#mini analyses or whatever

[riseriseleo]

do you ever think about how tim really didn't have friends in research.

(from @trans-jon-rights thanks for the pic max <3)

i think tim was hard to talk to. but not hard in the way that he joked too much. no, in the way that he was standoffish and short with people. he had a goal, a drive, and he couldn't let anyone or anything distract him.

(cough buried tim drowning under grief cough desolation tim prepared to burn the world down cough lonely tim who has no one at all and barely had danny before he disappeared cough i could go on)

sasha was the one who drew him out of his shell. who took him out to the bar, to loosen up. she became his single spot of light in the dark cave that he was lost in.

and then jon, who was a little too much like him that it kind of jolted tim out of the headspace. he ate lunch with jon, they helped each other with research, they grew close ish. tim is the only person who knows about georgie.

and then jon got promoted and sasha didn't and he was just a little bitter towards jon. jon is still his friend, so he tried to hide it behind jokes and a smile, because he's gotten back into the mindset of 'humor to cope', but still.

and then sasha is gone and jon is Becoming and danny is—and the circus—

and then nothing, because tim is no more.

[yooniivrse]

subtle changes | myg

summary. your carefully structured mornings takes a heartwarming turn when yoongi becomes a welcome part of your days, leaving you unexpectedly craving more.

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pairing: yoongi x f!reader

word count: 3.9k

warnings: none :3 (i think, plz tell me if i missed something)

a/n: the end of summer hit me like a truck, which is why this took super long 😭 i'll try my best and have an update schedule to keep me on track, but no promises! idk how i feel about this chapter but you guys have been waiting for too long lol. i hope you enjoy <333

!!! this is the second part of a mini-series. you can read this as a stand alone, but things make more sense if you read the first part !!!

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You were very fond of routines.

You liked knowing what would happen next; liked being able to go into auto pilot as your body steered you through the morning, liked leaving it up to your routine to anchor you back to reality whenever life took a toll on you.

Usually, you hated change. You hated its unpredictability; hated the way it slapped at you abruptly like a whip, hated the queasy feeling that bubbled in your stomach whenever it occurred.

But the change that snaked into your strict routine was welcomed with warm, open arms. He slotted into your mornings and evenings with ease, like a jigsaw piece that fits perfectly into the space in a puzzle. A puzzle that happens to be your life.

Yoongi was the first person you greeted every morning before leaving for work or classes. He left his home at the same time as you—something you only noticed in the last fortnight—and would wave at you from his door. You returned the gesture with a bright smile, one that was starting to feel almost too natural.

He waited for you every day without fail, with hands shoved deep into his pockets as he leaned against the wall. When you finally managed to reach his door, he would make small talk with you as you descended the elevator.

You’ve always hated the awkwardness that lingered with small talk but those feelings dissipated when it came to Yoongi. He always listened attentively when talked, chuckling whenever you complained about the lady living opposite you as he agreed. It made you feel comfortable about rambling on about whatever it was that swam through your mind, leaving no space for awkwardness to bubble.

Today, your topic of conversation was the music he claimed to make.

“At this point, I’m starting to think you’re a fraud,” you said.

You both stood outside the elevator of your apartment complex. Yoongi leaned in front of you to press the bottom button, and a ring of red light awoke along the sides of it.

Yoongi’s music has always been a topic of mystery. You’ve practically begged him to share a snippet of his songs with you ever since he mentioned being in a band, and each time he has refused. Though your words were playful, you had no idea if he made music at all. You recently realised how little you knew of him as a person too.

“And why would I lie to you about making music?” he asked.

You shrugged your shoulders. “I dunno. You could’ve been using it to make me fall in love with you or something. Pretending to be some cool, mysterious person in a band when you’re actually the opposite.”

“Well, did it work? Are you in love with me yet?”

You turned to look at him, narrowing your eyes as if to analyse him.

“Nope. You’ve got to try harder than buying me food and walking me to the lobby every morning.”

Yoongi let out a sigh, feigning disappointment. His lips pressed into a thin line that did little to hide the growing smile on his face. “Damn, I really thought I’d have you by now.”

A giggle escaped your lips just as the elevator doors slid open with a ding. You stepped in and returned to your position beside Yoongi, who clicked the second last button. Faint music played in the background, a soft ballad that you instantly recognised.

“I love this song,” you said. Yoongi turned his head to look at you with furrowed eyebrows.

“You do?”

You nodded. “Mhm. I’ve been having it on repeat for the last week.”

“Oh- I love this song too. Well- I’ve only listened to it once or twice whenever my friend plays it, but it’s really good.”

“I know right!” You were grinning as you looked at Yoongi, enthusiasm spilling from your tone, eyes wide with excitement. “It’s so- like- cosy? I don’t know.” A laughing breath escaped you.

“No, you’re right. It has that nice, cosy feel to it.”

You gesticulated wildly as you rambled on about the song and why you loved it so much, while Yoongi watched you with a wide smile. It was nice seeing you talk so passionately about something so mundane, how a simple song could brighten your entire day.

Yoongi didn’t interrupt you once, listening to your every word attentively. He wished he could stay with you, maybe even walk you to your college, just to hear your pleasant voice. There was just something about the smile on your face that made his heart beat a little faster.

But alas, he was forced to part ways with you as you reached the lobby doors. You waved goodbye and walked down the pathway. Instead of going his own way, Yoongi stayed as you grew smaller in his view.

Just before turning a corner, you looked back at him. You threw your head back as what Yoongi assumed to be a giggle—he was too far away to hear—left you. You brought your hands up and swatted them in his direction as if to shoo him away. He moved his hands to rest over his heart, feigning a hurt expression. He failed miserably, earning more laughter from you.

He liked making you laugh. It made his skin feel warm, the mere sound of it causing butterflies to erupt in his stomach.

It was stupid how much of an effect you had on him. He was absurdly comfortable around you, something he found difficult to accomplish around people he’s known for the better half of his life, let alone less than a month.

You lit up his day, your everyday routine giving him a reason to get up and be productive each morning. He never woke up before noon; there was simply no need to because anything to do with the band was held in the afternoon, and he usually did the night shift at his part-time job.

So why was he sacrificing the comfort of his blankets just to see you for ten minutes? Why was he debating on whether to change to a day shift because he didn’t even have anything to do in the morning other than seeing you? Why was he smiling to himself as he walked down the street, earning looks from passersby? And why didn’t he care, all because you were the only thing on his mind?

Honestly, he didn’t have an answer. It was too soon to conclude that he liked you. You were just a genuine friend, someone he happened to click with.

Right?

────

“I wrote a new song. I need you guys to sing it.”

Yoongi threw a leather notebook to the side, where it landed on the brunette who lay sprawled across the couch.

“Ow! Hyung, what the fuck?”

Taehyung plucked out his wired earphones, eyebrows furrowed in exaggerated pain as he took the notebook into his hands. He flicked through the pages meaninglessly before landing on the newly written pages.

On the couch opposite him sat Jungkook and Seokjin, completely immersed in some sort of game they played together. They yelled out profanities and shared movements intended to sabotage the other’s gameplay. Yoongi sighed.

Calling the room a mess was an understatement. A multitude of empty energy drinks, a few random sticky notes—reminders from the members to each other that would end up being forgotten anyway—and a stack of empty plates littered the coffee table. A hill of clothes sat neglected in the space beside Jungkook and Seokjin, and Yoongi automatically crinkled his nose despite the lack of any unpleasant odour.

He would have attempted to tidy up the room, but the long day weighed down on his shoulders. He moved Taehyung’s legs off the couch and slumped down beside him.

“Since when did you write love songs?” Taehyung asked. It was comical how fast Jungkook and Seokjin’s attention turned to Yoongi.

“It’s not a love song, it’s a ballad, idiot,” Yoongi mumbled.

“Same thing,” Taehyung replied, rolling his eyes as he flicked to the next page.

“Aw, Yoongi’s in love,” Seokjin piped up, feigning a sympathetic expression. He brought his hand up and added with a whisper, “Don’t worry, it’ll go away soon.”

“Fuck off, hyung.” Yoongi flipped him off and Jungkook chuckled at the exaggerated gasp that fell from Seokjin’s lips. Before he could start rambling on about how you should respect your elders, the youngest spoke up.

“So, who’s the girl, hyung?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“I told you, it’s not a love song. There’s isn’t any girl.”

“Yeah, right. Just tell us wh—.”

“Is she the one that lives a few doors down?” The new voice emerged from the side of the room, and everyone’s heads snapped up in its direction.

Jimin shut the bathroom door softly as he vigorously rubbed a towel over his hair. The ink tattooed under his chest was displayed in his shirtless form, grey sweatbands lying low on his waist.

“Who?”

“Why was I not told about this?”

“Yoongi has a girlfriend?!”

“She’s not my girlfr—.”

“No, she’s just the only reason you wake up at ass o’clock to see for like- ten minutes.” A teasing smile played at the corners of Jimin’s lips as he propped down between Seokjin and Jungkook. Yoongi shot him a glare.

“She’s a nice person. So what if I wake up a little earlier to see her? I’d do the same for you guys if we didn’t live together.”

Everyone in the room turned to look at him with a deadpan expression.

“Okay, maybe I wouldn’t, but it’s not that big of a deal!”

“Clearly is if you’re writing love songs about her,” Taehyung added. He threw the book over to the three who sat on the opposite couch, and Jungkook caught it with ease before eagerly flicking to the page with the lyrics.

“I’m not writing love songs about her! It’s not even a love song, it’s a ballad!”

“Okay, maybe you’re right. But there’s no way she’s not even a tiny bit of the reason why you wrote this,” Jimin said.

Seokjin nodded in agreement. “You’ve been struggling with writer’s block for like- the past week. And now you’re suddenly writing a song that’s a complete 180 of everything we’ve made so far?”

All four of their beady eyes stared at Yoongi, waiting for an answer. It felt like an interrogation.

“This isn’t fair, this is bullying. If Namjoon was here, he would’ve stuck up for me.”

“Yeah, cuz you’re a big baby that can’t even stick up for himself,” Taehyung mumbled, though Yoongi heard him loud and clear. He opened his mouth to curse at the younger when Jimin interrupted him.

“Uhm, no he wouldn’t. How’d you think I knew about the girl?”

“Asshole,” Yoongi muttered under his breath.

He told Namjoon about you around a week ago. How it had slipped into the conversation, Yoongi didn’t know. But his mind had been foggy from his intoxication that he found himself eventually telling Namjoon everything; about how you met, how you helped him, the dinner you shared. He didn’t even spare the details; how he thought you’re eyes were the most beautiful things he’d ever seen, how your laugh made his heart leap, how he hadn’t felt like this is years—if ever—and it was scaring him how fast he was falling for you.

Yoongi was frustrated at Namjoon but was also grateful that he didn’t reveal everything he had told him that night. If he had, the members wouldn’t be questioning him right now because they would already have a clear answer.

Yoongi sighed, leaning back his head.

“I- Last week, she mentioned this song that she loved ‘cause it was playing in the elevator. And- I don’t know- I don’t think our usual music is her taste. She’s been asking me to play her some of our songs for weeks and I’ve just avoided the subject. I just- I want her to listen to something that I know she’ll love.”

Because he loved seeing you happy. He loved the way you’re face lit up and he wanted you to have the same reaction when you listened to his songs. But he didn’t say that, of course. Just treasured the thoughts deep in his mind because he hated the truth they carried.

“That’s so cute, hyung,” Jungkook said.

“Whatever,” Yoongi mumbled, becoming more aware of the warmth spreading across his ears. “So, will you guys sing the song? I don’t think any rap verses would fit it, so it’s completely up to you.”

“I don’t think we’ll be able to get it finished fast enou–,” Jimin started, but was abruptly cut off.

“Of course, we will,” Taehyung said, throwing a hand over Yoongi’s shoulder. “When you guys get married, tell her that we’re the only reason she fell for you. You know, with our angelic voices an-.”

“Taehyung, I swear to fucking God-.”

────

Snowflakes poured from the sky, clinging to your clothes for a brief second before disappearing into the fabric. The cold air bit into your skin, slowly seeping into your bones and numbing your face.

You were delighted when the snowfall first began a few weeks ago. It had been the only thing that marked the start of the holiday season, and you found yourself giving into the festivities of it all despite the reminders of your finals looming over you like an angry, dark cloud.

Now that your exams were buried in the past, you realised what a hassle the weather was when it wasn’t the only thing cheering you up.

Your nose was stuffy and an angry shade of red. Your limbs ached, weighing down on you. It took you double the time it usually took for you to walk home due to the black ice that coated the sidewalks. You made the mistake of trudging through it carelessly once, and that ended up with a sprained ankle and complete humiliation. No way would you let that happen again.

No one would willingly go out in such weather.

So why was there someone standing outside your apartment? Why was he choosing the bitter cold instead of the heated lobby that stood a mere three steps away? And why was it Yoongi?

A thick scarf hung around his neck, obscuring most of his face with it’s deep, red fabric. His hands were shoved deep into the pockets of his black jacket, his head turned down to the floor.

He didn’t notice you as you approached his figure.

“Are you trying to freeze to death?”

His head snapped up. He stared at you blankly for a second before his cheeks rose up ever so slightly, the signs of his rare smile that always made your heart flutter.

“Hi. No—.” He chuckled softly, the sound quickly lost to the busy city. “—I was waiting for you. Didn’t know what time you came back, so...” His voice got quieter as he spoke, trailing off into a mumble.

“Oh, that’s so sweet.” Your words brought a smile to his face, his expression no longer holding a sense of hesitancy. “Why were you waiting for me though?”

“Right. I had to give you this.” He rummaged through his pockets and pulled out a square-shaped envelope. Sensing your confusion from your puzzled expression, he added, “It’s a CD. You wanted to hear some of our songs, so I put together my personal favourites.”

All the words of thanks and appreciation died on your tongue as you took the cover from his hands. It was incredibly light, and you could trace the circular outline of the CD that lay inside.

“Yoongi, I– you really didn’t have to,” you finally managed.

“I wanted to.”

Your eyes crinkled to accommodate the smile growing across your face. “This is literally the best thing anyone has ever gotten me. You could’ve sent me a playlist online, y’know, instead of putting so much effort into it.”

Yoongi hesitated for a moment before speaking.

“I thought you’d like a CD more.”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, of course I love the CD. I was just wondering why you chose the harder way.”

“I thought you deserved something more than just a few texts.”

You hoped that Yoongi would overlook the heat crawling across your skin as a result of the cold instead of his words.

“I- Thank you. Seriously, thank you so much.”

He nodded. “You do have something to play it on, right? I actually didn’t think about whe–.”

“Oh yeah, no don’t worry. I have an old laptop that I can put these into.”

Another nod. Yoongi’s eyes darted away as soon as they met yours, glancing around everywhere but you.

