: guys can anybody see me. Please. No one's responding am I shadowbanned or do you all hate me [they're shadowbanned]
mutual 19: ugh this one customer keeps brutally murdering our servers at the restaurant i work at i wanna quit sooo bad but i might get promoted soon so idk
mutual 20: [reblogs a web weaving post about judas] UGH i need to fuck him sloppy style and **** ****** ***** **** *** ***
mutual 21: spam reblogs a genshin character
mutual 22: [screenshot of mutual 21s blog with filtered tags of the characters] you're lucky i care about you so much.
mutual 23: i think im losing my grip on reality. omg wait but look at this cute dog i saw walking home the other day
mutual 24: hi everyone! i just got back from a 6 month social media break :) hope everyones been doing well!
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talking in tongues here
Language and psychosis is so frustrating, and thats the topic of this post so this is going to be a bit jumbled. I'm going to write and not edit this much
physically
Physically, it's very simple: sometimes it feels like it takes immense exertion to move your tongue to speak, to get your vocal chords to make noise. personally, sometimes it feels like the words feel like water spilling out out of your mouth. its exhausting to an extent I can't exactly describe.
internally
Internally, it gets more complicated as it also applies to writing and also magical thinking. You have a lot of thoughts. A lot. And some of them dont even feel like your own. I've always described it as... Listening to your own internal ideas in your head, but theyre in a different language, and you have to translate them before saying them out loud. And then sometimes you get the translation wrong. Going back to physically, sometimes this means you stumble on your words and straight up accidentally say the wrong thing (anything from accidentally saying "chair" instead of "stair" because they sound similar, to utter nonsense that has no origin or relation), and sometimes it means mistranslating intention (not in emotionality--though that is an element at play--but in diction) idk if this is making any sense. Like saying "go right" when you were absolutely thinking and intending "go left." I think, similarly, an example is.. I can *barely* speak to my phone assistant. It's *really* difficult* for me to say out loud "Okay, Google, play 'Eternal Blue' by Spiritbox on Spotify," I just CANT get the thoughts in order. it's why I like going off-script. It's kind of faascinatiing when you see this happen in writing, though very time-consuming to catch and fix it all (too bad writing is one of my hobbies haha)
magical thinking
here's the most prominent monster, in my opinion. Magical thinking and paranoia is what governs my writing and speech 100% of the time. One-hundred-percent-of-the-time. I know it plays a huge role in my introverted tendencies. it's where.. You say or write something and you think that because you've said it out loud or someone has heard it/read it, something will happen. This can be something so much as "I said the car will crash, so now it most definitely will" to, far more abstract, "I included the word 'granite' in describing something and now because i chose to use that word instead of something else, my food at home will be poisoned" (this is also a tell of OCD, btw).
anyways im making this post this because I think about having this discussion every time i mention things like "the geiger counter." Sometimes alternative wording feels safer to me. in this instance, "geiger counter" refers to "paranoia" or "I'm getting more paranoid." it gags me just to admit to it here. but I hope it paints a picture
I know I'm missing some things I wanted to discuss (oof, there's an example, I wanted to use a different word other than "discuss" here), but everything is like static sludge rn. I hope this grants some insight to anyone.
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so, jojos and autism
Since it's 7 am and i have nothing else to do, I've decided to compile a list of Jojo characters that i think may be autistic. Because there are. A LOT.
Part 3
Jotaro: dude. He is literally THE most autistic anime character I've ever seen in my entire life. How he gets upset over stupid shit but remains calm during actually distressful situations. How he's mostly quiet and his expression is always the same. HOW HE THINKS EVERYONE ELSE KNOWS WHAT HE IS THINKING. and also that one clip with koichi where he is UNABLE to make small talk. Yeah
kakyoin: Self isolated masking child prodigy that memorizes random trivia he finds and uses it as a conversation starter. Literally feels like he is alone in the world and no one can understand him because no one tries and no one can, he also has an extremely internalized displeasure and apathy towards the world... This is mostly subtext but if you pay attention its there, i love my boy
Part 4
Kira: extreme anxiety over his nails, masks all the time, kind of infodumps, lack of empathy, obsession with his routines, etc. This one i am not so sure about, as he definetely has antisocial personality disorder and his obsessions with his routine and his nails could be interpreted as OCD. just some thoughts
rohan: OK HEAR ME OUT. No social awareness, has a very specific way of writing his manga, DOESNT CARE WHEN HIS HOUSE IS BURNING DOWN AND WANTS TO KNOW HOW JOSUKE CHEATED. Licks a fucking spider and doesnt see the problem!!!!!!! ik yall hate him (affectionately????) but i just had to say this.
Part 5
Giorno: usually monotonous voice, thinks outside of the box, always the same expression, socially distant. This one is mostly a gut feeling, but it could also be interpreted as him being a very traumatized kid.
