[Matilda sighs, closing the back door with a slam to announce her presence]
Beatrix: Sweetie-pie! It’s been such a long-.. oh, oh!
Matilda: Don’t get excited, it’s not mine.
Beatrix: [gets excited] Look at you! Oh, why didn’t you visit sooner?! We could’ve-…
Matilda: I’m just carrying it for someone else.
Beatrix: What’re you talking ab-…
Carson: Whose fucking baby is that?!
Miles: Holy shit-.. are you pregnant?
Matilda: No, Miles.. I swallowed a fucking watermelon.
Beatrix: Don’t swear, sweetie.
Carson: Whose is it?!
Miles: It better not be Sam’s.
Beatrix: She says it isn’t hers…
Carson: Well, that’s fucking ridiculous, it’s-…
Matilda: If you’d all shut the fuck up for a second, maybe I could explain.
…
Carson: What the hell is wrong with you? You’re not giving up your own baby.
Matilda: It’s not mine, it never was.
Carson: Look.. I don’t care if it was an accident, you live with the consequences.
Matilda: It wasn’t an accident! I told you-…
Carson: [snorts] They can adopt.
Matilda: Yeah, they’re adopting this.
[Beatrix sobs something along the lines of “how could you”, but it’s mostly intelligible]
Matilda: They’re getting this baby, whether you like it or not.
Carson: Like fuck they are, that’s our grandchild!
Matilda: [scoffs] Some grandparents you’d be.
Carson: Hey, you watch your fucking tone-…
Matilda: You can’t tell me what to do with my tone, my body or my baby.
Carson: Get back here-.. Matilda!
[Beatrix buries herself into her husband’s chest as Matilda storms off, weeping incessantly]
Carson: [yells] When’s it due?!
…
Miles: Tilly, wait!
[Matilda barely slows down, throwing a glare over her shoulder]
Miles: You could’ve asked, y’know.. if you needed the money.
Matilda: God-.. they’re not paying me, Miles.
Miles: Maybe they should be?
Matilda: [laughs bitterly] Fuck off.
Hugh Bonneville will portray a news reporter who makes a big mistake, while Alex Kingston plays his partner in the upcoming ITVX 4-part comedy series "Douglas Is Cancelled," written by Steven Moffat and co-starring Karen Gillan and Ben Miles airs 27 June, 2024 at 9 pm.
why didn’t no one tell me there’s a show with Amelia Pond and her daughter River Song? My family is back
The show is so mf good it’s written by Moffat ofc it’s so good and ridiculously funny and its got nick Mohamed Ben miles all my favs in it! God I love British TV nothing ever beats it be it whatever genre and the rise of it this years is crazy I’ve watched almost all of the shows
JEFF THE LANDSHARK STARS IN HIS OWN FIN-TASTIC COMIC! Since his very first appearance, Jeff the Land Shark has flooded our hearts like an adorable tidal wave! Now the ingenious, the extraordinary, the unbearably innocent Jeff embarks on his own adventures across the Marvel Universe! You thought it was safe doing laundry or going for a leisurely swim in the pool…but no activity can protect against Jeff’s cuteness! Collecting the hit Infinity Comics series from the Marvel Unlimited app, this one-shot features a brand-new cover and tail…we mean tale!
Written by: Kelly Thompson
Art by: Gurihiru
Cover by: Gurihiru
Page Count: 44 Pages
Release Date: March 29, 2023
"Douglas Is Cancelled": Doctor Who's Alex Kingston and Karen Gillan reunite for Steven Moffat series
ITV has commissioned a four-part series about cancel culture, set in the world of television news, with an array of stars helming the cast. The show features Hugh Bonneville as news presenter Douglas, and Karen Gillan as his savvy co-anchor Madeline. Steven Moffat, who wrote and will executive produce show, said, "I just sat down and wrote this - didn't even tell anyone what I was doing. And now it's all happening, thanks to the amazing Sue Vertue (renowned TV producer and, in a rare moment of weakness, my wife). I can't quite believe we've managed to get the mighty Hugh Bonneville involved as Douglas and that we've lured my old friend Karen Gillan back from Hollywood, to play Madeline. And like that's not enough, we've got Ben Miles, Alex Kingston, Nick Mohammed and Simon Russell Beale. It's the kind of cast that makes you terrified about stepping into the room." [X]