“Do you wanna go inside and not risk hypothermia?” you said with a small laugh.

“Uh– I actually have to visit a friend today.”

“Oh, okay.” Had he noticed the way your shoulders deflated at his answer? You hoped not. “I’ll see you around then?”

“Yeah. See you tomorrow.”

You stepped past him and fished out your keys from your pockets. By the time you opened the door and turned back to wave goodbye, he had already walked away.

────

Click.

The CD slid into the side of the laptop with ease. Files popped up on the screen, casting shadows across your skin. You could feel the quiet hum of the machine beneath your fingertips, a steady, calming rhythm that contrasted with the sudden quickening of your heartbeat.

Your eyes wandered over it, soaking in the half a dozen songs Yoongi had chosen. You’d already listened to them all once, but you wanted to hear them again.

There was something about the way they played in your ears, something almost magical in the way the melodies intertwined with your thoughts. Each note seemed to resonate with a different part of you as if Yoongi had handpicked them to speak to your soul.

The songs were beautiful. Despite it not being your usual choice of music, you found yourself treasuring each song close to your heart. You hadn’t expected to feel this way, hadn’t anticipated how deeply you’d connect with the music that was so different from what you normally listened to. But here you were, replaying them over and over, savouring each lyric like a secret only you and Yoongi shared.

Maybe it was because you got to see a new side of Yoongi in his music. A confident, almost arrogant version of him that sang each lyric with pure passion. You could feel the intensity in every word, every note as if they were laced with emotions he could never quite express in person.

Or maybe he just knew you well enough to pick out songs he knew that you would like. Songs that would make you think of him, songs that would linger in your mind long after the last note faded away.

Whatever it was, it failed to stop the giddy feeling that enveloped your skin. A warmth that spread from your chest to the tips of your fingers, leaving you lightheaded and dizzy with emotions you weren’t quite ready to name. You couldn’t remember the last time something—or someone—had made you feel this way.

Your fingers scrolled down on the mouse, a habit that had formed ever since you first got the laptop. You hadn’t expected the screen to move. But it did. A subtle movement that caught you off guard, your breath hitching slightly as you leaned closer to the screen.

A seventh file revealed itself at the bottom of the screen. It didn’t have a name. Just a small, blank icon that seemed to stare back at you, as if daring you to click on it.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Yoongi had probably added it by mistake, but you couldn’t help but wonder if this was something he had intended to keep hidden, something private that you weren’t meant to see. You clicked into it.

Someone cleared their throat.

“Uh, hi. I don’t know if you’ll see this or not, but I hope you do.”

Yoongi’s voice was low and smooth, just like you’ve always known it. But nervousness curled around his words, the hesitance before each one clear as day. It was a stark contrast to the confident, almost cocky tone in which he carried himself within all his other songs.

It made your heart flutter in a way you hadn’t anticipated.

“This is a cover.” He chuckled softly before his voice turned to a mumble. “God this is mortifying.”

You didn’t even realise that you were smiling. The corners of your lips had curled up almost involuntarily. There was something incredibly endearing about the way he sounded so vulnerable, so unsure of himself, and it only made you want to hear more.

“So–uhm. I hope you enjoy, ___.”

Oh, how you loved the way he said your name. The way the word fell from his tongue; like he was born to utter your name over and over again. It felt like a caress, soft and gentle, wrapping around you like a blanket on a cold winter night. You could almost see him there, sitting in front of his microphone, his eyes closed as he let your name slip past his lips.

He plucked the string of a guitar, the high-pitched sound quickly lost to his voice as he began to sing.

The familiarity of the song washed over you, a wave of nostalgia that tugged at your heartstrings. It was a cover of the same song you heard in the elevator a few days ago. The same one you had mentioned to him in passing. The same one he remembered to be your favourite.

He remembered, and it was almost pathetic how such a simple gesture had you feeling things that hadn’t been awakened in your heart for a dreadfully long time.

His voice filled the space with a melodic warmth that seemed to wrap around you like a comforting embrace. You leaned into the embrace—leaned in closer to the laptop in an attempt to be as close to him as you could so that you wouldn’t miss a single word. It felt as if he were singing directly to you as if every note was meant for your ears only.

His voice reminded you of honey; smooth, sweet, clear, and so fucking addicting. You could feel yourself getting lost in it, letting it seep into your very being, soothing parts of you that you didn’t even realise needed healing.

Unfortunately, the song was short. He had only sung half of it, lasting only around a minute and a half. But the enchanting melody lingered in the air long after he finished. You found yourself replaying it in your mind, trying to hold on to the feeling it gave you, not wanting it to fade away too soon.

“I hope I did the song justice.” A breathy laugh. “If I ended up ruining it for you forever, I’m sorry.”

If only he knew how much you would treasure his cover of the song in your heart, or how you would play the CD almost every day because you liked listening to his voice. How you would wake up every morning and–for the first time in a long while–would find yourself looking forward to change.

Looking forward to him.

[slutforth]

2005!BILL KAULITZ X GN!READER

cw: none!! a little bit of a sad Bill but nothing intense (just fluff)

a/n: Hii guys, my first fic here on tumblr. Please give constructive criticism, but don't just be plain rude :) Also, send reqs!!

"Y/N..."

Bill said wearily, gripping onto your hand as you walked through the school corridors. You knew he hated this. The crowds that tried to follow you guys.

Luckily, you had a few security guards around you all, so the girls weren't grabbing at us, but that didn't help the screams and shouting that the girls behind you were making.

"Come on.." You mumbled to the rest of the band, quickly making your way to the bus so everyone could get rid of the crazy fan girls from school.

Although you loved being "Tokio Hotel" with the 4 other boys, sometimes it could be really tiring, and that was clear on everyone's faces when everyone slumped down into the cushioned seats of the little van.

You were in the middle seat, squished between Gustav and Bill, while Tom and Georg sat in the back, giggling and sharing sweets.

Today, you were all going to Bill and Tom's after school since they had the most space and best equipment, and usually, everyone would be excited about it, especially Bill.

However, as you listened to music through your wired earbuds, you glanced over and noticed Bill just sitting there quietly. No music, no talking... he was just staring out the window.

Your brows furrowed in both concern and confusion at his behaviour. He was never like this, and you couldn't help but wonder if it had something to do with the fans and fame.

Whatever it was, you weren't going to allow him to be sad and just zone out about it, so you tapped his shoulder, offering one of your earbuds to him.

"Wanna share?"

He looked over, quietly studying your features for a few minutes before weakly smiling and accepting the gesture. He leaned his head on your shoulder, silently thanking you for the comfort and distraction thay you were giving him.

Truth was, he was really caught up in his own thoughts. About everything. Whether that be from the band to whatever he had for breakfast, he had recently started over analysing every little thing and it was taking a toll on him.

He was always grateful for you, though. You always managed to make him feel better, even if you didn't realise it.

As the driver slowly came to a stop outside of the Twins' house, everyone got out the mini van and quickly went inside, but Bill just trailed behind.

You quickly realised this and walked slowly to catch up to him. You didn't mind staying back, as long as Bill wasn't moping around and subconsciously excluding himself. You held his hand, pulling him inside with a small smirk as you heard him giggle quietly.

Tom had already got a bag of Skittles, which Georg and Gustav were trying to fight him for, which brought a dumb girn to your face, watching the way the 3 boys fought stupidly.

You and Bill went and sat in the little 'music studio' the twins' mom had set up for you guys, where in reality it was just their garage with your instruments in.

When you and Bill sat down on the soft cushions of the couch, you looked over to him, again noticing his slightly distant expression. And seeing as none of the boys were around, you decided to check up on him.

"Hey, uh.. are you okay? You seem a bit.. I don't know.. off?" You said cautiously, making sure not too offended him if he was defensive about his emotions.

"Mm... yeah, yeah, it's fine, I'm just tired, so I keep overthinking stuff.." He said softly, looking at you as he spoke. Sometimes, he needed help, even if he didn't want it, but you always seemed to know how to help.

You gave him a sympathetic look. You knew how he got in his head sometimes, so you gently pulled him close. He took you by surprise when he pushed you down slightly onto the couch, resting his head on your stomach and wrapping his arms around your waist.

You immediately started to play with his hair, twirling the short black strands around your fingers. You always loved to play with his hair, just loving the texture and the way it felt under your hands.

Bill relaxed against you as you messed with his hair. He always found it so comforting when you did that. The poor boy really really loved it.

So much so that he slowly started to fall asleep, his head still on your stomach as he relaxed more and more. The sensations of his hair being played with and the warmth of your body lulled him into a peaceful sleep.

"I guess practice is going to be delayed..."

[jeonscatalyst]

Hi,

English is not my first language and I can never construct my words the way I want to or ever really stay on topic (my thoughts wander a lot) so please ignore any weirdness in this ask😬

I just wanted to say I've been thinking a lot about what has been transpiring these past few days, and I think I've finally, truly come to understand the phrase "misery loves company."

I'm not on Twitter but I can imagine that immediately after that last episode of Are You Sure, Taekookers as well as other shippers got to the usual work of twisting things and moments just to soothe their own burn & bring Jikookers down a peg from their high.

I've noticed this thing where every time Jikook have Jikooked and Jikookers celebrate it, bask in their joy, interact happily with each other, and don't talk about other shippers or bring the negativity of "what the cult is saying", and their spaces is just so jolly, clean and healthy or whatever, no toxicity whatsover.. Taekookers and others take it upon themselves to infiltrate the space and bring their misery and bitterness and what's frustrating is that they actually 100% succeed all the time. Blogs here may not show it but I swear every time the tag as just like TWO negative asks (not asks from Jikookers genuinely doubting but the usual blatantly disrespectful & distasteful asks that minimize Jimin and Jungkook's friendship or make it seem like Jungkook would choose Taehyung or anyone else over Jimin) the mood dampens significantly.

It's an energy I can literally feel (sounds cringe, I know, but it's something I've always had) the same way just spending an hour in Taekook spaces makes it clear that they have this weird combination of being somewhat secure that their ship is real & being hidden by Jikook but also being so fearful of the thought of Jimin next to Jungkook & not trusting Jungkook to act like a loyal, faithful husband towards Taehyung where Jimin is concerned. And this does not come from their words, it's just something that's there. It's as if they are sitting in anxiety just waiting for the moment JK reaches over and kisses Jimin full on the mouth, and they are dreading (and by the way, they and other shippers see moments between Jikook as romantic or at least unusual for simple friends to do, even more than Jikookers. I've seen Jikookers say it's a bromance, they act friendly because they are friends first and foremost, while the other sides cry fanservice and make entire analyses about how Bighit would have never shown AYS or any of the past moments between those two if Jikook were a real couple👀)

JIMIN more than Taekook has infested himself in the deepest parts of their minds, like a terrible disease. They even fear him for things independent from their ship; like his greatness as an individual and artist. What makes Taekookers so unique from others is that they do not only move like toxic shippers but toxic solos as well. They bash Jimin outside of things that have to do with Taekook. His artistry, his personality, his relationship with his loved ones and others closest to him. I've never seen anything like it.

Similarly, I feel a majority of Jikookers let Taekookers get inside their heads, when there's really no reason for them to, in my opinion. Jikookers would see a moment between Jikook and take it for what it is.. until a Taekooker comes to twist it; and no matter how absolutely delusional it sounds, it'll take root inside Jikookers' heads and do its work. That's the feeling I get being here for almost two years now.

Anyway, I've been seeing the mini back and forth between Jikookers and some Yoonmin-something blogger and it's been really interesting to him. It's really like clockwork that every time Jikookers are happy about moments from their ship and not bothering anyone, there will come someone from the other side trying to poke and start something, and unfortunately, they succeed every single time.

And it's not only that blogger but I've seen several from different platforms just clearly trying to start a fight (and by "starting a fight" I don't mean having a different opinion about the boys' relationships and shipping a different pair, but deliberately undermining Jikook even as a friendship & subtly suggesting that they have poor character & are extremely ambitious) and when Jikookers rightfully respond (although I really think y'all shouldn't but we do what we want) they turn things around & make it look like Jikookers are the toxic ones and then boast "lol they are so mad, oh the cognitive dissonance, they are crying because there are people who don't believe what they believe" because they somehow think they got their lick back simply because Jimin & JK did whatever they did and those who love their bond had the audacity to hype it up and believe whatever it is that they want to believe about it.

(Also saying all those things about cognitive dissonance & making it seem like "Jokers are mad for no reason" when it's extremely clear that you wrote that post to soothe your own cognitive dissonance and bring Jikookers down to your miserably emotional level, is wild. It's a diabolical tactic)

I've noticed that other shippers literally hate Jikookers for believing in a "company sold ship" and this behavior is basically them punishing you for it. They are projecting their own toxicity onto Jikookers by saying Jikookers are toxic when all Jikookers have ever done is retaliate.

"Other shippers get along well, but it's always Jikookers the problem". I think that's something they said in their post but I'm obvious paraphrasing. That part honestly made me smirk because anyone who truly tries to quiet the bias inside their minds and looks at the different shipping subsections of the fandom, what they say & how they say it, and how they interact with one another, they'd quickly realize that Jikookers are not the problem, and they'd know exactly which shippers are the problem.

"We other shippers get along well together" - Yeah, and we know exactly WHY you get along "so well". It's not rocket science, and it's certainly not because you're all so unproblematic lol. Also it's wild AF for Yoonminers to be in solidarity with Taekookers when Taekookers have dedicated their entire existence to hating Jimin and spewing the most vile things about him just because. But he's one half of the ship they supposedly love so much?? Sure.

Like please find shame. Locate it somewhere🤦‍♀️ because wow.

I wanted to say more but I forgot what and this already so unneccesarily long, but yeah, misery really loves company.

Hi anon!

First of all, there is absolutely nothing wrong with English, hell, you phrased your words and sentences better than I would have (English isn’t my first language either) so don’t worry at all.

I could literally kiss you right now because you have said everything and more. Taekookers have been losing it all day, since they heard Jimin say he was at Jk’s place the night before their Jeju trip and I think it stings more for them because a few hours before we got the clips, they were already talking about the possibility that taekook travelled to Jeju together without Jimin and some of them were already getting ready with their mocking boots on to start asking questions like “why did he choose to travel with this person and not his “boyfriend” "but they were shut up real quick and now they are spiraling. I’ve seen even some of the more “level headed” taekook blogs on here losing their shit today and trying to cope with the information we just got by clinging to Jimin and Jungkook saying they didn’t see much of each other before and all I could do was chuckle because nothing screams more pained than that.