Part 6
Weather Report: RAPTOR HANDS? ONLY WHISPERING TO PEOPLE HE TRUSTS IN FRONT OF PEOPLE HE DOESNT KNOW? TIPTOEING??? yeah
Anasui: (disclaimer: i hate jolysui i hate him as a person i hate how the manga did him i hope he just stays in his little queerplatonic relationship with weather while taking care (very horribly might i add) of emporio and never is exposed to the outside world. i love him. ughhhhh) lack of social cues, especially with jolyne, obsession with dismembering things, extreme emotional outbursts,,, the signs are there, but it could also be interpreted as ocd, ocpd and intermittent explosive personality disorder, respectly. whatever.
Pucci: uses prime numbers as stimming mechanism, kind of sees social interactions unconventionally, lack of empathy (but not as much as kira, also no clear malicious intent, so i dont think hes coded as a psychopath?). Again, could be interpreted as OCD.
not gonna add foo fighters because theyre literally plankton but they do have autistic traits
i havent finished part 7 and havent started part 8. as of writing this, part 9 currently just released its first chapter, and i dont see any autistic traits in any of the characters rn. might edit this in the future and add anyone that i might have missed or just discovered through reading the later parts. Thats all i wanted to say, thanks 4 reading
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i love all the comics coming out about luz explaining bisexuality to hunter theyre all so fucking funny and choice. i gotta join the headcanon train i've been thinking about how this would go down and CANNOT stop imagining, just. like. god
hunter already knows he finds any gender attractive. however hunter did NOT know that there's a word for this. he basically asks luz why there's a word for "water is wet" and luz is like oh boy. alright i'm not explaining homophobia to you. but hunter are you. are you aware that.... that not...... not everyone. is bisexual
hunter was not aware of this. hunter finds this entire concept both baffling and vexing. so he immediately starts in with a million threads of "but HOW. but WHY. but that MAKES NO SENSE" that just get increasingly autistic. while luz is like I DUNNO DUDE. SEXUALITY IS FLUID I CAN'T WRITE YOU A THESIS ON IT RN I AM FOURTEEN YEARS OLD I'M JUST ONLINE
hunter's like "but that's STUPID!!!" luz is like my man. my guy. my dude my pal. you have No Idea how many microaggressions you're committing right now. Ohhh My God
then in trying to explain it Again, luz is very patiently like "well i like a lot of different types of people! amity likes girls exclusively though. it's just how she is"
which causes hunter to get caught in another loop of "BUT WHY THOUGH. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH BOYS THEY LOOK NICE"
"she's just never liked a boy like that!"
"BUT WHAT IF ONE DAY SHE MEETS A NEW BOY AND THEN-"
"oh my god. hunter. you had no way of knowing this so it's okay but 'maybe someday you'll meet the right person' is like, the WORST thing you can POSSIBLY say. don't do that. it really doesn't matter That Much. you don't have to get it. it's fine"
hunter's like well okay fair enough i don't care enough about it to tread on people's toes. but also i hate this. i hate that you have cursed me with this knowledge and that i'm going to lay awake haunted for at least a week trying to figure it all out. why doesn't everybody in the entire world just do things that make sense to me, someone who is completely normal and rational about everything all the time
luz is like. alright drama queen. we can find some books and articles and stuff about it. is that cool??
hunter agrees to this and immediately perks up upon being told that there's an entire field of study just dedicated to stuff like this. but then after a second, still sounding just as vexed as before, he goes "i feel like i must be missing something obvious. i don't even know what gender MEANS"
"okay. what if.... i tell you...... that there are words for that, too."
"NOOOOOOOOOO,"
and basically all of this deeply silly nonsense resolves with luz just being like. alright my bisexual genderqueer weirdo broski whom i love so much. PLEASE ask me for etiquette tips before you go out and meet Literally Any gay people at all in the human world, anywhere, ever. i am Fucking Begging You,
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hello hate been think bout ur ocs . any lore u wanna share? i just like em a lot
GRAH. this is hard to answer bc theyr hard to sum up.. i have my main most developed ocs; budgie, reneta & lion.. aannndd my fav oc group; aksel, jørgen, wolfgang, szlomo, erik & thomas. theyr a 2nd wave inspired black metal group..
icant rlly casually explain budgie n reneta so uhh,
aksel started his band, behead, with jørgen & wolfgang joined shortly after bc he's real close w jørgen since she's multilingual n translates for him all the time. wolfie only speaks german n vaguely understands some norwegian. not long into the band wolfie gets diagnosed with fatal insomnia & it slowly kills him., they bury him in the backyard of the house theyr sharing since they can't afford anything fancy or to even contact his family in germany. eventually they hire some rando (erik) as their replacement drummer. but erik actually hates drumming n really dreams of being a dsbm vocalist. so he sorta wears down jørgen n aksel til they let him take over as singer and band leader. one of the key moments for him in behead is him cutting down wolfies grave marker w an axe, in protest of all jørgens 'this isn't what he wldve wanted' arguements. but eriks shit at singing and his dsbm style clashes with the rest of beheads theme. on top of that he signs them to his older brothers record label, even tho thomas is (known only to erik at the time) a murderer. it all destroys the band over a couple years n they split up for good & erik moves onto whatever other bands later on.