Like you said, Misery loves company and right now they know jokers are on cloud 9 so seeing as they can’t be on cloud 9 as well, they try to drag us down with them and I just pity the jokers who let the cult get into their heads because how much more obvious can it be that they are bothered by Jikook? As you said, it seems like a good chunk of them do really believe that taekook is real but they still can’t shake off this feeling or fear that Jk could still do stuff with Jimin and that is why you see them jubilating every time they think Jk has acted in a typical “bro” or “friend” way with Jimin but they are back to their panic the moment they see Jk behave in a “soft” or “lovers coded” way with Jimin. They are constantly in a state of panic and confusion because one moment they see something that they believe convinces them that there is no way Jikook are a couple but then they turn around and see something else that goes against that belief so no matter how hard they try, they just can’t get Jimin off their minds. He is like that thing that constantly threatens their beliefs and they hate him for him it.

If you visit the taekook tag today, you will see all of them grasping at the tinest straws trying to make themselves feel better and one thing I noticed about taekookers on tumblr which is very different from jikookers is that, taekook blogs on tumblr get some of their highest engagement when they drag or shit talk Jikook and taekookers would claim over and over and over again that they don’t care about jokers but they never get tired of talking about jokers and jikook. Don’t believe me, go search any taekook blog and see how much more engagement they get when they talk shit abt Jikook and jikookers vs when they actually talk about their own ship. The difference is astounding while in jikook spaces or just as a blog owner myself, I notice that while jokers enjoy the occasional taekooker drag, they don’t like going on and on talking about taekook or taekookers. I delete asks I get from people responding to asks from taekookers because after talking about the cult in two or 3 post, I start seeing jikookers clearly not being interested to talk about them and asking for us to move on to topics that concern Jikook. I also get some of the lowest engagements when I talk about the cult while I get my highest engagements when we talk about Jikook being cute and in love. So while jikookers don’t care to go on talking about the cult, the cult’s favourite topic is jokers and jikook.

As for yoonminers, they are a lost cause to me. I have never ever cared about the fact that they think Yoonmin is real because anyone can think whatever they want but what I cannot stand about them is the fact that they are supposedly fans of Jimin yet they have no issues holding hands with the biggest Jimin haters in the fandom. Other than this, a yoonminer to me is just like a vminer or taejiner or Jinkooker where I think the duo is adorable and beautiful together but will never take anyone who seriously thinks they are in a romantic relationship seriously.

Anyways anon, thank you so much for your ask as you really pointed out several important points when it comes to what is actually eating these people up.

[scrumptiousstuffs]

As much as I love talking about how pretty First is (he's so pretty! And as far as anyone knows a total sweetheart which is even better), can we talk about how ridiculously talented he is? He just becomes his characters like sliding on a second skin, it's insane. And the microexpressions and subtle changes in his eyes...I feel like it's such an underappreciated form of acting but he does it so well I never want to stop watching him. And he just keeps getting better and better. I can't wait to see what he does with Kant. Everyone keeps saying that these characters are different from what they've done before so im so curious. And also I'm just ready to have a flirty First character on my screen again.

Well, anon - where do you want to start? I’m going to say upfront, I’m not the most eloquent writer in writing meta or analysing any actors acting capability or their characters on screen.

There are other blogs who write all these beautiful meta re: The Eclipse and Only Friends. @bird-inacage wrote many thoughtful analysis of them. Please feel free to read them. Other links: Link 1. But also, just search for “The Eclipse meta” or “Only Friends meta” and so many good commentary from various blogs will pop up. You may agree or disagree with them but I personally find it fun to read through what other people think of the series and the characters in general.

Anyway, back to your topic of the greatness of First Kanaphan as an actor. I agree with all your statements regarding his acting capabilities.

I am entranced whenever First is on screen - whether he played a suppressed queer teenager in high school or the broken, lonely banker to the gruff bar singer with the heart of gold.

His eyes are expressive and the control he has over his facial muscles…exquisite 👌. The way he shifts from one expression to another with us (the viewers) being able to tell them without that much of a change? - it’s definitely a wow everytime I see it. I mentioned previously in a different ask I find First fluid in his acting.

People will argue his character in Not Me (Yok) is the best out of his current projects. I will argue otherwise.

Yes, Yok allowed First to showcase his poweress in acting. First as Yok was able to show massive range from being loud, stubbornly opinionated, flirty (or slutty in First’s own words) etc. before we see him ultimately breakdown when he got betrayed. Definitely A-class acting 👍.

However as Akk, then Alan followed by Sand - these characters are more reserved at baseline and not as “colourful” of a character as Yok. And to some extent, these roles are more challenging (for any actors) to showcase “range” as they need to be able to internally express it without big emotive or gesture.

But the way First embodied them - with just a slight twitch of his jaw, tightness around his lips or when he allowed his eyes to darken with anger or lust (depending on the situation) - we as the viewers can always tell what the character is feeling, and that’s what make him an amazing actor to watch on screen.

And since this is my blog and I can do whatever I want, I’m putting up examples from each series post Not Me:

1) The Eclipse

When Akk first met Ayan in the teacher’s bathroom and saw Ayan’s tattoo - we (and Akk) all got distracted by Ayan’s sexy tattoo. But the quick flick of Akk’s eyes 👀 to that tattoo followed by the slight widening of his eyes and then shifting to hardening his glare while at the same time quick gulp of his throat? - all of that occurred within seconds….and I remember watching this scene thinking oh, Akk definitely has some unwanted thoughts on the new kid

Or when they were wrestling on the judo mat, and Akk pinned Ayan down - teasingly asked the latter to try and free himself. He was smiling down at Ayan but the minute Ayan slide those arms around his neck, the way his smile faded and you can see gay panic in those eyes….

They are of course so many more examples including Akk mini-conversation with his mom at night when he hesitantly tried to explain the pressure he was under at school but ultimately chickened out cause he didn’t want to burden him mom (and you could see this written all over his face).

2) Moonlight Chicken

There was a previous ask, where that anon said he found Alan the most pathetic character out of all of First’s projects. And I will again reiterate here, with the limited amount of screen time he had, First sparkled whenever he came on screen.

The way you can tell his frustration over his destroyed relationship while trying to cling on it cause he just doesn’t know what he did wrong for Wen was painful for us viewers to watch. And I don’t know about you, my heart breaks for him when he broke down after Wen finally screamed at him that he only slept with Alan cause he felt sorry for him - you can again see the flick/shift from anger in Alan’s face to shock disbelief and humiliation when Wen said that to him. You could see the self-loathing in his face after Wen left the living room. And as he silently cried on the floor of their apartment, I cried with him.

Or when Alan finally had his talk with Wen at the bbq restaurant, you could read the quiet resignation in Alan’s face as Wen finally break it off for good by sliding his promise ring back to him.

3. Only Friends

Even from the first episode, when he brought Ray back to his apartment - after Ray puked his guts out and as Ray snuggled on Sand’s shoulder - you could read the half amusement, half exasperation on his face while they both just sat on that bathroom floor.

Or when Ray finally got his chance with Mew, and Sand saw them dancing in the club. We see the wistful, sad boba eyes of his. And when Ray confronted him outside the bar, that cracked in his voice as he told Ray “you and I were never friends.” - yeah, my heart again breaks for him.

Or how about the angry-lust driven kiss in that music room (before Top interrupted them). You could see the mixture of anger, almost despair in Sand eyes, the tightness in his jaw and you could see the tremble in his lips. But even with all that, us as viewers clocked on how much he loves Ray (Ray knows that too…hence why he pounced and kiss Sand)

Plus when Sand confronted Top at the hospital - the narrowed eyes, the low, even tone of his voice where you know he is just barely holding on to his temper

I can go on and on…but I’ll stop here.

Anyway, like you, I’m looking forward to seeing more of him as Kant - I have no doubt we will see him nail it as a flirt (or as First keeps insisting, sugar daddy?). However, I’m also looking forward to see his interactions with Babe, Style and Fadel cause I’m sure we will be blessed with more masterclass in microexpression!

[runariya]

Drive to Survive (JJK) • Chapter 6 “Addicts Deny”

pairing: F1driver!Jungkook x female race engineer!reader genre: colleagues2L, formula1!AU, racing!AU, drama, kind of fantasy/cyborg!AU fic rating: 18+, MDNI warnings: denial, denial, denial, unethical thoughts regarding race practice, lil meow makes an appearance, the FIA is sus, Jungkook is sorry, protective Jungkook because that's a warning for and of itself, MC is jealous, a little bit of fluff, but still she's in denial 🙄, a lot of embarrassment, MC is reckless, physical violence, threats, Jungkook has anger issues, slight PTS, a lil 'babe', MC can't face the truth, foul language, lmk if I forgot smth word count: ~ 7.400

🎵 Treasure - JIKJIN 🎵

a/n: okay, I've clearly lied regarding the writing break. Last night I've stayed awake with mini-me on me sleeping (even though we're both down with a high fever but whatever) and so I've spent the night writing away...so yeeeey! double unedited DtS- AND HR-Update 🎉

a/n 2: This work is purely fictional. All characters and events are entirely imaginary and do not reflect reality. Content errors related to the sport of Formula 1 are not excluded. Please do not use this story as your own. No translations are allowed without permission. Thank you for understanding! 💕

01 • 02 • 03 • 04 • 05 • series masterlist • 07

It's Monday after the race in São Paulo, and you find yourself back at the headquarters, preparing for the triple header ahead: three races in three consecutive weeks. The jet lag nags at the edges of your consciousness, but you push it aside, just as you try to maintain the facade that keeping Jungkook at a distance is easy. 

The wreckage of Jungkook's car has arrived this morning at the headquarters as well, and your immediate task is to retrieve the crash data. Specialised crash sensors in the car have recorded crucial information on impact forces, angles, and speeds, which you'll need to analyse to assess the severity of the crash. This data is essential for the mechanics, who must start working immediately to ensure Jungkook's car is ready in four days for the sprint race weekend in Japan. Toto has already informed you that he wants the data discussed in the debriefing in a few hours, adding to your stress level. 

As you sit at your desk, your thoughts drift back to the chaotic events of the race. Jungkook's crash and the subsequent confrontation with Mingyu replay in your mind. After the race, Jungkook underwent a thorough physical check, and thankfully, he emerged unscathed. Still, you worry about the potential impact on his performance, which you'll have a chance to evaluate during tomorrow's simulation session. You focus on extracting and compiling the crash data, immersing yourself in the technical details to drown out the lingering anxiety.

Once you finish the report, you print it, gather the papers, and make your way to the garage where the mechanics are already hard at work. The sleek, partially disassembled race cars glint under the bright lights, the smell of grease heavy in the air, and the walls are adorned with various tools and parts, neatly organised yet exuding a sense of controlled chaos. As you enter, you spot one of the lead mechanics, a man you think is named Yoongi, though everyone here calls him Lil Meow. He's hunched over Jungkook's damaged car, his hands deftly manoeuvring the wrench.

"Yoongi," you call out, approaching him with the crash data. "I have the data from Jungkook's crash. The debriefing starts in a bit, so I thought I’ll give it to you in person."

He looks up, nodding as he wipes his hands on a rag. "Thanks. Let's see what we've got."

As Yoongi begins to look over the data, an idea pops into your head. "Yoongi, hypothetically speaking, could a device be ingrained and hidden in a car that sends electromagnetic shockwaves to disturb electrical connections?"

Yoongi raises an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. "Hypothetically, it’s possible. It would be against regulations, though. Such a device could emit controlled electromagnetic pulses that interfere with the car's electronics. It'd be tricky to detect, but if someone knew what to look for, they might catch it."

You hum thoughtfully, processing this information. "Interesting. Thanks, Yoongi."

Leaving the garage, you mull over the idea. If Mingyu plays unfair, then perhaps you could too. The notion of using such a device to either disrupt his car or his body gnaws at your professional integrity, but the stakes are high, and the competitive edge is razor-thin. Returning to your office, you decide to keep the idea in your back pocket, a potential ace up your sleeve. The balance between ethical boundaries and the fierce desire to win is a delicate one, and you can only hope you navigate it wisely in the intense weeks to come.

In the cool, dimly lit conference room at the team headquarters, you stand beside Toto and the engineering team, surrounded by screens displaying telemetry data and race footage. The atmosphere is tense as you begin the debrief with a detailed analysis of Jungkook's crash with Mingyu. On the large central screen, you replay the critical moments leading up to the incident, dissecting every move and decision.

"From what we've reviewed," you start, gesturing towards the screen where the onboard footage plays in slow motion, "it appears Jungkook attempted an overtake on Mingyu into Turn 4. Mingyu defended aggressively, causing contact that sent Jungkook off track."

Toto nods, his expression grave. "We need to understand why Jungkook chose that moment. Was there a miscommunication on strategy? Please replay the radio communication."

You do as said, the communications during the incident echoing through the room, emphasising Jungkook's frustration with Mingyu's defensive manoeuvres. "There were clear frustrations expressed over the radio. Jungkook felt he had the pace and opportunity, but Mingyu closed the door aggressively."

Jungkook, seated among the team, clears his throat. "I believed I could make the move stick. I saw an opportunity and went for it. In hindsight, perhaps I should have waited for a better chance."

Toto interjects, "We need to ensure incidents like this don't repeat. You have to trust the team's strategy and communicate effectively."

You move to the next slide, focusing on the damage assessment. "Fortunately, the crash data indicates that the impact was primarily absorbed by the car body. The chassis integrity remains intact, which is crucial."

The chief engineer chimes in, "The initial assessment from the mechanics confirms that the car will be fully operational for the upcoming race weekend. We'll conduct thorough checks to ensure all systems are optimal."

Toto nods, turning towards Jungkook, he address him directly. "Jungkook, let's discuss your perspective on the incident and your decision-making process during that crucial moment."

Jungkook meets your gaze briefly. "I thought I had the pace to pass Mingyu. I misjudged his defence. I'll be more patient in the future."

You nod towards Toto, appreciating Jungkook’s honesty. "We'll work on refining those split-second decisions."

Transitioning to the broader strategy review, you outline the team's approach to the race. "Our strategy focused on tyre management and capitalising on the race pace. We opted for a two-stop strategy which, despite the incident, allowed us to compete for points until Jungkook's retirement."

Next the chief engineer addresses you, being the engineer responsible for Jungkook's car. "What feedback did Jungkook provide post-incident regarding car handling and performance?"

You respond, “Jungkook reported minor understeer pre-crash, but overall, the car's balance was manageable. Our focus now is ensuring all components are thoroughly checked and aligned."

Shifting focus, Toto then assesses the impact on team morale while looking around. "Given the incident, how are team dynamics holding up?"

Jungkook sighs, "It's frustrating, but we're a resilient team. We'll learn from this and come back stronger."

Turning to the positive, Joongki acknowledges George's stunning victory. "On a brighter note, George's performance was exceptional. Starting from P5 and mastering the changing track conditions to clinch victory showcases our team's capabilities."

The room lightens up with smiles and nods. George beams from his seat. "Thanks, everyone. It was a team effort all the way."

You hastily write down Toto’s next words. "But again back to the crash. To prevent similar incidents, we'll reinforce communication protocols and strategic decision-making. Clear rules of engagement between drivers and rivals will be crucial moving forward."

"Now, regarding the FIA's decision regarding the fight after the race," Toto proceeds, his tone turning almost cheerful. "Thanks to my and Christian Horner's intervention and negotiation with them, Jungkook and Mingyu won't face a ban from the next race. However, there will be a fine to be paid. This is a lesson for both drivers."

There are visible sighs of relief, with shoulders relaxing and expressions softening around the table. Engineers exchange nods of approval, while a few team members even allow themselves small, cautious smiles. Spontaneous clapping breaks out, followed by a few cheers, as the gravity of Toto's influence in this decision is silently acknowledged by the team.

Jungkook glances again to you, as if you see your reaction but averts his eyes to Toto. “Thanks, boss.”

Toto stands, offering final words of encouragement. "Let's channel today's lessons into preparation for the next race. We have a championship to contend for."

As the debrief wraps up, you hastily make your way back to your office, focused and no time for chatter. 

The rest of the day passes in a blink of an eye, the quiet hum of the building’s A/C underscoring the solitude of your surroundings. You’re once again the last one working, or so you think. As you step exhausted into the lobby, ready to call an Uber to take you back to your hotel, you come across Namjoon and Jungkook standing by the entrance. Namjoon offers a quick goodbye, leaving you and Jungkook enveloped in an awkward silence.

Jungkook breaks the stillness. "How are you getting home?"

You shrug, trying to keep your tone nonchalant. "I’m taking an Uber, like always."

He frowns, clearly displeased. "It’s too late for you to go alone. I don’t want you walking around at night by yourself."

You roll your eyes, the familiarity of arguing with Jungkook bubbling up. "Jungkook, I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Thank you very much."

"No. And before you start, it’s not about patronising you," he insists, his voice dropping to a softer, more earnest tone. "It's about me genuinely fearing for your safety. I can't bear the thought of something happening to you."

You sigh, frustration and a hint of something warmer mingling in your chest. "I'll be fine, Jungkook. It's just a short ride. I’ve done it for weeks at this point.” 

He shakes his head, his eyes locking onto yours, the determination evident. "If something did happen to you, I'd never forgive myself. Your parents would say the same. It’s just not worth it.”

Reluctantly, you concede, the weight of his words settling over you. "Fine," you mutter, "but only because you're being so insistent."

You follow behind Jungkook as he leads the way to his car, the contrast between his towering frame and your smaller stature evident, even though you navigate in heels. Despite the footwear, you feel shielded by his presence, almost invisible to anyone who might approach. His athletic build is unmistakable—broad neck, shoulders, and arms hinting at strength, while his small waist is hidden under an oversized gym shirt. The scent lingering around him is enticing, a mix of sweat and something distinctly masculine, wrapping you in its comforting familiarity.

Reaching his car, Jungkook opens the passenger door, gestures for you to enter first, a small smile gracing his lips, his eyes warm and reassuring. You settle into the passenger seat as he takes his place beside you, the warmth of his presence contrasting with the cool leather of the car seats. The interior smells faintly of his cologne and detergent, bringing you an unexpected sense of comfort. As he starts the engine, you feel a surprising peace wash over you, his presence beside you calming your nerves. You try to swallow down all these feelings, focusing on the passing city lights outside the window.

"Do you have plans tonight?" you ask, breaking the silence, your curiosity getting the better of you.

Jungkook snorts, a bitter laugh escaping him. "With who?"

You raise an eyebrow and look at his profile. "Any of your flirts?"

He glances at you, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I thought you realised what was behind the flirting.”

“What’s there to realise?” Your tone is more snarky than you intended and you regret opening your mouth at all. But Jungkook seems not to mind it at all. 

"For years, flirting has been my self-defence mechanism. Those women who fall for it are usually gold diggers. I know to keep my distance from them…like Trish."

You nod, absorbing his honesty and the subtle repulsion after he said her name, but he isn’t finished.

"The ones who are disgusted by my flirting," he continues, "are the genuine ones. Those are the ones I can befriend. Or more," he adds in a whisper, his eyes flicking to you before quickly returning to the road.

“Oh…” Your breath catches, but you can't find the words to respond. His admission leaves you speechless, and you can feel your heart thudding in your chest. Jungkook takes a deep breath, the tension in the car thickening.

"No matter what happens on track," he says softly, "I’ll never disobey your orders again. I’m sorry. We’re a team, and I need you to know that I understand that now."

Before you can react, he reaches over and takes your hand, his thumb gently rubbing your knuckles. The simple touch sends a jolt through you, making you gulp while warmth spreads from your hand to your entire body. You feel a mixture of emotions—comfort, confusion, and a deep-seated denial of what this could mean. You tell yourself it’s just a friendly gesture, nothing more.

You don’t protest, your hand remaining in his as he continues driving. The silence between you shifts, becoming something more intimate and reassuring. You can feel his strength and sincerity through the connection of your hands, and despite your best efforts to deny it, a part of you feels a deep sense of belonging.

As the car glides through the streets, Jungkook’s touch remains steady, anchoring you to this moment. His presence, his warmth, and his words blend into a quiet promise of trust and solidarity. You tell yourself it’s just the circumstances, you being lonely, the late hour, the emotional weekend behind you—but in the back of your little heart, you know it’s more. And for now, you let yourself enjoy the fleeting peace that comes from simply being beside him, his hand in yours.

After Jungkook dropped you off at your hotel last night, you couldn't sleep all night. You kept overthinking the car ride, replaying every moment in your mind. Yet, you told yourself that the sleeplessness was due to your jet lag and not because of Jungkook. 

The race simulation room you're in this morning is a high-tech haven within your team's headquarters where you'll spend the next few hours. The walls are adorned with monitors displaying data streams and circuit maps of the Suzuka International Racing Course in Japan. The vibration of machinery and the occasional click of keyboards form the backdrop to your team's focused atmosphere.

Jungkook is seated in the futuristic simulator, which replicates the cockpit of his Formula 1 car. The simulator's three large screens wrap around him, providing a near-360-degree view of the track. He’s fully suited up, helmet on, and hands gripping the steering wheel with the intensity of an actual race. His focus is tangible, his eyes darting from the virtual track to the display on his steering wheel, which shows telemetry data in real-time.

You stand at the control station, a complex array of monitors and control panels before you. Each screen shows a different aspect of the car's performance: speed, gear selection, engine temperature, tyre wear, and countless other parameters that will inform the team's strategy for the upcoming race in Japan. Your headset is on, allowing seamless communication with Jungkook and the rest of the engineering team.

“Okay, Jungkook, we’re ready to start the first run,” you say, your voice steady and clear through the radio. “Let’s focus on getting a clean lap to gather baseline data.”

Jungkook nods, and you watch as he navigates the simulator's controls. The car roars to life on the screen, and he accelerates down the virtual pit lane and onto the track. You keep an eye on the various readouts, watching how the car behaves through the corners and straights of Suzuka's iconic layout.

As Jungkook takes on the first set of S-curves, you notice slight oversteer. “You’re doing great, Jungkook. Let’s try to manage the oversteer through the Esses. Adjust your throttle input a bit earlier.”

“Got it,” he replies, his voice calm yet focused.

Lap after lap, you gather critical data. Tyre temperatures rise and fall, fuel consumption rates adjust, and the balance of the car shifts as Jungkook fine-tunes his driving lines and braking points. Each piece of data feeds into the computer models that will help predict how the car will perform in the actual race.

“Alright, let’s try a few different setups now,” you suggest after a series of consistent laps. “We’ll start with adjusting the front wing angle to see if we can get more downforce.”

You signal to one of the engineers, who quickly inputs the new configuration into the simulator. Jungkook waits patiently, using the brief pause to take a sip of water.

“Okay, new setup is loaded. Let’s see how this feels,” you inform him.

Jungkook nods and restarts his run. Immediately, you notice the car’s behaviour changing through the corners. “How’s the balance now?” you ask.

“Feels better, more responsive at the front. But I’m getting a bit of oversteer in the hairpin,” Jungkook reports.

“Copy that. We’ll try adjusting the rear suspension next,” you respond, making notes on your tablet.

The session continues, each adjustment bringing you closer to the optimal setup. You guide Jungkook through various configurations, each one providing valuable insights. The simulator’s feedback is so realistic that it’s almost like being on the actual track.

“Let’s do a race simulation now,” you announce after a while. “We need to see how the car behaves over a longer stint.”

Jungkook prepares himself, taking a deep breath and settling into a rhythm. The laps roll by, each one providing a wealth of data. Tyre degradation, fuel usage, and lap times are all meticulously logged. You communicate with him constantly, advising on tyre management and fuel-saving techniques.

“Pace is looking good, Jungkook. Keep it steady,” you encourage as he maintains a consistent lap time.

The simulation runs smoothly, and after a predetermined number of laps, you call him back into the virtual pit lane. “Great job, Jungkook. That was a solid stint. We’ve got a lot of good data to work with.”

Jungkook exits the simulator, removing his helmet and wiping the sweat from his brow. A sight you appreciate even in a professional setting. He joins you at the control station, where the team is already analysing the data.

“Let’s review the telemetry,” you say, pulling up the graphs and charts on the central monitor. “We can see here that the tyre wear was pretty consistent, but we need to look into the slight drop in pace during the middle stint.”

Jungkook leans in, his scent hitting you square in the face as he examines the data with you. Flashbacks of yesterday running wild in your mind. “I felt a bit of a drop in grip around lap ten. Could be the tyre temps spiking.”

You nod, trying to snap back to the present while you highlight the corresponding data points. “Yes, the front-left tyre temperature was higher than expected. We might need to tweak the camber settings.”

The debrief continues, with Jungkook providing invaluable feedback on how the car felt at different points of the simulation. You discuss potential adjustments, comparing them with the data gathered to formulate the best strategy for the race weekend.

As the session wraps up, you give Jungkook a pat on the back. “Excellent work today. We’ve got a lot to go on for Japan.”

“Thanks, it felt good. Looking forward to the weekend,” Jungkook replies with a smile.

You watch as he heads out, already thinking about the next steps. The data from today’s session will be critical in fine-tuning the car for the unique demands of the Suzuka circuit. You and the team will spend the next two days poring over every detail, ensuring that Jungkook has the best possible car for the race.

The room gradually empties, the noise of activity dying down. You sit back for a moment, reflecting on the day’s progress and Jungkook’s magnetic pull. Even though he sometimes feels like the sun you can't stop orbiting, there's still work to be done. With Jungkook’s skill and the data you’ve gathered, you would feel confident about the upcoming race weekend, if there wasn’t Mingyu. 

As you power down the equipment and gather your notes, you can’t help but feel a sense of excitement. The race in Japan is just around the corner, and with every data point analysed, you’re one step closer to a successful race weekend.

Making your way up the floors to your office, you stop by the kitchenette to fetch a coffee after the sleepless night. The day ahead isn’t over yet, and you need a boost to keep going. The rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee fills the small room as you pour yourself a cup. Just as you’re about to head to your office with your coffee in hand, Namjoon approaches with a smile.

"Hey, good morning," he greets you warmly.

"Good morning, Namjoon," you reply, returning his smile.

"Got a minute?" he asks, his tone friendly yet a bit hesitant.

"Sure, what’s up?" you respond, curious about what he wants to discuss.

He clears his throat and begins, "I wanted to clarify something about the first day we met. I’m sure you heard what Jungkook said as you were leaving."

Intrigued, you nod and encourage him to continue. "Go on."

"Well," Namjoon says, a bit awkwardly, "I wasn’t looking at your butt. I was actually looking at your posture. Your left shoulder seems to sag a little bit. Do you wear your purse on that side?"

A wave of embarrassment washes over you as you realise you had misinterpreted the situation. You thought he was checking you out. "Yes, you're right," you admit, feeling your cheeks heat up. "I do carry my purse on that side."

Namjoon nods, seemingly relieved. "Would you like to do a little workout for it? I’ve got an hour until I’m scheduled with Jungkook."

You ponder for a moment, but the idea of a break sounds perfect given your level of stress and tiredness. "Sure, why not," you agree.

Soon, you find yourself in your gym clothes, which you keep in your office for moments like this. You follow Namjoon to the team’s gym, a well-equipped space designed for quick yet effective workouts. Namjoon starts guiding you through a series of exercises meant to correct your posture and strengthen your shoulder.

As you move through the exercises, Namjoon breaks the silence. "By the way, you and Jungkook don’t have to worry about me. I’m gay and dating George."

You’re taken aback, not because of his disclosure but because it confirms he noticed your earlier embarrassment. "Oh, um, thank you for sharing that," you stammer, then quickly clarify, "But just to be clear, the relationship between Jungkook and me is purely professional."

Namjoon gives you a knowing look. "I don’t believe you," he says with a chuckle. "Jungkook talks about you all the time. You’re his favourite topic of conversation. He always brings up how you first met when you were teenagers and how you couldn’t stand him."

You feel a mix of emotions swirling inside you. Embarrassment, confusion, and a hint of something else you don’t want to place. "Really?" you ask, trying to keep your tone neutral.

"Yes, really," Namjoon continues. "He admires you in a way that’s more than professional. And I can see it in the way you look at him, too. It’s mutual."

You deny it again, "Namjoon, it’s not like that." But internally, you’re struggling with the truth of his words. Memories of late-night strategy sessions, the way Jungkook's eyes light up when he talks about racing, and the fluttering in your stomach every time you see him after a race flash through your mind.

Namjoon doesn’t press further. Instead, he focuses on guiding you through the next set of exercises, his demeanour still friendly but more subdued. "Just think about it," he says finally, offering a gentle smile.

You tease, “George, huh?”

Now it’s Namjoon’s turn to blush. “Yeah, it’s still fresh,” he admits, looking slightly embarrassed. “We’re at the stage of getting to know each other. Please keep it secret for now.”

You nod, a playful smile on your lips. “Your secret’s safe with me. But if you need any advice, you know where not to find me,” you say, masking your own embarrassment.

Namjoon laughs, shaking his head. “Thanks, but I think I’ll manage. Just don’t spread it around.”

“Of course not,” you reply, still smiling. “But if I see you sneaking off, I’ll know who you’re talking to.”

Namjoon chuckles again, the tension easing. 

You finish the workout feeling more relaxed physically but with your mind in turmoil. As you change back into your work clothes and head to your office, you replay Namjoon’s words over and over. You know there’s some truth to what he said, but admitting it, even to yourself, feels like opening a door you’re not ready to walk through.

The day moves on, filled with meetings and data analysis, but Namjoon's words linger in the back of your mind. Every interaction with Jungkook feels charged with a new awareness. You catch yourself watching him a little too closely, analysing every smile, every glance.