szlomo matters bc in the early days he's beheads artist n biggest groupie basically. he designs their merch n logos., despite kinda being blind as shit. he was born w polychoria, a cleft lip & really messed up teeth bc his parents (czeslaw & kasia) are siblings. hes visually based on hellhorse's decade of dust album cover. plus his old pet owl's name is decade. he met behead thru jørgen, they were online friends for years. when jørgen moved from denmark to norway, szlomo moved frm poland with her.
ilove szlomo bc his design is so unique and idk. he's cute. he's real clumsy bc of his eyesight, he doesn't wear glasses or contacts plus he wears his hair over his face. he's a really joyous creature.
aksel can look pretty tough and metal but he's actually a really big softie.. he's got a kind heart n is pretty emotional, he mostly just misses his little sister, who moved to america to join her own band. they grew up with an abusive father n absent mother so he's really protective of her.
thomas and erik r lowkey visually & slightly personality-wise based on craig mabbit and ronnie radke.. tho thomas is a lot angrier than craig. both brothers have severe anger issues and narcissistic traits. iirc thomas murdered @decemberhigherpower's bm oc, kristian, in uhhh 2001 ? and only got caught for it around the time behead split up. so like 2006 ? ithink ??
that's all ican rlly be bothered w typing out atm, but actually if u add me on my alt discord (locked outta my main rn) hatemaget icould talk more abt them. i llooooove discord vms
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a bit more serious/negative note on childes characterization and fandom perception, saw a post where the tone upset me quite a bit
i did do a whole vent/rant/cathartic 2.4k words of writeup on this yesterday which like did help clear my thoughts a lot but in hindsight is way too long to just release by itself so i suppose ill just summarize my thinking now
so i would really appreciate it if a certain subset of childe fans reading his character a specific way (the trauma, identity crisis, dark abyss experiences, etc. - you know the one) could stop acting as if its this like. superior canon proven hoyo intended most real and intellectual way to look at his character and interpret his narrative. as opposed to just one reading of the canon material among others. and im sure most people are civil but ive seen this tone enough to just need to get this off my chest rn.
like im not "missing" something or being "tricked" (what?) by childe or the narrative. its not some naive ignorance about this reading being a thing and the ways people argue for it. ive read his lore. p much memorized it rly. and i simply did not find the arguments that compelling or feel that inserting this additional layer of subjective interpretation atop my understanding of the canon text did much to enhance childes narrative potential or characterization for me.
simply put. applying this super strict irl psychology logic (bc yes a real 14 yo going thru some irl version of ajax' backstory would get severe psychological disturbances as p much given. i know what the DSM-V is) to fantasy game characters isnt how i enjoy engaging with childe or any character really.
genshin is a fantasy game and fantasy as a genre has always readily sidestepped things like realistic psychological consequences of various heavy experiences in favor of building a compelling narrative whenever necessary. i dont find arguments relating to irl psychology particularly relevant at all on the subject really. if you enjoy this approach, go on, have fun! but please understand that its an interpretation that people can disagree without being "wrong" or failing some arbitrary reading comprehension test.
like the dismissive tone i see from people who simply cannot comprehend that like no, this take isnt some universal truth of hoyos that every person will glean from reading up on childes lore and appearances if theyre big brain and intellectual enough is just... really fucking rude? and alienating.
im not going to go on a like whole ramble on all the things that i personally see very much as hinting towards childes characterization going quite a different direction than this popular heavy self-doubt, psychological angle would suggest. its my interpretation after all, and could be proven wrong the way any interpretation can. but for now ive read his lore for years and looked into every single tidbit that involves him and so far hoyos writing of him hasnt given me any convinving case for changing my view drastically anytime soon. and id just like to be allowed to exist in this fandom space without being randomly jumpscared by posts alleging im reducing his character to this or that just bc i see his greatest narrative potential elsewhere.
theres enough insane shit and incredibly interesting lore relating to his overall role in the story and the cosmic scale of teyvat as a whole to be invested in already. like taking childes character as depicted to us and how in-game content characterizes him at a relative face value as opposed to seeking an implied internal struggle of sth hidden and repressed is me simply finding that take the most unique, fascinating, horrifying, compelling and exciting way to see him instead. thats what i love about him and his character. like im sorry, in my eyes the dark past corrupting innocence and trauma angle has just been done to death already in media. childe can have something actually different and breaking those tropes is what makes him stand out for me!
anyway. this whole situation is not sth i wanna start flaming ppl for or make into some drama, i try my best to stay on my lane and let ppl live even if i disagree w these sorta takes on childe. and i just wish for that grace to be extended towards myself too.
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