Later, as you work late into the evening, Jungkook stops by your office. "Hey, I wanted to go over some of the simulation data with you," he says, his voice as casual as ever.

"Sure, come in," you reply, your heart beating a little faster.

As you discuss the data, you find yourself distracted by the way he leans in, his focus on the screen, the small gestures that seem so familiar yet newly significant. You wonder if he feels it too, this strange tension that Namjoon has made you so aware of.

"I'm heading home in an hour. Will you be done by then? I can drive you home," Jungkook offers.

You look up at him, seeing the hope in his eyes, and can only hum in response.

"Great. I'll meet you at the lobby entrance," Jungkook says, standing up with a gentle smile that you reciprocate without thinking.

When Jungkook finally leaves, you sit back in your chair, staring at the door. You know you need to confront these feelings, but for now, you bury them deep, focusing on your work. The race in Japan is just days away, and you can’t afford distractions.

But as the hour ticks by and the office grows quiet, you can’t help but wonder what might happen if you allowed yourself to acknowledge the truth. Namjoon's words echo in your mind, and for the first time, you consider the possibility that your relationship with Jungkook could be something more than professional.

But for now, you pack up and push the thoughts aside as you head to the elevator, Jungkook already waiting for you with the same smile that leaves you breathless. 

Friday evening in Japan is eerily quiet at the paddock. The day's training session had gone well, the team managing to make final adjustments that promised a successful qualifying later that day. However, a strategic error in tyre management—a responsibility that fell squarely on your shoulders—left Jungkook in P3 during the qualifying session. The sense of disappointment still lingers as you step out into the darkness, determined to salvage the weekend by any means necessary.

The Red Bull garage looms ahead, bathed in dim, ambient light that casts long, eerie shadows. Each step you take echoes softly in the stillness of the night, your heartbeat a frantic drum in your chest. Fear and determination war within you, a volatile cocktail that drives you forward. The vast expanse of the garage stretches out before you, empty and silent, offering the perfect opportunity for your second solo mission. You move swiftly, your movements fluid and precise, slipping inside like a ghost. Your eyes dart around, frantic, scanning every nook and cranny for any sign of Mingyu or his team. The air is thick with tension, but as you search, you find the space blissfully clear of any presence. With a quiet sigh of relief, you head straight for Mingyu's gear, the objective of your desire. The silence around you feels both a blessing and a curse, heightening your senses and making every sound seem louder than it is. You remain on high alert, fully aware that discovery could mean serious consequences for both you and the team.

Carefully, you pull out your phone, the cool metal a reassuring weight in your trembling hand. You activate the camera, its bright light slicing through the darkness and casting sharp, eerie shadows that dance over the metallic knobs embedded in the fabric. Each click of the shutter feels like a small victory, highlighting the unusual and illicit modifications better than the pictures you’ve taken weeks before. The knobs glint under the stark light, their presence a silent testament to your growing suspicions. Encouraged by your discovery, you delve deeper into the search, your breath quickening as you rummage through more gear, adrenaline high in your veins. To your dismay and confirmation, you find similar knobs embedded in his right racing boot. The sight sends a chill down your spine, a cold reminder of the dangerous game you're playing. But the thrill of uncovering the truth fuels your resolve, and you focus intently on documenting the evidence, pushing fear to the back of your mind.

Just as you're about to snap another picture of the racing boot, a strong hand clamps down on your shoulder, wrenching you around with a force that knocks the breath out of you. Your heart leaps into your throat as you come face-to-face with Mingyu. His eyes blaze with anger and suspicion, his imposing frame casting a shadow over you and filling the garage with an oppressive presence. His tall and buff build swallows you whole and blocks out the dim light, making you feel small and vulnerable. 

"What’s a little bird like you doing here?" he snarls, his voice a dangerous, low rumble that sends a fresh wave of fear coursing through you. The menace in his tone is unmistakable, and you can feel your body tense up, every instinct screaming at you to run.

You open your mouth to respond, but no sound comes out. Your vocal cords feel paralysed by the sheer panic rising within you. As Mingyu steps closer, his towering frame becomes even more intimidating, forcing you to instinctively back away. Your hands tremble uncontrollably, making it hard to keep your phone steady, and a cold sweat breaks out on your forehead, trickling down your temples. "I... I was just..." you stammer, but the words catch in your throat, refusing to form coherent sentences. The weight of the situation presses down on you, making it hard to think or react rationally.

Mingyu's eyes narrow, his gaze piercing and unforgiving. He steps even closer, closing the gap between you with a menacing determination. You keep backing up, your steps frantic and unsteady, until you find yourself at the very edge of the garage. The cool night air brushes against your back, offering a stark contrast to the oppressive heat radiating from Mingyu's anger. "Tell me, what exactly are you doing here?" he demands, his voice a dangerous growl. Suddenly, his hand shoots out and grabs your neck, the pressure firm and unyielding. You gasp for breath, your hands instinctively flying up to grasp his wrist in a futile attempt to loosen his grip. The fear coursing through your body now is overwhelming, drowning out any semblance of bravery you thought you had.

Regret floods your mind like a tidal wave, threatening to drown you in its intensity. You curse yourself for embarking on this dangerous mission alone, for underestimating the risks and overestimating your ability to handle them. Thoughts of Jungkook, your team, and the potential consequences of your actions swirl in a chaotic storm within your head. What if you don't get out of this situation unharmed? The fear is almost paralysing, making it hard to focus on anything but the desperate hope that somehow, someone will come to your rescue. The reality of your vulnerability hits you hard, and you can't help but feel a deep sense of despair and helplessness.

Mingyu's grip tightens, the pressure on your neck intensifying as you see the rage boiling over in his eyes. "Answer me!" he growls, his voice a harsh, guttural sound that shakes you to your core. He shakes you slightly, his grip unrelenting. The world starts to blur at the edges, your vision narrowing as lightheadedness takes over. You feel your strength ebbing away when, suddenly, a voice cuts through the oppressive tension.

"Hey! What’s going on here?" Taehyung's voice slices through the air, sharp and authoritative. Mingyu's head snaps in Taehyung's direction, his expression a mix of surprise and annoyance. Relief floods through you, a lifeline amidst your mounting fear. Taehyung strides toward you with purpose, his eyes immediately locking onto Mingyu's hand around your neck, the protective fire in his gaze unmistakable.

Mingyu releases you abruptly, and you stumble back, gasping for air as you clutch your sore neck. "She was trespassing," Mingyu snaps, pointing a condemning finger at you. "Spying. That’s against regulations."

Taehyung steps between you and Mingyu, his stance solid and unyielding. "All I saw was a man assaulting a woman. You might want to reconsider your actions," he says, his tone icy and eyes never wavering from Mingyu's face. The tension crackles like electricity, a standoff between the two men that hangs in the air.

Mingyu's eyes flash with unrestrained anger, but he takes a reluctant step back. "This isn't over," he warns, jabbing a finger in your direction one last time before turning on his heel and vanishing into the shadows of the night.

Taehyung turns to you, his face softening with concern. "Are you okay?" he asks, his voice now gentle, a stark contrast to the sharpness it held moments before.

You nod slowly, still rubbing your neck where Mingyu's fingers had left their mark. "Yeah, I think so. Thanks to you," you manage to say, your voice a bit shaky from the adrenaline still coursing through your veins.

"We need to report this to the FIA," Taehyung insists firmly. "Mingyu physically assaulted you. This can't go unaddressed."

"I'm not sure," you reply hesitantly, the thought of further exposure daunting. But Taehyung’s unwavering resolve cuts through your doubt.

"It's the best course of action," he says, his tone brooking no argument. "And we won't say a word about what you were doing before Mingyu showed up."

You sigh, a mixture of resignation and acceptance washing over you. Knowing he's right, you agree. "Okay. We'll report it. But what were you doing here, anyway?"

A small, wry smile tugs at Taehyung's lips. "I had the same idea as you. But you beat me to it," he admits, a hint of admiration in his voice.

As you and Taehyung leave the paddock, the night air cool against your flushed skin, you glance at him, a new worry gnawing at you. "Promise me you won't tell Jungkook about this," you say quietly, your voice barely above a whisper.

Taehyung frowns and glances at your neck. "I’m afraid I won’t have to, it’s quite unmistakable." 

The two of you walk side by side, the night’s events casting a long shadow. Mingyu's warning echoes in your ears, a constant reminder of the stakes involved.

Back at the hotel, you part ways with Taehyung, thanking him again for his help. Alone in your room, you sit on the edge of the bed, staring at the pictures on your phone. The evidence you’ve gathered is significant, but it has come at a cost. You hope that tomorrow will bring clarity and that you'll find a way to move forward without further jeopardising yourself or the team.

Sleep doesn't come easily that night. The memory of Mingyu's hands around your neck haunts you, and the weight of your decisions presses heavily on your mind. But amidst the fear and uncertainty, you feel a flicker of determination. This fight isn't over, and you’re more committed than ever to seeing it through.

“___, could you please follow me?” Toto steps in front of you, blocking your view of a raging Jungkook, who is stomping his way toward you through the paddock on this Saturday morning before the sprint qualifying begins.

You glance up at Toto, his face passive and pale, and nod. “Yes, boss.”

Following him to the back room of the garage, you notice two representatives from the FIA and Taehyung sitting by the table, clearly waiting for Toto and you.

“What’s going…” Jungkook had clearly followed you but his presence and voice are cut off as Toto, unimpressed, closes the door in his face.

“Please take a seat,” one of the representatives says, thick with an Italian accent. Your nerves flare up, but Taehyung’s reassuring smile eases them a little.

“We heard that a driver had physically harassed and injured you. Is that true?” the same representative continues emotionless. 

You glance again at Taehyung, who nods, his warm smile still in place, giving you the reassurance you need. “Yes.”

“Could you name the driver who harassed you and what he did?” the other representative asks then. 

Last night flashes in your mind, the fear returning momentarily as you fiddle with your thumbs. “It was Park Mingyu. He choked me.”

Both representatives note your answer down, nodding before standing up.

“Thank you very much for your statement. If it’s not a bother, could we take a picture of your neck?”

You reach up, feeling the slight swelling on your neck. The bruises, shimmering in red, green, and blue at some spots, are a reminder of the aggression you faced. Each tender spot under your fingers feels as if Mingyu's grip is still there, the phantom pressure of his hand lingering around your throat. A shiver runs down your spine, and you gulp, realising the importance of this evidence. It must be documented meticulously to ensure there’s no doubt about what happened. The thought of the photographs being taken, capturing your vulnerability and the violence inflicted upon you, makes you uneasy, but you know it's necessary. “Sure,” you whisper, your voice barely audible. 

After the pictures are taken, the representatives thank you and exit the room. Almost immediately, Jungkook seizes the opportunity to peek into the room, his anxious eyes scanning for you. You realise he must have been waiting outside the entire time. The door closes softly behind them, leaving a heavy silence in their wake. Now, you're alone with Taehyung and Toto. The room feels smaller, more intimate, with just the three of you. Taehyung stands quietly beside you, his presence a comforting reassurance, while Toto's gaze remains steady and composed, though you can sense the undercurrent of worry in his eyes. The gravity of the situation hangs in the air, making the room feel even more charged with unspoken words and unresolved emotions.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Toto says, his tone distant as he speaks. “And I appreciate your assistance.” He adds, turning briefly to acknowledge Taehyung. “It’s unusual for a rival team to intervene like this.”

“It’s nothing, really,” Taehyung waves his hand around, still smiling at you as if knowing you need this more than ever. 

“Are you good to work?” Toto asks you.

“Yes, boss,” you reply, telling the truth.

"Good," Toto murmurs, his brow furrowing in contemplation. "Make sure to stick close to the team from now on, alright?"

"Yes, boss. I'll keep close," you reply, though Toto's shift in demeanour leaves you feeling unsettled.

"Good, good," Toto repeats, his voice trailing off slightly as he heads out the door. There's a visible tension in his movements, contrasting his usual composed self.

Jungkook strides purposefully into the room just as Toto makes his exit, his gaze flicking from you to your neck and then to Taehyung with a mixture of concern and anger etched on his features. His steps are quick, his posture tense as he points an accusatory finger at Taehyung. "What did you do to her?!" The words are sharp, laden with worry and protectiveness.

Taehyung responds with a laugh, raising his hands in a placating gesture while you move to stand in front of him, hoping to diffuse Jungkook's escalating emotions. "I saved Miss Dangerous here," Taehyung explains calmly, his tone light despite the seriousness of the situation. "Mingyu's the one who hurt her."

Jungkook's brow furrows as he processes the information, the tension in the room palpable as both you and Taehyung attempt to calm him down. You speak softly, explaining what happened and reassuring him that you're alright, urging him not to confront Mingyu in anger.

Later, as the sprint qualifying session is about to start, news spread through the paddock like wildfire. Teams and media alike learn of Mingyu's ban from the weekend's events, the result of his repeated violations of regulations, specifically for his assault on you. The atmosphere at the Suzuka Course is a mix of relief and lingering tension, with whispers of the incident circulating among team personnel and journalists alike, punctuated by murmurs of support and solidarity from your colleagues. 

Race day arrives on Sunday, and the paddock is clamouring with media for statements about Mingyu's ban and the incident involving you. Toto steps in, shielding you from the press frenzy, urging you to focus on the impending race while he handles the public relations. 

Watching his interview on the pit wall through a nearby screen, you feel grateful for a boss like him. He speaks confidently to the reporter, highlighting your skills as one of the most talented race engineers across all teams. Toto emphasises the importance of protecting women in a sport where they are still a rarity, citing the FIA's response as evidence of their commitment to a safe work environment.

Just as you start to settle into the seat, Jungkook startles you by placing his large hands on your shoulders. 

“I’m sorry.” He squeezes your shoulders lightly. “I didn’t mean to startle you.” 

“It’s okay, I’m fine.” You smile at him, your voice quiet.

“You ready for the race?” Jungkook shifts to beside you, leaning against the pit wall with crossed arms. He’s already in his black gear, fitting his body perfectly. 

With a playful grin, you counter “It’s you who needs to be ready.”

“We’re are team. Aren’t we, babe?”

You blush at his playful persona but laugh along, realising how much you've missed his relaxed and humorous side. As the anticipation builds, you feel a sense of optimism washing over you, hoping that everything is finally starting to align positively.

The race unfolds spectacularly, the anticipation building with each lap as Jungkook skilfully navigates the track. As the final lap approaches, Jungkook's dominance is undeniable. You with the pit crew, glued to their monitors, erupt in unison  cheers as Jungkook crosses the finish line in first place. The shouts reverberate through the paddock, faces full of elation and pride for the team's achievement.

With George closely following in second place, the team's success is complete. The pit lane becomes a stage of jubilation as Jungkook's car rolls to a stop, surrounded by cheering mechanics and team members. They hoist him and George onto their shoulders, their exuberance contagious as they celebrate their victory. The air is filled with high-fives, hugs, and congratulatory shouts. 

Standing at the back of the crowd, you fix your gaze on Jungkook amidst the post-race celebrations. His figure stands out, exuding triumph and relief, yet there's a subtle hint of something unresolved in his expression. You observe him scanning the crowd, his eyes searching earnestly as if seeking something beyond the victory itself. Your heart races with conflicting emotions, wanting desperately to catch his attention without uttering a word.

Finally, his gaze meets yours, a brief moment that feels like an eternity. In that instance, his smile lights up like the sun itself, mirroring the warmth that spreads across your own face. The connection is fleeting yet profound, a shared acknowledgment that transcends words.

Suddenly, the realisation hits you like a thunderclap. Your expression falls rapidly, hands pausing mid-clap, the color draining from your face. 

Jungkook notices the shift in your demeanour, his brow furrowing in concern, but before he can react, you pivot abruptly, heart pounding as you retreat from the scene as fast as you can.

Your only destination being away from him. 

01 • 02 • 03 • 04 • 05 • series masterlist • 07

a/n 3: lmk what you think in any way you like! please send me a message, ask or comment if you would like to be tagged for upcoming chapters 💕 also - character asks and drabble requests are open

Like what you read? Check out my other work here!

taglist: @jksusawife

[imagionationstation]

Hiya!

You can call me IS or NinjaNeko! Major ninja turtles fan! I adore 2012 turtles, but my interests lie with all the movies and series! LOVED Mutant Mayhem! Can’t wait for more!!

My favorite turtle depends on the brothers in question, but it’s usually between Raph and Donnie! My favorite sibling bond is usually Leo&Donnie, but, again, it depends! Ask whatever you like- I love chatting turtles!

DISCLAIMER: I am TERRIBLE at responding to things, but I love asks! I swear! I promise that every single one is appreciated, and I definitely intend on getting around to it!

I do a lot here nowadays, so let me fill you in!

For common tags to organize posts, check the tags below!

For a better understanding of the categories:

I’m most popular for my analyses. I tend to throw out a few rants/interpretations/descriptions on unnoticed or misunderstood aspects of turtle iterations, mainly for the 2012 gang. These guys are extremely misunderstood creatures (See what I see TMNT).

I also do Incorrect TMNT Quotes for the fandom (incorrect tmnt quotes), Tumblr Turtle story clips (ImagionationStation’s Ficlets), I make Mini Music Videos (IS TMNT MMV), post some 2012 show moments and randomly compile a full episode from a single turtle’s POV (Show Clips), and I intend to document thoughts about other shows when I have the time to watch (Turtle Comparison Notes).

I have a tag for asks (IS Asks) and a tag specifically for AUs that get dropped off in my Ask box (AU Asks). Got an AU idea that you’d like explored? As long as it’s in my comfort zone, let’s do so together!

Speaking of AUs:

Once Upon A 2012Donnie Au: Masterpost

Feral Raphie AU Blog Link: Intro

Other places to find me:

I’m on A03 and Wattpad!

I touch base on YouTube every now and then~

I share a sideblog for AUs and the like: @bringingourrealitys2life

If I see a comic scene that makes my brain explode with emotions, I’m going to want to find it again. I collect them here. Feel free to browse and see if I stumble on any that aren’t wildly popular or have yet to become so: @strictlyturtlecomics

Quick Sidenote!

I understand that the turtles have their flaws. I acknowledge that I have my flaws. I do not need you to yell these facts at me.

I reserve the right to block haters that hate for the sake of hating. If you are not willing to chat negatives without passive aggressive behavior or an open mind, I will block without hesitation.

Thanks for stopping by and have a wonderful turtleful life! 💚💚

[endereies]

FUCK IT - MATT STURNIOLO - PART 6

Spotify Playlist:

Pairing: Matt x Oc

Contains: Growing up with parents who make her feel isolated, what happens when she meets Matt. A person who introduces her to new people, new experiences and new feelings.

Requested?: no

Author's notes: I'm finally finished with school for the break so I should be updating a little quicker over the next 2 weeks.

Word Count: 3265

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

“Is this something we are meant to do?”

“Fuck it.”

“Okay, so, we submit this on Monday and we still have four scenes to analyse and then two exam questions to go through.” Matt mumbles as he places his back down next to me in the library and unsheathes a load of sheets, more are crumpled than ones that aren’t. The amount of them excelling the more meetings we had after school.

“We can get that done in a weekend, right?” My voice tainted with uncertainty. I had got to the library fifteen minutes before him so all my work was already displayed out in front of me with scribbles of different coloured pen one each of them.

“right.”

We were a little bit behind in our project since the majority of our meetups end in us just talking about random things or playing music with our home equipment. I would borrow Chris’s old guitars which was covered in a metallic red with black strings. The picks he bought matched perfectly dividing the red and black shades with lines of silver. Matt’s drumkit was similar to the school’s own designs yet on the base drum was the name ‘sturniolo’ in a faded midnight blue. Each drum fastened with the same blue wrapped around them. He had custom drum sticks too, fading from the original beige wood to a dyed neon-blue. The vibrancy capturing my attention every time, I bet he knew that to with the amount he’d smirk at me when he noticed me staring.

It's why we planned on staying in the library to finish the project, hopefully none of us get distracted. That’s if Matt stopped tapping his pen on the table.

“Matt.” My tone is stern as I frown still facing the pages of my book. He was too distracted in his ‘mini-concert’ that I grabbed his wrist firmly, which made his pen fall out his hand and onto the wooden desk below him.

He stammers a little as I glare at him and raise an eyebrow at him.

“The fuck did I do?”

“If you keep tapping that fucking pen on the desk, I will snap it in half.” I hold eye contact until I’m finished speaking and I let go of his wrist, watching his circulation fade back.

“And yet, you can do it all the time.” He smirks at me again and I retort by scoffing.

“When I’m in class and have nothing to do…you haven’t written anything for 10 minutes.”

“Normally by now we are playing music at our houses, this is a long ass day and this is only making it longer.” A sigh escapes my lips and I drop my pen, lean back for a moment and fold my arms loosely across my chest.

“Okay. If you work with me until six, I’ll buy you lunch all of next week.”

“Ain’t no way, you aren’t serious.”

“And you can get whatever you wish, no matter the cost, doesn’t even have to the food on campus.” I interject him by cutting him off and leaning closer over the table.

“Fine. Deal.” He holds out his hand in front of me and I look up at him with a blank expression.

“What are we, in 6th grade? I’m not shaking your hand.” I roll my eyes to him to just pick up my pen and start writing again.

“Damn, you’re no fun.”

“No…I just happened to hit puberty.” I click my tongue inside my mouth

I feel his glare on me before he continues to work on the papers in front of him. I take out my small white case and take out one of my headphones and pick up my phone to play some music in to them. I don’t bother checking what playlist I click on and immediately blast heavy dubstep into my ears, loud enough to make Matt pay attention to me again and giggle when I jump from the volume. I spam the volume control and turn it down rapidly until I can tolerate it. Matt immediately looks away from me, trying not to laugh when I hold my gaze on him for a few seconds.

-

“Is it nearly six, Alyia. My hand is fucking cramping up.” Matt whines for the fourth time in ten minutes.

“Like I said two minutes ago, no. Besides you have yet to finish of that question and it’s been nearly thirty minutes.”

“I don’t understand how you’ve been writing for that long without taking a break.”

“I want to get this finished; I don’t exactly want all this effort to go down the drain. I’ve stayed up too many nights for this.”

“Really…?” His voice filled with concern as his smirk and joke-filled demeanour faded quickly.

“What.”

“I would’ve done more of you asked me to…you didn’t have to stay up for any of it.” I interject him before he can continue

“Matt. I have more time than you, the project’s getting done. Does it really matter?” I look up to him, dropping my pen for the first time in a while.

“Of course it matters, you need sleep Alyia.”

“I also need this project done.” He sighs and rolls his eyes at me, returning the glares I’ve been giving him all night.

“Promise me you’ll relax after the project is due and let me finish off the last two questions.”

“You really like your promises, huh?” My page fills the silence as it crumples, getting caught on itself, making me purse my lips as I try to fix it before continuing to write.

“Alyia.” He grabs the pen out my hand and places it far from my reach and I narrow my eyes at him again. “I mean that, let me handle the rest of it and get some rest. Please.” I raise my eyebrow at him.

“I’ll sleep appropriately, fine, but I’m writing the last question. You can happily take the other one if you so desire.”

“Thank you. I’m not having your sleep decrease because you don’t want to ask for help.” His words make me raise my voice at him.

“What do you mean by that.”

“I don’t recall me stuttering. You have been sacrificing your sleep because you didn’t want to ask me to do a little more work.” He leans in to me, as if he is mocking me and I scoff.

“Not true.” My words mumble, subconsciously knowing he is right.

“Whatever, look it has gone six now, c’mon. We can work on this later on.” He shuffles papers together and stuffs them into his bag, lacking organisation which makes me stare at his back with a slightly shocked expression.

I follow his actions, however, and with a heavy sigh I put all my work in a pile, putting the sheets in between two books to keep them straight.

“You want to hang out later or something?” He slings his backpack over his shoulder and looks back at me.

“Hang out, me and you somewhere. I would recommend my place but Nick is there with Chris and Madi.”

“I know a place we could go if you want? I haven’t been there in a while so I don’t know how overgrown it is.”

“Wait wait. Did you say overgrown, what kind of fucking place is this.” Matt waits for me to catch-up to him and I walk slightly faster so he doesn’t have to wait so long.

“Amery Grove? There is a line of old houses at the back that people kind of forgot about, maybe like twenty years ago? I’m not sure.” Matt gaze falls to me as I start to ramble, simply listening to my words.

“Well, anyway, about two years ago a few of my friends and I decided to fix a few of them up during the summer. We didn’t decorate or anything but we cleaned old furniture and threw out what we didn’t need. While it wasn’t the prettiest, we hung out there a lot.”

“So, you just went to abandoned buildings and fixed them?” He keeps walking and opens doors in front of me as I keep talking. When he does, I quickly walk through them and turn to face Matt, proceeding to talk with my hands.

“Yeah, it was fun, even if our skills were mediocre, it made for good hangouts and a few parties.”

“You go to parties?” He gives me a side eye and I roll my eyes in response.

“Not as much anymore, I went when I had more friends to talk to and less schoolwork on my back. Maybe at some point…”

-

“Cmon you are slow” I drag out my words and groan as I get more excited, wanting to jump up and down to reduce the amount of energy but instead I shake my hands around.

“Jesus Alyia, I’m just putting our bags in here, I’m not carrying all of this across the Grove.” He arranges the bags in the back seats like some real-life game of Tetris. After another minute or so he finally shuts the car door and locks it.

“Okay I’m done, let’s go.” He puts his keys back by his belt and returns to my side.

“I haven’t been here in a while, so no promises on how clean it’ll be.”

“I’m sure it’s fine.” He smiles at me briefly before focusing on walking through some reasonably tall grass.

The trail I normally use is more overgrown than what I used to walk through so as we walk, we use old trees to climb past different areas and our feet to stamp on brambles and stinging nettles. It is pitch-black outside by this point so we are using our phone’s flashlights to guide our way through the trail. Leaves hang down from nearby trees and I start to wish I brought my jacket with me.

I place my feet onto a tree stump and try to climb over a fallen branch, but when my weight switches feet, I slip on some moss and fall backwards from the stump. My phone drops from my hand and the flashlight goes into my eyes, making me close them. I place my hands back to support myself for when I hit the floor but I never do. Instead, a tight grip snakes around to the side my waist and upper back, slowly pushing my body back to stand straight.

“Woah woah, are you alright…” I open my eyes to see Matt looking down at me with concerned eyes. I can barely make it out since he dropped his phone and its flashlight instantly to catch me. His chain dangles above my face and once I stand up properly, he uses one of his hands to push his hair back, keeping the other on my waist.

“Uh huh…” I regain my focus and brush myself off and pick up our phones from the damp grass. “Thanks”

“Of course,” He takes his phone back, brushing off the debris, continuing to walk ahead of me and over the branch I just slipped on. “You need to be more careful, sweetheart.”

It’s that fucking nickname again.

-

“Here we are!” I run ahead of Matt and smile bright at the few houses on a quiet lit up street.

“Its still the same…” I smile to myself, remembering how I used to run around here.

“Yeah? I think it looks fucking awesome.” He circles around me looking at the few houses, clearly seeing a difference between the ones I fixed up and the ones I left.

“Really?”

“Really. Y’know…maybe one day we could fix one up?” I turn my head a little too quickly to face him, who was already smiling at me.

“You wanna? Like, for real?” He simply nods to me before walking off to look at one of the houses closest to us.

I run to catch up to him again and I grab his wrist to show him inside one of the houses. The inside walls occasionally spotted with carvings of names and dates, ripping through worn out wallpaper. Unfinished projects left abandoned, mostly within the kitchen. I pick up an old and now rusted hammer and spin it around in my hands, recalling the last use of it going towards a leg of an old chair that lay on its side next to it. A bittersweet smile covers my face the more I venture the house, with Matt always following right behind, dragging his fingers across old cabinets and cupboards.

“you guys did so much work in here…” He picks up old projects that remain unfinished and analyze them one by one, awe showing within his eyes. “Why did you ever stop this?”

“We stopped being as close I guess...nothing personal to one another, just different schools and points in our lives. I still have contact but no one really talks as much anymore.” I quiet my voice and sit down on one of the chairs and put down the hammer.

“None of us ever took that personally, we just drifted. Miss it all like hell though.”

Matt stays quiet for a moment, just looking at me with slight pity.

“That’s a shame, especially since nothing even happened that you could’ve changed.” The distance between us closes as I stand up again but I simply keep walking towards the bottom of the stairs before I slowly walk up them.

Matt pov:

I follow her up the stairs, stepping where she did in case any areas are weak enough to break, but once I put that focus into the decor upstairs, I stand still. The upstairs was so much nicer, covered in intact wallpaper and furniture that made it seem like someone actually lived there. More carvings were decorating the walls and less tools were on the floors. I take in more of what’s around me, admiring the hard work.

Hearing the stories about her old friends make me smile but also makes me wonder why she is more closed off to people now.

We start to wonder around the different areas that she decorated and I admire the craftsmanship and efforts they put in to it.

“We can chill up here if you want?” Alyia points to a balcony that is guarded by a wooden fence, a few old chairs are stacked up and leant against the glass door and I walk through.

“Can I ask why you took me here, not that I hate it or anything. Just…if this place reminds you of your friends, why bring me here.” Alyia’s face falters slightly and I feel bad for bringing them up.

“This place has many memories but I feel stuck whenever I come here, and I love this place. I don’t want to come back here and feel self-pity when I see those carvings on the walls.”

“I meant it by the way.”

“Meant what Matt?” I look up at her before looking over the edge and down onto the weakly lit street.

“Fixing a place up with you, could be fun.” I smile at her before looking back over the edge and laying my arms on the wooden fence, trying not to apply a lot of weight onto it.

“I have no idea if any of the lighting still works properly, a few faulty lights here and there but nothing major enough to set anything up properl-“

“So? We have already walked through here in the dark easily enough, besides we don’t have to come here only at night.”

I turn back to look inside the house but my vision is slightly impaired from looking at the street lights too long. I change my point of view and glance down to my phone to check the time.

9:24pm

“Shit, it’s kind of late, do you parents want you back at a certain time?” I message Chris and Nick an apology after seeing the copious number of texts and missed calls.

“Uhm no, I can be back whenever” She trails off and I remember the phone call she had at my place.

“Oh…is she not home again?” I receive a small nod in return.

“You can stay over if you want to?”

“No, it’s okay I have things to do anyway…” She avoids eye-contact with me but I try not to question anything

“Alright then, should we head back, I’m being attacked by Nick so much” I see her smile as I finish speaking and just stands up and starts to walk back to the stairs.

-

“Just here, okay?” I turn the wheel and look through my window for any parking on the edge of the road.

“Yeah, this is perfect, thanks again” She thanks me for the millionth time tonight.

“Kid, I’ve already said it’s okay to drive you places.” I finish parking which makes the car tilt slightly as it reaches over the curb.

“Goodnight Matt.”

“Yeah, goodnight.”

The drive back to my place was quite bleak, even when I turned aux on, none of the songs fit the mood I was in. Whatever that mood was. I just focused on the road ahead and the way the lights shone through my windshield and lit up areas in my car like a mini disco. I sigh when I hit another red light and pull the cable from my phone and I resort to the radio music. It immediately blares and I turn it down quickly to a volume quiet enough for some background audio.

I should hate you – Gracie Abrams

It was already half way through the song but I let it play none-the-less, letting the calm guitar fill the car. The quiet and soft vocals relaxed me and I was able to take a deep breath that didn’t result from frustration.

I notice the song fading out just as I pull into the road that I live on so I turn the radio off completely as to not ruin my mood, but as soon as I step inside it gets dampened anyway.

“Oh my God, Matt. Where were you!” I drop my keys into a small bowl and I instantly get bombarded by Nick’s concerned voice.

“Out.”

“Out? Is that all you have to say. You said you were revising the project until six and then you would be home. It is nearly half ten and this is the first we have heard from you!” he starts to exclaim and honestly, I can’t blame him for the way he is acting

“I went somewhere with Alyia…that’s all. I guess we lost track of time.” I mumble quietly, knowing I’m in the wrong but I’m not going to apologize for having a good time.

“I’m not saying you can’t hang out with people, just let us know, okay? It could be three am for all I care but as long as I have some form of communication. You had us worried…” Nick takes a deep breath and looks down to the floor.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve said something…Where is Chris?” I try and change the subject to lessen the amount I get yelled at.

“He’s asleep upstairs, he wanted to wait for you but he was exhausted after hockey so I refused to let him.”

I look up to Nick and give him a tight-lipped smile, feeling guilt twinge inside briefly.

“You better go have a shower or something, you’re covered in dirt, Matt.”

“Yeah, I will…sorry again.” Nick simply hugs me tight.

“It’s alright, just don’t let me stay up again.” He punches my arm lightly and we smile at each other.

© ENDEREIES 2024

@melliflws @axolotllover225 @yuhayeee @st7rnioioss @sturn-bugz @sturniolosmind @worldlxvlys @patscorner @breeloveschris @y0urm4m @bernardsbendystraws @junnniiieee07

[asherisgone]

GOOD OMENS 2 SPOILERS DEAR SATAN SCROLL AWAY DON'T PRESS SEE MORE.

I've had major whiplash from the last 15 minutes of episode 6, so I'm here to analyse because it's eating me alive.

So I know a lot of people have theories that Aziraphale's been manipulated or miracled or the coffee is suspicious: whatever. I'm not here to fully push any theories, I'm just here to provide evidence and things for people to make their own conclusions.

First part of this is analysing Aziraphale himself:

Before we can even begin to dissect his statements, let's talk about who he is.

This angel hasn't changed his outfit in a century, forget the damn hair that has been the same since the universe even began.

He loves humanity and being humans because he is, even if he can't accept that, never has. All the way back in the aftermath of Jobe's story, their conversation, aziraphale doesn't find his peace during it, he desperately holds onto 'heaven = good' even though we've proven that isn't true. Even in Edinburgh, he's adament what they're doing is wrong (heaven's ideals) until Crowley shows him the truth of humanity; EVEN THEN he still can't accept the grey area of it all ("the side of truth... of good"), where Crowley is comfortable with his humanity, aziraphale clutches onto the "light grey" because he still craves heaven's approval.

*quick aside, I am aware Crowley does say "dark grey" but I read his tone as mocking and playful, plus he says it himself in the argument that he doesn't need hell or heaven.

But to sum that part up, that explains why Aziraphale takes the job, why he wants Crowley to be an angel again: he never got the closure he needed from heaven, he can't accept that it's just as corrupt as hell (if not more so since at least hell are doing it on purpose). He is sick of being worried and scared for Crowley, he wants to change everything so they can be together safely...

So onto the argument then..

Aziraphale says he may have misjudged the Metatron, why? because the Metatron praises him deeply to gain his trust "you're a leader, you're honest, you don't just tell people what they want to hear."

and honestly it's mostly exaggeration.

He's a lousy leader, Crowley walked all over him during the battle of the bookshop, he even says himself that they just have to do whatever Crowley says; he steps up to his potential at the last minute with the halo. He's not only a people pleaser (cause he thinks that's what angels are), but he also knows how to say things people want to hear to get his way, especially Crowley.

THE WHOLE JOBE MINI EPISODE IS ABOUT AZIRAPHALE UNDERMINING AND LYING TO HEAVEN FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE.

So we cannot trust the Metatron - he just needs someone who he can influence and control to rule heaven, that's why Gabriel was thrown out the minute he began to make his own decisions. It's why he uses Crowley as a bargaining tool to get Azi on his side after he says "I don't want to go back to heaven"

This entices Aziraphale because as someone who doesn't like change, he'd be able to be with Crowley "like the old times" without disrupting their dynamic of unspoken partnership.

Crowley immediately feels something is off "You're better than that", after all, what happened to "we're on our side" or "we carved it out for ourselves". Crowley is entirely comfortable in being human or on his own side... until aziraphale comes along to show him he doesn't need to be alone

Crowley repeats "tell me you said no": at first in disbelief, thinking he knows aziraphale wouldn't be that rash, his face immediately falls, in complete and utter disbelief at the possibility he's losing his angel.

So he repeats the question, this time it's a plea, he's practically begging for Aziraphale to correct him even though he knows it's not possible. His eyes widen, his fear is true and he's panicking as he knows what Aziraphale just signed up for. He shows so much betrayal in this one look too it's insane how well-done this scene is...

His last minute declaration of love is wholly an attempt to convince Azi to stay, the panic in his voice is unmistakeable "I think I'd better say it now." he's rushed, he's desperate.

*another aside, Michaels delivery of "come with me" in the softest voice and puppy eyes known to man is the absolute death of me. But it speaks to his innocence and sheer ignorance of what's going on.

Crowley knows his angel, "you can't leave the bookshop" which, as far as I'm concerned, is a euphemism for himself and their relationship. (of course literally as well, I mean aziraphale would die with their shop) and with the response being "nothing lasts forever. That's an insane line, ineffable husbands? nah sorry. But it's simply untrue, he doesn't like change, he hasn't ever sold a book, he doesn't change his hair and his style simply doesn't waver. This isn't something Aziraphale would say and mean. (which is also something people are using as evidence of Azi not being himself). Although, it also shows that he's willing to give up the bookshop and earth and everything he worked for if it means he and Crowley may have a safe future in heaven.

Everyone's noticed that Crowley shows his eyes more in season 2, but only when he and aziraphale are alone, he has them off the entire conversation until after aziraphale says that nothing lasts. He puts them back on. His facial expressions and body language are all so insecure all of a sudden; they can't even look at the angel they've been pining for since the beginning of time.

Aziraphale is unwavering, which is so confusing, he has smile still plastered on his face - an incredibly forced and frankly naive smile, but he absolutely cannot grasp the concept that crowley likes and actively accepts being human, but Azi is desperate to be an angel, once thinking he lost his way and now clawing back because otherwise he isn't good. "We could be together... Angels! doing good...".

I'm entirely convinced that considering only Crowley knows about Gabriel being thrown out for thwarting heaven's plans, he knows that aziraphale and him couldn't make a difference if they tried, the reason the Metatron even suggests the two of them can work together is to control them: afterall they're the ones who prevented armaggadont the first time, and also almost declared a war between heaven and hell. If you were the Metatron you'd seek to stop them too.

This seems to be why Crowley immediately fucks off the minute he senses Aziraphale can't understand what's going on "I think I understand a whole lot better than you do". Crowley laid his heart out to the one person he thought understood him, but Aziraphale gets ahead of himself and insisting Crowley joins him in heaven signifies something utterly world shattering as they were grey together, and he thought aziraphale understood that (again I call you back to the story of Jobe). "I could always rely on you"

Aziraphale stops him for obvious reasons, but that's why when Crowley says "no nightingales" it's more than just a metaphor. Obviously they reach an impasse in the conversation, it's Crowley's way of saying they're done, but what it signifies a new shift: this isn't his angel anymore. especially when you follow this with "you idiot-" because all I can think of is "how can someone as clever as you be so stupid" back from season 1. Crowley at this point has given up. he's done.

(*aside, this is an observation if you take it as a way to say that Azi is under a miracle or manipulated that's for you to decide.)

Aziraphale tries desperately to hide his emotions, the fake smiles and the depth of regret and sadness in his eyes, he looks at Crowley like he doesn't recognise him anymore even though it's not him who's changed.

and then...

EVERY - their kiss for those who did not have the misfortune of it being spoiled for them.

Is it only me who feels physically nauseous watching this? And I don't mean because I didn't want this to happen, of course not, but it's the amount of emotion charged behind it that makes it so devastating. The anger, pure desperation and DAMN IT IM SO SORRY I CAN'T BE CALM BUT AZIRAPHALE'S FACE AND REACTION GENUINELY MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLY SAD.

two sides of this I'll analyse now.

Crowley - this is his absolute last chance and card he can play, he's done with words, "Well then... there's nothing else to say". He is heartbroken at this point, filled with desperation and pure longing for the one thing he's always been certain of: he needs this to work out. He literally runs to save their relationship, and fucking yanks aziraphale (love the parallel to season 1) but look at his determination in the furrowed brows... This isn't a loving and sentimental kiss, this is life or death as far as he's concerned.

Aziraphale - dear lord, where do I begin... He's caught off guard but something looks so wrong, it's not the look of a welcome surprise, it almost angry. He's upset that it's happening now, not that it's happening at all. He wants Crowley from 5 minutes ago, before their world crumbled in on them, but now he's hurt and he won't let himself have this Crowley that won't be with him as an angel, supporting him as supreme archangel... My only evidence for Aziraphale wanting to kiss Crowley just not in that moment is purely his hands. Granted, Crowley was holding that fucker tight, like goddamn- but he didn't stop it by any means, not for a whole 12 seconds. He wavers, holding him gently for only a moment with the most amount of trepidation, before reeling back as if he'd be burnt if he lingered, holding his hands away.

Afterwards?

that's the most betrayed look I've seen in my life... It's a "what the hell did you just do, you've only made this harder for me and yourself" Aziraphale has made his mind up and knows exactly what his plan is, he wants to make peace with leaving crowley, giving up on taking him with him, but this has proven how dedicated Crowley is to this, only making separating that much more painful.

That's why he doesn't say anything. Settling for "I forgive you." The very same words he echoed in season 1. A demon, the unforgivable fallen angels. Aziraphale is giving him another chance almost, saying "you were never fallen in my eyes" but also allowing him to leave, forgiving him for throwing away the opportunity Aziraphale is giving to him (I'm not saying that as in I think that's a good option I mean it from Aziraphale's perspective.)

Crowley immediately picks up on that, his voice defeated upon realising that aziraphale wasn't receptive to his efforts "don't bother". His lasts words to the angel that he no longer recognises and who doesn't recognise him. His angel basically admitted that he doesn't love him as a demon, only as an angel...

And that's the most poignant part I think. Nina is right, they don't communicate, and although a lot was said, it wasn't enough...

Aziraphale's touch of the lips shows so much. It's almost as though he feels violated or robbed of what was meant to be pure and special, but soured by their own inability to talk. Not only that, it's clearly a lingering feeling, he doesn't fully understand what just happened, still trying to catch up with his own feelings, it's the last thing from Crowley that he's got now, their relationship in total tatters.

right if you made it this far, I'm sorry for rambling on but I do sincerely hope you all found this interesting and can add to my observations!! I love this fandom and don't forget to keep watching, we need that season 3.

[projectjasper]

archer rewatches nlmg: episode 11

[episode 10]

i kinda love that palm came so close to considering killing tanya. there is something very meaty, very juicy there.

hey, we're not catholic here. thinking about doing something and doing it are very different things.

absolutely insane and diabolical, i love it

literally one of my favourite mini-eras of their relationship. palm as an official personal bodyguard. they also look sooooooo fucking hot, just look at them!!!

i desperately want to analyse their fashion sense in-depth because i am obsessed with it. and it feels intentional. palm is genuinely stylish. his current change in status just built off of what he always wears, so he simply has a jacket on top of his standard tasteful hawaiian shirt and white low cut tank-top, he always accessorises and has a variety of bracelets and necklaces he wears as well. meanwhile, nueng is very much "i know which items of clothing i should wear for which occasion and... that's it", so he goes for a regular short-sleeved top + shorts pairing on the island and now wears a very straightforward suit and tie combo, and it all very much gives off a "someone else bought all these clothes for me and i'm just throwing together whatever my eyes fall on first" vibe.

well, i have good news for you, kit. a little while longer and you won't have to imagine what it's like when you son sends you to rot and die in prison :)

don't mind me, i'm just trying to figure out how short i am in comparison to pond (results: devastating)

and thank gods for that

gjdflkgjkdf friend? they su[gunshot]

speaking of fashion, chopper's looks are also very stylish and very intentional like!! idk, i wanna talk to the costume designers of this thing asap.

*chanting* PAT-RI-CIDE PAT-RI-CIDE PAT-RI-CIDE

PERTH IS SO FUCKING GOOD I SWEAR TO GODS

look at him, gushing to his mom about his boyfriend, he is so happy with palm and so in love with him 🥹

babe, i know you're insane, but everything should have limits. you are staying together forever or else. this is a threat.

thinking of palm daydreaming about dancing with nueng, when they were dancing with other people. thinking of palm dancing with nueng, when he was drunk and grieving his mom and about to lose nueng. seeing them finally dancing together happily, making plans for the future, promising to never leave each other again.

again, when is it my turn

i'm obsessed with nueng's personality growth btw. babygirl is literally being held hostage and he is laughing in kit's face lmao.

[finale]

[oraclekleo]

hi, dear. i would like to enjoy your mini game.

- what kind of dirty talk would my future spouse be saying to me?

i prefer males, i'm 19 years old, moon in gemini, i have two cats, i like anime and series.

Hello!

Thank you so much for participating in my tiny oracle game!

Let's see!

Card: 19 Contenplation / Analysis / Awareness

Your FS is likely to carefully observe and analyse what makes you tick and what you like first. They are likely to carefully test which endearing names make your heart beat faster and which make you cringe. They might even ask you about your preferences directly because they respect you and want to talk to you in a way that you like. If you are into being praised, they will praise you. If you like some spicy degradation, they will go for it. Both is in the card, worship and degradation so they might even do both, depending on the mood. Whatever the way is, they see you as a whole person and treat you with respect you deserve. You can ask for any treatment from them, sweer or harsh but that never make them any less in love with you.

[groverapologist]

my username is a joke 😔

Intro: Call me jina, I'm 19, bi, nd, currently going by any pronouns, but mainly she/her. I'm Central Asian and MENA.

Big HoO and PJO (book+tv) fan. that's mainly what I post here, but i do post other stuff. rn it's gravity falls and the dragon prince. i post my fair share of percabeth and valgrace.

Other pages: @girlhoodisgrief @pjotwitter

AO3 account: moonssappho. i have 20 published fics! here's the link to my page [x]

mini faq:

Why is your username Grover Apologist?

it's a joke. Not really much to it. Just wanted to have a Grover based username and this was available and was really funny to me because, as you may have noticed, Grover is not in need of an apologist.

Can I send asks?

send me whatever you want! i may not always reply but i love seeing what y'all have to say. i especially like headcanons, headcanon requests, etc. i'm always up for anything.

What do you write on AO3?

Literally 90% Valgrace. I like to shake it up sometimes and write a different pairing/character, but Valgrace comes the most naturally and I love them to bits so.

Why didn't you complete X fic?

I'm just a girl 🎀

Here's where you can find my:

analyses

headcanons

[prismaticpichu]

Howdy!!! Just for fun, and because self-love is important, I’ve went ahead and made a little list of my favorite Tumblr writings for easier access! Just a pile of some of the stupid Zack & Seph things I’ve managed to accumulate here at Weenie Hut Jrs, and the ones I enjoyed making most!

Ty all so much for being a friend and for giving me a safe space to share my whatever-this-is stuff!

Tumblr Things~

Angry Zack

Kitty eyes

Funeral fight

Hospital

Scissors

Cosmic brownie

Zack’s bangs

Zack & Seph post-Nibelheim, in Gongaga

Future

Zack thinks he’s degrading

Firsts’ movie night

Library hug

Zack time travel

Seph “rejecting” Zack

Seph’s hobby

Evil Seph in library

Seph tries snacks (analysis)

Zack escapes Hojo’s lab w/Seph (analysis)

Zack & Genesis’ bond (analysis)

Seph eats mini m&ms (analysis)

Seph visits Gongaga (analysis)

Seph’s hugging circumstances (analysis)

Firsts’ favorite sweets (analysis)

Zack & Seph’s weekend plans (analysis)

Zack & Seph playing board games (analysis)

Zack & Seph babysitting (analysis)

Zack & Cloud w/child seph clone (analysis)

Seph’s golden singing voice (analysis)

How tf does Seph fly (analysis)

Big brother (analysis)

Baby Seph w/Angeal, Gen & Zack (analysis)

Mama Strife coming to the library (analysis)

Mama Strife sequel (analysis)

Dehydrated Seph in Nibelheim (analysis)

Sephiroth’s talents (analysis)

Genesis & Seph fight over- (analysis)

And among lots of other headcanons/analyses/nonsensical ff7 posts I had fun writing! This blog here will always be a fluffy, cozy, safe, supportive space for everyone and anything! Thx for being a part of it!

[hall0wedwyrm]

For a moment I thought I wasn't going to post this BUT then I was like nO so here I am.

This is the thing i said i wrote at 1am and really liked and might become something more but I think I'm actually just gonna do my MCSM Au instead since I had a mini brainstorm for it

anyway uhh enjoy whatever this is !!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They'd become separated.

“Oh... shit...”

Alex spun around a few times, hoping to catch a glimpse of her partners blue shirt between the thick trees.

“Where... Where did you go?!” She cried into the darkness. “Steve?!”

She walked the direction she remembered coming from, but everything began to look the same in panic. She didn't know where she was going, but walking seemed appropriate in her mind.

For a moment, they thought they saw a spot of blue in the distance. Readjusting their viewpoint, they had their hopes confirmed.

“Hey!!” They shouted, trying to get his attention.

He came into view, standing out with the trees. He was facing away, into the forest, most likely looking for them too.

“Hey, you dummy!” She joked, “I was looking for you! Where did you walk off to?”

He didn't respond. He didn't even move.

“I'm talkin' to you...!” She called again, stepping closer. But quickly stopped.

She noticed that his clothes were darker, and his skin had a weird dusty grey tint to it. He looked haggered and his shirt was more torn. He was also missing his backpack, one he never went anywhere without.

“...Steve?”

…

“Alex?!” He couldn't believe he'd lost them. “Alex, where are you?!”

It was dark. Anything could have happened to them. Mobs were plently in places like this. They could be hurt, or stuck in a cave somewhere. Alex wasn't one to be frightened easily, but what if she had stumbled into something that would have?

Steve felt his heart begin to pound. He picked a direction and instantly began to run. Weaving in and out of the trees, trying to watch out for anything trying to lunge or fire at him. He scanned the area, and briefly caught sight of glowing, ginger hair among the trees. He immediately dashed over.

“Oh my Gods… I was looking all over for you...” He stopped to catch his breath, “How did you run off so fast?!”

She didn't respond. She didn't even move.

“Are... you actually mad at me?” He asked, “Cmon please we don't have time for this! It's dark and-”

He began to notice that they were wearing a different shirt; a green polo instead of their usual tunic. They were also definitely taller, and more tattered looking. Scars and grazes that covered their arms were seemingly gone.

“...Alex?”

Steve slowly reached a hand out to them, but was beated to it when they turned around.

A chill when down his spine and his stomach churned. It was someone who looked like Alex, and could probably pass as looking identical to them if it was someone who didn't know them like Steve did...

... but anyone would be able to tell it wasn't truly them...

... with empty eyes like that...

“Who...” He tried to catch his breath again, “Who are you..?”

He didn't get a response, only a twisted kind of smile. Like there was some amusement in his fear. Unconsciously, he had also began to take wide steps backwards.

“What... what's going on..?” He stammered, “What do you want..?”

Whatever it was seemed to take delight in his fear, even begining to laugh a little. It turned around fully to look at him. It seemed to be analysing him back too, still grinning.

I have to get out of here...

Steve sprinted in the opposite direction, looking over his shoulder occasionally, while also looking where he was trying to run. It didn't look like it was following him, only watching as he ran away.

He ran until he felt safe enough to slow down. Which wasn't too far though, he was still supposed to be looking for Alex and if he left the Forest completely that would mean leaving them behind... which was just something he couldn't do.

Steve turned around ans scanned the treeline where he had come from. Nothing.

But he didn't feel comfortable in looking away yet, slowly backing away. If it was going to chase him, now would be a great opportunity to take advantage of-

He walked into something. Something his size. It felt like a person, but at this point he couldn't be sure.

Slowly turning around, he was once again met with ginger hair. He almost screamed, but whoever it was this time also spun around in fear too.

Terrified regular eyes looked back at him.

“S-Steve?!”

“Alex!”

They prompt embraced each other, out of the need for some kind of comfort. Steve felt the grip Alex had on him from the way she gripped onto his shirt.

“Are you okay?!” He panted, still completely out of breath from all the running he had to do.

She looked just as haunted by whatever had scared her. Alex had also clearly been running too, probably also away from something.

“I... I don't know I... I just want to get out of here..!” They gasped.

Steve took as best of a breath as he could, “Me too... Cmon lets-”

His attention was caught by something approaching from where Alex had clearly come from. It was the glowing eyes again... but this time...

It looked like himself instead.

“What the-?”

He instinctively turned around. He unfortunately had his fears confirmed when whatever had scared him had also arrived.

“Oh Gods-” Alex caught sight of it too.

Without even saying another word, they had both agreed on the same thing. They locked eyes.

We have to get the fuck out of here.

They both took off immediately. Running as fast as they could and aiming to go as far as they could.

When they gradually left the forest, they kept going.

Not stopping for anything.

Not waiting around at all.

They stuck together the entire run home.

[characterclassificationsystem]

Updates and Introductions

Hey guys! We’ve posted our final class to the blog and are now moving onto bigger and brighter things. We’re going to utilize all the information we’ve posted to upload analyses classifying characters in media, and why we believe they fit the criteria of a certain class!

When we post these, feel absolutely free to disagree with us on our verdicts! Just be prepared to provide your reasoning, we’ll be sure to ask. If after mutual consultation and review we agree with your claims, we will add an addendum to the post clarifying our new view. Contrarily, if you’d like to provide further evidence / participate in the discussion for why the classification fits, once again, feel free! Also be sure to recommend some characters you would like us to analyze! We’re always looking for fun and interesting characters to break down and theorize about.

Our post schedule will be changing, too. It would be a near-impossible feat to get an analysis up every single day, so while our team remains this size we will bring down the posts to twice a week (Mondays and Fridays at 12pm EST)! Our first analysis will go up on the following Monday.

Now finally, for a little insight to the people behind this system! Currently, we are a team of two, but we’re always looking to expand our partnership to make a brighter future for CCS. Here are mini-profiles of how we would classify ourselves to shed some light on our personalities.

Apollo (he/him 🏳️‍⚧️)

Yellow-Dominant Courier

Adaptable. I’d say I’m a solid 5/10 in terms of adaptability. There’s a fifty-fifty chance when I go into a situation that I’ll be able to really thrive or straight up book it out of there. No in between. 

Eccentric. My colleague says this should be higher but I disagree, I’m going with a 6/10 since I certainly have my moments but I’d die if I had to be “on” all the time. 

Encouraging. While I like being the one who pushes someone to be their best self, I also don’t like the idea of asking others to perform above realistic capabilities so… 6/10.

Idealistic. This is definitely one of my higher ones. I live for the light at the end of the tunnel, the reason to keep moving forward. Easy 8/10.

Passionate. At my best I am quite a passionate individual, but like eccentricity it cannot be my every waking minute. I’d rank this slightly higher though, so I’ll settle on a 7/10.

Philosophical. Let’s philosophize right here, right now, I am so ready! Let’s get into the weeds, asking the big questions about whether God or anything for that matter is even real. I love understanding the underlying reasons and motivations behind why people do the things that they do, and more than anything I want to nail down what we’re really here to do. Self proclaimed but well deserved 10/10.

Related Characteristics:

Ambitious (from Captain).

Creative (from Artist).

Inquisitive (from Inventor).

Introspective (from Merchant). 

Ash (he/him)

Green-Dominant Athlete

Bold. Perfect 10/10. If you wanna challenge it, come and face me. However, on a more realistic note, I like to take a lot of risks and jump into scenarios where other people may hesitate. It’s an ideal trait I’ve seen in many forms of media, and I aspire to use said boldness to help others to the best of my ability.

Capable. My ability to manage the situation and take control is something that has been forged into my very body from when I was young. I am the blade that will not quit in a fight. 8/10.

Disciplined. Apparently my colleague thinks I should rate this higher than I think I deserve. I'm lazy but I do follow a weekly routine and like to make a schedule. 6/10

Dynamic. While I love to be in motion and using my hands to do whatever, I do also love being lazy and in bed when I have nothing else to do. Action is my passion, but not being on the run is a lot of fun. 5/10.

Formidable. I’m only a 3/10. If you saw me in the streets, you would see the rats mugging me.

Keen. If this was One Piece, I’d specialize in Observational Haki. 9/10

Related Characteristics:

Attentive (from Inventor).

Dependable (from Warden).

Playful (from Bard).

Strategic (from Tactician).

[ladymorghul]

Hi, there are a couple of things I'd love to discuss with you and here is the most important one to me. Scene between Alicent and Otto in episode 9 after Aegon was brought to Alicent. I haven't seen people discuss it and I think this moment is so great to analyse. Maybe I am the only one, but Alicent's words 'I wanted whatever you made me want' and that she was a piece he moved as he wished are just so magnificent, that moment of realization, her admitting 'I didn't have a real chance of figuring out what I truly want for myself' just aimed straight to my heart. It's really heartbreaking that she lived a life Otto wanted her to live, no wonder all the anxiety she have experienced in all these years.

And then Otto saying 'I made you a queen' like it was something that in his head every single woman should want, like there was no better place to be, like she should be grateful. He said it in this manner 'Look, you are the queen thanks to me'. I just wanted to scream 'Just because you dreamed of this doesn't mean she also did'. And then I recalled 'Little Women' newest version where Meg tells Jo that just because her dreams are different doesn't mean they are unimportant. Alicent has tried to navigate her life as best as she could, but as Olivia said, she doesn't feel her own heartbeat, she knows she isn't free to live and love as she wants to. But her acknowledging that she has been used for so long it's really liberating, she stood her ground, she said their hearts were never one and I hope in season 2 she will shine as her own person since she expressed she will no longer just silently obey, she will light her own way cause she and Otto reached a point when she simply has enough of being used. I can't help it, to me she is the best written character in the show and also the most interesting one and can't wait to see more of her in season 2.

Sorry for this mini essay, I truly did my best to not make it so long but when it comes to Alicent I fail, maybe if I loved her less I would be able to write about her in 3 short sentences 😅

hey there!

i agree i also liked that scene of her standing up!

tbh in my head it immediately paralleled with the scene from the movie i, tonya, where tonya asks her mother "when i was a kid, did you ever love me?" and her mother says "i made you a champion, knowing you'll hate me for it. that's the sacrifice a mother makes." and tonya just says "you cursed me"

otto is a narcissistic parent. he cares about using others to achieve his own goals but he also cares about making his house achieve power and look good because it reflects back on him.

he is also most likely one of the reason when we meet alicent in the show, she's already self harming.